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Everypony always asks: what does Rainbow Dash get up to after that Wonderbolts practice session? Well, she goes to exercise at Big Fire's gym in Cloudsdale. It's a three day upper/lower/wings split, six days a week.
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And they always say, Rainbow, you can't be serious! Doing a workout on top of one of the most rigorous practice routines known to ponykind? You're a psychopath. Well, I prefer the term "psycho fast."
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'Cause that's what I intend to be:
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The demon who's speedin', but also benchin' three for reps at least.
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The magical-radical-can't-catch-it so fast, but she can lateral raise up a
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plate and play it with intensity.
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Just let me get my bag, for sweatin' got my rag, my pre-workout is average, kinda tastes like trash… because I know what trash tastes like.
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(To reduce, reuse your refuse.)
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Hey!
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And don't forget to bring a drink…
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'cause in the heat of it, she just don't need to dehydrate.
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Or you'll be drier with muscles on fire than that pony Twi when she's deprived of sleep and fiendin' for that sweet caffeine.
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I'm here to get more strong, but something's kinda wrong, (Party down in the gym…)
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Why do I hear a song? It's messing up my calm
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I'm making out the sound, it's getting kinda loud,
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I'm stepping in the door, what the fuck?
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It's like the bottom of a rock from Froggy Bottom Bogg.
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Wall to wall, a conga string of fitness mockery.
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The oddities opposite offering my ocular orb unignorable deplorable,
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exploring up the world of what a workout ought to be.
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Then it hit me, a gimme, I felt a little dizzy.
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You need to be aware, me, in the month of January.
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When these mares are dreamin' of cleaning, the plates get to ringing,
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And Pinkie's in the corner singing:
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Party down in the gym! (Working hard and working on a whim!)
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Now's the time to make a change!
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Party down in the gym! (Put your towels into the bin!)
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Working out a little strange!
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Party down in the gym! (Even if your form is kinda grim…)
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If you don't know where to begin…
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Party down in the gym! (Forget your six pack, you're packed in a tin!)
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Come on down, you'll fit right in!
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(gonna fit right i-)
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The machines are packed, the weight racks amassed a batch of cats just havin' battles, that's so wack…
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I try not to acknowledge her as she balance acts on stacks of platters at the back.
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Now I'm repping calisthenics, 'cause these menaces can't even let us bench for just a little bit
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I'm not trying to discredit it if you meant it and you've checked in and sweatin', not messin', get athletic benefit
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But the back of my brain is telling me
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least half these gains are temporary in January
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Next month after this pain, let's wager, G,
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just at where, say, you'd think these mares will be?
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Take a check at her form, and we can see
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The risk to horn for injury over hypertrophy
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The purple unicorn, wait a minute…
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RD: You're not a pegasus.
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TS: Oh! Hi, Rainbow!
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RD: What are you doing here?
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TS: What does it look like I'm doing?
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RD: No, not that. I mean, what are you doing all the way up here in Cloudsdale?
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TS: Well, there's a 90% off New Year's discount. Figured now's as good a time as any to work on my fitness.
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RD: So you just cast a cloudwalking spell and came up here by yourself.
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TS: Well, not just myself… do I not get to bring friends?
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Party down in the gym! (Working hard and working on a whim!)
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Now's the time to make a change!
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Party down in the gym! (Put your towels into the bin!)
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Working out a little strange!
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Party down in the gym! (Even if your form is kinda grim…)
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If you don't know where to begin…
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Party down in the gym! (Forget your six pack, you're packed in a tin!)
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Come on down, you'll fit right in!
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TS: Are you seriously going to tell me that you didn't notice Pinkie Pie just standing over there.
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RD: Well, she's Pinkie Pie. I'm not going to ask a question like that when it comes to her.
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TS: Or, you know, any of the other Earth ponies or unicorns running around.
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RD: Well, normally, I would be trying to focus on my workout. But I guess thanks to that discount and you, things are getting a little crazy around here.
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RD: And can you stop doing that?
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TS: What?
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RD: It's driving me nuts.
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TS: What? What am I not supposed to be doing?
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RD: Stop using your magic at the bottom of every rep.
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TS: I need to use effort to use my magic too!
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RD: Yeah, but then it's not a bench press! If you want to do bench presses, then don't use your magic!
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TS: Oh, whatever… Why are you being such a pain about this?
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Party down in the gym! (Working hard and working on a whim!)
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Now's the time to make a change!
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Party down in the gym! (Put your towels into the bin!)
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Working out a little strange!
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Party down in the gym! (Even if your form is kinda grim…)
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If you don't know where to begin…
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Party down in the gym! (Forget your six pack, you're packed in a tin!)
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Come on down, you'll fit right in!
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Timbale solo!
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(Timbale solo with Pinkie Pie ad libbing)
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Stomp those hooves if this gets you in the groove!
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Down in the gym, so it's time to show your moves!
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Work those weights like they owe something to you!
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Pump that iron like you've got nothing to lose!
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(Pinkie Pie kazoo)
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Party down in the gym! Hoo!
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If you don't know where to begin…
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Party down in the gym!
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Come on down, you'll fit right in!
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