Four Purple Ponies Try to Solve the Worlds Problems 2.3


                                            Night Glider:

                                            > Probably around like, 5:00 PM?

                                            > I


                                            ========================================================================================

                                            > In the doorway leading to Ivy's apartment complex was an unflattering picture my face between the borders of a wanted poster

                                            > Placed between a Griffin election sign and a protest poster written in Crystal Ponish

                                            > Derpy pointed to the sign and giggled “Hey look! It’s you!”

                                            > This picture was a slap in the face and left me in a trance


                                            > With my eyes locked on the photo I slowly lowered her hoof.

                                            > I feared this would happen

                                            > My mind was racing

                                            > After all this time I was sure that Starlight and I left the scene clean

                                            > But I guess it wasn’t clean enough

                                            > Somehow they were able to figure out it was us

                                            > Or at least me.


                                            > This was bad

                                            > The royal guards were on my tail.

                                            > And if this poster had reached Sugar Mountains, it was obvious to assume that it had reached across all of Equestria by now.


                                            > “So, what did you do?” Derpy asked flickering her ears

                                            “I…I…Nothing! Look, let's just do what I came here to do and get back to the hotel without being seen.”

                                            > She scrunched her nose and nodded

                                            > It seems that raising my voice had frightened her


                                            > I don’t know why Derpy decided to come with me.

                                            > But I didn't mind her company.

                                            > Honestly, I prefer her company over Amys.

                                            > At least in some ways.

                                            > Derpy didn’t worry about stepping in puddles, garbage or germs, and kept up a good pace.

                                            > Which surprised me considering the massive knockers between her legs.


                                            > She seemed like a mare with a pure soul

                                            > A pony who probably would've joined the movement if given the opportunity.

                                            > But despite being a kind mare, she’s also kinda gross. And I think the ground was getting dirtier from her touching it than the other way around


                                            > Derpy is an unkempt pony

                                            > She’s fat, sweaty and has a very greasy mane.

                                            > Her chubby cheeks are peppered with acne and beneath her eyes rested dark, sleepy circles

                                            > Her wings were a sickly sight.

                                            > Or at least what was left of them.

                                            > What was left of her wingspan were a couple feathers hanging sadly along her porous pink nubs


                                            > Despite her feeble appearance she trudged up the stairs with ease

                                            > Her large breasts clapped along the stairs and she showed no signs of agitation

                                            > Unlike myself.

                                            > I was struggling to pull my back end up every step without losing balance

                                            > When we reached the top of the stairwell I wiped my brow


                                            “How do you do it?” I asked through heavy breaths

                                            > “Do what?” She asked innocently

                                            “How do you walk around with those giant things dragging behind you?”

                                            > She looked behind her and giggled

                                            > “Oh! Honestly,I think it just takes practice. You have very nice breasts by the way."

                                            "Thanks…"

                                            > "Do you have hormone problems too?”

                                            “Hormone problems? Is that why your boobs are so big?”


                                            > She nodded happily

                                            > “Apparently I got them from eating too much McHoofies. The doctor said I have a really bad case of hormonal imbalance.I found that to be confusing and a little hard to believe, but when he told me all the bad things that can happen from eating McHoofies everyday I was shocked! I never thought eating McHoofies was actually bad for you!"


                                            > is she being serious right now?

                                            “Not to be rude, but I think it's a well known fact that McHoofies is one of the worst things you can eat."

                                            > She looked thoughtful for a moment

                                            > “Amethyst tells me that all the time, but she loved McHoofies as a filly. It's all we ever ate! Now suddenly she’s blaming me for everything.” She sighed

                                            > “Amethyst put me in a home because of my boobs, and I barely see her anymore, and when she visits she’s always so angry at me…I thought a McHoofies family was supposed to be a happy family….I don’t know what went wrong.”


                                            “Do you think that she’s irritable because of a hormonal imbalance?” I suggested

                                            > Her eyes shot open and she nodded feverishly

                                            > An excited smile grew across her face

                                            “Maybe that's why she's so cranky! Nowadays all I ever see her eat is salad. I bet if she ate more McHoofies she would get her hormones back!”

                                            > Oh no

                                            > She really is this dumb…

                                            “That's not exactly what I meant. I really think the two of you would benefit from a proper diet. It seems like the two of you are on complete opposite ends of the spectrum.”


                                            > She raised her hoof to her chin and shot me a concerning look

                                            >  “What do you mean?”

                                            “Well, what's your diet now?”

                                            > “Mostly coffee, muffins, candy and fast food.”

                                            “Have you considered eating fruits?”

                                            > “Fruits taste too fruity! But what I really like are those tiny fruit flavoured gummy candies…They're basically the same thing right?”

                                            > It's a miracle this mare is still alive

                                            > She has no understanding of proper diet at all


                                            > Her belly began to rumble, causing her barrel to shake

                                            > Her eyes popped open and she turned red

                                            > “Oh my! T..That's a weird feeling.” She chuckled nervously “How embarrassing.”

                                            > Oh no

                                            > The spell was already kick in

                                            > “Getting hungry?” I sighed

                                            > She put her her hoof over her tummy and nodded

                                            > “My stomach feels really angry.”

                                            > I grabbed her hoof trying not to think about how filthy it was

                                            > (Now I know how Amy feels)

                                            “It’s okay, just try to ignore it. I’m sure it’ll pass.”

                                            > She smiled and I smiled back


                                            > For a mare who’s spent her entire life eating trash she was surprisingly healthy.

                                            > Other than looking like a zombie of course


                                            > We made our way down the hall to Ivy's apartment.

                                            > I knocked on the door and within a seconds we were greeted by Ivy who smiled ear to ear when she saw me

                                            > "Look who it is! Did you talk to Sugar Belle for me?”

                                            "I did.”


                                            > Her eyes drifted slightly to the left where Derpy stood

                                            > "Nighty…Who's this?'

                                            “Oh, This is Derpy”

                                            > "Hello!"  Derpy sang

                                            > Ivy adorned the most awkward expression

                                            > She looked halfway between pitiful and disgusted

                                            > But mostly confused

                                            > "Ummm…hello Derpy, I’m Ivy Vine.”

                                            > The two stared at each other for a long awkward moment until Ivy spun her head back to me

                                            > “I'm sorry…But who exactly is this pony?"

                                            > "She's Amy's mom."

                                            "And Who's Amy?" She asked tapping her hoof impatiently


                                            > She was starting to look annoyed

                                            > I wish I could tell her but I really didn’t have the time.

                                            “Some fed Twilight and I are working with. It doesn't matter because I have some very important news and…"

                                            “You're working with Twilight now? Night Glider. What the hell is going on?"

                                            > I slammed my hoof over my forehead and closed my eyes tightly

                                            > Why did she have to ask so many questions!?

                                            "It's complicated.” I sighed, trying to keep myself collected

                                            > “Look, can I just come in?”


                                            > She nodded and stepped aside

                                            > I could feel her glaring at us as we made our way into the kitchen


                                            > We entered the kitchen and sat at the table

                                            > Derpy sat beside me and Ivy across

                                            > Her eyes were glued to Derpys nipple which was poking from beneath the tablecloth

                                            > “Wow Mrs. Derpy, you sure have some nice…assets.”

                                            > Derpy started to laugh

                                            > “You can call me Derpy. Only the nurses call me miss.”


                                            > “I see…” Ivy replied, eyes glued to Derpy's fat nipple

                                            > I could tell Ivy was impressed by the size of Derpy's mammaries

                                            > She always had a thing for large breasts

                                            > I jumped from my seat and lifted my left back leg into the air

                                            “Check these out Ivy! I think I got some pretty nice breasts myself.”

                                            > I narrowed my eyes trying to look seductive but I could tell that my large was ruining the look I was trying to achieve


                                            > She gave me a quick glance before rolling her eyes and turning her attention back to Derpy

                                            > “So Derpy, would you like something to eat?”


                                            > Derpy nodded “Yeah! I’m super hungry.”

                                            > “Well your in luck, I make the best vegetable stew.”

                                            > I was left standing with my leg to the sky feeling like a complete fool

                                            > Ivy walked to the stove and poured a serving of vegetables saturated in green brine into a small bowl then served her with a folded napkin and a large spoon


                                            > It looked amazing and smelled even better

                                            > Derpy stared at the bubbling broth with disgust

                                            > “Don’t you have anything better?” She asked like a stubborn filly

                                            > Ivy looked offended


                                            > “Better? What do ya mean better? I spent hours working on this.”

                                            > Derpy pushed the bowl away

                                            > “This looks gross! I want something tasty.”

                                            > Ivy looked taken aback

                                            > I could see in her eyes that she was starting to get annoyed

                                            > “And what would you consider tasty?” She asked through gritting teeth

                                            > Derpy thought for a moment

                                            > “Do you have any cookies?”

                                            > Ivy pulled herself from her seat again and grabbed a package of sugar cookies from the cupboard and tossed it on the table in front of Derpy


                                            > “Knock yourself out.” She grumbled

                                            > Derpy ripped open the package and began chowing down

                                            > Ivy rolled her eyes and took a seat across from me again

                                            “It's always the pretty ones with the worst taste.” She sighed


                                            > I turned to Derpy who was too busy chowing down on the stale looking cookies to notice what Ivy had said

                                            > I couldn’t believe what I was hearing

                                            > If Derpy’s pretty than I must a  a-gosh-darn-dorable!


                                            > Ivy leaned in close and an excited expression twisted across her face

                                            > “So what's the news? Did I get a job? Or even better, a transfer?”

                                            > I froze

                                            > I wasn’t able to get either of those things

                                            > I didn’t know what to say, but I knew for certain…

                                            > This was going to be painful.

                                            > I hung my head and told her the truth


                                            “No, Sugar Belle was no help at all. If I were you I would sneak yourself outta here and catch a train back into civilized Equestria.”

                                            > She scowled and her tone turned sour

                                            > “You really are an idiot Nighty…I can’t just leave, this is all I have. This apartment, the food in my cupboards and Purple Springs.”

                                            “Good, then you have very little to lose. You can pick yourself up and leave without any heavy lifting.”

                                            > I could take the insults when we were a couple, but now that we're through I had no problem shovelling the same attitude back into her insensitive face.


                                            > Ivy looked like she was gonna blow a gasket

                                            > “Okay Nighty, you need to back up for a minute. Am I missing something? When did we decide that you’re in charge of what I do? It seems that your solution to everything is running away without thinking of the consequences. Train tickets out of Sugar Mountains will cost me my two front legs without a transfer and where am I supposed to go once I’m in Equestria proper? Move in with my old boyfriend? My cutie mark is a leaf Nighty, a darn leaf! What jobs can I do that would help me raise Purple Springs on my own?”


                                            > Again with the leaf stuff

                                            > Nothing makes me wanna roll my eyes into the back of my head like whining about her cutie mark.

                                            > Sometimes I think the only reason she joined the movement is because she hates her cutie mark

                                            > But I don’t blame her

                                            >I would remove my cutie mark to if it was a flippin' leaf


                                            > I exhaled and tried a calmer approach

                                            > Being short with Ivy is never a good option, but if she knew how bad things were getting she would heed my warnings

                                            “Look, I didn’t mean to say it like that. But I’m imploring you to skip town before something really bad happens.”

                                            > Ivy stared at me suspiciously

                                            > Derpy reached across the table and poked her shoulder then pointed to her scrunched snout

                                            > “What is it?” Ivy hissed

                                            > A puff of dry cookie crumbs blew out of her mouth like a cloud

                                            > Derpy began to cough

                                            > “Dry!” She cried

                                            > Ivy rolled her eyes and went to the window sill

                                            > She grabbed a bottle of milk resting along the open window and passed it to Derpy who began chugging


                                            > Ivy took her seat again and leaned close to me

                                            > “You’re up to something. I haven’t seen you in a year and suddenly you appear out of nowhere trying to push me out of town? Mighty suspicious if you ask me.”

                                            “Care to explain?”

                                            > “What are you and Starlight planning?”


                                            > My heart skipped a beat

                                            “Nothing!”

                                            > “I don’t believe you. You two are up to something rotten, I can smell it.”

                                            “Ivy, I know you’re mad at me but you have to believe me! I mean you no harm! I just know that something awful is going to happen! And I have a plan that will get you and Purple out of the city, you just need to trust me.”


                                            > She leaned back in her seat

                                            > Relaxed but skeptical

                                            > “I’m listening.”

                                            “I’m going to attend a party with Princess Twilight and Princess Cadance tonight. I want you to come with me. If anypony can get you a transfer it's a princess. But you have to be there to make your case.”

                                            > “Cozying up to princesses, giving yourself teats, coming back into my life and immediately trying to ship me out of town?”

                                            “What do you want from me?”

                                            > I was at my wits end

                                            > If she wanted me to beg I would fall to knees and kiss her hooves if I knew she would listen to me


                                            > In the corner of my eye I saw Purple Springs peaking around the corner

                                            > We locked eyes for a second before she slowly began creeping back behind the wall

                                            > “I hear you over there little mare.” Ivy warned without turning her head

                                            > Purple Springs sighed and dragged her hoofs into the kitchen


                                            > Derpy tilted her head towards her and when she saw Purple Springs her eyes lit up like neon signs

                                            > “Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! You’re adorable!”

                                            > She jumped out of her seat, but in her excitement, she tripped over the leg of her chair and fell face first on the floor

                                            > She was quick to recover though and shot back onto her hooves like nothing happened

                                            > Derpy gripped Purple Springs in a tight hug and squeezed her face into her cheek

                                            > Purple looked exacerbated and anxious as she tried to pry Derpy's hooves from around her shoulders


                                            Derpy’s voice was filled with joy as she rocked the tiny filly back and forth

                                            > “You look just like my daughter did when she was a filly!”

                                            > Ivy raised an eyebrow

                                            > “Wait…Derpy, You’re a mom?”

                                            > Derpy nodded “Yep! I have a daughter named Amethyst, she’s the sweetest mare in all of Equestria.”

                                            > Ivy began to blush


                                            > “I see…How old were you when you had her?”

                                            > Derpy looked up and began to think

                                            > “I was around…nineteen I think….”

                                            > “No way! I was the same age when I had Purple.”

                                            > “How old are you?” Derpy asked

                                            > “I’m twenty seven. You?”

                                            > “Thirty six.” Derpy nodded

                                            > A silence fell over the room

                                            > “Well, if Amethyst is anything like My Purple, you and your husband should be proud.”

                                            > Derpy excitement faded

                                            > “Oh…I don’t have a husband.”


                                            > “I’m sorry to hear that, did he pass?”

                                            > Derpy nodded

                                            > “I think so…Because the last time I saw him was when I told him I was pregnant…I don’t know where he went after that. He said he was going to buy me some Muffins but he never came back.”

                                            > “Stallions are all the same.” Ivy grumbled

                                            > “He was a good pony, I just wish he stayed around to watch Amethyst grow up, I think he would be very proud of her.”

                                            > Ivy smiled “I like you Derpy, you’re so positive.”


                                            > A dumb smile rolled across Derpys face

                                            > “Lots of ponies tell me that!”

                                            > “I would like to get to know you better, how about you stay here with me and we’ll go to the party together.”


                                            > I was shocked

                                            > Was I not sitting right across from her!?

                                            > “What about me?” I asked meekly

                                            > Ivy turned to me looking unamused

                                            > “I’m sure you can find somepony at the party that's closer to your age.”

                                            > My jaw dropped


                                            > What the heck is with this cold shoulder!?

                                            > I thought she was happy I was back in her life!

                                            > Now she wants to go on her fake date with Derpy of all ponies?

                                            > Does she not know how much that will complicate my story?

                                            > Does she not like me anymore!?


                                            > “What are you talking about!? Derpy's nine years older than you! Look at her for crying out loud! Her eyes! her wings! You can’t be THAT bad of a judge of character! I know that neither of you are a good judge of character! But I thought that you of all ponies would learn from your mistakes! This was my idea and you would rather go with her over me!? Can’t you see that she’s a total…”


                                            > Ivy threw her hoof over my muzzle

                                            > “Choose your next words very carefully.” She said in a low threatening tone

                                            > A lump in my throat began to form

                                            > I was already regretting my outburst

                                            > I closed my eyes and fell back into my seat

                                            > defeated

                                            > Rejected

                                            > Humiliated


                                            > I want to crawl into a hole and never come out

                                            > “What happened to you?”

                                            > I crossed my legs over my chest and turned my head towards the wall

                                            “What do you mean?” I grumbled

                                            > “You are such a child.” Ivy said

                                            > She had pity in her voice

                                            “Shut up.”


                                            > “Who even are you anymore? You left me when I needed you most to run away with Starlight to pursue Equality, which was an awful thing to do to your best friend but at least it showed that you’re loyal to at least something. I’m happy you’re back but I don’t even know who I’m talking to. You’re insulting me in my own house, you won’t look Purple Springs in the eye and are making fun of the type of ponies we were supposed to be helping. What happened to all ponies being equal? What makes you better than Derpy? It looks to me like you’ve forgotten the entire point of the movement and you’re flailing around like a fish out of water looking for purpose. I thought I’d be happy seeing you grow out of Starlight's ridiculous ideology, but this is just pathetic.”

                                            “I..I..”

                                            > “You can’t abandon me for a year and come back into my life like this…I won’t let you put me through that again.”

                                            > Before I could reply Ivy wrapped her leg around Derpys shoulder

                                            > Ivy brushed some cookie crumbs out of Derpys chest fluff and the two began to walk out of the room

                                            > “Okay Derpy, let's get ready for this party.”


                                            > Now it was just Purple Springs and I

                                            > We locked eyes with blank faces

                                            > There was so much I wanted to say

                                            > But what would an apology even do at this point?

                                            > I messed up so badly.

                                            > Everything would be so much better if I had stayed with Ivy…


                                            > Purples eyes were just like Ivys

                                            > And aside from her color, it was like I was starting at a younger version of Ivy

                                            > With her tiny, tattered wonderbolts coat and little fur boots

                                            > The room was dead silent

                                            > My head hurts and I was starting to feel sick

                                            > I’m alone with my guilt

                                            > It's staring me in the face looking me dead in the eye

                                            > And I’m too much of a coward to apologize


                                            > “Nighty?” She peeped

                                            > This was going to be a painful conversation

                                            “Yeah?” I sighed

                                            > “Are you and Starlight okay? I haven't seen her in a long time…Are you keeping her safe like you said you were?”

                                            > I rested my head over my hooves and stared at the table

                                            > Sweet Celestia…

                                            > Ivy was right

                                            > I can’t do it


                                            > “What are you doing here?”

                                            “I don’t know what you mean.”

                                            > Why won’t she just leave me alone?

                                            > “You made my mom sad before…And you made me sad…Please stop making us sad.”

                                            “Purple…”

                                            > “She cried when you left this morning. And it makes me really, really upset seeing her cry.”


                                            > Her voice trembled and she began to bawl

                                            “I’m sorry Purple, I really am...”

                                            > “Nighty?” she sniffled

                                            > She was crying hard now

                                            “Yes, Purple?”

                                            > “Why do you hate my mom so much?”