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The Misadventures of Derpy Hooves season 2 episode 2

By Shroooomy
Created: 2023-06-11 00:26:25
Updated: 2023-06-11 00:27:11
Expiry: Never
twilight sparklefluttershypinkie piensfwderpylactationmilkmultiboobpart of a seriesthe misadventures of derpy hoovesbig crotch boobs

  1. Season 2 Episode 2: Strong, Loyal and Proud
  2.  
  3. Pinkie:
  4.  
  5. > In some ways, working for Derpy Deliveries is a blessing
  6. > It's definitely one of the easiest jobs I've ever had…
  7. > I can drink in the job
  8. > Stop for dessert
  9. > And mess around for hours and still get paid!
  10.  
  11. > Back when Muffins worked at the post office she would constantly talk about how hard being a mail pony is and the unspoken nobility that the profession carries.
  12. > I’ve been delivering mail for a couple weeks now, and I’m struggling to find ANYTHING of worth in this job, let alone this “nobility” She’s always talking about.
  13.  
  14. > Perhaps it's because I only make two deliveries a day. (If I'm lucky)
  15. > It could also be because we steal our mail from the post office and paste Derpy Deliveries stickers over the post office stamps.
  16. > Or MAYBE I don’t feel the same amount of pride that she does because I know that this entire company is a farce and we’ve all just kinda agreed to humor her.
  17. > I think we’ve passed the point of no return with Muffins.
  18. > Telling her this entire operation is a sham would crush her.
  19. > I don't think anypony dares to tell Muffins the truth anymore because we've all been humoring her delusions for so long that telling her the truth would probably crush her.
  20. > Regardless of the legitimacy of this business, she’s a dedicated little mare. I’ll give her that at least.
  21.  
  22. > But whoever told her that delivering mail is some kind of “Righteous profession” Needs a slap upside the head, because they brainwashed her something fierce
  23. > I feel no honor, and receive no glory giving ponies their taxes
  24.  
  25. > It baffles me how Muffins constantly makes the worst possible life decisions.
  26. > I know it's rich coming from a pony with a history cum stained in lies as mine, but seriously?
  27. > Opening her own mail company was the best thing she could think of with all that time off?
  28.  
  29. > She could have used her unemployment to try something completely new and interesting.
  30. > But instead she committed herself to delivering mail like it's her life's purpose.
  31. > If she needed direction she could always look to her cutie mark
  32. > Celestia knows what the heck a cutie mark consisting of bubbles means, but she should console in that if she needs direction because being a delivery pony doesn’t seem to be in the cards for her.
  33.  
  34. > The only ponies still using Derpy Deliveries are Applejack and the Cakes.
  35. > Two customers is Hardly a market, and swinging by either of their houses is enough to keep her only delivery mare (me) loaded off her flank.
  36. > I don't mind delivering to Applejack when Dash isn't around but the Cakes are an entirely different story.
  37. > After what I did to their business, marriage and sanity I try to stay as far away from Sugar Cube Corner as possible.
  38.  
  39. > Sometimes when Muffins is feeling especially bored she will accompany me on my deliveries
  40. > “Buddy Delivery” Is what she calls it
  41. > Those are the worst days….
  42. > "Pinkie….Is it just me, or does Twilight have bigger boobs than usual?" She asked
  43. > Seriously? She thinks I didn't notice?
  44. > Wow! Great observation Muffins!
  45. > For the love of Equestria, how did my life lead to this?
  46.  
  47. > I guess we really are just a couple poor choices away from becoming cautiously tales
  48. > My shameful past has led me down a road of complete social isolation.
  49. > It’s sad to say, but Muffins and I share the same seat at bottom step of social stairway
  50. > We are fully fledged members of the ever growing club of untouchable mares
  51. > Pariahs Ponyville wishes to get rid of.
  52. > To be shunned so aggressively that we disappear like Cloudchaser.
  53.  
  54. > After the details of my blackmailing scheme became public I've been living the life of a scorned, unwelcome creature who wanders the streets of town receiving no common courtesy or welcoming smiles.
  55. > Just as Muffins is the crazy clutz of Ponyville. I've become the blighted whore of Ponyville.
  56. > And it’s all my fault.
  57.  
  58.  
  59. >Because of my crippled social status I was forced to take this foolish job.
  60. > Nobody trusts me to keep my hoofs anymore and they all keep me at legs length.
  61. > I've become very well acquainted with Muffins through my employment and I’m slowly learning that many of the rumors surrounding her ring uncomfortably true.
  62. > She isn’t bright mare
  63. > And while I've always known this, working with her closely has exposed me to her most distasteful traits.
  64.  
  65. > All I'll say about Muffins is that if she was a bird, she'd be a carrier pigeon.
  66. > A fat, mindless, gray dove who survives on junk food burdening ponies with taxes, advertisements, grief, love and hate strapped to her back without thought.
  67. > Delivery mares are always the harbingers of bad news.
  68. > Another reason why she isn't very popular.
  69.  
  70. > Muffin's is slower than the average pony.
  71. > Incredibly distractible, holds strange/borderline dangerous beliefs and most importantly, my new best friend
  72. > She's simple, poorly washed and seems to lack understanding of reality
  73. > She's also annoying and doesn't seem to be aware of just how peculiar she comes off to everypony else.
  74.  
  75. > But with that said, she's not the worst boss in the world
  76. > In fact, She's very friendly and sociable.
  77. > But helping her write reports and reminding her to pay me is annoying
  78.  
  79. > She's gotten better at keeping track of things once she started writing her to-do lists in her tits, but sometimes her boobs are covered in so much marker I don't know how she can even read them!
  80. > And as the milk flows and she starts to sweat, the ink washes away leaving her breasts looking like cursed Rorschach tests.
  81.  
  82. > I'm patient, and she’s ultimately benign despite how strange she is.
  83. > So we get along great most days.
  84. > But when I'm in an especially bad mood (like today) she's hard to tolerate.
  85. > Muffins has been following me like a puppy dog since we left the library
  86. > Trailing behind me with a marker between her gums, doodling over her clevage
  87.  
  88. > "Pinkie?"
  89. > I turned and saw her staggering to catch up in her milk soaked bra
  90. > Her bras are saturated in milk at all times
  91. > So much so, that anypony with vision even as poor as hers can see through the fabric.
  92.  
  93. > My eyes locked onto her chest
  94. > Even after all this time, I can’t stop staring at those two ever leaking, balls of mushy fat beneath her chin.
  95. > The threadbare fabric had molded Around her nipples leaving nothing to the imagination
  96. > I could even see her veins.
  97. > Swollen meandering arteries traveling along her compressed bust pulsated
  98. > It looked very uncomfortable
  99. > If the purpose of these outfits are to hide her boobs, they were doing an awful job.
  100.  
  101. > "Did I pay you yesterday?" She asked with the marker stuffed between her teeth
  102. "No, you forgot again."
  103. > "Oh, sorry." She sighed
  104. > I watched as she scribbled "Pay Pinkie" over her left breast next to a poorly drawn cartoon heart
  105. > When she was finished, she stuck the marker in her cleavage and trotted gaily by my side
  106.  
  107.  
  108. > “Pinkie, do you think Twilight likes me?"
  109. > Oh no
  110. > Not this again
  111. > "Because I REALLY like her."
  112. "So you've said"
  113. > "Do you think Twilight and I….Do you….Would we make good…. Special some ponies?"
  114. "Probably not." I replied shortly
  115.  
  116. > She sighed and went quite for a moment, looking distraught
  117. > After about thirty seconds she spoke again in a worried tone
  118. > “Pinkie, do you think it's normal to love your special somepony, but not really…"like" them?”
  119. “Muffins, I don’t even know what that means.”
  120. > “It's like…It's like….Hmmmmm?"
  121. > She began tapping her hoof to her chin looking deep in thought
  122.  
  123. > “Have you ever had a special somepony that you really liked, but the more time you spend with them the more they get on your nerves? But being with them is better than being alone, so you keep up a charade of happiness to avoid feeling lonely. And you wake up feeling exhausted every morning, dreaming that you could just be truly happy again?”
  124. > After her poorly communicated monologue, she shot me a nervous smile and began sweating
  125. > Her teats began expelling milk at a faster rate than usual causing ripples to run down her bra.
  126. > This is my life now.
  127. “Muffins, What the fuck are you talking about?”
  128.  
  129. > She started to turn red and her eye darted in every direction.
  130. > Her other eye drifted around like a die in a magic eight ball
  131. > I sometimes wonder if I shook her head hard enough my fortune would appear in her eye
  132. > This was a joke of course
  133. > Her brain is already scrambled enough.
  134. > I don’t need to add to her brain damage.
  135.  
  136. > She pressed her teeth into her bottom lip and began muttering to herself
  137. > “Maybe I said too much…” She hushed “Why do I keep saying things I regret?”
  138. > She started tapping her hoof to her head in frustration
  139.  
  140. > I'm far too hungover for this…
  141. > We Continued to walk through town
  142. > She muttered to herself behind me the entire time
  143. > As we went on our way I dropped some of my fresh off the press business cards into random mailboxes
  144. > It was an advertisement for a cheap escort service I decided to start around a week ago.
  145. > But sadly, it hasn't yielded any customers regardless of how cheap I sell myself or how much I spam the town with my obnoxious, yet titillating junk mail.
  146. > It’s demeaning, and way less satisfying both sexually and financially than my previous scheme.
  147. > but I was running out of options and Derpy Deliveries isn’t going to get me out of the library with how poorly my pay is
  148. > And I'm NEVER going to get laid in this tacky mailmare uniform.
  149. > I started this escort service out of sexual necessity just as much I did financial
  150.  
  151. > I haven't had sex since the party and my hormones are going crazy!
  152. > Both Unicorns and Pegasi joke about Earth Pony sex practices.
  153. > They think we're just “easy” or “primitive.”
  154. > The truth is, Earth ponies are very sexual creatures who need sexual release at least once a day or they are at risk of "Sex Deprivation Syndrome"
  155. > I can already feel myself in the throes of the nasty condition
  156. > My pussy is burning like an iron and my clit is peeking through my meat curtains like it's performing a cursed, never ending puppet show.
  157.  
  158. > My lips have grown thick and inflamed while sex fluids constantly soak my marehood leaving it slick and humid
  159. > Evolutionarily, this is a tactic the body uses to signal nearby ponies that I'm open and available.
  160. > It's an extremely uncomfortable state that causes me to wiggle my rump in fitful circles and feel the constant urge to grid my sex on almost anything.
  161. > I’ve felt this urge only grow stronger by the day and I'm sometimes finding myself looking at Muffins with lust!
  162. > I hope I never get so desprate that I go down on her
  163. > Earth Ponies, Pegasi don’t agree on hardly anything
  164. > But There's an adage among all ponies wich all agree:
  165. > “Don’t rut crazy ponies.”
  166. > I think this is good advice, but I think that if ponies took that wisdom to heart I would probably NEVER get laid.
  167.  
  168. > I bet with an ass like hers she fucks like a yak
  169. > Rough, hard and fast
  170. > Stupidly strong and unstoppable once she’s in the throes of an orgasm.
  171. > The things I’d do to her….
  172.  
  173.  
  174. > I wish I could keep these thoughts at bay, but I’m hornier than ever and couple with the social isolation, the curse Trixe has casted over me has only further hindered my attempts of getting laid.
  175. > I don't blame anypony for not wanting to bed me anymore
  176. > The six fleshy teats riding down my belly, strung together like sideways udders make even myself flinch whenever I’m forced to look at them
  177. > They’re clammy, pale, make pussies dry up and penises flaccid faster than Cheerilee explaining her life story on a first date.
  178. > They don’t even produce milk! So they’re essentially useless balls of flesh dangling like wet socks below my belly.
  179. > I can feel the milk sloshing inside them as they grow, but I can’t seem to force it out no matter what I try!
  180. > And when you’re up at three in the morning using a rolling pin to try and press milk from your tits, you know you’re desperate.
  181. > But if I could find a way to make them produce I would probably yield more milk than any mare who’s ever lived! And in this market I would be rolling in Bits!
  182.  
  183.  
  184. > As I distributed my cards into random mailboxes, alleyways and washrooms I could tell Muffins was growing annoyed.
  185. > I was taking longer than usually did, and this detour through the poorer parts of town was clearly making her nervous.
  186. > She can glare at me all she likes!
  187. > I'm starved for sex and I needed to make some serious bits if I'm going to keep Marbles strange eating disorder at bay.
  188.  
  189. > As we passed by a group of homeless, Muffins began following uncomfortably close and began bumping into my rump when she wasn’t paying attention.
  190. > After planting her face into my butt and stepping on the backs of my hooves more times than I can tolerate I spun around and placed my hooves over her cheeks and using every fiber of my being to keep calm, I confronted her.
  191.  
  192. "Muffins, please. Why are you following me?"
  193. > "I don't know….You’re nice….” she muttered
  194. > I lowered my hooves and dug them into my mailbag, fumbling through the mess of miscellaneous garbage in search of my pint sized bottle of whiskey
  195. > It’s gonna be one of THOSE days
  196. > I can feel it
  197.  
  198. > “The thing is…I’m having trouble understanding…Like…How do I be happy in a relationship?”
  199. > I paused my search and felt the last of my patience drain like a balloon slowly losing air.
  200. “Is this about Fluttershy?” I sighed
  201.  
  202. > She ruffled her feathers and looked down at the ground
  203. > Oh great.
  204. > Here we go…
  205. > three
  206. > two
  207. > one…
  208. > "Yesterday, Fluttershy blamed me! It's her turn to do the dishes! But she thinks it’s MY turn! I can’t stand how bossy she can be! Y…Y…You know what!? I'm just gonna let them soak until she does them! I've never done the dishes in my life and I never will!" She cried
  209. > I threw my hoof over my eyes and cringed at her lack of basic hygiene.
  210.  
  211. > She goes on about Fluttershy often, and her moaning always makes me sick.
  212. > She could be dating Mr. Perfect himself and would still find something to whine about!
  213. > It's always “Fluttershy did this!” or “Fluttershy said that!”
  214. > Muffins doesn’t seem to understand that a relationship is a two way street
  215. > She thinks she can just carry herself like she always has
  216. > Muffins doesn’t realize that relationships take commitment and change is a necessity for the happiness of both ponies.
  217. > Instead, she continues to Shake off all responsibilities, wallow in self pity and whine like she always has.
  218.  
  219. > I’m not a dating expert, but even my relationship with Dash (as dysfunctional as it was) lasted a couple years before deteriorating like Muffins and Fluttershys has in little over a month.
  220. > Breaking up may have been what was the best for Rainbow and I.
  221. > But I feel like their relationship can still be salvaged with a little “third party intervention”
  222. > Muffins needs to realize that she can't keep living in her safe, childlike delusions
  223. > I’m sick of all the nonsense she spews
  224. > I’m sick of how everypony coddles her ridiculous worldview!
  225. > You know what?
  226. > It’s time for a third party intervention…
  227.  
  228.  
  229. > “I keep trying to tell her to stop worrying about stuff like cleaning! So what if the house is a little messy and smells kinda weird? After a while you get used to it! I didn’t think Fluttershy was such a stick in the mud! What have I gotten myself into!? I feel like I’m gonna….”
  230. “Muffins!" I snapped
  231. > She went silent and started to look a little embarrassed about her outburst.
  232. "You love Fluttershy right?”
  233. > “Y…yeah….I guess….Like….It’s just that…she can be SO bossy!”
  234. > I threw my hoof between the bridge of my snout fighting the urge to say something I know I'll regret….
  235.  
  236. > Fuck it
  237. “Listen Muffins, a mare like you is never going to find a pony better than Fluttershy. I’ve tried being patient but I can’t stand listening to you complain about her EVERYDAY. She may have the proportions of a fucking giraffe, and she may be a little overprotective. But she’s WAY out of your league. If I were you, I would stop whining and just do the fucking dishes.”
  238.  
  239. > “Pinkie…I…Didn’t mean it like that I just…”
  240. > She threw her hoof over her twitching pouted lips
  241. > Her eyes were glossy and growing damp
  242. > She looked like she was about to cry any second
  243. > “Don’t cry…Pegasi don’t cry…” She repeated between whimpers
  244. > For the love of cake….
  245. > Muffins needs a “Fragile: Handle with care” stickers slapped across her cheek because the slightest thing can break her into a thousand pieces and leave her a sopping mess.
  246. > Of course she’ll never let herself cry
  247. > This “Pegasi don’t cry thing” Has stunted her emotionally and damaged how she manages stress
  248. > Again, like everypony she’s close with
  249. > I began to pity her.
  250.  
  251. > I put my hoof around her neck
  252. “Look Muffins, I’m sorry. But can you go one day without complaining about your life? I’m essentially homeless, trying to make enough money to move out of my friends library all while taking care of my sister. And on top of that, I'm on the brink of a heat driven psychosis. You moaning about doing chores just isn't appropriate right now.”
  253.  
  254. > “Oh…I see…I understand P…Pinkie…I’m sorry…”
  255. > She hung her head and stared at the ground
  256. > Great, I made the weird pony depressed
  257. > Now I feel bad
  258. > Muffins isn’t a bad pony, she’s just very misguided and confused
  259. > I don't know what Fluttershy sees in her, but that's not for me to understand.
  260. > Love is a strange magic
  261.  
  262. > “Maybe…I just need a change in routine…? I….I don’t know…love isn’t what I thought it would be….”
  263. “What did you expect?”
  264. > “I don’t know…Like magic…. ? In my books all the characters seem so happy when they fall in love…But honestly…I think it has something to do with our sex life…It’s just not exciting.”
  265. > Spoken like a true Earth Pony….
  266. > NOW she was speaking my language.
  267.  
  268. “Well, I’ve been taking dick and licking pussy on a regular basis since high school and only truly loved one mare in my entire lifetime. But lack of connection never stopped me from having fun. I don't know what this magical feeling you're looking for is, but I'm confident that's it's probably all in your head."
  269.  
  270. > “You're probably right….I hate my stupid brain."
  271. "Okay, quit being hard on yourself."
  272. > She wiped her nose and sniffled
  273. > "Could you maybe show us how to get better at sex?”
  274. > I can’t believe what I’m hearing right now…
  275.  
  276. "You want me to teach you how to have sex?"
  277. > I'm at a loss for words
  278. > To this day I still have trouble wrapping my head around the fact that she even has sex
  279. > Even hearing her say the word feels weird
  280. > She’s not the type I imagined would even want to have sex
  281. > I see her as more of a snuggly, tea party with stuffed animals, hugs and kisses kinda mare.
  282.  
  283. > I can’t even imagine her orgasming
  284. > Not that I ever wanted to, but in my head I've always wondered if her eyes would somehow "reset" at the peak of an orgasm.
  285. > Recently, due to my heat and closeness with her I’ve been thinking about fucking her
  286. > But that's me.
  287. > I like to imagine Muffins doesn’t think of such things.
  288.  
  289. > I guess it’s not below me to take some bits off Muffins to help her get better at licking pussy.
  290. > If I hadn’t hit rock bottom yet, I surely have now.
  291. “Yeah, I can teach you how to fuck. But it’ll cost ya.”
  292.  
  293. > She nodded and her boobs jiggled a bit
  294. > “I have bits…I just…The thing is…Whenever Fluttershy and I fu-….I mean..M..Make love…She licks my…Ummm…You know.”
  295. “Cunt?”
  296. > She jerked back in shock and turned red
  297. > Her nipples shot milk like a firehouse for a second then returned to dribbling pace
  298. > “Y..Yeah…My marehood…It used to feel SO good…but now whenever I look between my legs and she’s licking me I see her and I freeze up. I'm suddenly overwhelmed with weird feelings. I see a pony who was once there slowly turning into another pony and it scares me."
  299. > I closed my eyes and nodded respectfully
  300. “I know what you mean.”
  301. > I have no idea what she means
  302.  
  303. > “Pinkie, you’re good at sex. You’ve probably had more sex than anypony!”
  304. “Thanks?”
  305. > “Don’t mention it.” She sniffled
  306. “Soooo, what do you want? A sex ed lesson?”
  307. > Her ears shot up and she nodded
  308. > “Honestly Pinkie, I think that would be a good start because I don't even know how it's supposed to work between us. Neither of us have a desire to dominate the other despite being Pegasi. And even being intimate for an entire month, neither of us know what to do. Like this morning, Fluttetshy was trying to talk dirty but I know once we get into bed we're just going to fumble around awkwardly. Even though we've made love a number of times something is missing….Like we're doing something wrong."
  309.  
  310. > I may not be a relationship counselor, but it sounds like the two of them are struggling with some major communication issues.
  311. > Watching my two most awkward friends grinding their pussies together was never on my bucket list, but for the right price I think I can stomach it.
  312.  
  313. "Okay Muffins, I can help you out. But I want a raise of…Let's say, fifty bits?"
  314. > "Okay." She nodded “I can maybe do that.”
  315. > Wow
  316. > It sounds like they might need a financial counselor too.
  317. > She just agreed to my first offer without even negotiating!
  318. > I really need the Bits, but I can't rip her off like that.
  319. > Money is probably tight between the both of them seeing as Fluttershy is unemployed and all Muffins has for income is this silly mail service.
  320.  
  321. "Muffins…Look…I'll do it for half the price of that offer.”
  322. > “How much is tha-?”
  323. “Just don't tell anypony about this.”
  324. > "I'm so happy to have a friend like you."
  325. > She hugged me and I felt her milk stained bra cling to my chest
  326. > Beneath my chin the ink from her marker was beginning to run down her breasts in a thick watery ooze
  327. > Her entire to do list had washed away
  328. >...
  329. > I don’t think I’m ever going to get paid.
  330.  
  331. > "Do you think Twilight would like to come too?"
  332. > Again, I was left speechless
  333. "Muffins, I really gotta ask. What's your infatuation with Twilight? Like, why in the world do you think she would be even SLIGHTLY interested in taking part in any of this?"
  334. > She gasped
  335. > "She's the prettiest pony in Equestria! She's smart, kind and motherly."
  336. > "Motherly? Kind? Are we talking about the same Twilight?"
  337. “I think the best thing Twilight could do for your particular problem is lend you some books on sex positions. Other than that, Twilight probably won’t be much help.”
  338. > She nodded, but I could tell she wasn’t really listening
  339. > Whenever Twilight was injected into the conversation I could see it in her eyes.
  340. >Behind that innocent little smile she was fantasizing.
  341. > Poor Twilight….
  342.  
  343. > She wandered down the street waving goodbye leaving a trail of milk as she departed
  344. > It was at that moment that I decided that it was finally time to fulfill my obligation to her and deliver the Cakes their mail.
  345. > It was a quick hop back into downtown Ponyville
  346. > Sugarcube Corner rested just a couple blocks north of city hall which was the centerpiece of town.
  347. > As I approached the bakery I could still smell the reminisce of the Liquid Love disaster.
  348.  
  349. > The entire area was haunted by this lingering odor
  350. > Being around the stuff only worsened my hornyness and filled me with regret
  351. > Remembering that night made me feel ill
  352. > All I recall from the party is being pulled out of the building by Spike.
  353. > We were all taken to the hospital in some kind of state
  354.  
  355. > I was covered mane to hoof in icing, cum and glitter
  356. > If there was ever I night I could erase from my life it would be the hours between falling through the floor and waking up in the hospital
  357. > Earth ponies are famous for having exceptional immune systems but even I caught a couple bugs in that orgy.
  358.  
  359. > I approached their mailbox as quietly as possible
  360. > The last thing I wanted was to grab the attention of the Cakes after dealing with Muffins for the entire morning.
  361. > All they ever do now is fuck and fight
  362. > Often at the same time.
  363.  
  364. > They’re held hostage by the aroma of the lingering love potions powerful pheromones
  365. > Neither of them want to stay together anymore but are unable to think clearly long enough before getting into a screaming match or falling to the floor in lust
  366. > The Cake twins were taken away by the state and nopony knows where they were shipped off to.
  367. > I feel guilty whenever I come here now and often leave an anonymous letter in the mail with a couple Bits
  368.  
  369. > I’ll never be able to atone for my past, but I hope this daily act can help sooth my past transgressions.
  370. > I only wish I could give them more
  371. > If I ever find myself with Bits jingling in my saddlebag like they used to, I hope to dispense them here and spread the wealth to all the ponies I’ve hurt
  372. > I may not be in prison, but I feel obligated to pay for all the damage I caused the ponies I love.
  373. > It seems that it’s always the ponies who were foolish to love me back, end up getting hurt the most.
  374.  
  375.  
  376.  
  377. Fluttershy:
  378.  
  379. > I rested my hooves along the counter and watched the bar ponies mingle
  380. > They hollered and struck their milk foamed mugs in a celebratory fashion without purpose
  381. > They wore toothy grins, swaying back and forth and teetering like spinning tops on their final rotations before giving in to gravity.
  382. > Fortunately, as much as their chairs wobbled, they never tumbled no matter how much they sang, cackled and cried
  383.  
  384. > I never imagined I’d see the nobility of Canterlot behaving like doozy fillies on a sugar rush.
  385. > Playing the part of adults in dress but not in maturity or decency.
  386. > In some ways it made me feel better about myself, but mostly it just made me nervous
  387. > These were the ponies controlling the economy
  388. > And they were nothing but a bunch of perverts, addicts and fools.
  389.  
  390. > At each table sat a thirty two ounce pitcher of milk
  391. > And every pitcher cost one hundred and twenty bits.
  392. > For the past month I've been watching these young, affluent ponies throw their money around the bar like it was a game.
  393. > Stuffing a pouch of Bits into the stocking of every service mare and waitress who passed
  394.  
  395. > Buying endless rounds of milk
  396. > Paying the service mares incredibly generous amounts of money for the most mundane errands.
  397. > It’s almost sickening how much disposable income these trust fund ponies have.
  398.  
  399. > The loud ones carry themselves like rabid animals.
  400. > Rowdy, obnoxious and rude
  401. > They’ll throw pitchers, smash glass and brawl atop the tables to a cheering crowd of equally intoxicated ponies
  402.  
  403. > The quiet ones had me concerned for other reasons
  404. > They stumbled about the place like aimless zombies in milk drunken stupors
  405. > Or they sat alone rolling in their chairs staring blankly into space.
  406. > It hasn’t happened yet, but I’m waiting for one of them to finally snap and do something violent in their blackout state.
  407. > I’m trapped in a room of bullies and ghouls
  408. > This was the exact reason I couldn’t stand Flight School
  409. > Now it's like I’m back there all over again, but this time the danger and absurdity has been turned up tenfold!
  410.  
  411. > Something strange is in Muffins milk.
  412. > Anything that makes ponies act this way isn’t normal or right and I fear we're doing more harm than good by selling it.
  413. > Muffins milk, coupled with the recent demand of mare milk in general amongst the new, upper crust Ponyvillians has changed the entire Ponyville milk business
  414.  
  415. > The Milk Bar has benefitted the most from the milk boom and the service area has expanded to accommodate for the rising demand in ponies looking for a safe, social place to consume milk
  416.  
  417. > The seating area is the size of the average ballroom and while it was still only morning, the room was lined wall to wall with ponies who looked like they had been partying all night.
  418. > The soundtrack to this debauchery was three ponies near the entrance plucking on bass strings, massaging piano keys and tapping skins
  419. > They call it “jazz”
  420. > An import from Canterlot that all the boozers and milk chuggers seem to love
  421. > Cigarette smoke clouded the ceiling and the offensive stench of milk, sweat and sex was in the air.
  422.  
  423. > Honestly, I’ve always liked Muffins milk
  424. > It packed a nice punch in my tea and tastes amazing
  425. > But I never drank it in the copious amounts these ponies do
  426. > Somehow, her milk has become powerful enough to turn even the most buttoned up mare into a wiry, jittering basketcase
  427. > Even I refrain from drinking it nowadays because it makes my heart thump like a rabbit's paw and my senses uncomfortably high.
  428. > But it seems that everypony else can't get enough.
  429.  
  430. > The best thing to come out of this milk craze personally was secure employment.
  431. > But even so, I’m beginning to loathe that as well as everything else Muffins milk has raptured.
  432. > The Milk Bar used to be a calm place with a small, like minded base of ponies who I would consider more friends than customers
  433.  
  434. > Milky used to only open the Milk Bar whenever she was in town because she spent most of the year on the road selling milk across Equestria.
  435. > She had a philosophy.
  436. > She had a purpose.
  437. > Her spirit was always pulling her somewhere new and exciting
  438. > It’s something I always admired about her
  439. > I wish I could be more like that.
  440.  
  441. > But ever since the Milk Bar became the most popular establishment in the entire market, she’s made managing it a full time job.
  442. > Being the most successful bar in the market has led to her partnering with all kinds of ponies.
  443. > Flim and Flam sell illegal Cider in a smaller room adjacent to us, a couple griffons run an illegal casino down the hall, Lotus and Aloe…
  444. > Well, they’re the worst….
  445.  
  446. > They were our competitors for a short time, but Milky decided to broker a deal with them and allowed them permission to operate their business within the walls of the milk bar.
  447. > These two have been nothing but trouble since they moved to Ponyville.
  448. > They're immigrants from across the Celestial Sea from a kingdom of castles far to the east of Griffonstone.
  449. > A backwards realm called simply known as “Prance”
  450. > Known for their art, food, sexual openness and hybrid of inbred Unicorn and Earth Pony culture.
  451. > It’s a repulsive place.
  452.  
  453. > Apparently, Prance was founded by a bunch of degenerate criminal ponies who fled east to escape persecution, and Celestia's degeneracy laws.
  454. > For a thousand years the ponies of Prance have lived in a kingdom with no moral code or laws.
  455. > A country built by Earth ponies and controlled by Unicorns with a strict “No Pegasi” Rule
  456. > These demographic circumstances have led Prance into evolving a very strange culture
  457. > For example, the earth ponies of Prance are equally as promiscuous as the ones in Equestria proper, but their deep ties with the unicorns, coupled with what they call “laissez faire” sex regulations have made them complete degenerates.
  458.  
  459. > Little is known about Prance in these parts.
  460. > But if all the mares in Prance are like Aloe and Lotus, I hope they all stay there.
  461. > Since they arrived in Ponyville, Aloe and Lotus have been running the biggest prostitution ring in town and have done so for a long time.
  462. > They have somehow managed to climb the political ladder to the highest elected officials of the town.
  463.  
  464. > Despite their accents, they are very good at speaking.
  465. > I imagine that with their slippery, forked tongue, negotiating with Milky was probably as easy as (Pinkie) Pie.
  466. > The arrangement is simple
  467. > Their "Service mares" will serve the customers alongside the regular waitstaff
  468. > These “Service mares” will offer “Services” in exchange for Bits.
  469. > I deeply dislike Lotus and Aloe and we haven't had a positive interaction since the day they started working with us.
  470.  
  471. > They've slowly been converting all the waitstaff into service mares and have unfortunately been successful in recruiting almost every mare they target.
  472. > I'm the only waitress left in the entire bar who doesn't sell herself, and they've steadily been picking away at my dignity because of it.
  473. > All their new rules pertaining to waitstaff have inched me closer into a lifestyle I don't think highly of.
  474. > My position as a dignified waitress and milk mare is one new rule away from becoming a full on prostitution job.
  475. > They’ve made it mandatory for all waitresses to get physical with the customers
  476. > And stripping has become a requirement.
  477. > I like to be a tease, but flashing my marebit to strangers for Bits is a little much…
  478. > It’s unfortunate that so many mares in town have turned to prostitution.
  479. > After everypony found out what Pinkie was doing behind closed doors many mares simply left their significant others and started a new life.
  480. > Many came to Milky, Aloe and Lotus looking to make Bits after seeing how much money Pinkie was making.
  481. > Some just want the opportunity to explore themselves
  482. > Others are here because all their finances were tied to their stallion and are basically destitute.
  483.  
  484. > It's all well and good for those mares, but I've become trapped.
  485. > My contract is now split between Milky and the depraved spa ponies
  486. > I now have three bosses to answer to and each are constantly demanding I stretch myself thinner everyday or I risk getting fired
  487. > I have a feeling that I know too much for them to simply let me go.
  488. > Same goes for Muffins
  489. > Whether she knows it or not, what little I’ve told her about the milk business is probably still too much for the spa ponies comfort and she’ll be on the chopping block right after me if any of this breaks or I get fired.
  490.  
  491. > Across the room, I watched the service mares earn their keep
  492. > They all wore clothes that left little to the imagination and had their rates written on either their face, belly, or cutie mark.
  493.  
  494. > Berry Punch is a mare who has her rates written on her left butt cheek
  495. > She was sitting on a stallions lap a couple tables down from the bar grinding her rump over a jubilant stallions crotch in large circles
  496. > She’s been working for Aloe and Lotus for a long time now.
  497. > Her constant slipping in and out of sobriety has guaranteed Lotus and Aloe a consistent employee
  498.  
  499. > I could tell she had fallen off the wagon again
  500. > Her tongue was drooping over her bottom lip as she grinned vacantly
  501. > Her pupils, the size of eight balls under sleepless eyelids.
  502. > Poor mare.
  503.  
  504. > I watched her and the other service mares do this everyday
  505. > They all had different strategies
  506. > Grinding, kissing and touching genitals over clothing were all brazen attempts to get ponies behind the red curtain
  507. > Most were more subtle though
  508. > Adorning sultry tones and ordering strong drinks for potential customers seemed to work just as well.
  509.  
  510.  
  511. > I turned away from Berry and looked to my left.
  512.  
  513. > Near the corner of the counter a few paces away Amethyst was rubbing her hoof through another mares chest fur, inching her face into the nervous mares personal space and adorning a calm, inviting posture
  514. > I lifted my ear and listened in
  515. > “You’re really cute.” Amethyst giggled “What are you doing here all alone? Don't you have friends?"
  516. > The mare was a pale, awkward looking pony with a red mane styled similar to Twilights
  517.  
  518. > “I needed to get out…And no, I don’t have friends. I don't need friends. But I needed to get out. You see, it’s my Unicorn time of the month, but I have no pony to copulate with up in Canterlot. I heard about this place and well…Now I'm here.”
  519. > “We all need friends. I can be your friend if you like” Amethyst replied twirling her mane around her hoof
  520.  
  521. > The mare looked frightened, yet curious
  522. > “You can?”
  523. > Amethyst nodded and pointed to her cheek
  524. > The mares eyes opened wide and her jaw nearly dropped to the floor
  525. > “You’ll do all that for twenty bits!?” The mare asked
  526. > Amethyst nodded “Oh yeah, I’ll be all yours.”
  527. > The mare's eyes darted around the room and she looked uneasy
  528. > But like always, it didn’t take long for the two to begin snuggling over a shared barstool.
  529.  
  530. > I watched out of morbid curiosity
  531. > I didn’t like what I was seeing, but I couldn’t turn away
  532. > I feel like as the Milk Bar marches deeper into this dark chapter somepony with a sober mind needs to remember everything that happens here, lest history ever repeat itself.
  533. > Amethyst took control of the sheepish mare, placing her hooves over her shoulders and dragging her in for a kiss.
  534. > They swapped spit for a couple minutes before disappearing behind the heavily guarded red curtain skipping and holding hooves the entire time.
  535. > I just sighed
  536.  
  537. > Amethyst was always such a good mare….
  538. > She had a stallion friend, a job, a filly and a nice home
  539. > Now she's selling herself for milk money.
  540.  
  541. > I can’t help but feel responsible for all of this
  542. > Milk used to be a niche fetish
  543. > It was underground and taboo
  544. > Nopony, not even the ponies of Ponyville with their giant breasts drank milk for sexual pleasure, enjoyment or curiosity
  545. > It’s simply not something ponies did.
  546.  
  547. > Muffins milk has changed that
  548. > Everything I love is doomed because I let her milk spill out into an unprepared world
  549. > What has been done cannot be undone
  550. > Something I'm reminded of everyday.
  551. > Story of my life for the past month….
  552. > Even when I try to fix things it's pointless.
  553.  
  554.  
  555. > Milky and the spa ponies have weekly meetings
  556. > I'm the only employee allowed to sit in on these meetings because I'm Milkys most trusted associate.
  557. > But whenever I offer input it's clear that nopony in the room really cares about what I have to say.
  558. > I tell them how I feel about recruiting mares from town and how getting them addicted to Muffins milk before hiring them as service mares is unethical.
  559. > I tell them how the milk is changing the ponies who drink it for the worst and how we should set drink limits.
  560.  
  561. > But they don't care.
  562. > Ever since the Spa ponies wormed into Milkys ear all she wants to do is grow the business
  563. > I know the spa mares want to get rid of me.
  564. > I don't keep it a secret how I feel about them, or how poorly I think they've been running the business.
  565.  
  566. > Because of our friction, Lotus and Aloe have been giving me all sorts of work beyond my pay grade
  567. > These jobs put my flank on the line and I think they're just hoping I get arrested.
  568. > For instance, A couple weeks ago they strapped milk bottles around my barrel and sent me on a delivery across town.
  569. > Last week she had me sneak into Filthy Riches house in the middle of the night to look for “plans”
  570.  
  571. > The Spa ponies are very concerned about what Filthy Rich is doing, as is everypony else.
  572. > It's become obvious to everypony in the Old Ponyville market that FREE (Filthy Rich, Equestria Enterprises) is running a black market subsidiary company selling sex toys, pornography, drugs and Mare Milk.
  573.  
  574. > Though, we don't know the details and speaking publicly about "hearsay" could lead to lots of legal consequences.
  575. > What's interesting about Mr. Rich is that he doesn’t operate in the Old Ponyville Market like all the other businesses, and he is very particular about who he hires and does business with.
  576. > Mr. Rich has a very small operation at the moment, but the spa mares are worried about what he’ll do when he decides to expand.
  577. > At this point, I could care less about what happens to the Milk Bar.
  578. > The fun's over
  579. > I’m here out of obligation for my life and nothing more.
  580.  
  581. > Their is only one issue to Lotus and Aloe more pressing than Mr. Rich
  582. > Recently, the Spa ponies have grown worried about Mayor Mares allegiance
  583. > They fear she may begin breaching agreements now that Celestia has ordered all towns in Equestria to begin cracking down on degeneracy laws like “the good old days”
  584.  
  585. > Through all this talk, Milkys power trip/paranoia has worsened and she’s become a background character in her own business.
  586. > She believes that she can buy her way out of any problem and is becoming increasingly distracted, greedy and mean.
  587. > She doesn't talk about her passion for milk, her adventurous spirit tugging on her physical body or the art of mixing mare milk into food anymore.
  588. > instead, she spends most of her days alone in office drinking Muffins milk until her eyes roll into the back of her head and she’s foaming thick white bubbles from the mouth.
  589. > Muffins milk has proven to be not only dangerously potent, but highly addictive…
  590.  
  591. > Muffins and I aren't married yet, but we have already taken our vows and I intend to take them very seriously.
  592. > Muffins was doing a crossword when we did them, but she assured me she was taking it with, and I quote:
  593. > “Utmost seriousness do you know a six letter word for tree bearing fruit?”
  594.  
  595. > Because of our vows, I've stopped sleeping with Milky, but I think Milky is upset about my decision .
  596. > I told her that I would remain monogamous once we got together, but she just doesn't listen!
  597. > Her and Muffins are very similar in that way.
  598. > I knew that living with Muffins would be hard, but everything we do has to be an argument!
  599. > I love Muffins with all my heart but she’s so difficult to talk to sometimes.
  600. > And I can't stand the names she calls me!
  601. > Flutterboss
  602. > Mommyshy
  603. > FlUtter Annoyance
  604.  
  605. > I just want to help! But she can make it so difficult sometimes
  606. > And don’t even get me started on the mess!
  607. > I’ve lived with racoons less messy than her!
  608. > I haven't done laundry, bathed, slept comfortably or exercised in a month
  609. > I feel like I’m in the worst shape of my life and I’m at the point where I’m beginning to think my health is affecting my milk.
  610. > My milk used to be the most coveted in the market
  611. > But now I’m just a “sexy waitress” who doesn't put out and occasionally gets milk requests from the lower class customers because her milk taste “Stale”
  612. > Again, I blame myself…
  613.  
  614. > I haven't been in the best of spirits recently
  615. > When she's sober enough to begin taking control again, Milky has been controlling my diet and giving me all kinds of medicines that make me feel nauseous and fog my brain.
  616. > Meanwhile, I’m still having trouble adjusting to Muffins lifestyle
  617. > I think we may be in our first relationship rut but I’m not worried
  618. > True love always wins in the end!
  619. > I just can’t wait to get home and give her a night she’ll never forget!
  620. > I can’t wait to see her face when she sees how far I’m willing to go to please her!
  621.  
  622.  
  623.  
  624. > From the right side of the bar Rainy Days came strutting around the counter with a dopey smile
  625. > She had sacks of Bits dangling from her fishnets stockings below her shockingly low rates scribbled across her cutie mark
  626. > She opened the register, threw some bits inside and walked to the far side of the bar
  627. > She connected a long tube attached to the milking device
  628. > She placed the tube over her teat, flicked the on switch and the machine began to hum
  629.  
  630. > Her milk started traveling up the tube and began to pour into a pitcher, which rested under a hose shaped nozzle connected to the machine.
  631. > “Hey Fluttershy, how's it going?” she asked
  632. > I sighed and stared down at my hooves
  633. "I want to go home. All I’m looking forward to today is spending some pillow time with my best friend, but the day just keeps dragging."
  634.  
  635. > She began to laugh
  636. > “How's that wacky delivery service of hers going?”
  637. "I don't know. She never tells me anything anymore. I assume it's going okay I guess."
  638. > “Is AP still working there?”
  639. "AP? Oh! Yeah Appointed Rounds is still with us. I believe she's on the night shift now."
  640.  
  641. > She began laughing again, this time her laughter was so uncontrollable she was wiping tears from her eyes
  642. > "Poor Appointed Rounds! With her experience she could run her own post office!"
  643. "Yeah…"
  644. > I continued staring down at my hooves.
  645. > Some days I’m too exhausted to look anypony in the in the eye
  646. > Some days I wish I was a ghost
  647. > I definitely feel like a ghost
  648. > But instead of haunting ponies with chains and howling, I make them feel uncomfortable with my vacant spaced out staring and unnerving silence
  649. > I don’t get invited to many parties…
  650.  
  651. > "You seem sad? What's up?"
  652. > With all my courage I looked her dead in the eye
  653.  
  654. "If you really want to know, Muffins hasn't been the same recently. I know she's still upset about her house, it’s no secret that she cared about it deeply. But I thought I could help her get through the grief. She just seems so sad and distant now, and I don't know if it's me or if it's her. I'm not feeling like myself anymore either. All I want to do is talk with her like we used to but I don't know if we can anymore. Tonight I'm planning to give her the best night of her life then maybe she'll finally be happy again. Sometimes it feels like my path of good intentions has been trampled by all my mistakes and no matter how hard I try I'll never be an altruist, because I'm a greedy mare who wants things she probably doesn't deserve. Like the animal sanctuary I've always dreamed of, or the confidence to refuse those who I know deep down want to hurt me, or a mare-friend who can stand me longer than a month without getting tired of emotionally supporting me. I’m trying to be accommodating with her because this is a big change for both of us. But I'm too scared to put my hoof down and too dependent to let her go. I wish she could see how much I care for her.”
  655.  
  656. > I turned back to Rainy Days who was scratching her head looking puzzled
  657. > "Who's Muffins?"
  658. > My eyes fell back to my hooves
  659. "Nopony….It doesn't matter." I sighed, feeling more defeated than ever.
  660.  
  661. > She walked towards me, straining the tube with each step.
  662. > She nudged my shoulder and shot me a mischievous smile
  663. > “Well, if you're looking for something to relax your anxious mind, there's a customer at table sixteen. They've been asking for you."
  664.  
  665. > I rolled my eyes
  666. "Coco?"
  667. > She shrugged "I don't know her name. She’s just been asking for you."
  668. "I don't know if I can handle her right now."
  669. > "Well, I suggest you go over there and see what she wants. Aloe and Lotus are watching." She whispered
  670. > She returned to the machine, switched it off and pulled the tube from her teat.
  671. > She collected the pitcher of her milk and trotted merrily into the crowd.
  672.  
  673. > I sighed and stared deeply at my reflection in one of the shiny milk barrels
  674. > I guess I should earn my keep, even though I'm not in the mood.
  675. > I adjusted my plastic cow horns, pulled up my cow print socks, grabbed a menu and made my way the far corner of the room
  676. > After pushing through the crowd I saw Coco sitting alone at a table fidgeting with her hooves with her back against the wall
  677. > Just as I predicted
  678.  
  679. > Coco is a weird mare
  680. > And I don't say that lightly
  681. > She’s a fashion designers apprentice in Manehattan and a familiar face in the fetish scene
  682. > Just about everything gets her off and she attends every type of fetish meetup from Manhattan to Las Pegasus
  683. > Despite having more fetishes than a Pinkie has sexual partners, she's not a floozy, in fact, she's actually very reserved.
  684. > But she's also the type who spends more than she makes and most of her Bits are from her parents doling her Bits every month
  685.  
  686. > I dropped a menu on the table
  687. “Hey Coco, what are you doing in Ponyville?”
  688. > “Can you sit down for a moment? I’d like to talk.” She asked scanning the room while rubbing her hooves together anxiously
  689. > Coco always spoke like she was out of breath and constantly fidgeted with her hooves
  690. > She carries a constant nervous energy no matter where she is or what she’s doing
  691. > But to be fair, I would be anxious too if I was spending every waking moment of my life trying to keep a hundred different fetishes a secret.
  692. > I pulled up a chair and sat across from her.
  693.  
  694. “I haven’t seen you in a while. How are things in Manehatten?”
  695. > “Complicated.” She replied looking around the room nervously
  696. > “Fluttershy, I need a place to stay, I’m running out of Bits and Manehatten has become way too expensive.”
  697. “Too expensive? Coco, you buy fabrics that are more expensive than my house!”
  698. > “I’m sorry Fluttershy, I truly am, but you’re my only hope, please just let me stay with you for a couple weeks.”
  699. > A couple weeks!?
  700. > Something fishy is going on here.
  701. > Coco must have thousands of friends in Manehatten willing to share an apartment
  702. > Why would she travel across the country to ask ME for a place to stay away from her work, family and friends? What's with the desperation?
  703. > It doesn’t make sense.
  704.  
  705. “Coco, It’s not that I would mind having you stay with me. But I’m having some troubles of my own right now and I don’t think you’re giving me the full story.”
  706. > She exhaled and looked down and away
  707. > “Well, if you must know. A certain fetish of mine has become public knowledge and ponies have been talking.”
  708. “Coco, you’re going to have to be more specific. You have more fetishes than anypony I’ve ever met.”
  709.  
  710. > “I really don’t want to say…”
  711. “Is it the butt stuff?”
  712. > “Goodness, no!”
  713. “The thing with the balloons?”
  714. > “No….”
  715. “You’re still not letting ponies pee on are you, right?”
  716. > “No!…Well, yes….But that's not what got me in trouble”
  717. > As I listed off some fetishes she became increasingly more embarrassed
  718. > Eventually, I ran out of fetishes and decided to give up
  719. “Well gee Coco, what could ponies know about you that's worse than anything I’ve already mentioned?”
  720.  
  721. > She looked around around the room and leaned in close
  722. > She cupped her mouth with her hooves and whispered
  723. > “You know…The one about me…And the fillies..”
  724. > I started at her blankly
  725. > “I told you about this! don’t you remember? I wanted to buy a filly from a black market and use her as my….”
  726. “Stop.”
  727. > “It’s just a minor fantasy of mine!”
  728. “Yeah…” I said, rolling my eyes, “I don’t want to hear it.”
  729. > “Some of my personal drawings got out and now everypony in the fetish community and even ponies at my work know about it. When my parents found out they stopped sending me money. I really need a place to stay while this blows over.”
  730. “Coco, I’d love to, but now really isn’t a good time. Me and my special somepony are having a rough time now and I don’t think I can handle the stress of another pony under my roof.”
  731. > “You can’t just leave me like this! We’re milk buddies”
  732.  
  733. “Coco, it sounds to me like you wanna diddle fillies.”
  734. > “I don’t! It’s just a fantasy! Just like your fantasy of owning an animal sanctuary! I’m never gonna do it!”
  735. > I can’t believe this
  736. > Just when I thought my life couldn’t get any worse Coco comes into my life like a hurricane to complicate things further
  737. > I don’t want to help her, but at the same time I can’t just leave her homeless.
  738. > I mean, We all have fantasies…I guess?
  739.  
  740. > I reached into my saddlebag and passed her fifty Bits.
  741. > “Okay, here’s some money. I suggest you go find a hotel in Ponyville and keep your head down. If you need any more Bits, come see me at the cottage.”
  742. > She hugged me tightly
  743. > “I always knew you were a great friend.”
  744. > “Thanks.” I replied patting her backside
  745.  
  746. > she peeled herself off of me and she shot me a smile
  747. > The good news had changed her demeanor completely
  748. > Though, she was still speaking in her usual anxious, breathy voice
  749. > “By the way, who’s this new flame you’re dating? I’d love to meet her.”
  750. “Actually, you know that pony I’ve always talked about? Muffins? Well she and I are living together now.”
  751. > “That's amazing news! You MUST invite me over sometime and we can have some tea.”
  752. > Having tea with Coco was the last thing I wanted to do
  753. “Sounds like a plan!” I nodded
  754.  
  755. > “Great!”
  756. > I stood up about to leave but she grabbed my hoof
  757. > I sat back down and she began massaging my hoof
  758. > “Just one more thing. Can I grab some milk? You Ponyville mares have the best milk and yours is second to none!”
  759. > For some reason I wasn’t offended by this request
  760. > It was good to hear from a pony not under the glamor of Muffins highly potent, sugar milk
  761. > Coco sounded like she was completely broke so I wasn’t expecting any payment
  762. > I’m going to do this out the kindness of my heart
  763. > I untucked my left breast from my bra and she slowly crept under the table
  764.  
  765. > Her head popped between my legs
  766. > The red and white checkerboard tablecloth rested over her head like a hood
  767. > She smiled at me, and I smiled back.
  768. > “You know, if I had boobs like you Ponyville mares I’d be a milk mare too.”
  769. > I laughed and inched her head into my nipple
  770. “Drink up Coco.” I chuckled, “This milk will refresh you after your long travel.”
  771. > She cupped her lips around my teat and began to suck
  772. > She sucked in a slow rhythm, pull my teat towards her before letting go
  773. > My teat snap back and jiggle
  774.  
  775. > She swallowed a mouthful of milk
  776. > “You know, I’ve always had a fetish for being a milkmare…I just don’t have the factories.”
  777. > She put my teat back in her mouth and began to suck
  778. “You have a fetish for everything!” I giggled “You should to stick to fashion. You’re honestly really good at it.”
  779. > Coco rolled her eyes
  780. > “Now you’re just being nice.” She said with my teat still in her mouth
  781. “I’m serious! You’re an amazing designer, you just need to make things less…Provocative.”
  782. > She pulled her mouth off my nipple and began to laugh
  783. > “I’m telling you Fluttershy, I’m just ahead of the times! Even the ponies in Manehatten think I’m a little much, but they’ll come around. I think my new line of clothing would definitely be more accepted here though. I’m not the best in practice but my ideas are good.”
  784.  
  785. > Coco definitely has some wires crossed in her noggin
  786. > But her passion for art rivals even Rarity’s
  787. > The only problem with her designs are that they aren’t anything a pony would ever want to wear in public
  788. > They're way too revealing….
  789. > What's the point of buying clothes you wouldn’t want to be caught dead in?
  790. > Coco sealed her lips around my nipple and began stimulation my teat with slow circular tongue movements
  791.  
  792. > Whenever she swallowed her grip tighten around my nipple
  793. > I could feel the milk sloshing in her mouth, and hear her throat bulging
  794. > She filled her mouth with copious amounts of milk until her cheeks swelled
  795. > Each before strained gulp elicited a loud swallowing noises
  796. > Between swigs she would moan,
  797. > Despite how full her mouth was she stared up at me with her bright blue eyes
  798. > Her mouth was sealed to my breast
  799. > She nodded her head back and forth slowly
  800.  
  801. > I leaned back into my chair and closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation
  802. > “This doesn’t mean anything.” I purred “This is my job…This isn’t sex.”
  803. > I felt her nodded her head in agreement
  804.  
  805. > After a couple minutes, she withdrew her lips from my teat and my milk began to drain onto the floor.
  806. > She took one last large gulp and exhaled blissfully
  807. > “You know what Fluttershy? As long as you keep letting me suck on these glorious udders I’ll be a happy mare till the end of my days.”
  808. > I’ve always liked Coco for that
  809. > We both share a genuine passion for milk.
  810. > Unlike these other ponies who only like Muffins milk because it gets them loaded
  811. > In many ways we are the same, Coco is just far more extreme in what she’s willing to try and enjoy.
  812. > I wish I had the opportunity to visit her more, but travel always takes its toll in one way or another.
  813. > She may be a bit eccentric, but she’s a good friend.
  814.  
  815.  
  816. > Appointed Rounds approached and leaned into my ear
  817. > “Lotus and Aloe want to speak with you.”
  818. > My heart skipped a beat
  819. > “Is everything okay?” Coco asked, her anxious tone beginning to take hold once again
  820. “Yes, everything is fine. Just go to the hotel, we’ll talk later.”
  821. > She nodded and quietly scuttled out of the bar, hugging the wall towards the exit
  822.  
  823. > I pressed down the center of the room through the sea of milk drunk ponies
  824. > As I approached the rear of the bar, ponies became infrequent and the room became quieter
  825. > Sat in the corner of the room in a booth atop a small flight of stairs Aloe and Lotus scanned the bar with intense scrutiny.
  826.  
  827. > From their private booth they can see all
  828. > “We’ve been watching you Fluttershy.” Lotus said in a foreboding tone
  829. > I sighed
  830. > I dragged myself up the stairs and shimmied into the booth
  831. > “You gave that strange pony money. Tell us, what was that about?” Lotus asked resting her head over her hooves while staring intensely
  832. “She’s just an old friend who needed some Bits, she’s harmless.”
  833. > They glanced at each, other looking unamused
  834.  
  835. > “That's what they say about you. But look at all the trouble you cause.” Aloe shot
  836. “Well…I…I don’t know what you want from me, I think I’m doing a good job but you two have made everything so confusing. I just want to do my job and…”
  837. > “Look, forget the mare. Are you and Derpy still fucking?”
  838. “Wha-!....what makes you think you can ask such personal questions!?”
  839. > “Because she’s been producing lower quality milk for the last three batches. Is there something wrong?”
  840.  
  841. “No, nothing's wrong. And if there was, it's none of your concern anyways!”
  842. > Lotus looked over at Aloe
  843. > “Get me a glass of Muffins milk.” She ordered
  844. > Lotus was the older of the two
  845. > She looks like she’s somewhere in her late thirties
  846. > Aloe on the other hoof looks to be somewhere between Muffins and my age.
  847.  
  848. > Aloe nodded then got up from her seat and headed down the stairs and into the storeroom a couple paces to the left of the booth.
  849. > “And you.” Lotus continued “Just when I thought your milk couldn’t get any more trite. You come into work attempting to pedal this inedible garbage as milk?”
  850. > She pointed to a bottle of milk I had pumped earlier this morning
  851. > “This is shlock. It has little taste and doesn’t make me feel anything!”
  852. “W…With all due respect, you aren't actually supposed to feel anything from drinking milk. It's about enjoying the moment. It’s about the intimacy of consuming something a mare produces naturally from her breasts. At Least, that's what it was about until recently.”
  853. > This thought made me sad
  854.  
  855. > Aloe returned with a wine glass filled to the lip with Muffins Milk and I could already smell the saccharine vapors rising from the glass.
  856. > Muffins milk is very dense, a trait which I had never seen in unaltered milk before.
  857. > It has the consistency of the perfectly blended milkshake.
  858. > When chilled, it rolls down your throat like butter.
  859. > Aloe scooted back into her seat beside Lotus
  860.  
  861. “Look, I’ve been taking the pills Milky gave me, they seem to be working.”
  862. > “And your fat intake?”
  863. > I looked down at my belly and grabbed a hoof-full of loose flesh from my side and jiggled it half heartedly
  864. “Ummm…Lots?”
  865. > Lotus took a large swig of the milk and when she was done she passed it over to Aloe who did the same
  866. > “Put on a couple more pounds and up your medication to twice a day.”
  867. > Twice a day? That's twelve pills a day! Are they crazy!?
  868. “Oh, I really don’t think that's a good idea. And I REALLY shouldn’t be ingesting ANY fat with my physique. My doctor always told me that grounded Pegasi need a very strict diet. Our bones are paper thin and underdeveloped. We also gain weight extremely easily. The added body weight could damage, or even break my bones beyond repair!”
  869.  
  870.  
  871. > “Pegasi.” Aloe grumbled running her hoofs along the table spastically
  872. > I could tell that the effects of the milk were already taking hold by how erratic and aimless she was behaving.
  873. > It was like she was struck with a fitful energy and had no way to let it out.
  874. > “They really are simple, aren’t they?” Lotus chuckled
  875. > “As are all ponies in this ramshackle empire.”
  876. > “How did we get shanghaied into this? From the cobblestone streets of Prance to this hinterland hellhole?”
  877. > “I hate this town more than anything, but being with you makes it all okay.”
  878. > They stared into each others eyes creeping closer and closer until they smashed their faces like striking cobras
  879. > They began an impromptu sloppy makeout session
  880.  
  881. > Milk ran down theirs chins as they began pawing at each others chunky frames
  882. > “Promise me we’ll go back to Prance soon!” Aloe asked, breathing hysterically.
  883. > “Yes sister, we will return to Prance in the finest attire these ponies can mend! And father will be so proud of us! He will bless us with fillies!"
  884. > “You’re the best sister a pony could ask for!”
  885. > They tugged themselves into eachothers grasp and began violently kissing again.
  886. > I like to believe that I don’t hate anypony
  887. > But if I did…They were the ponies from Prance…
  888. > They have the indecency of earth ponies with the pompous attitude of yuppie, Canterlot unicorns
  889. > They buck like earth ponies in heat but with the sick minds of the most sexually deviant Unicorns.
  890. > Hmmm…
  891. > Maybe Coco is from Prance?
  892. > I should ask her sometime, it would explain a lot.
  893. > Regardless, Earth pony/Unicorn hybrids are a mistake.
  894.  
  895. > Lotus turned to me, her pupils jittering about her head like highly caffeinated fruit flies
  896. > “Fluttershy, you may be shocked to discover that even the most intimate details of your relationship IS our concern. We paid a lot of money to get partnered into this business. Do you not understand how much money her milk makes us?”
  897.  
  898. “I do. And I wish you guys would pay us more for the barrels.” I sighed
  899. > “You’re pushing your luck Fluttershy.” Aloe warned
  900. > Lotus slid the milk glass to my side of the table
  901.  
  902. > “Drink.” Lotus ordered
  903. > I put the glass to my lips and when the milk touched my gums my entire mouth went numb
  904. > Muffins milk may be the worst thing to ever happen to the milk scene in Ponyville
  905. > But there's no denying it's syrupy, sugary goodness.
  906. > I took a couple more sips and the room began to spin
  907. > That all too familiar unease was rising in my chest and I felt a strong impulse to move
  908. > I began kicking my legs below the table and swaying back and forth
  909. > I put the glass down and wiped the thick milk residue from my upper lip
  910.  
  911. > “Do you not see that something is wrong?”
  912. “No…I think it’s great!"
  913. > “Obviously you didn’t try the previous batches.” Aloe scoffed “When her milk was at peak potency.”
  914. “What exactly do you two want? When she first began producing her milk never tasted like this, or made ponies feel crazy. Whatever is causing this is beyond our control."
  915. > I will say, Muffins milk really lowers inhibitions.
  916. > I would never argue with them like this with a sober mind.
  917.  
  918. > Lotus lunged forward, nearly jumping over the table
  919. > She grabbed me by the shoulders and began shaking be back and forth
  920. > “I want her to produce the same quality milk she did last week!"
  921. > She stopped shaking me and held me in place
  922. > She began speaking slowly and with intention
  923. > "I need you two to start fucking again to get her juices flowing. I know you two haven’t been getting frisky like you used to.”
  924.  
  925.  
  926. “How would you know what we do in bed?” I slurred
  927. > She looked over at Aloe
  928. > “We have eyes everywhere”
  929. > I felt like throwing up
  930. > Was she spying on us?
  931.  
  932. > “If you can’t start that mares motor anymore I’ll move into your cottage personally and fuck that bird brain myself. Or, I’ll send Lotus over as a “maid” and Derpy can sleep with her all day if it makes her happy. You don't want Aloe getting between your relationship. She’s been ruining relationships before Pinkie fucked her first husband.”
  933.  
  934. > Aloe licked her lips “I’ll show that uncultured little butterball how a REAL mare makes love.”
  935.  
  936. > “Oh sis, you're teasing me!” Lotus giggled
  937. > Aloe shoved her hoof between her legs and began to masturbate at the table
  938. > “I’ll take her nice and slow…” She moaned, rolling her hips
  939. “You…You can’t do any of this!” I cried
  940. > “You don’t think we will? Stupid pony! We’ve made more money in a month than the Mayor of Manehatten does in a year off of Derpys milk. Don’t think we’re going to lose a cent of our pay because of the “sanctity of your relationship.” Lotus snapped
  941.  
  942. > I couldn’t believe it
  943. > They were actual monsters
  944. > Lotus leaned back to her seat, the milks grasp was slowly beginning to wear off on her.
  945. > Aloe swiped the glass and finished the last of it in one big gulp
  946. > She stared at her hooves in awe for a moment
  947. > Lotus rolled her eyes “Lightweight.”
  948. > She stuck her hoof between her sisters legs and began rubbing
  949. > Aloe gripped the table and leaned back into her seat with her eyes rolled back and tongue hanging from her bottom lip
  950.  
  951. > “Have you made it with Mayor Mare?” Lotus asked
  952. > I pulled eyes away from Aloe
  953. “S..Sorry? What did you say?”
  954. > Lotus wiped her unoccupied hoof through her chest fluff, staring at it as if she was growing bored of our conversation.
  955. > “The Mayor. You’re supposed to have a chat with her?” She pressed
  956. “Oh! Yes, I’m still waiting for my interview.”
  957. > “You know Fluttershy, there's a lot riding on this plan. We're just afraid you'll fuck it up."
  958. “I’ll get it done!” I cried
  959.  
  960. > “You’re the only mare she will trust on this sort of issue. We're just worried that if she wants to sleep with you you'll act…. prudish.”
  961.  
  962. > I can’t believe the nerve of this pony
  963. “I’m not sleeping with Mayor Mare.”
  964. > “Why not? Are you admitting to being nothing but a tease?”
  965. “I’m in a very loving relationship with Muffins! And I’m not going to betray her trust like that. We promised we’d have a monogamous relationship.”
  966.  
  967. > Aloe started to laugh
  968. > “You talk about family? Lotus is my sister! And when we get married I will love her like my own flesh and blood, but that won't stop me from sleeping around every now and then."
  969. > Has the world gone completely crazy!?
  970. “She is your flesh and blood!” I argued
  971.  
  972. > “Hey! Don’t talk to my sister/wife that way!” Aloe shot back
  973. > I feel a panic attack coming on
  974. > Theses Prance ponies are going to be the end of me!
  975. > “All’s fair in love and war Fluttershy. You need to represent the company above all else. bribe her, sleep with her, offer free milk, it doesn't matter. She’s been cracking down on degenerate crimes thanks to Pinkie's little stunt at Sugar Cube corner. Tell the mayor that she has my assurance that prostitution within the borders of Ponyville won't cause any more trouble now that Pinkie has been socially exiled."
  976.  
  977. “I still don’t know why you don't just tell her that yourself.”
  978. > She paused for a moment and looked down in thought
  979. > “We aren’t speaking right now. There's too much talk. If we’re seen together it could jeopardize BOTH of our professional lives.”
  980. > I feel so much pressure now
  981. > “Oh, yeah. And that glass of Derpys Milk is twenty five bits. You can pay us back tomorrow.”
  982. “You’re mean!” I cried
  983.  
  984. > Lotus pulled her hoof from her sisters crotch
  985. > It was soaked in vaginal fluids which she wiped on the table
  986. “Aloe, take Fluttershy home. She's done working for today."
  987. > Aloe nodded then grabbed my leg and tugged me through the bar
  988. > I can't believe this is happening!
  989.  
  990. > Once we reached the door Aloe pushed me outside then stopped and stared at me stone faced
  991. > "Lotus is a patient mare, but I'm not. Get Derpy laid or I'll find somepony who can."
  992. "Look, Aloe things between us have been a little strained but the milk is still great, honestly. I'm sure with a little time we'll…"
  993.  
  994. > "Listen Fluttershy. Fix your relationship, or we'll test the loyalty of that Earth pony mutt. Understand?'
  995. > I nodded nervously
  996. > "Good. Now get out of here, I'm getting sick of looking at you."
  997. > She closed the door on my face
  998. > The milk rush was wearing off, and I felt the danger looming above our heads like a storm
  999. > For our survival, I need to give Muffins the best lay of her life
  1000. > Luckily, I planning on doing just that when I got home…
  1001.  
  1002. Derpy
  1003.  
  1004. > “Muffins, if you would be so kind. Can you please be quiet and please, for the love of Celestia stop touching things!” Rarity shouted
  1005. > I shut her cupboards
  1006. > No costumes…
  1007. > Time to move onto the closets!
  1008. “How can you not have Nightmare Night costumes out yet?”
  1009. > “Darling, I’ver told you a hundred times. I’m not selling any costumes this year. My new clientele would laugh me out of business if they saw silly Nightmare Night outfits on display.”
  1010.  
  1011. > Pinkie had finally finished her route, I could move onto more important things
  1012. > Like picking my Nightmare Night costume!
  1013. > But for some reason, Rarity was hiding them from me
  1014. “Rarity, please! just let me see them!”
  1015.  
  1016. > “Am I speaking old ponish? No, I don’t think I am.” Rarity muttered
  1017. > “I’m just going to ignore you now.”
  1018. > She hunched over her sewing machine and returned
  1019. > I opened her closet, but all I could see was boring dresses and suits
  1020. “I wanna be something scary this year! Like a Bat Pony or a Timberwolf!'
  1021. > “How about you be a mare with breasts on her chest who turns her friend's boutique into a slip and slide whenever she visits? Because you seem to know how to play that role quite well." She hissed
  1022.  
  1023. “You gotta have them somewhere!” I cried
  1024. > I began throwing open everything with a handle
  1025. > Closets, cupboards, doors, the fridge…
  1026. > When I reached the last couple closets Rarity snapped
  1027. > "Muffins stop!”
  1028. > I did what I always do when ponies yell at me
  1029. > Freeze in place
  1030. > “There will be no costumes being made at the Boutique this year. I'm sticking to strictly evening gowns and business suits from now on.”
  1031. > I let my guard down and blew raspberries at her
  1032. "Boring!"
  1033.  
  1034. > "Muffins please, I'm trying to work.”
  1035. “Well...If you're not making costumes this year maybe you can help me make mine.”
  1036. > I pulled two hoof-fulls of mixed fabric from a randomly assorted pile off the closet floor and dropped on the table in front of her
  1037.  
  1038. > She screamed, throwing her hooves wildly into the air
  1039. > The sewing machine began to smoke and a putter
  1040. > She began violently fumbling her hooves over the sewing machine looking for the off button
  1041. > When she managed to shut it down the haywire machine went silent
  1042. > A cloud of black smoke hung above our heads
  1043. > We threw our hooves over our noses as the smell of burnt plastic held hostage the room.
  1044.  
  1045. > Rarity dragged her hoof over her face
  1046. > “How do you manage to break everything to touch?”
  1047. “I…Don’t know…I’m sorry Rarity.”
  1048. > She flicked her hoof from her face and closed her eyes
  1049. > “Okay…You want to make a costume? Fine.”
  1050. > She exhaled deeply and began observing the pile
  1051. > "Wait a second…This is just a pile of scrap fabric and empty cardboard rolls."
  1052. > Without moving her head, she eyed me down with a look of increasing annoyance
  1053. > I looked down at the pile
  1054. > And it appears she’s right
  1055.  
  1056. "Hmmm….I guess it is."
  1057. > Rarity picked the entire pile off the table and tossed it on the floor
  1058. > She turned to the sewing machine and began removing the case with a small screwdriver
  1059. > “Look, how about you just go as what you were last year?”
  1060. “Last year? You mean my paper bag pony costume?”
  1061. > “Exactly! That was an amazing costume!”
  1062. “I don’t know…I threw that costume out.” I sighed
  1063.  
  1064.  
  1065. > “Darling, it was five paper bags. You can buy more.”
  1066. > The case of the sewing machine collapsed onto the table and she began digging through the machine's wiry innards.
  1067. “I guess.” I sighed
  1068. > “Excellent! Now that you have your costume picked out you can run along, and I can get back to wor…”
  1069. “Do you have any paper bags?”
  1070. > She looked offended by the question
  1071. > Stopping what she was doing and tilting her head
  1072. > “Muffins. This is a boutique, not some kind of a household supply store.” She laughed
  1073. > She dug her hoof into the machine again and began ripping pieces of torn fabric from the clogged gears.
  1074.  
  1075. “I was hoping to try some on before Nightmare Night to see if they still fit.”
  1076. > “Derp-….I mean…Darling, they’re paper bags! Of course they’ll fit!”
  1077.  
  1078. “Hmmmm….” I pondered
  1079. > Rarity's head collapsed into the sewing machine making a loud “THUD!”
  1080. > “What are you thinking about now?” She sighed
  1081. “I’m just wondering…..What if you made all our costumes out of paper bags this year?”
  1082. > “But I’m not making costumes at all this year! And who are you talking about? “our costumes?” What in Equestria are you on about!?”
  1083. > She threw her hooves into the air and dropped them onto the table like dead weight causing all the screws to jump along the table.
  1084. “Well….Instead of throwing out our old costumes we can reuse them every year! We’ll have a paper bag costume collection system! And every year, we all swap costumes! Oh my gosh! Rarity! We can call it recycling!”
  1085. > This might be my greatest idea ever!
  1086.  
  1087. > “That would never work.” She said with bluntly
  1088. “Why not?”
  1089. > “Because why would ponies want to use the same thing over and over?”
  1090. “I don’t know….Save money?”
  1091. > “And who’s going to collect all these paper bags every year and distribute them?”
  1092. “I guess you will.”
  1093. > “Me!?”
  1094. > She jerked her head up from the machine
  1095. > “And then what? I’m stuck with a bunch of sweaty paper bags laying around my house all year on the off chance that somepony wants to reuse them?”
  1096. “Exactly!”
  1097. > “No Muffins! Not exactly! This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard! No pony wants to wear paper bags on Nightmare Night.”
  1098. “Well if you don't make costumes for us that's all everypony will be wearing!” I argued
  1099.  
  1100. > Usually I hate yelling, but Rarity and I have been doing this sort of thing since we were fillies
  1101. > She’s one of my closest friends.
  1102. > “Oh, for the love of harmony! don’t you have a job, a marefriend or ANYTHING to do other than being here?”
  1103. “No? I finished my job two hours ago. Why do you think I’m here?” I giggled
  1104.  
  1105. > She looked shocked
  1106. > “Muffins! It’s nine in the morning!”
  1107. “I know, I’m always done with work this early.”
  1108. > “And what are you planning to do with all this free time?”
  1109.  
  1110. “I WAS going to buy a Nightmare Night costume, but it seems like you’re not in the holiday spirit.”
  1111. > “I guess I’m not.” She replied pointedly
  1112. > She pulled the final pieces of fabric from her machine, slammed the plastic shell back into place and began reinserting the screws.
  1113. > The room became very quiet…
  1114.  
  1115. >...
  1116.  
  1117. “Soooo….”
  1118.  
  1119. >....
  1120.  
  1121. “Do you wanna go to Mare Mart with me and buy some paper bags?”
  1122. > "Muffins, do you need something to do?"
  1123. "Obviously.” I giggled, rolling my eye
  1124. > She grabbed a pen and a piece of paper from her desk drawer and began feverishly writing
  1125. > When she was done, she folded the paper, shoved it in an envelope, sealed it, and passed it to me.
  1126. > “Here, bring this to Applejack. It’s very important."
  1127.  
  1128.  
  1129. "Sure thing Rarity!"
  1130. > I swiped the envelope from her hooves and slipper it between my breast
  1131. > I haven't seen Applejack in a couple days and this was a great excuse to drop by!
  1132. > She’s been going through a really rough time with Filthy rich and she probably would like a friend right now
  1133.  
  1134. > I trotted through town and when I got to the edge of the city limits I cut into the forest
  1135. > It's a quicker, more peaceful trail to Sweet Apple Acres that not many ponies know about.
  1136. > The trail was straight and narrow
  1137. > All the trees are wearing their autumn colors, canopied over the path like blankets.
  1138. > The sun was shining through the colorful leaves giving the path a lively fall glow and all the frost had melted away
  1139. > The earth beneath my hooves soft
  1140. > It was a perfectly serene moment.
  1141.  
  1142. > As I walked deeper into the woods my ears twinged
  1143. > What sounded like heavy hooves kicked behind me, trampling over crinkled leaves.
  1144. > I spun around but saw nopony on the trail
  1145. “Weird.”
  1146. > I continued down the trail keeping my eye on everything that moved even slightly
  1147. > The wind whispered through the trees causing leaves to rain from above
  1148. > Shadows and sunlight wrestled along the tree trunks and trail
  1149. > The steps became louder
  1150. > I stopped in my tracks and began to sweat
  1151. > My heart was hammering and my breasts were gushing to its beat
  1152.  
  1153. > The milk ran down my legs and quickly formed a small puddle at my hooves
  1154. > I stepped backwards to escape the muck but it was pointless
  1155. > It followed wherever I stood
  1156. > My head swiveled as my eye shot about the forest
  1157. > A violent gust of wind raptured through the trees creating a thunder of chattering leaves
  1158. > The beating of the hooves consumed the forest
  1159. > My heart palpitated at the pace of a hummingbird's wings
  1160. > My breath staggered
  1161.  
  1162. > I want to scream
  1163. > I want to cry out
  1164. > But my utter terror prevented me from screaming
  1165. > Instead, my mind raced with possibilities
  1166. > Is this the end?
  1167. > I don’t wanna die…
  1168.  
  1169. > The pounding of the hooves ceased
  1170. > The wind had died
  1171. > All I could hear was the blood rushing through my ears and my anxious breath
  1172. “Please…W…Wherever you are…D…D…on't hurt me. I’m just a little Pegasus….P…Please don’t hurt me….”
  1173. > I tried to speak but all that I could muster was high pitched whimpers
  1174.  
  1175. > A snap of a branch sent my eyes to the sky
  1176. > the branches swayed gently in the wind
  1177. > My eye was getting tired and my vision blurring
  1178. “Please…” I whispered
  1179. > A loud crash shook the earth
  1180. > I spun around as fast as I could and was met with a pair of legs the size of tree trunks
  1181. > I tilted my head to the sky and gazed upon this titanic mare
  1182. > She had the quality of rot and smelled like hot, spoiled meat
  1183. > Roots peeled from her skin and twigs protruding from her blue fur
  1184. > She was covered in mud and her eyes glowed yellow
  1185. > What was this strange creature?
  1186.  
  1187. > “Hi, Derpy.” The mare hissed
  1188. > It took me a second to realize, but the voice was all too familiar
  1189. “C…Cloudchaser!?”
  1190. > She leaned down and met me face to face
  1191. > "Derpy." She chuckled
  1192. > I stepped backwards, but with each step I dug myself deeper into the milk and mud
  1193. > What happened to her?
  1194. > She looked like she had been living in the forest for weeks!
  1195. > Not only that, but her hooves were sealed in thick, brown bark and she had grown to the size of a barge
  1196.  
  1197. > Various types of moss and fungi sprouted around calluses in her cracked skin
  1198. > Life bloomed from deep lacerations and dead skin
  1199. > Her body had become host of all kinds of plant life
  1200. > Damp vegetation poured from deep gnashes along her husk, staining her faded blue coat with moldy green blight.
  1201. > A large chunk from the left side of her head was missing and in the crater a culture plant life thrived, the miss and vines dripping down her face almost like a mane.
  1202.  
  1203. > Her chest was sealed in wood but was also home to a large gaping hole where a number of fungi, molds and mosses thrived around her exposed, still beating heart.
  1204. > It was the most unnatural and horrifying thing my eye had ever rested upon.
  1205.  
  1206. “Oh! Ummm…. Hi Cloudchaser….L…Long time no see…” I chuckled nervously
  1207. > “What's a little mare like you doing all alone in the forest?”
  1208. “Uh….Ummm..…W..W..ell, I…I…I…I..I was just on my way to visit Applejack….”
  1209. > She stared me in the eye and I could feel her glowing gaze ripping through straight into my soul.
  1210. “W…Where have you been? I…I haven’t seen in a long time.”
  1211. > She blinked and tilted her head
  1212.  
  1213. > "Did you miss me?"
  1214. "Ummm…no….I mean yes! We all thought you moved away."
  1215. > "And I bet you were SO happy to hear that.”
  1216. > As hard as I tried I couldn’t take my eyes off her disgusting form
  1217. > Her body was a tattered shipwreck
  1218. > The deep pits in her wood crusted chest and head were stuffed with wild flora, long strands of moss bleeding from her chest, belly and brain
  1219. > Blue flowers with speckled orange splotches were hatching all along her body
  1220. > Her still beating heart naked to the world, hemorrhaging like a water balloon pierced with pin sized holes gushing blood with every beat
  1221. > How was she even alive?
  1222. "What happened to you?"
  1223.  
  1224. > Her smile sent a cold shiver down my spine
  1225. > “My decomposing vessel has proven to be a suitable coffin for the forest. I have been crowned by the Everfree as her physical manifestation. But that's just my interpretation of the unexplainable magical blunders which have befallen me.”
  1226. “Oh..Oh..Okay…” I replied not understanding a word of what she was saying
  1227.  
  1228. > “I work for a very important pony now, and They’ve asked to find out about this “Best Pony” Business.”
  1229. > Cloudchaser ran her hoof under my nipple and stole a dribble of milk from my milk soaked bra
  1230. > when she brought the milk to her mouth she immediately wretched
  1231. > “Disgusting!” She spat
  1232.  
  1233. > “I guess we can rule you off the list of suspects…” She muttered
  1234. > Cloudchaser was looking for me?
  1235. > I tried to pull my hooves up from the mud, but they had sunk too deep.
  1236. > “Where do you think you’re going?”
  1237. “I’m going to see my friend!” I cried hoping if she saw me as too pathetic to both with.
  1238.  
  1239. > A devious smile crawled along her face and I could see her green rotten teeth behind her sadistic grin
  1240. > “Do you like what I’ve become? Part Timber wolf, part tree, part Pegasi? I think between the two of us I've suffered the better fate of that insufferable little unicorn."
  1241.  
  1242. > "Wha-? You mean Twilight?"
  1243. > She nodded her head
  1244. "Twilight is not insufferable…She’s nice…”
  1245. > “What's with you and Twilight anyway? You know she doesn’t care about you, right?”
  1246. “That's not true.” I grumbled under my breath
  1247. > “You don’t believe me? Sweet Celestia, Derpy, are you really that blind?”
  1248. “Stop it Cloudchaser, please just let me pass.”
  1249. > “Oh Derpy, how I’ve missed you.” She snickered
  1250.  
  1251. > “Do you wanna know about Twilight?”
  1252. > I didn’t reply and simply assumed that she would tell me whatever it was on her twisted mind regardless of what I said
  1253.  
  1254. > “She’s an easy rut….If you can pin her down.”
  1255. > My ears shot up and my eyes widened
  1256. “W..What did you say?”
  1257. > “Come on Derpy! Don’t act like you’ve never thought about it before you little psycho. Just hold her down, cover her mouth and have your way…She loves it.”
  1258. “S..hut up..”
  1259. > I know what she was saying were lies, but they still bothered me.
  1260.  
  1261. > “Twilight’s a real freak. She’s a filthy little degenerate Unicorn.”
  1262. > She began to softly laugh to herself “You wouldn’t believe the things that get her off.”
  1263. > In my panic I was able to rip my front hooves from the mud
  1264. > I threw over my ears and nodded my head back and forth
  1265. “No, no, no…” I repeated “T..Twilights a good pony, she would never do such a thing.”
  1266. > “Twilight likes it when you sneak into her room at night and tie her up, she likes it when you force feed her milk and stick pins in her…Do you like that Muffins? Or does it make you feel sick?”
  1267.  
  1268. “SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!” I wailed
  1269. > She jerked forward and wrapped her hoof around my wings and began lifting me off the ground.
  1270. > I thrashed my limbs fruitlessly and watched the ground escape me.
  1271.  
  1272. > She straightened her neck and armored a large stance
  1273. > Her chest was a wall of timber with patches of sickly meat jutting randomly between pinching lumber
  1274. > Her feathers stood erect and began to expel green mist which plumed from the cracks between her feather
  1275. > Every strand of her mangy fur stood pointed like thistles
  1276.  
  1277. > Once we were at eye level I shot her a nervous smile
  1278. “Ummm…Sorry, Cloudchaser.” I stammered
  1279. > The look she gave me which suggested it was probably to late for apologies
  1280. > “Did you know that the potion Twilight gave me was filled with Orange Speckled Blossoms? It’s a marsh flower in the Everfree, famous for infecting ponies with swamp fever.”
  1281. “T…hen shouldn’t you be a tree by now? Why are you…you…Why are you this?”
  1282.  
  1283. > “Whatever that oafish unicorn put into the potion did a lot of things. Its intended purpose was to give me breasts, which it did quite successfully.”
  1284. > Cloudchaser swung me to her right side like a rag doll and lifted her back leg
  1285. > Her breasts were large dark balls of fat.
  1286. > They were encased in four thick roots which pursed them like a bra
  1287. > Fat protruded from the spaces between the soft wood
  1288. > Her nipples were large and peaked from the between the vines. They jiggled with every subtle movement.
  1289. > "Even in this state my milk is still better than yours."
  1290.  
  1291. > She wiggled her backside and milk began to spray wildly
  1292. > She used the crusty edge of her wing to grab a small bit of milk from her teat
  1293. > A small drop of milk rested on the blade of her longest feather which she dangled in front of me
  1294. > "Drink" She demanded
  1295. > I didn't want to, but I feared what she would do to me if I didn't
  1296. > I stuck my tongue out and lapped the milk from her wing
  1297.  
  1298. > It was warm and tasted earthy, similar to coffee but dirtier.
  1299. > A flash of blue and green fractal patterns consumed my vision
  1300. > For a second all I could see was infinite, revolving shapes spiraling into one another
  1301. > The uncomfortable images disappeared as quickly as they appeared leaving me disoriented and frightened
  1302. "What was that!?" I yelped
  1303. > "Twilight sure knows how to brew something fierce. Of course everything she creates is a blunder."
  1304. > I gritted my teeth
  1305. > How dare she speak of Twilight like that.
  1306.  
  1307. > “I looked at that potion book she used to curse us during one of my midnight visits. Strange stuff my friend, if you saw what she has in that library you would think twice about letting her experiment on you. I saw that in the potion she blended a number of odd ingredients. Powdered Timberwolf bark, Orange Speckled Blossom petals, Milkfrost Dust, Mycelium Extract, “Synthesized Dimorphadesiac Vines” and Mashed Berries.”
  1308. “Berries? Like blueberries?
  1309. > “Berries of a Shiver Plant. It grows in the Everfree and just so happens to contain enough cyanide to kill an entire village of ponies."
  1310. “So…What happened? Did you go to the doctor?”
  1311.  
  1312. > “No, Derpy. I died. On my way home the night of the party, I was overwhelmed with an intense cold. I collapsed at my doorstep but awoke shortly after. When I was able to get my bearings I had realized I had cheated death, making me more powerful than any Pegasi, Earth Pony or Unicorn. The plants which feed off my vessel prove that I have metamorphosized into something beyond pony. I am the undying spirit of the forest and even as I speak I can their voices are screaming, telling me all sorts of things…”
  1313.  
  1314. > She went quiet for a moment and looked up at the swinging trees above.
  1315. “You’re not going to kill me are you.”
  1316. > She paused for a moment
  1317. > “No…The forest wishes for you to stay alive. For now….But if I had MY way…Well. I’ll spare you the gory details.”
  1318. “Please…Just let me go!” My eyes were starting to well with tears
  1319. > “You’ve always been a pathetic little marelet. I’ve never met another pony as small and fat as you.”
  1320. > I shook my head
  1321. “I’m Compact…” I muttered wiping my eyes
  1322. > She raised her eyebrows “What are you babbling about?”
  1323. “M..My dad…He used to say I was compact…Pegasi, come in all shapes and sizes.”
  1324. > She laughed from her gut
  1325. > “Pegasi!? Don’t make me laugh! You’re a mutt at best. You got more earth pony in you than anything!”
  1326.  
  1327. “I do not! I’m a pegasi! Quick, loyal and proud!”
  1328. > Cloudchaser shook her head and chuckled
  1329. > “You know what I like about you Derpy? You never disappoint. Just when I thought I couldn’t think any less of you, you start rambling on about Pegasi culture or running a business or the other hundred other things you know nothing about. I would love to shut that annoying mouth of yours. Do you know how many ponies would love that too? If I finally got rid of Derpy Hooves? I would be a hero.”
  1330. “S…Stop it Cloudchaser! That's not funny!”
  1331. > I could feel the skin between my wings and back beginning to tear
  1332.  
  1333. > “Look, this has been fun but you don’t have any business here. This is a F.R.E.E future development sight.”
  1334. "You're working for Filthy Rich?"
  1335. > “Oh, yes! He’s an amazing stallion. Mr. Rich hired me to keep all unaccompanied ponies away from the farm.
  1336. “Well….Applejack hasn’t signed the contract yet! And she never will! Tell Filthy Rich he can’t use his money to bully ponies! Now Put me down!” I said thrashing my legs fitfully
  1337. > “What? Am I hurting your wings? It’s not like you use them anyways.” She laughed
  1338.  
  1339. > As she chuckled my back leg collided with her eye
  1340. > She dropped me the instant my hoof made contact
  1341. > She threw her hoof over her eyes and began to wail
  1342. > I pulled myself up from the mud and bolted down the path towards Applejacks without looking back.
  1343.  
  1344.  
  1345. Twilight:
  1346.  
  1347. > I sat in Granny Smith's old bedroom which had been emptied
  1348. > The furniture had been removed
  1349. > Stains where pictures once hung were now lonely hoofprints of dust.
  1350.  
  1351. > All along the floor I was surrounded by Apple family heirlooms, old clothes, stacks of unused candles and a mountain of photo albums.
  1352. > Rainbow Dash had hollowed out Granny Smith's closet and laid everything on the floor for me to pack away into boxes.
  1353.  
  1354. “Yeah, if you could just help us organize some things.” I muttered to myself
  1355. > “It will only take an hour, she said.”
  1356. > All that was left in the bedroom was a tattered old mattress and a dresser which was pressed up against the window.
  1357. > Applejack had shoved all their furniture against the windows and doors and were being used as barricades
  1358. > The room was lit by dim candlelights and a small crack of sunlight piercing between the wall and the dresser.
  1359.  
  1360. > Rainbow entered the room with a glass of milk and a mug of cider on a large wooden tray
  1361. > “How’s it going in here?”
  1362. "Fine. I thought you said this was going to be easy?"
  1363. > "Granny has always had a lot of stuff." Rainbow chuckled
  1364. > "up until recently, Applejack wanted to leave the room untouched. But our hooves have been pushed. This is the last room in the house not yet packed."
  1365.  
  1366. > She offered me the glass of milk
  1367. > “What? It’s cow milk.” She said with shifting eyes
  1368. > I rolled my own eyes in response
  1369. “Of course it is.”
  1370. > I grabbed the drink and took a sip and continued my work
  1371. > Rainbow sat beside me looking around the room acting unusually quiet while taking sips of cider
  1372.  
  1373. > Rainbow had abused all sorts of things in her life, but she didn’t like to talk about that much.
  1374. > Her eyes are sunken in, surrounded by black circles.
  1375. > She wore baggy, unkempt clothes and the scars of her previous life are riddled across her face next to bruises and cuts that never healed quite right.
  1376. > Her wings are a ghastly sight and it was clear she had been stress preening again
  1377. > Rainbow was a good friend, but she had a hard life
  1378. > I'm happy she's gone back to working on herself again.
  1379.  
  1380. > “Don’t tell Applejack I’m drinking this…” She whispered, guilt trembling in her voice
  1381. > I was alarmed and a little puzzled
  1382. > From my understanding, Applejack allowed Rainbow one cider a day.
  1383. > Was she unintentionally revealing to me that this wasn’t her first?
  1384. > Or was this a purposeful cry for help?
  1385. > Part of me wanted tell her I couldn’t do that
  1386. > I feel like that's what she wants me to say
  1387. > But I nodded in agreement
  1388.  
  1389. > By the state of her wings she’s been preening a lot and a cup of cider is a much better coping mechanism than picking yourself to the bone.
  1390. “Only if you promise not to drink any more after I leave.”
  1391. > She nodded and took a large sip
  1392.  
  1393. > I grabbed a photobook from the pile and scanned through the dates
  1394. > I was organizing all their family albums by date before packing them into boxes
  1395. > The Apple family has lots of very old photos dating all the way back to the founding of Ponyville.
  1396. > Rainbow placed her hooves over my right breast and began standing over it while leaning over shoulder
  1397. > Being a Pegasi, she doesn't weigh very much but it was still kind of annoying
  1398. > I flipped through the pages of the dusty old book, scanning the corners of every photo looking for a date.
  1399. > This particular book was very old
  1400. > The pictures were all grainy and printed in black and white
  1401. > In every photo, ponies were standing blank faced and staring into the camera with lifeless expressions
  1402.  
  1403. “Applejack has some really old photos. She could probably open a Ponyville history museum with all this stuff. “
  1404. “Her family has been here for a long time.” Rainbow nodded
  1405. > I searched through the entire book for a date but couldn’t find one, so I relegated it to the box marked "Really old photos”
  1406. > I snatched another book from the pile
  1407.  
  1408. > This one was newer
  1409. > Inside were colored pictures
  1410. > Most of them were of Applejack and Big Mac when they were fillies
  1411. > I flipped the album grinning
  1412. > The final page was a group photo in front of the farmhouse with Granny Smith, Applejack, Big Mac and a strange looking family to their left.
  1413.  
  1414. > A stallion and a mare with a newborn baby in her hooves
  1415. > The mare had very large breasts and her face was gaunt
  1416. > Something about her made me feel…Uneasy.
  1417.  
  1418. “Do you know who these two are?”
  1419. > “Oh, that's the Hooves. Derpys parents.”
  1420. > I never thought about what Derpys parents looked like.
  1421. > I just I assumed they’d be rubes
  1422. > These weren’t the ponies I was expecting
  1423. > Her father was quite good looking
  1424. > He was wearing blue three piece and a charming smile
  1425.  
  1426. > Her mom looked exhausted but she was far from ugly
  1427. > She just looked very tired
  1428. “Did you know them at all?"
  1429. > “Yeah, Derpy's dad was some big wig at the mine, but I don’t know what her mom did, she never went out much.”
  1430. > “What happened to the mine anyway?”
  1431. “I don’t know. It Just shut down one day. I hear it was some kind of chemical leak and everypony had to leave…I’m not the most well versed on this kind of stuff though.”
  1432.  
  1433. > Since I moved to Ponyville the mine has been something of the elephant in the room
  1434. > It occupies a huge plot of land east of the town but no pony ever mentions it and whenever it's brought up it's only ever in passing.
  1435. > I’ve always wondered what was down there…
  1436.  
  1437. > I closed the book and put it to my side then continued going through the pile
  1438. > “You should have been here when we were fillies. I bet we would've been great friends."
  1439. > “I highly doubt that.” I laughed, “I think we met at the perfect moment.”
  1440. > Rainbow looked around the room, her smile fading
  1441. > “Twilight, if they close Sweet Apple Acres…Will you come visit us?”
  1442. > I’ve never seen Rainbow choked up like this
  1443. > She really believed that farm was doomed to close
  1444. “Of course I will. But that's not going to happen."
  1445. > “Yeah, We’ll get through this.” She nodded without much confidence
  1446. “I know you will, packing is just precautionary. Like I always say, it's good to be prepared!”
  1447.  
  1448. > Rainbow wrapped her hooves around my next and gave me a big hug
  1449. > “I don’t know what we’re gonna do.…I…I just don’t know.”
  1450. “There, there Rainbow. I promise you that I’ve been working very hard with the mayor and lots of other ponies to find out what Filthy Rich is up to.”
  1451. > She sniffled and nodded
  1452. > “I want to help too.”
  1453.  
  1454. "You are, you're being strong for Applejack."
  1455. > She shook her head disagreeably
  1456. > “Applejack never leaves the house anymore she’s scared Filthy Rich is going to send ponies into the farm to sabotage us. She doesn’t even go out on the field to maintain the land. she just watches the windows and places defenses around the house. She’s afraid of losing her home but I’m afraid I’m losing her! She’s the only mare I know who is strong enough to handle me at my worst and I need her. She’s helped me through the most difficult times in my life and now I feel like it’s my time to help her. Staying guard around the house at all hours of the day while the outside world decides what it’s going to do with us isn’t going to save the farm. I need to be a mare of action.”
  1457. > I nodded
  1458.  
  1459. "That's the Rainbow Dash I know and love! So tell me, what do you think we should do?"
  1460. > She pulled away then looked up in thought
  1461. > "We need to ask around. We've spent too much time bogged down in politics. If we want to save the farm we're gonna have to get dirty. We need to find out who works for him and make them tell us everything they know!"
  1462.  
  1463. > "But that's the thing, we don't even know what he's doing. The construction ponies he shipped in are just as blind as us. And none of his business pony friends have made a peep about the project. The only pony I can think of questioning is Mrs. Rich, but she hasn't said a word about any of this since she moved into town."
  1464.  
  1465. > "Mrs. Rich, eh? Oh, I know a way to make her talk." Rainbow giggled
  1466. > She smiled and rubbed her hooves together
  1467.  
  1468. > A rapping on the front door pulled us from our conversation
  1469. > Rainbow went to the window and peaked between the crack
  1470. > "Muffins!?" What are you doing here!?” Rainbow shouted
  1471.  
  1472. > "I'm here to deliver a letter!"
  1473. > "Okay! I'll open the door for you!"
  1474. > Rainbow trotted out the door and down the stairs
  1475. > Great, Derpy
  1476. > The last pony I EVER want to see
  1477.  
  1478. > After a couple minutes Rainbow and Muffins trotted upstairs
  1479. > Muffins was covered in milk and mud and her bra had a large tear down the middle
  1480. "What happened to you!?"
  1481. > Rainbow shrugged
  1482. > "That's what I've been asking! But she doesn't want to tell me."
  1483.  
  1484. > She clumsily made her way through the obstacle course of Granny Smiths old stuff
  1485. > Once she reached the middle of the room she plopped down beside me and crashed her head over my right breast.
  1486. > Her head bobbed up and down over my boob like it was a waterbed
  1487. > "Scritch my ears." She asked sadly
  1488.  
  1489. > Ever since that damn party she's constantly asking me to “scritch” her ears
  1490. > I looked up at Dash who was trying to control her laughter
  1491. > I began scratching her ears
  1492. "What's wrong Derpy." I groaned
  1493.  
  1494. > Her eye bounced around the room
  1495. > “You'd never give me cyanide would you?"
  1496. > Dash fell to the floor laughing and kicking her legs into the air
  1497. "What!? No! I'd never give you cyanide!"
  1498. > She wiped her snout
  1499. > "Okay….Good." She nodded
  1500. > Rainbow pulled herself up and wiped her eyes
  1501.  
  1502. > "You think Twilight’s gonna poison you?"
  1503. > "No…It's just….Well…I….N….Never mind."
  1504. > "You said we got a letter?" Rainbow asked
  1505. > "I do…But it's for Applejack."
  1506.  
  1507. > "I don't think she'll mind if I read it."
  1508.  
  1509. > Derpy removed the letter from between her breast and passed it to Rainbow
  1510. > Rainbow curled up on my left side and opened it.
  1511.  
  1512. > The letter read:
  1513. > "Please give Derpy something to do, she's driving me crazy!!! - Rarity."
  1514. > The two of us exchanged glances
  1515. > I could tell Rainbow was trying not to burst out laughing again
  1516. > She jumped to her hooves and pet Derpy on the shoulder as she made her way across the room.
  1517.  
  1518. > "Okay Muffins, how about we head to the gym?'
  1519. > "I think I've already ran enough for today." She replied holding her stomach
  1520. > "Now that's just your soft spot speaking again! Let me just run to my room real quick to pick up my gym clothes and we’ll be on our way.”
  1521. > Rainbow shot me a wink and a smile before exiting
  1522. > Muffins picked herself up and followed Rainbow Dash out the door
  1523.  
  1524. > I continued packing away the photo albums but the photo book containing the picture of Derpys parents continued pulling at my curiosity
  1525. > If anypony knows about the mine, it has to be Derpy.
  1526. > I wanted answers to this mystery since I arrived in Ponyville
  1527. > I bet that if anypony knows the true story about what happened to the mine, I guarantee it's Derpy.
  1528.  
  1529.  
  1530. Derpy:
  1531.  
  1532. > We arrived at the Ponyville gym and I was staring at all the mares working out.
  1533. > “So what are you thinking today, Muffins? Some push ups? Squats? Some weight lifting?
  1534. > I looked around the gym and all I saw were earth ponies
  1535. > What Cloudchaser had said was really bugging me
  1536. > What if she’s right? What if I really am more Pegasi than Earth pony?
  1537. > It’s impossible, and I really shouldn’t let it bother me
  1538. > But it was getting under my skin
  1539.  
  1540. “Rainbow, I want to do a Pegasi workout.”
  1541. > “Like, what?”
  1542. “I want to go up to Cloudsdale and workout with Pegasi."
  1543. > “Cloudsdale? Are you sure?”
  1544. “Yes, I’m a Pegasi and I need to go to Cloudsdale and do Pegasus things.”
  1545. > “Pegasus things?”
  1546. “Yeah! We’re Pegasi. We should go up to Cloudsdale and be with our kind!”
  1547.  
  1548. > Rainbow looked at her wings and sighed
  1549. > "I don't think either of us can make it up there. But I guess we'll take Berry Cherries balloon."
  1550. > I nodded and we went to her house
  1551.  
  1552. > Berry is a bitter mare and the entire time she was setting up the ballon she kept saying
  1553. > “You better find a way to cover those things. I don’t want you flooding my basket.”
  1554. > “We won’t.” Dash replied for the hundredths time
  1555. > “We’re going to hang her boobs over the edge like we promised.”
  1556.  
  1557. > “Fine. I just don’t want her mucking up my basket.”
  1558. > “We promise that nothing will happen to your basket.” Rainbow assured
  1559. > We entered the basket and I lifted my breasts over the edge
  1560. > Lifting these things was like a workout in itself.
  1561. > Berry untethered the ballon and we were off to Cloudsdale
  1562. > As we soared over Ponyville I watched my milk dripping onto the ground
  1563. > I hadn’t been in the air for a long time
  1564. > It felt nice feeling the wind hit my face
  1565. > The entire ride I closed my eyes, extended my wings and pretended I was flying.
  1566.  
  1567. > When we arrived at the gym we went straight to the change room
  1568. > Rainbow still has access to the Wonderbolt gym
  1569. > She didn’t want to go for some reason, but after a while she finally agreed.
  1570. > Once in the change room, Rainbow began to get changed
  1571. > She threw me a pair of pants and a sports bra
  1572. > “After what happened last time. I asked Rarity to make you a sports bra for our workouts.”
  1573. “Thanks Dash, I really appreciate it.”
  1574. > “Don’t mention it! Now take that soggy thing off and I’ll help you get dressed.”
  1575.  
  1576. > I looked around the room and saw all the other Pegasi changing
  1577. > They were so slim and fit
  1578. > It made me feel fat and unattractive
  1579. “Dash…Aren’t there any private change rooms around here?”
  1580. “Wait….You wanna help change?”
  1581. > “Yeah? But why do you wanna use them? Last time I pretty much saw everything.”
  1582. > I scanned the room and saw three private changing stalls
  1583. > I grabbed her hoof and dragged her one of them with me.
  1584.  
  1585. > “Ummm…Muffins, you know we can change by the lockers right? Everypony else does.”
  1586. “I don’t want to.”
  1587. > Rainbow sighed and lifted my bra over my head, smearing my face with milk
  1588. > My breasts dropped like two sacks of potatoes
  1589. > Dash laughed and ran her hoof across my breasts, collecting milk and licking her hoof
  1590. > “I think you have really great milk.” Dash said
  1591.  
  1592. > I tried a taste myself and it still tasted sour, meaning the pills were still working
  1593. “Thanks Dash.”
  1594. > She wrapped the sports bra around my chest, squeezing them together tightly
  1595. > The fabric was thick and felt plushie
  1596. > Rainbow stood back and admired it for a second
  1597.  
  1598. > “You know, I always thought you were cute.”
  1599. > “Oh, s..stop it…” I blushed
  1600. > Dash chuckled and began dabbing the milk from my face with a napkin
  1601. > “How’s Derpy Deliveries going?”
  1602.  
  1603. > “Oh….It’s going fine….”
  1604. > Dash went around my backside and began stroking my wings
  1605. > “Muffins, the base of your wings are bruised. Did something happen?”
  1606. “No!” I cried “That's how they always are!”
  1607. > “Don’t give me that, Let me see.”
  1608.  
  1609. > She pulled my wing open and began picking the bruises with her hoof.
  1610. > “Muffins, they look like they were handled very harshly, What happened?”
  1611. “L…Look, Rainbow…It’s nothing…Please don’t pry.”
  1612. > “But they look really sore.”
  1613. “Dash. Please. Don’t tell anypony.”
  1614.  
  1615. > She stared at me for a long moment
  1616. > “As you wish.” She sighed
  1617. > She moved to my backside and pushed my tail away
  1618.  
  1619. > “Applejack always says you were always getting yourself into trouble.”
  1620. “Applejack is a great friend.”
  1621. > “She is.”
  1622.  
  1623. > I lifted my back legs as she pulled the pants up
  1624. > When she got to my thighs she began tugging hard
  1625. > “Jeez Muffins, I knew you were back heavy but this is crazy! I think I’m gonna have to buy you something a couple sizes larger.”
  1626. > I sighed
  1627. “Dashie, am I a fat pony?”
  1628. > “No.” She grunted
  1629. “I mean…I know that we’re all a little plump…But sometimes I feel like I’m too big.”
  1630. > “Well, you could probably eat better, but like I said, I always thought you were cute.”
  1631. > My heart began to race
  1632. > She really DOES love me
  1633. “Dash, do you think…Like….Is it wrong to be attracted to other ponies when you’re in a relationship?”
  1634. > She stopped pulling and began to think
  1635. > She walked in front of me leaving the elastic of the pants to rest halfway around my butt
  1636. > “I don’t know…It’s probably not bad to think about it. We’re all sexual creatures. Acting on those urges is bad though.”
  1637. “Oh…”
  1638. > She paused for a moment
  1639. > “Muffins?”
  1640. “Yes!?”
  1641.  
  1642. > “Between us…You know that I’m still struggling with sobriety right?”
  1643. “I..I never knew that about you…”
  1644. > “I had a love affair with cider for a very long time and to this day I still think about it…Pinkie enabled my behavior for so long…It’s hard for me to be mad at her because I know she’s still struggling with her own demons. But I know that you and I are both stronger than her. Whatever you’re feeling, I know you can get through it.”
  1645. > She smiled at me and I smiled back
  1646. > I felt like this was the moment
  1647. > She wanted me to kiss her
  1648. > She loved me!
  1649. > I love her!
  1650. > This must be true love!
  1651.  
  1652. > I leaned in close, closed my eyes and pursed my lips
  1653. > After all these years I was finally going to kiss Rainbow Dash!
  1654. > We’re going to fall in love forever! And become true lovers!
  1655. > I’m so close I can smell her fur!
  1656. > She smells so sweet! Like a blueberry breakfast waffle!
  1657. > Just a couple more inches…
  1658.  
  1659. > I felt a hoof land over my lips
  1660. > “Muffins, what are you doing?”
  1661. > I opened my eyes and blinked a couple times
  1662. > Rainbow looked confused
  1663.  
  1664. “Oh…I thought maybe…You were…ummmm…..”
  1665. > She started to laugh
  1666. > “Oh Muffins! Am I the pony you were talking about? You’re such a silly pony!”
  1667. > I began to laugh nervously
  1668. “Oh! Y..Yeah! That's me! Silly Muffins!”
  1669. > “You know we’re both seeing other ponies! Imagine what ponies would say if we were dating!”
  1670. > I’m confused
  1671.  
  1672. “But I thought you said I was cute?”
  1673. > She placed her hoof over my shoulder
  1674. > “You are, you’re just not my type is all. You’re too….feminine.”
  1675. “Femin….I thought you were gay!?”
  1676. > “I am! But that doesn’t mean I love every mare. You just aren’t my type is all. I’m like you, I need a pony who can keep me on the straight and narrow. If we ever did fall in love the two of us would probably fall apart in a week due to a lack of structure.”
  1677.  
  1678. > She walked around my backside an pulled up my pants as hard as she could, giving me a wedgie
  1679. > I could feel the seam of the pants digging into mt marehood
  1680. > “Now let's get some sweat going!”
  1681.  
  1682. > I sighed and followed her into the workout area
  1683. > I bet I could be structured and organized if I tried….
  1684. > When we entered the workout area Dash said she spotted some of her old Wonderbolt friends from the academy.
  1685. > She kept her head low and crept around the workout machines like a sleuth
  1686. > I followed close behind as we made our way across the room on the tips of our hooves
  1687. “What are we doing?”
  1688. > “I don’t wanna talk to them right now.”
  1689.  
  1690. > “Ummm…Hey Dash, whatcha doin?” A voice called
  1691. > I looked up at the mares
  1692. > They were all so slim and fit
  1693. > Their wings were sharp and fur popped brightly with radiant life
  1694.  
  1695. > Dash jumped from the floor and began scratching the back of her head
  1696. > “Just working out with my good pal Muffins!” She said pointing to me
  1697. > Their eyes collectively widened and they approached me
  1698. > “Ain’t she something?” One of them whistled
  1699.  
  1700. > A white mare with a flowing blonde mane placed her hoof under my breast and softly bounced it up and down
  1701. > “I can’t imagine carrying these things around all day.” She chuckled
  1702. > She stuck out her hoof and introduced herself
  1703. > “My name's Surprise.”
  1704. “Nice to meet you. Oh!….And Y..Yeah it gets really hard sometimes.”
  1705.  
  1706. > A blue mare with eyes very similar to Rainbows approached and immediately grabbed my ear then pinched it
  1707. > “Ow! What did you do that for?”
  1708. > “Fleethoof.” She nodded “And you are?”
  1709. “Ummmm….Derpy Hooves!”
  1710. > “Cute name.” She giggled
  1711. > “Shove off, guys, she isn’t here to play this game.” Rainbow said
  1712.  
  1713. > Fleethoof rolled her eyes and rested her wing over my shoulder
  1714. > “Don’t listen to Rainbow Dash, I know your types love this sort of attention.”
  1715. "My type?"
  1716. > "Yeah, you know sissies."
  1717. "I'm not a sissy!"
  1718. > The mares looked shocked, and began to whisper between themselves
  1719. > slowly they started to grin
  1720.  
  1721. > “Knock it off, she’s not here for THAT.” Rainbow said “Just leave, let her workout in peace.”
  1722. > The mares glanced at each other and nodded
  1723. > They seemed to share a deep non verbal communication between the two of them.
  1724. > “So Dash?" Surprise asked
  1725. > "When are you planning to go back and finish flight school?”
  1726. > "Oh, shut up." Rainbow grumbled
  1727.  
  1728. > “Well, WE’VE almost graduated, you’re what? Thirty?”
  1729. > “I still have time!” Rainbow replied
  1730. > “Please, you were old when you joined the academy. You’ll be nearing forty by the time you finish.”
  1731.  
  1732. > The white mare approached me and nudged my shoulder
  1733. > “Rainbow here was quite the dinker when she was in the Wonderbolts Academy. Not much of a party drinker, more like a sad, alcoholic drunk that nopony wanted to be around.”
  1734. > Rainbow went to shove her but the mare was too quick and weaved out of the way
  1735. > She was so nimble, moving with speed and finesse
  1736.  
  1737. > “Fastest mare in Ponyville.” Surprise chuckled
  1738. > "I guess I would be too if I lived amongst earth ponies my entire adult life, right Derpy?"
  1739. > I looked at Rainbow, not sure what to say
  1740. > "What are you doing hanging around a pony her age anyway? You look way too young to be wasting your time with this washout."
  1741.  
  1742. > “Dash has always had a thing for younger mares. She was twenty five hitting on eighteen year old recruits.”
  1743. > They both started to laugh
  1744. > “I remember that! Creepy Dash getting the minors wasted in her dorm.”
  1745. > “She got let off because she was “intoxicated.”
  1746.  
  1747. > They both stared at me expectantly
  1748. "Rainbow is a very nice pony. You two should treat her better."
  1749.  
  1750. > Surprise nuzzled my head and laughed
  1751. > "Oh! Aren't you SO precious! I gotta give you some credit Dashie, you found a real keeper with this one. Did you fatten her up yourself? What a strange way to harbor dependence. But I like it, it's very creative."
  1752.  
  1753. “Leave her alone.” Rainbow snapped
  1754. > Fleethoof shoved Surprise aside and got into Dashs face
  1755. > "Fuck, you're really looking for a fight aintcha? How about we square down right here. Winner gets Derpy."
  1756.  
  1757. > Dash leaned in closer
  1758. > "You really want me to break your wings before finals?" She snarled
  1759. > Fleethoof pulled away and stepped backwards
  1760. > “We'll get you one day." She muttered
  1761.  
  1762. > Rainbow grabbed me by the wing
  1763. "You knew those two? They're so mean."
  1764. > "No, they're just Pegasi." Rainbow huffed
  1765. > Gosh, I didn't know that about Pegasi!
  1766. > I have a lot to learn…
  1767.  
  1768. > She left us to an empty corner of the gym and scanned the room before dropping my hoof
  1769. > “Now stay here, I’m going to grab us some workout mats.”
  1770. > I looked around the room all I saw were slim ponies with wings
  1771. > It feels good being around only Pegasi
  1772. > These are my ponies!
  1773.  
  1774. > The white pony began making her way towards me
  1775. > I looked away, trying to pretend I didn't see her
  1776. > But she approached anyways
  1777. > "Derpy, you know that I can take care of you right."
  1778. "What do you mean?"
  1779. > "Well look at you. You're so soft. You come off as a mare who needs a protector. I can protect you."
  1780. “I…I don’t need a protector…I…I think I’m fine.”
  1781. > She began rubbing her hoof along my jawbone
  1782. > “Fuck, you’re perfect ain’tcha. I could have lots of fun with a mare like you.”
  1783. “What do you mean?”
  1784. > “You want me to go into the details sweetheart?”
  1785. “I’d rather you didn’t do that.”
  1786.  
  1787. > She rolled her eyes “You beta types confuse me.”
  1788. "You're making me sad and confused too….”
  1789. > I hung my head and stared at the floor
  1790. > “BUT!” She continued “You’re also very kind and beautiful and obedient. And I think you’ll make an amazing trophy for your future marefriend. which is me of course." She whispered
  1791. > She flicked my snout
  1792. “Ow! Why do you keep hurting me?”
  1793. > She looked a little confused
  1794. > “What do you mean? I’m just dancing? Wait…Do you not know how this works?”
  1795.  
  1796. > “Surprise! Get outta here!” Dash shouted as she approached
  1797. > “I bet you feel so good about yourself, swiping this one up.” She hissed
  1798. > “She’s not mine and she’s taken, so buzz off.”
  1799. > “Of course she’s already taken. The good ones are always taken.”
  1800. > She approached me with a completely new attitude and shook my hoof
  1801.  
  1802. > “I’m very sorry, I hope you and your lover have a wonderful relationship.”
  1803. > She kissed my hoof and and walked away
  1804. "Dash, what the heck is wrong with them?"
  1805. > “Things are different around here, just ignore them.”
  1806.  
  1807. > Dash pulled out a clipboard and began reading
  1808. > "So, you wanna start with stretching then move onto push ups? Or we could…"
  1809. “No, I want to do the wing exercises!
  1810. > Dash sighed
  1811. > "Seriously?"
  1812. "Yep! I wanna be slim and fit, just like them!"
  1813. > Dash looked over at Fleethoof and Surprise who were staring at us snickering
  1814.  
  1815. > "You know, they're on a pretty strenuous workout routine and I don't think that you'll get the same results no matter how hard you try."
  1816. "Why not?"
  1817. > "Because you're a…..Look, nevermind. You wanna do Pegasi exercises? Fine. Give me twenty wing pushups."
  1818.  
  1819. > I fell to my belly
  1820. > My face planted between my boobs
  1821. > I put my wings to the floor and with all my might tried to pull myself up
  1822. > But I couldn’t
  1823. > I lifted my head and looked up at Dash
  1824. > I could feel the milk and sweat sliding down my face
  1825. "I…I can't do it."
  1826.  
  1827. > “Yo Dash! By the time she gets up she’ll be too old for ya.”
  1828. > Dash grabbed me by the hoof and began pulling me out of the gym
  1829. > “I knew this was a bad idea, why did I agree to this.” She muttered
  1830. “Sorry Dash, I don’t know what’s gotten into them.”
  1831. > “Look, it's fine. Just get dressed and we’ll go to McHoofies.”
  1832.  
  1833.  
  1834. .....................................................................................................................................
  1835. > Dash didn’t order anything
  1836. > Instead she just stared out the window watching the sunset
  1837. "Those ponies were weird, weren't they?”
  1838. > "They were trying to make you their bitch."
  1839. > I looked down at my burger
  1840. “Yeah…I didn’t like them.”
  1841.  
  1842. > Dash pulled her face from the window
  1843. > "Muffins, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it’s been a long time coming. You aren’t a full blooded Pegasus. You're not even a half-breed Pegasus.”
  1844. "What does that have to do with anything?"
  1845. > "You don't understand our mating practices or how we select mates. You don’t like to exercise, you don’t have the kill or be killed attitude and you're just too soft. Pegasi value speed, loyalty and…"
  1846. "Everything I'm not." I huffed
  1847. > "It's okay to be more earth pony than Pegasi. I mean...It's obvious you are, just by how horny you are all the time."
  1848. "I'm not horny all the time!"
  1849. > "You tried to kiss me in the change room." She said boldly
  1850.  
  1851. "Well. That's because I thought you were coming onto me!"
  1852. > "Look. What you saw back there with all the biting and the bullying. That's Pegasi flirting. What I was doing in the change room was helping. If I were you I would spend some time with the earth ponies in town. I think they're more your style. They're always talking about food, sex, hard work and all the other things you jive with.”
  1853. "I'm a Pegasus just like you! I'm not more earth pony! I can fly, walk on clouds and do everything you can!"
  1854. > "Muffins, you just ate twelve McHoofies burgers."
  1855.  
  1856. > My gut began to rumble
  1857. "So? What does that have to do with anything?"
  1858. > "I don't know any Pegasi who can eat that much and not get sick."
  1859. > "I think you should explore Earth Pony culture. I think you'd feel more comfortable in your skin if you did."
  1860. "Earth ponies are gross. All they wanna do is eat and rut."
  1861. > "Oh, come on Muffins. Those are just stereotypes!"
  1862.  
  1863.  
  1864.  
  1865.  
  1866. Pinkie:
  1867.  
  1868. > I finished my hayburger as I approached Fluttershy's cottage
  1869. > Sometimes my appetite can be just as unrelenting as the heat between my legs!
  1870. > I could pounce on the next pony I meet and screw their brains out with the amount of sexual frustration building up in my heinie.
  1871.  
  1872. > The door knob began to wiggle and I took a large inhale of the last clean air I'll be breathing for while
  1873. > Fluttershy opened the door, looking as defeated as the day she was born
  1874. > She had a small smile but it quickly faded when she saw ne
  1875. > "Oh, it's just you." She sighed
  1876. "I'm glad you're thrilled to see me." I replied sardonically
  1877. > "It's not that! I was just hoping it was Muffins."
  1878. "She's not home yet? I was supposed to meet her here."
  1879. > "She's not."
  1880. > ….
  1881. > "Do you want to come in?"
  1882.  
  1883. > I walked into the cottage and admired the clutter
  1884. > As I took the in the disaster before me, I saw piles of unwashed clothes fermenting in the corner of the doorway
  1885. Beneath vacant coat racks lied coats soaked in milk and wrinkled beyond belief
  1886. > Plastic tubes rolled through the house like snakes only adding to the mess on the grimey floor.
  1887.  
  1888. > I followed Fluttershy into the living room where she sat across from me on her couch
  1889. > My senses were being taken on a rollercoaster of disgust
  1890. > The smell of stale milk, rotten food, rat feces
  1891.  
  1892. > But by far the most pungent and revolting smell emanated from Fluttershy herself
  1893. > She was layered in so much sweat her fur had taken on a glossy tone
  1894. > Like a candle dipped in wax she had been consumed by this new lifestyle
  1895. > I could see in her eyes that this life was slowly corrupting her
  1896. > Fluttershy has always been a very tidy pony, seeing her cottage in this state was surreal and I felt like I had entered another reality.
  1897.  
  1898. > "How are you doing today?"
  1899. > I shook my head from my daze
  1900. "Oh, I'm doing fine, I was supposed to meet Muffins to help you too "get it on" But I guess she forgot."
  1901. > "G…Get it on?" Fluttershy asked raising her hoof to her mouth
  1902. "Yeah, she said she wanted me to…"
  1903. > The look on her face made me reconsider explaining
  1904. "Look, I know you two are quite….odd…"
  1905. > Fluttershy crossed her hooves
  1906. "Muffins told me she wanted to experiment…sexually, and asked me to come over. I know it's weird and after explaining it I feel like I've agreed to something I probably shouldn't have. I'll see myself out."
  1907. > Just as stood up Fluttershy jumped from her seat
  1908. > "Wait!"
  1909.  
  1910. > "Since you're here I wanna show you something I've been working on."
  1911. > She led me down the hall to the bedroom
  1912. > "Now close your eyes."
  1913. > I closed my eyes and giggled
  1914. "What have you been up to?"
  1915.  
  1916. > I heard a bit of crashing and the sound of her undressing
  1917. > "Okay! Open up!"
  1918. > I opened my eyes and what I saw made my jaw drop
  1919.  
  1920. > The floor of her bedroom was covered with hay
  1921. > She had long pieces of cardboard painted to look like the side of a barn leaning along the walls.
  1922. > There were pictures of cows, water guns filled with milk, dildos, a breast pump and more than my eyes could even take in.
  1923. > She threw on a pair of plastic cow ears and cow print socks and stood over a tin bucket adorning the most awkward face
  1924. > "Ummm…Moo?"
  1925.  
  1926. > I don’t even know where to begin….
  1927. > "Fluttershy, this is insane. What the heck is all this stuff!?"
  1928. > "Well you see, I had this idea where I could be a cow and she would be a farmer and she would milk me."
  1929.  
  1930. > I was speechless
  1931. "Fluttershy,After saying all that out loud, does it feel more or less insane?"
  1932. > She fell to the floor
  1933. > "I don't know anymore, I'm trying my best but it's almost like she doesn't like me anymore."
  1934. "Come on Fluttershy, you just need to figure out what gets her going! What do you guys do in bed? Have you tried face sitting?"
  1935.  
  1936. > "Well, no. She says she's afraid of suffocating under my "fat butt." But she sits on my face all the time and her butt is bigger than mine!".
  1937.  
  1938. "She sits on your face ALL the time?"
  1939. > She nodded her head
  1940. > "sometimes for hours. I don't know why. We'll be in the middle of talking about my day and suddenly she wants to sit on my face. I think my job really turns her on." She giggled
  1941. > I rolled my eyes
  1942. > Fluttershy is probably the ONLY pony Muffins could EVER manipulate.
  1943.  
  1944. "Do you think that maybe she's doing it to keep you quiet?"
  1945. > "I never thought about it like that."
  1946. > Fluttershy started into space looking dumbfounded
  1947. "Have you two ever sat down and talked about you like in bed?"
  1948.  
  1949. > Fluttershy shook her head
  1950. > "I don't think Muffins knows what she likes."
  1951. > Fluttershy looked upwards in thought
  1952. > "Well….I think that Muffins likes mares who she respects. Twilight for instance. Twilight hasn't ever given her a hint of interest, yet she follows her around like a puppy."
  1953.  
  1954. "Well that's it then! You just need to show her who's boss!"
  1955. > "I've tried! But she doesn't listen to me."
  1956. "Fluttershy, it's very easy. Just lay down the law. This is your house, she should respect that you're letting her stay here after all."
  1957. > Fluttershy looked down and away
  1958. > "Why does love have to be so hard?"
  1959.  
  1960. > The front door clicked open and the sound of hoofsteps approached
  1961. > Fluttershy jumped to her hooves and began pushing me out of the room
  1962. > "Quick! I want this to be a surprise!"
  1963. > Fluttershy almost threw me off my hooves with how rough she was pushing me.
  1964. > Fluttershy slammed the door and when I turned around I was staring at Rainbow Dash
  1965. > I felt my heart stop and my body seize
  1966. > Rainbow twisted her head in confusion
  1967.  
  1968. > I side eyed Fluttetshy who was looking down at Muffins, equally nervous for completely different reasons.
  1969. > Dash and I locked eyes for a long, increasingly awkward moment
  1970. > Why was she here!?
  1971. > I swallowed the lump in my throat and attempted to speak but all that came out was a hushed, squeaky
  1972. "What's up Rainbow Dash?"
  1973.  
  1974. > "I was just escorting Muffins home."
  1975. > Was that a slant?
  1976. > That bitch!
  1977. >...
  1978. > Maybe I'm overthinking
  1979. > Dash would never
  1980.  
  1981. > She removed one of my business cards from her gym bag
  1982. > "But not like escort ponies."
  1983. > That bitch!
  1984. > "Pinkie, how can you….Why do you keep….Just why? You've already made such an ass of yourself."
  1985. “I’m trying to make Bits.”
  1986.  
  1987. > Dash looked up at Fluttershy who was in still in her cow outfit
  1988. > She then looked back at me
  1989. > Then up at Fluttershy again
  1990. > “Fluttershy, please tell me this isn’t what I think it is…”
  1991. > “Ummm…What do you think this is?”
  1992. > Rainbow turned back to me
  1993.  
  1994. > “I can see you being sloppy seconds to random ponies, but your friends!? Seriously Pinkie!?”
  1995. “No! Muffins hired me! She’s totally cool with all of this!”
  1996. > We all turned to Muffins
  1997. > “Ummm…I…I…I was just hoping that maybe Pinkie could teach us how to….be better in bed?”
  1998. > Rainbow shook her head, looking disappointed in all of us
  1999. > I felt like rolling into a ball and flinging myself as far away as I could
  2000. > This is true rock bottom.
  2001.  
  2002. > “Look, if you want advice, I can help you but I’m not doing it if SHE’S here.”
  2003. “Fine! I don’t wanna do it with you either!”
  2004. > I grabbed Muffins hoof
  2005. “I’ll go with Muffins and YOU can go with Fluttershy.”
  2006.  
  2007. > “Do you think that's the best idea?” Fluttershy asked “I mean, shouldn’t we all collaborate so we can all share ideas and understand each other better?”
  2008. >...
  2009. > “Fluttershy, I love you like a sister, but I am NOT working with Pinkie if I don’t have to. You and I will talk, Pinkie and Muffins will talk and the two of you can discuss what you’ve learned between yourselves.”
  2010. > I nodded in agreement
  2011. > Thank Celestia for compromise
  2012. > Doing this with Rainbow scrutinizing me the entire time would just make things awkward
  2013.  
  2014. > Muffins and I went into the kitchen while Rainbow and Fluttershy entered the bedroom
  2015. “Okay Muffins, I’m here to help. Whatever you want to say feel free to tell me. This is a no judgment zone.”
  2016. > "Dash keeps saying I'm not a Pegasi! She thinks I'm an earth pony."
  2017. > Despite our history, Dash was kinda right
  2018. > Muffins definitely have the physicality of an Earth Pony.
  2019. > Her mindset is harder to pinpoint
  2020. > Though, trying to figure out what was going through that scrambled noggin relating to ANYTHING is a task probably better reserved for professionals
  2021. > I’m not a professional
  2022. > But she definitely is an earth pony, despite what she believes.
  2023.  
  2024. "You know Muffins, Earth Ponies are a very good race. Many think we're all just fat, inbred, sex addicts."
  2025. >.....
  2026. > "And!?"
  2027. "Oh! They're completely right!"
  2028. > Muffins looked like she was about to cry
  2029. "But! We're not only the hardest working breed, we’re also the strongest! When's the last time you got sick?"
  2030. > "I don't know….It's been a very long time "
  2031.  
  2032. "Exactly! That's why you never have to shower or do the dishes. But it's important for us to be hygienic so our (inferior) friends don't get Ill."
  2033. > Muffins put her hooves over her forehead, staring down at the floor looking like she was on the brink of an existential crisis.
  2034. > "I feel like my entire life has been a lie….Pinkie. You’re one of my bestest friends. Please tell me truthfully….What am I?”
  2035.  
  2036. > She looked like she was going to bawl
  2037. > I’ve seen her on the brink of tears many times, but this was different
  2038. > She had the face of pure terror behind weepy eyes
  2039. > For the second time today Muffins had forced my hoof
  2040. > I placed my hoof between the bridge of my snout fighting the urge to say something I know I'll regret.
  2041.  
  2042. > Except this time, the ramifications of my words could make or break this mares entire reality.
  2043. > If I tell her she’s a Pegasi she’ll be happy but continue to live in her delusions
  2044. > But if I tell her the truth, it could trigger her into start feeling more comfortable in her own skin
  2045. > Or it’ll break her brain….
  2046. > ….
  2047. > Fuck it
  2048.  
  2049. > I forced myself to smile
  2050. “Muffins, in all honesty I think that you’re a….”
  2051.  
  2052.  
  2053. Fluttershy:
  2054.  
  2055. > Rainbow paced about the room with unjustified anger
  2056. > Even when she was a filly, whenever Rainbow became passionate about anything she would march about without rhyme or reason
  2057. > I don’t know if was to create a commanding presence or if she drinks too much coffee
  2058. > But it always kinda frightened me…
  2059.  
  2060. > “I don’t know what Pinkies has been telling you, but forget all of it! Wipe it from your mind and replace all that awful advice with my awesome advice!”
  2061. > I just sighed
  2062. > I know both Pinkie and Rainbow are just trying to help, but this really isn’t appropriate
  2063. "Look Rainbow, I know that your intentions are good, but I've been waiting all day to spend some snuggle-time with Muffins. I would love it if everypony would just leave so the two of us could….”
  2064. > "I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Muffin's a little distraught right now. I just ripped off a band aid which should’ve been torn away years ago. Did you know that she believes that's she’s more Pegasi than Earth Pony?"
  2065. "Well…Yes, But I never saw that as a bad thing. Sometimes I feel like I'm more earth pony than Pegasi."
  2066.  
  2067. > Rainbow stopped her restless pacing and turned to me with the strangest face.
  2068. > "Yeah….But you know you aren't, right?"
  2069. “Oh, I don’t know…” I said hiding my face below my mane
  2070. > I really wasn’t sure, but it didn’t matter much to me anyhow
  2071. > Pegasi, Earth pony…At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter.
  2072. > I have my friends, a home and most importantly my lovely Muffins
  2073. > Life’s already complicated enough without worrying about such things.
  2074. > Judging by Rainbow’s twisted expression, which was a strange mixture between confusion, disgust and anger
  2075. > I don’t she didn’t think she agreed with that mentality in the slightest…
  2076.  
  2077. > "Look at yourself! You're lanky, you have wings, thin fur! Come on Fluttershy! Your personality is the archetype of the ideal beta Pegasi! The only reason you think you're an earth pony is because you've spent your entire life on the ground!"
  2078. "Yes, and that's what makes me an earth pony. I'm on the earth."
  2079. > I couldn’t help but shoot her a confident little smile
  2080.  
  2081. > Rainbow looked stunned
  2082. > "Does earth pony blood even run your family?"
  2083. “Gosh Rainbow, I really don’t know….When it comes down to our blood, aren’t we all A LITTLE mixed? I mean, I don't know how we got mixed in the first place, but I don't think anypony is really "pure".
  2084. > Dash shook her head in violent disagreement
  2085.  
  2086. > "Fluttershy, you're talking nonsense! Do you really think that their’s no difference between Me, a pure breed and Muffins?"
  2087. "Well now that you mention it…"
  2088. > "Yes!?" Rainbow urged
  2089. "Muffins isn't as loud " I peeped
  2090. > Rainbow looked frustrated
  2091. > “Do you know anything about Pegasi culture?”
  2092. “I can’t say I do, but does that really make me less of a Pegsi?”
  2093. > "Pegasi operate in a submissive/dominant hierarchy. YOU are clearly a beta, hence you're kind, soft and…weird nature."
  2094. "Weird? What's weird about me?"
  2095. > Rainbow exhaled deeply
  2096. "Look, at this point I'm starting to believe you're both too far gone. My suggestion is you both do some self reflection because not only are these delusions unhealthy, they're probably what's causing you both to not get along like you used to."
  2097. > Rainbow walked out and not a second later Muffins entered the bedroom
  2098.  
  2099. > But for some reason, she had head down
  2100. “Oh, Muffins! You’re back! How did your talk with Pinkie go?”
  2101. > “Fine.” She replied quick and coldly
  2102. “That's great! My talk with Rainbow was a little strange, but I think that we both learned a little something about each other! Did you learn anything?”
  2103. > She stopped near the bedside and stared at the mattress with an unchanging, haunted expression
  2104. > “I learned that I’m probably not a Pegasi. Meaning that my entire identity has pretty much been a lie. I don’t know if I can trust any of you to tell me the truth anymore, And I kinda just wanna go to sleep. I'm hoping this entire day was all just a really bad dream.”
  2105.  
  2106. “Oh! Ummmm…Are you sure? Because I set up this entire scene where you could be the farmer and I’d be a cow….”
  2107. > “Not interested. Good night.”
  2108. > This was odd…
  2109. > We crawled into bed and she sat upright staring into space
  2110. “Ummm….Muffins. Did you pick up that cream I asked you to?”
  2111. > Muffins shook her head and crawled into bed
  2112. "Oh…It’s no big deal, you can get it tomorrow!” I said with cheer
  2113. > “Fluttershy….J…Just stop.”
  2114. “Stop? Stop what?”
  2115. > She stared down at her hooves
  2116. > “What happened to us? You used to be….I mean…I…I always thought that no matter what…I would always know, that despite everything life threw at me that I could be certain that I was a Pegasi….I….I thought that I had some kind of control….I knew who I was…At Least I thought I did….Pegasi are Strong, loyal and proud….Pegasi don’t cry….B..But I guess after all these years I’m not REALLY a Pegasi? Fluttershy, why didn’t you tell me? After all these years why didn’t you tell me?”
  2117. “I…”
  2118. > What could I say?
  2119. “You see Muffins. I always thought you WERE a Pegasi! You certainly look like one, who’s to say you aren’t one?”
  2120.  
  2121. > She looked crushed
  2122. > Like the last flickering embers of hope had been snuffed.
  2123. > Leaving her cold and impersonal.
  2124. > “Fluttershy, I’m going to bed now.”
  2125.  
  2126. “But we haven’t even made love! I set this entire thing up for you to feel better!”
  2127. > She stuck the tubes to her teats, wrapped herself in the blankets and faced the wall
  2128. “Wait! Dash was telling me all sorts of things about Pegasi culture! Are you submissive or dominant? Because I could be either!...If you want me to be…”
  2129. > Oh! How do I do any of this!? It's so confusing!
  2130. > “Good night Fluttershy.”
  2131. >...
  2132. “Muffins? Are you asserting dominance?”
  2133. >....
  2134. “Muffins, I….I demand you to get up and pleasure me!…Please?”
  2135. >...
  2136. “Muffins…?”
  2137. >...
  2138.  
  2139. Theme:
  2140. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHk2PtPO5wY&ab_channel=MarelbroCigrettes

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