The Misadventures Of Derpy Hooves: Season 2 Episode 4


                                            The Misadventures Of Derpy Hooves (And Friends!)


                                            Season 2 Episode 4:  Derpy Passively Supports The Genocide Of Her Own Race But Is Still Somehow More Likeable Than Rainbow Dash By The End.


                                            (Or: DPSTGOHORBISSMLTRDBTE for short.)


                                            Pinkie Pie:


                                            > Appointed Rounds and I sat buried inside the branches of a thick honeysuckle bush.

                                            > Across the street sits the Ponyville post office.

                                            > It's around eight

                                            > The sun has set.

                                            > And the post office will be closing soon.


                                            > Appointed Rounds swigged from the bottle of "Celestia's Select"

                                            > A bottom shelf red I always bring to our stakeouts.

                                            > When she was finished drinking she wiped her lips and passed me the bottle.


                                            > An uncomfortable and sobering realization washed over me.

                                            > I'm sitting in a bush with a thirty year old mare, whom I barely know.

                                            > Drinking the cheapest wine in Equestria, while waiting for the post office to close so we can rob their mail for Muffins sham delivery service.


                                            > It's times like this I regret leaving home.

                                            > When I was a filly living alone on the rock farm, all I ever dreamed of was moving to Ponyville with all my friends.

                                            > Since my move, I've experienced so much.


                                            > I've hosted tons of party's

                                            > Had lots of sexual experiences

                                            > And drank, smoked and snorted more than any other pony I know.


                                            > I Fell in love

                                            > Made new friends

                                            > And went on lots of adventures representing one of the Elements of Harmony.


                                            > But it all fell apart when I turned pleasure into a profession.

                                            > If I had just stayed on track to becoming a baker none of this would have happened.

                                            > Instead, I pursued a life of greed, lies and infinite euphoria.

                                            > And lost everything.


                                            > Appointed Rounds had her gut peaking under her shirt which was choking her legs, chest and neck.

                                            > It was wrinkled and covered in stains


                                            > “You gonna drink that?” She burped


                                            “No…You can have it.”


                                            > I passed her the bottle and she took another long swig

                                            > When she was finished, she placed the bottle on the grass

                                            > She was already starting to wobble, and her eyelids were hanging low.


                                            > “I was fired for stealing.” Appointed Rounds said wiping the wine from her chin


                                            > “It was the first time in my life I’ve ever stolen anything too. And not a day goes by that I don't regret It….I look back on that day often....And I can’t help but feel stupid…I don't even know why I did it. But I know I would do it all again!”


                                            “But why? If you regret doing it so much, why would you do it again?”


                                            > “Let me tell you something. Once you get too comfortable doing the same thing everyday for years on end you become confident. But not only that, you start numbing and soon you’re dissociated from everything. Being too comfortable isn’t good. You feel immune, like you can get away with anything. And once you reach that level of comfort, you stop feeling anything at all.”


                                            > I just shook my head in disappointment

                                            > She hunched her back into the bushes and wore a defeated look

                                            > An uneasiness started growing in her eyes

                                            > Like she knew she was sharing something that she shouldn't.

                                            > It’s dangerous telling ponies how you feel.

                                            > Especially ponies you don’t know too well.


                                            > Appointed Rounds aren’t very well acquainted

                                            > She's a very reserved mare.

                                            > At least when she isn’t drinking.


                                            > I’ve been working with her for a week and still only know very little about her.

                                            > I know she lives in a farmhouse outside of town, but doesn't know anything about farming.

                                            > She was transferred from Cloudsdale to Ponyville a year ago with Rainy Days

                                            > She doesn't like Muffins at all

                                            > And she never drinks on the job

                                            >...

                                            > Well…Until she met me.


                                            > Sometimes I feel like I bring out the worst in ponies.

                                            > Dash didn't drink until we became intimate.

                                            > And once we started living together it's all we did

                                            > Especially after getting kicked out of Wonderbolts academy

                                            > Any normal pony would've stopped her from drinking

                                            > Instead, I encouraged her bad habits, because I never thought she would develop such a severe addiction.


                                            > I’ve always viewed drinking as a social lubricant.

                                            > Something that makes a great day better or a rotten day tolerable.

                                            > I’ve been having lots of rotten days.

                                            > As it stands, I’m probably the biggest alcoholic in Ponyville.

                                            > I like drinking with other ponies because when we drink, we say things we otherwise wouldn't


                                            > In the case of Appointed Rounds, most of what she tells me is stuff I never even ask about.

                                            > I feel like its unearned knowledge on my part

                                            > I just provide her with drinks, she returns the favour with stories of the crushing nature of working as a mail mare.

                                            > I’ve come to the conclusion that she has lots on her chest, but no ponies to talk with.


                                            > Appointed Rounds started to sway back and forth

                                            > I could tell she was getting tipsy.


                                            > "I had everything I needed! And I blew it all for a couple Bits!” She whined


                                            “I think we all do foolish things sometimes.” I replied, twirling my stringy mane around my hoof.


                                            > Appointed Rounds nodded


                                            > “Yeah, I heard about what you did. That was a MAJOR display of foolishness.” She chuckled


                                            “I know.” I sighed bitterly


                                            > “I mean, how could you be so reckless? Like, no offense. But how many stallions were you sleeping with?”


                                            “At my peak? I probably had around twenty rich, married stallions in my pocket.”


                                            > Appointed Rounds giggled “Geez. You really are a slut.”


                                            “I don’t wanna talk about it. Besides, I’m technically your boss. So I would keep the mocking to a minimum if I were you.”


                                            > “Yeah, because I value this job SO much!” She laughed


                                            > She swiped the bottle and took another long drink


                                            “It's not like anypony else will hire us anymore. Our reputations are ruined. We’re untouchables. In the eyes of Ponyville we’re no better than Muffins or Cloudchaser…”


                                            > Appointed Rounds blew raspberries and rolled her eyes

                                            > " If I knew I would be ostracized by the entire town for something so petty, I would've done something MUCH worse."


                                            "Oh, yeah? like what?"


                                            > "I don't know…I probably would've done something to Derpy…Like getting her drunk at work. Before delivering the mail…or something of that nature…I don’t know. I just hate her."


                                            "No you wouldn't." I sighed, "And you shouldn't say things like that."


                                            > Appointed Rounds stared at me with a look of annoyance and betrayal

                                            > “You never had to work with her.” She shot “And by the way. I thought you were supposed to be fun? What happened to being Ponyville's Party pony?”


                                            “I am fun! And I’m still the town's official party pony. I’m just waiting for these rumours to blow over so I can start planning parties again."


                                            > “I don’t think that will ever happen.”


                                            "Yeah..I'm starting to doubt I'll ever throw another party." I sighed


                                            > Appointed Rounds nodded

                                            > “Well, you’re gonna have to find something. Derpy Deliveries isn’t stable enough to be a career, no matter how many random bonuses Fluttershy doles out.”


                                            “I know, I’ve just never been the type to apply myself like that. I prefer having fun. I thought I could make a lifestyle out of sex and drinking, but clearly its not a sustainable lifestyle.”


                                            > “You’re still young, you got time.”


                                            > She stood up and wiped her naked rump

                                            > “Oh, come on! Did you spill something over here?” She complained


                                            “No, Why?”


                                            > She brushed the grass beneath her bottom and put her hoof to her nose


                                            > “It smells like….milk?”


                                            > I sighed

                                            “If it’s milk then it definitely wasn’t me. I can’t produce milk."


                                            > She picked up her teat and lifted her nipple to her eye. Examining it like a scientist looking through a microscope.


                                            > Closing one eye tightly as she stared at her nipples cavity.


                                            > “Was it me? I hope I’m not leaking.”


                                            “I think you’d notice.” I chuckled


                                            > She gently lowered her breast back between her legs.

                                            > This made my smile

                                            > Appointed Rounds is somewhat new too Ponyville and is still adjusting to her large bust.

                                            > Mares who move to ponyville always handle their teats like they're made of glass.

                                            > In reality, they can handle quite a lot of abuse.

                                            > I slammed mine in doorways, dropped them and tripped over them plenty of times while mine were still filling in.


                                            > Of course, it takes time to get used to having giant teats.

                                            > You have to adjust pretty much everything from the way you walk to how you lay in bed.

                                            > I’ve seen this happen far too often.

                                            > She’s careful now.

                                            > But in a couple months she'll be dropping and swinging them around without a care.


                                            > She stared at my teats for a moment

                                            > “Were you born here?"


                                            “Nah, I was born on a rock farm a couple hundred miles north of here. But I've been visiting Ponyville since I was a filly."


                                            > “When you noticed your teats were growing, were you alarmed?”


                                            “I was at first. But after a while they eventually stopped and I adjusted."


                                            > My eyes drifted down between her legs and smiled


                                            "Looks like yours are still filling in.”


                                            > She looked down at her plush teats, which were still in the process of developing.

                                            > Plush little things around the size of bowling balls with the consistency of jelly.

                                            > The fat looked soft and the tips of her nipples looked pink and irradiated.

                                            > When I met up with her earlier she was wearing a bra.

                                            > But once we were hidden inside the bushes she removed it and tossed it aside

                                            > She said wearing bras makes them itchy.

                                            > I don’t blame her, irritation is a common symptom during the expansion process.


                                            > The tender skin cradled inside bras made of harsh fabrics like the ones she wears doesn’t feel pleasant against growing teats.

                                            > But she'll grow accustomed to wearing bras soon.


                                            > “I’ve been in Ponyville for a little over a year now. And I’m still trying to adjust to all these changes.”


                                            “Don’t worry, AP. I know it feels weird at first but you'll get used to it."


                                            > She looked back at me, a little more nervous this time.


                                            > “Do they ever go back to normal? If I move away will they shrink back?"


                                            “You know…I’ve never heard of that happening. I think it's kinda like every mare's initiation into Ponyville. Once you're here you can’t leave…Unless you wanna join a traveling freak show or something!” I giggled


                                            > AP sighed and pet her teats

                                            > “You know, I never believed it. I thought that everypony in town was just messing with me. But now that my teats have grown, I'm trapped like everypony else in Ponyville. It makes me sad because I still had so much I wanted to see and do.”


                                            “Oh, it’s not so bad once you get used to them!” I laughed, flicking my hoof dismissively


                                            > "I could say the same to you." She replied matter of factly

                                            > I knew what she was implying

                                            > Cheeky mare.


                                            > I rolled my eyes and snatched the bottle from her hoof.

                                            "I think you've had enough."


                                            > Appointed Rounds scooted close to me as I nursed the bottle

                                            > “Is it true? Is your belly…?”


                                            > I brought the bottle from my lips and squinted

                                            “What about my belly?”


                                            > She started to rub her hooves anxiously and looked away

                                            > “I heard that when Trixie cursed you with the pig transformation spell. She gave you an embarrassing set of belly boobs….That's what everypony calls them…Is it true?”


                                            > My eyes fell to the bottle

                                            > “I only ask because everypony keeps telling me. And you do look kinda like a pig with your fat cheeks, short nose and cloven hooves…”


                                            > Speaking of adjusting, I still don’t know how I’m supposed to adapt to this awful curse

                                            > I feel so fat and dirty all the time now, and everypony stares at me like I’m Muffins.


                                            > “Look, I didn’t mean to upset you, I was just…”


                                            “I’ll let you see them for ten bits.”


                                            > “Ten bits!? Are you crazy? I’ll pay five.”


                                            “Eight!”


                                            > “Seven!”


                                            “Deal!”


                                            > She pulled some bits from her pocket and shoved them in my hoof

                                            > I pushed myself into an upright sitting position, leaning my weight over my back legs as I unbuttoned my coat.


                                            “I hate buttons. They’re impossible.”


                                            > “I’m with you on that one. They’re an elitist, unicorn invention!"

                                            > As I undid the buttons my breasts plopped sadly between the crack of my jacket.


                                            > After a couple frustrating minutes I reached the final button.

                                            > I threw off my jacket and lifted my front legs above my head.


                                            > Appointed Rounds looked shocked, disgusted and morbidly curious.


                                            > “Wow! Those things are super weird!" She gasped


                                            > She scooted even closer, and pulled her head forward, her snout only a couple inches from my stomach


                                            > She stared for a long while until finally laughing


                                            > “Gross! Why are they so flabby!?"

                                            “You done?” I sighed


                                            > “Wait!" She panicked


                                            > "Can I touch them?”


                                            >...


                                            “Do you have seven more Bits?”


                                            > She nodded agreeably


                                            >...


                                            “Alright, just no pinching.”


                                            > She dragged her hoof down my stomach, molesting every teat in its path

                                            > She was like a filly at a science center, and I was some kind of weird interactive exhibit


                                            > “They’re so cold…And wet.”


                                            “Yeah, I’m not sure why they’re like that.” I shrugged


                                            > “Is there any way to reverse the spell?”


                                            “I need to find “true love.” But I doubt I’ll be lucky enough to find somepony who will love me ever again. Before Trixie was crushed she gave me an hourglass and told me that when the sand emptied into the bottom I would be completely transformed. I just laid it on its side.”


                                            > “You stopped at the perfect time. You still look more pony than pig despite the nose and the cloven hooves…and the teats…”


                                            > I shot her a mean glare

                                            > “Come on! Don’t be so negative.” She replied, smacking one of my hollow teats up and down


                                            “That's easy for you to say! Have YOU ever tried looking for true love?”


                                            > “Fuck that!” She laughed “I’d rather die than get saddled. Most stallions are jerks and all the mares in this town are either catty, stupid or both.”


                                            “How did you get so jaded?” I chuckled


                                            > “I work as a public servant and spent my entire young adult life making minimum wage. And when you spend so much of your time managing ponies like Derpy and Rainy Days you stop having dreams."


                                            “Oh, Derpy’s not that bad!” I laughed


                                            > “You're biased. From what I hear you two have been friends for a long time.”


                                            "That's true, but I only know her because of Fluttershy. Ever since I met her she's always been super clingy and protective of Derpy."


                                            > "I don't know how anypony could stand her for more than an hour. She used to drive me nuts at work."


                                            “It’s like you said. You have a different relationship with her. In my opinion she's a good pony, even though she doesn’t believe she is.”


                                            > AP started to laugh


                                            "What's so funny?"


                                            > “She used to ask me that all the time! “Am I a bad pony?” “I’m a good pony, right?” She’s SO desperate for validation!"


                                            > I just nodded.

                                            > Muffins has lots of issues, and I don't want to speak Ill of her.

                                            > The reality is that she's just a very confused and sad pony.

                                            > It's not right to gossip about her.

                                            > It’s like making fun of an infant or a defenceless animal

                                            > She’s meant to be pitied and coddled, and expecting anything from her, even the slightest bit of competency is expecting too much.


                                            "There are worse ponies in Equestria…" I mumbled


                                            > "I know. I'm just being dramatic." She chuckled “I’m aware that in the grand scheme of things, Derpys just a harmless fuckup. But boy doesn’t she get on my nerves.”


                                            > She stopped batting my teats for a moment then looked up in thought.


                                            > "Hey, I wanted to ask since we met but I’ve always been far to…sober.”

                                            “What is it?”


                                            > “After the incident. Did you ever feel validated? Do you think Trixie got what she deserved?" She asked

                                            "What do you mean?"


                                            > "You know what I mean. If a pony tried to make me look like a pig I wouldn't lose any sleep about her getting smushed."


                                            > Talking about Trixie is always difficult, and honestly something I'd rather not discuss.

                                            > What Trixie did to me was horrible, but I don't think anypony deserves to go through what she did.

                                            > It was a bad scene when they pulled her from Sugar Cube Corner.

                                            > According to the first responders, she spent hours under Marble before her heart gave out.

                                            > When they finally reached her, her body was mangled beyond recognition

                                            > Nothing was remained but a pile of mush and splintered bones


                                            > I’ve thought a lot about what had happened, but despite everything, I'd still have plenty to say to her if I was given the opportunity…

                                            > She was such a damn tease! And she knew I liked her!

                                            > I hated how she always called me a home wrecker and an enabler, as if she was any better than me.


                                            > She was a thief, a narcissist, a bully and a poor excuse for a magician.

                                            > I think she deserved to suffer like she did, but at the same time I really do love her

                                            > As much as I can love somepony who isn't Dashie…


                                            > Trixie was smart to keep her distance

                                            > She saw what happened to Dash

                                            > She probably didn’t want to end up the same way.


                                            > I wish I didn’t hurt the ponies I care about most

                                            > Dash, Trixie, Marble…

                                            > What I call fun others call addiction

                                            > And I’ve never met another pony who could keep up with me when it comes to degeneracy

                                            > I have more sex than anypony and I gorge myself with sweets and drinks daily.

                                            > But somehow, I’m still alive.


                                            > I looked down at AP, who was pawing my teats like a cat.


                                            "I don't think I can answer your question. I'm trying not to think about her anymore, and believe it or not, I did like her at one time. But maybe we were just too different."


                                            > "I understand."  She nodded


                                            > I don’t think she was actually listening anymore.

                                            > But the expression on her face was priceless

                                            > She looked delighted groping my teats

                                            > It brought me joy seeing somepony so happy.


                                            > Appointed Rounds is super old

                                            > I think she’s twenty seven or something

                                            > I never see ponies her age excited about anything

                                            > But she looked so mystified and erotically excited while flicking my teats around

                                            > It was cute.


                                            > I think Appointed Rounds and I could work well together

                                            > She’s not exactly my type but she’s been treating me with more respect than most ponies do

                                            > I wonder if she feels the same way.


                                            > I put my hoof on her shoulder and rubbed it through her fur


                                            "I can’t produce, but I can feel milk inside them."


                                            > "Sorry?"


                                            "I said, I can feel milk in my teats. I just can't get it to come out."


                                            > She looked skeptical then slowly pressed the bottom of her hoof over one of my teats.

                                            > I felt the milk pushing away from her hoof inside my teat

                                            > Her hoof sunk deep into my spongy stomach

                                            > She began grinding her hoof deeper into my stomach and in a circular pattern she manipulated the milk between her hoof


                                            > It sloshed along the walls of the tender fatty pocket

                                            > She started to smile proudly


                                            > "I feel it too!"


                                            > She pulled her hoof back and my teat returned to its usual saggy figure


                                            > "Why are you so squishy?" She asked in a very genuine tone


                                            "I don't know. I've always had a very elastic casing." I chuckled stretching my stomach fat a couple inches away from my body


                                            > She nodded " It suits you."


                                            > Appointed Rounds is a cute mare

                                            > She has nice lavender fur

                                            > And her mane is short, giving her a very metropolitan/professional look

                                            > Her age and attitude is irresistible to me.

                                            > She has the personality of a bratty teenager while still being mature and wise

                                            > She wears a well styled mane and perfectly ironed clothes, but subtle hints of her true feelings leak through the mirage.


                                            > She doesn’t use deodorant, she has bags under her eyes and is extremely bitter towards anypony she believes is better or lesser than herself.

                                            > She’s very nice to me though

                                            > Her kindness towards me makes me wonder who’s more pathetic between the two of us


                                            > She reminds me of Dashie in lots of ways.

                                            > Lonely

                                            > Low income

                                            > Dumb

                                            > Bitter

                                            > Sad

                                            > impulsive

                                            > highly suggestible

                                            > Probably kinky


                                            > I would love to fuck Appointed Rounds

                                            > But knowing me, we would probably fall in love

                                            > And with my lifestyle she would probably be destroyed by the end of the year.


                                            > I looked at the bottle in my hoof

                                            > It’s half empty.

                                            > I look back at her

                                            > She was close to being completely drunk

                                            > I bet if I let her finish the bottle she would bring me home with her.

                                            > I know she would drink the entire bottle if I dared her

                                            > Pegasi are incredibly easy to manipulate

                                            > All they need is a little push

                                            > Especially ones like her


                                            > Appointed Rounds and I could drink and fuck for months on end

                                            > No responsibilities

                                            > No commitments

                                            > Just a tug of war between what our bodies can handle and our desire to live freely.

                                            >....

                                            > Until she ends up like Dash

                                            > Or worse.


                                            > I closed my eyes and put the bottle to my lips and emptied it with one long chug

                                            > It's probably best if I don't tempt her.

                                            > She's one of the last ponies I can talk to and I don't want to ruin our relationship.

                                            > Though, I'm probably doomed to fall to celibacy induced psychosis soon.

                                            > I feel a sadness beginning to wash over me like a cold, wet blanket draped around my shoulders.


                                            > The wine did nothing but burn my throat and leave a sour taste on my tongue.

                                            > Earth pony tolerance, and years of daily drinking has made it hard for me to get drunk.

                                            > Everyday I start drinking at eight in the morning so I can be drunk by five in the afternoon

                                            > I miss when drinking was fun and not a game of keep up.


                                            > Appointed Rounds leaned her face near my teats

                                            > I could feel her hot breath kissing my nipples


                                            > “I’m…I'm not too old for this am I?”


                                            > I shook my head “no.”


                                            > Her head fell over my belly and she began to nuzzle her cheek over my teats

                                            > The booze was really starting to hit her


                                            > “How old are you Pinkie?”


                                            “I’m twenty.”


                                            > A nervous energy tinged her laughter


                                            > “Well. When I was your age I dated a thirty three year old.”


                                            “Oh yeah?”


                                            > “Mmm hmm…” She cooed


                                            > “He was my first real love. We did things together…But now that I'm older I regret most of it…And her made me feel guilty…I wish I didn’t feel guilty…”


                                            “That's okay. You don’t need to feel bad.”


                                            > “Pinkie. I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t be touching your teats. You're too young."

                                            “AP it’s fine. You 're  just curious. We’re both adults. And neither of us is pressuring one aother to do anything we're not comfortable with.”


                                            > She sniffled and wiped her nose over one of my teats

                                            > “I feel really bad about how everypony treats you. You’re not a slut, you’re a pretty, young mare who needs to be loved. You tricked everypony and made them feel stupid. That's the real reason they’re angry at you.”


                                            “You’re drunk."


                                            > she crawled up my torso and stared into my eyes


                                            > "Don't you see how evil those stallions are? They used you. And when they found out how badly they were fooled they blamed YOU for tempting them. The party was just a convenient excuse to rebalance the status quo. Why do they get to live like nothing happened but you have to live in shame?"


                                            > Strangely enough, she was actually making sense

                                            "What do you think I should do?"


                                            > "I wouldn't do anything different. Just be smarter. Screw those guys who threw you under the bus! They're all perverts anyway."


                                            "But what about my stomach! No pony even wants to look at me anymore!"


                                            > "Pinkie, you're young, pretty and irresistibly charming. If you can't get laid. No pony can. Do you seriously think they don't still lust after you? From what I hear, these Canterlot types are all here in Ponyville to fuck "weird looking mares" They don't care about how you look. It's the social stigma surrounding you that repels them."


                                            “You might actually be onto something…”


                                            > "Listen Pinkie. I'm nearing the age where I won't be desirable anymore. I lost my virginity to a creep when I was young and dumb and now I live alone. The only ponies who respect me are airheads like Derpy and Rainy Days who are too stupid to realize how little I care for them. The world will never let you forget your mistakes. But are you gonna just give up? There's nothing wrong with being a slut."


                                            > Appointed Rounds would never have told me this sober

                                            > But she's right

                                            > I can't stay upset at myself forever

                                            > Thats what they want me to do!

                                            > They want me to stop tempting them because they know they don’t possess the willpower to resist me!


                                            > So what if I have a strings of teats along my tummy?

                                            > I'm Pinkie Pie for Celestia's sake!

                                            > I'm gonna get laid, make some bits, and help Marble with her illness like a good sister should!

                                            > And there's Nopony who's gonna stop me!


                                            > Appointed Rounds began to snore

                                            > She had fallen asleep over my belly

                                            > She probably won’t remember any of this, but she unknowingly saved my life.


                                            Twilight:


                                            > Cloudchaser stood over me, pinning me over my nightstand

                                            > Equipped around her hips is a thick, barbed strap-on she was using against my tail hole

                                            > Digging into my cavity with a violent rhythm

                                            > It hurts so bad

                                            > It feels so good

                                            > Why am I like this?


                                            > "Read it!" She barked


                                            “Dear Princess Celestia…Today I learned that I should always respect my friends…Because…Oh my!"


                                            > I was finding it hard to speak without biting my tongue or losing myself


                                            > “READ IT!” She growled


                                            > She slammed my head into the table

                                            > My cheek pressed against the wood


                                            “Because my friends always…. My friends always have…my back! Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."


                                            > Cloudchaser removed the sex toy from my rear and released me.


                                            > "Unicorns are such treasures." Cloudchaser chuckled "Your entire race is so playfully depraved."


                                            > She collapse onto my bed behind me


                                            > "Sometimes I wish I was a unicorn." She sighed dreamily


                                            > As she rambled, I was struggling to keep my shaking legs from buckling.

                                            > It's hard to pull yourself together with the overpowering thrill of erotic domination pumping through your veins

                                            > Pulling my sprawled chest off the nightstand was proving to be a challenge.


                                            > I leaned my legs into my teats and closed my eyes

                                            > I need a moment of rest

                                            > Just enough time to regain my strength.


                                            > "You alright Twilight? You aren't tapping out early again, are you?"


                                            "Just…Need a minute…" I replied, still winded


                                            > "Fine."


                                            > Behind me, I heard a drawer open

                                            > She was rummaging through my things!


                                            > With my front legs, I pushed my front end up over the nightstand and doozily rested my weight over my front legs

                                            > My vision was faded and little white stars danced in my peripherals


                                            > "You look exhausted."


                                            "I'm fine…I Just need a second to recover."


                                            > My rump was sore, and my body was beat

                                            > But I was having an amazing time with my new, unlikely friend.


                                            > "You look pretty bad, Twilight. If you want, I can slip a couple ice cubes up there." Cloudchaser teased "That always gets you squirming."


                                            "You know, I really enjoy these little sessions we have." I chuckled


                                            > "Me to Twilight."


                                            > I twisted my body backwards and watched her collecting ice cubes from a small bowl

                                            "Not even a minute to rest? I'm still really dizzy and my legs feel like pudding."


                                            > "You'll be fine. By the way, have you made any progress on your investigation?"

                                            > She began teasing my genitals with an ice cube.

                                            > rolling it over my most sensitive parts


                                            "I'd rather not talk about it. I haven't learned anything in days. Are you sure your sources are reliable?"


                                            > "Of course! Why would you even ask such a thing?"


                                            "Because It feels like I'm being run in circles."


                                            > She plopped the ice cube into my butt


                                            "Eep!"


                                            > It was so cold

                                            > I started to wiggle my rear fitfully

                                            > Cloudchaser grabbed my flank and kept it steady as she teased me with another ice cube


                                            "Another one!? Are you crazy!?"

                                            > "Twilight, I have an entire tray." She replied coldly

                                            > I leaned my head over my hoof and stuck a pencil between my teeth.


                                            > The ice felt really good

                                            > Though, incredibly irritating and painful at the same time

                                            > I'm happy Cloudchaser had a change of heart about the potion mix up.


                                            > I need a pony in my life for rough play like this now more than ever

                                            > My idea of pleasure is extreme.

                                            > Even for most unicorns I would be considered kinky.


                                            > I chalk the unicorns unique fetishes up to the fact that we're the only race who know how to craft healing potions.

                                            > We use them for kink related injuries often.

                                            > I hope to one day attend a sex party in Canterlot

                                            > It’s a unicorn right of passage


                                            > I closed my eyes and enjoyed the cold, frustrating pleasure of the ice in my cavity.

                                            > Just as she slid the second ice cube inside me I heard a knock on the front door

                                            > We both stopped


                                            "M.. Maybe they'll go away if we ignore them.”


                                            > “knock, knock, knock”


                                            > "Yo Twilight. I was just on a late night jog and had the best idea!"


                                            > Oh shoot!

                                            > It's Rainbow Dash

                                            > She'll come in through the window if she wants it badly enough.


                                            > I jumped to my hooves

                                            "Cloudchaser, you need to leave!"


                                            > "Why? It's just Dash. Tell her to screw off."


                                            "Because neither of us can afford to be seen like this!"


                                            > I trotted down the stairs, using my magic to lift my teats off the ground.

                                            > The ice in my rump was driving me insane. B

                                            > But for now, I just had to try and ignore it until Dash left

                                            > I hope I can get rid of her quick


                                            > I swung open the door and greeted my friend

                                            "Hey Dash!"

                                            > "Helloooo, Twilight!" She slurred


                                            > Her tracksuit, was torn and covered in mud

                                            > Her mane was a grizzly mess and face was scratched


                                            "Isn't it a little late for an unexpected visit? And what the heck happened to you? You look like you just lost a fight with Manticore."


                                            > "Oh! I crashed. No biggie.”


                                            "Into what? A vase store? You’re covered in scratches!"


                                            > She let herself in and I dropped my teats back onto the ground

                                            > Dash proceeded to make herself at home by going through my kitchen cabinets


                                            > "Sooo….How's your investigation into Filthy Rich going?"

                                            > If one more pony asks me about my investigation to blow a fuse

                                            > It's supposed to be a secret for Celestia's sake!


                                            "It's going fine."


                                            > "That's good. Do you have any more leads?"


                                            "Not at the moment." I replied not hiding the annoyance in my voice


                                            > She pulled a peanut butter and jelly sandwich from my cabinet and started eating it.

                                            > I side stepped my way in front of the radiator and angled my rump towards it with the hopes of melting the ice faster.


                                            > "You know, I was doing some spying on his wife." She said while chewing.


                                            > It was becoming harder to contain my patience


                                            > "So I've heard." I replied between my gritted teeth


                                            > “She’s a real cruel mare. Super uptight. I've been watching her for the past couple days and I noticed a couple interesting things. Firstly, she always has a glass of wine in one hoof and her bratty little filly in the other. Second, She spends money like it grows on trees. She spends hundreds of dollars a day on herself. The only time I see Filthy is when he takes his daughter off her hooves around five in the afternoon. I think that we should plan our mission around then, I have it all planned, first we…"


                                            “I heard you got arrested again.”


                                            > Dash fell quite

                                            > “Wait…You heard about that?”


                                            “Of course! I was the pony who got the call from the police station to bail you out! They said they found you stalking Mrs. Rich and her daughter at the market."


                                            > Dash started to turn red and hung her head

                                            "You know, having a criminal record makes it a lot harder to get into the Wonderbolts.”


                                            > Her eyes flashed across the floor until quickly turning cross


                                            > "Yeah, well..They don't let lots of ponies in the Wonderbolts for tons of reasons." She scoffed

                                            > She ripped into her sandwich and leaned on the counter, smacking her gums obnoxiously loud.


                                            "Not to be rude, but I can think of a couple BIG reasons they wouldn't let you back into the academy. And your reputation isn’t getting any cleaner. Especially when you're pulling stunts that keep getting you arrested."


                                            > She stopped chewing and gave me a side eye


                                            "Look, I'm sorry. But is this really why you came over? To ask me about my investigation? I know you're Eager, but you need to calm down. Trust in me. I told you that I'm working on a plan. But I can't work with you distracting me everyday. When I need you to testify or provide a statement, I’ll let you know.”


                                            > "But Twilight! We need to be mares of action! And I have an amazing idea!”

                                            "And what's that?"

                                            > “The two of us will sneak into Filthy Riches house late at night. Creep around in the shadows  and steal his.. "


                                            > I threw my hoof over her muzzle

                                            "Dash. No…Just…No. We aren't breaking into his house, and we definitely aren’t stealing

                                            anything. If we're going to stop him, we're going to do it lawfully."


                                            > She pushed me backward into the radiator

                                            > My buns cooking over the hot cast iron bars


                                            > She leaned into me, pressing her nose into mine

                                            > "You know what your problem is? You worry too much! But that shouldn't be a problem, because I have the house scoped out real good!”


                                            “I don’t care how well you have the house “scoped out” We aren’t breaking into his house!”


                                            > I pushed her away and looked back at my rump.

                                            > I was only pressed against the radiator for a couple seconds, but the pattern of the metal bars had burned into my cheeks.

                                            > They were bright right red strips


                                            “Oh come on!” I whined

                                            > It hurt like hell, but not in a good way

                                            > I was more annoyed than anything.

                                            > I think Derpy's bad luck is starting to rub off on me…


                                            > “Oh, of course not! It’s so typical that “Princess Twilight Sparkle” Doesn’t want to get her spoiled little Canterlot hooves dirty!”


                                            “Hey!” I shot


                                            > “This isn’t the time to be an egghead! This is a time for action! You have no idea what this is doing to AJ and us. She barely speaks to anypony anymore, She just sits in the window of the farmhouse scanning the apple fields for “agents” and “spies” She’s losing her mind!”


                                            > This was concerning because last time I talked to AJ, she was in a bad way

                                            > She had fortified her house with furniture.

                                            > The house was stripped of any furniture, photos or character.

                                            > Applejack herself looked like she hadn't slept for weeks and was emaciated

                                            > Now she’s having paranoid hallucinations?

                                            > It sounds like she's slipping fast.


                                            "I know this is especially hard on both of you, but I can't be seen stealing things. I'm the princesses most important student ....And more importantly, stealing is wrong!"


                                            > "Then what should we do? Wait for Filthy Rich to find a legal loophole and steal the farm? You know he will! I have every right to defend my home!”


                                            > I put my hoof over my eyes

                                            > I was starting to catch second hoof embarrassment

                                            "Go home Dash, you're drunk."


                                            > “Hmpf! I guess I should have expected to be let down. If you want something done, you gotta do it yourself around here.”

                                            > Dash left the house, but not before kicking my podium over.


                                            > I sighed and returned to my bed upstairs then laid on my back

                                            > I hate friendship.

                                            > Cloudchaser slithered into the room through the window and immediately started groping my teats.


                                            > “Do you smell bacon? I think somethings burning.”


                                            “Shut up.” I spat


                                            > “Soooo? What's Dash doing up this late? Fall off the wagon?" She snickered


                                            "She's anxious about getting back at Mr. Rich, but she's too impatient. I still have so many questions unanswered, and I can’t just act without thinking! If we're going to stop Mr. Rich, we need to be smart."


                                            > I looked back at Cloudchaser who was laying next to me on the bed, tapping her feathers one by one along the nightstand

                                            > "Sooooo…What is your plan?"


                                            "As of now I'm focusing my time on sedating all highly degenerate mares in town. I convinced the mayor to experiment with chastity cages as a substitute for prison.”


                                            *I can’t believe I’m writing this kek*


                                            “It's cheaper and promotes rehabilitation. I hope by depriving ponies of their sexual desires I can wipe out the producer's customer base. I've had the misfortune of seeing what long term chastity cages do to ponies first hoof."


                                            > "And Filthy Rich?"


                                            "That's where my bigger problem lies. I still don't know what he's up to. Is he involved with the underground milk business? Or is he up to something even more nefarious? I have no leads and all the pressure is falling on me! And I don't even want to think about what Celestia will do to me if I fail her again."


                                            > Cloudchaser nodded

                                            > "Twilight, I've been spying on Mr. Rich for weeks now, and from what I've seen, he's not up to anything. He loves his family, treats his workers ethically…In fact I think he's more moral than you and your band of degenerate friends."


                                            "Trust me. I know where me and my friends stand. I didn't want Pinkie to be the first pony I had to cage, but there really isn't any other pony in town worse than her."


                                            > "Except you."


                                            "Don't play that card. I already feel guilty enough. And besides, I play out sexual fantasies with a single partner, behind closed doors and feel reasonably disgusted with myself. Pinkie on the other hoof, was creating a moral outrage with her antics.”


                                            > "Justify it all you like, But I’m sure all the little details guilt about this will come out during our next “therapy session” She coughed “Your true feelings tend to reveal themselves during the most shameful moments of our playtime. I assume it's part of the humiliation fetish?” She teased wiping her hoof across the cheek cursed me.


                                            “I’m a complicated mare.”


                                            > She grabbed and ice cube and slowly shoved it inside me

                                            > I squirmed erratically as it entered my tail-hole

                                            > It burned my insides and caused my heart to race

                                            > Once it was inside of me she grabbed another and repeated the process.


                                            > “Perhaps Filthy Rich isn't a problem. I mean…He hasn't done anything wrong, has he?"


                                            "No…But anypony who tries to keep secrets is up to something. He wants to steal the farm from Applejack!"


                                            > "But don't we all have secrets? What gives you the right to pry?" She said plopping a third ice cube inside me


                                            "I'm the moral authority! It's the duty bestowed upon me by the Princess! I didn’t want it!"


                                            > "But you're doing so well!" She cheered in an overly sarcastic tone "From where I'm standing, the moral authority of Ponyville has ice cubes melting in her butt while her mistress massages her fat, oversized teats. If you were ANY justice you would cage yourself.”

                                            "You don't understand. I need to do this. If I wanna keep my head I need an avenue to de-stress…My coping mechanism is just intense….fetish play "


                                            > Even saying those words aloud made me feel sick

                                            > I'm a sick pony


                                            > "Well, as of right now I have no leads. Perhaps if my funding was a little more liberal I could point you in the right direction."


                                            > She always does this!

                                            "Have you ever heard of "Doing the right thing because it's the right thing to do?" Because that's how you should be approaching this problem." I lectured


                                            > "It's a great concept." She nodded


                                            > ….


                                            > I grabbed my pen and paper and sighed  "What do you want this time?"


                                            > "Hmmm….How about you make me a lactation potion?"


                                            > I looked beyond my paper "You know I can't make those spells anymore."


                                            > "Come on! For old times sake! You want my information, don't you?"

                                            > She grabbed an ice cube and rubbed it over my nipple


                                            > I didn't want to do this, but I really had no choice

                                            > It's a deal with the devil that I’m forced to take


                                            "Fine. I'll make you another potion. But I feel pressed to ask why you'd want one,”


                                            > "Twilight, I live in the Everfree, it's not like I'm interacting with the public on any meaningful level. Consider it a favor for a friend." She smiled


                                            "Fine. But I want the information up front.”


                                            > "All I'll say is that if you want to start looking for clues, I would explore Old Ponyville."


                                            "Why? What's in Old Ponyville?"


                                            > "I'm not entirely sure." She chuckled


                                            > I could tell she was biting her tongue, but there's really nothing I can do.

                                            > She knows I need her and I have zero leverage over her except my power to buy her things and cast magic

                                            > She's milking me for all I've got

                                            > Some ponies never change…


                                            > I opened the ancient breast potion book to started to read up on how to craft the elixir.


                                            > Her information was making me curious.

                                            > Somehow, everything in this town leads Old Ponyville

                                            > My localized breast hypothesis

                                            > Mr. Rich

                                            > The strange magic

                                            > I'll have to make my way to Old Ponyville as soon as possible.


                                            Derpy:


                                            > "I see you around town sometimes." Redheart said snuffing her cigarette into the growing pile of butts in the ashtray.

                                            > "And when we pass on the street I can't help but wonder if this was all part of some strange plan of yours. Did you ask Twilight to give her boobs on her chest? I mean. I wouldn't put it past you."


                                            > She leaned in and have me a strange look


                                            "S..Sorry? I don’t follow?"


                                            > She rolled her eyes and leaned her head over her hoof

                                            > "It's a simple question Derpy. Did you go to Twilight with the express purpose of having her magically stick boobs on your chest for some sort of…fetish reason?"


                                            "What? No! I…I would never…I was having chest pain and Twilight made me a potion…It was a mistake."


                                            > "Chest pain eh? You should have gone to the hospital." She replied bluntly

                                            > "You could have been showing early signs of heart failure."


                                            > I threw my hoof between my teats over my heart .

                                            "Do you think so!?"


                                            > "It's not outside the realm of possibility. After all, mares your size have a nasty habit of organ failure."


                                            > I pulled my hoof from my heart and grabbed a generous slice of my loose belly fat

                                            > I’ve never been a thin mare

                                            > Even in flight school I was bulkier than all the other fillies

                                            > But this was definitely the biggest I’ve ever been


                                            > When I was younger I could eat anything I wanted

                                            > My body is betraying me

                                            > I’ve always heard of ponies talking about exercising and dieting, but I never thought I’d ever have to do such things.

                                            > The idea of not being able to eat what I want scares me

                                            > I’m getting older.

                                            > And I don’t like it.


                                            “I’ve gained a little weight…But I’m not fat.


                                            > the two mares laughed

                                            > “You could put a ship to shame with that gut!” Redheart jabbed


                                            > My eye fell back down to my stomach

                                            > She was right

                                            > I’m fat

                                            > A stupid, fat pony who can’t control herself.


                                            “I admit that I’m a little tubby…but I don’t think it’s that bad. Stallions like chubby mares right?”


                                            > "Sure Derpy." Cheerilee replied sarcastically “I dedicate hours of work to keep myself looking young for no reason, what I really should be doing is eating whatever I want! Does that make any sense, Derpy?”


                                            “Well…No…But…I…I don’t think…”


                                            > A part of me wanted to tell Cheerilee that she’s right, but that would be an admittance that I’m wrong.

                                            > And if I admit I’m wrong, then I would have to acknowledge the fact that I’m getting older

                                            > But I don’t feel older.

                                            > I thought life was already hard! Why am I suddenly expected to eat food I don’t like?

                                            > And why does she feel the need to attack me for eating poorly?

                                            > It’s my decision!


                                            > I threw my hooves over my ears and closed my eyes

                                            “It's just so hard. Life is hard. I wish things were simple.”


                                            > When I opened my eyes and saw Redheart and Cheerilee laughing

                                            > My stomach began to churn

                                            > I was starting to feel sick from embarrassment


                                            > “I just want to say that I’m happy I came out with you two tonight.” Redheart began


                                            > “Don’t mention it!” Cheerilee nodded “I love hanging out with you! I may be a little older than both of you, but it feels good hanging out with twenty year olds. It reminds me of my college days.”


                                            > Redheart shrugged “You two really are stuck in different times. The reason I’m happy to spend an afternoon with you two, is because I might actually get laid! Between you and Derpy, I’m a perfect ten!”


                                            > Cheerilee’s eye twitched but she still had a smile, albeit a wiggling one.

                                            > “What are you implying Redheart?”


                                            > “Well, you know…You’re old. And like, no offense but you’ve already dated most of the stallions in town. You said yourself that most of them aren’t up to your standards anyways.”


                                            > “Yeah…I did say that.”


                                            > Cheerilee looked like she was going to snap Redhearts neck and would feel nothing of it

                                            > I’m the last pony to hear about town happenings, but even I know that Cheerilee has never dumped another pony.

                                            > Usually the the stallion she’s with ends up leaving her for being too desperate.


                                            > I dropped my eye to my food

                                            > Insecurity about my looks was starting to hit me hard

                                            > Across from me, nurse Redheart picked away at her salad while Cheerilee enjoyed a margarita and an avocado, corn wrap.


                                            > I don’t know much about healthy food

                                            > I grew up eating lots of cereal and waffles

                                            > I bet if I told Redheart that she would probably say cereal and waffles are unhealthy

                                            > But what does she know?

                                            > She’s just a bully.


                                            > I picked up a pancake, rolled it into a tube and shoved the entire thing in my mouth then watered it down with lemonade.


                                            > But maybe Redhearts right?

                                            > What if the food I ordered isn’t good for me?

                                            > It's so hard to tell.

                                            > When everypony always has something critical to say I can’t tell if they’re being mean or sincere.

                                            > I'm gonna make myself sick


                                            > Why does unhealthy food taste so good?

                                            > A pancake is just dough and syrup.

                                            > Syrup comes from trees, and trees are supposed to be good, right?

                                            > My stomach began to rumble

                                            > I can feel myself getting fatter

                                            > I grabbed a pancake, dipped it in syrup, wrapped it into a tube and ate it.


                                            > I don't like how ponies treat me.

                                            > Why can't they be more supportive of me?

                                            > I'm cursed with so many ailments

                                            > I should be applauded every time I get out of bed

                                            > I mean, I try my best to be a normal pony, but it's so hard!

                                            > I grabbed a pancake, dipped it in syrup, wrapped it into a tube and ate it.


                                            > I hate being an adult

                                            > I hate not being happy

                                            > I hate not understanding why I’m not happy

                                            > I hate being fat

                                            > I hate these stupid boobs on my chest

                                            > I hate that Twilight never visits me when I'm sad.

                                            > I grabbed a pancake, dipped it into the bowl of  syrup and ate it.


                                            > Everypony is so smart except for me!

                                            > And Fluttershy has the nerve to cry to ME about her problems!?

                                            > Fluttershy has nothing to cry about!

                                            > I'm the pony with all the problems!

                                            > I'm gonna run away from this town!

                                            > I'll move to the forest and be self-sufficient!

                                            > I'll show them!

                                            > I'm a Pegasi!

                                            > I'm healthy!

                                            > I'm best pony!

                                            > I'm…I'm…I'm!

                                            > …

                                            > I'm out of pancakes.


                                            > I looked back up at Redheart who shook her head and rolled her eyes.

                                            > My face turned red and I wiped syrup from my lips.

                                            > I shot them a toothy smile, but I guarantee they can tell how nervous I really am.

                                            > Panic attacks…


                                            > I’m so uncomfortable that I can feel my cheeks burning and sweat rolling down my forehead

                                            > My teats are spitting milk like fire hoses and I’m sure that jars are gonna fill soon if I don’t calm down.


                                            > "How can you not see you're an earth pony? A Pegasi requires a lean, low gluten and disciplined diet. You're sitting here feasting on a meal consisting of nothing but sugar, fat and empty calories. You're a disaster! Plus, you smell like a dumpster fire. For fuck sake Derpy, how old are you?"


                                            “Twenty.”


                                            > “When I was your age I was in university. Do you have ANY plans for your future?”


                                            “I don’t know…I guess I wanna open my own delivery company….Like, a proper one with an office and stuff..”


                                            > “Derpy, you can’t even do basic addition, how are you gonna run a delivery service?”


                                            “I know I’m not the best at math…But I think I’m okay…”


                                            > “Derpy, what's seven plus eight?”


                                            >...


                                            “S..Seven plus eight?”


                                            > “Yeah. Seven. Plus. Eight.”


                                            >...


                                            “Well..Ummm….First you take the fives and add them up and get…Ten. Then add a three and you get…thirteen then you add….hmmmmm…two? Yeah! Then you add the two from the seven to the thirteen and that's like…fourteen? Or something?”


                                            >...


                                            > “Derpy, I don’t know what's more shocking. Your math, or your delusions. You know what Forget the math. Your entire idea of self is backwards and you refuse to admit any of your flaws. I don’t think you’re as innocent as you everypony believes. Beneath your innocent exterior you're a mentally unwell, overly sheltered, narcissist.”


                                            “That's not true! You’re just being mean!”

                                            > “It's just a theory.” She shrugged “I’m a medical doctor not a psychologist.”


                                            > Redheart returned to her food, looking satisfied with herself.

                                            > I feel nothing but hurt

                                            > Everypony I talk to has only cruel things to say.


                                            > A couple minutes of silence passed until Cheerilee suddenly jumped back to life

                                            > She drove her elbow into Redhearts chest and pointed her hoof behind me


                                            > “Look at him!"


                                            > I turned in my seat and saw a tall unicorn stallion being escorted into a booth.

                                            > I'd never seen him before, but he was dressed really fancy.

                                            > In his company were two mares dressed in sparkling red and blue dresses

                                            > The stallion was older, closer to Cheerilees age but the mares he was with looked to like they were around eighteen.


                                            > “I wouldn’t mind going home with THAT tonight.” Cheerilee said licking her lips

                                            > They leaned over the table and stared at the stallion, practically drooling.


                                            "He…He is pretty handsome…"

                                            > My teats began to discharge and I had a small orgasm in my seat which caused me to fidget.


                                            > “Yeah, but he’s a Canterlot unicorn." Redheart sighed "He probably wouldn't be caught dead with three "low class" Earth ponies like us.”


                                            > They fell back into their seats and sighed

                                            > Redheart took another drag from her cigarette.


                                            > “After spending six years in med school, I was hoping the nurses union would locate me to a superstar city like Vanhoover or Manehattan. Not Ponyville.” she spat


                                            “W…What's wrong with Ponyville?” I asked as the orgasm sizzled away


                                            > “Nothing. If you like living in poverty and having your pool of potential mates being peasant stock.”


                                            > Cheerliee nodded in agreement “I think I’d do great in a place like Canterlot. I’m an educated mare after all.”


                                            > Nurse Redheart rolled her eyes and laughed

                                            > “Educated mare? You!? You do know you’re talking to a pony with six years of medical training, right? You’re just a primary school teacher! Don’t throw around the phrase “educated mare” When you refer to yourself. You’ll render the term useless.”


                                            > “But I am an educated mare! Just because I never went to university doesn’t mean I’m a rube.”


                                            > Redheart rolled her eyes again and looked at me “What about you Derp. Where did you go to school?”


                                            > I felt a jolt of fear jump up my spine and my heart skipped

                                            > I hate talking about school. Whether it's about my past in flight school, or my lack of interest in pursuing education now.

                                            > It just makes me feel guilty.


                                            “Well…I went to school for a couple years…” I tapped the tips of my hooves together anxiously and looked away


                                            > “Yeah, where?” She asked impatiently


                                            “Flight school…Until I was fourteen….Then I stopped going."


                                            > “Flight school? Wait, are you telling me You didn't even finish high school?"


                                            “No….I never even went to high school….Is…Is that bad?”


                                            > They both looked shocked

                                            > Cheerilee dropped her wrap and Redheart shook her head in disbelief


                                            > “Derpy, how are you even allowed to work!? You need at least a high school diploma to get a job nowadays."


                                            > “Well…If I'm being honest, I don't have any friends besides Twilight who went to college….And they're doing fine. My dad got me the post office job…”


                                            > “Nepotism.” Cheerilee huffed while collecting the avocado sludge off her plate and packing it back into her tortilla.


                                            “What does that mean?”


                                            > The two mares laughed

                                            > Nurse Redheart put out her cigarette and offered me her hoof.

                                            > I grabbed it limply


                                            > “Derpy, I need you to take me very seriously.”

                                            > I nodded

                                            > “Go back to school. Go to college and get an easy diploma. Choose something stupid like Baking or animal care. With a diploma you can get a job. It probably won't be a well paying job. Or even a dignified job. But a job that will allow you to have some sort independent life "


                                            > I pulled my hoof away and she wiped her hoof on Cheerilees shoulder.


                                            “Fluttershy and I are going to open an animal sanctuary….Or something…I don't really understand…. But that's going to be my job…If the delivery service doesn’t work.”


                                            > "Derpy. I'm sorry to break it to you. But you and Fluttershy are two of the poorest ponies in town. I’m sorry, but an animal sanctuary is out of the cards.”


                                            "N..No…That's not true….Fluttershy has a big cottage and lots of land! I would rather live there than some crowded apartment like you.:


                                            > She raised her hoof

                                            > "Let me finish."


                                            > I crossed my legs over my chest teats

                                            > "As far as I know, Fluttershy has never had a job. She sits on her ass all day and collects disability. I feel bad for Fluttershy, honestly. She has a severe case of…. Marshmallow bones. The layman's term for a condition found in poorly developed Pegasi. I know about the severity of her condition because she comes into my office all the time with injuries and to collect her MANY prescriptions. It's not her fault, but she's simply unfit for employment. You on the other hoof run an illegal delivery service and have no education. How do you two expect to open an animal sanctuary on those budgets?"


                                            > Great. More math questions…


                                            > "All your friends are broke. Pinkie. Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy. Do you really think associating with those types of ponies elevates you?"


                                            "I bet I make more than you!" I blurted


                                            > Redheart chuckled and leaned back in her seat

                                            > She looked so smug

                                            > I bet she was waiting all night for her to ask about how much she makes


                                            > “Oh yeah? how much do you make a month?”


                                            “A thousand bits a month.” I said nodding my head


                                            > They both laughed

                                            > “Derpy! Don't lie!” Cheerilee jabbed

                                            > "Yeah! That's what bad ponies do." Redheart chuckled, "Don't make me punish you!" She teased

                                            > I should never have said a word about my Twilight fantasy.


                                            > “I never took you for a liar.” Redheart said in a serious tone.


                                            “I'm not a liar! You’re just a bully! You think you’re SO great because you went to school!"


                                            > “Is that supposed to be an insult? That I have a degree? What's your point? Thanks to my hard work I won’t be flipping hay burgers all my life like you and the rest of your friends. If you can even get a job flipping hay burgers without your high school anymore.” she chuckled


                                            > She took a drag from a cigarette and flicked the ashes into Cheerlies wrap, which she was still struggling to fold.

                                            > "You're too funny Derpy." She sighed


                                            > I looked down at my food

                                            > She's right

                                            > I have no money, education.

                                            > I don’t even own a house anymore.


                                            > But I do have one thing she never will

                                            > Four pairs of teats that never stop leaking!


                                            “Redheart, Do you produce milk?”


                                            > Her eyes widened

                                            > “What did you just ask me?”


                                            “I bet my milk tastes better than yours.” I teased, jiggling my chest breasts up and down


                                            > “What are you talking about you little weirdo?”

                                            > I pulled my bra down and exposed my right teat

                                            > The suction cup dislodged and milk started to pour onto the table


                                            > “Put that away!" Redheart snapped in a very serious tone.

                                            > I ran my hoof along the ridge of my nipple.

                                            > When it was covered in enough milk I stuck my entire hoof into my mouth.

                                            > They looked disgusted


                                            > I slurped the milk off my hoof and when I pulled it from my mouth it was covered in milk and spit.


                                            > I pointed my spit covered hoof towards them

                                            "You wanna taste?"

                                            > They looked furious, but I didn’t care.


                                            > They can keep their education

                                            > Who needs math and history when you have the best milk in Ponyville?


                                            > My sudden confidence was quickly turning to shame as I felt the eyes of other customers begin to fall on us


                                            > Redheart jumped up from her seat and Cheerilee followed

                                            > “You know, I was trying to give you a chance. But everypony is right. You really are just a pathetic freak.”


                                            > The room went quiet and all eyes were on us now

                                            > I wiped my hoof on the table cloth

                                            > My eye bounced around the room at the disgusted expressions


                                            “Redheart….I'm sorry…I crossed the line. Please sit down.”


                                            > “You're sorry? You know, I was actually considering removing those things off your chest but you can keep them. Seeing how proud of them you are.”


                                            “Nurse, please…” I cried

                                            > I reached out towards her but she staggered backward


                                            > “Stay away from me Derpy. I’m not joking around either. Being seen with you has already hurt my reputation enough.”

                                            > The two mares stormed out of the restaurant looking angry and embarrassed and all eyes were now on me

                                            > I don’t think I could imagine a more embarrassing situation

                                            > I feel like a fool

                                            > Why did I do that?

                                            > I was just so angry!

                                            > Me and my impulses…


                                            > Panic attacks…


                                            > As Cheerilee and Redheart left the room the other ponies slowly stopped staring and quietly went back to their dinner.

                                            > All except one.


                                            > Across the cafe sat a pale mare with a puffy green mane who continued to stare

                                            > She had a pair of sewing needles dug into pink fabric between her hooves

                                            > She looked like she had just seen a ghost.


                                            > I adjusted my bra and looked away but her eyes were locked.

                                            > She slowly put her sewing needles into her purse and looked around the cafe anxiously before approaching me.


                                            > "Ummm…Hi."  The pale mare stammered

                                            "H…Hi.." I stuttered

                                            > Was I in trouble?

                                            > Who is this pony?

                                            > And why is she so jittery?


                                            > "My name's Coco…I've been admiring you from across the cafe since I sat down."

                                            "Oh….Ummmm…Thanks?"


                                            > She has an accent similar to Aloe and Lotus, but with slight differences I can’t put my hoof on.

                                            > “It doesn't matter what those other mares say. I think you’re pretty just the way you are.”


                                            >......

                                            "Thanks?"


                                            > "Can I take a seat?"


                                            > Before I could answer she grabbed the closest chair next to me

                                            > “You have a very beautiful form.”


                                            “Y…You think so?"


                                            > Her eyes ran up and down my body


                                            > “Do you mind if I rub your stomach?”


                                            >....


                                            “I..I guess not? Why would you…"


                                            > she carefully dragged her hooves over my stomach


                                            > I craned my head backwards

                                            “Is this some kind of trick?”


                                            > “Trick? No…How could this be a trick?”


                                            “I don’t know…You're probably going to make fun of me…”


                                            > “Why would I tease such an adorable little mare?”


                                            “I don’t know, it's just that….


                                            >...


                                            "Wait. You think I’m adorable?”


                                            > “Not only that. I think you’re perfect.” She nodded


                                            > I looked down at my stomach which was pressed against the edge of the table

                                            “I’m not…Fat am I?”


                                            > “Heavens no! In fact, I think it would do you some good if you gain a couple more pounds.”


                                            “Gain more? But…But Nurse Redheart said…”


                                            > She put her hoof over my lips and rubbed my belly


                                            > “I think you look beautiful.” She hummed "Don't let anypony tell you otherwise."


                                            > I don't trust this mare

                                            “Yeah? Well…N…Not many ponies tell me that.”


                                            > “That's because most ponies don't appreciate true beauty." She shot


                                            > My belly started to growl


                                            > “You sound hungry. I can feed you if you like!” She said excitedly


                                            “Feed me?”


                                            > Coco nodded and grabbed a piece of sugar toast from my plate.

                                            > She drenched it in syrup then sprinkled extra sugar and cinnamon powder over the top.

                                            > She brought the soggy piece of bread to my mouth and I took a bite.


                                            > “Is it good?”

                                            "Mmmmm…..So good….” I moaned

                                            > She picked up another piece and began dabbing it in syrup and smothering it in butter.

                                            > She fed me for a couple minutes.


                                            "You know…Pegasi aren't supposed to be fat."

                                            >Coco laughed to herself

                                            > "Before I moved to Equestria, I'd never even seen a pegasi. To me, you're no less of a Pegasi than any of the others I've met "

                                            "You're not from Equestria?"


                                            > "No, my family moved here from Germareny."


                                            *Again. I can’t believe I’m writing this*


                                            "Germareny? That place sounds made up!…And…Poorly named.”


                                            > Coco chuckled

                                            > "It's an earth pony kingdom bordering Prance. I was born in Prance, but that's a whole nother story.” She giggled


                                            > “Germareny is a lovely place….I also used to live in Manehattan quiet recently, but things became a little difficult."


                                            “It sounds like you’ve been everywhere. Why did you move to Equestria?"


                                            > "Well, after the war Germareny kinda fell apart. Our family moved here to escape persecution."


                                            "What do you mean by persecution? Were you being treated unfairly?"


                                            > "Not exactly. If we stayed we would probably have been charged for war crimes…."


                                            "There was a war?" I gasped


                                            > She stopped rubbing my belly and looked up and away for a moment

                                            > "It doesn't really matter actually….All you need to know is that my family owns a chemical plant, and during the years of the war we made lots of money selling it to the government. When the war ended we were a part of the lucky few who escaped trial."


                                            "Tria!l?"


                                            > "I think I've said too much…" she muttered

                                            > I started to laugh


                                            > "What's so funny?"


                                            "I feel that way all the time!" I giggled "Sometimes I never know when to stop talking!"


                                            > Coco started to Laugh along with me

                                            > “I’m sorry, I feel like a fool.” She replied

                                            “Don’t be sorry!” I laughed


                                            > She looked up at me for a moment then away again

                                            > "It's so refreshing to meet a pony who's so honest."


                                            "Same to you." I nodded


                                            > What's your name?”


                                            “Derpy…..Or Muffins. Whichever you like.”


                                            > Her ears pointed to the sky and she smiled

                                            > She continued to slather the sugar toast in cinnamon and sugar then fed it to me.

                                            > I don’t know why she was feeding me, I’m quite capable of feeding myself

                                            > But it feels nice.


                                            "So you've never seen a Pegasi until you moved to Equestria?"


                                            > "Nope! They were the first to go actually." She smiled


                                            "Where did they go?"


                                            > "Ummmm…Ooooo…Thats a tough question…Well…I guess the BEST way to say this is that where I’m from, all the pegasi went to camp…And they never returned."


                                            "Must be a fun camp." I giggled


                                            > "Can we change the subject now?" She asked looking over her shoulders


                                            "I guess…."


                                            > “Tell me about these." She said pointing to my chest breasts.


                                            > "I’ve been staring at them all night and you still haven't said a word about them.”


                                            “Well…I’m kinda embarrassed by them.”


                                            > “You didn’t seem embarrassed earlier.”


                                            > I turned red

                                            “I was angry.” I grumbled


                                            > “I understand…Sometimes I get angry and I think about doing things I shouldn’t.”


                                            “Like what?”


                                            > Coco started to laugh nervously

                                            > “This really isn’t first date talk.”


                                            “Please. I won’t judge you.”


                                            > “Well…I have lots of fantasies…You see, I’ve always wanted to….” She trailed off for a moment


                                            > “I’ve always wanted to have complete control over another pony.”


                                            >...


                                            “You and my marefriend would get along great!” I joked

                                            "She's always trying to boss me around."


                                            > “Oh! I didn’t know you were in a relationship.”


                                            > She looked sad by this


                                            “No! It’s fine! I haven’t spoken to anypony new in a long time…This is nice.”


                                            > She smiled at me

                                            > “You’re too kind.”


                                            > “Since we're being open and honest, I feel obligated to tell you something about myself."


                                            “What is it?”


                                            > She leaned towards me and went into a whisper

                                            > "My political leanings may seem a little unorthodox in these parts. I just feel like I should warn you. I don't expect you to understand, but nopony this side of the Celestial Sea knows what's happening in Prance, Germareny or any of the other kingdoms. The world beyond Equestrias borders is very different. I don't expect you to understand….But we did what we thought was right. And I would do it all over again if I could. I just hope this doesn't taint your feelings about me. I'm sorry I'm being vague but it’s not safe to discuss these things in the open air.”


                                            > What the heck is she talking about?

                                            > I bet she’s just being dramatic!


                                            "Coco, I've only known you for a couple minutes, but you're the first pony I’ve met in forever who doesn't judge me for how I look. I would never judge you for your past. How bad could it possibly be anyways?"

                                            > She shot me a smile and I smiled back

                                            "I'm happy you see me as a Pegasi. It seems that not many ponies do anymore. And I don't care about what other ponies may say about your past. I think you're great."


                                            > "Thanks. That means a lot. Most ponies aren't as accepting as you. I hope one day I can move back home…Also, I just wanna say that you’re one of the good ones.”


                                            “I am?”


                                            > “I can tell already. Most Pegasi aren’t like you."


                                            "But you said you don't know many Pegasi."


                                            > "That's true. But I know their schemes…." Her voice trailed off and her face turned sour.


                                            “You're strange." I chuckled


                                            > She smiled and began decorating another piece of sugar toast


                                            "So why did you move away from Manhattan?"


                                            > "No reason. Just…. Finances really."


                                            "I'm sorry to hear that Coco."


                                            > "It’s fine! Ponies can be very judgemental in Manehattan anyway. I don't want to speak Ill of my friends in the city, but most don't understand me. They pretend they do, but they don't. I can see it in their eyes. They all think I'm crazy."


                                            “I don’t think you’re crazy.”


                                            > “Well, we seem to agree on everything.” She laughed, “Maybe you’re just as crazy as I am?”

                                            > I nodded  in agreement “Maybe…”


                                            > I leaned back in my chair and we locked eyes

                                            > She's so nice

                                            > She accepts me for who I am

                                            > I’m starting to feel tingly


                                            > Is this true love!?

                                            > I mean…I thought I felt true love with Twilight

                                            > Then with Fluttershy…

                                            > Maybe…

                                            > Oh my gosh!

                                            > Maybe true love can happen a bunch of times!

                                            > I think I found another true love in Coco!


                                            "Would it be crazy to say that I really like you?"


                                            > I put my hoof over her hoof and she froze.


                                            > "Muffins…Where I'm from, hoof holding in public is viewed as obscene." She whispered


                                            > I pulled my hoof away.

                                            "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to…."

                                            > She dropped her hoof over mine

                                            > "No, I like it." She replied slyly


                                            > Our eyes were tangled

                                            > I couldn’t stop staring

                                            > She’s beautiful…


                                            > The waiter came over and grabbed our empty plates

                                            > Coco practically jump from her seat in excitement


                                            > "Sir, can you fetch us a bottle of your finest wine and a plate of french toast with extra maple syrup?"


                                            > The waiter nodded and walked away


                                            > Coco leaned in close and rubbed my hoof


                                            > "So tell me Muffins. How does it feel being the most beautiful pony I've ever laid eyes on?"


                                            Pinkie:


                                            > I buttoned up my shirt, tossed the bottle to the ground and shook Appointed Rounds from her sleep.

                                            > She had given me a lot to think about before she passed out

                                            > Appointed Rounds was right.

                                            > I need to capitalize on my talents!

                                            > I’m gonna make it.

                                            > I’m going to have be the biggest slut Ponyville has ever seen

                                            > But I’m gonna make it.


                                            > “Why’d you wake me?” Appointed Rounds grumbled

                                            > “It’s time to go. We have a post office to rob.”


                                            > Appointed Rounds staggered across the street, I followed close behind carrying her bra.

                                            > Appointed Rounds used a key which she swiped from the post office before she was escorted out for stealing.

                                            > She often joked that it was her severance gift.


                                            > There’s no security inside the post office so we were free to tread freely as long as we stayed away from any windows.

                                            > Appointed Rounds went through the employee lockers like she always did.

                                            > When she was through raiding the lockers she moved on to opening random letters for money.


                                            > I made my to the very back of the sorting room

                                            > It was dark and I could barely see where I was going. But after doing this for an entire week, I had the place mapped out in my head pretty well now.

                                            > I went through the local “outs” cubbies looking for letters addressed to Applejack, The Cakes, and Fluttershy.


                                            > I pocketed their mail and left the room like I was never even there

                                            > When I went to collect AP, she had a ziplock bag full of stolen Bits


                                            > “Look what I got!” She bragged


                                            > I raised her bra over my head and smiled

                                            “Oh yeah? Look what I got!”

                                            > Her face dropped and she started swiping her hooves in my face


                                            > “Give me that back!”

                                            > I chuckled and passed her the brassiere

                                            > Seems like somepony is getting used to her teats without even realizing.


                                            > After we left the post office, I walked her to the edge of town


                                            “You can find your way home from here right?”


                                            > “Yeah, it's just a mile and a bit down this road…If you want, you can come to my place for the night. I’ve got lots of alcohol and some bottles of that “Best Pony” milk thats been going around…If you're into that sort of thing.”


                                            > It wasn’t that I didn’t like Appointed Rounds

                                            > She’s just SO old

                                            > Imagine being twenty seven

                                            > BLECH!

                                            > Also, she isn’t blue which is kind of a deal breaker for me.”


                                            “Sorry AP, maybe next time?”

                                            > She nodded and set off down the street


                                            > I walked back into town. But not to sleep.

                                            > I’m gonna make lots of money!

                                            > I popped into the Ponyville Drinking Fountain

                                            > A middle/upper class bar in downtown Ponyville

                                            > I ordered myself a couple shots then looked around the room


                                            > There were lots of stallions at the bar.

                                            > Many were Canterlot ponies looking to score with the locals

                                            > In my mind's eye, I could see a lot of mares getting rich off these gaudy stallions.

                                            > I picture some eighteen year old trust fund stallion getting hitched up with a random Ponyville mare because he wanted to spend a night with one of us “weird looking mares with giant teats.”

                                            > It makes me giggle just thinking about it.


                                            > If I got pregnant by one of these stallions, I would be set for life

                                            > But I would make bank for eighteen years!

                                            > If I’m gonna be serious about being a full time slut, I should start reconsidering the importance of condoms.


                                            > Maybe it's just the alcohol talking…

                                            > I mean, it's about time!

                                            > I’ve only been drinking since seven in the morning

                                            > But sadly, I was now out of money.


                                            > I slid my hoof down the counter and grabbed a stallion by the hoof

                                            > He spun in his seat looking a tad annoyed

                                            “Why don’t you buy me a drink?” I suggested “I’ll pay you back.” I winked


                                            > The stallion rolled his eyes

                                            > “Oh, Celestia no!”


                                            “Wha…Why not?”

                                            > “Why would I wanna put my penis anywhere near a home-wrecking, cloven hoofed, multi breasted, pig pony?”


                                            “I don’t know…..It's hot?” I shot him a toothy, nervous smile

                                            > He stared at me looking unimpressed


                                            > I pulled my coat down and flashed him one of my teats

                                            > He sighed and pulled out his wallet

                                            > “How much?”


                                            "How about…Twenty bits for an hour?"


                                            > The stallion chuckled "I’d rather you kept the coat on. But I’m willing to part with ten bits for a blowjob in the washroom.”


                                            >...


                                            "Fine." I sighed


                                            > I'm starting to worry that I'll never be rutted again.


                                            Fluttershy:


                                            > I laid in bed feeling more lost than ever

                                            > Selling Muffin’s milk has brought me to the level of a degenerate criminal.

                                            > A milk supplier who has found herself in too deep with the criminal underworld.


                                            > This is how it starts, they ask for "favours" from me.

                                            > Then, when I know too much they'll have me…

                                            > I don't even want to think about that right now.


                                            > At the moment, I still have control of the situation

                                            > I have Muffins.

                                            > I have Milky

                                            > I can push through this.


                                            > But as of right now, I need to relieve some stress.

                                            > A part of me wishes Muffins was in bed with me

                                            > But another part feels like this time away is probably for the best


                                            > Life with Muffins is proving to be more difficult than I initially thought it would be

                                            > I’m not dumb

                                            > I knew that once she moved in it wouldn't be all sunshine and sweets.


                                            > When I met her in flight school I could immediately tell that Muffins is an emergency friendship situation who is in desperate need of a friend before it's too late.


                                            > It's been twelve years since we met, and I still feel that same pity for her.

                                            > I can't help but feel bad for ponies like her

                                            > I'm the element of kindness after all, it's in my nature

                                            > And a pony can never be too kind, can they?


                                            > My parents seem to think so…

                                            > They never liked any of my friends growing up because they only saw the worst in them

                                            > Rainbow Dash was a troublemaker, Muffins was a burden and Pinkie was a flirt who was going to “turn me gay” with her earth pony promiscuity.


                                            > The ponies in Cloudsdale have strange ideas when it comes to homosexuality.

                                            > Its not accepted like it is in the rest of Equestria

                                            > In fact, it's discouraged and shamed.

                                            > Some ponies take it super seriously and think its a curse

                                            > Dashes parents are like that.

                                            > It's part of the reason she moved to Ponyville.


                                            > Earth Ponies get mocked by the other races for being dirty and primitive

                                            > But their villages are safe havens for ponies who would otherwise be discriminated against

                                            > They are the most accepting race because of their love of lovemaking.

                                            > My parents share the earth pony mentality, but their overprotectiveness of me blinded them when it came to my friends.


                                            > None of my friends grew up in a healthy household like I did.

                                            > Muffins dad was an awful parent because he never set boundaries and let her do whatever she wanted out of fear of losing her.

                                            > Pinkie lived on a rock farm most of entire life and never had the opportunity to meet other ponies.

                                            > And Dash's parents tried so hard to push her into being something she wasn’t she collapsed.


                                            > I've spent my entire life trying to help these ponies.

                                            > It's my destiny! And despite my parents' objections, I'll never give up!


                                            > But for now, its late

                                            > I’m home alone

                                            > And I need a little "me" time.


                                            > I leaned over the bed and rummaged under the frame.

                                            > I know I left my toy under here somewhere…

                                            > Muffins has made such a mess of everything since she moved in! I can't even find things in my own house anymore!


                                            > I dug my hoof deeper into the mess until it hit a box

                                            > I stopped my rummaging and laid my hoof over the box

                                            > I don't recall putting boxes under my bed

                                            > And it was a little odd that in a pile of dishes, food wrappers and laundry, a cardboard box would just randomly be stuffed in the folds of this trash heap.


                                            > I pulled the box out from pile and observed it

                                            > I had never seen this box before, so it must be Muffins.

                                            > I opened the box and saw a collection of pink and purple underwear

                                            "Is this a present for me?"


                                            > I tried on a pair.

                                            > They were pretty loose and the elastic looked worn

                                            > Whoever these are for, they must have a really fat rump

                                            > Derpy doesn't usually wear underwear anymore, unless she's going out

                                            > Recently, she's been walking around the house naked

                                            > I'm not fond of her newly found nudist tendencies (mostly because she never showers)


                                            > I pulled the pairs of underwear out of the box and saw a small baggie of purple hair clippings, a pile of unsent letters and a small jar of a yellowish liquid.

                                            >...

                                            > I'm puzzled


                                            > After twelve years, I didn't think Muffins could surprise me anymore

                                            > But this living situation is proving uncomfortably revealing.

                                            > What the heck was this!?

                                            > I opened the jar and a sour, garlicky odor hit my nose

                                            > It made me wretch so I closed it.


                                            > I picked up the first letter in the pile

                                            > It was written in Muffins hoofwriting


                                            > It read:

                                            > “Dear Princess Celestia. Today, Twilight and I went to the park and got ice cream! Twilight is gaining a little weight, but she says she doesn’t mind! Twilight and I sat on a bench and she talked about smart pony things for hours. I didn’t understand any of it, but it was nice to listen to her talk.

                                            I wish I was a smart pony like Twilight.

                                            After ice cream, we went to her favourite place, Her house! Twilight loves to read books, just like me! Twilight reads lots of books about science and history and stuff. I like books about romance because they always have happy endings. I hope happy endings exist in real life, but I doubt it.”


                                            Derpy Hooves”


                                            > Is Muffins writing fictional stories about going on dates with Twilight and pretending to send them to Celestia?


                                            >...


                                            > I picked up another, this time from the bottom of the pile.


                                            > It read:

                                            > “Dear Princess Celestia, Twilight let me stick my tongue inside her today…”

                                            > …


                                            > “Oh…”

                                            > “Oh my…”


                                            > Is this the kind of content she’s reading in her “romance books?”

                                            > It's one thing to read about made up characters in a story

                                            > But writing about having sex with ponies she knows in real life!?

                                            > I inhaled deeply and continued reading


                                            > “She wiggled a lot, especially when I rubbed my tongue along the walls of vagina. She tasted like grapes…”


                                            >...

                                            “Grapes?”

                                            > I could help but I giggle


                                            > “And smelled like a garden. Twilight is so perfect, I wish I was as perfect as her. One day I will marry her and she will be my master and I will be her pet wife. She will take care of me forever and I will never have to do the dishes!”

                                            Derpy Hooves”


                                            “You already don’t do the dishes…” I grumbled

                                            > I put the box away but kept the letters on the nightstand

                                            > I stared at them for a long while

                                            > I can’t believe how many there are.

                                            > There had to be about fifty.

                                            > Muffins has been infatuated with Twilight ever since she moved to Ponyville.

                                            > But I didn’t think her obsession ran this deep


                                            > I’m growing worried and confused

                                            > There's a lot I've learned about Derpy since she moved in, and sometimes I feel as if I'm in way over my head.

                                            > I'm neat, she's messy

                                            > I'm responsible, she's not

                                            > I take my medication, she’s refuses to get diagnosed

                                            > I do all the house work, she sits in bed all day eating junk food, masturbating and reading smut.


                                            > I love Muffins more than anything

                                            > But sometimes I get the feeling she's too strange for me.

                                            > Like she’s too different.

                                            > Like she doesn’t take our relationship seriously…


                                            > I heard the front door creak open

                                            “Muffins? Is that you?” I called

                                            > I tossed the letters into the nightstand drawer and sat up straight


                                            > “Fluttershy!” The voice cheered

                                            > It was Dash, and she sounded drunk

                                            > She pushed through the trash and into the bedroom then ripped the blankets off me


                                            “Dash!” I cried covering up again


                                            > “Oh, come on Fluttershy, you know I won’t do anything.”

                                            > I scooted back into the headboard


                                            > “You want a drink?” She chuckled

                                            > She went into her saddlebag and grabbed a flask, then started chugging


                                            "Dash! You can't be drinking!"

                                            > I jumped for the flask but she shoved me back down

                                            > "Fluttershy, I decided that I needed a break from sobriety.”


                                            "Well…Well then I can't talk to you. You aren’t supposed to be drinking."

                                            > "I'm not drunk! I've got a little bit of a buzz going but I’m fine."


                                            "Does Applejack know you're drinking again?"

                                            > "Nooo…..You won't tell her will you?"

                                            "I feel like I should…"

                                            > "Fluttershy, I didn’t just come here for the fun of it. The situation is dire! Applejack doesn't even talk to me anymore. She's disassociated from everypony! I've never seen her like this. She barely eats, and instead of working she sits in the farmhouse window all day staring at the unkempt fields. I need to save the farm if I'm going to save her."


                                            "Oh my…Well, ummm….I know you're worried, but we should really wait for Twilight to make the calls when it comes to this sort of thing."


                                            > “Fluttershy, I know you’re not the most active pony in town, but can you like…Do something for once?”

                                            “What do you mean, do something?”

                                            > “You just sit at home all day! I’m not saying you're lazy, but…You don’t even have a job, and you’re getting kinda fat.”


                                            > Rainbow Dash is my friend

                                            > One of the ponies I must love and care for.

                                            > But she’s also a brat who never cares to listen to other ponies' problems and expects everypony to jump for her.

                                            > Also, she thinks she's WAY cooler than she actually is.


                                            "Dash, you don’t even know what I do all day! Do you REALLY think I sit in bed all day and do nothing!? I don't even know where to begin with such an accusation! Do you know how hard it is living with Muffins? I spend every. Waking. Moment trying to make her feel at home here! She doesn’t listen, she doesn’t clean up, and whenever I want to talk to her about something important to me she suddenly has the urge for sex! I’ve been dying to have sex for weeks!”

                                            > “Okay, sorry Fluttershy, I didn’t know…”


                                            > “I’ve been in heat for weeks! But she doesn’t even touch me anymore! Instead of love making, she sits on my face for hours on end until she gets hungry and asks me to make her food! Have you ever had to eat out a mare for three entire hours!? She’s driving me up the wall and I feel like I’m going to go crazy!”


                                            > I opened the nightstand drawer and grabbed a bottle of anti anxiety medication then shoved a hooful of pills in my mouth

                                            > Dash stared at me as I swallowed them


                                            > “Ummmm…You holding up alright? Fluttershy?”


                                            “I don’t know…” I sniffled. “These pills barely work anymore. They just make everything blurry and hurt my tummy.”


                                            > Dash took another long swig from her flask then threw the covers off of me and sat between my legs.

                                            “What are you doing!?”


                                            > She put her hoof over my vagina and slowly started to rub.


                                            “Dash! We can’t do this! Muffins and I took a vow!”


                                            > “Relax! I’m just helping you get off. I’m even doing it over your underwear!”

                                            > Like that makes it any less sinful.


                                            > “You seem stressed.”


                                            “I am…I really am.” I sniffled


                                            > “You still love her don’t you?”

                                            “Yes…Despite everything, I love her more than anypony. I knew it would be hard being in a relationship with her. But I didn’t think it would be this hard.”

                                            > I wiped my eye


                                            > “Flutters, how you feel about Muffins is how I feel about AJ. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost her. She's my everything. I need to do this. I and I need you to help me.”


                                            “I just…I want her to be happy, I want all my friends to be happy.”


                                            > “And I want you to be happy too.” She said rubbing more quickly


                                            > “Ponies say all kinds of things about me. They say I’m creepy because of what happened at the academy But I was drunk! You don’t think I’m being creepy now? Do you?”


                                            > Dash has no self awareness

                                            > She breaks into my house drunk off her flank and starts rubbing my privates

                                            > Does she really think this is any way appropriate?


                                            “Dash…I think your problem is that you don’t think about whether what you're doing is appropriate or not. Especially when you drink. I don’t want to make you feel bad, but I’m in my early twenties and you're going to be thirty in a couple years l."


                                            > Dash looked deflated

                                            > She stopped moving entirely and stared into space.

                                            "You were always the…flirty one of our group and…The oldest. Some ponies thought it was a little weird. I don't believe you have Ill intent, but you've always behaved in very…odd ways."


                                            > She jumped to her hooves and began to pace in a panic

                                            > "Oh my gosh, I can't believe this is happening again! I'm gonna have to move away, and start all over."


                                            "It's okay Dash, we've known each other for a long time now. I'm not upset about it. And none of us think any less of you. You're still the coolest pony I know.”

                                            > “Thanks Fluttershy, I’m happy you don’t look back at our friendship and feel weird about it.”


                                            “Oh, of course not! We were young!"

                                            > "Yeah, yeah! We were young! And you never told anypony about those parties, right?"


                                            "I don't think so. Those parties were a private thing between the four of us, and Applejack when she decided to join."


                                            > She paused and turned to me

                                            > "We need to go."

                                            "Go? Go where?"

                                            > She pulled my underwear off and stuck them over my head, my eyes rested between the leg holes.


                                            > "I need you to come with me on a mission."

                                            "Ummm…Dash I would really rather not. I had a busy day and…"

                                            > She grabbed my hoof and tugged me out of my bed

                                            > I can't seem to find even a moment's rest.


                                            Pinkie:


                                            > I wiped my mouth and hopped back on my stool at the bar.

                                            > “Three margaritas, Please!” I slammed a small bag of bits on the table

                                            > The bartender gave me a strange look but obliged


                                            > I chuckled to myself and scanned the room for my next victim

                                            > In under an hour I made enough money for both Marble and I to live for the weekend

                                            > My diet is mainly alcohol, cupcakes and pizza

                                            > Marbles is much more expensive because of the mass of food she needs for every meal


                                            > Embracing my new look has been working out better than expected

                                            > Sure, I had to lower my prices a smidge and I can't play up on my looks like I used to

                                            > But I'm giving head like it's new years eve!


                                            > As I looked around the room a hooded pony grabbed the seat next to me.

                                            > He sat motionless, hunched over his cup of cider staring behind the bar

                                            > His presence was cold


                                            > I turned in my seat to face him

                                            “You like what you see?” I asked, leaning towards him, batting my lashes

                                            > He didn’t reply

                                            “You've probably heard so many things about me. But don’t worry, you have my word that they’re all true! Even the made up stuff! Doesn’t that make me just the dirtiest pony?”

                                            > I slid my hoof between my legs and smiled


                                            > The stallion didn’t even flinch

                                            “Are you okay?”

                                            > “I don’t usually visit such classless places.” He spat

                                            > Though I can't see his face, I tell who it was by the mangled Canterlot/Ponyville accent.

                                            > My crotch went dry and I  leaned over the bar

                                            "What do you want?" I grumbled


                                            > “I need to speak with you. How much of your time?”

                                            “You don’t need to pay me to tell me something. Just spit it out."

                                            > “How much for your time.” He repeated

                                            > I was getting an uneasy feeling


                                            “Ten bits for a blow job! It seems that's all ponies want from me anymore."

                                            > “I remember when you were fifty bits an hour.”

                                            “Things change.”  I shot picking the dirt between my cloven hooves

                                            > He dropped fifty bits on the counter and grabbed my hoof


                                            > "Follow me."

                                            > He led me to the wash room and locked us in one of the stalls then threw off his hood.

                                            > "Don't tell me actually consider this place classy."

                                            "If you want class you should've stayed in Manhattan with the rest of the rats."


                                            > "I would have thought comparing ponies to dirty animals would be below you." He chuckled


                                            “What do you want Mr. Rich?”

                                            > “I have a proposition for you.”

                                            > He stood on his back legs and leaned his front hoof on the wall behind me

                                            > He stared down at me with expectation

                                            > I rolled my eyes and unzipped his pants


                                            > “What do you know about "best pony?”

                                            “Best Pony? Seriously?"

                                            > "Are you upset this isn't about you?"


                                            > His cock fell from his pants, brushing along my cheek

                                            "You must be crazy if you believe I care about what you think about anything."

                                            > I shoved his penis in my mouth and began slowly sucking


                                            > “I want to cut you in on a slice of my plans. You see, after you're party my pool of allies began running thin. This plan I'm running requires confidentiality. I need you to swear that you won’t speak of it to anypony.”

                                            > “Mmm Hmm!” I said nodding my head

                                            > “This “best pony" is an unanticipated roadblock to my plans. She has the best milk in Ponyville by far! But no pony knows who she is and I can't seem to find anypony who does."


                                            > I spat his penis from my mouth

                                            > “Don’t ask me. I can’t even afford her stuff.'

                                            > He sighed in annoyance and began smacking his wet, flaccid cock over my cheek

                                            > “I'm opening a milk bar here in town. It will be the most upscale, and expensive shop in town featuring the best mares in Ponyville. My only problem is that I need mares to provide the milk. I have five mares I want to employ."


                                            > I grab his cock, spit on it  and start jerking him off.

                                            “And who are these lucky ponies?"


                                            > He tilted my head backwards and wiped my bottom lip

                                            > “Only the best my dear. Derpy, Fluttershy, Cloudchaser, best pony and you. Cloudchaser is already on board. But she’s a ghastly looking thing. I need a mare who will be the face of the bar. And I can’t think of a prettier face than yours.”


                                            "Mr. Rich. You flatter me. But we both know I'm far from the pony I used to be."

                                            > He rubbed his penis beneath my eye

                                            > "I think you'll fit in perfectly. The mares I want at my bar are all of the unique variety."


                                            "Freaks." I shot

                                            > "I wouldn't call them that. I think they're the best this town has to offer. In a town of genetically abnormal ponies I'm looking for the exceptional."


                                            "And what about your little project? I'm guessing she'll be there to?"


                                            > "Obviously. But she'll stay away from you as long as you stay away from her."

                                            "I don't think that's going to be possible. We have unfinished business."

                                            > "It's not like she can do anything about it now. I say we let the past go and make ourselves some money then when the government starts to get wise we all pack up and go our separate ways."


                                            > "Why don't you just make her the friendly face of the bar? Celestia knows ponies would pay big bits just to see her."

                                            > "She's not quite broken in yet for that sort of work. That ego of hers is something else."

                                            "Tell me about it." I grumbled


                                            > “Well, while I appreciate the offer, I can’t produce milk anyways, So you're wasting your time ” I replied

                                            > I shoved his penis in my mouth and coiled my tongue around his cock.

                                            > “You don't think I already know about that? Pinkie, I know everything about you.”

                                            “Doubt it.” I said with my lips wrapped around his knob


                                            > “I know your sister is sick, and I know you need money. Help me, help you."

                                            "Marble is doing fine."

                                            > "And what happens when her stomach becomes too much to handle? You can only fuck so many ponies, and at your current rates you'll be on your knees all day. Unless you plan on making this stall you're home your sister will fall to her unusual ailment."


                                            > He slid his hoof down my jacket and squeezed one of my breasts

                                            > "I know you have lots of potential. And I can promise you a stable income."


                                            > Filthy Rich is such a scumbag

                                            > I don't like depending on ponies for money like this

                                            > But he's right. I need to put away my pride and do what's best for Marble

                                            > I'm all she has left.


                                            > I spat out his cock

                                            > Webs of spit and pre-cum trailed between his penis and my snout.

                                            "Fine. I'll do it. But I don't want to be experimented on, exploited or bullied. I'm not in the business of becoming your next toy. And I also want a salary, benefits and opportunity. If you can't promise that then I'm not joining you."


                                            > He smiled and slowly pressed his penis down my throat.

                                            > "Of course Pinkie. If you give me your milk you can have anything you like. I wouldn't want to deprive you of your dignity." He chuckled


                                            Derpy:


                                            > The room is very spinny

                                            > I think I may have drank a little bit too much…

                                            > I probably ate too much too….

                                            > My chest hurts...

                                            > I feel like I’m going to throw up…


                                            > “Muffins, you alright?”

                                            “Yeah…I’m fine…”

                                            > “You should eat some more cake.” Coco suggested

                                            > I nodded and she grabbed me another slice

                                            > I hadn't felt like this since I drank cider at the treehouse years ago

                                            > It was the only time I've ever been drunk

                                            > Aside from now of course.


                                            > Coco was starting to look worried

                                            > “Muffins, are you okay?”

                                            “Y…Yeah…I just need to stand up.”

                                            > When my hooves hit the floor I immediately began to stumble backwards

                                            > “Muffins, come back and sit. I don’t think that's a good ide…”

                                            > I stumbled back into the table behind me

                                            > I felt hooves grab my rump, saving me from tumbling


                                            > "Woah, be careful their little mare."

                                            > I looked up and saw the rich unicorn stallion Redheart and Cheerlie were gushing over earlier

                                            > My heart was beating faster than ever

                                            > He’s so handsome….

                                            "Oh…s…sorry…" I mumbled


                                            > "No problem."

                                            > He lifted me back on my hooves and returned me to my seat

                                            "I think you drank a little too much." He chuckled

                                            "No…" I grumbled

                                            > “Sorry?”

                                            > "No! I…I want more!"

                                            > I slammed my hoof on the table

                                            > Both the stallion and Coco started to laugh


                                            > Coco grabbed a slice of cake and slathered it with frosting

                                            > “Hope you’re ready for another slice!”

                                            > I felt so full….but the cake looked soooo good!

                                            > Fluttershy NEVER lets me eat like this!

                                            > I forced the slice down my throat

                                            > My chest was feeling very tense…


                                            > “Seriously.  I think you’ve had enough.” The stallion said looking down at the plates below my breasts

                                            “You do?”

                                            > I looked at my belly, which had grown significantly since I sat down

                                            > Maybe I should call it quits. My body needs time to recover and….

                                            > “Are you calling my friend fat?” Coco warned


                                            > “I would never. I’m just a little concerned about her…”

                                            > Coco picked up another piece of cake, covering it in frosting, sugar and chocolate chips


                                            > “Don’t listen to him Muffins. You look great.”

                                            “I…I do?”

                                            > “Of course!"


                                            > The waiter must have heard me because he trotted over to us with another drink.

                                            > I put the glass between my breasts and brought the straw to my mouth.


                                            > "How do you feel?" The stallion asked, grabbing the seat across from me

                                            "I feel fat…And stupid." I grumbled

                                            "I was never the thinnest pony…or the smartest. But …I feel like I've maybe gone too far…"


                                            > “That's just your anxiety talking!" Coco interrupted, "You look amazing, I should know becau…”


                                            "Coco, am I a good pony?"

                                            > "Y

                                            Of course you’re one of the best ponies!"

                                            "No…I can't be best pony…. Twilight…She's…best pony."

                                            > "I doubt Twilight has a belly like yours, sweetie."

                                            "I don't know…She's pretty fat…" I sniffled

                                            > "Is Twilight your mare-friend?"


                                            "I wish! Twilight is…She's…Well she's perfect! I wanna hug her so tight and never let go…"

                                            > "She sounds like an amazing friend."


                                            "She's my best friend in ALL of Equestria! She doesn't know it yet, but we're going to get married someday! And I'll be her wife!"


                                            > "I'm sure she would like that."


                                            "Can you keep a secret? Sometimes I steal her underwear and wear them. I have a whole box of Twilights panties under my bed…"


                                            > I shoved my hoof down my pants and pulled the strap of my panties out

                                            "I'm even wearing a pair right now!"


                                            > "Oh Mon! That is so lewd!" Coco gasped

                                            > "And so kinky." She purred


                                            > We both laughed


                                            > "Another bottle, waiter! We're just getting started!" The stallion called out


                                            > "You mares are strange." He chuckled "I'd love to know more about both of you."


                                            > My stomach groaned in pain


                                            Fluttershy:


                                            > Dash explained the plan on the way

                                            > She decided the best course of action would be to break into Filthy's house.


                                            > Initially, I didn't want to but I was slowly warming up to the idea, mostly due to the seven anti anxiety pills I scarfed down my throat hitting me like a train.


                                            > I think Dash is nervous about this break in too.

                                            > I'm still terrified, but much more sedated

                                            > I feel like I can do anything!

                                            > Is this what life is like without ANY anxiety?

                                            > I should up my doses…


                                            > Dash and I wore disguises as we approached the house

                                            > Mine was the pair of pink underwear I found under the bed

                                            > Dash was wearing one of the masks my animals friends made me when I was trying to face my fear of flying in front of other ponies


                                            > We snuck into the house through one on the windows and crept through the halls

                                            > My heart fluttered, rumbling through my chest like the beat of a trembling bass strings hum

                                            > Dash stumbled down the hall, stopping at every door to steal a peek inside before closing it.

                                            > My faith in her planning was staggering


                                            “What exactly are we looking for?” I whispered

                                            > “Leverage!” She shot “He needs to learn what it feels like to lose something important to him.”

                                            “I understand…Sort of?”

                                            > She opened another door before closing it

                                            “Dash! What are we doing? What do you plan on taking?”

                                            > “Shhhh!” Just stick close and be quiet. “I’m looking for a his most precious jewel.”


                                            > We entered a room filled with display tables with jewels under glass casings

                                            > Mr. Rich sure does like collecting

                                            > I stared down at all the jewels shining in every colour

                                            “Is this what you're looking for?”

                                            > Dash jumped onto her hind-legs over the glass which began to creak under her hooves


                                            “Dash, I think you should…”

                                            > The glass squeaked louder

                                            > I closed my eyes and prepared for the inevitable.


                                            Pinkie:


                                            > Mr. Rich brought me to his home in the affluent part of town

                                            > He led me down his poorly lit hall of collections

                                            > The last time I was here he sold me a giant keg and forced me to move it by myself

                                            > I’d like to say I’ve wisened up to his tricks but clearly I haven’t.


                                            > When we reached the end of the hall he lit a fire in a stone fire pit

                                            > He grabbed a small cauldron from a cabinet and perched over the flames


                                            > The roaring fire casted eerie shadows along the walls

                                            > He had three peculiar statues of the long legged mares which towered above us

                                            > They were odd pieces depicting slim mares with breasts of varying sizes placed on the chest, tummy and between the back legs.

                                            > I don't know what pony in the right mind would design such gross, perverted looking statues.


                                            > I scooted backwards towards the fire and rested my rump along the lip of the fire pits wall

                                            > “Undress.” Filthy Rich said rather casually

                                            > I brought my hooves to my chest and began bumbling at the buttons in the dark

                                            "Doesn't this place creep you out?"


                                            > "Not at all! These are artifacts of ancient Equestria, nothing to feel uneasy about. Everything you see here is part of our history."

                                            “I don’t remember reading about six breasted mares in my history books.” I scoffed

                                            > “Sometimes what you read in school isn’t the whole truth.”

                                            > When I was finished messing around with the buttons I threw off my coat

                                            > My teats sagged along my body, looking like deflated pockets of irritated fat.


                                            > Filthy Rich pulled a book from his shelf and began flipping through the pages

                                            > “This book is older than the princesses themselves. It's a magical guide written in an ancient language predating even old ponish. Its the only effective magical article related to teat magic that exists.”

                                            > As he flipped through the pages he chuckled to himself


                                            > “What would you like? I can give you a n extra pair of crotch teats? Turn your blood to milk?”

                                            “No experimentation.” I reminded him “I just want to produce milk, nothing crazy.”

                                            > He flipped through the book and leaned into the pages, squinting his eyes

                                            > “Well, to complete the maximum production potion I will need a few things.”


                                            > He opened his cabinet again and pulled out a dozen tiny glass bottles

                                            > Mr. Rich meticulously poured small amounts from each into the brew

                                            > “These ingredients are thousands of years old. You need very specific ingredients to make these spells work correctly.” He explained

                                            > I watched him sprinkle the ingredients into the boiling pot

                                            > The colours changed and the water bubbled more violently with each new addition


                                            > "So what do you know about Derpy?” He asked “What does she like? I would like to employ her sooner rather than later.”

                                            "I implore you not to get her involved in this."

                                            > "Why not? She's a grown mare, she can make her own decisions."

                                            "I have a feeling you just want to use her. You don’t seem to have much respect for mares and I can’t see you treating Derpy any differently, despite her issues."


                                            > "Pinkie I’m offended! I wouldn’t dare harm even a hair of her little head. When I first laid eyes on her I felt as though I was looking upon a modern goddess. She's physical perfect."

                                            > He looked up and one of his raunchy statues with lust in his eyes


                                            > "She is a modern goddess.” He muttered

                                            "Honestly, I think she could probably do better than you." I said casually

                                            > "Now you're just being foolish. Every mare has a price. You of all ponies should know that."

                                            > What a jerk


                                            > As he stirred the brew a shadow passed over us like a black bolt of lightning.

                                            > The flash caused me to jump and scanned the ceiling.

                                            "What was that?" I whispered

                                            > "That's just Cloudchaser." He shrugged "Cloudy! Get down here!" He hollered

                                            > Cloudchaser? I thought she ran away a long time ago.


                                            > Perched along a windowsill above our heads Cloudchaser sat

                                            > The silhouette was strange and uncanny

                                            > The mare jumped from the window and slithered down one of the support columns like a snake.


                                            > When the light of the fire touched her face I was met with a horrific sight

                                            > I threw my hooves over my mouth and tried not to scream


                                            > "Hey! You got her Mr. Rich!" She cheered


                                            > "All without your help." He snapped


                                            > "I was busy." She snarled, flashing her razor teeth


                                            > "Busy." He huffed "Don't lie to me Cloudchaser. You were off playing with Twilight again."

                                            > Her eyes narrowed "Maybe I was. Does it really matter?”


                                            > Mr. Rich sighed

                                            > "Your affinity for Twilight makes you impossible to work with. Sometimes I believe you actually love her…Sometimes I think you love her more than your job.”


                                            > Cloudchaser chuckled then sat on the floor over her back legs

                                            > “You know I like to play with my food.” She replied


                                            > Her bright yellow eyes fell on me and she smiled devilish

                                            > “Well if it isn’t the whore of Ponyville! I knew you’d join us eventually.”


                                            “W…What happened to you?” I stuttered

                                            > “I contracted a nasty series of ailments from your friend Twilight the night of the party. I would be mad but she's such a good lay."

                                            > Her face beamed with happiness as she spoke


                                            > "I won't get into the details, seeing how you two are friends and all. But giving her pleasure is the best revenge."


                                            > She pulled a mangled rabbit corpse from her bag and sunk her teeth into the raw flesh

                                            > “So Mr, Rich." She said with a full mouth

                                            > "Is Pinkie officially on our side now?” She asked as blood ran down her lips

                                            > I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.


                                            > Mr. Rich nodded “Pinkie has agreed to be the face of the milk bar. When the potion is complete I’ll have her sign the papers and she’ll be ours.”


                                            > "Oh! I already have a potion! I got it from Twilight!" Cloudchaser tossed the vial to Mr. Rich


                                            > He examined the bottle closely before tossing it back

                                            > Cloudchaser looked crushed

                                            > "Save it for some other pony. I can tell just by looking that this potion was poorly crafted. Celestia knows what unwanted effects it will have."


                                            > Cloudchaser tossed it back into her bag then slithered towards me

                                            > She moved like a shark

                                            > Quick and with precise control


                                            > She sat across from me and giggled “I’m happy you decided to join us, we have lots of fun!”

                                            > She took another large bite of the rabbits stomach

                                            > The meat between her teeth made stomach twisting squishing noises

                                            > I felt like I was gonna vomit


                                            > In all my time in Ponyville I had never seen Cloudchaser truly happy

                                            > Now, she's practically glowing with positivity


                                            > “Being part of the project is great!" She explained

                                            > She grabbed my hoof and shook it “I’m security for mister Rich! Whoever he wants done away with, I’m his mare!”

                                            “When you say done away with, do you mean…?”

                                            > She put her hoof to her throat

                                            > I looked back at Filthy Rich who didn’t seem to have any reaction to this

                                            > I gulped


                                            > She leaned over me, wrapping her hoof around my neck and draping the dead bunny over my shoulder

                                            > “Relax Pinkie. We’re friends now! This isn’t just a job, it's a family!”

                                            > I shoved her away and took a few steps backwards.


                                            > “Cloudy, has Twilight said anything about her silly  investigation?” Mr. Rich asked

                                            > “She doesn’t have a clue! And those tits the princess gave her are making it hard for her to do anything at all!”


                                            > “But if I must, I could put an end to her questioning if you like. Your wish is my command."

                                            > “Are you suggesting we kill the princesses star pupil?”


                                            > “No…I mean…It would solve a lot of our problems.”

                                            > “Cloudy, it would serve the project best if you thought less. Thinking isn't your strongest trait. Just sit there and enjoy your meal while I work on this potion l."


                                            > "But Me. Rich!" She whined

                                            > I don't know why

                                            > But seeing a terrifying creature like her cry like a spoiled filly made me chuckle.


                                            > “No Cloudchaser. Just enjoy your meal and be quiet."

                                            > Cloudchaser huffed then snapped the rabbits spine in two spiritlessly and tossed it at her hooves.

                                            > The carcass hit the floor with a disgusting splat

                                            > “Well, if I’m not needed, then I guess I’ll head back to the forest.”


                                            > “You have my blessing.” He replied without looking up

                                            > She spread her wings but the sound be of smashing glass made us all freeze


                                            > Filthy and Cloudchaser locked eyes

                                            > "Find out what that was. If it's an intruder, do as you must."


                                            > Cloudchaser licked her lips and took to the air, then bolted down the hall.


                                            "What are you up to? What's this project? and what does it have to do with Twilight?"


                                            > "It's just business. Twilight is trying to destroy the town's milk industry. I simply can't let that happen."


                                            "Do you trust Cloudchaser?"


                                            > "As much as anypony can trust a monster like her. I keep her at a distance because frankly, she disgusts me. It's unfortunate I even need a thing like her at my disposal. But I need somepony to solve the problems I don't want to get my hooves dirty with. But to her credit, she has milk of astounding power, but it’s overwhelming to the mind and something I can't enjoy with my daily wine and cheese. Her milk causes intense hallucinations and unusual thoughts. Though, her milk may not fit for consumption. I'm not one to waste talent when I see them."


                                            > He scooped a healthy portion of the potion into a cup and passed it to me

                                            > "I see opportunity in you Pinkie. You're smarter than you let on."


                                            > I drank the potion in one big gulp

                                            > He approached me and put his hooves on my shoulder

                                            > "Feel free to spend the night, I'll have a wagon of food sent to your sister in the morning. You won't need to worry about her anymore."


                                            > He led to his room and laid on the bedroom

                                            > "Now don't make a sound." He warned


                                            > He opened the door and

                                            > "Filthy? What's with all the noise? I'm trying to get my beauty sleep."

                                            > It was his wife!


                                            > I crept across the room on the tips of my hooves

                                            > "It's nothing honey, just get some sleep "

                                            > He undressed and jumped in bed


                                            > I followed him in bed and he tightly spooned me

                                            > "I'm going out tomorrow morning. Don't ask where." Mrs. Rich hissed


                                            > "Like I care what you do." He shot back


                                            > I felt his penis slip inside me inside

                                            > The moment his cock touched my walls I had the my real orgasm in weeks!

                                            "Oh sweet Celestia! Finally!" I moaned

                                            > Mr. Rich threw his hooves over my mouth and we both froze


                                            > "What was that?"

                                            > Mrs. Rich shot up and looked around the room

                                            > "Nothing my love, go back to sleep." Mr. Rich groaned

                                            >

                                            > She fell back down and pulled the covers towards her

                                            > “I wish I never met you.” She whimpered


                                            > “You say that as you lay under a silk blanket. The doors always open." He scoffed

                                            > Mr. Rich slowly began to thrust

                                            > “Its probably those fucking zebras. I told you not to mess with them.”


                                            > “Cloudchaser will handle it sweetie. Just shut your mouth and go to sleep.”

                                            > “If those savages find us, I’m leaving and you, and taking Diamond Tiara with me. I hope you know that. It's your fault we’re in this mess.” She was starting to sound hysterical


                                            > “Diamond stays with me. She’s the only good thing to come out of your awful company. Now shut up and go to sleep, I have work tomorrow, honey.”


                                            > “I hate you.” She whimpered


                                            > Mr. Rich shoved his penis deep inside me and gripped me tightly.

                                            > After a month of agonizing celibacy

                                            > He kissed me on the cheek and went to sleep

                                            > All I can say, is that it feels good to be back in business….


                                            Fluttershy:


                                            "Careful now, You don’t want to cut your hooves on the glass.” I warned

                                            > We walked as tenderly as we could, the glass snapping under our hooves

                                            > After Dash leaned over the display the entire table buckled causing shards of glass to shatter across the floor.


                                            > Suddenly, a black shadow jumped along the walls

                                            > We both froze

                                            > Lightning flashed outside and rain began to tap along the window


                                            > The sound of wings flapping echoed down the hall

                                            > “Hide!” Dash whispered hoarsely

                                            > We jumped into a sprint and raced down the hall.


                                            > We slid under on of the display tables in the center of the room

                                            > Heavy hooves stomped along the floor towards us at a cautious pace


                                            > I covered Dash under my wing as I shivered

                                            > My limbs were tangled, my neck craned towards the floor and back hunched, shivering in fear along the base of the display

                                            > Glass cracked across the room

                                            > I inhaled sharply and held my breath


                                            > “Hello?” A voice called

                                            > “Diamond Tiara?”

                                            > ….

                                            > “Anypony out there?” The voice chuckled


                                            > “I know you’re out there. Come on out!”

                                            > Not a hint of fear or anger was in the mares suspiciously familiar voice

                                            > They sounded excited


                                            > She kicked the glass as she approached

                                            > “You’re gonna have to show yourself sooner or later. If you do, I can make it quick!”

                                            > The mare passed a window

                                            > In the moonlight stood a grotesque figure with sharp glowing yellow eyes

                                            > Fractured branches protruding wildly from her head

                                            > Glowing green bile oozed from her brain


                                            > It had the figure of a pony

                                            > And sounded like a mare I had once known

                                            > But it had the appearance of a corpse.

                                            > It was as if a body had been left to rot in the Everfree for months then suddenly reanimated itself.

                                            > Words escaped me.

                                            > Whatever it was, it was a ungodly and sick creature, which only the darkest magics could design.


                                            > It dragged the blade of it's wing along the glass of the displays as she walked down the hall which created a piercing whine

                                            > "This is private property. I will find you!" It sang

                                            > "And when I do…" The creature huffed


                                            > It wandered about the room aimlessly

                                            > I watched it's glo


                                            > “Where could you be?” it pondered

                                            > It’s hooves stopped inches from my face

                                            > worms, and insects comprised of many legs birthed from the tiny holes in the creature's wooden casing.


                                            > I covered my mouth with my hooves to stop myself from screaming


                                            > “I will find you little pony.” It whispered to herself again

                                            > It pointed its snout to the ground and began sniffing, its ears twitching as it scanned the room

                                            > Dash tugged my wing and pointed to a pair of open double doors leading to the next room.

                                            > it was so close

                                            > But I was too terrified to move


                                            > I shook my head and hid my eyes behind my hooves

                                            > She tugged harder, but n matter how much I wanted to escape, I couldn’t break from my paralyzing fear.


                                            > Dash sighed and clenched her teeth, eyes darting between, me, the monster and the door

                                            > “Seriously!” She whispered


                                            “Mmm hmm.” I whimpered

                                            > She crept from under the table, keeping her body low to the ground.


                                            > Spread her wings

                                            > “Hey! Over here!”

                                            > The creature stopped and shit its glowing yellow eyes towards us

                                            > Dash ran full speed towards it, she jumped to the air and with her hooves in front of her collided with the creatures face


                                            > They both tumbled to the floor

                                            > The creature snapped back to its hooves immediately


                                            > It wiped it’s snout and laughed

                                            > Dash had fallen into the pile of glass

                                            > The creature stood over Dash, resting its hooves over her wings


                                            > “Rainbow Dash?” It chuckled “I always knew you were broke, but I never took you as a thief!”


                                            > “C..Cloudchaser? Is that you!?”

                                            > “The one and only.”

                                            > I looked over at the door then back at Dash, who was pinned under her


                                            > “What happened to you?”

                                            > “I transcended.”

                                            > Dash flailed and kicked upwards

                                            > As I approached. he blood pooling beneath her came into view,


                                            > “It looks like you're bleeding out. I wonder….Does Celestia let frilly little homo mares into the afterlife? We know they don’t let them into the Wonderbolts.” She chuckled


                                            > Dash grabbed a piece of glass and jabbed it into the side of Cloudchasers skull


                                            > Cloudchaser didn't even flinch

                                            > She actually looked just as surprised, as Dash

                                            > She stared at the glass jutting from the side of her head, with a look of anticipated pain, which surely should have caused her to Collapse by now.


                                            > Dash looked like she was about to cry and tried to yank the glass form Cloudchaser but it was lodged inside her


                                            > Cloudchaser flicked Dash's hooves away like she was shooing away a fly

                                            > Her eyes still locked on the glass

                                            > She slowly pulled it from her head, a black syrup clung to the shard like thick tree sap.


                                            > Cloudchaser chuckled in disbelief then dropped the glass to the floor

                                            > "You know Dash, you really had me for a moment."


                                            > "You're a monster! Get off of me!" Dash yelped

                                            > "Oh, The irony is just killing me!" Cloudchaser groaned


                                            > "I’m the monster? Don’t think I don’t know what you did at Wonderbolts training camp. “

                                            > Dash gulped and went still


                                            > “You just couldn't keep your dirty little hooves off the other mares could you?”


                                            > “What do you know about that” Dash asked anxiously


                                            > “I know that Lime is still receiving treatment because of you. I know that it cost the team thousands to cover up what you did to her and the others. And worst of all, you got away with it. You broke the rules, you broke the law and you ruined other ponies' lives. Ponies like you are the exact reason they don't let openly gay mares in the Bolts. If ponies found out what you did to those mares, you wouldn’t see another day of freedom.”


                                            > Dash stopped struggling

                                            > "How do you know about all this?"

                                            > "I know ponies, who know things." She said sternly

                                            > "Who told you!" Dash cried

                                            > “You have so many secrets Dashie, how do you keep them straight?”


                                            > I coughed and Cloudchaser spun to face me

                                            “C..Cloudchaser…I don’t wanna have to do this…”

                                            > “Fluttershy?”

                                            > I wasn’t even sure this would work

                                            > But it was our only hope

                                            > I inhaled and preformed my stare on her

                                            > She froze

                                            > Surprisingly, it worked!


                                            “You will leave to the Everfree forest and forget everything you saw tonight.” I whimpered

                                            > Like a zombie, she dragged her hooves down the hall and into the next room

                                            > I ran to Dash who was laying in a pool of blood and glass

                                            > “We need to get you to a hospital!”


                                            > She pushed my hooves away.

                                            > “We aren't leaving without what we came here for.”

                                            “But Dash!”

                                            > “Just wait here…Clean this up and I’ll meet you here in a minute.”


                                            > Dash returned with a sack over her shoulder

                                            > I don’t know what we stole.

                                            > Whatever it was, it probably wasn't worth it.


                                            Derpy:


                                            > I’ve never been this drunk before

                                            > I can’t see straight at all

                                            > I look over a Coco who’s rubbing my cheek

                                            > “Are you okay, Hun?"


                                            “Y…Y…Y..Ye…ah…Ye..ah…”

                                            > The stallion was rubbing Cocos thigh as she massaged my face

                                            > Coco had become a hot mess

                                            > Across the table she had laid out a bunch of makeup between the empty wine glasses

                                            > She m applying it under my eye

                                            > “Just stay still.” Coco purred, “I’m gonna make you look wonderful.”


                                            > I looked back up and saw all the ponies in the cafe were staring at us

                                            > We must look like the biggest idiots they have ever seen.


                                            > The waiter stormed towards us

                                            > “I’m sorry, but you three need to leave at once.”

                                            > “Why!?” Coco snapped

                                            > “Because you’re causing a scene!”

                                            > Coco jumped from her seat and began to argue

                                            > Within seconds, the two were in a screaming

                                            match


                                            > I covered my ears

                                            > Arguing makes me physically sick

                                            "Please don't fight…" I whispered

                                            > Coco called the Pegasi waiter a “featherbrain.”

                                            > And in turn received a slap across the face

                                            > the stallion, who was equally drunk as I, jumped up to her defense


                                            > I closed my eyes and tried to think happier thoughts

                                            > After a minute I felt a hoof around my neck

                                            > I looked up and saw Coco

                                            > She had a large red mark across her face


                                            > The stallion stood outside the window

                                            > "We have to leave now." Coco said sadly

                                            > The three of us walked through town aimlessly

                                            > It was pouring rain and I was starting to get cold


                                            > Coco was still furious about what happened

                                            > “That's why I hate Pegasi Muffins. No offense but I think the world would be better off without them.”

                                            “But…Dash and Fus…Shy!….I…I’m a Pegasi….”

                                            > She stopped and held onto my shoulders

                                            > “Yes, but you’re one of the good ones.”

                                            “What…That mean?….I’m …g…Good one?”

                                            > “You aren’t an ego driven, self centered featherbrain like most of them. I’ve only met two Pegasi I like and you’re one of them.”

                                            “Thanks Coco…That means a…bunch.”

                                            > I’m happy I found Coco

                                            > She’s the only pony who understands me.


                                            > Coco rested her hoof around my shoulder as we walked

                                            > The stallion was using his magic to hold an umbrella above our head

                                            > Life can be so strange

                                            > I just met this pony and I already feel such a strong connection


                                            “W…Where we…going?”

                                            > “We’re going to my place for the night. It’s way too cold and you're WAY too drunk.”

                                            “I’m not drunk…I…I…I’m happy!”


                                            > Coco laughed

                                            > “You’re wasted! You can’t even walk in a straight line!”

                                            “Maybe I don’t wanna walk in a straight line!” I giggled

                                            > “You’re funny.” She slurred


                                            > We walked for a little while through downtown

                                            > Coco had taken a sudden liking to the stallion and the two were snuggling under the umbrella

                                            > The streets are completely empty and the only lights I could see were he dim candlelit streetlights

                                            > The wind was biting and the rain was crashing into us like waves

                                            > I want to get inside as quick as possible, but at the same time there was something really comfy about the three of us being snuggled under the umbrella


                                            > I can see Cocos breath in the air and feel her warmth

                                            > “This is it.” Coco said approaching the hotel


                                            “P…P…Pony…ville hotel?”

                                            > “Yep! Come on in.”


                                            > We went up the stairs and walked down a couple long hallways until we reached a room at the end of the hall.

                                            > She unlocked the door and I followed her inside

                                            > She threw open the blinds and the room became full of dark shadow


                                            > I staggered to the window and stared out at Ponyville from above

                                            > Lighting flickered over the rolling hills and thunder shook the room

                                            > I could hear Coco and the stallion whispering behind me but I couldn’t make any of it out


                                            > When I turned around Coco was on her knees between the stallions legs

                                            > I covered my eyes

                                            “S…S…Sorrrryy!”


                                            > “Muffins, it’s okay.” Coco giggled “You can watch.”

                                            > I didn’t want to. It felt rude. But my curiosity got the better of me

                                            > Coco had the stallions penis in her hoof

                                            > It was large and veiny

                                            > I had never seen a penis before


                                            > “You like this, Muffins?” She giggled

                                            > I turned away and stared out the window trying to forget what was happening behind me.

                                            > "Is she okay?" The stallion asked

                                            > "She's fine."

                                            > "We should send her home. I don't think she's mentally ready for…"

                                            > "Shhhh!"


                                            > After a while I could hear them rolling on the bed

                                            > Coco was moaning and shouting profane things as the bed rocked back and forth

                                            > I just stared out the window trying not to throw up all the booze and food


                                            > Suddenly the bed stopped shaking and I heard more inaudible whispering  then Coco called me over

                                            > “Hey Muffins!” Coco called

                                            > I spun around

                                            > “You want a piece of this?”

                                            > The two were naked, laying in the bed

                                            > Coco stroked the bottom of the stallions penis with her hoof

                                            “No…I’ve never done it with a stallion before…And I have a marefriend.”

                                            > “Wait…You’ve never gotten porked before?”


                                            > I nodded, feeling a little embarrassed

                                            > She jumped from her bed and grabbed my hoof

                                            > “Oh! You’ll love it!”


                                            > Coco laid me on the bed in my back and rested her hoof over my heart

                                            > She kissed me on the lips a couple of times before slowly pulling away

                                            > She pulled my bra under my chest breasts and began to suck on my nipples

                                            > Behind her the stallion was slapping his sticky penis over my crotch


                                            > Coco pulled away

                                            > “Are you ready to get your cherry popped?” she asked with milk running down her lips

                                            “I…I don’t know…”


                                            > “Come on Muffins…You’re twenty years old and never gotten fucked?”

                                            “I…I…No…I never….Did that…”

                                            > Coco laughed

                                            > “Look at her! She won’t even say the word! Isn't she just precious?"


                                            > The stallion grunted, he pushed my panties to the side and began lapping his penis between my vaginal lips

                                            > It was so pleasurable and frustrating

                                            > “Come on Muffins. Say it.”

                                            “No…I…I don’t say that kinda stuff…It's…dirty.”

                                            > “But you’re a dirty mare. You’ve got your legs spread in front of two ponies you just met. Two ponies who love you very much."

                                            > She stuck her tongue in my mouth

                                            > Her lips tasted salty and gross


                                            > She pulled away and smiled

                                            > "Come on Muffins. If you say it  he’ll stick it in. I know you want it…"


                                            > I nodded, watching his penis slide up and down between my legs.

                                            > My lips kissing his penis, leaving stings of vaginal juices along his shaft.”

                                            > “Say it Muffins! Tell him to fuck you.”

                                            > “F…F…Fuck me? Please?”


                                            > The two started to laugh again

                                            > "That was adorable!" Coco squeaked

                                            > The heat between my legs was building

                                            > “Tell him to fuck your tight little virgin pussy.”

                                            “Fu…fuck my t..t…tight virgin pussy?" I repeated with little confidence


                                            > I'm not sure about any of this


                                            > “Now say it like you mean it!”

                                            > The sensation was growing too much

                                            “Please fuck my pussy." I moaned

                                            > His penis thrusted inside me and for a moment all I could hear was a low, high pitched ringing in my ears

                                            > I looked down and saw a bulge in my stomach


                                            > He pulled out then immediately shoved his entire penis inside me again

                                            > “Look at her tremble.” Coco giggled

                                            > She grabbed my breasts and squeezed them

                                            > The orgasm was amazing

                                            > A rush of astounding, full body pleasure


                                            > He slammed his penis inside me over and over

                                            and I felt like I was falling into a hot tub.

                                            > He grabbed my back legs and held them high over his head

                                            > Coco hoovered around me like a vulture, smiling and touching my face

                                            > “Do you like it?”


                                            > I nodded

                                            > “Then you're gonna love this."


                                            > She went between my legs and began sucking on my marehood as the stallion penetrated me.

                                            > Her tongue rolled over my clitoris each time it peeled between my lips.


                                            > She grabbed my clitoris firmly in her lips then proceeded to suck and smooch my sex

                                            > The feeling was a unique ectasy


                                            > Soon, she was back hoover over my face

                                            > She pressed her lips into mine and unloaded a mouthful of spit, cum and vaginal fluids into my mouth.

                                            > Her lips were sealed over mine

                                            > I tried to spit out the nasty fluids but doing so just resulted in the bodily fluids cycling between our cheeks

                                            > Eventually, I swallowed the mixture

                                            > “I love you Muffins.” She moaned

                                            “I love you too Coco….” I coughed


                                            > The stallion started to thrust wildly until I felt him cum inside me

                                            > His cum rending my hole to a wet, sticky mess.

                                            > He chuckled to himself before wiping his brow and collapsing in bed beside me


                                            > Coco laid on my opposite side and cuddled me tightly

                                            > "I love you, Muffins." She whispered repeatedly before passing out


                                            > She may be a little strange

                                            > But she’s the most honest pony I know…


                                            Twilight:


                                            > The pony at the door knocked frantically for the third time

                                            > Lightning flashed across the room

                                            > Above my bed the clock read 2:38 AM

                                            > Who in the right mind would be knocking on my door at this hour in a storm?

                                            > The knocking continued

                                            > I dragged myself out of bed and shuffled though the trash and opened the door


                                            > Marble groaned and stared at me as I walked through the room

                                            "Don't give me that look. It's probably YOUR sister after all."


                                            > I opened the door

                                            > It was Dash and Fluttershy

                                            > Fluttershy had some weird mask on her face with the look of abject fear in her eye

                                            > Dash was drunk off her flank, her entire backside bandaged.

                                            > Dash staggered inside carrying a large, soaked sack over her shoulder.


                                            > "Twilight! I know you said don't…But I did!" She slurred before falling face first into a pile of empty wine bottles


                                            > I did the only thing I could

                                            > I turned to Fluttershy and berated her

                                            "Fluttershy! I told her to go home! Why did you let her drink!?"

                                            > "I..I told her not to, but she was REALLY persistent."


                                            > It took me a moment to realize what she was wearing over her face

                                            “Hey! Is that my underwear?”


                                            > “Ummm…..I don’t know. Is it?”

                                            "Give me those!" I said tearing them off her face

                                            > “So you're the pony who's been stealing my underwear! I’ve been blaming Pinkie for weeks!”

                                            “I’m not stealing them…I just..Found them.”


                                            > Dash jumped to her hooves again

                                            > "Twilight, my bestest friend in the entire world! I just found the solution to all our problems!"


                                            “This better be good.” I grumbled picking Fluttershy's mane hair from my panties

                                            > Dash peaked inside the bag and started to look guilty

                                            > "Promise you won't be mad?"

                                            "I don't know…I guess it depends, doesn't it?"


                                            > "That's good…I did this out of love."

                                            > I was starting to worry


                                            "It's okay Dash. Just open the bag."

                                            >  Dash looked down into the sack again

                                            > "I just realized…I was kicked out of Wonderbolts for hitting on mares younger than me."

                                            "What does this have to do with anything?"


                                            > "I don't know…They don't let gay ponies in the Wonderbolts…But all the mares I hit on were legal, I promise. All over eighteen."

                                            >...

                                            > Now I'm REALLY starting to worry…


                                            > "I just don't want you to get the wrong idea…I can be act stupid sometimes! Like…They don't even let gay ponies into the Wonderbolts! Why did I even try? My parents were right. If I was straight I wouldn't be such a disappointment. I've disappointed my parents, my friends and myself. If AJ finds out about the things I did. I'll be all alone." She sighed


                                            “Dash, you’re a great pony, if this is about your relapse we’re not angry. Just open the bag.”


                                            > “I know…I think I just need a second. B-Because I think I'm having a moment of clarity…Like, my entire life I'm trying to go fast, Maybe it’s my trying to subconsciously fly away from my past. The trauma my parents inflicted on me, the repression, my awful mistakes….It all makes sense now! I need a pen to write this all down. Twilight, can you get me a pen?"

                                            "Open the bag!!" Fluttershy and shouted in unison


                                            > Rainbow untied the string and opened the bag

                                            > The two of us peaked inside

                                            > Inside the old, wet sack was Filthy Riches only daughter, Diamond Tiara


                                            > She was lying wet and unconscious, slightly shivering.


                                            > “Just so you know, this was a completely non sexual kidnapping. I was actually looking for his wife. But what do you think, Twilight!? We can use her as leverage against Filthy Rich and save the farm! And AJ will never have to leave Ponyville and find out about my past!"

                                            > My heart stopped

                                            > Sweet Celestia, what have they done…


                                            Theme:

                                            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHk2PtPO5wY