Four Purple Ponies try to Solve the Worlds Problems 1.8



                                            Night Glider:

                                            2:30 PM


                                            ========================================================================


                                            > Amethyst and I were on our way to the brothel

                                            > I was beginning to understand why Twilight was so annoyed by this mare

                                            > Not only is she slow, but she avoided everything that she deemed "contaminated"

                                            > Which in her mind was practically….everything.

                                            > She planned each step with care and would side step over every tiny puddle.

                                            > Dodge every plastic bag blowing in the wind

                                            > And break down at the sight of every piece of litter in her path…

                                            > It was testing my patience


                                            > I wanted to grab her by the hoof and drag her down the street kicking and screaming

                                            > I'm a busy mare! I don't have time for this!

                                            > But I knew its best not to touch her

                                            > Not only would it be rude, but probably be a bad idea in the long run.

                                            > I don't want to be like Twilight.

                                            > And I could tell that Amethyst was still peeved about losing her scrub


                                            > I went into my bag and grabbed a face cloth and wrapped it arond my hoof

                                            > I offered her my hoof

                                            > She looked down at it with skepticism

                                            "It's clean, I promise."

                                            > She grabbed my hoof gently

                                            > I'll be it slowly, and only after she doused it in sanitizer

                                            > But thankfully, It got easier after that


                                            “So what's this investigation about?”

                                            > “You don’t know? I thought you would be doing your own inquiry for the PPMP.”

                                            “Yeah, they don’t tell me everything…I’m just a their delivery pony,”

                                            > “Well, Twilight and I are investigating a murder. A mare was killed in an apartment block not far from here.”

                                            “That's awful.”

                                            > “The suspect also tried to eat her. I’ve never heard of such a thing happening before.”

                                            > “And this pony is still in Sugar Mountains?”

                                            > “As far as we know. All we know about her is what Treehugger told us. Purple unicorn mare with a fish cutie mark.”


                                            > For some reason this description was ringing a bell

                                            > It almost sounded like that monarch-supporting pony Starlight and I kidnapped and tested Lunas belly-stuffing spell on.

                                            > But it couldn’t be.

                                            > Starlight said she undid the spell when she released her

                                            > Unless…Starlight lied to me?

                                            > …

                                            > No. She wouldn’t lie to me

                                            > Would she?


                                            “Hey, Amethyst! Funny question, but do you happen to know anything about her political affiliation?”

                                            > Amy laughed “Trying to guess a ponies political beliefs in Sugar Mountains is impossible! This place is a melting pot of bad ideas.”

                                            > That was the most reasonable thing this mare has said since I met her

                                            > We continued down the street


                                            “If you don’t mind me asking, where do you stand politically?”

                                            > Amy thought for a moment

                                            > “I believe in the monarchy. An unpopular opinion I know, but I also think that there should be more funding going towards helping ponies. A place like Sugar Mountains shouldn't exist and ponies shouldn’t go hungry in a country where eighty-five percent of the land is fertile.”

                                            “Soooo….What exactly does that make you?”

                                            > “Lets just say that if I could choose a leader for Equestria it wouldn’t be Celestia, and it sure as heck wouldn’t be Twilight. The only princess who seems to care about other ponies is Cadance."


                                            “Oh, you’re one of them.” I laughed

                                            > “What do you mean? Can you name a pony who would be a better leader?”

                                            “Well…What do you think about Starlight Glimmer?”

                                            > “Oh, Night Glider! Quit joking around! She’s a radical, equality-terrorist!” She laughed

                                            “I can see why one would think that. She can be a little extreme, but I believe that her intentions are good. Starlight isn’t the problem, it’s Twilight.”


                                            > She looked quizzical and as she thought I could see herself growing frustrated

                                            > Anger glazed over her eyes as she pulled her hoof away and stuck it in my face accusingly

                                            > “Listen! No pony hates Twilight more than me. She stole my job as town organizer, and is really rUde! But Twilight is a symptom of bad policy, not the sickness.”

                                            “You don’t think that Starlight doesn’t hate Twilight as well? She destroyed her entire town after all."

                                            > “Look, I’m just trying to make enough money to support myself, if it means working as Twilights note mare then that's the sacrifice I’ll make. you don't need to overthrow the entire system. Change starts with us. The little ponies who do their job and follow the rules. The working pony are often the vehicles for the biggest changes."


                                            "Jeez, you're preachy. I think you've been spending too much time around Twilight."

                                            > "You asked." Amy grumbled "If I had the Bits, I would move my mom and I to the Crystal Empire. I could work as a census taker or tax collector, or something of that nature. Then my mom would be in a place to get the help that she needs and I'll be happy living in nice, clean city making a honest living.”

                                            > Honest living

                                            > Tax collector

                                            > Give me a break!


                                            “Is your mom sick or something?"

                                            > “Lets just say that my mom isn't the most careful pony, even on her good days.” She laughed awkwardly

                                            > “She has a habit of…Breaking things due to her eyesight. Add a lifetime of eating McHoofies for dinner everyday… All I’ll say is those McHoofie hormones are a strange type of magic "


                                            “What's that supposed to mean?”

                                            > Amy looked up at her teats

                                            > "These don't run in the family. They're a product of fast and processed food."

                                            > "Fast food gives you massive tits?"

                                            "Apparently." She grumbled


                                            “I’m sorry to hear about your mom. It must be hard "

                                            > “Oh, don’t be! She loves it there! I still get asked about her all the time by the ponies in town. She has so many funny nicknames too!”

                                            “Oh. I see. You don’t have to….”

                                            > “And of course being her daughter, I have lots of funny nicknames! Back in school I was known as Amethditz!”

                                            “That sounds rough, but at least she was a good mom.”

                                            > “Oh yeah! She was great!” She cheered


                                            > We continued to walk

                                            > “Night Glider?”

                                            “Yes?”

                                            > “Is it normal for fillies to develop stress ulcers?”

                                            > ….

                                            “No, I don’t think that's very common Amy.”

                                            > “I didn’t think so.” She sighed


                                            > As we approached the brothel a foul smell began to arise.

                                            > I could see Amethyst beginning to have one of her panic attacks

                                            “It’s okay, just focus on your breath. We’ll be in and out in a couple minutes.”

                                            > “O…Ok…”


                                            > We walked inside and were greeted by a mare behind a counter fitted with steel bars

                                            > "Hello! Welcome to The Sugar House! How many mares do you want today?"

                                            > I looked at Amy who was breathing heavily

                                            > For once I didn't blame her

                                            > This place was filthier than a Sugar Belle and smelled just as bad


                                            “Actually, We’re looking for a mare. Blue coat, fish cutie mark, unicorn? You know her?”

                                            > "I think we have one of those!" The mare beamed

                                            > She jotted down the description and shoved it into a mail slot.

                                            > "Room number twelve."

                                            > She stared at us with a wide smile

                                            "I’m sorry…What?”

                                            > “You’re mare is waiting for you!” She smiled

                                            > I slammed my hoof over my head in frustration

                                            "No, we don't want an escort. We're looking for a very specific pony."

                                            > "Don't worry, I know exactly what you mean." She giggled.


                                            > She slid us a key under the bars and pointed down the hall

                                            > I took the key and the two of us walked down the hall to room number twelve.

                                            > When I opened the door a chubby mare in tight leather socks sat on the corner of the bed

                                            > she was rubbing the end of a riding crop between her thighs

                                            >"Hello girls." She moaned

                                            > "Are you two here to teach me a lesson?"


                                            > I couldn't believe it

                                            > It was her!

                                            > The mare Starlight and I had kidnapped!

                                            > From her blue coat to her mane

                                            > But something fishy was going on with her.

                                            > her cutie mark!

                                            > The mare we had kidnapped had a cutie mark with two dolphins

                                            > But this mare had a sad green tuna fish

                                            > Could there be two mares in Sugar Mountains with the same description?

                                            > No…

                                            > Something strange was going on here.


                                            > "Well?" The mare asked "Do you want to put me in my place?"

                                            > "Ummm…no?" Amethyst peeped

                                            > The mare slid off the bed and began circling us

                                            > "Oh! So you want ME to teach YOU a lesson?"

                                            > As she walked behind us she snapped her whip across Amethysts rump

                                            > "Ouch!" Amy cried


                                            > "But first, let's talk about payment. Threesomes are six bits."

                                            "That's a little cheap don't you think?"

                                            > "I've never heard anypony complain about our prices before. Trust me, I love my job."


                                            "What's your name?"

                                            > "I'm whoever you want me to be." She winked

                                            > I may not be the most observant pony but I knew one thing.

                                            > This wasn't the mare we were looking for

                                            “Are you familiar with a blue mare? She has a fish cutiemark….Actually, she looks just like you."

                                            > She rolled her eyes

                                            > “Sure, I know her. She's an amazing customer, but super weird."


                                            "Are you like her twin or something?"

                                            > She stared at me for a moment

                                            > "You don't know how this works do you? This is a changing brothel."

                                            > Amethyst nearly fainted but I caught her before she hit the floor

                                            "You're a changing?" I muttered

                                            > She sighed and began to transform

                                            > The blue coat peeled away revealing the black shells of armour across her insect body.

                                            > She tossed away her whip and sat on the bed

                                            > Her body was covered in bruises


                                            > "I'm guessing you don't want to make love now." She grumbled

                                            "Look, if it means anything we never came her to "make love" We just want to know about this mare."


                                            > "Well, funnily enough I know her well. You're talking about Si Si, right?"

                                            > "Who?"

                                            > "Seaswirl. She's one of my regulars. She’s a freak, just like any all of you ponies.”

                                            > "Thats rich coming from a bug!" Amy snapped


                                            > The Changelings face turned sour

                                            > “You ponies look down on us all you want, but look how easy it is to trick your kind. You ponies love to believe they have control and look down on us. Because were bugs and your mammals, you have taken that fact and now you believe that you’re the best creatures to walk the earth.”


                                            > “We are not creatures! We are ponies!”

                                            > “Nothing is more adorable than a ponies hubris. Your nature is far more revolting, violent and self destructive than any “creature.”

                                            > She pointed to her black eye and smiled

                                            > “If we didn’t feed on your love we would have wiped you ponies out long ago.

                                            > Amy was fuming

                                            > It was in this moment that I decided that I should step in


                                            “Look, can you just tell us where this mare is? We’ll be on our way.”

                                            > The Changeling rolled its eyes

                                            > "There are a lot of folks around here who want me to imitate their favourite ponies for them. Luna, Cadence, Celestia are all very popular….But I bet you can guess who the town's favourites are."

                                            > She pointed to her black eye

                                            > "Seaswirl’s better than most. She actually likes Twilight, most ponies want me to take her form to roughhouse. But her? She's the opposite, she loves Twilight. We cuddle all the time, kiss and loves getting pegged….Of course I enjoy her company. Her love of Twilight is so pure and delicious."

                                            > It began licking its lips


                                            > “Though, I can’t say I enjoy any ponies company and touching you revolts me…You’re so soft, your genitals smell vile and ooze disgusting juices and your tits are repulsive. They’re two lumps of fat hanging between your legs like dead weight filled with milk….”

                                            > The Changeling put its hoof over her mouth and looked like she was going to throw up

                                            > “You’re such a disgusting species, and the fact that you don’t realize how repulsive and primal you really are is both humorous and terrifying.

                                            > I was getting pretty sick of this talk


                                            "So, where is she now?

                                            > "It depends on who wants to know." The changeling smirked

                                            > Amy flashed her badge

                                            > "Ummm….Office of Investigations."

                                            > The Changeling squinted at the badge.

                                            .> "You're Amethysts Hooves."

                                            > "Yes..That's me." She gulped


                                            > "I'm not telling you anything you murderer!"

                                            > Murderer?

                                            > This bug must be confused

                                            > Amy’s harmless

                                            > "Oh please, Amy couldn't hurt a fly!"

                                            > The changeling hissed

                                            > Maybe that wasn't the best thing to say to a bug

                                            "Look, I promise you that Amy is nice."

                                            > "Clearly you don't understand our history. We had a leave our hive beneath Ponyville years ago because she shut it down!"


                                            > “It was a health hazard!” Amy cried

                                            “You had a Changeling problem in Ponyville?”

                                            > Amethyst sighed

                                            > “When I was a town organizer it was my job to keep everything tidy. I got rid of them, they were a health hazard."

                                            > “You gassed our tunnel with big spray! You killed hundreds of us!"

                                            > “It’s not my fault you’re all so disgusting and gross!”


                                            > I turned to her

                                            “I’m beginning to realize why Twilight took your job as town organizer.”

                                            > The Changeling pointed to Amy

                                            > “She's the reason we work as a traveling brothel. I have no problem with you, but her? She owes us if you want information."

                                            > “I’m sure that she’s sorry for what she did.”

                                            > I looked over at Amy who was shaking in anger

                                            > A smile grew over the creatures face


                                            > “How about we show you what we’ve been working on? We’ll discuss reparations there."

                                            > The changeling led us down the hall to an elevator that took us underground.

                                            > The trip lasted about a minute and when the doors opened a small system of caves lied beyond the elevator doors.

                                            > We walked through the dank tunnels until we entered a large room


                                            > Inside was a fat caterpillar like changeling laying in the floor

                                            > The changeling that led us to this rancid place bowed to the caterpillar changeling

                                            > "Look who I found!" It cheered

                                            > The caterpillars eyes lit up

                                            > “Amethyst!” The creature growled “You’re looking swell.”

                                            “Who are you?” Amy peeped

                                            > “I’m the Princess of the Crystal Changelings.”


                                            “I thought that Chrysalis ruled over all Changelings?”

                                            > She stuck out her tongue in disgust

                                            > "Her hive is located west of the smoky mountains, an arid land not suitable for our kind. We prefer a cooler climate."


                                            > “What do you want from me?” Amy asked with trembling legs

                                            > “I’ve been planning this revenge for a long time and I think I found the perfect repayment.”

                                            > She began to laugh to herself

                                            > “It’s simple really. I want to stuff your belly full of eggs, It's our way of reproduction. We call it Oviposition.”

                                            > Amy fainted

                                            > I caught her head before it hit the floor

                                            > Though the thought of a pony being stuffed with eggs made my heart flutter


                                            > “Look, I know you’re angry but you can’t do that.” I argued

                                            > “Why not? I think it's reasonable considering her crimes.” She hissed


                                            “You are not filling her with eggs.”

                                            > “Oh, Please! It’ll only take a week, any respecting broodling does this.”

                                            > Amy awoke in my legs and jumped to her hooves


                                            > “First of all! This entire place is against all zoning laws, and secondly, I’m not a changeling!”

                                            > “Oh, don’t be so prudish.” She replied harshly

                                            > She slithered towards us and drew a smile over Amys mask with the slime painted along the walls of the tunnel

                                            > “I can tell that you’re used to carrying heavy things.” She teased

                                            > The queen lifted her backside which was oozing with green slime.


                                            > She turned to me and in a flash I found myself in the grips of two changelings

                                            > "This might take a while. But on't worry, I'll have your little friend back safe and sound."


                                            > The changelings roughly escorted me out of the cave, back up the elevator and back onto the streets of Sugar Mountains.

                                            > The doors slammed behind me and I heard the lock click as blinds were drawn in the windows


                                            > I decided to take this time to run up back to Starlight

                                            > I needed a lactation spell if I wanted to keep up this rouse

                                            > I had so much to tell her and a couple issues I needed to question her on.

                                            > Starlight is many things but I never took her for a liar…