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Alien encounters

By SmutAnon
Created: 2022-11-29 23:57:39
Updated: 2024-02-13 23:02:33
Expiry: Never
romance/rgre/nsfwspitfiregreentextsexhumanfleetfootrgre

  1. >Be Spitfire.
  2. >Captain of the Wonderbolts, a total badflank, a real paragon of mareness, kickflank flier, smoking hot, all of that jazz.
  3. >Also, currently, seriously frustrated.
  4. >You're in your office, staring down your second in command.
  5. >Fleetfoot.
  6. >You're doing your best "narrow-eyed glare" that you're able to pull off.
  7. >It doesn't bother the other mare in the slightest.
  8. >She's wearing the biggest, the most manure-eating grin you've ever seen.
  9. >And she's been doing it for the ENTIRE WEEK.
  10. >Seriously. You're not exaggerating.
  11. >You barely saw her with any kind of a different expression, and even then, she'd just smile lightly, instead of the mad grin.
  12. >She'd smile even while eating food or doing other things.
  13. >Even when standing in formation, Celestia damn it!
  14. >She'd pull the grin back to just a slight upturn of her lips, but immediately after, it would be back in full force.
  15. "Alright, spill."
  16. >"Captain?"
  17. >She tilts her head in a questioning manner, but the grin remains.
  18. "What the hay is it? Someone sell you some kind of new drug? Or you've just been snorting breezie powder the whole week? Magic mushrooms? No, those cause hallucinations, not the giggles..."
  19. >She actually looks a little taken aback.
  20. >"Ma'am, do you really think that... I'm... On drugs?"
  21. >As she says it, her face darkens, and the grin disappears for the first time in a week.
  22. >Her posture remains perfect, but her expression shows her emotions perfectly.
  23. >She feels betrayed by the question.
  24. >You can understand it. Fleetfoot's not just an excellet lieutenant, she's a total sis.
  25. >So the accusation must have taken her by surprise.
  26. >You just don't see any alternatives, though.
  27. "I'll be honest with you, Fleetfoot. The only reason I didn't drag you to the doctor and punched you in the bladder to get a piss sample is because of the trust you've built up over the years. Anyone else, well..."
  28. >"Wow. Okay. Well, I-"
  29. >You interrupt.
  30. "And don't give me any of that "I got laid." manure you told the team on Monday. It's fun, sure. For a while. An hour or less. No stallion can rut you so good you can't stop smiling for a whole damned week."
  31. >Aaaand the grin is back.
  32. >"Well, you see Ma'am, they're not stallions, they're *men*. Aliens from a different reality, you know? Totally different beast."
  33. >You groan, facehoofing with both forelegs.
  34.  
  35. >Humans.
  36. >She's talking about humans.
  37. >Those weird aliens that Equestria made contact with over a year ago.
  38. >Well, as far as aliens go, they weren't all that weird.
  39. >In how they looked, at least. They were not gray-skinned thin ponies with oversized black eyes or slimy balls of tentacles or whatever else the comic books came up with.
  40. >There were far, far weirder things roaming Equestria.
  41. >Compared to some of the things you saw, they looked positively mundane.
  42. >That's where the normalcy ended, though.
  43. >You move your hooves from your face to your temples, massaging you head and trying to remember everything that you know about them.
  44. >The truly alien parts were their homeworld, and their minds.
  45. >You couldn't begin to imagine what kind of beings would evolve in a world with no magic.
  46. >You saw some wide-eyed humans muttering about "witchcraft" and making weird gestures at seeing the most basic unicorn levitation.
  47. >You and your team were assigned as high-tier escorts/bodyguards to humans a bunch of times, so you certainly were not completely clueless about them.
  48. >It wasn't even remotely part of your usual duties, but given that you were, technically, the highest representative of a military branch, they trotted you out to "get familiar with our possible future friends".
  49. >Typical political garbage.
  50. >Quite obviously, both sides were very well trained in saying only what you're supposed to say, which resulted in the usual exchange of polite formalities without actually saying anything.
  51. >Still, you got a very surface-level amount of knowledge, so mission accomplished, you suppose.
  52. >Anyway, the suits eventually managed to hammer something out after a few months of sniffing each other's butts, or whatever was it that diplomats did.
  53. >Or bureuacrats. From the way they talked, you didn't see all that much difference between the two.
  54. >Either way, a treaty was created, borders acknowledged, visitor policy set out, yadda yadda.
  55. >There was a big, dramatic signing event, where you got to stand in formation for an hour and look cool.
  56. >Yay.
  57. >With that, civilian humans began to arrive.
  58. >Or, rather non-politician humans. Or something. Whatever.
  59. >Clearly, whatever brochures about Equestria the human politicians prepared, if they did it at all, were not sufficient.
  60. >The tourists were wide-eyed and slackjawed, gawking at everything like a bunch of country bumpkins.
  61. >Which was weird, since humans apparently had engineering capabilities far beyond even what most of the wildest science fiction authors thought up.
  62. >They had to adapt due to not having magic, apparently. And adapt they did.
  63. >You've seen the photos of their world, brought back by the pony diplomats.
  64. >You're sure that, just like Equestria, the human politicians carefully herded them around their best and most impressive locations.
  65. >Which were fairly impressive, you had to admit.
  66. >Anyway, what caused such fascination was not Equestrian architecture or other advancements, but magic.
  67. >And ponies.
  68. >They had no other intelligent species on their world, so even meeting something else that talked was wild, apparently.
  69. >A little too wild. A number of incidents happened.
  70. >There was a case where some human mare - woman, you remind yourself - tried to snatch a little colt, which led to her getting the hay beaten out of her by the panicked and furious mother.
  71. >Her excuses that "she just wanted to pet him" fell on deaf ears, and she was promptly deported.
  72. >Seeing that the portal was magical, and Equestria was the nation with the magic, they had a pretty tight deal on controlling who came and who stayed.
  73. >Some humans were very belligerent, calling ponies "talking horses" and flinging other insults.
  74. >They'd usually get into a fight and get the horseshoe as well.
  75. >You really didn't understand why would they come here in the first place, just to cause trouble.
  76. >Some people had too much free time.
  77. >Human foals were known to be absolute terrors as well, especially the girls.
  78. >While most ponies were patient with foals, the things the human kids did crossed the line. It was outright assault, in some cases.
  79. >Yanking on ponie's manes, screaming at them to "do tricks" or even that they "wanted to keep them", which, with the story about that woman's attempt to snatch a colt, made most ponies wary about having foals near humans.
  80. >Sure, fillies were rowdy, but that's what mothers were for - to enforce discipline and guide that marely aggression towards constructive pursuits.
  81. >Pretty much everypony agreed that the human mothers were absolutely crap at being parents.
  82. >Hay, their fathers often had to be the ones to step in, and even then, the mothers would usually try to scold them.
  83. >Disgraceful.
  84. >Some of the more outspoken mares didn't bother keeping their disdain a secret, openly shaming the women's lackadaisical behavior.
  85. >Things got heated a number of times.
  86. >For some reason, the women got unspeakably surprised when, every time they said something that would earn you a hoof to the face, they got a hoof to the face.
  87. >And then they'd scream their heads off like they weren't asking for it!
  88. >Seriously.
  89.  
  90. >Talk crap, get smacked, your mother always said.
  91. >You'd think that a spate of such incidents right from the get-go would be enough to cut contact completely, but all the smooth-talkers were assuring everyone on both sides that there were just some bumps in the road which were bound to happen when in contact with actual aliens.
  92. >Which was a fair point.
  93. >And, true to the predictions, it all quieted down soon.
  94. >Though there were rumors that it was simply because women almost completely stopped coming to Equestria after hearing how "misogynist" the ponies were, whatever that word meant.
  95. >Apparently, Equestria gained a bad reputation among the female humans.
  96. >But a far more interesting one among the males.
  97. >Instead of being afraid of the "violent" mares, they still came to Equestria like nothing happened, some of then even laughing about the whole thing.
  98. >By this point, everyone had figured out that something was up.
  99. >The human diplomats were male, the guards were male, even the scientists that attempted to study magic were almost all male.
  100. >As it turned out, it wasn't some attempt to seduce them by sending the equivalent of sexy colts in uniform, or due to humans having old traditions of having elite squads of stallions with the mares being grunts, like some ancient Equestrian cultures did.
  101. >Apparently, the men were the mares and the women were the stallions.
  102. >Which put the incidents of the women getting a beating in a rather different light.
  103. >Whoops.
  104. >The vast majority of ponies were quite skeptical of the claims of "reversed gender roles", though.
  105. >Inevitably, the arrival of thousands upon thousands of single, exotic stallions - men - caught the attention of all kinds of mares.
  106. >Things happened.
  107. >Not sexy things, not at first at least. Lots of talking had to happen before that.
  108. >The men still needed to get over the whole "Wow, I'm actually talking to another species and I'm on an alien world with different laws of physics" thing first.
  109. >And then there was the fact that they didn't understand when mares were flirting with them.
  110. >Completely different body language and cues, apparently.
  111. >Anyway, with all the talking and attempting to understand how to politely invite a human into their bedroom, the mares started hearing a lot of stories about abusive women.
  112. >A LOT.
  113. >There were hundreds, if not thousands, of letters sent to various newspapers by mares trying to befriend humans (or to get laid).
  114. >So many stories about damaged col- Men. So many.
  115. >Since humans were all the rage, many personal stories of ponie's interactions with humans were printed to help Equestrians better understand them, and that included the stories of abuse.
  116. >Hence, the disbelief at the gender roles thing.
  117. >The women sounded just like the husband-beaters here in Equestria.
  118. >Claiming to be horribly overworked while bringing in little to no money and doing practically nothing, spending their time out drinking "with the girls", while the poor husbands suffered silently while doing their best to keep their families together.
  119. >The justice system was obviously ruled by women as well, always taking children away from the men and leaving them with the women, instead.
  120. >Who leaves foals, kids, or any other kinds of children with the abuser?!
  121. >Not to mention, they went by the old, barbaric law of "mares inherit the land and the property", leaving the men with nothing if they got divorced.
  122. >And when some eager journalists went to Earth go make some interviews and find out more about the situation, the women they talked to actually claimed that the men were the actual abusers and they had all the power, completely keeping women down.
  123. >They're in charge, and yet they lose their livelihoods and custody almost every single time they try to flee an abusive wife?
  124. >Yeah, right.
  125. >No one bought the obvious lies and gaslighting.
  126. >Sure, ponies did accept that men were far more marely than stallions, some men even marelier than mares.
  127. >They *were* aliens after all, and their gender ratio was 1:1, which obviously meant that the men had to work more and harder, making them much tougher.
  128. >However, even if they were a species of all janefillies, that did not excuse the abuse by women, which extremely obviously still were the dominant gender that was holding all the power, no matter how much they tried to blatantly lie about it.
  129. >Lots of ponies were disappointed to learn that such a seemingly advanced civilization was still living with such outdated societal norms.
  130. >There were some calls to close the portal again, but those were few and far between.
  131. >For the most part, the men were perfectly well behaved, and the women were staying on the other side of the portal, which suited everypony just fine.
  132. >There were lots of sympathetic hugs for the men.
  133. >Nuzzles.
  134. >Compliments.
  135. >Gentle encouragement.
  136. >[spoiler]Sympathy sex.[/spoiler]
  137. >When it finally happened, the last one really flipped everything on it's head.
  138. >It turned out, men were animals in the sack.
  139. >Not crude or forceful, no.
  140. >But energetic, highly interested in your pleasure, and very, very, VERY willing.
  141. >At least, that's what the rumors said.
  142. >You never cared much about gossiping like a colt, though you did want to know about the latest happenings in the world.
  143. >The newspapers were all writing about it too, getting flooded with various guides of how to go about seducing humans and stories of amazing encounters that supposedly left the mares dizzy with pleasure.
  144. >The news broke only a few months ago, so you're pretty sure that the vast majority of those "guides" and stories are complete bunk.
  145. >In their rush to cover the latest "breaking news", the journos always rushed to get *anything* out first, only checking whether it was even remotely true later, if at all.
  146. >Fleetfoot, however, dove right into it with wild abandon.
  147. >Which lead you to where you are right now.
  148. >In your office, still staring at your second in command that was still grinning like a complete loon.
  149. >Some fifteen minutes had passed since you went silent.
  150. >Fleetfoot didn't show any signs of discomfort, though.
  151. >You knew she wouldn't. She wasn't your second for nothing.
  152. >You groan.
  153. "Alright, so... You're still going to seriously claim that the psychotic grin you've been wearing all week is the result of- what? A one-night stand with a human?"
  154. >"Yup!" She chirped happily.
  155. >At your raised eyebrow, she added "Ma'am."
  156. >You lean back in your chair, not sure how to proceed.
  157. >It is Friday, and past the time you'd let everyone off for the weekend.
  158. >Should you just accept her at face value and let this whole thing go?
  159. >Not like there was anything else to do, honestly.
  160. >Besides the lack of discipline in regards to her facial muscles, Fleetfoot didn't break any rules.
  161. >Her flying was good and sharp, even better than usual.
  162. >Which is partly what gave you the suspicion about drugs, or performance enhancers of some kind.
  163. >Though, apparently, she was just "high on life", or whatever.
  164. "Alright. One last time. You're not abusing substances of any kind?"
  165. >"No, Ma'am!"
  166. "Alright then. Fine. At ease, Lieutenant. Shift's over. Let's go home, or... You can go find more aliens to bang, or something."
  167. >She relaxes her posture, stretching out her hindlegs one by one.
  168. >"You know what, Spitfire? That's EXACTLY what I'm going to do. I'm going to fly over to Canterlot, scour the bars and the human hangouts, and find myself a sexy alien stud that's going to light my world on fire. And you know what else?"
  169. >You roll your eyes at the blatant bragging.
  170. >Fleetfoot was never the "stallion slayer" type, so it's a bit strange to hear such things from her now.
  171. "No, I don't. What else, Fleet?"
  172. >"Permission to speak freely?"
  173. "You- what? I already said..."
  174. >You stop, confused.
  175. >What they hay is that about?
  176. >You can only guess that she's about to say something that would piss you off.
  177. >You glare at her again.
  178. >She's still unphazed, though her grin has turned into a small, somewhat melancholy smile.
  179. "Okay, permission granted. Shoot."
  180. >"You should come with me, Spits, before your crusty cunt dries out completely, and you end up trailing cunt flakes behind you every time you fly.
  181. >Your jaw drops.
  182. >That was one of those. A "I'm asking for a hoof to the face" insult.
  183. >She never, ever said anything remotely like that to you before.
  184. >You're too stunned to even get angry.
  185. "What the hay, Fleetfoot? Where in the actual Tartarus did that come from?!"
  186. >She takes a deep breath holding up a hoof.
  187. >"Alright, hear me out. That was to shock you, and to show you that I mean business. I want you to know that I'm deadly serious about this."
  188. >You nod slowly, making a "go on" motion with a hoof.
  189. >She stomps right up to you, getting her muzzle inches from yours.
  190. >"Spitfire. Sis. You? You need to get laid."
  191. >Okay, now you're angry.
  192. >You snarl furiously, grabbing her by the neck and shaking her.
  193. "The buck did you just say?! You think you can talk such manure about me and then crack jokes?!"
  194. >Her grin is gone. It's almost more disturbing than when she was smiling.
  195. >She looks at you sadly, not even trying to resist.
  196. >"Sis... What happened to you? Sure, you're a hothead. SpitFIRE, and all that. But you reined that in. Always held up discipline. A few years back, you wouldn't have lost your cool like that."
  197. >You stop, dropping her from your grasp.
  198. >A frown forms on your face.
  199. >You open your mouth to say something, but she's faster.
  200. >Shoving a hoof in your mouth to shut you up, she starts talking quickly.
  201. >"Look at me, Spitfire. We joined this team together. Rose through the ranks. You were lively. Fast, fiery, *passionate*. Not this... Broken, bitter, smoldering volcano that's about to explode. What happened to you? Look at me, Spitfire. Look me in the eye and tell me you would have exploded the same way you did just now five years ago. Hay, three or two years ago, even."
  202. >You stop, squinting at her.
  203. >Is this even Fleetfoot? Did some changeling replace her?
  204. >No, can't be. She knows too much about the past.
  205. >Yet, you still didn't expect her to start talking about feelings like some colt.
  206. >You remove her hoof, thinking about what she said.
  207. "..."
  208. >You want to deny everything that she said. But damn it, she's right.
  209. >She takes your silence as a signal to continue.
  210. >"Did you just get into your "drill sergeant" persona too hard? You know that that's supposed to be an act, right? If you can't loosen up a little and blow off some steam, you're going to end up blowing your top REAL bad some day."
  211. >You sigh.
  212. "No, Fleetfoot, I didn't. At least, I don't think I did. This job, it... It's a lot more stress than I thought it'd be. I'm a good flier. But maybe I'm not such a good Captain after all."
  213. >"Don't give me that manure. You're great, and you know it. You just need to blow off some steam, before you... Hay, I don't know, snap and scream at a civilian or something. Bit by bit, you're turning into an actual cunt instead of the "loveable hardflank" that a Captain's supposed to be."
  214. >You snort.
  215. "And what's your solution? Go rut an alien?"
  216. >She smiles again, though it's a gentle smile this time.
  217. >"Only if you want to. It certainly worked for me. Hay, go get drunk, if that's what you're into. Or anything else. Come on, don't tell me you don't have *any* way to relieve stress. Still, though, I do recommend a good rutting. It's both the most ancient and the most effective way to relieve stress, you know."
  218. >You snort again, though you can't keep a small smile off your face too.
  219. "I don't think I'm into your aliens, Fleetfoot. They still weird me out a little."
  220. >"Then let's go grab a stallion for you. Come on, I'll be your wingmare, not that you need one. You're the captain of the Wonderbolts, for Celestia's sake."
  221. >You sigh, rolling your eyes a little.
  222. >Depositing your glasses into a drawer in your desk, you shed your uniform.
  223. "Come on, let's get flying. I'm going to Canterlot anyway, so we can talk on the way."
  224.  
  225. >Leaving your uniforms for the maintenance staff to deal with, the two of you launch into the air.
  226. >Though you're going at a fair clip, for a pair of Wonderbolts, it's just regular cruising speed.
  227. >You wonder whether you should say something first.
  228. >Fleetfoot takes the lead, though.
  229. >"So when was the last time you got laid, anyway?"
  230. >You roll your eyes.
  231. "Before I became Captain, I think.
  232. >She lets out a long whistle.
  233. >"Damn, mare I don't think that's healthy. I mean, rubbing one out is fine and all, but there's nothing quite like getting filled, you know?"
  234. >You don't even bother replying to that.
  235. >"So, what happened, anyway? Why'd you stop? Did you just get a stallion that was so terrible in bed that it put you off sex forever? Or... Did you realize you're... Not into stallions?"
  236. >You turn to glare at her again, ineffective as that is.
  237. >As expected, she's unphazed.
  238. "You're really trying to get your flank kicked, aren't you?"
  239. >She bursts out laughing as you huff.
  240. >"What? It's an honest, one hundred percent serious question. You're still into stallions, right?"
  241. "Yes, damn it. Yes I am. Momma didn't raise no dyke."
  242. >"Alright, so. Care to tell me what happened?"
  243. >You mull on the question for a bit.
  244. >What did happen?
  245. >You're honestly not too sure yourself.
  246. "I really don't know. The hassle got too much, I guess."
  247. >"Hassle? Of what, picking up stallions? I guess I can sort of get that when you're a rookie, but it should be way easier now that you're Captain, right?"
  248. "Not... Exactly. More like, the whole... Attention thing. Reporters. Or, rather, the paparazzi scum. It's like I can't even give a colt a ride without it becoming national news. And yeah, I know that the only ones that write about those things are celebrity gossip cumrags. It's still annoying, having to dodge and sneak so some scumbag doesn't catch me in the moment when my tail's lifted and wrapped around some colt's face. It just pisses me off, and takes the whole fun out of it."
  249. >You knew that the situation was the same for the rest of the team, too, at least in regards to the paparazzi.
  250. >They had to have their fun discreetly, or get hounded for weeks by morons asking them for comments and whether they're "giving up their athletic careers and settling down" and similar garbage. Sometimes, the flankholes would even harass the stallions that they had fun with.
  251. >Worse if the stallion they ended up with turned out to be some bit-digger whorse and ended up selling the story of their "encounter", or worse, tried to insinuate that they'd accuse you of rape and just straight up asked for bits.
  252. >...You were probably overly paranoid about it.
  253. >The second thing only happened once, you think, before you even became Captain.
  254. >Most of the fancolts were fine, and understood that a roll in the hay with a Wonderbolt was only a one-time thing.
  255. >You all did have your very busy careers to focus on, after all.
  256. >Still, though, you meant what you said.
  257. >The whole... "Thing" surrounding simply getting laid made you too angry to actually enjoy the experience.
  258. >Which, long-term, probably just left you even more frustrated.
  259. >"Huh."
  260. >Fleetfoot rubs her chin, thinking it over.
  261. >You tilt a wing, spinning lazily in a slow corksrcew, just feeling the air flowing through your coat and feathers.
  262. >Flying used to relax you too, but it hasn't been enough lately.
  263. >Damn it. Fleetfoot's probably right.
  264. >You need a good injection of vitamin D[spoiler]amn massive, rock-hard, throbbing cock.[/spoiler]
  265. >A few minutes of flying later, she speaks up again.
  266. >"So, it really ruins the mood that bad for you?"
  267. "I guess? I mean, I'm good to go, sure. I can get wet enough for half a dozen stallions. But with how frustrated I get, I think I end up going a little too hard. You know how soft stallions are, and we're athletes in our primes, too."
  268. >Fleetfoot chortles.
  269. >"Wohoho! What happened? Did you ride some poor colt so silly that he passed out? Or squeezed him hard enough to force all the blood out of his dick? Heh!"
  270. >Snorting, you shake your head with a small smile.
  271. "Nothing that bad. But I do think I scared the last one I was with pretty badly. I pushed against him and kept telling him to go harder. Afterwards, he kept insisting that it was "the most intense experience ever" and "that he should have known that a Wonderbolt would be absolutely wild", but I could see that he was nearly panicking, babbling wildly with his eyes wide as saucers. That was a massive turn-off, to say the least."
  272. >"Oh, wow. That's... Well, I had some bad sex with some really lazy colts that just flopped like a fish and expected me to do all the work, but that sounds way worse. You didn't *actually* hurt him, did you?"
  273. "Hay no, he was fine. Even started timidly suggesting a second round when I held him for a while and he calmed down, but the mood was thoroughly dead by that point."
  274. >"And they say angry sex is the greatest thing ever. Guess it doesn't work when only one participant is angry."
  275.  
  276. >You chuckle a little, though the joke doesn't tickle you nearly as it used to.
  277. >Your expression turns into a frown again moments later.
  278. >You give Fleetfoot a sidelong glance as you're flying.
  279. >Looks like you're going to owe her.
  280. >Big time.
  281. >Not for offering her help as a wingmare, no.
  282. >But for knocking some sense into you.
  283. >That was a real sis thing of her to do.
  284. >Before, you thought she turned dyke all of a sudden, talking about feelings and crap.
  285. >Hoo colt, were you wrong.
  286. >Unlike what some prissy stallions said, mares did have emotions, oh yes.
  287. >They just dealt with them differently.
  288. >Stallions babbled to each other day and night, while mares were strong and just dealt with it without needing to cry on someone's shoulder.
  289. >Every now and then, though, even the strongest mare needed a friendly punch to the face as a wakeup call.
  290. >Not every mare had close enough friends that would be able to both see that you're going off the rails, and be trusted enough for you to actually get the message instead of punching back.
  291. >And Fleetfoot was that kind of mare for you.
  292. >While she's thinking about something, you comb through your memory.
  293. >Little incidents, flashes of anger here and there.
  294. >Feeling angry at things that wouldn't have phased you before.
  295. >You really were turning into a total cunt, weren't you?
  296. >"Were". You more than likely still are.
  297. >Next thing you know, you'll turn into that wrinkly, twisted-limbed, crotchety old mare that yells at foals to get off her lawn.
  298. >Bleh.
  299. >Fleetfoot speaks up again.
  300. >"You know, I'm not sure that getting a good lay is even going to help you all that much. I mean, it will, but it kind of sounds like what you need is an actual coltfriend that you can return to every evening and get your screws tightened. No sneaking, no paparazzi, no need to go looking for targets every evening."
  301. >You sigh.
  302. "You know that the odds of it actually working out are not in my favor."
  303. >"Yeah, yeah, I'm just saying... It's still true, you know."
  304. >It is.
  305. >It'd be damn nice to get home and have a stallion waiting for you in a tight apron and a homecooked meal, giving you a choice of eating dinner or eating him on the dinner table. Prefferrably both, though not at the same time.
  306. >But stallions didn't like mares that worked long hours, toured Equestria for months without getting home and had other duties that kept them away from the nest.
  307. >They preferred the mares that spent time with them and soothed their fragile egos, even if the hard-working mare that wasn't at home much was bringing in the haybacon for the entire herd.
  308. >It was disappointing, but that was just how stallions were.
  309. >They really didn't have much of a head for how finances and the responsibility to be the provider worked, going by their emotions first and foremost.
  310. >Oh sure, any herd in the country would gladly take you.
  311. >For the bits.
  312. >You could be a lowly side-mare in some herd, barely getting some dick now and then, where by all rights you should be the absolute alpha.
  313. >There were multiple stories like this with athletes and other ponies in your field.
  314. >Sure, it didn't always go bust, but it was around 50/50.
  315. >The biggest scandal was when some big-shot hoofball star found a herd while she was still young, right after getting noticed.
  316. >She trusted her herd-sisters to keep the nest (and stallion) warm while she was travelling all over, kicking flanks and hoofballs left and right.
  317. >Made a bunch of bits, made sure that the herd wasn't hurting for anything.
  318. >When she retired young, as most real hardcore athletes tend to do (or they end up getting injured real bad), and came back home, she found the reception to be less than warm.
  319. >The stallion was being catty all the time, and the mares acted as if they were in charge.
  320. >When she confronted them about it, they started threatening to kick her out of the herd if she kept "acting out".
  321. >So she proceeded to kick them all out of her house, seeing as she was the one who owned it, entirely.
  322. >The dumb whorses ended up homeless immediately, seeing that all they really ever did was spend the mare's hard-earned bits and have fun.
  323. >You don't think there was a single real mare in Equestria that didn't gain a whole bunch of respect for her when they read that story.
  324. >Those losers really expected a total Trixie Thundercunt of such caliber to get cock-whipped into submission by their toy-colt.
  325. >Pfffff.
  326. >Some newspapers tried to drum up sympathy for the "poor" stallion, but you're pretty sure even the other stallions completely disowned him.
  327. >Either way, though, the situation unfortunately didn't change much after that story came out.
  328. >There was no cultural shift or anything. You still saw articles about similar stuff happening pop up now and then whenever you were reading the sports section.
  329. >Guess hoping for stallions to change and be a little more logical and reasonable would be too much to ask for.
  330. >Heh. Now that's a joke.
  331. >You're not sure what else to do, though.
  332. >Keep going like you are, and hope you don't blow up so hard it'd cause a career-ending incident?
  333. >Or drop everything and go for an early retirement before you can ruin the reputation you already built up?
  334. >Fleetfoot seemed to have other solutions, though.
  335. >"You know what you really need, Cap?"
  336. "Yeah? What's it going to be this time? More rutting? After getting a good screw, go out again? Twice the rutting? Rutting squared? Hay, grab multiple stallions and get spitroasted?"
  337. >"Woah! Now you're talking! The last one's a pretty good suggestion, you know!"
  338. >You roll your eyes.
  339. >"I'm not joking, by the way! Really, you have no idea what's it like to have two stallions at the same time mounting you, or their dicks spreading you wide, or feeling them pump their loads into you. It's something way different than just taking the feeling of what it's it like with one stallion and doubling it."
  340. >You look at her in disbelief.
  341. "Wait, did you actually...? With two stallions?"
  342. >She buffs her hoof against her chest tuff nonchalantly, her expression smug.
  343. >"Wellll, I'm not one to brag, but... Well, let's just say that if you didn't remove yourself from the game, then you'd have found out that it's even easier to get a stallion when you're not just a rookie in the Wonderbolts, but a prety high ranking veteran. And yes, even multiple stallions are possible, if you get real lucky."
  344. "Damn, mare. Nice."
  345. >She chuckles, puffing out her chest.
  346. "Alright, so what were you going to suggest before?"
  347. >"Hmmm? Oh yeah! What you really need is a human, Spitfire."
  348. "Really?"
  349. >She nods enthusiastically.
  350. >"Absolutely. I'm dead serious, you know. They're so different from stallions, in... So many ways. It's actually a put-off for some mares, but a perfect solution for the ones in unusual situations. Like ours."
  351. >You think on her words.
  352. >You're highly tempted to just dismiss her.
  353. >However, she turned out to be correct about a whole lot of things so far.
  354. >The least you could do is hear her out.
  355. >And maybe find out just what the Tartarus did that human that she slept with did to her to make her smile like a maniac for a whole damn week.
  356. "You really like them, huh?"
  357. >She nods vigorously.
  358. >"Buck yeah. They're awesome."
  359. "Alright. I honestly can't imagine letting one do anything to me in the bedroom, but I'm open to having my mind changed. Let's hear it. What's the big deal with these humans?"
  360. >"Really? Sweet! Alright, where to start..."
  361. "How'd you even get into them, anyway?"
  362. >"Okay then, from the beginning. Remember that week where half the team got feather flu?"
  363. >You nod. A few months ago, someone caught something, likely from some overeager fan that didn't think that their cough was anything that would end up grounding the team.
  364. >You ended up giving everyone two week's vacation to make sure it completely ran it's course before everyone could return to work.
  365. >"Well, I was fine, and I didn't want to just sit on my flank for two weeks, you know? We're mares of action! And the news about how supposedly wild the humans were in bed just broke a few days ago back then, so I thought I'd go and see what the big deal was about. I honestly didn't think much of it - I thought I'd just have some fun, maybe it'd be a little different, like the difference between a pegasus and an earth pony stallion, right?"
  366. >You nod, showing her that you're still listening.
  367. >"Well, I didn't get laid. At all. Heh."
  368. "I'm guessing the men still didn't get the memo back then?"
  369. >She chuckles, shaking her head.
  370. >"Nope, still completely clueless that I was flirting with them. Hay, I'm sure plenty of them would have been willing, heck, raring to go, even, but they really had no clue that half the mares around them would happily take them then and there if they so much as waved their tails at them."
  371. "Wait. Humans... Don't have tails."
  372. >"Well yeah, exactly. They can't move their ears either, or use a lot of other kinds of body language that we use. Makes some ponies nervous."
  373. >That was true. A lot of other 'Bolts said that it was very hard to read humans during the debriefings after your "diplomatic bodyguard" missions.
  374. >"Anyway, I did end up talking to them a whole lot, about all kinds of things. Alien things. Their world, the stuff they built... Honestly, it was amazing. I'm no nerd, but they have the coolest toys. No mare could remain completely uninterested in the stuff they have."
  375. >That was true.
  376. >While there were some great mages among the stallions - they kept bringing up Starswirl the Bearded, and you had serious respect for the power Shining Armor wielded - the tinkerers and mechanics were pretty much exclusively mares.
  377. >Sure, there were some hobbyist stallions, but all the real greasy, sooty, sweaty and otherwise nasty positions where you'd get covered in grime were held by mares.
  378. >And humans did have some really wild technology.
  379. >"Which is the same for a great many other mares, certainly every mare that I talked to. They'd try to talk up a man at a bar, expecting some colty gossip or babble for a few minutes while she buttered him up before dragging him off back to her place, the whole thing taking fifteen minutes, tops. And then, it'd end up a three-hour session of listening to them talk about spaceships, rockets, faster-than-sound airships, instant communication across the entire planet, and all kinds of other things."
  380. "Heh."
  381. >You could believe it. You were certainly interested in their technology yourself, though for slightly different reasons.
  382. >The "instant communication" part almost made your head explode with possibilities when you heard about it.
  383. >It changed military engagements *completely*. If someone could have instant, clear communication with every soldier in an army, across continents, well...
  384. >Like you said, the possibilities were endless.
  385. >There were some deep discussions with other high-rank ponies and the princesses about how human technology could cause very real upheaval in Equestrian society.
  386. >On the face of it, it sounded like a massive force for good, which could improve the quality of life immensely, pulling your technological level hundreds of years into the future.
  387. >As long as it was applied carefully and the humans weren't hiding any side effects or caveats when they were trying to sell them, of course.
  388. >So, the princesses assigned ponies to thoroughly examine everything the humans offered them, to make sure that the introduction of the human advancements would be a renaissance and a rebirth, not a bloody revolution.
  389. "Alright, and then what happened? That was months ago, so... Was last week when you finally got laid? It took you *months* just to get a human into bed with you?"
  390. >Her smile turns a little crooked.
  391. >"Well, not THAT long, though I actually gave up trying to bed one for a while and just tried to learn what makes them tick, or wanted to learn more about the cool stuff from their world. It caught me like nothing before. They're really fascinating. I mean, it makes sense, right? They ARE interdimensional aliens."
  392. "So you really went for a deep dive into humanity during those weeks off?"
  393. >"Totally. So yeah, for a while, I almost forgot that the first goal was to get humanity to take a deep dive into me."
  394. >You both chuckle.
  395. >"But when I realized that I wasn't even trying to bed the guys, then it kind of hit me that I could probably ask them questions that would otherwise mean they wouldn't want to rut me, either."
  396. "Questions like?"
  397. >"So, what do you think of having sex with a buff pegasus?"
  398. >You snort.
  399. "Subtle as a train wreck. No stallion in Equestria would take you like that. Don't tell me that actually worked on the humans."
  400. >"Ha! No. They'd just start sputtering, their eyes bugging out. Not because they were angry or insulted, but - as they told me - they never actually thought about it before."
  401. "For real?"
  402. >"Yeah. Want to know a secret about human psychology that I learned? What they think about us?"
  403. >That sounded intriguing.
  404. "Shoot."
  405. >"They think we're cute."
  406. "Wait, what? They think we're cute and they never though about having sex with us? How the hay does that even work?"
  407. >"Not "Oh, that stallion's cute, I want his dick inside me" cute. More like "Aww, that's an adorable little kitten" cute. They think we're literally cute."
  408. "Whaaat? What, they thought that about you, too? You're a buff, strapping, marely mare with a tuft to be jealous of. And they think you're... Cute?"
  409. >"Yup! "Absolutely adorable, liable to give someone diabetes or a heart attack", as one man told me. Speaking of tufts, apparently, when mares would fluff their tufts at them, they didn't find it intimidating or arousing, oh no. They found it *extra* cute."
  410. "That's, that's..."
  411. >You're struck speechless for a while.
  412. >Talk about signals getting mixed up.
  413.  
  414. "Alright, hold up. There's gotta be something that they would understand, besides just straight up saying "hey, you want sum fuk?" Like, uh... Well, surely some mare got frustrated and just lifted her tail at them, or something?"
  415. >Lifting your tail was a risky maneuver, to say the least.
  416. >Most stallions absolutely refused to give you the time of day if you didn't spend some time buttering them up first.
  417. >The only advantage of it was the expediency, due to the sheer bluntness of the act - you'd know immediately whether a stallion was interested or not.
  418. >It might work for famous mares like you or Fleetfoot, but a regular mare would more than likely get dirty looks or even get yelled at.
  419. >"Oh, sure. They'd just politely avert their eyes, though, or that's what they told me. Or just wouldn't care, since we're always naked. They have this whole thing with clothes, right?"
  420. "Isn't that to keep them warm? They're originally from some kind of warm regions, and they adapted by making clothes, or something like that. I think I remember them explaining it in the early conversations."
  421. >"Yeah, but they need to get naked to actually go at it, so not wearing anything is lewd for them. Except with ponies, they just sort of accepted that we're naked almost all the time, so they didn't see it as sexy."
  422. "Wait, so we need to cover up for them to see us as attractive?"
  423. >"Kind of. I mean, that's not all that different from ponies. Who doesn't like a stallion in socks?"
  424. "Huh. Aliens are weird."
  425. >"I know, right? See, after a while I ended up talking to a bunch of mares too. A lot of them started working together to crack the mysteries of humans after they saw that they were getting almost nowhere by themselves. Sharing intel and all that. And, get this: they find mares in socks sexy. Also panties."
  426. "No way. Mares? In socks?"
  427. >"And panties!"
  428. "Socks are for stallions! And dykes!"
  429. >"I know!"
  430. >You shake your head. Those humans have some weird kinks.
  431. "So, what, they like emaresculating mares? Did you wear socks for the guy you were with, too?"
  432. >From the corner of your eyes, you see her eyes dart back and forth.
  433. >"Nope! Totally not, heh heh. And, uh, no, they're not into humiliating mares. They don't even see it as that. They just have different cultural connotations to lots of things, you know?"
  434. "Right..."
  435. >The doubt in your voice is rather obvious.
  436. >Fleetfoot gets the idea that you're not really getting sold on the humans.
  437. >Undaunted, she ploughs on.
  438. >"Anyway, the mare that told me that learned from firsthoof experience. She got a man to actually move in with her after a few weeks of dating, but had trouble making things sexy and turning him on. Massive blow to any mare's ego, right? Well, it took her a little while of poking and prodding her coltf- hm... Manfriend? Oh, whatever. Anyway, she tried to find out what men found attractive, and after a few attempts, got to the socks. Said she got the best ride of her life that night and finished five times."
  439. "Whoa. Okay. Wait, the man actually just... Straight up told her? And he wasn't... I don't know, being coy, or spent an hour leading her on first?"
  440. >"Nope. I told you, men are totally different from stallions. Apparently, they don't do that whole thing where they're super-obviously mad at you for whatever reason they think up but keep telling you "I'm fine" no matter how many times you ask what's wrong, they don't hang around in groups in public places talking crap about mares and bursting into giggles every time a mare trots by, they don't expect you to be a mind reader and magically know what was it that you did that set them off, they're perfectly capable and willing to sit down and have rational conversations to discuss things instead of emotionally blackmailing you or twisting your words into some kind of insane nonsense and then claiming they were right..."
  441. >Fleetfoot goes on like that for a little while.
  442. >Your eyes go a little wider with each thing she lists off.
  443. >Okay, now you're intrigued.
  444. >Obviously, the only knowledge of being in a herd that you have comes from second-hoof knowledge.
  445. >However, a rather large amount of that knowledge paints a rather disappointing picture.
  446. >Every time you'd hang around with other mares, sharing a drink or wherever else, just shooting the breeze, stallions would come up sooner or later.
  447. >And from the herded mares, there'd always be at least one, if not all, of them telling the others how they had to deal with some outburst or other from their stallions.
  448. >Anything from a whimsy fit where they'd "subtly hint" that the house needed a fresh coat of "more pleasant color" of paint, in a color they said was absolutely hideous not five minutes prior (and they'd say that again the second the house was repainted, obviously, demanding to put it back the way it was), to the aforementioned "I'm fine" insanity they seemed to be so fond of.
  449. >Stallions. Can't live with them, can't live without them.
  450. >The picture Fleetfoot is painting makes it look like the "can't live with them" part would disappear entirely.
  451. >If you herded with a human, that is.
  452. >That wasn't the current goal, though.
  453. >Meanwhile, Fleetfoot keeps going.
  454. >"And, get this - honestly, I'm not sure I even believe this one, but - men actually have a head for money. They don't ask you change the drapes every week or buy an entirely new set of furniture because the old one "clashes with the new drapes" or something. The mare said that he lived with her for a whole month and didn't even suggest that they'd redecorate or that they "needed something to brighten up the place.""
  455. "I think I can believe that one, actually. With how the human women have plenty of men to choose from, a lot of them end up alone for a long time and have to work to support themselves. Hay, a good chunk of the men that come to Equestria are single and come here with their own money, right? Which means that they have to know how to actually manage finances and stuff."
  456. >"Oh yeah, that makes sense. Mare, human society is messed up. Can you imagine if it was like that over here? There's probably not a mare that hadn't wished that there would be more stallions to go around at some point in her life, and how life would be easier and there would be less tension in society if they didn't have to compete with other mares so much. Instead, it turns out having more stallions would lead to every mare becoming a lazy husband-beater."
  457. "Yeah... No kidding. Really shows that those sociologists with their fancy degrees are just talking out of their tailholes when they write articles about how "society could be made better" if this or that happened. I mean, I know stallions can be a pain to deal with, but come on. Proper mares don't leave stallions to fend for themselves like those women do."
  458. >The two of you approach Canterlot, slowing down to a more city-friendly speed.
  459. >Fleetfoot takes the lead, flying past the fancy parts of town with all the noble's mansions to the more middle-class districts.
  460. >You clear your throat.
  461. "While that was very interesting and all, I'm not planning on shacking up with a human any time soon. I'm still not sure I even want to sleep with one. Can you tell me what was it so wild that gave you that week-long slasher grin? What, he made you cum a hundred times or something?"
  462. >"Oh, right. Well, no, he didn't. It was a... Combination of things."
  463. >She goes silent for a moment. You wait until she articulates whatever that she's trying to say in her head.
  464. >"To begin with, the sex was totally awesome, yes. I wasn't really counting, but he went three times that night, and then one more time the next morning when I gave him a good-morning blowjob as a wakeup present for such a great night before. He didn't let me finish him off, though, flipping me over and mounting me. I complained a little, but not very enthusiastically, heh."
  465. "Okay..."
  466. >You had to admit, that sounded fairly impressive.
  467. >Again, your knowledge was mostly second-hoof, but even the stallions that you took to bed in the past never went more than two rounds.
  468. >You never tried giving them a good-morning blowjob, though. That sounded interesting.
  469. >Maybe that'd convince them to give you a good-morning lickaroo, too.
  470. >Hm. Something to think about later.
  471. >"Another thing was the feeling of... Achievement, I guess? Or maybe satisfaction of a job well done. I spent over two months hanging around humans and learning all about them. It was amazing to finally put that knowledge to use, and succeed."
  472. "Succeed at what, exactly? Seducing a man?"
  473. >"Yeah. I could have gone the easy way and just been blunt. It would have probably worked, too. With how lonely all those guys are, they're just about ready to jump any mare that's nice to them. It just takes some time to communicate that idea to them in ways they can understand. Either that, or you jump into their lap and tell them that you want to give them the ride of their life. That's not fun, though, and makes the sex afterwards really disappointing. I'm not some fancy, dress-wearing seductress that has stallions swooning over her, but I do have standards."
  474. "I can get that. Are they really that lonely, though? Sure, I heard the rumors, but you know that they're often blown waaay out of proportion."
  475. >"They are. I'm pretty sure the only reason they're not riding mares 24/7 is because is their lack of confidence and all the miscommunications and different perceptions. The one I took to bed last week started blushing like a beet when he realized that I was making a move on him. Said it was extremely flattering that a member of a completely different species found him attractive, and that he'd never even considered such a possibility."
  476. "Not even considering the idea of a mare asking out a male? Yeesh, that's bad alright. I mean, I'm not an interspecies fetishist, but I couldn't exactly help myself and not check out the male griffons or the other guests at all those Canterlot galas I went to. What, are the women back on their world so spoiled for choice that some men end up never getting any attention at all?"
  477. >Fleetfoot shrugged.
  478. >"They must be, I guess?"
  479. >You shake your head in disdain.
  480. "Well, they do say good times make weak mares... Pathetic. Anyway I'm happy to hear how he reacted to your flirting."
  481. >"Yeah? The shyness and awkward blushing? What about it?"
  482. "Because that means they have SOME masculine character traits, then. So far, you might as well have been describing mares, not men. While all those super-janefilly qualities sound great, I'd still like for a colt to have at least some masculinity. Imagine getting together with a stallion that's *exactly* like a mare."
  483. >Fleetfoot frowns, considering the idea.
  484. >"Who would clean up? Who would cook the food? Do the dishes? We'd end up slobbing around and having sex or drinking all day."
  485. "Exactly, though I meant the sex, too. Imagine if a stallion was like some of the mares that had trouble lasting long and fell asleep right after. Hah."
  486. >"Heh, good point. You're right that they're still like stallions in some ways, though. They still get all blushy and stammering if you catch them off-guard with a nice compliment, for example. And they have this stallionly caring/nurturing need like you wouldn't believe. I mean, stronger than stallions, even."
  487. "Really?"
  488. >She nods vigorously.
  489. >"Absolutely. I guess with no one to express it on, they get pent up, in more ways than one. The guy last week? He spent hours - HOURS - just cuddling me, all his limbs wrapped around me in ways that would make a pony's bones break if they tried it. He caressed me the entire time too, running his hands and his fingers *everywhere*. He'd go for my sweet spots when we were doing it, but then he would go back to just rubbing and stroking me, which, after a while, would turn me on again and I'd go for another round. I kept expecting him to fall asleep, but he'd just go right back to massaging me, timidly asking me if it was okay to touch me here or there all the time. Gave me the best backrub of my entire life, better than any spa, hooves down. When we finally washed up and went to bed, he fell asleep nuzzling my mane, still gently rubbing my belly. Probably thinking about foals, like all stallions tend to do. So yeah, they project a gruff image and they're toughened up due to their upbringing, but you can tell that underneath, they're total stallions."
  490. >She leads you to land in one street lined with various dining and drinking establishments, the occasional shop squeezed inbetween.
  491. >You both land carefully, trying not to bump into any pedestrians.
  492. >A few tall forms dot the street here and there, the humans immediately standing out in the sea of ponies.
  493. >Some ponies still give them a wide berth, but the vast majority treat them like any other pony, with a few doing the opposite - staring at them with either curious, sympathetic, or lustful looks.
  494. >You see one human pass by not too far away, accompanied by a mare that's eagerly telling him the history of Canterlot and the places they're trotting through.
  495. >She's swaying her tail from side to side subtly while looking up at him, but, as usual, he's oblivious to her advances.
  496. >You try imagining going to bed with him.
  497. >Tall, spindly... Bare skin...
  498. >Nice legs, though.
  499. >And his pants are tight, hugging his flanks real nicely.
  500. >Maybe they have something with that "clothes" thing after all.
  501. >Wait, would they find you really hot in your Wonderbolt outfit? Those things are skin-tight, after all.
  502. >Getting off-topic. Focus, Spitfire.
  503. >Fleetfoot nudges you with a wing.
  504. >"So? What do you think?"
  505. >You let out a breath.
  506. "Still not fully convinced, Fleet. I don't trust them."
  507. >"You're... Afraid of them? Or do you think they look too weird?"
  508. "No. I could take one in a fight, I'm sure. And they don't look half bad, honestly. Letting one do whatever he wants to you in the bedroom is something else, though. I don't trust their... Thinking. With all those stories about how alien and totally different they are, I wasn't sure how'd they behave even in a regular conversations, let alone bedroom stuff. You're really saying that they're like stallions, though?"
  509. >"Well yeah. Like I said, in SOME ways, though, definitely not all of them. They seem like the mareliest mares you ever met when you talk to them at first, which, I guess, is how their messed up maretriarchic society made them. But when you get more intimate with them, yeah, they're total stallions underneath."
  510. "Well, even if I don't trust them fully, I trust you. Let's go get some alien dick for me, and we'll go from there."
  511. >She pumps a hoof.
  512. >"Sweet! Alright, fair warning, this might take a little while. There's not that many humans around, and there's lots of other mares gunning for them. I found most of their preferred haunts, though, so just follow my lead."
  513. >You nod, letting her take the lead.
  514. >She leads you past a couple restaurants.
  515. >You expect her to enter the frilly, pink-painted teahouse you're trotting by, but she doesn't even glance at it.
  516. >Right, men are more like mares, at least when they're out and about.
  517. >She leads you into a bar, instead.
  518. >You trot just a few steps inside, Fleetfoot scanning the area quickly.
  519. >After only a few moments, she shakes her head.
  520. >There's only one human, and there's at least six mares crowded around his table, chatting him up. A couple have discreetly wrapped their tails around his legs.
  521. >He looks a bit overwhelmed, not even noticing them feeling up his legs.
  522. >Attempting to bust into that situation could only end badly, Wonderbolt captain or not.
  523. >Waving a hoof, Fleetfoot turns around.
  524. >You follow along.
  525. >Three more bars later, you're back out in the street again.
  526. >Fleetfoot doesn't seem worried, though.
  527. >As you're about to move on, you see a tall, bipedal shape approach you from the side.
  528. >It takes Fleetfoot a few more seconds longer to notice it, which gives you time to examine it.
  529. >Her eyes light up and she opens her mouth immediately, attempting a friendly greeting.
  530. >You don't let her.
  531. >"He-mmmph."
  532. >She looks at you with a raised eyebrow as you muffle her mouth with a wing.
  533. >Giving a tiny shake of your head, you glance at the passing figure.
  534. "That's not a man," You mouth quietly.
  535. >Her eyes go a little wider, and she stares at the human, examining it in greater detail.
  536. >Longer hair, prominent teats on her chest. Yup, that's a woman.
  537. >Don't see many of those around any more.
  538. >The two of you wait for her to pass by.
  539. >Fleetfoot keeps looking as she disappears in the distance.
  540. >She's not the only one, several mares shooting distrustful looks in that direction.
  541. >"You know, I barely even saw what their females look like. All the humans we played bodyguard for were men, and then I spent most of the time during the first tourist rush in the clouds. When I got back, they all fled already."
  542. "I'll make sure to point them out if we find any more. Don't want to chat up one of those, after all. Let's keep going."
  543. >"You got it, chief. Right this way."
  544. >She leads you down a side street, humming some song under her breath.
  545. >"All I ever wanted... All I ever needed... Is here, in my arms.."
  546.  
  547. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGSKrC7dGcY
  548.  
  549. "Hm?"
  550. >She turns to you, her mind clearly somewhere else.
  551. >"Sorry, did you say something?"
  552. "What's that song you were singing?"
  553. >She grimaces, smiling nervously.
  554. >"Oh, did I do that out loud? Uh, it's nothing. Just something I heard around. Heh heh."
  555. >What?
  556. >You give her a flat look.
  557. "Not buying it. What's the big deal with a song to make you so nervous, anyway?"
  558. >"It's nothing, honestly. It's a human song, is all. Guess I got carried away a little when thinking about humans."
  559. "Alright then... What, did some man try serenading you, or something?"
  560. >"Hah! No. I just got one of those crazy tiny music players the humans have."
  561. "Oh yeah? I know lots of ponies are skeptical of the claims the humans make about their stuff. Does it actually work like advertised?"
  562. >"It really does! It's pretty wild, honestly. There's this tiny thing barely than the size of my hoof, and it holds over eight hundred songs. I don't know how many vinyl records I'd have to stack to have that many, but there'd likely be several ceiling-high piles."
  563. "Okay, that sounds pretty cool. How do you get music into it, then?"
  564. >While you were closely following the news about plans to incorporate human technologies on a large scale in Equestria, you never bothered learning about all those personal gadgets that the humans carried with them all the time.
  565. >Although you were mildly curious, some ponies said that they were almost impossible to use without hands, so you didn't bother.
  566. >"Well, apparently, you need a "You-Ass-Bee" wire to connect it to a "compewter" and "upload" songs on it."
  567. >She grins as she "explains" it to you.
  568. "Okay... In Equish, please?"
  569. >"Haha! Yeah, I've been saying it a lot to the humans, too. Took me a while to get the gist of what most of their technical terms mean. Basically, lots of their fancy technology can be connected to each other, and you can just move or copy whatever's on them between them. And if you want new stuff, you have to get it through that... World-spiderweb thing."
  570. "I think they call it the "internet"."
  571. >"Right, that. Anyway, I overheard some songs the humans were listening to, got drawn into yet another conversation about their tech stuff, and eventually got a fairly straightforward explanation about how their gadgets work, and which ones are more trustworthy than others. So, after listening to some recommendations, I decided to go ahead and buy one for myself, and one of the guys uploaded his personal library into it."
  572. "Give me the gist of it sometime later. If they're actually that good, I might want to get something myself sometime."
  573. >"You should. I had no idea what to expect from alien music, but, let me tell you, I wasn't disappointed. Remind me to play you some stuff from the "metal" genre sometime. It's awesome."
  574. "Alright. Where do you keep it, though? I see humans carrying their toys with them all the time."
  575. >"Oh, at home. Apparently, those things are really vulnerable to moisture, so I didn't want to risk damaging it while flying through clouds. Anyway, we're getting sidetracked pretty badly. Back to business at hoof."
  576. >You nod as she approaches another bar.
  577. >Despite the side street being very narrow, you don't feel cramped at all, as there's not a single other pony here at the moment.
  578. >It's actually more of a backalley than a street.
  579. >A number of emergency exits and service entrances line the buildings.
  580. >And, hidden in between all of those, sits a lonely pub.
  581. "That's an... Interesting location. What, did you turn into a hipster, or something? Been frequenting "hip" and "hidden" places?"
  582. >"Ha! Screw you too, Spitfire. No, I didn't, but humans often end up in similar places. They told me that Equestria can get overwhelming, so they end up seeking out quieter establishments, and then sharing them with other humans. A few were kind enough to share them with me, too."
  583. >You remember the guy in the first bar that you looked in, with six enthusiastic mares crowding him.
  584. "I guess I get it. If they can't take a step outside without getting mobbed by horny mares..."
  585. >"Yeah, though, given their situation, they could use more mares in their lives. Let's see if we can find some lonely guy to give the gift of mare to."
  586. >You follow Fleetfoot through the door, looking around.
  587. >It is quieter here than any other place you've been in so far, though not due to the lack of patrons.
  588. >Seems that there's simply a calmer atmosphere here, away from the buzz of the main street.
  589. >Fleetfoot's intel is proven right, as you find at least a dozen humans among the ponies.
  590. >She bites her lip, scanning the crowd.
  591. >There's a group of six men intently discussing something in low voices, gesticulating in a wild manner.
  592. >Fleetfoot seems to dismiss them immediately, looking further.
  593. >One man is sitting with a mare, her tail wrapped around his leg and his hand holding one of her hooves while they share a dish.
  594. >The mare's chest is puffed out and her posture straight, in that "I just landed a mate and I'll fight you to the death if you dare make a move on me now" stance.
  595. >A few men look available, but Fleetfoot shakes her head when she sees you examining them, likely using whatever alien knowledge she gleaned from those months of learning about humans.
  596. >Giving up on the tables, she quickly glances at the bar.
  597. >"Well hello there."
  598. >You turn to see what she's looking at.
  599. >There's a single man sitting on one of the barstools, his tall frame looking comical on the pony-sized furniture.
  600. >No mares are accosting him. Yet.
  601. >Time to change that.
  602. >He seems to have arrived only recently, scanning the drinks menu.
  603. >"Alright, looks like we have our man. Let's go."
  604. >She canters off at a lazy pace, projecting an aura of being cool and unhurried.
  605. >It is only now that you realize that you don't have the faintest clue at what to do.
  606. >Sure, Fleetfoot learned all that stuff about humans, but you didn't.
  607. >And as you already know, nothing from your repertoire of picking up stallions is going to work.
  608. >Going after her, you speak quietly.
  609. "Hold up, what the hay am I supposed to do?"
  610. >"Relax, stay cool, and follow my lead, even if it seems counter-intuitive. *Especially* if it seems counter-intuitive."
  611. "Alright..."
  612. >"Just let me chat him up first. They find it weird when more than one mare starts making moves on them. Order a drink or something while I feel him out."
  613. >You snort.
  614. >They find it weird when females of any kind start making moves on them at all.
  615. >You follow her silent directions and go for the seat to his right.
  616. >She moves to the left, opening her wings a little.
  617. >You watch as she "accidentally" brushes her feathers against the exposed part of his arm.
  618. >Smooth.
  619. >As he turns towards her, you take your seat, unnoticed.
  620. >"Oh, I'm sorry, did I bump into you?"
  621. >"No, you barely even touched me. Your feathers are really soft."
  622. >"Oh my, thank you! I do take good care of them. Flying's my pride and joy, you know. Say, you've been looking at that drinks menu for a while. Mind if I recommend something? My treat."
  623. >The barmare, who has been waiting for the man to order, is watching the situation with the tiniest, most barely perceptible smirk that you ever saw.
  624. >It's definitely there, though.
  625. >Yeah, she knows what's up.
  626. >Turning towards you with a knowing look, she raises an eyebrow.
  627. >After a moment, she seems to recognize you, the other eyebrow following it's sibling upwards.
  628. >"Well now, lots of interesting faces here lately. Looking for some firewater to fire up the weekend?"
  629. "Eh, not yet. Think I need to cool off from the weekdays, first. Tall mug of hard cider please, whichever's you think is best."
  630. >She nods, retrieving a mug and filling it up.
  631. >The man glances at you briefly when you speak up, but Fleetfoot has his attention hooked pretty hard.
  632. >Dropping a couple of coins, you take a deep pull from your mug, feeling the cool refreshment flow down your throat.
  633. >Ah. You needed that.
  634. >Feeling genuinely more relaxed, you slouch a bit on the stool.
  635. >You do keep one ear perked squarely in Fleetfoot's direction, though.
  636. >"Oh yeah, you're not the first human I talked to. I just find you interesting. I mean, who doesn't, right? Actual aliens. You guys have the craziest stories. Don't worry about that drink, the conversation is more than worth it."
  637. >It takes her a few minutes of smooth-talking to get him to agree to allow her to pay for his drink.
  638. >Instead of some fruity, sweet cocktail, he orders a dark, bitter ale.
  639. >You're not sure why you're surprised any more, honestly. You should have seen that coming by now.
  640. >Meanwhile, Fleetfoot's working her magic.
  641. >"So, what are you up to? Chilling out after a hard week?"
  642. >He grimaces a tiny bit.
  643. >"I wish. Well, I don't wish that the week was hard, heh. Just needed to clear my head for a little while."
  644. >"I know the feeling. Sometimes I go flying to chill out, but I already did that all day long today. A good drink helps too, as long as you don't go overboard."
  645. >She slowly flexes her wings as she speaks, extending them halfway before pulling them back in a lazy manner.
  646. >The man's eyes follow them with abject fascination. Interesting.
  647. >"So you're, uh... Some kind of... Flier?" He finishes awkwardly.
  648. >She chuckles, puffing out her chest.
  649. >"Yup, one of the best, in fact. Ever heard of the Wonderbolts? Don't worry if you haven't, by the way. I'm not going to grade you on your answers."
  650. >He chuckles.
  651. >"No... No, I haven't, sorry. I didn't really have much time to get acquainted with Equestria's culture and stuff yet."
  652. >"No worries. I'd be happy to help, in fact. If you have questions - ANY kinds of questions - don't hesitate to ask, no matter how basic they sound. Anyway, I'm actually a military mare. Special operations."
  653. >You try not to snort. "Special operations" was a joke among the Wonderbolts.
  654. >"Whoa, really? So you're some kind of... Secret special operative?"
  655. >Fleetfoot shakes her head, laughing a little.
  656. >"Technically yes, though we're the complete opposite of secret. It's a bit of a running gag in my squad. We're actually a group of Equestria's most elite fliers and aeronautics performers, so we're probably the most well-known branch of the military in the entire country."
  657. >"Oh, I get it. You're the sort of... Public face and showing off/recruitment branch. We have something similar at home. "Hey, look how cool we are, come join us" sort of thing, right?"
  658. >"Kind of, though we do fly rescue missions and respond to various emergencies whenever they pop up. We're the fastest response team there is."
  659. >"That's just awesome. Not just your job, it sounds totally badass, but just... The whole ability to just go "eh, screw gravity" and fly off. That's still so wild to me. And mind-boggling."
  660. >Badass?
  661. >He takes a deep pull from his mug, glancing at Fleetfoot's wings again.
  662. >Her eyes light up.
  663. >She spreads her wings wider, tracking his gaze with her eyes.
  664. >While he's distracted, she makes a discreet motion to the barmare, who goes to fill another mug with the human's preferred ale.
  665. >"Say, you've been looking at my wings a lot."
  666. >He immediately looks away.
  667. >"Oh, uh, damn, I'm sorry, was I being inappropriate? I really sorry, I-"
  668. >She quickly moves one wing to silence him, putting a primary on his lips.
  669. >He stares at it in wonder, reflexively reaching for it with a hand before stopping himself.
  670. >"No, silly, you haven't done anything wrong. You can look at ponies all you want. If anything, I'm flattered."
  671.  
  672. >He seems a bit skeptical.
  673. >"Really?"
  674. >She smiles, removing her wing.
  675. >"Of course. Why in the world wouldn't I be? Someone that's not even my species finds me so interesting they can't keep their eyes off me. It's quite a compliment."
  676. >That seems to stump him.
  677. >"Well, uh..."
  678. >"Go on, don't be shy. Look all you want."
  679. >With that, she spreads her wings to their full extension, striking a pose.
  680. >His eyes go wide, roaming all across her body.
  681. >Smiling at her success, she flexes a few times, showing off her muscles and making different poses.
  682. >You stare as well, though for different reasons.
  683. >You'd never have even thought to try something like that.
  684. >Even the biggest meathead mares know that outright flexing in front of stallions like that is good for a laugh, at most.
  685. >They might give you a few appreciative glances, but that's it.
  686. >He's giving her far more than a glance, though.
  687. >She's good at this.
  688. >The man, meanwhile, must have found his throat suddenly dry, as he quickly finishes off the rest of his drink.
  689. >Fleetfoot goes back to sitting normally and orders a cider herself, passing him the mug of ale.
  690. >He considers it for a moment before shrugging and taking a sip.
  691. >She takes a deep pull, savoring the flavor.
  692. >You finish your own cider, motioning for a refill.
  693. >There's a lull in the conversation as everyone savors their drinks.
  694. >Instead of pushing on, Fleetfoot seems to be waiting for him to say something.
  695. >He fumbles with his mug awkwardly before speaking up.
  696. >"So, uh, thank you. That was very... Interesting. Honestly, I've been wanting to just... Take a closer look at a pony for a while, but I didn't want to look like a creep."
  697. >It takes you a minute to actually process what he just said.
  698. >He thinks mares would find exotic alien males checking them out creepy?
  699. >You bite your tongue so you don't say something stupid.
  700. >Something like "What kind of clit-sucking turbodyke taught you that?!"
  701. >Not that it's actually a stupid question, but it would be stupid to say that right now. Don't want to ruin all of Fleetfoot's hard work.
  702. >She scoffs.
  703. >"That's absolutely ridiculous. Don't tell me you haven't been stared at every time you went out."
  704. >"Well, yeah, but-"
  705. >"No buts. Just stare right back. Get into a staring contest, with every pony that stares at you, even."
  706. >He chuckles, shaking his head and taking another sip. Fleetfoot raises an eyebrow wryly.
  707. >"So, what did you think, anyway? Like what you see?"
  708. >"Oh, uh, well, you look really... Ummm, majestic with your wings spread like that. I imagine you'd look even better when actually flying."
  709. >"Oooh, majestic. No one's ever called me that. You really know how to set a mare's heart aflutter. I almost expected you to say something else, though."
  710. >"Yeah? Like what?"
  711. >"Well... I told you that I talked to other humans before, plenty of times. The curiosity goes both ways, you know? And, while it took me some time... I learned your secrets, human. Your dark, concealed thoughts that you hide from ponies."
  712. >Her flirty expression changes to something more intimidating, giving him a flat look as she leans forward.
  713. >He seems to be taken aback by that, leaning back a bit.
  714. >"W-what do you mean? What thoughts?"
  715. >"I know what you actually think about mares, my tall, long-legged friend."
  716. >She extends one foreleg, pointing at him with every word.
  717. >"You... Think... Mares... Are... Cute."
  718. >His scared expression turns to a mix of embarrassment and amusement.
  719. >He coughs several times, attempting to hide his laughter. Raising his mug, he tries to hide by taking another drink.
  720. >Fleetfoot, meanwhile, is back to smiling.
  721. >"Gotcha."
  722. >He gives her a flat look as well, his voice gruff, but amused.
  723. >"Oh, don't act like you don't know you're cute, you little devil. You're all aware of it, one hunder percent."
  724. >You're really not. It's still weird to hear him say it. Mares aren't cute. Mares are marely. Those are nearly complete opposites.
  725. >"Really, and what makes you say that?"
  726. >"All those ponies that visit Earth. They know what's up, and they exploit it to hell and back."
  727. >"Hold up, that's not something I heard about. I talked to humans about human stuff and their time in Equestria, but I can't say I heard anything about the opposite. How are things on the other side of the portal?"
  728. >You perk your ears. That does sound interesting.
  729. >He rolls his eyes.
  730. >"Everyone's tripping over themselves to offer help to the ponies that inevitably get confused from the information overload on Earth, while simultaneously restraining themselves from grabbing ponies and screaming how they're the cutest things ever. And with their "cute and innocent fairytale creature" image, they can get away with a lot of things. There was an amazing story that came out about some unicorn pickpocket that stole hundred's of thousand's worth of jewelry, watches, and all kinds of other stuff from people with magic. She'd distract them with the "lost and cute" shtick while robbing them blind. Unfortunately for her, she had no idea what security cameras are. Heh."
  731. >"Oh, wow. That's... That's pretty wild. Uh, I have no idea where you humans get the whole "innocent fairytale" stuff from. There's bad ponies and criminals in Equestria, and violence, and monster attacks, and all kinds of stuff. I'm pretty sure that image is something you made up yourselves entirely."
  732. >You wonder what happened to the thief. Did the humans deport her, or jail her? You never followed the events on Earth much, either.
  733. >He shrugs.
  734. >"I mean, I guess. It doesn't help that we had lots of creatures similar to what exists here in our mythology for a long time. Unicorns, pegasi, griffons, manticores... You're all far cuter than in the myths, though."
  735. >Fleetfoot rolls her eyes.
  736. >"I thought I was majestic."
  737. >"You are. Also cute."
  738. >She sticks her tongue out at him.
  739. >"Well, there's some progress at least."
  740. >"Progress... Towards what?"
  741. >"Towards you accepting reality. Some men I talked to confessed that they had this disconnect in their heads for a few weeks where they've been travelling Equestria and being impressed by our world, but still kept thinking about ponies as "cute talking animals", even though we were the ones that built everything around them. It took them a bit to really internalize that they're talking to another sapient species."
  742. >"Oh, uh..."
  743. >He fidgets awkwardly. Fleetfoot waves him off.
  744. >"Don't worry about it. I know you are the only species that can talk on your world."
  745. >"It's just... A lot to take in."
  746. >"Like I said, don't worry about it. I understand."
  747. >"So, should I try to stop seeing mares as cute? I don't think that's possible."
  748. >Fleetfoot snorts.
  749. >"Don't bother, then. We're much more than cute, though. We can be lots of things."
  750. >"Like majestic?"
  751. >"That's one of them. There's others," She says with a sultry tone of voice.
  752. >You can almost see the gears turning in his head.
  753. >She "unconsciously" lets her wings relax, her wingtips brushing against her flank and drawing his eyes there.
  754. >"Mind if I ask you your name? We've been talking for some time, after all. I'm Fleetfoot, by the way."
  755. >"I- I'm Anon," He stammers.
  756. >"What's wrong? Come on, relax. My friend and I are just winding down after a long week. No one's going to jump you if you make some silly mistake in a conversation."
  757. >"Your friend?"
  758. >Looks like you're up.
  759. >"Oh yeah, my captain, Spitfire. She's had a lot to deal with this week. Feeling better, cap?"
  760. "Much," You reply, putting down your mug.
  761. >Anon turns to you, examining you more closely.
  762. >You notice his eyes linger on your mane a lot, before moving to your tail.
  763. >"Whoa. That's the coolest hairdo that I ever saw."
  764. >You grin.
  765. "Don't you mean the hottest?"
  766. >He chuckles.
  767. >"You ponies have the craziest colors."
  768. >"So you humans say, though you have far crazier stuff than mane colors."
  769. >He turns his head back towards Fleetfoot, at which point she enacts her master plan.
  770. >"Say, instead of craning your head back and forth between the two of us, why don't we take our drinks and get a table? If you don't feel like leaving yet, of course. Heck, I think I'm going to order some food, too. I didn't have anything to eat yet."
  771. >"Oh, well, sure."
  772. >"Want to get something for yourself?"
  773. >Food actually sounds pretty good right now. The last thing you ate was the lunch back in the academy.
  774. >You all order some things, and Fleetfoot sneakily manages to pay for his food before he can figure it out.
  775. >"How did you even..."
  776. >"Don't bother. I'm the fastest on my team," She says, flashing him a wink.
  777. >"You don't have to pay for my food just to have a conversation with me."
  778. >"Oh, give me a break. I'm famous, I can afford it a million times over. Besides, what if I'm like those humans with those ponies back on Earth? What if I think you're cute?"
  779. >He snorts, quickly putting a hand over his mouth do he doesn't burst out laughing.
  780. >His body shakes with suppressed laughter for a good minute.
  781. >"Yeah right. Then I'll have to call you a liar," He eventually gasps out.
  782. >"Really? What makes you so sure?"
  783. >"Oh, come on. I'm both bigger and taller than you. To you, I'm like a... Bear, or something."
  784. >"Oh yeah? Plenty of ponies still find bears cute, you know."
  785. >"..."
  786. >He's not sure how to reply to that.
  787. >You wonder if you should participate in the conversation more, but you can barely keep up with all the twists and turns Fleetfoot's effortlessly cruising through.
  788. >Shaking his head, he takes his seat at the table, idly watching as you reposition your wings a little so they don't get squished between the backrest and your back.
  789. >Well. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
  790. >You extend one wing, watching him track it with his eyes.
  791. "You really like our wings, huh?"
  792. >"Uh, yeah, sure. I find pegasi in general interesting, honestly. Most people are freaking out about unicorns and their magic, but when you get down to it, pegasi are way, way weirder. I mean, you live in cloud cities, for goodness sake. And I can't imagine what it's like to have a pair of extra limbs sprouting out of your back."
  793. >You shrug with your wings.
  794. "Was born with these babies, so I couldn't tell. Flying's pretty awesome, though."
  795. >"I can't imagine," He sighs melancholically.
  796. >There's a deep longing in his voice that's impossible to miss.
  797. >Both you and Fleetfoot perk up. The two of you share a glance.
  798. >She wiggles her ears in the "move forward" motion.
  799. >You rarely get the chance to use the military hoof/ear signals, but situations like these make those lessons worth it.
  800. >You clear your throat.
  801. "Would you like to fly, Anon?"
  802. >"Um... Sure...?"
  803. >You nod, keeping your voice as nonchalant as possible.
  804. "Oh, alright then. We can fly you around a bit as soon as we finish dinner."
  805. >"Wait, what...?"
  806. >His voice is full of disbelief.
  807. >Your food arrives, and you take a deep whiff.
  808. >Hmm. Pretty good. Maybe this place is worth coming back to.
  809. "Your food's going to get cold, you know."
  810. >"Right..."
  811. >He's still staring at you with an incredulous expression.
  812. >You do your best to appear cool and collected as you pour some ketchup on your fish and hayfries.
  813. >You were pleasantly surprised to find out that they serve pegasus dishes here.
  814. >Some earth ponies whinge that ponies should only eat plants, but they can stuff it.
  815. >Besides it being none of their business, they're obviously just saying it because they grow all the plants.
  816. >Anon slowly cuts into his fish, still glancing at you.
  817. >"Are you implying what I think you're implying?"
  818. "What, that I can fly you around? Totally. Fleetfoot told you that we're a rescue team, right? Each one of us can carry three-four ponies, no problem."
  819. >"I'm a bit bigger, though."
  820. >You snort.
  821. "What, than four ponies? I don't think so. Besides, that number includes stallions, and they're heftier than mares."
  822. >"Wow."
  823. >His expression turns into what you'd call "hopeful curiosity".
  824. >"You really mean you can...?"
  825. "Not until we finish eating."
  826. >"Right, right."
  827. >He assaults the fish with the ketchup bottle, his eyes still wide.
  828. >Fleetfoot flashes you an approving grin, wiggling her eyebrows wildly.
  829. >You can't help but smile a little, too.
  830. >During the old times, the practice of swooping in and carrying off the other tribe's stallions wasn't done nearly as often as they accused the pegasi of doing, simply due to the fact that they would just fall through the cloud cities the pegasi were living in.
  831. >The same thing would happen if you happened to give birth to a non-pegasus foal.
  832. >Still, the idea of grabbing this man and flying off with him for some fun tickled you in all the right places.
  833. >You all stay quiet while you eat, though you notice that Anon keeps glancing at you the entire time.
  834. >That's right, keep the eyes on the prize, colt.
  835. >...Where'd that come from?
  836. >You ponder your sudden change of attitude.
  837. >Less than an hour ago, you were telling Fleetfoot that you didn't trust humans.
  838. >You can only guess that you secretly craved a stallion's touch more than you realized.
  839. >You hope this works out. If he leaves you hanging, you're really going to flip.
  840. >Maybe even swoop a stallion for real.
  841. >[spoiler]Yeah, right. Jail time isn't worth it.[/spoiler]
  842. >Eventually, you're all finished with your food, drinking the last dregs from your mugs.
  843. >Anon clearly still has misgivings, so you do your best to project an aura of supreme marely confidence.
  844. "So, Anon, would you care to follow us outside?"
  845. >"I guess..."
  846. >Fleetfoot joins in egging him on, getting off her chair and wrapping her tail around one of his legs, tugging him to follow along.
  847. >"Oh come on, Anon, why did you even come to Equestria if you're not willing to experience it's magic? What, to get a drink and a meal at a pub? I'm pretty sure they have those on Earth, too."
  848. >"That's an incredibly convincing argument, and yet it does little to quell all the butterflies in my stomach."
  849. >Still, he follows you towards the exit, despite his uncertain demeanor.
  850. >Your first instinct is to try and calm him down, but then you remember Fleetfoot's advice.
  851. >Counter-intuitive.
  852. "Sounds perfect. What's life without a little adrenaline? You're not going to chicken out of your dream of flying because of some wimpy little butterflies, are you?"
  853. >He frowns a little, and you're afraid that you made a mistake, until he speaks up.
  854. >"Yeah, no, I'm no chicken. Think you're so hot? Do your worst."
  855. "Ohohoho, now that's not something I ever heard from a stallion before. Better get rid of those butterflies, pal, 'cause we're going to show you some real flying."
  856. >"So, how is it actually going to work? Do I ride on your back, or...?"
  857. >You exit the building, glancing around the narrow backalley. Still empty.
  858. "Oh, I'll give you the ride of a lifetime on my back any time, hotshot."
  859. >"Uh..."
  860. >Oops. Got a little carried away there.
  861. >Fleetfoot flies in to the rescue, doing her best not to laugh.
  862. >"If I may make a suggestion? Spitfire, you should grab him from behind, instead. It'll be easier with his large frame, instead of him trying to hold on to you."
  863. "Yeah, okay..."
  864. >You squint at him while evaluating his size.
  865. >Bit bulky, but still entirely manageable.
  866. >You spread your wings and start hovering, flying a slow circle around him.
  867. >His skepticism takes the worst time to come back.
  868. >"Can you really lift me? I know that your flight powers are magical, but still..."
  869. >Fleetfoot rolls her eyes.
  870. >"You really think we're lying? Us? Such a cute pair of mares?"
  871. >She pouts in a rather unmarely way, flapping her wings and holding her hooves to her chest while hovering in fron of Anon, making puppy-dog eyes at him with her ears folded.
  872. >His hands twitch, reaching for her before he forcefully puts them down again.
  873. >"Hrrrrngnnnng... Stop that, you diabetes demon..."
  874. >Her expression instantly returns to normal as she cackles.
  875. >Damn. That was quite the reaction.
  876. >"For real, though, Anon. Want to see some proof? Give me your hand. I'm not going to do anything bad, I promise. Scout's honor."
  877. >"Okay..."
  878.  
  879. >He holds out a hand.
  880. >Fleetfoot grabs it with both hooves, nuzzling it for a moment.
  881. >He blinks at her owlishly, reflexively wrapping his fingers around a hoof.
  882. >"There we go. Now, just hold on, alright?"
  883. >She slowly flies upward, making him raise his arm.
  884. >When they reach the point where it's as high as it can go, she stops briefly.
  885. >"Alright, I'm only going to lift you for a second. Don't start screaming, okay?"
  886. >He glares at her silently.
  887. >"Good man. Now then..."
  888. >The speed and force of her wing flaps increases.
  889. >It's noticeably faster, but still not as high as during a high-speed sprint flight.
  890. >Her expression shows no strain whatsoever, though.
  891. >Less than a few seconds later, Anon's feet leave the ground.
  892. >While he was looking at Fleetfoot, he immediately looks downward, his eyes wide as saucers.
  893. >"Whoa..."
  894. >Fleetfoot hovers in place for around ten seconds before gently setting him down.
  895. >"See? No sweat. Each one of us can lift you without problems, and there are two of us."
  896. >"Alright. Okay..."
  897. >His expression slowly morphs from fear into giddy anticipation.
  898. >Glancing at you, he shuffles awkwardly.
  899. >"So, um..."
  900. "Hold still, big guy."
  901. >You fly behind him, landing on his back and hooking your forelegs on his shoulders, feeling him tense up.
  902. "Chill. I'm going to be holding on to you pretty tightly, alright?"
  903. >"Of- of course."
  904. "Good. Give me a few minutes to find the best position."
  905. >You wrap your hindlegs around his torso, doing the same with your forelegs.
  906. >Shuffling your limbs a bit, you feel things out. It's a pretty solid grip.
  907. >Fleetfoot's not done giving advice, though.
  908. >"I think you should go just a little lower, chief. To balance out the length of his body, you know?"
  909. "Alright..."
  910. >You slide down a little bit, your hindlegs ending up partway on his flanks instead of his lower back.
  911. >You breathe in sharply as you firmly squeeze his rear with your thighs, feeling out his muscles there reflexively tense up for a moment.
  912. >Unf.
  913. >Fleetfoot grins manically at your expression.
  914. >"Think you got a solid grip there, Spitfire?"
  915. "Oh yeah. Nothing could pry me away from him now."
  916.  
  917. >You nuzzle the back of Anon's neck.
  918. "Ready for takeoff?"
  919. >"No, but I don't think I ever will. Just go for it."
  920. "Now that's the right attitude. Five, four, three two- go!"
  921. >You flap furiously, getting enough lift after just three flaps.
  922. >Fleetfoot flies beside you, throwing her forelegs wide.
  923. >"Woo! Feel the wind! Isn't this awesome, Anon?"
  924. >"Y-yeah," He gasps out just as you clear the building's roof.
  925. >His hands firmly wrap around your hooves, his grip impressively strong.
  926. >The feeling of his fingers is strange, but not unpleasant.
  927. >In fact, you're pretty sure you'd like to experience it some more later.
  928. >You keep rising straight up, wondering where to actually go.
  929. >You could go higher up, towards the mountain peak, or maybe do the opposite and go for a high-speed glide downwards...
  930. >Or just fly above Canterlot for a while.
  931. >A part of you still has a hard time believing that this is happening.
  932. >A unicorn or earth pony stallion would never consent to something like this, let alone actively ask for it.
  933. >The wind would ruin their fancy mane-dos and whatnot.
  934. >Yet here you are. Rising far above the city, the crowds now an indistinct mass of ants, a couple stray clouds floating nearby.
  935. >Oh. Maybe you rose a bit too high.
  936. >"Are those clouds? Can we get closer?"
  937. >Or maybe you rose just high enough.
  938. "Of course."
  939. >You change course for the nearest one, a feeble mass of vapor that's barely enough for one pony to stand on.
  940. >Likely a stray piece missed by the weather team. Sloppy.
  941. >He extends a hand, but naturally, it passes right through.
  942. "I thought humans can't touch clouds?"
  943. >"Well yeah. I just... Wanted to do it anyway."
  944. >Fleetfoot flies in, landing on the cloud and stabilizing it after a few strategic taps with her forelegs.
  945. >"How about the next best thing? Come on, have a seat."
  946. >She lies down on the cloud, hanging her legs off the edges.
  947. "Hmmm."
  948. >Anon isn't too sure.
  949. >"What? No, I couldn't-"
  950. "Oh yes you can. Raise your legs."
  951. >You fly him over her, and he awkwardly moves his legs aside as you plant his butt on Fleetfoot's back.
  952. >His weight makes the cloud start slowly sinking down, but it's nothing critical.
  953. >"Whoa..."
  954. >You feel his muscles slowly relax, though he keeps glancing at Fleetfoot in embarrassment.
  955. >Fleetfoot shakes her head.
  956. >"What are you staring at me for, silly? You can do that while you're on the ground. Look downwards, or better yet - look outwards, towards the rest of Equestria. Now that's a sight."
  957. >This time, he is struck speechless.
  958. >You all stay there like that for at least ten minutes, the only motion coming from your wings.
  959. >You flap lazily to maintain balance, glancing at the cloud now and then.
  960. >Few minutes in, you begin gently nuzzling Anon's neck again. You don't think he even notices.
  961. >You certainly find his smooth skin intriguing, however.
  962. >You wonder if he's as smooth everywhere else, too...
  963. >Soon enough, though, you notice the cloud begin to crumble.
  964. >Fleetfoot notices first, tapping Anon on the leg.
  965. >"Looks like our ride's breaking apart, Anon."
  966. >"Oh, okay. Is that... A problem?"
  967. "Of course not, it just means that we're back to flying. Anywhere you want to go? Up, down, any other direction?"
  968. >"I have no idea. Take me somewhere nice, I guess?"
  969. "Oh, I'll take you somewhere nice, alright. You just hold on to your pants... For now."
  970. >"What do you mean for no- ooooow!"
  971. >You grin as Fleetfoot dives down, busting through the fractured cloud.
  972. >Instead of flying up, you pump your wings and follow her, gathering speed.
  973. >Fleetfoot turns back and gives you a wave, veering off to the side.
  974. >You follow in her wake, using the momentum from your dive to keep the speed up.
  975. >To his credit, Anon doesn't scream or even whimper, staying completely still.
  976. >You'd be worried that he passed out, if it wasn't for his grip on your hooves.
  977. >You fly some distance above the usual city flier traffic, low enough for him to take in all the details, but high enough not to have to veer out of the way of other pegasi.
  978. >After a few minutes, you feel his grip relax a few times before he grips you again.
  979. "Something wrong, Anon?"
  980. >"No. I just... Feel like being silly."
  981. >Fleetfoot overhears it.
  982. >"Go ahead! Give in to your whimsy! You know you want to!"
  983. >He ponders it for a minute before shrugging, slowly letting go of your hooves.
  984. >Once he sees that you're really not going to let him go, he extends his arms forward fully, keeping them straight.
  985. >"Woooooo! I'm Superman!"
  986. >Fleetfoot shrieks with laughter while you chuckle.
  987. >Sounds like Wondercolt, or something. Must be some kind of human superhero reference.
  988. >You keep flying him around for a good fifteen minutes at least, making a few semi-sharp turns now and then to keep it interesting.
  989. >Anon never makes a single complaint, only letting out coltish noises of joy now and then.
  990. >Eventually, though, you reach the end of your flight.
  991. >Fleetfoot leads you to the edge of Canterlot, on a segment of the wall overlooking the mountainside.
  992. >There were several "official" landing platforms that civilians were supposed to use instead of landing on the walls, but very few pegasi cared.
  993. >The guards pretty much never patrolled the outer walls anyway unless there was an emergency, so the rule was moot for the most part.
  994. >With a relieved sigh, you set Anon down, unhooking your legs from his sides.
  995. >While you weren't lying about being able to fly him around without issues, those were only supposed to be very quick sprint flights, to get ponies out of danger, not long-distance hauls.
  996. >You could have kept going for a good five minutes more, but that would have been it, unless you switched with Fleetfoot.
  997. >Fortunately, Anon seems more than satisfied.
  998. >"Oh my freaking god, holy hell..."
  999. >He sways a little before grabbing on to the parapet with his hands and looking outwards.
  1000. "Well, if you're going to throw up, then thanks for waiting until we were back on the ground."
  1001. >He laughs loudly, shaking his head.
  1002. >"Hahah, screw you. No, I mean, thank you for the flight. No, I'm not going to throw up, you... Amazing, smartass, wonderful jerk."
  1003. >You snort.
  1004. >Not the worst thing anyone's ever called you.
  1005. >You're highly tempted to reply to the "screw you" part with something rather direct.
  1006. >You're not sure if it's the right time yet, though.
  1007. >It should be, right?
  1008. >On shaky legs, he sits down on the wall, looking back towards Canterlot.
  1009. >Sniffling a bit, he wipes a few tears off his face.
  1010. >You're a bit concerned, but Fleetfoot seems unbothered. Pleased, even.
  1011. >Moving in, she lies down on the wall, putting her forelegs on his thighs, draping her neck across his arm and resting her muzzle on his shoulder.
  1012. >Her nostrils flaring, she lets out a breath against his neck, giving you a look and gesturing towards him with her eyes.
  1013. >Oh yeah. It's time.
  1014. >You mirror her position, draping yourself over his side and ever-so-gently nuzzling against his neck, observing his reaction.
  1015. >He doesn't even notice, his mind somewhere far, far away.
  1016. >However, he moves his hands without thinking, running it through both of your manes.
  1017. >He scratches Fleetfoot's neck while the other hand finds it's way on your scalp, right at the base of your ear.
  1018. "O-Oh..."
  1019. >You let out a breathy sigh as he scratches it, tweaking and playing with your ear.
  1020. >It takes at least five minutes for his mind to come back to the ground.
  1021. >Not that you mind it, not at all.
  1022. >Once he does come back, though, it doesn't take long for him to notice the two mares glued to his sides in rather provocative positions.
  1023. >"Um..."
  1024. >You both smile as you keep nuzzling him, a blush slowly starting to form on his cheeks.
  1025. >"Uh..."
  1026. >He glances at Fleetfoot, who gives him an innocent look.
  1027. >"Yes, Anon? Is something wrong?"
  1028. >He looks at you next, noticing his hand and moving it away.
  1029. >You frown a little.
  1030. "Aww, why'd you stop? That felt really nice."
  1031. >His eyes go wider. Swallowing nervously, he slowly puts his hand on the other ear, giving it the same attention.
  1032. >You smile widely, closing your eyes.
  1033. "Oh yeah, right therrrrrre..."
  1034. >You press yourself closer against him, purring into his neck.
  1035. >He spends a whole minute scratching your ear with a confused look, before turning back towards Fleetfoot.
  1036. >"Um, Fleetfoot?"
  1037. >"Yes, Anon?"
  1038. >"Remember when you said that I could ask you questions?"
  1039. >"Absolutely! Ask away."
  1040. >"Alright. What is, um, what is the significance of a mare, uh... Resting her neck against someone like you're doing right now?"
  1041. >"Oh, well, I'm pretty sure there's little difference from a human hug. Ponies hug with their necks a lot, though they do sometimes use their forelegs."
  1042. >"Hug. Okay. And the... Nuzzling?"
  1043. >"Like what I'm doing right now?"
  1044. >"Yes. Exactly that."
  1045. >"That one's a little more intimate than a hug. It is often done between family members, very good friends, when trying to comfort someone very sad, or when trying to make a move on someone."
  1046. >He swallows nervously.
  1047. >"And is there any way to know for certain whether a mare is trying to... Make a move when she's nuzzling someone?"
  1048. >She hums, pretending to think.
  1049. >"Well, there's no absolute way, though if a mare is nuzzling a male that she's not involved with, then that's more than likely a signal that she's looking to become involved. Though, if a mare actually starts nibbling on their ears and neck, yeah, that's a clear signal with no room for error."
  1050. >She lifts her head away from Anon as she says it, to his confusion.
  1051. >The entire time she's saying it, though, she's looking at you with a significant look.
  1052. >Reading you loud and clear, Lieutenant.
  1053. >You exhale a warm breath around anon's ear, curiously nibbling on the alien shape with your lips and the very tips of your teeth.
  1054. >He gasps, tensing up.
  1055. >You extend a wing, draping it across his chest in a calming manner.
  1056. "Shhhh... Shhhh... Relax... I'm not going to hurt you."
  1057. >"And... What *are* you going to do to me?"
  1058. >You give him the best smoldering look you can.
  1059. >He swallows nervously again.
  1060. "Give you another ride, I hope... This time on my back, maybe...?"
  1061. >He goes silent again, pressing his lips together.
  1062. >Slowly, he reaches for your wing with the hand that was occupied with Fleetfoot's neck, watching your expression the entire time.
  1063. >You smile approvingly, grabbing his hand with a hoof yourself, and putting it on your wing.
  1064. "Don't be shy. Get a good feel. Any pegasus mare loves getting her wings appreciated. Doubly so by someone that's not a pegasus, as Fleetfoot told you."
  1065. >He slowly strokes your wing, feeling it out with his fingertips.
  1066. >You can barely feel it. He's really gentle.
  1067. >"So..."
  1068. "Hmmm?"
  1069. >"I heard the rumors, but I honestly didn't believe them."
  1070. "Yeah? What kind of rumors?"
  1071. >"About mares. And men."
  1072. >Fleetfoot chuckles.
  1073. >"I deny everything! Unless it's the good kind of rumors. Then everything is true, no matter how ridiculous it sounds."
  1074. >He chuckles.
  1075. >"I see how it is."
  1076. "Do you now?"
  1077. >"Yeah. You birds carry me away to your nest and eat me. Or feed me to your young."
  1078. >You and Fleetfoot laugh.
  1079. "Oh Celestia, you humans are hopeless. What do I need to do to make you understand that I want you inside me?" You ask sarcastically.
  1080. >"Inside you, as in eat me...?" He says with a manure-eating grin.
  1081. >You smack him in the face with the wing.
  1082. >"Ow."
  1083. "I thought men were tough?"
  1084. >"We are. You caught me by surprise, is all."
  1085. >He adds then, more quietly, looking away.
  1086. >"You really did."
  1087. >You nibble on his ear, feeling a shiver run through his entire body.
  1088. >He turns to look you in the eyes again.
  1089. "So... You want to go somewhere more comfortable? Somewhere with a bed, maybe?"
  1090. >Please say yes.
  1091. >He looks between you and Fleetfoot nervously.
  1092. >"With... With both of you? Again, I heard rumors, but..."
  1093. >Fleetfoot shakes her head, stepping away from him.
  1094. >"Nope! Don't worry, big guy, we're not going to crowd you. I was just helping Spitfire out."
  1095. >"Oh, so you were a wing... Uh..."
  1096. >"Wingmare!"
  1097. >He looks at her wings.
  1098. >"I wonder how did that word develop in Equestria when a third of the mares have actual wings."
  1099. "Huh?"
  1100. >"What? I'm wondering about the etymology of the word "wingmare". It's an interesting question, I think. Are pegasi mares especially known to help out other mares in getting laid?"
  1101. >Fleetfoot snorts, holding in her laughter with a hoof while you roll your eyes.
  1102. "How about you study something else about pegasi right now? Like, say... Pegasus anatomy?"
  1103. >He bites his lip, studying your expression.
  1104. >Come on, don't back out now...
  1105. >He rests his head on your muzzle, kissing you on the nose.
  1106. >"Yeah, alright."
  1107. "Really?!"
  1108. >"WOOOO YEAH! Who's the best wingmare?!"
  1109. >Fleetfoot yells exuberantly, launching into the air and flying in circles.
  1110. >You press against him with your entire body, using both wings to hug him. Nuzzling him, you whisper into his ear.
  1111. "Thank you. I need this... So badly."
  1112. >He answers in a low voice.
  1113. >"Long... Dry spell?"
  1114. "Very. I heard you humans are very considerate lovers, though. You'll be nice... Right?"
  1115. >"Of- of course. Just... I don't know the first thing about how to please a mare."
  1116. "Well, I... Don't really know how to please a man, either. Fleetfoot's the one with the experience. The whole thing was her suggestion and her plan."
  1117. >You both blink at each other before looking at the mare in question.
  1118. >She notices your stares after a couple circles.
  1119. >"Hm? What's up? Should I skedaddle now?"
  1120. >"Uh, the opposite actually. We might need some... Pointers?"
  1121. >"Oh, come on, surely you can figure it out. Shove rod D into slot C, apply lots of friction, boom! Success."
  1122. >You both snort simultaneously.
  1123. "Tell me honestly, Fleetfoot... Is it that easy? What was your first time with a human like?"
  1124. >She bites her lip, rubbing the back of her head.
  1125. >"Um... A little unimpressive, at first? Some of our poses really don't work with humans, and vice versa. Others are great, though!"
  1126. "And... How long did it take you until you went from figuring stuff out to having fun?"
  1127. >"Oh, uh... Around an hour, I think?"
  1128. >You groan, facehoofing.
  1129. >"Hey, it was fun! You have no idea what's it like having a human explore your entire body with his hands. Really sends pleasant shivers down your spine. Though I did need to spend some time... Encouraging him."
  1130. >You glance at Anon's hands.
  1131. >He uses both of them to scratch your ears, sending pleasant shivers down your spine.
  1132. >You flick your tail, feeling your nethers heat up.
  1133. "While that does sound fun, Fleet, I don't think I can last more than five minutes before I just start desperately rubbing myself all over him."
  1134. >She snorts, rolling her eyes, though Anon doesn't seem entirely against such a prospect.
  1135. >"Alright, fine. Let's go find a hotel room before you get arrested for public rutting."
  1136. >Anon tilts his head.
  1137. >"So are you... Coming with?"
  1138. >"In a strictly advisory manner! It'd be illegal for me to join in, anyway."
  1139. >"Huh? Is there a law...?"
  1140. "I'm her captain, Anon. There's rules about fraternization between subordinates and their superiors in the military."
  1141. >"Ohhhhhhh right, that. Yeah. So I suppose we should... Get going?"
  1142. >He slowly gets up, making you slide off of him.
  1143. >On the way down, you catch the sight of a noticeable bulge in his pants.
  1144. >Oooh. Spitfire likey.
  1145. >Launching into a somersault, you flap your wings, flipping over and landing on his back.
  1146. >"Whoa!"
  1147. "No time for sightseeing this time, Anon! Let's go, you sexy alien stud!"
  1148. >"You really think I'm s- Waugh!"
  1149. >You fly him off the wall and down the street, keeping a much lower altitude this time.
  1150. >Fortunately, you already know most of the hotels in Canterlot, having spent plenty of time here.
  1151. >There is one really close that's built with a view over the wall, which is where you go.
  1152. >The view is not what you're going for, though. All you need now is a bed and some privacy.
  1153. >And, if the rumors and Fleetfoot's stories are true, a few whole hours of time.
  1154. >You do your best not to think about what those hours might entail so you don't end up smelling of arousal when you get to the hotel.
  1155. >You're pretty sure they'll know what's up anyway, but it doesn't mean that you're going to act like someone with no self-control or self-respect.
  1156. >The three of you make good time, and before long, you, Fleetfoot and a slightly windswept Anon are standing in the reception of the Valley View hotel.
  1157. >"Room for three, please. Herd-sized bed."
  1158. >Fleetfoot goes to pay for the room while you two stand off to the side, trying not to fidget.
  1159. >"Very well, give me just a minute. Third floor okay?"
  1160. >"Yup, perfect!"
  1161. >Moments later, she's trotting over with the key, and you all move towards the stairs.
  1162. >Instinctively, you surround Anon from both sides, brushing against his legs with your tails, making him blush.
  1163. >"Room three-oh-nine. Here."
  1164. >Fleetfoot opens the door, letting you two go first.
  1165. >You glance around briefly. Pretty nice four-star hotel room.
  1166. >The bed holds your entire attention, though.
  1167. >While Anon looks around a bit more, you beeline towards it.
  1168. >Jumping on it, you sit down, whistling to him.
  1169. >"Yeah? What's up, Spitfire?"
  1170. >You spread your wings wide, tossing your mane and fluffing out your chest tuft, addressing him in a husky voice.
  1171. "Take a wild guess, stud."
  1172. >He swallows nervously as a grinning Fleetfoot trots up behind him and begins pushing him with her head towards the bed.
  1173. >"Well come on, Anon, don't just stand there gawking. The mare needs you. Don't you want to go over there and bury your face in that chest fluff while you grope her shapely, muscular flanks?"
  1174. >"Y-yeah..."
  1175. >"Don't keep her waiting, then."
  1176.  
  1177. >She pushes him to the edge of the bed, where he stops, his eyes roaming all over your body.
  1178. >You lean backwards, moving your tail aside and leaving everything exposed.
  1179. "Like what you see?"
  1180. >"Uh-huh..."
  1181. >His eyes linger on your teats and marehood, his hands clenching a little.
  1182. >It's a little hard to see, but you're pretty sure he's got a bulge in his pants again, bigger than before.
  1183. >Good stuff.
  1184. >Fleetfoot stops pushing him, taking into the air and tugging at his sweater.
  1185. >"Come on, start losing those clothes."
  1186. >"A-alright, slow down a little..."
  1187. >"Wonderbolts don't do "slow", stud. Yes yes, I know. You're nervous to undress in front of an alien. Relax. We're not going to judge you. And besides, that's hardly fair to us, isn't it? Spitfire's already naked, with all her goods on display. So lose your top, at the very least."
  1188. >You watch as Fleetfoot wrestles with his clothes, yanking off the sweater to reveal another layer of cloth.
  1189. >Tossing the sweater on a chair, she bites the collar of... Whatever that thing is called, pulling it off as well, to reveal... Another layer?
  1190. "How much stuff do you humans wear?"
  1191. >"What? Canterlot is on a mountain. Maybe it's fine for you pegasi since you live in the clouds anyway, but it gets chilly for us normal people."
  1192. "Poor guy. Come here, I'll warm you up..."
  1193. >As he removes the last article of clothing himself, you stand up on the bed, trotting closer to him.
  1194. >While he's pulling it over his head and his vision is obscured, you rear up on your hind legs, pressing forward the moment he takes it off completely.
  1195. >"Oh, uh..."
  1196. >*SNIIIFFFFF*
  1197. >You put your forelegs on his shoulders, running your muzzle across his body and taking a deep whiff.
  1198. >Not a stallion. Definitely something male, though.
  1199. >Certainly more than enough of a male to send tingles running through your body.
  1200. >He flinches, leaning back a bit.
  1201. >Fortunately, Fleetfoot is there to intervene, landing on his back in a similar position that you were carrying him in, pushing him forward.
  1202. >"Hey, hey, relax. Everything's fine. That's just how ponies get a feel for each other."
  1203. >You look at Anon's face. He looks terribly embarrassed and slightly confused.
  1204. "What's wrong, big guy? You smell nice."
  1205. >"I... Do?"
  1206. >Fleetfoot nuzzles the side of his head.
  1207. >"Yeah you do. Ponies and humans do things a little differently, is all. As I learned, our sense of smell is way better than yours. Your sense of touch is something out of this world, though. Literally. Go on, quit being so shy and get a feel of Spitfire. She's certainly getting a good feel of you."
  1208. >He nervously extends his hands towards you, placing them on your sides as you keep slowly running your muzzle across his neck and upper chest, exploring the curious scent and the alien feel of smooth skin.
  1209. "So why'd you flinch back like that?"
  1210. >Fleetfoot goes in to explain once more.
  1211. >"The only time humans can smell each other is when they begin to stink, so if a human can smell another one, it's embarrassing for them."
  1212. "Another thing you learned through experience?"
  1213. >"Heh, yeah. There were lots of tiny little freakouts like this that I had to talk through and deal with. Hopefully, I can head off most of them now. Speaking of..."
  1214. >You exhale against Anon's neck, feeling little shivers running through his body. Sticking your tongue out, you give him little licks and bites, enjoying the vaguely salty flavor.
  1215. >Meanwhile Fleetfoot, still on his back, flaps her wings once, pushing him forward.
  1216. >"Come on, Anon, quit being selfish and grab her butt already. See her cutiemarks? Right there. Get in there and start groping!"
  1217. >"...Selfish?"
  1218. >"Yeah. You're really going to keep those lovely hands to yourself the entire night? Make Spitfire do all the work?"
  1219. >He gulps as he trails his hands lower, right where Fleetfoot directed.
  1220. >You pretend not to notice, going for a nibble on his ear.
  1221. >Oh.
  1222. >Oooh.
  1223. "Ooooooh."
  1224. >You had felt hooves on your flanks plenty of times (Though far more often they were masseuses, not ponies you slept with), but this was certainly different.
  1225. >Hooves could apply pressure, but humans were really able to grasp things with their hands in a way hooves just couldn't.
  1226. >Your muscles reflexively tense up, making Anon gasp.
  1227. >"Wow."
  1228. "You like my butt, big guy? I am a top athlete, you know."
  1229. >"It's pretty damn impressive, yeah."
  1230. "Then stop holding back. If you experience the world through touch instead of smell, then start touching me already."
  1231. >Fleetfoot chimes in from his back.
  1232. >"Yeah, Anon, how many times do I have to tell you to start groping her until you start groping her?"
  1233. >"It's just... Nothing, nevermind. Sorry."
  1234. >He finally goes for it, running his hands all across your body, feeling out the curves and muscles.
  1235. >He seems to especially like exploring your flight and flank muscles, coming back to them again and again.
  1236. >You start breathing more heavily, enjoying every moment of it.
  1237. >His nails are really soft, but just hard enough to feel really pleasant as they part your coat and run across your skin.
  1238. >Fleetfoot looks on with approval, giving Anon a few minutes before she starts whispering advice into his ear.
  1239. >Since you're so close to his ears yourself, you hear pretty much everything.
  1240. >"Want to know how to make a mare feel good? Keep kneading her flanks and touching her, but for pegasi, there's this special hard to reach spot that's just made for your fingers. Right between the wings, where the coat meets the feathers, it tends to itch. Get your hand in there, and do NOT hold back."
  1241. >He nods, trailing a hand to the indicated spot and making you tense with anticipation. When the starts scratching, you are not disappointed.
  1242. >You let out a pleasured coo, your entire body trembling.
  1243. >Arching your back, you press your body against him, feeling his erection against your belly.
  1244. >Oh mare, you need that thing inside you.
  1245. >Seeing your reaction, he scratches harder, making your wings droop and shiver as you pant.
  1246. >You feel yourself wink, a drop of your arousal running down your thighs.
  1247. "Buck yesss..."
  1248. >He seems to gain more confidence when he sees how good he's making you feel, trailing one hand downwards and curiously exploring your teats.
  1249. >You press yourself closer, mashing your mouths together and kissing him fiercely.
  1250. >It ends up being really sloppy since your mouths are quite different and you're out of practice, but you don't care.
  1251. >Panting, you pull off him, grabbing his cheeks with your hooves.
  1252. "Enough. By Celestia, enough. I need you, right bucking now. Please."
  1253. >"Alright. How, uh..."
  1254. >Before he can finish speaking, you turn around, face down and flank high in the air, winking right at him.
  1255. >"Whoa."
  1256. "Rut me. No fancy moves. Just mount me and-"
  1257. >"Not gonna work, Spitfire. Sorry."
  1258. >You huff, turning back to Fleetfoot. She's still riding on Anon's back, smiling apologetically.
  1259. >"Trust me, I tried. There's just no way to line up comfortably. Since our heights are too different, it always ends up being too high or too low, unless you find a piece of furniture that's JUST the right height to lie on while he takes you. Then it's awesome."
  1260. "No time for that right now. Alternatives?"
  1261. >"Sure. Lie down on your back, instead. It's how humans tend to do it often, too."
  1262. "Dolphin style? Alright, whatever works."
  1263. >It's not a position that you tried before, but right now, you'd go for doing it upside-down, if that's what it took.
  1264. >Rolling over, you spread your wings wide before lying down, wiggling a bit to get comfortable.
  1265. >Then you spread your legs, making sure Anon gets a good view.
  1266. >Then you spread your marehood with your forelegs for extra measure.
  1267. "Get in there already."
  1268. >Wide-eyed, he climbs on the bed, glancing at Fleetfoot.
  1269. >"Any last-second advice?"
  1270. >She smiles widely, kissing him on the cheek.
  1271. >"Aren't you sweet? I do have some advice, in fact. Quick question first, though: Do you think we're weak?"
  1272. >He's completely stumped. To be honest, so are you.
  1273. >"Huh?!"
  1274. >"No time to dawdle, Anon! Answer, NOW! We can pick you up and fly you around like nopony's business! Do you think we're delicate or fragile?!"
  1275. >"N-no! Of course not!"
  1276. >"Then don't treat her as such! With how "cute" you men find us, you act like we're made of glass, or something. While what we really, REALLY need is a good, hard pounding. Can't remember the times I had to practically beg for one to go harder... You're not going to make her beg, are you?"
  1277. >"No way, I wouldn't do that to her."
  1278. >"Good boy. Now go on and give it to her, H-A-R-D. You want a real rutting, don't you, Spitfire?"
  1279. "Buck yes. No colt's ever given it to me as hard as I wanted them to."
  1280. >"You hear that, Anon? Think you're man enough to succeed where others have failed?"
  1281. >His expression gets a little more firm.
  1282. >"I'll do my damned best."
  1283. >With a nod, Fleetfoot finally lifts off his back, snorting and shaking her head.
  1284. >"Seems like you forgot one thing, though. Oh, you humans and your nudity taboos..."
  1285. >Biting his belt, she tugs at his pants while he grimaces in embarrassment at having forgotten something rather crucial to actually having sex. Namely, getting completely naked.
  1286. >Unzipping his pants, he drops them quickly, letting Fleetfoot pull them away.
  1287. >His erection is peeking out of the underpants, the garment not enough to contain it.
  1288. >Yanking them off, he drops them beside the bed.
  1289. >You greedily drink in the sight of his swinging rod.
  1290. >You were slightly concerned that it was going to be something alien-looking, but it's still immediately recognizable as a stallion's equipment.
  1291. >Decently long, hard shaft, with a lovely pair of balls dangling underneath.
  1292. >He crawls over to you, pausing briefly, running his gaze over your prone form.
  1293. "Come onnnnn..."
  1294. >"Sorry. You're really lovely."
  1295. "Save it for the pillow talk, hotshot. Want me to know how lovely you find me? Then show me already."
  1296. >Nodding, he kneels in front of you, grabbing his dick and touching the very tip to your marehood.
  1297. >You hold your breath in anticipation, pressing you hooves to your chest.
  1298. >He lets out a shaky breath, parting your eager lips and sliding in.
  1299. >You're as wet as can be, so there's very little resistance.
  1300. >With the angle, he gets in halfway before stopping.
  1301. >You clench on his shaft momentarily before forcing your muscles to relax, allowing him free passage.
  1302. >You expect him to start thrusting, but he shifts slightly instead, lying down on top of you and pushing more of himself inside you.
  1303. >Your eyes widen in delighted wonder as you feel him part your deepest depths, trying to guess how much of his dick is he going to put inside you.
  1304. >All of it, it turns out, as you feel the fascinating sensation of his balls slapping against your backside.
  1305. "Whoa."
  1306. >"Everything alright?"
  1307. "Never better. Your dick is awesome. I love it."
  1308. >He's too tall to reach his face, so you lick at his neck.
  1309. >"Oh, uh... Thanks."
  1310. "So, could you...?"
  1311. >"Right, sorry."
  1312. >He begins pulling out, the wonderful friction firing off long-dormant pleasure centers inside your body.
  1313. >You clench his retreating cock real hard, making him hiss in surprise.
  1314. >Expecting resistance, he pushes in forcefully, only for you to relax completely, making him ram his rod inside you with a meaty slap.
  1315. "Yes!"
  1316. >He gets the message, building up a steady rhythm.
  1317. >Keeping his promise, he pumps hard, each thrust making your hindquarters collide in a way that causes the most delightful sounds and sensations.
  1318. >You know that neither one of you is going to last long at this rate, but sometimes a wild, furious sprint that leaves you panting and your muscles burning is exactly the kind of thing you need.
  1319. >His lack of sheath is an endless source of wonder for you, as when his groin collides with yours, his whole body presses into your teats and marehood for a moment, providing you with very brief, but arousing stimulation.
  1320. >He doesn't moan at all, only panting hard as he thrusts with wild abandon.
  1321. >You're so focused on the wonderful, wet shlicking and slapping sounds of your cunt getting a good stretching that you don't notice him snaking his hands under your wings until he grabs on.
  1322. "Hhhm, whaa.."
  1323. >You're breathing a bit too hard to form words, but his goal becomes apparent immediately.
  1324. >Raking his nails across your back, he scratches the spot between your wings, making all of your limbs twitch in an uncoordinated manner.
  1325. >A high-pitched whine escapes your throat, ending in a long, drawn out whinny.
  1326. >You hope Fleetfoot didn't hear that.
  1327. >Yeah right. Ponies in the rooms next to you probably heard that.
  1328. >You blush furiously at the fact that he was able to coax such sounds out of you, though your marehood winks furiously around his dick at the sheer pleasure you're feeling.
  1329. >He slows down for the briefest moment before ramming into you even harder, grabbing you by the bases of your wings and using them as handlebars to piledrive his rock-hard dick into you with even greater leverage.
  1330. >Even the sizeable herd-sized bed starts rocking back and forth a little from the ferocity of his assault.
  1331. "Oh buck! YES! YES!!!"
  1332. >You stop caring about what kinds of sounds you're making at that point.
  1333. >If he's going to make you feel this amazing, you're sure as Tartarus going to let him hear your appreciation.
  1334. >Your hips are already sore, and he hasn't shown any signs of slowing down yet.
  1335. >Overwhelmed, you abandon any attempts to squeeze and milk his dick with your marehood, just relaxing fully and letting him have his way with you.
  1336. >Your tongue lolls out of your mouth as you're transported to heaven.
  1337. >Feebly, you manage to hook your forelegs around him in a hug, the rest of your limbs twitching helplessly.
  1338. "Hooooaaaahhhh..."
  1339. >You surrender to this magnificent stud of an alien, focusing on nothing except the feeling of getting penetrated in the most gloriously forceful way you ever felt, and the sounds of the pounding you're receiving.
  1340. >*SMACK* *SMACK* *SMACK* *SMACK* *SMACK* *SMACK* *SMACK* *SMACK* *SMACK* *SMACK* *SMACK* *SMACK* *SMACK*
  1341. >Brief thoughts flash through your pleasure-soaked brain.
  1342. >The amazing smoothness of Anon's manhood.
  1343. >The feel of his balls, still slapping against your rear.
  1344. >The thought of him emptying them deep inside you, crying out in pleasure.
  1345. >Gratitude towards Fleetfoot, the one that made this all happen.
  1346. >The tingle of reaching your peak, your muscles contracting.
  1347. >Oh.
  1348. >You didn't even notice it coming.
  1349. >You gasp and tense up as you cum, your hindlegs helplessly kicking in the air.
  1350. >You bite Anon's shoulder, muffling your whines as you hold him harder with your forelegs, splashing his crotch with your juices.
  1351. >He twitches, losing his rhythm for a moment.
  1352. >Please don't stop please don't stop pleasedontstop
  1353. >Grunting, he pushes himself back into your sensitive, clenching marehood, forcefully pushing your walls apart with his cock.
  1354. >You swear by your wings, you're going to...
  1355. >Well, you have no idea what to do to be nice to a human, but you're going to do something nice for Anon.
  1356. >Maybe buy him something nice.
  1357. >Or suck him off. A lot.
  1358. >Pulling out, he goes back to thrusting in long, deep strokes, each nerve in your pussy absolutely on fire.
  1359. >You really hope he likes it. You certainly love his dick.
  1360. >Letting go of his shoulder, you absent-mindedly lick him, your tongue getting hit with a surprisingly salty flavor.
  1361. >Whoa.
  1362. >Refocusing your eyes on him, you notice that he got quite sweaty from the workout.
  1363. >Sticking your tongue out, you eagerly lick away, making him squirm a little.
  1364. >"Hrrrng..."
  1365. >He finally reaches his peak, giving a few short thrusts before ramming himself as deep as he can.
  1366. >You sigh in pleasure as you feel him throb, pumping his alien seed inside you.
  1367. >Curiously, he doesn't flare, remaining exactly the same as he was during the act.
  1368. >You gladly pull in every drop of his gift deep inside you, doing your best to use your internal muscles to help and squeeze him as he cums.
  1369. >With how sore and overly sensitive you are, you don't really end up doing much, but he seems to appreciate it anyway.
  1370. >Letting go of your wings, he reaches towards your neck, gently running his hands upward until he ends up cupping your cheeks.
  1371. >You smile at his gentle caresses, slowly getting your wings back under control and wrapping them around him.
  1372. >Grabbing his flanks with your hindlegs, you trap his still-hard member inside you, enjoying the sensation of being full.
  1373. >Buck, you missed this.
  1374. >You both lie there, catching your breath.
  1375. >You hear the soft clip-clops of hooves moving away.
  1376. >You can't see who it is through Anon lying on top of you, but it has to be Fleetfoot.
  1377. >A few moments later, you hear the sounds of the shower being run.
  1378. >Likely cooling down after the show you put on.
  1379. >After a few minutes, Anon moves his hands towards your ears, raising himself up slightly with a groan.
  1380. >You squeeze his dick with your marehood, looking him in the eyes.
  1381. >Twitching, he turns to look at you.
  1382. >"Okay, those rumors about mares that I didn't believe before? All true. Hot damn."
  1383. >You give him a hopeful smile.
  1384. "So, uh... Did you like it?"
  1385. >He tilts his head.
  1386. >"Like... What? You? The sex?"
  1387. "My marehood. I'm not a human, after all. Did it feel good for you?"
  1388. >He blinks, before laughing and tickling your ear.
  1389. >"It was wonderful."
  1390. >You happily squeeze him again, making him grimace a bit.
  1391. "Sorry. You can pull out now."
  1392. >He gives his partially wilted member a tug, slipping out of you.
  1393. >There's a very slight feeling of disappointment, but it's far overshadowed by the absolutely massive pleasure of the afterglow.
  1394. >You lick him absently again, making him snort.
  1395. >"And here I thought I'd be the scary predator in here. Yet, you're the one that keeps tasting and chewing on me. That last bite is going to leave a mark."
  1396. >You blink as his words register, looking at his shoulder.
  1397. >There's a very well visible red bite mark, indents of your teeth pressed into his skin.
  1398. >Crap.
  1399. >Your ears fold in embarrassment.
  1400. "Oh damn, I'm so sorry, are you hurt? You were so good, and I got carried away, and-"
  1401. >He grabs your muzzle with one hand, shutting you up.
  1402. >"Shush. I'm fine, silly pony. It barely even stings."
  1403. >You nod, licking at his hand apologetically.
  1404. >He chuckles, removing it from your muzzle and shaking it.
  1405. >Interesting.
  1406. >You reach out with your forelegs, grabbing the hand.
  1407. >"What are you...?"
  1408. "So, Fleetfoot said that these are sensitive, huh?"
  1409. >"Uh..."
  1410. >You stick your tongue out fully, licking all his fingers and the flat of his hand.
  1411. >He snorts and wiggles them around, trying to pull away.
  1412. >"H-hey, cut that out."
  1413. "I'm sorry for hurting you."
  1414. >"I said that it's fine. Come on, that tickles. Also, that's dirty."
  1415. "Dirty... How?"
  1416. >"Dirty as in... If you suckle on my fingers, it's... Highly suggestive. Of you... Suckling on a different part of my anatomy."
  1417. "Ooooooh. Interesting. Like... So?"
  1418. >Instead of licking, you take a finger in your mouth, locking your lips around it and suckling on it while looking at Anon with lidded eyes.
  1419. >He blushes, still trying to pull away.
  1420. >"Yes, exactly like that."
  1421. >You let him go, smiling at him.
  1422. "Good to know. And, don't worry, I'm not trying to force you into a second round right after."
  1423. >"Thanks."
  1424. "But, uh... Would you be willing to..."
  1425. >He only thinks for a moment before leaning closer to you and kissing you on the nose.
  1426. >"Yes."
  1427. >You sigh happily, nuzzling his face.
  1428. >"Should we clean up? Then again, we'll just get messy again."
  1429. "Yeah, and Fleetfoot has the shower anyway. I bet she's rubbing one out in there, too. Or maybe she's rubbing two out. Or three. We shouldn't interrupt."
  1430. >"Huh. Alright."
  1431. >He rolls off from you, moving back a bit and lying down on his side, so that your faces are at the same level.
  1432. >Running his hands across your body, he glances at your chest.
  1433. >"So, that..."
  1434. "Come on, Anon, Fleetfoot's not the only one that you can ask questions. If there's anything, ask away, and don't be embarrassed. I'm sure lots of ponies, including Fleetfoot, had to ask humans lots of questions that they found silly, too."
  1435. >"Right, so... The thing that she mentioned - the chest tuft?"
  1436. >You glance towards your chest. A little messy, but still voluminous.
  1437. "Yeah? You like it? Want to stick your face in it?"
  1438. >"Maybe? What's the... Significance of it? It's not actually an erogenous zone, is it?"
  1439. "Mmmm, no. Oh, is it because women have those big teats on their chests? No, it's not like that for ponies. It's more of a... Hmmm... Attractive feature? Your partners can rest their faces someplace soft during aftersex cuddles. And if you have a big, fluffy tuft, other mares will be jealous, and it can catch stallion's attention. Some mares used it for dominance displays, though, by forcing a stallion's face into their tuft."
  1440. >"...Ponies are weird."
  1441. >You snort, laughing quietly.
  1442. >He considers your tuft for a moment before shrugging and resting his face on it.
  1443. >You wait for a moment before running your hoof through his hair, trying to appear nonchalant.
  1444. "Do you like it?"
  1445. >"Hmm. I think so," He mumbles, rubbing his face deeper into your tuft and caressing the edge of your chest with his fingers.
  1446. >Nice.
  1447. >You relax fully, wondering how long does it take for humans to be ready to go again.
  1448.  
  1449. >You spend some time like that, the only motions coming from Anon, who is still exploring your body.
  1450. >Fleetfoot was completely right about how touchy humans are.
  1451. >She was right on pretty much everything in regards to them, really.
  1452. >She really must have spent her entire free time these past few months doing nothing but chasing humans.
  1453. >You sigh in pleasure as Anon trails his fingers on the edge of your wings, going from the base to the very tips.
  1454. >It really is nice to have your wings appreciated.
  1455. >He carefully parts the downy feathers to examine where the primaries connect to the wing, studying everything with fascination.
  1456. >With someone else, you'd be concerned that he would mess up your feathers and you'd need a good preening, but those fingers of his are ridiculously precise.
  1457. >And gentle.
  1458. >He glances at you, as if to see if you'd object to what he's doing.
  1459. >Rolling your eyes, you move one wing over his head in a half-winghug. He can look all he wants.
  1460. >Hay, with how good he was to you, you'd probably let him yank out a feather as a memento, if he wanted to.
  1461. >He doesn't seem like that kind of guy, though.
  1462. >Moments later, Fleetfoot exits the bathroom, her signature grin back in full force.
  1463. >"So, did you two have fun?"
  1464. >You snort, removing your wing.
  1465. "While I couldn't see much due to Anon lying on top of me, I'm pretty darn sure you heard - and saw - all of the fun we had. Or, what, that wasn't fun enough by your standards? Is it going to be even wilder next time, now that Anon's not so nervous about being with a mare any more?"
  1466. >She hums contemplatively, rubbing her chin.
  1467. >You're almost afraid that she's going to say "yes".
  1468. >Almost. The other half of you is giddy with anticipation.
  1469. >Your hindquarters are sore in ways they've never been in before. It's the most satisfying muscle ache of your entire life.
  1470. >"Well, probably not. The biggest hurdle is the first time, really, and I think I managed to point you two in the right direction. From then on, it's mostly smooth sailing."
  1471. >Aww.
  1472. >Trotting over, she goes for a flying leap, landing on Anon's back.
  1473. >With a surprised "oof", he looks back at her as she starts kneading his back with her hooves.
  1474. >"Relax, dude. For how grabby you humans are with your hands, you sure react a lot to mares touching you. You really need to get used to that if you're going to be spending time in Equestria."
  1475. >"It's just... A bit unexpected."
  1476. >"Heh. It really hasn't sunk in yet?"
  1477. >"...What?"
  1478. >"The fact that we're mares, not women."
  1479. >He opens and closes his mouth a few times, lost for words.
  1480. >"Um..."
  1481. >Trailing a hand across your wing again, he glances at Fleetfoot.
  1482. >"Are you saying that I'm... Not aware that you're ponies?"
  1483. >"Are you? You keep being surprised when we don't act like humans."
  1484. >Once again, he's not sure what to say.
  1485. >Shaking her head, Fleetfoot sinks down, rubbing her chest fluff and the rest of her body against his back, partially enveloping him with her wings.
  1486. >You do the same from below, sandwiching him between the two of you.
  1487. >Going in for a quick kiss on his cheek, Fleetfoot looks at him sympathetically.
  1488. >"Poor guy. So willing to show a mare the best time of her life, and so shocked when they reciprocate with affection. No, Anon, we're not like women, in so many ways."
  1489. >"Like what?"
  1490. >"Well, we like men, for one thing."
  1491. >He takes a moment to process what she just said before starting to laugh.
  1492. >It starts slow, but soon enough, he's shaking all over and wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.
  1493. >You hold him close, gently nuzzling his face and waiting for his giggles to subside.
  1494. >"I- I want to argue with that statement, but-"
  1495. >"Don't bother, we heard all of that nonsense about "reversed roles" and other junk already. Load of manure. We know that you're much tougher because your society is harsh on you, since there's a lot more men than we have stallions. You're not on Earth any more, though, and you're still guys underneath all that hard shell and spikes you built up. You should relax a bit and give in to your natural male instincts. You'll feel much better."
  1496. >"...Right. That is exactly what is happening here."
  1497. >He still looks terribly amused. Fleetfoot's dead serious, though.
  1498. >"Yup. The sooner you accept it, the better you'll feel."
  1499. >"Uh huh."
  1500. >You can easily see that he's not convinced, though you're not very surprised.
  1501. >You can't expect to change someone's worldview so much in a single day.
  1502. >Fleetfoot moves her wings back and forth, tickling his sides and making him squirm wildly.
  1503. >"S-stop t-that, you flying feather duster."
  1504. >She complies, folding her wings with a victorious grin.
  1505. >Anon relaxes again, though his expression turns thoughtful.
  1506. >"I wonder how many mares that I talked to were actually flirting with me..."
  1507. >From her perch on his back, Fleetfoot perks up.
  1508. >"Ooh, we can help with that! That's definitely something you should know how to recognize. Tell me, how were they acting? Were they telling you things you didn't understand? Those might have been euphemisms for sexy times."
  1509. >He hums, rubbing his chin.
  1510. >"Well, now that I heard it from you two, I'm pretty sure that the mare that offered me to "ride her" meant that she wanted me to rail her... Not a literal ride."
  1511. >Both you and Fleetfoot snort, laughing a little.
  1512. "Yeah, Anon, that one's really straightforward. What else did you think it meant? Actually carrying you on her back?"
  1513. >"Well, the confusion around that one is probably never going to go away. You know that we have horses, right? Those big, equine animals, larger than your princesses? Back in the past, we used to ride them everywhere. Until we invented trains and cars, riding them was the main mode of transport, besides walking."
  1514. "Oh yeah. I've seen some photos..."
  1515. >Fleetfoot shakes her head.
  1516. >"Well, now you know, at least. Anything else?"
  1517. >"Can't think of any more verbal stuff right now. The body language, though..."
  1518. >"Yeah? Go on."
  1519. >He twists his hand backwards, scratching Fleetfoot's ear.
  1520. >"Well, since you're a pegasus, here's one: There was a mare that sort of... Spread her wings at me? She didn't fly off, and she was looking me straight in the eyes while she did it. What's that about?"
  1521. >You're pretty sure you know what he's talking about. So does Fleetfoot.
  1522. >"Oh, oh! Was it like this?"
  1523. >She flaps her wings, taking off from Anon's back.
  1524. >Landing next to the bed, she folds her wings, then extends them again, precisely paralell to the top of her body.
  1525. >"Yeah... So, what's the subtext here?"
  1526. >"Well, to fly, you need to raise your wings up, instead of doing it like this. Pegasi also tend to raise their wings if they feel like there's going to be a fight, to appear bigger. But when mares spread their wings low, like this? They're telling you that they're interested in spreading their legs for you, as well."
  1527. >"...Neat. Okay."
  1528. >She sniggers at his fascinated look.
  1529. >"Anything else?"
  1530. >"Well, I saw a lot of tail waving, but I have no idea if that's just uncoscious emotional expression or deliberate signals."
  1531. >You chuckle.
  1532. "If they raise their tails high and show off their marehoods while giving you the lidded-eyed "come rut me" look, it means they want you to come and rut them, Anon."
  1533. >He snorts.
  1534. >"Never experienced that one, but thanks. I'm sure I wouldn't have figured it out by myself."
  1535. "You're welcome."
  1536. >Chuckling, Fleetfoot turns her backside towards the bed.
  1537. >"Alright, watch this. If a mare simply flicks her tail like this or waves it around, it might be to chase off a bug, or simply expressing frustration, or something. But if they do this..."
  1538. >She waves her tail from side to side rhythmically, exposing her marehood with each swing.
  1539. >Anon shyly averts his eyes, though he still looks at her from his peripheral vision.
  1540. >"Basically, a single swish or two is nothing, but if they move their tails in a way that keeps showing off what's under them, ESPECIALLY if they keep glancing at you to gauge your reaction, yeah, a mare totally wants you to spread those lips with your dick."
  1541. >"Alright... That's... I think that a lot of mares might have wanted to have sex with me. Wow."
  1542. >You smile, nuzzling his face.
  1543. "A real hit with the mares, aren't you, hot stuff?"
  1544. >He just shakes his head in disbelief.
  1545. "Mmm. You're really not used to being appreciated, are you? Roll over. Get on your back so I can show you some appreciation."
  1546. >He tries saying something, but you shut him up with a kiss.
  1547. >Pulling off, you lick the tip of his nose.
  1548. "Come on, you still don't trust me? Relax already."
  1549. >"It's not... Nevermind."
  1550. >He clambers off of you, making sure not to put pressure on your wing.
  1551. >As he briefly sits up, Fleetfoot uses that moment to fly in and hug him from behind.
  1552. >"Huh?"
  1553. >"Shhhhhh. Just relax."
  1554. >She nuzzles him soothingly, hugging his upper body with her legs and wings.
  1555. >Gently, she guides him to lie down, resting his head on her belly.
  1556. >Using her hooves and wings, she slowly massages him while you make your move.
  1557. >Standing up, you move across the bed to lie down betwen his legs, your muzzle right in front of his crotch.
  1558. >Looking him in the eyes, you stick your tongue out, giving his flaccid shaft a lick before gently hefting his ballsack with a wing, popping one of his testicles into your mouth and running your tongue all over it.
  1559.  
  1560. >His breathing gets faster, but he remains quiet, his hands clenching.
  1561. >He starts moving one hand towards you, but Fleetfoot reaches out with her wings, pulling it back.
  1562. >"Just relax, alright? You don't have to spend every single moment when you're with a mare trying to pleasure her. Let Spitfire show some appreciation to those lovely balls of yours."
  1563. >"Lovely...?"
  1564. >"Mmmm-hmmmm."
  1565. >His expression is still somewhere between confusion and disbelief, but he stops squirming, spreading his legs a little wider for you.
  1566. >You hum in gratitude, sending soft vibrations through his balls.
  1567. >He seems to enjoy it. His dick twitches, growing right in front of your eyes.
  1568. >Well, alien or not, it looks like men really are like stallions, in some ways, at least.
  1569. >Anon is certainly liking his balls getting some appreciation from a grateful mare, even though from the way he acted, you'd guess that no one's ever done it to him before.
  1570. >You make sure to be very gentle, even though you're tempted to just stick your muzzle in there and motorboat him.
  1571. >This is for him, not for you.
  1572. >Letting go of the left ball, you trail your tongue to the right one, wrapping your lips around it and applying suction, slowly pulling it into your mouth.
  1573. >You stick your tongue out as much as you can, licking up from his taint and all across his ballsack as you pull it back in.
  1574. >He breathes in sharply, his shaft throbbing and bouncing against your muzzle.
  1575. >You consider going for it for a moment, but decide to keep at it for a little while longer.
  1576. >Switching balls again, you extend the free wing over to his manhood, wrapping it in a soft, feathery embrace.
  1577. >You never actually did anything like it before, since giving wingjobs meant extra wing maintenance afterwards, something you already spent a rather large amount of time on.
  1578. >Still, he seems to like it regardless, throbbing strongly in your grip.
  1579. >You slowly pump his shaft, lovingly suckling on his nuts the entire time.
  1580. >He's biting his lip by now, his muscles tensing up.
  1581. >Fleetfoot is watching his expression with a satisfied smile, still stroking him, bending down to give him a nuzzle now and then.
  1582. >"Spitfire, please..."
  1583. "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?"
  1584. >You make sure to draw out the "m", humming against his balls again and making him throb against your wing.
  1585. >"That feels really good, but if you're aiming to finish me off like that, it's not going to be enough. Or, it's going to take a while."
  1586. >Letting his balls go, you give them parting kisses, one for each.
  1587. "Well, I'm certainly not just trying to tease you and drag this out, if that's what you're thinking. Now... Hmmm..."
  1588. >You want to be nice to Anon, but you're not overly certain of your oral capabilities.
  1589. >You played with stallion's balls before, but you never brought a stallion to finish with your mouth, either.
  1590. >You'd help a few get hard like that, but since your goal was a good rut, you'd direct them to mount you every time.
  1591. >Still jacking Anon off with your wing, you glance at Fleetfoot.
  1592. "Got any more advice to give, Fleet?"
  1593. >Her gaze travels from Anon's face to your busy wing, getting thoughtful.
  1594. >"Anon, you feel up for another hard ride?"
  1595. >He breathes heavily, clenching his hands.
  1596. >"Yes. Please. I'm rock hard right now, I'm very much up for it."
  1597. >She nods happily, clapping her hooves together.
  1598. >"Alright! This one's my favorite. You humans call it "cowgirl", I think. It's quite inconvenient for ponies, since our legs bend differently, but... Spitfire, get up and sit down, right on his dick. Get it inside you, nice and snug."
  1599. >You nod, shuffling forward while still holding on to his shaft with your wing.
  1600. >Lining it up, you exhale in anticipation as you feel his tip spreading your lips once more.
  1601. >Letting gravity do the work, you look Anon in the eyes as you take him inside you, all the way.
  1602. >Just like before, the entry is smooth and pleasant, stretching and filling your marehood in a delightful way.
  1603. >Sitting down, you wiggle around a bit to get completely comfortable, tugging at his shaft inside you.
  1604. >You make sure to knead his dick with your internal muscles too, keeping the stimulation up.
  1605. >Anon groans in pleasure, pulling his hands away from Fleetfoot's grip and grabbing your flanks.
  1606. >You just sit there for a moment, enjoying your union.
  1607. >It's still a pretty bizarre sex position, but any position that lets you have Anon's dick deep inside you is great.
  1608. "Okay, so if this position is inconvenient for ponies... What am I supposed to do?"
  1609. >You suppose you could use your forelegs to help push off from him and bounce on his shaft, but you'd have to press on his chest quite hard.
  1610. >"Well, it's inconvenient for other tribes, but we pegasi have a secret weapon. If you use your wings, you can ride his dick very, VERY hard. You need to flap very precisely, though, since the distance is quite small."
  1611. "Ooooh. Oooooooohhhhh. Interesting..."
  1612. >Well, Anon did say he was up for a hard ride...
  1613. >Still, just to make sure.
  1614. "You don't mind if I go hard on you?"
  1615. >He snorts, shaking his head.
  1616. >"I went as hard on you as I could, so it's only fair. Show me what you got, Spitfire."
  1617. >This man.
  1618. >You don't even bother pointing out that you were the one that asked him to pound you hard in the first place.
  1619. [spoiler]>Marry me.[/spoiler]
  1620. >Crap. Good thing you didn't say that out loud.
  1621. >Get a grip on yourself, Spitfire. No time for spaghetti.
  1622. >Focusing on your wings, you give an experimental flap.
  1623. >It's a bit off, sending you back as well as up.
  1624. >Anon keeps you steady, with his hands still gripping you by the cutiemarks.
  1625. >A moment later, gravity brings you back down, mashing your marehood and teats against his groin with a smack.
  1626. >Oooof. You can see why Fleetfoot likes this position.
  1627. >You put your forelegs on his chest for balance, careful not to press too hard.
  1628. >A few flaps later, you nod confidently, having worked out the force and angle needed to lift off from the rather unusual sitting position.
  1629. "Here goes, Anon."
  1630. >He nods wordlessly, his eyes sparkling with excitement.
  1631. >Fleetfoot seems to consider leaving for a moment, before shrugging and closing her eyes, nuzzling Anon's ear and whispering something to him.
  1632. >You clench on his shaft as hard as you can, flapping and raising yourself up in the air.
  1633. >Most of his dick gets forcefully pulled out of you, the friction tugging on your walls and setting your insides on fire.
  1634. >Relaxing immediately, you fall, Anon eagerly helping to pull you down.
  1635. >The resulting slam is even harder than when he was pounding you before.
  1636. "Hooo."
  1637. >Your breath escapes you in a single exhale, your tail twitching reflexively.
  1638. >Breathing in quickly, you do your best to start a rhythm.
  1639. >It's certainly a high-effort sex position that someone probably spent a bunch of time and trial and error to think up. Far more complicated than mounting.
  1640. >It's high-reward as well, though.
  1641. "Haah!"
  1642. >You can't help but gasp from the fierce slams, feeling the impacts in your entire body.
  1643. >His dick goes in wonderfully deep, making you glance at your belly and tempting you to take a measure tape to see just how deep inside you he is.
  1644. >Maybe later.
  1645. >Though most of the pleasure comes from your opening and the lips mashing against him, getting filled this deep is immensely satisfying on a mental level, fulfilling a primal need that every mare has.
  1646. >And you can't get enough of the feeling of being united so closely that your nethers are actually rubbing together.
  1647. >It's still quite the workout, though.
  1648. >Panting furiously, you keep repeating the steps.
  1649. >Clench hard, flap your wings, pull up, feel his dick slide out of you despite your best efforts.
  1650. >Relax completely, feel him grip your rear harder, and slam into him with a splash of juices, your marehood getting absolutely rammed by his meat.
  1651. >Your previously sore marehood and thighs actually hurt now, but you can't stop. The pleasure is overwhelming.
  1652. >Neither one of you has any energy for words, keeping eye contact as you keep riding him.
  1653. >Fleetfoot keeps softly whispering to him, her eyes closed. Likely giving him encouragement or praise.
  1654. >You're certainly going to have lots of praise for him after this.
  1655. >Flap, slam. Flap, slam. Flap, slam.
  1656. >Squish.
  1657. >You wink against him, feeling a tear of pleasure fall from your eye.
  1658. >Buck, this feels good.
  1659. >You feel your muscles contract feebly, the first signs of your impending orgasm appearing.
  1660. >Gritting your teeth, you flap faster, trying to pick up speed.
  1661. >Anon adapts to your faster rhythm, giving tiny thrusts from his prone position.
  1662. >You lose control of your tired muscles, just letting his rod rearrange your abused marehood to it's shape.
  1663. >Whining slightly, you bite your lip, trying to somehow convey to Anon that you're not going to last long.
  1664. >He seems to understand, giving your butt a reassuring squeeze.
  1665. >...Or maybe he just likes squeezing your muscular butcheeks. Either way.
  1666. >Flapping again, you rise, almost at your peak.
  1667. >Breaking eye contact, you look at his manhood disappearing inside you, the sight alone making you clench reflexively.
  1668. >This sets off your orgasm, your muscles contracting wildly.
  1669. >You're pretty sure you'd have made some more embarrassing noises if you weren't so out of breath.
  1670. >A tiny whinny still escapes your lips as you splash his groin with your juices.
  1671. >Damn it, did he cum?
  1672. >You can't leave him unsatisfied...
  1673. >Fortunately, it seems that your previous efforts with your wings and mouth were enough to build up some pleasure, enough for you to finish simultaneously.
  1674. >Giving a couple tiny thrusts, he grinds against you, his shaft throbbing inside you for the second time.
  1675. >Tired, you collapse against him, splaying out on his chest and riding out the waves of pleasure.
  1676. >He immediately removes his hands from your rear, running his nails across your coat and scratching fiercely at the spot between your wings.
  1677. >Another long whine escapes you as your wings twitch wildly, giving a few uncoordinated flaps.
  1678. >You got sweaty from the sex, and his fingers feel amazing at relieving the clammy sensation.
  1679. >You start licking his chest, neck, and every other spot that you can reach, colecting the salty goodness and doing your best to show your appreciation for being such a generous and selfless lover.
  1680. >Leaving one hand between your wings, he moves the other one on your neck, gently caressing you.
  1681. >You're both panting, exhausted, but pleased like never before.
  1682. >You want to stay with him like this for the rest of the night, with his amazing alien dick snug and warm in your marehood, where it belongs.
  1683. >You know that that's impossible, though.
  1684. >You can already feel his member slowly wilting, slipping out of you.
  1685. >Sighing, you pull yourself forward, moving to kiss Anon.
  1686. >His dick slips out, but it's an acceptable casualty.
  1687. >You both spend some time carefully exploring each other's mouths, trying to figure out the best way to kiss.
  1688. >It's a bit awkward, but you keep working on it for a good few minutes.
  1689. >He doesn't seem to mind you shoving your entire tongue in his mouth, fiercely caressing his gums and tongue.
  1690. >Eventually, you break off, still panting.
  1691. >Tired, you lay back down on his chest, nuzzling his neck slowly.
  1692. >You feel something shift, opening your eyes.
  1693. >Fleetfoot extricates herself from below Anon, giving him a pat on the head with a wing before hopping off the bed.
  1694. >Though she kept her eyes closed, you notice that her nether lips are glistening, likely still turned on by being right next to the wild, bed-shaking ride you just gave Anon.
  1695. >She flaps to the bathroom again, closing the door behind her.
  1696. >She can have it. You're in no hurry to move just yet.
  1697.  
  1698. >You don't even notice the time go by. Seemingly moments later, the bathroom door clicks, Fleetfoot trotting out.
  1699. >"Soooo, did you two have fun?"
  1700. >You share a glance with Anon before both of you laugh tiredly.
  1701. "Cut it out, you. Yes, you're the best wingmare ever, and this was the best rut of my life, better than all the previous ones combined. Happy? I'd give you a medal, but I don't think I can write a recommendation for this."
  1702. >She shrugs, taking to the air and going to the windows, opening them one by one.
  1703. >"I think I'll survive. You can buy me a drink next time we're out together, though."
  1704. "*A* drink? Mare, drinks are on me for the next decade, at least."
  1705. >You feel colder, the breeze from the open windows making all the spots covered in your juices feel chilly.
  1706. >And there's a lot of those spots. Sweat, too.
  1707. >Anon squirms a bit as well, likely feeling the same thing.
  1708. "Bleh... Why'd you make it cold? Now I have to get up."
  1709. >"Well, I was kind of assuming that we're going to sleep here, and I want to air it out. Unless you mean to fly to Cloudsdale or somewhere else tonight? It is dark already."
  1710. >You stretch out your legs and wings experimentally, flinching from the pain.
  1711. >Yeah, you're not flying anywhere.
  1712. "Alright, fine... Guess it's better to wash up before all this cum dries out in my coat anyway. Come on, Anon. We can share the shower. Or maybe the bath. I think they have large baths here..."
  1713. >"Sure."
  1714. >You both slide off the bed, swaying a little.
  1715. >Your legs shake, while Anon stands up in a strange, bow-legged pose.
  1716. "You alright there?"
  1717. >He grins.
  1718. >"Totally worth it."
  1719. "...Yeah, it was."
  1720. >Fleetfoot flaps around a bit, making the air move faster.
  1721. >"Want me to go down and order some food?"
  1722. >Hm.
  1723. "Yeah. After such a workout... I think I'll need something more in me."
  1724. >"Okay. I'll get something for you too, Anon. Don't worry, I know what humans can and can't eat."
  1725. >"Thanks, Fleetfoot. You're the best."
  1726. >"Don't I know it."
  1727. >The two of you stagger into the bathoom, looking around.
  1728. >Not very roomy, but the space is crammed with everything you could want, including a bath that looks big enough for you to bathe together with Anon.
  1729. "Score. Let's go."
  1730. >He nods, walking alongside you.
  1731. >With his long limbs, he's the first to reach the faucets, immediately turning them on.
  1732. >Meanwhile, you hop into the bath, reaching for the plug.
  1733. >Your tasks completed, you both sit down, waiting for the water to rise.
  1734. >Anon looks around, finding some neatly stacked, hotel-sized bars of soaps and shampoo bottles.
  1735. >Grabbing a few, he puts them on the rim of the bath.
  1736. >You sigh in pleasure as the water splashes against your sore, sore privates.
  1737. >Glancing at Anon's equipment, you notice that his rod is now an angry red, likely chafed from the absolutely furious rutting.
  1738. >Damn. He's a real trooper.
  1739. >Sliding forward, you hug him, nibbling on his ear.
  1740. >He reciprocates by grabbing your ears with his fingers, squeezing and tugging them gently.
  1741. >"Don't tell me you're getting frisky again."
  1742. "Hm? No, no... Just being appreciative. Do you want me to stop? Is it weird for you when I nibble on your ears? I think humans don't do that... Right?"
  1743. >"Well, I can't speak for everyone, but I'm pretty sure they don't. Don't stop, though. It's really nice."
  1744. >You nod, giving his ear a few more nibbles and a lick before resting your head on his shoulders.
  1745. "Thank you."
  1746. >"What for? Spitfire, I should be thanking you."
  1747. >You growl a little bit in frustration.
  1748. >There is such a thing as being too nice.
  1749. "Anon, I'm the one that tracked you down - with Fleetfoot's help - and dragged you off to screw you silly because I didn't get any action for years, riding you so hard you'll probably be sore for days. I took up all that was left of your day, possibly ruined other plans that you had - sorry if I did, by the way - and you took it all not only without complaint, but by Celestia, you gave me the best lay ever. Yes, I know you enjoyed it too, but this was still me satisfying my urges on that awesome, glorious alien dick of yours. So, here's what's going to happen now: I'm going to say "Thank you for being such a wonderful sex partner and making me feel so good, Anon, I hope my marehood felt good enough for you to completely empty those beautiful, exotic balls deep inside me." And you're going to say: "You're welcome, Spitfire, I am indeed a very generous lover and I am happy to have treated you so well, using my amazing hands and dick to look out for your pleasure the entire time we were going at it." So."
  1750. >You clear your throat as Anon gives you a flat look.
  1751. "Thank you for being such a wonderful sex partner and making me feel so good, Anon, I hope my marehood felt good enough for you to completely empty those beautiful, exotic balls deep inside me."
  1752. >"You're welcome, Spitfire, but I'm not saying the rest of that stuff."
  1753. >You huff.
  1754. "Well, I'm not unreasonable. I guess a compromise is good enough."
  1755. >He shakes his head, tickling your ears with his fingers.
  1756. >"You're a silly pony, Spitfire."
  1757. "No... You're a silly human, Anon."
  1758. >He grins, grabbing a bar of soap.
  1759. >"I highly doubt that."
  1760. "We're in Equestria, pal. My authority on what constitutes silly behavior trumps yours."
  1761. >"...Dang it."
  1762. >The two of you remain quiet for a while, grabbing bathing implements and soaps.
  1763. >It takes Anon a surprisingly long amount of time to get your back, once you turn it towards him.
  1764. >You shiver in delight as he massages the lather into your coat.
  1765. >When you try to get his, he looks at you in confusion.
  1766. "What's the matter? Don't you want me to get your back? Humans don't do that?"
  1767. >"Oh. No, not really. Look."
  1768. >He reaches towards his back with his arms, the limbs bending at painful-looking angles.
  1769. "Whoa. Useful when you're alone, I guess, but that still looks awkward. Come on, turn around."
  1770. >He complies, presenting his smooth, furless back.
  1771. >The lack of coat means it takes a surprisingly short amount of time to clean.
  1772. >You feel a tiny bit jealous, wondering if wearing clothes all the time is more convenient than having to spend more time grooming.
  1773. >You always make sure to keep up on your hygiene and appearance, being in the military and all, but very few mares actually enjoy the time they spend to keep up with their grooming regimes.
  1774. >Once the water gets higher, you both squat down lower, enjoying the heat before rinsing off.
  1775. >The water gets murky. You wonder if Anon wants to drain it and refill again.
  1776. >He doesn't say anything, but you unplug anyway, letting the filthy water drain out before plugging the bath again.
  1777. >Remembering his aversion to cold (and wanting to do it anyway), you drape yourself over him while the bathtub refills.
  1778. >Smiling, he wraps his arms around you, running his fingers all across your back and neck.
  1779. >You wonder whether you should say anything, but decide against it.
  1780. >The two of you lazily soak in the bath for a good half an hour, resting your sore muscles.
  1781. >Anon seems tireless, though, never stopping his constant caresses with his hands.
  1782. >Your hooves, your legs, your neck, your back, everything gets touched, rubbed, squeezed, massaged and explored.
  1783. >Surely he has to get worn out some time?
  1784. >You don't have the motivation to tell him to stop and get a break, though, floating in a haze of relaxed pleasure, barely feeling your limbs.
  1785. >You flinch slightly as you sink into the bath, your muzzle going underwater.
  1786. >Alright, maybe you got a little too relaxed.
  1787. >Snorting the water out of your nose, you hook your forelegs on the edge of the bath.
  1788. "Alright, we should probably get out of here now, before we fall asleep or something."
  1789. >"Yeah, it's been a while, I'm getting wrinkly. Let's go see what Fleetfoot brought."
  1790. >He unplugs the bath, standing up and waiting for a minute before stepping out and reaching for a towel.
  1791. >He looks back at you curiously.
  1792. >"Something wrong?"
  1793. "Not really? Just gotta wait until it drains out so I can squeeze some of the water out of my coat, or I'll need twenty towels. Guess you don't have that problem."
  1794. >"Oh. Huh. Makes sense."
  1795. >He gets to towelling, needing just one towel despite his larger frame.
  1796. >Though he does have some noticeable patches of hair here and there, they're still really sparse, compared to a pony.
  1797. >You find it a bit odd that he has hair around his groin, and pretty much nothing almost everywhere else. Complete opposite to a pony.
  1798. >Once he's done, he observes you as you fix some stray feathers in your wings.
  1799. >Smoothing down a feather, you remember the feeling of his rock-hard manhood, straining against the grip of your wing.
  1800. >You kind of want to experience it again.
  1801. >Except you want to feel him throb in your feathers as he cums, too.
  1802. >Dang it. Darn sex-beast alien, giving you new kinks.
  1803. >Kicking those thoughts away, you go back to the present.
  1804. >Shaking some water away, you brush your chest with your hooves, squeezing out your waterlogged tuft.
  1805. >Anon walks over, reaching out with those hands of his.
  1806. "I don't need any back scratches right now, Anon."
  1807. >"Heh. Wasn't going to do that."
  1808. >He starts squeezing your tail, wringing out the water.
  1809. "Oooh. Nice. Here."
  1810. >You stand up in the bath, presenting your rear to him.
  1811. >He sneaks in a subtle grope before going back to your tail.
  1812. >Naughty. You like it.
  1813. >It doesn't take long with his help, and moments later, you step out of the bath, and he helps you towel off, too.
  1814. >You sigh in pleasure as he carefully presses the towel against the base of your wings, slowly moving lower.
  1815. >Drying out your mane, you toss the towel in the hamper.
  1816. "Good stuff, Anon. Let's go get some grub."
  1817. >You feel like kissing him on the cheek for all the help, but he's too tall, and there's not enough space to fly into the air and reach it.
  1818. >Instead, you settle for nuzzling and landing a kiss on his belly.
  1819. >He looks at you with mild confusion.
  1820. "What? You're too tall for me to reach your face."
  1821. >Smiling, he shakes his head, tweaking your ear with his fingers.
  1822. >"Silly pony."
  1823. "That wasn't silly, Anon, that was the only option. It was perfectly logical."
  1824. >"You could have asked me to bend down."
  1825. "Meh. Less fun."
  1826. >"So that wasn't the only option after all?"
  1827. >Getting sassy, are we?
  1828. >Suit yourself, Anon. You brought this on yourself.
  1829. "Alright, that wasn't the only option. I could have kissed you somewhere else. Somewhere that's even more fun, in fact."
  1830. >Rubbing your side against his leg, you bend your neck towards his crotch, landing a kiss on his ballsack.
  1831. >He stares at you for a moment.
  1832. >You just smile smugly at him.
  1833. >"...You really like balls, don't you?"
  1834. "Well, duh. Every red-blooded mare does, and I'm no different. They're a rather defining part of a stallion, after all. Or a man, in your case."
  1835. >Phew.
  1836. >You almost said "the most important part" there.
  1837. >Stallions would scream if you said that, even if it's completely true.
  1838. >You don't know if Anon would, with his strange views, but you don't want to risk it.
  1839. >"So it's not just a kink of yours?"
  1840. >You squint at him.
  1841. "No? Don't tell me humans don't appreciate a fine pair of balls. What do you people even find attractive, anyway?"
  1842. >"Well, you have the finest booty I have ever witnessed, this world or the other."
  1843. >That makes you puff your chest up in pride.
  1844. >"Your alien features certainly grew on me almost instantly, too, like your soft coat and tuft, or your wings."
  1845. >Aww yiss, you're the hottest.
  1846. >"And though your tits are realy small, I still kind of wanted to pinch them. Heh."
  1847. >The last bit makes you press your hindlegs together, though.
  1848. "You... You wanted to twist my teats?"
  1849. >Getting your teats twisted by guys is bad enough when they do it metaphorically, but getting it done for real?
  1850. >"What? No, not twist. Just play with them a little. You know, squeeze, rub, pinch just a little? Maybe lick them a bit?"
  1851. "That... Something that humans do?"
  1852. >This time, he's the one that gives you a look.
  1853. >"Don't tell me ponies don't appreciate a fine pair of tits."
  1854. >You stare at each other for a long moment.
  1855. >Slowly, you canter back over to the bath.
  1856. "W-well, I already had your balls in my mouth, so... You want to... See them?"
  1857. >He shuffles awkwardly, considering it.
  1858. >"As long as this doesn't turn into more sex. It was awesome, but I don't think I have any more in me tonight."
  1859. >You sigh in relief.
  1860. "Yeah, don't worry about me jumping you, I'm spent too. So, um... Have fun?"
  1861. >You clamber on the edge of the bath, sitting down and spreading your hindlegs, your teats on display.
  1862. >You're not certain about this, but you want to let him have something for himself, after he let you do whatever you wanted to him.
  1863. >He squats down, glancing at your face before bringing his nose millimeters from your teats.
  1864. >Sticking his tongue out, he goes for a cautious lick of a nipple, cupping the other one with his hand.
  1865. >You really, really don't get the interest. Sure, yours are nice and aerodynamic, but that's it. They're just teats.
  1866. >As he keeps playing with them, though, you feel the familiar warmth start to build in your hindquarters.
  1867. >Having him actually appreciate a part of you that stallions either ignore if they're flat or criticize them if they're big is oddly satisfying.
  1868. >Though his soft fingers feel nice as he rubs your teats in circles, you're more turned on from the idea of him playing with your teats than him actually doing it.
  1869. >You bite your lip, thinking about unsexy stuff.
  1870. >Fortunately, he finishes soon, suckling on your left teat for a moment before letting go, his face slightly red.
  1871. >"Thanks. It didn't... Feel good for you?"
  1872. >You shrug, but decide to be honest.
  1873. "It was kind of nice, and maybe I'd like it as foreplay, but it wasn't anything crazy. Is it different for humans?"
  1874. >"Well, some women claim that they can actually cum just from someone playing with their tits, though having them so sensitive is rare, I think. No clue if that's true."
  1875. >You look back at your girls. Huh.
  1876. >Shrugging, you get off the bath.
  1877. "I don't think mares are like that, Anon. I'm sure they'd let you play with their teats if you ask nicely, though. Especially if you let them play with your balls."
  1878. >He chuckles, shaking his head.
  1879. >"That's still so weird."
  1880. "No, it's the opposite of weird. It's normal. Don't be so dismissive of your male assets, Anon. You have some good ones, and you should be happy."
  1881. >"Uh huh, sure."
  1882. >You trot after him with a glare as he goes for the door.
  1883. "You're asking for trouble, buster. Do I need to teach you a lesson in self-confidence and appreciating your body?"
  1884. >"What are you going to do, yell at me in a drill sergeant voice to shout how much I love my amazing balls?"
  1885. "...I guess not, now that you headed me off. Smartflank."
  1886. >He stops, his expression sligthly incredulous.
  1887. >"Seriously?"
  1888. "You think I'm joking? I would've done it, too. Come here, you."
  1889. >You rear up, hugging his torso and nuzzling his belly.
  1890. "Now, I'm not going to make you shout, but I'm not letting you go until you say "I have a lovely, lickable, symmetrical pair of balls that any mare would be happy to heft in her hooves and suck on."
  1891. >He gives you a flat look.
  1892. >"While I appreciate you teaching me all these Equestrian... "Customs", Spitfire, you're pushing your luck. How about..."
  1893. >He reaches for your ears, tickling you and making you squirm.
  1894. >"How about I don't say anything, unless you say "I have a lovely, suckable, perky, soft pair of tits that any guy would be happy to grope and play with."?
  1895. >You glare at him through the tickles.
  1896. >Oh, he wants to play chicken? With you?
  1897. >Bring it.
  1898. "I have a lovely, suckable, perky, soft pair of tits that any guy would be happy to grope and play with."
  1899. >"...Damn it."
  1900. >You grin the smuggest grin ever at him.
  1901. "Your turn."
  1902. >"Fffff... Fine. I have a lovely, lickable, symmetrical pair of balls that any mare would be happy to heft in her hooves and suck on."
  1903. >He grimaces as he says it.
  1904. >Silly man.
  1905. >Letting go of him, you slide down, making sure to give his balls one last kiss.
  1906. "And don't you forget it."
  1907. >Opening the door, you finally exit the bath, Anon silently following behind you.
  1908. >Fleetfoot's there, sitting next to a chair with several plates of food, chewing on something.
  1909. >Seems to be a vegetable spread, but that's fine for you. Better than eating something heavy before sleeping.
  1910. >While you beeline for the table, Anon goes off to get his clothes.
  1911. "You humans really like covering yourself up, don't you? Still shy, even after that amazing rutting?"
  1912. >He shakes his head.
  1913. >"Even with the windows closed, this is still less than comfortable for me. Sorry, Spitfire, but no more naked me until I go to sleep."
  1914. "Fair enough. Come eat something."
  1915. >Fleetfoot indicates a few plates with a hoof to him, to which he nods gratefully.
  1916. >You glance at them idly, trying to figure out the difference between the plants that you can eat and he can't.
  1917. >The only thing that stands out is the lack of hay and flowers in his plates, though there might be something else.
  1918. >Shrugging, you go back to eating.
  1919. >Having started earlier, Fleetfoot finishes first.
  1920. >Rubbing her belly in satisfaction, she grins at you.
  1921. >"So, did you two have fun?"
  1922. >Anon snorts, his mouth full.
  1923. "We didn't screw in there, Fleet. I've got lots of endurance, but I'm not a machine. Neither is Anon, good as he is."
  1924. >"Pff. I know. I bet he couldn't keep his hands off you while you bathed, though, could he?"
  1925. "...Yeah."
  1926. >"Heh. Told you humans are fun."
  1927. >You grunt in agreement, munching on a carrot.
  1928. >It was a bit strange to be touched all over like that, but you could see what Fleetfoot meant when she said that it was better than a massage in the spa back then.
  1929. >You wonder how would an actual human masseuse would feel.
  1930. >Might put a lot of ponies out of business.
  1931. >Fleetfoot leans back in her chair, daydreaming about something while you two finish your food.
  1932. >There's a minute of silence once you're done.
  1933. >You wonder what to do next.
  1934. >Going to bed right after eating would be unpleasant.
  1935. >You don't really have anything else to entertain yourself, or Anon, with.
  1936. >He scratches his chin, looking tired, but not entirely sleepy, much like you.
  1937. >Fleetfoot looks between the two of you, settling her gaze on Anon.
  1938. >"So, Anon, mind if we chat a bit before going to sleep? Nothing more to do, unless you have some of those fun human gadgets that you can show off to us."
  1939. >He shrugs.
  1940. >"Sure, we can talk. I do have my phone, though that's nothing special."
  1941. >"The remote-talking device? It doesn't work in Equestria, does it?"
  1942. >"No, but there's dozens of other things it can do, they cram them with all kinds of stuff these days. I've just been using it as a camera and a music player."
  1943. >"Ooh, maybe you can play us some songs. Tell us about yourself first, though. What brought you to Equestria?"
  1944. >He shrugs, looking a little guilty.
  1945. >"Well, honestly, I'd kind of like to get a job and stay here..."
  1946. "Yeah? What's wrong with that?"
  1947. >"Well, there were lots of problems back home in some countries due to uncontrolled immigration..."
  1948. "Hm? So? Immigration into Equestria is tightly controlled, Anon. Trust me, I've been to the meetings. We know there's - what? - seven billion of you back there? There were discussions about you humans swarming Equestria. If we thought there were too many humans already, you wouldn't have been let in."
  1949. >"I guess? Visiting and staying are different things, though."
  1950. "Already accounted for, Anon. Equestria can take in a lot more humans than we did already."
  1951. >"Huh... Alright."
  1952. >He looks contemplative.
  1953. >Fleetfoot pipes up.
  1954. >"So what do you actually do, Anon?"
  1955. >"Oh, well I'm an electrician. It's a bit of a developing industry in Equestria, from what I heard so far, so I thought there might be opportunities for me here. No such luck, though. Not in Canterlot, anyway."
  1956. >"Yeah? The local snobs don't want to hire you?"
  1957. >He shakes his head.
  1958. >"No, nothing like that. There's just not much demand for it here yet. I should move to Manehattan or Baltimare or some other more industrialized city, I think. I got paid for some consultations and stuff, but it's not steady work."
  1959. "Consultations?"
  1960. >"Yeah, some clever ponies in your government figured out crowdsourcing, it looks like."
  1961. >More human terms you never heard of. You know the words, but not their meaning when they're mashed together like that.
  1962. "What's crowdsourcing?"
  1963. >"Well, I don't remember the dictionary definition, but it's a process where you ask a whole lot of people something, instead of having just a few experts. The idea is that, with large enough numbers, someone might just crack a hard question instantly, where it would take even the masters in the field years to solve it. There was some famous example where some scientists were working on understanding the mollecular structure of a protein for over a decade, and when they made it public and asked for help, people solved it in a few weeks."
  1964. >You nod. While you don't understand all of the words, you certainly get the gist of it.
  1965. "So how are ponies doing it? This isn't something that I heard about."
  1966. >"Well, when you're filling out your papers, they ask you to write down your area of expertise, and whether you'd be willing to talk about it for "monetary compensation". I guess they're using it to find out whether any of the big corporations that are offering your government to build things are trying to scam them, or something to that effect. I've been called to talk about the time, cost, materials, and all that kinds of stuff in regards to installing electrical grids on Earth. I'm a mostly small-scale worker, but they seemed happy to hear what I know regardless."
  1967. >Fleetfoot nods approvingly.
  1968. >"That's nice of you to do, Anon. So, you're going to be leaving Canterlot soon?"
  1969. >"Probably, yeah. I was actually thinking of going after the weekend, that's when I'd have to pay rent again."
  1970. >Oh. Hm.
  1971. >You're not sure why the thought of Anon leaving makes you feel something.
  1972. >This was just a one-night stand, after all.
  1973. >Odds are, you'd never have seen him again even if he stayed in Canterlot.
  1974. >"Do you prefer Canterlot, though?"
  1975. >"Maybe? It's, I don't know, more... Magical? Um, less urbanized? Honestly, I had enough of skyscrapers, but it's only in cities like that where I'd be able to get a job. It's fine, though. I know your cities are not stinky and polluted like ours are. You don't even have cars here."
  1976. "Cars... Those powered personal vehicles, right?"
  1977. >"Yeah..."
  1978. >You spend the rest of the evening making small talk, moving from the chairs to the couch, where Anon immediately latches on to you with his hands.
  1979. >You tell him to get a break, but Fleetfoot just laughs, saying that that is how humans relax.
  1980. >He plays you some music from his phone, and to Fleetfoot's delight, he does have some "metal" in there.
  1981. >You can see why she likes it. It's prety interesting stuff.
  1982. >Eventually, tiredness overtakes you, and you shut out the lights and clamber into the bed.
  1983. >Anon splays out in the middle, immediately getting piled on by Fleetfoot and you.
  1984. >Grinning, you nuzzle him and rub your body against his, covering him with a wing.
  1985. >He said that he loved the feel of your coat against his bare skin, so you make sure to cover as much of his body with yours as he can.
  1986. >Fleetfoot sniggers as he squirms, laying down and snuggling into his side.
  1987. >"Don't bother trying to resist, Anon. You're getting cuddled tonight."
  1988. >"Oh, woe is me. I shall be forever traumatized by this experience."
  1989. >You snigger as you give his neck a lick, nuzzling into him afterwards and closing your eyes.
  1990.  
  1991. *************
  1992.  
  1993. >When you woke up, you were terribly tempted to give Anon a wakeup blowjob.
  1994. >Just tensing your legs made your rear hurt, though, which more than likely meant that Anon was still sore as well, and wouldn't appreciate your advances, even if you were gentle.
  1995. >Reluctantly giving up on the idea [spoiler]of feeling Anon pump his seed down your throat while you gently sucked him off[/spoiler], you got up to get your morning grooming done.
  1996. >Soon enough, the other two woke up as well.
  1997. >Brushing out your coat, you considered Anon.
  1998. >Usually, this would the time you'd give him a kiss on the cheek and fly off, but it didn't feel fair.
  1999. >So instead, you went to get breakfast in the hotel's restaurant. Your treat.
  2000. >Currently, you're all lazily munching on some pancakes.
  2001. >Remembering yesterday's conversation, you get an idea.
  2002. >You know that Anon wouldn't accept it if you offered it to him first, so you enact your plan without his knowledge.
  2003. >Ordering a coffee and saying you'll be right back, you make your way to the reception.
  2004. >Writing a cheque for the hotel, you pay for the room for another week.
  2005. >He probably won't be able to find a job in Canterlot with just another week's of extra time, but it's still a chance.
  2006. >As you predicted, he gives you a flat look when he hears the news.
  2007. >"Really, Spitfire?"
  2008. "It's already paid for, Anon. You want to throw a fit and let it go to waste?"
  2009. >Rolling his eyes, he flicks your ear with a finger.
  2010. >"No, I'm not. I suppose I really shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth."
  2011. >Humans have the weirdest sayings.
  2012. >Soon enough, you're done.
  2013. >You give him that kiss, though it's not on the cheek.
  2014. >Fleetfoot whistles.
  2015. >"Better hope there's no photographers around, Spitfire, there'd definitely be lots of articles about what you're doing right now."
  2016. "They can shove off right to Tartarus. Thanks for the wild night, Anon. I hope you get that job."
  2017. >"And thank you, for the magical time. Not just the sex, but for flying me around. That was just indescribable."
  2018. >You nod, and with a mock salute, you rocket off into the sky, Fleetfoot flying alongside you.
  2019. >Pumping your flight muscles, you still feel the faint soreness in your hips and marehood.
  2020. >So worth it.
  2021. >You make a brief visit to the castle, dealing with some bureaucracy.
  2022. >Though she doesn't have to, Fleetfoot tags along.
  2023. >Once that's done, you take off, aiming towards Cloudsdale.
  2024. >When you're in the air, your wings flapping without you even thinking, your thoughts start drifting.
  2025. >Predictably, they drift to recent experiences.
  2026. >Anon's voice. Anon's hands. Anon's touch.
  2027. >Anon's dick deep inside you as you ride out the best orgasm of your life.
  2028. >His gentle cuddles as he lovingly touches you everywhere, holding you close to him.
  2029. >Without even noticing, a huge smile splits your face.
  2030. >You see Fleetfoot from the corner of your eyes, looking at you with an absurdly smug expression.
  2031. >She flies out a bit in front of you, wiggling her eyebrows.
  2032. >Raising her voice to be heard over the wind, she winks at you.
  2033. >"Soooo, captain..."
  2034. "Yeah?"
  2035. >"What's with the creepy, manic slasher smile?"
  2036. >What?
  2037. >Wait.
  2038. >Crap.
  2039. >Your eyes go wide as you realize what you've been doing.
  2040. >The smile only shrinks a little, though.
  2041. "Damn it."
  2042. >Fleetfoot sniggers at the look on your face.
  2043. "Damn it!"
  2044. >She starts laughing out loud.
  2045. >You try to glare at her. It doesn't work very well.
  2046. "You... You planned this! Or something."
  2047. >"Oh, sure! My nefarious plot worked out perfectly! I got you to have the best time of your life, according to you, so that I could laugh at you being unable to stop smiling. Truly, my evil knows no bounds!
  2048. >You huff.
  2049. "Yup, you're an evil mastermind. What's the next part of your plot? Get more men and mares together while rubbing your hooves together and cackling like a witch?"
  2050. >"Buck yeah! Why do you think I've been telling all of you about them? There's still loads of men to go around, and there's certainly mares on the team that could use some one-on-one sessions with them!"
  2051. "Hah. Never took you for a matchmaker."
  2052. >"Oh no, tracking down soulmates and stuff? That's too much effort. I'm just here to open mare's minds and preach about the wonders that are humans! Men, anyway."
  2053. "Alright, now you sound like a cult leader."
  2054. >To your surprise, her eyes sparkle in excitement.
  2055. >"Hay yeah, now that's an idea! Hear me, Equestria! I am Fleetfoot, and I offer you knowledge both secret and forbidden, yet wondrous and powerful! Mare pussies were made for human dicks! Grab yourself a man and ride yourself silly! It's all true, just ask my first convert, Spitfire, here! She got a taste last night, and she can't stop smiling!"
  2056. >You laugh, shaking your head.
  2057. >Good thing you're flying high in the sky, with no other pegasi around.
  2058. >If someone heard that, then there'd be interesting newspaper articles for sure.
  2059. "So why are you going to Cloudsdale with me? I thought you'd go find yourself a human, since you weren't able to get one yesterday."
  2060. >"Oh, well, I thought I'd pick up a few things before going back."
  2061. "Yeah? What for?"
  2062. >She shrugs.
  2063. >"Oh, you know. Maybe get something nice to wear. They get a kick when we wear stuff."
  2064. >Your mind flashes back to the conversation you had while flying to Canterlot yesterday.
  2065. "Something nice to wear, huh..."
  2066. >"Yeah?"
  2067. "Something like... Socks, for your human coltfriend?"
  2068. >"H-hey! I said I didn't do that! And I don't have a coltfriend!"
  2069. "Hmmmm..."
  2070. >Her expression turns from a frown to smug again.
  2071. >"Think you're so smart? Look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn't wear socks for Anon, if he asked you to!"
  2072. >You open your mouth to retort, but no words come out.
  2073. "Uh..."
  2074. >"Hah! Say, do you think that getting laid once is going to be enough after such a long dry spell? Why don't you find Anon again tomorrow and let him have a go at you while you wear some nice socks for him? I can lend you a pair!"
  2075. "Wait! So you DO have socks!"
  2076. >"Wait, no! I mean-"
  2077. "DYYYYYKE!"
  2078. >You cackle as she rolls her eyes.
  2079. >"It's not dyke if it gets me the biggest, hardest dicking ever, dry-cunt! This dyke got you laid!"
  2080. >She's got a point there.
  2081. >You shake your head.
  2082. "Right, sorry. Fair enough. So, are you going to go find the same guy that you had fun with last week?"
  2083. >For the first time in a while, she looks uncertain about something that's to do with humans.
  2084. >"I... I don't know."
  2085. >Her voice sounds heavy.
  2086. "Whoa, what's wrong?"
  2087. >"I don't know, okay! I was having SO much fun! Learning about humans, getting some cool alien technology, and then, finally, getting the best rut of my life! And then, I just... I can't stop thinking about him! His touch, his... It was supposed to be a one-night stand! Men aren't clingy like stallions, they understand that! We both parted with a kiss and a smile. But I couldn't stop thinking about him since then!"
  2088. >Your smile is gone now, a frown completely replacing it.
  2089. >She's describing a lot of what you're feeling, too.
  2090. "I think... I think you caught feelings for the guy, Fleetfoot."
  2091. >"...I guess I might have."
  2092. "So, what... What are you going to do about it?"
  2093. >She scrunches her muzzle, thinking.
  2094. >A few minutes later, she speaks quietly, barely loud enough to be heard through the air rushing by.
  2095. >"Humans are used to their mates not being home that often, you know."
  2096. "What?"
  2097. >"Men. They don't herd, and they don't have women with them all the time. Even if I was on tour, or working late..."
  2098. "You... Huh. You're really serious. You want to herd up with a human?"
  2099. >"Not herd. No other mares, not at first, at least. He'd need to get used to just being with a mare at all, which is fine by me. And I'd need to get used to herding with an alien. I'm sure there'd be problems. Living together is more complicated than having a one-night stand. And if it actually works out... Well, I'm sure we can add more mares."
  2100. "..."
  2101. >You don't know what to say.
  2102. >You think about Anon.
  2103. >His smile, his eagerness to please.
  2104. >His hand, reaching for your ears when you trot through the door.
  2105. "Oh buck me."
  2106. >"Oh? So, you caught feelings for your man, too?"
  2107. >You groan.
  2108. "Damn it! What am I supposed to do now?! We already rut each other silly! What, do I ask him on a date, and hope to get a kiss by the end of it? Gently guide him to bed and take his virginity by the fourth? Hah!"
  2109. >She snorts.
  2110. >"Well, I think you thoroughly took care of that part, chief."
  2111. "Huh? You think Anon was a virgin? No way. He was amazing in bed, he couldn't have been."
  2112. >"Well, I can't say that for certain, but I would still bet money with good odds that Anon was totally a virgin before you took that in a rather epic fashion."
  2113. "...Oh *buck* me."
  2114. >Sure, you understood that there was a small chance that the stallions you slept with in the past might have been virgins too.
  2115. >They had to start somewhere.
  2116. >But this time, it feels more important, somehow, even though Anon is not even a pony.
  2117. >"So... What are YOU going to do?"
  2118. >Your thoughts run around in your head like a bunch of headless pegasi.
  2119. "I'm... I'm..."
  2120. >You try to force some order into the mess.
  2121. I'm going to... Wear something nice. For Anon."
  2122. >Crap, did you even have anything at all besides some spare Wonderbolts outfits and dress uniforms?
  2123. >The only thing you can even remember is the old bomber jacket.
  2124. >Damn it. It'll have to do.
  2125. "And I'm going to... Ask him out. On a date. And I'm going to lay everything out."
  2126. >Getting rejected would honestly be the simplest thing that could happen here.
  2127. "And, just in case he's interested... I'm going to borrow some of those socks from you."
  2128. >"Ha! DYKE!!!"
  2129. >Howling with laughter, Fleetfoot rockets away.
  2130. >She's faster than you, but that doesn't matter.
  2131. >You know where she lives.
  2132. "Get back here, featherbrain! This is all your fault!"
  2133. >Grinning, you chase your sis through the skies, humans on your mind.
  2134.  
  2135. >The two of you jet towards Cloudsdale at top speed, Fleetfoot gaining distance slowly but steadily.
  2136. >You manage to keep her in your sight almost the entire way, though, the fact that you're flying in her wake making it easier to keep up.
  2137. >Once you reach the city proper, she manages to break line of sight a few times, weaving between the buildings.
  2138. >Still, as you thought, she's going home, judging by the direction.
  2139. >Unless she's misdirecting you and trying to get away for some reason.
  2140. >Which is pretty unlikely.
  2141. >Panting lightly, you land in front of her front door, spreading your wings to vent some excess heat.
  2142. >There's no sign that she's in there. Not like pegasi leave tracks, like ponies on the ground do.
  2143. >Still, not like you're going to be coltish and timidly ask if she's in there.
  2144. >You give the door a few sharp raps.
  2145. "Open up, you alien-loving dyke! I know you're in there!"
  2146. >"The same thing applies to you too, you know!"
  2147. >You snort as you hear her yell from somewhere inside the house.
  2148. >Letting yourself in, you glance around.
  2149. "Not yet it doesn't. I haven't worn any socks yet."
  2150. >"Right, of course, my bad."
  2151. >You follow the voice, making your way into the living room.
  2152. >She laughs as she comes out from a door nearby, leaning back in a strange, bipedal fashion, using her wings for balance.
  2153. >Your eyes are immediately drawn downwards, to the dark, navy-blue socks she's wearing on her hindlegs.
  2154. >And a moment later, they're drawn towards where they end, namely, right around her toned flanks, hugging her hindlegs perfectly and framing her teats and marehood.
  2155. >Huh.
  2156. >You tilt your head a little, examining her.
  2157. >"Like what you see, Spitfire? What's the matter, you don't want stallions - or men any more? Am I just that hot?"
  2158. >She purrs, gently fluffing out her chest fluff with a hoof and giving you a seductive look.
  2159. >You roll your eyes.
  2160. "Did you really expect to fluster me? Mare, we spend days - WEEKS - crammed into tight barracks together, flying in tight suits and getting soaked in sweat, and then washing off in communal showers. And then some of us give backrubs to each other. If any one of us had any dyke-ish inclinations, I'm pretty sure they would have come out by now, especially if all it took was seeing a mare strike a pose."
  2161. >"Heh. Confident in your sexuality, are you?"
  2162. "Damn straight I am."
  2163. >"So then, you wouldn't actually have anything against wearing socks?"
  2164. >You open your mouth, only to close it immediately after.
  2165. >Clever girl.
  2166. >She sniggers, getting back to all fours and trotting into her room.
  2167. >You follow after her.
  2168. "So why are you wearing them now, anyway? Are you actually going to fly to Canterlot like that?"
  2169. >Whichever paparazzi would snap THAT photo would certainly get rich enough to retire.
  2170. >"Ha, no way. I just wanted to see your reaction. So, what do you think?"
  2171. "It's really weird, but I think I get the appeal. Despite the fact you're not a stallion, my eyes were immediately drawn to your crotch anyway. Even if it does nothing for me, I'm guessing it works the same way for men?"
  2172. >"Heck yeah it does. And it does things for them, too. Oh mare, does it do things for them. I think just the fact that we're wearing something helps, too. With them spending so much time in clothes... Huh."
  2173. "What's up?"
  2174. >"Nothing, just a silly thought. If they get dressed as soon as they get up and only get undressed to bathe and sleep, then I'm pretty sure humans spend more time in their life wearing clothes than not."
  2175. "...Huh. You're probably right."
  2176. >You ponder on the strangeness of humans as she carefully takes off the socks and folds them.
  2177. >On one hoof, they're still rather alien, but on the other hoof, when picked out individually, those differences between ponies and humans seem extremely minor.
  2178. >It's just that when you put all of those thousands of little differences together, at the same time, the whole picture appears rather alien.
  2179. >But they can be broken down and worked through. One difference at a time.
  2180. >Which is precisely what dating is for.
  2181. >Hm.
  2182. >As you're thinking, your eyes fall on a Wonderbolts poster hanging on the wall.
  2183. >Fleetfoot herself is there, mid-flight.
  2184. >Noticing where you're looking, she snorts.
  2185. >"Don't look at it like that. I'm not a narcissist. That's not so I have my own face hanging on the wall, it's a trophy."
  2186. >You shrug.
  2187. "I was just thinking, anyway. Trophy?"
  2188. >"Sure. The first poster of me that they printed. The VERY first. I asked them to grab the first one, fresh from the printer. Making it big, you know? Kept it as a memento."
  2189. "Nice."
  2190. >"Thanks. Now, I'd offer you to look through my sock collection, but I think there's something else we need to do first. Come on. We need to have a proper mare-to-mare talk."
  2191. "Alright..."
  2192. >You wonder what this could be about as the now-naked again Fleetfoot leads you back to the living room, gesturing to the couch.
  2193. >"Be right back."
  2194. >She quickly zips to what you're guessing is the kitchen, rummaging around and coming back with a couple bottles of cider.
  2195. >You raise an eyebrow as she tosses one to you, deftly catching it with your wing.
  2196. "Bit early, isn't it?"
  2197. >You remark, as you pop the cork and take a swig.
  2198. >She flops down on a large cloudbag chair, popping her own cider open.
  2199. >"Yeah, but this is just cider, and it's a pretty weak one, too. It'd take a dozen bottles just to get us buzzed."
  2200. >You nod, swallowing.
  2201. "So, what is this about? Are we continuing the talk we had back in my office in the Academy?"
  2202. >She shakes her head.
  2203. >"No, this is slightly different. I need you to check my thinking."
  2204. >You lean back on the couch, taking another swig as you contemplate her words.
  2205. "Check your... Thinking?"
  2206. >That sounded strange, to say the least, seeing as she was the one that completely derailed your frame of mind, exposing the cracks that had formed underneath. And she didn't show the slightest hint of doubt the entire time, except for the moment when she was talking about having feelings for her human coltfriend.
  2207. >Well, he wasn't her coltfriend yet, like Anon wasn't yours, either. Both of you needed to actually make it happen, first.
  2208. >She nods slowly, looking you in the eyes.
  2209. >"Yeah. Tell me, Captain. Am I going nuts?"
  2210. >You blink slowly, leaning forward.
  2211. "Fleetfoot, that's what *I* asked *you* back on Friday. You were the one to convince me that no, you weren't. What in Tartarus am I supposed to make of this now?"
  2212. >"Yeah, but back then, you didn't know the, ah... Context of the whole situation, let's say. Now, you're... Well, you're still less familiar than me, but you still got some real good, heh heh, "knowledge", if you know what I mean."
  2213. >She waggles her eyebrows at you as you snort.
  2214. >"Anyway, if I really unloaded on you when you were interrogating me about the whole "can't stop smiling" thing - told you everything, how I can't stop thinking about humans, getting touched by them, having fun with them, even coming home and finding one waiting for me - what would you have said?"
  2215. >You lean back again, pondering the question, giving it some hard thought.
  2216. >Eventually, you slowly speak.
  2217. "I would have... Well, I can't say for sure, but I would have either said that you have a crush like some schoolfilly that smelled a colt for the first time in her life, or that the humans actually cast some weird mind-control on you. Which should not be possible, since they don't have magic. I might have laughed at you and called you a sap. Or cock-whipped, since that's kind of what you sounded like just now."
  2218. >She narrows her eyes at you a little, but you remain unphased.
  2219. >She did ask for a mare talk, so she's getting one.
  2220. >A few moments later she snorts, relaxing her angry expression.
  2221. >"Yeah, you're right. That's why I'm asking you. I'm not one to think too hard on things. I'm a mare of action, like I said before. Must've done more thinking these past few months than the rest of my life, what with cramming alien knowledge into my head non-stop, heh. And, well, thinking about it, this does seem a little fast, even to me. You're really going to go through with this? Date Anon, try to herd with him, the whole shebang?"
  2222. >You purse your lips, thinking about it.
  2223. >Taking another pull from the bottle, you swish the cider around in your mouth before swallowing it.
  2224. "You were the first one to suggest dating... Your guy. You clearly gave it a lot more thought than I did. What's his name, anyway?"
  2225. >"Cog. Short for Incognito. And yeah, I did. But it's not too late to call it off. We haven't even started anything. Neither one of our guys even have the faintest clue about the things we're discussing right now."
  2226. "Well, yeah... I thought about it while we were flying. Even if we go for it, there's nothing to say that we won't be the ones getting rejected. I'm a big mare, though, I can take it. Even though it's a bit weird to be on the other side of the fence. We must sound like some of those infatuated fancolts."
  2227. >"You really think they'd say no to us? Us, a pair of top-tier Wonderbolts?"
  2228. "You tell me, Fleetfoot. You're the one that's familiar with their values. Does the fact that we're Wonderbolts even mean anything to them?"
  2229. >She stops, staring off into the distance for a minute.
  2230. >"Huh. You know what, it probably doesn't. Good catch. But hey, that's what this talk is about. Assessing the situation before we dive into the wild storm headfirst."
  2231. "Right, so. About your first question..."
  2232. >You think back to your night with Anon, trying to quantify what made you so attached to him.
  2233. >Was it just the wild rutting?
  2234. >Surely not. He was great, but you're no stammering schoolfilly any more. Having a minbdlowing orgasm, no matter how good, shouldn't leave you love-struck like that.
  2235. >Grunting, you turn to Fleetfoot.
  2236. "Alright, you tell me, since you're the one with the "months of alien knowledge". Why do *you* think we fell so hard for them?"
  2237. >She shrugs, smiling slightly.
  2238. >"Well, if I had to put it into words, I'd say that it's because the men don't really have sex, as such."
  2239. >You blink.
  2240. "What? Then what the flying feather were we doing yesterday?"
  2241. >"Lovemaking."
  2242. >You blink again, looking at her with narrowed eyes.
  2243. "That's just a synonym for sex."
  2244. >"Well, yeah. But a synonym is not the exact same thing, right? Just very similar."
  2245. "I... Guess?"
  2246. >"Why are you sounding so unsure? You've been with stallions before, even if you cut it off years ago. Did any of them behave like Anon did? Did his best to look out for your pleasure the ENTIRE time, then just kept rubbing and cuddling you for hours non-stop afterwards, like you were some married couple that couldn't tear themselves off each other? Even the biggest fancolts never did anything like that for me. Sure, they'd feel up my muscles and stuff, but that was for their own fun."
  2247. "Lovemaking, huh."
  2248. >You take another sip of cider.
  2249. >"Yeah. Call me a sap, cock-whipped, schoolfilly, I don't care. But, go on - I dare you to call me wrong."
  2250. >You let out a long exhale.
  2251. >She's probably not wrong.
  2252. "What does it mean, then? You said before that men aren't like stallions, they don't get emotional after a fling. So what's the deal, was that wrong? Do they actually have it as bad for us as we have for them now?"
  2253. >"No, I don't think that was wrong. I just... Well, I'm no Cadance or whatever, so obviously I can't speak much about it. My guess is, though, the guys are just so love-starved and pent up, what with their women never showing them the slightest drop of love in their lives, they just go full-in on whichever mare shows them even the slightest bit of affection."
  2254. "That... Sounds like a potential disaster of them getting taken advantage of by crusty cunts in massive numbers."
  2255. >Fleetfoot shrugs indifferently.
  2256. >"I actually doubt that. If their women are all skanks, then they probably learned how to tell the good ones from the bad ones pretty damn well by now, right? If they even have any good ones."
  2257. "Hmmmm... I guess so."
  2258. >"So, what do you think? We're not being mind-controlled by sexy alien hunks to herd up with them?"
  2259. "...The way you phrase it, it doesn't even sound that bad if we are."
  2260. >She laughs.
  2261. >"Alright then, let's keep going. What obstacles would we come up against if we decided to settle down with a man?"
  2262. >You remember your flight with Anon.
  2263. "...They're flightless. It'd be like shacking up with an earth pony or unicorn."
  2264. >"Oooooh. Mare, how did I not think of that? Been thinking about complex stuff, and forgot the basics. Yeah, we'd need to move out of Cloudsdale, wouldn't we? Or, buy new homes somewhere on the ground, anyway. Hmmm..."
  2265. >You nod, thinking it over.
  2266. >Bringing Anon into the cloud city was not out of the question, but that would be for a visit, at most.
  2267. >Living an actual life in cloud cities for a non-pegasus was not impossible, but it was certainly very hard.
  2268. >The few that were able to do that always were unicorns, able to substitute flight with telekinesis and arcane wings.
  2269. >Others, well, they really didn't have much to even *do* in cloud cities.
  2270. >And you're pretty sure Anon wouldn't want to stay cooped up inside your house the entire time, even if cloud homes were more spacious than their counterparts on the ground.
  2271. >No pony, stallion or mare, would do well in such a situation.
  2272. >Then there was the fact that he wanted to find work.
  2273. >You could certainly support him by yourself, let alone if you found a herd that you could trust.
  2274. >But you weren't sure if he would agree to remain completely unemployed.
  2275. >Even most stallions still insisted on working part-time jobs, at least, unless the herd got into foal-making mode and popped out half a dozen little terrors for him to take care of.
  2276. >And men, what with being so marely and all, likely wouldn't back down out of sheer pride.
  2277. >In all likelihood, even if they did manage to find proper wives back on Earth, both parents still had to work full-time, so the very idea would be alien to them. You can't imagine being able to support a stallion without a herd to help out, unless you had a real high-paying job like yours, and you're far from the average mare.
  2278. "Yeah. There'd be cultural differences, too. I don't think Anon would agree to live off my money, for example, not unless I spent a long time convincing him first. He seemed really dead-set on finding a job. What's the "complex stuff" you thought about?"
  2279. >"Hm, yeah, that's the kind of things I considered. Also finances, food and such. You know that humans eat lots of meat, right? Also eggs, cheese, that kind of food, and there's not much supply for it. They really can't eat hay and flowers and a lot of other things, so supporting one might not be as cheap as you think. However, since they're also more conservative with their money, not buying frilly saddles or perfume and such nonsense..."
  2280. "It should balance itself out," You finish for her.
  2281. >"Yeah, and I figure that if they bring lots of demand, there should be ponies that would quickly catch wind of it and start increasing supply, right? Economics, and all that."
  2282. "Mmmm."
  2283. >You finish the cider, draining the last of it from the bottle.
  2284. >She gives you a long look.
  2285. >"This is actually a big decision, you know. We really leaving Cloudsdale? This isn't like going on tour or something like that. We'd be building our nests on the ground, for real. I don't know how my mother would take it."
  2286. >You nod slowly, thinking it over.
  2287. >You were a proud Cloudsdale pegasus, born and bred.
  2288. >Plenty of pegasi lived on the ground, and you had nothing against them.
  2289. >There was no shortage of Wonderbolts that came from ground-dwelling pegasi, either.
  2290. >Still, cloud cities did tend to produce some of the best examples of pegasi champions.
  2291. >You. Fleetfoot. Soarin. All in the Wonderbolts.
  2292. >Rainbow Dash, even. That rookie still needed a lot of work until she became an actual team flier, but she had some pretty wild solo-flying skills.
  2293. >Were you really going to throw it all away and go live on the ground?
  2294. >Well... It didn't seem to impact Rainbow's skills much, though again, she WAS born in Cloudsdale...
  2295. "Yeah... You're right. It is a tough choice."
  2296.  
  2297. >The two of you descend into silence, thinking about the weight of the consequences your choices might have.
  2298. >You, currently Fleetfoot, can't help but think about about your last encounter.
  2299. >You try pull the pictures of your family, of Cloudsdale and the familiar neighborhoods to the forefront of your mind, but your thoughts keep returning to the sensation of soft fingernails digging into your coat and an exotic male body wrapped around yours as you lay in bed.
  2300. >It seems pretty obvious which one of those choices is winning in your head.
  2301. >Which is what made you concerned that you were being influenced, somehow.
  2302. >Though, even deeper down, you know that that's not the case.
  2303. >Every mare wants a stallion to call their own, and throughout Equestria's history, mares did far, far more drastic things than move out of their hometowns or get together with stallions of other tribes when they weren't able to find one from their own.
  2304. >There were stories of family feuds and small wars over them, back in the old days.
  2305. >Yes, this is a big choice.
  2306. >In the grand scheme of things, though, it's insignificant.
  2307. >You still don't want to get your flank kicked by your Mom, though.
  2308. >Being together with Cog, though...
  2309. >Not just having a good lay, but coming home and having him all to yourself...
  2310. >Oh, mare.
  2311. >The thought makes your guts knot up like during a high-speed aerial turn.
  2312. >You're scared, but you want it so very much.
  2313. >Unbidden, your brain starts re-running the memory of the entire encounter....
  2314.  
  2315. **************************
  2316.  
  2317. >"So, this is really happening."
  2318. >His voice shakes a little, heavy with emotion.
  2319. >Trepidation, disbelief, tinged with a bit of hope.
  2320. "Hay yeah it is. Don't sound so scared. I know I'm a big scary military type, but I'm not going to hurt you, I promise."
  2321. >He gives you a look.
  2322. >"Girl, I'm twice your size. Maybe a little less than that, but still."
  2323. >You snort, rolling your eyes.
  2324. "And? Have you seen a stallion? Lots of them are way bigger than mares. Size is hardly everything."
  2325. >"...Huh. True. That still doesn't mean you can easily "hurt" someone much bigger than you, though. That includes stallions. I've seen the muscles some of them have."
  2326. >Your mind briefly flashes to Soarin's perfectly sculpted flanks.
  2327. >Mmmf, nice.
  2328. >Not an option, though, and you have a perfectly fine flank right here.
  2329. >Not as toned, maybe, but plenty fine, with lots of other fun bits attached.
  2330. >Like fingers.
  2331. "Why do you sound so nervous, then?"
  2332. >"Oh, well, uh..."
  2333. "Come on, I'm not going to bite, I promise. I spent a lot of time learning about humans, you know. You're not going to weird me out no matter what you say."
  2334. >"It's not weird. I think. You're just... Very pretty."
  2335. >He quietly mumbles the last part.
  2336. "Aww, you sweet-talker."
  2337. >You take off into the air, landing on his back and hugging him with your wings.
  2338. >He stumbles a for a moment, starting to walk again as you nuzzle into his ear from behind.
  2339. "Why would me being pretty make you nervous, hot stuff?"
  2340. >He snorts, booping you on the nose with a finger.
  2341. >"'Cause I'm not hot, you are. I'm just some guy that's a dime a dozen."
  2342. >You sigh.
  2343. >Not the first time you heard something like that from a man.
  2344. >It twists you up inside a little every time.
  2345. >Makes you want to punch whichever dry-cunt dyke loser did this to him.
  2346. >It's hard to even imagine how badly they get treated for them to take weeks of convincing that you want to have a roll in the hay with them.
  2347. >Can't even imagine what it'd be like to tell them you'd like to get into a relationship.
  2348. >You nibble on his ear, making him gasp and stumble again.
  2349. >You snigger quietly as he glances at you from the corner of his eyes and swallows loudly.
  2350. "Keep moving, pal, and I'll show you just how hot I think you are. The hotel's right around the corner."
  2351. >You whisper hotly into his ear, ending with a long and sensual lick.
  2352. >You feel a shiver run through his entire body.
  2353. >A few mares on the street snigger or give you knowing looks as you pass by, riding on a tall, exotic alien's back while giving his ears the business.
  2354. >Some look at you in disbelief or jealousy, though.
  2355. >More than likely, they tried to get a human themselves, only to crash and burn.
  2356. >You unconsciously puff up your chest tuft in pride, even if most of it is pressed against Cog's back.
  2357. >Try harder next time, fillies.
  2358. >That's right, you're a successful mare that just bagged a hot piece of flank.
  2359. >The rest of the trip goes by in silence, your mouth too busy breathing hotly and nuzzling against his ear, sending more shivers through his body.
  2360. >When the two of you enter the hotel, you direct him to the stairs.
  2361. >You've been staying here for a few days, so the room is already paid for.
  2362. >You pull the key from a small saddlebag, passing it to him.
  2363. >He quickly unlocks the door with those dexterous fingers of his, closing and locking it behind him.
  2364. >You flap your wings, twisting and circling around him.
  2365. >Faster than he can blink, you switch your position, ending up with your chest pressed against his, your forelegs and hindlegs holding on to his torso.
  2366. >You exhale slowly, rubbing your muzzle against his nose and face with your eyes lidded, giving his cheek a little lick.
  2367. >His hands reflexively wrap around you, grabbing you firmly by your lower back and pressing you against him.
  2368. >You'd like for him to grab you someplace even lower, but there's plenty of time for that yet.
  2369. >You flap your wings, forcing him to walk backwards.
  2370. >He tries to glance behind him, but you gently steer his head back towards you with your wings, looking him in the eyes.
  2371. >"Uh..."
  2372. "Shush, big guy... Shh. Just trust me. We got this far, didn't we?"
  2373. >"Well... Yeah?"
  2374. "Then right now... Relax."
  2375. >He tenses up as the back of his legs hit the bed, making him fall.
  2376. >You flare your wings, though, controlling his descent so neatly and precisely that he lands on the bed lighter than a feather.
  2377. >He blinks uncertainly, his brain failing to adapt to the smooth change of perspective for a moment.
  2378. >"Wait, did we land already, or..."
  2379. >You snort, folding your wings and letting your weight press him into the bed.
  2380. "Yeah, we did. See? I can be very gentle. Though honestly, I'm hoping you can give me a proper workout..."
  2381. >He chuckles, snaking his hands towards your ears and viciously assaulting them with those soft appendages.
  2382. >You whine and squirm a bit at the ticklish sensations.
  2383. >"Well, I can't make any promises, but I'll do my best, that's for sure. Here's to hoping all those months of studying ponies pay off."
  2384. >Your eyes light up at that.
  2385. "Hey, I've been studying humans for months. We should compare notes."
  2386. >"Yeah, alright. What have you learned?"
  2387. "Well, not too much about the physical side of things, which is what I'm hoping to learn more about tonight. Lots more. I did learn one secret about you guys, but... I'll keep it a surprise, I think. What have you learned?"
  2388. >He squints a bit at you when the hears about the surprise, but nods a few moments later.
  2389. >As he begins to talk, you gently lift the edge of his shirt, sticking your muzzle inside and taking a slow, deeeeep breath.
  2390. >While humans don't have coats that trap scents like ponies do, they do love their clothes. And when you do what you just did, you get hit with a wave of fresh, exotic male scent.
  2391. >Your tail twitches and you close your eyes in pleasure, though you keep your ears sharp and alert as you listen to him.
  2392. >"Well, we largely have the same senses, but as you're demonstrating right now, our priorities are stacked quite differently. And since both sides assume that they're essentially the same at first, it leads to some awkward first meetings when those expectations don't pan out. Ponies really love smelling stuff first, while our first instinct is to poke it."
  2393. "Mmmhhmmm. You love using those long grabbers of yours. Maybe 'cause you guys are predators, or something."
  2394. >"I don't think so, honestly. Tell me, how far away can you smell things from?"
  2395. >You shrug.
  2396. "Depends entirely on the strength of the smell. I can smell flowers by the street as I pass by, for example. It's pretty hard to get a whiff of you guys even when I'm standing close by, though, unless you use perfume. Those can get pretty strong. Or you don't wash, but I think I only saw one or two men like that."
  2397. >"Men use deodorants, not perfume... Anyway, that's a perfect example. Most people can't smell a flower unless it's really strong or they stick their nose into it. Want to see what our sense of touch is capable of, though?"
  2398. >You curiously raise an eyebrow, pulling your muzzle out after savoring one last whiff.
  2399. "Go for it."
  2400. >He moves his hands towards your forelegs, gently unhooking them from his waist.
  2401. >Pulling them towards his chest, he envelops your hooves with his hands, rubbing them with his fingers.
  2402. >The sight of the wriggling appendages is still a bit weird to look at, but the sensations are pleasant.
  2403. >He spends a good few minutes at it, tracing over the entire surface of your hooves.
  2404. >You're tempted to ask what he's supposed to be doing, but manage to restrain yourself from interrupting.
  2405. >Eventually, he smiles, pulling one hand off your hoof and booping you on the nose.
  2406. >"Can you feel that?"
  2407. "Huh?"
  2408. >You scrunch your muzzle a bit as you feel something tiny rubbing against your nose.
  2409. >It's practically microscopic, but you can still feel it as he presses it against you with his finger, rubbing his finger in a small circle.
  2410. "What the hay?"
  2411. >He pulls his finger off, showing it to you with a smile.
  2412. >You squint at it, bringing your eye so close it's almost touching it.
  2413. >There's a curious pattern on the limb, something you learned is called a "fingerprint".
  2414. >It takes you a few moments to notice the object, though.
  2415. >A single grain of sand.
  2416. "Wait, what? How... What? Am I looking at what I'm supposed to, here?"
  2417. >"Depends. Can you see the sand?"
  2418. "Yeah? There's literally just one grain."
  2419. >"Yup. And I picked it out of your hoof."
  2420. >Your mouth opens a little in surprise.
  2421. "I'm.... Not sure even a unicorn could pick up something that small. Is that for real?"
  2422. >He shrugs.
  2423. >"Watch me."
  2424. >He goes back to scanning your hooves again, using some spare fingers to massage your frogs.
  2425. >You shiver a little at his touch on a part of your body that usually goes untouched.
  2426. >Bit later, he comes back with another grain of sand, rubbing it against your nose.
  2427. >Squinting, you examine the two grains, each one on a different finger.
  2428. "You can seriously sense something that small as it brushes against your fingers? I mean, I can sort of feel when I step on pebbles with my hooves, but..."
  2429. >"Yup. And now, you know why humans love touching things so much. Ponies especially. I can feel every single hair in your coat as I brush my hands against your sides. And your coat is so, so very soft..."
  2430. >He does exactly as he says, running his hands against you with a pleasured sigh.
  2431. >Wow.
  2432. >That does explain a lot of things.
  2433. >You shiver a little as he digs into a few tangled spots with his nails, scratching and smoothing them out.
  2434. >You pull one of his hands towards your face, examining it curiously.
  2435. >It's not even remotely the first time you did this, but no one really demonstrated just the kind of stuff they could do with those appendages.
  2436. >Watching his face, you let out a breath against his fingers.
  2437. >He looks amused.
  2438. >Running your muzzle along his palm garners a bigger reaction, his fingers wiggling as you examine them with your lips one by one.
  2439. >Lastly, you slowly stick your tongue out, giving his hand a cautious lick.
  2440. >He chuckles, shaking his head.
  2441. >"They're sensitive, yes, but they're not erogenous zones, Fleetfoot. We do pretty much everything with our hands, after all. You're not going to hurt or overwhelm my senses or whatever."
  2442. "Alright then."
  2443. >You keep licking his fingers, wrapping your tongue around a few of them. It's oddly exciting.
  2444. >"Thank you, by the way. I've been dreaming of doing this for quite a while."
  2445. "Hmm... Putting your hands all over a mare? I hope you're up for more than just enjoying my soft coat."
  2446. >"Well... Yeah. I've been dreaming of doing that, too. A lot. A mare letting me touch her everywhere is almost as good, though."
  2447. "Colt, lots of mares would happily marepile you if you said that out loud. Seriously, go to a public place with lots of ponies, and start casually musing out loud: "Wow, I sure feel lonely. If only a bunch of mares came and cuddled me so I could run my hands through their coats." See what happens."
  2448. >He snorts.
  2449. >"That wouldn't actually happen, would it?"
  2450. "Yeah, I guess not. You'd get strange looks, though I'd still bet money you'd get some mares showing interest."
  2451. >"Right, so..."
  2452. >You smile as you nuzzle his face again, finishing with a kiss on his lips.
  2453. >He reciprocates by running his hands along your spine, making sure to scratch between your wings, making you sigh in pleasure.
  2454. "Think you're ready for the fun?"
  2455. >"Yeah, I- Nah, nevermind. Yes, I am?"
  2456. "Hmm? Don't think I didn't catch that. What were you going to say?"
  2457. >He chews on his lip uncertainly, clearly hesitant.
  2458. "Aww, come on..."
  2459. >You dive in for another kiss, going for full tongue this time. His eyes go wide at the sudden invasion as you caress the inside of his mouth.
  2460. >Pulling off, you look at him with lidded eyes.
  2461. "Come on, big guy. This is supposed to be fun for both of us. Was there something you wanted? Or maybe... There's a kink that you have? Ohoho, I haven't heard much about those yet. Is there some way you want to do it? I'm not as flexible as you humans are, but I'm up for whatever position you want."
  2462. >He shakes his head, smiling awkwardly.
  2463. >"No, no... Just can't stop thinking about a song that reminds me of this situation. Feel like playing it. It's stupid, forget about it."
  2464. >You roll your eyes, flapping your wings and landing on the floor.
  2465. >You heard that some ponies like to have fun with music playing in the background. You never thought to do it yourself, but it didn't sound like a bad idea, either.
  2466. "Don't be silly. If you can't stop thinking about it, then it's not stupid. I'm guessing you have some gadget with music, right? Why don't you turn that on while I prepare your surprise. Be right back. Lose those clothes too, by the way."
  2467. >You wink at him as you trot to the bathroom, making sure to hike your tail high, concealing nothing.
  2468. >You hear him swallow nervously while he digs through his pockets.
  2469. >Taking off your saddlebags, you take out your secret weapon.
  2470. >You still feel nervous even touching the damn things.
  2471. >It's a bit hard to believe you even bought them.
  2472. >As you put them on, though, the skin-tight socks feel oddly comfortable.
  2473. >You're used to wearing full-body Wonderbolt uniforms, but the fabric feels much nicer.
  2474. >Taking a few deep breaths to steel your nerves, you quietly flutter into the air.
  2475. "Hope you're good and naked, pal. It's really not fair how reluctant you are to undress in front of mares. We're naked all the time, you know?"
  2476. >You hear him laugh nervously.
  2477. >"Um, almost. And we can't help it. Cultural differences, you know?"
  2478. >Flying out of the bathroom, you land on your hindlegs and strike a pose.
  2479. "So if I were to put on some clothes, would it make you more comfortable?"
  2480. >Which you did, technically. Socks aren't really clothes, but eh. Close enough.
  2481. >His eyes go wide and he completely freezes in place.
  2482. >All except a special something that gives a massive throb, slipping out of his underwear.
  2483. >"Holy..."
  2484. >You breath a quiet sigh of relief.
  2485. >You still had serious doubts, but it looks like that mare really was right. Men love mares in socks.
  2486. >Slowly and sensually moving closer, you give him a sultry look.
  2487. "Still not naked... Guess you don't want me after all?"
  2488. >He swiftly gets rid of the offending garment, quickly tapping something on a gadget and tossing it further on the bed. Surprisingly clear and crisp-sounding music begins playing from it.
  2489. >Though you're acting in charge and all that, you know that it's better not to push too hard.
  2490. "So, how do you want to...?"
  2491. >He smiles awkwardly, beginning to quietly sing along to the song's lyrics as they start up.
  2492.  
  2493. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NF9Pc2FvgQU
  2494.  
  2495. >"Let me take you on a trip"
  2496. >Well, you certainly hope it's going to be a wild trip.
  2497. >"Around the world and back"
  2498. >Yeah, colt, rock my world.
  2499. >You hop into the air, landing on him and pushing him onto the bed again, rubbing your body against his.
  2500. >"And you won't have to move, you just sit still"
  2501. >Oh, you like where this is going.
  2502. >He trails his hands all over your body, going for all the spots that one should usually avoid in public.
  2503. >"Now let your mind do the walking"
  2504. >Oh, your mind's walking to all sorts of places, alright.
  2505. >"And let my body do the talking"
  2506. >You REALLY like where this is going.
  2507. >That's a surprisingly dirty song.
  2508. >"Let me show you the world in my eyes"
  2509. >You shiver as he keeps working on you with his hands, making you melt into a puddle.
  2510. >You're so relaxed and turned on, that he enters you with zero resistance, both of you gasping at the feeling.
  2511. >You look into each other's eyes in silence as the song continues playing.
  2512. >Kissing him fiercely, you hear the next part.
  2513. >"I'll take you to the highest mountain"
  2514. >You're nowhere near that just yet, but you can already tell that it's going to be awesome when you reach the peak.
  2515. >"To the depths of the deepest sea"
  2516. >He plumbs your deepest depths, pushing himself in all the way and making your rears collide with a small smack as you keep making out.
  2517. >"And we won't need a map, believe me"
  2518. >He certainly proves that point, furiously seeking out all your sensitive spots and giving them firm squeezes.
  2519. >"Now let my body do the moving"
  2520. >He does exactly that, letting you stay on top, yet being the one to move.
  2521. >"And let my hands do the soothing"
  2522. >Oh mare, there's certainly no shortage of that.
  2523. >You collapse onto his chest, licking the salty drops of his sweat off his neck and face while you let him do whatever he wants to you.
  2524. >"That's all there is
  2525. >Nothing more than you can feel now
  2526. >That's all there is"
  2527. >Well, you certainly don't want to feel anything else right now.
  2528. >His scent, his taste, his... Touch.
  2529. >You wrap your tail around his leg, rubbing it back and forth as your bodies keep rubbing against each other.
  2530. >"Let me put you on a ship, on a long, long trip"
  2531. >You certainly hope this trip is very, very long.
  2532. >"Your lips close to my lips"
  2533. >Both of you glance at each other at that line, going in for another sloppy kiss.
  2534. >"All the islands in the ocean"
  2535. >He certainly takes the time to lovingly explore each and every island of yours.
  2536. >"All the heavens in motion"
  2537. >You do feel almost like you're flying.
  2538. >"Let me show you the world in my eyes"
  2539. >Show me. Show me more. Show me everything. Everything you got, give it to me, mmmm...
  2540. >"That's all there is
  2541. >Nothing more than you can touch now
  2542. >That's all there is"
  2543. >That's... Not true.
  2544. >There's so, so much more here than someone merely touching you.
  2545. >You moan in pleasure at the sheer magic he's working on you.
  2546. >The song continues playing as you lose yourself in the pleasure-filled haze of the most ancient of dances the two of you are performing.
  2547. >Let me show you the world in my eyes
  2548. >Let me show you the world in my eyes
  2549. >Let me show you the world in my eyes...
  2550.  
  2551. ---------
  2552.  
  2553. >You didn't bother counting how many times you reached the highest mountain, whinnying in pleasure and joy.
  2554. >The few times he looked at you with concern and tried to slow down, you fiercely bit him in the shoulder or the ear, demanding for him to keep going until he was finished.
  2555. >He obliged, wrapping his limbs around you in ways you didn't think possible, pressing the two of you as close together as he could.
  2556. >The two of you kept going through the night, constantly getting aroused again and again as you cuddled and rubbed your bodies against one another, him trailing his hands through your coat while you licked and nibbled on him, holding on to him with your sock-clad legs.
  2557. >He really, really liked those, constantly glancing at them even if his hands were exploring other parts of your body.
  2558. >The device kept playing music the entire time in the background, adding a pleasant ambiance.
  2559. >As you lie there, completely spent and exhausted in the best, most pleasant way imaginable, you hear another song start.
  2560. >Your ear automatically turns towards the sound, the rest of you too busy basking in the pleasure to care.
  2561. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vd_nkokQwnQ
  2562. >"Words like violence break the silence
  2563. >Come crashing in into my little world
  2564. >Painful to me, pierce right through me
  2565. >Can't you understand? Oh, my little girl"
  2566. >As before, the sound quality is superb, and the amount of songs on such a tiny thing is impressive. You decide to get one of those things for yourself sometime.
  2567. >"All I ever wanted
  2568. >All I ever needed is here, in my arms
  2569. >Words are very unnecessary
  2570. >They can only do harm"
  2571. >You blink slowly, lying tiredly on top of a man that spent his entire energy on making you feel good for the past... You don't even know how long.
  2572. >For once, there's not a single thought in your head. Nothing but a pleasant, empty fog.
  2573. >Life's concerns will come back, you're faintly aware of that much, but for now, they can buck off and stay there.
  2574. >Despite the lack of thoughts, or perhaps precisely because of that, the words resonate powerfully in your mind.
  2575. >It's only when the song ends and your lover grunts a bit you realize just how hard you're hugging him.
  2576. >Easing up, you nuzzle against his neck apologetically.
  2577. >Another song starts, but the lyrics from the previous one keep running through your head.
  2578. "All I ever wanted... All I ever needed is here, in my arms..."
  2579.  
  2580. ***************************
  2581.  
  2582. >Back in the present, you grimace.
  2583. "Oh, to Tartarus with it."
  2584. >Spitfire tilts her head quizzically, but remains quiet.
  2585. "I'm doing it."
  2586. >"Really."
  2587. "Yup."
  2588. >There's a minute of silence as what you just said sinks in.
  2589. >She nods slowly.
  2590. >"Well, I can respect that. What if it fails?"
  2591. >You shrug.
  2592. "Then I won't be even the tiniest bit worse off than I am now. Financially, maybe, but I can deal with that. Let's face it, Spitfire, neither one of us is getting a stallion until we're done with our careers. Or, well, done with the heavy touring and whatnot, at least. Maybe we can get some cushy office jobs with fewer hours after everything is said and done. But until that happens.... I want someone to come back to, rare as it would be. That's a long time for a mare to spend alone. One-night stands can be really fun, but whenever you get a really good one, then you can't help but think "Well, why don't I just bring him home and keep him there?" Wouldn't work for anything but having a toy-colt, usually, but..."
  2593. >"But you're saying humans are different."
  2594. "Aren't they? You kept going on about how their thinking is different from ours."
  2595. >"Well... Yeah. But is it different in the right way for us in this situation? You really think he'll stay loyal to you?"
  2596. >You shrug again.
  2597. "I can't speak for an entire species, Spitfire, they're still individuals. Obviously, there's probably some garbage men out there. But that's not the feeling I got from my man. What about you?"
  2598. >"Already calling him your man, huh?"
  2599. >You grin awkwardly.
  2600. "Slip of the tongue."
  2601. >"Right..."
  2602. >You look at her for a minute while she mulls on it.
  2603. "You don't have to do it just because I am, you know. It's not too late to back out."
  2604. >Giving you a flat look, she snorts.
  2605. >"As I said already, you're the one that dragged me into this mess, featherbrain."
  2606. >You grin back smugly.
  2607. "And so far, at least, you loved every second of it."
  2608. >She sits back, considering it.
  2609. >"Damn it, Fleetfoot. Screw you. Screw you so very hard. Screw you with a cactus in all three of your holes."
  2610. >You laugh.
  2611. "It's really not an easy choice, is it?"
  2612. >"No, it's not. And now that I had a good lay, I don't think I can go back to being celibate, damn it."
  2613. "Well damn, boss, looks like your only options are to get yourself a man or become a massive stallionizer that drags helpless colts right from the stands after a show for some locker room fun, heh heh."
  2614. >She rolls her eyes.
  2615. >"Or men. They come to our shows, you know. Guess I'd be a... Meninizer? Whatever."
  2616. >You both snort.
  2617. >There's another few minutes of silence as the two of you consider things.
  2618. >In the end, though, Spitfire breaks.
  2619. >"Blazing blasted Tartarus... Guess I'm going back to Canterlot."
  2620. "You... Need any help?"
  2621. >She looks at you incredulously.
  2622. >"I think you helped enough, thank you very much. I can take it from here. Go find your own man, or something."
  2623. >Cackling, you lift off, stretching your forelegs as you slowly drift towards your room.
  2624. "So, do you want to borrow a couple pairs of socks, or are you going to take it slow with Anon?"
  2625. >"...Bucking dyke, seriously. Just give me the socks and shut up about it."
  2626. "Yes, captain!"
  2627. >"*Indistinct grumbling*"
  2628. "Hehehe."
  2629.  
  2630. ***********************************************
  2631.  
  2632. >Be Spitfire once more.
  2633. >You purse your lips and do your best to clamp down on your hesitance as Fleetfoot hoofs you the rolled-up socks, that Tartarus-damned grin back in full force.
  2634. >"Here, you can borrow a saddlebag. Don't want to have a slip-up and have them unroll mid-flight, do we?"
  2635. "Right."
  2636. >You briefly hesitate before your hoof makes contact with the things.
  2637. >Mare up, damn it!
  2638. >You grab the socks, feeling like you just made some kind of deal with Discord.
  2639. >Shaking off the feeling, you stuff them into the saddlebag, making sure it's clasped shut tightly.
  2640. >VERY tightly.
  2641. >Slipping on the cursed container, you turn to Fleetfoot.
  2642. "This is it, then. Guess we'll meet back at the base on Monday. Good luck with Incognito."
  2643. >"You too, Spits. Go knock Anon flat."
  2644. "We'll see."
  2645. >You trot outside, taking a deep breath and feeling the wind for a moment before spreading your wings and taking off.
  2646. >You swiftly make your way to your place, only paying the absolute minimum attention to your surroundings, your mind wandering elsewhere.
  2647. >Entering your bachelor pad, you stop for a moment and look at the place with a critical eye.
  2648. >Some trophies, posters, and minimal, purely functional furniture arranged with military precision.
  2649. >Yeah, a stallion would have a breakdown within a week if he tried to live here.
  2650. >And, again, Anon couldn't anyway. Not a pegasus.
  2651. >Shaking your head, you trot towards your goal.
  2652. >Your closet.
  2653. >Your wardrobe is not particularly impressive.
  2654. >A couple spare uniforms and flight suits in case of some kind of emergencies, and a single jacket.
  2655. >You examine it as you take it from the hanger.
  2656. >No holes or tears that you can see.
  2657. >Hm.
  2658. >You have no idea how "fashionable" it might be today.
  2659. >The very idea of fashion seemed like an idiotic scam for gullible stallions to you. A bunch of mares and a couple token stallions deciding what's popular that year, with those same mares selling the clothes? Yeah.
  2660. >Well, Anon shouldn't care anyway, right?
  2661. >Even if he cares about fashion, he's an alien.
  2662. >And he liked you when you were fully naked, anyway.
  2663. >Does that mean wearing clothes would trigger some kind of reaction to make him judge you as a human?
  2664. "Damn it... Stop overthinking it, Spitfire. Just go for it," You mutter, donning the bomber jacket.
  2665. >You give yourself a once-over in a mirror, striking a pose.
  2666. >Smokin'.
  2667. >Checking that your saddlebag is tightly closed one last time, you trot towards the door and take to the skies.
  2668. >The trip back to Canterlot is quiet.
  2669. >You go through the entire thing almost without thinking about it.
  2670. >Your wings are a bit tired from making the trip back and forth in a single day, but it's not even remotely something you can't handle.
  2671. >A tightness in your gut begins to form as you approach the Valley View hotel.
  2672. >This is the critical moment... Or one of the moments, at least.
  2673. >You said goodbye to Anon earlier today, with the full understanding that you're probably not going to meet again any time soon, if ever.
  2674. >What is he going to think when you knock on his door?
  2675. >You approach the window instead, peeking inside.
  2676. >Empty.
  2677. >Hm...
  2678. >You glance around, but there's no clocktowers in sight.
  2679. >Sighing, you flap your wings again, circling the hotel and landing in front.
  2680. >Entering the lobby, you beeline for the mare at the desk.
  2681. "Excuse me, could you tell me the time?"
  2682. >She glances at a clock hidden somewhere under her desk.
  2683. >"Of course, ma'am. It's four-fifty right now."
  2684. "Thanks."
  2685. >You nod and trot away, thinking.
  2686. >Not quite late yet, but it's early evening.
  2687. >You wonder how long Anon might be out, looking for work. It can't be too long, right?
  2688. >You only had breakfast and that cider at Fleetfoot's, something which your stomach is quick to remind you of the moment you think about food.
  2689. >You grit your teeth and ignore it, though, deciding to wait for Anon.
  2690. >You hope he didn't go out to have dinner yet...
  2691. >You want to go with him, and it'd be stupid if you were the only one stuffing your face.
  2692. >Making your way to the room, you find it locked.
  2693. >Darn.
  2694. >Well, he is a single stallion in an unfamiliar country. It's natural for him not to feel entirely safe.
  2695. >Trotting back down you go outside and find a comfy roof to lie down on.
  2696. >You know that some ponies hate it when pegasi perch on their roofs, but they can kiss your flank.
  2697. >It's not like you're going to crap on their windowsills like a bird.
  2698. >Though sometimes, the temptation is certainly there, given the manure they shout at you...
  2699. >Shaking your head, you focus on your goal.
  2700. >Anon.
  2701. >It doesn't take too long for him to arrive. Bit more than half an hour, you think.
  2702. >You raise an eyebrow. He's lugging a large backpack of some kind this time around.
  2703. >It looks quite sizeable, but he doesn't seem to be struggling in the slightest, his legs carrying the weight with total ease.
  2704. >You end up watching his exotic, two-legged frame for a bit too long.
  2705. >It's only when he's almost at the hotel door that you remember that you're supposed to go talk to him.
  2706. >Cursing under your breath, you stand up and spread your wings, taking after him.
  2707. >Once you're through the door, he's nowhere to be seen.
  2708. >You decide to trot on hoof rather than blast through the hotel like a lovestruck filly.
  2709. >Plenty of pegasi would do it, but you have to constantly watch yourself, given your position in the public eye.
  2710. >You make your way to the room, taking in a deep breath.
  2711. >You then let it out, and take another. Then you feel stupid.
  2712. >You're a Wonderbolts captain, damn it! Mare up!
  2713. >Mentally kicking the crap out of the butterflies in your stomach, you raise a hoof and knock on the door.
  2714. >"Coming."
  2715. >You reflexively fluff your wings as you hear his hoof- his footsteps approach the door.
  2716. >"...Spitfire?"
  2717. >He's understandably confused when he opens the door and sees you.
  2718. >"Did you forget something? I don't remember you really having anything with you, though..."
  2719. "No, Anon, I didn't forget anything."
  2720. >"Then why...?"
  2721. >You take another deep breath.
  2722. "Anon, I am about to be very blunt and direct with you. Usually, I'd be nervous to do that with a stallion, but you don't seem the type to freak out."
  2723. >"Is this what people refer to as a "booty call"?" He asks with a faint smile.
  2724. >You cough and sputter as he completely derails your train of thought.
  2725. "NO!"
  2726. >He flinches a bit at your impressively loud denial.
  2727. >"So, uh, what-"
  2728. "I think I like you," You blurt out.
  2729. >"...What?"
  2730. "Just let me speak for a minute, okay? No interrupting."
  2731. >"Go for it."
  2732. >You take yet another, hopefully final, deep breath.
  2733. "Alright, so, here's the situation. I was... Lonely for the longest time. Not lonely lonely, I had no shortage of ponies to deal with every single day, and I have plenty of friends. Lonely in the sense of... Lack of companionship from the opposite gender. It went on for quite a long time. I'm a bit of a celebrity, as I told you. I'm not sure how it is in your world, but here, there's these ponies we refer to as "paparazzi". They're... A real pain in the flank."
  2734. >"Seriously? You have them here too? Nevermind, keep going."
  2735. "You guys too?! Mare, they're an *interdimensional* pain in the flank? Celestia... Anyway, uh... Mares have certain needs they need to take care of, or it starts driving them a little crazy. Oh, why am I being gentle, we literally rutted already... I'm talking about sex, Anon. Not getting any can be extremely frustrating, especially if it's a high-stress job, like, say, a Wonderbolts captain. And such a job also attracts paparazzi, who are all too eager to follow you and harass both you and the stallion that you managed to find with idiotic questions, or outright take photos of you in the act, if they can catch you... Which is why I didn't have any fun with a stallion in... Close to a decade."
  2736. >You expect him to say something by that point, but he dutifully remains quiet, only giving you a discerning look.
  2737. "Fleetfoot noticed that I was gradually getting off my rocker, and she suggested a solution. You... Know what happened next," You grin sheepishly, wiggling your eyebrows at him just a bit.
  2738. >He remains silent for a moment longer as you both stand there in awkward silence.
  2739. >"Alright, so... I understand what you mean, but you said this is NOT a booty call?"
  2740. "Right, no! No, it's not. Yes, the night we had was amazing. The best rut of my life. No, better than all the stallions I had *combined*, you amazing, unbelievable stud," You sigh with a smile, your wings extending unconsciously as he faintly blushes, coughing awkwardly. "But that's not what I want from you. I don't want you to be a toycolt for me to call on."
  2741. >"So then...?"
  2742. "I... Have you ever heard of the "military-mare's curse"?"
  2743. >"No? Should I have? Is that something literal? Is there some kind of magical curse on you?" He asks with a confused frown, making you laugh.
  2744. "Hahahah, no, no. Just..."
  2745. >He raises an eyebrow at you as you trail off.
  2746. >"You said you were going to be very blunt and direct, but you're hesitating right now."
  2747. >You narrow your eyes at him, just a little.
  2748. "Yeah, well, I'm not sure how you're going to react to what I'm saying, what with your alien mindset and all. One moment, you act just like a particularly fine stallion would, next one, you're saying something weird... But you're right. I said I would be direct, and I'm not one to go back on my word. The so called "curse" - it applies to a lot of mares in specific professions, not just military mares. Mares that need to travel a lot for their careers, essentially. They're usually very good careers, earning the mare lots of bits. But, if said mares are in relationships, they tend to go bad as often as they don't. Stallions are very... Emotion-driven, and most of them don't seem to be able to logically grasp the fact that their comfortable life is being provided by the mare that's *not* there. They get very close to the mares that are staying with them at home, even if those mares are lazy do-nothings, while the travelling mare provides literally everything for them, and yet, when she returns, she often just gets the cold shoulder."
  2749. >Anon's expression gradually darkens as you keep explaining, becoming an ugly, angry grimace by the very end.
  2750. >You wonder what is he going to do now.
  2751. >Explode on you for being a "chauvinistic sexist"?
  2752. >"Same thing... Same damned thing... Fleetfoot was right, damn it," He mutters with a thousand-yard stare, confusing you.
  2753. "What do you mean?" You ask, making him snap out of it.
  2754. >"I... Fleetfoot said something yesterday. About us humans imagining Equestria as some kind of utopia, and how that was a load of bunk," He laughs, a bitter, nasty sound. "It really is, isn't it? It's the same thing as on Earth. Veterans getting cheated on by their spouses when they're on deployment is a... Depressingly regular occurrence."
  2755. >You bite your lip as you process what he just said.
  2756. "And with your weird alien society, who are the soldiers and who are the ones cheating?"
  2757. >"Huh? Well, men are the ones going out, of course. Now, I certainly can't say that no man ever banged someone while out on deployment, but... Well, they're often too busy trying not to get shot or blown up to think about such things."
  2758. >You press your lips together from the sheer disgust of what you just heard.
  2759. >The human mares are so bucking lazy and weak, they send their own colts to fight and can't even stay loyal while they get to stay at home and drink cider all day?
  2760. >Kicking that thought away, you focus on Anon again.
  2761. "So if we get together, you wouldn't cheat on me?"
  2762. >"Huh? Well, I mean..."
  2763. >You clear your throat.
  2764. "Anon, I'm about to be blunt again. Yes, the... Encounter we had was just me trying to scratch an itch. I didn't even think much of humans, but Fleetfoot convinced me. However, like I said, it was an amazing experience, and it got me thinking. I don't want to sneak around and dodge the Celestia-damned paparazzi every time I want to get laid. In fact, I don't want to have one-night stands either, even if I could do it with no worries. I worked my flank off for Equestria, and I'd say that I deserve to finally have a real, normal, relationship, damn it. However, what I want and what is possible are very different things. That is reality, and as a mare, I am fully capable of accepting that. But you... You're different. You would *be* different, or so Fleetfoot says. So..."
  2765. >"...Yeah?"
  2766. "...Would you like to go out on a date with me, Anon?"
  2767. >"A date."
  2768. "Yes. A date. Not a "let's get drunk and rut wildly" date. A real date, with the intent of us getting into a relationship together. A real, serious relationship, with *commitment*. I don't want a toycolt, Anon. I want (You). You wouldn't exploit me for money and run away the moment I'm on tour like those women back home, would you, Anon?"
  2769. >"NEVER," He growls angrily.
  2770. >You grin.
  2771. "Awesome. So...?"
  2772. >"Oh, right. Um... Well... Okay."
  2773. "OH YEAH!"
  2774. >You spread your wings and jump into the air, hoof-pumping with a mad grin.
  2775. >"My word, you're adorable," Anon grins like a maniac, making you snort and land again.
  2776. "Stop that. Mares are not adorable, or cute. We're tough and cool."
  2777. >"Right, of course you are," He says, still grinning, reaching out with a hand and scratching behind your ear.
  2778. "Hnnnhg... Stoooop...."
  2779. >You shake your head and snort, giving him a flat look.
  2780. >He's still grinning.
  2781. >Then, you sigh sadly.
  2782. >"Sorry, was that so unpleasant? I thought you liked it..."
  2783. "I did. It's just... I'm sorry."
  2784. >"What for, Spitfire?"
  2785. "For this mess. Rutting you silly in a one-night stand and then asking you out on a date is... Not the most normal or good way to start a relationship. But I honestly, truly mean it, Anon. I promise, I am NOT just going after you just for your body," You proclaim, looking him right in the eye.
  2786.  
  2787. >That seems to amuse him greatly, making him laugh.
  2788. "What's so funny?"
  2789. >"Well, heheh, I don't have any problems believing that. My body's not exactly anything special."
  2790. >You frown angrily as you're about to correct him, before you hear hoofsteps close by.
  2791. >Some random mare is trotting in your direction.
  2792. >You blink as you remember just where you are, feeling a bit stupid.
  2793. "The hallway might not be the best place for big conversations, Anon. May I come in, or do you want to go out right now?"
  2794. >"Of course, come in," He gestures, waving you inside.
  2795. >You hope he's not the kind of stallion that takes two hours to prepare for going on a date. You're about to find out, you suppose.
  2796. >You glance around the room.
  2797. >It's practically the same, save for Anon's backpack.
  2798. "I'm assuming this means you moved out of the place you were renting?"
  2799. >"Yeah. Didn't have much packing to do, fortunately. Downsizing everything I have to this much took a little effort, but man, being able to just pick things up and take off is satisfying."
  2800. >You nod, slightly surprised that he somehow managed to cram everything he owns into that.
  2801. >Would it be inappropriate to ask what's in there?
  2802. >At least half of it is probably makeup and perfumes.
  2803. >No, wait... You never smelt any on Anon. Or seen him wear makeup.
  2804. >Huh.
  2805. >He walks to the bathroom, closing the door.
  2806. >Well, moment of truth.
  2807. >You sigh quietly and go to the couch, ready to twiddle your hooves for a while.
  2808. >You slide off the saddlebag, glancing to make sure that it's still clasped firmly.
  2809. >Were the socks a mistake?
  2810. >Shaking your head, you forcefully make yourself stop thinking about the things, turning your thoughts back to Anon.
  2811. >You hope at least half an hour will be enough for him to get ready, not a full one.
  2812. >To your shock, he comes out barely a couple minutes later.
  2813. >You look him up and down, trying to notice a difference.
  2814. >The only thing you can even see is that he combed his mane.
  2815. "You're... Ready to go?"
  2816. >"Yeah? Why, is there something I should do? Don't tell me it's a fancy restaurant. I don't exactly have a suit and tie with me."
  2817. "No, no," You shake your head. "I, ah... I didn't actually choose where I wanted to go. I just came straight from Cloudsdale to here," You lie slightly, cursing yourself for not scouting out the area instead of sitting on that roof.
  2818. >"Oh, well... That's fine. Do you have any recommendations?"
  2819. "Canterlot... Not much, honestly. There are a few joints that I like quite a lot, but... We can't really go there."
  2820. >"Hm? Are they too far, or something?"
  2821. "No, but they're built for pegasi. Towertop restaurants with cloud seats and the like. Even if I flew you up, you wouldn't be able to sit there."
  2822. >"Oh. Darn. That actually sounds like a really cool place."
  2823. "Maybe we can find a unicorn who knows a cloudwalking spell sometime, and we'll go. Right now, though, we'll have to stick with the ground. Sorry."
  2824. >"It's fine. In that case... Can I make a recommendation?"
  2825. "Absolutely," You nod, mentally exhaling in relief.
  2826. >"Well, there was this gastropub I saw while I was going to pick up my stuff..."
  2827. >You wrinkle your nose a tiny bit.
  2828. "Gastropub? Sounds like mutant cross between a restaurant that's too fancy to serve food and an actual pub."
  2829. >He laughs.
  2830. >"Fortunately, that's not the case. It's just a pub that serves high-quality food as we as drinks. I did actually see a bunch of those kinds of restaurants, where the "food" is something like three peas on a plate with a fancy streak of sauce. Yet another idiocy that's the same between our worlds. But no, they serve good portions there, from what I saw and smelled."
  2831. "Still, though... I could take you somewhere nicer, if you want."
  2832. >He takes a moment to think before shrugging helplessly.
  2833. >"From what you said just then, it sounds to me like you're aware that the only thing "fancy" restaurants have that more casual ones don't is pretentiousness. And the super-fancy ones don't even have food. So no, I'm good with a pub."
  2834. "If you're sure."
  2835. >"I am. Shall we go, then?"
  2836. "Lead the way."
  2837. >He nods, taking the lead.
  2838. >The pair of you make your way down the stairs and into the street.
  2839. >Even though nothing's agreed upon yet, you still trot right next to him, close enough to touch.
  2840. >You manage to resist possessively wrapping your tail around one of his legs, though, tempting as it would be.
  2841. >Probably too early.
  2842. >Oh. And humans don't have tails. Not sure how'd he interpret it.
  2843. >As you two walk, you notice him glancing at you from the corners of his eyes.
  2844. >You want to say something to fill the silence, but you're not sure what.
  2845. >As much of a pain in the flank as she was the past week, you kind of wish Fleetfoot was here to give you more advice.
  2846. >Given how much of a celebrity you are, flirting was not something you ever really had to do much of.
  2847. >Stallions would fall all over you with minimal effort.
  2848. >And that was for a rut, too, not for an actual relationship.
  2849. >Fortunately, Anon decides to speak first.
  2850. >"That's a pretty cool jacket, Spitfire. Is that your uniform, or something?"
  2851. "Oh. No, it's not. Just something I bought some time ago," You shake your head, though you can't help but puff up a little from the fact he likes it.
  2852. >"Huh. Okay. Can I ask what's it for? Does it actually get cold enough in Cloudsdale for pegasi to wear clothes?"
  2853. "Uh, not really..."
  2854. >"Really? Then why would- oh. Heh."
  2855. >He chuckles, running a hand through your mane.
  2856. "What?"
  2857. >"Did you wear it to have something nice for our date?"
  2858. "....Maybe. It depends," You say, not looking him in the eyes.
  2859. >"Really? On what?"
  2860. "Do you like it?"
  2861. >He laughs again, shaking his head.
  2862. >"Yeah. You look cool. Despite not wearing pants."
  2863. >You give him a questioning look.
  2864. "Why would I need pants?"
  2865. >"...Why do ponies wear clothes at all? You're all just fine butt naked, from what I saw. No, a better question is, how and why did ponies invent clothes in the first place, if you don't need them at all?"
  2866. "Well, we do need protection from stuff, so there's specialist gear for hostile environments and the like. And winters do get cold enough for some ponies to need clothes."
  2867. >"Pretty much everyone in Canterlot just wears them as a status symbol, from what I saw."
  2868. >You snort disdainfully.
  2869. "Well, it is the capital, where all the nobles and rich folk hang out. They're always trying to show off, in every way imaginable."
  2870. >"Still doesn't explain how fancy clothes became a status symbol. We wear clothes all the time, so it makes sense."
  2871. >You shake your head.
  2872. >Not the topic you expected to talk about on your date.
  2873. "I don't know the history of that, Anon. Isn't it better for you, though? Make it less weird when ponies wear clothes too?"
  2874. >He grins.
  2875. >"It doesn't work as well when they're not wearing pants. Then it just looks goofy. Or kinky."
  2876. >You swat his legs with your tail.
  2877. "You're really into those things, huh? What's so special about pants?"
  2878. >"They keep me safe, comfortably warm, and protect my privates from lecherous mares who's muzzles are roughly at my crotch level."
  2879. >You snort, trying not to bust out laughing.
  2880. "Hold up there, hotshot. Where did that come from? Just the day before, you didn't even believe that a mare might be interested in you."
  2881. >"Yeah, well, you really opened my eyes to that possibility. And when I was walking around today with a fresh perspective, I could have sworn that at least half the mares I passed by shot thirsty looks at my crotch."
  2882. >When he mentions that, you can't help but do the same, appreciating the faint bulge.
  2883. >He notices, giving you a flat look as you cover your mouth with a wing and cough to hide a grin.
  2884. "Sorry."
  2885. >"It's fine... I think. Still a bit hard to believe it's happening at all," He mutters, rubbing his chin with a faraway look in his eyes.
  2886. >You gently bump into his legs, bringing his attention back.
  2887. "Better believe it, big guy. This mare is very interested in you."
  2888. >"Right, well... We're here."
  2889. >He nods towards a fairly large, two-story establishment.
  2890. >It's quite full, but with the size, you're pretty sure you'd be able to get seats quite fast even if all of them are taken at the moment.
  2891. >Well, he was right about one thing, at least.
  2892. >Your nostrils flare as the scent of food floods your nose.
  2893. >The place does smell pretty damn good.
  2894. "Well, let's see this "gastropub" thing.
  2895. >Trotting in, you look around. It is pretty packed.
  2896. >From what you can see, the food looks as good as it smells.
  2897. "Let's check out the second floor."
  2898. >"Alright."
  2899. >Finding an empty table, you go back down again to order.
  2900. >You're pretty hungry, so you order a hayburger and a big plate of hayfries.
  2901. >Anon scans the menu for a while with pursed lips, before picking a big serving of cheesy pasta.
  2902. >You then both get drinks, Anon going for a bitter ale.
  2903. >You're still a little surprised to see that he actually likes the stuff.
  2904. >Getting back to your table, you both sip your drinks.
  2905. "So, was the menu not to your liking, Anon? You looked unhappy about something."
  2906. >"Eh, it wasn't bad. Honestly, I was just hoping to get some fish again."
  2907. "You're a big-time meat eater, huh?"
  2908. >"Um, well..."
  2909. >You raise an eyebrow when he looks pretty uncomfortable for some reason.
  2910. "What's with the reaction? I eat fish too, remember?"
  2911. >"I know. I am an omnivore that's leaning closer to a carnivore, though. We need meat to survive, and I ate... Lots of things other than fish. Does that bother you?"
  2912. >You snort, jamming a hoof over your muzzle.
  2913. >Shaking off your laughter, you shake your head.
  2914. "Anon, I'm not some earth pony with a tree branch up my tailhole. No pegasus would ever criticize you enjoying a good fish. And what about you ate in the past could possibly bother me?"
  2915. >"Hold up, what you just said implies that there is some kind of societal disapproval for meat eaters."
  2916. >You roll your eyes.
  2917. "It's just a small subset of earth ponies, Anon. No one worth their salt gives a damn about them. Really, the whole thing is suspect. They say that it's wrong and immoral, and that ponies should only eat plants. Plants that those same earth ponies grow. Yeah, totally honest intentions and no conflict of interest there."
  2918. >"Heh. Alright."
  2919. "So what was that about you eating things other than fish?"
  2920. >He grins awkwardly.
  2921. >"So, you know how we're the only sapient species on our planet?"
  2922. "...Yeah?"
  2923. >"Well, we have lots of animals that also exist in Equestria. Ones that we raise for food. Chickens, turkeys, ducks, pigs... Also cows, sheep, goats, and so on."
  2924. >You stop mid-gulp as he mentions the cows and the others.
  2925. >Swallowing quickly, you thump your chest as you almost choke.
  2926. "Are you saying you ate cows, Anon?"
  2927. >"Yeah. Though I much prefer sheep. Lamb steaks are delicious."
  2928. >He says it quietly, glancing around.
  2929. >Probably no need, given how loud the bar is, but maybe he's right to do it after all.
  2930. >Some ponies would definitely freak out if someone randomly started proclaiming how delicious sheep are.
  2931. >You take another gulp of cider as you scrunch your muzzle.
  2932. "You know that... Creatures like cows and sheep aren't animals? They can talk?"
  2933. >"Not on Earth. Same as horses and ponies."
  2934. "Right, well... Uh... I'm not sure what to even say."
  2935. >He gives you a small shrug with an apologetic smile.
  2936. "Did you eat any ponies?"
  2937. >"No. In most countries, horses are not considered as animals suitable for food."
  2938. "Right. What was it that you said humans use horses for?"
  2939. >"Riding. Beasts of burden."
  2940. "Kinky. You ever "rode" any horses, Anon?"
  2941. >He sputters.
  2942. >"That's not what that means at-"
  2943. "Hahahah!"
  2944. >He stops when he sees you laughing.
  2945. >"Ha ha. No, Spitfire, bestiality is not in my list of interests."
  2946. "Good to know. And... Well, I don't know what to tell you about your previous dietary habits. You don't *need* to eat sheep or cows to live, do you?"
  2947. >Your food arrives then, both of you shutting up and thanking the mare for the food.
  2948. >You start tearing into your hayburger, while Anon spins up a big wad of pasta and sticks it in his mouth.
  2949. >After a few bites, he speaks up again.
  2950. >"No, I don't need red meat specifically, though I do need things like fat and protein a lot more. Not only living only off carbohydrates would probably kill me - seriously, I saw ponies eat enough sugar in one sitting to give me diabetes - I can't digest lots of your pony stuff. Like hay," He nods towards your hayfries.
  2951. "Sounds almost like you have a pegasus diet. We need lots of fat too, for shiny feathers and healthy coats. And protein for building muscles. Though that counts for me more, since I'm an athlete."
  2952. >"That's a relief. Long-term survival was something I've been somewhat concerned with, but you guys seem to have loads of similar things that we have on Earth."
  2953. >You shake your head.
  2954. "I wouldn't let you starve, Anon, even if I'd have to pay to import food from Earth. Or maybe Griffonstone. Ever seen a griffon?"
  2955. >"The catbirds? Yeah, I saw a few. Giving a lion wings and hands with eagle claws? That's some ultimate predator stuff."
  2956. >You chuckle.
  2957. "Don't let them hear you call them that. But yeah, those guys are pretty big on meat as well, and no one important cares. Hm... We should hit up a griffon restaurant sometime. See how you like it."
  2958. >"...Huh. Okay. Well. This conversation went to some weird places."
  2959. >You snort.
  2960. "I'd expect nothing less from an alien."
  2961. >He shakes his head and goes back to his pasta.
  2962. >"Right. I wonder if all date conversations turn weird."
  2963. >You open your mouth to say something, only to realize that you have nothing.
  2964. "I.. Wouldn't know."
  2965. >"Hm?"
  2966. >You shrug.
  2967. "I don't think I've ever been on a date before."
  2968. >He stares at you for a moment as you toss some hayfries in your mouth, trying to appear nonchalant.
  2969. >"Huh."
  2970. "Never needed to when I was just looking for some quick fun, you know?"
  2971. >"Well, I've never been on a date either, so... This is a first date for both of us."
  2972. >You stare at each other for a minute before snorting and going back to your food.
  2973. >What Anon just said sounds weird as heck, though.
  2974. >He never went on a date. Ever.
  2975. >Does that mean that Fleetfoot was right? Was Anon an actual virgin when you took him?
  2976. >One that gave you the ride of your life.
  2977. >How?!
  2978. >Instead of talking more, both of you work to finish your food before it turns completely cold.
  2979. >Once you're done, you both nurse your half-empty drinks, trying to find a new thread of conversation.
  2980. >"So..."
  2981. >Your ears perk up.
  2982. "Yeah?"
  2983. >"I'm guessing we should talk about relationships."
  2984. "Could you be a little more specific?"
  2985. >"I actually don't think I can. It's pretty clear that what a "relationship" is to me and you are similar, but deeply different concepts is some regards."
  2986. "So...?"
  2987. >"Describe a relationship, Spitfire. Between you and me. If this works out between us, what's going to happen?"
  2988. >You take a pull of cider as you mull it over. Since you discussed some stuff with Fleetfoot already, the basics come to you quite easily.
  2989. "Well, first of all, I'd provide a place for you to live, of course. A proper place, not a hotel room. I'd tell you that you'd move in with me, but I don't actually own any property in Canterlot yet. I have a place in Cloudsdale, but... I don't think you'd be able to live there comfortably."
  2990. >He whistles faintly.
  2991. >"That sounds like a heck of an investment. Not only is this the capital, but space on a mountainside is at a bloody premium."
  2992. "And? So what? Anon, if I couldn't even provide an appropriate living space for you, I wouldn't be courting you. Besides, I could sell it literally any time. It's not like the money is gone forever when you buy a place."
  2993. >"Yeah, you're right. With the consistent and constant demand, you could even make a good profit, if the place you bought wasn't run-down or poorly maintained and required sinking in lots of money for repairs. Unless something really drastic happens, it's not likely that the real estate market in the nation's capital would collapse. Like some guy back on Earth said, "Buy land, they don't make it any more." "
  2994. >You tilt your head a little in surprise when he says it.
  2995. >No matter how many times you tell yourself that Anon is different, little things like that still catch you off-guard. It sounds so damn strange to hear sensible economic wisdom from a stallion.
  2996. "Yeah. And remember, we don't even have to pick Canterlot. I can fly. Fast. As long as it's not somewhere on the outskirts of Equestria, I can make it there with little issue. You seemed to like Canterlot, though."
  2997. >"Well, I wouldn't mind going somewhere else... But how far is your workplace from here? Are there any other cities that are closer?"
  2998. "Not... Really. There's Ponyville, which is roughly the same distance from the Wonderbolts academy. You might have seen it if you looked down into the valley from the mountainside. I don't think you'd find anything to do there, though. It's a little farming village."
  2999. >"Right, probably little to no demand for an electrician there."
  3000. "Exactly. Canterlot it is, then."
  3001. >"You'd really do something like that for me, huh," He says quietly, with a small, sad smile.
  3002. >You frown.
  3003. "Like I said already, yes, Anon, I would. I'm a proper, hard-working mare, and I'm not talking out of my flank here. You're still unfamiliar with stuff here, but you can ask anyone in Equestria, and they'll know who Spitfire and the Wonderbolts are. And being a proper mare involves taking care of your stallion... As long as the stallion takes care of the mare."
  3004. >"Right, that. Can you explain stallions to me?"
  3005. >Now THAT throws you for a loop.
  3006. >You open and close your mouth a few times, fruitlessly reaching for your mug, only to find it empty.
  3007. >Eventually, you slowly shake your head with an awkward grin.
  3008. "Sorry, Anon, but in the thousands of years ponies have been around, mares have never managed to explain stallions."
  3009. >He looks at you for a few long moments before starting to shake, and then laugh.
  3010.  
  3011. >"Hahah, yeah, no, I'm not buying it. We talked a bit about stallions before already, so I know that's not true. So, without joking around... From what I gathered, stallions are the ones who stay at home and... Protect the hearth, so to speak."
  3012. >You nod.
  3013. "Well, that's an archaic term, but yes. They are the homemakers in the relationship."
  3014. >"In that case, can you explain the guards around here? I went to take a peek at the castle once, and it was full of these huge, burly guys. Some of them were easily twice as big as mares. Back home, military roles don't exactly go to homemakers, nor to those who are physically weaker."
  3015. "Ah. You're talking about elites."
  3016. >"Elites? What, have they been altered or enhanced somehow?"
  3017. >You furrow your brows in confusion.
  3018. "Huh?"
  3019. >"Sorry, just something stupid from back home. Go on."
  3020. "Right... Well, it's a bit of a pegasus term due to our culture, though it caught on in the military in general. I'm not sure if the other tribes even have their own terms. Anyway... As you said yourself, those stallions are twice the size of mares, and all that, which obviously means that they'd have an advantage in a fight. But, you must have noticed that most other stallions are not that big at all, right? Barely bigger than mares, on average."
  3021. >"So they're an extreme outlier?"
  3022. "To an extent, yes, but not only in size. What's going on in your head also matters. Plenty of large stallions never join the military, not due to lack of strength, but aggression. Being big doesn't automatically mean you can deal well with extreme stress, or that you're ready to commit violence, possibly even kill and die in brutal combat. Stallions simply don't have the feminine aggression mares do."
  3023. >Anon's face looks like he bit into something sour.
  3024. >"Feminine... Aggression."
  3025. >You're not sure what caused the reaction, but you continue on.
  3026. "Yeah. Very few are able to overcome their soft masculine caring instincts. So those stallions? Absolute minority. Now, granted, a properly trained stallion with the right inclinations is an absolute terror on the battlefield, outclassing just about any mare. The current Captain of the Guard is a very powerful unicorn stallion, for example, and there have been stallions in history that blew any mares that tried to measure up to them out of the water. But stallions like that are vanishingly rare, and they tend to concentrate around Canterlot. You won't see many stallions in the more remote outposts and military bases. The Royal Guard are supposed to be Equestria's final line of defense. Others in the military are mostly mares."
  3027. >He sighs and nods, looking into his empty mug.
  3028. >"Should we get another round, or get going?"
  3029. >You shrug.
  3030. "I wouldn't mind a refill."
  3031. >He nods, getting up, before you raise an eyebrow and flap your wings, grabbing his mug as well.
  3032. "I'm buying, Anon, remember? Be right back."
  3033. >He chuckles as you flap away, getting back moments later.
  3034. "So, why did you want to know about stallions?"
  3035. >"To know what's expected of me in a relationship. To know the entire... Context, I guess, of what it means to be in a relationship with a mare. Thing is, Spitfire... You know that human gender roles in relationships are a bit different, right?"
  3036. >You roll your eyes at that.
  3037. "The "reversed gender roles" thing? I heard the lie, yes."
  3038. >That makes him roll his eyes right back at you.
  3039. >"Come on, Spitfire, be serious."
  3040. >You scoff.
  3041. "What? I am serious. Yes, I know your population is practically one to one, which means that you men are much tougher and independent than an average stallion. Yes, I accept that you're different from a stallion. I like that, in fact. Remember, the very reason I'm courting you is because I believe you'd be different, and wouldn't... Backstab me. But everything else..."
  3042. >He chuckles.
  3043. >"Yeah? What about everything else?"
  3044. "In that case, you tell me, Anon. Are all those stories about humans completely made up?"
  3045. >He shrugs.
  3046. >"Give me some examples."
  3047. >You rake your memory for bits of stories you skimmed through when looking for mentions of human technology and military capabilities.
  3048. "Your mares - women - are in control of the judiciary system. If a woman assaults a man in and he hits back in self defense, they arrest the man. They can accuse men of absolutely everything, and even in they're find out to be liars, nothing whatsoever happens to them, but if men are convicted, they're put away for good. The system itself is not too dissimilar from here, I don't think I ever saw a stallion judge, but mares don't exploit it to abuse stallions!"
  3049. >He grimaces, rubbing his face.
  3050. >"It's, ah... Not an entirely accurate description..."
  3051. >You snort.
  3052. "Anon, that was the weakest, most insincere retort I have ever heard in my entire life."
  3053. >He shrugs and takes a drink with a sour look, while you think further.
  3054. "What else... Men don't have property rights. If you divorce, everything you own goes to the woman, and you become some kind of slave to them and have to pay for the rest of your life. Which, honestly, did sound made up to me. That thing, what was the word... "Ali-money", it's not real, is it? Over here, when you divorce, that means you have nothing to do with the other person any more. That system you humans have sounds like "getting divorced" means you just get tied together twice as hard."
  3055. >"Oh, uh... Alimony is real, though... It doesn't get assigned in every case..."
  3056. >You're left a little slackjawed.
  3057. "Celestia..."
  3058. >Shaking your head, you take a deep drink of your cider.
  3059. >There's a few minutes of silence before you speak up again.
  3060. "Do I need to continue, Anon? Look, I get it, you're a tough alien from a rough society that made you a badflank and all that, but just now, you sounded like... I don't know, some abuse victim that was lying to himself. You're in Equestria. I'm not saying that there's no bad mares here, but... We certainly don't approve of abusing stallions here. Not even the husband-beaters are half as vicious as that, and I'm not a husband beater. You can relax a bit. Let me take care of you. You can... Let yourself be taken care of. Something I suspect you never experienced before in your entire life. Please?"
  3061. >You look into his eyes as he blinks slowly, processing what you said.
  3062. >With a sigh, he takes another gulp, looking into his mug before looking you in the eye again.
  3063. >"Take care of me, huh?"
  3064. "Yes?"
  3065. >"That's not how proper relationships work, Spitfire."
  3066. >You frown and are about to open your mouth, but he keeps going.
  3067. >"Both parties need to take care of each other, don't they?"
  3068. >You blink.
  3069. "Well... Yeah."
  3070. >"Alright, so... You're the breadwinner. You would take care of the... Material needs. And I...?"
  3071. >You swallow nervously.
  3072. "Well... You'd take care of the home... And..."
  3073. >"And?"
  3074. "And, well, while we get top notch ingredients and food for growing muscles and recovering energy back at the academy, having an actual home-cooked meal when I get back from work would be really nice... And..."
  3075. >"Oh. Huh. I might be able to do that... Eventually. I have no idea how to cook the stuff I can't eat, but I could learn... Probably. And?"
  3076. >He asks the last part with a small grin.
  3077. >You glance towards the ceiling with a grimace, rubbing the back of your neck.
  3078. "Well, there's also... Other needs... Ones you kind of already showed willingness to take care of..."
  3079. >He snerks, laughing under his breath and shaking his head slightly.
  3080. >"Why are you so nervous all of a sudden? You literally already said that you had a decade-long dry spell that you need dealt with."
  3081. >Draining the last of his ale, he puts his mug down as you frown slightly, your voice heavy.
  3082. "Because I MEANT it, Anon. I wasn't lying."
  3083. >"Meant what?"
  3084. "That I'm not just after your body. I don't want you to think that I'm in it just for the sex. I want... I want to have someone to come back to after work. Some mares in my position focus on earning bits or becoming the most famous pony ever so hard, they forget that the career is not the goal. It is a tool, a means to an end. I do like being the best, and I serve Equestria happily, but what comes after that? Two possibilities. One is family. The other is dying cold and alone, surrounded by piles of gold and faded posters that no one remembers any more."
  3085. >Anon's eyes are wide at that, and it takes him a minute to recompose himself.
  3086. >Slowly, he reaches a hand towards you as you track the approaching limb with confusion.
  3087. >He gently cups your cheek, caressing it.
  3088. >Your ears fold slightly in embarrassment.
  3089. "Anon, what-"
  3090. >As you were watching his hand, you didn't notice that he was leaning forward, across the table.
  3091. >As such, the sudden kiss on the nose takes you off-guard.
  3092. >"...What?"
  3093. >"You're a wise mare, Spitfire."
  3094. >You're confused, though you feel an odd warmth creeping through you.
  3095. "Um... Thank you?"
  3096. >"Since we're both done with our drinks, shall we go?"
  3097. "Yeah... Alright."
  3098. >You leave the table, still confused.
  3099. >As you exit the pub, Anon puts his hand on your head, gently massaging the bases of your ears.
  3100. "Anon, come on... Not in public," You mutter, flicking your ears.
  3101. >"Oh, right. Sorry. Is that considered... Lewd?"
  3102. >You snigger.
  3103. "No, but it's not something just friends do."
  3104. >He starts walking, scratching his chin thoughtfully.
  3105. >"If you're thinking that that's going to keep the paparazzi away, I don't think it's going to help. At all."
  3106. >You sigh.
  3107. "Yeah, you're right. But I'd still prefer for them to get as few useful photos of me as possible."
  3108. >"Ah, I see. Say, I can understand disliking them, but with you, it almost sounds personal. Did they ever catch you in some embarrassing situation or something?"
  3109. >You cough, looking away.
  3110. "They might have managed to take a photo or two of me wrapped around a colt in a rather... Salacious pose when I was younger and hadn't learned just how shameless those freaks were."
  3111. >"I see. That must have been quite the first experience. How salacious are we talking?"
  3112. "...If the angle was a little bit different, they probably wouldn't have been allowed to print it."
  3113. >"Wow. And they plastered it all over every single newspaper? How is that national news?"
  3114. "Not every, and it wasn't, especially since I wasn't even Captain back then. But, I was a rising star, and a Wonderbolt. The newspapers ran their course in a couple of days, of course, but the teasing and annoyance from my teammates and other ponies lasted for months, not to mention the same buzzards following me everywhere in hopes of getting more photos."
  3115. >He shakes his head with a grin before becoming thoughtful.
  3116. >"So why haven't we been jumped by them yet?"
  3117. >You sigh, idly scanning the street from the corners of your eyes.
  3118. "I didn't give them so much as a crumb they could use for years now. They eventually stopped following me everywhere I went. But you're right. It won't be long until word gets out. Might even be as soon as tomorrow."
  3119. >The ponies you're passing by are looking at Anon first and foremost, given his size, but it doesn't take long for them to notice your distinct colors. You see their eyes light up with recognition for a moment before you move on. Yesterday's events might have been somewhat private, but now, you're walking down a packed public street. The rumor mill is certainly going to be spinning fast.
  3120. "I'm so sorry, Anon. I didn't think how this would affect you. Even if we never meet again, they're going to hound you for weeks now."
  3121. >To your surprise, he grins widely.
  3122. >"That's fine. Tell me, Spitfire, what can I tell them? I'm not obliged to actually talk to them at all, am I?"
  3123. "Well, no, not at all, but-"
  3124. >"So it'd be fine if I answered literally everything with "no comment"?"
  3125. "Sure, but they're going to keep harassing you until-"
  3126. >"Can I tell them to shove their cameras up their rears?"
  3127. "Pfffft, hehehe, you CAN, but... No, you know what? Go for it. Just don't actually try to do it for real. As satisfying as it would be, assaulting a "journalist" is still a crime."
  3128. >"I just don't want to say anything that would hurt your reputation by association."
  3129. "There's little you can say to do that, unless you start outright making stuff up about me."
  3130. >"Well, I'd never do something like that."
  3131. >You bump into his side.
  3132. "Good to know. Thanks, Anon."
  3133. >You make the rest of the way to the hotel in silence, both of you lost in your thoughts.
  3134. >Once you reach his room, you sigh, turning towards Anon with a smile.
  3135. "Well, it's been a... Good date, I think? Lots of things got covered, though there's lots more to cover. So... Second date sometime soon? Next week, maybe?"
  3136. >He turns towards you, looking confused.
  3137. >Why are you acting as if you're about to leave?"
  3138. "Huh? Well, the date is over, so... I don't want to monopolize your time or act like some possessive marefriend..."
  3139. >He shrugs.
  3140. >"Spitfire, this is still very strange and new to me, and we have SO many things to talk about, we'd be dating for a year if we only did it every week. Besides, if what you said is right, there's going to be little for me to do soon besides spend time with you. I certainly don't think I'm going to find work anywhere if there's going to be a gaggle of paparazzi following me everywhere."
  3141. "So then...?"
  3142. >"Come in. You paid for this room, after all. Let's talk. We can talk more tomorrow. And have another date, or something. Unless you're busy, of course."
  3143. >You smile widely at that, nuzzling his hand and brushing your side against him as you go inside the room.
  3144. "Thanks, Anon. And no, I have no plans for the rest of the weekend."
  3145. >He snorts, closing the door and immediately assaulting your ears, making you whine a little as you flick them.
  3146. "You seriously can't keep your hands off those, can you?"
  3147. >"Nope. They're just too fluffy and cute. And expressive. Every time you move your ears, it makes me want to grab them."
  3148. >You pin your ears back when he says that, making him grin and do exactly what he said he'd do.
  3149. >You groan.
  3150. "Anon, come on. I've only known you for a couple days, but I already noticed that you're incredibly disciplined for a stallion. Control yourself."
  3151. >He sighs.
  3152. >"Fine."
  3153. >Instead of stopping, though, he just begins slowly petting your mane and neck.
  3154. >You wait for a minute before rolling your eyes and snorting, pressing yourself against him.
  3155. "Fleetfoot was right, huh..." You mutter.
  3156. >"About what?"
  3157. >Damn. You didn't want to say that out loud.
  3158. "About, uh..."
  3159. >You scramble to say something, but you're not sure what. Misdirection in conversations isn't exactly your strong suit. Usually, you just yell so loud in your drill sergeant voice that everyone around you nearly goes deaf.
  3160. >Anon hums, gently grabbing your cheeks with his hands and making you look him in the eye.
  3161. >"Spitfire, can I ask something big from you?"
  3162. "I... Maybe? You're free to ask, of course. I'm not saying yes until I know what it is, though."
  3163. >He nods.
  3164. >"Obviously. Now, Spitfire. Can I ask you to not lie to me?"
  3165. >You bristle a bit, your hackles rising.
  3166. "Anon, I haven't lied to you about anything. All those things I promised you-"
  3167. >"Are true, yes, I believe you. But you were about to lie about something that'd make you feel awkward, weren't you?"
  3168. >You try to look away, but he holds your head firmly.
  3169. >He chuckles.
  3170. >"And there go the ears. Not letting go, though, tempting as it would be. Now, Spitfire... I don't know if you noticed, buuuuut..."
  3171. "What is it, Anon?"
  3172. >"It's a pretty important aspect about me, you see..."
  3173. "Just say it!"
  3174. >"I'm not a pony, Spitfire."
  3175. >You give him a long, blank look.
  3176. >Then you give him a flat look.
  3177. >Then you roll your eyes, while he tries to maintain his poker face and not smirk. He mostly succeeds.
  3178. "What's your point, Anon?"
  3179. >"The point is that I DON'T CARE," He says with surprising firmness. "Come on, Spitfire, we're not some teenagers in high school any more. For one, both of us are adults. I don't care about something stupid you might say or do. Moreover, I am not a pony. I am not from your culture, or your world, and I highly doubt I'll care in the slightest about what might make you feel embarrassed. I do care about getting lied to, though. Even if it's those... "Little white lies." Given how little I understand and know about Equestria, I have no idea what you might be holding back from me. And that makes me nervous, distrustful, and unhappy. And that's not going to make a good relationship."
  3180. >You gape at him for a moment before raising your forelegs and gently removing his hands from your face, still looking him in the eyes.
  3181. "Both ways, then, Anon. No lies from you, either."
  3182. >"Easiest condition in the world. Done. Now spill."
  3183. >You sigh as you dig through your memory for the exact words.
  3184. "Fleetfoot and I had a little discussion back in Cloudsdale. We were trying to figure you out. Or, figure out human men in general, I suppose. We were trying to understand just why you were, ah... So unbelievably amazing and loving in bed. And why we fell for it so hard."
  3185. >He raises his eyebrows a bit.
  3186. >"We? So Fleetfoot...?"
  3187. >You chuckle.
  3188. "Yeah, bet she's giving a ride to her coltfriend right now. Anyway, she said that... You men are probably very starved for love, given how badly your woman-led society treats you, which is why you go full Casanova even for a one-night stand like we had."
  3189. >Anon gives you a long, inscrutable look. The silence goes on long enough to make you nervous, though you use your military discipline and don't let it show.
  3190. >Then he smiles faintly, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you even closer to him.
  3191. >Hugging you, he nuzzles your muzzle with just the tip of his small, little nose.
  3192. >"Fleetfoot's a clever mare, huh? A real philosopher."
  3193. >That makes you puff up a little in pride,
  3194. "Of course she is. Pegasi are easily the top philosophers in all of Equestria. Unicorns might be the engineers and the mad wizards that mess with reality, but pegasi have been known philosophers from the dawn of our civilization."
  3195. >"Makes sense, given your Greek aesthetics."
  3196. "Our what aesthetics?"
  3197.  
  3198. >"Ah, right. Nevermind."
  3199. "Oh no you don't Anon. Remember what you promised just now?"
  3200. >"Hey, I'm not lying. I just don't know how to explain it. I was never all that into fiction about alternate realities and all that."
  3201. "What does that have to do with us having - what was it - creek aesthetics?"
  3202. >"Greek. And, I don't know how much you know about Earth, but you know that there's weird parallels, right? Like, there's a city in one of the countries on Earth called Manhattan, and you have a very similar city called Manehattan. Though that's probably far less odd than the fact Equestrian and English are essentially the same language."
  3203. "Well, I know the general idea of that theory, I think. Literally every possibility exists somewhere out there, right?"
  3204. >"Yeah, and it seems that our "possibilities" haven't diverged all that far from each other, at least in some aspects."
  3205. "And this "greek" thing?"
  3206. >"Well, I saw pictures of your cloud cities. Big columns, open spaces, coliseums, and so on. That sound about right?"
  3207. >You shrug.
  3208. "More or less, yeah."
  3209. >"Well, there's a country - back in the day, it was more of a region with a bunch of independent city states, I think? It's called Greece, And it probably had the most well-known philosophers in the entire world. There's some famous ones in most countries, of course, but Greece seemed to be popping them out by the dozen. And they had the same aesthetics as pegasi - marble columns, impressive architecture, and so on. And they also had myths about pegasi. Or, rather the singular pegasus, I think."
  3210. "Huh. Okay. Weird. That's not really my wheelhouse either, though. You'd need to find a unicorn that's interested in the field if you want to know more about all this parallel reality stuff, and even then, all you might get is a bunch of arcane gibberish as an explanation."
  3211. >"Yeah, I figured that might be the case. Speaking of, though, that does remind me of something. Do you know who, how, or why discovered how to reach Earth? I watched some quickly thrown-together documentaries, but that tidbit seemed to be glossed over."
  3212. "It's the same over here, actually. If it was some government funded professor or project, there would be names and scientific awards all over the place. But no, all the announcements could be boiled down to "A fascinating discovery has been made". No mention by who, though, which gives a pretty good clue as to what kind of pony did it."
  3213. >He tilts his head.
  3214. >"It does?"
  3215. >You snicker.
  3216. "Yeah. Some mad unicorn wizard locked up in their tower and messing with things that shouldn't be messed with. Though these days, they're just as often sitting in their basements, or something. And, of course, most of them don't really end up actually achieving anything, much less poking holes into other universes. I'm guessing the Princesses quickly swept it all up and put the mare that did it under watch, though they clearly saw the potential since they decided to keep the portal open. The mare's either working in some hidden lab under close scrutiny, or they paid her off to keep quiet and quit messing with portals."
  3217. >"Oh. Huh. Well, that's one thing we don't have on Earth."
  3218. "Crazy wizards?"
  3219. >"Yeah. No magic. There is a "mad scientist" archetype, but that's almost entirely fictional. We had maybe... One or two of those. Tesla comes to mind, but even he only invented stuff that followed the laws of physics. Does that make you worried at all?"
  3220. "What, unicorns messing with the fabric of reality?"
  3221. >"Yeah."
  3222. >You purse your lips.
  3223. "Maybe? A famous pegasus philosopher once said: "If the world is ended by ponies, it will not be dome by some doomsday cultist madmare. No, it will be done by a lazy unicorn that was looking for an easy shortcut she shouldn't have been, with magic she shouldn't have touched." Just... Don't tell that to unicorns. They tend to get a bit prickly about that one, heh."
  3224. >"Hahahah! Oh, wow. Okay. A little bit of prejudiced against unicorns, huh?"
  3225. >You frown a little.
  3226. "Hey, I'm not a tribalist! I'm just saying things how they are! That philosopher was right! When pegasi or earth ponies turn evil, at least they do it like normal ponies. They pay mercenaries, run criminal gangs, or something along those lines. When unicorns do it, it's always mind control. monsters, undead. dark magic, and all sorts of other nonsense."
  3227. >"Wow. Okay. Yeah... Hm."
  3228. >You wait for a bit for him to say something, but he remains quiet.
  3229. >Even his stroking of your mane slows down.
  3230. >You raise your eyebrows.
  3231. "What are you thinking so hard about?"
  3232. >He blinks, turning to look at you.
  3233. >"Oh, nothing. Magic and stuff. Just reminds me of something someone back home said. We don't have any magic on Earth, but we humans have pretty good imaginations, you know? There's dozens, if not hundreds of various magical "systems" thought up by people. For games, books, and so on. On the surface, the magic in Equestria looks incredibly useful. Weather control, incredible agricultural yields... But there's bad sides, too. Yet another illusion of utopia shattered, I guess."
  3234. >You shrug.
  3235. "And what was it that someone said?"
  3236. >"Magic is all fun fairy dust and sparkles until the Eldritch Gods start waking up."
  3237. "Not sure what those are. I don't think we have those in Equestria."
  3238. >He nods slowly.
  3239. >"I... Really hope you don't."
  3240. >You're not sure what to say to that, so you just snuggle in closer to him.
  3241. >He resumes stroking you, his hands slowly wandering down from your neck towards your back.
  3242. >You grin as he reaches the bases of your wings and digs in with his fingers.
  3243. >Crooning softly in pleasure, you nuzzle his neck.
  3244. >"My god that is a cute sound," He breathes quietly.
  3245. >You stop immediately, raising your muzzle up and glaring at him,
  3246. >"Awww."
  3247. >You scoff.
  3248. "Anon. Stop calling me cute. Mares are not cute."
  3249. >"Spitfire. Stop telling me to be soft. Men are not stallions."
  3250. >A small sigh escapes you.
  3251. "You're still male, though."
  3252. >"Yeah? And?"
  3253. "And what? It applies to all species, across the whole world, Anon. Griffons, dragons, ponies..."
  3254. >"This world, maybe. Not mine."
  3255. "We just had this discussion. You didn't do all that well."
  3256. >"Society is more complicated than a few examples, correct as they may be."
  3257. >You open your mouth, but stop when you really begin to think.
  3258. >If a visitor came to Canterlot and saw the guards but nothing else, they might well think that the stallions really are the tough, aggressive gender.
  3259. >You grimace.
  3260. "Alright, look. Let's shelve this for now, alright? Explaining the subtle differences between entire worlds could take years, and it's not relevant right now. First of all, you're in Equestria, not Earth. I'm not asking you to flip your behavior upside down. Just... Relax a little. Secondly... It's pretty clear that we have entirely different sets of cultural baggage. Let's just figure out how we're going to deal with each other, personally. Okay?"
  3261. >He lets out a long breath.
  3262. >"Fair. I did have some questions and concerns about your behavior."
  3263. "...Go on."
  3264. >His eyes gain an amused glint.
  3265. >"Remember what you told me yesterday when we were in the bathroom?"
  3266. "...What specifically?"
  3267. >He smirks openly now.
  3268. >"The thing you made me say about my balls when you thought... What was it? That I was "dismissive of my male assets". And then said you'd yell at me to say it if I didn't."
  3269. >You squirm a little awkwardly.
  3270. "S-so? What's wrong with that? I was just boosting your self-confidence. It looked like you didn't have low self-esteem, you had none."
  3271. >Your voice gains more confidence as you push on.
  3272. "Same thing today. You laughed and said that your body is "nothing special". Arrogance is bad, but complete lack of self-confidence is too."
  3273. >He shakes his head.
  3274. >"Spitfire, you ponies are clearly just into different things. No one on Earth sees balls... Well, in that way."
  3275. >You scoff.
  3276. "That just means they all suck and have zero taste. Again, you're in Equestria. If you don't appreciate your balls, well... I'll just have to show them some extra appreciation. A lot. And often."
  3277. >He snorts and laughs, shaking his head.
  3278. >"Anyway, what you said actually matters little. It's the way you did it, and said you'd do."
  3279. "What?"
  3280. >"Were you really going to shout at me? The full drill sergeant routine?"
  3281. >Your ears fold a little as you grin awkwardly.
  3282. "Uhh... Maybe?"
  3283. >"Right. Is yelling at your "stallion" if he doesn't do something silly acceptable in Equestrian relationships?"
  3284. >You look away.
  3285. "No..."
  3286. >"Well, we certainly weren't in a relationship back then yet, but that's still a point of concern for me. From what I heard about drill sergeants, they're actually the most chill and relaxed people imaginable when they get home. Because the whole "absolute hardass" act is just that: an act. To break recruits down and build them up. Get them used to stress. If someone is ACTUALLY that way... Well, I think the relationship would be tumultuous, to say the least. Since you're the captain of a super intense team, I'm assuming you had to work a LOT to reach the top, and since you said you didn't have any companionship in a long time, I'm guessing all you did was work. So... Are you that married to your work, or is there still a mare underneath the Captain of the Wonderbolts?"
  3287. >You slowly shake your head, though your expression is still a bit sour.
  3288. "I'm... Not really that way, but..."
  3289. >"Buuut?"
  3290. >You sigh.
  3291. "The stress has been getting to me. Fleetfoot brought it up. I was turning into a real cunt, bit by bit. It was happening so slowly that I haven't noticed, I suppose. I'll try to keep that side of me locked up when we're together. But, it might leak out now and then, and it could take me... Some time to unwind."
  3292. >You wince a little as you say it.
  3293. >That sounds like an incredibly feeble excuse to justify being an abusive cunt to your stallion.
  3294. >Anon, though, nods and digs into your back with his fingers without missing a beat, making you gasp softly.
  3295. "You're... Okay with that?"
  3296. >"Sure. I had some bad habits back home. It's not the same, but I know that changing your behavior takes time. But changing it is entirely possible, if you're actually putting in the effort, and not making excuses for it."
  3297. >Now you're curious.
  3298. "...Can you tell me what your bad habits were?"
  3299. >He sighs with a small smile.
  3300. >"It's nothing. Stupid stuff. Like getting a bit too addicted to some dumb mobile games."
  3301. "Mobile... Games?"
  3302. >"Right, what's the easiest explanation... Well, you remember my phone? I told you that you can connect with pretty much everyone on the entire planet that also has a phone, right? Well, as well as communication, that capability was eventually used for entertainment, as well. You could, say... Play chess with someone on the other side of the entire world, with no delay. But that's a simple game. Some people made really complex ones, that... Never really ended. You could play for years and years. And they'd be fun at first, but then, they would draw you in, and consume incredible amounts of time, and you had to have your phone in your hand almost always, or risk getting destroyed."
  3303. >You curl your lip a bit at that.
  3304. "It sounds like some messed up psychologists made those games to mess with people."
  3305. >He laughs.
  3306. >"That's entirely true, actually! There's no small amount of psychological manipulation put into those games. Anyway, what happened was, even when I quit, I still had the nervous urge to grab the phone and check what was happening for MONTHS afterwards. I know that addiction and your situation are not the same, but it's still essentially about changing behavioral patterns that you've been doing for years."
  3307. >You smile gratefully.
  3308. "Yeah. Okay. Thanks for trusting me, Anon."
  3309. >"Don't mention it. As long as you're really going to learn to disassociate work and time off."
  3310. >You nod, nuzzling his neck again.
  3311. "I will. I promise. And if I ever yell at you, I promise I'm going to make it up to you. Somehow."
  3312. >"Works for me."
  3313. >You can't help but smell him when you're so close, your nostrils flaring.
  3314. >Looking down from his naked neck towards his chest through lidded eyes, you see the several layers of clothes that he's wearing all at once.
  3315. >You slowly nose them aside, sticking your muzzle under his garments.
  3316. >"What are you...?"
  3317. >You take a deep, deep breath, his exotic masculine scent absolutely flooding your senses and sending a faint shiver down your spine.
  3318. >You can't help but take a tiny lick of his bare skin before stopping yourself.
  3319. "That's the stuff..."
  3320. >He chuckles and continues rubbing your back.
  3321. >"Right, the scent thing. Forgot about that."
  3322. "Does that freak you out?" You mutter under his clothes.
  3323. >"No. It's unusual, but it's not bad in any way. Does my touch freak you out?"
  3324. "No. It's weird, but it feels amazing."
  3325. >You and him stay like that for a while, him exploring your body with his grabbers while you huff his scent like a druggie huffs breezie powder.
  3326. >It's an odd experience.
  3327. >You always assumed that cuddling would be incredibly boring.
  3328. >You're a super athlete and a captain, and you always have things to do and places to be.
  3329. >You don't roll out of bed in the morning, you leap into action.
  3330. >But this...
  3331. >This is nice.
  3332. >Your thoughts still wander, but without stress or urgency.
  3333. >Eventually, they wander back to Anon, and you pull your muzzle out from under his clothes as you furrow your brows thoughtfully.
  3334. >"Anon, do you have military friends? Family?"
  3335. >"Not really, no. Why?"
  3336. "Huh. But you seemed to know a lot about drill sergeants, for a civilian."
  3337. >"Heh. That's the power of the Internet for you. When everyone is connected to the same information network, previously relatively obscure things can be learned about in a matter of seconds. There's all kinds of videos and stuff where people with professions that most people are usually unaware of talk about their jobs. Everything from exotic animal handlers to tunnellers and sewer workers. And military people, too."
  3338. "So you know the whole drill sergeant routine?"
  3339. >"More or less, at least for humans. You can yell a lot, just about everything and anything under the Sun, but you can't involve physical punishment - ah, you can't just beat recruits up, that is. Loads of physical punishment like making them run around until they puke, though I heard there's limits for that, too."
  3340. >You blink is surprise. He's practically paraphrasing the entire drill sergeant manual you read back in the day. That "Internet" thing is really something.
  3341. >You shake your head.
  3342. "Cheater."
  3343. >He grins.
  3344. >"Yup. I know all your secret drill sergeant lore."
  3345. "Good thing I'm a captain, then. Though I do yell at recruits now and then."
  3346. >"Heh."
  3347. "Shush."
  3348. >He keeps fondling you for a while, but time eventually catches up with you. You feel the urge to yawn, suppressing it, but raising your head to look around.
  3349. >You find the clock hung on the wall. It's hardly late, but your body is used to a disciplined sleeping pattern.
  3350. >Nuzzling Anon's neck again, you gently remove his hands from your body.
  3351. >"Need to use the bathroom?"
  3352. "Yeah, though I was also thinking about going to sleep. We got a LOT of talking done today. Might as well sleep on it and let it settle in our heads. I'm sure we'll think of more things to talk about tomorrow."
  3353. >"Yeah, that's fair."
  3354. >You go in the bathroom, doing your business before looking yourself over in the mirror.
  3355. >It was at that moment that you realize you should have brought a toothbrush.
  3356. "Dang it."
  3357. >A winning smile is important for a pony in your position.
  3358. >Well, your teeth probably won't fall out in one night.
  3359. >As you trot out, Anon looks a bit surprised.
  3360. >"You're not going to bathe? Shower?"
  3361. >You shrug.
  3362. "Not really. Sure, I flew to Cloudsdale and back, but that's hardly a big exertion for me. I didn't even get sweaty. And drying out my coat takes forever. It's hard for pegasi to get wet, but if you do, then it's hard to dry."
  3363. >"Just out of curiosity, how often do ponies bathe? Or, you know, wash up, in general?"
  3364. "Uh, every few days, I guess? Depending on the work, of course. Anything dirty or sweaty, and they shower or bathe every day, or several times per day, if it's necessary."
  3365. >"Huh. Makes sense, with the fur. Like I don't wash my hair every day," Anon mutters, digging through his backpack.
  3366. "Do humans bathe every day?"
  3367. >"Usually. Some don't. They stink."
  3368. >You nod, walking towards the bed before you notice him pulling something from his pack.
  3369. "Go on, then. I'll- hold on. Could I..."
  3370. >"Yeah?"
  3371. "Could I borrow your toothbrush?"
  3372. >He looks at the thing he's holding in his hand before chuckling and shoving his hand in his backpack again, pulling out an unopened one.
  3373. >"Here. Fresh and unused."
  3374. >You smile.
  3375. "Thanks, Anon. Though, you know, we already made out before. That's not so different from sharing a toothbrush, right?"
  3376. >He scratches his head.
  3377. >"I know it's technically much "worse" to kiss in terms of bacteria, but sharing a toothbrush still feels really weird."
  3378. "Heh. I know. Thanks, Anon."
  3379. >You grab the package, ripping it open with your teeth.
  3380. >Huh. Even human toothbrushes look exotic.
  3381. >He puts the wrapping away while you go back to the bathroom.
  3382. >Once you're done brushing, you leave and pass by Anon, who has stripped down to his underwear.
  3383. >You make sure to brush your side against him, observing his reaction.
  3384. >He smiles, leaning into you and tweaking your ears for a moment.
  3385. >It's funny just how much he likes feeling your coat on his skin, but you certainly don't mind having such an easy way to make him happy.
  3386. >You turn off the lights as he washes, tightly closing the curtains.
  3387. >As you trot towards the bed, in the faint light spilling through the gaps in the bathroom door, you notice your saddlebag.
  3388. >Right. The socks.
  3389. >Damn it.
  3390. >Should you...?
  3391. >That'd probably seriously undermine your promise that you're not just after Anon's body.
  3392. >Best get to bed and try to fall asleep quickly.
  3393. >You try to do exactly that, snuggling in and making sure to leave a large spot for Anon.
  3394. >You don't fall asleep nearly fast enough, though, still feeling fully awake as you smell the faint scent of Anon's musk coming from the bedding.
  3395. >Soon enough, Anon finishes showering, stopping for a moment when he opens the door.
  3396. >His steps are eerily quiet, his hoofless legs practically making no noise.
  3397. >He slips under the covers, wriggling closer towards you and gently putting his hands on you.
  3398. >You smile faintly in the dark, draping your tail on his legs and nuzzling one of his hands before holding it to your chest.
  3399. >He doesn't stop moving, though, the other hand trailing downwards as he gently rubs your belly, one of his fingers poking into your bellybutton.
  3400. >Your tail twitches, and you immediately clamp down on your internal muscles so you don't accidentally send the wrong signal.
  3401. "Anon?" You whisper.
  3402. >"Hmm, yeah?" He whispers back, nuzzling the back of your mane with his face.
  3403. "I didn't think... I wasn't..."
  3404. >He stops his movements, tensing up.
  3405. >"Oh, I'm sorry. Are you not... In the mood?"
  3406. >You cough quietly.
  3407. "I'm... Trying not to be."
  3408. >You can hear the immense confusion in his voice.
  3409. >"Why?"
  3410. "I don't want to... Give off the wrong impression."
  3411. >He pauses to think.
  3412. >"Is this about the whole "I don't want you just for your body" thing?"
  3413. >You breath in relief when he understands.
  3414. "Yeah."
  3415. >Your relief quickly dissipates when his hand goes even lower, ever so gently brushing against your teats and massaging one.
  3416. >"It's okay."
  3417. "W-wha- Anon, you don't have to-"
  3418. >He frees the hand you were holding against your chest, gently grabbing your muzzle and shutting you up.
  3419. >"Shhh. It's okay. I trust you."
  3420. >You pull his hand off, frowning.
  3421. "What's that supposed to mean?"
  3422. >"You heard me. I believe you when you say that you're not just after my body. So now that it's okay, we can now have mindblowing sex."
  3423. >You snort, your body shaking with laughter.
  3424. "Anon, I don't think that's how that works."
  3425. >"Yes it does, especially seeing as we had sex already."
  3426. "Yeah, and now I want to prove to you that I didn't come back to you just for that."
  3427. >"Like I already said, it's okay. You proved it. I trust you."
  3428. "I didn't prove anything yet."
  3429. >"Weren't you super-mega-ultra pent up? Surely yesterday's... What euphemism would a pony use? Roll in the hay? Surely yesterday's roll in the hay wasn't enough to satisfy you."
  3430. >You bite your lip as Anon keeps talking about sex, using all your training and discipline to wrench your mind away from it.
  3431. >It almost works. Almost.
  3432. "Anon, come on. Cut it out."
  3433. >"Hmmm... Remember all that stuff you told me? About how I should be more confident about my body, and accept that if I live in Equestria, I should adapt to its customs?"
  3434. >You tilt your head at the seeming non-sequitur.
  3435. "Yeah?"
  3436. >"Well, if I feel more confident about my body, then I shouldn't be so surprised if mares consider me attractive?"
  3437. "...Yes? Where are you going with this?"
  3438. >"So if I'm attractive, does that mean I should be able to seduce mares?"
  3439. "..."
  3440. >For some reason, you feel like you fell into some kind of trap. Meanwhile, Anon keeps going, and you can hear the smile in his voice.
  3441. >"I don't know about you, Spitfire, but while I was cuddling with you, the situation... A supremely beautiful, majestic, and butt-naked pegasus rubbing up against me while sitting in my lap... Well. The mind wanders, you know? To various places, such as the wild, wild ride you had while bouncing on my dick yesterday. Or when I was humping you, and you almost melted from pleasure. Gave me that little love nibble."
  3442. >He moves his mouth close to your ears, whispering hotly into them while still rubbing your body in various places.
  3443. >All you can do is grit your teeth and remain still, though a faint whine escapes your throat as he tweaks your teats before moving his hand to gently tug on your tail.
  3444. >"So yes, I spent several hours in low-grade arousal. I did my best to ignore it, though, expecting that we'd have a fun time before going to bed. Did you ever go through something like that? When you're mildly aroused for hours, and then you finally get some alone time and rub out the best nut of your life?"
  3445. >His euphemisms are a bit strange, but there's certainly no room for misinterpretation of just exactly what he means.
  3446. >"Now, let me tell you, I'm seriously backed up, and quite surprised by this turn of events. My balls... You know, those lovely, suckable orbs you seem to like so much... Are absolutely loaded with cum..."
  3447. >You whine and groan, hissing and rolling over to face him.
  3448. "Seriously, Anon? When did you turn into- into- Gah! You didn't even believe me when I said I wanted to sleep with you at first! You were completely clueless, no matter what signals I sent you!"
  3449. >"Spitfire, I'm not even remotely clueless about these things, or naive, or dumb. The only reason I didn't catch on was because I just didn't see mares that way, and because I obviously can't read your pony signals. With the little paradigm shift I experienced..."
  3450. "But why are you so eager when I keep telling you-"
  3451. >He suddenly snakes his hands behind your back, yanking you towards himself and pressing you strongly against his body.
  3452. >His mouth finds yours, and though neither one of you know how to kiss each other effectively, he still goes for it with ridiculous enthusiasm, you reciprocating with a whimper.
  3453. >He pulls off when he starts running out of breath, taking in great, big gulps of air.
  3454. >"You did say you want to prove something. But before that, you ALSO said that you were so frustrated, it was driving you up a wall. And, just so you know, I wasn't exactly swimming in female companionship myself, before I met you. Now, I am going to tell you one last time."
  3455. >He puts your heads together, the shine of his eyes barely visible in the darkness.
  3456. >Kissing you on the nose, he continues.
  3457. >"I trust you, Spitfire. I trust your intentions towards me. But if you really want to, then I'm going to let go and not bother you for the rest of the night."
  3458. "Really? You were just saying how backed up you were..."
  3459. >He shrugs.
  3460. >"I'll go to the bathroom and rub one out. I'll live."
  3461. >You go a little slackjawed at the thought of Anon in the bathroom, taking care of his needs and then flushing his seed down the drain, while your needy, soaked cunt that is thirsty for stallion cum is RIGHT THERE.
  3462. >Wait, soaked?
  3463. >You curse inwardly when you realize you completely lost the battle to not think horny thoughts.
  3464. >Anon is completely and absolutely right. You ARE in need. Badly. That ride yesterday was absolutely bucking amazing, but in the end, it only broke down the dam. And now, the waters were flooding.
  3465. >Figuratively and literally.
  3466. >You growl.
  3467. "Alright, buck this stupid challenge. Come here, stud. You want to move this relationship along at an accelerated pace? You want speed? I can do speed."
  3468. >"We literally already had se-"
  3469. >This time, you're the one who shuts him up with a kiss.
  3470.  
  3471. >Once it's over, there's a moment of hesitation while you remember the trouble of finding the right position.
  3472. >Should you climb on top of him and ride him?
  3473. >Or let him pound you dolphin style again?
  3474. >Anon certainly seems to have ideas of his own, groping you with his hands as he moves closer.
  3475. >You snort, not wanting to let him have the upper hoof after he teased you like that, getting into a very awkward wrestling match.
  3476. >You both snort and giggle as you rub up against each other, you trying to tickle him with your wings while he pokes and prods your sensitive spots with his fingers.
  3477. >Since you were both under the blanket, it takes only a few moments for both of you to get hopelessly tangled up.
  3478. >"Alright, alright, cut it out. I don't want to shred the blanket by accident."
  3479. "You started this, smartflank."
  3480. >You can hear the grin in his voice as he leans his head closer to you.
  3481. >"And I'm going to finish it. Or, rather, make sure you finish. Hard."
  3482. >You snicker at that.
  3483. "Alright, your first attempt was pretty good, but your dirty talk could still use some work, Anon."
  3484. >He chuckles as he slowly disentangles himself, you doing the same.
  3485. >The blanket gets pushed to the side, the warmth certainly not needed for what's about to come.
  3486. >"Noted. Now, could you... Would you mind if I... Tried something?"
  3487. >Interesting.
  3488. "Go on..."
  3489. >"Could you... Turn around? Please?"
  3490. "What, like..."
  3491. >"Like we were before. Lie down on your side, with your back to me."
  3492. "Hm. Alright..."
  3493. >You shift as you turn your back to him, wondering what he's planning.
  3494. >He shuffles closer, wrapping his arms around you again.
  3495. >He keeps going this time, though, pressing your entire body against his, rubbing his face into your mane as he runs his hands across your belly, going lower and lower.
  3496. >You let out a gasp as he envelops your cunt with those soft fingers of his, pressing into your lips with impressive strength.
  3497. >You whimper and wink, pressing against his hand.
  3498. >He keeps moving, though, bending his legs at an angle, same way your hindlegs are positioned.
  3499. "So what are you...?"
  3500. >"Uh, well, we went at it yesterday the human way, and I was kind of curious to do it the way you ponies do... I'm still too tall for that "mounting" thing, but..."
  3501. "But?"
  3502. >"Well, I think this should work, even if we're sideways instead of standing up."
  3503. >You soon see what he means. It's almost like he's mounting you, the way your back is pressed against him.
  3504. >It's not the best position, given that you don't really feel like you'd be able to move much while lying down, if at all. Still, you're willing to give it a shot.
  3505. "Alright then. Looks like you're going to be doing all the work here, though."
  3506. >"I know. It's a bit awkward, but..."
  3507. >You feel him shuffle a bit more before he gently grasps your dock with his fingers, rubbing the base of your tail and making it twitch reflexively.
  3508. >Right, of course. Silly you.
  3509. >You move your tail aside, inviting him in.
  3510. >Almost immediately after that, you feel his hard stallionhood poking around your nethers as he shuffles closer.
  3511. >You let out a shaky breath, arching your back and pressing against him even harder.
  3512. >He spreads your lower lips with his fingers, the tip poking into you.
  3513. >Your body screams at you to do something to ram it deep inside, but there's really no way for you to move.
  3514. >Fortunately, Anon is certainly not a timid stallion in bed, despite his initial shy and awkward behavior.
  3515. >With a pleased sigh, he pushes into you, and keeps pushing until you feel his balls slap against your rear with a faint smack.
  3516. "Mmmf..."
  3517. >"Everything alright?"
  3518. "Yeah, it's good. You know I like it hard, though."
  3519. >"Well, it's a bit complicated, but I'll do my best."
  3520. >He starts thrusting. Long, deep, confident strokes, each one ending with an audible smack as your bodies connect.
  3521. >You start panting, clenching and unclenching your muscles.
  3522. >Overall, it looks like Anon's idea isn't half bad. It's not perfect, though.
  3523. >The part of your brain that thinks you're being mounted for real demands you straighten out your legs and keep them firm, to keep the weight of the stallion on your back.
  3524. >Which doesn't do much while you're lying on your side, of course.
  3525. >You end up stretching your legs back and forth a few times before pulling them in instead, grabbing one of Anon's hands with your forelegs and pressing it against your muzzle.
  3526. >You aggressively lick and nibble on it as he keeps using the other hand to press into your marehood, rubbing your lower lips back and forth as he uses his exotic dick to give your deepest spots an intense massage.
  3527. "Ah... Mmm..."
  3528. >You flex your inner muscles as he connects with you, making him grunt and briefly lose his rhythm.
  3529. >"F-fffuuuck..."
  3530. "Y-you - ah - like that, ah-non?"
  3531. >"Of course. Your, mmmmff... Your pony pussy is unreal."
  3532. "Mmm, no, stud, your big, exotic human dick is - neigh!"
  3533. >You whinny faintly as you wink fiercely around his stallionhood, feeling yourself getting close, your muscles tensing up.
  3534. >"Just... relax..."
  3535. >It's not exactly easy to do, but you do your best to unclench as much as possible, allowing him the easiest passage you can.
  3536. >He picks up the pace, hammering into you with short thrusts as you whine and whinny into his hand.
  3537. >Panting like you just flew a marathon, you eagerly await the fireworks as you feel yourself creep closer and closer to that wonderful edge, until you finally fly over it.
  3538. "MMMMrrrrrffff...."
  3539. >Anon slams into you as deep as he can, his hot breath washing over your ears as you hear him groan.
  3540. >You muzzle yourself with Anon's hand as you cum, riding out the sweet sensation as long as you can, clenching around that wonderful, rock-hard member of his.
  3541. >You notice that he keeps ever so slowly thrusting into you, though, you oversensitive marehood crying out in pleasure mixed with slight discomfort.
  3542. >It goes on for a good minute before you finally speak up, having caught your breath a bit.
  3543. "You alright, Anon? Did I not... Make you cum? You can keep going, you know. Come on, don't hold back on my regard. I can take it."
  3544. >He sighs as he experimentally nibbles on one of your ears, making you flick it.
  3545. >"No, I'm good. I was just... Enjoying the feeling. It's wonderful. Being... United like this."
  3546. >You flex your marehood again, feeling him respond by throbbing inside you, still hard. It's a bit unusual. Stallions tend to go soft pretty quickly once they finish.
  3547. "You really like being inside me, huh?"
  3548. >"Sorry. Should I pull out?"
  3549. "Mmm, no way, stud. We can sleep like this, for all I care."
  3550. >He sniggers.
  3551. >"Don't think that's possible. But I'd like to stay like this. Just for a few minutes."
  3552. "No objections here."
  3553. >"Thanks, Spitfire."
  3554. >You sigh.
  3555. >You're pretty sure he's going to play it down again, but you go ahead and compliment him anyway.
  3556. "No, Anon, thank YOU. You're honestly amazing in bed, you know that?"
  3557. >"If you say so. I'm still learning. As much as I've been touching you all over, I'm sure there's plenty more for me to learn about how to make a sexy pegasus feel good."
  3558. >You smile at that.
  3559. "Careful, stud, you might melt my brain if you get any better than this."
  3560. >He scoffs.
  3561. >"We'll see."
  3562. >The hand that was resting on your marehood moves, playing with your folds and exploring.
  3563. >There's not much space for him to explore, seeing as he's still inside you, but the critical point is entirely within reach.
  3564. >You breathe in sharply as he explores the spot where your clitoris is hidden, slowly discovering how to pull back the clitoral hood and assault the sensitive nub with his hands.
  3565. "Ah! Buck, Anon!"
  3566. >"So that's where it is. That's what does that thing where you flex your pussy. What do you call it?"
  3567. "W-winking...."
  3568. >"Winking, huh..."
  3569. >You writhe against him as he tweaks, squeezes and pinches your clit in ways you never experienced before.
  3570. >You're pretty sure none of those motions are possible even with a mouth, let alone a hoof.
  3571. >You whine quietly, almost feeling like cumming again.
  3572. "Anooonn..."
  3573. >"Sorry."
  3574. >He kisses your ear in apology, finally letting go of your sensitive clit and slowly pulling out, leaving your insides feeling disappointingly empty.
  3575. "Buck me... Still learning, huh?"
  3576. >"Yeah. And that was an interesting trick I just learned. I'll have to remember that one."
  3577. >You can hear the grin in his voice.
  3578. "...You can practice it more tomorrow. And maybe I can learn a thing or two about you, too."
  3579. >"We'll see. Let's go clean up, yeah?"
  3580. "Alright."
  3581. >You try to get up, but instead, Anon scoops you up in his arms, carrying you to the bathroom.
  3582. >It's easy to tell that it's not quite effortless for him to pick you up like that, but you don't say anything.
  3583. >You just nuzzle his cheek, enjoying being close to your stallion.
  3584.  
  3585. >After you get cleaned up, you both go to sleep immediately.
  3586. >Both of you are aware that if you kept up and talked more, your bodies would act up and you'd end up rutting again.
  3587. >Which was not entirely a bad thing, but sleep rhythms are important, and you had a whole day ahead of you anyway.
  3588. >After that little session, your muscles are pleasantly tired, and you fall asleep almost immediately.
  3589. >Wakefulness comes easily to you, though it takes a few more seconds for the important parts of your brain to wake up.
  3590. >Namely, the ones which keep track whether it's a day off or not.
  3591. >Yup, it's Sunday.
  3592. >Work tomorrow, but...
  3593. >A whole day with Anon first.
  3594. >You smile as you hear Anon's breathing nearby, slowly opening your eyes.
  3595. >He's still asleep.
  3596. >When you ponder what to do next, a whole bunch of ideas gallop through your mind.
  3597. >Slink under the covers, nuzzle his balls, huff his scent, stimulate him with a wing until he's hard and brush your teeth with that wonderfully smooth dick of his...
  3598. >Another part of you feels disgusted by those thoughts, though.
  3599. >Frowning a bit, you quash them.
  3600. >He's not a one-night pogo stick like you used to pick up in the past.
  3601. >As willing - no, eager - as he is to take care of your needs, you're going to treat him with respect.
  3602. >Carefully shuffling closer to him, you rest your muzzle against his neck, your breath making him shift slightly.
  3603. >He doesn't wake up, though, and before long, you drift away again.
  3604. >What seems like just a moment later, you wake up again when you feel movement.
  3605. >You don't know if Anon's awake or not, but you drape a wing over him anyway, stretching out your legs and attaching yourself to him.
  3606. >You nuzzle his neck, giving it a small lick as he takes in a breath and rubs his eyes with a hand.
  3607. >"Oh... Morning, Spitfire."
  3608. >You smile as you press your muzzle into his ear.
  3609. "Morning, stud."
  3610. >He snorts as he grabs and twists one of your ears.
  3611. >"You're insatiable, huh?"
  3612. "Whatever do you mean?"
  3613. >"Oh yeah, totally unclear what hot whispers right into my ear could possibly mean."
  3614. >You snigger faintly as you nuzzle against him again.
  3615. "Relax. I'm not *that* needy. I just wanted to thank you for last night. I did have some thoughts, but... We have a whole day ahead of us."
  3616. >"Right. About the whole... "Seducing" you thing."
  3617. >You grin.
  3618. "Yeah, hotstuff? Thinking of doing it again?"
  3619. >"No, I... I'm sorry if... That was probably wrong."
  3620. >You hum thoughtfully.
  3621. >You doubt there's many mares that would have rebuffed his advances, especially ones that went without stallions for as long as you.
  3622. "So if you think that was wrong, why did you do it?"
  3623. >"Well, I thought that it was... The lesser evil, corny as it sounds. It was disrespectful of your wishes, but at the same time, it, well... What you were doing seemed a bit silly, given the circumstances."
  3624. >You consider his words for a few moments before smiling and rolling over on top of him.
  3625. >Nuzzling his face, you give him a gentle kiss on the lips.
  3626. "Well, you were right. I'm not angry at you. It was a bit jarring to get jumped like that when I was trying to show restraint, but I did need it. I just didn't want to treat you like a toycolt, like I said."
  3627. >"That's fair. So can I ask how would you treat me if we never met? How do pony relationships progress from the point of meeting to the point of sex?"
  3628. "Hmmm... Well, the simplified version is: asking the stallion out on a date, dating, dating, dating, awkwardly asking the stallion if he would like to spend the night with some cheesy excuse like "it's really cold outside tonight, you'll get sick if you trot home in this weather", have awkward virgin sex."
  3629. >Anon chuckles, slowly turning into full-blown laughter.
  3630. >"Okay. Alright. Um... Well, that's not too different from how we do it back home. I was expecting some magic, maybe. Or perhaps a dramatic quest to slay an evil dragon or somesuch."
  3631. >You roll your eyes with a grin.
  3632. "You and your silly fairytale expectations, Anon. You really need to drop them."
  3633. >"I know, I know, and I wasn't really serious. Still, you're an entirely different species. I expected at least something different."
  3634. >You shrug.
  3635. "There are differences, of course. The specifics of the courting rituals vary from tribe to tribe. Earth ponies or unicorns don't do courting dances, for example, though that doesn't mean that every pegasus does it, either. Well, I mean, other tribes do dance, but not in the sky."
  3636. >"Oh, that's pretty cool. So you do mating dances like birds?"
  3637. >You smack him lightly with a wing.
  3638. "Not mating dances. Courting dances. We're not animals, we don't rut in public. And don't compare us to birds."
  3639. >He gently pushes your wing away with a curious look.
  3640. >"Was that raci- tribalist?"
  3641. "Going in that direction, yes."
  3642. >"Well, I'm sorry for almost insulting the glorious pegasus tribe."
  3643. >You grin.
  3644. "You're almost forgiven, then."
  3645. >"Smartass."
  3646. "No more than you."
  3647. >Both of you remain silent for a while, just looking into each other's eyes.
  3648. >After a bit, though, Anon's expression becomes thoughtful, and he begins to roll, taking you with him.
  3649. >Moments later, you're pinned beneath his weight.
  3650. >You wonder if this is going the way you're think it's going, before he shifts and rests his head in your chest fluff.
  3651. >He snuggles in, almost like he's going to go back to sleep.
  3652. >"I could get used to this."
  3653. "Hey... I didn't agree to be your pillow for the rest of the day. Come on, I need to use the bathroom."
  3654. >"Aw."
  3655. "We can cuddle afterwards. Or do more... Vigorous things. Neither one of them is pleasant with a full bladder, though."
  3656. >"Alright, alright."
  3657. >He slinks off, and you hop out of bed, going to take care of your morning business.
  3658. >Once you're done and you leave the bathroom you find Anon standing just outside, waiting his turn, fully naked.
  3659. >You can't help but flick your tail between his legs as you pass him by, dragging the entire length of it across his privates.
  3660. >He huffs in surprise, looking at you with wide eyes.
  3661. "What? I couldn't just NOT show your lovely balls some appreciation while you were standing like that, with them hanging right there."
  3662. >He shakes his head.
  3663. >"And you ask me why I wear pants..."
  3664. >You grin as you make your way back to the bed, stretching out.
  3665. >Lazing about is really not something you usually do. After years of conditioning, your body demands at least some physical activity every day.
  3666. >Plenty of time left in the day for that, though.
  3667. >A short while later, Anon exits the bathroom, walking towards the windows with a yawn.
  3668. >He opens the curtains, taking in the view with a smile.
  3669. >"A lot of things I assumed about Equestria were wrong, but Canterlot is still nuts. I don't think there's a single human that would get the idea of building a city on such a sheer mountain. The view is killer, though. And the... Huh. Lots of pegasi flying about today."
  3670. "Could be making a rainy day, though... Hm, I don't entirely remember Canterlot's weather schedule, but there's usually reminders about that on hotel doors for visitors from out of town, and I didn't see any..."
  3671. >Mildly curious, you slide out of bed, coming over to Anon.
  3672. >You brush up against him, his left hand finding your head and scratching your mane without him even looking at you.
  3673. >You observe the pegasi, your experienced eye studying their flight patterns.
  3674. >It almost seems like they're... Circling the hotel?
  3675. >And scanning the windows?
  3676. >A faint fire starts burning in your gut as you frown.
  3677. "Anon..."
  3678. >A pegasus notices you, doing a full one-eighty and pulling something from a saddlebag.
  3679. >"Yeah?"
  3680. >The sun is almost behind them, so you can't entirely see, but you're pretty damned sure you know what that object is.
  3681. "CLOSE THE CURTAINS, NOW!"
  3682. >You bellow in your drill sergeant's voice, his hands hesitating for a moment before yanking the curtains back.
  3683. >You can see a faint flash of light from behind the curtains.
  3684. >Frowning, Anon turns at you.
  3685. >"What the hell was- Oh, wait. Don't tell me."
  3686. >You nod, your expression tight.
  3687. "Yup. The buzzards are here. There goes our day."
  3688. >He scratches his chin before shrugging nonchalantly.
  3689. >"Why? It's not like they can barge into this room, can they?
  3690. "Well, not legally. I'd pound them into paste if they did."
  3691. >"I guess we'll just have to find something to do in here."
  3692. >You growl angrily, fantasizing about flying out into that flock of paparazzi and punching their lights out.
  3693. "We shouldn't *have* to find something to do here."
  3694. >"Hey now, we were planning to spend the day together anyway, right?"
  3695. >He reaches for you, his palm landing between your wings.
  3696. >The tension you're holding releases, your wings springing wide open with your full strength, smacking Anon.
  3697. >You turn towards him, snarling furiously.
  3698. "I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SIT LOCKED UP IN A HOTEL ROOM LIKE SOME PRISONER BECAUSE THERE'S SOME NOSY *SCUM* THAT WANT TO TAKE PICTURES OF WHAT'S NONE OF THEIR CELESTIA-DAMNED BUSINESS!"
  3699. >It takes you a moment to process what you just did.
  3700. >You just yelled at Anon, full volume.
  3701. >You freeze, panic replacing your anger as you heart beats like mad.
  3702. >Anon just gives you a slightly puzzled look, though, before grabbing your muzzle with a hand and holding your mouth shut.
  3703. >To your shock, he then smiles widely.
  3704. >"So, was that one of those angry outbursts you warned me about?"
  3705. >You nod shamefully, looking away from him.
  3706. >He lets go, getting down on his knees before grabbing your head and kissing you full on the lips.
  3707. "What the b-mmmmfff!"
  3708. >You're too shocked to reciprocate.
  3709. >He chuckles as he pulls away, mussing up your mane with one hand and standing up again.
  3710. "Anon, what the buck was that? Don't tell me you get off on getting yelled at."
  3711. >"Hell no. But if that's the worst you can do, well, I'm sure this relationship is going to go swimmingly."
  3712. >You feel conflicted as he says that.
  3713. >You're Spitfire! Captain of the Wonderbolts!
  3714. >Surely getting yelled at by you should have been at least a little bit intimidating, right?
  3715. >You swallow your marely pride, though, flapping your wings and rising into the air to kiss him back.
  3716. "Thanks, Anon."
  3717. >"So, how are you feeling right now?"
  3718. "I want to go out and punch them so very badly."
  3719. >"Right, you need a distraction. How about... Hm, you know, we do need to eat. Should we go out, or stay in the hotel?"
  3720. >You shrug. You do feel hungry. The well strict regime you keep means you usually eat at the same time every day too, and it's well past time for breakfast for you.
  3721. "If we go out in to the hotel's restaurant, they'll probably still bother us there. Might as well order room service."
  3722. >"How do we do that?"
  3723. >You give him a surprised look before trotting over to the door, pointing towards a gem inlaid into the wall.
  3724. "You don't know how the bells work? What with your super advanced technology and all..."
  3725. >He gives you a flat look.
  3726. >"Spitfire, that is not a bell. That is a gem. I thought it was some kind of decoration."
  3727. >You snicker.
  3728. "Well, that's what they're called, since they were what ponies replaced actual pulley and bell systems with. They're enchanted. Press one, and its brother rings somewhere in the staff quarters. Here."
  3729. >You press a hoof against it, and it begins to chime gently.
  3730. "There we go. Someone should arrive shortly."
  3731. >Anon nods before remembering that he is naked and quickly beginning to pull his clothes on, as you look on with mild amusement.
  3732. >Unlike ponies, he's really fast with those things.
  3733. >A few minutes later, there is a knock on the door.
  3734. >"Room service."
  3735. >You open the door, nodding to the uniformed unicorn mare on the other side.
  3736. >Her eyes go a little wide before she is able to rein herself in.
  3737. >"Oh my! You're- Oh, my apologies, Ma'am. How may I help you?"
  3738. "It's fine. I would like some breakfast for myself and my, uh... Companion."
  3739. >She immediately whips out a small notebook with her magic.
  3740. >"Of course, Ma'am. What will it be?"
  3741. >Both you and Anon decide on a set of eggs with various sides.
  3742. >You notice that the mare keeps curiously glancing at Anon even more than at you, but she remains professional.
  3743. >"I'll be back as soon as it's done, Ma'am. Is that all?"
  3744. "Yep, thank you."
  3745. >You sigh as you close the door.
  3746. >Anon immediately makes it to your side, running his hand across your neck.
  3747. >"Come on, Spitfire. This is annoying, but it's not the end of the world."
  3748. "I know, I know. It's still stupid, though. I'm all for press freedom and investigative journalism, but this is most definitely NOT it. Crap like this shouldn't be allowed."
  3749. >"Is it allowed? Surely there's some kind of laws against stalking or harassment? Privacy laws?"
  3750. "Sure, but in this situation, they don't help much. Unless they straight up assault you or break into your home, or you somehow manage to prove that they were looking-"
  3751. >Your explanation is interrupted by a knock on the door.
  3752. >Both you and Anon look at each other in surprise.
  3753. >He frowns.
  3754. >"That was way, way too fast. Are they reheating old food, or something?"
  3755. "Hm... Who's there?"
  3756. >A chipper voice answers.
  3757. >"Room service!"
  3758. >It doesn't sound even remotely like the previous mare.
  3759. >As you're about to open the door, Anon stops you, pulling on your mane with a frown.
  3760. >You look at him in confusion before your eyes go wide, and then narrow angrily.
  3761. >Lowering your voice, you begin whispering.
  3762. "You think...?"
  3763. >He nods, whispering back.
  3764. >"Yup. That's exactly what I'm thinking. Let me see."
  3765. >He stealthily approaches the door, grabbing the handle and opening it by no more than a hair crack before immediately closing it again.
  3766. >You see a flash of light emanate from between the cracks, the distinct sound of a camera going off reaching your ears.
  3767. >"Hey! The negatives cost money, you know!"
  3768. >Anon chuckles.
  3769. >"What an odd thing for a room service pony to say."
  3770. >"Oh, uh..."
  3771. >You're torn between laughing at how Anon figured the mare out, and wrenching the door open and stomping her flat.
  3772. >Naturally, though, she's not done.
  3773. >"My apologies, sir, this is just a misunderstanding! Say, how would a strapping, lovely stallion like you like to be on the front of a newspaper?"
  3774. >"Pass."
  3775. >Your expression slowly keeps growing angrier, but he wags a finger at you, winking with a massive grin.
  3776. >Slowly letting out a breath, you trot over the couch, deciding to sit this one out.
  3777. >Anon is clearly having fun, unlike you, so who are you to ruin it?
  3778. >The mare's voice becomes a little flustered.
  3779. >"Hm? Surely you misunderstood me, sir. You have newspapers in... Humanlands, right? All - well, not all, but a good part - of Equestria could see you! Think of the attention!"
  3780. >"Yup, that's exactly what I'm thinking. Hard pass."
  3781. >"Oh, a shy colt? Well, how about an interview? No pictures needed!"
  3782. >"Even if I believed you weren't lying, double pass."
  3783. >"Come now, some comments at least?"
  3784. >"Bigger pass than a triple heart bypass."
  3785. >There's a moment of audible, confused silence as you try not to laugh.
  3786. >"Uh, I could put it down as an anonymous source?"
  3787. >"Oh, I'm quite happy being Anonymous already. So, no."
  3788.  
  3789. >The mare tries a different tack.
  3790. >"You can't hide in there forever! The public has the right to know!"
  3791. >"Oh, they absolutely do. They have the right to know whatever I tell you. However, I also have the right to remain silent and tell you dick diddly."
  3792. >"Dick wh- Sir, open the door this instant! Barring the way to a member of the press is a serious offence!"
  3793. >Anon briefly glances at you. You shake your head.
  3794. >"Oh, is it? In that case, call the guards on me."
  3795. >"I'm sure there's no need for anything that drastic, if you just stop being so obstinate."
  3796. >"But I like being drastic. I always wanted to go out swinging. So go ahead, call them."
  3797. >"Sir, you're being supremely uncooperative right now!"
  3798. >"You don't say."
  3799. >Her voice instantly changes from stern to honeyed when she finally sees she won't be able to intimidate Anon into opening the door.
  3800. >"Surely there's some way I could convince you?"
  3801. >"Kiss my butt."
  3802. >There's a pause.
  3803. >The answer is much quieter.
  3804. >"That.. Could be arranged..."
  3805. >Both you and Anon grimace in a mixture of disgust and amusement.
  3806. >Anon shakes his head.
  3807. >"Wow. Come on, mare, have some self respect."
  3808. >"What? Surely you must have some pretty nice flanks if you bagged the captain of the Wonderbolts. I wouldn't mind... Appreciating them myself."
  3809. >He snorts.
  3810. >"Don't know what you're talking about."
  3811. >"Come now, sir, half of Canterlot saw you trotting about and making kissy faces at Spitfire yesterday."
  3812. >He frowns in confusion, turning at you.
  3813. >"KIssy faces?" he mouths silently.
  3814. >You shake your head with a small grin.
  3815. >He shrugs and continues on.
  3816. >"Nope. No clue. Say, you don't seem to know much about humans. Are you sure you got the right guy?"
  3817. >You raise an eyebrow at the daring bluff.
  3818. >There's a minute of silence and some faint shuffling sounds.
  3819. >"Well, um... I was fairly certain I got the room right..."
  3820. >Anon says nothing, letting the mare stew in her sudden doubts.
  3821. >Cocking an ear, you hear the sound of hooves approaching, with the tinkling sound of unicorn magic being used.
  3822. >You can only assume that it's the actual room service this time.
  3823. >The mare gets closer, and you hear her clear her throat.
  3824. >"Excuse me, ma'am, you're in my way. Are you lost? That room is occupied, and I do not believe you are one of the occupants."
  3825. >"Oh, no I'm fine. Flashbulb, reporter at your service. I was just asking the occupants some questions."
  3826. >You can almost hear the cocked eyebrow from the unicorn.
  3827. >"Through the door?"
  3828. >"Oh, sure! They told me they're not decent right now, but they'd let me in a few moments later, so hey, if you could open this door for me..."
  3829. >There's a pause before the unicorn knocks on your door.
  3830. >"Pardon me, ma'am, but is this mare bothering you?"
  3831. >The paparazzi squeaks excitedly, aggressively rapping at the door.
  3832. >"Ma'am? So there is a mare in there! Captain Spitfire, what are your comments on- mmmmph!"
  3833. >You grin as you assume the unicorn shut the "reporter" up with her magic.
  3834. >Seeing as the jig is up, you speak up.
  3835. "She is, yes. She has been harassing me and even pretended to be room service in an attempt to gain entry into the room."
  3836. >The unicorn's voice turns icy at that tidbit.
  3837. >"Please stop bothering our guests and leave the premises. Immediately."
  3838. >"Mph- phoo! That's assault! You can't do that to a member of the press! I'll file charges! I have the right to be anywhere in public and ask questions and take all the pictures that I want!"
  3839. >"Ma'am, this is a hotel. A privately owned business in a private property on private land. While our doors are open, they are so for paying guests, not loiterers and lowlifes. Now, you have ten seconds to scram before I call the porters on you. They like lugging around heavy weights, but with how careful and delicate they have to be, I'm sure they'll delight in a chance to be a little rough for once."
  3840. >"You can't-"
  3841. >"Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five-"
  3842. >"Fine! I won't forget this, though! Expect articles exposing your harassment of the press!"
  3843. >"I look forward to the free publicity."
  3844. >"Gah!"
  3845. >You hear a flap of wings, and the sound of air being displaced.
  3846. >There's another knock on the door.
  3847. >"She is gone, ma'am. May I enter?"
  3848. >You chuckle as Anon opens the door.
  3849. >The unicorn is there, her uniform a little out of place and her mane frazzled from the explosive exit of the paparazzi.
  3850. >She managed to keep the food from falling out of the plates, though, which is impressive.
  3851. >You go dig through your saddlebag while Anon takes the plates.
  3852. >"That was awesome."
  3853. >He fixes her hat, almost going for her ears before stopping himself.
  3854. >"Sorry."
  3855. >The mare giggles, folding her ears and blushing faintly.
  3856. >"Oh, it's fine, sir."
  3857. >You trot over, deftly tossing her a large coin with a wing, which she just as swiftly catches with her magic and hides in a pocket.
  3858. "Outstanding service, kiddo."
  3859. >She perks up.
  3860. >"Thank you, ma'am! I'm not sure if my supervisor will approve of just how direct I was when I tell her about this, but it felt like the right thing to do. I never got to deal with a situation like this before."
  3861. "If your supervisor disapproves, bring her to me and I'll kick her rear."
  3862. >"I'll be sure to mention that, ma'am. Do you need anything else?"
  3863. "No, though... If more of them show up..."
  3864. >"Just ring for room service, ma'am."
  3865. >You sigh.
  3866. "Sorry about this. I don't want to cause a you guys a headache. There's probably half a dozen of them circling outside. Or maybe several dozen, for all I know. Dealing with them all will probably be a hassle."
  3867. >Her professional expression turns a bit more neutral.
  3868. >"Ma'am, you are not responsible for other ponie's bad behavior, and though we're not a five star hotel, we still strive to provide the best service we can, including reasonable expectations of privacy. Don't worry about us and enjoy the time with your lover- uh, your companion- uh, whatever your relationship is with this fine stallion. I'll inform management of the situation. I'm sure they'll understand."
  3869. >You chuckle as Anon stands there awkwardly, noticing that the mare stole a few appreciative glances at his legs.
  3870. "Thank you. That will be all for now, then."
  3871. >"Thank you, ma'am. I hope you enjoy the rest of your stay at Valley View Hotel."
  3872. >You nod and close the door, cantering towards the table.
  3873. "You looked like you were having fun."
  3874. >Anon nods, sitting down next to you with a grin.
  3875. >"Of course. That was hilarious. Hmm... There's got to be some more ways I could mess with them... Switch with someone? Nah, wouldn't want to sic them on some clueless bloke..."
  3876. >You snort as Anon schemes.
  3877. >You were genuinely worried that he would get overwhelmed and run away when you had to go back to the academy, but it looks like he's going to be just fine, even without you here.
  3878. >Better than fine. He's really having a blast.
  3879. >You shake your head with a small smile as you eat.
  3880. >Humans really are built different.
  3881. >The rest of the meal goes by quietly.
  3882. >Once you're done, you both lean back in satisfaction.
  3883. >Anon reaches out with a hand, rubbing your belly as you snort.
  3884. >Rolling your eyes, you leave the table and move towards the couch, though you're fully aware that it's a futile endeavor.
  3885. >Anon follows along, immediately latching on to you as you both sit down.
  3886. >You attempt to tickle him, but it doesn't work now that he's clothed.
  3887. >"Not in the mood for cuddles?"
  3888. >You sigh.
  3889. "Sorry, Anon. Just... You're wonderful, you really are. And I'd be a lot worse if you weren't here. But..."
  3890. >"But you're dealing with many year's worth of repressed negative emotions?"
  3891. "...You could say that."
  3892. >"Alright, well... How about another distraction? To take your mind off it? Something you seem to like really, really much?"
  3893. "What do you suggest?"
  3894. >You see him grimace and hesitate for a moment.
  3895. >You tilt your head slightly as he sighs in resignation.
  3896. >"Would you like to... Can't believe I'm about to say this..."
  3897. >Now you're intrigued.
  3898. "Yeah? Go on."
  3899. >"Would you like to play with my balls, Spitfire?"
  3900. >Ever so slowly, your expression goes from a confused frown to a manic, face-splitting grin.
  3901.  
  3902. "My goodness, Anon. So forward..."
  3903. >He looks away as he blushes.
  3904. >"Shut up. I still can't believe I said that."
  3905. "Aww, you're so sweet, stud. You know what? Suckling on your lovely, salty balls would be just the thing for me to unwind right now."
  3906. >"...Alright then."
  3907. >The gears in your head turn as you think.
  3908. >He slowly reaches for his pants, before you gently stop him with a hoof.
  3909. "Just make sure the curtains are closed very, very tightly, please."
  3910. >"Right, good point."
  3911. "Also, that was very sweet of you to offer, Anon. You did it for me, even though it makes you feel uncomfortable. So, I'm going to do something for you... Even though it makes me uncomfortable. I... Really hope you'll like it."
  3912. >He looks confused and mildly intrigued.
  3913. >"You don't have to do anything weird for me..."
  3914. "I have the damn things with me already, so might as well put them to use,"
  3915. >"Things?"
  3916. "You'll see. Check the curtains, please. I'll be right back."
  3917. >Grabbing the saddlebag, you go into the bathroom.
  3918. >Closing the door and opening the bag, you gulp nervously as you retrieve a balled up sock.
  3919. >With a sigh, you bite it and unroll it, hesitating for a moment before snugly pulling it over your leg.
  3920. >The fabric itself feels oddly comfortable, though everything else makes your guts clench up.
  3921. >Still, you're not inexperienced in powering through uncomfortable situations.
  3922. >It's been a while since you actually felt nervous, but you're able to keep control.
  3923. >You check the socks one last time, making sure they're snug and even.
  3924. >Welp. Here goes.
  3925. "Hope you're ready, Anon."
  3926. >"Well, I checked the curtains and got naked, if that's what you- Whoa."
  3927. >He's sitting on the bed, gawking at you.
  3928. >He goes slackjawed when you dramatically trot out the door, military parade style. Head held high, wings slightly relaxed, tail held even.
  3929. >Minus any actual military accoutrements, of course.
  3930. >If any pony would see you now...
  3931. >No, damn it. Focus on Anon. The only important thing is how he sees you.
  3932. >And...
  3933. >You give him a glance with a slight smirk.
  3934. >You're still not sure if he *likes* it, but he's clearly floored, which is probably a good sign.
  3935. >He's not saying anything, though, so what next?
  3936. >Might as well pose a bit, see how he reacts to that.
  3937. >You go through a few of the basic poster photo poses.
  3938. >A flying pose, one foreleg jabbing forward with wings spread wide for dramatic effect.
  3939. >The "proud stand" pose, your chest puffed out and wings half-spread.
  3940. >Actually flying, taking to the air and exposing your belly to Anon while you spread your sock-clad forelegs.
  3941. >"Holy shit..."
  3942. >He mutters under his breath as you grin.
  3943. "Like what you see, lovercolt?"
  3944. >"You- what- when- how?!"
  3945. >You tilt an eyebrow.
  3946. >Interesting.
  3947. >You stumped Anon from time to time, but never made his brain derail completely.
  3948. "How? Well, I brought them with me in that saddlebag... And then I went in there and put them on. Nothing too complicated."
  3949. >He slowly drags his hands across his face, looking at you while letting out a long exhale.
  3950. >"Okay. Damn."
  3951. "I take it you like them?"
  3952. >It's not hard to see that he does, given that his stallionhood is now absolutely rock hard and throbbing. Still, it's nice to hear him say it.
  3953. >"Spitfire, I..."
  3954. "Yeah?"
  3955. >"If you approached me like that when we first met, I don't think you'd have had any trouble convincing me to sleep with you at all.
  3956. >You blink at him before bursting out in a laugh.
  3957. "Bwahahahahhahahhh! Oh, Anon, if I went out looking like THIS, well... Ahahahhaah! I'd have every pony with a camera from Baltimare to Manehatten flocking to snap THAT picture, hhahahahah!"
  3958. >"No kidding. You... Should be careful with those."
  3959. "Yeah, if anyone catches wind of this-"
  3960. >"No, not that. Please be careful with those when you're around me."
  3961. >You frown.
  3962. "What? Why? How?"
  3963. >"Because I think I might pass out from all my blood rushing to my dick at unhealthy speeds."
  3964. >You snerk, holding a socked hoof on your muzzle.
  3965. "Okay. Well. I guess I'll save them for... Special occasions. You really like them, huh?"
  3966. >You twirl in the air, wondering what kind of pose would actually show off the socks the best.
  3967. >He shakes his head.
  3968. >"Spitfire, you're a literal sex incarnate right now."
  3969. "Wow. Bit dramatic, but I'll take it. Let's see..."
  3970. >You make a few more poses while you spin around in the air, Anon staring at you while biting his lip.
  3971. >Hmm. Probably shouldn't overdo it.
  3972. >Don't want the guy's dick to explode, or something.
  3973. >And he did promise you something, after all.
  3974. >Slightly opening your mouth in anticipation and excitement, you zip down, swiftly planting your rear next to the bed, and sticking your muzzle into his crotch.
  3975. >He flinches back slightly from the speed of the maneuver, though his hands still reflexively grab you by the top of your head and ears.
  3976. >Exhaling hotly right on his balls, you take in a deep, deeeeep breath.
  3977. "Mmmmmmmmm..."
  3978. >Next comes the tongue, slithering under his sack and lifting it up.
  3979. >Pulling it back in, you begin to lick in earnest, enjoying the faintly salty taste and masculine musk.
  3980. >He shivers, his grip becoming stronger.
  3981. >Putting your forelegs on his thighs, you keep going, planting yourself so firmly between his legs, it'd take the rest of the Wonderbolts to pull you off.
  3982. >Finally, you pop one of those lovely, masculine orbs into your mouth, suckling on it and gently nibbling on the sack.
  3983. >You keep breathing hotly, your breath washing over the rest of his crotch.
  3984. >You raise your eyes a bit as you feel him throb, gently bumping against your face.
  3985. >You give his shaft a lick from bottom to top, but go right back to his balls, making him grunt.
  3986. "You alright, big guy?"
  3987. >"I'm... I'm good."
  3988. >He forcefully pulls his hands off your head, putting them on your socked hooves and rubbing them gently.
  3989. >You probably shouldn't leave him completely unattended while you're having fun.
  3990. >You ponder the predicament while gargling on his right ball.
  3991. >What to do, what to do...
  3992. >Wings.
  3993. >You snake them upward, making a tent of sorts over your head.
  3994. >Trapping his throbbing member between them, you begin to pump, up and down.
  3995. >Not too fast, though. Don't want to end this too soon.
  3996. "Mmmm..."
  3997. >Taking your right foreleg, you gently heft his sack in your hoof, peppering it with kisses all over.
  3998. >Then, you suck his left nut into your mouth, rolling it around with your tongue.
  3999. >Once you're done with that, you stop, just sitting there with his ball in your mouth, enjoying it.
  4000. >Idly, you begin to hum a random melody, sending vibrations through his testicles.
  4001. >You observe Anon's reactions to each ministration to see what he likes best, the occasional throb of his member or a clench of his muscles as your indications.
  4002. >For all his protests against you appreciating his balls, he sure seems to be enjoying getting them appreciated, judging by his reactions.
  4003. >With a smile, you gently let go of lefty, getting righty into your mouth again and giving it the same treatment.
  4004. >You hum, lick, kiss, nibble, nuzzle, and do everything else you can possibly think of to express just how much you like those lovely orbs.
  4005. >You completely lose track of time, reveling in the glorious taste and musk of an eager stallion, trusting and willing enough to let you completely have your way around his most sensitive and precious bits.
  4006. >The thing that brings you back to reality is a drop of liquid falling onto your muzzle from above.
  4007. >Rolling your eyes up as far as you can, you see the base of Anon's shaft, still trapped in your wings.
  4008. >With a sigh, you finally let go of his balls, slightly spreading your wings apart.
  4009. "Hmmm..."
  4010. >You lick your lips as you consider the sight in front of you.
  4011. >Anon, panting up a storm, runs a hand through your mane.
  4012. >"You... Ah, you look very thoughtful all of a sudden."
  4013. "I'm thinking... I want to do this for you but..."
  4014. >"Do what? And but what?"
  4015. >You shrug with your wings, giving the tip of his stallionhood a gentle kiss.
  4016. >And then a lick, collecting the dripping precum.
  4017. >Ooh. Salty. It's quite potent.
  4018. "But I'd probably be terrible at it. I never did anything like this before. Stallions were the ones trying to please me, you know?"
  4019. >"Just... Do whatever you like, Spitfire. And... If you mean you want to use your mouth...?"
  4020. "Yeah."
  4021. >"Well, you'll never get good without practice. If you want to, that is. I'm perfectly fine bending you over and railing you. You don't have to."
  4022. >You roll your eyes as you shut him up with a wing.
  4023. "Shush."
  4024. >Silly colt.
  4025. >Then again...
  4026. >Humans are meat eaters and must have sharp bites. Maybe oral is something exotic for them.
  4027. >Well, he's certainly right about the practice bit.
  4028. >You begin with just the tip, wrapping your lips around it and swirling your tongue in circles, looking him in the eyes with a lidded gaze the entire time.
  4029. >He grits his teeth again, sucking in a breath.
  4030. >So far so good.
  4031. >Moving forward, you take him in deeper, using your tongue to press him against the roof of your mouth.
  4032. >He throbs again, and you swallow reflexively.
  4033. >You massage the underside of his cock with your tongue, giving him a moment to get used to it before taking in a deep breath.
  4034. >Now, for the moment of truth...
  4035. >You had to eat real fast sometimes, so you're not completely unfamiliar with forcing a big load down your throat.
  4036. >Catch is, you're not swallowing it completely, so...
  4037. >Better not choke, or you'll die of embarrassment.
  4038. >There's inexperienced, and then there's just plain bad at being a pegasus.
  4039. >Focusing fully on the rod in your mouth, you seal your lips around it as tightly as you can, moving your head forward.
  4040. >When it reaches your throat, you don't stop, forcing it in.
  4041. >It hurts a little, but it's nothing you can't deal with.
  4042. >A bit further in, though, you hit a jam of some kind, the entire back of throat growing tight.
  4043. >You grimace and try to push forward, but it's extremely slow going.
  4044. >Alright, keep calm. Back up and analyze.
  4045. >Pulling back just a little bit, you feel the pressure ease.
  4046. >Ohh. Right.
  4047. >He's perfectly straight. But you're trying to force him into your throat at an angle.
  4048. >Stretching out your neck and gently bending his cock lower, you push forward again, and this time, you don't stop.
  4049. >He slides into your maw with surprising ease, all the way until you bump your muzzle into his belly, scrunching your nose slightly at the ticklish sensation of the short hair there.
  4050. >You rest there for a bit, as Anon gently pulls on your ears.
  4051. >"Um, Spitfire... Don't forget to breathe..."
  4052. >You blink in surprise, reflexively attempting to laugh, though all it ends up doing is flexing your throat around his throbbing length.
  4053. >Which he does seem to enjoy, letting out a gasp.
  4054. >Guess he doesn't know just how long pegasi can hold their breaths.
  4055. >Giving him a look, you stick out your tongue, swirling it around.
  4056. >To your immense delight, you find that you're more than capable of reaching just about his entire ballsack.
  4057. >Closing your eyes, you give his boys a few long licks again.
  4058. >After a few moments, though, you remember that you're supposed to be learning.
  4059. >And you rubbed him off with your wings for quite a while, but he still didn't cum...
  4060. >Dang it, what to do...
  4061. >Oh, right. Movement. You should probably stimulate him somehow, not just hold him in your throat.
  4062. >Curiously, you attempt to swallow, flexing your throat and neck muscles again.
  4063. >"Hrrn..."
  4064. >He does seem to like it, but you do finally run out of air.
  4065. >Slowly pulling off him, you immediately begin swallowing reflexively as your sore throat spasms.
  4066. >You manage to keep yourself from coughing, so that's a win.
  4067. >Letting out a long breath, you recompose yourself while you swirl your tongue around him again.
  4068. >Right then, let's finish this...
  4069. >Pushing forward, you penetrate your throat with his shaft again, much faster this time.
  4070. >You begin bobbing your head back and forth, letting his tip reach the very edge of your throat before pushing back in again, bouncing your head on his shaft and bumping your muzzle into his belly over and over.
  4071. >"Ah! Spitfire, I'm, ah, I'm getting close..."
  4072. >You acknowledge it by wrapping your wings around him in a firm hug, not slowing down for a second.
  4073. >It takes maybe a dozen thrusts before he wraps his hands around the back of your head, eagerly, but also fearfully attempting to push you forward.
  4074. >You oblige with gusto, ramming your face into his crotch and hungrily swallowing.
  4075. >Curiously, you reach out with a hoof and rub your slightly sore neck, feeling a noticeable bulge there. Wondering if he can even feel it, you rub him through your neck with a hoof, feeling him throb as he unloads.
  4076. >Even if it's not in your marehood, the knowledge that there's a stallion emptying his balls and eagerly pumping his seed into you makes you tingle all over, satisfying you on a primal level.
  4077. >You hold on for a good minute until he stops throbbing, finally pulling off with a massive gasp.
  4078. >You do end up coughing a few times, thumping yourself on the chest.
  4079. >"You okay, Spitfire? Do-"
  4080. "Sho- *cough* shush."
  4081. >Seriously, there's such a thing as being too caring. Not like you're remotely in any kind of danger.
  4082. >You pant a bit with a big smile, a few tears falling from your eyes.
  4083. >You wipe them off with a foreleg, finally raising your face towards Anon.
  4084. >Despite sitting still the entire time, he's flushed, and there's beads of sweat all over him.
  4085. >Nice. Looks like you did well.
  4086. "You liked that, stud?"
  4087. >Your voice is a little hoarse, but you manage to deliver that without coughing.
  4088. >"That was amazing, Spitfire. Did you like... Playing with my balls?"
  4089. >You snigger as you stretch your legs and lean forward, licking his bare skin clean and enjoying the free salt.
  4090. "Mmmm-hmmmm. Such a lovely pair. I'm going to need to show them some more appreciation soon."
  4091. >"...Whatever floats your boat."
  4092. "Oh? And it doesn't float yours? Pretty sure it was floating pretty damn well while I was busy down there."
  4093. >"Well... Fine. It's weird, but it feels good."
  4094. "See?"
  4095. >"Shush. Don't get too cocky."
  4096. "Pft. I'm not cocky. I just know exactly just how good I am."
  4097. >"Uh huh. Sure. Come here, you."
  4098. >He grabs you by the forelegs and pulls you closer, his eyes still roaming back and forth, across your socked legs.
  4099. >His closeness sets off the rest of your body, and your marehood winks with a squelch.
  4100. >"Ah. I recognize that."
  4101. "Well, you're all spent for now, so don't worry about that. I can wait."
  4102. >"I don't want to wait, though. Now, you might have your soft wings and lovely, pretty muzzle, but I do have these."
  4103. >He wiggles his hands in front of you, before sliding them down your body.
  4104. >You bite your lip as a shiver runs down your spine, climbing into his lap as he latches on to your marehood.
  4105. "Alright then... Show me what you got."
  4106. >"With pleasure."
  4107. >You gasp as he slides a finger inside you, the sensation of it wiggling a bit disconcerting.
  4108. >It's not like his dick at all, and you're not exactly capable of shoving your hoof in there, so it's a completely new sensation.
  4109. >Still, your cunt doesn't complain, winking around him as he starts pumping it back and forth.
  4110. >A second finger joins it moments later, while he uses the second hand to expose your clit and start tweaking it.
  4111. "Ah! Ah, ah, mmmmf..."
  4112. >You bite your sock-clad hoof as he assaults your nethers with incredible intensity, not bothering with foreplay at all.
  4113. >Not like he needs to, of course, You're massively aroused from huffing and tasting him for so long.
  4114. >Those hands of his are capable of a whole bunch of crazy things. You're not sure even a unicorn would be able to do some of the stuff he's doing.
  4115. >He rubs your outer lips furiously before tweaking your clit again, pumping in and out the entire time, picking up more and more speed, as if he's trying to start a fire with the amount of friction he's generating.
  4116. >Well, he does start a fire, figuratively. All your nerve endings down there are set alight, all your muscles clenching and unclenching.
  4117. "Oh buck, Celestia... Harder, Anon, buck that's good, I'm so close, don't stop, keep going-"
  4118. >He gently bites your ear as he keeps rubbing you.
  4119. >"Shh. I'll keep going even while you cum, don't worry."
  4120. >You whimper and nod, clamping down on your moan as you cum around his fingers.
  4121. >Your marehood flexes as you pant, your cum soaking his hands and dripping onto the floor.
  4122. >As promised, he keeps going, though he has a little trouble pushing his fingers deeper in when you clamp down.
  4123. >Your clit receives no mercy, though, getting mashed and squeezed between his fingers.
  4124. >You bite your lip and enjoy the agonizing ecstasy for a good minute before flapping your wings, gently pushing at his hands.
  4125. >He takes the signal, finally letting go of your dripping marehood.
  4126. >Both of you sit and pant there for a while, just catching your breaths and enjoying the afterglow.
  4127. >You slowly turn your head towards him, just staring into his eyes.
  4128. >Shuffling a bit, you turn to face him, gently grabbing his face and drawing him into a long, passionate kiss.
  4129. >Once you're done, it just... Tumbles out of you.
  4130. "Love you."
  4131. >He blinks several times in surprise before hugging you and kissing you on the muzzle.
  4132. >"Do you think it's... Too early to say that?"
  4133. >You slowly shake your head with a smile.
  4134. "We already accepted that we're not dealing with this relationship while using the traditional standards. I don't care. Yes, I don't love you with all my heart yet. But love is not a yes/no question. There's many levels, and many kinds. And... I love you. I love what I experienced with you so far. And I want to know more about you, spend more time with you, so I can love you more."
  4135. >"I... Love you too, Spitfire."
  4136. >There's another kiss, one that only ends when Anon runs out of air.
  4137. >You then hug, feeling your heartbeats through your chests.
  4138. >Slowly laying down, you cuddle for a bit, before Anon becomes thoughtful.
  4139. >"Alright, I don't know if I'm ruining the moment, but I have to ask: What's with the socks?"
  4140. >You blink in surprise before sniggering.
  4141. "Blame Fleetfoot, the raging dyke. It was her idea. I wasn't even sure if I was going to wear them. But when you so graciously offered up your balls..."
  4142. >"Hm. It seems like we can blame Fleetfoot for a lot of things that happened these past few days. Heck, pretty much everything, really."
  4143. "Oh yeah, I'm going kick her flank for this someday."
  4144. >He gives you a look.
  4145. >"I'd have thought you'd be grateful?"
  4146. "Of course I'm grateful. She's still an annoying cunt, though."
  4147. >He stays silent for a bit before chuckling.
  4148. >"She's one of your best friends, isn't she?"
  4149. "Yeah. How'd you guess?"
  4150. >"People talk shit like that only about their enemies or best friends, and I doubt the wingmare that helped you out like that would be your enemy."
  4151. "Ha. Yeah, she's my right hoof, and a total sis."
  4152. >"Guess I owe her for this, too. I'll need to buy her a beer."
  4153. >You snort.
  4154. "Oh no you don't. I'm buying all the beers for her for the next decade."
  4155. >"Fine, fine. The decade after that, then."
  4156. >You both chuckle.
  4157. >Eventually, though, the cum around your nethers becomes sticky and cold, and you sigh.
  4158. "Probably time to clean up."
  4159. >"Yes please, though I'm sad that you're going to lose the socks."
  4160. "Ha. Well, fortunately for you, Anon, as captain of the Wonderbolts, I know how to manage all kinds of crazy logistics. So here's what we're going to do: I'm going to take the socks off, we'll clean up, and I'll put them on again, just for you."
  4161.  
  4162. >You slide off him, careful not to get any fluids on the socks.
  4163. >Anon carefully peels them off, treating them like some kind of expensive treasure.
  4164. >You roll your eyes at it, but let him have his fun.
  4165. >Already knowing what's going to happen, you go into the bathroom, climbing into the bath and plugging it, starting the water.
  4166. >As predicted, Anon comes in moments later, immediately grabbing soaps and lathering them up as he begins to rub you.
  4167. >Well, grooming certainly won't be a problem when you're with him.
  4168. >You keep your rear inside while hooking your forelegs over the edge.
  4169. >"Don't feel like a soak?"
  4170. "Nah, let's wait until evening, at least. Still lots of time left in the day. No telling what we might get up to yet."
  4171. >"...Very true, especially if you keep those socks on."
  4172. >You snort in amusement.
  4173. >They turned out to be quite an investment. Not that you paid for them.
  4174. >Where would you get new ones if those got damaged, though?
  4175. >Ugh. Another thing to ask Fleetfoot that's to do with socks.
  4176. >You hike your tail way up, giving Anon full access to the goods.
  4177. >From the corners of your eyes, you see him bite his lip before shaking his head and gently applying the soap to your nethers, though he does linger on your teats just a bit longer than needed.
  4178. >Was he tempted to start playing with you again?
  4179. >Mare, what a horndog.
  4180. >He splashes and rubs you, as you relax and sigh in pleasure.
  4181. >There's still a very faint tingle from the orgasm you had, though it's mostly gone now.
  4182. >You try not to let it grow into a fire again just yet.
  4183. >When he's done, you sit your butt down into the water, Anon rubbing your rear clean of the soapy suds.
  4184. >You lazily shut the water off, though you don't get out of the water just yet.
  4185. >Languidly turning towards Anon, you gently push your tail against his face.
  4186. >"Pfff- What? Do you want me to wash your tail?"
  4187. "No."
  4188. >"Then why did you do that?"
  4189. "I felt like it."
  4190. >He looks at you for a moment, eventually huffing and tweaking your ear.
  4191. >He doesn't push your tail away, though, petting it slowly.
  4192. >"Silly mare."
  4193. "Silly colt."
  4194. >"Man."
  4195. "Silly man. Glad you don't argue that part."
  4196. >He shakes his head.
  4197. >"You're acting oddly... Hm."
  4198. "Yeah?"
  4199. >"I don't know. Carefree? Relaxed? Undisciplined? Even when you're calm, there's usually this... Intensity about you."
  4200. >You blink slowly, examining your own mental and emotional state with curiosity.
  4201. >You feel fine. Excellent, even.
  4202. "I guess I really needed that little session in the ball pit."
  4203. >He gives you a flat look, though he smiles a little.
  4204. >"Really helped you unwind, huh?"
  4205. "It did, yes. You know what that means, right?"
  4206. >"...No?"
  4207. "Well, while this is nice, I still have a lot of pent up stress. Which means that I'm going to need more sessions like that. It means that I'm going to play with your balls SO MANY TIMES, Anon."
  4208. >He scrunches, seemingly unsure how to feel about your proposition/threat.
  4209. >You just smile, slowly rubbing your tail against him again.
  4210. >After a little while, though, the water cools down, and you decide to get out.
  4211. >Anon quickly turns it back on to splash around for a bit, but with no fur, he's really quick.
  4212. >You towel yourselves off, going back out into the main room.
  4213. >You eye the curtains, making sure they didn't magically jump out of place. Everything's still safe, though.
  4214. >With some exasperation and faint amusement, you bite one of the socks and begin sliding it up your leg.
  4215. >This time, Anon doesn't intervene to aid you at all, just watching you with something between a stunned and ravenous expression.
  4216. >You snort around the sock in your teeth, wiggling your eyebrows at him.
  4217. >Making sure it's secure, you reach for another one.
  4218. "You know, Anon, I am really glad that your alien sensibilities managed to find me sexually attractive, but this is almost making it too easy."
  4219. >"I could say the same about you and my balls. Speaking of..."
  4220. >He begins dressing up again, hiding everything.
  4221. >Drat. No fair.
  4222. >Oh well, he earned this.
  4223. >Slipping on the rest of the socks, you stretch your legs out one by one while he watches with an approving grin.
  4224. >Giving each other a long, approving look, both of you stand there for a moment before deciding to take it to the couch.
  4225. >Anon immediately goes for cuddles, but you have more serious things on your mind now.
  4226. >Now that you prevent him from wrapping himself around you, of course.
  4227. "So, Anon..."
  4228. >"Mhm?"
  4229. "I was thinking that it was going to take at least several dates, but since we seem to be... Getting along quite well, would you be okay to keep moving this relationship at a fast pace?"
  4230. >"Probably? What's next on your list?"
  4231. "Moving in. I know it's a big step to do with someone you're still largely unfamiliar with, but..."
  4232. >He shrugs.
  4233. >"Spitfire, from what you told me, you're not even going to BE there most of the time. So I'd just be moving into your property, while you visit now and then."
  4234. "...Right, true."
  4235. >"Can you tell me more about that? Give me actual details. What's your schedule like? How often will you get time off?"
  4236. "Well, let's see... My job can be quite irregular, but there's a few cornerstones to the whole thing. The year is chopped up into several segments. First of all, there's a season of newbie training. We take in new recruits, beat them into shape, and, depending on how good they are, either let them go, add them to the team, or to the list of reservists. Most go to the reserves - only the very best of the best can make it into the leading team, and only when a spot is open."
  4237. >"And from what I know, it's not exactly an eight-hour workday kind of thing."
  4238. >You shake your head.
  4239. "Absolutely not. Military training is not like that. And, while most know us as stunt ponies and aerial performers, our training is very much military. We can't just push them for half a day, and then let ponies go off and get drunk, or get hopped up on grease and sugar, or any of that other stuff. We need to beat discipline and training into them, so it really settles in their heads. Becomes second nature."
  4240. >"So I'm assuming that you stay with them the entire time."
  4241. "Yup. The 'Bolts are not like some other military regiments, where the brass sit back with a glass of whiskey in a comfy chair and sleep in a mansion while the grunts crawl through mud and bunk in barracks. Sure, I'm the boss, and everyone does what I bucking tell them to do, or I'll kick their flank six ways to Saturday. But, everyone - including myself - in the team is a capable flier, everyone needs to be able to perform in the field and carry their weight, and no one is above reproach. Captain or rookie, we all sleep in the same barracks, eat in the same cafeteria, and so on."
  4242. >"Very egalitarian. I'm guessing that you slipping away for some private time with me would be seen as you abusing your rank and getting unfair privileges."
  4243. "Right. Also being undisciplined. That's not what the Wonderbolts are about. It'd be a massive hit on the team's order and morale. Heck, I'm pretty sure I'd get demoted or fired immediately. The 'Bolts don't screw around with standards, and with good reason. Well decorated regiments come and go over the years as the ponies cycle in and out, but we have been the best of the best for centuries, and I'm not going to be the first captain jeopardize that. Not even for you, Anon. Sorry."
  4244. >He scoffs, booping you on the nose.
  4245. >"I'm not asking you to, you big fluffy doofus."
  4246. >You smack him in the face with a wing, which sets off a brief tickle match.
  4247. >Wrapping his arms around you with a grin, he continues as if nothing was happening.
  4248. >"Alright, so you have to spend several months training newbies non-stop. What comes after?"
  4249. >You try to wiggle out of his grasp, but those fingers are ridiculously grabby.
  4250. "Well, we're always on call in the Wonderbolts HQ, in case of emergencies. We train to remain fit, but the schedule is a bit more... "Normal", I guess you'd call it. Free time in the evening. Enough for a quick nip to the nearby settlements, if you feel like it. Weekends off, like the one right now, though there's still a skeleton crew back in HQ in case they need to recall us all quickly. That goes on for several months."
  4251. >"By process of elimination, that means touring is the next part."
  4252. "Correct. We go on tours throughout Equestria. We don't exactly visit every single village, but Equestria's still a big place, so that takes a couple months to wrap up. Then, we have around four more months of relaxed schedule again, and then newbie training starts up once more."
  4253. >"So, you're effectively gone for half of the year or so... There's nothing saying I can't follow you when you're on tour, though, is there? I'm assuming you don't actually sleep in barracks when you do that. Or do you?"
  4254. >You bite your lip.
  4255. "Well, we do stay in the military bases near a couple of the bigger cities. Catch up with other branches, have some fun kicking their butts in some friendly inter-service rivalry, help out if they need it. But... Yes, we do usually stay in hotels otherwise."
  4256. >He presses you closer, nuzzling your ear.
  4257. >"In individual rooms, I hope? With no one to interrupt an intense cuddling session of their tired, sweaty and stressed captain?"
  4258. >You let out a long breath, imagining an "intense cuddling session" after putting on a show at full power, with your muscles sore and heart beating, feeling alive in every way possible.
  4259. "Mmmmmmostly..."
  4260. >He leans back with a grin.
  4261. >"Works for me. I could drop by to visit you in some of the cities, at least. I mean, you must have the schedule planned out months in advance, right? And you can get pretty much anywhere important from Canterlot by train."
  4262. "Of course it's planned well in advance. And where the trains don't go, you can get to by pegasus chariot. Or simply if you need to get somewhere fast."
  4263. >"...Right, those things. "
  4264. "You sound doubtful for some reason."
  4265. >He shrugs.
  4266. >"I'll be honest, Spitfire, those things make me a little nervous."
  4267. "Don't you humans have tons of flying machines?"
  4268. >"Well yeah. It's far less likely for a machine to fail than a person, though. Machines might break down, but don't make mistakes."
  4269. >You turn towards him with a raised eyebrow.
  4270. "Are you trash talking pegasi?"
  4271. >He chuckles and raises his arms in mock surrender.
  4272. >"Hey, easy there. I come from a different world, and an open chariot like that doesn't look like the safest thing to traverse the skies at high speed. Besides, what I said is still true. People are fallible. If they weren't, you wouldn't need to train them so hard, would you?"
  4273. "Pff. Fine, but I'll have you know that I don't even remember hearing the last time there was an accident with a pegasus chariot, and even then, if one pony goes down, the second one has enough wingpower to land safely. There's a reason they go in pairs."
  4274. >"Right, okay. Like multiple engines on a plane."
  4275. "...Don't know what that is, so I'm just going to say yes. Anyway, that's about it. So, yes or no to the moving in question? If you don't feel ready yet, then maybe we could upgrade you to a slightly higher class hotel. One that has actual private security."
  4276. >He shakes his head.
  4277. >"Don't know what it's like in here, but back on Earth, private residences have the highest privacy protections by law."
  4278. "It's the same here, yes."
  4279. >"In that case, go for it. If... *YOU* feel ready for it."
  4280. >Are you?
  4281. >They're just bits. Bits that have been piling up in your bank account for years now. Bits that you'll easily get back if you sell the place.
  4282. >It's really not such a hard decision. Financially, anyway.
  4283. >Other ways...
  4284. >You're going to get a coltfriend!
  4285. >Well, no, you already have one. Once you're actually living together, you're going to have your own *stallion*.
  4286. >Or man, as he insists.
  4287. >It makes you a little giddy.
  4288. >Other thoughts inevitably intrude.
  4289. >Are you going to be like those mono weirdoes, with just you and him?
  4290. >Who could you even invite to herd with you?
  4291. >He SAYS he's going to be loyal, but...
  4292. >Well, you've still only known each other for two days. And there is the whole thing with the risk of having other mares while you're away.
  4293. >So maybe it's better for it to be just you and him for a little while. See if he can back his big talk up.
  4294. >A stallion would insist on a full herd, but Anon should be fine with it.
  4295. >"Big decision?"
  4296. >You smile.
  4297. "Not in the slightest. I already decided, and my thoughts went on a tangent about other things. Yes, I'm ready. Though... Ugh."
  4298. >"Yeah?"
  4299. "I never bought property on the ground before. I heard there's a stupid amount of regulations in the ground cities. Cloud cities are just so much simpler. There's space everywhere, you don't have to fight over whether your lawn is chewing on your neighbor's lawn, or whatever it is that pony neighbors on the ground fight about."
  4300. >Anon sniggers.
  4301. >"I'm pretty sure that if a property is already built, then it must have been built according to all the regulations. All you need to do is find one that you like, and pay up."
  4302. "Yeah, okay. Let's see, then... Today is Sunday, so... Probably their day off, and I don't even know where any real estate dealer's offices are in Canterlot... Hmmm... Alright, I got it."
  4303. >Wiggling out of Anon's grasp, you trot over to the gem and click on it.
  4304. >It pings, and you wait by the door, before Anon interrupts your thoughts.
  4305. >"What was it that you said about ponies seeing you in socks?"
  4306. >Your heart freezes and your thoughts stop completely as your blood is blasted by a wave of adrenaline, as if you're facing down an adult dragon.
  4307. >YOU'RE STILL WEARING THE SOCKS!
  4308. >AND THERE'S APPROACHING HOOFTSEPS!
  4309. >YOU ALMOST OPENED THE DOOR WITH THE SOCKS ON!
  4310. >With a flap of your wings, you fly into the air, quickly biting the ends of the socks and tossing them towards Anon one by one.
  4311. "Roll them up!"
  4312. >He catches them, sniggering and snorting, doing his best not to collapse from laughing.
  4313. >"Ahhahah, is it - hahahh, is it really such a big thing if they see you in socks?"
  4314. "Yes!"
  4315. >You hiss desperately as the hoofsteps almost reach the door.
  4316. "Socks are for stallions, dykes and whores! Not Wonderbolt captains! Now please, hide them! Put them in my saddlebag!"
  4317. >"Aye aye, captain."
  4318. >*Knock knock*
  4319. >"Room service."
  4320. >Your heart's still beating, but years of discipline help you keep your expression calm.
  4321. >Opening the door, you see the same unicorn mare.
  4322. >"How can I help you, ma'am? Any more attempted intrusions?"
  4323. >You shake your head.
  4324. "Fortunately, no. I would like some writing implements and paper, please. And some envelopes. And... Several newspapers."
  4325. >The mare hums thoughtfully.
  4326. >"It is Sunday, so... I don't entirely remember which newspapers have weekend editions, I'm afraid."
  4327. "No need for that. It's fine if they're weeks or even a couple months old. I just need to see the classifieds, not the news."
  4328. >"Oh, in that case, we have a number of this week's newspapers in the lobby for ponies to read. I'll bring some over."
  4329. "Oh, and, I suppose we might as well get lunch now. It's probably about time. Anon?"
  4330. >"Sure."
  4331. >The two of you order some food, and with a professional nod, the mare trots away.
  4332. >Anon looks at the clock.
  4333. >"Huh. Time flies."
  4334. "Hm. Yeah. I thought that being stuck in one room all day would be more boring than this."
  4335. >"Well, you did spend close to an hour huffing my balls."
  4336. "Really? Damn. Wish I could take those things with me. Best hour ever."
  4337. >Anon crosses his arms with a flat look.
  4338. >"Sorry, they're a package deal."
  4339. "And a lovely package it is."
  4340.  
  4341.  
  4342. >He goes to tweak your ears, for which you swat at him with a wing.
  4343. >You both smirk confidently at each other, swatting at the incoming appendages.
  4344. >You're fast, but he has reach with those long arms.
  4345. >He also has grip, which he exploits when he latches on to your right foreleg.
  4346. >It proceeds to turn into a wrestling match, one which becomes quite confusing to you.
  4347. >You barely put in any effort at first, not wanting to hurt him.
  4348. >But when he tosses you about with no effort, you start getting into it for real.
  4349. >And when you're completely helpless and pinned beneath him, you give it your all, but despite putting in all your strength into it, Anon remains unfazed, nuzzling your neck with a smile.
  4350. "What the buck...?"
  4351. >"Everything alright? I'm not hurting you, am I?"
  4352. "No. But I clearly need to rethink some things."
  4353. >He lets you go, looking at you with mild confusion. It gives you a chance to slip away from under him, turning around an analyzing the alien in front of you.
  4354. >"Did I do something wrong?"
  4355. "No, not at all. You were very good, in fact. Far better than I expected. I once told Fleetfoot that I was pretty sure I could easily kick a human's butt in a fight. You managed to take me down with ease, though."
  4356. >He processes that for a moment before smirking and flexing dramatically.
  4357. >"Well, cute little fluffy pony, you were dead wrong. I'm afraid you're just no match for this alien predator."
  4358. >You snort, spreading your wings and puffing up at the challenge.
  4359. "Oh, buddy, you're going to be eating those words soon. Let me show you just why Equestria is the greatest country in this world. And it's not for a lack of various monsters trying to conquer us."
  4360. >"Bring it o- oomph!"
  4361. >You leap at him, headbutting him in the chest and wrapping your forelegs around him.
  4362. >You try to toss him down to the ground by flapping your wings, but he latches on to you with his hands, and you both go down.
  4363. >As you writhe on the floor, you keep trying to get free, but flying only brings him into the air with you, and he's able to grab your wings and bring you down, sometimes even with him on top, squishing you between him and the floor.
  4364. >Which is kind of hot, but that's not the goal this time.
  4365. >You both keep going, but soon enough, you're rendered helpless once more, Anon coiled around you like some kind of exotic snake as you fruitlessly try to flap your wings, the appendages only feebly slapping against the floor.
  4366. >"You were saying, cute stuff?"
  4367. >You huff.
  4368. "Oh, it's on now, Anon. I won't go easy on you next time."
  4369. >He laughs.
  4370. >"You already said you wouldn't. And I kicked your butt."
  4371. "Alright, you brought this on yourself."
  4372. >You separate, eyeing each other before you lunge at Anon.
  4373. >He dodges you with absurd ease as you frown and track his movements.
  4374. >He flashes you a cocky grin, idly examining his fingers.
  4375. >"Too easy."
  4376. >What the buck is going on?
  4377. >You're a Wonderbolt! And Anon is an... Electrician!
  4378. >Are they some kind of military trained types on Earth? Why would they need that? But he already said he never was in the military...
  4379. >Of course, despite being part of the military, Wonderbolts don't even have combat training. Officially, at least.
  4380. >They're completely focused on flying, though things change during time off.
  4381. >Pegasi are the most martial of the tribes, after all.
  4382. >Mares like to challenge each other, and though it usually ends up being a race, there's plenty fighting and sparring matches.
  4383. >So you know *some* stuff about combat.
  4384. >Anon's alien form throws you off, though.
  4385. >You huff as you prepare to jump again.
  4386. >*knock knock*
  4387. >"Room service."
  4388. >You and Anon stare at each other for a long second.
  4389. >"Time out?"
  4390. "Time out."
  4391. >Both of you go to the door, taking all the things the mare brought you.
  4392. >The first thing you get to is food.
  4393. >Once that's done, you get to work.
  4394. >Grabbing the newspapers one by one, you quickly flip to the advertisement sections.
  4395. >Courier service, food takeaways, moving company...
  4396. >There we go. Realtors.
  4397. >Anon reads through the articles while you pick out the ads that look promising.
  4398. >Commercial space? Nope.
  4399. >Apartments, buildings and mansions. That's more like it.
  4400. >As expected, their working hours don't stretch much into the weekend, though some of them do work on Saturdays for a reduced amount of time.
  4401. >There's three companies that fit the bill.
  4402. >Taking the sheets of paper, you look for a quill and an inkpot, only to find them missing.
  4403. >You're unpleasantly surprised at the mare forgetting something so important, until you notice the clear plastic tube.
  4404. >Right, pens.
  4405. >For all the apprehension of their weird and strange technology with potentially bad side effects, the one thing that was quickly adopted by the bureaucracy and ponies in general were human writing implements.
  4406. >They were just several times more efficient, hooves down.
  4407. >And it didn't look like they could blow up in your face, or anything like that.
  4408. >Taking the pen, you pen the letters.
  4409. >Hello Madam/Sir, how are you...
  4410. >Niceties, polite chatter, blah blah...
  4411. >You answer fan mail from time to time, so writing letters is nothing new.
  4412. >Once you get to the important bits, your military habits take over, and you condense it into what's most important.
  4413. >Looking for a suitable living space in Canterlot, have the funds, but don't have the time to spend weeks looking through every possible option, etc.
  4414. >You write down the criteria after considering what you actually want for a moment.
  4415. >You could take something small for just you and Anon, but you might well have guests over, either family or other 'Bolts, so might as well go for a full herd home.
  4416. >You fully realize that saying "I have a pile of gold and I'm in a rush" is a very bad thing to do as a buyer.
  4417. >On the other hoof, you weren't born yesterday, so you're pretty damn sure you'll be able to see through any manure they try to pull on you.
  4418. >And maybe, just maybe, they'd be wary of trying to scam the captain of the Wonderbolts.
  4419. >Best make sure they're aware of it.
  4420. >Sincerely yours, Spitfire, Captain of the Wonderbolts.
  4421. >And finished.
  4422. >You seal the letters, writing down the return address as the Wonderbolt's HQ.
  4423. >Well, that's done.
  4424. >Stretching your limbs, you smack your hooves together.
  4425. "Alright then. Where were we?"
  4426. >Anon puts his newspaper down with a thoughtful expression.
  4427. >"You were about to get your butt kicked yet again, I believe."
  4428. "Alright, that's it."
  4429.  
  4430. ******
  4431.  
  4432. "Augh!"
  4433. >"What's that now? Round five, six? So, what, best seven out of thirteen?"
  4434. >You snarl as Anon grins.
  4435. >He's tired and sweaty, and also half-naked, having grown too hot from the vigorous exercise.
  4436. >But he's also winning.
  4437. >Hard.
  4438. >You shake your head, clamping down on your anger.
  4439. "How are you moving like that?"
  4440. >"Like what?"
  4441. "Like when you disappear when I jump at you."
  4442. >"You mean when I sidestep you?"
  4443. "What's a sidestep?"
  4444. >He tilts his head, looking you over.
  4445. >"Huh... With your anatomy..."
  4446. "Show me that move. Slowly."
  4447. >"Alright."
  4448. >He extends a leg to the side, at a painful-looking angle. Using the other leg, he launches himself sideways, with little effort.
  4449. "Huh..."
  4450. >"Yeah, our legs can bend in various ways. You charge real fast, and I bet you'd run me down effortlessly even though your legs are shorter than mine, but you can't do this, can you?"
  4451. >He hops around you in a circle with his face turned towards you the entire time, doing that "sidestepping" thing.
  4452. >You've never seen a move like that. That doesn't seem possible for a pony.
  4453. >You slowly attempt the move, moving both your left legs.
  4454. >You lose balance, though, and have to right yourself by flapping your wings.
  4455. >You can jump sideways, sure, but not even remotely with the same grace that Anon can.
  4456. >Your only other option is flight, but then, it's hard to do it as precisely as he does.
  4457. >You have to constantly flap to stay in the air, instead of just using the ground as a leverage point.
  4458. "So you're faster than me. That's not entirely new for me, but it's an obstacle."
  4459. >"I don't think I am. You're crazy fast. I'm just more... Agile? Dextrous? In confined spaces. One of those. Flexible, maybe. You could probably turn me into a pancake if you had space to gain momentum. But in an enclosed room..."
  4460. >He's right.
  4461. >When you looked at humans, they looked thin, gangly, and poorly balanced. Like you could topple them over with but a poke.
  4462. >You're learning just how wrong you were.
  4463. >Anon is crazy good at keeping his balance with just two legs. One leg, even.
  4464. >He also has a long reach, and very, very, very grabby appendages.
  4465. >The only way for you to wrestle him down is by using both your forelegs to grab at him, and use your wing power to overpower him.
  4466. >But that means getting close, and the moment Anon wraps those deceptively fragile-looking fingers around any part of you, it's over.
  4467. >No matter how hard you pull, you can't pull away from him. You just end up dragging him with you.
  4468. >"So... Giving up?"
  4469. "Never!"
  4470. >Taking to the air, you circle around him, looking for an opportunity.
  4471. >You're almost definitely going to lose, but how else are you supposed to learn?
  4472. >Also, this is fun. It's not often you're presented with a genuine challenge.
  4473. >Hopping on his back, you attempt to wrench his body sideways as he snakes his hands behind him.
  4474. >As you expected, despite seemingly having an advantage at first, you soon end up entangled in Anon's limbs in all kinds of improbable ways.
  4475. >Grinning, he holds you against his chest as you struggle fruitlessly.
  4476. >That seems to be his favorite way to subdue you.
  4477. >Back pressed against his chest, wing muscles and wings slightly disrupted, enough to only give weak flaps.
  4478. >Forelegs and hindlegs scrabbling in the air as he holds on to your body and limbs with his arms.
  4479. >And he's just casually nuzzling your mane while you're doing everything to try and get out of his grip.
  4480. >"Archimedes would be proud, I think."
  4481. "Who?"
  4482. >"One of the Greek philosophers. Though I think he was a scientist, not a philosopher. He once said, and I might be paraphrasing a little, "Give me a point of leverage and a lever, and I'll move the very Earth." Well, you're honestly stronger than me, but without much leverage..."
  4483. >You huff.
  4484. >You don't like to admit it, but Anon has outsmarted and outplayed you.
  4485. >Granted, his body is just outright better for wrestling, but it didn't take him long at all to figure out how to use it best to win.
  4486. >Just like it didn't take him long to figure your body out on how to...
  4487. >Not the time, Spitfire.
  4488. >Then again...
  4489. >You slip your tail between his legs, rubbing at his crotch.
  4490. "Alright, alright. You beat me fair and square, bloodfeather. Be proud of it. Not many can say that they did that."
  4491. >"...Bloodfeather?"
  4492. >Oops.
  4493. >That one slipped out by accident.
  4494. >You remain silent while he talks.
  4495. >"I'm just built better for this. I'm sure you could destroy me in an actual fight. With your speed and hooves, you could smash my face in faster than I could blink. Honestly, I'm surprised ponies wrestle at all, when you're so bad at grappling. What's a bloodfeather, though?"
  4496. >You cough as you slowly keep rubbing him, feeling a certain something twitch and grow.
  4497. "It's a pegasus term. Don't worry about it."
  4498. >"I'm not worrying about it, I'm curious. Spill."
  4499. "It means... Young love, in a sense, but... Well, there's all sorts of connotations to terms that don't carry over for someone who's not a pegasus. Language in Equestria is more or less the same, but tribes still have some terms that are exclusive to them."
  4500. >"Oh. That sounds neat. Can you try to explain? Please?"
  4501. "Well... A blood feather is when a new feather grows, and has blood flowing through it. It is dangerous if it gets damaged, as you can lose a lot of blood. If one gets damaged, you need to yank out the entire feather."
  4502. >"So it's a... Dangerous love?"
  4503. >You grimace a bit.
  4504. "No. It's a... Fragile one. Still new. Fresh. Growing. Losing it won't kill you, but if you do lose it, you need to toss it away and don't look back. But also, you know what it can grow into. Something big and beautiful, that will make you soar higher than you ever did before."
  4505. >"That's... Beautiful, Spitfire. You mighty pegasus poet-warrior, you."
  4506. >You blush as he kisses you on the ears.
  4507. "Yeah, yeah, ham it up, big guy. You have more important things to worry than words right now."
  4508. >"Such as?"
  4509. "Such as the spear I'm feeling in your pants. What's this? Did you bring unregulated weapons into a wrestling match?"
  4510. >He snorts as he tenses up and finally notices it.
  4511. >"...You've been rubbing me off."
  4512. "So I have. You captured me. Congratulations. I'm a bad captive, though. I'm trying to break free and steal your spear. What are you going to do about it?"
  4513. >He thinks for a few moments and grins.
  4514. >"Well, the first thing I need to do is to tie you up properly. Put you in some actual bindings."
  4515. >You're confused. What?
  4516. >It's not like he has rope. What's he planning?
  4517. >DOES he have rope? In his backpack, maybe?
  4518. >You gulp nervously as he carries you across the room. Bondage is not something you're eager to try.
  4519. >Getting tied up is a universally unpleasant experience for pegasi.
  4520. >He reaches down with his hand, coming back with...
  4521. >A sock. Of course.
  4522. >You huff as the tension releases from your body.
  4523. >With a snigger, he pulls it over one foreleg, looking you in the eyes the entire time.
  4524. >You just roll your eyes, though you can't keep a small smile off your face.
  4525. >One by one, he pulls the socks on all your legs, grinning all the while and giving you the occasional kiss on the nose.
  4526. >You give him a defiant look.
  4527. "Nice try, but I'm not giving up that easily. Your bindings won't hold me!"
  4528. >With a sock-clad hoof, you rub his stallionhood through his pants, feeling him throb in response.
  4529. >Anon grunts, holding you tighter.
  4530. >"You leave me no choice, captive. Cease immediately, or I'll have to stab you with my spear. Many, many times, until you stop moving."
  4531. "Pegasi never surrender!"
  4532. >"Suit yourself. I gave you plenty of warnings."
  4533. >He carries you to the bed, slamming you on the soft surface.
  4534. >You snigger as he rolls you over on your back, getting ready to rail you dolphin style again.
  4535. >You use your hindlegs to catch his pants and pull them down, running your tail along his length again.
  4536. "So careless with your weapon, I think I'll just- aaaaaah!"
  4537. >You moan loudly as he shoves the entire thing in you with one long, firm stroke.
  4538. >"Shush now. Meet your end with some dignity."
  4539. "It'll- ah! Take more than- Ah! Oh, buck- Ah!"
  4540. >You give up on the impromptu roleplay, pressing your hindlegs around his waist as he carries out his threat, "stabbing" you with his "spear" over and over.
  4541. >You're still a little miffed that he was able to overpower you so easily, though you're angry at yourself, not him.
  4542. >Still, the ending is totally worth it, and the perfect way to end an impromptu wrestling match.
  4543. >Well, more like an impromptu tournament. You did go at it a whole bunch of times.
  4544. >Letting him have his win, you relax completely and let him do whatever he wants to you.
  4545. >Though you do make sure to at least flex your inner muscles to knead him when he's fully inside you.
  4546. >Neither one of you say anything, just letting your primal desires to take over.
  4547. >It doesn't take long with the furious pounding, and soon enough, Anon is grunting, his entire length rammed inside as his balls slap against your tailhole, pumping his essence through his throbbing stallionhood.
  4548. >For your part, you're a panting, moaning mess, a stupidly wide smile on your face.
  4549. >You heard plenty of stories from other mares, about how hard it is to get stallions to rut them in the way they like.
  4550. >Meanwhile, Anon has no hesitation whatsoever about really ramming himself inside you, just the way you like it.
  4551. >You wrap all your legs around him, rubbing his back with the socked limbs as he pants and lays down on top of you.
  4552. >He tries to shift away, but you pull him back again, licking his neck.
  4553. "Stay a while. On top of me. Inside me. With me. Please."
  4554. >"Alright."
  4555. >His long frame completely covers yours, but it's a small price to pay.
  4556. >You keep slowly licking him, collecting the beads of sweat.
  4557. >He snakes his hands underneath you, rubbing your wing joints and making them shiver.
  4558. >As always, though, the fun has to end, and once again, you pull the socks off for bathtime.
  4559. >This time, you decide to go for a full soak, letting the bath fill.
  4560. >"Not planning to get sweaty any more today?"
  4561. "No. Are you? I'd be more than happy to, if you feel the need."
  4562. >He scratches his chin before shrugging.
  4563. >"I *could*, but there's more to life than sex. I mean, when we meet next, the first thing I'm going to do is probably grab you and drag you off to bed, but I'm good for today."
  4564. >You chuckle.
  4565. "That's not what's going to happen, Anon. Next time we see each other, I'm pulling your pants down and gargling on your balls."
  4566. >"You could try. But remember who's the superior wrestler here."
  4567. "Aww. You'd deny your mare her needs like that?"
  4568. >"...No."
  4569. "Good s- man."
  4570. >"This is it, then? We eat dinner, chat a bit more, and the next morning, you're off?"
  4571. >You nod with a small sigh, making small waves in the water with your wings.
  4572. "Yup. Most of the time, we actually make it back to the base in the evening, and sleep there. But I think I'd like to spend the night with you."
  4573. >"Alright. Won't that make you late for work?"
  4574. "Nah. I fly fast. Just need to set up an alarm. Hmmm... Don't think there's an alarm clock in here..."
  4575. >"I can set one up on my phone."
  4576. "Nice. I'll probably see you on Friday, then. I could maybe make my way here and back during the weekdays, but..."
  4577. >"As I said before, don't feel obliged to do anything that is detrimental to your career or anything like that. I'm not trying to monopolize your time."
  4578. "Right. Anyway, if I do come to Canterlot, it'll be to deal with the real estate agents. That might keep me busy for a week or two. I'll update you on that when we meet next."
  4579. >"Alright."
  4580. >You finish the rest of the bathing in silence, the only sounds being the quiet splashes of water as Anon plays with your tail. Or mane. Or wings. Or other body parts.
  4581. >He's seriously insatiable about touching you, though you can't exactly complain much, given how much you smell and lick him when the opportunity presents itself.
  4582. >Once you're out and mostly dried, you go to sit down on the couch again.
  4583. "So, you're going to be alright, right?"
  4584. >"Hm? Without you? Sure, I'll live."
  4585. "I meant more like... With the paparazzi lurking outside."
  4586. >He grins.
  4587. >"Ooooooh. Right. You know, I completely forgot about those little bastards."
  4588. >You shake your head with a small smile.
  4589. "I'm really happy that you're taking it so well."
  4590. >"Eh. I had to deal with plenty of annoying people over the years. Doesn't mean I like them, but they won't bother me. Now I'm just deciding whether to stay here and make them waste time, or go out and annoy the crap out of them. Probably a bit of both."
  4591. "How are you going to annoy them? If they get photos of you, that's a win for them either way."
  4592. >"The magic of... Clothes!"
  4593. >He goes to his backpack and starts digging through it.
  4594. "Alright, what sort of weird human stuff are you up to now?"
  4595. >"Nothing that weird. I thought that it might be colder than I'm used to in Equestria, so I brought some fairly warm clothes. They did come in handy up here on the mountain, though I never needed the whole hat and scarf setup yet."
  4596. >He pulls out those exact two items, putting them on.
  4597. >You expected the hat to be something fancier, but it's just a basic winter cap that he stretches over his head.
  4598. >And then, he wraps his scarf around the rest of his face so tightly, there's a barely visible gap left for his eyes.
  4599. >"How much use do you think a photo like this would be?" He asks, his voice muffled slightly.
  4600. >You shake your head with a grin.
  4601. "You're an evil genius, Anon. Maybe I should do something similar."
  4602. >"Wouldn't work for you. You have a very distinct look, and they already know who you are. I'm a complete unknown, and like this, I'll remain that way. And if they try to rip it away from me, that's assault, isn't it? I'd get to defend myself?"
  4603. "Absolutely."
  4604. >"Awesome. I'm going to have fun."
  4605. "Don't get carried away too much. Don't want to make a slip."
  4606. >"I won't."
  4607. >After that, neither one of you feels like discussing anything to do with relationships or serious topics any more. The two of you order dinner, and you chat about things unrelated to you, like clouds, weather management, how humans use electricity on their world, what foods ponies and humans eat and don't eat, and so on.
  4608. >Once night comes, Anon sets up the alarm clock, and with a kiss and a nuzzle, you go to sleep.
  4609.  
  4610.  
  4611. >You wake up to unfamiliar, oddly crisp-sounding music.
  4612. >You wonder briefly why does it sound like it's right next to you, until Anon shifts and it stops.
  4613. >Was that the alarm clock?
  4614. >He gently runs his hand across your face, rubbing your cheek.
  4615. >"Wakey wakey, Spitfire..."
  4616. "I'm awake."
  4617. >"I guess you'll be going, then."
  4618. "Yeah..."
  4619. >He shakes his head and kisses you on the nose.
  4620. >"No need to drag this out, then. We're both mature adults here. Just go. The faster you go, the sooner you'll come back."
  4621. >You smile nuzzling him.
  4622. "Thanks, Anon."
  4623. >Getting out of bed, you quickly trot to the bathroom to brush your teeth and empty your bladder.
  4624. >After that's there's a second of hesitation.
  4625. >You slip on the bomber jacket, but the socks...
  4626. >There's no way in Tartarus you're bringing those to the Wonderbolt's HQ.
  4627. >As unlikely as it is for someone to dig through your locker...
  4628. >Nope. Just nope.
  4629. "Anon, I'm leaving the socks to you. There's no way I'm bringing them to the base."
  4630. >He chuckles.
  4631. >"Alright, I'll keep them nice and safe."
  4632. "...See you on Friday, then."
  4633. >You zoom in for another quick nuzzle, hugging him with a smile before flying towards the door.
  4634. >Once you're out, you waste no time.
  4635. >Accelerating to the limit of acceptable speed indoors, you make your way towards the main entrance.
  4636. >And once you're on the other side of that, all limits are off.
  4637. >You flap with all your might, rocketing away with a massive WHOOSH.
  4638. >If there were any paparazzi lurking nearby, you're fairly certain they didn't manage to even seen you in time, let alone get any photos.
  4639. >You swiftly make it to a post box, dropping off the letters before ascending rapidly and leaving Canterlot's airspace.
  4640. >With a confident grin, you rocket your way towards the HQ in the pre-dawn light, the Sun rising moments before you enter the familiar airspace.
  4641. >Trotting the familiar grounds, you make your way towards the runway, where everyone else is assembling as well.
  4642. >You're not the only one to come in from the outside, though you get a lot of surprised looks, since you've never been one to do it before.
  4643. >Fleetfoot shoots you a grin and an eyebrow wiggle before taking her spot.
  4644. >You sweep across the formation with a critical look, examining your team for any slip-ups in discipline or signs of hangovers and the like.
  4645. >Everything looks good.
  4646. "Alright, featherbrains, morning workout time! Want breakfast?! Earn it!"
  4647. >"YES, MA'AM!"
  4648.  
  4649. ****
  4650.  
  4651. >It's easy to fall into the familiar routine.
  4652. >You were a little worried that thinking about Anon would distract you, but you were doing fine.
  4653. >Better than fine, even.
  4654. >Much like Fleetfoot's, your flying seems to have improved just a touch.
  4655. >Intense de-stressing really helps, huh.
  4656. >A few others ask you about you spending the night outside the HQ, which you simply put it down as "business in Canterlot"."
  4657. >They accept that without question, assuming that you had to deal with bureaucracy or something like that.
  4658. >Fleetfoot gets a bit more attention, given her antics the past week.
  4659. >Mares just shake their heads when she gives her explanation, though you can see that a few are somewhat curious now.
  4660. >Everyone was dismissive of her "humans" explanation at first, but, after seeing that she was sticking to it, they begin asking her tentative questions.
  4661. >Good for them. Maybe they'll find men for themselves, too.
  4662. >...Is the entire team going to shack up with humans? The mares, anyway.
  4663. >Well, who cares. It's not for you to control your team's personal lives.
  4664. >Hours go by, and then, days.
  4665. >The secretary that's in charge of sorting the massive amounts of fan mail from the important stuff brings you your daily batch, with several personal letters.
  4666. >You read the addresses on them.
  4667. >Jackpot.
  4668. >One by one, you slice open the envelopes, reading the contents.
  4669. >You weren't sure whether you were going to go through all three realtor agencies or pick one, but the replies make it a fairly easy decision.
  4670. >Two of them are just generic corporate replies, with a touch of sucking up.
  4671. >"We are most honored that such an illustrious pony would show interest in acquiring property in our fair city, blah blahdy blah..."
  4672. >"Our work times are this and that, and we'd be very happy to set up an appointment whenever it is most comfortable for you..."
  4673. >Feh.
  4674. >They're writing as if you're stupid. You know what their working times are, since you saw them in the damned ads you read.
  4675. >And that's it.
  4676. >The third letter is more promising.
  4677. >"We are very happy that you chose to contact our humble company, Captain! We understand that your schedule is extremely tight, and we'd be happy to accommodate you whenever you wish, including arranging a special weekend showing, if you would like. Equestria's heroes deserve no less, after all! In fact, we took the liberty to add a few photos of the properties we think fit your criteria the best. We have few houses on the ground that we think would suit you - they either smaller homes, or massive mansions. However, we do have a number of very promising pegasus apartments..."
  4678. >You shuffle through the photos and the short descriptions of the properties.
  4679. >Well, these gals certainly went above and beyond in their service.
  4680. >You even see a couple places you might like.
  4681. >You memorize the company name.
  4682. >"Real & Tor's Realtors"
  4683. >Grabbing some paper and a pen, you begin writing a reply.
  4684. >With a couple back and forth letters, you agree on a tour of the properties on Friday evening.
  4685. >It means you'll have to grab Anon and go there immediately, which kind of puts a damper on your plan of huffing his balls the moment you meet up again.
  4686. >Still, sacrifices have to be made. And there's plenty more time in the day for some stress relief.
  4687. >The week goes by easily.
  4688. >You expected Fleetfoot to bug you about socks or Anon or something, but she's happily lost in her own world.
  4689. >Things with Incognito must have went well.
  4690. >The most she does is give you eyebrow wiggles and winks, to which you just roll your eyes, though you can't entirely keep a small smile off your face.
  4691. >You notice the other 'Bolts shooting you weird looks from time to time, but they don't say anything.
  4692. >Is the fact that you got laid really that noticeable?
  4693. >Not like you were grinning like a maniac, like Fleetfoot did.
  4694. >Guess you really, really, really needed that.
  4695. >Well, whatever. You have Anon now, and hopefully, this means you won't turn into some screwed up cunt, like Fleetfoot said you were.
  4696. >Friday comes around quickly, and soon, you're sending the team off.
  4697. >*FWEEEEEEEEEET!*
  4698. >Putting the whistle down, you nod to the assembled pegasi.
  4699. "Alright, everyone, good work this week. Now get lost!"
  4700. >"Yes, captain!"
  4701. >"Woo! Time for cider!"
  4702. >With a bunch of flapping sounds, most of them disperse.
  4703. >You notice that a couple approach Fleetfoot, looking a tiny bit apprehensive.
  4704. >Misty Fly and High Winds.
  4705. >You do your best not to snort from laughter when you overhear what they're saying.
  4706. >"So tell us more about those weird aliens."
  4707. >"Yeah, I remember from those bodyguard missions that they're really gangly. You're actually into them? I like my stallions with a bit more padding on them."
  4708. >She shakes her head.
  4709. >"You're right, but remember, they're also bigger than a pony. And trust me, they have padding where it counts. Their limbs are just slender and graceful."
  4710. >"Graceful, huh? Well, their legs are pretty nice, I guess..."
  4711. >Well, looks like Fleetfoot's going to be busy being a wingmare again.
  4712. >Good for her.
  4713. >You trot to your office, tidy things up, retrieve the bomber jacket, and lock the door.
  4714. >All of that done, you trot outside, thinking about taking off.
  4715. >To your surprise, the other three are still there, talking about something.
  4716. >You flap your wings, but Fleetfoot notices you and follows along as you aim for Canterlot, the others joining in the formation.
  4717. >"Hey Spits!"
  4718. "Hey Fleet. What are you up to?"
  4719. >"Well, it seems that I'm starting up a side gig as a guide to alien cultures. I should start charging ponies!"
  4720. >Misty Fly snorts.
  4721. >"I'll buy you a cider if any of the manure you've been telling actually turns out to be true."
  4722. >Fleetfoot shakes her head.
  4723. >"Oh ye of little faith..."
  4724. >"Come on, you really expect us to believe even half of the stuff you're telling? Captain, do you have any clue what got into her? She wasn't ever the type to make stuff up like a colt."
  4725. "No need to captain me now, Misty. And... I don't know what she's been telling you specifically, but she's probably not making it up."
  4726. >Fleetfoot cackles.
  4727. >"See?! She doubted me as well! Dragged me to her office and declared that she thought I was on drugs! ME! ON DRUGS! I am Fleetfoot! I don't need any damn drugs to leave even her in the dust! But I showed her, oh yes!"
  4728. >It takes a little effort to keep your expression neutral. Misty Fly and High Winds have more trouble with that, staring at the two of you with clear disbelief.
  4729. >They keep glancing at you and Fleetfoot as you fly, as if expecting you to blow up at her.
  4730. >When nothing of the sort comes, they're even more confused.
  4731. >"...No way."
  4732. >Misty Fly is still doubtful, it seems.
  4733. >High Winds is curious, though.
  4734. >"C- Spitfire, um, what did she mean when she said "I showed her"?"
  4735. "She, uh..."
  4736. >You're not sure how much to say at first, until you remember the paparazzi.
  4737. >Photos or not, there's probably dozens of articles about you and Anon already.
  4738. >They'll find out through the newspapers anyway, sooner or later.
  4739. >Especially after today, since you're going to be trotting out and about in public.
  4740. "Last week, after that thing in my office - yes, that happened - she called me out on my... Behavior. Said I was slowly turning from a hardflank into a cunt."
  4741. >All three of them snort and laugh, though they don't say anything.
  4742. >You smile as well, continuing your tale.
  4743. "After some self-examination, I tentatively agreed to her assessment. And, as a good friend, Fleetfoot offered to help me. She thought that my mental state was being severely negatively affected by a... Lack of companionship of the male persuasion."
  4744. >"Intimate companionship!" Fleetfoot yells out helpfully.
  4745. >Yeah, as if that wasn't obvious.
  4746. >This time, the laughter is even louder, the other two cheering with approval.
  4747. >"Woop woop! Gotta get something long and straight in ya now and then, or you won't be able to fly straight!"
  4748. >"You'll fly extra funny if you overdo it, though, but it's so worth it!"
  4749. >The four of you chortle and make dirty jokes and innuendos until what you and Fleetfoot said actually hits them.
  4750. >Misty Fly turns toward you with curiosity.
  4751. >"Wait, wait, so... You finally got laid? Some of us kind of assumed that you just got very good at being sneaky and had fun with colts anyway."
  4752. >You shake your head.
  4753. "Nope. First time I had roll in the hay in years. And Celestia, what a roll it was."
  4754. >"Wooo! Spitfire got herself a pogo-stick to bounce on! Maybe now she won't take out all the pent-up sexual frustration on us! Hahahah!"
  4755. >You feel your smile instantly twist into a snarl.
  4756. "HE'S NOT A POGO STICK!"
  4757. >"Whoa!"
  4758. >Misty Fly flaps away in a panic, losing distance rapidly before tentatively approaching you again.
  4759. >"Right, so... Seems like you still have a lot of pent-up aggression there, captain... eheh-heh..."
  4760. >You snort, trying to keep your anger in check.
  4761. >"Look, uh, I didn't mean anything by it. You know that. Just... If he's not a pogo stick, what is he to you?"
  4762. >You sigh, pushing the anger away. She's right. There's absolutely no reason for her to think Anon would be anything else than stress relief.
  4763. "Sorry for exploding on you. I know that it's unexpected and hard to believe. I still have trouble believing it myself, to be honest. That I have a coltfriend. A bloodfeather."
  4764. >This time, all three stare at you, even Fleetfoot.
  4765. >High Winds gets closer, tapping her hooves together with a careful smile.
  4766. >"Congratulations, I think?"
  4767. >Slowly, the other two's expressions morph into smiles as well.
  4768. >"Yeah! Congrats, Spits!"
  4769. >"What she said. Um, I hope it works out for you?"
  4770. "I certainly hope it does. It looks promising so far."
  4771. >Misty Fly taps her chin.
  4772. >"So all that stuff Fleetfoot has been telling about humans... About how... Wild and desperate they are in bed..."
  4773. >You remember your first time with Anon with a grin.
  4774. "Oh, that part's all true. You do need to work for it a bit, but it's totally worth it."
  4775. >"Hmmmmmmmmm..."
  4776. >High Winds and Misty Fly share a glance while Fleetfoot puffs up in pride.
  4777. >"I told you flankheads! And you kept saying that I was making stuff up for two weeks straight! Now, I might be a cool and forgiving mare, but if you call me a liar again, I'm gonna cram a cumulonimbus into your lockers next time!"
  4778. >High Winds holds her hooves up.
  4779. >"Hey, you can't blame us! Those stories were completely unreal!"
  4780. >Fleetfoot snorts.
  4781. >"Out of this world, you might say?"
  4782. >"Well, yeah..."
  4783. >"Like the... Out-of-this-world aliens?"
  4784. >"...Right."
  4785. >Misty Fly licks her lips, her eyes sparkling with excitement.
  4786. >"So, uh, do we, you know, have to get into a relationship with them? Do humans understand one-night stands?"
  4787. >Fleetfoot rolls her eyes at that.
  4788. >"No, you don't have to get into anything you don't want to. And yes, they know what a roll in the hay for fun is. Spitfire and I aren't pushing our relationships on anyone."
  4789. >"Wait, your relationship*S*?! You got a human coltfriend too?!"
  4790. >"...Yeah. His name is Incognito."
  4791. >"Wow. Okay. Lotta lovebirds around here all of a sudden. What, did Princess Cadance swing by when I wasn't looking and shot your butts full of love arrows?"
  4792. >Fleetfoot and you both laugh at that.
  4793. >High Winds looks pensive, though.
  4794. >"You two know that, statistically speaking, one of your relationships is going to crash and burn, right? The military mare's curse didn't exactly disappear last I checked, and you don't look like you're planning to retire any time soon."
  4795. >You share a look with Fleetfoot, the two of you sharing identical, knowing grins.
  4796. "Humans are different, High Winds. We're pretty sure this is going to work out."
  4797. >"...Okay. Best of luck to you with that."
  4798. >Misty Fly shakes her head.
  4799. >"Well, like she said, good luck, but I want a pegasus for a hubby, thank you very much. But hey, if they're so great in bed, I do have my needs. Don't want to turn into Spitfire, after all."
  4800. >High winds and Fleetfoot snerk while you give her a glare.
  4801. "It'd take a lot more than that to turn into me, smartflank."
  4802. >Fleetfoot shakes her head.
  4803. >"Just treat them nice, alright? Their mares treat them like crap, but that's not an excuse to do the same."
  4804. >"Hey, I'm not some dry-cunt husband beater, I know how to treat a stallion right. As long as they do the same. I don't have time to waste on clit-teasing bastards."
  4805. >"That's fine."
  4806. >"So how do you approach them, anyway? They got some weird alien courting rituals?"
  4807. >"Well..."
  4808. >Fleetfoot begins explaining some basic things about humans to them as Canterlot's walls come into view.
  4809. >You call out to them.
  4810. "Well, gals, this is my stop. You have fun, but I actually have a business appointment to deal with first. See you back in the HQ."
  4811. >"Alright cap, see ya!"
  4812. >"Catch ya later, Spits!"
  4813. >"Good luck, Spitfire."
  4814. >With a nod, you flap away, following the wall towards the hotel.
  4815. >As you approach, you scan the area.
  4816. >Curiously, there don't seem to be buzzards flying about.
  4817. >...Nope, there goes one.
  4818. >You pick up speed when you see the flash of a camera.
  4819. >"Captain Spitfire! Would you like to comment on-"
  4820. >The rest of it is taken away by the wind as you completely ignore her.
  4821. >Well, you probably should have expected this. Even if Anon managed to annoy them into giving up for the moment, your schedule isn't exactly secret, and setting up ambushes as you leave work is a standard paparazzi tactic.
  4822. >You're tempted to blast through the hotel to Anon's room, but you know that making such a scene would only massively backfire on you.
  4823. >Landing in front of the doors, you enter the lobby, giving a polite nod to the receptionist and trotting towards the stairs.
  4824. >It's mostly empty, a few ponies cantering about, with one sitting on a couch near a low table with a stack of newspapers.
  4825. >She's just pretending to read, though, since the moment she sees you, she casually drops it on the floor and yanks out a camera from a saddlebag.
  4826. >You roll your eyes and close them briefly as the camera goes off.
  4827. >"Captain Spitfire, what are your comments on the rumors about you getting romantically entangled with an interdimensional alien?"
  4828. "No comment."
  4829. >"So you deny the rumors of you leaking security secrets to your lover who's possibly a foreign agent?"
  4830. >...What.
  4831. >You actually stop briefly as the sheer idiocy of the question hits you.
  4832. >That's the problem with paparazzi, they don't just annoy you, they try to bait you into saying moronic things that have nothing to do with reality.
  4833. >Without a word, you begin trotting again, not even deigning to give her an answer.
  4834. >You're pretty sure there's no rumors of the sort at all. She just pulled it from her tailhole.
  4835. >She keeps hovering next to you, though, blabbing non-stop.
  4836. >"Some ponies have seen your second in command with a human as well, what are your comments about the alleged human comfort stallions brought in for orgies into the Wonderbolt's HQ?"
  4837. >Yup, more cowmanure questions.
  4838. >When you approach the stairs, though, you smile faintly when you see a couple burly earth pony porters directed by a unicorn mare standing there.
  4839. >The unicorn clears her throat.
  4840. >"Pardon me, ma'am, do you have a room in our establishment?"
  4841. >"No, I'm just here to ask the captain a few questions. Now then, cap- Eeek!"
  4842. >She's yanked to the ground by the tail with magic, while the two earth ponies close in on her and squish her from both sides with smug grins.
  4843. >"Hey, you can't-"
  4844. >"Oh yes we can. Private property, buzzard. Girls, show her the exit, will you?"
  4845. >"Yes, ma'am!"
  4846. "Thanks."
  4847. >"My pleasure, captain."
  4848. >You make your way towards Anon's room, taking a breath and knocking on the door.
  4849. >"No solicitors!"
  4850. >You snort.
  4851. "Anon, it's me."
  4852. >"Spitfire!"
  4853. >You zoom inside the moment he opens the door, pressing against him with your entire body and wrapping every single limb around him, from your tail to your wings.
  4854. >"Wow, okay. I missed you too."
  4855. "Shush. Give me a minute."
  4856. >You nuzzle his neck, wiggling your muzzle under his clothes and taking a deep breath.
  4857. >Pleasant shivers run across your body as you fill your nostrils with his scent.
  4858. >You give him a little lick too, sighing in pleasure.
  4859. >His hands trail along your body, his fingers engulfing your cutiemarks and squeezing firmly.
  4860. "No, stop."
  4861. >"Hm? I thought this is what you wanted?"
  4862. >You pull your muzzle out and give him a kiss on the cheek.
  4863. "Yes, I do want it, but there are important things we need to do."
  4864. >"Alright, what's up?"
  4865. >You look at the clock on the wall.
  4866. "I made an appointment with a realtor agency. It's in... Thirty minutes."
  4867. >"Oh, huh. You work fast."
  4868. "Damn right I do."
  4869. >"Feel like a quickie, then?"
  4870. >You snigger as you kiss him on the nose.
  4871. "Don't tempt me, stud. Some things are better done fast, but sex is not one of them. Anyway, dress up however you feel like and let's get going. I don't want to be late."
  4872. >"You could go without me."
  4873. >You shake your head.
  4874. "Out of the question, bloodfeather. You're the one who's going to live there more than I will. I'm not buying anything without your approval."
  4875. >"Alright then."
  4876. >He quickly puts on some clothes, including the scarf and hat.
  4877. >You snigger at the sight.
  4878. "So, did you manage to annoy the buzzards?"
  4879. >He chuckles.
  4880. >"Absolutely. Made them furious. Some even tried to blow them away by flapping their wings at me. Yeah, didn't work."
  4881. >You snort.
  4882. "Well, if they try to do that again, I'll flap them so hard, they'll get blown all the way to Manehattan. Anyway, let's go. Time's a wasting."
  4883. >"Just one thing real quick."
  4884. >You watch him as he flattens his tall frame, sneaking towards the windown.
  4885. "What...?"
  4886. >"I've been baiting this one for half an hour. Shh."
  4887. >He wiggles the curtains, and you see a shadow on the other side block out the light, the faint outline of a pony visible.
  4888. >Anon suddenly jumps up in front of the curtains, yelling and waving his arms.
  4889. >"OOGA BOOGA BOOGA!!"
  4890. >"Eeeek!"
  4891. >You hear a muffled shriek, and the shadow disappears.
  4892. >You can't help but laugh as Anon immediately jumps back and adjusts the curtains.
  4893. "Is this what you've been doing the entire time?"
  4894. >"Well, no. They would have caught on pretty fast. These things tend to only work once or twice. Anyway, let's go."
  4895. >The two of you leave the room, Anon giving you a quick ear scratch as you smile.
  4896. >You swat him with your tail to tell him to stop once you reach the stairs, though.
  4897. >Going down, you scan the lobby.
  4898. >Empty, but that will change the moment you step out.
  4899. >Taking a deep breath, you think of your years of military training, calling on your self control and discipline.
  4900. >Then you think of Anon's comforting scent flooding your senses.
  4901. >For some reason, the second bit seems to help you more.
  4902. "Alright, here goes."
  4903. >Anon's voice turns ponderous.
  4904. >"Never in my life did I think I'd get the celebrity treatment."
  4905. "Get used to it. Then again... They should lose interest eventually. Especially if you keep giving them nothing. Those buzzards still need to earn money to eat."
  4906. >Trotting through the door, you are immediately assaulted by the flashes of a good half a dozen cameras.
  4907. >Not as many as you expected, but any number bigger than zero is too big.
  4908. >As expected, they all start screaming questions, their stupid yelling turning into a mostly incomprehensible cacophony.
  4909. >"...getting retired, captain?!"
  4910. >"Is it true that humans can-"
  4911. >"- really taste like salt licks -"
  4912. >"Are the Wonderbolts hiring humans as-"
  4913. >Anon sniggers under his scarf while you roll your eyes.
  4914. "No comment."
  4915. >That's the extent of what you say before you wrap the tip of your tail around Anon's leg, leading him away.
  4916. >That little bit gets another round of camera flashes.
  4917. >The two of you walk in silence, surrounded by a cloud of paparazzi.
  4918. >You smirk a little as some of them bump into each other, one pair even dropping out of the air completely and yelling at each other.
  4919. >Morons.
  4920. >One daring one even tries to block your way, hovering in front of you while blathering something about stallions and humans.
  4921. >You flap your wings at her, making her lose her balance and pushing her aside.
  4922. >"Waugh!"
  4923. >She starts screeching about "press rights" and all that manure, but it doesn't work.
  4924. >A couple patrolling guardsmares notice the whole thing, and threaten to arrest her for obstructing a public road.
  4925. >She huffs, going back to hovering behind and around you.
  4926. "Thanks, gals."
  4927. >"Just doing our duty, ma'am."
  4928. >You reach the building with no further incidents, the buzzards having mostly given up on asking questions, just following along with cameras ready.
  4929. >The agency arouses their curiosity, a bunch of flashes going off as you go through the door.
  4930. >You demonstratively close the door behind you, though, and none of them have the teats to try and barge in.
  4931. >There is a secretary at a desk, giving you and Anon a curious look.
  4932. >"Ah... I believe I know why you're here. Captain Spitfire, yes? You're the last appointment of the day."
  4933. "That is me, yes."
  4934. >"Right this way, ma'am."
  4935. >She leads you to an office, knocking on the door and nodding to you.
  4936. >"Ma'am, the clients are here."
  4937. >A voice sounds out from the inside.
  4938. >"Excellent. We're done for the day, Script, you can pack up and go."
  4939. >"Thank you, ma'am."
  4940. >The two of you enter, Anon looking around before lowering his scarf.
  4941. >You check out the agent.
  4942. >Young-ish unicorn mare in a formal suit. Eager, slightly nervous.
  4943. >Doesn't look conniving, but you never know.
  4944. >"My pleasure to make your acquaintance, captain Spitfire. And, ah, sir. My name is Real Deal. I hope you found our suggestions adequate?"
  4945. >"Anonymous," Anon introduces himself.
  4946. >"Very well, sir, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, but if you're going to be part of the deal, your name is going be required on the documents."
  4947. >He grins.
  4948. >"No, that's my actual name."
  4949. >"...Oh."
  4950. >Is she the founder? Seems a bit too young.
  4951. "They were, yes, which is why I chose your agency over others. You're the "Real" in the "Real & Tor", huh?"
  4952. >She shakes her head with a smile.
  4953. >"Oh no no, I'm not nearly experienced enough to run the whole thing yet, and I'm certainly not the founder. Real Deep and Tor are my great, and add a dozen more greats there, grandmothers. A couple of miners that were prospecting the mountain and found some good claims, eventually moving into dealing in land rather than digging it up, or so the story goes. But, our company's history is not what you came here for. You're on a tight schedule, yes? Shall we get moving?"
  4954. "There's no need to run, my weekend is free from any obligations. But yes, let's get going."
  4955. >"Very well, ma'am. Sir."
  4956. "Oh, by the way, there's a gaggle of paparazzi waiting outside. Don't get blinded, and for your sanity, I suggest you ignore the questions they're going to yell at you."
  4957. >She looks a bit put out, clearly not having any experience with that sort of situation.
  4958. >"I... See. Well, you can count on me not to reveal any details of our business, ma'am."
  4959. "Perfect. Lead the way."
  4960. >She nods, getting out of the chair and levitating a small set of saddlebags onto her back.
  4961. >Trotting outside her office, she leads you towards the exit, retrieving a key from her jacket's pocket.
  4962. >Anon hides his face again with a grin.
  4963. >The three of you step outside, and Real Deal is immediately bombarded by camera flashes and inquiries about what sort of property you're acquiring.
  4964. >She folds her ears and presses her lips into a thin line, locking the door behind her and trotting away with nearly closed eyes.
  4965. >"Ma'am, why don't you tell us what the captain is buying? Purchases are a matter of public record, after all!"
  4966. >Real Deal weighs her options.
  4967. >"...Then you can look at the public record when she actually purchases something. I have no obligation to divulge my client's interests."
  4968. >"Is she settling down and buying a herd house?"
  4969. >"Uh, I just said..."
  4970. >"Any choices for foal rooms? Is she pregnant?"
  4971. >"How would I even-"
  4972. >You shake your head.
  4973. "Real, you're not legally obliged to give them any kind of answer whatsoever. You're also free to answer to absolutely everything with a "no comment"."
  4974. >"Ah. In that case, no comment. Thank you, ma'am."
  4975. "Don't mention it."
  4976. >The buzzards, naturally, look put out.
  4977. >You grin smugly at them as you trot through the streets.
  4978. >Real Deal leads you to an apartment block, trotting upstairs.
  4979. >The buzzards follow behind, staring intently at which door you're going to go through.
  4980. >Real Deal retrieves another key, unlocking a door and gesturing you in, giving a glare to the grinning paparazzi.
  4981. >Going in herself and closing the door, she groans.
  4982. >"My apologies if I seem unprofessional right now, ma'am, but Celestia's teats!"
  4983. >Both you and Anon chuckle.
  4984. >"It's fine. You're doing great."
  4985. >He scratches her neck soothingly, making her eyes go wide and her ears fold.
  4986. >You snigger at him when he awkwardly pulls his hand back.
  4987. >His grabby nature is going to get him in trouble one day.
  4988. >"Sorry."
  4989. >"It's- it's alright, sir, I, uh, appreciate the gesture?"
  4990. >Her eyes flash towards you nervously.
  4991. >You roll your eyes.
  4992. "Relax. It's a human thing. He wasn't flirting with you."
  4993. >It's still funny just how timid Anon was when he wanted to touch you at first, but now he can't stop grabbing ponies.
  4994. >"Oh, I see. Well, in that case, we should get to business, yes? Let's look around and see if you like the place. I would have told you more about it as we were walking, but, well. Anyway, this is a relatively new build, constructed twenty-three years ago. The previous owners are actually a herd of mostly unicorns, though they did say they liked the pegasus style apartments a lot..."
  4995. >She gives you various details as she leads you through the rooms.
  4996. >Anon scratches his chin.
  4997. >"I've been wondering what that term meant. Back home, we call these places penthouses. I'm guessing that pegasi like open spaces."
  4998. >"That is correct, sir, even their ground-based buildings tend to be open and airy, with enough space for a pony to hover and fly while another is on the floor. Some unicorns like it too, given that they can use magic to reach high spaces, but earth ponies dislike it, citing a waste of space, while the pegasi find their dwellings claustrophobic."
  4999. >"Well, I am just a bit too tall for most doors over in Equestria, so this is fairly nice."
  5000. >"I am very happy to hear that, sir."
  5001. >She leads you through the rest of the place.
  5002. >It's not bad. Certainly not as cramped as you expected it to be. Still, you're certainly not going to buy it on the spot without seeing what else is on offer.
  5003. >"...And that's it. Shall we go to the next one?"
  5004. "Lead the way."
  5005. >The process repeats two more times, the mare leading you through the city.
  5006. >At the third apartment, she sits down at a table, gesturing for you to join her.
  5007. >She takes off her saddlebags, taking out a bunch of files and spreading them on the table for you to see.
  5008. >"Now, ma'am, we do have more options for you, but they don't fit the criteria that you sent us in one way or another. For example, we have this lovely place in the southern side of the city, but it only has two bedrooms. This house is the right size, but it's built in the earth pony style. This..."
  5009. >You sift through the files, nodding along.
  5010. >"And that's all we currently have on offer. So, did anything catch your eye?"
  5011. >You lean back, thinking about it.
  5012. >All of the apartments looked pretty nice. There weren't any obvious faults that you could see.
  5013. "Anon?"
  5014. >He shrugs.
  5015. >"Honestly, it's hard to say. All three of them looked nice. Way bigger and fancier than anywhere I ever lived in. They certainly don't look like they have issues like poor ventilation or mold either, from what I could see."
  5016. >"Oh no, sir, that's not going to be an issue. Canterlot has VERY strict building codes. Urban legends say that they were put in place when a building collapsed, and took several others tumbling down the mountainside. Princess Celestia clamped down hard on shoddy constructions in her city after that happened."
  5017. >"Huh. Good to know."
  5018. "In that case, the question becomes: which one is cheaper, and which one can we buy the fastest?"
  5019. >Real Deal bites her lip.
  5020. >"Those are two separate answers, I'm afraid. The property on Marble street has the lowest price, but both it and the very first - the Azalea street one - are for sale by the owners, which would mean setting up an appointment and then extra time spent negotiating, if you wanted to bargain. Meanwhile, for this place, I have been granted power of attorney by the owners to sell it on their behalf, but they told me that they'll only accept the asking price. However, if it is acceptable to you, you could sign the contract and get the keys today."
  5021. "Hmm... What time is it?"
  5022. >The unicorn floats a pocketwatch from her chest pocket.
  5023. >"Quarter past seven, ma'am."
  5024. "I don't think the banks are still open, so I won't be able to actually buy it today, even if I sign it. And this place needs some things, anyway."
  5025. >"Ah. True. My apologies."
  5026. "Still... Anon?"
  5027. >"Yeah?"
  5028. "Go on."
  5029. >You lean against him, gently nuzzling his cheek.
  5030. >He slowly lets out a long breath, looking around.
  5031. >It's a pretty big place, with a large herd bedroom, and four extra ones.
  5032. >Easily enough for a big herd plus family members, or guests.
  5033. >Bit much for just one person, but who knows what the future holds.
  5034. >Also pricy for just one mare, but you can still afford it and have a pile of bits left over.
  5035. >Anon gives you a look, almost as if he's reading your thoughts.
  5036. >"This place seems big for one person. And I mean it in the financial sense, as well."
  5037. >You grin and puff up.
  5038. "Anon, while I am a military mare with a military salary, I am also a Wonderbolt. Though a good chunk of our profits do go to the Crown, we still get a large slice of them. You have no idea just how much the merchandising department alone makes. I can afford this twice over, and still have money."
  5039. >"Yeah, I guess not paying you for your performing would cause you to just go independent."
  5040. "Buck yeah. I'm happy to do my duty to Equestria, but I'm damn well getting paid for being the best of the best."
  5041. >"Alright, well... I guess this is the place, then."
  5042. >Real Deal beams.
  5043. >"So, you'll take it?"
  5044. "Yeah. Prepare the contract. We'll do it first thing tomorrow."
  5045. >"Most excellent."
  5046. "Meet you at your office?"
  5047. >"Certainly, ma'am. As early as possible? Eight AM?"
  5048. "That works. I'll be there."
  5049. >You tell your goodbyes, and soon enough, you're standing outside while Real Deal trots away.
  5050. >A couple paparazzi go after her, but she seems to be holding up well enough and remaining quiet, the fact that she clinched a deal so fast giving her a pep in her step.
  5051. >Anon fidgets with his scarf thoughtfully.
  5052. >"I'd say let's go out for a drink to celebrate, but there seems to be a bunch of exotic birds still following us."
  5053. >You snort as you glance at the remaining paparazzi.
  5054. >It's only a couple, the others having given up and deemed the pictures of you and Anon sufficient for now.
  5055. >They're persistent, though.
  5056. >You could try going into some exclusive restaurant that wouldn't let them in...
  5057. >But the restaurant itself probably wouldn't be all that fun.
  5058. "Eh. Let's just find a store and buy ourselves a drink. We'll go back to the hotel to get some peace."
  5059. >"Sounds like a plan."
  5060.  
  5061.  
  5062. >You find a liquor store, picking out a whisky and looking at Anon questioningly.
  5063. >He shrugs.
  5064. >"Eh. I usually don't go for the strong spirits, but I think the occasion is fitting. Also, I don't feel like carrying a bunch of bottles of beer with me now."
  5065. >You nod and go to pay, slipping the bottle inside your jacket.
  5066. >You make your way back to the hotel, the paparazzi still shooting the occasional question.
  5067. >You keep your composure and remain silent, though, and they visibly hesitate when they approach the door.
  5068. >You can only guess that they've already been kicked out several times over the week while you weren't here.
  5069. >Going inside, you lean against Anon with a smile.
  5070. "Almost there."
  5071. >"Let's get going, then."
  5072. >The two of you make it to the room, closing the door with a sigh.
  5073. >You grimace as a need makes itself apparent, though.
  5074. "Alright, Anon... Time for an important choice."
  5075. >"What? Is this about the pent- the apartment?"
  5076. "Nope. Food or sex first?"
  5077. >He gives you a look before laughing.
  5078. >"Well, since I imagined it to be a long, passionate session followed by lots of cuddling, I'd say let's eat first."
  5079. >Your stomach agrees, while your cunt doesn't.
  5080. >Shut up. You'll get yours in time.
  5081. >Dumb organs.
  5082. >You order room service, asking for a couple glasses, as well.
  5083. >When the mare returns, you hoof her a whole pile of bits, her eyes going wide.
  5084. >"Uh, ma'am, that's so much! Why-"
  5085. "For the excellent service. Share them out among those porters that I saw dealing with those paparazzi."
  5086. >"Oh, I see. Thank you, ma'am!"
  5087. "Don't mention it."
  5088. >That done, you go for the food.
  5089. >You crack open the whiskey, pouring out shots for both of you.
  5090. >You both enjoy the food and the drinks, though you make sure not to overdo it.
  5091. >Don't want to cloud your enjoyment of what's to come, after all.
  5092. >And what comes (and cums) is amazing.
  5093. >The two of you make love with a furious passion, harder and even more enthusiastically than the first time you went at it.
  5094. >You're left exhausted, tired, and wrung out of great amounts of liquids in the most amazing of ways.
  5095. >You have just enough cognitive function left over to ask Anon to set up an alarm again.
  5096. >Washing up, you go to sleep, falling asleep almost immediately, with your head resting on Anon's chest.
  5097. >It seems like you just closed your eyes for a short moment before the alarm rings.
  5098. >You sigh, your tail twitching in mild agitation.
  5099. >Duty calls, as much as you'd like to stay with Anon longer.
  5100. >Anon stretches sleepily, reaching out for his phone and tapping it.
  5101. >"You awake?"
  5102. "Mmm... Yeah."
  5103. >He gently plays with your ears, making you smile.
  5104. >You press against him harder for a few moments, nuzzling his neck before standing up and getting out of bed.
  5105. >"So, what do I do now?"
  5106. "Hmmmm... Do you want to be there with me when I sign the deal?"
  5107. >He grimaces.
  5108. >"Paperwork? Meh."
  5109. >You snort with amusement.
  5110. "You know what? I think you should just get all of your stuff and go. Think you can find the way to the place?"
  5111. >"I... Yeah. I think I can."
  5112. "Do that, then. Today is the final day that I paid for anyway. I'll pay off all the room service and other extras that we ordered, and go to the agency. Then, we'll go to a bank, where I'll approve the transfer of funds and all that stuff. It'll take some time, but since I'm flying, I'll be quite fast. I might even beat you there. By the time you get to the place, it could be ours already. Actually, you should get breakfast first. Then I'll definitely get it over and done with by the time you arrive."
  5113. >"Awesome."
  5114. "I sure am."
  5115. >You go into the bathroom while she shakes his head with a smile.
  5116. >Brushing your teeth, you fix your mane a tiny bit, though you're mostly good otherwise.
  5117. >Donning the jacket, you kiss Anon on the cheek before flying off.
  5118. >Stopping by the lobby, you ask them to tally up all the stuff you ordered and write them a cheque, informing them that you're not going to extend the lease of the room.
  5119. >Once that's done, you go outside and get going.
  5120. >You don't even look whether there's still paparazzi following you, beelining straight for the agency.
  5121. >Going inside, you see the place is empty.
  5122. >Guess they usually open a bit later on Saturdays, if at all.
  5123. >Going towards the office, you knock on the door.
  5124. >"Ah, captain Spitfire, I presume. Come right in."
  5125. "Good morning, Real Deal. Got here a bit early?"
  5126. >"Yes, we do work on Saturdays, but most ponies prefer to sleep in at least a little on the weekend before going out to look at properties. Anyway, here you are."
  5127. >She slides a stack of papers towards you, which you take your time to read.
  5128. >While you are in a rush to acquire this property, you're not in so much of a rush that you're not going to even read the thing.
  5129. >There's a bunch of safety accreditations that you never heard of, since none of them apply to cloud buildings.
  5130. >Well, they seem to be in order. You have no clue if there's any missing, but you'll have to trust Real Deal on that one.
  5131. >She didn't seem like a conmare, so it's probably all okay.
  5132. >Address, the architectural schematics of the place, etc.
  5133. >Alright then.
  5134. >You've seen a fair share of contracts in your time, and this one looks fairly straightforward, with no squirrely language.
  5135. "Seems like everything is in order. Let's go to the bank."
  5136. >"Right away, ma'am."
  5137. >She takes the contract into her saddlebags, and the two of you go outside.
  5138. >The bank branch is not too far.
  5139. >You glance around as you trot.
  5140. >You're almost certain you're being followed, but they're being a tiny bit subtle this time.
  5141. >It's entirely expected. They want to know which property you're buying so they can keep stalking you and Anon when you leave the hotel.
  5142. >An idea starts forming in your head as you grin.
  5143. >Soon enough, you reach your destination.
  5144. >The two of you go inside the bank, approaching one of the tellers.
  5145. "Hello. I need to perform a large financial operation. I'm buying a property."
  5146. >"Understood, ma'am. I'll call up one of my associates in a moment."
  5147. >A few moments later, you're politely ushered into another office.
  5148. >A bunch of bureaucracy follows.
  5149. >Real Deal presents the contract and the papers that authorize her to sell it on the owner's behalf.
  5150. >You authorize the transfer of funds and sign a bunch of stuff.
  5151. >Copies are made for you, for Real's agency, and to be sent to the relevant government institutions, confirming the transfer of ownership to you.
  5152. >Finally, you're all done, and Real Deal pulls out a bundle of keys from her saddlebags.
  5153. >"This is it, ma'am. All yours. It was a pleasure doing business with you. Truly."
  5154. "Likewise."
  5155. >After some polite goodbyes to the banker and Real Deal, you're off.
  5156. >You fly through the sky, though not at full speed.
  5157. >Just slow enough for a non-elite flier to barely follow you.
  5158. >And some do, a few dots rising from the roofs of surrounding buildings.
  5159. >With a snort and a grin, you take a page out of Anon's book, and decide to screw with the buzzards.
  5160. >Instead of the property you actually bought, you blast off in the direction of a different one that you viewed yesterday.
  5161. >Quickly circling around, you pretend to land.
  5162. >Just pretend, though. Instead of doing that, you zoom and zig-zag at street level.
  5163. >Gaining some distance, you rise again, hiding behind the corner of a building.
  5164. >You watch as several pegasi approach the building, circling around and trying to peek at the windows.
  5165. >Ha!
  5166. >Won't fool 'em for long, but totally worth it.
  5167. >Quietly, you flap away, flying below the rooftop level to get to the actual apartment.
  5168. >You're tempted to fly in through the balcony, until you remember that it's all still locked up tight.
  5169. >Landing, you trot upstairs, excitement building in your gut with every step.
  5170. >On the final floor, you see Anon, sitting down on the floor while tapping his phone.
  5171. "Hey, Anon. You got here fast. You didn't have to wait long, did you?"
  5172. >"Well, I do have long legs, so I walk faster than you ponies. And no, only been here for ten minutes at most."
  5173. "Well then, check it."
  5174. >You pull the keys out of your jacket pocket, tossing them at him.
  5175. >He catches them easily, his expression a tiny bit apprehensive.
  5176. >"This is it, then."
  5177. >You trot closer, gently headbutting him and rubbing yourself against him.
  5178. "Don't tell me you're having second thoughts now."
  5179. >"No. But I am nervous. This is... A new chapter in my life. Massive change to go through in one week."
  5180. "You'll have time to adapt. No time to waste now, though. Come on, let's go in, and let's get moving. We'll need to buy a bunch of stuff today."
  5181. >"Right."
  5182. >He unlocks the door, and goes in.
  5183. >You follow behind him.
  5184. "So, that phone of yours can do lots of stuff. Can it work like a notebook, too?"
  5185. >"Sure."
  5186. "Alright, let's start writing stuff down. Priorities: Places to sleep, then food, then comforts."
  5187. >Your military nature takes over as you begin organizing stuff.
  5188. >The two of you trot to the bedroom, giving it a closer look.
  5189. >The apartment is not completely bare - the previous owners took almost everything small, but left the bigger furniture.
  5190. >The beds, a couch, a bunch of empty bookshelves, chairs, tables, it's all there.
  5191. >Those can all be replaced later if need be, but it's not a priority.
  5192. >There's no mattresses or bedding, so that's the first thing you need to get.
  5193. "Alright, Anon, start writing. Pillows, bedsheets, mattress..."
  5194. >Most of the things are not very large. Plates, cutlery, and so on. Still, the list adds up.
  5195. >You're a little apprehensive at going shopping with Anon, various horror stories of shopping trips with stallions playing out in your head.
  5196. >Still, he certainly bucked the trend in regards to those stereotypes so far, so you hope that your luck holds out in this instance, too.
  5197. "That's all I can think of right now. Any other big stuff?"
  5198. >Anon taps his chin.
  5199. >"Nothing big. Soap and shampoo, I think. Toilet paper. Towels. That's it."
  5200. "Alright then, let's get going. I don't know Canterlot's shops all that well, but I at least know where the streets with shops are. We'll find something, I'm sure."
  5201. >"Should we eat something first?"
  5202. >Hm. You're full of nervous energy, but food is important.
  5203. "Alright, let's find some cafe or something."
  5204. >You hover in the air, flapping back and forth.
  5205. >"You seem excited."
  5206. >You shrug.
  5207. "I am. This is a big change in my life too, you know. It's partially excitement, and partially my routine calling out to me. We usually have a morning exercise run before breakfast."
  5208. >"Well, feel free to fly about while I walk."
  5209. >You look at his tall frame and get an idea.
  5210. >With a smirk, you fly over to him, landing on his back.
  5211. "I have a different idea, stud."
  5212. >"Don't tell me you're getting frisky. You were all business moments ago."
  5213. "Anon, come on. I'm not with you just for sex, I told you."
  5214. >"Well, it's where my thoughts go when you call me "stud"."
  5215. "I'll keep that in mind. Anyway, no. How about a morning flight?"
  5216. >"I already said-"
  5217. "With me?"
  5218. >"...Oh."
  5219. >You nuzzle his neck from behind while he thinks. It doesn't take long.
  5220. >"Okay."
  5221. "Awesome. Come on, open the balcony. Let's leave pegasus style."
  5222. >"Alright."
  5223. >He's still a little tense, his steps slightly unsure.
  5224. >It's not nearly as bad when you flew with him the first time, though.
  5225. >He walks to the edge, standing there.
  5226. >There's a railing, but it's quite small for his tall frame.
  5227. >"So, um..."
  5228. "Go on."
  5229. >"You want me to just... Walk off the edge?"
  5230. >You kiss his cheek from behind.
  5231. "Don't you trust me, Anon? We flew once before."
  5232. >"Right, so, just to make sure: This isn't some weird pegasus prank?"
  5233. "I promise it's not. What would the prank even be? Letting you fall to your death?"
  5234. >"Yeah, okay. Here goes."
  5235. >You grin widely in anticipation as he carefully steps over the railing, straightening his body out and falling forward.
  5236. >You begin flapping the moment he starts falling, using gravity and momentum to move forward.
  5237. >Unlike the first time, you're not carrying him up from a static takeoff, so you immediately gain a lot of speed.
  5238. >Zooming forward, you use your eyes and nose to try and find the nearest open eatery.
  5239. >There's a few cafes, though Anon shoots them down.
  5240. >"Sorry, Spitfire, but I really don't feel like eating a sugary bun with sugary coffee for breakfast. Especially now, seeing as we'll need to walk around and lug a lot of stuff."
  5241. "Fair enough. I prefer something more solid myself. A body like this doesn't get built from sugar."
  5242. >You manage to find a place that offers more serious stuff, landing back down.
  5243. >Anon's a little windswept, but he's fine.
  5244. >You're winded, but in a good way, your muscles burning pleasantly from the exertion.
  5245. >His eyes are sparkling with excitement, and he kisses you on the nose.
  5246. >"You really know how to sweep a guy off his feet."
  5247. >You snort.
  5248. "I guess I'm getting a cheesy breakfast today."
  5249. >The two of you go in, ordering two greasy, filling breakfasts.
  5250. >Once you're done with that, you go outside, mentally mapping which way you need to go now.
  5251. >You don't feel like flying any more, so trotting it is.
  5252. >As you move, Anon frowns.
  5253. >"Darn. I didn't think to bring my scarf and hat this time."
  5254. >You consider it before shrugging.
  5255. "You don't want to have to wear those for the rest of your life, do you? And they'll probably manage to snap a picture of you sooner or later anyway."
  5256. >"Yeah, probably. Where are they, anyway?"
  5257. >You grin.
  5258. "I lured them to a different property than the one I bought."
  5259. >"Ha! Nice."
  5260. >The two of you chuckle and snigger at the paparazzi's expense as you reach the street you were looking for.
  5261. "Alright, this looks good. Toiletries- no, that's actual toilets. Hm..."
  5262. >"I see beds and furniture. I think they have mattresses too."
  5263. "Perfect."
  5264. >You go through the stores, ordering a bunch of stuff.
  5265. >Anon seems to expect that you'll need to carry it all yourselves. You just pay a bit extra to get it all delivered.
  5266. "Don't humans have deliveries for stuff?"
  5267. >He shrugs.
  5268. >"I think we had similar systems back in the day, but since everyone has cars these days, everyone can take just about everything except the really big stuff by themselves, so most shops don't offer deliveries any more."
  5269. "Huh. Everything's mechanized with you guys. Well, we have pegasi."
  5270. >"It is quite convenient when a third of your population can fly. Humans only really got into flying in the last century."
  5271. >One by one, you tick off the stuff you wrote down.
  5272. >You do get a few small things that you carry yourself, but the bulk of it is put on delivery.
  5273. >"Right. so... I think we're done. What now?"
  5274. "Home. Get all those deliveries. Unpack. And... Celebrate, I guess."
  5275. >"Home."
  5276.  
  5277. ******
  5278.  
  5279. >"Delivery!"
  5280. "Right this way."
  5281. >Having a place on the roof means you don't have to carry stuff up the stairs. Very convenient. The pegasi just haul the stuff in right through the doors.
  5282. >You and Anon unpack everything one by one, setting everything up.
  5283. >As you hoped, Anon proved to be pragmatic down to the bone. Even more than you hoped, really.
  5284. >Not a single extra item made it into the list.
  5285. >Not. One.
  5286. >He only cared about what he wrote down, ignoring all the extra stuff that he saw along the way or the things the salesmares tried to push on him.
  5287. >They'd light up with glee at first when they heard that he was buying for a nearly bare apartment, only to flip completely when he politely but firmly shot down every single suggestion.
  5288. >It took some effort not to laugh at their flabbergasted expressions.
  5289. >Amazingly, no paparazzi bothered you, either.
  5290. >You guess your trick was even more effective than you thought.
  5291. >You bounce on the bed, testing the mattress's springiness while Anon washes the dishes.
  5292. >You didn't eat anything yet, but he wanted to clean them off before using them anyway.
  5293. >Fixing the bed, you go to the kitchen, where Anon is finishing up.
  5294. >"So, what's the verdict?"
  5295. "The bed is nice. I don't think we forgot any of the essentials for anything else, either."
  5296. >"Almost. One thing, and one big decision."
  5297. "Yeah? You want to replace some furniture, or something?"
  5298. >He turns towards you with a grin.
  5299. >"No. It's close to getting dark already. It's been quite a few hours since we last ate, but we just finished setting up. So, Spitfire. Food or sex first?"
  5300. >You scrunch before sniggering.
  5301. "Alright, well... It's a tough choice, honestly."
  5302. >"Come on, let's go out to eat. We don't have any actual food here and even if we did, I'm certainly not confident about cooking anything for you."
  5303. "Fine, but we're rutting like animals when we get back."
  5304. >"No objections there."
  5305. >He takes the bundle of keys and disassembles it, giving you one and taking one for himself.
  5306. >Locking the door as you exit, you trot downstairs with him.
  5307. >"So, any plans for parties?"
  5308. "Huh? Well, my birthday's not quite close yet..."
  5309. >"I mean like a housewarming party, or something. Some people back home do that."
  5310. "Oh. Hmm..."
  5311. >You do have friends, and not just the ones in the 'Bolts. But they're kind of scattered across Equestria.
  5312. >Should you just invite the team? Would Anon be able to deal with it?
  5313. >Heh.
  5314. >Would they be able to handle Anon?
  5315. >It's really quite sudden.
  5316. >You shake your head.
  5317. "Ehhhh... Maybe sometime later. There's no rush. You still need to settle in. I'm sure something or other will come up, and there's extra stuff to get. We didn't buy bedding for the other bedrooms, for example, and most of my friends are pegasi, which means they live far away and would probably like to stay the night. There's not all that much seating. Maybe we need another or different couch. A couple other things. Maybe a beanbag or two. Scout out the area, find the shops nearby, stock the fridge..."
  5318. >"And learn to cook at least some basic party food. Right."
  5319. "Exactly. Maybe get other things, too."
  5320. >"Like what?"
  5321. "Like some of your fun human stuff?"
  5322. >"Oh. You'd like that?"
  5323. >You shrug.
  5324. "Sure, why not? Your phone alone plays music with a far clearer and better sound than the most expensive music player that I saw. And I heard about the other stuff you have. You have the technology to outright set up a movie theater in your home, don't you?"
  5325. >"Well, not literally, but yes. We could watch something on my laptop, but I guess it's a bit small, especially if it's for a party of people. Buying a bigger screen would be nice for movies, though I don't know how much it would cost here in Equestria."
  5326. "What's a lap-top?"
  5327. >"Oh, it's a device for... Lots of stuff."
  5328. >You roll your eyes.
  5329. "You humans just don't make simple technology, do you?"
  5330. >He grins.
  5331. >"Well, we used to, but when inventors kept finding ways to make things smaller and smaller, people thought, "well, why not just put a dozen devices into one?" It worked out well enough, I think."
  5332. "I never saw you use it, though."
  5333. >He shrugs.
  5334. >"It's in my backpack. We were too busy snuggling, talking, or having wild sex for me to think about it."
  5335. >You grin as you wrap your tail against his leg.
  5336. "Well, I'm planning to do a lot of the third thing tonight as well, but maybe you can show me that lap-top tomorrow. While there's still stuff to do, I feel like just relaxing for a bit."
  5337. >"Alright."
  5338. >After a while, you find an eatery with a menu that both of you like.
  5339. >Some ponies approach you, but fortunately, they turn out to be fans wanting an autograph.
  5340. >They're clearly very curious about Anon, but after stammering awkwardly for a few moments while you remain silent, they get the hint and go their way.
  5341. >The rest of the evening goes by without interruptions.
  5342. >You return to your new apartment, still feeling a bit odd at the fact that it's yours.
  5343. >You fly back and forth, closing all the curtains and bumping into Anon while grabbing him without slowing down the tiniest bit.
  5344. >He huffs a bit from the impact, but doesn't resist at all while you drag him to bed.
  5345. "Alright, well. The bed *looks* sturdy, but it's better to test that from the get-go. Now, how did you call that position where I'm on top and I ride you while flapping my wings? Let's do that one."
  5346.  
  5347. ******
  5348.  
  5349. >You wake up feeling better than you can remember feeling in years.
  5350. >A smile splits your muzzle, though you try to fight it down.
  5351. >You're not Fleetfoot, damn it. You can control your facial expressions.
  5352. >It takes some effort, though.
  5353. >Moving closer to Anon, you stretch a wing across his chest while you rest your muzzle against his neck.
  5354. >He wakes up soon after, gently rubbing your muzzle with his fingers.
  5355. >The two of you lay there for a while, slowly rubbing against each other.
  5356. >A strange, conflicting thought rises up in your head.
  5357. >You feel like rolling on top of him and riding him, but that feels like you'd ruin the moment somehow.
  5358. >How? Why? Sex only makes things better.
  5359. >It's not the first time you felt that, but it still bugs you.
  5360. >Is this what love feels like?
  5361. >...It's nice.
  5362.  
  5363.  
  5364.  
  5365. >Still, eventually, your stomach growls, and you slide out of bed with a sigh.
  5366. >The two of you perform your morning rituals, looking around your new place.
  5367. >Anon scratches his head.
  5368. >"Darn. We never got to buying any food yesterday. Not even eggs or bread or any other basic things."
  5369. "Guess we're going out once more."
  5370. >He chuckles.
  5371. >"Want to jump from the building again?"
  5372. >You grin, flexing your forelegs as you take to a hover.
  5373. "Think I can't handle it?"
  5374. >He shakes his head.
  5375. >"You've certainly shown that you can."
  5376. "Let's go, then!"
  5377. >"Let's just grab some bags for our shopping first."
  5378. >Equipping yourselves properly, you take the leap. Anon doesn't even hesitate this time.
  5379. >You look for an eatery first, landing as the passers-by observe you lugging Anon's alien form around curiously.
  5380. >He squints, rubbing his eyes.
  5381. "Oh... I should get you a pair of flight goggles if we're going to keep doing this."
  5382. >"Now that would be cool."
  5383. "I'll grab a pair from the academy. Authentic Wonderbolt equipment."
  5384. >"Heh. Don't get in trouble for stealing government property."
  5385. >You roll your eyes.
  5386. "I'll write it off from my salary. Come on, let's get inside before someone recognizes us."
  5387. >After eating, the next goal is food, though that's a bit more of an issue.
  5388. >You're really unfamiliar with local shops, so you end up asking the proprietor.
  5389. >She's a jolly old mare, and she's all too happy to help you out.
  5390. >It takes a bit of wandering to get the things you need due to Anon's exotic diet, but you manage.
  5391. >His choices are almost all protein and fat.
  5392. >Lots of eggs and cheese and a few smoked fish, and even a few fresh cutlets, too.
  5393. >He does get a loaf of bread from a bakery, though he's very particular about what kind.
  5394. >Apparently, some breads with bits of hay or grains are too rough on his stomach and simply undigestable to him.
  5395. >He gets really excited about some dirt-colored lumps he finds in one shop, though.
  5396. "What's this stuff? Doesn't look great."
  5397. >"Potatoes, Spitfire. Glorious potatoes."
  5398. "Alright..."
  5399. >Is it something from the human world? You'd think importing fresh produce would be too expensive.
  5400. >He fills a large bag, happily taking it to the cashier.
  5401. >The young mare's eye's light up when she sees Anon with the bag, and she smiles when she confirms what kind of stuff is in there.
  5402. >"Oh! Excellent! Ma-!"
  5403. >She trots in place, her head flipping back and forth as she attempts to both trot away and stay in place with the customer.
  5404. >"I'm so sorry, sir, just a moment please! MA!!!"
  5405. >She quickly gallops away, shouting something before returning and putting the bag on the scales and weighing it.
  5406. >An older mare trots out from somewhere in the back, appraising the two of you.
  5407. >"Good day to you, ma'am and sir. I hope it's not too much of a bother, but I would like just a minute of your time."
  5408. >You shrug while Anon nods.
  5409. "Sure."
  5410. >"I see you're interested in the foreign crop, yes?"
  5411. >You shrug again.
  5412. "I don't even know what it is. Looks like some kind of weird root, though I don't get why is it so round."
  5413. >"Well, it's a thing from the sir's homeland, I believe, called a potato."
  5414. >Anon nods excitedly.
  5415. >"There's loads of ridiculously similar plants in Equestria and Earth, even ones that only came about from thousands of years of selective breeding, such as corn and carrots and loads of other things. One thing that ponies don't seem to have is potatoes, though. Maybe because they're mildly toxic to equines back home, so your ancestors never picked them up."
  5416. >The shopkeep nods, smiling shrewdly.
  5417. >"Yes, indeed, but where there is demand with zero supply, there's going to be business-savvy ponies that are going to find out and rush to be the first ones fill that market. Now, I don't know if they're any good eating for us Equestrian ponies, but at least half or more of you humans that come around would ask for potatoes. You seem to be rather fond of the plant."
  5418. >"It's a fairly big staple of our diet, yeah. Kind of like hay for you ponies."
  5419. >"Good to know. Well, I let it slip to my suppliers, and some of them were interested enough to try their hoof at it."
  5420. "So they're Equestrian-grown?"
  5421. >"Yes ma'am. Now, this is a bit of a risk. A completely foreign crop, with an unreliable and unestablished market. You're the first one to buy them, in fact. So, if you could let it slip to your human friends that they can get their potato fix here, I'd appreciate it. Uh, of course, if the sir finds the taste to his liking. We don't entirely know if they grew them right, though my suppliers assured me that they followed the instructions they got from the humans very carefully."
  5422. >Ah. Of course. It's a marketing ploy. Or request, rather.
  5423. >"Well, if they're good, it'd be only fair to tell others, sure."
  5424. >"Very good, sir. We don't have all that many in stock, but if they turn out to be popular, we'll be more than happy to stock them all the time."
  5425. >Heh. And a subtle threat that if they don't turn out to be popular, she won't.
  5426. >You grin knowingly at the shrewd bussinessmare as you hoof her the bits for the purchase.
  5427. >Once you're standing outside, a thought suddenly comes into your head.
  5428. "Anon, is that about everything you need for now?"
  5429. >"I think so, yeah."
  5430. "Think you could bring it back yourself? I think I need to zip down to the bank real quick."
  5431. >"Oh, sure. No problem."
  5432. >You give him the things from your saddlebags, and take off.
  5433. >You don't usually carry lots of bits with you, so you almost ran out.
  5434. >Though this time, they're not just for you.
  5435. >Landing and trotting in, you nod to the teller.
  5436. "I'd like to make a withdrawal, please. Spitfire of the Wonderbolts."
  5437. >"Very well, ma'am, how much?"
  5438.  
  5439. *****
  5440.  
  5441. >You make your way to the apartment, careful not to lose your unusually heavy saddlebags.
  5442. >They're not exactly stuffed with bits, but there's a fair amount there.
  5443. >Landing outside, you go in through the outer doors.
  5444. >Anon peeks at you from the kitchen before going back in.
  5445. >"The fact that there's going to be ponies coming in from a door in a place that's on the roof of a building is going to take some getting used to."
  5446. "Not ponies. Just me. Speaking of... I should lock that. Don't want any creeps to get in."
  5447. >You do just that, going back to Anon.
  5448. >He's putting stuff in the cupboards and the fridge, almost done.
  5449. >Slinging your heavy saddlebags on the table, you wait for him to finish.
  5450. "Excited about your potatoes?"
  5451. >"Heh. Yeah. You would be too. They're like... Well, we make fries with them. Imagine not having hayfries ever again. Or other hay-based stuff."
  5452. "Hm. True. Anyway, Anon, I remembered something important. It's time for another serious talk."
  5453. >He raises his eyebrows as he cleans his hands and joins you at the table.
  5454. >"Alright. Lay it on me."
  5455. "Let's talk about finances."
  5456. >As you say that, you poke a saddlebag, the unmistakable jingle of coins sounding out from inside.
  5457. >His expression turns flat.
  5458. >"Aaaaaaaaah."
  5459. "Yup. This is actually something I've been a little worried about, though with all the other stuff, this ended up being a topic that I forgot to cover with you."
  5460. >"You think I'm after your money? Or that I'm going to be rather loose with it?"
  5461. >You snerk, almost choking.
  5462. >Smacking yourself on the chest a few times, you shake your head as you cough and laugh.
  5463. "No, Anon, I was afraid that with how much of a proud stallion you are, you would refuse to take my money at all."
  5464. >"...Oh."
  5465. "Well?"
  5466. >"Well, I mean..."
  5467. "With the current attention on you, do you think you could even get a job right now?"
  5468. >He grimaces.
  5469. >"Probably not. Someone might hire me for the exposure, or something. I don't want to have a make-believe job, though."
  5470. "Right. And you have lots of other obligations right now, don't you?"
  5471. >The gears slowly turn in his head as he sighs and rests his chin against an arm.
  5472. >"Taking care of this place. Getting more stuff. Learning how to cook pony dishes for you."
  5473. "Right. You don't have to spend your entire time just doing things for me, but mmmph-"
  5474. >He shuts you up, wrapping a hand around your muzzle.
  5475. >Shaking his head, he smiles.
  5476. >"Relationships are a two-way street, Spitfire. If you didn't do this for me, there's a chance I might not even have managed to stay in Equestria. Not even learning how to take care of your most basic needs would be an unspeakably scumbag move."
  5477. >You take his hand off, giving his fingers a kiss.
  5478. "Hey, you take care of those amazingly well."
  5479. >He bursts out laughing.
  5480. >"Aahaahhahahah! Spitfire, I'm pretty sure food is a more basic need than sex!"
  5481. "Hey, it's a pretty primal need!"
  5482. >"Yeah, but you won't die from not having sex! Not so for starvation! Ahahahah!"
  5483. >You roll your eyes with a grin as he laughs his flanks off.
  5484. "Alright, alright, fine. It's still a pretty big need of mine."
  5485. >"And I love taking care of it. You make the sweetest moans."
  5486. >Your ears fold in embarrassment as you look away.
  5487. >You hope he's not going to drop things like that in public, or even worse, in front of your teammates.
  5488. >You wait for his laughter to subside before you look at him again.
  5489. "So..."
  5490. >He sighs, raising his hands in mock surrender.
  5491. >"Yeah, yeah. I'm not going to say that I'm entirely happy, but I'm not stupid, either. It's just the way things are in Equestria. I'm learning to accept that."
  5492. "Do I even want to know what's the way things are on Earth?"
  5493. >"You... Probably don't."
  5494. "Humor me."
  5495. >"If a guy earns less money than the girl, the relationship won't last. Or it'll be a very screwed up and unhappy one."
  5496. >You grimace in disgust with a roll of your eyes.
  5497. "Yup. I didn't need to know that."
  5498. >"You asked for it."
  5499. "I know. And I'm sorry if this made you uncomfortable. Relationships are not built on money, but-"
  5500. >He wraps his hand around your muzzle again.
  5501. >"But it's the simple reality of existence. Love won't fill our stomachs or heat the place in winter."
  5502. >This time, you lick his hand to get him to move it.
  5503. "I'm glad you understand. And I got you another thing. Go on, open the saddlebags."
  5504. >"Alright..."
  5505. >He digs through them, finding a chequebook in one.
  5506. >"Is that for me?"
  5507. "Yeah. The bits are for shopping around. The cheques are for bigger stuff, like furniture. Don't write them out for small purchases, the shopkeeps hate that. It's a limited amount, attached to my account. The total you can spend with that book is ten thousand bits."
  5508. >"That's... A lot."
  5509. >You shrug.
  5510. "Relatively. You live here now. I own the place, but this is your home, where, as you, said, you'll be living more than me. And I want you to think of it that way. Don't feel like you're a... Tenant living in my property, or something. You don't need my permission to change or improve things. I trusted you enough to buy the place. And I still trust you now. I can see just how apprehensively you're holding that thing. I know you're not going to go on a spending spree on some frivolous nonsense, the first shopping trip certainly convinced me of that. So, if you think of something that you need, or simply a genuine improvement? A different bed, a rug, a bigger fridge, whatever - don't hold back."
  5511. >"Yeah. Okay."
  5512. >He says it, but there's not a single spark of enthusiasm in his voice.
  5513. >Time for direct action.
  5514. >You get out of the chair, trotting over to him and kissing him on the lips.
  5515. "Promise you won't let your pride get in the way of practicality?"
  5516. >He rolls his eyes, though you see him smile a little.
  5517. >"Spitfire-"
  5518. >You interrupt with another kiss, this time with tongue.
  5519. >Panting slightly, you separate, a thin string of saliva connecting you and him.
  5520. "Promise."
  5521. >"Alright already, jeez. I promise."
  5522. "Good man."
  5523. >"What would you have done if I kept resisting?"
  5524. "My mouth would have found its way to all sorts of interesting places across your body."
  5525. >"...Tempting."
  5526. >You smack him with a wing, which he bats away with a chuckle.
  5527. >"Alright, so what do you want to do for the rest of the day?"
  5528. >You take in a deep breath, stretching out your limbs one by one.
  5529. "Let's do what we talked about yesterday. Show me that "laptop" thing. Tell me about humans. I've been flying you around, talking to you about Equestria and how pony relationships work, and all that. It's about time you show me some more human stuff, I think."
  5530. >"Sure, that sounds fair."
  5531. >He goes to dig through his backpack, returning with a flat, slim, but wide box.
  5532. >He then proceeds to split it in half, showing that it's actually machine.
  5533. >It looks a bit like a large version of his phone on one half, with a bunch of keys like a typewriter on the other.
  5534. >He takes a bit to set it up, finding a chair to put it on, taking it in front of the couch, where the two of you sit down.
  5535. >"Alright, the battery's not entirely full, but we could watch a movie or two."
  5536. "So you humans have figured out how to stuff entire movie reels into these things?"
  5537. >"Yup, just how we figured out how to stuff entire stacks of vinyl disks into phones and music players."
  5538. "Alright, I'm intrigued."
  5539. >"Right then. I did take a bunch of classics with me, since I was expecting to stay here for some time... And most recent movies are trash. What to choose, what to choose..."
  5540. >You see his fingers tap and touch various keys and spots on the laptop, your eyes barely managing to keep up.
  5541. >"We have loads and loads of movies about magic, but that's probably less exciting for you than for us, heh. Hm, technology... Ah. How about... The Matrix?"
  5542. >You shrug.
  5543. "I don't know the first thing about human movies, Anon."
  5544. >"Right, silly me. Well, it should be interesting either way. Something tells me ponies don't have all that many stories about dark technological dystopias."
  5545.  
  5546. *****
  5547.  
  5548. "Wow."
  5549. >Anon grins.
  5550. >"Yeah?"
  5551. "That was... Pretty damn interesting."
  5552. >Anon had to pause the movie a whole bunch to explain things, such as what the weapons the actors kept using were and how they worked, and all the other technological stuff, and which ones of them were complete bunk and which ones were actually real.
  5553. >As far as the story went, Anon was right. You never read or saw anything like it.
  5554. >Of course, you're not exactly a big time reader, especially fiction, but this was truly alien. And fascinating.
  5555. >The fact that the quality of the movie itself was absurdly good didn't hurt either.
  5556. >Colors! No weird squiggles on the screen! No jumping or twitching!
  5557. "Human technology is really something. That was great, Anon. And there's a way to get a bigger screen, too?"
  5558. >"And sound system, yeah. Laptop speakers are definitely not the best quality."
  5559. >That's not the best? Yeesh. You're scared to find out what humans consider the best, then.
  5560. "Well, you have my express permission and urge to find out if you can buy one in Equestria, as long as it's not a complete ripoff. It would make for a pretty awesome housewarming party. We could have an actual movie night, right here. "
  5561. >"I'll look into it."
  5562. "Great. Now then, it's been quite a few hours since breakfast. Shopping, watching the movie. So, Anon..."
  5563. >"Yeah?"
  5564. "Food or sex first?"
  5565. >He sniggers as he jabs his fingers into your ribs, both of you descending into a giggle fit.
  5566. >"You know what? I'm not hungry right now. Come here, you. Time to take care of your basic needs."
  5567.  
  5568. *****
  5569.  
  5570. >You spend a good hour making sweet love and cuddling, though hunger still forces you to take action.
  5571. >After a short discussion, you both settle on "buck it", and go out to eat lunch again, agreeing to get takeaways for dinner.
  5572. >Anon promises that he's going to go to the library and read up on pony recipes while you're off in the Academy, though you're fully aware that it's probably going to take a while for him to learn how to cook something that he can't even taste properly himself.
  5573. "Make something you can at first, alright? Like fish. You know how to cook that, right? You big predatory carnivore, you."
  5574. >He chuckles.
  5575. >"Omnivore with a leaning towards meat, thank you very much. But yes. I'll figure something out."
  5576. "Awesome."
  5577. >You're filthy rich and can afford the beast eateries in Equestria, but imagining a stallion waiting for you with a home-cooked meal sets off some kind of marely instincts and cravings in your head.
  5578. >And it has been quite a while since you ate a home-cooked meal. Sure, some family restaurants you went to were very good and had outstanding food, but they were still restaurants.
  5579. >And it's doubly exciting that such an otherwise marely stallion - man, you correct yourself - is not just willing, but eager to perform his expected part in a relationship.
  5580. >...You really caught an amazing catch here. A perfect stallion in almost every regard possible.
  5581. >Disciplined, calm, good with money, never turns you down when you ask him to see to your needs...
  5582. >And loyal, or so he claims. Time will tell.
  5583. >If other mares knew, they'd snatch him off-
  5584. >You mentally smack yourself, squashing the nerves.
  5585. >Cut the crap! You're Spitfire! Captain of the Wonderbolts!
  5586. >No tuftless loser is going to take Anon from you, not even if a whole herd teams up against you!
  5587. >Glancing around, you discreetly check out the other ponies trotting about.
  5588. >You're plenty used to getting curious looks while out and about, but these days, you're no longer sure if they're the adoring looks that you used to get, or jealous ones shot towards Anon.
  5589. >You certainly saw plenty of mares licking their lips as they checked out his flanks whenever you stepped away from him.
  5590. >Guess it won't hurt to remind them not to mess with a mare of your caliber.
  5591. >Puffing out your chest, you strut down the street as you move towards the building, your tail firmly wrapped around one of Anon's legs.
  5592. >Yeah, try it. I'll break your legs faster than you can blink.
  5593. >Anon smiles as he puts a hand on your mane, slowly stroking your neck.
  5594. >The two of you enter the building like that, trotting upstairs and into your apartment.
  5595. >Anon sets the takeaway down on a table, going to a window with a smile.
  5596. >"This is nice. We're above most roofs, so the sunset is actually- Oh, blegh. Nevermind."
  5597. >He shakes his head with a wry grin as he quickly swipes the curtains closed.
  5598. "What is it?"
  5599. >"Preeeety damn sure I saw a pegasus with a camera aimed this way. Guess they finally caught up to us."
  5600. "Joy."
  5601. >He walks around the apartment, closing all the curtains.
  5602. >"Just ignore them. It's the final day of the weekend. You're leaving for work again tomorrow. No need to get worked up."
  5603. "Yeah, yeah."
  5604. >He stops briefly, giving you a look before closing the final curtain.
  5605. >"Really?"
  5606. "What?"
  5607. >"You're usually far angrier than that. Is my fiery Spitfire chilling out?"
  5608. >You huff, grinning at him.
  5609. "Hey, I'm a soldier. I'm disciplined."
  5610. >"Didn't stop you grinding your teeth and loudly fantasizing about stomping them flat before."
  5611. >You shrug.
  5612. "You help. A lot."
  5613. >He walks over to you, stroking your mane.
  5614. >"Getting laid is the best medicine, huh?"
  5615. "That, and your scent."
  5616. >"...Huh. Okay."
  5617. "Stop making that face. It's perfectly normal to find your stallion's scent soothing."
  5618. >For once, he doesn't object to you calling him a stallion.
  5619. >Instead, he gives you a hug, wrapping his hands around you.
  5620. >"Like this?"
  5621. >You grin, running your muzzle across his skin and breathing in.
  5622. "Oh yes..."
  5623. >You hug for a while, before he decides to pick you up and carry you towards the couch.
  5624. >Not many words are exchanged for the rest of the day, the two of you cuddling, nuzzling, kissing, eating dinner, employing your mouths for some different kind of eating, washing up, and going to bed.
  5625. >The next morning, the sound of the new alarm clock you bought wakes you up. You kind of wish it was Anon's music, instead.
  5626.  
  5627. ***
  5628.  
  5629. >You ponder your schedule as you fly towards the academy.
  5630. >It looks like staying in Canterlot on Sundays is becoming a regular thing.
  5631. >But maybe it shouldn't be.
  5632. >All it accomplishes is waking Anon up way too early, when he has no reason to wake up before dawn.
  5633. >Might as well spare him that. It's not like you're doing anything with him while you're asleep, and you zoom out almost the moment you wake up to make it in time.
  5634. >Despite your wandering thoughts, your flying is as sharp as ever, and you make it to the academy on the dot.
  5635. "Alright, fillies, enough lazing about! Let's see what you got!"
  5636. >The week goes by without callouts and disasters, though you and Fleetfoot do become minor celebrities. Inside the academy, that is. You're still major celebrities outside.
  5637. >As you expected, the news that both of you are in relationships have spread around, though the team seems to have found out from Misty Fly and High Winds, and not gossip rags.
  5638. >The revelation is taken in differing ways by different members of the team.
  5639. >Blaze, for example, seems to have taken it as a chance to aim for your post.
  5640. >"Well, looks like the captain's getting ready for early retirement. Guess it won't be long now until ponies stop confusing us two. Though I bet some will still call me Spitfire when I'm captain."
  5641. >You sip on a tall glass of juice, sitting back in the cafeteria.
  5642. >The others all grin, sharing conspiratorial looks.
  5643. >When nothing proceeds to happen, their looks get dismayed, while Blaze's turns smug.
  5644. >Surprise glances around uncertainly.
  5645. >"So... It's true, then?"
  5646. "What's true, Slowpoke?"
  5647. >"That you're... Thinking of retiring?"
  5648. "Nope."
  5649. >But you-"
  5650. "Have a stable coltfriend? Yes."
  5651. >"But..."
  5652. "Yes?"
  5653. >"Um..."
  5654. >Sun Chaser coughs.
  5655. >"What she's trying to say, captain, we're surprised that you haven't stomped Blaze flat yet. Or told her to fly a thousand laps."
  5656. >You take another sip, thinking it over.
  5657. "Was I really turning into that much of a cunt?"
  5658. >They all cough and glance away as you sweep your gaze across the cafeteria.
  5659. "...Huh. Well. For your information, no, I'm not retiring any time soon."
  5660. >Blaze grins.
  5661. >"Oh please, captain. You lost your fire. That alien colt tamed you."
  5662. >You glare at her, a familiar fire rising in your chest.
  5663. "If you'll recall, my recent performance results have jumped up a notch."
  5664. >Your deadly calms voice wipes the grin from her face.
  5665. "So in regards to "taming", no, that didn't happen. What did happen, though, was a good screw-tightening. Mmm, yup, got my screws tightened up REAL good. Good enough for my flying to sharpen. And other things, too, such as my mental state. So, I assure you, Blaze, I am entirely capable of stomping you flat... Doesn't mean I'm going to jump at the smallest provocation, though. No, all I'll do is... Watch you closely."
  5666. >Fleetfoot grins.
  5667. >"Want me to keep an extra eye on her, captain?"
  5668. "Excellent suggestion, lieutenant. Seeing as a few of our member's results have jumped up a notch, we might need to do some rearrangements... Maybe a demotion for someone who's mouth is writing cheques their slow-moving flanks can't cash."
  5669. >Blaze is looking around nervously now, the others sniggering quietly.
  5670. >"H-hey, let's not do anything hasty here..."
  5671. "You might want to watch your back if you happen to fly through some dark storm clouds at night, too."
  5672. >She gulps, a couple of the others patting her on the back and shaking their heads.
  5673. >Blue Blazes shakes her head.
  5674. >"I'm not sure if I like the deadly calm Spitfire over the fiery nutjob Spitfire."
  5675. >You shrug,.
  5676. "Them's the breaks. Deal with it."
  5677. >They digest the news for a moment before moving on.
  5678. >"What about you, Fleetfoot? You have a human stallion too, don't you?"
  5679. >"Yeah, though I didn't buy a full herd apartment like she did. Spitfire works fast."
  5680. >"Does that include the bedroom?"
  5681. >There's a round of barely suppressed laughter.
  5682. >It quickly dies down from your narrow-eyed glare.
  5683. "The fact I have a little more self-control now doesn't mean it's infinite. Tread lightly. Bunch of flankheads."
  5684. >They laugh again, seeing that you're not entirely serious.
  5685. >You snort and roll your eyes with a smile, finishing your juice.
  5686. >Overall, the mares are supportive of you, though most of them are still dismissive of the chance that Anon won't find some other mare while you're busy touring or training.
  5687. >The stallions are a bit more mixed.
  5688. >Lightning streak curls his lip in disgust.
  5689. >"I don't see what you see in those creatures, captain."
  5690. "Can't say I see much in humans overall, Lightning. I didn't have any interactions with civilian humans before Anon, so they're still a mystery for me, for the most part. Anon's a good stallion, though."
  5691. >He huffs.
  5692. >"Oh, sure. Just make sure you feed him, or you might wake up to him chewing on you."
  5693. >...That sounds kind of hot, actually.
  5694. "What? Why?"
  5695. >He sighs.
  5696. >"You heard about their world, right? No magic, no pegasi, which also means no weather control?"
  5697. "Yeah, they told us this stuff in the very beginning. What about it?"
  5698. >"It's mad, that's what it is! Their weather doesn't just sit there, either - there's storms, flash floods, hail in the middle of summer, all sorts of Discord-inspired crazy manure! And guess what happens to the crops? They all just die! No earth pony magic to maybe save some plants, either. And then what? Mass starvation!"
  5699. "Okay, so they live in a rough world. We knew that already. So what-"
  5700. >"What do you think happens then? When a whole bunch of predators get hungry? They eat each other, of course! Those humans are a bunch of crazy savages from a mad world!"
  5701. >You roll your eyes.
  5702. "Alright, now you're just pulling things out of your flank. That's pure conjecture."
  5703. >His expression turns smug.
  5704. >"Oh no, I actually asked them about it, back when we were playing bodyguards. When I heard that they have no weather control, it clicked immediately, and I asked about crops and stuff. They said that if they couldn't buy food from their neighbors, then yes, historically, they'd raid them for their stores. And when I asked about cannibalism, they all got very uncomfortable and tried to play it down."
  5705. >Fleetfoot scoffs.
  5706. >"Lightning, how many centuries have pegasi raided the earth ponies for their food?"
  5707. >"That's not the same!"
  5708. >"Riiiiiight. As I recall, they didn't even try to grow anything. Raiding the earth ponies was the entire source of food."
  5709. >"We ate the food, not the PONIES!"
  5710. "So did they, from what you just said. Raiding their stores?"
  5711. >He huffs, crossing his forelegs.
  5712. >"Oh, please. I see you're just biased because of your human stallion. Forget it."
  5713. "Right, says the guy who got destroyed with his own words and wasn't able to form a counter-argument. How to engage in debate is certainly not something you picked up from the ancient pegasi."
  5714. >Misty Fly nods.
  5715. >"You know that there's a bunch of documented cases of cannibalism amongst ponies, right?"
  5716. >"What?"
  5717. >"Yeah. Some of my family line are from sailor stock, and it's sometimes the only way to survive when you're shipwrecked somewhere desolate. It's called "the proper tradition of the sea" among them. Or "the delicate question", heh. No food? Eat the dead. No dead? Draw lots on who gets eaten."
  5718. >"Urgh! You're making me sick!"
  5719. >She grins, tossing an apple slice into her mouth and crunching loudly while Lightning Streak grimaces.
  5720. >"Skill issue."
  5721. >The others snigger, while you consider whether to get another glass of juice.
  5722. >Meanwhile, Lightning Streak is not happy with how the conversation turned out.
  5723. >"You seriously see no issue with any of that?"
  5724. "Nope. They're not at fault for their world being a crazy place. If anything, it's impressive that they survived against all odds and managed to build a civilization, even if it could use some polish here and there."
  5725. >"Yeah, and who survived? The ones that didn't hesitate to eat their neighbors!"
  5726. "Oh, come off it, Lightning. As if ponies are any different, as Misty Fly already pointed out. Bring a creature - ANY creature - to the point of ravening starvation, and I imagine their neighbors might start looking mighty tasty at that point. You sound like one of those earth ponies that screech about how eating fish is bad. Knock it off."
  5727. >"I'm guessing you'd be the one eating ponies in such a situation, then?"
  5728. >Misty Fly grins.
  5729. >"I'd eat you any day of the week, Lightning Streak. Don't even need to be starving."
  5730. >"PFfffffff!"
  5731. >Everyone else either crams their hooves over their muzzles, or collapses laughing.
  5732. >Lightning Streak frowns.
  5733. >"Was that literal, or...?"
  5734. >"Yes."
  5735. >"You horny flank-"
  5736. >You tune it out as you trot to pour yourself another glass of juice with a grin.
  5737. >Coming back, you see that the usual round of dirty jokes and jabs that follow such a proclamation is almost over.
  5738. >Sitting down, you calmly sip on your juice as you idly listen to the banter.
  5739. >Seeing Soarin looking at you, you raise an eyebrow.
  5740. "Might as well get it over with. Go on. What's your verdict? I've gone soft? You want to become captain, too? Or what?"
  5741. >He shrugs.
  5742. >"I can't say I care about all that. As your said, your performance only improved. I am feeling a bit iffy about this whole thing, though. You sure everything's alright with that human stallion?"
  5743. >Right, of course. Elite or not, Soarin is still a stallion. Figures he'd care more about the relationship than the power dynamics in the team.
  5744. "What, you think he's a rabid pony eater too? Last I heard, there hasn't been a single attempt of a human trying to eat a pony yet, and I imagine that would have made news all across Equestria."
  5745. >"Haha! No, nothing like that. Sinking so many bits so suddenly is odd, though. I know Wonderbolts don't do slow, but wow. Settling down together in a new property in a week?"
  5746. >You grin at him with a shrug.
  5747. "Guess I just set a new speed record."
  5748. >"Pfff. You could say that. Others would say different things."
  5749. "Such as?"
  5750. >"He's a golddigger."
  5751. >You almost choke on your juice, swallowing quickly and barking out a laugh.
  5752. "Ha! No."
  5753. >"...That it? Just no?"
  5754. "Yup. No."
  5755. >"I know we're supposed to be concise in the military, but I think most ponies would require some more elaboration on that point."
  5756. "Alright, you pie addict. Firstly, the property is entirely mine. We didn't cosign it as a herd, and he didn't ask for it. He didn't even want to be there when I did it. And I know for certain he'd have outright refused if I offered. Hay, the entire idea was mine anyway. He most certainly didn't ask for me to buy it."
  5757. >"Well, that's a good start, but that would have been way too obvious anyway."
  5758. "I had to practically force him to take some bits before leaving."
  5759. >"Good sign, but he could be playing the long-"
  5760. "When we went out to buy stuff for the bare apartment, he didn't get a single thing that wasn't on the list."
  5761. >This time, Soarin's in disbelief. He squints at you skeptically.
  5762. >"Really? Not even one? Not even a tiny thing you might have forgot? A lamp? A nice rug? A pillow that would look good with the couch?"
  5763. "Nope. Nothing."
  5764. >"...Alright then."
  5765. "Yeah, this whole thing has been driven by me from the start, so you don't have to worry about that, Soarin. He didn't come on to me, and didn't even expect me to come back. I'm not some lovestruck filly, either. I'm pretty damn sure I'd be able to notice someone trying to take advantage of me, and Anon is certainly not that. He does a lot, and asks for nothing in return."
  5766. >"How'd you meet, then?"
  5767. "I swooped him off his feet in Canterlot with Fleetfoot's help and gave him the ride of his life."
  5768. >Soarin's muzzle scrunches as he processes what you just said.
  5769. >"Well... Okay. If I had any doubts at all that you were somehow mentally affected or you weren't really you, you just dispelled them all. Congratulations."
  5770. >You narrow your eyes at him.
  5771. "And what's that supposed to mean?"
  5772. >"Nothing. Exactly what I said."
  5773. "It sounded like a backhoofed compliment of some kind. Far more backhoofed than compliment, in fact."
  5774. >He grins as he buffs a hoof against his coat.
  5775. >"I have no idea what you're talking about."
  5776. >You snort and punch him in the shoulder, both of you laughing.
  5777.  
  5778.  
  5779.  
  5780. >"Now it sort of sounds like he's a reluctant toycolt that you're paying off, though."
  5781. >You groan, dragging a hoof across your face.
  5782. "I swear, Soarin-"
  5783. >"Easy, don't lose your head."
  5784. "You lot seem oddly keen to make me do just that. Go meet him if you're that worried."
  5785. >"Well, the sudden change is jarring, you know? Even if the old you was a bit of a cunt. Well, a lot."
  5786. "Gee, thanks."
  5787. >"I mean, really, trying to replace me with Rainbow Dash in that contest that time? Cunt move."
  5788. "You're never going to let me live that one down, will you?"
  5789. >"Eh... Maybe someday. So what was that about meeting him?"
  5790. >You shrug.
  5791. "Buck if I know. I figured we could have a housewarming party or something. Just not yet. We are moving fast, and he needs to settle in and acclimatize a bit."
  5792. >"Oh. Sure, that sounds interesting. I'd be up for it."
  5793. "I'll keep that in mind. No telling when, though."
  5794. >"Sure, no rush. So, did you really start your relationship by dragging him off to bed?"
  5795. "Hey, it's not like I forced myself on him. I gave him a ride and asked him if he was okay with it, first."
  5796. >"Yup. You're definitely still you. Ow!"
  5797.  
  5798. ******
  5799.  
  5800. >Later on, you end up chatting with Fleetfoot.
  5801. >"Alright, Spitfire, I gotta hoof it it you: You're one heck of a mare."
  5802. "I know I am, but what brought this on?"
  5803. >"Getting a property in a week? That's kind of nuts. On the ground, too!"
  5804. "Yeah, I guess. I lucked out a bit that one was available immediately. Fortunately, it doesn't look like buying one is all that much of a hassle. Where does Incognito live, anyway?"
  5805. >"Oh, he's renting a room in a small apartment."
  5806. "Just a room? Sounds inconvenient for... Personal matters."
  5807. >She grins.
  5808. >"Yeah, no kidding. I rent a room in a hotel on weekends for our "encounters" too, though I haven't decided on whether to buy a property yet, or what kind."
  5809. "So how's your actual relationship going?"
  5810. >"Pretty well, I think. We get along. The sex is great, and he's willing to go whenever I ask. Just... I guess we're not as fast as you, huh."
  5811. >You grin smugly.
  5812. "Looks like I finally beat you in speed."
  5813. >"...Hey, this totally doesn't count!"
  5814. "Uh huh. Sure."
  5815. >"It doesn't!"
  5816. "Whatever you say."
  5817. >She huffs.
  5818. >"Whatever. I can still outfly you, and you know that."
  5819. >You keep your smug grin.
  5820. >"Laugh it up all you want. You wouldn't be here if I didn't help you with my knowledge."
  5821. "True. I still moved faster than you without your knowledge from that point on, though."
  5822. >"Ugh... You're still that sore you can't outfly me, aren't you?"
  5823. "Nope."
  5824. >This time, it's her turn to smug.
  5825. >"Right, sure."
  5826. "If you keep doing that, this conversation will move in a circle forever."
  5827. >"Fine. So how hard was it actually to buy the property?"
  5828. "The buying itself was easy, Just sign a bunch of stuff. Getting it was a tiny bit harder, but I found some good ponies."
  5829. >"Yeah? Care to recommend them? I guess I might as well start looking around. We discussed the idea of living together, but haven't made any concrete promises yet."
  5830. "Sure. They're called "Real & Tor's Realtors." Some kind of old family business, by the looks of it."
  5831. >"And the size? Why'd you buy a full herd apartment?"
  5832. >You shrug.
  5833. "Might as well? I mean, if we have guests or visitors... And hey, there's no reason to upgrade by hopping to a bigger and bigger building each time. I do plan on having a proper herd someday, and stallions like stability. It well might be the place where I live for the rest of my life."
  5834. >"Huh. Alright. How is Anon dealing with living in such a big, empty apartment, though? That seems like the ideal environment for him to start getting ideas about filling it up with more ponies."
  5835. "No clue, since he's only been there since Saturday. I guess I'll just see. Why, are you looking to move in? Don't think you wouldn't have to pay rent."
  5836. >"Hah. A place that big could easily house both of us, yeah. But..."
  5837. >The two of you share a glance.
  5838. >She's a total sis, but you both understand that being in the same herd would probably lead to you two hoof-fighting until one of you is bloody and beaten.
  5839. >...Maybe not now that you have a better handle on your emotional outbursts, but still.
  5840. >"...Rutting our stallions at the same time would probably be weird. And to them, too."
  5841. >You nod, even though you know that's not the real reason. But that's an excuse as good as any. And probably true either way.
  5842. "Well, you're free to drop by any time, of course."
  5843. >"What, really?"
  5844. >You tilt your head slightly in confusion.
  5845. "Of course, why not?"
  5846. >"Well, I kind of assumed that Anon wouldn't like me?"
  5847. "Huh? Why? From what bits he dropped, he likes you a lot."
  5848. >"Really? That's a relief. I did kind of aggressively seduce the heck out of him solely for you to have fun with. I thought he might have got a bad impression of me."
  5849. "No. He thinks you're really smart, actually."
  5850. >"Oh. That's a first, I think. Humans are really built different, huh?"
  5851. "Yeah, they are. Do you think they'd like each other?"
  5852. >"...I have no idea."
  5853. "We'll have to find out someday. I was thinking of a party, but I'd say that Anon needs at least a few more weeks to settle in, first."
  5854. >"Yeah, that makes sense. And I probably need a few more weeks before I can confidently introduce Cog as my stallion to others."
  5855.  
  5856. ****
  5857.  
  5858. >The rest of the week goes by, and, once again, you're standing on the landing strip with the assembled 'Bolts.
  5859. "Alright everyone, scram."
  5860. >"Woo! It's Friday, motherbuckers!"
  5861. >"See ya, cap!"
  5862. >"Try not to ride your alien stud too much, you need to come back here next week too!"
  5863. >You glare and try to find whoever said that, but with the cacophony of voices and wing flaps, there's no way to be certain.
  5864. >Rolling your eyes, you go to your office to lock up.
  5865. >There's no escorts this time, and you fly to Canterlot solo, though you do see some of your teammates along the way.
  5866. >A smile splits your face as you approach the building.
  5867. >It slowly disappears when you see the paparazzi already waiting, hovering around.
  5868. >With a grunt, you plunge downwards, dodging them all.
  5869. >They probably expected you to enter through the upper doors. Instead, you use the ground entrance, swiftly zooming along the stairs.
  5870. >The grin returns when you reach the door, whipping out the key.
  5871. >Sliding in, you quickly close it, sighing in relief.
  5872. "Damned buzzards. Mmmmmm...."
  5873. >When you take a breath, your nose is assaulted by the smell of food.
  5874. >Hmm... Fish, butter, some kind of pepper...
  5875. >"That you, Spitfire?"
  5876. "The one and only."
  5877. >"Cool. I... I made dinner."
  5878. "Oh, believe me, I noticed."
  5879. >You smile widely as you trot into the kitchen.
  5880. >He's standing near the stove, critically examining the steaming contents of a large frying pan.
  5881. >"Welcome hom- oof!"
  5882. >You leap into the air, gliding towards him in a single jump.
  5883. >As is becoming a habit, you eagerly rub your muzzle all over his face, giving him an enthusiastic lick or nibble now and then while he snorts and squirms.
  5884. >"Come on, at least don't lick me. The food's not that bad, I promise."
  5885. "I missed your taste."
  5886. >"You ponies are weird."
  5887. "No."
  5888. >"Outstanding argummmmmph."
  5889. >You shut him up with a kiss.
  5890. "Didn't you miss my touch?"
  5891. >"...Yes."
  5892. >You don't say anything else, just nuzzling his nose with a smirk.
  5893. >He sighs and smiles, running his hands across your body, sending tingles and shivers across your skin.
  5894. "There we go."
  5895. >You grope and nuzzle each other for a few minutes until you're both satisfied.
  5896. >You slide off him, grinning at him with raised eyebrows.
  5897. "So, what do you have for me?"
  5898. >"Fried salmon with butter-braised asparagus and peas."
  5899. "Huh. Sounds plain."
  5900. >"Well, there's garlic, pepper and a touch of chili on the salmon, with a tomato and herb sauce that I made, a touch of lemon juice with the asparagus, salt obviously, chives, parsley, a good chunk of dill - I like the taste of those the most - a touch of pepper on the asparagus too..."
  5901. >You chuckle as he lists all the ingredients. Now that is how a stallion cooks a home-cooked meal.
  5902. >"And I also got some drinks, but I didn't really know what you'd like. I found a few red wines I'd be curious to try and which should be good with fish, but there's a case of ciders and a bottle of the same kind of whiskey that you bought last time."
  5903. >He's not just okay with you cracking open a cider after work, but even bought some himself?
  5904. >Now that was less expected, but you shouldn't be surprised by this point.
  5905. >Rubbing your head against his torso, you hug him with your wings.
  5906. "You were busy, huh?"
  5907. >He reciprocates by putting a hand on your head, stroking your mane.
  5908. >"Not as much as you, probably. Anyway... If you have a favorite cider or something, you should tell me, so I know what to buy."
  5909. "You're the best, you know that?"
  5910. >"Come on, I'm hardly-"
  5911. "Shush."
  5912. >You silence him with a wing before he can say something stupidly self-deprecating again.
  5913. "Let's eat. And I'll happily have the wine. While I do like cider, wine is originally a pegasus drink, you know."
  5914. >"Yeah? Do other tribes have their drinks too?"
  5915. "Sure. Cider is actually the earth tribe's invention. Kind of an easy guess, that one. Apples are a massive staple for them, and it was an excellent way to get rid of excess apples. Ciders, beers, that's kind of their stuff. Things you can drink and drink and drink. Grapes were one of the few things pegasi seemed to have a knack growing, and we ended up making wine. Meanwhile, unicorns were the ones to experiment with their crazy chemistry stuff and invent stills, so stuff like strong spirits and distillates are their wheelhouse. Historically, anyway."
  5916. >"Alright. Interesting to know. Anyway... Have a seat. Just a moment."
  5917. >He stacks a plate full of food, first for you, and then for himself.
  5918. >Retrieving a bottle opener from a drawer, he uncorks a bottle of wine, pulling two glasses from a cabinet and pouring both of you a generous portion.
  5919. >He smiles, the expression a bit crooked.
  5920. >"Well... Moment of truth. I hope I didn't overspice it. You ponies seem to have similar tolerances to humans in that regard."
  5921. "Relax, Anon. I can already tell from the smell alone that the food is going to be good, at the very least. Now. A toast?"
  5922. >You raise your glass, giving him a significant look.
  5923. >"Oh. Sure. To...?"
  5924. "To us."
  5925. >"Sure. Nice and simple. To us."
  5926. >The glasses clink, and you both take a sip.
  5927. >It's pretty good. A robust red wine. Strong flavor, perfect with fish.
  5928. >Anon takes a long while to swallow, though, making you raise an eyebrow.
  5929. "Something wrong with the wine, Anon? Too different from your human ones?"
  5930. >"No, it's great, actually. It is different, that's what's good. Back home, wines are mass produced. And I mean MASS. There's... Not all that much variation in flavors. This was really new. I love it."
  5931. "Good to hear."
  5932. >You take a fork, spearing into the fish and dabbing the piece into the sauce.
  5933. >Dropping it into your mouth and chewing, you go for the asparagus and peas.
  5934. >"So..."
  5935. "Anon, I ate in some of the best restaurants in Equestria."
  5936. >"Ah. Of course. Well, I wasn't trying to measure up to a professional chef. Just... Is it good?"
  5937. "Yup. It's great. Could use a tiny bit more salt, maybe, but maybe not. "Just a bit more salt" is a dangerous road to go down."
  5938. >"That's a relief."
  5939. >You shake your head lightly, taking another sip of wine.
  5940. "You know that that's not the point, right? You don't have to cook better than a chef, or even whatever stallion might be living next door. Now, I'm not saying I'd eat bad food. It's the whole... Thing."
  5941. >"Thing."
  5942. "Yes, thing. Having a warm meal waiting for you when you return home after a hard day's work. Knowing someone appreciates you. Sharing a meal with someone you love. It's nice."
  5943. >He smiles faintly, his voice going quiet.
  5944. >"It is nice."
  5945. >He shifts a bit in his seat, like he wants to do something.
  5946. >You shake your head.
  5947. "Eat up, Anon. There's plenty of time to express our love for each other after we eat. Vigorously."
  5948. >"Right, of course."
  5949.  
  5950. ******
  5951.  
  5952. >The rest of the evening is spent cuddling, kissing, giggling, grunting, and moaning.
  5953. >There are a few brief lucid moments where you catch yourself thinking that maybe you're forgetting something.
  5954. >That there's probably important things to do yet.
  5955. >But then, you remember that you spent five days at work without seeing or smelling Anon, and you decide that those things can buck off and wait until tomorrow.
  5956. >When morning comes, you comb through your memories, trying to figure out if there's anything big you're forgetting.
  5957. >Work's all accounted for.
  5958. >Property is covered.
  5959. >Apartment has all the essentials.
  5960. >Relationship with Anon going well.
  5961. >What else...
  5962. >Something you discussed with Fleetfoot rises up from the back of your mind.
  5963. >Right, moving to Canterlot, setting your nests up on the ground...
  5964. >Ah. Right.
  5965. >The reaction from your respective families.
  5966. >You should probably tell your mom and dad about this.
  5967. >Better than them finding out from a newspaper, probably.
  5968. >Though there's a chance that it already happened...
  5969. >That's going to be an interesting letter.
  5970. >Well, you're a grown mare, and a damn successful one. You doubt there's going to be anything all that negative they'd even be able to say to you.
  5971. >Still, you hope they'll approve of Anon.
  5972. >You lazily nuzzle against him, finding that he's awake as well.
  5973. >"Pretending to sleep for my sake?"
  5974. "Nah, thinking about stuff."
  5975. >"Something important?"
  5976. "Nothing to worry about. Come on, let's get out of bed. I'm feeling great today."
  5977. >He nods, sliding out of bed and walking to the curtained windows.
  5978. >"Sure. It's a beautiful-
  5979. >"Oooh!"
  5980. >"-nope."
  5981. >He immediately closes the curtains again.
  5982. >You groan, your mood ruined.
  5983. "Was that a buzzard right outside our window?"
  5984. >"Yup. And I think the only reason she didn't manage to get a photo was because I stunned her momentarily by the fact I'm naked."
  5985. >You're angry, but you can't help but chuckle.
  5986. 'Well, at least she didn't get a shot of your goods. And, see? I did tell you that you have nice assets. She was clearly stunned by them."
  5987. >"Right, well, this is getting a bit ridiculous. I can't even open the curtains to enjoy the sunlight. I remember the last time we talked about privacy laws, and you got interrupted. Can you give me the rundown again?"
  5988. "Sure. There's not all that much we can do, unfortunately. See, there's two types of laws clashing against each other here: pegasus laws and earth pony laws. Ironically, the pegasus laws are not on our side in this case."
  5989. >"There's even separate laws for different tribes?"
  5990. "Nah, the same laws apply equally to everyone, but they're called that due to who thought them up and worked to implement them. And of course, there's different laws in special locations like cloud cities, for example. See, back in the day, unicorns and earth ponies were iffy about pegasi flying around ground cities and potentially looking through their windows. They got really, really uppity about that. I guess some unicorns didn't like to be reminded that the tall wizard towers they built to literally look down on their "lessers" meant nothing to the pegasi."
  5991. >"That's two tribes versus one. Did they make some unfair laws for pegasi?"
  5992. "Well, they tried, but we won in the end. They had completely ridiculous demands, such as completely banning flying anywhere within, around, and even over cities and privately owned land. Which was obscenely stupid, given just how large some of the noble's tracts of land were. It would have made Equestria impossible to navigate by air. A lot of pegasi suspected it was even a deliberate attempt at foul play by some greedy unicorn nobles in an attempt to ground all pegasi and force them to use toll roads and bridges and make more bits that way. Pegasi argued against that, and they got the "Freedom of crossing" laws passed. It worked for everyone, not just us - all ponies were assured the right to travel where they wanted, including crossing private property on hoof, if there was no other reasonable way to reach a destination anywhere nearby. It made a lot of nobles that bought out or surrounded the prettiest locations in Equestria with their property very pissed, something which the pegasi laughed at for years."
  5993. >"Ha. Sounds a lot like some similar things that happened on Earth back in the day. Alright. You mentioned two laws. What's the other side of the coin, then? Are we supposed to just sit in the dark with closed curtains all day long?"
  5994. "The "Reasonable expectation of privacy within one's abode" law. That one was pushed hard by earth ponies. Like I said, they didn't like pegasi flying by and knocking on their windows either, so they made it a crime for "an uninvited pony, pegasus or otherwise, to attempt to violate the privacy of one's abode by gazing upon the private activities of the residents within through the windows, be they on the ground floor or the upper floors." "
  5995. >"That sounded like a word-for-word quote. Did you read up on that because you were stalked by paparazzi?"
  5996. "Nah, they teach that one to all pegasi foals at school."
  5997. >"Wait, really?"
  5998. "Sure. In cloud cities, anyway. Different culture, you know? Up there, ponies don't care if a friend of yours flies up to your window to look inside if you're home and knock to ask you to come outside and play, or something. Earth ponies get crazy about that, though. They sure love their doors, and if you start climbing through windows, they lose their heads. Not that earth pony windows are even comfortable to climb through! Way too small and tight. Up in Cloudsdale, any window easily doubles up as an entrance or exit. So foals are taught that in case they travel to ground cities. Don't want some young kid to get fined by an overzealous guard for simply knocking on a friend's window."
  5999. >"Hahahah. Okay, I see. So what's the best explanation of the situation you can give me?"
  6000. "Pegasi are free to fly wherever they want, including right by your windows, all they want. However, they're not allowed to stop and stare at what you're doing inside."
  6001. >"Or take photos?"
  6002. "Or take photos, yes."
  6003. >"But then, all these paparazzi..."
  6004. >You sigh.
  6005. "Yes, what they're doing is a crime, but it's an absolute bastard to prove. Have you noticed that they tend to circle around, over and over? No guard is going to arrest them, and even if they do, they'll complain and take it to court, and no judge will uphold it. Not when they have "Well, I was just flying by and not looking at all" excuse. How exactly do you prove that a pegasus wasn't flying by, and was actually perving on you?"
  6006. >"Wait. The photos... They're proof in and of themselves. Aren't they?"
  6007. "Yeah, but even if we ask for a guard to come over and stand guard right here in our apartment, they'll just scatter. And then, the second the guard leaves, they'll come back. And the guard would actually need to see them *committing* the crime to arrest them. They can't just grab ponies from the sky and start shaking them down for cameras and photos."
  6008. >"Uh huh. I think I have a pretty good grasp on the situation now. And the newspapers? When they print the illegally acquired photos? Let me guess - "Oh, these just fell off the back of a cart from an anonymous source and we happened to come across them", or something similar?"
  6009. >You snort with a grin.
  6010. "Something to the tune of that, yes."
  6011. >To your surprise, he smiles widely. Not just a happy smile, though. It's... Predatory. Bloodthirsty.
  6012. >"In that case, I have just one more question. Are regular ponies allowed to perform arrests, or is that solely the purview of the guard? A citizen's arrest?"
  6013. "Hm? Oh, sure. We're not allowed to smash their property or search them, though, so forcefully taking their photos as proof wouldn't work. I'd get arrested myself, even if it did turn out they were acting criminally, and my fines would be way bigger than what they'd get. Hay, they might simply toss their cameras away mid-fight, and there'd be no way to prove it was theirs. I might even go to jail. Sorry, Anon, that idea won't work."
  6014. >"Who said anything about that? Come here. Let me show you ooooone more function of my phone. The camera..."
  6015. "Okay..."
  6016. >You follow him, cautiously excited.
  6017. "Are you planning to try and take a photo of *them* taking photos of us? You'd need to be very quick... As much as I hate to admit it, most of them are fairly swift flyers, and quick on the draw. You got lucky with that one in the morning."
  6018. >"Nah, not photos. Live video recording."
  6019. >He grabs his phone, tapping something on it.
  6020. "Video? That's..."
  6021. >"You'll see. Give me just a moment."
  6022. >He waves the phone around for a while.
  6023. >A minute later, he shows it to you, playing the "video".
  6024. >It's like the movie on his laptop, except you're the actor.
  6025. >The sound of your own voice echoes back from the device, impressively clear.
  6026. >"Video? That's..."
  6027. >The quality, as usual from human technology, is excellent. You can see every detail.
  6028. >Anon's smile shrinks as he suddenly becomes pensive.
  6029. >"So, uh... That's the deal. I just realized that I'd be potentially putting you at risk of lawsuits and serious assault charges, but, well... If you want to get rid of the paparazzi, and if all you need is proof that they're taking photos of things they shouldn't, well..."
  6030. >It takes a few moments, but a smile slowly splits your face, mirroring the one Anon had before. Bloodthirsty.
  6031. "Oh, Anon... It's perfect."
  6032. >"Are you sure? Because I'd hate it if I got you into trouble. We don't know if the guards would accept this as evidence-"
  6033. "Anon, you've never been a clit-tease so far. Please don't start now."
  6034. >"...What."
  6035. "Are you going to just dangle this in front of me and take it away?"
  6036. >"Well, no, but I want to be fully sure this is worth it and won't backfire on us. How much harm would we even do to them?"
  6037. "Eh... The crime itself is pretty minor, to say the least. There's something like a... Forty or fifty bit fine for it, and that's it. But! It's the principle that matters. And, if they KEEP doing it, well, then we're getting into stalking and harassment and potential lawsuit territory."
  6038. >"And will the guards take this as substantial enough evidence?"
  6039. "Can it be faked somehow? Like those "special effects" in your human movies you explained to me?"
  6040. >"...Not easily. You'd need an entire studio of people, working for days to make something fully realistic."
  6041. "Then I see no reason why they wouldn't. Photos are already accepted as evidence. This should be even better."
  6042. >He smiles again, slightly nervous, but also excited.
  6043. >"Alright. Then... Hmmm..."
  6044. >Plans begin forming in your head.
  6045. "I only see one tactic that we can really do here."
  6046. >"Bait?"
  6047. >You nod. happy that he's so quick on the draw.
  6048. "Precisely."
  6049. >"Alright. Shouldn't need to even do much, I think. Given that they probably haven't even managed to get a proper shot of my face yet... Well, may as well do something funny to make sure they go for it."
  6050. "Like what?"
  6051. >"Oh, anything. A mock tickle fight. You can hop on my back and I'll carry you around, that'll probably look weird around for them to get interested. We could make out in front of a window and slowly crouch down on the floor, just out of the view... Then you jump out when they get close and take photos. I don't think I need to flash my balls at them for them to get interested."
  6052. "Ha. Alright. And you're right, they don't need to see those lovelies."
  6053. >"Anyway, we should... Get dressed first, probably. Me, at least. I imagine we'll need to drag them to the nearest police station immediately?"
  6054. "Guard station, yes. I know where the closest one is, and it's not too far. Let's DO THIS!"
  6055. >He chuckles, shaking his head.
  6056. >"Now there's that fiery Spitfire. Don't go overboard, though. Don't want to rip the doors out of the hinges in your excitement, yeah?"
  6057. "Yeah, yeah. Come on, get dressed, I'm all pumped now."
  6058. >"Go brush your teeth and get a drink, this will probably take some time."
  6059. >The two of you quickly go through your morning routines, both of you slightly jittery with excitement.
  6060. >Finally, you're ready.
  6061. >"Alright... Here goes."
  6062. >Anon goes through the apartment, opening all the curtains.
  6063. >He's holding his phone in one hand, recording everything.
  6064. >Meanwhile, you're watching him at an angle, hiding behind a wall and ready to spring into action.
  6065. >The occasional pegasus passes by.
  6066. >Not all of them are paparazzi, but you're fairly certain you saw a few of them several times already.
  6067. >Yup, there goes another one. Third circle.
  6068. >Anon pretends to enjoy the morning Sun, going near the glass double doors leading to the roof terrace.
  6069. >Standing there, he stretches out his limbs one by one, striking a few poses that show off his long legs, though making sure to keep the hand that's recording steady.
  6070. >It takes you a little effort to tear your eyes from those legs yourself.
  6071. >The paparazzi can't quite resist, though.
  6072. >One of them zooms right in front of him, snapping a full photo with a grin.
  6073. >You're already moving, faster than Anon can talk.
  6074. >"Spitfire!"
  6075. "I'm on it."
  6076. >You rev up your wings, opening the door and blasting out.
  6077. >The buzzard does the smart thing and tries to get away with what she got, but you don't let her.
  6078. >Blood and adrenaline pumping through your veins, you catch up to her, resisting the urge to start pummeling her immediately.
  6079. "Halt right there! Citizen's arrest! You violated my privacy, and I'll have to use force if you try to flee or resist!"
  6080. >The buzzard grins.
  6081. >"I have no idea what you're talking about! But if you assault an innocent pegasus that's just passing by, you'll be in a heap of-"
  6082. "Final warning!"
  6083. >She doesn't slow down in the slightest.
  6084. >"I'm not intimidated by thug- Wargh!"
  6085. >You don't bother listening any more, performing a clean strike between her wingblades, making her wings lock up for a moment.
  6086. >As she falls, flapping weakly with one wing, you get underneath her, using her own momentum to slam into her torso with your head, completely knocking the breath out of her.
  6087. "Gotcha."
  6088. >Grabbing her with your forelegs, you immediately blast backwards, towards your apartment.
  6089. >She feebly bats at you with her legs, but she's too stunned to fight back properly.
  6090. >You land on the terrace, roughly slamming the wheezing, twitching mare on the floor.
  6091. "Oh, buck me, that felt GOOD."
  6092. >Anon opens the door just a crack, examining your catch.
  6093. >"Everything alright?"
  6094. "Never better. Did you get it all?"
  6095. >"Yup, just checked the recording. You can see everything."
  6096. "Awesome. Let's get her to the guards."
  6097. >"You... *gasp* Assault..."
  6098. >You snort angrily and roll your eyes.
  6099. "Save your breath. Now, are you going to walk to the guard station, or do I have to drag you?"
  6100. >"Buck... You..."
  6101. >She attempts to crawl over the railing, but you grab her by the mane with a roll of your eyes, and drag her back.
  6102. "Dragging it is. Let's go, Anon."
  6103. >"Right behind you."
  6104. >You grab her by the barrel, holding her wings together with your forelegs.
  6105. >Anon grins briefly as he hides his face with a scarf and hat before going out.
  6106. >The two of you make for a curious procession, to say the least.
  6107. >It's by far not the weirdest thing ever you ever saw, but dragging a struggling mare down the street is not an every day sight, either.
  6108. >After a while, she stops squirming, though you honestly preferred that over what she does next.
  6109. >"Oh, mare, I am going to be SO RICH. I am going to shove so many lawsuits up your tailhole, you bucking meathead! Assaulting the press! Mare, this story is going to be wild!"
  6110. "Oh, it's going to be wild alright. Just not in the way you think. Violating a pony's privacy like you did is illegal. Also, the press? I thought you were a passer-by."
  6111. >She cackles.
  6112. >"Bahahahah! What guard is going to believe you? You have nothing on me! Mare, I heard of some of my colleagues making it big by getting assaulted, but I thought ponies these days were smarter than that! I had no idea just how wrong I was! Celestia's teats, you're an undisciplined moron! Aren't you supposed to be some military bighsot? All those rumors about you being a hothead were right!"
  6113. "This was a very well calculated plan, actually."
  6114. >"Oh please, you really think you can scare me? What are you even trying to do, hope that I won't sue you?"
  6115. "Keep talking. We'll be at the guard station soon."
  6116. >While you can't see Anon's face, you can feel him grinning even through his scarf.
  6117. >He's recording everything again, getting even more evidence.
  6118. >Before long, you trot into the station, getting loads of looks, Anon attracting a bunch of attention as well.
  6119. >You unceremoniously drop the buzzard.
  6120. >"Gah!"
  6121. "Try to run and I'll stomp you."
  6122. >"Run? Why? Guards! This mare assaulted me! Help! She- oof!"
  6123. >You smack her upside the head.
  6124. "Silence, criminal."
  6125. >"She's still attacking me! Help!"
  6126. >The spectacle certainly garners some attention, several guardsmares trotting next to you, looking you and Anon up and down.
  6127. >Some of them seem a bit nervous. You're pretty sure they recognize you.
  6128. >"What is happening here, ma'am?"
  6129. "Citizen's arrest. I caught this freak perving on my stallion here. She flew up right to my window and started flashing pictures."
  6130. >"I see. What do you have to say to that, ma'am?"
  6131. >"I was just flying by and this maniac just attacked me out of nowhere, officer! She's lying through her teeth, she is! And, since she has no proof but you clearly saw her marehandling and assaulting me, you need to arrest her! I'll press charges!"
  6132. "I have incontrovertible proof."
  6133. >"...What?"
  6134. >The guardsmares look a bit apprehensive, but curious.
  6135. >"Well, ma'am, usually, this would look quite bad for you, but since you say you have proof, let us see it."
  6136. "Of course. You see, my stallion here, he is a human. And as you might have heard, humans have lots and lots of amazing technology. Anon? Could you show the nice guardsmares?"
  6137. >"Sure thing, Spitfire. Here you are, ladies. Look at the screen here. Let me just up the volume..."
  6138. >The paparazzi's smug expression turns confused as she begins watching the recording, turning to one of dread when it reaches the part where she zooms into view, her entire body clearly visible, only briefly obscured by the camera flash as she takes the picture.
  6139. >"W-what is..."
  6140. >Anon grins.
  6141. >"It's called a video recording. Just like your movie reels, just a little bit more high-tech."
  6142. >The guardsmares are intrigued, all cramming around the small phone screen.
  6143. >"Fascinating. You can see all the details. And even sound..."
  6144. >The paparazzi mare tries to scramble away.
  6145. >"I-I'll be going then, you don't need to worry about charges, bye!"
  6146. >You raise an eyebrow at the guards.
  6147. "The criminal's trying to run."
  6148. >"Hold right there, criminal scum!"
  6149. >"Eeek!"
  6150. >She doesn't get far, several unicorns grabbing her.
  6151. >One of the guards turns to you.
  6152. >"You know that it's just a small misdemeanor, right? All she'll get is a fine."
  6153. >You shrug.
  6154. "It's the principle that matters. They've been hounding and trying to perv on Anon for weeks now. The law is the law, and I'm sick of them already."
  6155. >"Of course, ma'am."
  6156. "I might bring more of them here, by the way. Almost definitely will, until they learn their lesson."
  6157. >The mare chuckles.
  6158. >"Sounds like perfect practice for some of our newer members, then. HEY, ROOKIE! GET YOUR FLANK IN HERE!"
  6159. >A young unicorn mare trots out from a room nearby, saluting smartly.
  6160. >"Ma'am!"
  6161. "Got some practice for you. Privacy violation, including photos. You know the drill?"
  6162. >She thinks for a moment before nodding.
  6163. >"Fifty bit fine, confiscation of the indecent material."
  6164. >"Good mare. Now, the captain here says she might bring in more mares like this, so you deal with them, alright? I don't think you should have any issues with this. Give me a quick rundown by the end of the day."
  6165. >"Yes, ma'am!"
  6166. >The buzzard tries to wiggle out one more time.
  6167. >"Hey, you can't just-"
  6168. >The guard cuts her off.
  6169. >"I can, and I also can add resisting arrest since you tried to run. You could have tried to sweet talk yourself out of this and get off with a warning if you didn't, but running? Yeah, no. You're guilty and you know it."
  6170. >"Grrr.... Fine."
  6171. >"Exactly. A fifty bit fine."
  6172. >"Bleh."
  6173. >You and Anon snort at the dumb joke as the rookie looks the paparazzi up and down.
  6174. >"Come with me, ma'am."
  6175. "Do you need us for anything else?"
  6176. >"I... Don't believe so, ma'am, though I do need your names for the record."
  6177. "Spitfire and Anonymous."
  6178. >"That should be all, then. Thank you, ma'am."
  6179. "Thank you. You might be busy today."
  6180. >"I appreciate the chance to get more experience, ma'am."
  6181. >You nod and turn around, both you and Anon almost skipping out of the Guard station, feeling giddy.
  6182. >When you return home, some of your adrenaline wears down, and your stomach growls.
  6183. >"Right. Let's eat first, and we'll go again. I doubt you want to stop after just one."
  6184. "No way."
  6185. >"Me neither."
  6186. >Anon whips up a quick breakfast while you discreetly scan the windows, looking for pegasi with repetitive flying patterns.
  6187. >You see several, grinning in anticipation.
  6188.  
  6189. ******
  6190.  
  6191. >*FLASH*
  6192. "GET OVER HERE!"
  6193. >Anon doesn't even need to call them out, just filming everything quietly with a smile.
  6194. >You end up roughing up two more buzzards, and it's just as satisfying each and every time.
  6195. >Actually, no. It's even more satisfying each and every time.
  6196. >When they whine or try to threaten you while getting dragged to the guards, you and Anon just laugh in their faces, more and more each time.
  6197. >One at least had the dignity to trot there herself, though you had to drag the last one by force again.
  6198. >And their expressions when they learn that you actually have proof of them doing what they did?
  6199. >Priceless. Absolutely priceless.
  6200. >This time, there was an interval when you didn't spot any of them for a while, so you ended up just sitting on the couch with Anon, cuddling gently . And then making out a little. And then a little more.
  6201. >Such a sight attracted several of them at the same time, though.
  6202. >Still, it's not a problem for you.
  6203. >They don't even seem to think you're going to chase them, flapping away lazily and laughing.
  6204. >They probably think you'll just yell at them angrily through the open door and go back inside.
  6205. >They soon learn the depths of their mistakes.
  6206. >"AAAARGH!"
  6207. >"OW! OOF!"
  6208. >You pummel two of them at the same time with a murderous grin, easily bouncing between the airborne targets.
  6209. >Hmmm. Wasn't there a third...?"
  6210. >"Spitfire!"
  6211. >You frown as you hear Anon calling out.
  6212. >You glance backwards, expecting to see him pointing out the one that got away.
  6213. >Instead, you see him struggling with a flapping form, one of his hands wrapped around the mare's hindleg as she keeps flashing him in the face with her camera.
  6214. >Inside the apartment.
  6215. >You immediately see red, the previously simmering anger boiling over.
  6216. "GET AWAY FROM MY STALLION!"
  6217. >Blasting back inside, you ram into the mare.
  6218. >You're not doing the precise, calculated takedown this time.
  6219. >You pulverize her, smashing her into the wall.
  6220. >You raise your forelegs to trample her, but Anon grabs you from behind.
  6221. >"Don't."
  6222. >You hiss, though you stop immediately, your body obeying years of training.
  6223. >"Get the others, they'll get away. I'll be fine."
  6224. "Will you?"
  6225. >"I can wrestle you into submission, remember?"
  6226. "Right. Of course."
  6227. >You zoom outside and find the other two, one of them resting on a roof, the other one down in the street and trying to get away on hoof, her wings limp.
  6228. >Grabbing them both and dragging them inside, you drop them on the third mare, making a groaning pile of paparazzi.
  6229. >Huffing, you catch your breath.
  6230. "I'll be brief, buzzards. You are under arrest. We are going to go to the guard station. You can trot there, or I can drag you by force. And this time, I'm not feeling gentle."
  6231. >One of them croaks.
  6232. >"Wonderbolt... Not... Guard..."
  6233. "Citizen's arrest, dumbflank."
  6234. >"You'll be in - *cough* so much trouble, filly."
  6235. "Yeah? With who? The guards? Then let's go there, and see just who's going to be in trouble."
  6236. >One of the mares extricates herself from the pile. You recognize her as the one that invaded your apartment.
  6237. >"Oh, so you're openly saying the guards are corrupt and you'll use your connections to arrest us? Very interesting. Any other tidbits you'd like to tell us, captain?"
  6238. >Your eyebrow twitches as you give her a look.
  6239. "You literally invaded my home, moron."
  6240. >She grins at you, fixing her mane.
  6241. >"I don't recall doing that. You brought us all in here yourself, by force. After beating us all up. Don't worry, though, I'm a reasonable mare. For a few tens of thousands of bits, I might even be convinced not to bring charges. Consider it. Save your reputation."
  6242. >You stand there in disbelief at the sheer audacity before taking a deep breath and fighting down the urge to knock her teeth out.
  6243. "You know, usually, we wait until we get to the guard station, but there's no reason we can't show it now. Anon?"
  6244. >"Of course."
  6245. >With a grin, he starts playing the video.
  6246. >This time, you're the one with a smug grin.
  6247. >The mare squints at the phone, the others slowly standing up and looking as well, suddenly looking nervous when they appear in the shot.
  6248. "You were saying?"
  6249. >"What! Give me that!"
  6250. >She swipes at the phone with a hoof, but Anon's faster.
  6251. >You take the opportunity to sock her in the jaw, slamming her against the wall again.
  6252. "What did I tell you about touching my stallion?!"
  6253. >The other two gulp, looking around nervously.
  6254. "Try to run, and you're next. Now. One last time. Do you buzzards at least have the self-respect to trot to the guard station yourselves, or do I have to drag you?"
  6255. >"I-I'll go quietly," One squeaks.
  6256. >"Me too."
  6257. "Good."
  6258. >The third mare groans in pain, clutching her jaw and hissing at you.
  6259. "And you?"
  6260. >She spits on the floor, making you narrow your eyes.
  6261. >Anon shakes his head.
  6262. >"Don't give in, Spitfire. She wants you to use excessive force, so she'd have something against you.
  6263. "Right. Of course. I'm not sure I can restrain myself from using excessive force if she tries to run, though."
  6264. >"I'll handle her."
  6265. "...Okay then."
  6266. >You're not happy, but you know that Anon is fully capable of dealing with one mare.
  6267. >You march the other two downstairs while Anon grabs the third one, the mare squirming and trying to get away all the time, with the occasional kick or biting attempt.
  6268. >Anon's gentle but firm with those soft hands of his, and her effortlessly restrains her without hurting either her, or himself.
  6269. >You can't help but chuckle at the mare's flabbergasted expression as she's carried down the street in Anon's arms.
  6270. "Hope you're happy. You wanted to get a closer look at Anon so badly, now you get to be marehandled by him."
  6271. >She scrunches before huffing and raising her voice.
  6272. >"That's- you- Ugh! Help me! Ponynapping! Assault! Help! I'm getting abducted by aliens! He's going to take me to his weird alien base and stick strange stuff in me! Heeeeeelp! Assault! Murder! Oh, won't somepony save me!"
  6273. >A few ponies turn their heads in confusion, but no one tries to intervene.
  6274. >Anon laughs as he keeps going, completely unfazed by her struggling.
  6275. >"Oh, you don't have to worry about that. The only one I'm sticking my strange things into is Spitfire."
  6276. >"Ugh! You damn weirdo! Let me go!"
  6277. >"Hmm... Nah."
  6278.  
  6279.  
  6280. >You dragging the paparazzi into the Guard station has become a spectacle, and several guardsmares snigger as you bring in the latest batch.
  6281. >"Damn, captain! Three in one!"
  6282. >"Nice catch!"
  6283. >"I caught some big fish in my time, but nothing quite like that!"
  6284. >"Oooh, I'd like to be carried by a stallion like that..."
  6285. >The buzzards grimace as they do the trot of shame past the jeering guards.
  6286. >The rookie raises her eyebrows when she sees three ponies enter the room.
  6287. >"All of them, ma'am?"
  6288. "Yeah. One even broke into my home."
  6289. >"There was no breaking! The door was open!"
  6290. "The fact that I was pummeling your buddies didn't clue you in that I wasn't in the mood for visitors?"
  6291. >"They're not my buddies. I don't even know them."
  6292. "Don't care, doesn't matter. You're paying your dues anyway."
  6293. >The guardsmare speaks up.
  6294. >"Ahem. If you would kindly step up to the desk one by one and give me your names, please. Also, you will have to surrender the negatives of the pictures that you took. Sir, may I see the video?"
  6295. >"Sure."
  6296. >She writes them out their fines after watching the recording.
  6297. >The first two go quietly, slinking away in shame.
  6298. >The arrogant one seems intent on digging herself deeper into the hole, though.
  6299. >Anon puts her down, but she refuses to sit, scoffing at the fine.
  6300. >"I'm not taking this."
  6301. >"Excuse me?"
  6302. >"You heard me, rookie. You're making a mistake. This is an assault on press freedom."
  6303. >"Ma'am, there is proof that-"
  6304. >"Proof from some alien technology? Please. Call your supervisor. I'm not standing for this."
  6305. >"...Very well, ma'am. Come with me."
  6306. >You roll your eyes as she trots away.
  6307. >Moments later, you hear her go on a rant about a "vicious assault" and "press freedom" and "corruption" and similar manure to senior guard.
  6308. >You tune it out with disgust.
  6309. >Anon scratches his neck.
  6310. >"Think she'll achieve anything?"
  6311. >A deep voice sounds out from behind you.
  6312. >"I doubt it, sir. My mares are not so easily swayed or intimidated, or at least I hope they're not."
  6313. >You turn around to see a large, armored unicorn stallion.
  6314. >He's turned gray, the color from his mane completely gone.
  6315. >He nods to you.
  6316. >"Captain Spitfire, yes? I am Swift Save, the chief of this Guard station. May I have a word with you and your stallion?"
  6317. "Sure. Is something wrong?"
  6318. >"Something is, actually. Come with me, please."
  6319. >He leads you to his private office, closing the door behind you with magic.
  6320. >"Now, I couldn't help but notice the spectacle you put up. Quite the show, heh."
  6321. "Was I not supposed to do that? Those buzzards broke the law, your guards agreed with that."
  6322. >"They did, yes, that part is not in question. The issue is the nature of the evidence that you presented."
  6323. >You grimace.
  6324. "Don't tell me that it's not valid because it's made by an alien device, or something."
  6325. >"I wouldn't say that. Such a verdict would have to come from somewhere way higher up the command chain either way. No, the issue is that if a crime is committed and punishment issued due to the evidence presented rather than the Guard witnessing it themselves, then we need to keep the evidence for filing purposes. If those ponies challenge the fines and take it up to a court, we would need to present the same - what did you call it, video? - to them, or they would be thrown out. And that would also open you up to assault charges and the like."
  6326. >Your insides tense a little.
  6327. "Ah. I see."
  6328. >He nods, and turns to Anon.
  6329. >"Now, sir, this technology of yours... Is there any way you can provide us with those "video" without us outright taking your camera device for ourselves?"
  6330. >He shrugs.
  6331. >"Oh, sure. That's easy."
  6332. >"It is?"
  6333. "It is?"
  6334. >"Yeah. I mean, giving the video to you is no problem at all. I have several spare USB sticks. Just... To actually play it, you need a computer. It'd be like... A movie reel that you need a projector for."
  6335. >Swift Save nods slowly.
  6336. >"Well, that is very good to hear. I was afraid that this was going to become a big issue of some kind. I know that some of the higher-ups are slowly adopting your technology, so I'm sure it shouldn't be a problem if the proof is in this "you-ass-bee stick". Someone will know how to play it."
  6337. >"I can show you, if you want. I need to go and upload the videos from my phone to my laptop, and then to the USB sticks anyway."
  6338. >"That would be good, yes. While your kind's technology is impressive, I still would like to see it working with my own eyes."
  6339. >"Sure, no problem. Better safe than sorry. So...?"
  6340. >He nods politely, gesturing to the door.
  6341. >"Of course, you're free to go. Do try to return today, though, alright?"
  6342. >You grin.
  6343. "We might yet come back with more of those buzzards, even."
  6344. >"This seems like a big risk for a small reward, captain. The publicity from this probably won't reflect well on you, even if you're in the right, legally speaking."
  6345. >You shrug.
  6346. "Don't care. If some scum wants to defend literal criminals, that's on them, not me. I just want to have a peaceful time with my stallion that I'm only able to see on weekends, without some freaks trying to snap a photo every time we try to cuddle."
  6347. >He raises an eyebrow, a thin smile appearing on his face.
  6348. >"Oh? From your reputation, I'd never have taken you for a cuddler, captain."
  6349. >You sputter while the old stallion chuckles.
  6350. >Damn sneaky gossipy stallions! You bet he will "accidentally" let that bit slip to the entire station before evening.
  6351. "That- that's private business. Let's go, Anon."
  6352. >Swift Save grins.
  6353. >"Of course, of course. Have a nice day, Captain."
  6354. >As you leave the station, you hear the mare still arguing with the guards, though they seem to be reaching the limit of their patience with her.
  6355. >Shaking your head, you exit the station.
  6356. >The mild annoyance can't dampen your overall great mood, though.
  6357. >Making the way back, you watch over Anon as he grabs a bunch of his technological stuff and puts in into his backpack.
  6358. >You don't bother trying to bait any more of the paparazzi, going right back to the station.
  6359. >The guards give you slightly surprised looks when you enter without any captives this time.
  6360. >"No luck this time, ma'am?"
  6361. "Heh. Afraid not."
  6362. >"Well, you'll get 'em next time. What can we help you with?"
  6363. "Your chief wanted to see me. He's a bit concerned about the evidence over this all thing."
  6364. >"Ah, I see. Go ahead, then. His office is right there."
  6365. "Thanks."
  6366. >You knock on the door.
  6367. >"Enter."
  6368. >Swift Save looks pleased when he sees that it's you.
  6369. >"Excellent. I see that the Wonderbolts are fast in all kinds of situations. Now, sir, would you mind if I called our archivist for your demonstration?"
  6370. >"Not at all. Go ahead."
  6371. >"Very good. If my desk is adequate for the purpose, you may start setting up your machinery."
  6372. >"Sure."
  6373. >Anon sits down in the chief's chair and pulls out his laptop and other stuff.
  6374. >Turning it on, he starts fiddling with it.
  6375. >Soon after, the chief comes back with a similarly elderly unicorn mare.
  6376. >"Scroll, this is captain Spitfire of the Wonderbolts and Anonymous, our impromptu human technology instructor."
  6377. >The mare nods politely, her eyes firmly stuck on Anon and his laptop.
  6378. >"Arcane Scroll, at your service."
  6379. "A pleasure."
  6380. >The chief nods.
  6381. >"Now then, sir, if you could explain this in the... Simplest terms possible, please?"
  6382. >Anon shrugs.
  6383. >"I don't think I'll need to do that. You guys already have things like video recordings. Ours are just higher quality. Come here, stand around me. Let's begin with the computer."
  6384. >Arcane Scroll presses her lips together as she and the chief stand at his sides.
  6385. >You join in there as well. Who knows, you might learn something too.
  6386. >"I don't think we have anything quite like this."
  6387. >"Think of it as a multi-purpose workstation. You can do all kinds of things with all kinds of files on it."
  6388. >"Ooh. Well, files is something I'm more familiar with."
  6389. >"Right. The people that created these systems were using the exact same things as you did. Paper and so on, and all the functions got named exactly the same as you'd expect. Only difference is that computers can hold all kinds of files in their memories - audio, that's sound - visual, video, text, and so on."
  6390. >"Memories? Can they... Forget things?"
  6391. >Anon chuckles.
  6392. >"No, that's just the technical term for the data storage inside these things. It's pure machinery, it doesn't forget. It can get damaged, but that's usually way harder than paper files. Anyway... Here I have my phone. It has a camera, with which I made the videos."
  6393. >He hefts the device, showing it to the ponies.
  6394. >"Now, as you can see, I already connected it to the computer with a cable. So if I open this menu here named "This PC" - that's what they're called..."
  6395. >The mare squints as a selection of stuff appears on the screen.
  6396. >"Folders and... Drives?"
  6397. >"And devices. Now, I'll access my phone... And you can see a whole pile of folders. I find the one with the videos, select them, click copy..."
  6398. >He performs all those tasks quickly, making Swift Save and Arcane Scroll blink.
  6399. >"...And now, they're all copied onto the computer. Now, this thing. This is a USB stick."
  6400. >He waves a little nub of plastic before sticking it into the side of his laptop.
  6401. >"Select these... Click copy... Access the USB stick from the same menu... Click paste... And wait for a few minutes until the files copy over."
  6402. >Arcane Scroll is flabbergasted.
  6403. >"That's it?"
  6404. >"Yeah."
  6405. >"There's no weird alien rituals involved?"
  6406. >Anon snorts.
  6407. >"No."
  6408. >"You copied them twice in a matter of minutes. And can you copy text like this as well?"
  6409. >"Ah. I see. Yes, you can. If you want to get a physical copy, though, you need a printer. Otherwise, all the files can only be read on computers. But yes. Copy, edit... This is basic computer stuff. And compared to videos, text files take up practically no memory. You could have thousands... No, you could have millions of them in here. Heck, maybe billions."
  6410. >Arcane Scroll stares at Anon hungrily before she turns to Swift Save, her eyes sparkling.
  6411. >"Chief, we NEED this technology. Please."
  6412. >The old stallion chuckles.
  6413. >"I'll see what I can do, but no promises."
  6414. >Arcane Scroll lets out a long whine, like a filly in a candy store with no bits.
  6415. >Swift Save shakes his head.
  6416. >"May we see the videos? I haven't actually seen them yet."
  6417. >"Sure. Here. Open the USB storage, click on any of these, and..."
  6418. >They nod as the videos begin playing.
  6419. >You can't help but grin when they get to the points where you're thrashing the paparazzi.
  6420. >Swift Save frowns at the points where they flash their cameras at Anon, while Arcane Scroll whistles appreciatively at the takedowns.
  6421. >"Impressive moves, captain."
  6422. "Heh. Thanks."
  6423. >Eventually, Anon gets to the final video, the one with all three of the paparazzi.
  6424. >Your grin disappears when you see what happened from Anon's point of view.
  6425. >While you were busy dealing with the other two, a third rushed in, seemingly hitting Anon.
  6426. >The video shakes wildly as he struggles to get back on his feet.
  6427. >"Oh, so you're the captain's exotic pogo stick? Think you're so clever with that scarf of yours? Ha! Not clever enough for- hey!"
  6428. >That's when Anon latches on to her, yanking her down.
  6429. >You purse your lips.
  6430. "Is there any chance to get her for anything more serious than a privacy violation? Assault? Breaking and entering?"
  6431. >Swift Save rubs his chin with a thoughtful frown.
  6432. >"Unlikely. Even if you take her to court, even this video shows clearly that her only intent was to take photos, not harm or steal anything. It's technically possible, but very unlikely."
  6433. "Ah well, guess that was hoping for too much anyway."
  6434. >"I'm afraid so."
  6435. >Anon closes the video when it finishes.
  6436. >"And that's it. Here. Just take this thing, and... Stick it in a computer, if you happen to have one."
  6437. >Removing the you-ass-bee stick, he gives it to Arcane Scroll.
  6438. >"So delicate-looking... Does it need any sort of special storage procedures?"
  6439. >"No. Just don't get it wet."
  6440. >"Exactly like paper, then. Good."
  6441. >Swift Save nods.
  6442. >"Seems like we're done here, then. If you happen to arrest any more overly nosy paparazzi, do please make sure that you can hoof over the evidence to my guards."
  6443. >Anon nods.
  6444. >"Sure. No problem."
  6445. >"Although..."
  6446. >"Yes?"
  6447. >"Would you be willing to teach us more about this technology? Not just the filing, but the actual making of these videos. This is extraordinarily useful evidence. My detectives would go nuts over this stuff."
  6448. >Anon shakes his head.
  6449. >"It's incredibly useful, yes, but this is no different than a pony with a camera. If there's no one to witness a crime at the precise time and place, whether they have a photo camera or a phone, you're not getting anything."
  6450. >"Hm, true. Though I think that my guards could actually benefit from these. There's sometimes conflicting testimonies even from guards that witnessed the same event."
  6451. >"Sounds like what you want is bodycams."
  6452. >Swift Save chuckles.
  6453. >"And if ask what a bodycam is, it's clearly going to lead us down yet another rabbit hole of strange human technology. Tell you, what, sir, how about this: Would you be willing to help us out for about a week? I'd draw up a contract for you as a civilian consultant."
  6454. >"Uh, I'm hardly an expert on these things..."
  6455. >"And we're hardly equipped to understand expert-level knowledge. You seem to have a pretty good knowledge overall, though."
  6456. >"Well, sure. It's just technology that everyone... Well, most humans know about."
  6457. >"Good. If we start sending requests for these "computers" and whatnot up the command chain, then I'd prefer to know what to even ask for, and what are the options for all these technological bits and bobs."
  6458. >It's not the kind of work that Anon's trained for, but he seems excited at the prospect of being employed again anyway, even if it's just a temporary job.
  6459. >"Alright, sure. I can do that. Just, nothing on a weekend. There's no way I'm cutting into my time with Spitfire."
  6460. >Arcane Scroll coos.
  6461. >"Aww, aren't you a sweet stallion. So dutiful to your mare."
  6462. >You agree, though you don't say it out loud.
  6463. >"It's the absolute least I can do for her."
  6464. >Swift Save nods.
  6465. >"Come around on Monday, then."
  6466. >"Around what time?"
  6467. >"Well, nothing too early... I'd say midday is good."
  6468. >They chat a bit while Anon gathers up his machines and puts them in the backpack.
  6469. >"I'll see you on Monday, then."
  6470. >Saying your goodbyes, you leave the station once more.
  6471. >Anon is all smiles at first, though he gets pensive once you're near the building.
  6472. "Something wrong, Anon? We sorted that evidence problem out."
  6473. >"Yeah, just..."
  6474. "Go on. Total honesty, remember?"
  6475. >"Well, I mean... I'll probably have less time to try and read up on recipes and stuff.
  6476. >You bump into him, wrapping your tail around his leg.
  6477. "Relax. I already told you that you don't need to devote your entire life to me. I'm certainly focused on my career a lot, so asking that of you would be hypocritical. You shouldn't give up on your hobbies or your passions for me. Besides, helping ponies is good, Anon. It's a nice thing you're going to do for those guards, and I'm sure they'll remember it, even if you're going to get paid for it."
  6478. >"Right... Sure. Can't hurt to be friendly with the local law enforcement, either."
  6479. >You chuckle.
  6480. "True, though the way you say it makes it sounds all kinds of shady."
  6481. >"Hey, I'm an upstanding interdimensional alien visitor."
  6482. "Sure you are."
  6483. >"Am I not? What am I guilty of?"
  6484. "Stealing."
  6485. >He frowns.
  6486. >"I never stole anything, Spitfire."
  6487. >You nuzzle him with a grin.
  6488. "Sure you did, stud. You stole my heart."
  6489. >"...I'm not sure whether to smile or to groan at that."
  6490.  
  6491. ***
  6492.  
  6493. >After all that, the two of you feel like going out for some celebratory drinks.
  6494. >You have a good time. Great time, even.
  6495. >Your laughter and cheer attracts some curious ponies, and you end up at a large table, swapping tales, buying rounds for each other and joking around.
  6496. >You tell how you smacked down the paparazzi, Anon backing it up with videos, to the listener's great amusement.
  6497. >Once you get home, you're a little unsteady on your hooves, though you feel amazing.
  6498. "That was awesome, Anon."
  6499. >"Yeah, that was fun. I don't think people back home form spontaneous groups like that any more."
  6500. "That too, but that was not what I was talking about."
  6501. >You grin at him, looking him the eyes with a lidded look.
  6502. "You were amazing today."
  6503. >"In what? I didn't do anything today."
  6504. >You shake your head with a smile.
  6505. "Oh yes you did, you overly humble doofus. You got rid of the damned buzzards for us."
  6506. >"Hey, you did all the heavy lifting. Literally."
  6507. >You flap your wings and lift off, pushing him against a wall and pressing into him.
  6508. "Which was only possible due to your clever thinking of catching them with your fancy technology."
  6509. >"It was a team effort."
  6510. >You grin as you hug his head with your forelegs, pressing his face into your chest.
  6511. "Mhm. And what an effort it was."
  6512. >You flick your tail, rubbing his groin. Even though he's wearing pants, you know he can feel it.
  6513. >He grins.
  6514. >"What's this? Does violence turn you on, Spitfire?"
  6515. "No, crushing my enemies and standing victorious over their broken bodies with my stallion beside me does."
  6516. >"Conan would be proud."
  6517. "Who?"
  6518. >"A famous fictional barbarian back home. There's a quote that people picked up from a movie. He's asked what is best in life, and replies... To adapt it to Equestria, "Crush your enemies. See them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their stallions."
  6519. "Buck. Yeah. Words to live by."
  6520. >He shakes his head with a smile.
  6521. >"Pegasi are rather militaristic, aren't they?"
  6522. "Historically. Times change, but it's still in our blood. All the more satisfying when it's scum like those buzzards. They make me ashamed to be a pegasus, sometimes."
  6523. >He raises his hands, scratching your back between the wings, making you shiver.
  6524. >"Do only pegasi do it? Because of the flight advantage?"
  6525. "No, there are unicorns as well, though they tend to be sneaky rather than fast. They can float cameras everywhere, and hide them in nooks and crannies, and then press the button from a distance while pretending to be doing something else. Each tribe has its own tricks up their sleeves. But enough about that."
  6526. >You flap again, pressing him into the wall harder.
  6527. >"Yeah yeah, I get the message."
  6528. >With a smile, he carries you off to bed, where you vigorously celebrate having crushed your enemies. You haven't heard the lamentations of their stallions, if they even had any, but it's good enough for you.
  6529.  
  6530. ****
  6531.  
  6532. >Sunday comes all too fast. You get out of bed with a smile, though, the outstanding mood making you feel so light and giddy, you feel you could fly.
  6533. >...Well, fly without wings, anyway.
  6534. >Brushing your teeth and taking care of business, you perform a few stretches before opening the door to the terrace and cantering outside.
  6535. >Taking a deep breath, you spread your wings, taking off with a gust of wind.
  6536. >Flapping about, you use the sharp turns around buildings as a makeshift obstacle course.
  6537. >You have to remind yourself to tone it down after you see a few pegasi flying slowly at similar altitudes.
  6538. >Slamming into someone at full speed would make for one heck of a spectacle of a captain of the Wonderbolts.
  6539. >The paparazzi would go wi-
  6540. >Oh, wait, that's right.
  6541. >Did any of them come back?
  6542. >You zoom around the apartment building with a keen eye.
  6543. >Pegasus here, pegasus there...
  6544. >Oh, there's one sitting on a roof. Is that a camera?
  6545. >You slowly begin flapping in their direction with a massive, possibly slightly deranged grin.
  6546. >More details become apparent as you get closer. Yup, a mare with a flashbulb cutiemark.
  6547. >As she aims a camera at you, you notice that her forelegs are shaking noticeably.
  6548. >The camera goes off and she quickly shoves it in her saddlebags, revving up her wings.
  6549. >You chuckle.
  6550. "You can keep that one since I'm outside right now, but if I catch you buzzards trying to perv on my stallion through the windows again..."
  6551. >You slam your hooves together, focusing on your magic and putting in a bit of oomph to it.
  6552. >The resulting sound is like a thunderclap, echoing loudly among the buildings as the soundwaves bounce back and forth.
  6553. >"Eeeeeek!"
  6554. >You cackle as she flaps away.
  6555. >Mare, that felt good.
  6556. >Glancing around, you don't see any more of them.
  6557. >Hmm.
  6558. >You wonder if Anon's awake yet.
  6559. >Well, even if he isn't, you think you know of a few fun ways to wake him up.
  6560. >Time to show him just how much you appreciate him and all he does for you.
  6561. >By appreciating the heck out of his balls!
  6562. >With a smile, you fly back to the apartment.
  6563.  
  6564. ****
  6565.  
  6566. >In the end, you don't get anything important done that weekend.
  6567. >Celebrating your victory over the paparazzi and making sure to thoroughly demonstrate to Anon just how much that means to you pretty much takes up all your time.
  6568. >Anon doesn't really get much time to practice cooking, but you do get a lot of practice on how to hold your breath longer with something long and hard lodged in your throat and use your mouth to make him feel good, so it's still time well spent in your book.
  6569. >You only remember that you were going to write to your parents in the middle of training.
  6570. >Oh well, you can do that later in your office.
  6571. >You offer a few comments here and there, but the training is mostly routine now, which is why something interrupting the routine catches your attention.
  6572. >A chariot pulled by to Royal Guards moves towards the landing strip.
  6573. >Oh filly.
  6574. >Royal Guard usually means an emergency callout, but they usually come by themselves, not in a chariot.
  6575. >You whistle sharply to your team, wondering what this could be about.
  6576. >The rest of the bolts immediately drop everything, landing near the strip and waiting for orders.
  6577. >As the chariot lands, you raise an eyebrow.
  6578. >You recognize the ponies inside.
  6579. >One of them is Billboard, the earth pony mare that's the head of your merchandising and public relations department.
  6580. >She handles all the contracts for 'Bolts to sell stuff with their faces on them and the like, so you don't see why she'd rush here unannounced, with a Guard escort.
  6581. >The other one's Double Jeopardy, a unicorn mare that's the head of your legal department.
  6582. >Could it be...?
  6583. >Fleetfoot turns to you.
  6584. >"So, captain, is this a callout, or...?"
  6585. "I'm not sure, but this is a completely unannounced visit. Gimme just a sec."
  6586. >You wait for them to get closer, nodding to the pair.
  6587. "Hello, ladies. What brings you to the HQ unannounced?"
  6588. >Billboard opens her mouth, but Double Jeopardy cuts her off.
  6589. >"Important business regarding your recent conduct, captain. May we talk in your office?"
  6590. >You shrug, gesturing to Fleetfoot.
  6591. "Sure. Lieutenant, take over. You two, follow me."
  6592. >"Yes, captain! Alright, gang, nothing to see here. Just some emergency bureaucracy, apparently."
  6593. >You lead them to your office, sitting down in your chair and giving them a once-over.
  6594. >Billboard looks a bit worried, while Double looks like she bit into twenty lemons at once.
  6595. "So, what's this business-"
  6596. >Double Jeopardy interrupts you.
  6597. >WHAT THE BUCK WERE YOU THINKING, YOU EMPTY-HEADED FEATHERBRAIN?!"
  6598. >You narrow your eyes at her. She thinks she can yell at you like some trainee that bucked up, in your own office?
  6599. "You have ten seconds to explain yourself before I put you in your place."
  6600. >"Me?! Explain MYSELF?! You psychotic mph-"
  6601. >Billboard shuts her up with a hoof when she notices you gritting your teeth and preparing to jump out of your chair.
  6602. >"What Double Jeopardy means, captain, is... This. Or, rather, these. Here."
  6603. >She retrieves a bunch of newspapers from her saddlebag, spreading them on the table.
  6604. >You raise an eyebrow as you scan the headlines.
  6605. >It's easy to see what she means.
  6606. >Your face is plastered on all of them, with some pretty fun captions.
  6607. >"MASS MEDIA MASSACRE! CRAZED WONDERBOLT CAPTAIN BRUTALLY ASSAULTS JOURNALISTS!"
  6608. >"INNOCENT PONIES ATTACKED, DID SPITFIRE FINALLY SNAP?"
  6609. >"COMPLETELY UNPROVOKED ATTACK ON HALF A DOZEN PONIES BY DERANGED WONDERBOLT CAPTAIN!"
  6610. >The photos are pretty good, too. There's a whole spread, with ones where you're dragging the paparazzi down the street on the sides, with a main big one with you sporting a manic grin in the middle.
  6611. >Double Jeopardy huffs, seemingly calmed down just the tiniest bit.
  6612. >"As you can see, captain, you are in deep manure."
  6613. "Ha! Nice."
  6614. >"WHAT?!"
  6615.  
  6616.  
  6617. >Double Jeopardy looks apoplectic again as you grin.
  6618. >Billboard, meanwhile, looks even more worried.
  6619. >Still smiling, you tap the newspapers.
  6620. "You heard me. Now, I'm no lawyer, but I think I know a thing or two about it, and I'm fairly certain this is actual lawsuit material."
  6621. >That sentence seems to brink Double Jeopardy close to a complete breakdown, the mare sputtering.
  6622. >"What- you moronic- what- OF COURSE THIS IS LAWSUIT MATERIAL, WHY DO YOU THINK I'M HERE?!"
  6623. >You're completely unfazed, sitting back with a confident smile.
  6624. "Final warning, Yell at me one more time, and I'll send you flying off the cliffs. You better know a good spell to sprout some wings."
  6625. >"You really have gone off the deep end!"
  6626. "Nope, you're just incompetent. Now, if-"
  6627. >"What did you just call me?!"
  6628. >You slap her with a wing across the table, making Billboard's eyes go wide.
  6629. "SILENCE!. I don't take insubordination from anyone, including you."
  6630. >She coughs and sputters, her eyes bugging out.
  6631. "Now, as I was saying... This is actual lawsuit material. So, Double, are you going to do your job as the head of our legal department and threaten all these newspapers with a hundred lawsuits for printing complete fabrications, or do I have to find a new lawyer?"
  6632. >Billboard looks intrigued now, though Double Jeopardy seems too busy nursing her broken ego to understand the implications of what you just said.
  6633. >"You don't have the authority to fire me. I am employed directly by the crown-"
  6634. >You cut her off.
  6635. "And the profits made by Wonderbolts is what pays your salary. If I sent complaints up the command chain about this, you might find your position is less secure than you think. Now answer the damn question."
  6636. >The gears slowly begin turning in her head.
  6637. >"What do you mean by "complete fabrications"? Are you claiming those were illusions? Faked photos? A changeling pretending to be you?"
  6638. "No, the photos are real. Those ponies, however, were not "journalists", no matter how hard they claim to be."
  6639. >"Then how is it a fabrication?!"
  6640. "Note the terms like "innocent ponies" and "completely unprovoked". That is absolutely not the case."
  6641. >...Go on."
  6642. "Those were all freaks I caught perving on my stallion through the windows. They're not innocent, they are all criminals, and have been fined as such."
  6643. >"Seriously?"
  6644. "Absolutely. You're more than welcome to go to the Guard station and talk to them yourself. They might call themselves "journalists", but I certainly don't consider every perv with a camera to be one. So there. I performed a citizen's arrest on them, and the Guard upheld it. Every single one."
  6645. >"...I see. This... Changes things. I had been wondering why no one actually filed any charges yet. I assumed they were looking for some bigshot lawyer for a massive case."
  6646. "HA! Nope. They haven't filed anything because they don't have anything on me."
  6647. >"Right..."
  6648. >Billboard looks excited now.
  6649. >"Oooh, here I thought I was going to need to do lots of damage control and creative twisting of the facts! But it's the complete opposite! A brave mare defending her stallion from a bunch of creeps! ...Hmmm, can't really make merchandise from it since it's not Wonderbolt activity related, but... Well, it's free publicity, anyway. Wait. You have a stallion?"
  6650. >You chuckle as her thoughts catch up to her mouth.
  6651. "Yes. A man, actually. A human."
  6652. >"Ooooh, exotic!"
  6653. "Yeah, which is probably why they were so persistent in trying to get a picture of me and him in a compromising position."
  6654. >Double Jeopardy clears her throat and fixes her glasses.
  6655. >"Well, I am glad to have cleared this up, despite your rather unprofessional be-"
  6656. >You slam a hoof on the table, interrupting her.
  6657. >You focus all of your experience into the mightiest, most intimidating narrow-eyed glare that you ever glared, puffing up and putting your chest tuft on prominent display.
  6658. >The old lawyer shrinks in her seat.
  6659. "Last I checked, Double, the only one unprofessional here is you. Almost as unprofessional as the ponies that wrote those articles. You NEVER print something as fact unless you KNOW the facts. You knew NOTHING, yet you barged in here like you owned the place, berating me without even asking for my side of the story."
  6660. >She flounders, grasping at straws.
  6661. >"Your, ah, temper is well known-"
  6662. "It is also completely irrelevant."
  6663. >"I, well, I suppose that was a bit-"
  6664. >You glare harder.
  6665. >"-quite unprofessional of me, yes. My apologies."
  6666. >You keep it up for a minute longer, eventually sitting back again, having asserted your marely dominance over the upstart unicorn.
  6667. "Don't think this gets you off the hook. You better make those newspapers squeal and beg for mercy, or I'll be sending complaints about your lackluster performance. Am I understood?"
  6668. >"...Yes, captain."
  6669. "Right then. Is there anything else you need?"
  6670. >The mares share a look before Double Jeopardy speaks up again.
  6671. >"I think we need to talk to the Guards about this. Either Billboard or I are going to get questioned or will need to make statements about this, and we need to be able to state that we saw the proof that those ponies are criminals with our own eyes."
  6672. "Sure. north-eastern Guard station, Sunrise street, number forty-seven. That's where I brought them all. Ah, right. The proof..."
  6673. >"What about it?"
  6674. "Nothing much. They'll show you the records, I'm sure. It's just that we needed to take special measures to actually prove to the Guard that they perved on us. Privacy laws are a bit iffy in that regard."
  6675. >"Special measures?"
  6676. "Yeah. Anon filmed them with his human camera. Each one of them has a little movie about them violating the law, starring me as the hero that kicks their butts. Heh."
  6677. >"Can I see those movies, then? It would be very useful to be able to say that I saw records of them violating the law with my own eyes."
  6678. "...Well, they don't have a computer - that's like a projector for those human recordings..."
  6679. >Billboard smiles.
  6680. >"Can we visit your stallion, then?"
  6681. "Well, Uh... I guess so."
  6682. >Double Jeopardy rolls her eyes.
  6683. >"Come on, captain, you don't have to worry about us perving on your alien. Just tell us where he lives."
  6684. >You scoff.
  6685. "Thirty-seven Ivy lane, top apartment. He might not open the door for you, though. The only ones that have been knocking have been the paparazzi, with all sorts of creative and absurd introductions."
  6686. >She sighs.
  6687. >"Wonderful."
  6688. >Billboard taps her chin.
  6689. >"Well, what if we ask one of the Royal Guards that brought us here to unhitch himself when we get there and come up with us? He'd trust a Guard stallion, right?"
  6690. "...Probably."
  6691. >Double Jeopardy massages her temples.
  6692. >"That will have to do. We should be on our way."
  6693. >You think of something as Billboard reaches for the newspapers.
  6694. "Can I keep those? Also, give him these. He knows that I was planning to get them for him. He'll know I sent you."
  6695. >You root through your desk, finding a pair of flight goggles and hoofing them to Billboard.
  6696. >"Oh! Of course, captain!"
  6697. >Double Jeopardy nods.
  6698. >"Well be on our way, then."
  6699. >You sigh, taking in a deep breath and taking a minute to calm yourself.
  6700. >You pour yourself a glass of water before returning to the team.
  6701. >You kind of wish you had something stronger, but, unlike what some stereotypes might say, you don't actually have a bottle of whiskey or some other strong stuff hidden in your desk. The Academy is a dry zone, and you follow that rule yourself.
  6702. >The others give you questioning looks, which you reply to with a grin and a shake of your head.
  6703. "Later."
  6704. >Once you're all resting in the cafeteria, though, you bring the newspapers, passing them out wordlessly among the ponies.
  6705. >It takes only a few moments for the spit-takes and laughter to start.
  6706. >"Ahahhahah! Oh, wow!"
  6707. >"Mare, look at that face! And you said the captain lost her fire, Blaze!"
  6708. >"Oooh, look at that one. She looks like she got roughed up hard."
  6709. >Fortunately, your teammates are more trusting of you than Double Jeopardy was.
  6710. >"So, captain, this is all bunk, right?"
  6711. "Yeah. They were all perving on my stallion during our time off, so I knocked some sense into them. They were all fined by the Guard, so they're definitely not "Innocent ponies"."
  6712. >"Ha! Nice one."
  6713. >"So, is that your alien carrying one of those mares there?"
  6714. "Yeah."
  6715. >"Hm. The two-legged posture is weird, but the legs aren't bad..."
  6716. >The stallions roll their eyes at the predictable turn of the conversation.
  6717. >You just smile, sitting back and relaxing as you listen to the banter and your teammates reading the funnier bits of the articles out loud.
  6718.  
  6719. ****
  6720.  
  6721. >A few more days pass, with no news. You assume that Double Jeopardy is hard at work.
  6722. >She better be.
  6723. >You don't know whether the newspapers wrote any retractions yet, but you don't feel like zipping to Canterlot to buy papers just to see, either.
  6724. >Eventually, Friday arrives, and you look forward to meeting with Anon again.
  6725. >Unfortunately, your wishes are denied by the return of Double Jeopardy, this time alone.
  6726. >You land next to the chariot as it lands.
  6727. "This is either good or bat timing, Double. There's only a couple hours left in the day before the work hours are over."
  6728. >She clears her throat, looking all professional.
  6729. >"Yes, well, I'm afraid this is not entirely to do with me, now. Princess Celestia requests your presence."
  6730. >You grimace.
  6731. "Don't tell me she thinks I'm actually guilty."
  6732. >Double Jeopardy shrugs.
  6733. >"I can't say for certain whether she approves or not. Alicorns can be quite inscrutable, when they want to. This is not fully to do with her either, though. The leader of the Free Press Association requested an audience with her to complain about you, apparently."
  6734. "Really? Didn't the newspapers print any retractions? It's been almost a full week. You arrived here on Tuesday, right?"
  6735. >"They did, but the audience appointments need to be made days in advance, so she probably did it on Monday."
  6736. "And she didn't even see the retractions?"
  6737. >"I don't know, but it is possible."
  6738. >You snort.
  6739. "Well, seeing her face when she finds out should be amazing."
  6740. >"Right. Shall we go, then?"
  6741. >You wave Fleetfoot over.
  6742. "Looks like this whole paparazzi business is not over yet. The Big C wants to see me herself."
  6743. >She whistles.
  6744. >"You're not in trouble, are you? You didn't break any laws, after all."
  6745. "I don't know. Maybe she'll tell me that I should have been more patient and ignored them, I don't know. Take over and finish up here, yeah?"
  6746. >She salutes.
  6747. >"Yes, ma'am!"
  6748. >You turn to the Guards.
  6749. "Alright, gentlecolts, let's go. I'll be flying."
  6750. >"Understood, ma'am."
  6751. >They start trotting, gaining speed before taking off.
  6752. >The trip to Canterlot takes a bit longer than usual due to the chariot, but the colts are pretty fast.
  6753. >They land and unhitch themselves while you go through the palace.
  6754. >A couple of guards escort you, leading you towards the throne room.
  6755. >A gaggle of ponies are waiting in the corridor, all armed with cameras. All of which start flashing when they see you.
  6756. >Of course.
  6757. >The guards seem rather displeased with them, but don't take any action... Yet.
  6758. >You notice several of them glancing at their spears longingly.
  6759. >When you approach the doors, the guards open them for you, staying behind.
  6760. >You approach the throne, scanning the occupants of the room.
  6761. >Billboard is here, along with Celestia's secretary, Celestia herself, and an unfamiliar pegasus mare.
  6762. >Stopping in front of the steps, you salute, while Double Jeopardy bows.
  6763. "Captain Spitfire of the Wonderbolts reporting as requested, Ma'am!"
  6764. >Celestia smiles the princess smile at you.
  6765. >It's the one that she smiles with at almost everyone, so it's kind of hard to say if she's mad at you or not.
  6766. >"Ah, excellent. At ease, captain. It seems that there has been a misunderstanding of sorts, yes?"
  6767. >She turns towards the pegasus mare, who is grimacing as she holds a newspaper in her hoof.
  6768. >Billboard has a bunch of them, hoofing them to the mare one by one with a grin.
  6769. >Darn. You really did want to see her expression the moment she saw the retractions for the first time.
  6770. >Still, no reason you can't give her a little jab.
  6771. "I wouldn't call it a misunderstanding, princess. More like an incident of gross incompetence bordering on violating the law, and unlike what those liars in the papers say, the incompetence and law breaking was allll done purely by them. Slander, defamation, failure to do even the most absolute basic of investigations... Such as going to the Guard station I was bringing those ponies to and asking what they did."
  6772. >The mare frowns more and more with every word you say, though she doesn't dare say anything to you in front of the princess.
  6773. >Giving the newspaper back to Billboard, she coughs and attempts to appear calm. It almost works.
  6774. >"Yes, it seems there have been some... Mistakes made by a few rather... Overzealous newspapers. I would like to immediately retract any and all complaints about captain Spitfire's behavior."
  6775. >You snort derisively.
  6776. "Judging by the gaggle of buzzards waiting outside, there's plenty more newspapers eager to make more mistakes. But hey, let them. I can give them plenty of stories - about them getting sued for lying."
  6777. >The mare presses her lips into a thin line.
  6778. >"Though I understand your current negative opinion of the press, captain, I can see from the photos that you have only dealt with half a dozen ponies of ill repute, while there's several dozen reporters from well respected outlets out there, with genuine interest about what happened. Not every newspaper is a sensationalist rag."
  6779. "Oh yes they are. Some are just slightly less sensationalist."
  6780. >"...Yes, well, at least you admit that standards do exist among the press."
  6781. "Heh. Do they exist in your lobbying organization, or whatever that is you run? This is egg on your face, too."
  6782. >"I can assure you, captain, I will be having words with many editors and newspaper owners in the coming weeks."
  6783. >Celestia smiles again.
  6784. >"Well then, it seems this is mostly cleared up. The only remaining issue is all those ponies crowding outside. Miss Notepad, Captain Spitfire, perhaps you would like to make a statement to them? A short, impromptu press conference."
  6785. >You nod after a moment of thinking, the other mare nodding as well.
  6786. "Of course, princess."
  6787. >"Very well. Let us go."
  6788. >The six of you go towards the doors, Celestia opening them with her magic.
  6789. >Immediately, the cameras start flashing, a number of the ponies yelling questions.
  6790. >All of you squint, except Celestia, who raises a hoof and waits patiently.
  6791. >It doesn't work. The journalists keep yelling.
  6792. >She keeps smiling, though, as if she expected this. Bringing her hoof down, she gives a barely perceptible nod to the guards.
  6793. >They spring into action immediately, smashing the ponies down with the butts of their spears.
  6794. >A higher-rank guardsmare trots in front of your group, casting a spell with her horn.
  6795. >A moment later, she blasts out a single command, her voice amplified with magic.
  6796. >"SIIIILEEEENCEEEE!"
  6797. >You raise an eyebrow at the carnage. That was not what you expected at all, but you're not going to protest.
  6798. >The only sounds now are a few whimpers and groans, the others remaining deathly quiet.
  6799. >Princess Celestia clears her throat, a very delicate noise that is nonetheless heard across the entire corridor.
  6800. >"Now now, my little ponies, what is this behavior? Screeching like some kind of complete madponies in a fit of complete insanity?"
  6801. >Even though it's not directed at you, the "Disappointed Mom" energy is overwhelming.
  6802. >The entire gathering of journalists flinch and grimace.
  6803. >Damn, she's good at that.
  6804. >The years must have given her a lot of experience, though her size helps a lot, too.
  6805. >"There's a procedure to gain an audience or ask questions, you know. Really, though this is the heart of Equestria's bureaucracy and there's many ponies going in and out, this is still my home. Is this how you behave when you're in someone's home? Hmm?"
  6806. >Oooof, that hurts.
  6807. >You feel like a filly that got caught with her hoof in a cookie jar. And, again, it's not even directed at you.
  6808. >"Now, miss Notepad and captain Spitfire have some things to say. If they feel like it, they will answer questions afterwards, but only if you ask them politely. Am I understood?"
  6809. >A low murmur of "yes, princess" sounds out.
  6810. >"Very well. Miss Notepad?"
  6811. >The mare clears her throat.
  6812. >"It would seem that there was a serious slip of standards among several newspapers. The story about captain Spitfire assaulting innocent ponies is complete bogus."
  6813. >Another wave of low murmurs, though a glare from the gathered guards immediately stops it from turning into shouted questions again.
  6814. >Double Jeopardy steps up, clearing her throat.
  6815. >"Indeed, the newspapers have all printed retractions. See for yourselves. While those are - probably - sufficient to avoid lawsuits, now that the truth has been established, any other newspaper propagating this false story will face immediate legal action from the Wonderbolt's legal department."
  6816. >She floats the newspapers from Billboard, passing them on to random ponies in the crowd, who quickly crowd around them, scanning the lines before nodding, some of them scribbling stuff quickly in their notepads.
  6817. >Some of them look at you expectantly, but it seems there's not much left for you to say.
  6818. >Shrugging, you strike a pose, flexing.
  6819. "Read it and weep, losers!"
  6820. >Celestia and Billboard giggle lightly while Double Jeopardy rolls her eyes. Notepad, meanwhile, decides to make a quick exit, flying off.
  6821. >Should you say something more mature?
  6822. >Eh... Probably.
  6823. "I shouldn't have to tell you this, but spying on me through my windows is not "journalism", and the ponies that do that are not journalists. This is not my opinion, this is a fact, and the law is on my side. You can take all the photos of me that you want when I'm in public, and you can ask Billboard here, the head of our PR department questions. Anyone that tries to perv on my private time with my stallion, though? You'll get the same treatment as the ponies in the photos. That is all. I will not be taking questions at this time."
  6824. >The journalists nod one by one, taking a few more photos before quietly shuffling out. They clearly want to ask you for more comments, but don't dare provoke the guards or the princess again.
  6825. >The guards relax, looking much happier now that they got the chance to put the unruly crowd in their place.
  6826. "Well... Looks like that's done."
  6827. >Celestia nods.
  6828. >"Indeed, captain."
  6829. >You turn to her, studying her face.
  6830. >As ever, she's perfectly calm and genial. And unreadable.
  6831. "Do you disapprove of what I did, princess? Was I too rash?"
  6832. >"Oh, not at all, my little pony. The laws are there for a reason. Some ponies might be able to grin and bear it, but you certainly don't have to put up with it if you don't want to. That's why such behavior is illegal, after all. You did not go overboard, after all, so I see no fault in your actions."
  6833. "Thanks. Good to know."
  6834. >"And really, the newspapers have been getting a little too bold with what they think they can get away with this past century. It's good to shake up some overly old and crusty institutions now and then."
  6835. >Century?
  6836. >Yeesh. Princesses are just on another whole different level.
  6837. "Right, so. Anyone have the time? There's probably no point in flying back to HQ now."
  6838. >Celestia's secretary procures a watch.
  6839. >"Almost five PM, captain."
  6840. "Oh yeah. Time to go home."
  6841. >Celestia gets intrigued.
  6842. >"Home in Canterlot, captain? You making my fair city your home was a bit of a surprise, I'll admit."
  6843. >You shrug.
  6844. "Not as big of a surprise as it was for me, believe me."
  6845. >She giggles lightly again.
  6846. >"Life's turns and twists can be quite surprising, yes. Raven, Billboard, Double Jeopardy, you are dismissed. Enjoy your weekend."
  6847. >"Thank you, princess."
  6848. >"Yay! Thank you, your Majesty!"
  6849. >"By your leave, your Highness."
  6850. >It doesn't escape your notice that she didn't dismiss you.
  6851. >You turn to look at her, and notice her scrutinizing you. Deeply.
  6852. "Is there... Anything you need from me, princess?"
  6853. >"How would you... What are you going to do now, captain?"
  6854. "Go home to my stallion and a warm meal, hopefully."
  6855. >You can't help but smile as you think of Anon.
  6856. >Celestia smiles as well when she sees your expression.
  6857. >"The human, yes?"
  6858. "Yeah. Is that a problem, princess?"
  6859. >"Why, not at all, captain. I wouldn't have let them come if it was. Say, how would you like to... Come to a little gathering in the palace some time later?"
  6860. >You furrow your brows. Wonderbolts attend a lot of fancy parties, but you don't remember any of them coming up soon.
  6861. "An official function, princess?"
  6862. >"Oh no, not at all. Just a little mare's get-together."
  6863. >You blink.
  6864. "A mare's get-together. With you."
  6865. >"Indeed. And a few others from my circles."
  6866. "...Yeah, sure. Okay."
  6867. >You're a bit nervous, but you can't deny that you're massively intrigued by what this could possibly be about.
  6868. >Celestia clearly doesn't want to just spell it out for you, but that's fine.
  6869. >"Excellent. I know that I'll be taking you from your stallion, but I promise, it won't be for long. Come to the palace at six in the evening. You'll be escorted where you'll need to go."
  6870. "Very well, your highness."
  6871. >"That is all. Don't let me keep you. Go to your stallion."
  6872. >With a nod and a quick salute, you fly off.
  6873. >Making your way home, you realize you're still wearing your uniform, and that you forgot your key back in the HQ.
  6874. >You knock on the door, calling out.
  6875. "Hey, Anon! It's me!"
  6876. >He quickly opens it, looking you up and down.
  6877. >"Spitfire! Are you okay?!"
  6878. >You scoff.
  6879. "Never better. Why wouldn't I be okay?"
  6880. >"Well, a couple mares from your legal department came by earlier in the week, and-"
  6881. >You laugh as you shush him with a wing.
  6882. "Relax. It's all been dealt with. Some ponies tried to smear my name, but it didn't go very well for them."
  6883. >"Oh. That's good."
  6884. "Now, come on. You're good with clothes, help me get out of this thing."
  6885. >You sigh in pleasure as Anon helps you get undressed.
  6886. >There's still things to do, places to be.
  6887. >Still need to write to your parents, then there's Celestia's mysterious invitation...
  6888. >None of that matters at the moment, though.
  6889. >All that matters is your stallion's scent in your nose, and the sensation of your tongues intertwining as you passionately kiss him.

Size doesn't matter

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Politeness costs nothing

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It's not gay

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Crystal bells

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Anon in RGREldritch Equestria

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