MAREWEATHER (album lyrics)


                                            #My Name Is Pinkie

                                            Yo, bass for your face!

                                            Bass for your face? Rainbow, I hope you're not going around hitting ponies upside the head with bass guitars or nothin'.

                                            It's an expression, Pinkie.


                                            (Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my-)


                                            Ahhh! Is whatcha said,

                                            'cause I getcha sugar high til it gets to ya foreheads

                                            as much you try you find your brain just can't ignore this,

                                            pink horses, 'cause you know I've got that

                                            Cake… and I gotta keep my pieces!

                                            Here's the sweet bits, a pony new release, it's

                                            the pony who loves to bake, it's blowin' up in your face,

                                            and hopin' your day is made, a filly who's finna place a

                                            Smile, wide as a mile,

                                            grinning ear to ear and aisle to aisle,

                                            got these ponies on the floor, from shore to shore,

                                            Askin' for more, (dashin' from door to door!)

                                            and she's still the little filly who made Gilda squiggle like a tilde

                                            Who fits the bill, a little shrill like sarsaparilla,

                                            with vanilla, sometimes I scream,

                                            Just burstin up at the seams, but I don't mean to make a scene ya know what I mean?

                                            (Ey yo check this out!)

                                            Nope! Not my intention to ratchet up the tension

                                            Whatcha met: an injection of affectionate confection,

                                            It's infectious but I never meant to get 'em any more than a dash of salt! If fun is a planned result

                                            A mess, I must confess, you gotta break some eggs to make an egg-cellent omelette

                                            (But wait) that's not all you get

                                            (Watch as I work my gypsy magic…)

                                            a bit of batter, from the matter, this or that or timeline splatter, pat in extra hour and don't add the candy wrapper.

                                            It's all about how ya fit the wiggle in your giggle, the snortle in your chortle, the cherry in your merry

                                            The bowl's all turvy, I gotta level, and this dough is so thick ya need a shovel for this

                                            Extra sugar, extra salt, extra oil and MSG…

                                            but whatcha call lil' M s. me?


                                            Pinkie Pie

                                            That's my name and I'm gon' play this 'til you feel so high

                                            Ponies say that she's so crazy, baby, she's the kind

                                            You can ask and she can tell but there's no reason why

                                            (Stick a- stick a- stick a- Stick a cupcake in my eye!)


                                            Yo, Pinkie, yo, some of these ponies don't know what they're talkin 'bout, mare!

                                            These clowns are havin' a breakdown tryna keep us out the get down!

                                            But it's cool, they'll come around in a while, maybe single file…

                                            We just gotta show 'em how to party Ponyville style!

                                            Ah, hit me!


                                            BAM! Is the sound of the party cannon, time for action, just a little bit of traction

                                            When you're pronkin' and rompin' and boppin' and walkin' and talkin' on your big four hooves, your steel horseshoes, to feel your moves,

                                            Just stompin' it silly and you ever get the feeling that the roofin' is loose and the ceiling is squealing, the furniture's burning, boots four-on-the-flooring,

                                            the fourth wall is boring and whirlin' like Soarin', the jelly is pourin'

                                            Break these fetters, things that make it better, "never" to Lavender, 'cause the end of it's met hers,

                                            refuse it, solution is a four-legged revolution of sonic confusion, we're us-ed to losin' it, and causin' up a nuisance

                                            Yes, our noise is cacophonous, whenever we be Ponkin' it, and jumpin' goes the lot of us, like a big hippopotamus, and whether or not you've got it, you wanna go…


                                            PINKIE!!!


                                            As ya bump this beat that disrupts the peace, turns up the heat, interrupts your sleep,

                                            a Humpty heap corrupts the meek.

                                            The casus belli is the lack of the jelly,

                                            The princess is smelly, a whiff of confetti, phew

                                            Nevertheless I'm thinkin' about the reasonin' why we just can't seem to keep our sweets

                                            and maybe the regent of Friendship seems to really need to

                                            steep in a relaxin' cup of tea if she's not the kind for the fun party

                                            you see if it were up to me, prescribe a chill suppository (whoa!)


                                            OK, that's too harsh a line, but

                                            Some never got an inkling why,

                                            Prime time for them to piece the rhyme,

                                            Should ya mind that she can hide,

                                            In the box you think inside,

                                            Caught within the blinking eye,

                                            Try, fly and sight the Pinkie Pie

                                            (Actually, me and Twilight are cool… I'm just playing a role)


                                            (Aaaahhh) x4


                                            So, I hope you're down with the crew…

                                            Equestria's most dangerous group, marez wit attitude

                                            'Cause Rainbow's Dash is out in full effect (Yo)

                                            Bump this groove, butter smooth, like F.S. (Smooth)

                                            If you can buck it down like AJ (Yeah)

                                            Or stomp it out, jump around like Pin-kay…

                                            Keep it fancy, like Rarity, y'all… (Uh huh)

                                            give Twilight a call, (Oh?)

                                            Tell her who sent ya.


                                            Pinkie Pie,

                                            That's my name and I'm gon' play this 'til you feel so high

                                            Ponies say that she's so crazy, baby, she's the kind

                                            You can ask and she can tell but there's no reason why,

                                            (Stick a- stick a- stick a- Stick a cupcake in my eye!)


                                            Yo we doin' this with TLC, that stands for time, laughter, and cupcakes, ya know what I'm sayin'?


                                            #Bucketeer

                                            Steeping in a vegetable vibe

                                            It's like your pie took a bite

                                            Your mood is rhubarb chunks strewn on the flames

                                            Your mane is afire, you're feeling soggy with blame,

                                            'cause some days filling spills right outta the tin (ba ba beyoo)

                                            Wanna toss it to bin (ooh whoo)

                                            But you have yet got much baking to do; if

                                            You're not feeling it, then sing after me


                                            I got a bucket fulla mares and I ain't afraid to use it

                                            So frowny face beware, 'cause I think you're gonna lose it

                                            Got ponies in a can, and you'll find there ain't much to it

                                            When faced with life's demands, least you've got your mare-y music


                                            Got pals in corporeal form (oh whoa)

                                            Remember to keep them warm (ooh whoo)

                                            Whether a plush or patch, pillow or pin

                                            You talk to a mare, good feels fresh outta the tin

                                            So get back to filling up that cup again (a cup of flour)

                                            Salt, not more than a pinch (sweet not sour)

                                            And we'll stick by you each step of the way, so

                                            it's in confidence you really can sing


                                            I got a bucket fulla mares and I ain't afraid to use it

                                            So frowny face beware, 'cause I think you're gonna lose it

                                            Got ponies in a can, and you'll find there ain't much to it

                                            When faced with life's demands, least you've got your mare-y music

                                            A bucket fulla mares and I ain't afraid to use it

                                            So frowny face beware, 'cause I think you're gonna lose it

                                            Got ponies in a can, and you'll find there ain't much to it

                                            When faced with life's demands, least you've got your mare-y music


                                            Pony fever's caught on again (oh whoa)

                                            Our hooves are fast in the game (ooh ooh ooh whoa)

                                            Though some will say you're just filling the void

                                            with marechandise, you pay the price… "please buy our toys"

                                            I say it's time to get a bucket today (ba ba beyoo)

                                            And fill it up with mares (ooh whoo)

                                            The haters, the void, have got it on their hands

                                            'cause we can withstand, you just repeat after me…


                                            I got a bucket fulla mares and I ain't afraid to use it

                                            So frowny face beware, 'cause I think you're gonna lose it

                                            Got ponies in a can, and you'll find there ain't much to it

                                            When faced with life's demands, least you've got your mare-y music

                                            A bucket fulla mares and I ain't afraid to use it

                                            So frowny face beware, 'cause I think you're gonna lose it

                                            Got ponies in a can, and you'll find there ain't much to it

                                            When faced with life's demands, least you've got your mare-y music


                                            #Think Fast, Part II

                                            (incoherent vocalization)


                                            #January (Party Down In The Gym)

                                            Everypony always asks: what does Rainbow Dash get up to after that Wonderbolts practice session? Well, she goes to exercise at Big Fire's gym in Cloudsdale. It's a three day upper/lower/wings split, six days a week.


                                            And they always say, Rainbow, you can't be serious! Doing a workout on top of one of the most rigorous practice routines known to ponykind? You're a psychopath. Well, I prefer the term "psycho fast."


                                            'Cause that's what I intend to be:

                                            The demon who's speedin', but also benchin' three for reps at least.

                                            The magical-radical-can't-catch-it so fast, but she can lateral raise up a

                                            plate and play it with intensity.

                                            Just let me get my bag, for sweatin' got my rag, my pre-workout is average, kinda tastes like trash… because I know what trash tastes like.

                                            (To reduce, reuse your refuse.)

                                            Hey!

                                            And don't forget to bring a drink…

                                            'cause in the heat of it, she just don't need to dehydrate.

                                            Or you'll be drier with muscles on fire than that pony Twi when she's deprived of sleep and fiendin' for that sweet caffeine.

                                            I'm here to get more strong, but something's kinda wrong, (Party down in the gym…)

                                            Why do I hear a song? It's messing up my calm

                                            I'm making out the sound, it's getting kinda loud,

                                            I'm stepping in the door, what the fuck?


                                            It's like the bottom of a rock from Froggy Bottom Bogg.

                                            Wall to wall, a conga string of fitness mockery.

                                            The oddities opposite offering my ocular orb unignorable deplorable,

                                            exploring up the world of what a workout ought to be.

                                            Then it hit me, a gimme, I felt a little dizzy.

                                            You need to be aware, me, in the month of January.

                                            When these mares are dreamin' of cleaning, the plates get to ringing,

                                            And Pinkie's in the corner singing:


                                            Party down in the gym! (Working hard and working on a whim!)

                                            Now's the time to make a change!

                                            Party down in the gym! (Put your towels into the bin!)

                                            Working out a little strange!

                                            Party down in the gym! (Even if your form is kinda grim…)

                                            If you don't know where to begin…

                                            Party down in the gym! (Forget your six pack, you're packed in a tin!)

                                            Come on down, you'll fit right in!

                                            (gonna fit right i-)


                                            The machines are packed, the weight racks amassed a batch of cats just havin' battles, that's so wack…

                                            I try not to acknowledge her as she balance acts on stacks of platters at the back.

                                            Now I'm repping calisthenics, 'cause these menaces can't even let us bench for just a little bit

                                            I'm not trying to discredit it if you meant it and you've checked in and sweatin', not messin', get athletic benefit

                                            But the back of my brain is telling me

                                            least half these gains are temporary in January

                                            Next month after this pain, let's wager, G,

                                            just at where, say, you'd think these mares will be?

                                            Take a check at her form, and we can see

                                            The risk to horn for injury over hypertrophy

                                            The purple unicorn, wait a minute…


                                            RD: You're not a pegasus.

                                            TS: Oh! Hi, Rainbow!

                                            RD: What are you doing here?

                                            TS: What does it look like I'm doing?

                                            RD: No, not that. I mean, what are you doing all the way up here in Cloudsdale?

                                            TS: Well, there's a 90% off New Year's discount. Figured now's as good a time as any to work on my fitness.

                                            RD: So you just cast a cloudwalking spell and came up here by yourself.

                                            TS: Well, not just myself… do I not get to bring friends?


                                            Party down in the gym! (Working hard and working on a whim!)

                                            Now's the time to make a change!

                                            Party down in the gym! (Put your towels into the bin!)

                                            Working out a little strange!

                                            Party down in the gym! (Even if your form is kinda grim…)

                                            If you don't know where to begin…

                                            Party down in the gym! (Forget your six pack, you're packed in a tin!)

                                            Come on down, you'll fit right in!


                                            TS: Are you seriously going to tell me that you didn't notice Pinkie Pie just standing over there.

                                            RD: Well, she's Pinkie Pie. I'm not going to ask a question like that when it comes to her.

                                            TS: Or, you know, any of the other Earth ponies or unicorns running around.

                                            RD: Well, normally, I would be trying to focus on my workout. But I guess thanks to that discount and you, things are getting a little crazy around here.

                                            RD: And can you stop doing that?

                                            TS: What?

                                            RD: It's driving me nuts.

                                            TS: What? What am I not supposed to be doing?

                                            RD: Stop using your magic at the bottom of every rep.

                                            TS: I need to use effort to use my magic too!

                                            RD: Yeah, but then it's not a bench press! If you want to do bench presses, then don't use your magic!

                                            TS: Oh, whatever… Why are you being such a pain about this?


                                            Party down in the gym! (Working hard and working on a whim!)

                                            Now's the time to make a change!

                                            Party down in the gym! (Put your towels into the bin!)

                                            Working out a little strange!

                                            Party down in the gym! (Even if your form is kinda grim…)

                                            If you don't know where to begin…

                                            Party down in the gym! (Forget your six pack, you're packed in a tin!)

                                            Come on down, you'll fit right in!


                                            Timbale solo!

                                            (Timbale solo with Pinkie Pie ad libbing)

                                            Stomp those hooves if this gets you in the groove!

                                            Down in the gym, so it's time to show your moves!

                                            Work those weights like they owe something to you!

                                            Pump that iron like you've got nothing to lose!


                                            (Pinkie Pie kazoo)

                                            Party down in the gym! Hoo!

                                            If you don't know where to begin…

                                            Party down in the gym!

                                            Come on down, you'll fit right in!


                                            #Daisies

                                            (Oooh) x2


                                            Here's your daisies, ma'am

                                            Floated on the table cloth

                                            Slid with poise and Prench appeal

                                            Well, enjoy your meal

                                            And you'll never guess what I tried

                                            What's wrong with my silly mind?

                                            'cause out of my mouth plopped "You too"

                                            Was I about to serve him too?


                                            Oooh

                                            What a fiasco…


                                            Oh, I should just stay away

                                            I can't live up to this, and anyway

                                            If I were any louder

                                            My curse, my words

                                            Worth nothing more than a laugh

                                            Something like that


                                            Um… na na na…

                                            Ponyfeathers.

                                            like the other day

                                            'Cause I forgot what to say

                                            'Cause I'm the queen of not getting the clue

                                            Mind blank at the wildlife enthusiast club

                                            I mumbled, (Um, I'm a wildlife enthusiast

                                            And I, uh, like animals, like parakeets…)


                                            Oh whoa

                                            Na na na…


                                            Oh, I should just stay away

                                            I can't live up to this, and anyway

                                            If I were any louder

                                            My curse, my words

                                            Worth nothing more than a laugh

                                            Yeah…


                                            (Oooh) x4


                                            Got my daisies in a row

                                            And every day another seed I sow

                                            Every time I try to speak

                                            Every line that I don't mean

                                            Every eye I fail to meet

                                            How's it so easy for you?

                                            I've just got a mouthful of soup

                                            You've got those crystal words

                                            You're cut to the thread, always heard


                                            Ooh

                                            Na na na


                                            Oh, I should just stay away

                                            I can't live up to this, and anyway

                                            If I were any louder

                                            My curse, my words

                                            Worth nothing more than a laugh

                                            Huh…


                                            #Checklist

                                            RD: That spaghetti was great! I'd definitely crash that buffet one more time.

                                            TS: It sure was! Although with the way you were eating, I'm not sure they'd let you back in.

                                            RD: I was hungry! Gotta get those carbs to recover, you know what I'm saying?

                                            TS: Ah, excuse me. (teleports checklist in) Lunch with Rainbow Dash, check!

                                            (pause)

                                            TS: What? Spike's out helping Rarity find gems. Stop looking at me like that.

                                            RD: So you're just gonna teleport that thing everywhere you go?

                                            TS: That thing is a checklist! It's very important to me!

                                            RD: Heh, at least I know you're always gonna be more of an egghead than me. I can't imagine checking off every little thing I do throughout the entire day. Bust some clouds, check. Flight practice, check. Lunch, check. Take my afternoon nap, check. Re-read Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone for the seventieth time, check. I don't need a list to tell me what to do.

                                            TS: Oh, shows how much you know. The merits of checklists are endless! Reliability, motivation, self-accountability, defining the scope of work, documentation… Wait!

                                            (RD: You've got to be kidding me…)

                                            TS: I feel a song coming on.


                                            Sun shines in, cast the blanket off, much to do

                                            I've gotta get my hooves to ground

                                            Gonna make the best of sixteen hours now

                                            Sorting the books out,

                                            Make time for lunch with Dash and study too

                                            Practice my spells, teleportin' with the groceries


                                            Maybe I can keep it all

                                            In my little unicorn head

                                            Clever pony's what some said

                                            But I know

                                            There's always some times that we forget

                                            Then I'll wish I'd had a


                                            Checklist

                                            All the tasks that Twilight's plannin' to get done

                                            I'm talkin' 'bout my checklist

                                            Itemized discretely, step through one by one


                                            (OK, this is a whole new level of eggheadedness.)


                                            Books profuse,

                                            Haycartes, Neightzsche, which is next to peruse?

                                            Buffet line prioritizing

                                            Thinking on my pasta ambiguously


                                            Attention is a scarce resource

                                            You've got to prep, commit to ink

                                            There's no time for makeshift plans

                                            You'll be sure

                                            When it's listed out in rows to read,

                                            Then you'll understand my


                                            Checklist

                                            Nothing holds direction like the written word

                                            I'm talkin' 'bout my checklist

                                            Even if somepony's calling you a nerd

                                            Checklist

                                            All the tasks that Twilight's plannin' to get done

                                            I'm talkin' 'bout my checklist

                                            Itemized discretely, step through one by one


                                            A friend to any mare so she won't forget

                                            Among the many merits not listed yet, the ability to document takes spot to be the topper if your process has a lot to it and smooth it's how it's gotta run

                                            To refer,

                                            What's to do, what's been done, and what's deferred, ha!

                                            if you ever wondered what you did the day before,

                                            The prior written checklist, babe you can't ignore

                                            Twilight stands to utilize the written word,

                                            A hand above the inveterate herd

                                            It doubles as a cylinder, when trouble comes up looking for, just roll it up and smack 'em with the list

                                            I tell 'em this, explicitly, the checklist gives to me, close capability

                                            and still make time for tea, the list is all I need, the list is all you see


                                            A wise book I came across once read

                                            The future is writ within boxes and checks

                                            And frankly boss, your hesitancy to adopt has got me at a loss

                                            'cause with a checklist even you would remember to floss.


                                            Checklist

                                            Nothing gives me quality of sleep

                                            Checklist

                                            Walking down that line of checks so neat

                                            Checklist

                                            All the tasks that Twilight's plannin' to get done

                                            I'm talkin' 'bout my checklist

                                            Itemized discretely, step through one by one


                                            RD: Well, that's nice and all, but I can feel my nap coming on. Gotta go…


                                            #Mare Weather

                                            Goggles on and you're ready to fly

                                            But what's that floatin' there way up in the sky

                                            Cherry Berry takes a breath and looks up and sighs

                                            (Big dark cloud coming down)

                                            Last week the water tower came down again

                                            It was those rascals Applebloom and her friends


                                            And we can say we're sorry 'bout your pain

                                            Take it up with Mayor Mare about the rain

                                            And if the cloud happens to push your way

                                            You just say "another day of mare weather"


                                            Is it luck or design

                                            (It's the mare weather)

                                            The stories that they write from the sky

                                            (Make the mare wetter)

                                            Who can find the reason or rhyme


                                            Soaked in mud, the balloon's stowed away

                                            'Cause bathing in a basket don't get much ticket pay

                                            Is she too nice to go to town hall and knock and complain?

                                            (Knock knock Mare, do you dare)

                                            "The schedule didn't tell about no cats and dogs!

                                            And I feel like a cat that just took a bath, and I smell like wet dog."

                                            "I'm just as surprised as you…

                                            weather patrol didn't tell me they were going to do a downpour today."


                                            Though the wind and rain may bother us so

                                            This one's one you'll chalk up to weather patrol

                                            And Cherry Berry's getting sick of the soak

                                            And the cold, how it goes with mare weather


                                            Is it luck or design

                                            (It's the mare weather)

                                            The stories that they write from the sky

                                            (Make the mare wetter)

                                            Who can find the reason or rhyme


                                            (So in a flurry of splashing mud, Cherry Berry set off to find the next pony responsible for her troubles.)


                                            Hey! Have you seen Rainbow Dash?

                                            I'm going to give her a piece of my mind

                                            In the clouds taking a nap

                                            Sprinkle don't tell me that now you can't fly

                                            (C'mon get up there and find her!)


                                            Here I am, why so sour?

                                            What's with the clouds and the wind and the rain

                                            Scheduled rain on the hour

                                            Cloudchaser forgot to tell town hall again

                                            (Sorry about that, I'll talk to her later…)


                                            But the apples need the water all the same

                                            So take it up with Applejack about the rain

                                            Or throw your hooves up with your grumpy face

                                            And just say "another day of mare weather"


                                            Is it luck or design

                                            The stories that they write from the sky

                                            Who can find the reason or rhyme


                                            Sometimes they call what we do "weather control"

                                            But the truth is that the weather touches every soul

                                            Sometimes the weather doesn't go your way

                                            Best get your umbrella hat and watch for rain


                                            (Tired, soggy, and disheartened, Cherry Berry returned to her home. unsure if she had actually learned anything. But she did take a nice warm shower as the thunder rumbled and the rain pattered outside.)


                                            #Everything But The Kitchen Sink!

                                            Stitch and hem, I shut the door and lock the book again

                                            Vintage froth, the bottle's dry and staring back on murky bends

                                            Life well worth its weight in fashion, a smoking candle flame

                                            Next to the clever pools of wax adorning history lane


                                            Don't look down

                                            I can feel the floor giving out

                                            Time to think

                                            Time will drown the kitchen sink


                                            Uninspired, another way to set my work to fire

                                            Smile, tired, that tower of ash just always seems to pile higher

                                            But just think of all those good deeds, the mare who followed Rules

                                            No question whose, so who would know: well, did I really lose?


                                            Don't look down

                                            I've just got to stand my own ground

                                            All these gifts

                                            How could anypony with them miss?

                                            Time to think

                                            Time will drown the kitchen sink


                                            Read the signs, a blank design

                                            You rocked and rolled, now here's the decline

                                            Had your time, you flew so high

                                            Riding on the smoke in your mind


                                            Don't look down

                                            I can feel the floor giving out

                                            Nothing new

                                            Practiced line: you must follow through.

                                            Open shut

                                            Stars are out, you do what you must

                                            Time to think

                                            Time will drown the kitchen sink


                                            #Slice Of Sourdough

                                            Slice-of-sour-dough

                                            Salad-of-pota-to

                                            Sheet-of-lasa-gna

                                            Ro-ni-mac-ca

                                            Po-ny-add-mo

                                            Slice-of-sour-dough


                                            It's my sandwich, can't you see

                                            This sourdough's got vitamin B

                                            And that's all I really need


                                            Carbo loading, faster speed

                                            It's just starch and calories

                                            So don't forget the macaroni


                                            Pasta sheets and tater meets,

                                            Just toast a slice and stack it way up high


                                            Sheet-of-lasa-gna

                                            Ro-ni-mac-ca

                                            Po-ny-add-mo

                                            Slice-of-sour-dough


                                            Zesty bread, the tang of life

                                            Ready, set, and take a bite

                                            It's my chow with no disguise


                                            Got no spices, got no smoke

                                            Things to fix if close to broke

                                            Why pick mac or sheets when you can have both?


                                            Pasta sheets and tater meets,

                                            Just toast a slice and stack it way up high

                                            My oh my


                                            Add the wich onto the sand and

                                            Stick that landing, and then you will have…


                                            FLUTTERSHY: Rainbow, I hope you realize that this isn't sustainable for your long term health.

                                            RAINBOW: I mean, I'm sure there's some other vitamins in here somewhere… if I just eat enough. And you know that won't be a problem!

                                            FLUTTERSHY: You need something more nutrient dense too! Like alfalfa? Or flowers? I'd never feed my animals something like that.

                                            RAINBOW: Fluttershy, you're looking at this the wrong way. I'm no Angel. I gotta get my macros in first. And when I'm rich enough, I can sweat the small stuff.

                                            FLUTTERSHY: Rich enough?

                                            RAINBOW DASH: Yeah.

                                            FLUTTERSHY: How are you going to be "rich enough" on no income?

                                            RAINBOW DASH: Um…

                                            FLUTTERSHY: Look, it's not going to kill you to eat a carrot every once in a while. And they have a lower glycemic index.

                                            RAINBOW DASH: Doesn't a lower glycemic index mean the energy is slow?


                                            Sheet-of-lasa-gna

                                            Ro-ni-mac-ca


                                            Still an upgrade from the trash

                                            Though the spike ain't built to last

                                            It's the way of Rainbow Crash


                                            You could call it a mishap

                                            But when I've gotta take a nap

                                            I couldn't really give a feathered flap


                                            Pasta sheets and tater meets,

                                            Just toast a slice and stack it way up high

                                            My oh my


                                            Add the wich onto the sand and

                                            Stick that landing, and then you will have…


                                            Pa- sta-and-po-ta to-sand-wich-on sourdough, it's

                                            Pa- sta-and-po-ta to-sand-wich-on sourdough, it's

                                            Pasta and pota


                                            #Perigee

                                            Hello, Princess. Our condolences about your sister.

                                            Ah, Frosty. Don't tell me. You think that just because my sister's gone, it's a good time to conquer Equestria?

                                            Well, yes.

                                            Get in line. Look, I'm working double shifts now. I don't have time to deal with seasonal villains the nice way anymore. So either you vacate Equestria, or I vacate you from living.

                                            Ha. Bold words from the paperwork princess. What are you going to do, legislate me out of existence?


                                            She left me drier than a Palomino June

                                            But still the mountain winds are whispering out her tune

                                            I hear it in my sleep, it's stalking on the trail

                                            Her face is flashing, crying out to pierce the pale

                                            Lunacy, death of me,

                                            Painting the blinds, you know

                                            Babe you're gone, get along

                                            I'll be just fine


                                            It ain't too easy with the sky upon your back

                                            Cast out the castle, left the good things in the past

                                            The sun and moon, the stars, all hanging by a string, pretty thing,

                                            Can you feel the pressure point of perigee


                                            Enjoying the blizzard, Princess?

                                            OK, I think I've seen enough.

                                            Wait a minute, what are you-

                                            What was that? Sorry, could you say that again?


                                            I met him on the rocks, a meltdown to the nines

                                            A place to paint it red, you said you wanted mine

                                            I'll warn you might find that you're crawlin' on your knees

                                            Give you the kind of stroke that got you overheat

                                            So come on babe, let me take

                                            A look at that spear

                                            Ditch the clothes, bloody nose,

                                            The smell of your fear


                                            It ain't too easy with the sky upon your back

                                            I've got a burning itch and you give me a scratch

                                            The sun and moon, the stars, all hanging by a string, pretty thing,

                                            Can you feel the pressure point of perigee


                                            It's tearing up my coat

                                            It's crawling at the seams

                                            So now you know the taste of it when that cut starts to bleed

                                            Can't a pony make mistakes?

                                            Gotta keep my mane sublime

                                            Keep her in shadow while the others see my light

                                            Every villain wants a taste

                                            Every hero wants a line

                                            Everypony wants to carve a piece of my behind


                                            Don't look up, baby, but the sky's started to crack

                                            That mare you locked up seems to keep on giving back

                                            The sun and moon, the stars, all hanging by a string,

                                            The fuse has set alight, it's burning in my dreams

                                            Baby, I can taste the smoke

                                            Baby, I can see the ash,

                                            Best hope nopony pushes,

                                            'cause they're gonna catch me in the act


                                            It ain't too easy with the sky upon your back

                                            That firmament is fixin' up to split in half

                                            The sun and moon, the stars, all hanging by a string, pretty thing,

                                            Can you feel the pressure point of perigee


                                            #Tardy

                                            The chances that I took

                                            Blacked out and overbooked

                                            The sun would cruelly rise

                                            to tired reddened eyes

                                            So what's this crown really mean?

                                            What kind of friend could I be?

                                            Responsibility's all that's left of me


                                            You made the time

                                            Wondering if you would find

                                            The friendship in that rosy light

                                            Within the stained glass, those ponies of the past


                                            Lying at the heart of these castle walls

                                            Solitary hoofsteps that echo down the hall

                                            It's time to play pretend

                                            The ink has wet the pen

                                            Once upon a time, the story that we lived

                                            And when you read these lines, I hope you can forgive,

                                            But it seems I'm tardy again


                                            Schedule painted red

                                            As time keeps on its tread

                                            A box of Sugarcube bakes

                                            From Pumpkin and Pound Cake

                                            Are we out of time?

                                            Another excuse of mine

                                            The hum of wedding bells, welcome to my hell


                                            Playing that act

                                            Promising what we can't have

                                            Saying that we'll all go back

                                            While the sun floats by, the light cast on our lies


                                            Lying at the heart of these castle walls

                                            Solitary hoofsteps that echo down the hall

                                            It's time to play pretend

                                            The ink has wet the pen

                                            Once upon a time, the story that we lived

                                            And when you read these lines, I hope you can forgive,

                                            But it seems I'm tardy again


                                            #Goodnight Ponyville

                                            SC: "Ponyville, this is Scoot Team, come in."

                                            SG: "This is Ponyville, go ahead, Scoot."

                                            SC: "Reporting enemy movement, approximately two klicks north of current position. Looks like they sent at least eight swarms down here, advancing from the north. I say again, eight swarms."

                                            SG: "Scoot Team, did you say eight swarms?"

                                            SC: "Eight swarms, affirmative. Visual confirmation."

                                            SG: "Stand by."

                                            SC: "Roger, standing by."

                                            SG: "Scoot Team, this is Ponyville. Evacuation order issued. Pack up and fall back to designated extraction point. Extraction team en route, five mikes… Over."

                                            SC: "Roger, initiating retreat. We're giving up the orchard?"

                                            SG: "Affirm. We've done everything we can."

                                            SC: "Roger, Ponyville. Out."


                                            AJ: "Scoot Team, this is Ponyville actual, come in."

                                            SC: "This is Scoot Team, go ahead."

                                            AJ: "Scoot Team, the situation has shifted. Be advised friendly pegasi are providing lightning barrage fire support on enemy position in two minutes. Take cover and ensure your equipment is shielded, over."

                                            SC: "Wilco, lightning barrage noted."

                                            AJ: "Trix Team found a second force approaching from the south. Enemy engagement is unavoidable, we are en route to your location ETA ten minutes. Y'all stay safe now, ya hear?"

                                            SC: "Roger."

                                            AJ: "See you in the Crystal Empire. Out."


                                            Smokestacks lined on horizon, will of the machine

                                            Seek and destroy 'til the world is clean

                                            Death is approaching rolling through the vale

                                            No turning tail, so give them hell

                                            Load up the carriers, stow what you can away

                                            'cause Ponyville may never again see the light of day


                                            RY: "Mayday mayday mayday! This is carrier seven! Buzzhoof landed on the right wing, it's trying to bore into the engine!"

                                            SP: "This is Wonder-2, Carrier Seven. Got visual on the hostile, moving to intercept."


                                            Carriers beware that air you're breathing's full of blades

                                            Nowhere to hide, no one is safe

                                            While down below they seek the cover of the storm

                                            Maybe your gun will keep you warm

                                            Wait for the barrage to come, for they will know our pain

                                            Lightning bolts to pierce the clouds, as many as the rain


                                            SC: "Daredevil, this is Scoot Team, these robots are getting real close. Where's that lightning barrage, over."

                                            DD: "Scoot Team, this is Daredevil actual. They've got buzzhoofs in the air right now, we're having a hard time getting in position. Hang tight."

                                            SC: "Copy that. We're sheltering in a root cellar right now but we're not gonna stay hidden for much longer, things could get messy."

                                            DD: "Everything is messy right now."

                                            SC: "Roger that. I just don't want to get turned into fried chicken if we end up in a fight. They're getting too close, give me an ETA. Over."

                                            DD: "Ugh, ten minutes?"

                                            RD: "Gimme that. Hey Daredevil Actual, this is Scoot Team Actual, did you say ten minutes? over."

                                            DD: "Affirmative, ten minutes, one-zero mikes. There's about twenty buzzhoofs between Daredevil and stormsight to your hostiles."

                                            RD: "Well then, pull some Daring Do shit, huh?"

                                            DD: (laughs) "I only Daring Do ancient ruins. Killer robots are outside my area of expertise. You're just gonna have to wait."

                                            RD: "Ten minutes is way too late, call it off."

                                            DD: "We don't have the authority to do that. Ponyville's gonna need those bots knocked out no matter what. If you're gonna start a fight, you better make it clear."

                                            RD: "Roger. Scoot Team out."


                                            SC: "So what do we do now?"

                                            RD: "I have a plan. How are your phasers looking?"

                                            SC: "70% capacity, locked and loaded."

                                            RD: "Good enough."

                                            SC: "So what's the plan?"

                                            RD: "I'll explain it to you as we go along. Phase one: getting their attention!"

                                            RD: "Alright you cans, let's kick it!"


                                            SC: "CONTAAAAAACT!!! AAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!! MOTHERFUCKER!!!"


                                            RD: "Phase two: Get distance!"

                                            SC: "Huh?"

                                            RD: "Hold on tight!"

                                            SC: "Whoa!"


                                            SC: "That's a lot of buzzhoofs…"

                                            RD: "Yeah? Well then shoot them!"


                                            RD: "Alright, you take cover and keep your stuff shielded–gimme that radio. I'm goin' up."


                                            RD: "Daredevil, this is Scoot Team actual, you read? How you doing on those buzzhoofs?"

                                            DD: "Scoot Team actual, I read you. Buzzhoofs are clear for now, but we're still on approach. ETA 5 mikes."

                                            RD: "No need for that, I brought them closer."

                                            DD: "Sorry, say again?"

                                            RD: "Yeah, you're gonna see them in a bit."

                                            DD: "You realize lightning barrage cannons aren't for close quarters combat, right?"

                                            RD: "Well, duh. Just wait, you'll see it in a second."

                                            DD: "Rainbow Dash, I hope to Celestia you know what you're doing."


                                            RD: "Down we go…"


                                            SC: "Whoa."

                                            DD: "Oh, Celestia."

                                            RD: "Do you see them now?"

                                            DD: "Yeah, we see them. Going dark, have a nice day, Rainbow Dash."

                                            RD: "Phase three, sonic rainboom!"


                                            #Rained In

                                            SB: "Well, that's probably the last time we're trying Cutie Mark Crusaders Balistarii."

                                            RY: "Yes, I suppose you could've aimed it at worse places than the water tower. Either way, we're getting the water now."

                                            SB: "Why are you just staring out the window, Rarity? Is something interesting happening outside?"

                                            RY: "No, darling, nothing at all. It's just that... well, I'm feeling rather uninspired today."