PASTEDOWN   607   2
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Anon Goes to Prison

By catnyp
Created: 2022-11-24 08:48:26
Updated: 2022-11-24 08:55:06
Expiry: Never

You are Anon, a human who had just been transported to Equestria by unknown means about 6 months ago. These talking horses are weird to you, and their culture is the equivalent of "Weenie Hut Jr." A crime of your world's level is unheard of in this world. Apparently, no one here would ever think of killing or robbing banks. They'd rather just have little pony squabbles and prance around like nothing was wrong. What really confuses you is that you've seen everyone scared of the prisons. It's almost as if the prisons are worse than your world's Nazi death camps.

The prisons here are apparently feared and avoided in conversation by the ponies. Your friend Lyra, a mint green pony, had told you about the horrible time she had at the jail when she only had to spend a couple of days. She never really went into details, all you heard was "Oh, it was SO BAD!" and "I hope I never go there again, Anon! I'll never commit another crime! I swore!" from her.

You are completely clueless as to what had gone on in there, but you guessed that it was extremely traumatizing, for whatever reason. Eventually, you began to fear the prison too. All the ponies being scared caused you to be scared.

What made it worse for you, is that you're an ex-convict and you had spent your time in human prisons before. You have experience with these kinds of things, and that's why you were caught off-guard when you had the law enforcement called on you for such a silly thing. You were absolutely terrified when you were tackled by around ten cute little "police ponies" and promptly dragged to the jail.

You are currently sitting in a cell with a nasty-looking inmate. To keep your mind off the fear of the horrible things that may happen, you reminisce on how you got jailed.

"Hey, watch where you're going, you silly monkey!" said a rather rude male pony who bumped into you at the grocery store. This really pissed you off, for you had been minding your own business looking at some store-brand knockoffs. You turn to the pony, and you can already tell that he made a huge mistake. The pony looked at you with absolute terror. You were a clean 3 feet taller than the pony. The pony snarls.

"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch?" you say. As if right on queue, the pony immediately stops snarling and has his tail between his cheeks, tucked tight like his mommy used to every night before bed.

"D-d-d-did you just u-u-use two of the..." the pony had a hard time naming the language you just used for some reason, "..t-the b-bad words?"

"Fucking hell, you can't handle a little cursing?" you retort. You couldn't believe that there was hardly any cursing in this world.

"How can you s-say those horrible things? I did nothing to you!" said the pony. The pony then causes a scene, garnering the attention of everyone within a 100 foot radius, flailing about. The pony then promptly punches himself in the eye for effect, leaving a black eye. He looks back at you with a menacing grin.

"What the hell are you doing to yourself?" you say.

"POLICE! POLICE! HELP! I'VE BEEN CUSSED OUT! I'M HURT! HELP!" he screams in the middle of the supermarket.

You look at him in terror. This was no reason to scream about! You didn't even harm him! You then notice the increasing noise of hooves clopping against the ground.

"Is that him?"

"Get him! That's the one!"

"You're under arrest for speaking the, uh, b-bad words to an innocent citizen! And also punching him! Look at him, how could you do that?" Said the leader of a group of 10 police ponies. The leader's a girl, but you assume she's the sheriff. Her coat is a cyan blue and she has blonde hair that's tied back into a ponytail. And she also has wings. Great, she can chase you.

"I didn't even touch him, and I'm pretty sure he's racist too-" you say before getting interrupted.

"Lies! No one commits a crime in my town! You're going to be punished! Get him!" shouts the sheriff.

You then get restrained by rope being tied around you and a rush of a group of cute horses trying to capture you. Eventually, you trip and fall, and they pick you up and carry you to the Ponyville prison.

You're brought through the doors of the jail and you're untied. You don't even try to fight back, you already know how that ends for people in custody. The sheriff looks back at you.

"Alright, I see you're being a good boy so far." she says. You're pretty sure she's mocking you by now, but you've had your run ins with cops and you're not gonna try anything because you know how cops act when they feel powerful. The crowd of police disperse from around you, and go elsewhere in the building to do police things. The sheriff remains.

"I'm gonna have you dress up in standard prisoner garb, and then I'll leave you to the warden's disposal. Follow me."

You're led by the pony to a counter, where you then registered and signed your name so they could keep track of you. You then are forced to follow the sheriff into a secluded room which has varying uniforms for varying creatures.

"I suppose a minotaur outfit would suit you." says the sheriff. "Oh, you probably don't know my name yet. My name's Prime Patrol! What's your name?"

You have no idea why she's suddenly being nice to you. You'd assume that it's just a courtesy of the pony world to be nice regardless whether the person in question is a hero or a convict, or in this case, an alien from another dimension who's ALSO a convict.

"I'm, uh, Anonymous. You can call me Anon." you say, awkwardly.

"Anon! What a lovely name!" She says. "Also, I need you to strip down for me."

As awkward as it was, you oblige and hide your genitals from Prime Patrol. Knowing how mares keep thinking you're so hot in this world, you couldn't help but notice her trying to get a peek.

"I-is it true? Do you hyoomans really have more.... stamina?" Prime Patrol says.

You look at her, right as you finish dressing. You see her blushing and making horse noises. You're annoyed that every new girl you meet in this place asks you that.

"Yes, humans can run for miles without breaking a sweat! It's cool to see!" you say. That was a half-lie, as your kind can run for a while, but not that long and without breaking a sweat. Prime Patrol looks down at the ground, having failed to get an answer that she wants.

"O-oh. Okay." she says, sheepishly.

"By the way, how long am I staying here?" you ask.

"About a month, because your crime was really bad."

You shudder. Even though you had spent 6 years in human prison, you'd hate to find out how bad the pony prison was. You've always wondered why everyone's so behaved.

"Nopony usually gets that long of a sentence, but I'm sure you'll be fine if you follow the rules and be a good boy!" she says.

Again with the mocking. You're getting really pissed, but you contain your piss-ness because that's your biz-ness.

"Alright, follow me, I'll show you to your warden!"

"Hi there! I hope you're ready to learn how to behave and not hurt anypony's feelings, Mr. Anon!" says a motherly-looking earth-pony mare with glasses. Her coat is that of a creamy color, while her hair is a lavender color. Her butt-stamp is covered by warden clothes. "I'm Daycare! I hope we can be real good friends!"

"Please follow me, Anon! I'll show you to your new prison-buddy!" she pipes.

As you walk down the hallways of the prison, you take note of how clean and well-kept everything is, as if it were some kind of hotel. You can't really see into any of the "cells", if you could call them. They have actual doors kept on the containment rooms with an electronic keypad on each of them. No windows are on the doors.

"Why aren't there any.. real cells?" you ask.

"That would just scare everypony! Nopony wants to be alone and cold!" says Daycare.

"You're joking, right?"

"Haha! You're silly, Anon! But don't be too silly, or else you might get your good boy points taken away from you if you don't follow the rules."

"You're talking as if this is some kind of daycare for convicts."

"No, this is a prison where everypony gets punished for doing crimes, silly!"

You're really beginning to hate all the mocking, it's as if they're trying to comfort you from your impending doom. Even though you managed to not get raped in your jail visits, getting raped by huge ponies would suck. From what you've heard (and seen on the internet when you were still on Earth,) horse dicks can be really hu-

"And here we are! Hey there, Mr. Biceps! I've got a new cell-mate for you!" Daycare says to a huge muscly figure in the cell. You shiver in fear.

"YEAH?" says a loud, deep, and obnoxious voice from inside the cell.

"Whoops! Looks like your light is off! Let me get that..." said Daycare as she flipped a lightswitch, which turned on a light that was in surprisingly good condition. Inside you see this huge-ass muscle-pony which has a fucking mohawk. From what you can see, he (you're assuming it's a he) has a white coat and a blonde mane. Great, a fucking aryan, you think. Daycare holds open the door and you begrudgingly walk in, keeping a distance from "Mr. Biceps", who was looking at you and smiling.

"I'll come back to let you out for lunch and recess! You two should get to know each other!" says Daycare as she locks the door and walks off. You thought you heard her say something about how sad it was that Mr. Biceps had to keep getting new cell-mates.

You look around the cell, avoiding taking a look at your cell-mate. From what you can see, this is no cell, but a fucking hotel room. It's got a private bathroom and everything, including two nice-looking beds. Before you could explore your "suite", you're poked on the shoulder by Mr. Biceps. You're forced to turn around and face the muscle-pony who's sitting on one of the beds.

"HEY THERE. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? I'M BULK BICEPS, I'M SPECIAL LIKE A SNOWFLAKE! JUST CALL ME BULK BICEPS." says Bulk Biceps. This pony is about 1 foot shorter than you, but you can probably assume that he outweighs you by about 400 pounds.

"Uh, special you are. I'm Anonymous. You can call me Anon though." you say.


You only shudder and imagine what his definition of fun could mean.

Author's Notes: Pony prison, a horrible place where none should go to.

Chapter 2 Bulk Biceps had pulled out a game of "Scrabble" from under his bed. He looked at the door that led outside of the cell, looked at you, and then carefully placed it in front of you. He sat down by the game box, and proceeded to carefully open it up, keeping very quiet.

You then look at him, confused. Had this muscly, manly, Schwarzenegger pony just smuggle in a game of Scrabble? Then you realise that in the game box, there could be a weapon. There could be a very deadly bomb that might explode the entire building. Would he destroy the building? Did he manage to smuggle something to murder you with so that he wouldn't have to get blood on his hooves?

"NOW, DON'T TELL ANYPONY ABOUT THIS. THIS IS TOP-SECRET, BETWEEN YOU AND ME, GOT IT?" said Bulk Biceps to you. He actually looks nervous. Could he be hiding drugs? Is he about to give you weed?

He slowly opens the box. You look in anticipation. He's getting really nervous.

He then fully opens the box to reveal... an actual game of scrabble. You are beyond confused at this point. Why would he be so nervous about Scrabble?


"Uh, no thanks." you say.

A couple of hours passed, Bulk Biceps is working out with a bench press in the corner. You're sitting on the bed, wondering if this even is a prison. Can it be called a prison? You think it would be more like a very long comfortable time-out. Just as you were about to get bored, you hear the door opening. You look over to find a guard in the doorway.

"Okay colts, it's time to go have lunch!" the guard pony said. The guard then walks away from the door, leaving it open.

"HURRY, ANON. WE DON'T WANT TO MISS RECESS AFTER LUNCH!" said Bulk Biceps. He rushes out of the room, leaving you behind in the hotel ro- cell. Curious, you cautiously walk out of the "cell" and you then follow him to the mess hall. It's basically just a big middle-school cafeteria. The tables are long and they have cheap circular stools built in them, and the walls are an ugly grey. The lights seem to be just fine compared to some mess halls you've seen.

You see Bulk Biceps trot over to a table happily, and he sits by what looks like a griffin, and a few other ponies. He immediately starts chatting with them. After about 30 seconds he motions you to go over and sit with him. Since you have nowhere else to go and to sit, you slowly walk over there, getting looks from all the ponies in the room as you walk by.

"What did he do? Isn't he the nicest guy or something?"

"What IS he? Did he steal a lunchbox or something?"

"Is what they say about humans true?"

After what seemed like an hour when it was only 15 seconds to get over to the table, you finally sit down by Bulk Biceps and the griffin.

"THIS IS ANON. HE IS NEW HERE." says Bulk Biceps as he introduces you to his group of friends.

Now that you're closer, you can see the griffin clearer, and by your guess, it's a girl for sure. She has the standard white eagle head, with black fur and wings. She has a scar that runs down from her eye, signalling that she might have gotten into a fight. She has that kind of cynical look, and she looks at you up and down.

"So, you're one of those hyoomans?" she says.

"Hue-mans. Yeah, what did you expect?" you reply.

"I thought that you were smaller. Huh." she says. "I'm Helka, by the way."

"Nice to meet you, Helka." you say.

You chat for about five minutes, and you wonder why no one is getting up to the lunch line to get food.

"I'm hungry, I'll go get food." you say, causing everyone to look at you with their mouths agape. You get up and walk to the lunch line, behind a few ponies talking happily. Their talking ceases once they realize that you just went from your table. The ponies that were talking look at you like you're crazy. You didn't notice the guard coming up from behind you.

"Why are you getting out of your seat without permission, young stallion?" says an old-looking female guard pony.

"Wait, we need permission to get up out of our seats?" you say.

"Don't get smart with me, mister!" she says, sternly. Everyone in the cafeteria is looking at you now. Apparently, you caused a scene.

Everyone is looking at you, wondering what you'll do next.

"I'm not getting smart with you, I just-" you get interrupted.

"Go back to your table right now! Wait until somepony comes to set your table to get lunch!"

"Hell no, I'm hungry and you're telling me I got to wait?" you say. The guard is left aghast at your language.

"That's one more day in jail for that! Watch your language, young colt! I'll have you in here for isolated lunch if you can't have respect towards your elders!" Everyone in the room gasps. You're getting another day for that? Oh well, you assume that can't be much.

"Just another day in paradise, I guess." you say.

"P-paradise? Prison is not a paradise! Go sit down right now and think about your actions!"

You hesitate, and everyone is still looking at you and the guard. You then realize that the lunches here are like lunches in middle school. That means that you have to wait. Not wanting any more trouble, you oblige and sit down with your table. Immediately after that, everyone starts talking again, slightly louder. It seems that they're talking about you.

"What are you doing? Are you crazy?" says Helka.

"Since when do we have to wait to get lunch?" you say.

"Since forever! You have to wait, just like everybody else."


"Who's Edge?" you ask.

"You don't know? He's the worst prisoner here! I heard that he stole a pudding cup from his poor cell-mate, and then slept in his cell-mate's bed! And he didn't even get tucked in!" says a random pony at your table.

"That's it? Geez, that's nothing. Why would that make him the worst?" you say.

"Dude, I knew you were hardcore, but that's crazy! I think Edge is looking at you right now!" says Helka.

She was right, you are being watched. You're pretty sure you can tell who Edge is. Edge appears to be this red/black color palette pony a couple of tables away. He's eyeing you, watching your movements.

"I'd stay away from him, he's up to no good!" says another pony at the table.

"Whatever. I'm hungry."

Later, when you manage to get to the lunch line and your table is released, you're waiting awkwardly in front of Bulk Biceps and Helka. You get to choose what you eat.

"Would you like some pizza?" says the lunch-pony.

"No, some broccoli and salad would be fine." The lunch-pony is staring at you, mouth agape.

"A-alright then." the pony says. Everyone in the line is staring at you.

"I can't stand broccoli! And he WANTS it? He's crazy!" you hear someone say. Bulk Biceps looks at you.


You don't get what the deal is, you just grab a bottle of water and get back to your table to eat.

The lunch period passes by normally. You and everyone else in the cafeteria are rushed out to a playground of all things.

"Finally! Recess! I get to play and hang out with my friends! Catch you later, Anon!" says Helka. You look at the playground. Your old kindergarten playground had nothing on this. There are multiple structures, about 30. Everyone is playing all over them. You are confused by this. You walk over to one of the guards that was monitoring the playground.

"Hey, why is there a playground in this prison?" you ask.

"Why wouldn't there be? Prison is traumatizing to everyone who enters. It helps keep them calm, and it also teaches them how to be nice!" says the guard.

"Aren't they supposed to be, you know, punished?"

"You're being silly. I'm gonna take a couple of good boy points away from you, Anon. Stop questioning everything, it's not nice!" says the guard. You figure that there's nothing else to say and you promptly fuck off. Looking for stuff to do, since you're not allowed to go back in and be actually punished, you go find people to hang around.

You find a couple of groups hanging around some large yellow tubes.

"And then he said, h-heck no! It was crazy! You should have seen it!" says a pony in a tube. The ponies in the group didn't notice you walking up.

"Mind if I sit here?" you say, startling everyone in the circle.

"THERE HE IS! RUN!" says someone in the group. In a blink of an eye, the entire area around these tubes is clear of pony. You are confused to why they'd run away, they're convicts just like you. But then you realize that they're not running away from you. They weren't even paying attention to you. No, they're running away from this real Edgy pony walking up to them.

"Ha! Losers! What a bunch of butt-sniffers, am I right, guys?" says a familiar red/black palette pony surrounded by a group of goons.

It seems you've found Edge, the all-feared prison ruler who apparently makes everybody his bitch. He then looks at you.

"Hey, you! Come over here!" he says.

"Me?" you say.

"Yeah you, you dummy! Get over here!"

You figure you're not getting out of this one, seeing as you're surrounded by his group, locking you and Edge in a circle.

"It seems you're trying to show who's boss in this prison! Look, pal. I'm the one who runs this prison, and I own you now." says Edge.

"Yeah, right." you say. Edge looks at you, questioning your defiance.

"I know what you did in the lunch room. You can't be more powerful than me. I won't allow it." says Edge.

"I'm not even trying to, I don't even know who you a-"

"Don't make me mad. I'll boop you right in your stoopy monkey nose!" Edge says. His gang is whispering among their selves, they're speculating on whether you're getting the boop.

"Get on your knees." says Edge. The gang hoots.


"Did I stutter? Get on your knees."

You feel yourself being forced down on your knees by 2 ponies much bigger than you. Edge smirks, gets up to you, and gets in your face. There's now the entire prison around you, watching and waiting to see what's gonna happen. Edge reels back his hoof, ready to strike your manly features.

He releases his arm, his hoof flying to your face at a blazing fast one mile per hour. Time has seemed to slow down, his hoof approaching your precious nose. It's coming closer and closer, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. You begin to feel your eyes swell up, tears beginning to form. It's going to happen.

His hoof is now inches away from your nose.

His hoof is about to touch the precious nose.

The crowd looks on in horror, shocked at the sight. He's really gonna do it!

The hoof stops a millimeter away from your face.


Author's Notes: Leading causes of death in Equestria:

  1. Hurt feelings.
  2. Shocking sites.
  3. Booping.

Chapter 3 After your nose got booped, you were released. What Edge had failed to realize, is that you are a human and you are stronger than a little pony. Sadly, he didn't know that you had spent 6 whole years in a prison where they didn't give you toilets. Edge still is in front of you, smiling because he is completely oblivious to what he had started. You look at him with a fury in your eyes, for he made a huge mistake.

He turns around to the crowd, leaving himself vulnerable for a nasty sucker punch.

"Look, see everypony? Look how much a wimp this hyooman is, I bet he still uses his pacifi-"

You walk towards him furiously and you slap him from behind. This earns a few cheers and gasps from the crowd, now that they see that you stand up for yourself.

"Wh- huh?" he stammered, shocked that he got slapped. He starts tearing up.

"T-that's not fair! I'll make you pay!" he gets up, wipes his nose from all the snot, and goes into an angry horse stance. "I'm gonna make you hurt!" He rushes at you, putting no thought into his battle tactics. He swipes at your leg, to which you simply dodge by stepping backwards. He is visibly perturbed by this, and gets a little pissy at himself. You slap him a second time, this time you rang his bell and he's on the verge of being knocked out.

He shakes his head to clear up, and then he attempts to buck you in your leg. He turns around to buck, but you were faster than him. You crouch, and push up his leg right in the middle of the buck and flip him over on his back. At this point, since he slammed his head on the ground, he doesn't even know what planet this is. He probably still thinks he's a baby, and he's missing his mommy.

He starts crying and spouting incomprehensible stuff. He tries to get up, but you stop him. You don't waste a moment to allow him to recover, and you promptly get on top of him, pinning him down. You get in his face.

"DO YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME? HUH?" you shout in his face. His face is completely covered in dirt, snot, and tears.

"N-no..." he manages to squeak out.

The crowd cheers, and also starts to laugh at Edge.


"No!" he says, a bit louder.

"ARE YOU SORRY?!" you shout even louder, right in his ear.

"I'm sorry!" he says.



"DON'T RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME!" you screech.

You get off of him, and leave him on the ground. Everyone around you cheers and surrounds you to thank you and congratulate you.

"That was awesome, Anon! Thanks for doing that for us!" says someone out of the group that Edge scared away. The next ten minutes are filled with everyone celebrating that the menace is defeated, and how great you are. You feel as if this moment couldn't be ruined. That is, you thought that before the guards came rushing out.


"I have no idea! Let's get the sheriff out here immediately!"

After 30 seconds, the sheriff comes rushing out, silencing the crowd of prisoners.

"Okay, okay, everypony get back to your cells. Recess ends early today. Nothing to see here, young colts and fillies." says Prime Patrol. Everyone hesitates, then gives in and starts to head back, leaving you with a crowd of prison guards and a sheriff who's making cute angry horse noises.

"ANON! What in Tartarus were you thinking? You could have hurt him! Tell me what happened!"

"He got his gang and held me on my knees, he, uh, punched me in my face and I slapped him. I was only protecting myself from this bully!" you half-lie. You want Edge to be punished here. Edge groans on the ground and the guards bring him back inside to the medical room.

"Since it's your first day, you aren't used to the prison. I'm just going to have to put you in cold confinement so you can think over what you've done, and hopefully you'll put a stop to your actions."

Some of the guards gasp. You guess that cold confinement is where it gets serious. Could it be like those cells that are completely empty and you only have a hole in the ground to shit and piss in? Where they take away your clothes and make you stay there for days, naked? You don't want to go through with that shit, so you just try to walk away, hoping they'd be too wimpy to even try anything.

A guard jumps up on your shoulder, and you throw him off, and another guard rushes you and makes you stumble. You're laughing harder and harder as more and more guards try to capture you.

"You're never gonna take me alive!" you shout.

You didn't notice that a guard shoved a needle up your ass, injecting you with tranquilizer. You slow down, falling to the ground because you can't control your muscles. You then blink and suddenly you're in a spa of some sort, naked, and in a hot tub. A female earth pony guard is standing above you, waiting for you to wake up. You realize you've been knocked out, as this was a familiar feeling because you had to be tranquilized in your old prison.

"You're awake, Anon! I'm terribly sorry you had to be neutralized, but we needed to calm you down. This is your punishment. We're going to make the water a bit cold for you, and you'll have to stay in here for an hour, okay? Any questions?" she says.

"No. It's okay, I'm ready to take my punishment." you say, hoping to get some "good boy" points with the guard. The guard smiles warmly as she goes over to the control panel near the hot tub, and turns down a dial. A minute passes.

"When's it going to get cold?" you ask.

"W-what? What do you mean?"

"It's a little less warm, but it's as if you're not even trying. Try dumping some ice cubes in here."

"A-are you sure? This is the lowest setting, 79 degrees. Most ponies would be uncomfortable by now!"

"I'm supposed to be punished, right? Call in for a bag of ice or something. Punish me."

After you said "punish me", the mare visibly blushed.

"O-okay." She pulls out a walkie talkie, and asks for a guard to bring a bag of ice. You decide to have fun with her.

After about a minute, a male guard walks in with a huge bag of ice, struggling to keep from falling over as the ice nearly crushed the guard's back. He finally got over to the hot tub and dropped the ice bag, stood up, and stretched his back.

"Might I ask, what are you going to do with the ice?"

"The prisoner wants i-ice, apparently."

"Oh, alright. Have a nice day!" says the other guard as he walks out of the door, blissfully oblivious as to what you're going to do to this poor mare. You turn to the mare, making her flustered.

"Put the ice in a cube at a time." you say.


She slowly and nervously drags the heavy bag over to the side of the tub. She looks at you, and you make hand motions signalling to go ahead. She opens up the bag, picks up a cube, and drops it in.

"Drop another in."

She blushes a little harder, and she drops another cube in.

"Drop two in. Make me suffer."

She drops two in, looking at you.

"W-why are you doing this? Do you want to be punished?"

"Shh, I know you're enjoying this. Drop three in."

She hesitates, and then goes to grab three and nervously drops it in.

"Isn't this going to make it colder than it has to be?"

"Drop four in."

45 minutes pass. You've managed to get up to 28 cubes at a time being dropped in. The water is significantly colder than it was, but to you, it doesn't really bother you all that much, but it is slightly harder to breathe. The look on this guard's face is hilarious. At this point, you had to get another bag to throw ice in.

"W-wait, let me check the temperature. I-if you don't mind." says the guard.

"I don't mind." you say casually.

She checks it with a digital thermometer, and gasps, and is on the verge of tears, but also blushing.

"I-its 64.2 degrees! You shouldn't be that comfortable! This is cruel, please don't make me put any more."

"Put in 34 cubes."

"N-no! I can't let you do thi-"

"52 cubes. The number will just keep getting higher and higher if you resist. I want you to see me squirm." You hear some liquid splash on the ground, and you assume that is just the ice cubes melting from her hooves. Her face is totally red, and has been for the past half hour. You spend the next 10 minutes staring at her, forcing her to count each cube being dropped in. For the last five minutes, you make her stop.

"Since you've been a good pony, you get a belly rub." you say.

"W-what's a belly rub?" she asks.

"You'll see, but you have to trust me. Can you please get on your back for me?"

You've had experience with giving various dogs and ponies belly rubs, and they all loved it nonetheless. Ponies, however, loved it a bit too much. They'd often avoid talking to you for a day or two after you give them the holy belly rub because they were too embarrassed. Why they were embarrassed, you don't know.

The guard, ecstatic that this is over, nods with a sigh of relief, and then slowly gets on her back with her face still beet red. For some reason, her tail is tucked between her legs, covering some of her belly. Sucks for her, less belly to get rubbed. You go to the side of the tub, and you place your hand on the pony's belly.

You start rubbing the belly of the now exposed pone on the ground, earning a few "excited" gasps from her. As you move along, her tongue lolls out by the side of her mouth and her tail relaxes, no longer tucked between her legs. Her eyes go half-lidded, and you think it's safe to say that this pony's mind is in another dimension.

A minute passes, and you can assume that your time is up in the tub, you get out and you grab a towel and dry yourself off, glad that you're no longer in cold water and you got to watch a pony get a belly rub. You grab your clothes that were conveniently folded and placed right by the guard's chair, and put them on. You look back at the poor guard pony, who's mind is still trying to comprehend what had just happened. She's still on the ground, looking up at the ceiling. You walk over to her, but slip on the ground on the water and fall over face first in the puddle of melted ice cubes.


That wasn't melted ice.

After you had waited for the guard to come to, you were hastily rushed back to your "cell" for the night.

"U-um, goodnight, be sure to be asleep by 10 because we have activities tomorrow." said the guard before she locked you in with Bulk Biceps. You look at the clock on the wall, and it appears to be around 8:30. Bulk Biceps was sitting on his bed, watching the TV that was mounted on the wall. You'd guess that there was only news and the cooking channel, because even if it was a jail that coddled the prisoners, they wouldn't give you that freedom.


"You should be asking if the guard survived."


"Never mind. So, what happened after I was taken away?"


You are Bulk Biceps, the most amazing weightlifter in Equestria. Because of a brain injury during a weightlifting session, you couldn't really lower your volume. But, right now that doesn't matter. You're in Ponyville Prison, a horrible place! You got here after you forgot to pay for protein shake mix at the store and resisting arrest. You had thought it was a real accident and you wanted to go back and pay, but you weren't given a chance!

You, uh, might have knocked out a police pony by accident. You ended up getting a 3 week sentence, which at the time was a really long one. You are on your second week, about halfway through.

Your friend, Anon, got in a scuffle with the prison's worst convict called Edge! After Anon completely humiliated him, everyone cheered! But then, guards came out and made you go back inside. You didn't get to see what happened to Anon after, but inside was pure chaos! Ponies were running everywhere, knocking everything over and making a huge mess. Guards were fumbling and trying to get control over them.

They were rushing Edge to the medical room, to make sure he didn't get too hurt. You didn't like that Anon hurt him, you wished they would have talked and hugged it out, but knowing Edge, he had it coming. Helka, your cool griffin friend, came up to you.

"Bulky, can you believe it? Anon just totally ruined Edge's reputation!" piped Helka, dodging a couple of rampant ponies running by.


"That was, like, totally unreal! I couldn't tell if I was going crazy!" Helka looked behind you, causing you to look, too. Your hulking figure accidentally knocked a few ponies out of the way. "Look! They're forcing us back into our cells! Aww, we won't get to stick around and see what happens."


You are rushed back to your cell, and you are told to stay put and watch the TV for a while, because there was an announcement.

"Attention all prisoners, please listen to this or else you'll miss out on the latest announcement! Sadly, due to recent events and a, uh, erm, tussle on the playground, recess will be cancelled for a day or two due to the prison upgrading the security out there." said the announcer on the screen. Oh, man, looks like recess is gonna be gone for a couple of days. You think that's totally worth it, though.

"However, we will be taking volunteer inmates in order to watch over the playground during recess. Be sure you have more than 400 good boy points before you apply, because then we won't take you in for tryouts during the cancelled recess time!"

Today must be your lucky day, because you had 535 good boy points! You finish listening to the rest of the broadcast. After the broadcast ends, you realize that your door has been unlocked, and a guard walks in.

"Hello, Bulk Biceps! Now that everypony is calmed down, we can safely ask for volunteers to be a playground helper. Would you like to volunteer and go to helper class tomorrow?" asks the guard. You smile a huge grin.


You are now Anon, and you had just listened to what Bulk Biceps had just told you.

"You're telling me you're going to volunteer to be a playground tard guard?" you ask.

"YEAH! WAIT, WHAT'S A TARD?" says Bulk Biceps.

"Nevermind. Good for you! Oh, and by the way, how do I check my, erm, good boy points?"


He leads you to a monitor on the wall right by the door. Under it, you see a keyboard of sorts. After Bulk Biceps shows you how to check it by showing you his scores, you follow the same process and type in your name. You have 213 points. This confuses you, because you just got here.


You see a "show point history" button. You press it, and see all the history.

200 points added. Reason: Helped a guard.

You stare at the monitor.

Author's Notes: Remember, if you ever go to jail, find the nearest female cop or guard and touch them in their belly! It's a foolproof way to not get beaten to a pulp and put on a restraining chair! You will see more of the guard that got sent to the 7th dimension of pleasure by Anon's belly rubbing, most likely.

Chapter 4 You sleep throughout the night, not being disturbed at all. Bulk Biceps, despite how big he is, is a very quiet sleeper. Due to the quality of the beds they make you sleep in, you sleep better than you've slept in the 7 months you've spent in this magical pony land. You were surprised when you didn't have a problem at all waking up at 7:00 AM, despite being groggy. They must have put some magic or something in the beds to make you sleep better in here.

You got woken up immediately in sync with Bulk Biceps. This might just confirm your suspicions that there's magic in the beds.

"GOOD MORNING, ANON! TODAY'S GONNA BE A GOOD DAY!" said Bulk Biceps, eloquent as ever.

"Good morning." you say, groggily.

The intercoms flare up about 10 minutes after you wake up.

"Good morning everypony! This is Daycare, we have some fun things planned! Today you can go wherever you like as long as it's on property, except for the playground. Let's try not to talk about what happened yesterday, okay? Some ponies were traumatized and now they have PTSD! So if you could avoid talking about that, that would be appreciated." says Daycare over the intercom. You laughed at that, causing Bulk Biceps to look at you as if you were insane. Back on Earth, you could hardly call that an argument in prison, much less something that gives people shell-shock.

"Please go to the cafeteria at the scheduled times, and we'll all have a fun day today!" the intercom cuts out, and guards then start unlocking all the doors to the cells. You can hear your cell door unlocking. A familiar female guard walks in.

"H-hello Anon!" she says.

Now that you're no longer in a cold delirium, you can see what she looks like. It appears she's a bland sky blue for her coat and a shade of orange for her mane and tail, topped off with orange eyes. For some reason, she has a ponytail for her hairstyle. She also wears the issued guard cap and utility belt.

"Good morning." you reply. Bulk Biceps looks at the guard, waiting for a greeting but he doesn't get one. The guard from yesterday is completely fixated on you.

"U-um, since it's a day where you can go where you like, I-I.." she stammers. She squeaks, pulls out a note from her vest pocket, shoves it in your hands, and zips out of there. Without even thinking about what the note was because you were too tired to give a shit, you just shove it in your pocket.

"WHAT A RUDE PONY. SHE DIDN'T EVEN SAY HI TO ME! OH WELL. LET'S GO TO BREAKFAST." says Bulk Biceps. You shrug, get dressed, and then follow Bulk Biceps to the cafeteria. He sits down by his usual group, and you follow him. The ponies he hangs around were so happy you were there.

"Yesterday was crazy! Good job, Anon! I'd give you my extra naptime, anytime!" says one pony.

You spend the next 5 minutes chit-chatting with the ponies at the table, discussing trivial things (To you, anyways. These ponies take small things way too seriously). A waitress of sorts comes up to the table and asks what kind of tea everyone wants.

"I'LL TAKE THE EXTRA-EXTRA SWEET TEA, WITH 5 LUMPS OF SUGAR PLEASE!" says Bulk Biceps. Everyone at the table asks for the same order, some ordering it with whip cream on it, some with sprinkles on top of the whip cream. Eventually, the waitress comes around to you.

"I'm assuming you'd like the same thing they're having?" she says.

"No thanks, I'd rather have coffee." you reply. You earned a few looks from people from other tables.

"O-oh, uh, what creamer would you like?"

"Creamer? No thanks, I'll pass." You are getting lots of looks from a lot of people in the cafeteria now.

"Wh-what? U-um, okay... how much sugar would you like?" the mare is visibly blushing.

"I just want my coffee nice and black." the cafeteria is completely silent now. The waitress mare is fumbling trying to write your order down, dropping the pen constantly. She's sweating and blushing furiously, obviously either put off or turned on by the fact you're having plain coffee. You're tired of waiting for her to write your order.

"Ugh- come here- no, hand that over. Let me write it." you say. You think you may have heard someone spill a bit of their drink behind the mare. You take the pen, write down "COFFEE - BLACK", and hand her the notepad with the orders. The mare quickly runs back to the kitchen, obviously embarrassed that you ordered coffee. Or was it something else that embarrassed her? The lunch room slowly goes back to talking, but now you think they're talking about you now. Dammit, you had only wanted to get coffee.

Seeing how everyone at your table is shuffling in their seats awkwardly, especially the girls, you scoot down to the end, where you can sit by yourself and think. After a couple of minutes, the same waitress comes back around with everyone's orders. Once she gets to you, you avoid yet another problem by taking the coffee yourself.

"Run along now, I can't have hot coffee spilled on me." you say to the waitress. The waitress is still blushing as she walks off, muttering something about giving you hot coffee in bed, or something along those lines.

You just quietly sip your coffee, reading a newspaper you found on the floor. The noise of everyone chatting drowns out any negative feelings as you read the news. You spend five minutes enjoying yourself and the coffee, that is, until you remembered the note you got from the guard earlier that morning. You pull it out of your pocket, still marveling on how they can trust prisoners with pockets, and unfold it.

The note read as follows:

please meet me in the spa at noon



You think you've had it with these ponies being so loving and carefree, but you're pretty sure there's x's and o's for a reason. You sigh, because your coffee cup is empty and you can't have a guard of all things being in love with you. You'd like to keep the belly rubs as rewards only, but you don't want to be manipulated into giving them. At least you know the guard horse's name, "Sugar."

You turn to a waitress and ask for more coffee, to which she hesitates, nods, and goes to go get some, power walking to get there. Once you have your coffee, you spend another hour just hanging around and taking in the scenery.

You assumed that now was your time to go and do human things elsewhere in the prison, so you got up and went to walk away, but the sight of a dragon that's a little bigger than you makes you fail to notice the puddle of spilled drink on the floor, causing you to slip face first into the puddle.




You get up, wipe your face off with a napkin, and try to forget what had just happened. Thankfully, you were pretty much alone here seeing as everyone left. Back to the scene at hand, you figure. This dragon was being closely watched by about 4 guards, in handcuffs and all. You wonder what a dragon of all things could be here for.

You can safely assume that this dragon is a male, judging by his deep raspy voice. You see that the dragon is a shade of red, with a plain cream belly. Of course, you stop thinking about what the dragon looks like when he rages and tries to break through a wall, nearly setting the building on fire because fire keeps coming out of his nose. You wonder if dragon shouts where actually real in this world.

"We're gonna need a tranquilizer!" yells a guard pony from over there. Moments later, you see a pony come up with a huge ass dart, and shoves the dart right up the dragon's pooper. The dragon falls down, knocked out cold. They carry the dragon down the hall to take him to a room. You get a sense of deja vu. Hopefully you don't encounter the dragon any more.

At around noon, you decide to head up to the spa that the prison has. Why the prison has a spa, you may never know. To you, the spa looks like a pool more than a spa. It has a section off to the side for actual massages and spa things, a huge pool in the middle that's populated with prisoners, and a lot of hot tubs, including the "cold tub" you had used yesterday. Hell, it even has a bar.

You go up to the bar, hoping they'd have anything good.

"Hey." you greet to the bartender, a male pony with a mustache.

"Ey, sonny boy. What can I do ya for?" says the bartender with an accent.

"What do you got?" you ask.

"Our most popular drink's milk right now, but knowing your type, you might like something more extreme. How's a soda sound?"

"Uh, sure." The bartender didn't even give you a chance to say what flavor you wanted. He just grabbed a generic-looking bottle filled with soda that reminded you of clip art. One you opened it up and tasted it, it tasted like Sprite and sugar. You're pretty sure you'd get diabetes if you drank too much of this.

"That'll be 5 good boy points. I'll just take it out of ya account." says the bartender. After he pressed a couple of buttons with his hoof on his computer, he hands you a card.

"Use this. It'll save everypony's time."

You look at the card, and it has your name and picture on it. It reads "GBP Balance Prisoner Card. You just put it in your chest pocket. The bartender looks at you for a moment, then gets back to work. You suppose being human in this place does draw a lot of curiosity. You didn't notice the guard from earlier, Sugar, coming up to sit by you.

"Y-you came! I'm so glad you didn't ignore me like all those- nevermind." the guard, Sugar, says.

Ignoring that last bit she said, you ask her what she wants you here for.

"So, what do you want to discuss with me?" you ask.

"Oh! Let's take this somewhere more private." she says, getting up and motioning for you to follow her. "We should talk about this in your cell. Nopony's likely to hear us there."


Is she trying to get into your pants? You are no horsefucker, but you do appreciate the notion. You shrug and follow her back out of the spa, your soda in hand. As you walk down the hallway, she notices you're drinking soda.

"You're drinking soda? Wow, y-you're so cool!" she pipes.

"I guess so."

You go in your cell, and Sugar follows. Knowing your impending fate, you unbutton your jumpsuit.

"Wh-what are you doing?" asks Sugar. Too bad you aren't fooled.

"Well, is this gonna happen or what?" you say. She's about to fall over.

"What do you mean?" she asks.

"You know.. you were trying to- uh, nevermind."

You re-button your shirt, thankful that she really wasn't trying to get in your pants, but it seems she has something to say. You and Sugar stand there awkwardly while she just realizes what you were implying. She visibly blushes and looks up at your face, wondering if she should state her business or not.

"So, um, I was wondering, if you'd like to make a deal."

"What kind of deal?" you say.

"Well, I give lots of good boy points to your account and you give me lots of belly r-rubs in exchange. Doing these kinds of things might be illegal, but I can't help it."

God dammit.

You are Edge, edgy pony extraordinaire! You were landed in prison because you were cutting yourself in public with safety scissors. Darn those police ponies, darn them from showing your edginess! You were given a whole month for self harm! It's a shame, too. You didn't even break the skin yet. You managed to start a gang of 9 in the prison, and you made your goons give you their good boy points so you can enjoy it here.

However, prison life changed right when somepony showed you who's bo- YOU MEAN cheated and took your power! You are currently in the medical ward, being comforted by two nurse ponies. You may or may not be crying.

"Shh, shh, it's all okay. He's not here to hurt you anymore." coos one of the nurses cuddling you as you sit in your bed. The prison doctor comes around the corner.

"It seems you're all good and ready to go. Edge, you really need to control your impulses! You might get hurt even worse if this behavior keeps up!" exclaims the doctor.

"I know, I know." you say while sniffling.

You get released back into the prison, and back to your cell. You quickly gather up some "supplies" and head out of your cell. After all, it was a day where you could roam freely. You pass some ponies on the way to going to your secret hideout for your gang. Well, secret enough for a pony. It's under a staircase, but surprisingly nopony caught you or your gang there yet.

"Alright, we need to get revenge on this Anon guy." you say to your gang.

"How're we gonna do that, boss?" says one of your gang members.

"With this."

You throw down a few pillows. The gang "oohs" and "aahs" at them.

"What are we gonna do with this?" says another gang member.

"It's simple. We teach 'im a lesson."

You are Anon again, and you can't believe you just agreed to Sugar's deal.

"Oh my goodness, this is gonna be amazing! Can I have my first one right now?" Sugar squeaks out. You sigh. You assume it was worth the 100 good boy points per belly rub. Apparently, you can't cash in more than 100 points a day, because that would raise suspicion. When you figured out that Sugar put in the 200, it was already a stretch.

"Alright. Get on the bed." you say. "Up, up."

Just like a dog, she jumps up the bed and wags her tail. She rolls over on her back and awaits the rubbening. You pull up your sleeve, and prepare to send the pony's mind to another dimension. You place your hand and you start doing your magic.

"Ooooh, yess~!" Sugar hisses out.

Just as you were about to advance even further, the door to the room bursts open. You and Sugar both look up at the door, wide eyed and shocked. You two quickly fumble about in an attempt to hide the deed, but to no avail. Of all the people, Edge runs in with 3 goons with him. They are all holding what looks like really soft pillows.


"What the hell do you think you're doing, poindexter?" you retort. Everyone in the room cringes as you curse, but you think Sugar started to get slightly wet.

"We're here to teach you a lesson!" says Edge. You look at the pillows he and his group are carrying. Could he have wised up and decided to make his own weapon by putting batteries or something in a pillow? Now you might actually be facing a threat.

"Let's get him, boys!" screams Edge as he and his gang charges towards you, again putting no thought into their battle tactics. This allows you to simply step to the side as 4 ponies crash into the wall behind you.

"Ow, you cheater! I'll make you pay!" squeals Edge. You turn to Sugar.

"Stay there! I'll handle them." you say. You turn around, and walk out the door, leaving Edge and his gang shocked. While they are too focused on wondering why you just left, you hide behind the door on the other side.

"Boss, shouldn't we get 'im?" you hear a gang member say.

"Yeah, let's go find him!" you hear Edge say. You see Edge and his gang run out the door, and somehow go the exact opposite direction of you. You rest your face in your palm as you walk back in to your room. You look at Sugar, who was still laying on your bed awaiting the rubbing of the belly. You turn around, lock the door, and go back to the guard pone on the bed.

"Do I get extra points for being nonviolent or something?"

Author's Notes: I never expected this story to be a smash-hit. Seriously, I've racked up over 600 favorites in one day. "IT'S A MASTERPIECE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I'M A FFFFFUCKIN' MILLIONAIRE!"

  • videogamedunkey, 2013

Chapter 5 After giving Sugar a rub of the bellies and having to change your bed sheets, you sit awkwardly in the cafeteria with her.

"So, like I had asked, do I get extra points for being nonviolent?" you ask.

"The higher-ups are definitely gonna love that you chose be be peaceful, so I think that earns you about 50. I really think you're coming around Anon!" says Sugar.

So long as you keep her from suspecting anything wrong about you. You can't have these ponies know anything about your own world's prisons, and how they work. You look over to Sugar. She has a juice box and is currently smiling and staring onward with a content look on her face. She looks at you, blushes, then looks away, sipping at the juice box a little harder.

Good thing you're not an oblivious Anon, because you have a fucking brain and can tell that this pony is head-over-heels for you. You think to yourself, maybe, just maybe you can abuse this for a little bit while you're here. You hope you don't get caught and eventually turned into a super criminal, but hey, pony prison is dumb. The higher ups and guards who aren't Sugar shouldn't be suspicious of anything, seeing how ponies are very easy to sway and trick. Time to have fun with pone.

"Hey, Sugar. Why do you like belly rubs so much?" you ask to the pony who is clearly flustered to be around you.

"W-well, your hands are so~... ngh.."

Is this pony for real right now? She's getting turned on by the thought of your hand. You then decide to play a dirty joke on the poor pony. You then make a "come hither" motion with your index finger. She leans in.

"Do you always come when I finger you?" you say.

You then regret saying that as you regret hearing a blip blip blip noise as not-water hits the floor.

Meanwhile, as you walk back to your "cell", you encounter the dragon from earlier. He's walking around holding a teddy bear. You nearly laugh, but you notice him looking at you so you decide against' laughing at the only real threat within a 1,000 mile radius.

"Hey there, pretty boy. Is something funny?" says the dragon, in a deep, raspy voice.

"No! Uh, not at all. Don't murder me in my sleep, thank you." you say as you just walk on by. You power walk the fuck out of there once you hear the dragon chuckling a bit. Once you get back to your cell, you see Bulk Biceps there lifting a couple of weights excitedly.

"Hey. what's got you so excited?" you say.

"TODAY IS WORKOUT DAY! OH YEAH! YEAH!" screams the muscle pony.

"Really? I don't see anyone else working out."

Just then, the intercom flares up, with a familiar female voice saying an announcement.

"Good afternoon, my little ponies! Today we're going to be having "Exercise Fun Day" today! Be sure to bring all your proper gear and if you don't have any, please ask a guard for new issue workout gear. A guard will be coming to your cell to pick you up shortly. Have fun!"

"Strange how they organize these things so well." you say.

"YEAAAAAAAAAH!" bursts Bulk Biceps.

As expected, shortly enough, a guard knocks on the cell door.

"It's a cell. You're a guard. Come in." you say.

Sugar walks in. She's anticipating something, you can tell that because she was half-biting her lip as she walked in.

"W-well, Anon, it's time to go to Exercise Fun Day. Do you know what that is?"

"Um, no. I don't. Care to explain?" you say.

"It's basically on every Wednesday, we all go out to have a little exercise for the rest of the day. A lot of ponies don't like it.. but we have to do it." Sugar says. Exercise? You remember back in the day... before your prison time you used to be extremely fit. You don't remember why, though. Ever since you were in this magical horse land, you don't remember much of what your life was back on Earth

"Huh. Can't wait. Maybe now I can start on my dream body." you say.

"W-what? You actually want to work out? Oh my, it's too hard to even lift a single weight... it's really scary because I might embarrass myself."

"So... why does everyone in this world look very fit for their own kind?"

"Oh, that's easy! We make our gym stuff magically enchanted so that we only have to do it once every year! It saves a lot of time."

You couldn't believe what you heard. Basically, what Sugar is telling you right now is that since nobody wanted to man up and put a lot of effort into getting fit, they'd rather not take responsibility and just cheat?

"Where's the commitment?"

"C-commitment? That's a long word. Oh! We need to get going! Please get your friend and I'll lead you two to where the gym is." said Sugar, hastily.

You figured out that Bulk Biceps was the only pony here who knew hard work. Sure, you may have thought that he did kinda overdose on the 'roids, but it turns out he knows a lot about keeping in shape. This is why he chose to eat the "healthy" option with you at lunch a few days back. Sure, it was limited knowledge because he was a horse and all, but still. At least he put in the time and the notion to do so.

From what you can see, the gym is basically a huge-ass basketball gymnasium, with a few side-rooms with weights, a pool, and a dodgeball game. The ponies didn't really do anything exercise related. For fun, you manage to get a pony to run around for you to see how fit they really are. The pony who you got to run was tired after 10 seconds. So much for magical weights.

After just a half hour, you're getting sick of all these ponies just laying around on their asses. You remember something fuzzy about a guy who led a bunch of other men to run, which made you feel suddenly inspired. You sit down. This was one of the few times when you regain your memory. You rub your temples with your fingers.

Come on.. come on. Where did I come from? you think.

This was a rare moment like the other times you regained little bits and pieces of your memory. After about a couple months being here in this pony world, you remembered your friends and family. You also remembered that you came out of jail recently. You were told by the pony who accidentally brought you here that you may have some memory loss and you may have a tough time remembering things from your past life, but it'll all eventually come.

Then you remember the United States flag. Then, an eagle in scarlet and gold.

Then it hits you. Of course! You now knew why you were extremely fit with a reason now! How could you forget? The realization hits you like a train going full speed ahead, you nearly cry when you remembered.

You are Sugar. You work at the Ponyville local prison! You know an amazing being with such silky appendages. This being you like has a name, and that name is Anon. You're currently watching over him as he's on the verge of tears. Oh no! What's wrong? Did something upset him? No... it was about time 'til he broke out of his shell. You're happy for him!

You decide to go over to Anon to give him a hug.

"Aaaaanon, is something the matter~?" you say, a little more singy-songy than you wanted. Oh well. As long as you're there to help him.

"I... remember." says Anon, as he looks up at everypony.

"Um, Anon? Are you okay? Let me give you a hug-"

Of course, you're interrupted as he gets up, knocking you back into a crowd of ponies taking a nap. Anon then cackles manically. Everypony is looking at him by now. You can somehow feel impending... danger as he looks around, with his grin turning into a very grim scowl.

"IT'S TIME TO DO SOME RUNS FOR THE MARINE CORPS! OORAH!" screams Anon as he starts to run laps around the gym. Has he lost his mind? It seems like he's suddenly... well, inspired. It kind of makes you feel like running and doing something great. First, he started with one lap. Then, he went for two laps. Then, he went for 3 laps. After about an hour, ponies were watching Anon run.

"Look at him go!"

"How does he do that?"

"I want him to slip in my love~!"

Ponies, males and females alike were getting turned on by Anon's running skills. You had to admit, you could feel a little moisture down... there as he ran. But, what is a "Marine Core"? Is it a central whale or something?

"Oh my gosh, Sugar. You get to keep watch on him? You lucky gal." says one of your fellow guards, another female.

"Yeah. You must be pretty lucky to get an inmate like him~!"

You feel yourself getting flustered as you're getting swarmed by all these jealous mares, and you can smell the sexual frustration flowing through their bodies, and even in yours. Who was going to bang the monkey first? You, of course. You were going to make sure of that.

You are Anon, former Lance Corporal in the Marine Corps. Thankfully to the gym, you have remembered a part of your life. Now, you're one step closer to remembering why you went to jail and how you came here. It's been a question that's been nagging in your mind, of course, you were told that there was a magical accident, but there is something real fishy going on in here. Especially that the prison is the equivalent to a morning preschool, or just anything that isn't Parris Island. But, you digress.

You were doing runs. Not just any runs, but runs in the remembrance of the Marine Corps you were in. You lost track of time when you were running, for it seemed the memories just kept in flowing, like that first time you got hazed by a drill instructor. Good times.

Now that you remembered that you were in fact a jarhead and you went through shit that's impossible to imagine according to ponies, you decide to stop after 3 hours of running at a constant pace. You now notice that the ponies got tired from watching you running themselves, so they sat on the bleachers so they don't feel tired anymore. The girls sat closest to you, and you could swear you smelt something funny in the air.

"I'm done for runs. Good afternoon, everyone." you say as you go back to your cell on your own.

"He's going to go back on his own? What a dreamer!" you hear one pony say.

A lot of mares swoon over you as you walk by them, and you can see Sugar standing at the doorway.

"The day is just about over, so I will get to take you back to your room. Also, you earn extra good boy points for actually exercising! You may have inspired a few ponies." said Sugar, with a happy look on her face.

"That's what marines tend to do." you say.

"Oh yeah, what is a "marine core?" is it something like a underwater creature?"

"Don't mind it."

You can't have anyone find out that you're actually trained to be a killer. That would be bad.

"O-ok." Sugar stammers, then she looks around awkwardly for a second, and then leads you back to your room/cell.

Later that night, you lie in bed, wondering what's going to happen tomorrow, or the next few weeks. You hope that no one finds out what your world is really like, especially after you mention your beloved Marine Corps.

Bulk Biceps is sleeping soundly, a lot quieter than you'd imagine. He's actually a very quiet sleeper, contrary to what most people may think about him. It seems the louder ones are the quietest some times.

You let your mind wander off, and eventually you're graced with the nice onset of sleep.

Too bad you didn't know someone was about to watch your dreams.

Author's Notes: weekly to bi-weekly updates k :^)

Chapter 6 You are Princess Luna. You do not wish to comment on how you appear to the audience because chances are they already know what you look like anyways, and you don't want to feel lonely knowing the fact that there is no audience and you're just thinking this all in your head. Tonight, you're back on dream duty! Most ponies have been having good dreams so far, because you've been paying special attention to them and making sure that nopony ever gets hurt by a nightmare.

What was your spookiest nightmare? Another pony got scared by a clown, and you're not sure what the deal is with clowns and ponies but your subjects do not like them. The spooky part about it was that the poor thing nearly died! The clown, you mean. The clown was being attacked by a mob of angry ponies because he appeared in their dreams again.

Aside from that, your subject have very sensible dreams that have a plot and ending. You've never seen any dream that's been pure chaos because of a result of the brain losing logical power- that'd be horrific! In those dreams, you're unsure whether it's a nightmare or not!

You go to your bed, preparing to check and see if anypony is going to have any bed time troubles tonight. You make sure to tuck yourself in, even if you're going to be in there for an hour or so. Being a part-goddess means you get to stay up all night, making you cool with the edgy crowd. Sadly, it hasn't gotten you a good rutting in about one thousand and three years, but that's another story.

When you've made sure that you're all set and ready to go, you cast the spell to make you enter the dream world. You're then transported to a white space with doors everywhere.

"Ah, how we love being here." you say to yourself. You're no longer lonely because you have literally everypony in Equestria to visit at night.

Oh, look! Another nightmare! A door that you can hear moans of pain from outside of it. Occasionally, you hear the door being bumped on as something rams into it from time to time. It's time to go see what hidden meaning is in this one. As you look closer at it, you're unsure of who it belongs to. You decide to look into it. You're always prepared to see the unexpected, because you've pretty much seen everything there is to see.

You open the door, to find a pony... oh my. You see a pony forcing herself on that Anonymous fellow that was transported here by accident a while back.

"No! I'm not a horse fucker! Don't do this!" screams Anon as he's backing away from the mare. You slightly cringe at the curse, but you continue to look on.

"Come on, Anon! Give me your hot monkey dick!" says the pony, who you notice is in a guard's uniform. The uniform is like one found in Ponyville's prison. Now that you think of it, you're seeing Anon in a prison cell! This makes no sense!

"Good thing I have my concealed carry permit!" says Anon. He reaches behind his back, but it seems like time has slowed down for him in particular.

"Haha! You can't escape me now. I injected something in you from the first time we met. Now you're all mine." says the pony.

"Oh no, shit shit shit shit what am I going to do?" says Anon.

You resist the urge to back out of the door and just walk away from all the cursing, but then you notice that this wasn't a nightmare at all. You can feel the sexual tension between Anon and the pony. Heck, the atmosphere didn't even have a gloomy, daunting nightmare vibe to it. D-did Anon have a rape fetish?

"O-oh my, h-how lewd." you mutter to yourself, quietly. Since there's nothing else to do, you make yourself invisible and just watch to see what happens.

For the next 5 minutes you witness Anon partake in acts that usually only married couples do. You didn't even know there were more than 2 positions! This was incredible! You hoped your sister didn't find out that you may have been touching yourself to this. N-not like you were, anyways. You've always wondered what... Anon looked like.

You wondered why these two have been going at it for 14 minutes and counting. When does it end? It turns out that the tables have turned now that the guardspony was now limp as a rag doll as Anon took total control over her-

"Get out of here stalker." Anon said, looking directly at you. You now feel like you have awoken a beast as he walks over to you, completely naked.

"My hand is now a fist ball. Please look at it's amazing wonders." said Anon as he raised his hand, only for you to find out that there is no hand.

"Anon? Y-you're asleep, you know that, right?" you said, trying to get him to come back. This dream took a turn for the worse as you now realized that your invisibility spell isn't working here. It seems his mind is limiting your powers.

"I AM COMPLETELY AWAKE! SEE, I EVEN HAVE 4 FINGERS TO PROVE IT!" Anon screams as he holds up his arm, which has a human foot poking out of it now.

"Anonymous! Have you gone mad?" you try to say to him, but it seems that he's consoling the pony from earlier.

"Do not worry, he will not get you. I don't promise." he says, occasionally looking back at you with a menacing glare. The pony turned into a literal rag doll at this point.

"Why are you alive? Shouldn't you be dead now?" he says right after some clothes appear on him. "You linger, and I anger. But now I hunger. HA HA HA!"

You now realize that he's trying to catch you now. He lunges for you, and narrowly misses and goes straight through the floor like a ghost. There wasn't even any damage to the floor, he just passed through it like water.

"A-Anon?" you squeak.

"WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, PRIVATE?" you hear a voice call out from behind you. This caused you to feel fear for the first time in years. You turn around to find a human, like Anon, but this one is wearing a green uniform.



"S-sir yes sir!" you say, not realizing that you are being controlled by the dream.


"SIR, YES SIR!" you shout at your Royal Canterlot Voice.






The mean human grabs you, and then proceeds to throw you through the walls and into the sky. You are now trying to gain muscle control.

Once you've regained control, you extend your wings and start to fly frantically. You needed to get to the exit, fast! You don't know what horrible things lie in here, and that's coming from you, Princess Luna! You fly around, and then you hear weird vrrrr-ing noises. Then you realize that you're in the middle of a crowd of flying metal birds! What makes it worse is that they're making loud boom noises!

You then feel like you got bit in your wing, and as you look to your right wing, you notice that it's riddled with fleshy holes!

"AAAAAGH! OH NO NO NO NO NO, THIS CAN'T BE! I'M SEEING BLOOD!" You scream as you start to fall. How can this be? You've been defeated! You then feel something begin to rise up from your stomach, as a whole fire-hose worth of puke spews out of your mouth.

"WHARRGARBL" is all you manage to get out as you're puking your guts out while you draw closer and closer to the ground.

Then you hear Anon's voice.

"Take this, you sucker for a fucker while your ass is now a pucker!" screams Anon as he comes up from the ground to give you the most painful uppercut in the history of Equestria, right in the marehood.

"Cunt punch! Oorah!" shouts Anon.

You're now lying on the ground, unsure of what your body is leaking, as Anon makes a strange tribal dance to this futuristic music that's playing in the background.

"Daryl Hall and John Oates, mother fucker!" screams Anon right in your face, to make your agony even worse.

All you feel is pain. And suffering. You feel like dying for the first time. But, then you realize that it's just a dream. You weren't feeling any pain to begin with, you're just rolling around on the ground in the middle of a field while Anon dances.

"Get this guy, outa the sky." says Anon as he picks you up and throws you out of his dream.

You wake up with a gasp, as the sudden realization dawns upon you that Anon's dreams are pure chaos! You have never seen the likes of anything close to that your whole life!

You wet your bed. You sigh, get out and take the sheets off to get them cleaned. You can't believe you peed in the bed agai-

"Wait. This isn't our pee! This is..." you trail off. "Oh, horsefeathers."

You are Anon, and you had a good nights rest! You wake up, feeling reinvigorated. You stand up, and salute the non-existing American flag right by your bed. You think you had a pretty good dream, but you can't remember. All you know is that you woke up with another boner and you can't really remember what happened. You then notice Bulk Biceps getting up.

"IT'S TIME TO BE A GOOD BOY TODAY! YEAH!" says Biceps in his ever-so-charming voice.

"You bet it is. I'm going to be at the gym, I need to do some runs." you say.


"Yesterday was my warm up." you say, ignoring whatever Bulk Biceps has to say now. Then you hear the intercom flare up.

"Good morning, my little ponies! Today we're going to play some games after recess, so be sure to stick around for that! Other than that, it should be a regular schedule for today." said the intercom pony.

"Games? What games?" you ask Bulk Biceps.


You wonder what kinds of games these ponies would be doing. You hope it's nothing too horrifyingly cute or cuddly, but then again you hope for some good ol' classic American dodgeball. You wondered if ponies could even throw a damn ball.

You've been aching for a way to torment these ponies without getting in any extra trouble or having to be bribed for belly rubs.

"Hey, do they make us play dodgeball?" you ask.


You just laugh to yourself. These ponies haven't even thought of getting any foam balls to throw with, you'd assume they'd do that at least. Maybe even make an excuse so nobody gets hurt by a simple ball. You were going to teach these ponies how to work as a team, and you're going to have all the fun while you do it, too.

Author's Notes: this reminds me of a dream that i had where twilight sparkle and celestia were in a tower and there were platforms "these platforms are ones made from leftover penises!" twilight said "wonderful, twilight." said celestia oh yeah and shrek was on a floor, he was laying eggs with fiona

Chapter 7 You are Anon. You are currently walking with Bulk Biceps to the cafeteria because for unknown reasons room service isn't available. You wonder why room service in a fucking prison of all places would even be available in the first place. Walking through the hallway, you notice Helka, the griffon from earlier a few days back, is coming up to you.

"Heya Anon, I hear you're getting quite the reputation!" she says, beginning to walk with you and Bulk Biceps. Biceps waves at her.

"I didn't even do anything all that great. What'd I do this time?" you reply.

"Are you, like, kidding? You've beaten up one of the worst b-bullies here and you exercised! I hear you survived that cold therapy they had! Man, I would have been totally uncomfortable. You're the new talk of the prison!"

"I didn't know having a backbone and being somewhat hardened would be all that impressive. This place is like a kindergarten." you say. You just walk on, leaving Helka and Bulk Biceps standing there. Why they stopped, you don't know, and you don't care. You're loving the shit out of being here, sure, but you're just starting to get annoyed. Now you see why being here for a month is so bad, the people here are like children!

"Where's a good ass raping when I need one..." you mutter to yourself. Unfortunately, a pony was right by you in the hallway when you said it. She stops, and then stares at you as you keep walking. You didn't notice how she was frustrated when you were more interested in donkeys than ponies. You also didn't notice how she puked right after when you said rape.

You make it to the cafeteria. You get to the table, where the ponies you sat with before are. You're then swarmed with mares at the table asking if you were single.

"You know, there's a nice place we can go to in the prison for a daaaate~!" says one.

"Please rut me. I'm lonely." says another.

"I heard you give these things called "belly rubs", can you give me a demonstration?" says yet another.

You try to ignore all these ponies harassing you. After 10 minutes, Helka and Bulk Biceps get to your table. They casually throw off the ponies sitting by you, and take their seats.

"THIS IS MY SEAT, SEAT HOG!" says Bulk Biceps. The pony who took his seat apologized profusely, and then found the closest seat to you elsewhere. Helka doesn't say anything, and raises her ring talon to the pony who took her seat. You looked at Helka. These damn horse people, well, lion bird people can't even flip the bird right. You wish that was a pun.

"What are you trying to do, flip the bird? I'm out of here." you say. You get a few protests from Bulk Biceps and Helka, but you say no and leave. You walk up and go to another, near-empty table where the dragon is. Maybe you can find a nice occupation as a prison bitch here, with the dragon. It would be a lot better than horses hitting on you.

"Hey." you say, trying not to get raped immediately. The dragon from earlier looks up at you, then looks down back at his dragon equivalent of hands, twiddling his thumbs.

"Hey." the Dragon replies, in a kind-of hushed tone.

"So, what are you in here for?" you ask. The dragon looks up at you, apparently he may have thought you had the mentality of a pony. Apparently, ponies don't talk a lot about prison even when they're locked up.

"Sleeping in an apple farm. Apparently I burnt half of it down, but I'm only 484 years old! I'm still a teen! I shouldn't get this harsh of a punishment," the dragon says, opening up a little. "It's only a week, though. Beats paying for a bunch of trees."

"I'm in here for cursing out a pony. Really. It's ridiculous, and I have to spend a month here for it." you say.

The Dragon looks at you.

"A month? Geez. That's a lot for just cursing someone out." the dragon says. You're relieved to find another sensible being in this ungodly world. But, something he said caught you off guard.

"Wait, did you just say someone?" you say, catching the dragon off-guard.

"Uh, yeah? What's the deal about it?"

"All the ponies here put "pony" into their words. It's odd, but they acted like it was normal and couldn't be slightly off-putting for anything else that's not a pony. I got bitched at for saying someone." you say. You'd expect the dragon to cringe when you said "bitching", but he looked at you as if nothing was wrong at all.

"It's a pony thing. All the other countries, save for the griffins, use "one" in their pronouns. Everyone in the other countries think that it's brainwashing imposed on the ponies." the dragon says.

"Odd. Back home in my world, mind control wasn't possible. We didn't have magic." you say.

"Most other countries don't, too. Equestria is really behind in technology compared to all the other places. Dragons being the only exception, we don't need it all that much."

"Huh, interesting. By the way, what's your name?" you ask.

"Name's Tiger. I was named it after about 50 years because I was a lot more dangerous than the other dragons." says Tiger.

"My name's Anonymous. People, uh, ponies call me Anon for short. I was named it because my parents didn't like stories in which humans have names because it gives away a lot of the ability for readers to relate to the main character."

"Nice. So, you can curse too without having a mental breakdown? Nobody in here likes that at all."

You spend the rest of breakfast with Tiger, enjoying some coffee. Apparently dragons are sensible folks who aren't under mind control. You wish you had your tinfoil hat, but since you were associated with your country's government to start, it was frowned upon for a marine to wear one anyways. You don't want to tell Tiger you're a trained killer because you're not sure what would happen.

Tiger apparently is a good pony ward because ponies don't like dragons all that much, so you can finally get some peace and quiet. You hope you don't look like a badass because you managed to befriend the only dragon within a 2,000 mile radius, save for that baby dragon at the library.

Breakfast eventually passes, and everyone is ushered out of the cafeteria to the first recess. You're back on the playground, and you walk over to the swings to sit on them for a little bit. You then get a funny idea.

"I'm totally going to try to do a flip." you say. Then you start swinging. You eventually get to 10 feet above ground, and a crowd of ponies have gathered around you. Sugar, your assigned tard guard, comes up and gasps at the sight of you doing this.

"Anon! You're not allowed to swing more than 4 feet above ground! Stop that now!" she frantically says.

"What are you going to do? You're not my mom!" you shout, a little more childish than you intended. Sugar backs down, muttering something about those cursed sexy beasts. The ponies that are gathered around chant and cheer for you, as you hit the 15 foot mark.

"WATCH THIS!" you scream as you make one more stressful push, and you swing to the 180 degree point, and you successfully make the loop. Everyone is going batshit crazy as you did the loop. You then stop the swing from swinging, and get off.

"That was fun. I used to do that at elementary." you say to yourself. Sugar comes up to you, tears in her eyes.

"P-Please don't do that ever again! You could've went to sleepy land forever!" Sugar sobs into you, as she hugs you. The ponies, now bored, then go off to do more horse things.

"Sugar. Look at me." you say. She looks up to you, hesitantly.

"I ain't afraid of death." you say. She is completely shocked, and is frozen stiff as you position her to give her a public belly rub. You only rub her for about 30 seconds, and then you walk off. She was limp, and lied there for 5 minutes.

You wander around the playground, looking for something to do. You get multiple invitations to play with a bunch of ponies, but you declined them. You're looking for underground shit that may be going on. Sadly, you don't find anything going on so you decide to go sit in one of the odd yellow tubes they have lying around for people to go in and just sit.

You crawl in one, to find a rather "pretty" looking pony. By pretty you mean make up slopped across the pony's face.

"Hey there, stud. You looking for a good time?" says the girl pony.

"What do you mean?" you say. You hoped there would be some prison action going on, but you were let down day after day.

"Let me show you." the pony says. She then shuffles over to you and hugs you.

"You like that, big boy?" she says. You only laugh in her face.

"What was that?" you say. "Are you trying to sleep with me or something?"

The pony looks at you.

"Is that an invitation? I know a lot of ponies who are willing to give away their complementary cupcake to get with you." she says. Not sure what she's going to do, you just sit there to see what she'll do.

You get out of the tube. You didn't imagine that the pony equivalent of prostitution was cuddling with someone for 10 minutes.

"Come back any time, stud! You're always welcome with me." says the prostitute-pony. You sigh.

You wonder what there is to do other than illegal cuddles. You then notice a group of ponies playing truth or dare. Deciding to shake things up, you go over there.

"Hey, mind if I join?" you say. The ponies then make a spot for you in the circle.

"Glad to have you here with us, Anon!" says Helka. Apparently she likes to play truth or dare.

The game goes by, ponies asking stupid stuff and rarely ever doing dares. Then it comes to you.

"Anon, truth or dare!" says Helka. Everyone looks at you.

"Truth, I guess." you say.

"Um, alright. Who do you like?" she says with a shit-eating grin. The ponies make some "ooo" noises. You look at her accusingly.

"Really? I've been here for a few days. I'm not sure if I like anyone yet." you say.

"No! I mean, uh, like like." she says.

"Oh. I'm not sure." you say.

"Then, who would you cuddle with?" she asks.

"I'd totally do some inappropriate cuddling with the guard called Sugar, if you know what I mean." you say without hesitation. Everyone blushes, apparently they're way too innocent. Time to ruin their innocence.

"Alright, Helka. Truth or dare?" you spout. Helka was surprised at this, and hesitated.

"Oh sweet Celestia! We got a bounceback!" says a pony.

"U-uh, d-dare!" says Helka.

"OH CELESTIA! HERE WE GO!" says another pony.

"I dare you to touch me, inappropriately."

The ponies are shocked. They look at Helka, expectantly.

"Come on, do it! I had dreams about this!" says a pony. Helka is shaking.

"I-I um, o-ok."

She shuffles awkwardly towards you, and puts her talon on your shoulder.

"Lower." you say. She gulps, shaking and blushing profusely. Her talon is now on your chest. Her breathing gets heavy as she stares at her talon.

"Lower." you repeat. She is trembling by now, her talon feeling your belly.

"I-it's so defined." she says, sperging out.

"Lower." you repeat yet again, and she stares at you as if you were crazy.

"I-I-I uh," she sputters out. You lean into her ear, while the ponies are staring in anticipation.

"I know you like this. Now lower it down so we don't have any trouble." you whisper. She is beet red by now. She stares at her talon, and it's shaking too. She slowly begins to lower down right above your nether region.

"Do it." you whisper again. Her talon briefly brushes little Anon, and then she leaps back to her spot in the circle, and curls up in a ball of eagle fluff and cat. The ponies are all breathing heavily and laughing nervously.

"Amazing." you hear a pony say. You put your arm back to support your weight because sitting criss-cross was getting tiring. Sadly, your hand feels wet and you don't even want to think about it. You visibly show disgust as you wipe your hand on a pony right by you. You question whether it was worth it to fuck with Helka.

"What did you just wipe on me?" says the pony.

The game goes on for another couple minutes. After the game of truth or dare, you hear whistles going on in the distance.

"Everypony back inside! We're going to do one of the activities planned today!"

"Hell yes. Teamwork time." you say to yourself as you jog over inside. You leave the group of ponies and one mortified griffin in your dust, disregarding any goodbyes. You're put in a single file line as you go inside.

"We're going to be playing dodgeball, so everypony play nice!"

Author's Notes: Ponies are going to get pummeled next chapter. Stay tuned! I'm rolling out updates as fast as I can before my break ends, and then you'll get yer weekly updates.

Chapter 8 After about 10 minutes, you were transported to the gym that everyone was forced to "exercise" in. The more you walk around in this place, the more it reminds you of a middle school, except with dorms. You see an array of 30 foam balls, each colored differently as if it were a rainbow. You were told to sit in the bleachers with everyone else, so that the guards could explain the rules to everyone.

"Can everypony settle down, please? I'm here to tell you all the rules." says an oldish looking guard pony, standing in front of everyone in the bleachers. As if on cue, everyone quiets down and listens intently.

"First off, if you want to play dodgeball, please come down here."

You get up, and go to the middle of the gym, along with some familiar faces like Tiger and Bulk Biceps. About 40 people got down to the floor.

"Now, we're going to need two team leaders! If you want to be the leader, please raise your hoof!" says the old guard.

Nobody raises any appendage. You raise yours.

"Ah, Anon! Glad to see you're willing to be a good volunteer, I'll be sure to give you some good boy points. Please stand by me, ok?"

You stand by the guard pony.

"Alright, is anypony else interested in being a team leader?" pipes the guard, thankful that someone actually volunteered. Since the ponies on the floor saw your amazing display of initiative, you see quite a few arms/legs raised into the air. Tiger apparently got the guard's attention, so the guard chose him to be the opposing force, much to your demise. You thought to yourself, that you were gonna be fucked royally.

"Now, you must choose your teams! Tiger, you get to go first." says the guard pony.

"I choose the bulky pony right there." the dragon mutters, as he points over to Bulk Biceps. Fuck, you were hoping you would at least get one strong person on your team. Five minutes pass, and the teams are selected. You got the griffin, Helka, on your team at least. You weren't so sure about her throwing abilities, but you hoped that griffins could at least be some help. The rest of your team are some assorted ponies you randomly chose from the crowd. Most being girls, by your luck. You didn't notice how odd wet sounds came from their seats as the ponies you chose got up.

Tiger's team consisted of Bulk Biceps and some other assorted ponies. You expected the "normal" ponies were to be just pawns who took the hits for Tiger. Bulk Biceps could also be a dangerous target, considering how fucking huge his biceps are. He must be able to throw these balls insanely fast.

The enemy you were most focused on is Tiger. It seems since you were pretty much the only useful person on your team, you would have to pull a cowardly move and play as if you're the only person on your team. Right now, your team mates do not exist. You are completely focused on eliminating the threat through any means available. You feel a sudden wave of motivation well up inside you.

"Okay, are all the teams chosen? Good! This is the first time in a while that we've had full teams. I hope nobody gets hit too hard." says the old lady guard from earlier. A whistle is blown, and the game began.

You're not sure what just happened, but your entire team went to the back of the gym on your side, and just stood there awkwardly. The same happened for Tiger's team. You were surprised at the fact that Bulk Biceps didn't even want to play. Only Tiger remained in the front lines, along with you. Tiger then picked up a ball. You picked up two, and went back to the middle of the field.

Tiger rears his arm back, and throws the fastest ball in the history of balls to be thrown. You only have a moment to dodge, and the ball nearly grazed your face by five millimeters. You return with throwing your two grabbed balls in a rapid burst fire, thanks to your muscular arms and quick reaction time. Tiger grabs a ball off the ground, however, and deflects both balls using the ball.

You're more pissed at the fact that your own men would abandon you.

"Would someone get off their ass and fucking help me here you dumb cunts?!" you scream at your selected team. Something clicks inside of the brains of all involved, and a few join you out on the field.

Tiger, however, didn't like this, and grabbed a few balls that were still left in the middle of the gym. He then threw them to his team and told them to get moving.

Thus begins the great Battle of the Doggle Ball.

You are Lance Corporal Anonymous, and you're in the middle of a large firefight. You were one of multiple squads out defending your little base you had out here in the desert. Everyone took a defensive position, with you and your squad behind some hills and in fighting holes. You were one of the unlucky bastards who managed to get in a fighting hole. Being in Afghanistan sucked, there was no pussy, no toilets, and worst of all, there was only dirt. Yes, oh how you loved it out here where everything was perfect. Rocks are so comforting under your iso mat! Fucking terrorists are advancing to your men's position, and nobody is doing anything. Other squads in other fighting holes and hills are doing their part, holding most of these assholes off but there seems to be an insanely disproportionate amount of enemies.

Unfortunately for you, you were out of ammo for your rifle, and there weren't any 5.56 round canisters around. You were down to your pistol with only 2 spare magazines. Your heart skips a beat. Could it all end here?

"Hey, someone spare me a mag! I can't shoot them from this distance with a fucking Beretta!" you holler. There wasn't anyone answering your call. Other squads were too far away from you, and getting over to them for some help would mean certain death as you would be out of cover. You fire off a few stray rounds from your pistol in the general direction of the enemy, and you turn around after ducking behind cover again. A stray rocket from the enemy side hits the squad closest to you, about thirty meters away. You reel from the shock wave, and all that remains from where it hit was a huge cloud of dust, obscuring any sight to any survivors in the rubble.

"Would someone get off their ass and fucking help me here you dumb cunts?!" you scream at your fellow men. They may be your same rank, some higher, but god dammit you weren't going to be killed by any sand monkeys. You'll give out orders to higher ups any day if it means your men live.

You then spot your NCO dragging your squad away from the fight and into a nearby humvee. It takes you a moment to realize what your NCO is doing.

That asshat's taking your squad away from the fight and leaving you out here!

The only thing you feel right now is betrayal. It's as if a filter was placed on top of your hearing, and only the muffled sounds of gunshots in the distance and the footsteps of your men and the fucking officer were the things you could hear. You now feel anger, instead of betrayal.

You weren't going to let your men abandon you on the field, and you weren't going to let your officer get away with it.

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT COCK SUCKING BASTARD! NOT EVEN THE FUCKING COMMANDANT WILL SAVE YOU!" you scream. Disregarding all the gunfire coming towards your position, you jump out of your fighting hole and dash towards your NCO who's taking your men out of the fight and leaving the rest of these men out here to get overwhelmed and die.

Pistol in hand, you get close to ten feet away from your NCO and blindly fire at him in a fit of rage. His right arm gets blown to bits, and you're pretty sure his legs are crippled now. Sadly for you he wasn't mortally wounded. You jump on him while he's on the ground and start punching him.


It took 5 marines to get you off him, and they all start beating you too. You're disarmed as well, no pistol or M4, no knife. Your men really don't trust you.

"GET BACK OUT THERE, NOW! DON'T LEAVE THEM ALL TO DIE! PLEASE!" you scream while on the ground.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, ANONYMOUS! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" shouts another one of your men in the face.


You're dragged in the Humvee, and thrown in the back. Bloodily beaten, with what eyesight you still have, you look out the window and watch as everyone still fights.


The gym was heated. Everyone in the stands were amazed to see you grab a ball and throw it so hard that when it hit one of the ponies, the said pony was sent flying back and cracked the cement wall. The crowd went wild.

"THAT'S FOR AFGHANISTAN!" you shout. One of the ponies on your side throws a ball, but was too weak and the ball only traveled ten feet before dropping harmlessly on the floor.

"What's an aff-ganee-stan? And why does he keep shouting traitors?" says a pony in the stands.

Back in the stands, Sugar is explaining to the other older guard that she should let the cursing slide this once. The older guard sheepishly agrees, but only because your prowess with foam balls of dodge is too great.

One of the enemy ponies throws a ball at you, and you catch it midair. A whistle blows, signalling that the pony is out. Tiger comes from the side and throws another ball at you. You look at the incoming ball with menace, and grab it, but the force of the ball was too strong, and you were sent sliding on your feet back about three feet. The sound of screeching rubber from your shoes fills your ears. Tiger looks at you with incredulity.

"How the heck did you catch that? That would normally sent anyone else flying!" he says.

"I AM ONE MOTIVATED SEXY BEAST." you say, promptly.

The whistle blows, and Tiger is officially out. The rest of the game will be easy.

Only three minutes pass, and everyone on the other side is out. Both sides of the gym were wet on the floor with presumably sweat. Everyone on your team was out too, save for you. The crowd is wild, everyone is shouting your name.

"Anon! Anon! Anon!" they all shout.

"Please, come to my room later tonight!" you hear someone say.

"I am incredibly turned on right now!" you hear a manly voice say.

"Is it over yet?" you hear another voice say.

You are panting. Most the ponies on the other side didn't even bother to get off the field, and most simply tripped over the bodies and didn't get up. You didn't even throw more than eight balls. The other team, in a course of three minutes, eliminated themselves. A voice on the intercom blares.

"Alright, everypony! What a wild game of dodgeball! I hope everypony enjoyed watching it, I-I know I did," the voice huffs for a bit, and then takes another breath. "...would everypony please resume all their own activities? There's still some day left, and you wouldn't want to miss it! You're all free to go now."

Before you know it, the room is devoid of anyone. Seems like dodgeball was something they were forced to go through often. This left you standing in the middle of a gym, everything covered with sweat. You decided it was about time for you to go, too.

You take one step and your foot slips, leaving you face-first in a large puddle of sweat.



Author's Notes: never abandon your men in the middle of a fight, or else you'll get 360 noscoped and fucked by the green weenie anyways, i had to dumb down some of the military parts of this chapter because it's likely nobody will know most of the shit the marine corps has regarding culture and weaponry

Chapter 9 It was just any normal day in prison, after a couple days you've managed to become a legend in the prison's history. You've been in your cell most of the time. You've been in this prison for about a week now, and it's just like a resort. Nothing bad happens here. You figured that if you simply just did nothing and enjoyed yourself, your sentence would be over in no time.

Although, because everyone acts like a child (save for the dragon, Tiger), you've been thinking about what he said about mind control. Could it be true that Equestria is that underdeveloped mentally and legally? Is there really some mass mind control spell? Currently, you don't even care.

Although, you have been acting a little more childish and more on impulse lately. You're not sure if it's the supposed mind control or the prison getting to you. The elementary atmosphere of the place really does take its toll on anyone who enters.

Still, though. You're wondering if there's more to the prison than it looks. Bulk Biceps said he was going to go work out, because you motivated him to do so even more. You figured since nobody will be around to stop you from doing a little snooping, now'd be your chance to get out of the cell. You get out of your hotel-level bed and go to the terminal on the wall. You're going to go out today, well, as much out there is in a prison. You take out your Good Boy Points card, and swipe it on the card slot on the terminal.

Welcome, Anonymous!

You're greeted by the welcome message. You notice you have a new notification on your account. You tap the little icon depicting a parcel, and a message opens.

Hello, Anonymous! Please go to your nearest guard and request to be taken to the Overseer; failure to do so will result in the deposit of -532 Good Boy Points. Have a nice day, and remember to follow the rules and be a general good boy!

This was interesting to you. You found it funny that there is no "withdrawal" as to not hurt anyone's feelings, and only negative deposits. You check your GBP amount, and see that you have a total of about five-hundred. You still haven't begun to uncover what you could do with this amount, but to prisoners this would mean that you've gotten the equivalent of around ten thousand dollars in spending cash, or pretty much access to wherever you'd like in the prison. But this overseer business reminds you of something, but you can't place your finger on it.

You assume the best course of action is to go to a guard and go meet the Overseer. You wouldn't want to risk your good boy money. You exit out of the notification menu on the terminal and press the "REQUEST GUARD" button. Within a couple of minutes, there's a knock on the door.

"Come in. It's not like this isn't a prison." You say.

In comes with all her glory, Sugar the guard pony. She looks at you sheepishly.

"I'm sorry, I, uh, just saw you needed a guard?" she says.

"Yeah. I need to go see the Overseer, or something. I've apparently been told to go to whoever this is." you say.

Sugar looks surprised, and then starts trembling.

"Wow, I d-don't know why she wants to see you. I-it must be important, then. I'll take you to the Overseer right away!" Sugar says, stammering a little bit. You wonder if the Overseer is the head honcho of the prison. Knowing how the prison is, you aren't afraid at all. It's probably just another pony that is like the rest.

"Who's this Overseer?" you ask.

"The Overseer? W-well, we aren't supposed to talk about her that much, but since you're going to see her, you might want an explanation." Sugar explains.

"Go on." you say.

"She's pretty much our cool leader here, she controls what goes on in the prison. Once you meet her, though, I wouldn't be surprised if even you were scared. B-but there's nothing to be afraid of! Just do as she says." says Sugar.

"Alright, then. Can't be that hard." you reply.

"Good to see you've gotten a lot better at cooperation! You'll be fine. Just be, uh, respectful." Sugar says, nervously. You look at the nervous pone with a blank expression. She looks at you with skittish insinuation. She must have thought you have done something extremely bad to earn the attention of the supposed Overseer.

"W-well, we'll be off." she says, as she motions you with a hoof to follow her. You oblige and the both of you are soon walking together in the hallways. Ponies, prisoners and guards alike pay no attention to you. Though, you wonder why none dare come within five feet of you. It must be because you're a natural-born badass in this prison.

You also don't like the fact how Sugar likes to steal a look here or there at you, specifically your crotch. You catch her in the act, causing her to release a small "eep!" in response. She never looked back at you for the rest of the walk.

This oddly reminds you of the one time you were brought to jail back home. Another memory floods in your head as you walk down yet another hallway.

You are Anonymous, dishonorably discharged Marine and now future convict. You are now entering a courtroom for multiple charges for assault, battery, and other things that led you here. While you thought that it was worth it to nearly murder your NCO two months back, you are now about to head to prison for who knows how long.

"...Anonymous. Why is his last name Anonymous?" the judge mutters to himself. The judge of the courtroom is a short, old stocky man dressed up in usual judge garb. He scratches at his developed white beard, and then looks at you with surprise as you are guided in the room with handcuffs while being led by a guard. Why was he looking at you with surprise?


You are Anonymous, in pony prison. It seems you've arrived at your destination. You were too much deep in thought when Sugar was attempting to garner your attention. You've been staring at the doorway to the Overseer's office for about two minutes with your eyes crossed, and a small stream of drool was hanging out of your then-open mouth.

Author's Notes: it's a small update, but with a big setup to a big arc edit: pls leave comments, give it to me like the slut i am, i wonder what you guys may think happen?

Chapter 10 The prison was horrible. You mostly stayed in a closed, cold, and lonely cell with a hole to shit in. For acting up, you got sent here for a week, maybe two weeks at a time. You start seeing shit, being alone and without stimulation. You've lost track of the time. You're not sure if you've been in here for two hours, or two weeks. Sometimes, you walk around poking at things without even realizing it. You're pretty sure you've died inside, but when you eventually come out, you don't forget any of it.

That was the worst punishment anyone could receive, in your mind. True loneliness. Not like a villain, but rather someone lost in a world where they're the only one left alive. Nobody to talk to. Nobody to even touch. Nobody is there. Where is there? Why are you here?

Sometimes it comforts you to imagine what it would be like if there was a really hot chick in there with you. At least you could sleep better with your prostate emptied, but you know in the end that'll never happen. Sometimes you scream. Sometimes you scream so loud you forget what voice is. Sometimes you make noises because that's the only stimulation you'll get. You've given up on working out, there's no reason to anymore. You just want it all to end. Why won't it end? This cell is all you know, and it is all you will ever know for the rest of your days.

You miss momma. You miss dad. You miss your boot friends. Why are you here? Why were you betrayed?

You end up sitting there for days, only eating and sleeping.

You don't want anybody to tell you what is real. All you know is all that you can feel. The pain hurts, and it hurts especially because there is no pain because nothing goes on in this prison.

You don't want anybody to tell you what is real. Why should they? All you know is the cracks in the door, letting in a little light. All you know is all you can feel, and the feeling hurts.

That is, everything stopped hurting when the floor gave out under you.

You are Anonymous, and you enter the Overseer's office in the pony prison some call hell on Equestria. Just they don't realize how good it is there. There's comfort. There's good food. There's good chicken nuggies. Oh, you love the tendies.

The Overseer's office is a stark contrast to the friendly, inviting look of the prison. It's cold and dark, and by just looking at it, it gives you shivers. Up ahead, there's a desk with a computer terminal. Sitting behind the desk is the Overseer herself.

"Anonymous, correct? An inter-dimensional being. You've been causing quite the stir, young man." says the Overseer. You take a gander over at the Overseer. She's a normal sized, but regal looking white pony that reeks of cliche. She looks at you with a conceited glare.

"It has come to my attention that you are having, well, unclean thoughts about this establishment. What has your dragon cohort told you?"

"He said something about mind control, but I don't really believe him all that much." You say instantaneously without thought. Why have you suddenly said that? Why does the Overseer no longer scare you?

"It is good that you are not scared, young one. I wish to ask you to stop giving my guards belly rubs, it is not like I do not know what you have been doing. I will reset your account to one-hundred good boy points." she says with a slow southern drawl.

"Yes ma'am, without question, ma'am." you reply. Why are you treating her with so much respect? You can't even think right now.

"I expect only good behavior out of you. You may exit the office now. Your presence here is no longer needed." the Overseer says, in a quiet, but somehow hissing tone.

You perform an about face, and turn three-hundred sixty degrees, and then walk out of the door. Quite the strange character! You hope she doesn't ground you. The thought scares you.

That is, when you realized you were thinking like a kindergartener for a moment. You shake the thought out of your head and you resume your day of non-activity.

When you get back to your cell, you find that Tiger is there, too. What a nice surprise! You sure do love your friend.

"Heya Tiger! How goes your day, my fellow friend?" you say.

"What the hell? What's with that speech?" he says. You instantly snap out of your delusion.

"Jesus, dude. I don't know, I just was at the Overseer's office. I guess what you said about mind control is right or something." you say as you sit down on your bed, you need to take a breather. Tiger looks at you with a concerned look on his scaly dragon face. He makes a concerned dragon noise and then squats on the floor.

"Whatever you do, you should avoid the Overseer's office at all costs. I went there twice. I walked out feeling like a baby both times." he says. You look up at the ceiling. "That's part of the reason why I no longer can be violent. Something just stops me, you know? The Overseer said it would help with relations to everyone else because of some order by the Princess."

"I wonder how they do this mind control thing. Now that I've faced it full on, I've got a clear picture of what everyone else in here goes through. Still won't stop me from having my share of the fun, you know." you say with a worried chuckle at the end.

"You know, I've been thinking, you know?" says Tiger. "We should, like, get out of this shit and get someone else out of it too." Tiger says.

"You're speaking as if it could be simply spread like a disease." you reply.

"It can, and it definitely probably would work, maybe." Tiger says. You look at him with surprise.

"It's why when I spoke to you, you instantly snapped out of it. You've only been introduced to the mind control they use. I think it's some form of magic for those with tons of magic in them already." he says.

"I'm magic retardant, as told by some odd purple horse in the town a few months back. Why am I still falling for this?" you say.

"It's because you are also introduced to the cultist part of it. It's a bunch off good stuff on the outside. It's meant to trick you. I haven't fallen for it, but the magic part gets to me whenever I face the Overseer. Here, punch me."

"What?" you say.

"You can punch me, right? Try it." he says.

"Why should I punch you?" you reply.

"I can't believe you're not catching on to this, man. You're only affected by the cult-y part of the business. Your ability to reap violence right now is frowned on and stuff, so punch me."

What he said made a lot of sense. You get up, and he gets up. He holds out his dragon shoulder.

"Punch me."

Without hesitation, you punch him very hard, and ended up getting your hand hurt. You let out a low grunt, and hold your hand tenderly. Tiger laughs.

"I can't be hurt by stuff like that. Normally, if you had punched me before my visits to the big bitch, I'd beat you to a bloody pulp," he says, "but I can't now because I just don't feel like it. I've lost the spark. You've still got the fighting spirit in you, and I don't think they can get rid of it." Tiger says.

"Holy shit." you say. "Kickass."

"That proves what I was thinking. You're not affected by their mind spell, but I'd avoid drinking anything that's not water. They still can manually inject magic stuff into you if you digest it." Tiger explains.

"That explains a lot, nobody even mentioned anything like that to me." you say.

Elsewhere, in the prison, Sugar is meeting up with the Overseer in a private undisclosed location. Unfortunately for you, you're Sugar, and you're getting new orders.

"I want you to keep up the transformation process. Do whatever you can to subdue this Anonymous figure mentally. Understood?" says the Overseer.

"Understood, ma'am. We won't have any more trouble with him under my watch. He's already head over hooves for me, I'm sure of it." you reply.

"Get to it, then. I expect to see you here again next Thursday."

You can't wait.

Chapter 11 (Sugar High) You are Anonymous. You are currently in a pony prison in the town of Ponyville. You still don't get why everything is a pun here.

Other than that, Sugar has been really nice to you as of late. You'd suspect something, but she's a silly pony who does silly pony things. You're pretty sure this Overseer pone is the only one who's in the loop.

Sugar came up to you one day asking for belly rubs.

"Sorry, Sugar. My hands are tired." you say.

Sugar moves on for then. The next day, she asks you for belly rubs again.

"P-please Anonymous. I need this. I need this real bad." she says.

"No can do. Don't feel like it today, sorry." you say.

The next day, you woke up with your face being warm and it being hard to breathe. You sit there a moment, still groggy from the sleep. Ever since you stopped drinking what they served here, your sleep schedule has been getting progressively worse.

Then, you realize that something's on your face. You immediately grab whatever was on your face, and throw it to the nearest corner of the room. You haven't opened your eyes yet, but you still can hear a loud thump hitting the ground.

"WOAH. WHAT WAS THAT NOISE, ANON BRO? WHY'S THE GUARD IN HERE?" says Bulk Biceps as he walks on in from recess. You slept in late today, seeing as recess is at 11:00 AM.

"Guard? Ah hell. SUGAR." you say, now getting pissed.


"No belly rubs for bad pone. You interrupted my peaceful slumber, and I will not rub your belly any more, Sugar." you say. Sugar is saddened by this.

"Oh, Anon. Why won't you love me? I just want you to love me. I am a good pony! I am a good pony!" she frantically sputters.

"What? That's out of the ordinary, even for you, Sugar." you say. She blushes because she thought you called her sugar affectionately.

"O-oh, Anon! I knew you loved me! Anyone who calls me sugar like that.." she trails off. You hear liquid hitting the floor. You have to tell Bulk Biceps to stop spilling his protein shakes.


"Sugar is your name." you say.

"Yeah?" Sugar replied.

"I called you by your name. I am not romantically interested in ponies. Ponies are weird," you say. "Pony pussy is gross."

You're pretty sure you angered someone by saying that, but that's not your major concern at the moment. Sugar looks like she just got grabbed by the pussy, and not a pleasurable grab either. Her face turns to a darker tone.

"Anon..." she says.

"Look, Sugar, I like you, but not that kind of like. Your butt is smelly. I do not like smelly butts." you say. You still have the slight smell of shit in your nostrils.

"I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow, Anon my dear!" she mewls out, right as she darts out the door.

Today will be a strange day.

You then decide you are hungry, and you want some food rations. You don't want any of the crap that they'll give you, you'll choose the most boring and bland thing they have in the cafeteria. Considering the fact that it is indeed lunchtime, you decide to go to the cafeteria.

Right as you begin to walk right on out the door, you slip on spilled protein shake and promptly land face-first on the ground. Your face is covered in...

Wait a moment...

This is protein shake.

It appears that Bulk Biceps really did spill a protein shake that he happened to be carrying. You're glad that it was just his protein shake.

You quickly wipe your face off, and then walk out the door into the hallway.

Lunchtime in pony prison meant that there were many a delectable item to eat. Eating was nice in this "prison," but you don't want any pony magic things inside your head making you an obedient dog. You sit down at your table with Tiger, who is patiently waiting on his turn to go to the lunch line.

"Hey." you greet, giving Tiger a lazy wave as you sit down in front of him. He grunts and gives you a nod of attention.

"What's new?" you ask, hoping that he'd have something interesting to say.

"The usual." he blandly says. You wonder why he's not being talkative.

"What's the usual?" you say, hoping to get something out of him. He gives you an annoyed look, and leans in.

"We're being watched by big bitch. Don't say anything off." he whispers in your ear. You wince from the hot dragon breath. You're pretty sure some hairs on your ear were burnt off. Since you're Anon, and you're a badass, you decide not to react too much to it and move on.

You give Tiger a knowing nod. By the look on your face, you're plotting something funny. You decide the best way to mess with the cameras currently pointed at you with scrutiny from the ceiling, is to say things that aren't too suspicious but still are strange.

"Boy, do I sure love education and school." you say, hoping Tiger would catch on.

"I like big books for big boys." Tiger spurts out. You see a hint of a grin.

"Mommy says people my age shouldn't suck their thumbs, you know? I'm this old and I still do it. It reminds me of her warm embrace." you say, trying to keep a straight face.

"I am a special boy." Tiger says. "I know because my mother told me."

"Oh yeah?" you add, "You can't be the special boy, I am the special boy here. My mommy is more mommy than your mommy." you say.

"Take that back! You do not mean that! My mother is the best mom! Your mom a bad!" pipes Tiger.

"My mommy has bigger breasts than your mother." you reply.

"That's it, don't make me do it." Tiger threatens.

"Do what?"

"That's it. You're no longer invited to my birthday party." Tiger finishes with a smug look. Both you and Tiger look up at the ceiling, and notice that the cameras are no longer focused on you. A small scuffle had erupted in the lunch line where Edge tried to cut in line, and was promptly subdued by guards and then taken elsewhere. That event was apparently more interesting than two foreign beings conglomerating at a lunch table. You laugh internally. That'll show him.

A guard then comes by, and releases you and Tiger to the lunch line where you then get food. The rest of the lunch "period" went smoothly. You didn't notice that Sugar was keeping a close eye on you from the other side of the cafeteria.

Lunch ends, and you are sent back to your cell as the intercom ordered. You decide to catch up on some sleep because the magic was no longer affecting you. You need the energy to make it through. You look at the digital clock on your bedside table, and figure that you have a few free hours to do whatever. Today's just a normal day where nothing much goes on. You get on the bed and curl up in a fetal position.

Who knew that watching Anonymous sleep could be so much fun? You're now Sugar, by the way. Anonymous has been denying you of the one thing that keeps your life going. You need the sweet, sweet, sweet, saucy belly rubs to get your juice going.

You crave the way his hands rub up against your soft, vulnerable pony belly. You want his hands on your chest fluff. You want his hot monkey d-

You shake that thought out of your head. You need belly rubby time. You need it bad. It's intoxicating like a drug. You watch him eagerly from the side of his bed, watching every twitch he makes, listening to the sweet music of his gentle breathing. You received orders to do anything you must to subdue him mentally, but you already know that Anon loves you and would never betray you. You know that You would live a happy life with belly rubs. You would do anything to take him for yourself. Why does he play coy with you?

You wonder what's going on in his dreams. Is he dreaming about you? You know that he's dreaming about you of course. He loves you. Why else would he give you belly rubs?

You are Anonymous, and you're dreaming. You currently can't tell if you're dreaming or not, you're just currently in a state of mental numbness as you watch what unfolds in front of you. You're watching two beings fight each other. You think one of them is sun horse, ruler of all pony land.

"Go do the hand ball thing, Celesto. You've got like, three horns probably." you say. You wonder how many fingers you have, so you look down at your hand only to realize you've never had a hand.

"Silly me. I've forgot it at Walmart."

You are Sugar. Anonymous is so adorable when he sleeps. Sometimes he says some things.

"Hands." says Anon in a hushed, strained voice. Your heartbeat quickens.

You can't take any more, you feel like you're going to burst. You decide the best course of action is to leave the premises. The belly rubs will soon be yours for the taking.

"I shall see you soon, Anonymous. I can't wait!" you say to yourself, giving him one last look before rushing out the door.

Author's Notes: Inspiration has struck, my friend. Thus begins the Sugar High arc.

Chapter 12 You're Anon. You're sitting in the yellow tube things on the playground. This is what you do every day at recess, because you don't want to risk exposing yourself to bad mind control things. Tiger said it was okay to fool around with the other prisoners a bit, but you're not taking that chance. Sugar left you alone for a day, but she's been prowling the playground looking for you, hence the hiding in the yellow tubes.

"Back for more, sugar?" says the prostitute pony. She shared the tube with you, but was kind of an annoyance because she always wanted to hug. You thought about risking a belly rub, but you don't want to do that for obvious reasons.

"No, sorry. I just need to hide here for a bit, " you say.

"All's good, big boy. I totally understand. Rumor has it that you're in cahoots with that one guard mare. She hasn't been leaving you alone, huh?"


"What's that one thing that's got her all crazy, belly rubs or something?" says prostitute pone.

"Yup," you reply.

"I'll admit, I'm curious, but that's some freaky stuff that you're getting into."

"What? You have experience?" you say, surprised. All the things you've seen this pone do is hugs at worst. Prostitute pony takes out a candy cigarette, and pops it in her mouth.

"I guess you could say that," she says as she fakes a hit out of the candy, and blows. "I've seen many ponies go crazy after receiving the Celestia-forsaken belly rubs. I don't fear it, but I do know it's something nopony messes with. It ain't illegal, honey, but it's dangerous. Some say Celestia herself suppressed knowledge of it. But what do I know? I'm here for two more weeks. I'll be out there again."

"You're saying that belly rubs make people crazy. Have you ever gotten one?" you ask. Prostitute pone spits out her cigarette, and looks at you with a disgusted look.

"No. I don't plan on it, sweetie cheekies, but I've given 'em before. Gave one to my friend, and that's how I got my cutie mark. It's not something I'm scared to talk about, I just choose not to talk about it," she says. You look at her tramp stamp, and see that it's a crude drawing of a heart getting slapped by a hoof.

"How'd you end up in here?" you ask.

"Gave an unsolicited hug to a minor. He looked old 'nuff, and was taller than me. No way I could'a told if he was old enough," she says. Prostitute pone sighs, and pulls out another candy cigarette.

You hear frantic hoofsteps coming your way. Prostitute pone looks at you once more.

"Looks like I got to go, cutie. You've got some company," she says as she quickly absconds out of the tube.

Sugar, in all her insane glory, pokes her head through the tube. You jump, and start shivering for the first time in your life.

"Sugar! W-what a coincidence," you say.

"What were you doing with that whorse?" she says.

"Actually, nothing. Really," you sputter out.

"Really?" Sugar says.

"Yup," you reply. Sugar immediately leaps up on you, licking every inch of your face. You immediately pry her head off of you, and manage to hold her back. Her tongue is still out.

"What are you doing?" you demand.

"It's time for lovey lovey belly time! Give me rubbies, Anon, and I will give you nice, nice cummies," she says while breathing heavily. "This is what all men crave, right? You need me to pleasure you, Anon, and then you will reward me. Reward me, Anon!"

"Hell no, you crazy pone. No belly rubs for bad pone," you say, no longer shivering. You're just frustrated and disgusted. Sugar takes herself off of you for a moment, and then immediately dives for your pants, frantically trying to take them off.

"Let me see you, little Anon! I'll make sure to treat you just right!" Sugar spews out as drool and all sorts of slobber begin making a mess in the tube. You're now fighting to get her off. Hell, you even threw a few punches, and the punches left a bruise on her face. She still wouldn't get off.

"If it's gonna be that way, Anon, then that's how it will be! Your pants are too silly, so I'll just get rid of them!"

Sugar completely rips off your pants to reveal your boxers that have been issued to you. You may or may not have a slight boner, but not because of the poner. Sugar audibly makes a squelching sound somewhere behind her, but you're not concerned with that. Now liberated from your pant prison, you immediately get up and make a break for it.

Sugar immediately chases you out of the yellow tubes, and you're now in a full sprint. You just want to get away from crazy pone. You ran toward the swing sets, and got some funny looks as you were being chased. You wondered why there weren't any other guards around to catch you without pants, but you're sure they wouldn't care anyways, seeing as ponies don't wear pants.

With your junk bobbing with every loud step you make, you manage to scare away anyone that was using the swing set and then run around all the poles, trying to throw off Sugar who was closely behind. You reach the end of the swing set, and look behind you to see Sugar completely leap over the swing set entirely.

You keep running, and this time you get inside the prison, in the main hallway where the prisoner cells are located. You blockade the door behind you with a chair and then get to your cell.

"HEY ANON! BACK FROM RECESS? I WASN'T ON GUARD DUTY FOR RECESS TODAY," Bulk Biceps says. He was already in the cell relaxing on his comfortable bed. You close the door behind you quite loudly as you make a dive for the underside of your bed.

"Bulk Biceps, I can't talk right now, but you have to listen to me," you say.


"If Sugar comes rushing in through that door, you do not tell her I'm here. All you know is that I was headed for the cafeteria."


You hide under the bed, and put some extra pillows lying around on your perimeter. This way, if Sugar does come through here, you're anticipating that she only takes a quick glance under the bed. Hopefully she won't immediately see you.

Just then, the door bursts open and you see Sugar's blue hooves prancing around the room. Her hooves stop at Bulk Bicep's bed.

"Hey there, have you seen Anon around?" she asks.

"N-NOPE," Bulk Biceps says.

"Are you sure?" she presses.


"I'll just take a quick look around the room, okay?" Sugar says as Bulk puts his hoof on the Scrabble game under his pillow.


After about a minute of Sugar throwing random objects around the room while muttering to herself, she gives up and exits the room. You think she was headed in the direction of the cafeteria.

Bulk Biceps was just shivering on the bed.


You come out from under the bed, and go over to Bulk Biceps and comfort him.

"It's alright now, she can't scare you any more."

You hope she doesn't pull anything else like this, but knowing the magic behind belly rubs, you're not so sure about that presumption. You then retire to your bed and watch some pony TV. Apparently, someone got arrested for public masturbation while praising the sun.

Just another day in pony land, you suppose.

Chapter 13 You are Anon. In this prison, you've recided and decided that Sugar pone is too much for you to handle. The harassment just doesn't stop from her. One day, you watched as she put on a show on one of the lunch tables in a feeble attempt to win your love. Too bad you don't love disgusting ponies who shouldn't get any belly rubs. You still have nightmares about what you saw.

Your behavior was pretty decent for the past week, and now you've gotten two more weeks to go before you finally get out. You are pretty excited by this notion, but you've gotten no clue as to what you'll do when you do get out. Will you continue to live the life you once lived before the prison? Is it even worth it fighting back against the government?

You realize that it's the establishment's mistake for making the gym magically enhanced. You're definitely stronger now, and even though you're not effected by magic by any considerable margin, you do know your trips to the gym has been making you harder. You're only magic retardant, yet you definitely don't feel like a retard either. You have no remnants of any visible body fat on you whatsoever. You've reached the point to where even Arnold Schwarzenegger would be proud.

As you sit on your bed in the your hotel room-like cell, you stare at the ceiling and wonder how many ponies you could take on at once. Surely, you can't be overpowered by a group of ponies like before. You're not even sure anyone can contain you.

"WHAT'S GOT YOUR MIND, BUDDY OL' PAL?" Bulk Biceps asks. You assume he's just really observant towards others.

"Just wondering how many ponies I could take in a fight." you reply. Bulk Biceps winces when you say fight, but he still gives you a nod of approval.


"Is that a challenge?" you say. Bulk Biceps has a spark in his eye. Your sphincter clenches.


You then spend the next few minutes setting up the most perfect and fair arm wrestling table with Bulk Biceps. After laying down some ground rules, you're ready to partake in the one of the greatest arm wrestling matches of all time.

You are Supreme Commander Anonymous. You are currently leading your army of ten-thousand Anons. Each Anon has two swords in each hand because shields are for pussies. You're currently preparing to enter battle with the Bulky Army. The Bulky Army is also ten-thousand strong, and are all super muscly ponies. None of them have weapons, but you're sure even your army's dual swordsmanship will have trouble breaking through the skin.


You're one of the greatest commanders in all history. You have won many a battle against formiddable foes, most notably the Sweet Rebellion movement. You won't explain the history because this is a dramatic representation of an arm wrestling match.

"Go forth, my men! Give them hell!" you yell through your radio. Your army gives a cheer and sprints towards the opposing force.

This day will go down in history.

You set your arm down on the table, and Bulk Biceps puts down his appendage as well. Bulk's wings give an excited flitter.

You grip his hoof, and his hoof wraps around your hand. Thus begins the match.

The armies collide. You watch as your men slaughter and be slaughtered. You will not allow a loss today! If you win this battle, your name shall be forever set in stone. You draw your sword in your left hand and your pistol in your right hand. You charge forth, and catch up to your men.

You take out a couple of the enemies. A few of your men form a protective circle around you. As per the laws and regulations of international battle, once the commander is killed, the army is forced to submit. Fortunately for you, your army is one of the best, if not the best. You're confident in your men's ability to protect you should you face any danger.

You and your protective circle make an indent in the opposing force's numbers, which in turn allows for more of your men from behind to make a move to get inside. You tell your men who are from behind to get in here, and start broadening the hole. They give you a prompt "aye aye, sir!" and then move in.

The sound of metal clashing and the smell of blood flowing brings a tear to your eye. You ponder about what is going on with the other commander as you fight ever-so-gracefully.

"RRGH!" grunts out Bulk Biceps as he tries to budge your arm. You've managed to hold your ground well, and even managed to move his arm ever so slightly closer to the table.

"You shoulda thought twice, my man. Looks like you're having trouble." you say as Bulk Biceps veins grow as every second go on as he strains to get an advantage on you. You push further, and before you know it his arm is on the table. The table snaps in half, and is then broken. Bulk Biceps looks at you with a defeated smile.

"WOW, ANON! NOPONY HAS EVER BEATEN ME IN AN ARM WRESTLE. I'M PROUD OF YOU." he says, huffing and puffing from all the strain on his muscles.

"Remember, Bulky, your muscles to me are just for show. Get good. G, G." you reply. He trudges over to his bed and immediately falls asleep. You wish you could fall asleep as easily as he does.

You're pretty sure you heard a large mass of people cheer somewhere in the building, but you think that was your imagination.

Your imaginative cheering bubble is popped by a knock on the door. Figuring there couldn't be any harm to check and see who it is, you strut on over to the door and open it. You open it to find Sugar.

"Hi, Anon! Can I have a belly rubby please?" Sugar says. You give an annoyed sigh.

Right as Sugar opens her mouth to say something else, you close the door, turn three-hundred and sixty degrees, and then walk away.

Author's Notes: CAUSE THIS IS FILLER FILLER NIGHT WE GONNA GET SOME SUGAR IT IS NEXT CHAPTER ALRIGHT (i made, like, 3 chapters and they'll all be posted daily for the next few days. next two are huge sugar high chapters. 1/3)

Chapter 14 You are Anon. You are currently inside your cell. Dealing with Sugar proved to be easier than you thought. She stopped trying to get inside your pants. In fact, you haven't seen her at all in the past two days. You wondered what she was up to.

You then remember something your father said.

"Anon, thinking about anyone gives them power. Don't give them power. If you have them thinking about you, you have all the power you need son."

You liked your old man. You shouldn't be thinking about him because that would give him power. You took his advice from then on out, you're going to have fun.

Later, when it was lunchtime, you walked out to the hallway. You're feeling hungry and you need to find the worst food possible.

You thought the hallways were all too clean in this place. They were always, like, clean and shit. You didn't know why they employ so many janitors. In fact, as you were walking throughout the hallway, you encountered about five janitors. You thought about rotating three-hundred sixty degrees and walking away to your room, but you decided hunger was more important than hiding from the eye contact of the janitors. You wonder how much they make in a year.

As you enter the lunchroom, you take in how much it really reminded you of your middle school cafeteria. It wasn't large by any means, maybe even half the size of the basketball gym they've got here. You took note of the overly-clean floor tiles and the ceiling made up of those white cardboard panels with black specks littered throughout. The lights look like they're replaced weekly.

Tiger, your dragon buddy, is sitting at the table you usually sit at. It's a table meant to seat about sixteen prisoners, but only you and Tiger take up the table. He gives you a respectful nod as you strut on over like you own the place. Bulk Biceps gave you a kind of please sit with me at my table, everyone is lame here look as you passed by. Too bad for him you think, he'll never be as cool as you.

"What's new?" Tiger asks on cue right as you sit down at the table in front of him.

"Nothing much, my buddy ol' pal." you reply. You and Tiger devised a secret kind of language that you two use to communicate with at the table. Knowing how the Overseer likes to watch everyone, it's the best way to give information without seeming too ridiculous. Saying "buddy ol' pal", for instance, means that something's afoot. Tiger gives you a concerned look.

"My caretaker seems to like playing hide-and-seek nowadays." you say. Tiger understood what you meant immediately. You let him in on Sugar's yandere tendencies earlier, and by telling him she's been gone for a while he knows something big may happen.

"Hide-and-seek gets pretty boring now that I think of it. Not really fun at all, in my opinion. Want to hang out at recess? Maybe play on the swings?" Tiger says rather convincingly. You're not even sure if you could tell if he were trying to hide any secret messages at all. You were proud of him.

You then give him a grin and say, "Sure. Let's play on the swings."

Later, at recess time, you don't go to the swings because that would be silly. Nobody would discuss anything important by the swings. Rather, you and Tiger meet up under the wooden castle construction in the far left side of the playground. There was a few loose planks in its construction, and that allowed you to make a nice little hidey-hole under the castle where nobody was intended to go. It's kind of damp, but it's mostly cosy. None of the odd rock pebbles that are scattered around the playground are there too, so you don't have to deal with rocks in your shoes while there.

Thinking of the entire area, you still don't understand why they made the playground bigger than the entirety of the prison itself.

When you finally get to the castle, you take a seat and wait for Tiger to arrive. Nobody hangs out under the castle. It's too dark for anyone other than you and Tiger, and the little cracks of light that come in add a cool hide-out effect.

Excited hoofsteps occasionally pitter and patter above you as a pony goes by. The cracks in between the wood planks surprisingly don't let out much sound if you keep your voice low, and also make for a great lookout should any guards come by. You know that anyone wouldn't dare snitch on you, anyways. Everyone in the prison is too afraid to even approach you for a game of ball. Though, it's not like you care anyways. You weren't much one for playing with adults who acted like children as any sane-minded person would be.

Tiger comes in, and squeezes himself in a corner to make more room for you. Now you can begin discussing things like normal human beings. Well, human being and dragon that is.

"So what's up with Sugar, is that bitch harassing you?" Tiger asks.

"No," you begin, "she hasn't been harassing me at all as of late. For two whole days. That's what scares me."

"So what do you actually think is going on?" Tiger replies.

"I think she's planning something. Something big, too."

"Should I be worried?" Tiger worriedly asks. Even he knows how dangerous crazy ponies can get. You've seen some defy the laws of physics before in order to get a goal accomplished.

"Nah. Far as I know, she only wants my dick." you say.

"Good. I don't want to deal with her. I'll still help you as long as I don't come into any kind of physical contact with her. I wouldn't want to get wet." Tiger replies. You laugh internally at Tiger's little joke.

You hear frantic hoofsteps, and the sound of liquid being spilt. Tiger picks up on this too.

"Looks like your friend is back after her leave. Let's keep it quiet." Tiger warns. You agree, and you shuffle into a corner where the light isn't let in all that well. You know who the visitor is.

Sugar, in all her glory, starts to patrol the castle itself. You hear her muttering something about scents and how he's supposed to be somewhere around here.

"Oh Aaaaanon~!" she hollers with a sing-song twist. "Where are you, Aaaaaaanon~?"

Tiger's eyes go forwards. He's obviously getting pissed. He does not like the sound of Sugar's voice at all. You guess he gets even more pissed off at the fact that he can't deal with it due to the whole non-violence stuff that's fucking him up. You feel bad for him.

Remembering your Dad's advice, you remember not to give Sugar any power. In fact, you have an idea! You go over to Tiger and begin to whisper in his ear hole.

"I'm going to try something. It'll be risky, but it'll hopefully save me from rapey time troubles. I do not want forcey fun times." you whisper.

Tiger gives you a nod of approval, albeit reluctantly. You make a move for the exit. You wait for Sugar to be on the other side of the castle before you swiftly take off the wooden planks and exit. When you get out, you swiftly replace the wooden planks as to hide your hidey hole.

Sugar comes back around to the side of the castle you're on.

"Anon! There you are! You've been a naughty, naughty boy. You've denied me of my one reason for existence, Anon. I'm here to collect my debt." Sugar says.

Sugar stood in front of you, eagerly waiting for a reply. Her eyes twinkled with the hope that you would grace your hand on her belly. Your eyes did not make any contact with hers.

Sugar is confused as to why you're not paying any attention to her.

"Anon?" she sputters out. She's getting visibly flustered.

You slowly look down at her, and make eye contact for a whole five seconds. Her face immediately lightens up.

"Oh, Anon! I know you wouldn't leave me-" she says, interrupted by you again looking forward at your own eye-level breaking eye contact with her. Her mouth drops in shock.

You walk away as if she were never there.

"Anon?" she says, following you. You just keep on walking. You are not thinking about Sugar. You will not give her any power.

"Anon?" she repeats, as you keep on walking. Eventually, you reach Bulk Biceps who is currently playing a game of catch with a group of other ponies. Helka the griffin's in the group, too.

"What's up, Bulk Biceps? Mind if I join in?" you ask him.


"Who?" you say.


You look behind you, and Sugar is there. However, you don't acknowledge her existence. Right now, she doesn't exist. Her face lightens up as you turn around to look, only to darken as you don't give her any sign of recognition. You looked right through her and that seemed to strike a chord with her. Too bad you didn't care to notice she existed.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Bulky. Let's play." you say nonchalantly.


The rest of recess goes by smoothly. Sugar simply left after she figured out she wasn't going to get anything. This would be great news to you, but you don't know a pony by the name of Sugar. The thought never crossed your mind, so you never noticed in the first place. The rest of the day went smoothly, too. That night, you went to sleep like a baby.

You are Princess Luna. You won't trifle with any introductions at the moment, as whoever is reading should know who you are in the first place. Currently, you are investigating the recent strange being's dreams. You can't seem to get a grip on what it could possibly mean at all.

You get in your bed and snuggle up. You then use your horse magic to enter the dream hub, and find Anon's dream door. The door is covered in what appears to be feces. Why it is covered in such a vile substance, you may never know.

Yet, tonight was going to be different. This night, you were going to get to the bottom of things. You were going to find out the hidden meaning behind this strange Anon figure's dreams.

You enter the door, and are immediately graced with a wonderful landscape of green and trees and rivers and- wow. This is beautiful to you. You're going to definitely have an easier time solving this mystery than you thought. You were going to-

Is that... a flying penis? Is that Anon riding the flying penis?

Maybe tomorrow, then. All great things are done with time.

Author's Notes: all hail the massive flying skydong here comes some more dream sequences and more yandere pony guard waifu for your laifu also, i love recieving comments. give them to me like the disgusting junkie i am

Chapter 15 You are Anon. Your mood has certainly took a brighter change seeing as Sugar hasn't even spoken to you in a week. The most she'd do is give you a hopeless, sad, and soul crushing look in the hallway if you ever pass her. She's realized that simply begging you for rubbies won't do her any good. You don't care because she doesn't exist to you.

You have all the power you need because you're all she thinks about. She has no power over you.

You'd know you have all the power if you ever thought about Sugar. You don't think about Sugar, so you don't know at all.

Living day to day in the prison is pretty easy now. You simply wake up, eat, talk to Tiger at lunch and recess, eat again, and finally go to bed. You sometimes work out in the gym if you're super bored. You've stopped talking to anyone else altogether as to not be cultivated into any cult mindset. Bulk Biceps is one of the few that still gets some small talk from you every now and then.

"HEY ANON! WHAT'S UP?" he'd say.

"Nothing much." you'd reply.

"HOW YOU DOIN', ANON?" he'd say.

"Just alright." you'd reply.

It's a simple and easy life. Maybe the whole brain-washing thing wasn't so bad. You could finally live your nice, quiet life outside the prison and not stir any trouble. Is this what you wanted to begin with?

Probably not.

You were on your way to the lunchroom when a guard stopped you.

"Anon, the overseer wants to talk to you. Please come with me." said the generic looking guard pone. You comply in silence as the pony walks you to the overseer's office.

The walk down the hallways were a hoot. Sometimes you'd see childish scuffles break out because of who gets who's complementary cupcake. Other times you observe as ponies conveniently swerve out of your direction whether they could see you or not.

You arrive at the cold, spooky entrance to the overseer's office. The guard motions for you to go in, and then you let yourself in. The door didn't close as comfortably as you would have liked it as it stopped a little bit when you closed it behind you.

The overseer, in her fancy chair, spun around the chair til it faced you. You were glad your mind didn't go numb like last time when you entered, otherwise you'd be scared. You are not fazed in the slightest. You keep a disgruntled, but straight face as she looks you directly in the eye.

"Anonymous." she begins.

"Yes ma'am?" you ask.

"I hear your behavior has been exceptional the past few days." she said.

"I hoped so." you say. The overseer's face didn't change from her usual poker face. It seemed like she suspected something. It seemed like she was insinuating that you had done something bad and it slipped from her all-seeing eye.

"You haven't been talking to many residents of the prison, and that is why we're here to talk, Anonymous." she says.

"Why is that a problem?" you ask.

"You aren't socializing and you are clinging to a small group of ponies. Why is that? Do you... not wish to make friends?" she questions.

"I don't feel like it. I feel like I'd cause more trouble if I kept talking to more ponies. I don't see the problem." you say.

"You've only been talking to your dragon friend. It seems he and you are getting along quite well?"

"That would be a yes." you say.

"That is good, but you may be suffering from... anti-social tendencies." she accuses.

"I'm not suffering from anything. I feel comfortable with my small gaggle of people. It's not like I'm causing any trouble." you reply.

Her face somehow manages to harden even further. She then looks down at her desk, and then back to you. She then throws over an envelope to you. You pick it up, and look at it. Its seal is in the shape of a heart. You hoped this wasn't some freaky love note.

"Take that back to your room and read it. You're invited to something of which I think will help you be more comfortable in the prison. That is all I require from you for now. You may leave." she says. You let out some breath, comforted by the fact that this wasn't indeed a love note.

You resisted the urge to turn three-hundred and sixty degrees then walk away, but you just walk away normally this time. Your mastery of the art of movement would have to wait for another time. You open the door and walk out. As you tried to close the door, the door stopped again halfway and then operated like normal.

You were beginning to think of how some WD-40 would fix that up, but are interrupted by a running and screaming pony that dashed by you.

You turn your head to the direction that the pony was going, to find that the pony was long gone at this point. A group of guards rush in from the other side of the hallway. The group of guards stopped. One of them looks at you.

"Hey, prisoner! Where did that pony go off to?" the guard insinuates.

"That way."

You point to the direction where the guards went.

"Darn! We got bamboozled again, fellas! Come on! Let's get him!" says the guard. Just like that, the guards were gone as fast as the other pony.

You were in the mood to ruin someone's day, and that encounter met the quota. You are now proud of your achievement.

You then begin down the hallway. You were gonna read this letter in the privacy of your "cell".

Author's Notes: who wants to vidya lemme know i need more vidya pals if you play overwatch hit me up famalam, or csgo or gta v also expect lots of chapters in a very short timespan

Chapter 16 You, Aananimes have been

write prisoner name here

formally invited to the bi-annually Social Fun Conference! Since you undoubtedly have trouble fitting in with the rest of the populous, we're here to help you get back on your feet and become ready to be the best citizen that you can ever be! Going to this kind of conference should give you the spark that you need to live your life! Please head on down to the lecture hall in section 9F at precisely 8:00AM on the 14th of Neighpril. Feel free to bring a friend!

After reading that, you're amazed at how the prison administration can't even write a letter like this seriously. As each day goes on, you grow increasingly tired of how immature everyone is here. You hoped that you didn't sound hypocritical, but then again, nobody should be reading your mind right now. You're under no mind control.

Also, if you forgot, you're Anonymous. You're currently sitting on your bed, and it's about time for you to get some sleep. You don't know much of the dating system that this country has yet, you kind of lived your life just getting by without any set dates. However, you're certain that the note means that this conference is taking place tomorrow.

You really didn't want to go, but you also didn't want any gubbamints breathing down your smooth, finely toned, and ambiguously colored neck.

Bulk Biceps is just chilling on his bed, staring at the ceiling. You hear the sound of bed sheets rustling. He's now facing you with an excited grin on his face. You look over at him.


"I wouldn't say rough. This place is like kindergarten." you say. Bulk Biceps just laughs.

"YOU'RE ALWAYS SO COOL, ANON. YOU MAY BE A CONVICT BUT YOU ALWAYS HAVE MY RESPECT. IT HAS BEEN WONDERFUL KNOWING YOU. YOU ARE SO COOL." he said, on the verge of tears. You were sure he said you were cool about five times after that, but you weren't listening.

"Sure." you said as you lied down to sleep.

You are Anonymo. You forgot your name because it doesn't matter. You're dreaming, but you don't know that. Some chick blue horse thing won't leave you alone, so you decided to assert your dominance.

"I AM RULER OF ALL. I AM SUPER GUY." you said as you slapped the female blue horse. She invaded your home thing. You weren't sure of the home thing because you were never thinking about a home thing and now you think that you're in a field, but forget that. None of this matters because you don't have any viable thought processes.

"VIABLE IS A FUNNY WORD, DO YOU SAY?" you ask the blue pony of which you slapped.

"W-where are we?" asks the blue pony. Now that you look at the pony, it kinda looks like that moon bitch that rules with Celesto or something. Did Celesto have, like, three horns? Wasn't moon pone named Luna? You forget.


"Why does the scenery keep changing?" asks Luna.

"Why don't you ever shut up?" you say. Luna is flabbergasted.

"Hold up. I gotta count my fingers." you say as you hold up a finger signifying one moment to Luna. You forgot that you had ten fingers on your other hand.

"Which one's left again?" you ask.

"Why does that matter?" replied Luna.

"I told you to shut up, hoe." you spat.

You are Luna. Again, you won't bother with any introductions because anyone reading this should know who you are.

Anon's dreams are a bit unsettling, even for you. Even though you were the night, Anon's dreams were like hell. You still couldn't solve the mystery or the meaning behind any of these dreams.

"Hey, look! It's a super market! My family's there, too!" says Anon, pointing at a rather large building labeled "Wal-Mart" on the front. It was an unsettling blue and the lights on the sign were fading. A group of other humans are standing at the entrance.

"Let's say hi, faithful companion. Follow the hands. Follow the fist ball man." says Anon right as he strolls on over to the humans standing at the entrance.

"ANONYMOUS. YOU ARE SUPER FAILURE, YOU HAVEN'T EVEN DONE ANY HOMEWORK." says a feminine looking older human. You suspect that is his mother.

"Oh mom, you're so retarded. It's because I don't work at home." said Anon. Your jaw dropped. Never in the many years you have lived have you ever heard anyone disrespect their mother like that. Anon is now holding a metal object in his hand. He pointed it at his mother.

"Fucker." said Anon as the metal object in his hand made a deafening pop sound. You look at his mother to find she's now laying on the ground with a pool of blood flowing out of her head. You gulp.

"Thanks, son. You're a good kid." said the older Anon clone.

"You're a bad dad." said Anon as he made the metal thing pop again, and now his dad was dead too. You were pretty sure you wet the bed, and not the other wet. You're sickened by this display.

Anonymous looks at you.

"BLUE MAN, WATCH OUT. ALIENS ARE HERE. BIG SHIP. BIG TIME TROUBLE." he frantically says as he rushes to get in the super market via the entrance. He successfully made it inside the building, but you were confused by his statement. What could he mean by aliens? You hear a low, bone chilling vibrating noise above you. Everyone in the Walmart pony-less carriage stationing area started screaming and running aimlessly around.

You look up, and gasp. The largest entity you have ever seen in your long life is now floating above you in the sky. You start levitating without you wishing to do so. You are taken by surprise as you are lifted into the mother ship, and you are flooded by a vision of white.

You are Anonymous. You slept like a baby last night. You were pretty sure something was haunting you in your dreams, but you can't really remember your dreams all that well. You look over at your bedside clock and see that it's seven in the morning to the exact second. You cursed to yourself to have fallen to the establishment's sleep bug, but oh well. You're hungry and you've got plenty of time for breakfast.

In the cafeteria, you take a salad of spinach without any dressing. Pure and simple healthy food. You remember when you were a kid, and that you'd always put whip cream all over your spinach and then eat it. You were a strange lad.

After breakfast, you look at the clock and see that you have thirty minutes to go before it's eight. You tell yourself to find your way to the strange hall designation in fifteen minutes. Despite the freedom you're allowed, it seems you haven't explored the entirety of the prison. Sure, you knew where the Overseer's office was and you know where to get to the main exciting areas. You haven't really explored all the boring but interesting areas.

Now's your chance to see the rest of the prison. You felt like a freshman in high-school, kept in the same hallway for the entire year, devoid of any actual exploration. You choose a random hallway and then walk down it. At the end of the hallway, there is only one door. It seems to be a janitor's closet. On the door, it read "Please do not enter! This is a legitimate janitor's closet!"

You open the door, disregarding any rules told to you earlier in one of the many collective briefings. You were going to check out all the sick gear that janitors were given. Your time in the Corps meant that you were a legendary cleaner. No one could beat you in the art of mopping the floor.

You take a step in, and find that despite what the door said, it's not a janitor closet at all. It's a stairway. The stairway is dark, too. As you stepped in you kicked up a cloud of dust, signifying that nobody has been here for quite some time.

"Aaaaaanon~!" you hear a feminine voice say in the distance. You didn't think of it because you're not giving whoever said that voice any power, so therefore you never heard a voice say anything. You decide the best course of action is to walk down the stairway.

Demon Anon

by catnyp

Anon Goes to Prison

by catnyp