Skunk One-shot

 

The following is an excerpt from “Equestrian’s Pocket Guide to Sapient Reptilians”

 

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The pursuit of knowledge is a damnable thing, in fact most sapient species of Equus share a common bond to organize and attempt to make sense of the world around them, it is natural for us to better understand the world we inhabit. Yet the world seems against this, reviling in chaos, new ideas and discoveries questioning and breaking the solid facts and barriers that were previously understood. A sapient creature that seems to be the embodiment of that chaos is none other than the Dragon. Six limbed reptiles that can grow as tall as a mountain yet glide through the skies with great ease. Their scales and even wings are fireproof, they have a habit of hoarding treasures and eating gemstones, and are even capable of breathing fire.

 

It is no surprise that the most infamous of reptilian sapients are the Dragons of course, although there are many varieties found widespread around the globe, we ponies tend to know quite little about them. Appearing to have evolved naturally and developing sapience as some form of convergent evolution(?) they are quite different from the main civilizations of Equus, and even other sapient reptilians, they are more like walking natural disasters. Though fully grown adults appear to be fully sapient and capable of speech, on the rare encounter they are nearly always hostile.

 

Although it is well documented that there are multiple countries of somewhat civilized dragons living in the old world, we ponies mostly know of dragons through their bizarre nesting practices. Young dragons are scarcely encountered on our side of the globe, and although they are thankfully uncommon, you are much more likely to encounter lone adult dragons. Said dragons are often nestled in “lairs” of their own making, usually at the peaks of mountains, in caves, craters, overlooks, and peaks. Their homes are the most primitive of shelters, just being large spaces for dragons to rest in and keep their hoards of precious treasures. Such “treasures” vary greatly, some dragons hoarding precious gems, raw gold, expensive jewelry, and more inexperienced or stunted dragons hoard stolen furniture and seemingly random junk.

 

The cause of this hoarding is poorly understood, although there have been many guesses on the reasoning for this phenomena, the general consensus is that dragons are simply greedy by nature. One study suggested that dragons hoard goods as a form of courtship ritual, another proposes that the amount of wealth accumulated is somehow related to their physical size, the more wealthier a dragon becomes, the greater they are in strength and size.

 

Whatever the reason is, dragons are fiercely protective of their hoards and dragons carving their homes into mountaintops nearby to pony civilizations has been a problem for many generations. A telltale sign of a dragon lair are clouds of billowing black smoke erupting from the peaks of mountains, sometimes mistaken for volcanoes; these clouds pose a great threat to local plant-life. Of course such sights are hard to miss and any reports are of serious concern.

 

 

 

 

One of the more infamous quirks of dragons is their tendency to consume gemstones just as normal as any other food. Although this trait is an extremely notable one, yes, there are many animals and even sapient races that swallow or even chew and consume minerals for various reasons. For context, I will be going over a brief description of such things before we get into the discussion of dragon digestion.

 

Many animals both sapient and otherwise occasionally intentionally swallow stones to aid in digestion, the stones were stored in the stomach and were used to help grind up and break down large pieces of food, even some aquatic animals swallow stones to help control their buoyancy. In times of famine, many creatures tend to consume rocks to fill the void in their stomachs, helping to alleviate stomach pain. Even in our modern day, some groups of ponies intentionally eat rocks to treat dietary deficiencies.

 

In us ponies, there are mineral concretions formed by the calcification of foreign objects we cannot digest, such as seeds, rock fragments, or similar foreign objects. Such objects are formed much like pearls, yet these are called enteroliths. Many of us will pass this without issue and often do so without even realizing it. However, large indigestible materials may form blockages which lead to heavy abdominal pain, which in turn may lead to colic. In this case the foreign objects may have to be removed through surgery.

 

So even though many animals including ponies have been found to intentionally consume rocks, the idea of a sapient species doing so near constantly and without risk is rather baffling. Dragons are gigantic creatures, spending most of their time in deep sleep, presumably to save body fat, it is hypothesized that they have developed this tendency to eat gems as a means of additional nutrition. Although this is a highly debated subject in zoological studies, they would be much more likely to simply develop herbivorous tendencies than specialize in such an odd food source.

 

Another anatomical oddity, and one that may carry keep connotations is quite an obscure bit of trivia, one of the most vital organs of the dragon, the heart, is often found to be purely composed of crystal. This process is mostly unknown and little research has been done on the subject, the circumstance being given the name of “cardiovascular crystallization”. Of course this is a bizarre example of calcification or even a form of pertification found in many curse spells. However, with calcification the bodily organ is wrapped in a stony layer of calcium salts that give the organ a stoney appearance. In petrification, the body is rendered totally immobile and sessile, essentially replacing the victim with a statue of themselves, only reverting back to their natural forms upon reversal of the curse.

 

 

This “cardiovascular crystallization” is thought to be unique to only adult dragons, and seems to be somewhat rare. The current hypothesis directly links dragon hoarding and the odd crystal ingestion that dragons seem to partake in. It is thought that these crystal hearts have some form of magical impact on the dragon, although whatever this magic is, is wholly unknown. It is worth noting that the heart still functions just as normally as a normal one would. Acting as a central pump and control to the network of blood vessels passing oxygen rich blood cells to the rest of the body. The process of crystallization is not understood and both the cause and use for such a bizarre mechanism is still a mystery.

 

Although we do not know why dragons do this, we do have several examples of how it affects our pony society. In the past it is thought that the ecological region comprising modern day Equestria was once home to a wider variety of dragons, this is due to a large quantity of gemstones found in our soils and caverns. Many of which are broken remnants of dragon hearts that have shifted throughout the soil through the years. Due to crystalline hearts being virtually indistinguishable from regular gems once their form is broken, this actually leads many dragons to find gemstones that were once part of a dragon’s heart and eat them as if they were just another gem. It is not known if there are wider effects of this bizarre form of cannibalism, and many would argue that it barely counts as such an action.

 

The crystal-rich soil of Equestria somewhat pales in comparison to the mineral density of the Crystalline Mountains north of the crystal empire. Paired with many dragon fossils found in the arctic area, one would believe it was the source of some find of dragon settlement or civilization. However this contrasts greatly with the inhospitable region of the tundra, dragons are cold-blooded and of course would find such a region inhospitable. There is also barely any flora or fauna, thus a large population of adult dragons would be impossible to support here. It is instead hypothesized that such an inhospitable place may be a form of dragon graveyard. A location where many ancient dragons would migrate to at the end of their lives to die among their kind. In summary, high densities of gemstones buried deep in the permafrost are believed to be a form of dragon graveyard.

 

Of course, when a creature as large as an adult dragon dies, there is going to be a lot of use for all that flesh and bone. It is rather morbid of course, the colossal dragons are often seen as mindless monsters that kill, steal, and laze about, but it is important to know that these are still sapient creatures capable of speech and complex thought. Regardless, it provides a feeding frenzy for scavengers and decomposers alike, providing rich nutrients for the soil, and even herbivorous ungulates such as ourselves may make use of dragon scales, bones, and of course their crystal hearts.

 

A very noteworthy example of this is the distant city of Drainflunk, a rather morbid name for a rather morbid city, positioned near the basalt beach of central Equestria. Of course the focal point and whole reason why I bring up such a backwater town is the cause for the town’s founding. The first thing you’d notice is the rather breathtaking sight of a gigantic dragon skeleton, seemingly impaled on the mountain range. The gigantic creature’s bones provide structure and support for a number of buildings and bridges, while the townsponies mined its valuable crystal heart.

 

Of course, the instant the average Equestrian citizen hears the phrase “crystal heart” their thoughts instantly turn to the Crystal Empire. And yes, I do believe the central artifact of light and love providing magical protection from the elements is in fact a dragon’s heart.

 

I know many of you probably closed the book right now and here as such a take is rather baffling, as how could such a heavenly artifact and conduit of love be in any way shape or form related to the beastial, terrible dragons?

 

Well, it is a rather long story, and my hooves hurt.

 

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