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MAREWEATHER (album lyrics)

By vul
Created: 2023-08-31 20:25:32
Expiry: Never

  1. #My Name Is Pinkie
  2. Yo, bass for your face!
  3. Bass for your face? Rainbow, I hope you're not going around hitting ponies upside the head with bass guitars or nothin'.
  4. It's an expression, Pinkie.
  5.  
  6. (Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my-)
  7.  
  8. Ahhh! Is whatcha said,
  9. 'cause I getcha sugar high til it gets to ya foreheads
  10. as much you try you find your brain just can't ignore this,
  11. pink horses, 'cause you know I've got that
  12. Cake… and I gotta keep my pieces!
  13. Here's the sweet bits, a pony new release, it's
  14. the pony who loves to bake, it's blowin' up in your face,
  15. and hopin' your day is made, a filly who's finna place a
  16. Smile, wide as a mile,
  17. grinning ear to ear and aisle to aisle,
  18. got these ponies on the floor, from shore to shore,
  19. Askin' for more, (dashin' from door to door!)
  20. and she's still the little filly who made Gilda squiggle like a tilde
  21. Who fits the bill, a little shrill like sarsaparilla,
  22. with vanilla, sometimes I scream,
  23. Just burstin up at the seams, but I don't mean to make a scene ya know what I mean?
  24. (Ey yo check this out!)
  25. Nope! Not my intention to ratchet up the tension
  26. Whatcha met: an injection of affectionate confection,
  27. It's infectious but I never meant to get 'em any more than a dash of salt! If fun is a planned result
  28. A mess, I must confess, you gotta break some eggs to make an egg-cellent omelette
  29. (But wait) that's not all you get
  30. (Watch as I work my gypsy magic…)
  31. a bit of batter, from the matter, this or that or timeline splatter, pat in extra hour and don't add the candy wrapper.
  32. It's all about how ya fit the wiggle in your giggle, the snortle in your chortle, the cherry in your merry
  33. The bowl's all turvy, I gotta level, and this dough is so thick ya need a shovel for this
  34. Extra sugar, extra salt, extra oil and MSG…
  35. but whatcha call lil' M s. me?
  36.  
  37. Pinkie Pie
  38. That's my name and I'm gon' play this 'til you feel so high
  39. Ponies say that she's so crazy, baby, she's the kind
  40. You can ask and she can tell but there's no reason why
  41. (Stick a- stick a- stick a- Stick a cupcake in my eye!)
  42.  
  43. Yo, Pinkie, yo, some of these ponies don't know what they're talkin 'bout, mare!
  44. These clowns are havin' a breakdown tryna keep us out the get down!
  45. But it's cool, they'll come around in a while, maybe single file…
  46. We just gotta show 'em how to party Ponyville style!
  47. Ah, hit me!
  48.  
  49. BAM! Is the sound of the party cannon, time for action, just a little bit of traction
  50. When you're pronkin' and rompin' and boppin' and walkin' and talkin' on your big four hooves, your steel horseshoes, to feel your moves,
  51. Just stompin' it silly and you ever get the feeling that the roofin' is loose and the ceiling is squealing, the furniture's burning, boots four-on-the-flooring,
  52. the fourth wall is boring and whirlin' like Soarin', the jelly is pourin'
  53. Break these fetters, things that make it better, "never" to Lavender, 'cause the end of it's met hers,
  54. refuse it, solution is a four-legged revolution of sonic confusion, we're us-ed to losin' it, and causin' up a nuisance
  55. Yes, our noise is cacophonous, whenever we be Ponkin' it, and jumpin' goes the lot of us, like a big hippopotamus, and whether or not you've got it, you wanna go…
  56.  
  57. PINKIE!!!
  58.  
  59. As ya bump this beat that disrupts the peace, turns up the heat, interrupts your sleep,
  60. a Humpty heap corrupts the meek.
  61. The casus belli is the lack of the jelly,
  62. The princess is smelly, a whiff of confetti, phew
  63. Nevertheless I'm thinkin' about the reasonin' why we just can't seem to keep our sweets
  64. and maybe the regent of Friendship seems to really need to
  65. steep in a relaxin' cup of tea if she's not the kind for the fun party
  66. you see if it were up to me, prescribe a chill suppository (whoa!)
  67.  
  68. OK, that's too harsh a line, but
  69. Some never got an inkling why,
  70. Prime time for them to piece the rhyme,
  71. Should ya mind that she can hide,
  72. In the box you think inside,
  73. Caught within the blinking eye,
  74. Try, fly and sight the Pinkie Pie
  75. (Actually, me and Twilight are cool… I'm just playing a role)
  76.  
  77. (Aaaahhh) x4
  78.  
  79. So, I hope you're down with the crew…
  80. Equestria's most dangerous group, marez wit attitude
  81. 'Cause Rainbow's Dash is out in full effect (Yo)
  82. Bump this groove, butter smooth, like F.S. (Smooth)
  83. If you can buck it down like AJ (Yeah)
  84. Or stomp it out, jump around like Pin-kay…
  85. Keep it fancy, like Rarity, y'all… (Uh huh)
  86. give Twilight a call, (Oh?)
  87. Tell her who sent ya.
  88.  
  89. Pinkie Pie,
  90. That's my name and I'm gon' play this 'til you feel so high
  91. Ponies say that she's so crazy, baby, she's the kind
  92. You can ask and she can tell but there's no reason why,
  93. (Stick a- stick a- stick a- Stick a cupcake in my eye!)
  94.  
  95. Yo we doin' this with TLC, that stands for time, laughter, and cupcakes, ya know what I'm sayin'?
  96.  
  97.  
  98. #Bucketeer
  99. Steeping in a vegetable vibe
  100. It's like your pie took a bite
  101. Your mood is rhubarb chunks strewn on the flames
  102. Your mane is afire, you're feeling soggy with blame,
  103. 'cause some days filling spills right outta the tin (ba ba beyoo)
  104. Wanna toss it to bin (ooh whoo)
  105. But you have yet got much baking to do; if
  106. You're not feeling it, then sing after me
  107.  
  108. I got a bucket fulla mares and I ain't afraid to use it
  109. So frowny face beware, 'cause I think you're gonna lose it
  110. Got ponies in a can, and you'll find there ain't much to it
  111. When faced with life's demands, least you've got your mare-y music
  112.  
  113. Got pals in corporeal form (oh whoa)
  114. Remember to keep them warm (ooh whoo)
  115. Whether a plush or patch, pillow or pin
  116. You talk to a mare, good feels fresh outta the tin
  117. So get back to filling up that cup again (a cup of flour)
  118. Salt, not more than a pinch (sweet not sour)
  119. And we'll stick by you each step of the way, so
  120. it's in confidence you really can sing
  121.  
  122. I got a bucket fulla mares and I ain't afraid to use it
  123. So frowny face beware, 'cause I think you're gonna lose it
  124. Got ponies in a can, and you'll find there ain't much to it
  125. When faced with life's demands, least you've got your mare-y music
  126. A bucket fulla mares and I ain't afraid to use it
  127. So frowny face beware, 'cause I think you're gonna lose it
  128. Got ponies in a can, and you'll find there ain't much to it
  129. When faced with life's demands, least you've got your mare-y music
  130.  
  131. Pony fever's caught on again (oh whoa)
  132. Our hooves are fast in the game (ooh ooh ooh whoa)
  133. Though some will say you're just filling the void
  134. with marechandise, you pay the price… "please buy our toys"
  135. I say it's time to get a bucket today (ba ba beyoo)
  136. And fill it up with mares (ooh whoo)
  137. The haters, the void, have got it on their hands
  138. 'cause we can withstand, you just repeat after me…
  139.  
  140. I got a bucket fulla mares and I ain't afraid to use it
  141. So frowny face beware, 'cause I think you're gonna lose it
  142. Got ponies in a can, and you'll find there ain't much to it
  143. When faced with life's demands, least you've got your mare-y music
  144. A bucket fulla mares and I ain't afraid to use it
  145. So frowny face beware, 'cause I think you're gonna lose it
  146. Got ponies in a can, and you'll find there ain't much to it
  147. When faced with life's demands, least you've got your mare-y music
  148.  
  149.  
  150. #Think Fast, Part II
  151. (incoherent vocalization)
  152.  
  153.  
  154. #January (Party Down In The Gym)
  155. Everypony always asks: what does Rainbow Dash get up to after that Wonderbolts practice session? Well, she goes to exercise at Big Fire's gym in Cloudsdale. It's a three day upper/lower/wings split, six days a week.
  156.  
  157. And they always say, Rainbow, you can't be serious! Doing a workout on top of one of the most rigorous practice routines known to ponykind? You're a psychopath. Well, I prefer the term "psycho fast."
  158.  
  159. 'Cause that's what I intend to be:
  160. The demon who's speedin', but also benchin' three for reps at least.
  161. The magical-radical-can't-catch-it so fast, but she can lateral raise up a
  162. plate and play it with intensity.
  163. Just let me get my bag, for sweatin' got my rag, my pre-workout is average, kinda tastes like trash… because I know what trash tastes like.
  164. (To reduce, reuse your refuse.)
  165. Hey!
  166. And don't forget to bring a drink…
  167. 'cause in the heat of it, she just don't need to dehydrate.
  168. Or you'll be drier with muscles on fire than that pony Twi when she's deprived of sleep and fiendin' for that sweet caffeine.
  169. I'm here to get more strong, but something's kinda wrong, (Party down in the gym…)
  170. Why do I hear a song? It's messing up my calm
  171. I'm making out the sound, it's getting kinda loud,
  172. I'm stepping in the door, what the fuck?
  173.  
  174. It's like the bottom of a rock from Froggy Bottom Bogg.
  175. Wall to wall, a conga string of fitness mockery.
  176. The oddities opposite offering my ocular orb unignorable deplorable,
  177. exploring up the world of what a workout ought to be.
  178. Then it hit me, a gimme, I felt a little dizzy.
  179. You need to be aware, me, in the month of January.
  180. When these mares are dreamin' of cleaning, the plates get to ringing,
  181. And Pinkie's in the corner singing:
  182.  
  183. Party down in the gym! (Working hard and working on a whim!)
  184. Now's the time to make a change!
  185. Party down in the gym! (Put your towels into the bin!)
  186. Working out a little strange!
  187. Party down in the gym! (Even if your form is kinda grim…)
  188. If you don't know where to begin…
  189. Party down in the gym! (Forget your six pack, you're packed in a tin!)
  190. Come on down, you'll fit right in!
  191. (gonna fit right i-)
  192.  
  193. The machines are packed, the weight racks amassed a batch of cats just havin' battles, that's so wack…
  194. I try not to acknowledge her as she balance acts on stacks of platters at the back.
  195. Now I'm repping calisthenics, 'cause these menaces can't even let us bench for just a little bit
  196. I'm not trying to discredit it if you meant it and you've checked in and sweatin', not messin', get athletic benefit
  197. But the back of my brain is telling me
  198. least half these gains are temporary in January
  199. Next month after this pain, let's wager, G,
  200. just at where, say, you'd think these mares will be?
  201. Take a check at her form, and we can see
  202. The risk to horn for injury over hypertrophy
  203. The purple unicorn, wait a minute…
  204.  
  205. RD: You're not a pegasus.
  206. TS: Oh! Hi, Rainbow!
  207. RD: What are you doing here?
  208. TS: What does it look like I'm doing?
  209. RD: No, not that. I mean, what are you doing all the way up here in Cloudsdale?
  210. TS: Well, there's a 90% off New Year's discount. Figured now's as good a time as any to work on my fitness.
  211. RD: So you just cast a cloudwalking spell and came up here by yourself.
  212. TS: Well, not just myself… do I not get to bring friends?
  213.  
  214. Party down in the gym! (Working hard and working on a whim!)
  215. Now's the time to make a change!
  216. Party down in the gym! (Put your towels into the bin!)
  217. Working out a little strange!
  218. Party down in the gym! (Even if your form is kinda grim…)
  219. If you don't know where to begin…
  220. Party down in the gym! (Forget your six pack, you're packed in a tin!)
  221. Come on down, you'll fit right in!
  222.  
  223. TS: Are you seriously going to tell me that you didn't notice Pinkie Pie just standing over there.
  224. RD: Well, she's Pinkie Pie. I'm not going to ask a question like that when it comes to her.
  225. TS: Or, you know, any of the other Earth ponies or unicorns running around.
  226. RD: Well, normally, I would be trying to focus on my workout. But I guess thanks to that discount and you, things are getting a little crazy around here.
  227. RD: And can you stop doing that?
  228. TS: What?
  229. RD: It's driving me nuts.
  230. TS: What? What am I not supposed to be doing?
  231. RD: Stop using your magic at the bottom of every rep.
  232. TS: I need to use effort to use my magic too!
  233. RD: Yeah, but then it's not a bench press! If you want to do bench presses, then don't use your magic!
  234. TS: Oh, whatever… Why are you being such a pain about this?
  235.  
  236. Party down in the gym! (Working hard and working on a whim!)
  237. Now's the time to make a change!
  238. Party down in the gym! (Put your towels into the bin!)
  239. Working out a little strange!
  240. Party down in the gym! (Even if your form is kinda grim…)
  241. If you don't know where to begin…
  242. Party down in the gym! (Forget your six pack, you're packed in a tin!)
  243. Come on down, you'll fit right in!
  244.  
  245. Timbale solo!
  246. (Timbale solo with Pinkie Pie ad libbing)
  247. Stomp those hooves if this gets you in the groove!
  248. Down in the gym, so it's time to show your moves!
  249. Work those weights like they owe something to you!
  250. Pump that iron like you've got nothing to lose!
  251.  
  252. (Pinkie Pie kazoo)
  253. Party down in the gym! Hoo!
  254. If you don't know where to begin…
  255. Party down in the gym!
  256. Come on down, you'll fit right in!
  257.  
  258.  
  259. #Daisies
  260. (Oooh) x2
  261.  
  262. Here's your daisies, ma'am
  263. Floated on the table cloth
  264. Slid with poise and Prench appeal
  265. Well, enjoy your meal
  266. And you'll never guess what I tried
  267. What's wrong with my silly mind?
  268. 'cause out of my mouth plopped "You too"
  269. Was I about to serve him too?
  270.  
  271. Oooh
  272. What a fiasco…
  273.  
  274. Oh, I should just stay away
  275. I can't live up to this, and anyway
  276. If I were any louder
  277. My curse, my words
  278. Worth nothing more than a laugh
  279. Something like that
  280.  
  281. Um… na na na…
  282. Ponyfeathers.
  283. like the other day
  284. 'Cause I forgot what to say
  285. 'Cause I'm the queen of not getting the clue
  286. Mind blank at the wildlife enthusiast club
  287. I mumbled, (Um, I'm a wildlife enthusiast
  288. And I, uh, like animals, like parakeets…)
  289.  
  290. Oh whoa
  291. Na na na…
  292.  
  293. Oh, I should just stay away
  294. I can't live up to this, and anyway
  295. If I were any louder
  296. My curse, my words
  297. Worth nothing more than a laugh
  298. Yeah…
  299.  
  300. (Oooh) x4
  301.  
  302. Got my daisies in a row
  303. And every day another seed I sow
  304. Every time I try to speak
  305. Every line that I don't mean
  306. Every eye I fail to meet
  307. How's it so easy for you?
  308. I've just got a mouthful of soup
  309. You've got those crystal words
  310. You're cut to the thread, always heard
  311.  
  312. Ooh
  313. Na na na
  314.  
  315. Oh, I should just stay away
  316. I can't live up to this, and anyway
  317. If I were any louder
  318. My curse, my words
  319. Worth nothing more than a laugh
  320. Huh…
  321.  
  322.  
  323. #Checklist
  324. RD: That spaghetti was great! I'd definitely crash that buffet one more time.
  325. TS: It sure was! Although with the way you were eating, I'm not sure they'd let you back in.
  326. RD: I was hungry! Gotta get those carbs to recover, you know what I'm saying?
  327. TS: Ah, excuse me. (teleports checklist in) Lunch with Rainbow Dash, check!
  328. (pause)
  329. TS: What? Spike's out helping Rarity find gems. Stop looking at me like that.
  330. RD: So you're just gonna teleport that thing everywhere you go?
  331. TS: That thing is a checklist! It's very important to me!
  332. RD: Heh, at least I know you're always gonna be more of an egghead than me. I can't imagine checking off every little thing I do throughout the entire day. Bust some clouds, check. Flight practice, check. Lunch, check. Take my afternoon nap, check. Re-read Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone for the seventieth time, check. I don't need a list to tell me what to do.
  333. TS: Oh, shows how much you know. The merits of checklists are endless! Reliability, motivation, self-accountability, defining the scope of work, documentation… Wait!
  334. (RD: You've got to be kidding me…)
  335. TS: I feel a song coming on.
  336.  
  337. Sun shines in, cast the blanket off, much to do
  338. I've gotta get my hooves to ground
  339. Gonna make the best of sixteen hours now
  340. Sorting the books out,
  341. Make time for lunch with Dash and study too
  342. Practice my spells, teleportin' with the groceries
  343.  
  344. Maybe I can keep it all
  345. In my little unicorn head
  346. Clever pony's what some said
  347. But I know
  348. There's always some times that we forget
  349. Then I'll wish I'd had a
  350.  
  351. Checklist
  352. All the tasks that Twilight's plannin' to get done
  353. I'm talkin' 'bout my checklist
  354. Itemized discretely, step through one by one
  355.  
  356. (OK, this is a whole new level of eggheadedness.)
  357.  
  358. Books profuse,
  359. Haycartes, Neightzsche, which is next to peruse?
  360. Buffet line prioritizing
  361. Thinking on my pasta ambiguously
  362.  
  363. Attention is a scarce resource
  364. You've got to prep, commit to ink
  365. There's no time for makeshift plans
  366. You'll be sure
  367. When it's listed out in rows to read,
  368. Then you'll understand my
  369.  
  370. Checklist
  371. Nothing holds direction like the written word
  372. I'm talkin' 'bout my checklist
  373. Even if somepony's calling you a nerd
  374. Checklist
  375. All the tasks that Twilight's plannin' to get done
  376. I'm talkin' 'bout my checklist
  377. Itemized discretely, step through one by one
  378.  
  379. A friend to any mare so she won't forget
  380. Among the many merits not listed yet, the ability to document takes spot to be the topper if your process has a lot to it and smooth it's how it's gotta run
  381. To refer,
  382. What's to do, what's been done, and what's deferred, ha!
  383. if you ever wondered what you did the day before,
  384. The prior written checklist, babe you can't ignore
  385. Twilight stands to utilize the written word,
  386. A hand above the inveterate herd
  387. It doubles as a cylinder, when trouble comes up looking for, just roll it up and smack 'em with the list
  388. I tell 'em this, explicitly, the checklist gives to me, close capability
  389. and still make time for tea, the list is all I need, the list is all you see
  390.  
  391. A wise book I came across once read
  392. The future is writ within boxes and checks
  393. And frankly boss, your hesitancy to adopt has got me at a loss
  394. 'cause with a checklist even you would remember to floss.
  395.  
  396. Checklist
  397. Nothing gives me quality of sleep
  398. Checklist
  399. Walking down that line of checks so neat
  400. Checklist
  401. All the tasks that Twilight's plannin' to get done
  402. I'm talkin' 'bout my checklist
  403. Itemized discretely, step through one by one
  404.  
  405. RD: Well, that's nice and all, but I can feel my nap coming on. Gotta go…
  406.  
  407.  
  408. #Mare Weather
  409. Goggles on and you're ready to fly
  410. But what's that floatin' there way up in the sky
  411. Cherry Berry takes a breath and looks up and sighs
  412. (Big dark cloud coming down)
  413. Last week the water tower came down again
  414. It was those rascals Applebloom and her friends
  415.  
  416. And we can say we're sorry 'bout your pain
  417. Take it up with Mayor Mare about the rain
  418. And if the cloud happens to push your way
  419. You just say "another day of mare weather"
  420.  
  421. Is it luck or design
  422. (It's the mare weather)
  423. The stories that they write from the sky
  424. (Make the mare wetter)
  425. Who can find the reason or rhyme
  426.  
  427. Soaked in mud, the balloon's stowed away
  428. 'Cause bathing in a basket don't get much ticket pay
  429. Is she too nice to go to town hall and knock and complain?
  430. (Knock knock Mare, do you dare)
  431. "The schedule didn't tell about no cats and dogs!
  432. And I feel like a cat that just took a bath, and I smell like wet dog."
  433. "I'm just as surprised as you…
  434. weather patrol didn't tell me they were going to do a downpour today."
  435.  
  436. Though the wind and rain may bother us so
  437. This one's one you'll chalk up to weather patrol
  438. And Cherry Berry's getting sick of the soak
  439. And the cold, how it goes with mare weather
  440.  
  441. Is it luck or design
  442. (It's the mare weather)
  443. The stories that they write from the sky
  444. (Make the mare wetter)
  445. Who can find the reason or rhyme
  446.  
  447. (So in a flurry of splashing mud, Cherry Berry set off to find the next pony responsible for her troubles.)
  448.  
  449. Hey! Have you seen Rainbow Dash?
  450. I'm going to give her a piece of my mind
  451. In the clouds taking a nap
  452. Sprinkle don't tell me that now you can't fly
  453. (C'mon get up there and find her!)
  454.  
  455. Here I am, why so sour?
  456. What's with the clouds and the wind and the rain
  457. Scheduled rain on the hour
  458. Cloudchaser forgot to tell town hall again
  459. (Sorry about that, I'll talk to her later…)
  460.  
  461. But the apples need the water all the same
  462. So take it up with Applejack about the rain
  463. Or throw your hooves up with your grumpy face
  464. And just say "another day of mare weather"
  465.  
  466. Is it luck or design
  467. The stories that they write from the sky
  468. Who can find the reason or rhyme
  469.  
  470. Sometimes they call what we do "weather control"
  471. But the truth is that the weather touches every soul
  472. Sometimes the weather doesn't go your way
  473. Best get your umbrella hat and watch for rain
  474.  
  475. (Tired, soggy, and disheartened, Cherry Berry returned to her home. unsure if she had actually learned anything. But she did take a nice warm shower as the thunder rumbled and the rain pattered outside.)
  476.  
  477.  
  478. #Everything But The Kitchen Sink!
  479. Stitch and hem, I shut the door and lock the book again
  480. Vintage froth, the bottle's dry and staring back on murky bends
  481. Life well worth its weight in fashion, a smoking candle flame
  482. Next to the clever pools of wax adorning history lane
  483.  
  484. Don't look down
  485. I can feel the floor giving out
  486. Time to think
  487. Time will drown the kitchen sink
  488.  
  489. Uninspired, another way to set my work to fire
  490. Smile, tired, that tower of ash just always seems to pile higher
  491. But just think of all those good deeds, the mare who followed Rules
  492. No question whose, so who would know: well, did I really lose?
  493.  
  494. Don't look down
  495. I've just got to stand my own ground
  496. All these gifts
  497. How could anypony with them miss?
  498. Time to think
  499. Time will drown the kitchen sink
  500.  
  501. Read the signs, a blank design
  502. You rocked and rolled, now here's the decline
  503. Had your time, you flew so high
  504. Riding on the smoke in your mind
  505.  
  506. Don't look down
  507. I can feel the floor giving out
  508. Nothing new
  509. Practiced line: you must follow through.
  510. Open shut
  511. Stars are out, you do what you must
  512. Time to think
  513. Time will drown the kitchen sink
  514.  
  515.  
  516. #Slice Of Sourdough
  517. Slice-of-sour-dough
  518. Salad-of-pota-to
  519. Sheet-of-lasa-gna
  520. Ro-ni-mac-ca
  521. Po-ny-add-mo
  522. Slice-of-sour-dough
  523.  
  524. It's my sandwich, can't you see
  525. This sourdough's got vitamin B
  526. And that's all I really need
  527.  
  528. Carbo loading, faster speed
  529. It's just starch and calories
  530. So don't forget the macaroni
  531.  
  532. Pasta sheets and tater meets,
  533. Just toast a slice and stack it way up high
  534.  
  535. Sheet-of-lasa-gna
  536. Ro-ni-mac-ca
  537. Po-ny-add-mo
  538. Slice-of-sour-dough
  539.  
  540. Zesty bread, the tang of life
  541. Ready, set, and take a bite
  542. It's my chow with no disguise
  543.  
  544. Got no spices, got no smoke
  545. Things to fix if close to broke
  546. Why pick mac or sheets when you can have both?
  547.  
  548. Pasta sheets and tater meets,
  549. Just toast a slice and stack it way up high
  550. My oh my
  551.  
  552. Add the wich onto the sand and
  553. Stick that landing, and then you will have…
  554.  
  555. FLUTTERSHY: Rainbow, I hope you realize that this isn't sustainable for your long term health.
  556. RAINBOW: I mean, I'm sure there's some other vitamins in here somewhere… if I just eat enough. And you know that won't be a problem!
  557. FLUTTERSHY: You need something more nutrient dense too! Like alfalfa? Or flowers? I'd never feed my animals something like that.
  558. RAINBOW: Fluttershy, you're looking at this the wrong way. I'm no Angel. I gotta get my macros in first. And when I'm rich enough, I can sweat the small stuff.
  559. FLUTTERSHY: Rich enough?
  560. RAINBOW DASH: Yeah.
  561. FLUTTERSHY: How are you going to be "rich enough" on no income?
  562. RAINBOW DASH: Um…
  563. FLUTTERSHY: Look, it's not going to kill you to eat a carrot every once in a while. And they have a lower glycemic index.
  564. RAINBOW DASH: Doesn't a lower glycemic index mean the energy is slow?
  565.  
  566. Sheet-of-lasa-gna
  567. Ro-ni-mac-ca
  568.  
  569. Still an upgrade from the trash
  570. Though the spike ain't built to last
  571. It's the way of Rainbow Crash
  572.  
  573. You could call it a mishap
  574. But when I've gotta take a nap
  575. I couldn't really give a feathered flap
  576.  
  577. Pasta sheets and tater meets,
  578. Just toast a slice and stack it way up high
  579. My oh my
  580.  
  581. Add the wich onto the sand and
  582. Stick that landing, and then you will have…
  583.  
  584. Pa- sta-and-po-ta to-sand-wich-on sourdough, it's
  585. Pa- sta-and-po-ta to-sand-wich-on sourdough, it's
  586. Pasta and pota
  587.  
  588.  
  589. #Perigee
  590. Hello, Princess. Our condolences about your sister.
  591. Ah, Frosty. Don't tell me. You think that just because my sister's gone, it's a good time to conquer Equestria?
  592. Well, yes.
  593. Get in line. Look, I'm working double shifts now. I don't have time to deal with seasonal villains the nice way anymore. So either you vacate Equestria, or I vacate you from living.
  594. Ha. Bold words from the paperwork princess. What are you going to do, legislate me out of existence?
  595.  
  596. She left me drier than a Palomino June
  597. But still the mountain winds are whispering out her tune
  598. I hear it in my sleep, it's stalking on the trail
  599. Her face is flashing, crying out to pierce the pale
  600. Lunacy, death of me,
  601. Painting the blinds, you know
  602. Babe you're gone, get along
  603. I'll be just fine
  604.  
  605. It ain't too easy with the sky upon your back
  606. Cast out the castle, left the good things in the past
  607. The sun and moon, the stars, all hanging by a string, pretty thing,
  608. Can you feel the pressure point of perigee
  609.  
  610. Enjoying the blizzard, Princess?
  611. OK, I think I've seen enough.
  612. Wait a minute, what are you-
  613. What was that? Sorry, could you say that again?
  614.  
  615. I met him on the rocks, a meltdown to the nines
  616. A place to paint it red, you said you wanted mine
  617. I'll warn you might find that you're crawlin' on your knees
  618. Give you the kind of stroke that got you overheat
  619. So come on babe, let me take
  620. A look at that spear
  621. Ditch the clothes, bloody nose,
  622. The smell of your fear
  623.  
  624. It ain't too easy with the sky upon your back
  625. I've got a burning itch and you give me a scratch
  626. The sun and moon, the stars, all hanging by a string, pretty thing,
  627. Can you feel the pressure point of perigee
  628.  
  629. It's tearing up my coat
  630. It's crawling at the seams
  631. So now you know the taste of it when that cut starts to bleed
  632. Can't a pony make mistakes?
  633. Gotta keep my mane sublime
  634. Keep her in shadow while the others see my light
  635. Every villain wants a taste
  636. Every hero wants a line
  637. Everypony wants to carve a piece of my behind
  638.  
  639. Don't look up, baby, but the sky's started to crack
  640. That mare you locked up seems to keep on giving back
  641. The sun and moon, the stars, all hanging by a string,
  642. The fuse has set alight, it's burning in my dreams
  643. Baby, I can taste the smoke
  644. Baby, I can see the ash,
  645. Best hope nopony pushes,
  646. 'cause they're gonna catch me in the act
  647.  
  648. It ain't too easy with the sky upon your back
  649. That firmament is fixin' up to split in half
  650. The sun and moon, the stars, all hanging by a string, pretty thing,
  651. Can you feel the pressure point of perigee
  652.  
  653.  
  654. #Tardy
  655. The chances that I took
  656. Blacked out and overbooked
  657. The sun would cruelly rise
  658. to tired reddened eyes
  659. So what's this crown really mean?
  660. What kind of friend could I be?
  661. Responsibility's all that's left of me
  662.  
  663. You made the time
  664. Wondering if you would find
  665. The friendship in that rosy light
  666. Within the stained glass, those ponies of the past
  667.  
  668. Lying at the heart of these castle walls
  669. Solitary hoofsteps that echo down the hall
  670. It's time to play pretend
  671. The ink has wet the pen
  672. Once upon a time, the story that we lived
  673. And when you read these lines, I hope you can forgive,
  674. But it seems I'm tardy again
  675.  
  676. Schedule painted red
  677. As time keeps on its tread
  678. A box of Sugarcube bakes
  679. From Pumpkin and Pound Cake
  680. Are we out of time?
  681. Another excuse of mine
  682. The hum of wedding bells, welcome to my hell
  683.  
  684. Playing that act
  685. Promising what we can't have
  686. Saying that we'll all go back
  687. While the sun floats by, the light cast on our lies
  688.  
  689. Lying at the heart of these castle walls
  690. Solitary hoofsteps that echo down the hall
  691. It's time to play pretend
  692. The ink has wet the pen
  693. Once upon a time, the story that we lived
  694. And when you read these lines, I hope you can forgive,
  695. But it seems I'm tardy again
  696.  
  697.  
  698. #Goodnight Ponyville
  699. SC: "Ponyville, this is Scoot Team, come in."
  700. SG: "This is Ponyville, go ahead, Scoot."
  701. SC: "Reporting enemy movement, approximately two klicks north of current position. Looks like they sent at least eight swarms down here, advancing from the north. I say again, eight swarms."
  702. SG: "Scoot Team, did you say eight swarms?"
  703. SC: "Eight swarms, affirmative. Visual confirmation."
  704. SG: "Stand by."
  705. SC: "Roger, standing by."
  706. SG: "Scoot Team, this is Ponyville. Evacuation order issued. Pack up and fall back to designated extraction point. Extraction team en route, five mikes… Over."
  707. SC: "Roger, initiating retreat. We're giving up the orchard?"
  708. SG: "Affirm. We've done everything we can."
  709. SC: "Roger, Ponyville. Out."
  710.  
  711. AJ: "Scoot Team, this is Ponyville actual, come in."
  712. SC: "This is Scoot Team, go ahead."
  713. AJ: "Scoot Team, the situation has shifted. Be advised friendly pegasi are providing lightning barrage fire support on enemy position in two minutes. Take cover and ensure your equipment is shielded, over."
  714. SC: "Wilco, lightning barrage noted."
  715. AJ: "Trix Team found a second force approaching from the south. Enemy engagement is unavoidable, we are en route to your location ETA ten minutes. Y'all stay safe now, ya hear?"
  716. SC: "Roger."
  717. AJ: "See you in the Crystal Empire. Out."
  718.  
  719. Smokestacks lined on horizon, will of the machine
  720. Seek and destroy 'til the world is clean
  721. Death is approaching rolling through the vale
  722. No turning tail, so give them hell
  723. Load up the carriers, stow what you can away
  724. 'cause Ponyville may never again see the light of day
  725.  
  726. RY: "Mayday mayday mayday! This is carrier seven! Buzzhoof landed on the right wing, it's trying to bore into the engine!"
  727. SP: "This is Wonder-2, Carrier Seven. Got visual on the hostile, moving to intercept."
  728.  
  729. Carriers beware that air you're breathing's full of blades
  730. Nowhere to hide, no one is safe
  731. While down below they seek the cover of the storm
  732. Maybe your gun will keep you warm
  733. Wait for the barrage to come, for they will know our pain
  734. Lightning bolts to pierce the clouds, as many as the rain
  735.  
  736. SC: "Daredevil, this is Scoot Team, these robots are getting real close. Where's that lightning barrage, over."
  737. DD: "Scoot Team, this is Daredevil actual. They've got buzzhoofs in the air right now, we're having a hard time getting in position. Hang tight."
  738. SC: "Copy that. We're sheltering in a root cellar right now but we're not gonna stay hidden for much longer, things could get messy."
  739. DD: "Everything is messy right now."
  740. SC: "Roger that. I just don't want to get turned into fried chicken if we end up in a fight. They're getting too close, give me an ETA. Over."
  741. DD: "Ugh, ten minutes?"
  742. RD: "Gimme that. Hey Daredevil Actual, this is Scoot Team Actual, did you say ten minutes? over."
  743. DD: "Affirmative, ten minutes, one-zero mikes. There's about twenty buzzhoofs between Daredevil and stormsight to your hostiles."
  744. RD: "Well then, pull some Daring Do shit, huh?"
  745. DD: (laughs) "I only Daring Do ancient ruins. Killer robots are outside my area of expertise. You're just gonna have to wait."
  746. RD: "Ten minutes is way too late, call it off."
  747. DD: "We don't have the authority to do that. Ponyville's gonna need those bots knocked out no matter what. If you're gonna start a fight, you better make it clear."
  748. RD: "Roger. Scoot Team out."
  749.  
  750. SC: "So what do we do now?"
  751. RD: "I have a plan. How are your phasers looking?"
  752. SC: "70% capacity, locked and loaded."
  753. RD: "Good enough."
  754. SC: "So what's the plan?"
  755. RD: "I'll explain it to you as we go along. Phase one: getting their attention!"
  756. RD: "Alright you cans, let's kick it!"
  757.  
  758. SC: "CONTAAAAAACT!!! AAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!! MOTHERFUCKER!!!"
  759.  
  760. RD: "Phase two: Get distance!"
  761. SC: "Huh?"
  762. RD: "Hold on tight!"
  763. SC: "Whoa!"
  764.  
  765. SC: "That's a lot of buzzhoofs…"
  766. RD: "Yeah? Well then shoot them!"
  767.  
  768. RD: "Alright, you take cover and keep your stuff shielded–gimme that radio. I'm goin' up."
  769.  
  770. RD: "Daredevil, this is Scoot Team actual, you read? How you doing on those buzzhoofs?"
  771. DD: "Scoot Team actual, I read you. Buzzhoofs are clear for now, but we're still on approach. ETA 5 mikes."
  772. RD: "No need for that, I brought them closer."
  773. DD: "Sorry, say again?"
  774. RD: "Yeah, you're gonna see them in a bit."
  775. DD: "You realize lightning barrage cannons aren't for close quarters combat, right?"
  776. RD: "Well, duh. Just wait, you'll see it in a second."
  777. DD: "Rainbow Dash, I hope to Celestia you know what you're doing."
  778.  
  779. RD: "Down we go…"
  780.  
  781. SC: "Whoa."
  782. DD: "Oh, Celestia."
  783. RD: "Do you see them now?"
  784. DD: "Yeah, we see them. Going dark, have a nice day, Rainbow Dash."
  785. RD: "Phase three, sonic rainboom!"
  786.  
  787.  
  788. #Rained In
  789. SB: "Well, that's probably the last time we're trying Cutie Mark Crusaders Balistarii."
  790. RY: "Yes, I suppose you could've aimed it at worse places than the water tower. Either way, we're getting the water now."
  791. SB: "Why are you just staring out the window, Rarity? Is something interesting happening outside?"
  792. RY: "No, darling, nothing at all. It's just that... well, I'm feeling rather uninspired today."

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