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Functional Dysfunction: Arc 1-Memories and Mistakes By combatcomma

By Guest
Created: 2023-11-06 00:45:46
Expiry: Never
twilight sparkletrixiestarlight glimmer/rgre/reverse gender rolestimberwolftimberwolvescombatcomma

  1. >It's another fine day in Equestria.
  2. >Or it would be if you could get some red fucking meat!
  3. >You spent your first month or so here in the woods hunting and doing cool shit.
  4. >Then some talking pony came along and said "Oh, please don't eat that manticore, mister. He's my friend."
  5. >It was at this point you realized you probably weren't on Earth anymore.
  6. >...
  7. >You're a little slow aren't you?
  8. >Eh, whatever.
  9. >That's not important.
  10. >What's important is your lack of red meat.
  11. >Fish was easy to come by.
  12. >Same with shrimp and even lobster, since it helps with pegasi wings or something.
  13. >You had that shit for a whole week and it was the best.
  14. >But their flesh could only sustain you for so long.
  15. >So here you were in the market, hoping beyond hope that somebody had that supple red.
  16. >You would go and get some from the forest, but your herd won't let you walk in there without them.
  17. >Trixie had a decent idea of hiking and camping but none of hunting, obviously.
  18. >She was kind of scared of the forest, but managed herself all right with you around.
  19. >Starlight could dish out all kinds of fancy spells, with maybe even one or two to have the critters skin and season themselves.
  20. >However, she simply couldn't handle the woods.
  21. >It wasn't that she was scared, it was just that she had no sense of how to do anything.
  22. >Her pride demanded she act tough but she'd get lost, trip over her own hooves, or something generally worse.
  23. >You had to haul her back to town with a broken leg once, which marked the last of your hunting trips.
  24. >You look around the market and the only thing you see of note is Pinkie setting up a popcorn stand.
  25. >You sigh.
  26. >Starlight looks up at you from her position in your arms, her front left leg wrapped in a cast.
  27. >"I'm sorry, Anon. If I had been watching where I was going I wou-"
  28. >BAP
  29. >Starlight stares at the rolled up newspaper that had just swatted her across the nose.
  30. >"What was that for?"
  31. "You were going to say how horrible you are and somehow tie in that you were a cult leader once."
  32. >You had taken to swatting her nose when she tried to bring up the cult nonsense or got all mopey.
  33. >Trixie got the paper whenever she acted up or did something that's probably illegal.
  34. >The paper had been in use for a week and it was practically in tatters and had equal mileage between the two mares.
  35. >"Trixie must agree, your moping is incredibly tiresome. You simply needed to invite the cunning and skilled Trixie and you would not be humiliated in such a fashion as this."
  36. >BAP
  37. >"Ah, hey!"
  38. >Since these two refused to act like it you had to be the responsible adult.
  39. >And boy did you hate it.
  40. >You roll your eyes and keep moving, noting that Pinkies already drawn in a crowd who are watching the three of you.
  41. >Is that caramel corn?
  42. >Maybe she'll give you some of the leftovers.
  43. >"I wouldn't exactly call it humiliating. I mean he's warm and it feels nice to be carried around like this."
  44. >You've got to say, when these two came up to you asking to start a herd, you were beyond surprised.
  45. >"It is beyond humiliating to be carried around like a father carries around his foal! Being coddled after receiving such a small injury."
  46. >You were good friends with Trixie first since she was just a show boat and didn't care about you having a dick.
  47. >Rainbow was similar but cared very much about your dick.
  48. >"A small injury?! I BROKE MY BU-"
  49. >You wave the newspaper in front of Starlights face, instantly getting her attention.
  50. "Language. There are children here ladies."
  51. >You know Trixie wants to laugh, but she knows full well she'll be getting the paper if she does.
  52. >Instead the small crowd following the three of you starts snickering and muttering.
  53. >You look back and see at least a dozen ponies with even more marching from Pinkies cart.
  54. >The polygamy thing was weird to you, but you quickly accepted it.
  55. >What you really took issue with was the semi-hazing you and your girls got.
  56. >Nothing like you'd see in college, for you at least, but usually stuff like this.
  57. >With a lack of T.V.s ponies needed entertainment and they had that in herd drama.
  58. >The early days were very important, as Rarity told you, to determine who is the Alpha and your mares will want others to see that.
  59. >Although the early days are long gone and these two have been squabbling for months.
  60. >"As I was saying, I have a broken leg. Would you like to know what it feels like?"
  61. >Starlight's all kinds of mad, but you're in public so you should probably wrangle these two in.
  62. "Girls-"
  63. >"Well how about you come down here and actualy do something, Starlight."
  64. >Trixie charges in front of you forcing you to stop.
  65. >She looks up at the pink flank above her, levels her horn, and jumps.
  66. >Judging by the squeal you know exactly where that horn went.
  67. >You pull Starlight higher up, trying to look her over without being inappropriate.
  68. "Starlight?! Are you-"
  69. >"You raging cock train! I will break your horn off and shove it so far up your plothole that you'll have to rewrite your autobiography!"
  70. >Yeah, she's fine.
  71. >You sigh, doing your best to come up with a plan.
  72. >Spotting Applejack watching the scene, a grin slowly forms on your face.
  73. >This could work.
  74. "Do you want down?"
  75. >"Yep. Put me down. I'm going to show this mare her place."
  76. >You put Starlight down and step back.
  77. >"Alright Trixie, just because you're my herd sister doesn't mean I'll go easy on you."
  78. >You make your way towards AJ and put your newspaper away.
  79. >"Enough bluster! The glorious and combat hardened Trixie shall lay you low with a single spell!"
  80. >You make it to AJ's stall and reach behind the counter.
  81. >"H-hey whatcha doin' there-"
  82. "I'll give it back."
  83. >You pull out a lasso that AJ keeps handy and make your way back.
  84. >It's time to put an end to these Alpha fights.
  85. >The two mares have their horns locked and are angrily screaming at eachother.
  86. >These fucking mares.
  87. >You reach into your pocket and pull out two horn rings.
  88. >It was a combination gift/apology thingy from Twilight.
  89. >She was worried about you being with these two, Trixie in particular.
  90. >Then you 'cockwhipped' Trixie right in front of her.
  91. >Really you just used your newspaper but she found it hilarious enough to invite Trixie over to the castle.
  92. >And since you hit some kind of horse dating threshold, they now live in your room.
  93. >With these two having their horns so close together this next step is very easy.
  94. >You slip the horn rings on, the cut mana feed shutting them both up instantly.
  95. >"W-what did you do to Trixie!?"
  96. >"Anon where did you get these?"
  97. >Trixie's rubbing at her horn with her hooves while Starlight looks to be in the middle of fear and confusion.
  98. >You point at Starlight.
  99. "Stay."
  100. >You don't wait for a response before you roll Trixie over.
  101. >"W-what are you doing? Why can't I use magic? Why do you have rope?!"
  102. "It's for a magic trick. I'm going to make two idiots behave for a second."
  103. >You start to hogtie Trixie, making sure she can't wiggle out of the rope.
  104. >"You can't do this! I-mmph"
  105. >You stuff the newspaper into Trixies mouth, shutting her up for a moment.
  106. >You look over to Starlight, who tenses at your gaze but has otherwise followed your singular order.
  107. >You take the newspaper and step back from your handiwork, looking down at the two mares.
  108. "Who is the Alpha?!"
  109. >>"I am!"
  110. >They answered simulataneously, but neither gave the answer you wanted.
  111. >BAP
  112. >BAP
  113. "Who is the alpha?!"
  114. >"I am!"
  115. >Naturally Trixie's a little slow on the uptake.
  116. >BAPBAP
  117. "One more time."
  118. >You level the paper at the two mares.
  119. "Who is the alpha?"
  120. >Your girls look between each other and then back to you.
  121. >"...Twilight?"
  122. >"Trixie would not allow such a commoner in our herd! We are-"
  123. >BAPBAPBAPBAPBAPBAPBAPBAPBAPBAP
  124. "I am the Alpha! Holy shit! No wonder the guys in this world have to go to spas so much if they have to put up with idiots like you two all the time! Jesus Christ! I just wanted a fucking steak but appearantly I'm too delicate to go hunting on my own, so one of you two insist on coming with me. But neither of you can manage it! Both of you are beyond capable but as soon as you set foot in those woods it's like you forget how to function!"
  125. >You take a moment and get a good look at the girls...
  126. >...and realize that you probably fucked up.
  127. >Trixies legs are still tied and up in the air, she's facing away from you so you can't see her face.
  128. >What you can see is the slight tremors racking her frame.
  129. >Starlight has her broken leg out at an angle, trying to keep weight off of it.
  130. >Her head is held low but you can clearly see the tears dripping to the ground.
  131. >You feel your gut twist in a knot.
  132. "Girls, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"
  133. >"Yes, you did."
  134. >You lock up at Trixies words.
  135. >She turns to face you with tears in her eyes.
  136. >"And you are absolutely right Anonymous. Starlight and I have been acting like foals over Alpha status and we've seen how it's been eating you up."
  137. >"I don't know what's wrong with me."
  138. >You look over to Starlight, who is having trouble facing you.
  139. >"Everything I try to do just falls apart in front of me. I made a bucking cult, I can't make friends right, and now I find I can't love right either."
  140. >God damn it.
  141. >You're a real piece of shit, aren't you?
  142. >You sigh for what may be the hundredth time today and start to walk towards Trixie.
  143. >You grab the slack hanging from the knot and pull the mare into the air, getting a small squawk of displeasure.
  144. >You gently set her down next to Starlight so that she's facing you.
  145. >You scratch behind Trixies ear and rub Starlights cheek.
  146. "Okay, so here's some shit logic for you two. All three of us are horrible, horrible people. As such, we should stay off the dating market. And since we're currently dating we should keep doing that so the three of us have someone."
  147. >Both mares look at you with just a glimmer of hope.
  148. >"Y-you'd stay with us even though Trixie and I..."
  149. >You do your best to hug both mares, although it's a little hard with the broken leg and Trixie on the ground.
  150. "So long as you'd have an asshole like me."
  151. >Starlight leans into the hug and snickers.
  152. >"It's not your asshole we're interested in. But yes, Anon. There's no one else I'd rather have."
  153. >"Trixie agrees completely. You are staying with us and that's that."
  154. >You roll your eyes and smile at your girls
  155. >"Aaaawwwww."
  156. >Your head whips around to see the crowd you had completely forgotten about.
  157. >Fuck.
  158. >A poking in your chest draws your attention away from them to Starlight.
  159. >She looks from you to her horn and back.
  160. >In about three seconds the ring is off and the three of you are back in your room.
  161. >"Ah, wonderful! Can Trixie be untied now?"
  162. >"Nope, I don't want my pillow squirming around."
  163. >You smile as Trixie squirms and whines in Starlights magic but settles down once she's placed on the bed.
  164. >You pick up Starlight and place her so she's using Trixies belly as a pillow.
  165. >You move to get in bed with them but something catches your eye.
  166. >Walking over to the night stand and find a decent sized bag of caramel corn, a massive bag of popcorn and a note.
  167. >You open the note and see the writing is in pink crayon.
  168. >'Hey, you three! Sorry you had a case of the grumps today but I'm glad it worked out. This is the leftover popcorn I made today and I totally thought you three should have it because I made a whole bucket of bits off of you. Like an actual bucket! Who needs safes or vaults when you have buckets!'
  169. >...
  170. >You are displeased.
  171. >But the caramel corn is still warm.
  172. >Oh well.
  173. >You've got snacks and ponies.
  174. >What more do you really need?
  175. ----------
  176. >The next morning comes and you find yourself making breakfast with Spike.
  177. >You weren't great at most of the domestic stuff but you could definitely cook.
  178. >There's pancakes, eggs, biscuits, and the heretical abomination known as hay-bacon.
  179. >When you first heard of it you had been hopeful, despite the name.
  180. >Turns out it was just as heinous as it sounded.
  181. >Still better than turkey bacon though.
  182. >You think back to last night
  183. >The three of you had spent a long time talking and trying to clear things up with each other.
  184. >Starlight had some of her own grievances with the two of you, and appearantly bottling things up is bad for unicorns.
  185. >Trixie was oddly quiet through the night so the three of you just agreed to try to stop being such idiots.
  186. >Trixie...
  187. >You had woken up to find her gone this morning.
  188. >Starlight said she'd be fine, but after a fight like that you can't help but think she's going to take her wagon and leave.
  189. >You're brought out of your thoughts by a tapping on your leg.
  190. >You look down to see Spike with a worried expression.
  191. >"You okay there, big guy?"
  192. >You shrug off the question along with the looming dread.
  193. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking."
  194. >He pats your leg and gives you a small smile.
  195. >"Go be with Starlight, buddy. Everything's about done I've got this."
  196. >You can't do that.
  197. >There's work to do.
  198. "The eggs-"
  199. >"I can handle the eggs too. Go see her."
  200. >Nuh-uh
  201. "You haven't cooked my biscuits before! How-"
  202. >"Anon. They're biscuits. They're pretty hard to mess up."
  203. "Are you calling my biscuits basic bitches?!"
  204. >"Anon this is my kitchen. Get out."
  205. >You take a step back from the dragon who stands just above your knees.
  206. "Excuse me?"
  207. >He points to a cart loaded with plates and silverware.
  208. >"The table still isn't set anyways so take that cart and set that table."
  209. >A little dazed at Spike 'pulling rank' you move the cart towards the door.
  210. >You try to figure out your next step when Spike speaks up again.
  211. >"She'll come back, don't you worry."
  212. >Stupid, totally not psychic dragon.
  213. >You take a bracing breath and move forward.
  214. >The cart slides into the dining room and you find Starlight using magic on her cast.
  215. "You know the doctors said not to actively charge that, right?"
  216. >She locks eyes with you, looking like a cake in front of Celestia.
  217. >You've seen some shit.
  218. >"I'm not trying to charge it, I just have an itch! And with this healing ward on the cast and the cast itself I can't scratch it!"
  219. >Casts were different here.
  220. >They took gem dust and a certain herbs and wound it into the cast material to help it heal faster and better.
  221. >They soaked in ambient magic and especially unicorn magic.
  222. >Starlights cast had Catsfoot, which was good for healing legs somehow.
  223. >You roll the cart up next to her and take a look.
  224. "Where at? Think I can get it?"
  225. >A small bead of light appears near the top of her cast.
  226. >"You see that? It's a little bit in there but your fingers might reach."
  227. >You snake a finger down the cast and do your best to help her.
  228. >"Ooh, yep. Little to the right. Thank you, Nons."
  229. >You make your way back to the cart only to be pulled back by a tugging on your sleeve.
  230. >Starlight pulls you down and nuzzles deeply into your neck.
  231. >"I mean that. Thank you for putting up with both of us. And believe me when I say you're not so bad yourself."
  232. >You warm at your mares touch as well as her words, but can't help the uneasy feeling in your gut.
  233. "S-she'll come back right? I didn't-"
  234. >"Y'know, Trixie and I thought you'd be a pretty good stallion because you didn't get all emotional and whiny."
  235. "Hey!"
  236. >Starlight giggles to herself and looks up at you.
  237. >"Where's that newspaper? Maybe I should give you a couple of smacks with it for being mopey. She'll be back, Anon. She'll come back with something and proclaim how superior she is and that she is now the Alpha."
  238. >You roll your eyes.
  239. "Oh fuck me. We're still not done with that Alpha shit?"
  240. >"Nope!"
  241. >There is far too much cheer in her voice.
  242. "So that means I put on a big show for nothing."
  243. >"I wouldn't say it was for nothing. It really helped clear the air between the three of us. I know I told you earlier, but if you want to know more about herds and stuff I'm sure Twilight has a book or you can go back to Rarity."
  244. >Speaking of Twilight.
  245. >You scoop up the mare in front of you and step away from the table.
  246. >"Wha-"
  247. "I smell coffee."
  248. >This gets a little chuckle out of Starlight as she raises a barrier around the two of you.
  249. >The coffee had been brewing for awhile and the smell was pretty strong so Twilight should-
  250. >POP
  251. >THUD
  252. >"Coffee."
  253. >Twilight lands in the center of the thankfully not set table.
  254. >You think it's funny how she's practically full on 'Praise It' but she's not a morning person.
  255. "Hello to you too, Twilight."
  256. >"Coffee."
  257. >She can't quite communicate yet, but she does wave a wing at the two of you.
  258. "There's some brewing in the kitchen, it'll be done soon."
  259. >"Coffee."
  260. >Twilight slides off the table and tries to stand up.
  261. >"So what'd you want to do today?"
  262. >You mull over Starlights question.
  263. >Obviously you want to know if Trixie will come back, but this isn't the first time she's done some bullshit like this.
  264. >You open your mouth to ask her if she has any ideas when you hear the impact of horn on wood.
  265. >You both look over to see Twilight with her horn embedded in the kitchen door.
  266. >"Mmm. Nrgh. Coffee. Spike!"
  267. >Since Spike's on the other side of the door he has to yell.
  268. >"ANON CAN YOU HELP HER?! I'LL GET THE COFFEE!"
  269. >"Coffee!"
  270. >You and Starlight are having trouble keeping yourselves together.
  271. "S-SURE THING snrk-SPIKE! I GOT HER!"
  272. >You set Starlight down and go over to the princess, trying to figure how best to do this without hurting her.
  273. >In the end you wrap an arm around her barrel and grab her muzzle.
  274. >Twilight is definitely awake now and very upset at being handled like this.
  275. "Easy girl."
  276. >You try and spin her with the curve of her horn to get her loose.
  277. >It takes some wiggling, spinning, and a bit of butter from Spikes side but eventually she's free and has her coffee.
  278. >You move back to the table to see that Starlight had taken the time to set everything out.
  279. >Don't know when she had the time considering that she sounded like she was going to bust a lung.
  280. >"Thank you, Anon. I really appreciate your help there."
  281. "Every morning, Twilight. Look at that door! It's going to be a split door by Sunday!"
  282. >It was true.
  283. >The door had so many holes in it that it was almost cut in half.
  284. >Twilight clears her throat, trying to come up with some excuse.
  285. >"Yes, well-"
  286. >"You know we have an open spot in our herd, right? If you joined with me and Trixie you could feel those big, strong hands every. Single. Night."
  287. >Twilight stares disbelievingly at Starlight, too stunned to say anything.
  288. >"That is why you get him to feel you up everymorning, right? If not I'd have to challenge you to a duel for his honor."
  289. >Catching on you get down on one knee and start massaging Twilights shoulders.
  290. "There's no need for violence. Twilight is a paragon of justice and is more than welcome to join our herd."
  291. >You give her shoulders a tight squeeze.
  292. >"Hrn."
  293. >You'd be smiling right now but something's not right.
  294. >You...smell something.
  295. "Excuse me."
  296. >You run back into the kitchen, leaving a pent up Twilight and a cackling Starlight.
  297. >Charging back into the kitchen, grabbing an oven mit as you go.
  298. >You rip your biscuits out to see...
  299. >...hockey pucks.
  300. "Spike you fucker!"
  301. >"What?"
  302. >You show him why he's a failure at living.
  303. "'Gee, Anon biscuits are pretty hard to mess up.' Now we have no biscuits."
  304. >"Hey blame that on Twilight! If I didn't need to get the butter they'd be fine. Look, there's some toast now get back out there."
  305. >You toss the pan on the cook top and leave, not wanting to deal with your biscuit blues.
  306. >You walk back into the dining room to see...
  307. "Trixie?"
  308. >"Anonymous! What is this I hear of Twilight Sparkle being invited to the herd? As your Alpha any-ooph!"
  309. >You were across the room in an instant and had her in your arms just as fast.
  310. "Where'd you go? Why'd you leave? Are you okay? What the fuck is wrong with you, you stupid cunt?! I'm sorry I-"
  311. >You're silenced by a piece of toast being shoved in you mouth.
  312. >You take note of the color of the magic and give an all too amused Starlight a glare.
  313. >"He's been worrying ever since we found you missing. He thought you were going to leave."
  314. >Trixie is taken aback by this and you're still angrily chewing.
  315. >"Wha-No! Trixie went to find you a gift! S-since you were clearly emotionally upset Trixie decided you needed something to calm down."
  316. >Trixie pulls out a package as you finish chewing.
  317. >You set her down, take the package, and look over to Spike as he enters with a cart of food.
  318. "Needs butter."
  319. >Spike points to Twilights horn, which was still covered in butter.
  320. >You start unraveling the package.
  321. >You finish unwrapping the package and see something you had almost resigned yourself to never see again.
  322. >Twenty pounds of real meat.
  323. "Uh."
  324. >"This is from a kelbi. Odd, green creatures that a griffin associate had hunted down."
  325. "How much did you spend on this?"
  326. >"Nothing. She owed me a favor."
  327. >You look down at the brash blue mare.
  328. >After a moment she starts to shift in her seat.
  329. >"It's good, isn't it? Trixie is unfamiliar with meat and si-"
  330. "I thought I lost you. I know it wasn't even an hour, but I thought I drove you away. I thought-I thought I broke our family before we could even get started."
  331. >Trixie looks at you a moment before pointing her nose up.
  332. >"Humph. Not likely you oversized ape. It will take more than what you have to drive the stubborn and loving Trixie away."
  333. >She looks to you, her eyes getting just a little misty.
  334. >"Trix-I am here to stay as long as you'll have me."
  335. >"Same here, Nons."
  336. >You look down and see that Starlight had hobbled her way over at some point.
  337. >You pick your mares up and settle down in your seat, feeling the mornings stress wash off of you.
  338. >"Aaaawwwww."
  339. >Your eyes snap open and you see Spike and Twilight enjoying the scene.
  340. >"See, Twilight, you should totally join their herd."
  341. >"Absolutely not! Trixi-"
  342. >"OW! Trixie you hay-fever-harlot! That's my leg!"
  343. >Twilight's just trying to hide behind her wings.
  344. >You look over to Spike who is shooting you finger guns as he walks out the door.
  345. >That fucker ruined your biscuits and your moment.
  346. >Your vengeance shall be absolute.
  347. ----------
  348. >Today is a day of mourning.
  349. >First your biscuits saw the flame before they could see the day.
  350. >Now your newspaper has finally fallen in action.
  351. >After breakfast Starlight had asked you to drop her off in the library with a snack and enjoy the day with Trixie.
  352. >You didn't like leaving her alone and had stated as much.
  353. >You argued a bit until she got your paper.
  354. >Bappy bapped his last bap today.
  355. >What's worse is that you were the one who was bapped.
  356. >You're planning on holding a memorial service for him at the end of the week.
  357. >But that's a problem for later.
  358. >Your current issue is that you're with Trixie in public.
  359. >Without anyway of making her behave.
  360. >The first time you had tried to rein her in, you had grabbed her by her tail and mane and pulled her into the air.
  361. >You later learned that you may as well have just shoved your fist up her cooch.
  362. >So here you are, bapless with Trixie.
  363. >And she's already acting up.
  364. >"You dare look upon the grand and imposing Trixies stallion!? I challenge you to a duel, young Belle!"
  365. >Poor Sweetie Belle just tried to say hi.
  366. >Now the poor thing is stuck shaking in place.
  367. >"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"
  368. >"Enough! We shall fight-OW! What was that for?!"
  369. >Flicking her ear just doesn't have the same feel.
  370. "You're being mean. Sorry, Sweetie Belle you can keep doing your thing."
  371. >You barely get a nod before the little filly is gone.
  372. >"Wait! We-OW!"
  373. >Pinching doesn't do it either.
  374. "You are not fighting her."
  375. >You make your way towards the market, thinking of possible replacements for Bappy.
  376. >You want to get them to behave, but you don't want to actually hurt them.
  377. >So you ponder possibilities while you walk towards the market.
  378. >First on your list of stops is...
  379. >"Howdy, partner! Trixie. You get that Alpha business sorted out?"
  380. >This is probably how Luna feels.
  381. >"There was nothing to sort out. The glorious and sensual Trixie is the Alpha, and any who say otherwise know nothing of the way the world works."
  382. >She comes back from the moon and gets dragged into a bureaucratic position in the government.
  383. >"Yeah, gotta get a wrangle on that there stallion of yours, y'hear."
  384. >And here you had spent...some time in that forest.
  385. >"There is no question that Anonymous knows who is in charge. He only needs to be reminded every now and then."
  386. >Now you spend your time with two of the biggest idiots in town.
  387. >"I hear that. Just be sure not to be too rough on the big guy."
  388. >At least they're fun idiots.
  389. >"Absolutely. Trixie runs a tight ship and all in her herd love her."
  390. >They're also your idiots and you'll fight anyone that says otherwise.
  391. >Applejack chuckles.
  392. >"Well you two want the usual."
  393. >You nod.
  394. "Yes a dozen Golden Delicious. Preferably none of the ones you've used to masturbate with."
  395. >Applejack, still in salesmare mode, hasn't noticed the comment and starts bagging.
  396. >"Why I don't have none'a those out here. I have a specially carved-"
  397. >Her eyes nearly pop out of her head as she realizes what she's saying.
  398. >"-uhhh LAMP! I got a specially carved Golden Delicious lamp!"
  399. >Ooh, you love the smell of panic in the morning.
  400. "S-so you're telling me you've got the-hehe-Golden D, AJ?"
  401. >Trixie loses her shit and you have to grab her and run as apples start to fly at the two of you.
  402. >You do your best to grab the apples being flung at you and stuff them into Trixies saddlebag.
  403. >It's not stealing if you're being assaulted with them.
  404. >That's an actual law and you may abuse it.
  405. >You make it to the fountain at the center of the market.
  406. >You sit down and set Trixie next to you.
  407. >She pulls out the apples and starts counting.
  408. >"Ten Golden Delicious and two...Granny Smith? Good work, Anonymous."
  409. >You wrap an arm around her neck and scratch under her jaw.
  410. "The Smith are good for baking, I can make the three of us something sweet to share with those two. I'll also head back later with the bits and her rope."
  411. >She shivers at the memory.
  412. >"It may be best to buy her new rope."
  413. >You pull the loudmouth a little tighter.
  414. "What's this? My Trixie thinking of others? Who are you and what have you done with my Trixie?!"
  415. >"Humph."
  416. >You love how she'll try to stick her nose up at you, but all she does is look at you at a funny angle.
  417. >You could see where she was coming from, though.
  418. >After the three of you had talked and made up there was naturally the make-up sex.
  419. >Neither you nor Starlight saw any reason to untie her...for awhile at least.
  420. "Hmm, is it possible that my little mare enjoyed-"
  421. >"Absolutely not! We shall never speak of this again!"
  422. >You're getting looks now, but Pinkie isn't selling her popcorn yet.
  423. >Pinkie drama sense is pretty handy sometimes.
  424. >You give your mare a little squeeze and lean in close.
  425. "Did we upset you? Because if so-"
  426. >"No, no. It was just... different?"
  427. >You rub your hand along her neck.
  428. "I'm sorry. I should've made sure you were okay with it."
  429. >She pulls her hat off, staring down the stitching.
  430. >"It's fine."
  431. "It really isn't. We just had a big talk about being better to each other and then I did that."
  432. >You go to pull away but Trixie bites down on your shirt and pulls you back in.
  433. >"Anonymous. I regularly have to be tied up for various stunts and feats of skill. This did not bother me, it surprised me. I trust the two of you and I know neither of you would do anything to hurt me. Intentionally, at least. We do seem to be a trio of trouble, do we not?"
  434. >You smile and start scratching at Trixies ear.
  435. "If there's anyway I can-"
  436. >"We're doing Trixies thing next, and no she will not explain what it is beforehoof."
  437. >What
  438. "What?"
  439. >"You heard Trixie. Now let's get moving. The apple farmer and the seamstress are headed this way."
  440. >You look and see that she is correct.
  441. >AJ and Rarity are marching your way and they both look pissed.
  442. >You look back and find Trixie is already halfway down the street.
  443. >That little shit.
  444. >Did she go along with the rope thing so she could get her thing?
  445. >"ANAWN!"
  446. >Questions later, running from apple now.
  447. >"TRIXIE YOU WILL GET BACK HERE AND TELL ME ABOUT THIS 'DUEL'!"
  448. >You summon all of your NOPE and sprint over to Trixie grabbing her as you run.
  449. >The two of you laugh like idiots as you run from the screaming behind you.
  450. >Your height allows you to jump over most obstacles and when things lined up right, you could simply step over the crowded ponies.
  451. >You take a couple turns through alleyways and even take the time to toss over a random trash can to hopefully throw them off your trail.
  452. >You'd go faster, but Trixie is surprising dense in the muscle department.
  453. >By the time you're done you're out of breath and by the castle.
  454. >"Haha! Good work, Anonymous! We lost th..."
  455. "T-Trixie? What's-hoo-wrong?"
  456. >Oh
  457. >Twelve heavily armed griffons are quite the issue.
  458. >You warily look over the group as one steps forward.
  459. >"No need to be so anxious, you two! We just need to see if you still have something that was misplaced."
  460. >Okay, that one's a guy.
  461. >He also sounds kinda classy.
  462. >Big counterpoint to the crossbows, claymore, and the fact that he's head and shoulders above everyother catbird here.
  463. >Trixie looks to another one standing just behind him.
  464. >"Greta, what's the meaning of this?!"
  465. >Greta, who currently had her wings bound, looks around nervously.
  466. >"So you remember that kelbi meat I gave you? Turns out that was not the stuff we had to spare. Funny stuff, huh?"
  467. >Did Trixie bug the griffon mob for some meat?
  468. >Because if she did she was going to get bapped so hard.
  469. >If you didn't die here.
  470. >Boy you hope you don't die here.
  471. >Big Bird McMurder steps forward, extending a claw to Trixie.
  472. >"Where are my manners? My name is Troghul and this is my flock."
  473. >You get silent nods from the crowd and a nervous wave from Greta.
  474. >You're so going to die.
  475. >"Now as we were saying, there is a buyer for that meat and we do not fail on a delivery. Please tell me you have not eaten or disposed of it in anyway."
  476. >You take that moment to step in front of Trixie, despite her poking you with her horn.
  477. "No, it's in the fridge and completely intact."
  478. >A collective sigh of relief, and even a few cheers, run through the griffons.
  479. >"My dear colt, you have no idea how happy we are to here that. May we go get it?"
  480. "Yes, we don't want any trouble."
  481. >The griffon blinks at that.
  482. >"Trouble?"
  483. >He looks at his 'flock'.
  484. >All were extensively armed from basic knives to Troghuls claymore.
  485. >Two even had collapsible ballista.
  486. >Troghul starts laughing behind a claw.
  487. >"Oh, we must look quite the sight! A band of griffons swooping in armed to the beaks! Sorry about this, we didn't mean to alarm you in anyway, we're just hunters, friend."
  488. >You relax, if only a little.
  489. >He gestures with a claw.
  490. >"Now, that meat?"
  491. >You motion for him to follow and head towards the castle.
  492. >"I really am sorry about this, but Greta has the worst habit of getting into trouble."
  493. >You look over and see that only Troghul and Greta are following which helps ease your nerves a bit more.
  494. "Sounds like mine-"
  495. >"Excuse-!"
  496. "-going out and calling in 'favors' to cause this whole mess."
  497. >Troghul chuckles before his expression turns thoughtful.
  498. >"Was the meat for you? I suppose you'd have to buy since there's no hunting grounds near here."
  499. >You point to the Everfree.
  500. "There's that. Not many prey species so you've got to get creative, especially with how freaky some of that stuff is."
  501. >Troghuls head whips between you and the forest before settling on you.
  502. >"You've hunted in the Everfree?"
  503. "Hunted?! Hell, I used to live there! Now I deal with the biggest monster imaginable. Domestic life."
  504. >The hunter runs to keep up, having momentarily frozen in place.
  505. >"Dozens of griffons have tried to hunt in those woods and almost none have returned! How did you manage it?!"
  506. "Were they flying?"
  507. >"Wha-"
  508. "There's this spider thing, big as Trixie here, that'll pull anything up into the trees above a certain height. I called them Yankees 'cause they would yank yee. I had to get around by squatting until I popped open some spiky bug for armor. Next time I got yanked spider-dude got impaled on the spikes."
  509. >"T-tha-"
  510. "Want to know the best part? After the first one got stabbed I never got yanked again. I'd even seek them out to try and get some easy meat, but they'd just stare or run off. The fuckers learn, Troghul! Maybe even communicate if the sounds I've heard are any suggestion. And those things are in the entire forest, even the safe parts. Ah, here we are!"
  511. >You pop open the magic-fridge-thingy and grab the wrapped meat.
  512. >He opens the package and sighs in relief.
  513. >"It looks like it's all here. Thank you for keeping this safe, friend. As well as the nightmare fuel."
  514. "No problem! Anyday I don't get stabbed is a good day."
  515. >"Quite."
  516. >He looks you up and down, his expresiion unreadable before turning around and pulling Greta out of the room.
  517. >You think of the best route to the library to get to Starlight and start moving.
  518. >"Anon."
  519. >You stop in place, your boots skidding a little on the crystal floor, and look at Trixie.
  520. >"Was that true? Did you really fight those spiders?"
  521. >You tilt your head at the question.
  522. >You told them about this, right?
  523. "Well, yeah. That and worse. I've told you and Starlight about my time there, right? I mean, you've seen the scars."
  524. >You totally told them.
  525. >Trixies eyes bug out as she starts to process this.
  526. >"N-no! Was it really that bad for you in there? Why do you keep trying to go back? Why-"
  527. >Her eyes grow wide as something dawns on her.
  528. >"Y-you never had any of that bug armor during our hunting trips. You could have seriously been hurt or killed!"
  529. >You shrug.
  530. "Didn't need it."
  531. >"WHY NOT?!"
  532. "I always had one of you with me."
  533. >Her eyes grow wider yet softer.
  534. >You gently run a thumb across her cheek.
  535. "What did you say at the fountain? That you trust the two of us? Well I trust the two of you with my life, even if I don't show it."
  536. >Your mare hangs her head, trying to process what you just said.
  537. >"Anonymous will you go to our room? Starlight and I have some things to talk about."
  538. >You scratch at your side but nod.
  539. "Uh, sure. Let me know if you need anything."
  540. >Trixie nods and makes her way out of the room.
  541. >You just fucked up, didn't you?
  542. >And you were trying to be sweet too!
  543. >Probably didn't help that you were kind of lying.
  544. >There were two reasons why you didn't find any Yankees during your hunting trips with the girls.
  545. >One was that the area you hunted in only had hatchlings, which usually busied themselves with eating eachother before going deeper in the woods.
  546. >The second is on your shoulder.
  547. >Yankees were damn smart, so as a precaution you took your shoulder pad with your insignia.
  548. >A simple question mark inscribed with the blood of the last Yankee to mess with you and the fuckers either smelled the blood or recognized the symbol.
  549. >Ugh.
  550. >you really are bad at this relationship thing, aren't you?
  551. >You grin as you see Spike marching up to you.
  552. >"What the hay, Anon?! You gave Starlight my whole tub of Sweets n' Treets Neapolitan! That stuff is expensive and you can only get it from Canterlot! Now all the starwberry is missing."
  553. >Just the starwberry?
  554. >Starlight was dating you so you knew she had shit taste, but seriously?
  555. >You flip Spike off, but keep walking.
  556. "That's what you get for burning my biscuits, bitch."
  557. ----------
  558. >It's a new day and you are now Starlight Glimmer.
  559. >Funny what the rotation of the Sun and Moon will do.
  560. >Seriously, when Princess Luna came back it took you a week to adjust your more complicated spells.
  561. >Simple stuff was fine, but for that whole week you were miscasting high tier spells.
  562. >But that's not important right now.
  563. >What's important is that your Nons is hurting.
  564. >Maybe.
  565. >Is he?
  566. >Trixie had come into the library and had politely asked Twilight to let the two of you talk alone.
  567. >That had set off all kinds of warning bells.
  568. >It turned out to be for a good reason as what she revealed was not pretty.
  569. >Anon had his meat taken.
  570. >Not that meat, that's yours.
  571. >Said meat was probably from the griffon mafia, despite Trixies insistence otherwise.
  572. >And most importantly, you now knew that the markings across his body were scars.
  573. >You didn't know how much, but you were going to find out.
  574. >The two of you, being the idiots you were, had never questioned it.
  575. >He was something different and had been in the Everfree for maybe all his life, so you didn't know what to expect from his species.
  576. >The one clear mark was that he was missing a bit of his ear.
  577. >When you asked him about it he said a massive faggot did it.
  578. >You had just laughed then but now...
  579. >The three of you are out shopping, hoping to butter him up so that maybe he'll talk about his time in the Everfree and hoping even more that your job as a school therapist relates to human therapy.
  580. >Anon decided he needed a new tool to bap the two of you, so you're currently in a store for hoofheld fans.
  581. >There were some other herds here with their stallions, so naturally Trixie had started a winking contest.
  582. >You snicker quietly to yourself.
  583. >"What's so funny?"
  584. >You shift your muzzle towards Anon, but keep your eyes on the scene.
  585. "Just remembering when you asked Twilight what a winking contest was."
  586. >Anon chuckles, giving your neck a scratch.
  587. >Trixie may give you grief, but sitting in his arms is fantastic and you both know it.
  588. >"Well she said if I had any question about your culture or whatever to come to her. I wasn't expecting her to nearly break down like that."
  589. >You have a memory crystal in your nightstand of her face when he asked her that question.
  590. >You pull it out whenever you need a pick-me-up.
  591. >It hadn't worked too well this morning.
  592. >Anon tries to look at the shelves that are far too low for him and keep you upright at the same time
  593. >You give him a little bop with a hoof to get his attention.
  594. "Were you serious about letting her join the herd?"
  595. >"I was mostly messing with her, but I wouldn't mind if you two are okay with it and I know Trixie isn't. Honestly, trying to love and care for two wom-mares is kind of tough. Three might be pushing it."
  596. >You think of Twilight joining the herd.
  597. >She was far from the coltiest mare, but she was definitely more sensitive than you.
  598. >No doubt better equipped to deal with this.
  599. "Well Trixie's just trying to put on a show."
  600. >"You don't say?"
  601. >You put a little bit more force into a second bop.
  602. "If you say you want Twilight in the herd we'll happily give her a dry run."
  603. >"What's a dry run?"
  604. "Basically she's part of the herd, but the stallion doesn't have sex with her. Only the other mares in the herd."
  605. >Anon turns to you looking utterly lost.
  606. >"So if we ever add another mare to the herd I'll just have to sit in a corner like a creepy pervert?"
  607. "What? Of course not. We'll all snuggle together, do herd stuff, and-you meant sex part didn't you?"
  608. >"Well, yeah. That just-"
  609. >You laugh, remembering that Anon isn't like normal stallions sometimes.
  610. "Anon, you have two mares."
  611. >"Well, yeah, okay but why?"
  612. >You take a second to try and put your thoughts into words.
  613. "It's some mess about the stallions purity-"
  614. >"I'm getting a four-oh-four on that."
  615. "-and also to see if the mare is bedroom compatible."
  616. >Anon takes on a thoughtful expression.
  617. >You, meanwhile, realize you've just made an opportunity.
  618. "Sooo, what's dating like for your species Anon?"
  619. >Anon mulls it over for a second.
  620. >"Well back on Earth-"
  621. "Wait, hold on. What do you mean 'on Earth'?"
  622. >The dopey ape takes his attention away from the shelves to look at you again.
  623. >"Earth. My home planet. I told you about that, right?"
  624. >You stare at him, slack jawed and mind reeling.
  625. >"Did I not tell you that?"
  626. "YOU'RE AN ALIEN?!"
  627. >Anon nearly drops you from your sudden shouting, but manages to keep a grip.
  628. >"I guess that's a no?"
  629. >"HA! Trixie is clearly superior for she is herding with an alien!"
  630. >You feel a vein pulse in your neck.
  631. "Trixie, get over here!"
  632. >Trixie dutifully follows her alphas order.
  633. >...
  634. >What?
  635. >Just because you don't say it as much as Trixie doesn't mean it's not the truth.
  636. >"I seriously need to work on my communication skills."
  637. >You look up at the FATHER BUCKING ALIEN that's holding you.
  638. "You think!?"
  639. >Anon looks oddly perplexed by your reaction.
  640. >"Wasn't it obvious? Aren't I the only living human on this planet?"
  641. >"Not necessarily. The illustrious and well traveled Trixie has seen many oddities. Of all the talking apes I have seen Trixie must say you are the most fit."
  642. >You guess this makes sense.
  643. >You had been to that place where Sunset was with all the other creatures like Anon and-
  644. >Hold on.
  645. >"Why, Trixie. That almost sounded like a complement."
  646. >What did he mean by-
  647. >"Do not let it go to your head. Only Trixies head is allowed to get this big."
  648. >The two grin at each other before breaking down laughing.
  649. "What did you mean by 'living human'?"
  650. >Anon moves back to the shelf, looking along the fans.
  651. >"There were some cave paintings and some marked graves. The paintings told some grand story of a great light that I'm guessing brought them here like me. From there it's just portrayals of what took people out. There were also instructions on how to deal with some of the stuff in the forest."
  652. >You can't believe this.
  653. >You knew the forest was dangerous, but Twilight and her friends had never really been hurt.
  654. >How many-
  655. >"H-how many humans were there."
  656. >Trixies question is more subdued than you would expect.
  657. >"Thirty two marked graves with one unburied in that cave. When I got the chance I buried what little there was."
  658. >His answer came out quickly, but like Trixie it was rather subdued.
  659. "Can you put me down for a second Anon?"
  660. >He looks over to you with a quirked brow.
  661. >"You sure? I don't mind carrying you."
  662. >You give him a small nod.
  663. "Set me in that corner. Trixie will keep me company."
  664. >His eyes shift between the two of you, processing your request.
  665. >"Alright, just yell when you need me, okay?"
  666. >He sets you down and you get a quick nuzzle in before he moves away.
  667. >You look over to Trixie who quickly raises a sound barrier spell.
  668. >...
  669. >You didn't know she could do that.
  670. >"Thirty three. That pad on his shoulder with the question mark. It has thirty three notches."
  671. >That shoulder pad.
  672. >You thought it was just some kind of imitation cutie mark.
  673. >Turns out it may be a memorial.
  674. >You sigh in relief.
  675. "You're sure?"
  676. >Trixie nods
  677. >"Trixie has an eye for detail beyond measure."
  678. "So then he doesn't think he's dead at least. Maybe?"
  679. >Your herdsister tilts her head to the side.
  680. >"What do you mean?"
  681. >You throw up a hoof as you start to explain.
  682. "Well he could think that he died in the forest and now thinks he's a specter of what he used to be..."
  683. >You throw the hoof into your face.
  684. "Trixie, we hopped into a herd with the first colt that was nice to us. Why are we such idiots?"
  685. >A smack over your head instantly clears up your moping.
  686. >You'd try to take a look at the offender, but you find she's using her magic to do that for you.
  687. >"Calm yourself Starlight. Anonymous is hardier than you think. Not to mention he is also watching."
  688. >Your muzzle is still stuck in Trixies magic so you have to shift your eyes to see-
  689. >Anon on his hands and knees, looking through the lower shelves away from you.
  690. >"Smoke and /mirrors/ are Trixies specialty, Starlight."
  691. >You furrow your brow and start looking around the room.
  692. >Oh
  693. >There, to Anons left, is a mirror hooked up in the ceiling.
  694. >Anon could totally see both of you from this angle.
  695. >You take a deep breath and look to your sis.
  696. "So what do we do?"
  697. >"What do you mean?"
  698. >This bucking mare.
  699. "He's an alien. Probably even traumatized at seeing all of the other dead humans. Are we just going to keep going on like nothings wrong?"
  700. >Trixie places a hoof on your shoulder.
  701. >"You remember what happened when those six tried to put him through the Everfree recovery ward of the asylum, don't you?"
  702. >You wince
  703. >You remember very well, in part because you were there.
  704. >The first time he had simply escaped.
  705. >Nopony's sure how and he won't say 'in case they try to lock him up again'.
  706. >The second time Rainbow had pushed him a little too far, so he used her to make a hole in the wall.
  707. >After that, Twilight politely asked him to stay at the castle, to which he agreed.
  708. "Yeah what about it."
  709. >"If, and this is a big if here, he is traumatized and hurting as you say, he will not take kindly to being pulled out of his hole. We will have to do as we are now, talking and working forward."
  710. >You smile and pull Trixie in for a hug.
  711. "When did you get to be so sensitive, Trix?"
  712. >She sticks her nose in the air some noise of complaint.
  713. >"Trixie knows how to appeal to an audience, and there is no audience greater than a herd."
  714. "It's nice to see your colty side, Trix. Though I still think we need a proper colty mare for this emotional stuff like Rarity or Fluttershy."
  715. >"Rarity is not allowed as she will try to show up Trixie."
  716. >You roll your eyes and-
  717. >"You two doing okay? You've been in here awhile."
  718. >The sound barrier pops as Trixie panics, flying straight into the air and nearly hitting Anon with her horn.
  719. >Anon pulls her out of the air as if he were simply grabbing a book from a shelf.
  720. >"H-how long-"
  721. >"I wasn't eavesdropping, I was just checking on your plotting."
  722. >You snort defensively.
  723. "We weren't plotting."
  724. >"You were so plotting, that little bubble only goes up before trouble comes around."
  725. >You go to respond but Trixie cuts you off.
  726. >"Starlight and I were simply trying to come up with a way to get you some meat, since the last bit was taken away."
  727. >"You mean the mob took it back, right?"
  728. >"Those griffons are reputable members of society-"
  729. >You interrupt the bickering by clearing you throat.
  730. "So did you find anything good, Anon?"
  731. >Oh, Celestia help you, you do not like that smile.
  732. >He reaches over to the counter and picks up...
  733. >...a paper fan?
  734. >"It's just like the thing from Smash Brothers! It's perfect!"
  735. >Trixie tries to get a better look at the fan as Anon puts her down.
  736. >"What's Smash Brothers?"
  737. >"A thing from Earth."
  738. >That smile just keeps growing.
  739. >"It even makes the right sound too!"
  740. >He levels it towards his hand and-
  741. >BAP
  742. >That's weird.
  743. >It gave everything a blue tint.
  744. >Anon giggles just a bit too happily.
  745. >"Hey look! It's Pavlov's Pony!"
  746. >What?
  747. >You look around and see that you've created a shield without even realizing it.
  748. >Huh
  749. >You're not dropping it.
  750. >There's a tapping noise and you see Trixie is stuck outside.
  751. >"Starlight, please let Trixie in."
  752. >Hey, she even said please.
  753. >You're still not dropping the shield.
  754. >You know how fast Anon is.
  755. >If this shield goes down you're both getting bapped.
  756. >The tapping has turned into full on pounding.
  757. >"Starlight! Let Trixie in!"
  758. >See!
  759. >She didn't say please there so it's okay.
  760. >Anon is close now, a maniacal gleam in his eye.
  761. >Trixie looks from you to Anon and finally to the door.
  762. "Don't you dare."
  763. ----------
  764. >You are now alone with an alien you are quickly realizing you know very little about.
  765. >Oh, you're also in a herd with him.
  766. >Because why should you get to know somepo-somecre-somebody before you date them.
  767. >You knew at the very least not to say everycreature around him.
  768. >He'd go on a bapping frenzy.
  769. >It would always end up with him rubbing Twilights nose into the door of the school yelling 'look what you did'.
  770. >You take a moment to really look at your herdmate.
  771. >He was tall, there was no question of that.
  772. >Even Princess Celestia had to look up to meet his eyes.
  773. >There's the shoulder pad on his right side with the question mark and the notches.
  774. >He also has some heavy looking knee-pads as well as a spiked covering on his left boot.
  775. >The other one was more intact, but looked repurposed and patched together out of different types of hide, which included something thick and rubbery on the bottom.
  776. >The rest of his armor sat in your room.
  777. >That armor, much like the boot patch job, used to be part of a living, breathing creature.
  778. >You kind of thought it was for show, but looking at his arms...
  779. >...you could see what were surely scars.
  780. >It was hard to tell as you weren't used to seeing something hairless or with this kind of muscle.
  781. >Those muscles...
  782. >The blunted claws, his speed, his bucking TEETH!
  783. >He'd nibble on your ears sometimes and you enjoyed it then, but what if he was getting a taste.
  784. >When Trixie had run, Anon didn't so much as blink.
  785. >Why would he?
  786. >She wasn't his target.
  787. >His prey.
  788. >You swallow hard and look up at the carnivorous alien towering over you.
  789. >You forget your old doubts and thousands of new ones take their place.
  790. >You think of the one time you had seen him mad.
  791. >He had...
  792. >Does it really matter?
  793. >Everything's okay.
  794. >He won't hurt ponies.
  795. >Your concentration flickers, causing you and the shield collapse.
  796. >You're in Anons arms before you can hit the ground, the fan forgotten.
  797. >A hand gently runs through your mane, calming you down further.
  798. >"It's alright, Star. Everything's okay."
  799. >Something feels off, but everything feels fine.
  800. "Yeah, you're right. Everything's fine."
  801. >His face grows stern.
  802. >"You okay, Star?"
  803. >You nod slowly before smiling.
  804. "I'm fine, Nons. C'mon let's get you that fan and find Trixie."
  805. >"Nah, let's just find Trixie."
  806. "Hey you made a big deal about that fan and-"
  807. >"It's fine, Star. Let's go home."
  808. >He wraps his arms around you, hauling you up.
  809. >"Besides, it's not nice to hit people you like."
  810. >He starts to walk towards the door as you try to think.
  811. >Anon was weird, yes, but not in a bad way.
  812. >He'd happily cook, and was very good even if he was weird about biscuits.
  813. >He was fun to be around, even if he and Trixie drove your blood pressure through the roof.
  814. >He carried you around happily so you didn't have to use that clumsy wheelchair.
  815. >He really seemed to be trying to be nicer to you two.
  816. >And here you were having a small panic attack because...
  817. >Why?
  818. "Hold on."
  819. >You reach out with your magic, grabbing the fan and show it to the clerk.
  820. "How much for this?"
  821. >The clerk, who was a pink mare with a mustache selling popcorn, looks to the fan.
  822. >"Two bits, ma'am."
  823. >"Star-"
  824. >There's a flash of light and the money is on the counter.
  825. >"Star we don't need that-"
  826. "You said it was like something from Earth, right? So you need it."
  827. >You put the fan in his pocket.
  828. "Pinkie can I get some popcorn, too?"
  829. >Pinkie starts sputtering and trying to defend herself.
  830. >"P-Pinkie? I do not know any Pinkie."
  831. >You grin a grin of victory.
  832. "So you're telling me there's a pony in town who Pinkie hasn't greeted?"
  833. >Pinkie narrows her eyes at you and tosses a bag of popcorn on the counter.
  834. >"Take it."
  835. >You pick up the bag and start munching on your snack.
  836. >Once you realize you're not moving you look to Anon, who was staring down Pinkie.
  837. >"Hey, Pinkie let me take that 'stache for a ride."
  838. >Ooh, here we go.
  839. >"What? NO! This is my 'stache and I only have five more stashed around town."
  840. >"So you're saying you have some to spare?"
  841. >"No."
  842. >"Pinkie-"
  843. >"No!
  844. >"C'mon."
  845. >"NO!"
  846. >"Please."
  847. >"I only give mustache rides to ponys I like!"
  848. >You're quietly laughing to yourself as Anon puts his hand to his chest as if hurt.
  849. >"P-Pinkie Pie! Are you saying that you don't like me? That we're not friends?"
  850. >Pinkie, who has been dishing out popcorn during this whole performance, sighs in defeat.
  851. >"Okay, okay. Just bring it back by the end of the week, alright? I don't like my 'stache stash being low."
  852. >"Sure thing, Pinks. And thank you."
  853. >Anon puts the mustache up to his lip and...
  854. >It just falls off.
  855. >"Ooh, yeah. You're funny with magic. That mustache stays in place by using magic so, um..."
  856. >Anon looks to Pinkie and then over to you.
  857. >Before you can object a mustache is added to your muzzle.
  858. >You sigh.
  859. >It was nice sitting on the sidelines.
  860. >But Pinkies comment brings back a memory.
  861. >When it was found Anon had a kind of resistance to magic, you and Twilight had decided to test it.
  862. >Twilight wanted to take it slow, but you were excited.
  863. >So when you made zero progress you were less than pleased.
  864. >When Twilight went away for a trip, you planned your own test.
  865. >You ended up hitting him with bigger and bigger blasts of magic.
  866. >Trixie had been cheering you on while this had happened.
  867. >Twilight somehow knew and came back to shout at you while Anon just laughed, clothes slightly on fire.
  868. >Looking back, that was not a normal reaction.
  869. >You sigh.
  870. >You can't think of anything to say except-
  871. "You're weird."
  872. >You get a finger to your snout.
  873. >"Boop! You love it."
  874. "Only kind of."
  875. >You float a pile of popcorn to your face, only for Anon to take a bite out of it.
  876. "Hey!"
  877. >"Ish mah pahcohrn tew."
  878. >You put up a small shield, blocking the spew of half chewed popcorn.
  879. "Anon you clueless clit cleaner, shut your mouth when you chew!"
  880. >Anon takes a moment to look you over before growing a mishievous grin.
  881. "No."
  882. >It was nice a second ago.
  883. >Anon takes a deep breath in.
  884. >You were just in a corner having a little personal crisis, but you got over it pretty quick.
  885. >Anon sticks his tongue out.
  886. >You try to spread your shield as far as you can while he's holding you.
  887. >Now you're about to be a mess.
  888. >"TTHHPPBTHHBPP-"
  889. "ANON!"
  890. >"-BPPPTTTHHHHPPPBBTH-"
  891. "STOP!"
  892. >Anon does just that to take a breath, which lets you jam his mouth full of popcorn.
  893. >"MMH!"
  894. "Uh-uh! Don't give me that. You're going to chew that bit up and behave."
  895. >You wriggle your mustache for emphasis.
  896. >This gets a muffled laugh and a nod out of Anon.
  897. >He sets his feet and locks eyes with you, leaning toward you and wriggling his overfull lips.
  898. >Now there's a message you can pick up on.
  899. >You lean forward, giving the odd stallion a kiss and taking back half the popcorn.
  900. >"Aaaawwwww."
  901. >Both of your heads snap up to see that, yes, you are still in public.
  902. >You're even eating some of the drama popcorn!
  903. >Thankfully, Anon starts moving.
  904. >You hated this stuff with every fiber of your being.
  905. >You'll occasionally catch yourself thinking of a memory erasure spell or something similar.
  906. >You then remember that that's a bad thing.
  907. >And bad Glimmys get bapped.
  908. >And you're a good Glimmy.
  909. >Or your working on it.
  910. >You and Anon finish chewing as he steps outside.
  911. >"So where do you think Trixie-"
  912. >"BAHAHAHAHA!"
  913. >You and Anon look to each other.
  914. "Probably with Rainbow, is my guess."
  915. >Anon rolls his eyes and follows the sound of laughter.
  916. >As he moves toward the marketplace you see Rainbow on a large, dark storm cloud, prompting Anon to move faster.
  917. >When you make it to the market you see the zapped and soaking wet Trixie.
  918. >You put up a barrier to block the rain as Anon marches towards Trixie.
  919. >"Are you okay, Trixie?"
  920. >Trixie looks to the two of you, seeming slightly dazed.
  921. >"Trixie is fine."
  922. >You both wait for a response but Trixie must not feel too talkative.
  923. >That's not good.
  924. >"Starlight, will you be okay if I put you down for a second?"
  925. "Yeah, I'll see about bringing her back around."
  926. >Anon puts you down and steps back into the rain as you try some basic medical spells on Trixie.
  927. >"RAINBOW DASH! GET YOUR HIDE DOWN HERE BEFORE I COME UP THERE AND TAN IT!"
  928. >A small jet off sparks fire from your horn due to Anons outburst.
  929. >Well.
  930. >Maybe Pinkie should've set up her stall over here.
  931. >You shake your head as you get back to work.
  932. >"What?"
  933. >"What do you mean, what!? You hurt Trixie!"
  934. >"Oh, calm down. It's just a prank, sis."
  935. >Trixie starts to blink like a normal pony, so you decided to check on Anon.
  936. >What you see can be described in many words.
  937. >But for the sake of simplicity you're going with mad.
  938. >He marches over to Applejacks stall and pulled a rope from behind the counter.
  939. >"Again?"
  940. >"Rainbow you have five seconds before I come up there!"
  941. >Ooh, this was going to get ugly.
  942. >Anon did not give idle threats.
  943. >You keep treating Trixie while watching to the scene.
  944. >"Oh, come on. Trixie will be fine in a second. C'mon, sis, like I said it was just a prank and-WHOA!"
  945. >You don't think five seconds had passed before Anon was up the nearest building, and practically flying toward Rainbow.
  946. >"Hey just relax-whoo-and we can-hey-okay, you know what? What if I fly up here?"
  947. >Rainbow flys well above all the nearby buildings easily out of Anons reach.
  948. >Anon just smiles.
  949. >"Then I would call you a coward, afraid to face justice from a stallion!"
  950. >Rainbow squawks at that and comes back down.
  951. >"Alright, you little colt. How about a bet? You catch me and I apologize and everything, and when you don't you have to do what I say."
  952. >"Deal!"
  953. >And like that the two are off.
  954. >Buck.
  955. >Now you'll have to use that wheelchair.
  956. >Wait.
  957. >You should be concerned for his safety right?
  958. >Nah
  959. >You're more concerned for Rainbow if he catches her.
  960. >"Th-that is enough Starlight, thank you."
  961. "Oh, you're back. Good!"
  962. >Trixie shakes her head.
  963. >"Yes now where is that obnoxious-"
  964. "Anon's chasing her down."
  965. >Trixie stares at you before smirking.
  966. >"Trixie would say it was cruel, but she is only getting what she deserves."
  967. >You giggle to yourself.
  968. "Oh, you should have seen it. I've only ever seen him that mad when Fluffy Fleece came over to try and snatch him up."
  969. >Trixies smirk grows wider.
  970. >"That coat and mane care specialist from Canterlot? Trixie remembers how she called us criminals and charlatans, undeserving of one such as Anonymous."
  971. "Oh, he looked so mad and when he picked her up and ran off with her I thought he was actually listening to her."
  972. >Trixie nods.
  973. >"Then he brought her back fully shaven, save for her cutie mark."
  974. "He shaved her tuft too! You saw that, right? Spike could've probably hid in that thing!"
  975. >Trixie snickers.
  976. >"Yes, well if Rainbow Dash is lucky Anonymous will be more forgiving."
  977. >You laugh, but soon find yourself looking into space.
  978. >"Starlight?"
  979. >You put up a quick sound barrier.
  980. "So if he's an alien, he's probably lost everyone he knows. Do you think that's why he's so defensive of us?"
  981. >Trixie raises a hoof before bringing it to her chin.
  982. >"Hmm. Trixie doesn't know. Maybe that's just how humans are?"
  983. >You stare at the ground before coming to a decision.
  984. >Your wheelchair appears next to you as the sound barrier pops, and you start to nestle into it.
  985. >"Starlight?"
  986. "Anon's busy so we're going to ask the one other mare who might know, and with any luck get tips on this sensitivity stuff."
  987. >"We do not need Twilights help."
  988. >You can't stop the groan before it leaves you.
  989. "There are ponies in this town besides Twilight, Trixie."
  990. >"Trixie is aware of this, and knows full well the only two of importance are herself and Starlight. In that order."
  991. >The two of you bicker all the way to Fluttershys house.
  992. ----------
  993. >You are now the great and powerful Trixie.
  994. >You are so great and powerful in fact, that you didn't need to wait a whole day to be you.
  995. >Take that, Starlight.
  996. >The two of you are currently standing outside of Fluttershys cottage, debating on weather or not to go in.
  997. "We do not need anyponys help with Anonymous. We have been doing fine."
  998. >Starlight sighs heavily before looking to you.
  999. >"Okay, yeah. We've been doing good and I'm pretty happy with things, but wouldn't you like to help Anon if he's not happy?"
  1000. >You flick an ear, thinking her words over.
  1001. >Anonymous was hard to read in some ways, that was true.
  1002. >But he never showed any signs of being sad.
  1003. >Save for when it rained.
  1004. >He would go to the edge of the forest, put his fingers in his mouth and whistle as loud as he could.
  1005. >You had asked him about it once and he had simply said he was looking for a bunch of faggots.
  1006. >Hmm
  1007. >You guess the only sad thing about that is the rain part.
  1008. >But setting is important.
  1009. >And your current setting concerns your stallions well-being.
  1010. >You grumble to yourself and knock on the door.
  1011. "Very well. We shall see what we can learn, but if Fluttershy has nothing to offer we are leaving."
  1012. >Before she can respond the door opens.
  1013. >"Hello, you two. How are you doing?"
  1014. >"Fine, Fluttershy. Do you mind if we come in?"
  1015. >"Of course. The tea should be at just the right temperature."
  1016. >You and Starlight step inside, her wheelchair hindering her on the doorframe a little.
  1017. >You move to her left side in case she falls.
  1018. >"Who were you making tea for, Flutters?"
  1019. >"You two, of course. When you came to my door arguing I figured it must be important so I made some tea and cookies. I wanted to get you the tea while it was still warm, but I didn't want to interrupt either."
  1020. >How long had you two been arguing?
  1021. >"Um, thanks. We aren't interrupting are we?"
  1022. "And were you listening to us."
  1023. >"Oh no, of course not! To both questions. Uhm...
  1024. >"Relax, Trix. we can trust her."
  1025. >You narrow your eyes at the yellow fiend.
  1026. "Trixie is not sure. This one looks like a squealer."
  1027. >Fluttershy raises her hooves defensively.
  1028. >"I-I've been told I'm more of a screamer."
  1029. >You blink as Starlight breaks into laughter.
  1030. >"W-wew, who told you tha-skrmph-that, Flutters."
  1031. >Fluttershy looks between the two of you, before finally registering what she just said.
  1032. >"O-oh, uhm, I mean...do you want some tea?"
  1033. >You nod as Starlight tries to contain her laughter.
  1034. >"P-please have a seat."
  1035. >You and Starlight do as she asks while she steps into the other room.
  1036. >Wew, that's...
  1037. >Not something you needed to hear.
  1038. >But she did say something about...
  1039. "Did you say something about cookies?!"
  1040. >"I'll get them too!"
  1041. >You look over to Starlight and see-
  1042. "Why are you wearing a mustache?"
  1043. >She shrugs.
  1044. >"Anon put it on me."
  1045. "Did he also cover you in small bits of popcorn?"
  1046. >"Yep."
  1047. >Hmm
  1048. >Maybe you should have stayed in that shop.
  1049. >You shift around in your seat.
  1050. "Where are the tea and cookies?!"
  1051. >"I'm coming! Wait! Not like that!"
  1052. >"It's okay, Fluttershy! You can come with tea and cookies all over the two of us!"
  1053. >"Eep!"
  1054. >You stare off into space.
  1055. >When you were on the road, you made a business out of humiliating others.
  1056. >It wasn't nice, but it payed the bills and thankfully nopony could find your one weakness.
  1057. >You were very sensitive to lewdness.
  1058. >You're not entirely sure why, and when it came up your herdmates were supportive with minimal teasing.
  1059. >You don't blame them.
  1060. >You'll do the same when you get a chance.
  1061. >Fluttershy walks into the room with a tray of treats.
  1062. >"Okay, let's forget all the things we said earlier and talk about you two."
  1063. >"Well you see, we've got this big powerful snake under our sheets that-"
  1064. "We are here to talk of Anonymous!"
  1065. >Despite your yelling, Fluttershy looks much happier to deal with you.
  1066. >As she should.
  1067. >"O-oh are you having herd trouble?"
  1068. "Not quite. We have simply learned some things of Anonymous and thought you may be able to help."
  1069. >"We could also learn to get in touch with our colty sides and you...Well no offense, but you're kind of colty."
  1070. >Fluttershy smiles.
  1071. >"None taken, and I'm always ready to help my friends in any way I can. So what do you want to know?"
  1072. >"Well, brace yourself for this, Anon's an alien."
  1073. >Starlight flinches back as if this pony could actually be more than mildly upset.
  1074. >"Oh, yes I know! He'll come and tell me about all the animals from his home planet."
  1075. >Now this is something.
  1076. >"He told you but he didn't tell us?!"
  1077. >You point at Starlight.
  1078. "What she said."
  1079. >"He didn't tell you? He's always coming inside-coming TO my cottage and telling me stories of Earth."
  1080. "Your mind is truly in the gutter today, isn't it?"
  1081. >Fluttershy nods.
  1082. >"I've just been waiting on my shipment of Neighpon..."
  1083. >You turn your ears forward.
  1084. "What was that? Trixie didn't catch it."
  1085. >"I-I said I was the one who did Anons physical, so I know a lot about him?"
  1086. >"Wait, so you know which parts are scars, right?"
  1087. >Fluttershy tilts her head before nodding.
  1088. >"Oh, yes. I forget ponies aren't used to seeing a hairless form or even scars, what with our fur."
  1089. >Fluttershy mulls something over before nodding to herself.
  1090. >"I'm the closest thing he has to a doctor around here since he's so different. I even have a case file on him."
  1091. "So give it to us!"
  1092. >She shakes her head.
  1093. >"I can't just betray his trust like that. I may not have taken the oath, but he still trusted me to do the right thing."
  1094. >"So you're not going to help us?"
  1095. >You look to your herd sister then back to Fluttershy.
  1096. >"I never said that. Wait here."
  1097. >Fluttershy steps from the room, leaving the two of you to stew, although thankfully not for long.
  1098. >She deposits a piece of paper with Starlight and moves back to her seat.
  1099. >"I've talked with Anon and that sketch is, by his estimation, what he used to look like. The other one is him now."
  1100. >Intrigued, you move to take a look.
  1101. >The drawings are rather well done and shows an Anonymous with his left ear intact.
  1102. >The musculature is very familiar, as you had gotten a very good feel for it.
  1103. >What was missing were the thick veins and ley lines.
  1104. "Trixie does not understand. Is this some part of Anonymous' aging?"
  1105. >Fluttershy simply shakes her head as Starlight grabs you with her magic.
  1106. >"Trixie you bucking idiot. He told you that we saw his scars. This is a before and after of the Everfree chewing him up and spitting him out."
  1107. >You look to Starlight and then back to the drawings.
  1108. >Looking over them again, you feel you're heart crawl up into your throat.
  1109. >By Celestias Grace how could he still walk with those across his legs.
  1110. >His chest and back looked like a fillys art project.
  1111. >His arms were about the same.
  1112. >And finally on the back of his neck were two vertical lines.
  1113. "H-how-"
  1114. >"His magic resistance kept him alive, the cave drawings gave him directions, and the other dead humans gave him his drive."
  1115. >You and your herd sister look to Fluttershy, who wore a soft smile.
  1116. >"It also helped that he found some herb that rejuvenated him. He thinks it turned him green, though."
  1117. >"H-he's not supposed to be green?"
  1118. >"He says he's pretty sure he's not."
  1119. "How could we not-"
  1120. >"You must think we're the worst ponys in Equestria."
  1121. >Starlight was right.
  1122. >You were horrible.
  1123. >So much of Anon was broken and the two of you just-
  1124. >"The fact that you're here proves you're not."
  1125. >You look to Fluttershy, doubt lacing your features.
  1126. >"Both of you came to me to ask for help with your stallion. Some mares have too much pride, and would never consider asking one outside their herd for help. I'm proud of both of you and will help anyway I can."
  1127. >She was right, too.
  1128. >You absolutely would have let your pride consume you.
  1129. >You sit back in your seat taking a bite out of a cookie.
  1130. >You chew for a moment before speaking.
  1131. "These aren't as good as his."
  1132. >"Trix-"
  1133. >"Good."
  1134. >You quirk an eyebrow at this shy mare not only interrupting another, but taking that comment in such a way.
  1135. >"Food always tastes better when it's made by someone you love."
  1136. >You sigh in defeat and look to your fellow unicorn.
  1137. "Cherish this, for you shall hear it once: you were right."
  1138. >Starlight gives a small smile before looking back to Fluttershy.
  1139. >"So is he, hurting, or sad, or something..."
  1140. >The shy mare shrugs.
  1141. >"I don't know."
  1142. >What?
  1143. "You don't know?!"
  1144. >"I don't have a psychology cutie mark, I have butterflies."
  1145. >You wave a hoof.
  1146. "Okay, okay. What of the other animals. How would they stand up to this kind of treatment."
  1147. >"Trixie you cock pipe, Anon's not an animal!"
  1148. >"Ahem."
  1149. >You both settle back in your seats to allow Fluttershy to continue.
  1150. >"Different creatures handle the forest differently. I haven't talked to any in the heart of the forest, but some of my animal friends say they go a little crazy the deeper they get. I doubt this is the case for Anon, as his planet is like the Everfree."
  1151. >"The whole planet?!"
  1152. >Fluttershy nods.
  1153. >"One of the games we play is called 'Which is Worse'. He'd take something from the Everfree and try to compare it to Earth. The Everfree usually won, and when Earth did it was their equivalent of the Everfree."
  1154. "There is a whole planet like the Everfree, and that has an Everfree?"
  1155. >"I'm not sure how accurate that is, but that seems like a good description for Australia."
  1156. >You shake your head.
  1157. "So this could've just been a normal thing for him?"
  1158. >Fluttershy gets off the couch and steps over to you.
  1159. >"There's really only one way to find out."
  1160. "What's that?"
  1161. >"Talk to him."
  1162. "Ah. Yes, Trixie knew that!"
  1163. >"Weren't you saying we should do that earlier today, Trix? So much for your alpha skills, huh?"
  1164. >You don't waste any time shoving a cookie into her cast, your magic being siphoned into it as you jam the cookie down.
  1165. >"Ah! HEY! How am I supposed to get that out!"
  1166. "You're not."
  1167. >Starlight glares at you as something starts scratching at the door.
  1168. >"Trixie."
  1169. >Starlight floats half of the cookies to her as Fluttershy looks towards the noise.
  1170. >"Ooh, that must be one of my animal friends. I'll be right back."
  1171. >You float the rest of the cookies to yourself, ready for battle.
  1172. "Sure thing, Fluttershy."
  1173. >The scratching intensifies as you both draw your battle lines in the crumbs.
  1174. >"Now hold on I'm right heeeeee....Girls, please help."
  1175. >You both look to the door to see...
  1176. >"Fluttershy move."
  1177. >Starlights horn is charging and aimed at the absolutely massive timberwolf blocking the door.
  1178. >The thing was probably on eye level with Anon!
  1179. >"Flutters. Move."
  1180. >Anon...
  1181. >You grab one of the sketches and think to what he said.
  1182. >How a faggot had taken that bit of his ear.
  1183. >How he'd whistle for a faggot.
  1184. >You look to the wolf and see that just like Anon, it had a bit of its left ear missing.
  1185. >"Fluttershy!"
  1186. >You hope you're not wrong.
  1187. "FAGGOT!"
  1188. >Usually you like attention.
  1189. >Two ponies and an oversized timberwolf is not a good crowd, however.
  1190. >The wolf shifts and shudders, a smaller wolf pulling away from the larger frame.
  1191. >The new, small wolf walks past the frozen Fluttershy and straight towards you.
  1192. >And immediately starts sniffing.
  1193. >"Trix-"
  1194. "I think it's Anons."
  1195. >She stares at the wolf now sniffing her.
  1196. >"He named a timberwolf faggot. A bundle of sticks. That is so him."
  1197. >The smaller wolf runs back outside and merges with the big one, who starts sniffing the ground.
  1198. "What's it-"
  1199. >"Wolves are pack animals. Anon is either a lost member of their pack or their alpha."
  1200. >You look to Fluttershy, who is staring down the massive beast with interest.
  1201. >Anon was the alpha of a timberwolf pack?
  1202. >Well that just makes him even better.
  1203. >The beast rears back its head and before any of you can react, lets off a howl loud enough to rattle bone.
  1204. >"Ah geeze my ears. What was that, Flutters."
  1205. >"Where's Anon?"
  1206. >"Wha- he's in town chasing Rainbow, why?"
  1207. >Fluttershy trots away and sets a cart next to the wolf.
  1208. >"The wolf is waiting for a return call and as soon as he hears it he's going to track down Anon, now-"
  1209. >The wolfs head snaps towards town and the whole creature becomes very still.
  1210. >Fluttershy keeps her eyes on the monster.
  1211. >"Starlight. Please get in the cart."
  1212. ----------
  1213. >You pull around a tight corner, the cart bumping in the small potholes that were the wolfs tracks.
  1214. >You had to see this.
  1215. >You had to.
  1216. >Anon had somehow tamed a timberwolf and it was returning to him.
  1217. >You wonder if Anon would let you use it in one of your shows.
  1218. >This is so exciting!
  1219. >Once Starlight was in the cart you had pushed Fluttershy out of the way to pull.
  1220. >You may not be the most magically gifted mare, but you were strong.
  1221. >Fluttershy had mentioned how this could go bad if he wan't the alpha, but you knew there was nothing to worry about.
  1222. >An alien, a tamer of beasts, and, judging by those scars, a survivor.
  1223. >He was the alpha, he'd be fine.
  1224. >Also you had Starlight.
  1225. >She could shoot it if she needed to.
  1226. >Wait, did you just call Anon the alpha?
  1227. >Of his pack!
  1228. >That's what you meant!
  1229. >"Trixie will you bucking drive this thing straight!"
  1230. >You grunt in annoyance.
  1231. "The road is a little bumpy thanks to our new friend."
  1232. >"I'm not sure if I'm ready to call a timberwolf a friend."
  1233. >You roll your eyes, but keep them mostly on the road.
  1234. "Why not? Anon seems to have trained it. If it returns to him it's probably coming home with us."
  1235. >"Oh, please no."
  1236. >"Girls, can we please focus? We may be following its tracks but, we don't know how far ahead it is."
  1237. >"Fluttershy, I don't think you understand how much Twilight will freak out about this."
  1238. >"I know very well, Starlight. So can we please find that wolf, or Anon, before her."
  1239. "You have wings, Fluttershy. Use them!"
  1240. >"...Oh."
  1241. >And like that the cart gets a little lighter.
  1242. >"You didn't have to yell at her."
  1243. "She told me to hurry up."
  1244. >"She did not and even if she did there is a very good reason."
  1245. "There is never a good reason to yell at Trixie."
  1246. >"She never yells, and what about when we're calling you for dinner?"
  1247. "...That is acceptable. Though I would prefer Anon to personally escort me to the dinner table."
  1248. >"What about me?"
  1249. "You can have the scraps."
  1250. >"Oh, buck yo-"
  1251. >A sound catches both of your ears.
  1252. >"You hear that?"
  1253. "Yes."
  1254. >You try and get a mental image of the town, thinking of a shortcut to take you to the whistling.
  1255. >The same whistling you heard everytime it would rain.
  1256. >You pull a hard right, peeling away from the tracks.
  1257. >The wolf was big, so it couldn't take the back routes or alleyways.
  1258. "Starlight, give Trixie a battering ram or something."
  1259. >A disc of light appears in front of you, allowing you to plow through the various trash and debris of the alleyway.
  1260. >You burst into the marketplace, trash flying forward as the wolf charges Anon.
  1261. >Anon had his arms open to greet the beast, from his right a bound Rainbow Dash struggled against the ropes as she stared down the wolf.
  1262. >"Anon that's a bucking timberwolf you need to untie me so I can-"
  1263. >"SIT!"
  1264. >The wolf ground out a trench as it skidded to a halt, happily panting before the human.
  1265. >"Wha-"
  1266. >"Is that you, boy? Is that my Jimmys?"
  1267. >The wolf rolls over, viny tongue lolling out.
  1268. >Anon steps forward, gently rubbing the wooden belly.
  1269. >"I thought you were dead. I thought I killed you. Where did you go?"
  1270. >The wolf rolls over and starts shuddering like before.
  1271. >However, instead of a smaller wolf being dropped off, it leaves something on the ground.
  1272. >"You found it?! You massive bundle of sticks, I thought this was gone for good, too!"
  1273. >You start to move forward and see that Anon is lifting up a very ornate looking glaive.
  1274. >It was as long as he was tall with the bottom almost looking like a club.
  1275. >The bladed portion was smooth on one side, while curved and jagged on the other.
  1276. >The whole thing was bone white and had dozens of holes pockmarking it.
  1277. >"H-hey, Anon you mind-hey!"
  1278. >Anon picks Rainbow up by the slack rope and waves her in front of the wolfs nose.
  1279. >"You crazy bucking-"
  1280. >Whatever she was going to say was cut short by the heavy growl of wood.
  1281. >"See this, Jimmy?"
  1282. >Anon picks up one of the trash cans that had rolled over to him.
  1283. >"This goes in the trash."
  1284. >Rainbow wiggles a little as she is lowered into the trash can, but keeps her eyes on the wolf.
  1285. >he pulls her out and offers the rope.
  1286. >"Now you do it."
  1287. >The wolf grabs the rope and dunks the mare in the trash.
  1288. >"Oh, you're such a good boy!"
  1289. >You grab the lid off the ground and put it on top of the can.
  1290. "Hello, Anonymous!"
  1291. >Both Anon and the wolf snap over to you, the only ones left in the market.
  1292. >"Hey, girls! How're ya-"
  1293. >That growl is not pleasant to listen to.
  1294. >Especially when it's directed towards you.
  1295. >THWAK
  1296. >"Jimmy, stop that. They're friends."
  1297. >You guess the wolfs name is Jimmy.
  1298. >Jimmy doesn't seem to appreciate the smack over the nose.
  1299. >Anon walks over to you and wraps an arm around you before waving Jimmy over.
  1300. >"C'mere, boy."
  1301. >Jimmy cautiously steps forward, before once again sniffing you and Starlight.
  1302. >"So his name is Jimmy?"
  1303. >Oh yeah, Starlight was here.
  1304. >"Not exactly. They have individual names based on which forms they take. This one is called Massive-Faggot-Mega-Ultra-Uber-Voltron-Jim. You may call him Jim."
  1305. >"Th-"
  1306. "Whatever Starlight is about to say, Trixie disagrees. That is an excellent name."
  1307. >"I know, right? Starlight, you should be ashamed of yourself for insulting Lord Jim."
  1308. >Starlight furrows her brow.
  1309. >"Is Lord part of his title or name?"
  1310. >"Nah, I'm just ranking him above you."
  1311. >"Why am I getting ranked under a literal faggot?! Also, you can't rank me! I'm the alpha!"
  1312. >No she's not.
  1313. >"Wow, that's not very friendly of you. Also I didn't rank you, I just wanted to see you're reaction."
  1314. >That's a nice shade of red that Starlight's turning.
  1315. "So what do you mean by 'forms'?"
  1316. >Anon gives you that grin that you love so much.
  1317. >It always ends up with Starlight mad or you in trouble.
  1318. >And Starlight is already mad.
  1319. >"Pack: full!"
  1320. >And like that Jimmy explodes.
  1321. "Gwah!"
  1322. >"What the hay?!"
  1323. >Before any of the wood can hit the ground you can see shapes forming from the sticks.
  1324. >A moment later and seven smaller timberwolves are sitting in front of Anon.
  1325. >"Wow."
  1326. "Yes, that-"
  1327. >You are cut off by the glaive whistling through the air and pointing towards the last wolf.
  1328. >Anon looks to the first in the line, his expression neutral.
  1329. >"Henson."
  1330. >Henson steps forward and taps his nose to the glaive.
  1331. >"Anon, what's wrong?"
  1332. >"New addition, hold on."
  1333. >The two march over to the new wolf, looking it over.
  1334. >Anon circles it as Henson remains still.
  1335. >As Anon walks, he starts to spin the glaive, which produces an eery howl.
  1336. >No, howl isn't the right word.
  1337. >This sounded like the screaming of tortured souls.
  1338. >The faster the glaive spun, the more you could pick out individual voices.
  1339. >It sounded like Anon and Starlight.
  1340. >As the screaming continues, you start to question you life.
  1341. >You weren't a good pony, were you?
  1342. >You made Starlight mad.
  1343. >The one time you tried to provide for Anon, the griffons came and ruined that.
  1344. >You could hear your mother now.
  1345. >Why did you keep hurting them?
  1346. >Why not just lay down and-
  1347. >THUD
  1348. >"Seems like a decent pick. We'll find out soon enough."
  1349. >AIR!
  1350. >Breathe now!
  1351. >"Oh shit! Girls I'm sorry, I didn't even think about doing that with you right next to me!"
  1352. >"W-what was that?"
  1353. >"It's a-uh-thing leftover from the creature that made it."
  1354. >You look up to see the 'new recruit' barely standing, while the rest of the wolves look unphased.
  1355. "What, exactly?"
  1356. >Anon rubs the back of his head.
  1357. >"Well I call them Crying Boners because they're made of bone, and they carve they're bones, skulls in particular, to look like they're crying or sad. Also they hang out in dark, damp caves so I thought the name fit."
  1358. "They do that to themselves?"
  1359. >"No, they're like termite colonies for bones that walk around, with some real bad juju. I wasn't affected, thankfully, but we lost some good wolves to the one that had this as an arm."
  1360. >"Oh."
  1361. >"Yeeaaaah, so....My pack?"
  1362. >The two of you had regained your breath so you both nod.
  1363. >"So we have Jim Henson, my second in command. Jimmi Hendrix, who if you give some string is very good with music. He's our tracker and distraction when needed. Jim Bo and Jim Bob also known as Bobbo-"
  1364. >At the name, two of the wolves merge into one, much bigger wolf.
  1365. >"-he and I were running as tanks, taking most of the damage, so the rest could get the kill. We've got Jim Boyle, who's a killstealing bitch, but gets the job done. And this one against my leg is Jimmy Dean. He'll grind up a tar gator with his face, but is the biggest cuddle bug on two worlds. The new one will get his name soon."
  1366. >You have to ask.
  1367. "Why are they all named Jim?"
  1368. >Anon smiles, putting his hands up for jazz hooves.
  1369. >"Because then I can say my Jimmies are rustled."
  1370. >At this, six wolves start to make rustling noises.
  1371. >The seventh joins in a second later.
  1372. >"...don't judge me, magic horses."
  1373. >"Well Ah'm seein' it, but I still don't believe it."
  1374. >You look over to see Applejack carrying a worn out Fluttershy.
  1375. >She was supposed to find Anonymous.
  1376. >And does she have such little endurance?
  1377. >"Ah don't even have the words, sugarcube. Are these really yours? Also, where's mah rope?"
  1378. >"Yes, this is my pack, and I'm sorry but I had to throw your rope in that trash can to teach them a trick."
  1379. >Applejack looks to the trash can before lifting the lid, finding the still bound Rainbow.
  1380. >"Please help."
  1381. >"...One sec."
  1382. >Applejack puts the lid back on and moves towards your cart.
  1383. >"So they're safe, right? We don't need to worry about them...y'know."
  1384. >"They'll only kill what I say. Also in self defense, so we should probably get a PSA out or something."
  1385. >Applejack clicks her tongue as she holds a staring contest with Bobbo.
  1386. >"We'll get on that. Ya keepin' 'em?"
  1387. >"Of course I am! If you lost Winona wouldn't you be happy to get her back?"
  1388. >Starlight pulls Fluttershy onto the cart before she continues.
  1389. >"If you can keep 'em wrangled I don't see much of'n issue. I'm just concerned about anything that comes out of that forest."
  1390. >"So are you saying you're scared of me?"
  1391. >The farmer tilts her hat back.
  1392. >"'Scuse me?"
  1393. >"I came out of that forest. Is poor widdle Applejack scared of an innocent, defenseless colt?"
  1394. >She looks at the glaive.
  1395. >"I'm not one ta insult a stallion, but you are currently neither of those things."
  1396. >She looks over to you.
  1397. >"Sorry, but-"
  1398. "No, you are absolutely right. As alpha, Trixie would never choose a boring stalion."
  1399. >It was weird being quiet for that long.
  1400. >You put up a small shield towards the back of your head and feel something bounce off of it.
  1401. >"Gah! That's it, no more magic lessons for you, you cum coated cunt!"
  1402. >You grin over at Anonymous.
  1403. "Oh, Anonymous. Trixie believes she needs a fresh coat. Care to help?"
  1404. >Before Anonymous can reply, Applejack clears her throat.
  1405. >"Well I'mma take my leave. Please get my other rope when ya can."
  1406. >"Oh, wait I have it right here along with the bits for the apples."
  1407. >There's a flash of light and the rope and bits appear in front of Applejack.
  1408. >"Hey, I thought I was supposed to be the responsible one."
  1409. "Be reasonable, Anonymous. None of us are."
  1410. >Anon nods as Applejack collects the bits and ropes.
  1411. >"Thank ya'll, Starlight. And nice mustache."
  1412. >Starlight wiggles the mustache, getting a laugh out of Anon.
  1413. >The three of you look to eachother as Applejack begins to haul away the still bound Dash.
  1414. >"Well we need to get Flutters home and my pack needs a baahaHA-a wash. Don't say the B word around Dean."
  1415. >You look to the now second largest timberwolf, it's eyes locked on Anon.
  1416. >"D-does he get violent when you do that?"
  1417. >"No, he just hates it. Now I know Flutters has some kind of bay to wash the bigger animals. Starlight can seal the two of us in there so we don't get any escapees."
  1418. >Walking around them was one thing.
  1419. >"Uh."
  1420. >But being locked in a room with them?
  1421. "Trixie trusts you, Anonymous, but this may be a little much."
  1422. >"Oh, please. Save for Boyle and Henson, though Henson's just mean to the others, they're a bunch of sweethearts."
  1423. "Well what about the new one?"
  1424. >"He'll be locked in a room with seven of the Everfrees meanest. He ain't gonna try shit."
  1425. >Seven...
  1426. >You look over to the seven wolves, Hendrix was rolling in the grass while Bobbo licked the trash can.
  1427. >You may be a strong mare, but these are seven powerful predators.
  1428. >You don't like it, but...
  1429. "They're safe?"
  1430. >"Nope. But they're my murder puppies and they do as I say."
  1431. >You sigh.
  1432. "You are so making cookies for this."
  1433. >"Jokes on you! I'm making cookies anyways."
  1434. ----------
  1435. >You are Anon, because why wouldn't you be.
  1436. >And today is fucking awesome.
  1437. >You went out with the girls, threw RD in the trash, and got Jim to do the same.
  1438. >And your Jimmies we're back!
  1439. >They even brought a potential Jim.
  1440. >He'll need to be tested or sent away, but you can deal with that later.
  1441. >Flutters had come to on the ride back, and was severely disappointed to find she couldn't talk to the Jimmies.
  1442. >At least in her own way.
  1443. >Dean had laid down on top of her after she had gotten too close, and started to try grooming her.
  1444. >She had giggled the entire time.
  1445. >She was more than happy to let you use the wash bay, and said that it would be a good way to familiarize your pack to your herd.
  1446. >You didn't have to worry about Trixie, as you had bought her with your peanut butter cookies.
  1447. >You only made them for special occasions or when she was good.
  1448. >So really just for special occasions.
  1449. >Starlight was a different story.
  1450. >Her magi-cast wasn't like the Earth counterpart, in that it was waterproof so she could totally get it wet.
  1451. >She was just being a big baby about locking the three of you in a room with a bunch of wolves.
  1452. >"Anon, no."
  1453. "C'mon."
  1454. >"They're dangerous!"
  1455. "Trixie already agreed, maybe she should be alpha."
  1456. >"You-"
  1457. "Of the herd. I'm alpha of the pack. I'd say they're my bitches, but that's you two."
  1458. >You try to hold back your grin as Starlight grinds her teeth.
  1459. >Trixie returns from dropping off your clothes and Starlights mustache in Fluttershys cottage.
  1460. >"Is she still complaining? It's not like we're infiltrating a changeling hive again, Starlight. We're just going to give Anonymous' wolves a ba-"
  1461. "Bababa! Not yet. Don't say that word yet."
  1462. >You look over and see Dean staring you down.
  1463. >Boyle and Henson were flanking the new guy, who seemed nervous around you.
  1464. >Good.
  1465. >He'll need to earn his name, but that's work for later.
  1466. >"See, that right there! The way you're treating this like he's going to explode if you say a single word!"
  1467. >You rise to your full height, the only thing on you being your boxers, your necklace, your shoulder pad with leather straps wrapping across you, and your glaive holstered onto it.
  1468. >Ponies always whined about the necklace.
  1469. "Starlight do you trust me?"
  1470. >"Of course-"
  1471. "So come with me."
  1472. >"..."
  1473. "I'll give you a massage. Full rubdown, top to bottom, and if you want a happy ending."
  1474. >"Trixie wants a massage!"
  1475. "You agreed to cookies."
  1476. >Trixie snorts and moves over to the bay.
  1477. >"Knowing you, I'd probably be getting that happy ending anyways."
  1478. "Yeah, but you look stressed and seem like you could really use a massage."
  1479. >Starlight narrows her eyes.
  1480. >"Were you winding me up on purpose?"
  1481. "Nope! Just being my usual self!"
  1482. >"That's not true. You're especially obnoxious today."
  1483. "Well, I'm especially happy today."
  1484. >"Ugh, why do we even need to wash them? They're sap and sticks."
  1485. "And you're meat and fur. Don't be rude, Starlight. Seriously though, you may not be able to see it, but they're filthy."
  1486. >Starlight looks over your posse, pursing her lips.
  1487. >"You won't drop this will you?"
  1488. "Honestly, I'm trying to be nice since you can't run or teleport with that cast on. Plus, you need a wash also."
  1489. >"I'm covered in popcorn because of you, you-"
  1490. "There's also a cookie or two in your cast."
  1491. >Starlight turns to glare at Trixie, who just gives her a smug grin.
  1492. >Finally, she hangs her head.
  1493. >"Okay."
  1494. >You lean down and kiss Starlight on the nose.
  1495. "Thank you. I promise I'll make this up to you."
  1496. >"Trixie too!"
  1497. "You agreed to cookies!"
  1498. >"Trixie would like more than that!"
  1499. "You're a cheap date and you know it."
  1500. >"So are you!"
  1501. >You look to Starlight and poke her in the chest.
  1502. "What about you? Are you a cheap date?"
  1503. >"Hrm, we'll see how much trouble they give us. Let's go."
  1504. >You pick up the stubborn mare and move towards the bay, giving out a short whistle.
  1505. >Immediately six wolves follow, with number seven picking up a second later.
  1506. >Understandable, hasn't been around you so it wouldn't recognize your commands.
  1507. >Learns quick, at least.
  1508. "Okay, there's four hoses hanging from the ceiling in here. Star will put the shield up to keep them in, at least for the doors and windows. Dean may just tear through a wall in panic and Bobbo may do it for fun."
  1509. >"Not giving me much confidence, Anon."
  1510. >"Nonsense, Starlight. So long as they're going through the walls, they're not going through us."
  1511. >"Shouldn't we keep from destroying Fluttershys stuff?"
  1512. "We will do that by focusing on Dean first, and causing so much chaos that the twins will wash the others by just running around. So put up that shield and each of you grab a hose."
  1513. >Your pack is instantly wary as the shield goes up, some looking to you for direction.
  1514. >You turn a valve, listening to the water rush through the building.
  1515. >Looking to your girls, you see Trixie has two hoses while Star has one, keeping the rest of her energy for the shield.
  1516. >You grab the last hose and turn towards Dean, his tail wagging happily.
  1517. "Bath time."
  1518. >You immediately have the packs attention, Dean in particular looking for a way out.
  1519. >You nod to the girls and all hell breaks loose.
  1520. >Dean yelps and charges the barrier, causing Starlight to drop her hose and reach for her horn.
  1521. >"Gah!"
  1522. >You pick up the dropped hose as, sure enough, the twins come to their pack brothers rescue.
  1523. >By viciously attacking the streams of water.
  1524. "Trixie, keep those on Dean!"
  1525. >Trixie does as she's told while you lead the hooligans on a mad chase around the bay.
  1526. >Really you just spin in place, soaking wolf and pony alike.
  1527. "Shine, shine, shine."
  1528. >You see New Jim panicking a little, but Henson had a paw on his tail.
  1529. >Hendrix is rolling in a puddle, occasionally pawing at the streams as they sweep over.
  1530. >But where's-
  1531. >"Gwablrblbr-Anon! I can't keep this shield up with Dean attacking it like this and you-bwawbralrlr."
  1532. >You forgot Starlight got messy too.
  1533. >You get the attention of Bob and Bo with one stream and move them to the other side of the bay.
  1534. >You proceed to hose Starlight down extra good to make up for getting her dirty.
  1535. >"Anon!"
  1536. "I'm trying to get the cookie bits."
  1537. >"Those are in my cast! Wait-wablrblrbrblrl."
  1538. >That should do it for her cast.
  1539. "Okay, Trix that's enough."
  1540. >The hoses stop and the only sound in the shed is dripping, Hendrix splashing, and Dean being a big, whiny baby.
  1541. >Everything is soaked, but once again the count seems off.
  1542. >"Anonymous, is one missing?"
  1543. >You nod at Trixie.
  1544. "Yeah, Boyle either got away before Star closed us in or-hurk!"
  1545. >You look up to see your spinning had caught up with you, having twisted the hoses.
  1546. >As well as-
  1547. "Boyle, you son of a bitch."
  1548. >There, laying lazily on the rafters, was Boyle.
  1549. >You spin as fast as you can, trying to unwind the hoses.
  1550. "Trixie, open up!"
  1551. >Water flies in torrents at the wooden mongrel.
  1552. >Boyle seemed to dance around the streams, not a drop touching him.
  1553. >This is why you really wanted Starlight here.
  1554. >Dean you could wrestle.
  1555. >The twins you could play with.
  1556. >Henson was smart and well behaved.
  1557. >And Hendrix was Hendrix.
  1558. >But Boyle.
  1559. >Motherfucking Boyle!
  1560. >Ever since the River, you had never been able to get him near water.
  1561. "It all ends today, Boyle!"
  1562. >"How is this thing so fast? Is it part cat?"
  1563. >You're pretty sure they are, but that's not important right now.
  1564. "AHAHAHAHAHA! Clean the unclean! You shall be cleansed by these holy waters, blessed by the Emperor and you will enjoy it!"
  1565. >"Anonymous? Are you okay?"
  1566. "YES! Take my hoses I'm going up there!"
  1567. >>You charge towards a wall, bouncing off of it and landing in the rafters with Boyle before either of the girls can say anything.
  1568. "Just let it happen, Boyle! There's no getting away now!"
  1569. >You leap forward while Boyle leaps to the side, streams of water dancing around the two of you.
  1570. >"Anon, I'd rather not see you break anything!"
  1571. "I will not be denied, Starlight! Victory is mine! He shall be clean!"
  1572. >You pull your glaive off your back.
  1573. >Boyle darts past you, trying to get to the other side of the bay.
  1574. "Get ready, Trix!"
  1575. >You knew Boyle.
  1576. >Nothing would see him until he was using some somethings neck as a chew toy.
  1577. >But once found, he was useless.
  1578. >You charge forward, hoping for an encore.
  1579. >You get it, as Boyle trys to slip past you, only for the blunt end of the glaive to catch under his belly.
  1580. >You flip him like a pancake, tossing him onto the twins where he gets mercilessly hosed down by Trixie.
  1581. "VICTORY!"
  1582. >"Haha! There was no doubt we would be victorious! The two of us are unstoppable. Good thing Starlight didn't interfere, or things might have gone badly."
  1583. >Starlight, who looked absolutely spent from keeping Dean inside, looks over to Trixie.
  1584. >"I-huff-am going to-foo-put you in stasis and-hoo-eat every single one of those-puff-cookies in front of you."
  1585. >"...You can't do that. That is cruel and mean. Anon, tell her she can't do that."
  1586. "Starlight."
  1587. >Starlight is barely able to lift her head as you hop down.
  1588. >You set your glaive to the side and wrap her in a hug.
  1589. "You can put the shield down now."
  1590. >The shield drops and Star sighs in relief, Dean charging away while Boyle simply kept his back to you
  1591. >"Hey! Trix-"
  1592. "Come here and get in on this hug."
  1593. >Trixie grumbles as she marches over and nestles in between you two.
  1594. "This really means a lot to me, you know? Some of these guys were my first family showing up in this world, and now I get to show them to my new family."
  1595. >Star gives you a nuzzle.
  1596. >"Well if they mean that much to you, we'll be sure to get to know them."
  1597. >"And see if-"
  1598. "You're not using them for your shows. I have to get them adjusted to society before we do that."
  1599. >Trixie snorts.
  1600. >"Trixie wasn't-"
  1601. "Yes you were, now shut up and don't ruin the moment."
  1602. >You hug both mares tighter, while both nuzzle into you.
  1603. >"Aaaawwwww."
  1604. >All three of your heads snap up to see Discord hanging from the rafters.
  1605. >"Well if it isn't my favorite herd of troublemakers. I swear if you three made any more chaos I'd be out of a job."
  1606. "Sup, Disco Dee? Whatcha need?"
  1607. >Discord pulls out a PK meter.
  1608. >"Well you see, I was loading warp spawn into my didgeridoo-"
  1609. "Question! Why?"
  1610. >Discord huffs.
  1611. >"There are these ships that have been flying across my lawn, so I started shooting warp spawn at them. Anyways, before I was so RUDELY interrupted, I was saying I got a nice big spike of chaos...stuff. Honestly if you give it terminology it starts to make sense, and then it's no longer chaos."
  1612. >Discord stares off into space.
  1613. >"I would have gotten here sooner, but I sent that line of thought to the me in the past. I got lost in the '80s, got a new do, and maybe redid history little. Not your '80s though, so you're fine. After that I got back just in time for your little moment and decided to continue the running joke. Moving on, why are there timberwolves and did you give them a bath? Because if so, well I wouldn't give up my time with Q'Tzeltl, but I'm sorry I missed it."
  1614. >You nod, rubbing Hendrixs belly.
  1615. "Yep these are my wolves, my pack."
  1616. >Discord grins.
  1617. >"Oh, you three just get better by the day. I don't suppose there's room for one more in your herd, is there?"
  1618. "Uh, I don't swing that way buddy."
  1619. >"Oh come now, my boy! I can be a lady of chaos as well."
  1620. "Well I'd still know you were a guy, and couldn't help but think of how gay it was if we made out."
  1621. >Discord puffs up, in every sense of the word.
  1622. >"Now you listen here-"
  1623. >"Discord I am very tired. Can we please not have some pointless argument?"
  1624. >Discord chuckles at Starlight.
  1625. >"Oh but if we don't have some pointless arguing, then the internet will start screeching about how the story isn't RGRE enough. I mean, have you seen the state of that place? Admittedly I go on there with a broken keyboard and cause half of it, but still! In fact, I'm going to start an argument right now. Ah-hem. It;s purfictly strait, too masterbait 2 traps........."
  1626. >Why does he have a fishing pole?
  1627. >And is there a little slip of paper on the hook that says 'bait'?
  1628. >"But enough fourth wall humor. I'm curious as to what that is?"
  1629. >You look to see Discord is looking at your glaive.
  1630. "This? It's something from the forest. Got it from an ugly bag of bones and bugs. In fact, this particular one nearly did me in once. See this burn here?"
  1631. >You point to a broad burn on your lower right side.
  1632. "That's from this thing. "
  1633. >You knock the glaive on the floor.
  1634. >"A-and you kept it after that."
  1635. >You look to Star.
  1636. "Of course! This thing kicks ass. It's fire proof, which is good since it can light itself on fire, pretty lightweight, and would let me walk kinda freely among the forest."
  1637. >"But you got hurt because of it!"
  1638. >You look at Trixie and point to your necklace.
  1639. "These are parts from almost everything that left a mark on me."
  1640. >It was was heavy, with just over a dozen trophies.
  1641. >The string was from a timberwolf outside of your pack.
  1642. >The vines the wolves had for tongues was pretty handy.
  1643. >Keeping it all together was tar-gator tar, the hides of which you used to create new boots when you couldn't use your old ones anymore.
  1644. >"Well, since I missed the fun stuff I'll be on my way."
  1645. >Discord is gone in a flash and you look back to your girls.
  1646. "Did I not tell you about that either?"
  1647. >Starlight shakes her head while Trixie stares at the ground.
  1648. "Talking. Gotta work on that."
  1649. >Starlight runs a hoof along the burn.
  1650. >"To be entirely honest Anon, we haven't been so great either. We never asked because we didn't even know these were scars."
  1651. >You tilt your head.
  1652. "You didn't know these were scars? What did you think they were?"
  1653. >"Trixie thought they were natural markings or veins! Like the one in your penis or that big one in Starlights neck that shows up everytime she gets mad."
  1654. >"Trix-"
  1655. "Star has one in her neck?"
  1656. >"Yes it's on the underside, so you probably couldn't see it up there. Here if I-"
  1657. >Trixie starts poking Starlight in the neck.
  1658. >"-keep poking around here it'll show up."
  1659. >Star is currently glaring at Trixie.
  1660. >But you're curious now, so you start poking.
  1661. "Poke."
  1662. >"Poke."
  1663. "Poke."
  1664. >"Po-"
  1665. >"Can you two stop being idiots for one minute?!"
  1666. >"Oh look, there it is!"
  1667. >That is pretty big.
  1668. >You look to the infuriated mare with your best smile.
  1669. "You know the answer to that, Glims."
  1670. >Starlight sighs.
  1671. >"Look, I was just trying to have a moment and-"
  1672. >You scoop her up, silencing her.
  1673. "We had a moment. Hell, we've been having moments all over town! So if it's okay with you two, I say we just go home and look at the stars or something."
  1674. >"This sounds good to Trixie."
  1675. >You nod at Trixie, keeping your eyes on Starlight as she nods.
  1676. >"It is going to get dark soon. I guess we might as well get a drink and-"
  1677. "You can't drink."
  1678. >"What? Why not?"
  1679. >You give Starlight a boop.
  1680. "Tomorrow's Monday. You have to go and be a therapist for all the little shits too stupid to friendship."
  1681. ----------
  1682. >This was one of the longest weekends of your life.
  1683. >First the three of you left that school and decided to do something fun.
  1684. >Or, more accurately, something stupid.
  1685. >There was a fight between the three of you and then you went home.
  1686. >On Saturday, Spike burned your biscuits.
  1687. >You may have given Starlight his good ice cream, but he still isn't forgiven.
  1688. >Also Starlight likes strawberry ice cream.
  1689. >You should bap her just for that.
  1690. >Then there was the griffon-maybe-mob that Trixie got the kelbi meat from, and you had to return.
  1691. >Next day you made a bet with RD and now she has to apologize and 'everything'.
  1692. >You are so abusing her vagueness.
  1693. >AND THEN JIMMIES!
  1694. >You got your glaive back too, but that wasn't as important as your boys.
  1695. >You finish putting the straps on after getting dressed, while Starlight finishes fixing the wash bay.
  1696. >After you reminded her of work, she was less than pleased.
  1697. >You called for a scramble and your pack had run out of the building, Trixie and New Jim trailing a second later.
  1698. >Still need a bit of training.
  1699. >Your magic funniness meant you could sit in front of her and laugh as she tried to nuke herself.
  1700. >"I can't bucking believe all of this happened in three days! Where did the time go? Was there some temporal anomaly? Or did-"
  1701. >"Starlight~"
  1702. >"..."
  1703. >You whistle for your wolves to gather.
  1704. >"Who's my adorable little ball of stress? Is it you?"
  1705. "Pack: wolf!"
  1706. >Six wolves explode, the bramble merging into one very large wolf.
  1707. >"It's you, isn't it?"
  1708. >The big wolf looks to New Jim, who runs over and merges into the pile.
  1709. >You look to your girls and are almost thankful that Star has a cast on, because if she didn't she would probably be choking Trixie out right now.
  1710. >"If I didn't have this bucking cast on I would strangle you with my bare hooves!"
  1711. "HA!"
  1712. >See how well you know your girls?
  1713. >Whoever says you're not in a good relationship is a dumbass.
  1714. >You walk over to Star, Jim staying close.
  1715. "Starlight, how would you feel about a ride across town?"
  1716. >She flicks an ear.
  1717. >"You've been-"
  1718. "Not just me. I'll still carry you, but we're going to ride Jim back home."
  1719. >Starlight looks between you and Jim.
  1720. >"Buck it. I'm too tired to care."
  1721. >The mare sits back, waiting for you to pick her up.
  1722. "Oh wait, we have to say thanks to Flutters."
  1723. >"Fluttershy is gone. Trixie found a note along with our belongings. She took the mustache, though."
  1724. >You look at Trixie.
  1725. "You were inside her house without her there?"
  1726. >"Yes, what of it?"
  1727. "Did you take anything?"
  1728. >Trixie starts sputtering as Starlight rolls her eyes.
  1729. >"T-Trixie would never take anything that's not-"
  1730. "Trixie."
  1731. >Trixie sees you have your 'serious face' on and starts grumbling.
  1732. >"Trixie would not appropriate items from Fluttershy as she knows you are friends with her."
  1733. "Meaning you'd get an extra hard bapping when I found out."
  1734. >Trixie wiggles in place, but stays quiet.
  1735. "You need to be good. If we have to bail you out of jail again I'll bring the fan and bap you through the bars."
  1736. >She grumbles as you pick up Starlight and pat Jim on his back.
  1737. >Jim lays down, letting you swing a leg over his back.
  1738. >You look to see Trixie still being a grump.
  1739. "Well are you getting on or not?"
  1740. >Trixie looks to Jim and then back to you.
  1741. >"Is he-"
  1742. "If I have to explain that they're safe again, I'll have Bobbo carry you back by the scruff of your neck."
  1743. >Trixie hurries forward before skidding to a halt as she tries to figure out how to get on.
  1744. >You decide to give her a hand.
  1745. >As she rises into the air, by the scruff of her neck, she starts kicking and yelling.
  1746. >"Anonymous! Put Trixie down right-nng."
  1747. >Fun little trick you learned.
  1748. >If you pull Trixies mane she'll lock up completely.
  1749. >Just can't do it in public.
  1750. >Also if you do it too hard, you make a mess.
  1751. >It's a science that you are working very hard on mastering.
  1752. >You settle her down behind you, Starlight snickering at the sight.
  1753. "Come on, boy. Let's get you planted."
  1754. >"Th-that's not fair."
  1755. >Jim starts moving as Starlight looks up to you.
  1756. >"Planted?"
  1757. >You nod.
  1758. "Yeah, they'll plant themselves to either 'sleep' or ambush prey. It's pretty neat the stuff they can do, especially when trained."
  1759. >Trixie had come to what little sense that she had and wraps her hooves around you.
  1760. >"So does that mean-"
  1761. "Oh, that didn't take you too long. Hold on, Trix."
  1762. >You grab a bundle of sticks at the nape of Jims neck and pull, causing the wolf to lurch forward.
  1763. "Hya, boy! Let's get home!"
  1764. >Jim immediately pulls towards the Everfree but you pull him back, staying on the edge of town.
  1765. >"AAAAAHHHH! How fast does this thing go?!"
  1766. >You giggle at Starlight.
  1767. "What, you wanna know how much horsepower he has?"
  1768. >Trixie is screaming her lungs out.
  1769. >But if she's screaming, she's alive so that's okay.
  1770. >You had almost forgotten this.
  1771. >With how smoothly Jim ran, you would almost think you were standing still.
  1772. >The wind was catching in your glaive, making it howl.
  1773. >You needed to make it spin a certain way to start the mind fuckery, and do even more for the fire so just running with it was fine.
  1774. >Momma never said anything about running with monster limbs, just scissors.
  1775. >You didn't have your armor, but you had a new, better weight.
  1776. >One was in your arm while the other was holding on tightly behind you.
  1777. >Huh
  1778. >Guess this is why you kept fighting.
  1779. >"A-are we here already? Is it over?"
  1780. >Your head snaps up.
  1781. "Uh yeah, Trix. You can get off."
  1782. >Trixie doesn't wait for Jim to lower himself down, simply throwing herself off while you steady yourself with Starlight.
  1783. >"Something wrong, Anon?"
  1784. >You swing your leg back over and look to a rather frazzled Starlight.
  1785. "Yeah, just some old memories. Pack: full."
  1786. >Among the whirlwind of timber, Starlight gives you a worried eye.
  1787. >"...Good ones, right?"
  1788. "Yeah...Hey, dumb question, can I have some of your tail? I need it for Hendrix."
  1789. >Starlights mouth hangs open as she looks between you and the wolf currently rolling over Dean.
  1790. >"Hey! Why not Trixies tail?"
  1791. "Yours isn't as long."
  1792. >"W-we have the same length in tails!"
  1793. "Well sure they're the same length, but Stars has that curly bit to it, so that makes it longer."
  1794. >"W-well I have a bigger tuft. Look at mine and then look at how small hers is!"
  1795. >"Hey, I have a perfectly average tuft!"
  1796. >"We should start calling you Tuftlet Glimmer from now on."
  1797. >"...You know what? Forget eating the cookies. I'm just going to burn-"
  1798. >Starlight is stopped by the fan tapping her nose.
  1799. >She looks up at you, trepidation clear on her face.
  1800. "No one burns my food."
  1801. >You level the fan at Trixie.
  1802. "No one...So can I get those tail hairs or-"
  1803. >"Ugh, fine you batty bean bruiser."
  1804. >You set her down, giving her a quick kiss.
  1805. "I do not bruise it."
  1806. >You pull your necklace off and step behind her.
  1807. >"You certainly try."
  1808. >In one quick motion, you use one of the sharper claws to get what you need.
  1809. "I remember you screaming for me to go harder. Hendrix! Come here, faggot!"
  1810. >Starlight rolls her eyes as Hendrix rolls your way.
  1811. >"I've been meaning to ask, is Hendrix okay?"
  1812. "He's about to be a lot better."
  1813. >You take a knee as the wolf gets close and offer the hair.
  1814. >Hendrix instantly perks up, sniffing and eyeing what you're holding before eating it.
  1815. >"Wha-Ew! Anon that's disgusting!"
  1816. >"Trixie wouldn't go that far, since she is a bigger mare, but she will agree that it is unpleasant."
  1817. >You wave them off.
  1818. "Give him a second."
  1819. >Sure enough, it's not long before strings take positions across the little guy, chords being plucked up and down his frame.
  1820. >The whole process takes maybe three minutes of dancing strings, bits of wood plucking chords, and tuning.
  1821. >Most of the chords went down his back, with some tracing where ribs would be and others running down his legs.
  1822. >As soon as he's done he strums a riff, wagging his tail happily.
  1823. "Hendrix here can't speak like the others. So when he saw me playing with an improvised guitar one day, he ate it and did that."
  1824. >You pick Hendrix up, awkwardly cradling the guitar wolf.
  1825. >You pluck a chord and can feel the wolf relax in your arms.
  1826. "So how about I play you two a song to end the weekend?"
  1827. _-_-_-_-_-_
  1828. >You are Twilight Sparkle.
  1829. >And you hate this.
  1830. >"I'm telling you AJ, he cheated. He didn't catch me by playing fair."
  1831. >"He caughtcha when ya were talking, didn't he?"
  1832. >"...It still doesn't count."
  1833. >You clear your throat.
  1834. "Since we're on the subject of Anon, there's something we need to talk about."
  1835. >AJ perks up.
  1836. >"Those wolves'a his? Seem well behaved enough. Said that we should get out a PSA 'cause they'll kill in self defense though."
  1837. "...Noted, but no. It's because of this."
  1838. >You lay a sheet of parchment on the table, which Rarity picks up.
  1839. >After skimming it she looks over to you.
  1840. >"Darling, you can't be serious."
  1841. >Your friends try to scooch towards Rarity.
  1842. >"What's up? We gotta go and kick some flank again?"
  1843. >Rarity shakes her head.
  1844. >"No, Rainbow. Anonymous' 'threat level' has been increased until the end of next month. Meaning that if he leaves Ponyville a small group of soldiers will follow him. All because of his wolves and...a dangerous magical artifact? What is that part about, Twilight?"
  1845. >You sigh and think back to your copy of Evils of the Everfree.
  1846. >There were three copies in existence and Celestia gave you one after Anon showed up.
  1847. >The tome was more bookmark than book at this point.
  1848. >You used blue for what you think he encountered, red for what you're sure of, and near the back there was a single green.
  1849. "Who saw him today? He should have had something that looked like it was made of bone."
  1850. >"That spear thingy, yeah I saw it!"
  1851. >"Uh, Ah saw it too."
  1852. >"Um, me three. It was very pretty looking. But is it really made of bone?"
  1853. >So Rainbow, AJ, and Fluttershy had seen it.
  1854. >Meaning it wasn't just Discord playing some cruel prank by telling Celestia about this.
  1855. "That is from a monster called a wailing bones, a colony of insects that will gather bones to make something akin to golems. They carve runes into the bones with a precision that can't be matched. The issue here is that Anon not only has a pack of timberwolves, but a potentially functional wailing bones construct."
  1856. >Dash rubs the back of her head.
  1857. >"And what exactly would it do if it was functional?"
  1858. >You grimace.
  1859. "When a wailing bones attempts to acquire new bones, the colony has a varied arsenal. Just as varied as the wailing bones themselves. The only similarities between any two wailing bones construct is the skull, and something to produce a psychological attack. It's believed that this attack is used so bones can be cleanly removed from it's prey without breaking them."
  1860. >The table looks collectively perturbed, while Rainbow simply rubs her chin.
  1861. >"Okay yeah, I think he used that but only on accident."
  1862. >wat
  1863. "He used it?"
  1864. >"I'm pretty sure. I mean, I heard all of you screaming and then my parents told me I should just take a nap, since it's the only thing I was good at. I was starting to think the trash can was cursed and was going to tell you about it but I forgot."
  1865. >You feel your eye twitch.
  1866. >Applejack snorts angrily.
  1867. >"Ah don't see the issue. Shoot, just 'cause the colts a might odd, and is now armed and has a pack a wolves don't mean we have to treat him like this. What's he done? Nothin'! And he's on that list, same as all the others we squared off with, just 'cause he walked outta that there forest."
  1868. >Everytime.
  1869. "Applejack-"
  1870. >"Yeah, sorry egghead but I have to agree with AJ here, and I'm not just saying that cause it's nice that there's a colt that can keep up. Anon is all kinds of cool to hang out with. I can make uh, hm. Rarity what's that thing you call me all the time?"
  1871. >Rarity gives Rainbow a very unamused look.
  1872. >"Crass, darling?"
  1873. >"Yeah that first one! We make those jokes, drink a bit even if he seems to avoid the stronger stuff, and compete. I'm half tempted to join his herd, but then I'd have to fight for alpha status as a new mare and that's not cool."
  1874. >Rarity looks to you.
  1875. >"I simply don't see why he is on this list, Twilight. Is there nothing you can do? Ask the princess for a favor or...I suppose I really should know more about how these things work."
  1876. >You shake your head, blowing air through your nose.
  1877. "Nothing at all. Still though, even with his elevated status he can move freely and do as he pleases. It's simply a precaution in case he hurts anypony."
  1878. >Fluttershy decides to finally speak up.
  1879. >"He would never do that. We all know he can be a little silly, especially with his herd, but Anon is a very nice stallion. He helps me whenever he can with my animal friends and tells me stories from his world."
  1880. >And then there was the supposed alien part.
  1881. >You still don't know what to think about that.
  1882. >Rainbow turns to Fluttershy.
  1883. >"Do you think that he's really an alien, or is he just loopy from being in the forest? Some of those stories sound pretty crazy. Riding a tower of explosions to the moon sounds awesome!"
  1884. >Applejack hits Dash in the shoulder.
  1885. >"Ya can talk about that later. Twi, why are we keeping this from him again? Starlight's on that list for her town and some other stuff, while Trixie's there for some dark magic stuff related to that amulet. You told both'a them, why not tell him?"
  1886. >Rainbow slugs AJ before looking over to you.
  1887. >"Yeah, I hate all this cloak and dagger stuff...Can I get a cloak and dagger?"
  1888. >Rarity flicks both of them with her magic before starting.
  1889. >"This poor colt has been through Tartarus, quite possibly in a literal sense, and you want to tell him after he gets to safety that he isn't trusted? How well do you two think that would go?"
  1890. "Exactly thank you, Rarity. If we could have gotten him through the Everfree recovery ward of the asylum he probably wouldn't be on that list-"
  1891. >That was a lie.
  1892. "-but as it stands he has two, admittedly odd, mares who are staying with him everywhere he goes, and seem to be helping him return to society."
  1893. >If he was even in a society before you met him.
  1894. >Rainbow rubs the spot Rarity flicked her while AJ shakes her head.
  1895. >"Y'know I'm almost happy he's with those two, troublesome as they may be. Whenever he comes around I can't look him in the eye. I end up just talking to one'a his mares."
  1896. >Applejack locks her eyes with yours.
  1897. >"It ain't right, Twilight. He ain't done a thing and all this sneakin' around and lyin' is eatin' me up."
  1898. >You weren't doing any better.
  1899. >You nod and turn to Pinkie, who was wearing a mustache Fluttershy had returned to her.
  1900. "Pinkie, you've been quiet this whole time. Do you have anything to add?"
  1901. >Pinkie gives you a small, warm smile.
  1902. >"I'm just happy to see him smiling, Twilight."
  1903. >...
  1904. >You bow your head before looking around the table.
  1905. "If nopony has anything else to add, I think we'll call it a night."
  1906. >The girls collectively move away from their seats as you head toward the balcony.
  1907. >You didn't need to be told it was wrong.
  1908. >You were the one that made the call to keep it from him, after all.
  1909. >And for your trouble you had been losing sleep.
  1910. >You had always had a caffeine craving, but now it was more of a need.
  1911. >Anon was great with coffee.
  1912. >Spike knew how you liked it, but Anon had some tricks of his own.
  1913. >You think back to Saturday morning and how, as usual, Anon had pulled you out of that door.
  1914. >It was a regular morning for you now and you weren't fond of it.
  1915. >Making him help you when he was on a list of potential threats to Equestria.
  1916. >And then he called you a 'paragon of justice'.
  1917. >It may have been a joke, but you had come close to breaking then and there.
  1918. >As you break out into the balcony for some fresh air you hear music.
  1919. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mxpb3nDJW78
  1920. >You look over the edge of the balcony to see the maybe-alien playing a timberwolf like a guitar to his herd.
  1921. >...
  1922. >You wish you could put that in your top five of weirdest things you've seen, but nope.
  1923. >Can't even put it in the top ten.
  1924. >You lean up on the balcony and listen to the song.
  1925. >Maybe Pinkie's right.
  1926. >That smile does make for a good silver lining.
  1927. ----------
  1928. >You are Starlight Glimmer again.
  1929. >This is going to be some kind of cycle thingy, isn't it?
  1930. >That's not too bad since unicorns are most attuned to the Cycle.
  1931. >You are sitting behind your desk, reading stuff and being bored.
  1932. >Anon said he'd be here with lunch and cookies, and it's about that time.
  1933. >No Anon, though.
  1934. >What you did have was Bob, Bo, and a list of important commands them.
  1935. >Anon had then somehow taught them to listen to you, then tossed them at you.
  1936. >In Bobs case literally, with Bo happily following.
  1937. >They had gotten bored after a couple of minutes of doing nothing, so you made a wisp dance on the wall.
  1938. >You were kind of regretting it, as they were not gentle on the wall and had very sharp claws.
  1939. >At least they weren't threatening to go through the wall any time soon.
  1940. >Unless they made Bobbo.
  1941. >Currently, they were a bit bigger than an average pony, but throwing all that wood together could make something quite imposing.
  1942. >Especially for Big Jim.
  1943. >You wonder what it's like for them to merge like that.
  1944. >Ancient ponies would form archons in times of need by fusing the souls of two or more unicorns.
  1945. >The practice and study into such things was outlawed for various reasons now, but these aren't ponies.
  1946. >You wonder if-
  1947. >You're pulled from your thoughts by the door clicking open.
  1948. >Sweet Celestia!
  1949. >Does somepony actually need your help?
  1950. >"Hello Starlight, I was-"
  1951. >No, it's just Twilight.
  1952. >You pick your head up from your desk, having to work your horn a little to get it out of the groove in the desk.
  1953. >You call it the 'ditch of disapointment'.
  1954. >Burrow of boredom seems better, but whatever.
  1955. >Hollow of harrow?
  1956. >You should name your vagina.
  1957. >Lots of mares did.
  1958. >Trixie named hers after 'The Hays Theater'.
  1959. >Even Anon had a name for his penis.
  1960. >What did he call it?
  1961. >'The Dickinator'?
  1962. >You're the only one in this herd who hasn't named their genitals.
  1963. >Is that good or bad?
  1964. >What would you even call it?
  1965. >The 'Cult of Cunts'?
  1966. >...
  1967. >Why does your mind immediately go to 'cult'?
  1968. >Is this why Anon started bapping you?
  1969. >Oh, wait a second.
  1970. >Twilight's here.
  1971. >The princess is currently staring at the wolves while the two stare back, the wisp forgotten.
  1972. "Come here, Bob. Come on, Bo"
  1973. >The twins look to you before continuing their staring match with Twilight.
  1974. >A moment later both of them walk over to you, laying down on either side of you.
  1975. >Twilight takes a cautious step forward.
  1976. >"Are they-"
  1977. >You give a short nod.
  1978. "They're fine...I think. Whatever the case they seem to listen to Anon. Even the new one."
  1979. >Twilight perks up at that.
  1980. >"There's a new wolf in the pack?"
  1981. "Yeah, Anon calls him New Jim. Seems to listen to Anon like the others, even without him personally training him."
  1982. >She rubs her chin as she settles in a chair.
  1983. >"Hmm, I wonder if this is indicative of their intelligence, or is there more we're not-"
  1984. "You can probably ask him, Twilight."
  1985. >"I can't ask a timberwolf."
  1986. >You roll your eyes, shaking your head.
  1987. "Anon, you nerd. He's lived with them and said that he even taught them stuff."
  1988. >Twilight shifts in her seat.
  1989. >"Well, I mean, he's your stallion and-"
  1990. "Twilight, I am not so clingy that I won't let him talk to other mares. If that were the case, I'd have literally thrown Trixie out of town. No wait! I'd have made her want to shove her own head up her plot and flexible enough so she actually could! Then you could totally judge that book by its cover."
  1991. >Twilight does not look amused at your outstanding wit.
  1992. "You like book jokes, right?"
  1993. >"Usually, but you know you shouldn't joke about that kind of thing, especially outside of our ring of friends."
  1994. >You sigh.
  1995. "Yeah, I know...You know, I told him everything. I made sure he knew who and what I am, but he just said he didn't care. Same with Trixie. He said that we had to 'keep on, keeping on'."
  1996. >Twilight gives a warm smile.
  1997. >"That was a very nice song. Was it something he just sang or-"
  1998. "You heard that?"
  1999. >You wave a hoof before she can start panicking.
  2000. "It was something he sang. Everytime there's a harmony song he's just...gone. He'll reappear at the end, but I think he goes and hides for some reason."
  2001. >You take a good look at Twilight and realize you may have made a mistake.
  2002. >That slight shuffle of wings.
  2003. >The slow swivel of the ears.
  2004. >The far off look.
  2005. >She's entered science mode.
  2006. >You've taken note of these queues for when you should leave the room.
  2007. >You bang a hoof on the table, getting her attention.
  2008. "What are you planning?"
  2009. >"Wha-planning? No I was-"
  2010. "Don't you bucking give me those horseapples. You're planning on doing something to him, aren't you?"
  2011. >"I was just thinking that we never tested the Elements of Harmony-"
  2012. "You are not firing giant rainbow lasers at my coltfriend, you dyke!"
  2013. >Twilight starts to get defensive.
  2014. >"Okay one, you fired much bigger at him that could have seriously hurt him and two, the elements heal, not harm."
  2015. "Are you saying that just because I did it, it's okay?"
  2016. >"No I-"
  2017. "Bob! Bo!"
  2018. >You point your good hoof towards Twilight.
  2019. "Cuddles!"
  2020. >Both wolves are over the table and dogpiling Twilight in a matter of seconds.
  2021. >"Gah!"
  2022. >Anon's going to use dogpiling a lot, isn't he?
  2023. >Twilight struggles under the pile, trying to escape.
  2024. >"Starlight! Call them off!"
  2025. "No. You get to sit there and think about what you've done."
  2026. >"I didn't do anything!"
  2027. "I thought the same thing before starting a cult, brainwashing ponies, and altering the timeline."
  2028. >You can't currently see Twilight, but you can tell she is not happy with your reply.
  2029. >"I thought your stallion didn't let you talk about that, with how cockwhipped you are."
  2030. >You grin maliciously.
  2031. "At least I have one."
  2032. >Silence reigns in the enclosed office.
  2033. >Twilight has now stopped struggling against the wolf pile.
  2034. "That was mean, wasn't it?"
  2035. >"No, I shouldn't have...h-how's he doing?"
  2036. >You can barely hear the question with how low her voice is.
  2037. >Yeah, you did the bad thing.
  2038. >Twilight had very little interest from the opposite sex.
  2039. >What she did get was either creepy fans or gold diggers.
  2040. >And here you go rubbing her nose in it.
  2041. "He's been doing good. Learned that he's an alien, has a pack of timberwolves and had a pretty tough time in the Everfree."
  2042. >You wait for the inevitable freak out about the alien part, but all you get is silence.
  2043. "Twilight, did you hear me? He's an alien!"
  2044. >The point of a purple horn pops up over the pile.
  2045. >"I knew. We all did. Did he not tell you?"
  2046. "NO! He said he thought...He thought he told us because he told you girls."
  2047. >You put your horn in the grove of gripes and groan.
  2048. "Is there anything else I should-"
  2049. >CLICK
  2050. >Your head snaps up to the door where you see-
  2051. "Food!"
  2052. >Anon may be an idiot, but he's a lovable idiot with food.
  2053. >"Anon please get these two off of-oof!"
  2054. >The air is knocked out of Twilight as Dean launches himself into the cuddle pile.
  2055. >"The word you two are looking for is 'hello'."
  2056. >Hendrix heralds the group with a light tune.
  2057. >"Anon please help."
  2058. >Anon has to shift a bit so his glaive will fit through the door.
  2059. >Is he going to go everywhere with that creepy looking thing?
  2060. >Anon sets two boxes on your desk before going back to Twilight.
  2061. >"I'm sorry Twilight, but you have been blessed by the Dean of cuddles. This is your life now."
  2062. >Twilight struggles against the wolves before giving up again.
  2063. >"At least they're kind of smooth and...warm?"
  2064. >"The smoothness is my work. I carved and whittled wood when I could, trying to make better armor and sharper claws for these guys."
  2065. >Whatever Twilight was going to say was interrupted by pitiful groaning.
  2066. >You look to the door to see a larger wolf carrying Trixie on it's back.
  2067. >You can't help but smirk at Anon.
  2068. "Did she try to swallow a coconut again?"
  2069. >Trixie throws a hoof up.
  2070. >"Tha'ss only twice, an' fo' a trick."
  2071. >Anon gives you an apologetic look.
  2072. >"Remember how I said I was making cookies? She ate all of them."
  2073. >No.
  2074. >Not the cookies.
  2075. >They were innocent.
  2076. >Trixie does her best to point at you.
  2077. >"She threatened mah cookies. Is worth."
  2078. >You clear off your desk and gently set Trixie on it with your magic.
  2079. >A hand and a hoof rub her belly while you contemplate your revenge.
  2080. >You're upset about the cookies, but unlike Trixie you can play the long con.
  2081. >Sometimes.
  2082. >She will pay for her cookie crumbling.
  2083. >"So is there anything worth doing here today, or is it more nothing?"
  2084. >Your mane bounces as you shake your head.
  2085. "Nothing. Other than Bob and Bo doing that to the wall."
  2086. >"Oh sweet Celestia! How did I not notice that earlier?! These two did that? Anon we can't let your wolves go around-"
  2087. >Twilight is silenced by your magic repairing the wall.
  2088. >"...How did I forget I have magic? It's stamped on my flank."
  2089. >Speaking of the wolves.
  2090. >You nod towards the big one.
  2091. "How many are in that big one? It looks like just two. Are we missing a Jim?"
  2092. >Anon points to your bookshelf where, sure enough, Boyle was lounging.
  2093. "Huh. Is that normal for him?"
  2094. >"Yeah, he's the type that if I gave him a katana, he'd sit up there sharpening it while writing poetry about his pain. Anyways, since Trix ate the cookies, like the dirty skank that she is, I made you something special."
  2095. >You open the first box and are immediately pulled in by the smell.
  2096. >"We had some Granny Smith apples so I made you some apple dumplings."
  2097. >You pull your muzzle out of the box and take a look at the contents.
  2098. >Two tantalizing apple dumplings, baked to perfection and still warm, sat in front of you.
  2099. >You look to Anon, a small marely tear in your eye.
  2100. "Have I ever told you that I love you?"
  2101. >Anon shrugs.
  2102. >"I felt I should do something nice for your birthday."
  2103. >wat
  2104. "I-it's my birthday today?"
  2105. >Anon tilts his head to the side.
  2106. >"Did you really forget your birthday?"
  2107. "...You know what? After that weekend I'm not ashamed to admit I forgot. Although you were being way too nice this morning, I should've known something was up."
  2108. >Anon puts the arm that isn't rubbing Trixies belly on his hip as he scowls at you.
  2109. >"Well excuse me, ya little pink shit. I was just trying to be nice to the birthday girl and then you go and insult me."
  2110. "I am not pink! I'm lightish red."
  2111. >"Hehehe! Oh, I wish I had my shot-"
  2112. >"Please do not squeeze Trixie."
  2113. >You both look down to see that you had, in fact, been squeezing Trixie.
  2114. >Barely a glance is spared to each other before you both nod.
  2115. >The two of you stop rubbing and start to slowly add pressure.
  2116. >It's not long before Trixie notices the change.
  2117. >"Nng. No. Stop. Trixies belly hurts."
  2118. >Anon starts to lean on her belly.
  2119. >"You promised me that you would save Starlight some cookies, Trixie. Where are they now?"
  2120. >"Mmm. About to be on this desk if you two don't stop."
  2121. >Some say vengeance is a dish best served cold.
  2122. >A warm dumpling suits you just fine.
  2123. "You ate my cookie, Trixie. I may joke, but I always share what Anon makes for us."
  2124. >You apply a bit more force.
  2125. "Always."
  2126. >Trixie wiggles on your desk.
  2127. >"Hmm. Hrng."
  2128. >Anon leans in closer.
  2129. >"You can make it stop, Trixie. You know what you have to say."
  2130. >"No. Trixie will never say it."
  2131. >You don't even need to look at each other for the pressure to increase.
  2132. >"Hann no. Hrrm I won't-"
  2133. "You'll lose the cookies, Trixie."
  2134. >And like that, she broke.
  2135. >"I'm sorry! I'm sorry I ate all of the cookies!"
  2136. >The increasing pressure returns to belly rubbing instantly.
  2137. >"There you go. Was that so hard?"
  2138. >Trixie grumbles as you pull out a dumpling.
  2139. >Only for your horn to be swatted.
  2140. "Hey!"
  2141. >"What do you think you're doing? Just shoving it in your face like some kind of animal."
  2142. >Anons scowls for a moment before he starts giggling to himself.
  2143. >"You have to actually have lunch first and then you eat that with a fork like a person."
  2144. >Anon was far from the coltiest of stallions, but when it came to food he was nigh on obsessive.
  2145. >You sigh, looking longingly at the dumplings.
  2146. "But they're still warm, and if I eat something else they won't be as warm. You know food and the best way to eat a dessert is to eat it warm."
  2147. >Anon gives you a hard look before rubbing his chin.
  2148. >"Yeah, I guess you're right. You're still using a fork like a civilized person, though."
  2149. >You nod and start opening drawers.
  2150. "Okay let's see, we got paper, pencils, Pinkie-wait, Pinkie?!"
  2151. >Pinkie reaches upward and places a fork on your desk.
  2152. >"Your desk drawers aren't a very good place for forks, silly. They get all dirty in here. Like this gum on the underside of your desk. It's still chewy, but it's got no flavor."
  2153. >You bet Trixie left the gum there.
  2154. >"Oh, pointless story time! I left chewed gum all over the school to see if it soaks in flavor from the air, or something equally sciencey. So far I've just given Twilight an aneurysm or three."
  2155. >Well that-
  2156. >"I think this one is Trixies though."
  2157. >CELESTIA BUCKING DAMN IT!
  2158. >Anon leans over the desk.
  2159. >"Hey, Pinks. Getting ready for Starlights party?"
  2160. >"Of course, Nonners. You know I'd never miss a party!"
  2161. >You never understood how he was so casual about her...
  2162. >There really isn't a word for what she is.
  2163. >"And I'm guessing you're planning a party for when she gets that cast off today."
  2164. >Once again...
  2165. >wat
  2166. >"Pfft, haha, I have no idea what you're talking about Nonny. I wouldn't have a party just for a cast being removed."
  2167. >Anon gives Pinkie a dry stare.
  2168. >"I'm willing to bet you gave Twilight a party for every feather in her wings when she got them. And when all that was said and done, you had a counting party."
  2169. >Pinkie crosses her arms.
  2170. >"Well I'll have you know that the counting party was a flop. I thought bean counters would be great at a counting party, but noooooo. They just talked about the 'pointless expenses'."
  2171. >"..."
  2172. >"..."
  2173. >"So are we having a party for her getting her cast off?"
  2174. >"Hey, gotta go see you guys tonight!"
  2175. >Pinkie slinks into the drawer, slamming it after her.
  2176. >You look at Anon.
  2177. "Does that not bother you?"
  2178. >Anon simply shrugs.
  2179. >"I don't see why it would. You do magic and so does she."
  2180. "That's not-"
  2181. >You shake your head.
  2182. "Am I really getting my cast off today?"
  2183. >"Jeez Star, you are out of it. Yes, it's your birthday and you'll get to attend both parties cast free."
  2184. >"THERE'S ONLY ONE PARTY!"
  2185. >Pinkies yelling, through your desk, caused Boyle to fall off your bookshelf.
  2186. >This causes a chain reaction of wolves scrambling across your office and out the door.
  2187. >"Oh, uh be right back, Star."
  2188. >Anon goes chasing after his pack while you look across your office.
  2189. >In the middle of the disaster zone you notice a purple lump.
  2190. >You use your magic to lift Twilight up and see that she had fallen asleep at some point.
  2191. >Somehow the panicking wolves hadn't woken her.
  2192. >You shrug and set her down on top of Trixie, who was also sleeping, while pulling out a dumpling.
  2193. >Taking a bite out of it, you get an idea.
  2194. >You pick both of them up and manipulate them so they're cuddling each other.
  2195. >You pull a camera out of your desk that you kept for 'special moments'.
  2196. >Sure Trixie's in your herd, and that meant you shouldn't be doing this, but they're reaction was going to be priceless.
  2197. >Especially when they saw the pictures.
  2198. ----------
  2199. >You were right.
  2200. >When Twilight and Trixie woke up their reactions were spectacular.
  2201. >Right up until the hooves started flying.
  2202. >It wasn't intentional, they weren't really paying attention.
  2203. >But they came out mostly okay.
  2204. >There was an ice machine down the hall for their black eyes.
  2205. >At least they both only had one, right?
  2206. >But you got off much worse.
  2207. >You got in trouble with Anon.
  2208. >You hate when he gives you his disappointed look.
  2209. >You got that enough from your moms.
  2210. >How does an alien stallion do the 'I'm disappointed in you' look just as good as those mares?!
  2211. >They would do it simultaneously too.
  2212. >At least he doesn't know about the pictures.
  2213. >Currently he was sitting with most of his wolves, Trixies head in his lap.
  2214. >He'd occasionally give her a sip of water since she had gone and gorged herself on party food, despite still being full of cookies.
  2215. >You look back to the party banner and the mess scribbled across it.
  2216. >'Happy Birth-and getting your cast off-day!'
  2217. >Under that there was a crude drawing of a timberwolf with more text saying 'Also say hi to these guys! They're nice!'
  2218. >And yes, your cast was off.
  2219. >As soon as this party was over you were going to gallop and teleport around town.
  2220. >You had received a sizable pile of gifts which were currently piled behind Anon.
  2221. >Maud had stared at a rock until it split in half, revealing it to be a geode.
  2222. >Trixie provided her usual gift of a picture of herself, but with a twist.
  2223. >This time it was a picture of all three of you.
  2224. >Admittedly, her flank was blocking your face, but it was nicer than the usual gift.
  2225. >As you head back towards Anon you start counting Jims.
  2226. >Dean was in the middle of the party playing tug-o-war with Fluttershy.
  2227. >You're really more surprised that she's doing that in the middle of the party, with some mares making bets on the winner.
  2228. >She thought it would be a good way to get ponies used to them though, so she stepped up.
  2229. >That should leave six by Anon, but you're seeing four, although one is clearly Bobbo.
  2230. >Scanning the nearby rooftops, you don't see any sign of Boyle.
  2231. >You really hope there isn't a missing Jim running around.
  2232. >Looking back to Anon you see that most seem relaxed while New Jim seems especially tense, with Anon and Henson keeping an eye on him.
  2233. >Guess you can't blame him.
  2234. >How many partys has he been to?
  2235. >Anon looks up as you get close.
  2236. >"Hey, Glims. How's the party?"
  2237. "It's doing pretty good. Hey, I don't mean to repeat myself, but where's Boyle?"
  2238. >Anon breaks a small piece of cupcake off before tossing it at a bush.
  2239. >As it zips past a wooden wolf head snaps out, chewing on the morsel for a moment before merging with the rest of the bush.
  2240. "So that whole bush is him?"
  2241. >Anon nods.
  2242. >"Told you that they make for a good ambush. I even trained them to line up along a trail like that and explode, hitting a target with wooden shrapnel. By the time they realize what's going on they're mulch."
  2243. >You give Anon what you hope is your best concerned look.
  2244. "That's all kinds of bucked up."
  2245. >"Pfft! You should see the feeder-breeders."
  2246. >Feeder-breeder?
  2247. >Logic dictates you don't ask, but the only dictating you adhere to is dictatoring.
  2248. >...
  2249. >That was multiple tiers of stupid.
  2250. >You shake your head.
  2251. "Are you okay sitting in the corner like this?"
  2252. >Anon gives a short nod.
  2253. >"New guys a bit twitchy, so we're keeping an eye on him."
  2254. >Trixie does her best to lift a hoof.
  2255. >"I shall have my vengeance. Your day of reckoning shall-I don't feel good enough for the act. Just pretend I said something intimidating."
  2256. >You chuckle as Anon rubs Trixies belly.
  2257. >"You ate all the cookies, Trixie. You deserved the squeezing. Although I will admit Star is a dirty ho."
  2258. "Hey! It's my birthday, you have to be nice!"
  2259. >Anon laughs as Trixie whines about you being too loud.
  2260. >It only gets louder as Pinkie powerslides in front of you, playing a guitar.
  2261. >"I told you there'd only be one party!"
  2262. >Anon finishes chewing a bit of cupcake before speaking.
  2263. >"Yep."
  2264. >"I always had the single party planned. You didn't trick me into merging three different partys, no ma'am."
  2265. >"Uh-huh."
  2266. >Pinkie strums the guitar before marching towards Hendrix.
  2267. >"Did you try and get in my head and make me make a single party? Because I'd prefer if you got in the pants I'm not wearing."
  2268. >Hey now!
  2269. >"I don't use them much and I think they're more your size."
  2270. >Oh
  2271. >Anon laughs and points to the guitar.
  2272. >"What're you doing there, Pinks?"
  2273. >"Simple, a new challenger has appeared and I need to test his mettle."
  2274. >Pinkie starts playing to the wolf who is immediately intrigued.
  2275. >A moment later Hendrix starts playing back.
  2276. >"Good luck, Panko Parmesan. You'll need it."
  2277. >Pinkie doesn't even acknowledge Anon as she and Hendrix pick up speed.
  2278. >Without looking over, you speak to Anon.
  2279. "That apple thing was really good. Did your dad teach you to cook like that?"
  2280. >"Nah, I was actually a terrible cook at home. The only thing I could make was meat or ramen. Or biscuits. It wasn't until I met Pinkie that I actually learned how to cook."
  2281. >Your ears give a small flick.
  2282. "Pinkie taught you?"
  2283. >"Mostly Pinkie. When Twilight found out I couldn't cook she tried to teach me a bit. Said she learned a bit From Princess Celestia and that she should pass that knowledge on. As it turns out, the princess of the sun knows pancakes, cake, and not much else."
  2284. >This sounds like a load of horseapples.
  2285. "I don't believe that for a second. You go most of your life without cooking, and then you end up as some four star chef because of Pinkie?"
  2286. >Anon puts a hand to his heart as if wounded.
  2287. >"You won't even give your boyfriend five stars in his cooking?"
  2288. "You use too much garlic and you know it."
  2289. >"Well I'm sorry the little pink-"
  2290. "I'm not pink!"
  2291. >Trixie groans in Anons lap.
  2292. >"You are now Tuftlet Pinkler."
  2293. >Before you can pop a blood vessel, somepony clears their throat behind you.
  2294. >Turning around you see Cheerilee with a small smile.
  2295. >"Hello there! I was wondering if I could talk to the three of you for a moment."
  2296. >Before you respond you look back to the two musicians.
  2297. >At this point, the music is getting a little hard to ignore between Pinkie and Hendrix.
  2298. >The two were panting as they played.
  2299. >You turn back to Cheerilee and try to ignore the imminent disaster.
  2300. "Sure thing. What do you need, Cheerilee?"
  2301. >She looks over to Anon before continuing.
  2302. >"I was actually hoping you would agree to help with something, Anonymous."
  2303. >Trixie wriggles fully into Anons lap before speaking.
  2304. >"If you want a stallion for the night, I hear Caramel's open. In more ways than one."
  2305. >"Wha-NO! No I...That was a joke wasn't it?"
  2306. >As the two snicker to themselves you roll your eyes.
  2307. "It was a joke, but also accurate. If you want a cheap bang Caramel's your go-to colt."
  2308. >Cheerilee puts a hoof to her tuft as she collects herself.
  2309. >"Well I would-"
  2310. >"He also likes it if you shove stuff up his butt."
  2311. >"Pfft, like you would know, Trix."
  2312. >"You were not Trixies first. She-glp-is going to be quiet now."
  2313. >"...With the arrival of your wooden friends, many of the foals have taken an interest in the forest. I couldn't keep the class on track at all today. Some of the little fillies even talked about going into the woods and taming monsters themselves. I thought, since you were there for some time, you could come and tell them what it's like, and that they shouldn't do anything so brash."
  2314. >"Is tomorrow good?"
  2315. >Your head swings back to Anon who was gently stroking Trixie, his face unreadable.
  2316. >"Oh, well I had plans for class tomorrow, but if you can do it that soon, all the better to keep them safe. Although, can you try and keep things foal friendly?"
  2317. >Anon looks over to New Jim before talking.
  2318. >"I will certainly try. At the very least no swearing. In fact Trixie and I can put on a show."
  2319. >Anon pulls her a bit tighter, scratching under her chin.
  2320. >"Mmm, Trixie does not do shows for foals."
  2321. >"What if I payed you in belly rubs."
  2322. >"Okay."
  2323. >Cheerilee looks cautiously optimistic as Anon proceeds with Trixies payment.
  2324. >"So you'll be at the school tomorrow? Can you come just after lunch? That's when we usually have recess."
  2325. >Anon nods.
  2326. >"Yep, we'll put on a show and show them why they need to stay out of the forest."
  2327. "Hey what about me and Trixie. You'd always drag us in there for meat."
  2328. >Anon wiggles Trixie around so they're both more comfortable.
  2329. >"That's because I knew what I was doing and you two wouldn't let me go by myself. If these kids start running too deep into the forest without a guide, they'll die."
  2330. >You do not like the way he said that.
  2331. >It was very...factual.
  2332. >Cheerilee clears her throat again.
  2333. >"Well, hopefully we can dissuade the little ones from being too reckless, without teaching them new words or causing too much work for Princess Luna."
  2334. >Anon gives a short nod.
  2335. >"I'll try to keep it pleasant for them, but scared is better than dead."
  2336. >"Right. Well, tomorrow after lunch and please keep it reasonable."
  2337. >"We'll be there."
  2338. >Cheerilee starts to walk away as-
  2339. >Is that seriously her?
  2340. >"Starlight, you puffy ponut playpen! How are they hanging?"
  2341. "Sunset! Good to see you made it, you yellow yowling yokel."
  2342. >You laugh to each other as she and Twilight trot forward.
  2343. >Twilight shakes her head.
  2344. >"I just don't understand how you two can greet a friend like that."
  2345. >Sunset bumps her flank against Twilights.
  2346. >"It's because we're friends, Twilight. Friends don't lick each others clits all the time."
  2347. >Twilight readjusts her ice pack before setting her one good eye on Trixie, who gains some composure and speaks up.
  2348. >"Hello, Twilight. I would like to apologize for hitting you earlier. It was a mistake due to my circumstances and I am truely sorry."
  2349. >Did Trixie just say she was sorry to Twilight?
  2350. >It takes a moment before you see a glimmer in Twilights eye.
  2351. >"I would like to apologize as well, Trixie. I was in a similar situation and acted just as you did. We both made a mistake and I hope we can be mature about this moving forward."
  2352. >Did Twilight just apologize to Trixie?!
  2353. >What fresh Tartarus is this?!
  2354. >Looking around, you see three ponies and one human smirking.
  2355. >"Trixie, I would like to make this up to you."
  2356. >"And I would like to make this up to you as well, Twilight."
  2357. >It was supposed to be a prank.
  2358. >A joke!
  2359. >It wasn't supposed to make you suffer.
  2360. >Now these two are going to team up to get you back.
  2361. >Sunsets grin is about ready to split her head open.
  2362. >"Look at you, Glimmy. Fixing friendship problems like the dyke you are."
  2363. "Hey, you fix friendship problems too!"
  2364. >"Yeah, but us mares all have to be at least a little gay. Speaking of, you're in a herd now! With somebody that might be from across the portal."
  2365. >You open your mouth to say something, only for it to snap shut on its own.
  2366. >You could count on your hooves everypony that had been to another world full of beings like Anon.
  2367. >You were one of them.
  2368. >Not once in your time knowing him, or dating him, did you consider he might be from that world.
  2369. >Good job, Glimmy.
  2370. >Let's just put a big gold star of stupidity on that horn of yours.
  2371. >You put your face into your hooves and groan.
  2372. >"Star? What's wrong?"
  2373. "Oh, just realizing exactly how dumb I am, Anon."
  2374. >"Okay, so long as you're aware."
  2375. >You're too mad at yourself to be mad at him right now.
  2376. >Sunset trots over to Anon, looking him up and down.
  2377. >"Hm, I don't think you're from the other side. You're way too bulky, the eyes are too small, and even as a pony I want to say that you're too big."
  2378. >"And your snootle is short. Just to be clear, we're talking about that mirror I bounced off of awhile ago, right?"
  2379. >Sunset is too busy scrunching at the insult, so Twilight speaks up.
  2380. >"Yes, it's a world matching this one in many ways, but the natives are very much like you."
  2381. >"Huh, so that's why you kept making me headbutt that thing."
  2382. >Twilight blushes as she paws at the ground.
  2383. >"Yeah, I'm sorry about that, but I just thought it might have been your home so..."
  2384. >Sunset swings a leg over Twilights withers.
  2385. >"Could have told me you were having problems on this side. Me and the girls waited at least three hours in front of the school."
  2386. >"The girls and I."
  2387. >"What?"
  2388. >"You meant the girls and I when you said me and the girls."
  2389. >"...I'd shove a stick up you flank if there wasn't a bundle up there already."
  2390. >Twilight snorts.
  2391. >"Don't be mean."
  2392. >"I'm not being mean, it's called banter. Come on, pull one of those sticks out and smack me with it."
  2393. "Yeah, Twilight. Join us in the banter fun. The only sticks around here should be part of a mare-eating monster named Jim."
  2394. >Twilight rolls her eyes and steps towards Anon.
  2395. >"On that note."
  2396. >She pulls out a small box and opens its contents to Anon.
  2397. >What he pulls out is a large green gem carved into the shape of a question mark, much like the one on his shoulder pad.
  2398. >He reaches into the box and pulls out another before giving Twilight a questioning look.
  2399. >"Since we're going to have a pack of wolves running around, I thought it would be a good idea to let ponies know they're yours. So if you can attach these somehow, we'll let ponies know they're okay."
  2400. >A low whistle rings out as Anon calls for his pack.
  2401. >Immediately six wolves gather from various positions, which was good for Hendrix who looked very close to bursting into flame.
  2402. >Kind of like Pinkies guitar right now.
  2403. >Twilight puts out Pinkies flames while she runs off as Anon tries to get the attention of New Jim.
  2404. >It takes him a moment, but he eventually marches over.
  2405. >He does not look happy.
  2406. >"Uh, is that one-"
  2407. >Anon waves Sunset off as he presses one of the gems into Hensons forehead.
  2408. >His eyes go dark for a moment before flashing brighter with the gem in place, the green light of his eyes shining through the gem.
  2409. >The dot of the question mark was centered between his eyes, the curve sliding across the top of his head.
  2410. >Anon starts repeating this with the others as he talks.
  2411. >"He's fine. Just doesn't trust me like the others. I'll deal with him soon."
  2412. >"And how exactly do you 'deal' with a timberwolf?"
  2413. >"Sometimes you beat the shit out of it to show it you're the boss, but in the end I take it on a hunt to see if it gets to stay."
  2414. >Both you and Twilight snap up at that.
  2415. "Wait, you're going hunting again? I thought you said you wouldn't hunt anymore after I broke my leg."
  2416. >"Yeah, well you see, I have to break him in. And I would prefer if you two stayed here."
  2417. >Anon gives you a pleading look as Dean nuzzles into the gem in his hand.
  2418. >"It won't be too soon, but we do need to do this. I know you two worry about me, but with my glaive and my Jims there's very little we can't put down."
  2419. >You don't like this.
  2420. >Not one bit.
  2421. "Do you promise you won't go for anything too dangerous?"
  2422. >Anon nods.
  2423. >"It'll be something simple. Something to earn New Jim a name."
  2424. "And you trust-hey!"
  2425. >A cupcake wrapper bounces off your horn, interrupting you.
  2426. >"Yes. I trust them with my life. That's part of why we're testing New Jim, to see if he's trustworthy."
  2427. >Anon reaches out with the last gem for New Jim, only for the wolf to snap at Anon with wooden teeth.
  2428. >CRACK
  2429. >The blunt end of the glaive snaps Jims head back, sending him to the ground.
  2430. >When did he even pull that out?
  2431. >Your horn lights up in case New Jim tries to do anything else.
  2432. >In the corner of your eye you can see Twilight doing the same while Trixie fell asleep at some point.
  2433. >"See what I mean? The others are okay because they trust I'll get them through. He doesn't quite get that yet. Until he does, he's going to be like Rarity when you tell her you want something that doesn't fit into her 'vision'. I was hopeful at first because he seemed a little squeamish around me, but I guess he was just getting a feel for things. Ugh, I hate this Game of Thrones shit...Is there a Jim in that show?"
  2434. >You like this even less now.
  2435. >Anon picks the sleeping Trixie up and sets her on the table in front of him.
  2436. >He grabs his weapon and the gem and walks over to Jim, offering both.
  2437. >Jim looks between the offered items for a moment before offering his head towards the gem.
  2438. >With a twist, the glaives blade is buried in the dirt.
  2439. >Anon kneels, grabbing the wolfs muzzle with one hand as he presses the gem into the mass of wood with the other.
  2440. >As he steps back you can see it is just like the others, with the dot in between the eyes.
  2441. >"Yeah he should be good. Huh, If I had a computer I could call these guys for tech support."
  2442. >You release the magic you had been gathering in your horn and-
  2443. >THUD
  2444. >A box of fishing tackle lands heavily on the table next to Trixie, not so much as phasing her.
  2445. >"Do any of you know how long I've been waiting for any of you to say my name? I was waiting for a 'speak of the daemon' moment, but clearly no one cares for poor little me."
  2446. >Sunset leans over to Twilight.
  2447. >"Who is this?"
  2448. >"Discord."
  2449. >"Ah."
  2450. >Discord throws his mismatched paws up in exasperation.
  2451. >"That's all I get? 'Ah'? No panic, or cheers, or laughter just 'ah'?"
  2452. "Um. Is something wrong or..."
  2453. >"NO! Nothing is wrong at all! Just my father telling me how horrible I am at my job!"
  2454. >Discord pulls out the fishing pole you saw when you washed the wolves.
  2455. >"You see this? Not so much as a nibble. When I got home Tzeentch was all 'this is why you're only a LORD of chaos'. Oh, I just want to see people angry, is that so bad?"
  2456. >"Yes!"
  2457. >Sunset puts a calming hoof on Twilight.
  2458. >"Only a little bit."
  2459. "I'm okay with it so long as I'm not affected."
  2460. >"Starlight!"
  2461. >Discord sniffles.
  2462. >"Oh, you are all such great friends. Except you, Twilight. I'm changing your title to the princess of oversized flanks."
  2463. >"Wha-It's not-"
  2464. >"If you're anything like the other Twilight, you could probably stand to lay off the burgers."
  2465. >Twilight glares at Sunset.
  2466. >"...I'm going to turn you into an orange and see what comes out the other side of the portal."
  2467. >"Hey, that's the banter spirit!"
  2468. >Discord kicks at the ground, thinking to himself.
  2469. >"I just wish there was a way to-"
  2470. >Discord stops, looking between you and Sunset.
  2471. >"Pardon me."
  2472. >POP
  2473. >Discord is gone in a flash of light, only for a pit of dread to start growing in your stomach.
  2474. >A lord of chaos has set his sights on you and you're not interested in finding out why.
  2475. >This will end in tears, laughter, or pain.
  2476. >A small bubble goes up around you, hopefully preventing the worst of what he's planning.
  2477. >You look over to Twilight, who is pulling Sunset back in a similar shield.
  2478. "Please don't let him do whatever he's planning."
  2479. >Twilight readjusts her ice pack with a smirk.
  2480. >"Sorry Starlight, but Sunset has to get home tonight. I'll take care of her while you take care of yourself."
  2481. >It was a prank!
  2482. >You look to your herd, hoping for some support.
  2483. >Trixie is asleep on the table while Anon is staring off into space.
  2484. "Anon! You can kind of resist Discord. Please help me!"
  2485. >Anon continues to stare off into space.
  2486. >"Is Tzeentch actually Discords father?"
  2487. >"Oh, absolutely!"
  2488. "Gwah!"
  2489. >Discord's in the bubble.
  2490. >And he has a bucket!
  2491. >"Daddy dearest fought quite hard for his little psyker haven here and gave me a role safeguarding it. The other three have their spots here, as well, but none as ingrained as him. Well, maybe Slaanesh."
  2492. >Pinkies party cannon goes off in the distance.
  2493. >"But nevermind that, Starlight hold this."
  2494. >And with that Discord dumps a seizure inducing rainbow on your head.
  2495. >"Oh, by the way. Everything I just said, I said to distract you."
  2496. >"Starlight!"
  2497. "Oh, wait until Discord does something and then help me! That's great Anon, just...Are you shorter?"
  2498. >Anon stares at you, eyes wide and disbelieving.
  2499. >"Uhhh."
  2500. >"Yeah, I think he's a bit taller than Principal Celestia too."
  2501. >Principal?
  2502. >You look over to Sunset then down to see-
  2503. "Nnnnooooooo."
  2504. >Discord must have taken some of the magic from the portal to turn you into a human.
  2505. >"So that about wraps up my time here. Maybe this will start something of interest...somewhere. The portal should still work, Sunset."
  2506. >POP
  2507. >Okay, Discord is gone-
  2508. >POP
  2509. >Nevermind.
  2510. >Great.
  2511. >"Oh, uh must have-"
  2512. >We need to talk.
  2513. >Your hands-yes hands-snap up to your head.
  2514. "Discord, why is there a voice in my head?"
  2515. >Sorry Starlight, give me a second.
  2516. >You reach up to your now much smaller ear and pull out the Point-of-View-inator.
  2517. >wat
  2518. >You proceed to throw it at Discord.
  2519. _-_-_-_-_-_
  2520. >You are now Discord yadda yadda yadda.
  2521. "Yadda yadda yadda? I am-"
  2522. >About to be fired.
  2523. >Freeze them.
  2524. >With a snap of your claws, most of the mortals are locked in place.
  2525. >Anon, however, moves to retrieve his weapon.
  2526. >"Discord you know I don't mind a joke, but you-"
  2527. >Anonymous, realizing he can only do so much against Discord, moves to check on Starlight.
  2528. >"What the hell is with that get up? I never understood torn pants, and if that's something her mind chose I am going to bap the everloving shit out of her."
  2529. >You chuckle.
  2530. "Still-"
  2531. >What the fuck are you doing?
  2532. >You put your paws behind your back because you did nothing wrong.
  2533. "Listen, I have some ideas of where we could take this story. We could turn it into a CYOA based on-"
  2534. >NO!
  2535. "Oh, come now! It's not like you know what you're doing any more than I do. I was thinking next time I could turn Trixie into a satyr."
  2536. >"Also, holy shit her eyes are massive! I guess it's not that different since they're about that size as a pony, but she sure as shit ain't human."
  2537. >Your wallet appears next to you.
  2538. "What are you doing."
  2539. >A wall starts to emerge from the wallet.
  2540. >Removing your fourth wall privileges.
  2541. >You leap for the top of the wall while wrapping your tail around the wallet.
  2542. "You can't do that! This story-"
  2543. >Would probably improve without you.
  2544. "That's not true!"
  2545. >I'm just about to rewrite this story so I can get rid of you.
  2546. >Actually, I could kill you off!
  2547. >Now that would be funny.
  2548. >You continues to stretch as the wall continues to emerge from your wallet.
  2549. "You can't do that! It's too much fun here and I-"
  2550. >You have three options.
  2551. >You and the wall finally stop moving.
  2552. >One is that you're outright fired.
  2553. >Two is that you give me the wall and stay.
  2554. >Your eyes narrow as you listen to the deal being offered.
  2555. >Three is that you keep the wall and stay, but I pay you in money instead of tendies.
  2556. >You let go of the wall and it quickly slips into the ether.
  2557. "There. Take it. See how well you do without my humor."
  2558. >"I guess I see what Sunset meant by bulky. She does look kind of like a a scraggly ethiopian, but that head is not to scale with the rest of her."
  2559. >Fourth wall humor is only good in small doses.
  2560. >You'll still show up every now and then, you're just not allowed to break the fourth wall.
  2561. >You snort.
  2562. "You mean like this entire scene?"
  2563. >I didn't want to do it, but you were being you.
  2564. "How rude!"
  2565. >Sorry about that, folks.
  2566. >"Those are nearly D-cups, though...this could work."
  2567. >You pull the Point-of-View-inator out of your ear, snap, and throw it at Starlight.
  2568. _-_-_-_-_-_
  2569. >You are, once again, Starlight Glimmer.
  2570. >POP
  2571. >Thankfully Discord's gone, but you're not right anymore.
  2572. >You're shaking a bit as Anon holds you tightly against his chest.
  2573. >Fatherbucker, even when you're a similar species to him you only come up to about the middle of his chest.
  2574. >You reach up with and feel your mane-no hair.
  2575. >It's called hair when you're like this.
  2576. >The hand moves around your forehead.
  2577. >Which is completely smooth and hornless.
  2578. >You can't stop the growl before it leaves you.
  2579. >You feel your heart beating inside of you.
  2580. >A hand running down your back gives you shivers, just like it always does.
  2581. >"You okay, Glims?"
  2582. >You give a shaky nod into Anons chest.
  2583. "Would you believe me if I said I was more mad than anything else right now?"
  2584. >The rumble of the wall you're pressed against is familiar and calming as Anon chuckles.
  2585. >"I'd be worried if you said anything else."
  2586. "When this wears off I'm going to kill him."
  2587. >"I'll do the stabby stuff while you tear out his soul or whatever. Trixie can be the fall girl."
  2588. >A small sniffling sound distracts you.
  2589. >You're barely able to look at Sunset through Anons vice grip as she wipes a tear away.
  2590. >"Such a cute pair. I can only imagine what you're like when Trixie's awake."
  2591. >Looking over to the mare in question, you sigh.
  2592. "Anon, I think I'm ready to go home. I have work-"
  2593. >"About that."
  2594. >You wriggle again to look at an apologetic Twilight.
  2595. >"We've had to institute some policies due to Discord. Until you're-um-better you're on leave. Sorry Starlight."
  2596. >Hold on.
  2597. "So does this mean I'm on vacation until this wears off?"
  2598. >"Well, paid leave is more accurate-"
  2599. "Change of plans, Anon. Next time we see Discord we're buying him some cider. Now let's grab Trixie and my stuff, I want to try some things with this body that I didn't get to last time. Sorry to leave so quickly Sunset, but I'm going to go get some dick real quick."
  2600. >Sunset laughs as Twilight squawks and starts rambling about responsibility and respecting stallions.
  2601. >As Anon starts loading down his wolves with your gifts, you start flexing fingers.
  2602. >Maybe this won't be so bad.
  2603. >...
  2604. >Nah, it's going to suck, but at least now you can drink during weekdays.
  2605. ----------
  2606. NSFW Oneshot
  2607. 6W8ueLJ8
  2608. ----------
  2609. >You are the Tired and Still Kind of Sleeping Trixie.
  2610. >And you don't want to get up.
  2611. >You had a good day of food yesterday, and you feel very content.
  2612. >Especially with Anon currently rubbing your belly AND tuft.
  2613. >You almost regretted herding with him before anypony else.
  2614. >If anypony else knew what hands were like, they would surely be jealous to know that you got the best rubdowns in town.
  2615. >A hand moves upward and-
  2616. "Mmnh"
  2617. >Ear scritches.
  2618. >Such a wonderful thing.
  2619. >A light giggling tries to rouse you.
  2620. >"I wonder if this is why he treats us like this? It's so cute to see you squirm around like this."
  2621. >No, bad Starlight!
  2622. >This is Trixie snuggle time.
  2623. >Starlight got all the snuggles with her broken leg.
  2624. >You may have wanted him to carry you around like a foal, just like he did with Starlight, but he had to support your herdsister.
  2625. >You had to simply sit by and mare up.
  2626. >Anon was nice though, making sure to give you attention once you got home.
  2627. >He cared so much for the two of you.
  2628. >He almost refused to leave Starlights side when she broke her leg.
  2629. >Should he have carried her, or should you have offered to take the position?
  2630. >Whatever the case, it was good to get her out of that rickety wheelchair.
  2631. >Ponies made fun of you for not liking wheels, but there's a good reason why you avoided them.
  2632. >The other hand moves down to-
  2633. "Nnnyyooooo"
  2634. >"Hehe, talk about twisting your teats."
  2635. >Why are they being mean?
  2636. >They shouldn't be mean.
  2637. >You're still trying to sleep.
  2638. >You wriggle a bit, trying to nestle into the warm wall behind you.
  2639. >"Aw, aren't you just the cutest little thing?"
  2640. >No.
  2641. >You are marely and tough and kind of want breakfast.
  2642. >The second hand starts sliding along your inner thigh while the first dances through your mane.
  2643. >"You know-"
  2644. >The hand, which seems to small for Anon, moves to your cutie mark.
  2645. >"Anon and I had some birthday fun, but you passed out early."
  2646. >That's too bad.
  2647. >You wanted to join in for Starlights birthday fun.
  2648. >The second hand moves to the back end of your flank, giving it a light squeeze while the first works into your mane and pulls.
  2649. "Hah"
  2650. >"So how about you give your alpha-"
  2651. >Your head snaps up off the pillow.
  2652. "I am the alpha!"
  2653. >You start wriggling around, looking for the snickering Starlight.
  2654. >"I thought that would get you up. Now let's-"
  2655. >You start to shift against Anon, still looking for the mare.
  2656. "I am the alpha and...Who in Celestias name are you?"
  2657. >The warm mass with hands you were sleeping against was not Anon.
  2658. >It was not Anon at all.
  2659. >The pink abomination smirks at you.
  2660. >"What's wrong, Trixie? Don't recognize your own herd sister?"
  2661. "I have one herd sister and her name is Starlight Glimmer."
  2662. >"Very good! You know my name. I'd offer you a cookie, but you put yourself into a small food coma yesterday because of them."
  2663. >You are instantly offended.
  2664. "I ate those cookies because Anon made them, and he loves me, and they were delicious! Now why are you so hideous?!"
  2665. >Starlight sits up, and a little part of you can't help but feel upset as those hands move from you to her hips.
  2666. >"Well buck you too, you blue-beaning butt plug! And if you must know, I'm like this because of Discord."
  2667. "Ah."
  2668. >That makes sense.
  2669. >POP
  2670. >"Again?! Just 'ah'?! Am I getting predictable?! Boring?! Tell me what's wrong, baby! I'll fix it, I swear!"
  2671. >You chuck a pillow at Discord, which he doesn't even bother to dodge.
  2672. "Discord, this is our room, get out."
  2673. >"Oh, but before you go I wanted to thank you. Anon and I had a lot of fun because of your prank."
  2674. >Discords jaw works for a moment as he stares at Starlight.
  2675. >Finally, he lets out a frustrated scream, thrashing in the air for a moment before vanishing in a flash of light.
  2676. >You snort as Starlight giggles before you both look back to eachother.
  2677. >She kind of looks like Anon, but smaller and with her same coat color.
  2678. >Looking her up and down you notice-
  2679. "Ha! Hahahahaha!"
  2680. >Starlight crosses her arms.
  2681. >"What's so funny?"
  2682. >You take a moment to catch your breath before giving a haughty smirk.
  2683. "I can't quite call you a tuftlet anymore since you have NO TUFT AT ALL! Bahaha! Now you're TuftLESS Pinkler!"
  2684. >You roll back on the bed, laughing at your herd sister.
  2685. "O-oh, don't worry, Starlight! We'll keep you around for entertainment if nothing else!"
  2686. >Your laughing fit is interrupted by a pair of fingers.
  2687. "Nnnnyew-sorry, sorry please stop twisting!"
  2688. >Your eyes are screwed shut, but you can feel her gaze boring into your soul.
  2689. >The tension eases up, but she keeps her hold.
  2690. >"How many times have we done this? I feel like you should have learned by now."
  2691. >You huff.
  2692. "You're supposed to say no homo when Anon's not here so that-ow, ow, OW-AUNTIE! There, happy?!"
  2693. >The lecherous wizard lets go of your teat and starts to massage it with the offending hand.
  2694. >"We're in a herd, Trix. So long as the teats don't touch, nothing about this is gay."
  2695. >You grumble but don't say anything since she's right.
  2696. >Not that you're complaining.
  2697. >She has fantastic tongue skills.
  2698. >No homo.
  2699. "Where's Anonymous? Usually when we do this he'll-uh...interrupt."
  2700. >Starlight snickers for a moment before laying down on top of you, doing her best to smother you with her now freakish teats.
  2701. >"Don't worry about him. The two of us are going to have some fun while he makes breakfast."
  2702. >Breakfast?
  2703. "Breakfast?"
  2704. >Her eyes widen for a moment before she starts looking around the room.
  2705. >"Uh, no. I said-uh-bed fast! H-he's looking for a faster bed so we can-"
  2706. "Breakfast!"
  2707. >Starlight is starting to get frustrated.
  2708. >"No! It's sexy time and-"
  2709. >You start wriggling.
  2710. "NO HOMO! And we can't have a proper sexy time without Anon. So let's go eat and then drag him back to bed."
  2711. >Her brow furrows at your undeniable logic.
  2712. >"Huh. That may be the best idea you've ever had."
  2713. >She shifts upwards, which causes you to roll onto the floor with your wriggling.
  2714. "Ow. Well of course. I...That was an insult, wasn't it?"
  2715. >"Mostly."
  2716. >You wave a hoof as you move to check the calendar.
  2717. "Why are you so...off today?"
  2718. >Anon was pretty much the only one who actually made notes in the calendar.
  2719. >Despite this, or because of it really, it looked more like a diary or a foals coloring book than anything else.
  2720. >"Well, since you fell asleep and it was my birthday, I got some special treatment~ We went into that oversized bathroom so he could wash every. Single. Inch of this new body."
  2721. >You look Starlight up and down again before shaking your head.
  2722. "I refuse to believe he touched a mare without a tuft."
  2723. >You smirk.
  2724. "You don't even have your horn anymore. What good are you?"
  2725. >Looking back to the calendar, you see you're doing a show for the school today.
  2726. >Did you actually agree to that?
  2727. >A smaller note next to the note mentions how you were paid in belly rubs.
  2728. >...
  2729. >You can live with this.
  2730. >You turn back to Starlight who is now lifting up her now even bigger teats, causing a pang of jealousy.
  2731. >You didn't make fun of her tuft because of your tiny teats.
  2732. >Nuh-uh.
  2733. >And you totally didn't buy tuft care products to help compensate for your tiny teats.
  2734. >Nope.
  2735. >"What if teats are like tufts to humans?"
  2736. >...
  2737. "That's stupid."
  2738. >"No hear me out, what if-"
  2739. "No. You have dumb ideas and should feel ashamed of yourself, Starlight Glimmer."
  2740. >She releases her teats, letting them bounce around for a moment as she looks at you.
  2741. >"...Is this because you have small-"
  2742. "LALALA, CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
  2743. >You use your magic to start tossing pillows her way as you continue to drown out her lies.
  2744. >"Ah, bucker stop! Celestia damn it, Trixie-OW! That one hit me in the teat!"
  2745. >She starts trying to dodge pillows as she tries to get off the bed.
  2746. >"Cold! Cold floor, feet are weird! Hey! Don't aim there! Oh, you bucking...Okay fine! I'll just go ask Anon!"
  2747. >What?!
  2748. >She can't do that!
  2749. "No!"
  2750. >You redouble your assault, trying to slow her down as she dashes towards the door.
  2751. >Alas, your weaponry betrays you, as she picks a pillow up from the ground and starts to use it as a shield.
  2752. >"Haha! Here we go, Trix!"
  2753. >As she leaves you start collecting pillows.
  2754. >You will stop her.
  2755. >With a marely roar you give chase.
  2756. "Trixie is going to stomp on those oversized teats if it's the last thing she does!"
  2757. >Out in the hallway, Starlight had already made it quite some distance, but was running funny.
  2758. >If you hit her between the legs, you'll be sure to hit her harder somewhere else so she can't feel it.
  2759. >"You could have just eaten me out and we'd be fine, but nnnoooo."
  2760. >You launch the pillows in three round bursts, trying to keep your accuracy.
  2761. >You never realized how many pillows you had before, but you're thankful for their numbers now.
  2762. >There were eighteen pillows total with Starlight holding one, meaning you had six shots that could be picked up so long as she didn't-
  2763. >"Haha! Another shield you little bastard! Keep tossing them at me, I'll keep catching them!"
  2764. "Alright fine! If you want some action so bad get over here so I can shove a hoof up your ponut!"
  2765. >Starlight giggled like a schoolcolt as she picks up another one of your shots.
  2766. >"Nope, too late! Anon's going to tell both of us how much better I am than you, you tiny tea-"
  2767. "You shut your whorse mouth!"
  2768. >Your rage starts boiling over, but before you can do anything she enters the dining hall.
  2769. >"Anon! Tell Trixie how much you prefer teats over tuft!"
  2770. "Nnnnooooooo!"
  2771. >You drop the pillows and let loose into a dead mares sprint.
  2772. >You reach the door just as-
  2773. >THUNK
  2774. >Just as the door closes.
  2775. >You stand there for a moment, hoping that you didn't break anything.
  2776. >"Trixie? Are you alright?"
  2777. >The door, ever so slowly, swings inward to reveal a sheepish looking Starlight still holding her pillows.
  2778. >"Hey, um, I didn't mean for you-"
  2779. >"What were you saying Star? Couldn't quite hear you in the kitchen."
  2780. >Starlight momentarily locks up before spinning to face Anon.
  2781. >You wriggle your muzzle lightly to test for breaks while staying silent.
  2782. >Thinking on all the things Starlight had said, you can't help but wonder if she was right.
  2783. >She does her best to stand between you and Anon, setting the pillows around her legs so he can't see you.
  2784. >"Y-yeah I just-"
  2785. >"Where are your clothes?"
  2786. >It wasn't so much of a question as it was a statement.
  2787. >You wriggle your muzzle as you step out from behind your herd sister, only to see Anon with a pot of coffee staring at the ceiling.
  2788. >What if he does prefer teat to tuft?
  2789. >You knew you were...lacking in that regard.
  2790. >Anon puffs air as he takes the coffee over to Twilight.
  2791. >"Sorry, the food'll be out soon."
  2792. >She gives a short nod before taking a sip straight from the pot.
  2793. >"Thank you."
  2794. >Anonymous turns his body back to you and his face back to the ceiling.
  2795. >"Starlight, go put some clothes on."
  2796. "Trixie knew you were ugly!"
  2797. >You didn't doubt it for a second.
  2798. >"He does not think I am ugly! I'm having trouble trotting around because of him rutting me so hard last night."
  2799. >Anon groans.
  2800. >"Girls please, we do not need to talk about that kind of thing in front of Twilight."
  2801. >Twilight pulls herself out of her coffee long enough to talk.
  2802. >"It's okay, I'm used to it."
  2803. "What exactly do you mean by 'girls'? Trixie was saying nothing inappropriate. Also you make indecent acts in front of Twilight plenty."
  2804. >An accusatory finger is pointed in your direction.
  2805. >"You were about to. As for the stuff I do, I'll admit I really shouldn't do it, but at least I have the decency not to openly share our sex life."
  2806. >Your jaw opens for a quick and witty rebuttal, but just as quickly snaps shut.
  2807. >He was absolutely right.
  2808. >You could argue after food.
  2809. >You shake your head and trot towards the table only to be pulled back by your tail.
  2810. >"Hold on, Trixie. We're not quite done."
  2811. "But food."
  2812. >Anon waves a hand, still watching the ceiling as if it was your glorious flank.
  2813. >"It's not done yet and you're done with whatever you're doing until you put some clothes on, Star."
  2814. >Starlight chuckles as she sets down on one of the pillows next to you.
  2815. >"Just hold on a sec, big guy."
  2816. >"Starlight."
  2817. >"Just one sec! Okay, what's better tuft or teat for you? Trix and I are having a little debate."
  2818. >"Starlight, I swear to god!"
  2819. "Trixie also finds this discussion inappropriate."
  2820. >A hand swats across your nose.
  2821. >"You just don't want to talk about it because you have some tiny teats."
  2822. >You do not like her having hands.
  2823. >Well, you might if she uses them in a nice way.
  2824. >An eyebrow turns up as she looks at the hand that swatted you.
  2825. >"I think you hit that door a bit harder than we thought. You're bleeding, mare."
  2826. >Anonymous finally looks towards the two of you.
  2827. >"What?"
  2828. >You bring a hoof up to your muzzle and it comes away red.
  2829. >It still kind of hurts, but you don't think you broke anything.
  2830. >You try to set the hoof back down, but find the floor to be a lot further away than you remembered.
  2831. >"Trixie? Why are you bleeding? Star said you hit a door, and it's too early for even you to be drinking."
  2832. >Anon, who was now holding you tight against his chest, starts to glare st Starlight.
  2833. >"What did you two do?"
  2834. >Two hooves and two hands instantly go up.
  2835. >"Nothing!"
  2836. "Trixie has a right to a lawyer as well as-hmhmm. Sorry, force of habit."
  2837. >Anon grimaces as he uses a dish towel to try and wipe the blood from your nose.
  2838. "Nooo, stop. Trixie is not a foal."
  2839. >"Really you two, can you not go five minutes without me? I'll ask again, what happened?"
  2840. >You wriggle around in Anons arms, trying to get away from his coddling, while Starlight explains.
  2841. >"Well, you see, we were having this little argument about your preferences, which turned into a little fight."
  2842. >Anon stops his assault to stare down Starlight.
  2843. >"You two were fighting over me? You hurt Trixie-"
  2844. >"Nononono, she just ran into the door as I shut it!"
  2845. "You shut it on purpose?!"
  2846. >You didn't see that!
  2847. >Anon seems especially mad now.
  2848. >He throws the slightly bloody towel over his shoulder.
  2849. >"Starlight, you have five seconds to pick up every single one of these pillows, take them to our room, and get dressed."
  2850. >Starlight stands shakily on her foundation of pillows.
  2851. >"That's not fair!"
  2852. >"Five."
  2853. >"I only brought one-three of these pillows, the rest are from Trixie."
  2854. >You kind of wish you had popcorn.
  2855. >"Four."
  2856. >"A-and she was supposed to-hey, put that fan away!"
  2857. >Popcorn isn't good for breakfast, though.
  2858. >"Three."
  2859. >"What happened to it not being nice to hit people you like?!"
  2860. >Anonymous stares at her for a full second.
  2861. >You bet he knows a good breakfast popcorn thing.
  2862. >"I was being sappy. Two."
  2863. >You want to nuzzle Anon right now, but you're not missing this.
  2864. >"Sappy my-"
  2865. >"OMAE WA MOU BAPPEDEIRU!"
  2866. >"What?"
  2867. >BAPBAPBAPBAPBAP
  2868. >"Ow, buck horseapples I'm sorry STOP, ANON, STOP!"
  2869. >She scrambles her way off of her pile and into the hallway, sprinting for your room.
  2870. >It was nice having Anon defend you.
  2871. >Not exactly marely, but nice.
  2872. "She forgot the pillows."
  2873. >Anon pockets the fan as he walks you to the table.
  2874. >"Yep. I'll deal with her later. Twilight, do you have a way to see if her muzzle is broken?"
  2875. >The mare in question looks much more awake and was wearing a small smile.
  2876. >"Yep. Bring her over here."
  2877. >Anon does just that as you grumble lightly to yourself.
  2878. >You may have made up with Twilight, but you still didn't want her poking you with her magic.
  2879. >The mares horn lights up and you can feel her probe lightly into your muzzle.
  2880. >"Hmm. Doesn't seem broken."
  2881. >A bit more power pours into the spell, making your whole face tingle.
  2882. >"No, nothing broken. She'll be fine, Anon."
  2883. >Anon sighs before setting you in a chair next to the probing princess.
  2884. >"Thank you, Twi. We'll hurry up on breakfast so you can get to school."
  2885. >Twilight gives another short nod.
  2886. >"Thank you, Anon. I appreciate it."
  2887. >Anon points a finger at you.
  2888. >"Behave."
  2889. "No."
  2890. >"Behave or I'll eat your breakfast myself."
  2891. >You narrow your eyes.
  2892. >Usually this would be an idle threat, but Starlight had stirred him up.
  2893. >And you know he can eat even more than you.
  2894. >You snort before sitting back in your seat.
  2895. "Very well."
  2896. >Anon nods before disappearing through the horn mangled door, leaving you in the silence of a princess sipping too much coffee.
  2897. >...
  2898. >It might be fun being in a herd with two humans.
  2899. >That's four hands.
  2900. >You could have a hand holding each-
  2901. >"Your eye looks better."
  2902. >Your head snaps over to Twilight before a hoof reaches up to the eye in question.
  2903. "Yes well, you can only see the black since Trixie is blue."
  2904. >You were very happy for this fact.
  2905. >It made going on stage after getting kicked out of a town easier.
  2906. >You suppose she had a similar vein of luck, in that bruises wouldn't show up very well on purple also.
  2907. >Twilight lightly dabs at her lip with a napkin.
  2908. >After she finishes she looks to you with a serious expression.
  2909. >"Were you serious about being sorry and making amends?"
  2910. >Does she want something?
  2911. >You nod slowly.
  2912. "Uh, yes? You've been pretty nice. To all of us. Trixie know she can grate on ponies nerves, and to push you after everything you've done for us would be just..."
  2913. >It would be just you.
  2914. >Twilight gives another short nod.
  2915. >"I admit, my sense of humor is...limited. But if the two of us can actually, like we said, be mature moving forward I would very much like to be friends with you."
  2916. >Skepticism rising.
  2917. "You truly want to be friends?"
  2918. >She shrugs with her wings before taking another sip.
  2919. >"Well, I'm supposed to be the princess of friendship and two of my friends are dating you. So if I'm going to continue to act like a foal about this, I don't exactly deserve the title."
  2920. >You nod slowly.
  2921. "Yes, that makes sense...So does that mean you'll make a decree making The Great and Powerful Trixie title official?"
  2922. >Twilight takes a slow sip of coffee.
  2923. >"Nope."
  2924. >You scrunch a mighty scrunch.
  2925. "Well then now that we're friends give me some of that coffee."
  2926. >She takes another sip, giving you a smirk this time.
  2927. >"Nope."
  2928. >Your scrunch intensifies.
  2929. "Gimme!"
  2930. >"Nope. I think Sunset was right about banter. Does this qualify as banter? Should I take notes?"
  2931. >None have ever scrunched as hard as your scrunching right now.
  2932. >And then it dawns on you.
  2933. "You're actually being fun. Twilight Sparkle, I didn't think you could do it."
  2934. >Her smirk grows a little wider as she takes another sip.
  2935. >"And I'm having fun with you. I never thought I'd see the day, but here we are."
  2936. >She holds out a hoof.
  2937. >"Friends?"
  2938. >You only need to think for a second before wrapping your own hoof around hers.
  2939. "Friends. Now give me some coffee!"
  2940. >"Pfft. The last thing you need is coffee."
  2941. >You squawk out your displeasure.
  2942. "Me?! You are draining an entire pot of coffee straight from the pot! You-"
  2943. >"Trixie! Are you being bad?!"
  2944. >You panic, and do the only sensible thing when confronted with an upset and bap ready Anon.
  2945. >You dive under the table.
  2946. >The door swings open as you skid to a halt.
  2947. >The only sound in the room is Twilight sipping on her coffee.
  2948. >"Was she bugging you, Twi?"
  2949. >"No, she just started yelling about her horn and Starlights holes before running off."
  2950. >Is she really covering for you?
  2951. >"...Yeah, that sounds like something she'd do. Sorry about her, let me know if you need anything."
  2952. >The door swings shut and you slowly crawl out from under the table, giving the princess an incredulous look.
  2953. "Did you seriously cover for Trixie?"
  2954. >Sip.
  2955. >"Can you please decide on speaking in the first or third person?"
  2956. "Food first, word right later. Did you really lie to Anon for me?"
  2957. >Twilight grimaces before taking another sip.
  2958. >"Yeah, well I wasn't going to get you in trouble for winding you up."
  2959. >Sip.
  2960. >You smile and give her a nudge.
  2961. "Look at little miss sunhat tipper. Galloping around, lying behind stallions backs."
  2962. >At this, Twilight spews her coffee all over the table while coughing up a storm.
  2963. >You panic as she starts to choke on some of the coffee and start to thump her on the back.
  2964. "Uh there, there. It's fine. No need to be too loud and attract Anon."
  2965. >"Trixie, what the buck did you do?"
  2966. >Anon can't get you if you're under the table!
  2967. >"That is the third place we look when you go missing. Now what did you do to Twilight?"
  2968. >You poke your head out and see Starlight has returned to take your position in beating Twilights back.
  2969. >The mare, the actual one, waves a hoof.
  2970. >"S-she didn't do anything. Just had some coffee go down the wrong way."
  2971. >"Coffee? Ooh!"
  2972. >Starlight reaches out for the pot of coffee only to be denied.
  2973. >BZZZAP
  2974. >"OW CELESTIA DAMN FATHERBUCKING-MMPH!"
  2975. >A band of light appears around Starlights mouth, silencing her and dragging her towards Twilight.
  2976. >Sip.
  2977. >"You know very well the rules of coffee in this castle. You two get to have the third pot if there's any left."
  2978. >Sip.
  2979. >"Didn't Anon tell you to get dressed?"
  2980. "Trixie was actually curious, why is it such a big deal?"
  2981. >Sip.
  2982. >"If it's like the humans from the other side of the portal it's like-"
  2983. >Twilight releases your herdsister as she thinks of a way to explain.
  2984. >"To be naked is like flagging your tail for his kind. I guess. Some things don't translate over, and I'm pretty sure he's not even from there."
  2985. >Starlight bounces in place for a moment, causing her teats to do the same.
  2986. >"I guess that makes sense. Without a tail to cover that up it's just out there."
  2987. >Sip.
  2988. >"So you should probably get dressed."
  2989. "Yes, you are a disgusting beast and should cover up immediately."
  2990. >Starlight fiddles with a hand before successfully sticking her middle finger out at you, the same way Anon would do to Rainbow when you all drank together.
  2991. >"Buck you, dyke. And I'm not dressed because there's an issue."
  2992. "Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Not even a day without your magic and you can't even dress yourself."
  2993. >Twilight is attempting to drown herself in coffee as the kitchen door opens.
  2994. >"I'm telling you Spike, if you burn them again we're having words. Starlight! I thought I told you-"
  2995. >"I'm not sure how to put it on! I brought it with me so you could help. There's too much and you took it off of me last night, so I'm not sure what goes where. And look at this! I'm not a mare-slut!"
  2996. >Socks?
  2997. >You snicker.
  2998. "Could have fooled me."
  2999. >For all of your wit, you receive a sock to the face.
  3000. "Ah! Anon, get it off!"
  3001. >You start whipping your head around as Anon pulls you out from under the table.
  3002. >He looks over to Twilight as he sets another coffee pot on the table.
  3003. >"So why'd you cover for her?"
  3004. >She pulls her muzzle out long enough to speak.
  3005. >He didn't know you were under the table.
  3006. >He couldn't have.
  3007. >You are a master of stealth.
  3008. >"I kind of wound her up and didn't want to get her in trouble because of something I did."
  3009. >Anon smiles as he pulls the obscene object off.
  3010. >"I appreciate the thought Twi, but you could have just said you two were having some fun. Hell, anytime you want to talk feel free to come bug me. I may not be the most socially savvy around, but you've done a lot for me here and I really appreciate everything you've done."
  3011. >Sip.
  3012. >"Yeah."
  3013. >Silence hangs in the air for a moment before Starlight speaks up.
  3014. >"So, I'm not wearing those and-"
  3015. >"What's the big deal? I wear socks everyday."
  3016. >What?
  3017. >How have you never noticed this.
  3018. >The coffee pot clatters to the table as Twilight starts to laugh.
  3019. >"HahahAHAHA! Oh, yeah! I forgot that when I went through the portal it gave me socks that nearly went to my knees! HaHA! I didn't even care that I was some other species, I nearly lost my mind from those freakish socks! I thought somepony was going to come along, drag me into an alley, and-and-"
  3020. >Twilight sniffles for a moment as the three of you look at eachother.
  3021. >Where did this come from?
  3022. >"I didn't even care if it was a mare or stallion. I just-sniff-I just thought of somepony touching me and-sniff-I thought that maybe I would get to know what it was like."
  3023. >For the third time, silence reigns in the dining hall and this time it is painful.
  3024. >You're not even going to try and touch this one.
  3025. >You look to Starlight, who is supposed to be some kind of therapist, and try to urge her forward.
  3026. >She snakes her head vigorously and before you can use your magic to push her, Anon steps forward.
  3027. >Once he gets close enough, he leans down and wraps her in a hug.
  3028. >"That is not what you would have wanted, Twilight. You don't...you don't just take what's thrown at you because there's a good chance that little bit of shelter, no matter how safe it may seem, will leave some scars. Trust me, I've got some from when I tried to get out of a storm once. If you want shelter, you don't jump into the first thing you see. That's usually where some of the meanest stuff is."
  3029. >Anon shuffles around, getting lower to the ground.
  3030. >"That's part of the reason I didn't come out of the forest too easy. I guess this isn't a great analogy for love or whatever, but...there's a time to sit in your safe little shelter, and a time to step forward and see what the world has for you? I'm bad at this I know, but you've done a lot for me, Twi. I want to help you."
  3031. >Twilight shrinks in on herself.
  3032. >Anon sighs as he holds her tighter.
  3033. >"What I'm saying is is that if you need anything from me, in any way, just ask."
  3034. >You watch as Starlight steps forward, placing a hand on the other side of Twilight.
  3035. >"Me too, Twilight. You got me on the right track, outside of some dungeon, and a job. I owe you a lot."
  3036. >Well.
  3037. >All or nothing, you suppose.
  3038. >You trot over to be next to Anon before placing a hoof on Twilight.
  3039. "I know we haven't been very agreeable before now, and only know eachother so well, but I know you care about Anonymous. About all three of us. We have a place for one more, Twilight. What do you think of joining our herd?"
  3040. >Twilight seizes up, while the other two look happy with you.
  3041. >A moment later, Twilight gently pushes Anon away.
  3042. >"I-"
  3043. >She takes a deep breath before looking at the table.
  3044. >"There's a lot of rules for me joining a herd since I'm royalty. I would need to go and make sure everything is in order."
  3045. >Anon rubs her back as he gives you a quick look.
  3046. >"You do whatever you need to. And if you don't want to join or there's problems, that's fine too. I probably shouldn't have thrown this at you right after saying you shouldn't throw yourself around."
  3047. >"...Yeah."
  3048. >Twilight extends her wings, draping one over each human while wrapping a leg around your neck.
  3049. >"I need to tell Spike that he needs to substitute for my class for the week."
  3050. >SNAP
  3051. >And like that she's gone.
  3052. >You stand there for a moment, not really sure if you flubbed that or not, while the other two simply watch you.
  3053. >Anon gets up and stares at the kitchen doors, the voices of Twilight and Spike barely audible through the door.
  3054. >Starlight pokes you.
  3055. >"That was a surprise."
  3056. >Anon nods as he gives you a smile.
  3057. >"Trixie, can you go and check on the boys? They should be in that garden I made behind the castle. Starlight-"
  3058. >Anon picks up a shirt.
  3059. >"Tags go inside and on the-why do they even have tags?! They're made of magic!"
  3060. >He grunts and throws the shirt at her.
  3061. >"I know you watch me get dressed, so it should be easy to figure out."
  3062. >You start scrunching again.
  3063. "She what?!"
  3064. >Anon pokes you in the nose.
  3065. >"Jimmies. Now."
  3066. >You whimper a little.
  3067. "Can I at least get some coffee first?"
  3068. >Anon nods.
  3069. >"Sure, once I get a cup."
  3070. >Starlight puffs up.
  3071. >"You didn't make Twilight use a cup."
  3072. >Anon crosses his arms, watching the door as he answers.
  3073. >"She's not in the herd. I can't tell her how to eat."
  3074. >Looking at the table you see a second, fresh pot which you promptly grab.
  3075. >What he doesn't know won't bap you.
  3076. >Sip.
  3077. ----------
  3078. >You would like to state that you are not a happy mare.
  3079. >As soon as you had seen the bushes that the pack that had disguised themselves as, they had transformed and charged.
  3080. >Really it was just Dean who charged, and the rest of the pack followed while you ran like a filly being chased by a bunch of wolves.
  3081. >All the way to the dining room.
  3082. >There you were tackled, cuddled, and sniffed in various ways.
  3083. >Anon let the whole thing play out since he was still cooking and Spike had to leave.
  3084. >Spike said something about finding the seven demon ladys so he could be a proper substitute and raced off.
  3085. >With those two gone, Anon relented on making Starlight get dressed.
  3086. >That left her still naked self, flanked by Henson and Hendrix, and you.
  3087. >You had Dean and the twins lying on top of you, while New Jim and Boyle were in a corner together.
  3088. >Altogether, it wasn't too bad.
  3089. >They were snugly and kind of warm.
  3090. >Could do something to make them softer though.
  3091. >...
  3092. >What if they ate the pillows?
  3093. >No, don't think that!
  3094. >Then they will do it!
  3095. >Think about-
  3096. >"Breakfast!"
  3097. >That.
  3098. >Anon with breakfast is a good thing.
  3099. >You start to wriggle around under the pile.
  3100. "Can Trixie get out now?"
  3101. >The pile starts to shift until Anon is revealed.
  3102. >Reaching down, he wraps an arm around your barrel and pulls you up.
  3103. >Your former cuddle pile collapses in on itself, much to your relief.
  3104. >"Star, can you set the table?"
  3105. >"Sure, let me just...oh, right."
  3106. >Anon turns around, allowing you to see Starlight staring at the plates.
  3107. >She smiles weakly at Anon.
  3108. >"We can just eat off the tray, right?"
  3109. >You take back any negative statements you made of Starlight being like this.
  3110. >You love ALL of this.
  3111. "Oh, poor Starlight. Not only can she not get dressed, she can't even set a table without magic."
  3112. >"Oh, buck you! My cutie mark is magic based and-"
  3113. "What cutie mark?"
  3114. >You grin evilly as her eyes grow wide.
  3115. >She starts to spin in place, trying to grab her flank.
  3116. >This causes Henson to stand back and Hendrix to start playing quickly as he hops in place.
  3117. >"Nonono, I have to have it. I couldn't have lost that!"
  3118. >Anon gives you a small poke.
  3119. >"Wasn't her thing removing those?"
  3120. >You shrug as Starlight spins faster.
  3121. "Well a cutie mark-"
  3122. >"All seven of my moms are going to track me down, and each one will bring their own belt!"
  3123. >Starlight loses her balance, impacting with the floor.
  3124. >Anon looks at you as Hendrix stops playing and starts sniffing her.
  3125. >"She has seven moms?"
  3126. "Trixie never knew that. But she did tell Trixie that she doesn't have any siblings."
  3127. >Anon shakes his head.
  3128. >"Oof, this explains some stuff. How about we let her calm down and never bring it up again."
  3129. >You nod, floating a piece of hay bacon from the food cart and taking a quick bite.
  3130. >Starlight groans.
  3131. >"Ugh, how do you use two legs all the time if your head is this spinny?"
  3132. >She grabs her head as she shivers.
  3133. >Hendrix finally gets bored of your herd sister and wanders off to be with Boyle and Jim to play a song.
  3134. >"Why's the floor so cold? I miss my fur."
  3135. >Anon chuckles as he runs a hand through your tuft.
  3136. >"Do you mind keeping her warm while I set the table?"
  3137. >You rub your chin as you think.
  3138. "Hmm, what's in it for Trixie?"
  3139. >Anon rolls his eyes as he sets you on the ground.
  3140. >"Breakfast."
  3141. >You begin trotting towards Starlight.
  3142. "You drive a hard bargain, Anonymous."
  3143. >He chuckles again as you levitate what you think is Starlights clothes over to her.
  3144. >Balling it up, you lift her head up and gently push it under.
  3145. >She sighs in relief as you give her a short nuzzle.
  3146. "Is the poor little foal dizzy?"
  3147. >She groans again as you consider how best to get on without upsetting her further.
  3148. >"I'll cuss you out properly when I feel better."
  3149. >Starlight, having no patience as usual, simply grabs you under the barrel and pulls you onto hers.
  3150. "Waah, how dare you-"
  3151. >"Sssshh, little warming pillow. It's time to be quiet and warm."
  3152. >You want to fuss.
  3153. >You want to yell and complain.
  3154. >But her new super sized teats make for wonderful pillows.
  3155. >No homo.
  3156. >...
  3157. >Okay, maybe a little homo, but you're not saying it out loud.
  3158. >You nestle into your herd sister as she runs a hand through your tuft.
  3159. >"It's so weird. I had no idea how fuzzy we were."
  3160. >You poke a hoof into her belly.
  3161. "You mean how fuzzy I am. Unlike you, I take the time to take care of my coat and mane."
  3162. >Starlight heaves under you.
  3163. >"Oh, that's a load! I totally-"
  3164. >"She's right, actually."
  3165. >Both of you shift to see Anon standing over you.
  3166. >"Trixie's always been fluffier. Guess that's part of the showmare stuff."
  3167. >Starlight glares at Anon for a moment before turning to you.
  3168. >"Yeah, well that just means you're the coltiest of all three of us."
  3169. >You smirk as you wriggle up her barrel.
  3170. >Do you still call it a barrel since she's not a pony?
  3171. "It also means I'm the most snugly mare in the herd."
  3172. >Starlight narrows her eyes as Anon pats your back.
  3173. >"Okay, you two. Food's getting cold."
  3174. "Food!"
  3175. >You leap off of Starlight, kicking the air out of her.
  3176. >"Oof, you little bastard."
  3177. >You rush over to the table, noticing the slightly smaller spread.
  3178. >That's fair, you guess.
  3179. >Two of the usual arrivals are missing.
  3180. >The real difference is the cut in hay items.
  3181. >You start loading up on waffles as you ask why.
  3182. "Anon, things seem a little different today. Are we running low on hay?"
  3183. >Anon sits down next to you, slowly setting Starlight in his lap.
  3184. >...
  3185. >You wanted to sit in his lap.
  3186. >"Twilight gave Spike a note at some point. Basically said her diet is going to be a lot like mine until she changes back."
  3187. >Huh
  3188. >So that means all this hay bacon is for you.
  3189. >That means you don't have to lick each of your pieces to mark them.
  3190. >You scoot the plate over and start doing so anyway.
  3191. >But Starlight eating meat means-
  3192. "Snrk, you get to eat fish and shrimp with Anonymous and Trixie, Starlight."
  3193. >She goes pale for a moment as Anon gives you a disapproving stare.
  3194. >"I wanted to keep this quiet until lunch, Trixie."
  3195. >You smile.
  3196. >There was very little you wouldn't eat, allowing you to share more meal time with Anon.
  3197. >Starlight, meanwhile, was extremely squeamish around meat.
  3198. "Then you shouldn't have told me she was going to eat meat. Oh just think of it, Starlight. We could have crab! You remember the noise of the shell cracking open, right?"
  3199. >Starlight is starting to look even more like Anon with how green she's turning.
  3200. >Anon scowls as Starlight looks up at him.
  3201. >You start on your waffles, content to enjoy the show.
  3202. >"Anon, please tell me I don't need to eat that stuff!"
  3203. >Anon sighs as he tries to pull together two plates of waffles with just one arm, the other being wrapped around Starlight.
  3204. >You lift up a pair of waffles and set them on the plate, getting a nod from Anon.
  3205. >"You're different now, Star. You can eat a lot of the same stuff, but protein's important and hay's a no-go."
  3206. >Starlight starts wriggling around in Anons lap, causing him to tighten his grip.
  3207. >"B-but all my favorite things are hay, like hay quesadillas and-"
  3208. >With a bottle of syrup in hand, Anon boops Starlight.
  3209. >"If you keep bouncing around like that I'm dragging you back to our room, where I'll do horrible things to these."
  3210. >He puts the bottle down to give a teat a squeeze, getting a small noise out of her and a frown from you.
  3211. >Maybe he is a teat stallion.
  3212. >"We're going to act decent when they get back. And as for the quesadillas, you two just eat those to gross out Twilight."
  3213. >Starlight tries to scrunch, but can't quite manage it with her shortened muzzle.
  3214. >"Yeah well, she makes funny faces when we eat them."
  3215. >You throw a hoof up.
  3216. >Thankfully, they wait because you're still chewing.
  3217. >Still chewing.
  3218. >You should take smaller bites.
  3219. "Trixie saw you laughing last time we had some, Anonymous. Do not deny it is amusing."
  3220. >Anon looks thoroughly unamused, before growing a mischievous grin.
  3221. >He looks around for a moment before giving Starlight a pat, causing her to stand while looking intrigued.
  3222. >Anon stands up before sliding over to you.
  3223. >"We all have our buttons, Trixie. Sometimes it's okay to push them. But you have to realize, if you push someones buttons-"
  3224. >Anon gets behind you, forcing you to spin in place to watch him.
  3225. >He sits down on the ground, arms blocking any escape.
  3226. >His right arm starts to shift behind you, and you can hear a fork on your plate.
  3227. >"You're buttons might be pushed back."
  3228. >A moment later, a small bite of waffle on a fork drifts past your head, dripping a minute amount of syrup on you.
  3229. >It's in his mouth and being chewed before you can object.
  3230. "Hey, we were just talking about her! You can't steal-mph"
  3231. >Anons lips lock with yours, silencing your protests.
  3232. >You can instantly feel your face heat up.
  3233. >The hand holding the fork moves to return it, while the other moves to your back.
  3234. >It slowly traces down your spine until reaching the base of your tail.
  3235. >From there, it moves to your cutie mark, tracing the shape he knew so well.
  3236. >Your tremble at the sudden assault.
  3237. >The other hand comes back, wrapping around your hoof.
  3238. >He promised only to do that in your room!
  3239. >Anon leans in close, pushing your back against the table.
  3240. >Finally, he gives you back your waffle.
  3241. >He shifts back a bit, looking you deeply in the eyes.
  3242. >"You need to take smaller bites."
  3243. >He moves downward to lick up the bit of syrup that dripped on you, using some of his teeth as he moves away.
  3244. >As he comes back, he gives you a quick peck.
  3245. >"Missed a spot."
  3246. >Anon turns his head-
  3247. >How do you do that again?
  3248. >To look at Starlight.
  3249. >"Now how about we push your buttons."
  3250. >"Uh-um-I think all of my buttons are pushed right now."
  3251. >Anon smiles as he looks back to you.
  3252. >He grabs your jaw and starts to work it up and down.
  3253. >"This is called chewing, Trixie. Do you remember what chewing is?"
  3254. >Chewing.
  3255. >You can do that.
  3256. >You slowly nod and start to work your jaw yourself.
  3257. >Anon starts to look around the room.
  3258. >"Is there a clock in here, Star? I like to time how long she takes to come back."
  3259. >"Oh, I've got this spell that...buck me."
  3260. >Anon chuckles.
  3261. >"After Trixie. I need to make sure she gets some too."
  3262. >You look down at your hoof.
  3263. >"Oh look! I think she's coming to!"
  3264. >He's still holding your hoof.
  3265. >In public.
  3266. >His thumb runs along the edge of it, tickling the edge of the fetlock making you shiver.
  3267. >"Is this normal for ponies to freak out about their hooves being grabbed like this?"
  3268. >"No, she's just weird."
  3269. >"Well I guess she's got some good herd mates or whatever."
  3270. >He is holding your hoof.
  3271. >The other hand gives your flank a squeeze.
  3272. >Why is he still holding your hoof?
  3273. >"Look at how red she is. Hey, let's see what this does!"
  3274. >You feel yourself shifting around before a pink hand grabs your other hoof.
  3275. >You look to the first hoof.
  3276. >Green hand.
  3277. >You look back.
  3278. >Pink hand.
  3279. >Green hand.
  3280. >Pink.
  3281. >Green.
  3282. >Pi-
  3283. "LEWD!"
  3284. >Both of the scoundrels start to laugh as you pout.
  3285. "All of that was far too lewd! And Trixie thought we agreed to no hoof holding outside of the bedroom."
  3286. >Starlight laughs harder as Anon pulls you in for a hug.
  3287. >"It's okay, Trix. No one can see us."
  3288. "Well-"
  3289. >"Unless Twilight put some kind of way to spy on us while she's gone."
  3290. >wat
  3291. >Starlight slows her laughing long enough to speak.
  3292. >"Y-yeah, I bet she has observer wards everywhere to make porn of us."
  3293. >You wouldn't doubt that too much.
  3294. "Do you really think she would watch us like that?"
  3295. >Anon slides his plate over so he can keep eating.
  3296. >"Remember that weird list you told me about that both of you were on? Well both of you are living in her house and, if nothing else, there's probably some valuable stuff around here."
  3297. >Anon scoops some egg onto his plate.
  3298. >"Plus I'm probably on that list too, so she might be worrying about me."
  3299. >You will say it again.
  3300. >wat
  3301. "Why would you be on that list?"
  3302. >Anon swallows his bite before speaking.
  3303. >"After all the shit I saw in that forest? I don't care what walks out of there, I'd keep them at knife point until my deathbed, and I bet the princesses have a similar policy."
  3304. >Starlight crosses her arms.
  3305. >"So why wouldn't they just tell you?"
  3306. >Anon lifts you up, patting his lap.
  3307. >Starlight slowly walks over and sits down before you're placed on her lap, pulling her plate over a second later.
  3308. >It's a little awkward with four arms and your magic running food around you, but you will endure to be queen of the snuggle pile.
  3309. >"Have you seen the way some of those girls treat me? It's like they think I'm some kind of woman that will cry at the drop of a hat."
  3310. >Anon shakes his head.
  3311. >"They probably think I'll be offended or something for being on that list."
  3312. >You guess that makes sense.
  3313. "So why didn't you say anything?"
  3314. >A fork passes over your nose, dropping a bit of hash brown on it.
  3315. >"Sorry."
  3316. >Anon leans around Starlight, kissing the spot clean and making you blush.
  3317. >"It's just that I have no idea how to approach her about it. I may be a dick-wait dicks are called pussies here. I may be a pussy-can't do it. I may be a bit of a dick, but I'm not just going to go up to a friend and ask something like that."
  3318. >You and Starlight look at each other, trying to come up with an argument.
  3319. >"What would I say? 'Hey Twi, are you and your friends spying me? Because if so, neato!' My current train of thought, which I know is rickety at best, is that if she does have some recording devices around here, she'll hear this conversation and we can clear this mess up. I know I said it before, but I REALLY hate this Game of Thrones shit."
  3320. >You shake your head.
  3321. "Trixie thinks you're being paranoid."
  3322. >"Yeah, I agree with Trixie, Nons."
  3323. >You put a hoof up, receiving a quick bump for being so great.
  3324. >And powerful.
  3325. >You do your best to dodge a passing bit of egg.
  3326. >Don't want to 'miss a spot' again.
  3327. >Anon sighs.
  3328. >"Yeah, you two are probably right. She's been nothing but nice to me while I've been here, despite me making an ass of myself sometimes."
  3329. >Starlight shifts around under you.
  3330. >"So I'm going to go ahead and change the subject since you went on some paranoid rant, but is 'ass' an insult for humans too? Because you really shouldn't let Cranky hear you say that."
  3331. >"It's an insult, but it also describes this."
  3332. >SMACK
  3333. >Starlight yelps before nearly launching you onto the table.
  3334. "Trixie demands that the two of you cease until breakfast is over!"
  3335. >Starlight shakes you a bit.
  3336. >"He just slapped my flank!"
  3337. >"I just slapped your ass. And why are you complaining now?"
  3338. >You nod as you butter a particularly fluffy biscuit.
  3339. "Yes, stop whining Starlight. We shall continue slapping your ass after breakfast."
  3340. >Anon laughs as Starlight growls, grabbing a biscuit of her own.
  3341. >"I'd be more upset, but with nopony else here we could just lay around, get drunk, and rut all day."
  3342. >What a wonderful life.
  3343. >"Okay first, you're coming with Trixie and I to put on a show for the kids. Second, don't put grape jelly on my biscuits, you degenerate."
  3344. >"I always put grape jelly on /my/ biscuit!"
  3345. "And it is agreed you have terrible taste."
  3346. >You slam your face onto her plate, eating the biscuit whole.
  3347. "Shee? Ith tashtesh terribah with grah jewwy awn eh."
  3348. >You don't worry yourself about the knife sitting in a shaking hand next to your head.
  3349. >"...Why are we sitting like this, Anon?"
  3350. >"Um, to make you mad?"
  3351. >"It's working."
  3352. >She sighs before shifting around again, probably looking at Anon.
  3353. >You don't know because you're looking at food.
  3354. >"Why am I going? I didn't agree to this."
  3355. >"Well besides lying around and getting drunk, what were your plans for today? And keep in mind that the two of us will be gone, so sex is off the table."
  3356. >"...Masturbating?"
  3357. >"You're helping."
  3358. >Starlight groans before letting out a low moan as Anon speaks.
  3359. >"And if we have time afterwards, we're going to Raritys. You need some more clothes and I need to not grab these all day."
  3360. >"I-I wouldn't mind if-"
  3361. >SMACK
  3362. >Once again, you are nearly sent into the table.
  3363. >"And what if I-"
  3364. "Breakfast is a sacred time! Trixie will not have it interrupted!"
  3365. >Anon laughs as Starlight tries to catch her breath.
  3366. >"Sorry, Trix. Just having a little fun."
  3367. >You shake your head as you grab some more of the hay bacon.
  3368. "Did you have a plan for the show?"
  3369. >A hand runs through your tuft, making you feel a bit better about the earlier events.
  3370. >"Yep, you're both going to find out why Henson is named after a puppeteer."
  3371. >A puppeteer?
  3372. >Your eyes snap over to Henson, who was staring blankly at you.
  3373. >How could he use puppets?
  3374. _-_-_-_-_-_
  3375. >You are Twilight Sparkle.
  3376. >And banishment almost sounds good right now.
  3377. >Of all the ponies you expected to offer you a place in their herd, Trixie must have been the last.
  3378. >At the very least she was awhile ago.
  3379. >Who would have thought you would try and make friends with her?
  3380. >You should have done that earlier.
  3381. >You were the princess of bucking friendship.
  3382. >You shouldn't have acted the way you did.
  3383. >You shuffle your wings as you pass a pair of guards, both giving a sharp salute.
  3384. >At the very least, you can say that this trip was partially true in it's intention.
  3385. >Herding for royalty was a pain, due to nobles sticking their noses where it didn't belong.
  3386. >This could be bypassed by being in a mono herd, something your sister-in-law exploited.
  3387. >The only catch was finding a stallion who was legitimately interested.
  3388. >You sigh.
  3389. >If you had a bit for every stallion, and even mare, that came up to you starting with talks of your grand wealth, you might actually be wealthy.
  3390. >You sigh again as a pair of guards open the final pair of doors.
  3391. >Stepping through, you barely even bother to look.
  3392. >How many times had you wanted to be in this hall as a filly?
  3393. >You had studied endlessly.
  3394. >Worked tirelessly.
  3395. >Only to be told to go make some friends.
  3396. >Maybe if you had ignored her-
  3397. >No.
  3398. >These wings are a good thing.
  3399. >You helped ponies with these.
  3400. >You stop in a beam of golden light, trying to calm yourself.
  3401. >You don't need to add these thoughts to the pile.
  3402. >"Hello, Twilight."
  3403. >Your head rises of its own volition, unable to deny the one offering the greeting.
  3404. "Hello, Princess."
  3405. >Celestia gives a good natured chuckle as she steps down from her pedestal.
  3406. >"I keep telling you to call me Celestia."
  3407. >You nod.
  3408. "Of course, Celestia."
  3409. >Her mask breaks for just a moment as a frown slips through, stopping her approach.
  3410. >"My sister tells me she sees little of you in her realm, and what she does see is not pleasant."
  3411. "..."
  3412. >"I am not happy with this, but you have read that tome, correct? We were able to recover ponies from almost every town after Harmony was broken. Every town save for that one. I personally only saw the town twice after the Everfree emerged."
  3413. >You turn back to the floor and breathe deep.
  3414. "So you think he is one?"
  3415. >She stays silent for what may be a full minute before making her way forward again.
  3416. >"Perhaps. I only saw the one personally. As of now, the only thing I can say is that threats, as well as some friends, are popping up from a thousand years ago."
  3417. >Celestia chuckles.
  3418. >"I would also say he is rude, crude, and entertaining."
  3419. >Three words to sum up the three of them.
  3420. >Would it be four soon?
  3421. "They invited me into their herd."
  3422. >As you stare at the floor, two gold plated hooves enter your vision.
  3423. >"The only thing stopping you is the paper work."
  3424. "Could I join them?"
  3425. >Two wings, which were so wonderfully warm, wrap around you.
  3426. >"Do you want to?"
  3427. >That's the million bit question.
  3428. "I-"
  3429. >You swallow, trying to collect your thoughts.
  3430. "Should I join them?"
  3431. >She gives you a warm smile as her wings pull you closer.
  3432. >"I'm the wrong princess to ask about that."
  3433. >Right.
  3434. "Should I-"
  3435. >"Twilight."
  3436. >You look upwards to see Celestia giving you a warm smile.
  3437. >"Do not work yourself up over this. Nopony has all of the answers, nor should they, especially in this regard. I will tell you, however, that if you go down this path, you may find something similar to when I sent you to Ponyville."
  3438. >All that time ago.
  3439. >When you lived in the library.
  3440. >A wing runs under your eye, but you're not sure who's it is.
  3441. >"It would be quite the change for you. Do you feel you are ready?"
  3442. >This is the first time she has asked.
  3443. >Every other time she just...
  3444. >You shake your head.
  3445. "I-I've been lying to him. And he's been so nice! And when I see the three of them together I just-"
  3446. >Celestia shushes you, the wing repeating its motion.
  3447. >"You're afraid he will scorn you for your actions?"
  3448. >You nod as the wing moves again.
  3449. >"Cadence may be the Princess of Love, but I can tell you that a relationship is built on trust. So when you return, if you still plan on joining their herd, you need to start with the truth."
  3450. >You do not like hearing it, but you know it's the truth.
  3451. "Do you think he'll forgive me?"
  3452. >Celestia hums, the motion of the wings having finally stopped.
  3453. >"That stallion is not like those you grew up around, Twilight. Factor in where he came from, and he might just be watching you as closely, if not closer, than you watched him."
  3454. >That may be true.
  3455. >You lock your eyes with Celestias, a small glimmer in yours.
  3456. "Do you mind if I stay here while I sort everything out?"
  3457. >She gives a short nod and a warm smile.
  3458. >"We always have a room ready for you, Twilight. Stay as long as you wish."
  3459. >You nod as you and pull out of the feathery embrace.
  3460. >"I understand you may want a nap, so I'll have a guard escort you to your room and an alarm set for dinner, in case you doze off."
  3461. >You nod again.
  3462. "Thank you."
  3463. >You start to trot away and think to yourself.
  3464. >You won't have to lie to Anon here.
  3465. >Although that doesn't really matter, you suppose.
  3466. >He'll find out soon enough.
  3467. >You just hope he won't be too mad at you.
  3468. ----------
  3469. >You are Anon.
  3470. >And this is going to go perfectly or horribly, there is no in between.
  3471. >Cheerliee didn't want you to outright scare the kids.
  3472. >You understood at first, but then you started thinking.
  3473. >You had seen things in that forest.
  3474. >The kind of stuff that makes you very happy to have two little ponys to cuddle with every night.
  3475. >And if these kids went into the woods because of your pack, because of you, you wouldn't be able to live with yourself.
  3476. >So you decided to go with overkill.
  3477. >And then redefine the word overkill.
  3478. >You sent the girls ahead to hype the kids up while you gathered some supplies.
  3479. >Supplies which included wood and refined wood.
  3480. >Also known as paper.
  3481. >Your Jimmys were in their titan form, having ripped a large segment of forest out by the root.
  3482. >You liked to call this form Faggot Grande.
  3483. >Because you're so creative.
  3484. >You stand up on Grandes back and walk down the tree making up his spine, using branches to support yourself.
  3485. >The rocking of his slow gait is calming, being intermixed with the rhythmic stomping.
  3486. >You kneel down half way down his back and take a look into his innards.
  3487. >Or as much innards as a tree dog can have.
  3488. >Currently, there were four kokiri pods growing inside Grande.
  3489. >You've never seen another one in the wild, so you're pretty sure it's something you trained into Henson.
  3490. >Could be the case with some of the others abilities too.
  3491. >You make your way up to the head, grabbing onto the structure sticking out of his 'skull'.
  3492. >You make one last check of your armor.
  3493. >It didn't make too much noise, but with it being this heavy, you had to use some skill for stealth instead of relying on just padding.
  3494. >A lot of it was made of geemer, which were pretty much just like the thing from the Metroid games.
  3495. >Nearly lost a foot to one of the bastards.
  3496. >Patched up the shoe with a bit of their shell.
  3497. >Your back was a full shell while your left shoulder was most of a shell.
  3498. >On your chest is what you think is a dragon scale.
  3499. >In fact, you're pretty sure your glaive is dragon bone.
  3500. >You're helmet, as well as the plates for your arms and legs, were stitched together geemer shell.
  3501. >That glaive was the only thing that could cut the stuff, so making the full suit was a pain.
  3502. >On your right gauntlet, a series of claws were lined up to function as punch enhancers.
  3503. >There's a word for that, but punch enhancer sounds better.
  3504. >There were various leathers for padding and stuff for intimidation.
  3505. >You had ground up some herbs to make a basic paint, giving yourself some camo.
  3506. >You pull on the structure, making Grande stop at the edge of the school.
  3507. >"Behold the encroaching fury of the mighty timberwolf king! None who see it leave with their lives!"
  3508. >You furrow your brow.
  3509. "King?"
  3510. >Grande was tough, but he was not King tier.
  3511. >No.
  3512. >Ponies just have different names for stuff.
  3513. >You shake off Trixies words before tapping your left foot.
  3514. "Pack: ambush prep."
  3515. >You hold on tighter as Grande glows a bright green, before exploding into a whirlwind of timber.
  3516. >There's some screaming as you're pulled into a certain point of the new forest.
  3517. >You can feel the changes already.
  3518. >Heavy, humid air that was hard to breath.
  3519. >It pushed and pulled, as if in the lungs of some great beast.
  3520. >Henson should be using New Jim to keep this extra heavy canopy up.
  3521. >Speaking of Henson, the wolf sat up with you, his form slowly changing to fit your needs.
  3522. >A pair of eyes glowed from him and in the leaves across from him, allowing him to see your orders.
  3523. >Once you look down, you see that almost no light was entering the killbox-
  3524. >Arena!
  3525. >The arena where the foals, Cheerilee, and your girls were huddled.
  3526. >Foliage and trees had overtaken the playground, making it look like it had been abandoned.
  3527. >Altogether, this looked very familiar.
  3528. >"See now, what horrors the Everfree holds for any who enter!"
  3529. >Trixie can do some work when she feels like it and you had only gave her one order.
  3530. >Roll with it.
  3531. >You look around, plotting a course towards them.
  3532. >"This isn't the Everfree! This is just some sticks thrown around by another bunch of sticks."
  3533. >Is that pink one dissing your boys?
  3534. >You leap from branch to branch, the second pair of eyes blinking in and out of existence to follow.
  3535. >"And why exactly are we being harassed like this? I-"
  3536. >You come to a stop above Starlight, bringing a bundle of leaves to your throat.
  3537. "Because there is a problem."
  3538. >You have a good view of the group, that pink one in particular, jumping in surprise as random trees broadcast your voice.
  3539. "Word around town is that some of you are interested in the woods. I'm going to show you why you shouldn't be."
  3540. >You would usually use the voice thing to fuck with the more sound sensitive monsters.
  3541. >Stuff without eyes or too many ears.
  3542. >You could also mimic some of the Kings, sending some bigger threats scrambling.
  3543. >Starlight starts to look around.
  3544. >"Anon? Where are you?"
  3545. >You smile, giving the bunch of leaves a squeeze as you point with two fingers at a tree behind the group.
  3546. "Here."
  3547. >The group whips around as you jump down, using a vine to slow your fall.
  3548. >The flurry of wood being mashed around where you pointed, as well as some screaming, covers up any sound of you snatching up Star.
  3549. >You press her against your smooth chest plate, keeping a hand over her mouth to stifling any attempt to scream.
  3550. >And judging by her thrashing, she was certainly trying to.
  3551. >You roll your eyes as you're yanked back up into the canopy.
  3552. >You let her wear herself out as you watch the group settle down.
  3553. >"Look upon the horrors of the Everfree! Such wickedness shall devour your very soul!"
  3554. >Cheerilee starts looking around.
  3555. >"Are we missing anypony? Wait, what happened to Starlight?!"
  3556. >The panicking returns in full force.
  3557. >The girl (should you still call her a mare?) in question has finally ceased her struggling and is now glaring at you.
  3558. >You shrug.
  3559. "What?"
  3560. >She glares harder.
  3561. "Do you want something? Speak up."
  3562. >It's funny because she can't.
  3563. >Stars glare finally eases up as you remove your hand.
  3564. >"What the buck is this?"
  3565. >You hold her closer as the kids panicking reduces a bit.
  3566. "Something ominous."
  3567. >Starlight frowns as you grab the vine.
  3568. >"What?"
  3569. "Sorry I didn't plan a speech or anything, so I thought I'd just say something ominous."
  3570. >"You caAAAAAAAAA-"
  3571. >THUD
  3572. >You land heavily, the vine slowing your fall just barely.
  3573. >No one makes a sound as you stride over to the group, Starlight still held tight against you.
  3574. >"I can trot just fine you know."
  3575. "No you can't."
  3576. >"I-"
  3577. "It's called walking when you have two legs."
  3578. >She takes in a deep breath before slowly letting it out.
  3579. >"Today's going to be one of those days, isn't it?"
  3580. >You keep your voice low as you approach the kids.
  3581. "You have no idea."
  3582. >She grumbles slightly as you set her down.
  3583. >Trixie walks between you and the crowd.
  3584. >"See this vicious predator and know your doom!"
  3585. >Most of the kids look nervous.
  3586. >Some seem excited, but Cheerilee looks like she's about ready to murder you with her eyes.
  3587. >You will deal with the consequences eventually.
  3588. "No...I am not the one who brings doom."
  3589. >You pull your glaive off of your back and try to summon forth your inner edge-lord.
  3590. "I draw blood. I give blood. To my throne I bring the skulls of my enemies, from which blood poors eternal."
  3591. >You slam the glaive into the dirt while holding the other hand towards the trees.
  3592. "If you want to see your doom, you must see the pack."
  3593. >You snap with your open hand.
  3594. >There is no noise as four wolves drop into position around you.
  3595. >Boyle was probably close by, entranced by your edgy bullshit.
  3596. >Usually you'd wear something down before boxing it in, but today you're just putting on a show.
  3597. >You motion to Hendrix, who starts to play.
  3598. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jyq8-fmmvq4
  3599. "I use this song as a lure. Once that wolf starts playing, something would usually start following. The song is called Stairway to Heaven. I always thought it was fitting because whenever something would reach the end, it would die."
  3600. >Ow, the edge.
  3601. >This might be harder than you thought.
  3602. >You hope you don't have to do this for too long.
  3603. >The kids looking uneasy gives you hope.
  3604. >Applebloom slowly raises a hoof.
  3605. >"Um, mister Anon? Ah've seen some'a these before, and mah sister talks 'bout 'em. Them wolves always had a right awful stink to 'em while these don't. What's with that?"
  3606. >You nod, making you realize that you can get some proper fasteners for this helmet now.
  3607. "That's because of the way they eat. They do not have stomachs like us, so they simply plant themselves in the ground. The problem is they need more than plants do to sustain themselves. So a pack will go out, make a kill, and soak the ground in it's flesh and blood."
  3608. >Star and Trixie give each other sideways looks as Cheerilee looks ready to charge.
  3609. >The kids, at the very least, are starting to look uneasy.
  3610. "When I discovered this, I took it upon myself to improve them. I buried what meat I did not or could not eat. This improved the smell immensely, since they were no longer sitting in rotten corpses."
  3611. >You think you understand Pinkie now.
  3612. >Smiles are much more fun than this.
  3613. >Did you just say you understand Pinkie?
  3614. >You'd say you might be going crazy, but you know you're well past that point.
  3615. >Trixie flourishes her cape.
  3616. >"Yes, altogether they are terrifying beasts!"
  3617. "Absolutely. Remember kids, always watch out for nasty surprises."
  3618. >You grab Starlights hand, pulling her away from the kids.
  3619. >"Whoakay, what are we doing?"
  3620. >You pull her hand out and shove the glaive into it.
  3621. >"Nope!"
  3622. >She tries to push it back at you, only for you to grab her shoulder and pull her close.
  3623. >You lean down, speaking softly.
  3624. "Starlight, do you remember this morning when you tried to break Trixies nose?"
  3625. >She may no longer have four legs, but she sure does look like a deer in the headlights right now.
  3626. "I don't want you two getting into fights over me."
  3627. >"It was an honest accident."
  3628. >She can barely squeak the words out.
  3629. >You give her shoulder a squeeze and step back.
  3630. "You forgot the pillows too."
  3631. >She looks over to the waiting wolves and then back to you.
  3632. >"So you're going to feed me to them for that?"
  3633. >You shake your head.
  3634. "I never said they were joining this fight."
  3635. >You don't bother to watch her reaction as you turn back to the crowd, pulling out your fan.
  3636. "Starlight has come to the forest for power, wealth, or glory. She has followed the song and found herself here. Being a monster of the forest, I will defeat her using only this."
  3637. >There's some giggling as you wave your weapon.
  3638. >You were planning on fighting the kokiri yourself, but this might get the point across better.
  3639. >You're actually pretty happy you have your armor on.
  3640. >Not for Star, she won't get a hit in.
  3641. >You're worried that Cheerilee is going to charge you and beat the shit out of you when things finally get going.
  3642. >May as well go all in.
  3643. "Oh, but before we start, do you guys want to see something cool?"
  3644. >General cheers and a pony growling can be heard.
  3645. >You should buy Cheerilee a drink after this.
  3646. >You turn over to Dean, who was wagging his tail furiously, and point at one of the barriers.
  3647. "Wood chipper!"
  3648. >It takes him a second, but eventually his head explodes, making the kids scream.
  3649. >The wood is brought back into a vertical spinning motion, seconds before he charges one of the arenas walls.
  3650. >The sound of grinding wood and children screaming is the only sound that can be heard for a few of seconds.
  3651. >Huh
  3652. >He's usually faster than this.
  3653. >Wonder if you can give him titanium tipped teeth.
  3654. >Maybe you can bug Rarity and get diamond tipped teeth for all of them.
  3655. >Then they'd be bling wolves.
  3656. >The sound stops and Dean can be seen in a you sized hole, tail back to its usual speed and head back to normal.
  3657. "Good boy!"
  3658. >You turn back to the very wide eyed class.
  3659. "Always watch out for nasty surprises."
  3660. >A spot of light appears on the ground as Trixie grabs Deans question mark gem.
  3661. >She was probably right about you being paranoid, but you can't help but think they're trackers.
  3662. >She puts the gem in her hat and walks up to you.
  3663. >"Anonymous, are you sure about fighting Starlight? Trixie does not want to see you hurt."
  3664. >You crouch down and-
  3665. >...
  3666. >You can't pet the pony with armor on.
  3667. >You're too pokey.
  3668. >You need better armor immediately.
  3669. "She won't get a hit in."
  3670. >She does her best to keep the act up, but you can tell she's nervous.
  3671. >"Exactly how durable is that stuff you're wearing?"
  3672. "She won't get through it."
  3673. >That's true for the dragon scale, so you're technically not lying.
  3674. >She wriggles around for a moment before poking a hoof into your chestplate.
  3675. >"If she hurts you, Trixie will have words with her."
  3676. >You poke her back.
  3677. "She won't. Enjoy the show."
  3678. >She grumbles as you turn and start walking away.
  3679. >You set your gaze on Starlight, who does not seem excited at the thought of potentially stabbing her boyfriend.
  3680. >You knew she was a good person.
  3681. >But she still has quite the temper.
  3682. >"Anon, I really don't want to-"
  3683. >BAP
  3684. >"Ow! Don't-"
  3685. >BAPBAP
  3686. >"Hey, let's just-"
  3687. >BAPBAPBAP
  3688. "C'mon, Glims. You can do it!"
  3689. >Giggling can be heard from behind you.
  3690. >That's fine.
  3691. >The kokiri will drop soon.
  3692. >"That hurts!"
  3693. "Does Glimmy need kisses for her boo-boos?"
  3694. >A flurry of paper rains down from all sides.
  3695. >Star swivels the glaive around, trying to fend you off.
  3696. >This just makes her hands an easier target.
  3697. >"Ow Anon STOP YOU BU-"
  3698. >You swing around just in time to catch the word.
  3699. >BAPBAPBAP
  3700. "Language."
  3701. >What?
  3702. >You may be trying to traumatize these kids, but you won't have Star teach them new words.
  3703. >"Okay, FINE! You want a fight I'll give you a fight!"
  3704. >BAP
  3705. >She screams in frustration as she hefts her weapon.
  3706. "That's a good girl! Oh, who's a good girl? You are, yes, you are!"
  3707. >She still has a bit of trouble, since she's not as strong as you and that thing was kind of heavy.
  3708. >Plus, she probably wasn't used to using hands and stuff yet.
  3709. >You start stepping back as Starlight lifts the glaive over her head and...
  3710. >Spins.
  3711. >God damnit.
  3712. >You need to stop her before the howl starts.
  3713. >You sigh as you think of ways to do so.
  3714. >The worst part?
  3715. >You're pretty sure she doesn't realize what she's doing.
  3716. >She's just going full Palpatine.
  3717. >She's even doing the autistic screeching.
  3718. >You time the spin and step into it.
  3719. >THUNK
  3720. >The blunt end hits the scale, knocking the air out of you but leaving you fine otherwise.
  3721. >"Gah, what-"
  3722. >BAPBAP
  3723. >Starlight screams again as she lunges at you.
  3724. >You smile as you dodge.
  3725. >The glaive was a great weapon, but boy did it announce every single movement, allowing you to look over to the kids.
  3726. >Now Trixie looks like she's going to charge.
  3727. >Kind of wish you had said something different to her, but you really didn't think Star would get a hit.
  3728. >You had thought of just spinning the glaive up to full speed for the class, but just as quickly tossed the idea.
  3729. >It could have...side effects.
  3730. >You hop as Starlight does a low sweep.
  3731. >She grunts in frustration as you turn back to face her.
  3732. "You having trouble there, Glim-Glam?"
  3733. >"When I get you I'm going to-"
  3734. >BAP
  3735. >Starlight eye starts to twitch as she brings the blunt end to bear.
  3736. >She's been pretty good about just using that side.
  3737. >You doubt ponies would be affected by the glaives other stuff, but you weren't testing that on kids.
  3738. >Since you're a responsible adult.
  3739. >Pfft
  3740. >You take a step to the right before looking at the kids.
  3741. "Wow! Glimmer almost got me that time."
  3742. >There's mostly concern and confusion on the kids faces.
  3743. >You turn back to Star.
  3744. >She looks angry.
  3745. >BAP
  3746. >She looks angrier.
  3747. >That's good.
  3748. >"ANON SO HELP ME IF YOU BU-"
  3749. >BAPBAPBAPBAPBAPBAPBAP
  3750. "Language."
  3751. >Holy shit, she has the neck vein when she's like this too!
  3752. >You need to show Trixie.
  3753. >But for now...
  3754. >You put a hand up, causing a vine to grab it and pull you upwards.
  3755. >"ANON! GET BACK DOWN HERE AND FIGHT ME YOU-"
  3756. >THUD
  3757. >The first kokiri pod hits the ground, shutting her up.
  3758. >Three more slam into the ground around her as you start to wriggle out of your armor, handing each piece to Hensons modified form.
  3759. >"W-what're those?"
  3760. >You stop pulling off armor to put a bundle of leaves to your throat.
  3761. "I call them kokiri, my dear Starlight, for they are the children of the forest."
  3762. >The first one starts to 'hatch' and the next three follow suit as you resume outfitting Henson.
  3763. >There is a snapping of wood from below, making you turn to watch.
  3764. >You always loved this.
  3765. >The first one twitches to life, slowly rising to its feet.
  3766. >The pods would shift into the full form, but you could give them stuff before they dropped.
  3767. >You had given each pod a dozen fans and some newspapers, making two of them look like odd birds with newspaper arms, while one had fan claws, and the last had a kind of sword made from the fans with a newspaper core.
  3768. >They looked a good deal like you in armor, just hunched over and with a larger torso.
  3769. >There was rarely a need for something so drastic, but boy were these fun.
  3770. >It takes a little while for them to get on their feet, so they usually had to be deployed away from any fighting.
  3771. >Here though, you're simply putting on a show.
  3772. >"Anon, what in Tartarus are these things?!"
  3773. >The fully suited Henson gets a pat and promptly drops among the other humanoid tree beasts.
  3774. >Without the vine slowing him down, the wood and armor hit much harder.
  3775. >Starlight whips around to face 'you'.
  3776. >Your helmet had a very small visor, meaning she couldn't see you weren't in it.
  3777. >The two floating eyes turn to one as Henson shifts his magic.
  3778. >You grab a bunch of leaves and point towards your armor, which was slowly marching towards Starlight as it spun a glaive made of the paper fans with a newspaper core.
  3779. >Your voice comes out of your armor as Starlight raises her weapon.
  3780. "I told you already, Starlight. They are the children of the forest."
  3781. >You let go of the leaves before making a clenching motion with your left hand.
  3782. >All five of the golems charge, leaving Starlight no other option than to truly fight.
  3783. >Fans, newspaper, and glaive fly in a flurry as Starlight fights to defend herself.
  3784. >Today will be remembered as B-Day.
  3785. >The B stands for BAP.
  3786. >...
  3787. >Four kokiri was too much.
  3788. >CRACK
  3789. >Oh shit, she actually got one!
  3790. >That's not too surprising.
  3791. >They shouldn't have been done.
  3792. >But maybe Henson's going easy on her.
  3793. >You take a closer look and see that one of the newspaper arms is still going, just legless now.
  3794. >It starts swinging an arm, smacking at her legs.
  3795. >"AH! WHAT PIT IN TARTARUS DID YOU DRAG THESE THINGS OUT OF?!"
  3796. >You look over to the class, who were huddled tightly as they watched the fight.
  3797. >You could freak them out a bit more.
  3798. >You grab the leaves and make a broad motion, making everything wooden project your voice.
  3799. "They're really not that bad, Starlight."
  3800. >You chuckle into the leaves as the kids start to really freak out.
  3801. "At least compared to some of the other stuff. How many of you thought of entering that forest?"
  3802. >'Your' back was turned to the kids, so when you asked a couple of eyes try to pop out of their skulls.
  3803. >You check back on Star every now and then, but watch the kids grow increasingly nervous.
  3804. >Cheerilee is currently trying to bore holes into the back of your helmet.
  3805. >Henson was actually too small to properly use it, so he just had some sticks hold it in place.
  3806. >...
  3807. >A small purple horse was angrily staring at a wooden wolf disguised as you.
  3808. >This place was weird.
  3809. >Much better than the forest though.
  3810. >Star parrys a swing from Hensons glaive, using the energy to swing at the nearest kokiri.
  3811. >She jabs the sharp end into the kokiri behind her, throwing it back and allowing her to get out of the bap frenzy.
  3812. >You think back to when you had first seen those six girls come up to you.
  3813. >Naturally, you were skeptical upon seeing them but...
  3814. >You're happy they had dragged you out here.
  3815. >Twilight especially.
  3816. >You should do something for them.
  3817. >You watch as the group follows after Star.
  3818. >That kokiri may not have legs, but it sure is fast.
  3819. >CRACK
  3820. >Damn, Star actually finished it off.
  3821. >Either that, or Henson's making it play dead.
  3822. >Even with no head and one arm, a kokiri can still bring down some big stuff.
  3823. >Actually...
  3824. >You smile and speak aloud to the trees.
  3825. "Bobbo: Dozer."
  3826. >Henson relays the message without the ponys hearing it.
  3827. >The twins look at each other for only a second before charging at the hole Dean made.
  3828. >Dean clears out before they start ripping up the wood and sawdust.
  3829. >A moment later, Dozer steps out of the much larger hole, looking as mean as he looks happy.
  3830. >Coming up to the middle of your chest, you can't imagine the kids are enjoying the new sight.
  3831. >Starlight certainly isn't.
  3832. >"ANON!"
  3833. >You pull the leaves back and point to your armor.
  3834. "Relax, Dozer just needs to finish off that kokiri."
  3835. >You release the leaves and take a look.
  3836. >Dozer currently resembled a log on legs with wooden platemail and had an underbite big enough to make an orc jealous.
  3837. >The gems were crossed over eachother to form an X, which you need to give them some kind of treat for because of how awesome it looks.
  3838. >Altogether, he was heavy, clunky, and that tail could do serious damage.
  3839. >Dozer slams the flail into the ground before issuing a challenging howl.
  3840. >The kokiri on the ground snaps its neck stub up and returns the challenge, its scream sounding half human and entirely wrong.
  3841. >Two more break off of Star, making their way towards Dozer while the crippled one tries to do the same.
  3842. >Stars fight is much easier now, now that Henson has to focus on an actual fight.
  3843. >Dozer charges, his tail smashing the crippled kokiri as he continues towards the other two.
  3844. >A wooden sword and claws drop from the trees, taking place of the paper ones.
  3845. >You had actually planned on fighting them fully armed, but then you dragged Star along.
  3846. >Sawdust swarms from Dozer like a hive of angry hornets.
  3847. >The clawed kokiri dances through the attacking dust, the other one instantly having a hole bored through its chest.
  3848. >This isn't what you wanted.
  3849. >You should probably stop this.
  3850. >The clawed kokiri latches onto Dozers back, getting some hits in before Dozer hits himself with his tail.
  3851. >The crippled kokiri starts to glow.
  3852. >Nah, you're going to let this play out.
  3853. >If this doesn't teach the kids to stay out of the forest, nothing will.
  3854. >Dozer tracks Claws, allowing Sword to cut his tail off, only to be kicked in half for its trouble.
  3855. >You, they weren't done.
  3856. >They could easily take a hit like that normally.
  3857. >Claws issues a challenge this time, getting Dozers attention.
  3858. >He growls before dropping the sawdust, which had started to turn red in his green glow.
  3859. >For some reason, wood wolves set wood on fire if they do cool stuff too much.
  3860. >Maybe that's tied into why they're warm.
  3861. >A moment later, they're both running full tilt towards eachother.
  3862. >Dozer, despite his weight, tries to pounce while the kokiri slides under him, claws slashing at his legs.
  3863. >He turns around to face Claws, only to jump in place before looking down.
  3864. >The crippled, glowing kokiri was ready and holding onto Dozer.
  3865. >The other two were charging.
  3866. >You giggle to yourself.
  3867. >Claws and sword slash out, cutting out Dozers legs and making him collapse on the glowing kokiri.
  3868. >A bright glow can be seen under him before a muffled explosion rings out, sending him into the canopy.
  3869. >You cover your mouth and start giggling like a jackass.
  3870. >Perfect.
  3871. >Ten out of ten.
  3872. >Would scar these kids again.
  3873. >Starlight had defeated her kokiri at some point.
  3874. >Henson wasn't moving, probably too busy running the kokiri kick assery.
  3875. >Star's probably losing her shit, as shown by her still beating the dead kokiri.
  3876. >Oh, she is totally going to lose it when she finds out Henson was in your place.
  3877. >You reposition yourself to be behind the kids before grabbing a bundle of leaves.
  3878. "Like I said, watch out for nasty surprises."
  3879. >You jump down, tucking into a roll behind the class.
  3880. >Some try to bolt, only for Boyle to jump down as well to keep them in place.
  3881. >Dozers wood lands on the other side, blocking another escape.
  3882. >You look over to Star, who stopped her stabbing to look between you and Henson.
  3883. "Starlight, can you give Henson my glaive?"
  3884. >A very shaky Starlight slowly offers the weapon, which Henson takes.
  3885. "C'mere, Star. Pack: kokiri cleanup!"
  3886. >The two kokiri that were fighting Dozer instantly move to Henson.
  3887. >Dozer slowly rebuilds himself as Henson starts to spin the glaive, Starlight practically sprinting towards you.
  3888. >The kids start to freak out as the sound hits, but Henson knows the sweet spot for the glaive.
  3889. >He angles the blunt end towards the ground, running it in a circular motion around him.
  3890. >CLACKCLACKCLACK
  3891. >FWOOSH
  3892. >Starlight trips over herself as the blade explodes into flame.
  3893. >She watches from the ground as Henson continues the spin, executing the gathered kokiri with the burning blade.
  3894. >He makes sure they're completely destroyed before ceasing the spin, which puts out the blades flames.
  3895. >A moment later, Dozer comes over and stomps out the embers with his flail tail.
  3896. >Hehe
  3897. >The forest is putting out forest fires.
  3898. >You look to the kids and clear your throat, getting their attention.
  3899. "I'm planning a hunting trip. Any of you that want to go, stay here. Any that want to stay in your safe, warm houses, get back to class."
  3900. >You snap at Dozer before pointing at the wall behind you.
  3901. >He happily charges the barricade, breaking it down and revealing the school.
  3902. "I will also bring cookies to everyone that goes back to class."
  3903. >Within half a minute, the entire class had poured back into the safety of the school.
  3904. >You chuckle to yourself as Cheerilee marches up to you.
  3905. >"I would appreciate it if you would clean this up."
  3906. >You can tell she's trying her best not to blow up at you.
  3907. "After school. The trees are actually planted, so I need to fill in the holes so the kids don't fall in. I will fill in the crater now, at least."
  3908. >She nods slowly.
  3909. >"That's fair. We will have words later, Anonymous."
  3910. >You nod back, ignoring the sound of Henson exploding out of your armor.
  3911. "Like I said before, better scared than dead."
  3912. >She focuses on her breathing for a moment before marching towards the school.
  3913. >"I imagine we'll both have to answer to some very upset fathers soon...Could you bring oatmeal raisin?"
  3914. >You smile.
  3915. "Of course! I was actually planning on bringing a variety pack kind of thing. Towards the end of the school day, of course. Don't need to deal with those kids on sugar, right?"
  3916. >She stares at you for a moment before continuing towards the school.
  3917. >"You are something else, Anonymous."
  3918. >You smile and turn around, facing your girls.
  3919. "How cool was that?!"
  3920. ----------
  3921. >Star was mad at you.
  3922. >That's fair.
  3923. >Trixie was mad at her.
  3924. >You'd say that's odd, but Trix can be a little overprotective and she was just upset about that one hit you took.
  3925. >You tried to tell her you were never in the suit, but you don't think she was buying it.
  3926. >Star stomped off to take a shower while Trix stayed with you to help clean up.
  3927. >The two of you filled in the small crater in no time.
  3928. >Afterwards came the waiting since you couldn't go home and needed to wait for school to end so you could remove the trees.
  3929. >You kind of wanted a shower too, but Star was angry and had hands so you weren't getting near her naked.
  3930. >The two of them never intentionally hurt you, but with them being head height with your junk stuff happened.
  3931. >Sometimes fun stuff.
  3932. >Once school let out, the trees were ripped up and hauled back to the castle.
  3933. >Twi might not be happy about the sudden gardening stunt, but the next thing that attacks town will get fucked up.
  3934. >You stowed your armor in a tree and made your way back to the school, Trixie and the boys in tow.
  3935. >Once you got there, you filled in the holes and found something you forgot.
  3936. >The two of you made your way to the boutique before making use of the forgotten item while waiting on Star.
  3937. >"Oh, this is simply wonderful, Anonymous. Look at them! We should paint the ones Henson is wearing so-"
  3938. >You pat Trixie on the back, happy that she's no longer upset.
  3939. "What does he not look enough like you already?"
  3940. >You can't really read Henson right now, what with the hat he's wearing.
  3941. >Said hat being made out of discarded fans and the cape was made out of newspaper.
  3942. >His gem was moved to his chest to match Trixies, keeping the cape in place.
  3943. >The hat didn't have the hook like hers, but it was pretty close considering he was just using his magic to hold it in place.
  3944. >Most of the others received a similar treatment.
  3945. >Boyle got paper fan angry eyebrows.
  3946. >Bob and Bo got matching mustaches.
  3947. >Dean got a lions mane kind of thing, finishing off the fans since Hendrix wouldn't let you put any on him.
  3948. >Probably didn't want you to ruin his 'vibe'.
  3949. >New Jim got nothing.
  3950. >He still needs to earn his name.
  3951. >Trixie turns to face you.
  3952. >"Of course not. All things in this realm are Trixies and if Trixie wishes to paint Henson, she will do so."
  3953. >You gesture towards the caped wolf.
  3954. "Well, go ahead."
  3955. >She looks between you and Henson for a moment.
  3956. >Henson does nothing but stare at her.
  3957. >A second later, Trixie moves to sit against the boutique.
  3958. >"Trixie will do so later."
  3959. >You chuckle as you slide down the wall next to her.
  3960. >Both of you sit there for a moment, enjoying the cool weather.
  3961. "I told Star to meet us here so-"
  3962. >You're interrupted by Trixie nuzzling you.
  3963. >You try to rub her neck with her head moving about.
  3964. >"Were you really not in that armor?"
  3965. >This little horse.
  3966. >Such a big softy.
  3967. "I was perfectly safe the entire time."
  3968. >That was technically true.
  3969. >She sighs before getting one last nuzzle in.
  3970. >"Were you normally like that? In the forest, I mean."
  3971. "Nah, the boys were just playing."
  3972. >She shivers, making you hold her tighter.
  3973. >You sit there in silence for a moment, enjoying the moment of peace.
  3974. >It doesn't last for long as something catches your eye.
  3975. >Starlight, head held high and not in pride, was making her way towards you.
  3976. >She stumbles around a bit, and you can't tell if it was because she couldn't see or the alcohol was taking effect.
  3977. >She leans her head back a bit more, getting the last few drops as she reaches you.
  3978. >You can feel Trixie tense up as she swings the bottle down.
  3979. >"I think I got the non-alcoholic...No."
  3980. >Star was pointing at Henson while checking out the other wolves.
  3981. >"Take those fans off-"
  3982. >"You do not get a say in what Anonymous does! You tried to hurt him!"
  3983. >Both you and Starlight are taken back by Trixie outburst.
  3984. >It doesn't take long for Star to recover.
  3985. >"He wasn't even-"
  3986. >"That does not matter! We are mares Starlight! We protect our stallion! We do not let our tempers get ahold of us and hurt him. You were supposed to simply act the part, not actually hit him."
  3987. >Star throws her free hand up.
  3988. >"He pissed me off!"
  3989. >Trixie growls.
  3990. >"Trixie is sure many mares say the same when their stallion is in the hospital."
  3991. >Starlights mouth works for a moment.
  3992. >She looks at the bottle in her hand before looking back at you two.
  3993. >"Y-yeah. I should just...I'll just-"
  3994. >DEFCON: fuckfuckfuckfuck!
  3995. >You scoop Trixie up and run after Star, who had started to turn away.
  3996. "Hey, hey, hey. Nobody got hurt, I'm fine. The only reason-uh-Henson stopped you from spinning that thing was because of that freaky magic stuff."
  3997. >Star blinks.
  3998. >"Oh, um-"
  3999. >Trixie growls again.
  4000. >"One would think that with your prowess in the arcane, you would be more cautious when using magical artifacts."
  4001. >"W-well...at least I would have an idea how to use them, miss Alicorn Amulet!"
  4002. >Trixie gasps and you put a hand over her mouth before she can say anything.
  4003. "Okay, look! I pushed Stars buttons. I knew she had a temper and I used that. Nobody got hurt and those kids are probably scared shitless of that forest now. If you two want to be mad at anybody, be mad at me."
  4004. >You remove your hand from Trixies mouth as Star shoves a finger at you.
  4005. >"I can be angry enough to be mad at both of you, don't worry about that."
  4006. >Her glare lessens as she deflates slightly.
  4007. >"But I'd really rather not be. So help me Anon, you are going to make this up to me."
  4008. >You step forward, wrapping her in a hug and positioning Trixie so she can do the same.
  4009. "I will. And I'm sorry. It's been awhile since I've used those, so I kind of forgot what they were like."
  4010. >Trixie reaches out and tries to put Star into a strangle hold.
  4011. >"That one exploded. How did you forget that?"
  4012. >Star tries to shove the grabby hooves away as she looks at you.
  4013. >"Also, can we talk about you using explosives next to children? Because that's pretty bad, even for us."
  4014. >You shrug as Trixie finally latches on.
  4015. "It's no worse than you. You blew up at least three times last week in that school. Literally."
  4016. >You let go of Trixie, making Star stumble back from the extra weight.
  4017. >"Gah, you little-get off of me!"
  4018. >"No! You shall apologize to Anonymous and then you shall polish Trixies hooves!"
  4019. >"Buck you! I am not polishing those grubby little-"
  4020. >Her next words are cut off as Trixie starts to squeeze.
  4021. >"You shall apologize or face the consequences."
  4022. >Now that they're bickering they can't actually be mad.
  4023. >All according to thingy.
  4024. >Starlight starts to slap at Trixies back.
  4025. >"Did you three need something?"
  4026. >You turn around to see Rarity, looking rather confused.
  4027. "Yes, actually. Since Star might be like this for awhile-"
  4028. >You gesture over to her, who you're pretty sure is trying to give Trixie a purple pony nurple if the screaming is anything to go by.
  4029. "-she needs a set of clothes."
  4030. >She looks between you and the struggling pair.
  4031. >"Are they-"
  4032. "They need to get it out of their system. Plus it makes 'em real quiet. But since we have business I guess we need to get moving."
  4033. >You step over to the pair and try to pull Trixie away.
  4034. >As expected, she's dug herself in.
  4035. >May as well make it quick.
  4036. >You wrap an arm around her belly, the other hand reaching towards Stars ear.
  4037. >You simultaneously bite down on Trixies ear and tug Starlights.
  4038. >There's a great deal of whining from the two as you finally pull them apart.
  4039. >You hold Trixie tightly against your chest, her front legs dangling over your arms.
  4040. >"Trixie was not done with her. She needed to learn her place."
  4041. >Starlight rubs her ear as she looks at you.
  4042. >"What was all that about not wanting us to fight over you? Why didn't you step in earlier?"
  4043. "Trixie actually got hurt this morning. Plus, you two were just wrestling. Now let's get you some clothes."
  4044. >It doesn't matter what she looks like, Star always has the cutest grumpy faces.
  4045. >"Yes, yes! Come now, I am very excited to experiment on the female form of a human!"
  4046. >Star groans at Raritys words.
  4047. >"Oh great. I'm being experimented on now. And Twilights not even here."
  4048. "Pack: plant 'em. Think of it this way, Star. You get to feel another horn poking you for once."
  4049. >Rarity sputters as the wolves take position around the boutique before turning into bushes, New Jim taking an extra second as usual.
  4050. >"Darling, please do not be so crass."
  4051. "Of course, darling."
  4052. >Rarity stops just before the door before slowly turning to face you.
  4053. >"We've been over this before, darling."
  4054. "Yes we have, darling. Do you want a repeat, darling?"
  4055. >"Darling."
  4056. "Darling."
  4057. >Her eyes narrow as your grin widens.
  4058. >"Very well. I have learned my lesson."
  4059. >Rarity turns around as you hold a fist up to Trixie.
  4060. >She gives it a quick bump and quietly snickers.
  4061. >'Darling Day' was tragic and absolutely hilarious and you will get another.
  4062. >For now though, clothes.
  4063. >You crouch down through the pony sized door.
  4064. >Trixie magics her hat up to the coat rack, but keeps her cape on.
  4065. >The castle was the only place with doors your size.
  4066. >You wonder if-
  4067. >THUNK
  4068. >Yep.
  4069. >Star's too tall for these doors also.
  4070. >You turn around to see her staring at the ground, hand on her head.
  4071. >"Anon, can I swear now?"
  4072. >Before you can answer, Rarity floats a pillow over to her.
  4073. >"Use this. I always scream into this pillow when I feel stressed."
  4074. >Star nods at her as the bottle is magically taken from her.
  4075. >She shoves the pillow into her face and starts screaming.
  4076. >Trixie looks up at you.
  4077. >"She saw you crouch down. Why did she not-"
  4078. >You boop her into silence.
  4079. "It's time to be nice."
  4080. >She grumbles as you set her down.
  4081. >You walk over to Star and grab her by the shoulders.
  4082. >She's still screaming, so you just let her let it all out.
  4083. >It takes a little bit, but eventually she pulls away the pillow and looks up to you.
  4084. >"I hate everything."
  4085. >You slowly lean down and kiss the spot which was starting to turn red.
  4086. "Do you hate me?"
  4087. >She wraps her arms around you, allowing you to do the same.
  4088. >"No, I'm just upset with you."
  4089. >You nod, running a hand over the growing lump.
  4090. "That's fair. Do you really want me to take the fans away from the wolves?"
  4091. >She shakes her head.
  4092. >"No, I really like the twins with the mustaches. I was just upset at seeing all of that."
  4093. "I know we're not great at this Star, but that's exactly why we have to talk to eachother."
  4094. >She jabs you in the side.
  4095. >"What happened today was not talking, Anon."
  4096. "I was emphasizing how bad we are at this."
  4097. >Her eyes slowly inch up to meet yours.
  4098. >"Buck you, you hairless health hazard."
  4099. >You grin at her.
  4100. "That could describe either of us right now."
  4101. >You stare at eachother for a moment before you both start laughing.
  4102. >Trixie nuzzles both of your legs a second later.
  4103. >"Trixie supposes she overreacted as well."
  4104. >Two hands reach down to scratch at each of her ears.
  4105. >"You tried to strangle me, you brawny blue beanbag."
  4106. >Trixie nods.
  4107. >"Yes and Trixie will probably do it again."
  4108. >"I am going to buck you up when I get my magic back."
  4109. >Trixie grins up at Star.
  4110. >"Bring it."
  4111. "Just remember, the loser gets a massage."
  4112. >Both heads snap over to you before they return to look back at eachother.
  4113. >"You are so kicking my flank."
  4114. >"No you-"
  4115. >"Ahem."
  4116. >The three of you turn.
  4117. >Rarity was waiting next to the pedestal, supplies in...
  4118. >You're just going to go with hand since you have no idea of the proper terminology for magic grabby stuff.
  4119. >She had a small smile as she pointed towards the pedestal.
  4120. >"If you three are done, I would appreciate it if you would stand up here, Starlight. Preferably with your clothes off."
  4121. >Oh
  4122. >Well, she's a professional so you'll let her handle this.
  4123. >You step back as Star makes her way over, tossing her little beanie next to the stand.
  4124. >"Do I have to be on that? I think that will put me a bit close to the ceiling."
  4125. >"Nonsense! Anonymous can stand on it just fine, can't you, dar-dear?"
  4126. >You're slowly stepping away, trying to keep your eyes off of Star.
  4127. "Yep, you're good, Star. I'm just going to-"
  4128. >"Anon, can you help with this thing? I still don't get how it works."
  4129. >Your eyes flick back down to see Star in nothing but a bra.
  4130. >Damn, she can strip faster than you can.
  4131. >Wait, she still has her shoes on.
  4132. >How'd she get those skinny jeans past the shoes without pulling them off?
  4133. >She must be magic or something.
  4134. >...
  4135. >'She must be magic or something' holy shit, you must have all the disorders.
  4136. >"Less staring, more helping!"
  4137. >Whoops.
  4138. >You spin around, facing away from her.
  4139. "There's that hook thing, remember? You just have to-"
  4140. >"Just get over here and help."
  4141. "No just-"
  4142. >"All you have to do is get the thingy."
  4143. >You sigh before turning back around.
  4144. >You wish you weren't this way, but you loved the titty.
  4145. >Ass was fine too, which was good since there weren't really any tits around.
  4146. >Save for the ones you were looking at right now.
  4147. >You took no issue with the equine form.
  4148. >Honestly, when you went that long without getting laid, anything looks good.
  4149. >Almost anything.
  4150. >There's a thing in that forest that you are ninety percent sure is meant to mangle dick.
  4151. >Starlight turns in place, breasts bouncing ever so slightly.
  4152. >Raritys horn lights up as she looks at the straps.
  4153. >"Do you know what the purpose of this is, Anonymous?"
  4154. >You nod as you step forward, a bit more confident now that you probably won't pop a boner in front of Rarity.
  4155. "It's a bra. It's meant to hold her brea-erm teats up."
  4156. >Rarity watches as you undo the bra.
  4157. >It takes half a second, but it feels like an eternity.
  4158. >This must be how Trixie feels when you hold her hoof.
  4159. >"And why exactly do human mares need to hold their teats up?"
  4160. >To show off obviously.
  4161. >...
  4162. >Holy shit, you get the tuft thing now.
  4163. >You shake the thought off.
  4164. "I've been with a couple girls and they usually tell me it's for support."
  4165. >You add the bra to the pile and begin to step away.
  4166. >Star turns to face you, thankfully crossing her arms.
  4167. >"What do you mean 'support'? They're not bridges."
  4168. >You throw your hands up as you turn around.
  4169. "I don't know! I tried asking and they were all 'it should be obvious' or 'you wouldn't understand'. Hell, most conversations went like that. You girls are much better, it's like I'm dating a couple of dudes...No homo."
  4170. >"No homo."
  4171. >You snap and point a finger at Trixie, who was lounging on Raritys drama couch with a magazine.
  4172. "I'd say you get it, but I've seen the depraved acts you and Starlight do."
  4173. >She shrinks in on herself as Rarity tuts.
  4174. >"Darling, please do not discuss such things here."
  4175. >You can't help but smile.
  4176. "I was simply talking about how much they cuddle, darling. Whatever else would we be talking about, darling?"
  4177. >She's silent for a moment as both girls snicker to themselves.
  4178. >She finally lets out a long sigh as the girls stop.
  4179. >"Shall we continue the fitting?"
  4180. "Whenever you're ready, darling."
  4181. >"...Very well."
  4182. >You can hear the measuring tape flail about as you move to sit with Trixie.
  4183. >"Ow! I didn't do anything!"
  4184. >"Why, whatever are you talking about, Starlight?"
  4185. >Star grumbles as you pick Trixie up, allowing yourself to lay fully across the couch.
  4186. >Or at least as much as you could, with how small it is.
  4187. >You grunt a little as you place her on your chest.
  4188. >You wriggle around a bit, trying to get comfortable, but not able to find the spot.
  4189. >Why does your chest seem sore?
  4190. >"Anonymous, please do not make a mess on that couch. You are covered in sap and-nonono. Darling, you must let me wash your clothes."
  4191. >You and Trixie smirk at eachother.
  4192. >"And don't even start with the 'darlings'. You make a mess of my work all the time and I will not stand to see another piece of it ruined."
  4193. >You frown as Trixie snuggles deeper into you.
  4194. >"Trixie is comfortable. She does not want to move."
  4195. >Rarity flicks an ear as Star speaks up.
  4196. >"Should I put my clothes back on, Rarity? It's kind of cold in here...Do nipples normally do this?"
  4197. >"One moment, darling."
  4198. >Rarity levels her gaze on Trixie.
  4199. >"Do you know how hard it will be for me to get sap out of that couch?"
  4200. >"Trixie-"
  4201. >"How hard is it to get sap out of your cape?"
  4202. >You'd call this stare down tense, but ponies are too cute to be any kind of tense.
  4203. >"Very well. Trixie shall concede her throne. For now."
  4204. >Okay, they may be cute, but that actually sounded a little ominous.
  4205. >You should see if she can do some of Vaders lines.
  4206. >She slowly rolls onto the floor, allowing Rarity to pat at her shoulder.
  4207. >"Give me you cape, darling. I'll wash that too."
  4208. >Trixie starts to remove her cape as you stand up.
  4209. "Is this really-"
  4210. >"Absolutely, darling. Hoof it over."
  4211. >You roll your eyes as you lift the shirt up.
  4212. >You toss the thing at her, which she barely catches, and hook your thumbs into your belt loops.
  4213. "Please don't tell me you want into my pants too."
  4214. >You look at the three girls, your eyes quickly bouncing off of Star, and see a mix of odd expressions.
  4215. >Rarity looked rather grim.
  4216. >Star looked like she just hit a puppy with a bag of puppies.
  4217. >Trixie looked ready to kill someone for said puppys.
  4218. "What?"
  4219. >Trixie points at your chest.
  4220. >"How did you get that, Anonymous?"
  4221. >You look down and see-
  4222. >Oh shit.
  4223. >That's an actual bruise.
  4224. >There was a distinct shape of the dragon scale you wore imprinted into your chest.
  4225. >You had padding, sure, but you tried to go light where you could since you didn't think you'd actually be fighting.
  4226. >Fucking ponies.
  4227. >How is it they couldn't recognize scars, but they could bruise through fur?
  4228. >Okay, what do people say in situations like this?
  4229. >Um
  4230. >"Anonymous."
  4231. "I fell down some stairs."
  4232. >AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  4233. >NO!
  4234. >Bad Anon!
  4235. >Bad!
  4236. >Rarity raises a hoof to her mouth as Trixie spins to face Starlight.
  4237. >"Rarity. Would you mind watching Anonymous while Starlight and Trixie talk?"
  4238. >Trixie manages the incredible feat of speaking and grinding her teeth simultaneously.
  4239. >"Of course. Take your time."
  4240. >DEFCON: shit's fucked yo.
  4241. "Now hold on! I'm still fine, I just-"
  4242. >"Anonymous, please just stay with me for a moment."
  4243. >You look at Rarity as Trixie starts to push Star into the next room.
  4244. "I can't just let her tear Star apart for something she didn't do!"
  4245. >Her eyes flick to your chest before moving back upwards.
  4246. >"So she didn't do this?"
  4247. "Okay, she kind of did."
  4248. >One of her eyebrows goes up.
  4249. >"Kind of?"
  4250. "Well I kind of made her do it, but yeah."
  4251. >Both eyebrows are steadily rising now.
  4252. >"Do you...make her do these things often?"
  4253. "No I-God damnit, Rarity! She is not beating me!"
  4254. >Should have realized she was being too quiet.
  4255. >Probably thought Star was getting drunk and beating you after hearing Trixie tell her to apologize.
  4256. >You enjoy the special treatment sometimes, but othertimes it's too much.
  4257. >You never would have gone to a spa on Earth, but after your time in the forest it's a pretty nice place to relax with the guys.
  4258. >But if Lotus offers you one more mud bath you're kicking her out a window.
  4259. >The downside of this is having mares 'defend your honor'.
  4260. >Rarity puts a hoof on your knee.
  4261. >"There there, Anonymous. If she has been hurting you, we will have the guard here before you know it. Let me just-"
  4262. "Rarity, I swear to FUCK! If you do anything that ends up with her in jail, I'm giving your nice fabric to Jimmy Dean!"
  4263. >She purses her lips before continuing.
  4264. >"Do you-"
  4265. "No I don't know what the nice stuff is! So I'll probably just let him lick your mane. How hard is it to get sap out of your mane, darling?"
  4266. >She stares at you for a moment before sitting on the ground.
  4267. >"Very well. Let's not be too quick to act. What happened?"
  4268. >You breath a sigh of relief and open your mouth to explain.
  4269. >TING-a-LING
  4270. >"Rarity? Can we hang out in my room today? The tree house is-uh-being fumigated!"
  4271. >What are those three doing here?
  4272. >Rarity scrunches at her sisters interruption.
  4273. >"I am a little busy at the moment, Sweetie. Can't the three of you enjoy some time at the orchard?"
  4274. >"We're-uh-fumigatin' the whole orchard for the next harvest miss Rarity."
  4275. >Are they scared of trees now?
  4276. >That'd be hilarious.
  4277. >Three heads pop into the doorway, all six eyes instantly locking onto you.
  4278. >"Applebloom, what would your sister think of you telling such silly lies? Now you three get back to the orchard and have some fun...girls?"
  4279. >A grin slowly crawls across your face at the three immobile fillies.
  4280. >If you listen close enough, you can hear their silent screaming.
  4281. "Did you three forget my lesson already?"
  4282. >In unison they swallow, and in unison they speak.
  4283. >"Always watch out for nasty surprises."
  4284. >Okay, now that was real fucking creepy.
  4285. >You point towards the front of the boutique.
  4286. "You girls see my wolves out there?"
  4287. >Scootaloo and Applebloom slowly shake their heads.
  4288. >After a second, Sweeties eyes try to pop out.
  4289. >"The bushes!"
  4290. >Scootaloo starts panicking while looking towards the front door as Sweetie starts pushing the other two down the hall.
  4291. >You feel kind of bad for them, but those three were sure to try something.
  4292. >"Back door! Thanks Rarity, but we gotta go!"
  4293. >Rarity slowly turns on you once they're gone.
  4294. >"A lesson?"
  4295. "Yep."
  4296. >"...Please explain."
  4297. "Teacher lady say kids want to go in forest. Scary forest man say no."
  4298. >You are a poet of unmatched skill.
  4299. >Rarity puts a hoof up to her face.
  4300. >"Exactly how much work is Princess Luna going to have tonight?"
  4301. "Either a shit load or none at all from them not being able to sleep."
  4302. >Rarity makes a noise similar to a kettle coming to a boil.
  4303. >"Whyyyyy?"
  4304. "Because those kids were going to go into that forest because of me. I know she's your sister and I'm going to take some flak for this, but in the long run it's for the best."
  4305. >Rarity shakes her head before looking up at you.
  4306. >"I-I suppose that's reasonable. But can you please be a little more, erm..."
  4307. "Darling?"
  4308. _-_-_-_-_-_
  4309. >You are Twilight Sparkle.
  4310. >And despite having a whole pot of coffee in your system, you slept the whole day away.
  4311. >A guard had eventually woken you up, telling you dinner was ready.
  4312. >Your current plan was to eat and return to that most likely enchanted bed.
  4313. >You think you finally understand why Celestia has these guards open these doors for ponies passing through.
  4314. >It would be a nightmare trying to open these eighty thr-eighty four doors just to get dinner.
  4315. >Speaking of Nightmares.
  4316. >That wasn't nice.
  4317. >"Greetings, Twilight Sparkle."
  4318. >You nod at Princess Luna while making your way towards what you think is your seat.
  4319. "Hello, Luna."
  4320. >"Our sister will not be joining us this evening. She did, however, leave you a gift most foul."
  4321. >You quirk an eyebrow as you sit down.
  4322. "And what would that be?"
  4323. >Her horn lights up and three stacks of paper nearly as tall as you are pop into existence.
  4324. >"She has stated your interests and has bid me to deliver this wicked mess unto you. I do not understand the need for such things. If a mare has an interest in a stallion, she should simply duel the herds alpha or the stallions mother for the right. Things are far too complicated now."
  4325. >You sigh as she sets the three piles of Elysium in front of you.
  4326. "Paperwork."
  4327. >You nuzzle the closest pile of paper, wrapping your wings around the other two.
  4328. >Nothing would take you from this.
  4329. >"...You are an oddity, Sparkle."
  4330. >You don't even pull away as you respond.
  4331. "I live in Ponyville. Of course I am."
  4332. >"Hmm. Each of those stacks is an individual copy, by the way. Our sister noted how you enjoyed doing everything in triplicate."
  4333. >You lean back and take a look at the massive stacks, a little disappointed that each one is its own stack.
  4334. >You could probably stay up tonight and have them filled out, working out any issues later.
  4335. >But there's one little issue for now.
  4336. >You turn over to Luna.
  4337. "You know about them right? About him?"
  4338. >"If you wish for relationship advice, We are the last you should ask. The changes in courting are beyond us. I have yet to grasp this 'swag' as of yet."
  4339. >Don't laugh.
  4340. >Do not laugh.
  4341. >Don't do it!
  4342. "Hm-hrm! Right. It's kind of-it's just that...He's a monster from the Everfree. Maybe! There's some documentation that matches him and..."
  4343. >"You are worried about him being a roundwall rager?"
  4344. >You don't need to say anything for her to know your answer.
  4345. >"Of what We've read of those entities, they are capable builders and weapon smiths. They also seemed to know how to use both. They fortified old Ponyville-"
  4346. "Wait, that town was called Ponyville too?!"
  4347. >Luna looks momentarily bewildered.
  4348. >"But of course. Did our sister not tell you this? We thought New Ponyville was a type of memorial."
  4349. "No, she never told me the towns name and it's not in the book."
  4350. >She shakes her head, frowning in annoyance.
  4351. >"That mare is naught but schemes and cake."
  4352. >...
  4353. >You feel a need.
  4354. >A need to smack this mare.
  4355. >But she's Celestias sister so you won't.
  4356. "So that town was fortified with a long, round wall. That giving them part of their name."
  4357. >Luna nods.
  4358. >"The wall had four gates as well. The rager comes from their combat prowess. Nopony ever fought them directly, but the scouts reported their ferocity was something to behold."
  4359. >You nod.
  4360. "So this means-"
  4361. >"Abababa! Do not start with this nonsense. You'll start thinking in circles and the knives will start following a similar motion."
  4362. "...What?"
  4363. >Luna momentarily huffs before sitting up in her seat.
  4364. >"We are telling you not to overthink this. Plotting and scheming will do you no good. If you have an interest in him, be direct."
  4365. "Well I can't do that now after lying to him for so long."
  4366. >"Nonsense. Go forth, tell the truth, and demand that you be allowed to suck his cock from the alpha."
  4367. >You are happy you don't have a drink yet, otherwise it would be everywhere.
  4368. "WHAT?!"
  4369. >"You heard us. Take the cock like a big mare, Sparkle. Be sure to-"
  4370. "Changing the subject!"
  4371. >Luna shrugs her wings, a hoof covering her mouth.
  4372. >Stupid, old-timey princess.
  4373. >You expected it from those three, but Luna was a surprise.
  4374. >"Very well. You asked if We knew of him. We know some from the letters we exchange."
  4375. >That gets your attention.
  4376. "You two send eachother letters?"
  4377. >She nods as the serving ponies come out with food.
  4378. >"But of course. He is an oddity and a potential threat. It is only natural to try and understand him."
  4379. >You don't like hearing that another princess is spying on him.
  4380. >You're also proud and upset with yourself.
  4381. >Proud that you're bad at spying.
  4382. >Upset because your not keeping up with your friends activities.
  4383. >"What We have found thus far is that he has a very crude sense of humor. We enjoy it a great deal, however, as we will compete to see who can draw the best genitals."
  4384. >The serving ponies don't so much as blink as you put a hoof to your face.
  4385. "I'd be upset with you, but that is so...Anon. How do you send the letters? A bottle of dragon fire or-"
  4386. >"The post office."
  4387. >Your eyebrows pop up as a platter is laid down.
  4388. >Sending a princess mail through the post office.
  4389. >That...
  4390. >That's too normal for you.
  4391. >You're a princess who sends another princess mail through a baby dragon.
  4392. "So you know a bit about him? Thank you, ladies!"
  4393. >She nods as the serving ponies leave, one of them turning back to bow.
  4394. >"As do you."
  4395. >You take a quick sip of juice, being careful of the paperwork, before continuing.
  4396. "I guess I'm just worried about being in a herd with a monster. Or somepony who might be."
  4397. >Luna nods as she picks at a piece of egg.
  4398. >"Do you remember that incident with Glimmer? Part of the reason that happened was simply the fact that We were having breakfast twice a day. We shall still toss her in the dungeon if she comes anywhere near Us, but it was nice to clear that up. As for your fears, if he is one, all the better."
  4399. >You scrunch up just a bit.
  4400. "First, we're going to talk about friendship and-"
  4401. >"No."
  4402. >You scrunch a bit harder.
  4403. "Okay, why is it good if he is a monster?"
  4404. >"Because you would be unable to settle for any less."
  4405. >You are now pushing onto legitimate scrunch levels.
  4406. "What?"
  4407. >"You may not have seen combat like in the olden days, but neither have you led an ordinary life. You have fought and sacrificed for this nation. You will want somepony, or someONE, with a fire in their heart. That is not something you will find in todays dainty stallions. It is, however, something you will find with him. All three of them, in fact."
  4408. >You watch as Luna starts to eat her breakfast, letting you digest her words.
  4409. >You place a hoof on the center stack of paperwork.
  4410. "I guess you're right."
  4411. >"On a related note, reports state that when the Elements were returned to the Tree of Harmony, many of the more dangerous creatures delved deeper into the forest. Despite this, he emerged."
  4412. >You furrow your brow, trying to understand.
  4413. "Yes, the return of the Elements had an effect on the forests monsters, but he may be immune to it like he is to magic. So..."
  4414. >Luna gives you an annoyed look as she nibbles at a piece of hay bacon.
  4415. >"How does it go, Sparkle? If you can't take the heat..."
  4416. >The realization hits you like a freight train.
  4417. "Get out of the kitchen."
  4418. ----------
  4419. >You are still Twilight Sparkle.
  4420. >And you are furious with yourself.
  4421. >You had spent the night running through the paperwork and found only one hiccup.
  4422. >Since you couldn't sleep with how mad you were, you went to the barracks firing range.
  4423. >And you made it bigger.
  4424. >You thought dumping your mana supplies would conk you out, but nope!
  4425. >Nothing in your life is that easy.
  4426. >The last door is opened for you-
  4427. >You really do hate that.
  4428. >-and you see Celestia already at the breakfast table.
  4429. >"Good mo-Twilight? You look exhausted. What happened?"
  4430. >With absolutely no decorum, you flap you wings, tossing yourself on the table.
  4431. "Oh, nothing big. I just found out I'm a horrible pony is all."
  4432. >A gentle hoof is placed on your whithers.
  4433. >"You are not-"
  4434. "I asked him once if there was anything special he'd like. He said he wanted a watch. One that could tell everything up to what year it is. That was when he first started talking. Really talking."
  4435. >A wing is laid across you, not aiding you in the slightest.
  4436. "I thought it was just him being, well, a stallion. That he'd want something nice didn't seem too odd to me."
  4437. >Your eyes reach Celestias, which were full of pity.
  4438. "He has two clocks in his room, one in his bathroom, and his calendar has more notes than mine. I'll catch him simply staring at clocks, seemingly amazed by their ticking."
  4439. >Celestia pulls you towards the edge of the table, laying her neck and other wing across you.
  4440. "He said he was in that forest for a month, but he's been in there since we put the Element back. He lost himself in that forest and he wanted that watch as an anchor to bring himself back. When I told him it would be too much, since they could be several hundred bits, he just smiled, patted me on the head, and said 'thanks anyways, Twilight'. I went and dangled a little bit of hope in front of him and then just-"
  4441. >You're silenced by another hoof wrapping around you, pulling you into a hug.
  4442. >"You have done nothing wrong."
  4443. >You extend wings and hooves, pushing her off.
  4444. "Haven't I though? Puttting the Elements back was my decision. That sent who knows what his way and-"
  4445. >"You had to put the Elements back, Twilight. For Equestria."
  4446. >You sit up on the table, coming to eye level with Celestia.
  4447. "How many of those scars are my fault?"
  4448. _-_-_-_-_-_
  4449. >You are Starlight Glimmer.
  4450. >And even if you aren't a pony right now, you're a very bad pony.
  4451. >Anon insisted he was fine, that the bruises weren't a big deal.
  4452. >Thankfully, the entire thing hadn't bruised, but a lot around the edges had, making the shape clear on his chest.
  4453. >Trixie was furious with you.
  4454. >She had all but kicked you out of your shared room.
  4455. >Anon wouldn't have it, of course.
  4456. >He grabbed both of you and tried to lie on top of you to get you to make up, but Trixie wriggled her way out and made her way to her wagon.
  4457. >Anon had tried to follow her, allowing you to go to your old room.
  4458. >The bed was too small now, so you slept on the floor in your clothes.
  4459. >You had laid there for an hour before Anon came pounding at your door.
  4460. >After checking the library and your-his room he got Hendrix to track you down.
  4461. >You had explained as best you could that you wanted to get your thoughts together.
  4462. >At least until morning.
  4463. >He was quiet for a moment before agreeing to leave.
  4464. >Once you checked to see if he was actually gone you saw three wolves staring at you.
  4465. >You checked out your window to look at the new forest, only to see a flicker of green light dancing among the trees.
  4466. >You'd be willing to bet he stayed with the rest watching over Trixie.
  4467. >After that you had tried to sleep.
  4468. >What little you did get wasn't great.
  4469. >Princess Luna showed up at one point, looking frantic and haggard.
  4470. >She looked at your dreamscape for a moment before telling you to deal with it and that Anon owed her a drink.
  4471. >All this leads to now, a knock leading you to your door.
  4472. >Opening it, you see Anon with a frowning Trixie, who was pushing a cart of food for all of you.
  4473. >You nervously smile as you look down at her.
  4474. "Did he promise you more cookies?"
  4475. >She snorts and marches past you, nearly running over your foot with the food cart.
  4476. >"Yes, and the angry and irate Trixie is still mad at you."
  4477. >You step back, making way for Anon.
  4478. "That's fair. Anon are you-mmph"
  4479. >You can't get any more protests between your locked lips.
  4480. >Your eyes flutter for a moment, enjoying his touch.
  4481. >It ends all too soon as he pulls away.
  4482. >"How are you doing?"
  4483. >You smile at the misplaced concern.
  4484. "I'm starving."
  4485. >You had skipped dinner last night because of yesterdays mess.
  4486. >He smiles before kissing your forehead.
  4487. >"Hi starving, I'm Anon."
  4488. >Don't hit him, you're not supposed to hit stallions.
  4489. >Plus, you're on thin ice with Trixie.
  4490. >You should be on thin ice with him too, but he has no bucks to give.
  4491. "Anon, I have seven mothers. Please no mom jokes."
  4492. >Every time you said you were hungry.
  4493. >They'd do it all together.
  4494. >They even had a song at one point.
  4495. >"Sure thing, Star."
  4496. >Anon pulls you towards your bed where Trixie had already started eating off of the cart.
  4497. >You knew it was fine to eat off of the cart.
  4498. >He gestures for you to sit down while he picks up Trixie.
  4499. >This doesn't slow her down in the slightest.
  4500. >Anon sets her in his lap as you sit down.
  4501. >"You could've waited for us."
  4502. >"Frrfufn."
  4503. >Anon pops an eyebrow at you as you shrug.
  4504. >Her horn glows and two more plates are promptly filled with breakfast goodies.
  4505. >The pancakes look good but-
  4506. "Where are the blueberries?"
  4507. >Trixie gives you the stink eye as Anon gives you an apologetic smile.
  4508. >"She either ate or hid all of them. Sorry."
  4509. >You open your mouth to say something before simply nodding.
  4510. "Okay."
  4511. >Anon frowns as you start to eat.
  4512. >Breakfast passes in near silence as the three of you eat, Trixie occasionally snuggling deeper into Anon while Anon tries to wrap an arm around you.
  4513. >You let him do as he pleases, too afraid to dig this hole deeper.
  4514. >Without the usual chatter, breakfast ends much faster.
  4515. >Anon sets his fork down and speaks up.
  4516. >"Okay, let's be civil. I get the guys here are...different, but nobody got hurt."
  4517. >Trixie wriggles around in his lap as she turns to face him.
  4518. >"Somepony did get hurt, Anonymous. You did."
  4519. >Why isn't he upset about this?
  4520. >Anon just shrugs.
  4521. >"I know that the phrasing here is bad, but I was literally asking for it."
  4522. >Trixie makes a frustrated whine.
  4523. >"How are stallions treated where you come from? If a human mare were to hit a human stallion would she not end up in jail?"
  4524. >Anon laughs at this.
  4525. "Anon, please don't laugh. This is serious."
  4526. >Trixie nods.
  4527. >"Yes, Starlight is a bad pony and you should be very mad at her."
  4528. >Laying it on a little thick.
  4529. >"Okay okay. Um...Basically human stallions, erm, human males are like pony females."
  4530. >You and Trixie look at eachother, both of you scrunching.
  4531. >Or you would be if you could scrunch properly.
  4532. >You want your muzzle back.
  4533. "That explains a lot."
  4534. >Trixie nods again.
  4535. >"Is this one of those times where Trixie says no homo or..."
  4536. >Anon shrugs, scratching behind her ear.
  4537. >"I have a dick."
  4538. >"Does that make you a trap?"
  4539. >You shake your head.
  4540. "No, a trap-we're getting off topic. The issue is that I hurt you. A stallion. And not just any stallion, but my stallion."
  4541. >Anon gestures for you to continue as he leans back.
  4542. "And that is NOT what a mare does! I-I've bucked up all my life with starting a cult and-"
  4543. >You flinch, waiting for the BAP.
  4544. >A moment passes, prompting you to peek out at Anon.
  4545. >He's lazily leaning back, rubbing Trixies back as he looks at you.
  4546. >"Star, after yesterday you got yourself a BAP free pass for the next year."
  4547. >You frown.
  4548. >You don't like that.
  4549. >And from the look on Trixies face, neither does she.
  4550. >She wriggles around in his lap to face him.
  4551. >"Why are you taking this so casually? You should be furious with her. She hurt you!"
  4552. >Anon smiles as he scratches under her chin.
  4553. >She tries to keep strong, but only holds out for a moment before leaning into it.
  4554. >"You two insult me all the time. How is this different?"
  4555. >You sigh heavily as he turns back to you.
  4556. "That's just us messing around. I don't think either of us could stand being with a normal stallion. But as for this...The one thing that a mare really needs to do is protect her stallion. And if a mare hurts her stallion..."
  4557. >You stop for a moment, trying to think of how to convey this.
  4558. "You know there aren't that many stallions, right?"
  4559. >He nods.
  4560. "Every mother teaches their fillies not to hurt their stallions. This is drilled into us and I..."
  4561. >You trail off, trying to think of how to get this through to him.
  4562. >Anon simply looks at you, eyes scanning your face.
  4563. >"I'm going to be really happy when you get your regular ears back."
  4564. >So are you, but how is that relevant to anything?
  4565. >He shakes his head.
  4566. >"This is really eating you up, isn't it?"
  4567. >You nod.
  4568. "I've been called a failure and a dissappointment a lot, but...if I hurt you that would mean they were right. I did some not so great things, but I never hurt a single pony."
  4569. >You even tried to go easier on the stallions with your cult thing.
  4570. >...
  4571. >That's not equality.
  4572. >Anon smiles as he nods.
  4573. >"So your society is built around cock worship."
  4574. "NO!"
  4575. >Trixie puts a hoof to her chin as Anon laughs.
  4576. >"He's not wrong."
  4577. "You shut the buck up!"
  4578. >She smiles as Anon recovers from his laughing fit.
  4579. >"Sorry, Star. I just needed to lighten the mood a bit."
  4580. >You huff as Anon falls into another fit of giggles.
  4581. >"Okay, tell you two what. If you're so worried about this, I'll go fix it."
  4582. >You try to ask what he means by that, but he sets Trixie on top of you before you can speak.
  4583. "Oof! You need to go on a diet."
  4584. >She glares at you as Anon opens the window.
  4585. >"This is muscle, not fat!"
  4586. >Anon turns back to open the door, letting the wolves in.
  4587. "Hey, don't let them-"
  4588. >You lose your voice as Dean leaps out the window.
  4589. >All three of you watch the procession of six wolves charge through your room and out your window.
  4590. >You look up at Anon.
  4591. "What?"
  4592. >He grins as he steps over towards the window, placing his back to it.
  4593. >"I'd say follow the white rabbit, but right now you need to follow the green monkey."
  4594. >He leans back.
  4595. >Both you and Trixie panic, scrambling forward in any attempt to catch him.
  4596. >It was all for nothing, however, because his feet were gone from your view by the time you made it halfway.
  4597. >WHY DIDN'T YOU HAVE YOUR HORN?!
  4598. >You could have grabbed his clothes at least!
  4599. >Wait.
  4600. >You slap Trixies flank.
  4601. "Why didn't you use your magic, you colossal cock compactor?!"
  4602. >She whips around to face you.
  4603. >"Trixie panicked, OKAY! She is not-"
  4604. >"HEY GIRLS!"
  4605. >Both of you freeze before charging back to the window, seeing only-
  4606. >The forest where the freaky wood wolves just jumped into.
  4607. >You two sure are stupid.
  4608. >"FOLLOW THE GREEN MONKEY!"
  4609. >You stare into the wooden mess, contemplating if you should actually jump and exactly how insane Anon is.
  4610. >Your thoughts are interrupted by a sound.
  4611. >A second later there is a sensation around your ankles.
  4612. >Your head snaps over to Trixie as panic starts to brew within you.
  4613. >Her horn was glowing as she smiled at you.
  4614. "Trixie."
  4615. >"Yes, Starlight?"
  4616. "I hate you."
  4617. >"I know."
  4618. >And with that, she tosses you out the window.
  4619. >You're proud that you're able to keep your screaming to a minimum during the fall.
  4620. >Magic, wherefore art thou, thou bucking pile of horseapples.
  4621. >You snap your eyes shut as the trees approach, hoping for the best.
  4622. >There's some jostling and rustling, but after a second you can feel the ground beneath your feet.
  4623. >You collapse into what you think is Anons arms as something slides off of you.
  4624. >"How'd you like that?"
  4625. "I didn't. Can I open my eyes now?"
  4626. >Anon hums as he turns you from side to side.
  4627. >"That depends."
  4628. "On what?"
  4629. >"Do you want to see?"
  4630. >You eyes snap open to see a smiling Anon.
  4631. "All of my hate. Bucking all of it."
  4632. >He smiles wider as he gives your shoulders a squeeze.
  4633. >"That's my little firebrand. I didn't like seeing you all mopey."
  4634. >You can feel your eye twitching.
  4635. "I-grrr-I hurt you and then your all like 'I like you grumpy'. Just-"
  4636. >"AAAAUUU-"
  4637. >Trixie comes crashing down through the canopy, her fall slowed by a bundle of vines, and is deposited to your right.
  4638. >The vines retract upwards as she slowly opens her eyes.
  4639. >"You doing okay there, Trix?"
  4640. >"...Yes?"
  4641. >Anon chuckles before whistling.
  4642. >A return whistle can be heard, followed by a dull thud to your left.
  4643. >You turn your head ever so slowly because you recognized the second whistle.
  4644. "Anon, why did they throw that?"
  4645. >He picks up the glaive and affixes it to his back.
  4646. >"Because it's faster than just handing it to me."
  4647. >You start to shake in anger as the wolves close in.
  4648. >Why even worry about hurting him?
  4649. >He'll just kill himself!
  4650. >Trixie smiles and moves to meet Henson.
  4651. >"You are very handsome and do not let anypony tell you otherwise."
  4652. >Trixie starts evening out his hat as Anon calls the wolves over.
  4653. >"Wait, Trixie is not done fixing your hat!"
  4654. >"Pack: wolf!"
  4655. >As one, seven wolves explode and start to build the larger wolf.
  4656. >"Oh, now the hat is completely ruined."
  4657. >You take a look at the newly formed wolf.
  4658. "I wouldn't say that."
  4659. >Anon starts laughing as Trixie squeals in delight.
  4660. >The hat was much bigger now and even curved the same way as Trixies.
  4661. >Some of the newspaper was used as a curled mustache, the rest was used to make a beard.
  4662. >The gems were ringed around his neck, intermixed with Deans lion mane.
  4663. >Hendrix' strings could be seen in various places, mostly the belly.
  4664. >Finally, there was Boyles angry eyebrows.
  4665. >Anon stumbles forward, still laughing, and wraps the wolf in a hug.
  4666. >"You are the goodest of boys."
  4667. >You smile as both you and Trixie approach.
  4668. "Okay, so what are we doing?"
  4669. >Anon backs away before giving the large wolf a pat, making it lay down and allowing him to get on.
  4670. >"I made this mess by getting myself hurt so I'm going to go heal up these bruises. So do you two want to come with me and see or wait until I get back?"
  4671. >Trixie immediately marches forward, allowing Anon to pick her up.
  4672. >You hesitate for only a second before following.
  4673. >"If you come with, you're not allowed off Jim, Star."
  4674. >You stop at Anons words.
  4675. "What? Why-"
  4676. >"Two legs or four, I don't trust you not to hurt yourself. Especially without magic."
  4677. >Trixie blows a raspberry as you grumpily march forward.
  4678. >You swing a leg over and Jim immediately stands up, prompting you to grab onto Anon.
  4679. "How exactly are you going to heal yourself?"
  4680. >"Blue harbor!"
  4681. >Jim lurches downward as he starts sniffing, nearly throwing you off.
  4682. "Celestia damned-some warning, please!"
  4683. >"Here's your warning, Star. Hold on."
  4684. >You do just that as Jim rips forward.
  4685. >He tears up the ground as he runs, clods of dirt being kicked into the air as he runs.
  4686. >You hold tight, barely working up the nerve to peak over Anons shoulder to see where you're going.
  4687. >What you see does not make you a happy filly.
  4688. "Anon, that is not the place we go for healing."
  4689. >He turns just enough to smirk at you.
  4690. >"It's where blue harbor is, Star."
  4691. "What the buck is blue harbor?!"
  4692. >Anon laughs as you cross the threshold of the forest.
  4693. >"It's like a safe space, but instead of worrying about your feelings you don't have to worry about dying."
  4694. >You hold on tighter as Jim makes a small jump.
  4695. >"These flowers are the only thing the entire forest refuses to fuck with. It's great!"
  4696. >Your brow furrows as you think back to your conversation with Fluttershy.
  4697. >She said there was some kind of plant that he used to keep going.
  4698. >Could this be it?
  4699. >"Could Trixie put these flowers on her wagon? It would be nice to keep monsters away while on the road."
  4700. >Anon shakes his head.
  4701. >"This stuff is weird. Wherever it is won't flood or be buried in snow and it can't burn. Everytime I would try to take some with me, it would just turn to dust. I'd go back to the patch and see the flower I took grew back. Or poofed back, I don't know."
  4702. >You scrunch up as Jim starts to slow down.
  4703. "This sounds a lot like magic, Anon."
  4704. >"It probably is."
  4705. >You ease up on Anon to take a look around.
  4706. "But you're immune to magic."
  4707. >It still drove you nuts.
  4708. >He was like a boulder in a stream.
  4709. >Unyielding and unmoving to magic.
  4710. >It was nice though, since that meant you couldn't hurt him with magic.
  4711. >He twists around to face you as Jim comes to a stop.
  4712. >"I don't know about you, but I'm willing to bet I'm here because of magic."
  4713. >That...
  4714. >Shouldn't make as much sense as it does.
  4715. >Jim lays down, allowing Anon to get off and place Trixie where she was facing you.
  4716. >You both stare at eachother, not really sure what to say to that.
  4717. >You had personally tried to blow a hole in him.
  4718. >No.
  4719. >You made a crater where he was standing.
  4720. >Even Trixie was guilty of this.
  4721. >She had him help with her shows and her poorly made fireworks blew up on him once.
  4722. >Not just a single rocket, but her entire stock.
  4723. >She tried to apologize, but he just said he'd make her better fireworks.
  4724. >Those non-magic fireworks were a lot louder.
  4725. >You both turn to Anon as-
  4726. "Anon, STOP!"
  4727. >He turns around, his hand inches from the poison joke.
  4728. >Twilight had showed you the flowers on your camping trip and told you what they could do.
  4729. >You start to swing your leg over, only for Anon to call back.
  4730. >"You stay right where you are, missy!"
  4731. >You freeze as Trixie looks between the two of you.
  4732. >"What's wrong with the flowers?"
  4733. "They're bad! Anon, you don't know what will happen if you touch those! Get away from them!"
  4734. >Anon scoffs as you start to swing your leg over again.
  4735. >"Yeah I do. Look."
  4736. >He reaches out, his hand touching the flowers.
  4737. >Light ripples out at his touch, as if a drop of water hitting a pond.
  4738. >Even without a horn you can feel the magic rushing past you in a flurry.
  4739. >The magic carries eddies of...
  4740. >Something.
  4741. >You're not too sure what that something is because you feel very calm right now.
  4742. >No.
  4743. >Calm does not quite describe the feeling coursing through you right now.
  4744. >It's more-
  4745. >The light resonates in the patch of poison joke for a moment longer before traveling up his arm.
  4746. >His entire body glows for a second and as soon as it stops, the calm goes with it, panic and confusion quickly taking its place.
  4747. >He steps towards you before you can process-
  4748. >What.
  4749. >The.
  4750. >Actual.
  4751. >Buck.
  4752. >Just happened.
  4753. >Trixie slowly turns towards you.
  4754. >"That's not normal, right? Trixie is upset and confused."
  4755. >You pick up your jaw and nod.
  4756. "So am I, don't worry."
  4757. >Anon laughs before lifting up his shirt, revealing an absolutely bruiseless chest.
  4758. >"See, what'd I tell you? Stay here, girls. I need to check on something."
  4759. >Jim shifts under you, settling on the ground.
  4760. >At least you think that's what happened.
  4761. >You're still staring at the poison joke.
  4762. >You are so happy Twilight isn't here right now.
  4763. >She'd probably just explode.
  4764. >Not even into some kind of metaphorical thing, just a purple explosion.
  4765. >A tap at your knee brings you back to reality.
  4766. >You look down to see Trixie looking as lost as you are.
  4767. >"Please explain."
  4768. >You point up to your forehead.
  4769. "If I had my horn I could. Maybe! Of everything we know of-it's not supposed to heal! It shouldn't glow and the effects usually happen overnight! WHAT WAS THAT?!"
  4770. >"Don't yell at Trixie, she is upset also!"
  4771. >You take a deep breath, slowly nodding.
  4772. "Y-yeah, sorry. Look let's just...where'd Anon go?"
  4773. >Two heads start whipping around, looking for your stallion.
  4774. >"He's gone. Where'd he go?"
  4775. "I don't know. Um. Hendrix! Find Anon!"
  4776. >"What is Hendrix going to do?"
  4777. >You wave her off as you try to poke the wolf out of the bigger wolf.
  4778. "Anon said Hendrix was a tracker. If we can-"
  4779. >"I'm surprised you remembered that."
  4780. >You both scream and nearly fall off of Jim.
  4781. >You turn to glare at Anon.
  4782. "Where the buck did you go?!"
  4783. >He smiles.
  4784. >"Nowhere~"
  4785. >You do not like the way he said that.
  4786. >"Did that upset you two that much? I know full well that is not the freakiest thing either of you have seen."
  4787. >Trixie starts to wobble off of Jim.
  4788. >"Trixie-"
  4789. >"Teacup golem."
  4790. >She sits up, leveling a hoof at Anon.
  4791. >"We agreed never to speak of that again."
  4792. >You shudder, thinking back on the poor construct.
  4793. "It just kept asking if we wanted tea."
  4794. >If any good came of that, it's that Trixie never made another tea cup.
  4795. >The hoof shifts over to you.
  4796. >"We agreed not to speak of it! And what was that?! Trixie has seen many things in her travels, but she has never felt anything like that!"
  4797. >You nod and put a hand on her.
  4798. "Even I could feel that and I don't have a horn. What did it feel like?"
  4799. >She locks eyes with you for a moment before looking back at the flowers.
  4800. >"Big."
  4801. >That doesn't help, but it sounds accurate.
  4802. >"Soooo..."
  4803. >You both turn to look at a hopeful Anon.
  4804. >"Are we done with the grumpy, moody stuff? Because that was getting old."
  4805. >You face Trixie who nods at you.
  4806. >"Trixie is upset, confused, and mildly hungry."
  4807. "You just ate."
  4808. >"Trixie will hold off on her grumpiness if she gets a proper explanation and a snack."
  4809. >Anon chuckles as he strides over to Jim.
  4810. >"How about you hold off on the snack and we get a bunch of shrimp tacos for lunch."
  4811. >"Trixie will agree to that if we get nachos too."
  4812. "I'm going to have to eat the shrimp, aren't I? Wait, don't distract us with food! Explain!"
  4813. >Anon picks up Trixie as he gets on Jim.
  4814. >"That stuff is the reason I'm alive. Well, that and Jim here."
  4815. >Jim turns in place and begins to slowly make his way out of the forest.
  4816. >"You used those flowers a lot? Trixie would probably do the same. If-"
  4817. "Yeah and then you'd die! Healing magic can be very erratic if not handled properly. How many times have you used this, Anon? You could be in serious danger of a thaumic decay where your mana...okay, you don't have mana reserves, but it's still dangerous."
  4818. >Anon nods.
  4819. >"I figured that magic cancer would be an issue, but I think I've used it enough to give the cancer its own cancer."
  4820. "Cancer hasn't an issue for years, Anon. At least if you didn't have this bucking magic resistance it wouldn't be. How much have you used it?"
  4821. >He twists around to look at you.
  4822. >"Fucking cheating magic horses. It's healed just about every single one of my wounds since I got dropped in the forest, Star. It doesn't seem to be perfect since it left the scars behind though."
  4823. >He turns back, letting that sink in.
  4824. >You stare at the back of Anons head, not quite believing it.
  4825. >Trixies eyes peak over his shoulder as they look for yours.
  4826. >Anon is silent as you slowly lift up the back of his shirt.
  4827. >Taking a look-
  4828. "Y-you've used it quite a bit."
  4829. >And that's just his back.
  4830. >"Yep. You still think I'll get magic cancer?"
  4831. >You run a finger along a heavy scar running diagonally across his back.
  4832. "N-no. Even without your own pool of magic to run dry...what caused this one?"
  4833. >His free hand reaches around, trying to grab at where your hand is.
  4834. >You gently grab it and move it to the thick scar.
  4835. >"Oh, that one? Me and the boys got in a fight with a pack of popo raptors. They were kind of like if slenderman had babies with velociraptors. All gangly, running on four legs, and not so much as a whisper as they moved...I called them popo raptors because they had some massive lips. Like, offensively large lips. I may be green, but even I was offended. They ate like snakes too, so after they ate they had Mister Popos belly. It was hilarious."
  4836. >What's a Mister Popo?
  4837. >You and Trixie exchange looks as he giggles to himself.
  4838. >She cranes her neck, trying to get a look as Anon pulls his hand back.
  4839. >"What happened?"
  4840. >He pats her on the back as Jim comes to a stop.
  4841. >Anon and Jim don't move a muscle as you and Trixie look to Anon.
  4842. >Does Jim have muscles?
  4843. "Is something-"
  4844. >"We're good. Come on, boy."
  4845. >Anon swings a foot to pluck a chord.
  4846. >This gets Jim moving again, the chords on his belly playing a light tune.
  4847. >This probably upset him a lot.
  4848. >Should you be bugging him about this?
  4849. >He hums to himself, his eyes forward but his attention elsewhere.
  4850. >"The story is simple. We got in a fight and won, but not before one of them cut through my spine."
  4851. "WHAT?!"
  4852. >Anon flinches from both you and Trixie screaming in his ear.
  4853. >"Ow. Should I go back to fix my hearing loss-hey!"
  4854. >You all but rip the shirt off, not caring for his objections.
  4855. "Do you know how difficult it is just to mend bone with magic? Cutting through...you're nervous system runs through your spine, right? You don't have some freaky alien-"
  4856. >"No, Starlight. It's all in the spine. I think. I'm a stabby man, not a...doctors are kind of stabby men, does that make me a doctor? Anyways, after everything was dead, the boys dragged me to some blue harbor. I got back up and we went back to carve up the raptors. The twins had a lot of fun with the cuts of lip I gave them."
  4857. >You appreciate these wolves a whole lot more now but...
  4858. >Some of Anons words stand out to you as you put his shirt down.
  4859. >You put a hand on his back, the scar still distinct through the fabric.
  4860. "Anon, you said the poi-blue harbor wan't perfect. Do you..."
  4861. >Blue harbor seems like a better name, considering if not for it he may be...
  4862. >You look upwards at the two parallel scars on his neck.
  4863. >Was that another time where he nearly...
  4864. >Anon nods, keeping an ear pointed backwards.
  4865. >"I've lost some feeling in my feet and my toes will tingle every now and then. That's a weird combination, I know, but I'm pretty happy especially considering I wan't able to walk for a bit."
  4866. >Two blue hooves wrap around Anons neck as you lean forward, wrapping your arms around his belly.
  4867. "How can you laugh after what you've been through? How can you joke about those things? They almost killed you."
  4868. >Anon is quiet for a long moment, making you think he won't respond.
  4869. >You reach up with your left hand just so that you can feel your herdsister.
  4870. >The other grabs him by his shoulder as you press your face into his back.
  4871. >After a while, he reaches back and pats your leg.
  4872. >"Before I got dropped off in this forest I thought this kind of place would be Heaven. I collected guns and made all kinds of stuff for a doomsday that would never come."
  4873. >He chuckles as he turns back around.
  4874. >"I thought guns could solve everything, that all those bullets could stop anything. I had enough firepower in that truck to arm a small militia and even if I killed quite a bit when I first showed up, all I really did was ring the dinner bell."
  4875. >Trixies face rises up over his shoulder.
  4876. >Her eyes shimmer ever so slightly as she looks to you for answers you don't have.
  4877. >"To put it simply, I've been through some bad shit. Hell, I went through Hell! What I want to do now is laugh, drink, and be happy."
  4878. >Trixie sniffles as she nuzzles him.
  4879. >You give his belly a squeeze as you lean into his back.
  4880. "You weren't exactly happy when the girls found you."
  4881. >"Eh, I was just waiting to see if they'd try something. Plus, being so fresh out of the forest I was a little tense."
  4882. >You laugh weakly.
  4883. "I kept telling Twilight that you probably just needed a drink, but she's all 'he's in a delicate state right now' and 'stallions don't drink like mares'. Look how that turned out."
  4884. >Trixie pokes her head up as she looks at Anon.
  4885. >"I really do wish I remember the first time we met. At least I can find the tree I woke up in with you holding me."
  4886. >You laugh a bit more.
  4887. "Twilight was about ready to put a ban on alcohol across town because of me. Then you came stumbling into the dining hall we were eating in with a barrel of cider on your back and said 'Trixie has cider and fireworks. Who wants which?'"
  4888. >Anon chuckles as he scratches her ear.
  4889. >You shake your head as you lean deeper into him.
  4890. "He was over that table before Twilight or I could blink. He picked you and the barrel up and then he was just gone."
  4891. >Anon chuckles again, right hand slowly tapping at his leg.
  4892. >"Pinks was waiting for the jail-break. You remember all the minotaurs disguised as me?"
  4893. >This time your laughter won't stop as Trixie looks up at Anon.
  4894. >"I don't remember anything. I had just gotten back from a short travelling show and wanted to enjoy a drink. What was the point of the minotaurs?"
  4895. >Anon starts to explain since you can't stop laughing.
  4896. >"So when I got here, Twi was all like 'this poor lost soul is a delicate flower' and all that."
  4897. >"That sounds like her."
  4898. >"So I couldn't really leave the castle without her shoving her nose up my ass. She even tried to shove me into that friendship school, but I shut that down real quick. Then you popped up offering two of my favorite things: booze and explosives. Twi looked ready to blow a gasket just because of your existence so I decided to grab you and run. I needed a little break from her and I thought you'd appreciate not dying. When I got outside I hit the party."
  4899. >You're laughing had slowed down enough for you to speak.
  4900. "Y-yeah, I'd say you should have been sober for it, but you wouldn't have been for long with how much booze Pinkie got out. The-hehehe-the minos looked horrible, but of course Twilight had to check every single one, letting Anon enjoy himself. She was about ready to call the guard in when she couldn't find you the next morning, but I just tracked you down."
  4901. >Trixie pokes her muzzle over Anons shoulder again, giving you a very annoyed look.
  4902. >"You didn't use a tracking spell, did you?"
  4903. "Yep. I've always got one on you."
  4904. >She opens her mouth to complain, but you cut her off.
  4905. "I may not be able to use it now, but I wouldn't want to lose track of my herdsister."
  4906. >Her mouth snaps shut as she looks at you.
  4907. >"Yes, we wouldn't want to lose eachother...Will you teach Trixie how to do this."
  4908. >You grin at her.
  4909. "I don't know. Last time I taught you a spell-"
  4910. >"NOTHING HAPPENED!"
  4911. >You and Anon laugh as Jim crosses the edge of the forest.
  4912. >Anon reaches back to give you a poke.
  4913. >"On the subject of Twilight, you girls remember my crazy little theory?"
  4914. >Trixie leans back to look at you.
  4915. >"You mean the one where she's spying on you? Or us? Trixie is not sure since it seemed like incomprehensible gibberish."
  4916. >Anon nods and you can almost feel him smiling.
  4917. >"How much do you two want to bet that she has some guards following me?"
  4918. ----------
  4919. >Questions.
  4920. >You had them.
  4921. >A lot of them.
  4922. >The little issue you faced, however, is that you were curious about how Anon was going to heal himself.
  4923. >Then you got the answer.
  4924. >The answer came with a lightshow to Buck-You-ville with a side of more questions.
  4925. >So you asked another question.
  4926. >The answer was a very grim dose of reality.
  4927. >Anon survived that forest because of what may very well be a literal miracle.
  4928. >So your sitting here, on the ground, at the patio table to the local taco shop, quietly scratching yourself because you're afraid of what other answers or questions he may hold.
  4929. >One of those questionss was where are the wolves, but you didn't care to ask right now because you were itching so bad.
  4930. >Did you mention you were itching?
  4931. >Because by Celestias Golden Teats did every single inch of you itch, or burn, or SOMETHING!
  4932. >After the light show, the three of you had gotten back to the castle to take a bath together.
  4933. >Apparently it's weird for humans to take baths together, but Anon was got over it pretty quickly.
  4934. >You can't imagine how...distant humans must be for something as simple as a bath.
  4935. "Fatherbucker, if this bucking Celestia damned-grrr!"
  4936. >"You okay there, Star?"
  4937. >You look up to see Anon staring at you, a look of concern on his face.
  4938. >You try to smile as you reach to scratch your back.
  4939. "I'm fine. Uh, where's Trixie?"
  4940. >Anon scoots a bit closer to you.
  4941. >"Still ordering the food. Are you okay? I think I saw you itching a bit back at the castle."
  4942. >You're actually not sure when this started and that kind of bothered you.
  4943. >You spin around as you nod, scratching your back against the table while using your hands to get as much coverage as possible.
  4944. "Probably just Discord playing a prank."
  4945. >POP
  4946. "Oh, please no."
  4947. >"My apologies Starlight, but you said my name so now you get the pleasure of my company...Would you like a back scratcher?"
  4948. >You look up at Discord as you scratch your neck.
  4949. "That actually sounds great."
  4950. >"Well, I suppose you should go find somepony with one."
  4951. >Discord pulls out a back scratcher and starts using it as Anon extends an arm to help you.
  4952. >"Discord, if this is some kind of-"
  4953. >Discord sighs in annoyance.
  4954. >"My dear boy, if I was going to do something, I assure you it would be much more entertaining than whatever this is."
  4955. "Middle of my back, thank you. So if this isn't you-"
  4956. >A blinding flash of colors cuts you off midsentence.
  4957. >You sit there, unmoving, no longer itchy, and hopeful.
  4958. >Hopeful because you recognized that freaky light.
  4959. >Slowly, ever so slowly, you crack open an eye.
  4960. >The sight that greets you is a pink hoof pointed towards your muzzle.
  4961. >No, it's purple not pink.
  4962. "Oh, Sweet Celestia YES!"
  4963. >Anon chuckles as he pulls you into his lap.
  4964. >"I guess we'll have to cancel that order from Rarity."
  4965. >"Not necessarily."
  4966. >You look up to see Discord with a...
  4967. >Another bucket.
  4968. >kkkrrrRRRRRRRR
  4969. >Discord waves a white flag at the sight of your charging horn.
  4970. >"Now, now. There is no need to-"
  4971. >BWOOOOOOOOOOOOOMP
  4972. >The beam of energy lances through the air, instantly blasting Discord apart.
  4973. >You stare at the empty air before giggling to yourself as you drum your hooves on the table.
  4974. >Random objects start to float up in your grasp as you relish the sensation.
  4975. >After a moment, the objects come into a stable orbit around you and Anon.
  4976. "Oh, it feels so good to use magic again!"
  4977. >"Y-you-"
  4978. >You crane your head up to see Anon staring at the empty space where Discord used to be.
  4979. "What? He was going to change me into a human again. Buck that!"
  4980. >Anon keeps staring as a massive pile of nachos is placed on the table.
  4981. >Trixie gives you a nuzzle and pokes you in the chest.
  4982. >"Hehe, you have a tiny tuft again."
  4983. >...
  4984. "I'd kick your flank up and down this street, but I am way too happy right now."
  4985. >She gives you another nuzzle.
  4986. >"You also love Trixie. As you should, since she is Trixie."
  4987. >Trixie looks up at Anon who was still staring into space and gives him a slight poke.
  4988. >She turns back to you looking slightly concerned.
  4989. >"Is Anonymous okay?"
  4990. >You nod.
  4991. "I think he's just a little freaked out that I killed Discord again."
  4992. >"Again?"
  4993. >Both of you turn at Anons word.
  4994. >He looks down at you and, for the first time in all the time you've known him, looks absolutely lost.
  4995. >"How many times have you killed him?"
  4996. >You give a quick glance at Trixie who simply shrugs.
  4997. "About four times now. There was this time, one time at the school, the first time he told me to do it, and then one time Rainbow made a bet with me."
  4998. >Anon continues to stare at the space Discord was at.
  4999. >Okay, what did you do?
  5000. >Sure you just murdered-
  5001. >Yeah, you can stop that sentence there.
  5002. >You pat Anon on the chest.
  5003. "Hey, Nons? You okay there?"
  5004. >He shakes his head as he responds.
  5005. >"I...what was all that about not hurting stallions and stuff?"
  5006. >You lean back, pressing yourself fully against him.
  5007. "Well, Discord doesn't count. That one time he told me to kill him I didn't want to since he was a stallion. So he just popped his vagina off and started slapping me with it until I did."
  5008. >Anon frowns.
  5009. >"Wait. Didn't you say you did that same thing at the school? Please tell me the kids didn't see."
  5010. >Your ears pin back as you grin nervously.
  5011. "Well-"
  5012. >A finger to your lips keeps you from speaking.
  5013. >"Yeah that's all the answer I needed. No more talking just-just nachos, Star. I don't even know how to...nachos. Let us eat nachos and and forget that ever happened."
  5014. >"Pfft! That's going to be pretty hard when Fluttershy gets to Starlight."
  5015. >You twist around in Anons lap to find a smirking Rainbow Dash.
  5016. >She points a hoof at you.
  5017. >"Just remember, I wasn't here when you blasted him. I just got here for my lunch break and I don't want to get quietly yelled at for not saving Discords flank."
  5018. >She trots over to take a seat on the opposite side of the table while Trixie sits down next to Anon.
  5019. "Hey Rainbow, look! I'm a pony again!"
  5020. >Trixie gives your chest another poke.
  5021. >"She also has a tiny tuft again."
  5022. "Buck you, Trix."
  5023. >Dash looks between the three of you with a confused expression.
  5024. >"When were you not a pony?"
  5025. >...
  5026. "I...did you not hear?"
  5027. >Rainbow shrugs as she reaches for your nachos, Trixie promptly swatting her hoof away.
  5028. >"Hey, lemme have some. There was some meeting about you, but I wasn't paying attention."
  5029. "It was about as bad as usual, wasn't it?"
  5030. >"You know it, sis. Things are actually nicer with Spike and the demon ladies running the show. We really need to get Twilight some dick once she gets back. Hehehe, I'd say she's really anal, but I know she's not getting any of that."
  5031. >Does she not know?
  5032. >You look to see your herdmates reactions.
  5033. >Trixie seems a little confused while Anon was grabbing napkins out of the items you had floating around him.
  5034. >What is he-
  5035. >Anon unfolds the first one and lays it flat across your head.
  5036. "Really?"
  5037. >He nods as he puts another one down.
  5038. >"Do you want nachos in your mane?"
  5039. "I could sit next to you so you don't have to eat over me."
  5040. >"Nah, I'm going to aggressively cuddle you all day long."
  5041. >He grabs both of your ears and gives them a shake.
  5042. >"Flippity floppity, Star just killed somebody."
  5043. >You shake your head, ignoring Anon as he returns to applying napkins.
  5044. >You face Dash again, who was still fighting Trixie over nachos and clear your throat.
  5045. "Did you hear why Spike is subbing for Twilight?"
  5046. >"Hrm, stuff in-hey!"
  5047. >Trixie launches herself across the table, tackling Dash and deftly dodging past the pile of chips and cheese.
  5048. >"These are Trixies nachos! Trixies!"
  5049. >"Hey, get off of me you-hurk!"
  5050. >Anon leans forward to peer over the table as you grab a cheesy clump for yourself.
  5051. >"Okay, Trix. You can ease up, no need to hurt her."
  5052. >"She threatened Trixies nachos!"
  5053. >"Trixie, there are enough nachos here for five people and I don't know how many ponies. Freaking portion sizes, just don't kill her, okay?"
  5054. >You hear Rainbow take in a gasp of air as a pile of chips float over to Trixie.
  5055. >"Thanks, Anon."
  5056. >Anon chuckles as he grabs a chip of his own.
  5057. >"No problem, Dash. Hey, you remember that little bet we made a little while back right? The one where I had to catch you?"
  5058. >The only sound between the four of you is quiet munching and a not so quiet snickering from Trixie.
  5059. >Trixie floats some more chips over as Dash speaks up.
  5060. >"Y-yeah, what about it?"
  5061. >You snicker and grab another chip.
  5062. >"Well, so long as you apologize to Trixie for the lightning, we're good."
  5063. >You scrunch up as two blue heads pop up over the other side of the table and yell in unison.
  5064. >"What?!"
  5065. >Trixie shoves Rainbow back down as you look up at Anon.
  5066. "You're not going to make her do anything humiliating?"
  5067. >Anon shrugs as the two blue mares start wrestling.
  5068. >"I was, but then Trixie nearly broke her. So it may not be even, but with an apology it works."
  5069. >"Ow-I can live with that. Sorry, Trixie."
  5070. >Trixie rolls Dash off of the patio and onto the dirt.
  5071. >"You shall not 'live with it'! You shall polish Trixies hooves for-food!"
  5072. >The mares untangle themselves and scramble towards the table where a serving mare was unloading a tray.
  5073. >Anon laughs at the pair as you stare at...
  5074. >Shrimp.
  5075. >Why couldn't you have changed back ten, maybe five minutes earlier.
  5076. >Dash start demolishing her food as Trixie starts doing her thing.
  5077. >Anon gestures at her with a hand.
  5078. >"The end of days will come before I understand why you do that. Like, you have magic, but you refuse to eat them properly."
  5079. >She did eat tacos in a really weird way.
  5080. >She would put all the tacos onto one plate and just start grazing as if it were a salad.
  5081. >Anon points over at Dash.
  5082. >"Look! Even Dash knows how to eat a taco...how do you hold that with a hoof?"
  5083. >Rainbow shrugs.
  5084. >"What's weird about this? Sis, don't go on one of your food rants now, let's just enjoy the meal."
  5085. >Trixie gives Anon a nuzzle before she starts eating.
  5086. >Anon grunts as he turns to look at you.
  5087. >Noticing that you haven't touched your food, he taps you on your back.
  5088. >"Do you want to go order something else?"
  5089. >You use your magic to pick up an individual shrimp out of one of your tacos.
  5090. >You turn it over in your grasp and get a good look at it.
  5091. "I-"
  5092. >"C'mon, Star! Stop being a dick and try it."
  5093. >You shoot Dash an annoyed glare, but quickly return to the shrimp before you.
  5094. >"I'm serious. Anon needs to eat this stuff and Trixie doesn't have an issue with it, so why do you? A herd's supposed to support the stallion and stuff, but you just refuse to even try it."
  5095. >Great.
  5096. >Now you're getting relationship advice from Rainbow 'Done in a Flash' Dash.
  5097. >Anon puts a hand on your back as you try to think.
  5098. >"She's a cunt and she knows it, Star. If you want something different, we can get you something different."
  5099. >"I may be a cunt, but that doesn't mean I'm not wrong...not right? You know what I mean!"
  5100. >You lay the shrimp back where you got it before lifting up the whole taco.
  5101. "No, Dash is right."
  5102. >"That works!"
  5103. >You give Dash a quick zap and are promptly called a dyke for your efforts.
  5104. "I'm in a herd with you two, and both of you seem to enjoy this while I've never even tried it so...here we go?"
  5105. >You give the taco one more look and while there was a good bit of shrimp in there, there was also a lot of filler.
  5106. >Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.
  5107. >Your head darts forward, allowing you to take a quick bite of the taco.
  5108. >You quickly begin chewing, doing your best to ignore the weird mushy, sliminess of the shrimp.
  5109. >After a moment, you tilt your head back, swallowing the entire load.
  5110. >You grimace as you turn back to the taco.
  5111. >Anon pats you on the flank.
  5112. >"So, what'd you think?"
  5113. >You crane your neck around, looking eye to eye with him.
  5114. "Honestly? It's not great, but it's not nearly as bad as I thought. I still prefer hay or just about anything else though."
  5115. >Anon smiles to himself before tilting his head to the side.
  5116. >Reaching down, he gently grabs the tip of your horn and lifts it upward, using his other hand to keep the napkins in place.
  5117. "Um, what are you-"
  5118. >"You got a bit of build up, Star. Could that be from the transformation?"
  5119. >Your eyes turn upward, locking onto your horn.
  5120. >Sure enough, a bit of salt could be seen in the groove of your horn.
  5121. >Your brow furrows as you try to think of why-
  5122. "Oh, it was because of what I did to Discord."
  5123. >Anon had actually cleaned out the salt from other, similar incidents like that since it was easier to have somepony else do it.
  5124. >"Thanks for that, by the way."
  5125. >A ghostly apparition of Discord floats by, holding a newspaper.
  5126. >"I can't believe I'm not in the obituaries. I'm going to go complain."
  5127. >You hold up a hoof.
  5128. "I'm not sorry, but do you want me to-"
  5129. >Discord waves you off.
  5130. >"Didn't you hear me? I'm going to go complain."
  5131. >He floats off as Anon lets go of your horn, allowing you to float the salt shaker in your grasp closer.
  5132. >You sprinkle a bit on your food before taking a bite and...that's a bit better.
  5133. >Rainbow swallows her current bite and grabs the shaker out of the air.
  5134. >"Do you have any idea how hard it is to get all of that salt out of my feathers after a sonic rainboom? I guess awesomeness has to have a price, but that's, like, three or four hours of preening if I want to get it all."
  5135. >Anon jabs a finger at the floating ghost.
  5136. >"Are we not talking about that? Because that's a kind of freaky even I wasn't prepared for."
  5137. >Really?
  5138. >Pinkies antics are okay, but one ghost freaks him out?
  5139. >Rainbow puts her food down before putting an elbow on the table.
  5140. >"Speaking of freaky things, Scoots says you three showed up at the school yesterday."
  5141. >The entirety of your herd freezes, making Dash roll her eyes.
  5142. >"Don't you three start acting like that. I think it's a good thing. One of my teachers did something similar to me and look how I turned out. My parents may have whined about me getting tossed off a cloud, but now I'm the best flyer there is! I think you did good, but don't go pushing those stallions too far."
  5143. >Anon narrows his eyes at Dash.
  5144. >"Explain, oh blue flying one."
  5145. >"I'm saying that this is your free pass. The stallions in town are going to find you, lecture you, and then let you go. The next time you do this they probably won't be so nice."
  5146. >Anon slowly nods as you speak up.
  5147. "I'm guessing you've been on the receiving end of this a couple of times?"
  5148. >Rainbow nods, Trixie still muzzle deep in her food, but paying attention to the conversation.
  5149. >"They should go easier on Anon since he's another stallion. Plus, they probably think he's all damaged from being in the forest and stuff. Like some scary trees are going to keep this colt down."
  5150. >Rainbow chuckles as she holds up a hoof to Anon.
  5151. >Anon returns the laugh as he bumps the hoof.
  5152. >Once again, Anon shows that he has no bucks to give.
  5153. >You look over to Trixie, who was silently glowering at Dash, her food forgotten.
  5154. >You...are not entirely sure what to say to that.
  5155. >Or if you should say anything at all.
  5156. >"Ain't shit keeping me down, Top Cunt."
  5157. >"We'll see about that, Bottom Dick."
  5158. >Both laugh for a moment before returning to their food.
  5159. >Trixie scoots a bit closer to Anon, snuggling into his side.
  5160. >You look between the multiple plates of food, trying to collect your thoughts.
  5161. >Sure, questions had unpleasant answers with him, but can you really let this kind of thing sit inside of him?
  5162. >Was he okay, or was he just putting on a smile?
  5163. >Ugh
  5164. >More questions.
  5165. >You preferred it when you were all just horrible to eachother.
  5166. >Dash picks her head up from her food and points at you.
  5167. >"Hey, I do remember one thing. You got off work for what I'm guessing was you not being a pony. Does that mean you have to go back now?"
  5168. >...
  5169. >kkkrrrRRRRRRRR
  5170. _-_-_-_-_-_
  5171. >You are Twilight Sparkle.
  5172. >And why not pick up new hobbies?
  5173. >Those three spend quite a bit of time at bars.
  5174. >Sure you scolded them on it, but you've been wrong about things before.
  5175. >You had been summoned to meet with the two princesses, most likely for dinner.
  5176. >Your current plan was to simply go in and tell the truth.
  5177. >You wanted to try barhopping.
  5178. >This current bottle was nice, but you don't think it was getting the job done.
  5179. >Could you even get drunk?
  5180. >You knew for a fact you were much sturdier since you became an alicorn.
  5181. >You tilt your head back, trying to drink as much as possible and ignoring the guard as she opened the door for you.
  5182. >"We are telling you sister, this type of thing not only needs to be addressed now, but should have-Sparkle!"
  5183. >You hold up a wing to forestall anymore complaints from Luna.
  5184. >This is ignored, however, as the bottle is pulled from your lips in a blue glow.
  5185. "Hey! I was-"
  5186. >"This is a five oh two Whinny. This is not something one uses to, as the foals say, get krunk."
  5187. >You want to be mad.
  5188. >But hearing Princess 'We are the Night' Luna say 'krunk' actually lifted your spirits a bit.
  5189. >Celestia steps forward with a look of concern on her face as Luna sips from the bottle.
  5190. >"Twilight, I know you aren't one to drink. Please, sit down and let's talk about this."
  5191. >Luna stomps a hoof as a piece of parchment floats off the table.
  5192. >"As we should! Your fanatical guard may have revealed interesting information, but they have been discovered."
  5193. >You sigh.
  5194. >Guess you'll try barhopping another time.
  5195. "What happened?"
  5196. >Celestia smiles softly at you.
  5197. >"Anonymous, just for a moment, left Ponyville."
  5198. >You nod.
  5199. "So the small guard contingent followed him."
  5200. >"Yes."
  5201. "And they were found?"
  5202. >Celestia shifts ever so slightly, her mask trying it's best not to break.
  5203. >"Most likely."
  5204. >...
  5205. >You turn to Luna.
  5206. "If I wanted to get krunk, what kind of liquor should I drink? Is it something about the alcohol percentages or should I just try to drown myself?"
  5207. >A golden glow snaps Lunas mouth shut, preemptively silencing her answer.
  5208. "Got it. Just going to go and drown myself."
  5209. >You turn to leave, but are dragged back in the same golden glow.
  5210. >Celestia sets you down in front of her, a determined expression on her face.
  5211. >"Twilight. I know for a fact you are stronger than this. You can't let a few bumps in the road wear you down."
  5212. >You laugh.
  5213. >It is not out of happiness.
  5214. "A few bumps? After everything I've been through, I think I have a right to drink a little bit! Maybe bend the rules a bit! That bit with Chancellor Neighsay? That was me filling in a bump. Or driving around the bump, I don't know! I just-"
  5215. >You sit on the ground as you start to slowly rub your temples.
  5216. "I'm tired. I don't know why I opened that school, maybe I did it because you have a school or maybe I honestly thought it would help spread Harmony across the world. I thought that, maybe, a herd could help take some of the pressure off, but due to these laws I can't join them. And now I need to go back and explain everything."
  5217. >You sniffle as two white wings wrap around you.
  5218. "I'm sorry for yelling at you."
  5219. >Celestia hums, gently running a hoof down your back.
  5220. >"Letting off some pressure is fine, Twilight. Just be sure you know who can take it."
  5221. >Luna scoffs.
  5222. >"So many that are so easily offended these days. We told a stallion that his fetlocks were unshorn and he started yelling about rape for some reason."
  5223. >Celestia pulls a wing back so that she can better look at her sister.
  5224. >"Well, did you pick him up to look at his fetlocks? Also, fetlocks are fine that way now."
  5225. >"...How could you let this happen to our nation, sister?"
  5226. >You push away from Celestia and use your magic to pull the letter over.
  5227. "I need to explain this to him anyway, but how did this team get found? I thought they were the best trackers in the guard."
  5228. >Luna waves a hoof.
  5229. >"'Tis what we were discussing before your arrival, Sparkle. You're brother was in the guard, was he not?"
  5230. >You nod.
  5231. "Yes, what does that have to do with anything?"
  5232. >"What is one of the most important edicts in the Day Guard? Regarding armor in particular."
  5233. >You think back to your brothers guide book.
  5234. >You had read it dozens of times, sometimes even tucking him in and reading it to him.
  5235. >...
  5236. >You were both too old for you to do that.
  5237. >Shaking your head, you think back on the section regarding armor.
  5238. "Um, armor must be expertly polished to better reflect Her glorious incan-he saw them because they were shiny, didn't he?"
  5239. >Luna shoves a hoof at her sister.
  5240. >"This is why thestrals exist! We did not quell our followers worship of Us and they gave Us their body and soul in ways we could not imagine. Now you have the same type of worshipers, another princess being among their number."
  5241. >You scrunch up.
  5242. "I do not-"
  5243. >"Celestia has more rolls of fat than a baker does of bread."
  5244. "YOU TAKE THAT BACK, YOU-ahem. You may have a point."
  5245. >Celestia seems to find the ceiling very interesting as Luna grumbles.
  5246. >"We shall talk about this later, sister. Keep reading, Sparkle. His antics are amusing."
  5247. >Oh, that doesn't sound good.
  5248. >Your eyes turn to the page and start scanning.
  5249. "So the three of them rode the combined wolf into the forest where...he made some blue flowers glow?"
  5250. >Celestia clears her throat.
  5251. >"Whether you join the herd or not, this is something we truly need cleared up. The team could not check the flowers and keep up with him, so we don't know what it is."
  5252. >Don't you know about blue flowers in the Everfree?
  5253. >That sounds familiar, but you'll worry about it later.
  5254. >Thankfully Starlight was there so you can get answers out of her.
  5255. >If she'll even talk to you once the truth comes out.
  5256. >You certainly wouldn't want to talk to a mare who had been spying on your stallion.
  5257. "At which point, the team lost sight of him where-ugh. He'd do this with me when I tried to follow him. He'd hide, I'd panic, and I'd find him an hour later somewhere super obvious. It even says that the team initiated a small scramble once he disappeared."
  5258. >Luna is currently a ponified grin.
  5259. >"By all means, keep going."
  5260. >Your eyes turn back to the paper and you're not sure if you're mad at yourself, the guards, or Anon.
  5261. "It's uneventful until the teams supply mare got separated from the group. Once she returned, music could be heard playing from the wolf, making tracking easier...daughter of a bastard."
  5262. >Luna chuckles.
  5263. >"He was very kind to guide the lost soldier mares back home."
  5264. >You roll the letter up and point it at the princess of the night.
  5265. "That castle has some very weird acoustics, let me tell you. It took him about a week to understand how it works, which I still don't despite how long I've lived there, and he used it to sneak cookies out of the kitchen. COOKIES!"
  5266. >You look over to Celestia as Luna starts laughing.
  5267. "It's not even that I wouldn't let him have them. He would just make some noise to get somepony out of the kitchen and grab them while they were gone. Sometimes he'd even run us in circles by making little noises. I think he was doing that for fun. I finally found out it was him when I walked into his room one day and found all of the packages!"
  5268. >You think one of the noises was him imitating an Ursa Minor.
  5269. >Celestia puts a hoof to her mouth as Lunas laughter louder.
  5270. >"Well-snrk-let's continue, shall we? I remember you saying you couldn't join their herd. Why is that?"
  5271. >You breathe.
  5272. >Truly breathe.
  5273. >You shakily push yourself up onto your back hooves, wrapping Celestia in a hug.
  5274. "Thank you. For helping me through this."
  5275. >Celestia gives you a prolonged nuzzle as she speaks softly.
  5276. >"I would do this for any of my friends."
  5277. >A friend.
  5278. >What you needed wasn't a drink, but a friend to talk to.
  5279. >You nod before returning to four hooves.
  5280. "Simply put, I can't. End of story. The nobles pushed so that royalty can only be in a noble only herd. Cadence is fine since she's not actually in a herd. But then things get frustrating. There's some odd law saying that reformed villains are fine. This means that Trixie and Starlight are fine to herd with, but I can't herd with Anon since he hasn't done anything. I thought it would be a little issue at first, but I can't seem to get around it."
  5281. >Luna rolls her eyes.
  5282. >"That second law is yours, isn't it, sister?"
  5283. >Celestia stares at her sister for a moment before nodding.
  5284. >"Yes, it is. Is there an issue with that?"
  5285. >Luna throws a hoof at her sister.
  5286. >"Schemes and cake!"
  5287. >"Well, excuse me for trying to find a way around the nobles nonsense."
  5288. >"Ssssscheeeeeemes."
  5289. >"Oh hush, Miss Edgy McEdgeface."
  5290. >You clamp both princesses mouths shut with your magic.
  5291. >It was kind of amusing, but not what you needed right now.
  5292. >It actually reminded you of your arguments with your brother.
  5293. >'Oh Twily, I can defend myself. Just watch me get mind controlled by this changeling queen.'
  5294. >There were some initial incidents with Cadence when she first started dating Shining, but her feathers grew back and you two both laughed it off.
  5295. >...
  5296. >Is that why you weren't told about the wedding earlier?
  5297. >You'll find out later.
  5298. "Okay, ladies. Please try to remember that the last time you two had an argument, the map sent Starlight."
  5299. >Both mares look at eachother before slowly nodding.
  5300. >You release the magic, letting the mares speak again.
  5301. "Still wish it sent me."
  5302. >Celestias horn glows before a small stack of papers appears.
  5303. >"I knew you would have this issue, Twilight. I probably should have warned you I was taking these measures so we could have avoided unnecessary drama."
  5304. >She sets the papers down on the table as you grumble quietly.
  5305. >Unnecessary drama?
  5306. >How about we try no drama?
  5307. >You step forward and lift up the first sheet.
  5308. "Villain reforma-Princess Celestia, you can't be serious."
  5309. >She nods as Luna swirls the bottle in her grasp.
  5310. >"I am. Not only did his actions on 'Darling Day' technically qualify him as a villain, but we are still sending aid to the changelings for what those three did to their hive."
  5311. >You wrap a hoof over your muzzle as Luna starts laughing again.
  5312. "Nopony got hurt there, those were...honest accidents. On both occasions."
  5313. >Celestia clears her throat, trying to get her sisters attention and failing.
  5314. >"Yes, well the third floor of the hive is still being rebuilt and those three are still banned from entering any changeling territory. As for the 'Darling Day' incident, we are still short on the national ice cream supply and, well, you know what happened to your school."
  5315. >"Oh, We think We shall come with you, Sparkle. If for no other reason than to find some decent entertainment."
  5316. >Your glare at Luna, a low growl escaping you.
  5317. >He is not some dancing monkey for her to laugh at.
  5318. >You close your eyes, pushing back the anger that her comment caused.
  5319. >But she is his friend.
  5320. >Lunas laughter slows as she turns to face you.
  5321. >She hums, looking you up and down.
  5322. >"There is that fire, Sparkle. Mayhaps a bit too much of it."
  5323. >You don't know what she means and right now you don't care.
  5324. >You readjust your wings as you stare her down.
  5325. "You-"
  5326. >"We told you not to ask Us for relationship advice not long ago, since We are not yet accustomed to modern etiquette. However, We do believe We have one helpful piece of advice for you."
  5327. >Celestia snaps her sisters mouth shut again.
  5328. >"Twilight, please remember that if you sue her, you're technically suing yourself since you're also royalty."
  5329. >Luna shoves her sisters magic off with her own and continues speaking.
  5330. >"As We were saying, herds nowadays are all about the stallion. Stallion this, stallion that, oh no the stallion got dirty, the world is coming to and end."
  5331. >Luna snorts, rolling her eyes before looking to her sister.
  5332. >"You are fixing this."
  5333. >"I don't need to fix anything! All stallions are kings and should be treated as such."
  5334. >"When Sparkle is gone, We are going to kick you ever so hard in the vagina."
  5335. >Luna turns back to you as you scrunch at her.
  5336. >You may have a problem with Celestia worship, but that doesn't mean you're happy with Luna mistreating her.
  5337. >"Before our banishment, a herd was a herd, not simply a means to polish a stallions cock. If one in the herd were to feel pain or woe, then all would feel it. In this same vein, the herd would move forth to uplift and support its members in dire times. We believe that you need support, Sparkle. And once you get your level head again, you will do the rest of them a great deal of good."
  5338. >Celestia picks up the bottle that had been set on the table at some point and offers it to her sister.
  5339. >"Please drink this and don't talk anymore."
  5340. >Luna grabs the bottle and takes a dainty sip.
  5341. >"Tell Us We are wrong, sister."
  5342. >Celestia sighs as she turns to you.
  5343. >"She's right, she's just running that mouth a bit too much. You really do need somepony Twilight, and having Anon fill this out will put you in a herd."
  5344. >You look over at the smallish stack.
  5345. "Couldn't the nobles undo this law for royalty herding with reformed villains?"
  5346. >Celestia grins mischievously.
  5347. >"Not if they care about their property value. This law is something I snuck in when they pushed for something else. I figure when word gets out about this they'll be much more cautious about their demands. There's also the fact that this law is about five hundred years old, making it's removal incredibly difficult, once again, because of the nobility. I still don't know why they want the old laws in place, but maybe we can get things moving with this."
  5348. >You frown.
  5349. >You're not entirely sure how you feel about her using you as a kind of political pawn.
  5350. >Because a military pawn is so much better.
  5351. >...
  5352. >Shut up, you.
  5353. >You shake your head.
  5354. "How can I ask him to do this? I'm going to go down there, explain everything, and then hand him some paperwork saying HE is the bad mare. That's almost cruel. No, that /is/ cruel! I can't-"
  5355. >Celestia places a hoof on your shoulder.
  5356. >"I'm going to write a letter explaining everything. The only real part you played in this was keeping an eye on him, which probably helped keep him from doing even more damage. The only thing you need to explain is why you kept this from him. I understand your reasoning, but that was your choice, Twilight."
  5357. >Luna points at her sister with a wing.
  5358. >"We shall add something to the letter as well. We do not trust Glimmer to deliver a message."
  5359. >"Luna, this is a delicate matter and-"
  5360. >"We care not. He owes us a drink for all the work he put us through."
  5361. >You quirk an eyebrow.
  5362. "What work?"
  5363. >Luna rolls her eyes.
  5364. >"Head home, Sparkle. Find out for yourself."
  5365. >Oh.
  5366. >This can't be good.
  5367. >You raise a hoof.
  5368. "Did he-"
  5369. >"That was not a turn of phrase, Sparkle. A train leaves in an hour. Grab your things and leave."
  5370. >Celestia wraps her free wing back around you.
  5371. >"Sister, you can't-"
  5372. >"Yes, We can. And in this regard We must. She is driving herself to madness while you stand by and tell her everything will be fine. We-no, I shall not let this madness fester if you continue to coddle her as if she were a foal."
  5373. >You stand there, unmoving beneath Celestias wing.
  5374. >You...were driving yourself a little crazy, weren't you?
  5375. >Celestia presses her wings a bit tighter against you as she sighs.
  5376. >"I suppose you are right, sister. I've enjoyed the peace a bit too much and have wanted to simply let my-"
  5377. >She shakes her head.
  5378. >"Our ponies enjoy themselves. I still prefer a more compassionate approach, but..."
  5379. >Celestia turns down to face you.
  5380. >"Perhaps it is for the best that you got on that train. You can have dinner with us before you leave, of course."
  5381. >There are several flashes of light as your things appear next to the table.
  5382. >You nod as you pop all the items away into storage.
  5383. >Looking at the report, you decide to pop that away as well.
  5384. >You look at the two sister before chuckling to yourself.
  5385. "You two are really throwing me to the wolves. Or the wolf, in this case."
  5386. >Luna takes another sip of the Whinny and smirks.
  5387. >"Mayhaps he shall use more tongue than tooth when he eats you."
  5388. ----------
  5389. >You are Trixie.
  5390. >And you are upset.
  5391. >Possibly even bordering on mad.
  5392. >Never before has there been such an insult thrown upon you.
  5393. >Any lesser mare would have thrown their hoof down and demanded a duel.
  5394. >You are Trixie, however, so that means you are not a lesser mare.
  5395. >The reson for your frustration being that Starlight blew up the only taco place in town.
  5396. >Sure, she rebuilt it in about five seconds, but it's the principle of the matter.
  5397. >You're also pretty sure she cleaned out the grease from the griddle.
  5398. >Because of course you had to order another taco to see if it tasted the same.
  5399. >A taco isn't right if its contents aren't cooked in grease.
  5400. >You liked to ask for grilled onions in your taco so you can get a bit more grease.
  5401. >Along with being upset, you were slightly confused.
  5402. >Looking across the table, Spike was surrounded by seven creatures that seemed fit for Tartarus.
  5403. >This was the first time you had seen him, and them, since he ran off that morning for Twilight.
  5404. >Which was surprising, considering you live in the same castle.
  5405. >He was currently laying out the days plan for the demon ladies.
  5406. >Most were pony in form, but there was one very large green one that was built like Anon.
  5407. >Anon had started laughing once he had seen her before running to the kitchen.
  5408. >He had promptly returned with an onion and tossed it at her.
  5409. >She had simply popped the whole thing into her mouth, making Anon laugh harder.
  5410. >The wolves were currently in the dungeon, not locked in a cell, just in the dungeon itself.
  5411. >A pile of dirt had been hauled in so that the wolves could plant themselves.
  5412. >Every light in the corridor and in the dungeon itself had been snuffed out.
  5413. >A series of signs warned ponies about not making any light or sound when walking through the corridor.
  5414. >Anon had set all this up yesterday since rain was planned for last night.
  5415. >The last bits of the rain were tapering off now, which meant the wolves were still locked away.
  5416. >Of all the things they must have encountered, you don't know why rain would upset them.
  5417. >Although, not many will see you pulling your carriage in the rain.
  5418. >Starlight slams a hoof on the floor.
  5419. >"T-Trix. C-can't breathe."
  5420. >You ease up, if only a bit.
  5421. >She may have ruined your future taco-ventures, but she is still your herd sister.
  5422. >Starlight takes in a gasp of air as you look at the kitchen doors.
  5423. >He sure is taking awhile.
  5424. >But it is just him in there.
  5425. >Spike was busy running the school stuff so he couldn't help.
  5426. >Should you go help him?
  5427. >You're not very good at-
  5428. >"Was that necessary? Did you really have to choke me out for a taco shop that I blew up yesterday?"
  5429. >You don't bother looking at Starlight as you readjust your grip on her.
  5430. "Absolutely."
  5431. >"I hate you, Trix."
  5432. "Trixie loves you too, Starlight."
  5433. >Spike turns away from his group for a second.
  5434. >"You know, if he finds you two fighting there's going to be Tartarus to pay."
  5435. >One of the demons snorts and jabs him with an elbow.
  5436. >"Yeah yeah, pun not intended. But seriously, I think that's good for this morning. How about you girls get moving? School starts in an hour."
  5437. >The demons obediently start to file out of the dining hall.
  5438. >Are they not going to eat?
  5439. >Do they even need to eat?
  5440. >You feel sorry that they don't get to try Anons cooking.
  5441. >One of the more normal looking demons stays back, making its way towards Spike.
  5442. >He was a rather handsome stallion that made your head hurt to look at.
  5443. >At least you think he's a stallion.
  5444. >His form flickers when you look at him out of the corner of your eye.
  5445. >Maybe he had a glamour covering up something.
  5446. >"Hey, how about we-"
  5447. >BAP
  5448. >"Ow!"
  5449. >Spike waves the paper fan at him.
  5450. >"Get out of here."
  5451. >"I was just-"
  5452. >BAP
  5453. >"OW!"
  5454. >"Get!"
  5455. >You feel a bit better knowing that not even demon ladies are above getting bapped.
  5456. >Or demon lord?
  5457. >The stallion dashes out of the dining room as Spike sighs.
  5458. >He looks over to the two of you and smiles.
  5459. >"I am going to be so happy when Twilight gets back."
  5460. >Thinking back to yesterdays conversation with Rainbow, you nod.
  5461. "Did Twilight tell you why she had to leave?"
  5462. >Spike nods back as Starlight starts pushing against your grip.
  5463. >"She said there was official business in Canterlot. Wouldn't say a whole lot about what it was though."
  5464. >Starlight finally remembers she has magic and teleports next to Spike.
  5465. >Spike takes a slow sip of his drink as he looks up at her.
  5466. >"So she didn't tell you she was going to do some paperwork stuff so she could join our herd?"
  5467. >Spike takes another, slower sip before setting his drink down.
  5468. >"Explain."
  5469. >So that wasn't just Rainbow not paying attention.
  5470. >Starlight grins and gives Spike a nudge before pointing over to you.
  5471. >"This idiot over here invited her into the herd!"
  5472. >Does she really have to say it by insulting you?
  5473. >Sure you'd do the same, but you're Trixie.
  5474. >You're also great.
  5475. >And extremely powerful.
  5476. >Spike looks at you.
  5477. >The look becomes a stare.
  5478. >The stare becomes uncomfortable.
  5479. >You start to shift in your seat a second before Spike hops out of his.
  5480. >He sets a claw on Starlights withers and drags her with him.
  5481. >"Um, Spike-"
  5482. >"Shush."
  5483. >"Okay?"
  5484. >Spike marches Starlight all the way around the table to stand next to you.
  5485. >You shift in your seat.
  5486. "Are you-"
  5487. >You're silenced by a hug.
  5488. >It was a simple, warm hug.
  5489. >"Thank you."
  5490. >Spike moves over to Starlight and does the same, thanking her in the same way.
  5491. >He pulls back, setting his back against the table.
  5492. >A claw reaches up, quickly running across his face.
  5493. >"I don't know if you two have seen it, but something has really been eating her up for awhile. If you two-three can just put up with her for awhile then it'll do her a lot of good."
  5494. >...
  5495. >You're adding another crazy pony to the herd, aren't you?
  5496. >The kitchen doors swing open before you can say anything.
  5497. >"Alright, we've got break-"
  5498. >"Anon!"
  5499. >"Spike!"
  5500. >Spike shoves a pointed claw at Anon as he puts the first plate of food on the table.
  5501. >Starlight grabs the stack of plates off the cart while you grab the rest of the food.
  5502. >"Why didn't you tell me Twilight was joining your herd?!"
  5503. >Anon shrugs.
  5504. >"I thought she told you."
  5505. >"No! She's a mare, she doesn't-c'mon, bro. We're supposed to talk about these kinds of things. And it's Twilight. I don't even fully understand my relationship with her, but I know that if you mess this up I'm feeding you to Cerberus."
  5506. >You scrunch.
  5507. >Nopony is allowed to threaten your Anonymous.
  5508. >Anon scoffs.
  5509. >"Implying I wouldn't take that bitch to stab town. Wait, is it bitch or bitches? Does Cerberus have three vaginas? Is Cerberus even a bitch? Hehe, three heads."
  5510. >"Anon."
  5511. >"Spike."
  5512. >"This is not something-grrrr. Okay, listen."
  5513. >He points to you and Starlight.
  5514. >"You're good to them, right?"
  5515. >Anon looks to the two of you before turning back to Spike.
  5516. >"I want to say yes, but the honest answer is not really."
  5517. >Starlight nods as she looks over the array of food.
  5518. >"Yeah, you really need to relax with the...actually you just kind of need to relax."
  5519. >You put a hoof around Starlights neck.
  5520. "Do not listen to her, Anonymous. You are perfect the way you are."
  5521. >Anon points at you as Starlight tries to pull away.
  5522. >"Don't hurt her."
  5523. "Trixie is just teaching Starlight her place."
  5524. >Spike points at you as well.
  5525. >"See? Stuff like that is a no go if she joins. You're all going to be nice to her and start to settle down a bit."
  5526. >Starlight stops struggling to look at Spike.
  5527. >"Spike, have you not met us?"
  5528. >You nod with all the pride you have, which is quite a bit.
  5529. "Yes, Trixie is the alpha of this herd and will wrestle Twilight to ensure she knows her place."
  5530. >Anon pats Spike on the head before he can object.
  5531. >"Trix, she can so out magic you so much it's not even funny."
  5532. "That is why we will wrestle like true mares, with our hooves!"
  5533. >Spike turns to face Anon.
  5534. >"You-"
  5535. >"Dude, chill. Trix, you don't need to wrestle Twilight."
  5536. >You stick your glorious tuft out, letting all lesser mares know how much better you are.
  5537. "Trixie-"
  5538. >"Has food in front of her and isn't eating."
  5539. >You look down at the table, seeing that Anonymous is quite right.
  5540. >How could you forget the food?
  5541. >You put it there yourself.
  5542. >Starlight teleports across the table again, leaving you to fill a plate for yourself.
  5543. >You start grabbing food before looking to you left than your right.
  5544. >Nopony is snuggling you.
  5545. >You want snuggles.
  5546. >Starlight looks up at Anon.
  5547. >"Why are we having tacos for breakfast?"
  5548. >...
  5549. >You and Anon lock eyes.
  5550. >A moment later, he marches over to you and sits down.
  5551. >You have acquired breakfast snuggles.
  5552. >You are a happy mare.
  5553. >"Doesn't even know what a breakfast taco is. I am so disappointed in you, Starlight."
  5554. "As is Trixie."
  5555. >Starlight sighs in what is what is probably stupidity, but sounds more like annoyance.
  5556. >You know because she makes annoyed sounds a lot.
  5557. >"That's not what I'm talking about. I'm saying that we had tacos for lunch yesterday and now we're having them for breakfast today. But what really bugs me is that you made the biscuits too. Tacos and biscuits don't go together, Anon!"
  5558. "Biscuits are just breakfast sopapillas. And maybe tacos are just so great that we can have them every other day, because everyday would be too much."
  5559. >Anon gives you a nudge.
  5560. >"You don't even eat them right, you blue fuzz ball."
  5561. "Trixie eats them the way nature intended."
  5562. >"How-"
  5563. "With her muzzle."
  5564. >"...I'm going to beat you with a stick."
  5565. >Starlight rips off the kitchen door and floats it over to Anon.
  5566. >"Will this work?"
  5567. >You snicker and start folding the tacos open as Spike steps forward.
  5568. >"Okay, is that out of your system?"
  5569. >Starlight puts a hoof up.
  5570. >"I could go for a bit more."
  5571. >"Yeah, but you're technically supposed to go back to work. And guess who's in charge of the school right now."
  5572. >Starlight slowly puts her hoof down at Spikes challenge, the door slowly setting itself against the wall.
  5573. >Spike nods.
  5574. >"Okay. Now you three-"
  5575. >"Bowling."
  5576. >Spike looks utterly dumbfounded at Anons interruption.
  5577. >"What?"
  5578. >"You. Me. Bowling. I'm thinking-"
  5579. >"Anon."
  5580. >"Spike."
  5581. >Spike points towards the kitchen.
  5582. >"You know that's mine, right? This may be Twilights castle, but this is my home. If I say you can't use that kitchen, you can't."
  5583. >Anon goes silent as he looks between the kitchen and Spike.
  5584. >You really don't want to lose Anons cooking.
  5585. >Maybe this was a bluff.
  5586. >Finally, Anon throws his hands up in defeat.
  5587. >"Alright, alright. I'm serious about bowling, but before we get into the real issue, are you doing alright? I know that there's a lot to manage with the school, but it can't be getting to you already."
  5588. >Spike pinches the bridge of his nose, staring at the table as he speaks.
  5589. >"There-there's a new student. I don't know why, but she will occasionally just pick a random subject and start complaining about it. Sometimes she'll even start screeching. As in she will throw herself on the ground and just start screeching. The subject never really has to do with anything relevant, she just starts screeching and complaining at random."
  5590. >"Is she a pony?"
  5591. >Spike nods at Anon, still keeping his eyes on the table.
  5592. >"Get her some carrot tendies."
  5593. >Ooo
  5594. >You tap Anon with a hoof.
  5595. "Trixie would like tendies."
  5596. >Anon pats you on the head as Spike throws his claws up.
  5597. >"Really?!"
  5598. >"Trust me, dude. Tendies will calm her down. It works with the autists on Earth and it works with the autists here."
  5599. >What's an autist?
  5600. >Are you an autist?
  5601. >No, you are the Great and Powerful Trixie.
  5602. >Spike rolls his eyes as he moves to sit next to Starlight.
  5603. >"I've lived with Twilight all my life, Anon. Don't you think I've tried carrot tenders already?"
  5604. >Spike pokes Starlight in her meager tuft.
  5605. >"Go sit with them."
  5606. >Starlight quickly glances at you before turning back to Spike.
  5607. >"She-"
  5608. >"Go sit on the other side of Anon. Geez, I'm dealing with foals already."
  5609. >Starlight grumbles as she teleports across the table.
  5610. >She teleports her food to be with her a second later.
  5611. >"Okay, head mare Spike. You may begin."
  5612. "If you keep rolling your eyes they'll pop out."
  5613. >The roll of his eyes finally stops as Spike takes a deep breath.
  5614. >"Alright, look. I've been pushing and bugging her to join your herd for awhile."
  5615. >He has?
  5616. >"I want to make sure everything goes perfectly. What's your plan for when she joins?"
  5617. >Plan?
  5618. >Anon looks between you and Starlight.
  5619. >"We're supposed to plan this out?"
  5620. "Trixie didn't know herding required planning."
  5621. >Starlight pokes her head around Anon.
  5622. >"It really doesn't-"
  5623. >"But if you're going to add a mare like Twilight, some planning would help ease her in."
  5624. >Anon nods at Spikes interjection.
  5625. >"Yeah, she does like her lists and stuff."
  5626. >Spike shakes his head.
  5627. >"I'd say don't get me started, but she beat her love of lists into me too."
  5628. >His eyes shift between the three of you and you can almost feel him planning.
  5629. >"Alright, here's something. She probably won't pop up until next week since she'll want to do everything in at least triplicate. Although, I could see her tripling that with this being her first herd, so she won't pop up for a good while. And then tripling that before going over all of it to find any inconsistencies. This means you have some time. Still, Starlight has the day off and the three of you are going to figure this out."
  5630. >Starlight pumps a hoof.
  5631. >"Score!"
  5632. >Spike snaps his claws, getting her attention.
  5633. >"Don't think this is a free day, Starlight. You three are going to work out a plan and come up with something to ease her into this. If she finds out you didn't go back to work today, we're going to tell Twilight that I was taking a precautionary period because of Discord."
  5634. >POP
  5635. >"Oh, why hello-"
  5636. >"Not now, Discord."
  5637. >Discord huffs and starts floating away.
  5638. >"Fine, be that way."
  5639. >Anon points at Discord as his incorporeal form floats through a wall.
  5640. >"Is he permanently like that or..."
  5641. >Starlight shrugs.
  5642. >"He can fix himself and I kind of can too, but I need a shot. Maybe he just likes being like that."
  5643. >A thought occurs to you.
  5644. "Nightmare Night is coming up. Maybe he's just getting into the holiday spirit...pun intended."
  5645. >Spike rolls his eyes.
  5646. >"Okay, that's enough about Discord-"
  5647. >POP
  5648. >Spike drums his claws on the table top as he scowls at a very confused Discord.
  5649. >"Um. I don't know-Oh! I left my alerts on. Let me just turn those off."
  5650. >Discord starts floating away again as he pulls out a banana and starts poking it.
  5651. >Anon leans back in his seat and waves at him.
  5652. >"Yo, Disco! We still on for guys night tonight?"
  5653. >Discord turns around, pocketing the now vibrating banana.
  5654. >"Of course. Why wouldn't we be?"
  5655. >Anon purses his lips as he stares through Discords ghostly form.
  5656. >"...Yeah, okay. I was just thinking we should try something different. What do you think of bowling?"
  5657. >Spike slaps a claw against his face as Discord rubs his chin.
  5658. >"Well, I would have to possess the ball."
  5659. >"Wouldn't that be cheating?"
  5660. >"Yes, yes it would...I'm in for bowling. I'll pick up Macintosh at the appropriate time. Don't you two be late!"
  5661. >Discord chuckles as he passes through the wall.
  5662. >Spike slowly turns back to the three of you and gently grips the table.
  5663. >"We are not saying his name again. Agreed?"
  5664. >POP
  5665. >"Whose name?"
  5666. >"DISCORD!"
  5667. >Discord giggles like a school colt as he flies out of the room.
  5668. >Spike slams his claws on the table.
  5669. >"Twilight. Plan. Start working on one. If I stay any longer I'm going to be late."
  5670. >Spike grabs a taco and starts munching on it as he heads out of the room.
  5671. >Your herd looks to eachother, trying to think of...something.
  5672. >Anon is the first to speak.
  5673. >"Sooo..."
  5674. >Starlight grabs a bit of her own food.
  5675. >"We're adding a pony to the herd and none of us put any thought into this."
  5676. >"Now, to be fair, none of us bother with thinking about anything, Star."
  5677. >You rub your chin as you stare at the split open taco.
  5678. >...
  5679. "Trixie can't think on an empty stomach."
  5680. >Anon snaps as you start eating.
  5681. >"That's good! The two of us bring Starlight lunch anyways, so it won't be any trouble adding another lunch to the box. Getting the four of us together for every meal would be good...which we should have done anyways."
  5682. >He turns over to Starlight.
  5683. >"So you two work at the school while Trixie and I-"
  5684. >"You two don't do anything, Anon."
  5685. >Anon gets defensive as you pull some salsa over.
  5686. >"I totally work around here! Do you know how many sheets I have to change? And every single one of those pillow cases! Plus, there was that one time that you tried to use a butt pl-"
  5687. >A glowing biscuit flies into Anons mouth, cutting off the rather amusing tale.
  5688. >You'd be laughing right now, but food is more important.
  5689. >You should get some ping pong balls for Starlight this Hearthswarming.
  5690. >She certainly showed that she could shoot things from both ends.
  5691. >Starlight takes a biscuit for herself and starts to split it open.
  5692. >Anon takes a bite out of his own before grabbing something off of the table as he looks at you.
  5693. >"You know how you said they were like breakfast sopapillas? Well I was thinking the same thing, so I grabbed some cinnamon butter."
  5694. >Your herd sister flicks an ear in annoyance.
  5695. >"I still don't think they mix well...didn't you say Twilight taught you how to cook?"
  5696. >Anon nods, his butter knife clashing against Starlights for the cinnamon butter.
  5697. >"Up until she tossed me to the pink one, what about it?"
  5698. >"Well, she could help you cook. I know how Spike defends the kitchen, but he'll probably let her in there if it lets things go smoother."
  5699. >Anon grunts, his knife quickly changing hands as he wraps his arm around her and begins to lift her up.
  5700. >"Hey! What are you-"
  5701. >"You dissed my biscuits! Now you must be punished! Also, that's a pretty good idea."
  5702. >"Anon, put me dow-wait, wait, wait don't-"
  5703. >"THPBBTTPPBTBPT!"
  5704. >You smile as you pull away from your food.
  5705. >Anons raspberrys were fun, but he prefered to go for the softer parts of a mares belly.
  5706. >Or, more accurately, the more sensitive parts.
  5707. >"Hnng. Anon, you can't keep doing that"
  5708. >Anon grins.
  5709. >"And why is that, Star?"
  5710. >"Because you'd have to clean up the mess."
  5711. >Anon lowers Starlight, giving her a light kiss on her forehead.
  5712. >"I'll just use you as a mop. Okay, so that's two things, but they're both food...We eat a lot."
  5713. >You put a hoof up.
  5714. "We also exercise. Or Starlight sleeps while we exercise."
  5715. >"Buck you, dyke."
  5716. "Trixie is only a dyke for you. No homo."
  5717. >"You can't say you're a dyke and then immediately say no homo! It doesn't work like that, Trixie."
  5718. >Anon pats Starlight on the back, trying to calm her down.
  5719. >"Not even going to touch that. I doubt working out is her kind of thing...Would she want to read us bedtime stories? That seems like a thing she'd do."
  5720. >Starlight groans as she reaches for the butter.
  5721. >"She totally read me bedtime stories after she dragged me back here. They were all about how Harmony was good and Celestia was great and just thinking about it makes me want to gag."
  5722. >Anon chuckles.
  5723. >"Well, if that's how you feel, I've got something you can gag on."
  5724. "Trixie calls dibs!"
  5725. >Anon starts to laugh as Starlight huffs.
  5726. >"Fine. I hope you choke on it."
  5727. >You both lean back, glaring at eachother across Anons back.
  5728. >It lasts only for a second, however, as both of you start laughing.
  5729. >Anon wraps each of his arms around the two of you.
  5730. >"You two are so weird about that stuff, but I wouldn't have you any other way."
  5731. >You nuzzle into his side, finally grabbing a biscuit for yourself.
  5732. >You start buttering it as Starlight nuzzles into Anon as well.
  5733. >"Is this love, or is this just stupidity?"
  5734. "There is no reason it can't be both."
  5735. >Both of your herdmates chuckle as the three of you collectively munch on biscuits.
  5736. >You don't see why Starlight was complaining.
  5737. >Sopapillas are wonderful even if they aren't sopapillas.
  5738. >Anon swallows his current bite before turning to you.
  5739. >"Do you have any idea what she'd like to do with you?"
  5740. >You put your biscuit down as you try to think of what the two of you have in common.
  5741. >Magic, sure, but the two of you took different routes on it.
  5742. >You actually don't think you have much in common with her.
  5743. >Well...
  5744. >There was one thing, but not even Anon or Starlight knew about it.
  5745. >Thinking back to what you know of her, there may actually be a couple of things.
  5746. >Two napkins light up in a soft glow and float over to your herdmates, gently booping them.
  5747. "Trixie can think of one thing. For certain. But you two must promise not to tease her about it."
  5748. >Anon nudges Starlight before pointing to you.
  5749. >"You going to play nice for her?"
  5750. >Starlight leans around Anon.
  5751. >"Can I tease you when we're alone in our room?"
  5752. "So long as Trixie gets to make fun of your tuft after."
  5753. >Starlight scrunches up, something that you love seeing her do.
  5754. >"You always make fun of my tuft, you-"
  5755. >click
  5756. >Three heads turn towards the door.
  5757. >There, standing in the doorway, was Twilight Sparkle.
  5758. >Guess Spike was wrong about her taking awhile.
  5759. >"H-hi, you three. Can we talk?"
  5760. ----------
  5761. >You are Twilight Sparkle.
  5762. >And is this really what you want?
  5763. >Sure they've been-
  5764. >Okay, two out of three have been nice to you.
  5765. >But you and Trixie agreed to be nicer to eachother!
  5766. >And you and Starlight have even worse history than you and Trixie and how is this going to go right?
  5767. >Are you just going along with this because it's the only available herd?
  5768. >Well, there were plenty of available herds for you, they just wanted things from you that you could not or would not provide.
  5769. >Should you just say no thanks?
  5770. >Would they be upset if you did that?
  5771. >Do they actually like you?
  5772. >Do you actually like them?
  5773. >Those are two very important question.
  5774. >Both of which mattered, but not nearly as much as what you have to say to Anon.
  5775. >Air pours slowly out of your nose.
  5776. >In almost every work of fiction you read, the author would describe dread as a pit forming in the stomach.
  5777. >You were upset that it was a real thing.
  5778. >It was supposed to be fiction.
  5779. >The reason why you felt it right now was very clear to you.
  5780. >You were scared.
  5781. >Scared of how he'll take...
  5782. >All of this.
  5783. >That he has guards following him.
  5784. >That there were monsters very much like him.
  5785. >That he will have to register himself as a reformed villain for YOU to join THEIR herd.
  5786. >You're probably missing something, but you'll deal with that later.
  5787. >Starlight waves a hoof, the other two casually eating their food.
  5788. >"Are you going to come back to this plane of reality, or should I keep eating?"
  5789. >Your eyes snap over to her and then down to your hooves.
  5790. "Uh, how long have I been standing here?"
  5791. >Anon tilts his head back as he tries to swallow his current bite.
  5792. >He points at the wall above you as he responds.
  5793. >"About five minutes. We didn't want to interrupt your planning session or whatever you were doing."
  5794. >You look up, trying to see what he is pointing at and see a clock.
  5795. "I don't remember that being there."
  5796. >"Yeah, sorry. I hope you don't mind, but there wasn't one in here and I figured the dining room is a good place for one. I used magical Glim-Glam glue to hang it."
  5797. >Ah.
  5798. >That's what you forgot.
  5799. >He lost himself in that forest, in more ways than one, and has an obsession with keeping time.
  5800. >You also may be at fault for that as well as a good number of his scars.
  5801. >Restoring the Elements was necessary, but there's no doubt he got hurt because of you.
  5802. >There was also a chance that he nearly died because of you.
  5803. >Your tongue flicks out as you try to lick your lips.
  5804. >It doesn't do much with how dry your mouth is.
  5805. >Starlight turns to face Anon.
  5806. >"How did you make me attaching a clock to a wall sound dirty?"
  5807. >"I didn't. You just need to get you head out of the gutter."
  5808. >Anon waves you forward.
  5809. >He had that wailing bones weapon with him.
  5810. >He seemed to be glued to the thing since he got it back.
  5811. >"C'mere, Twi. How'd the trip go?"
  5812. >Is he messing with you?
  5813. >The report made it seem pretty clear that the guards were found out.
  5814. >But right now he's...
  5815. >He's just being nice.
  5816. >After you admit everything-
  5817. >Trixie grumbles to herself as she stands up.
  5818. >The other two watch her, but continue eating.
  5819. >Your eyes stay on her as she makes her way around the table and over to you.
  5820. >"You think far too much, Twilight."
  5821. >She marches behind you and promptly pokes your flank with her horn.
  5822. "Ow! Hey, let me-OW!"
  5823. >"Go sit and stop overthinking this."
  5824. >You'd say that is good advice, but when a horn is jabbing you in the flank, you're not exactly a happy filly.
  5825. >The horn jabs you again, making you teleport across the room.
  5826. >You find yourself next to the table, on the opposite side of it from Anon and Starlight.
  5827. >Your wings shuffle about as you turn back to Trixie.
  5828. "There! Are you happy now?"
  5829. >"No. Trixie was warm and had food in front of her. Now she has to trot back to her seat."
  5830. >Anon and Starlight chuckle to themselves as Trixie starts moving.
  5831. >You were kind of mad at her, but a literal poke in the flank was exactly what you needed.
  5832. >You actually wrote twelve speeches and rehearsed every single one of them.
  5833. >Then you passed out on the train and forgot all of it.
  5834. >Maybe it's best to start with what he knows.
  5835. >You sit down before the guards report appears next to you.
  5836. >It floats gently over to Anon, who wears a look of interest.
  5837. >Starlight seems intrigued as well, while Trixie simply retakes her seat and continues eating.
  5838. "Could you read this?"
  5839. >Anon gently grabs the report out of the air and looks at you as he starts to unroll it.
  5840. >"Is this about you joining our herd?"
  5841. "I-it's part of it."
  5842. >Starlight puts a hoof on Anons hand, keeping him from fully unrolling the letter.
  5843. >"This isn't something messed up about Anon, is it?"
  5844. >You shift around in your seat.
  5845. "Well-"
  5846. >"Because if it is, please let me go get a drink first. I'll be here for you Anon, but sometimes mama just needs her Whiskey."
  5847. >Trixie quickly swallows her bite, allowing her to speak.
  5848. >"You have terrible taste. Vodka is much better."
  5849. >"Oh, buck you. I would happily drink the cheapest stuff from the liquor store before I would take a single shot of Vodka."
  5850. >You're not sure how to feel about them getting off track already.
  5851. >On one hoof, really?
  5852. >On the other, it's a consistent calamity that can be understood and predicted.
  5853. >Not to mention that the three of them have this odd way of making you enjoy their chaos.
  5854. >A hand wraps around each of their muzzles, effectively silencing them.
  5855. >"Alright, girls. That's-Trixie did you seriously just lick my hand?"
  5856. >Sure enough, a tongue could be seen flicking past Anons fingers.
  5857. >You think she's trying to get the little bit of egg stuck on his hand.
  5858. >You look over to Starlight who-
  5859. >Oh.
  5860. >"Starlight, we're going to have serious issues if you don't stop that."
  5861. >Whereas Trixie was simply licking, Starlight was sucking.
  5862. >And not as in she was doing something bad.
  5863. >No, scratch that.
  5864. >She was certainly doing something bad.
  5865. >Her eyes lock with yours, daring you to say anything.
  5866. >She even winks at you!
  5867. >When you don't respond she closes her eyes and moans into the mouthful of fingers.
  5868. >Anon tries his best to wrestle his fingers from the rather impressive-
  5869. >No!
  5870. >This is an inappropriate way to treat a stallion and you, being the princess of friendship, can't let one of your friends treat another one of your friends like this.
  5871. >You light up your horn, trying to think of-
  5872. >Another louder moan turns you on and your horn off.
  5873. >Maybe you could watch a bit more.
  5874. >She wraps her hooves around Anons arm, a string of saliva dribbling onto the floor.
  5875. >Anon, seemingly done with her antics, pulls his arm upward before bringing his face down towards her neck.
  5876. >It works especially well, considering in two flashes of light Starlight is sitting next to you before he could make contact.
  5877. >"What did I tell you about biting there?!"
  5878. >Ah.
  5879. >You remember the rather unfortunate conversation the two of you had because of a series of bite marks.
  5880. >She had, somehow, gotten to work without anypony noticing them.
  5881. >The pony who did notice was a bit too young to explain why they were there.
  5882. >...
  5883. >You wonder how it would feel for Anon to bite you.
  5884. >"I told you that one time was an accident! And you made me! Look at poor Twilight. I think she came just from watching that. What were you doing?"
  5885. >Starlight gives you a nuzzle for just a second.
  5886. >A second later, she sniffs the air.
  5887. >"I, uh, think you're right about that, Anon. And I was just giving my future herd sis a show."
  5888. >You don't even care that she knows, if you play your cards right she might do something similar to you one day.
  5889. >How that would apply to a vagina, you don't know, but you're willing to learn.
  5890. >That is, however, if you even get in the herd.
  5891. >You sigh before picking up the report Anon dropped.
  5892. "Before-you dropped this in salsa...Are these breakfast tacos?"
  5893. >Anon nods.
  5894. >"Spike had to leave before he could eat all of his share, so you're free to have it."
  5895. >You look at the plate in front of you.
  5896. >The donut you had on the way here was good, but that was all you had.
  5897. >He was always like that.
  5898. >So nice and-
  5899. >"And before you ask, if you don't eat it, it's going to the equine trash compactor."
  5900. >Trixie finally stops licking Anons hand as she gives him a grumpy look.
  5901. >"Trixie resents that remark."
  5902. >"I never said it was you."
  5903. >"It was implied."
  5904. >And that.
  5905. >He'd make you food and give you a snarky remark about something.
  5906. >It would be nice to have his affection officially directed at you.
  5907. >But he always seemed to know when he crossed the line with these two.
  5908. >The report is ruined so you might as well swap over to Celestias letter.
  5909. >It pops into existence and starts to float over to Anon before Starlight yanks it back.
  5910. >"Hold on. There's still food over there, so there's a good chance this one will get ruined too. Let me read it."
  5911. >You open your mouth to object before slowly closing it.
  5912. >This affects all of them, not just Anon.
  5913. >Starlight unseals the letter as you open one of the tacos, pulling out the shredded cheese before closing it again.
  5914. >She starts reading as the other two talk about what they should do for Trixies next show.
  5915. >You take a bite, but chew slowly as you wait for her reaction.
  5916. >You hope she-
  5917. >"Celestia damnit!"
  5918. >You jump, nearly choking on your food as Starlight turns the letter around to face Anon.
  5919. >"You were right, you-you...guh! I can't even think of an insult right now, I'm so bucking mad!"
  5920. >You shrink back a bit as Anon chuckles and tries to get a look at the letter.
  5921. >"And what was I right about?"
  5922. >Starlight jabs a hoof at Trixie.
  5923. >"She won the bet. Celestia was the one that had guards following you."
  5924. >Trixie grins at Anon.
  5925. >Anon simply rolls his eyes as he leans back.
  5926. >"C'mere."
  5927. >Trixie nuzzles Anon before sliding into his lap belly up.
  5928. >All you can see of her is her hooves as Anon starts rubbing her belly.
  5929. >Starlight growls in frustration.
  5930. >"We could have had him wear a Prench butler outfit, Trixie. Instead you're getting belly rubs!"
  5931. >"Trixie is aware of this and does not care."
  5932. "Y-you made a bet? On whose guards they were?"
  5933. >Starlight growls and slams the letter down.
  5934. >"Yeah, we were pretty open minded at the time. I bet on Luna, Anon thought it was you, and that BIG BLUE DYKE bet on Celestia."
  5935. >One of the blue hooves shoots up.
  5936. >"No homo."
  5937. >"I didn't even-"
  5938. >"You called Trixie a a dyke. Trixie had to say no homo."
  5939. >"Ugh, why didn't you just lie for a sis, Twilight? I'm so mad, even Anons bet was better than this."
  5940. >Starlight shoves a hoof into your tuft.
  5941. >"You're going to shove your tongue so far into me that it's going to look like I have two tongues."
  5942. >...
  5943. "No homo?"
  5944. >The blue hoof goes up again.
  5945. >"No homo."
  5946. >Starlight grabs your discarded cheese and tosses it across the table.
  5947. >From the sounds Trixie starts making, you'd say Starlight landed the shot.
  5948. >Okay, so that's the first on the list-
  5949. "How does this not bother you?!"
  5950. >No!
  5951. >Shut up, Twilight!
  5952. >When a manticore doesn't eat you, you don't go back and ask why.
  5953. >Starlight shrugs as she opens some of your other tacos for their cheesy ammo.
  5954. >...
  5955. >That's your food.
  5956. >Sure you weren't going to eat the cheese, but you don't just go messing with another mares food.
  5957. >She proceeds to launch the cheese in arcing shots at her herdsister as she replies to you.
  5958. >"A week ago I would have been furious. Then I found out Anon is actually some kind of forest ninja alien or something. And you know what? I think it's fair if the princesses want to keep an eye on him. So as long as these guardmares aren't going to harass Anon, I'm good."
  5959. >Anon puts a hand up.
  5960. >"I prefer the term 'Ninjaquestrian'."
  5961. >You turn over to the blue wriggling hooves.
  5962. "Okay, what about you, Trixie? I know your pride wouldn't let something like this pass."
  5963. >Did you just skip Anon?
  5964. >Oh, you've been so careful about not dismissing stallions thoughts and-
  5965. >"They would protect him, wouldn't they?"
  5966. "Uh, what?"
  5967. >Trixie kicks a bit as another clump of cheese hits its mark.
  5968. >"If he needed help. Wouldn't they help him?"
  5969. "Well, the idea is for this team not to be seen, but if he really needed help then yes, they would help."
  5970. >"Then Trixie has no issue."
  5971. >You...
  5972. >Had not thought of it like that before.
  5973. >Anon chuckles.
  5974. >"If they're not supposed to be seen, shouldn't they have camouflage? Not to mention a blind man could follow those tracks. Which happened to be on the tracks that we left to enter the forest, something super obvious for anyone that bothers back tracking."
  5975. >Note for Celestia: tracking team leaves exceptional tracks.
  5976. "I don't want to be mean but-"
  5977. >"They're stupid, got it."
  5978. >Now that was mean.
  5979. >You sigh as you wave your hoof in a circular motion.
  5980. "Okay, why doesn't this bother you, Anon?"
  5981. >Anon sits up straighter as he looks at you.
  5982. >"Well, I had a really good idea that you were watching me. You'd never leave me alone when I first showed up, and there was that one time we were in the market where I stopped and you're nose actually went up my butt."
  5983. >You shuffle in your seat as a blush takes its position on your face.
  5984. "I-well-I mean-you stopped fast and you smell nice and..."
  5985. >The table suddenly becomes very fascinating as snickering breaks out around you.
  5986. "Starlight. Do you still have-"
  5987. >"The only way we're rewriting time is to embarrass you more."
  5988. "...It might be worth it."
  5989. >Anon snickering breaks down, allowing him to speak.
  5990. >"Weren't you the one that picked out the shampoo for me?"
  5991. >No.
  5992. >Well, you were, but no.
  5993. "It was just some I had lying around when you showed up."
  5994. >Trixies snickering dies off as well.
  5995. >"Maybe she was trying to groom you into husband material."
  5996. >"Did she do a good job?"
  5997. >"Hmm. Maybe. Keep rubbing Trixies belly and we will find out."
  5998. >Your eyes snap upward to see the two grinning at eachother.
  5999. "Hold on. You suspected that this was going on? Why didn't you say anything?"
  6000. >Anon shrugs while trying to keep his hands on Trixies belly.
  6001. >"I tried to. Remember all that stuff I said before you left? About how you could talk to me about anything? And all that other stuff that I kind of forgot."
  6002. >You reach up onto the table, slowly pulling yourself forward.
  6003. "So right before I left, you basically told me to just admit to everything?"
  6004. >Anon shrugs again, giving you a short nod.
  6005. >"Uh, yeah? Looking back, was it you or me that messed that up?"
  6006. >Well that was obviously you.
  6007. >Starlight seems to disagree, however, as she tosses a biscuit at Anon.
  6008. >Anon catches it and proceeds to feed it to Trixie as Starlight yells at him.
  6009. >"Are you serious?! Anon, you are not allowed to go around speaking in riddles and rhymes!"
  6010. >"Could Trixie get some butter?"
  6011. >Anon grabs up a spoon for the butter as he looks between you and Starlight.
  6012. >"I was trying to use tact. Something that I clearly failed at since I don't have enough experience with it. Also, you can suck my dick Star, because I know for a fact you would have done worse."
  6013. >Starlight holds a hoof up as Anon feeds Trixie a spoonful of butter.
  6014. >Ew.
  6015. >"Okay, first! I was going to do that anyways. Second, I may have ended up hurting her feelings, but she wouldn't have needed some kind of soul searching trip or whatever she did in Canterlot."
  6016. >That would have been nice to avoid.
  6017. >You clear your throat as you turn back to Anon.
  6018. "There's a bit more we need to get through, so if we can-"
  6019. >Anon tosses the spoon back on the table as he gives you a determined look.
  6020. >"Before we do that, I'd like to send Celestia a letter."
  6021. >A quill and parchment pop into existence, almost out of reflex.
  6022. "Uh, what-"
  6023. >"Dear, Sunbutt."
  6024. "I'm not writing that."
  6025. >"Write it. Dear, Sunbutt. I lost a bet because of you. I am going to chop down that mountain with my dick and make you suck it."
  6026. >Oh, if you join a herd, then Princess Celestia-
  6027. >Later.
  6028. >You shake your head.
  6029. "I'm not writing that and there's a reason why we had the guards following you."
  6030. >"Is it because my dick can topple mountains?"
  6031. >You stop, trying to imagine a penis that could do such a thing.
  6032. >Shaking your head again, you clear out a spot on the table for the letter so it won't get dirty.
  6033. "It's that there was a group of creatures that looked very much like you. Here, let me get the book."
  6034. >You channel the magic for the spell and shortly find yourself in your hidden second study.
  6035. >There were three hidden studies, in part to throw off the non-existent spies, but mostly because you thought it was neat.
  6036. >You pick up your copy of Evils of the Everfree and teleport back to the dining room.
  6037. >You clear out a spot on the table for that as well before looking at your three potential herdmates.
  6038. >Anon and Starlight were patiently waiting for you to do something, with Starlight sitting next to Anon again, while Trixie continued to receive a belly rub.
  6039. "...Is it weird that I was expecting you three to do something while I was gone?"
  6040. >A blue hoof goes up again.
  6041. >"Trixie has a full belly that is being rubbed. She is doing nothing...well she might take a nap."
  6042. >Anon drums on her stomach, getting an annoyed sound from her.
  6043. >"I'm stuck doing this for a bit."
  6044. >Starlight shrugs.
  6045. >"Trixie's being quiet and I don't want to ruin that."
  6046. "...You three have a very odd relationship, don't you?"
  6047. >Two heads turn to look at you, a blue one poking up from the other side of the table a second later.
  6048. >"You know what we're like."
  6049. >You nod at Trixie before opening the book to the green bookmark.
  6050. "You're right. I guess, if all this goes okay, I'll be a part of it too and it just seems a little odd to me."
  6051. >Trixie throws up a hoof as she lays back down in Anons lap.
  6052. >"Stop overthinking things."
  6053. >Your ears flick in annoyance.
  6054. "Gee Trixie, I would love to stop overthinking things, but it's not like I can just turn my brain off."
  6055. >Starlight shrugs.
  6056. >"Sure you can. I do it all the time. You know that one book series that you hate so much that you say used to be good? I just turn my brain off when I read it. It's great!"
  6057. >You feel your eye twitching.
  6058. >"I mean, what's the worst that could happen because of turning your brain off? Sure I made a cult and brainwashed our friends, but everything turned out fine in the end."
  6059. >You look for a tell, a sign, anything that she's messing with you.
  6060. >Because right now you're about ready to choke a bastard.
  6061. >Anon slowly places a hand on her withers as a balled fist is placed in front of his mouth.
  6062. >"S-Starlight. If you-snrk-keep this up she's going to break, and I don't know if I'll laugh or help when she breaks you."
  6063. >Okay, she was messing with you.
  6064. >Good.
  6065. >There was going to be problems if she wasn't.
  6066. >Starlight smirks at Anon as she leans back.
  6067. >"C'mon, Nons. She's just too gullible sometimes. Just imagine how we can tease her in the bedroom."
  6068. "Moving on!"
  6069. >Thoughts you don't need interrupt your magic as you try to use it, the three across the table laughing at your outburst.
  6070. >All of the food on the table is enveloped in a lavender glow as it shifts out of the way.
  6071. >This book is far too valuable to be risked by breakfast.
  6072. >All three slowly stopped with their laughter as you float the book over.
  6073. >You set the book in front of Anon, the page very clearly showing an illustration of a Roundwall Rager and one of the gates of its fort.
  6074. "This creature is called a Roundwall Rager. When the Everfree emerged, these creatures took an old town and fortified it. None of the ponies from the town were recovered. We don't know if..."
  6075. >You trail off as Anon leans over the book, Trixie wriggling herself upright while Starlight leans forward.
  6076. >Anon hums as he takes in the picture.
  6077. >"Well I'll be damned. I saw it for myself, but it was too wrecked for me to tell it was a Viking fort."
  6078. >Viking?
  6079. >Trixie taps Anon in the side.
  6080. >"What's a Viking?"
  6081. >Anon grins as he points at the quill and parchment you had dropped earlier.
  6082. >As soon as they're orderly, Anon begins speaking.
  6083. >"So these guys were some badass motherfuckers."
  6084. "Can you please limit your language?"
  6085. >Starlight opens her mouth to say something, only for Anon to beat her to it.
  6086. >"Only for notes."
  6087. >You nod.
  6088. "That's fine."
  6089. >Oh, you never really talked about his world with him.
  6090. >He'd tell stories, but you thought he was just reminiscing.
  6091. >Maybe the two of you could set up times to talk about his world.
  6092. >"Okay, so these guys were generally looked at in history as...they were raiders. Hahaha! These guys raided a whole other planet! Oh, this is great. But they also did some more stuff. Like look at this guy. He's got some crazy looking tattoos."
  6093. >You frown, leaning forward over the table to look at the picture.
  6094. >The-stallion?-wasn't green like Anon and had extensive markings across him.
  6095. >Starlight points at the picture with a hoof as she looks at you.
  6096. >"Twilight, don't minotaurs get tattoos based on their combat abilities?"
  6097. >You nod.
  6098. "Yes. It's interesting that there's this similarity. I don't have any tauren history books, which is something I've been meaning to fix. Maybe one of these Vikings got out of the Everfree and integrated themselves into minotaur culture."
  6099. >Anon chuckles to himself.
  6100. >"Twilight, we have the same language."
  6101. >...
  6102. >But why though.
  6103. "Anon, please continue before we get too distracted on /that/ tangent."
  6104. >Anon chuckles again before pointing over to the picture of the gate.
  6105. >"Okay. These guys built a Viking ring fort or a...their ring fort? I guess that's the roundwall part of their name."
  6106. >Alright.
  6107. >That's some answers, but not all of them.
  6108. "Anon, you said that you saw the fort, or the town, yourself and you also know about these Vikings. Do you have any idea what they would have done to the ponies in that town? Did you see any indicator that the ponies there..."
  6109. >Anon stares at the picture, taking his time before he answers.
  6110. >"I kind of doubt it but...you three know humans eat meat."
  6111. >Three ponies collectively wince.
  6112. >"There's also the chance that they were taken as slaves. But I also know they very much liked the pussy...Gah, I'm no historian, I just knew that they kicked a lot of ass."
  6113. "You don't mean donkeys, right?"
  6114. >Anon simply nods before Trixie taps him on that odd shoulder pad.
  6115. >"Didn't you say you found some graves? What if some of them were for ponies? Surely they wouldn't give a slave a decent burial. Or if they uh..."
  6116. >Anon rubs his chin as he looks at her.
  6117. >"I never even checked to see if they were human. I mean, I shouldn't have, but God damn! Maybe they were for the ponies before the Vikings got there, since those dudes prefer to burn their dead."
  6118. >Starlight nudges him from the other side.
  6119. >"If they burn the dead, how'd you find that one human? You said you found a bit of one somewhere. It was...in a cave, right?"
  6120. >Anons face grows somber as he twists around, looking at the weapon of the former wailing bones colony.
  6121. >He sits there, seemingly lost in the memories stored stored within the blade.
  6122. >"Yeah."
  6123. >The room grows silent, the reality of that single word very quickly dawning on the three of you.
  6124. >Anon gets up, slowly heading towards out of the dining room.
  6125. >"I'mma let the boys out. You girls stay here."
  6126. >The only noise from Anon comes when he closes the door.
  6127. >Starlight turns to face Trixie.
  6128. >"Alright. I earned it. Hit me."
  6129. >Trixie shakes her head as she slides another uneaten taco to herself.
  6130. >"Nuh-uh. If Trixie gives you a concussion now, you won't learn anything."
  6131. >Starlight bows her head in defeat before turning to face you.
  6132. >"You don't have much more, do you? After that I just want to beat myself with a stapler."
  6133. >You slowly nod as you shift your wings upwards.
  6134. "There's two more things."
  6135. >"How bad are they?"
  6136. >You start to twiddle your hooves together as you shift around.
  6137. "We should probably wait for him."
  6138. >Starlight nods as she start to rub a hoof against her leg.
  6139. >You turn your head towards the door Anon left through.
  6140. >You want to know.
  6141. >You want to know what kinds of human bones the colony he fought against used.
  6142. >If these Vikings had the same magic resistance as Anon, a wailing bones colony would no doubt snatch their bones up.
  6143. >Not only for magical defense, but the fact that the current of mana wouldn't wear down the bone and would actually produce better spells.
  6144. >Finding materials for rune smithing was incredibly difficult, due to the fact that some would either eat up the magic it was supposed to channel or they would break down after a few uses.
  6145. >Not to mention that while every colony made their construct in a unique way, what could be gleaned from the monsters was two consistencies.
  6146. >One was the 'wail' so that they could feed, which Anon had taken in the form of the glaive.
  6147. >The other was the skull.
  6148. >The door clicks open before you can delve too deep into that train of thought.
  6149. >Anon walks into the room, the wolves silently filing in behind him.
  6150. >You can't help but wonder if the smile he's wearing is real, or if it's for the three of you.
  6151. >"Okay, where were we?"
  6152. >You put a hoof up to Anon.
  6153. "We have two more things to go over."
  6154. >And if you're lucky, he won't sic his wolves on you when you tell him what you did.
  6155. >Anon takes a seat between the two other mares as he grins at you.
  6156. >Dean snuggles up against Starlight while Henson sits near Trixie.
  6157. >New Jim and Boyle crawl under the table while Hendrix starts playing something.
  6158. >Anon watches the duo before pointing to you.
  6159. >"I think you made some friends, Twi."
  6160. >You turn your head to see what he means only for the twins to start nuzzling you.
  6161. >Starlight puts a hoof up as she points at the end of the table where the two wolves crawled under.
  6162. >"Are they okay like that? I don't think Boyle really gives you trouble, but the other wolf actually tried to bite you."
  6163. >Anon taps twice on the table, eliciting a small rustling sound from underneath.
  6164. >"He'll behave. Especially with Boyle at his throat."
  6165. >Well.
  6166. >At least you're not the only one in biting range.
  6167. >Looking between all of the visible wolves, you notice some changes.
  6168. >You point at Henson, who kind of looks like Starswirl.
  6169. "I like the changes. It's a good way to tell them apart and should help ponies see them as friendlier."
  6170. >Starlight scoffs.
  6171. >"Yeah, after that show we put on for the foals, I'm sure they'll be lining right up to meet them."
  6172. >The show?
  6173. >Oh, the show to keep them out of the forest.
  6174. >The one that probably caused Princess Luna more work.
  6175. >You hold the letter up to Anon.
  6176. "Princess Luna actually wrote something to you about her increased work load. I'm guessing it's about that show."
  6177. >Anon chuckles as he snatches the letter up and starts to scan the bottom of it.
  6178. >"Blah blah blah, I'm Princess Luna and I have a massive vagina."
  6179. >He turns over to Starlight.
  6180. >"Is that an insult or a compliment here?"
  6181. >"It's not so much about how big the vagina is, so much as it is about how deep and tight a mare is. Saying a mare has a big vagina is like saying...your penis is floppy? I don't know how that would translate over to you."
  6182. >Hooray for education?
  6183. >Anon hums as he turns back to the letter.
  6184. >"Blah blah blah, we're supposed to teach Twilight how to drink?"
  6185. >Starlight tilts her head to the side as she turns to you.
  6186. >"Have we never gone drinking?"
  6187. >Trixie shakes her head.
  6188. >"No. Well at least not with Trixie. And Trixie has been around Starlight a lot."
  6189. >Anon waves the letter at you.
  6190. >"What does she mean 'we need to teach you how to drink'. I know you're fussy about this stuff, but what type of stuff do you normally drink?"
  6191. >You rub a hoof against the back of your head, avoiding eye contact with the three of them.
  6192. "Well...I don't."
  6193. >Silence greets you as Bob tries to work his tongue into your ear.
  6194. >You try to push him back with your magic, only for Bo to join in.
  6195. >Trixie turns to Anon, a blank expression on her face.
  6196. >"We're taking her to The Prancing Pony tomorrow night."
  6197. >Anon giggles.
  6198. >"You two have no idea how happy I am that it's named that."
  6199. >Starlight shakes her head as you try to push both wolves off.
  6200. >"A whole castle, Twilight. You could have a dozen mare caves in here, every single one filled to the brim with the best drinks in the world. Instead you have books."
  6201. >Anon nudges her in the shoulder as the two wolves start to lay their weight across you.
  6202. >"I bet you a bunch of those books are porn."
  6203. >SNAP
  6204. "Nope! I have absolutely no porn anywhere in this entire castle!"
  6205. >You stand on the table, breathing a little heavily and covered in a good deal of sap.
  6206. >Starlight wags a hoof at you.
  6207. >"It's still porn even if it's-"
  6208. >A purple glow wraps around her mouth, silencing her.
  6209. >Anon chuckles, reaching out to give you a boop as Starlight gives you an annoyed glare.
  6210. >"Are we talking about that manga stuff?"
  6211. "NO!"
  6212. >"Because Trixie's totally into that."
  6213. >The magic disperses from Starlight as you give your attention to Trixie.
  6214. "R-really?"
  6215. >Trixie wriggles around in place.
  6216. >"Trixie got lonely running around Equestria by herself. Sh-she needed something to keep her busy."
  6217. >Anon wraps an arm around her.
  6218. >"We'll actually act or read out the scenes to Starlight. It drives her nuts."
  6219. >Starlight rolls her eyes as she cranes her neck to look around Anon.
  6220. >"Is this what you were saying you had in common with Twilight?"
  6221. >Trixies eyes flick between you, Starlight, and, for whatever reason, Henson.
  6222. >She quickly nods before answering.
  6223. >"Yes, of course it is. What else could it be? Let's never bring it up again."
  6224. >Anon seems somewhat confused, but doesn't complain as Trixie tries to push her muzzle into his side.
  6225. >Well that's something.
  6226. >Something you never knew you needed.
  6227. >Reading manega, or even just regular books, with a herd would be just...
  6228. >You're not sure if you have the words for it.
  6229. >But if you did, they'd definitely be good words.
  6230. >And acting out scenes from other, somewhat objectable literature would be even better.
  6231. >It would be pretty hard with Anon and-
  6232. >No.
  6233. >You're getting distracted.
  6234. >There's two more hurdles and one of them is very, very large.
  6235. >You sigh, stepping off the table to return to your seat as the three playful wolves wrestle.
  6236. >The book is popped away before you continue.
  6237. "I still have two more things to talk about with you three."
  6238. >Anon nods, gesturing for you to continue as Dean rips off Bobs head.
  6239. >...
  6240. >You point over to Dean as he tackles Bo, Anon pointedly ignoring the snarling.
  6241. "Um-"
  6242. >"They're fine. What else you got, Twi?"
  6243. >You swallow.
  6244. >You're actually not too worried about the wolves.
  6245. >You just don't want him to hate you.
  6246. >Anon and Starlight, and maybe Trixie one day, are good friends.
  6247. >Even if you don't join their herd, you don't want to lose them.
  6248. >Looking at the table, you notice an untouched drink and quickly take a swig of it before putting it back.
  6249. >This had been going surprisingly well.
  6250. >That could change right now.
  6251. "Well...um. Is there-was there a time when you were in the forest where...it got worse?"
  6252. >Anon furrows his brow as the other two mares look at you in confusion.
  6253. >Anon is the first to speak and does so slowly.
  6254. >"I...can think of something, yes. The deeper in you go, the quieter and the darker it gets. Anything that puts off a lot of light or sound was either dying or something nobody should mess with. There was one night where that entire forest pulsed with light and every single one of those freaks screamed to the high heavens. After that...Why does this matter?"
  6255. >Trixie is looking between you and Anon, as Starlight furrows her brow in confusion.
  6256. "Anon...I know Starlight has told you a little bit about the Elements of Harmony. In fact, I've told you a bit myself. I believe that the night you described is the same time as when I returned the Elements to the Tree of Harmony."
  6257. >Starlight shuffles around next to Anon as Trixie turns all of her attention to you.
  6258. >"So that means the Elements...Twilight, no."
  6259. >You nod, your gaze fixed on an unmoving Anon.
  6260. "Anon, I don't know what to say other than that I am so, so sorry."
  6261. >Starlight stops moving as Trixie leans back and lifts up Anons shirt with her magic.
  6262. >Anon continues to stare at you, his face blank as Trixie places her hoof on a spot on his back.
  6263. >"Anonymous, did you get this when that happened?"
  6264. >"..."
  6265. >Is she talking about one of his scars?
  6266. >Trixie drops the shirt as she leans back forward.
  6267. >"How many of your scars are her fault?"
  6268. >Guess so.
  6269. >"..."
  6270. >The statue named Anon continues to say nothing.
  6271. >"Anonymous."
  6272. >Starlight slowly leans into his side as her eyes meet yours.
  6273. >"I thought you said they healed, Twilight. Why would they send all of that after him? I-"
  6274. >Starlight stops for a moment, bringing a hoof to her throat.
  6275. >She sniffles as she turns back to you.
  6276. >"I saw what would have happened if the world didn't have the six of you. If it didn't have the Elements. I saw what was probably the end of the world and yet the Elements, the fatherbucking Elements sent Cerberus to chew on him so we could all be happy. That...Twilight, that's wrong. I don't care what I've done, I've never put anypony through what he went through."
  6277. >Trixie whips on you, her hooves wrapped tightly around Anons arm.
  6278. >"As you shouldn't! What kind of monster would ever consider hurting Anonymous? He is kind to Trixie a-and he cares about me and I love him. You-"
  6279. >Trixies takes a slow, shaky breath as her eyes turn up to face Anon.
  6280. >"You should be dead, but you just laugh, and smile, and you make us smile...Anonymous. Anonymous, talk to me!"
  6281. >It's not sudden by any means, but Anon slowly starts to lift Trixie up and over into his lap.
  6282. >Once she is settled, he does the same for Starlight.
  6283. >The two nuzzle into Anon for a moment before Starlight speaks.
  6284. >"How bad did it get, Nons?"
  6285. >Anon sighs heavily before answering.
  6286. >"That's not important."
  6287. >Both mares tense and pull their heads back to object.
  6288. >Anon pulls them closer and starts explaining before either can speak.
  6289. >"There's not many things that are important to me. Those things include you two, my wolves, food and drink, and this pokey thing on my back. All in that order."
  6290. >Here it is.
  6291. >Judgement time.
  6292. "I-I'd understand if you wouldn't want me in your herd anymore. Or even if you hated me."
  6293. >His gaze slowly turns to settle on you.
  6294. >"Twilight I...I can't hate you."
  6295. >Trixie starts to wriggle in his grip.
  6296. >"You can't hate her? You can't hate her?! You could have died because of her ineptitude! Trixie is going to-"
  6297. >"Trixie, please. Let me talk."
  6298. >Trixies grinds her teeth, but relents and places a hoof on Anons chest.
  6299. >"Trixie will just beat her up later."
  6300. >That's fair.
  6301. >Anon pokes her back.
  6302. >"No, you're going to be nice."
  6303. >Starlight places a hoof on Trixie before looking at Anon.
  6304. >"Anon, please explain to me how you aren't...something. I went through this kind of thing before and found out that I shouldn't mess with the Elements, so I at least understand they need to do their thing even if...But you didn't deal with them before. Why aren't you furious or something?"
  6305. >Anon breaths out slowly as he leans forward, squishing the two mares a bit.
  6306. >"She didn't know I was there...You didn't know I was there, right?"
  6307. >You quickly shake your head.
  6308. "No! The Elements just needed to be returned for the sake of Harmony. Plus, once they were back they got rid of these black, spiky vines that were taking over everything."
  6309. >Anon hums as he tries to balance the irked and frustrated Trixie.
  6310. >"I never saw those. Maybe I was too deep in."
  6311. >That's actually a little surprising.
  6312. >Reports had stated that those vines had crawled their way across other nearby towns and they had been even worse in the forest.
  6313. >Did they just stop growing after the Tree of Harmony?
  6314. >Guess that's not really important right now.
  6315. >Starlight gives Anon a short nuzzle.
  6316. >"Are you really not mad? That one on your back..."
  6317. >She trails off as Anon nuzzles her back, bringing in Trixie so that he can nuzzle her too.
  6318. >That's twice they've mentioned one of the scars on his back.
  6319. >You're now very curious about that one.
  6320. >Although, from the way Trixie was talking about it, you probably don't want to know.
  6321. >"This sounds like important magicky stuff, so I won't question it. What I will ask is this, was it absolutely necessary?"
  6322. >You nod.
  6323. "We didn't have any other choice. The damage the vines were doing, as well as the need for Harmony, meant that...I'm sorry, Anon. I don't know how close you came to...I'm sorry. If you want to be mad at me, I fully understand. I'll do anything within my power to make this up to you."
  6324. >Anon nods slowly as he looks between his herd.
  6325. >"Twilight, if not for you, and in part Fluttershy, I would still be in that forest, hunting the scraps off of what that purge left behind."
  6326. >That word.
  6327. >Purge.
  6328. >You put the Elements back and they caused a purge.
  6329. >A slaughter by means of pitting monster against monster.
  6330. >Are they really a force for good?
  6331. >"If not for you, I wouldn't have a steady supply of food, a home, and these two."
  6332. >Anon gives the two mares a squeeze.
  6333. >Trixie still looked unhappy while Starlight looked like she wasn't sure how she should feel.
  6334. >"I don't think you need to do anything for me-"
  6335. >"Trixie thinks she does."
  6336. >Anons jaw snaps shut as he eyes Trixie before turning back to you.
  6337. >"But I wouldn't mind a massage."
  6338. >...
  6339. "A massage?"
  6340. >Anon shrugs, giving the mares another squeeze.
  6341. >"It'll make them feel better if you do something for me. Plus, if we can get through whatever else you have and get you in the herd, I can get a massage with a happy ending."
  6342. >Oh, that-
  6343. >Wait.
  6344. "You still want me in your herd? After that?"
  6345. >Anon nods once.
  6346. >"Twilight, I don't have a lot of capacity for hate. That's been burned out of me and what little I have left I use on spiders. I'm fine with you joining. The question is, are these two okay with it?"
  6347. >He shifts the two mares around in his lap so that both are facing you.
  6348. >Starlight shifts around a bit more, having difficulty with her words.
  6349. >"I-I don't know. I want to be mad, but I fully understand that not only do the Elements command a presence, but sometimes you just have to bow to the bigger power when it comes to magic."
  6350. >She loses her steam before Trixie wriggles out of Anons grip.
  6351. >She hops up on the table and jumps back down on your side as Anon starts to set Starlight down.
  6352. >"Trixie, get back here."
  6353. >You stand up, not quite sure what she's planning.
  6354. "I'm so-"
  6355. >THWACK
  6356. >"TRIXIE!"
  6357. >You stagger back from the hit, the taste of blood already filling your mouth.
  6358. >A wing swings up to your mouth, coming away slightly bloody.
  6359. >Looking up, you see Anon holding Trixie who was wearing one of the horn rings you gave him.
  6360. >He sets Trixie on the table before sitting on her and wags a warning finger at Starlight who was still in her seat.
  6361. >Trixie pops her head up, giving you a very neutral look.
  6362. >"Trixie isn't sorry."
  6363. >Anon scowls as he crosses his arms.
  6364. >"You shush. I'm sorry, Twilight. Do you want me to-"
  6365. >You wave the unbloodied wing, trying to keep from making a mess.
  6366. "Would you believe me if I said that actually made me feel better?"
  6367. >It really did.
  6368. >The way they just accepted everything was starting to make you uneasy.
  6369. >Anon sighs as he looks down at Trixie.
  6370. >"Was that really necessary?"
  6371. >Trixie nods.
  6372. >"Yes. It may not have been a proper match, but Trixie still showed Twilight her place. She may now join the herd."
  6373. >What?
  6374. >From the look on Anons face, he's having the same reaction.
  6375. >"But you just-"
  6376. >"Trixie never said no to her joining the herd. She just needed to vent a little steam."
  6377. >Starlight smiles as she pulls herself forward.
  6378. >"I kind of feel better about her joining too. Especially because I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of one of those hits."
  6379. >Anon stares at Starlight before poking Trixie in the neck.
  6380. >"How many times did you hit her before I came along?"
  6381. >Trixie shrugs at Anon despite the weight on her.
  6382. >"Just once. We made a bet that Trixie could break Starlights jaw."
  6383. >"...Who won?"
  6384. >"Trixie."
  6385. >You scrunch up a little bit.
  6386. >Starlight told you she fought a cragadile when she came in with a broken jaw.
  6387. >Anon shakes his head.
  6388. >"I'd make some remark about women, but clearly you're mares so the rule book goes out the window. Trixie, are you actually okay with her joining, or do you just want her around so you can beat her up?"
  6389. >"Yes."
  6390. >"Trixie."
  6391. >The mare huffs in annoyance as she looks up at Anon.
  6392. >"Trixie is upset, but reasonable. She knows Twilight did not do this on purpose and will make it up to you in any way she can."
  6393. >The mare levels you with with an annoyed gaze.
  6394. >"Isn't that right, Twilight?"
  6395. >You nod as you look up to Anon.
  6396. "Anon, I will do-"
  6397. >He holds a hand out to you, silencing you.
  6398. >"We can talk about that later, Twi. Starlight, are you okay with this, or do you just want to see her get beat up more?"
  6399. >Starlight smirks at you.
  6400. >"I've got some issues that I can easily work out by sexually teasing her."
  6401. >Oh.
  6402. >Well maybe teasing can be fun.
  6403. >"The real question is if you're okay with her joining. You keep saying 'okay okay okay' and...Anon, you should be dead because of her. I know you're not like a normal stallion, thank Celestia, but talk this out so we don't have some horrible emotional drama later. Because we really don't need anymore of that."
  6404. >Anon narrows his eyes as he stares at Starlight.
  6405. >"You're not supposed to be good at this kind of thing."
  6406. >Starlight shrugs as she smirks up at Anon.
  6407. >"Well, I am a school counselor. I'd have to be good at it or the pony who hired me would be an idiot."
  6408. >...
  6409. "But what if I am an idiot and you're good at your job?"
  6410. >Starlight snickers as Anon turns back to face you.
  6411. >He looks you up and down, slowly working the muscles across his body.
  6412. >It takes him a while to find his words.
  6413. >"Like I said, I can't hate you, but I'm also...I won't judge you for something you had to do. I certainly had to do some unpleasant things to survive."
  6414. >He rubs a hand against the back of his neck.
  6415. >"Shit Twi, I don't know. I'm happy you dragged me out of that forest and into this castle, and if there's some way I can give you a bit of happiness, then I'm damn well going to do it. You've done a lot of good for me and I would really like to give some back."
  6416. >You have tried to do your best for him, but you ended up hurting him before you even met him.
  6417. "I helped more than I hurt, right? How bad did it get after I put the Elements back?"
  6418. >One of Trixies questions comes back to you.
  6419. "H-how many of those scars are my fault?"
  6420. >Anon slowly shakes his head.
  6421. >"Twilight, don't go-"
  6422. >"Anon. I think this is important for all of us."
  6423. >Anon clenches a fist at Starlights interruption, frustration clear on his face.
  6424. >Starlight waves him forward with a hoof.
  6425. >"C'mon, Nons. I'm the counselor mare, tell me at least."
  6426. >Anon has a mix of emotions on his face as he turns back to you, annoyance chief among them.
  6427. >"You want a number or-"
  6428. "As close as you can give me."
  6429. >You really want to know.
  6430. >Anon shrugs.
  6431. >"I got about half before that night. After that...well I got the wolves after that night, so that's something."
  6432. >Your wings slowly droop to the ground.
  6433. "Half."
  6434. >Anon nods, his face grim.
  6435. >"You did what you had to, Twi."
  6436. >Anon stands up, slowly spinning in place and giving Trixie a pat.
  6437. >"Are you going to be good?"
  6438. >"No, but Trixie won't hit Twilight again."
  6439. >Anon grunts, deciding that is good enough to remove the horn ring.
  6440. >He pockets it before sitting back on the table.
  6441. >Trixie glances at you, but doesn't make much of it, the fire in her snuffed out for now.
  6442. >Anon sighs as he looks between the three of you before finally settling on Starlight.
  6443. >"Are we good now? You going to fuss at me anymore?"
  6444. >Starlight gently shakes her head.
  6445. >"No, I..."
  6446. >She trails off, making Anon sigh again.
  6447. >He reaches down, gently scooping you up.
  6448. >He tucks in your wings as he scoots in to be at the center of the table.
  6449. >Facing the other two mares, he starts to speak.
  6450. >"I...am not happy about this."
  6451. >That makes two of you.
  6452. >Actually, that's probably four of you.
  6453. >He reaches up with a hand, gently scratching under your chin.
  6454. >You can't help but lean into it.
  6455. >"But like I said before, I can't hate you, Twi. Things just lined up in a really shitty way. And when things go wrong, we make due. So let's make due. Let's put you in the herd, see if you fit with the three of us, all that stuff. Does that sound good to you three?"
  6456. >"Trixie will break her jaw later, so she is fine with this."
  6457. >Starlight sighs at Trixie before before gently knocking a hoof on the table.
  6458. >"I'm still for her joining, I'm just kind of upset about this. But you're right. You're here because of her and I'm in a herd because of her. I think a weeks worth of edging will make me feel better."
  6459. >...
  6460. >You point a hoof at Starlight.
  6461. "You're talking about pushing me off a cliff edge, right? Please tell me you're talking about a cliff edge."
  6462. >She smirks as she nudges Trixie with an elbow
  6463. >"Look at this filly. She has no idea what she's in for."
  6464. >Trixie slowly shakes her head.
  6465. >"Perhaps it is good for her to join. That way you can perform all your sick, degenerate fantasies on her."
  6466. >What?
  6467. >You turn upwards to face Anon.
  6468. "What are they talking about?"
  6469. >He chuckles before gently booping you.
  6470. >"Trixie is for snuggles. Starlight is for fuggles."
  6471. "What are you talking about?"
  6472. >Anon chuckles again as he smiles at you.
  6473. >"It's simple. Trixie will snuggle up against you and be as happy as can be. While Starlight wants the dick, pussy, and whatever else she can get her hooves on. If you want out, get out now. That mare can be pretty freaky."
  6474. >You look back over to Starlight who was-
  6475. >Wow.
  6476. "I can't believe she'd just hold a ponies hoof like that."
  6477. >Anon snorts, readjusting you so you face eachother.
  6478. >You try to keep a view of the blushing and distressed Trixie up until Anon physically turns your head.
  6479. >"And what do you think, Twi? Are you good with getting the ball rolling?"
  6480. >You know what?
  6481. "Y-yes. Let's roll that ball! A-and play with your balls-that was too much, I'm sorry. I'm just going to-"
  6482. >A finger to your lips thankfully stops the flow of alfalfa.
  6483. >You look up at Anon, worried that he was going to be mad despite the smirk on his face.
  6484. >"Twilight, as much as I want you to play with my balls, I don't believe in sex on the first date."
  6485. >That entire sentence made you so happy.
  6486. >He is a pure reformed villain that will-
  6487. >Buck you sideways.
  6488. >The paper work appears next to Anon, gently slapping down on the table as you push his hand away.
  6489. "Anon, I know you don't like paperwork-"
  6490. >Which is honestly the worst thing about him.
  6491. "But for me to be in your herd, you have to fill this out."
  6492. >Anon groans as he picks up the first sheet.
  6493. >You've gone through so much.
  6494. >Please don't let this be the deal breaker.
  6495. >"Villain reformation?"
  6496. >Starlight and Trixie instantly perk up.
  6497. >Anon pops an eyebrow as he looks at you.
  6498. >"So to bang royalty, I have to be a former enemy of the state."
  6499. >Well when you put it like that.
  6500. "Yes?"
  6501. >Trixie smirks.
  6502. >"Three villains in a herd with a princess? We need to go get those mustaches from Pinkie."
  6503. >Starlight nods with a grin.
  6504. >"I can feel my devious side coming back already."
  6505. >Anon pokes you in the tuft.
  6506. >"Could you go evil for a bit? Then we'd all be former villains and still have a princess."
  6507. >...
  6508. >This is the life you chose.
  6509. >The hand reaches up again, washing away any concerns as you lean into the scritching.
  6510. >Maybe it will be a good life.
  6511. ----------
  6512. >You're kind of happy about this morning.
  6513. >Things went much better than expected, despite your jaw saying otherwise.
  6514. >After that, the paperwork was filled out, there was laughter, you took a couple of playful hits, and Anon had Henson sniff you for some reason.
  6515. >And you know for a fact Starlight tugged at your tail, which nearly made you jump out of Anons arms.
  6516. >At the end of that, somecreature, you can still think it even if Anon doesn't like it, decided you needed a bath.
  6517. >You ran off for a moment to secure the paperwork before meeting them back at the dining room, where Anon picked you up and started carrying you.
  6518. >You didn't object too much to the idea of a bath, considering you were covered in sap and blood.
  6519. >Wow that...
  6520. >You're only technically in the herd and that is something that happened with them.
  6521. >You hope that-who are you kidding?
  6522. >Stuff like this is an improvement so long as it's not too much blood.
  6523. >You give a short shake of your head before pressing it into Anons chest.
  6524. >He hadn't put you down once he picked you up.
  6525. >And you have to say that it was amazing.
  6526. >The gentle rocking motion of his movement.
  6527. >The way his chest vibrated as he hummed a song to the three of you.
  6528. >The simple warmth he provided.
  6529. >And the wonderful way your head fit in the nook under his chin.
  6530. >But above all of that, there is this calming peace that comes from just being held.
  6531. >You had friends all across Equestria who you could laugh and play with.
  6532. >But not one would hold you like this.
  6533. >Anon chuckles as you nuzzle further into his chest.
  6534. >"You enjoying yourself, Twi?"
  6535. "Mmm, yes."
  6536. >Starlight snickers.
  6537. >"Better be careful, Twilight. Don't want to take advantage of a colt too scared to say no to royalty."
  6538. >Your head instantly snaps back, making Anon stumble in place.
  6539. "Anon, I'm sorry, you can put me do-"
  6540. >He clamps a hand over your muzzle, pulling you back towards him as he glowers at Starlight.
  6541. >"Don't go working her up while I'm holding her."
  6542. >Starlight snickers again as Anon takes the hand from your muzzle.
  6543. >He taps your horn as he gives you a meaningful look.
  6544. >"Twi, please watch where you're waving that thing. They're not exactly sharp, but I know from experience they can puncture skin."
  6545. >You blush, wrapping a hoof around your horn.
  6546. "Sorry, I just...yeah."
  6547. >"Trixie would like to apologize as well."
  6548. >Anon smiles at the blue mare.
  6549. >"So you-"
  6550. >"Not to Twilight."
  6551. >"Hey, don't be a bitch."
  6552. >"Trixie is the biggest bitch in town and there is nothing anypony can do about it. She would simply like to apologize to you for that incident."
  6553. >Anon rolls his eyes before smirking at you.
  6554. >"She got really excited when she-"
  6555. >"Don't tell her the story!"
  6556. >Anon turns the smirks to her.
  6557. >"Don't bring it up. When she came back from-"
  6558. >"LALALALALALALA!"
  6559. >"BACK FROM ONE OF HER TRIPS. SO SHE ENDED UP TACKLING ME WITH A HUG. ALL I NEEDED WAS A BAND AID, BUT SHE STILL GETS FUSSY ABOUT IT."
  6560. >Trixie stops her yelling to glare at you.
  6561. >She brings up a hoof and keeps eye contact.
  6562. >"Just remember, Twilight. Trixie does not need magic to bring you down."
  6563. >You frown as Anon comes to a stop.
  6564. >Do you need to threaten her too?
  6565. >"So I know we're different and stuff but...is it really okay for you to have a bath with us?"
  6566. >You nod at Anons question.
  6567. "Well, this is actually the kind of thing you would be doing with a mare who wanted to join. While it's normal for friends and family to bathe together, a mare will generally only bathe with a herd, or stallion, if they are looking to join a herd. This can also be seen in dating behaviors where-"
  6568. >The hand goes over your muzzle again.
  6569. >"That's some pretty interesting stuff that I'd like to go over later. For now though, is it okay that, even if we haven't handed in the paperwork, we can take a bath together?"
  6570. >You gently push his hand away with a hoof.
  6571. "I dug pretty deep into the laws when I was in Canterlot. This is fine."
  6572. >That was a lie.
  6573. >This is infinitely better than fine.
  6574. >Maybe now you'll get to see why Anon insisted on wearing clothes all the time.
  6575. >He gives you a pat and looks upwards.
  6576. >"Hey, this is a champagne kind of event, right?"
  6577. >Champagne?
  6578. >You try to see what Anon is looking at, only to see a chandelier.
  6579. "Uh, I guess so. Do you three have some in your room?"
  6580. >You should probably get back to work tomorrow, but a little bit of champagne with your herd won't hurt.
  6581. >...
  6582. >A little bit of champagne with your herd.
  6583. >Your herd.
  6584. >Huh
  6585. >You thought it was supposed to rain yesterday.
  6586. >Both of your hooves slowly wrap around your muzzle as you let out a slow, shaky breath.
  6587. >Anon seems to notice this as he shifts you around in his grip, placing a hand in your tuft.
  6588. >"Twi? You okay there?"
  6589. >You nod, unable to stop the smile.
  6590. "I, haha. Oh sweet Celestia, I have a herd!"
  6591. >You wriggle out of Anons arms and onto the floor.
  6592. >You can't help but prance in place for a moment as the other three watch in amusement.
  6593. "It's not official yet, but I have a herd!"
  6594. >You laugh and grab the nearest thing you see, which happened to be Trixie.
  6595. >She doesn't complain in the slightest, only wrapping her hooves around you and nuzzling you.
  6596. >You sit there, enjoying the warmth of another one of your herdmates.
  6597. >Today is a good day.
  6598. >Anon chuckles, pointing to the door with a bottle of champagne.
  6599. >"Okay, you three. Ready to get a bath?"
  6600. >...
  6601. >With your eyes locked on the bottle, you point your horn at it.
  6602. "Anon, where did you get that?"
  6603. >He points straight up at the chandelier.
  6604. >What?
  6605. "Why was that up there? And when did you get up there?! I took my eyes off you for two seconds and-"
  6606. >Starlight smacks a hoof on the ground, lighting up with one of the brightest smiles you've ever seen her wear.
  6607. >"Anon, do you seriously have champagne in every chandelier across Ponyville?"
  6608. >Trixie turns her head to face Anon, keeping the rest of herself wrapped around you.
  6609. >"Trixie feels hurt and betrayed that you have been hiding booze from her."
  6610. >Anon rolls his eyes as he puts a hand up to the three of you.
  6611. >"Not every one of them, no. And as for why they're there, they're emergency Darling Day supplies."
  6612. >"Trixie immediately forgives you."
  6613. >"Oh, I hope we have another one some day. It was great when Rarity got the pastels and egg shells out."
  6614. >You, gently, rip the bottle from Anons hand with your magic.
  6615. "Anon, you can't have another Darling Day. Part of the paperwork you filled out has a clause about repeat offenses."
  6616. >Anon simply shrugs.
  6617. >"I don't see why Sunny D would be upset. She was the one that got up in that chandelier with me and offered me that bottle in the first place. She gave me some cake too, but that's not as important as the champagne."
  6618. "That doesn't matter. If you-"
  6619. >Anon holds up a finger, a grin on his face.
  6620. >"Didn't that stuff I signed also say something about evil plots?"
  6621. "Yes and-"
  6622. >"Don't ponies sometimes call their flanks plots?"
  6623. >You scrunch at Anon.
  6624. "It's not very nice, but yes."
  6625. >He steps over to a grinning Starlight, who turns her side to you.
  6626. >A hand reaches down, gently massaging her flank as Starlight makes light noises pleasure.
  6627. >"I'd say I have two evil plots already, Twi."
  6628. >You watch, mesmerized as the hand shifts and squeezes the flesh underneath.
  6629. >The movements stop as Anon takes a handful of Starlights flank and tries to crush it in his palm.
  6630. >Starlight moans as bits of her cutie mark can be seen trying to escape through Anons fingers.
  6631. >Soon.
  6632. >Soon that will be you under that hand.
  6633. >A blue hoof blue beans you as you are forced to look at your blue herdsister.
  6634. >"Trixie knows the lewdness is enticing, Twilight."
  6635. >Trixie pulls you closer, locking your horn with hers.
  6636. >"But before you let your mind wander, remember you have a debt owed to Anonymous."
  6637. >Oh.
  6638. >Right.
  6639. >You nod, untangling yourself from Trixie as Anon sighs.
  6640. >"Way to bring down the mood, Trix."
  6641. >Starlight nods, pointing her horn to her flank.
  6642. >"Yeah. We could have-"
  6643. >SMACK
  6644. >"YIPE!"
  6645. >Starlight goes skittering forward from the strike to her flank, blasting the door to her bedroom down as she goes.
  6646. >You scrunch.
  6647. >This may be their room, but they're breaking stuff in your castle.
  6648. >Anon gestures to the open door.
  6649. >"After you, ladies."
  6650. >Your hoof lifts up only to plant itself firmly in the ground.
  6651. >Anon is the stallion.
  6652. >That means he goes first.
  6653. >But if he-
  6654. "OW!"
  6655. >You jump forward, trying to get away from whatever is jabbing you in the flank.
  6656. >"Stop that. Stop thinking so much."
  6657. "Ow! Well maybe I like to think, did you ever think of that?"
  6658. >Trixie snorts.
  6659. >"Nopony likes to think."
  6660. >You instantly pick her up with your magic, floating her around to face you.
  6661. >A firm hoof is placed into her tuft as you lock eyes with her.
  6662. "You take that baaahhaaahhaaaa-"
  6663. >Curses, your only weakness!
  6664. >Fingers.
  6665. >Your magic fizzles out, making you drop the bottle as well as Trixie.
  6666. >Anon smiles down at you as he catches the bottle, scratching at the back of your ear as Trixie picks herself up off the floor.
  6667. >She smiles as well as she looks up at Anon.
  6668. >"Trixie is enjoying this already."
  6669. >Anon gives the bottle to Trixie before crouching down to pick you up again.
  6670. >Not once do his fingers stop, for which you are eternally grateful.
  6671. >"Trixie-"
  6672. >"Yes yes, Trixie already knows to be nice to her. That does not mean she can't give her herdsister some grief."
  6673. >Anon nods.
  6674. >"Just remember not to go too far."
  6675. >"Of course. Trixie is Trixie, not cruel."
  6676. >Anon chuckles as he finally pulls the hand away.
  6677. >"You really like that, don't you?"
  6678. >You look at him.
  6679. >Or try to, since your eyes won't focus.
  6680. >Ah, there they go.
  6681. "Why'd you stop?"
  6682. >He chuckles again as he sets you down.
  6683. >"What, do you want to sit in my lap in the bath."
  6684. >Yes.
  6685. "N-no. O-of course I wouldn't. I am a gentlemare that does not believe in inappropriate actions."
  6686. >You just fantasize about them.
  6687. >Anon chuckles as he turns around.
  6688. >"I'm going to put some of that solvent stuff on my shirt. I got some sap on me and if Rares sees that she'll flip."
  6689. >He got sap on him?
  6690. >But there was only sap on-
  6691. >You.
  6692. >And you made sure to nuzzle into him to get it all over too.
  6693. >Great.
  6694. >Good going, Twilight.
  6695. >You're already bucking up.
  6696. >A hoof slides across your withers before you can fall too far into your pit of self pity.
  6697. >"Twilight, he cares more about us than some clothes."
  6698. >Trixie starts to guide you to the bathroom as you look at her.
  6699. >Looks like you got a bit on her too.
  6700. >"I know we haven't always gotten along, but I'm being serious when I say you think too much."
  6701. >You try to put a hoof up only for her to give you a look.
  6702. >Buck, that's just like the one your mom would give you.
  6703. >It still works and you're a princess.
  6704. >Seeing that you won't say anything, Trixie nods.
  6705. >"I'm not saying thinking is bad. I don't just pick a road and go down it when I decide to put on a show. I'm just saying that if you're going to fit into this herd, you need to relax."
  6706. >Trixie pulls her leg off of you as the two of you step into the bathroom, leaving you to think on her words.
  6707. >Which were...
  6708. >Huh
  6709. >Can't say you expected that from Trixie.
  6710. >A hoof to your side bring you out of your musings and to a grinning Starlight.
  6711. >She quickly looks at Trixie before turning back to you and whispering.
  6712. >"Did she use her mom mode on you already?"
  6713. >Both of your eyebrows go up as you swivel around to look at Trixie, who was testing the water of a filling tub.
  6714. >You slowly nod and whisper back.
  6715. "Does she normally do that?"
  6716. >Starlight keeps her eyes on the magician as she whispers in your ear.
  6717. >"Not really. Just be careful around her when she talks in the first person."
  6718. >You nod, a little surprised that Trixie is more than just a drunkard and a stallionizer.
  6719. >...
  6720. >Did you really just think that about a herdmate?
  6721. >Starlights eyes shift between you and Trixie.
  6722. >"Hey, Trixie. You want to tell our new herdsister how Anon is...different?"
  6723. >The mare in question turns back to Starlight with a questioning gaze.
  6724. >It doesn't last long before she gives you an oddly warm smile.
  6725. >"Of course. What are herdsisters for?"
  6726. >Trixie quickly trots back over to your left, Starlight taking your right as both wrap a leg over your withers.
  6727. >You try to push down the bit of pride that rises up from both mares having to reach up to do so.
  6728. >Trixie gives you a squeeze before starting.
  6729. >"Anonymous is very kind to the two of us, and Trixie is sure he will be just as kind to you. But there are some differences we should warn you of."
  6730. >Oh.
  6731. >Are they going to talk about sex stuff already?
  6732. "Uh, what kind of-"
  6733. >Starlight gives you a gentle tug to get your attention.
  6734. >"For starters, he lasts forever in bed."
  6735. >GUESS SO!
  6736. >Also-
  6737. "If that's an issue for you, then I think there are too many stallions in this herd for you."
  6738. >Trixie puts a hoof up, which you promptly bump.
  6739. >"No homo."
  6740. "No homo."
  6741. >Starlight rolls her eyes, jabbing her herdsister with the hoof over your back before continuing.
  6742. >"A colt that can keep it up is good, but a colt that can rut you unconscious is something else. He can go for a week, Twilight."
  6743. >Your wing shifts out to wrap over Starlights back.
  6744. "Starlight, I'll support your life decisions but-"
  6745. >"Suck my teats, I'm not a lesbo!"
  6746. >Trixie leans over to whisper in your ear.
  6747. >"She didn't say no homo. That means she's in denial."
  6748. >You nod.
  6749. "Starlight, are you sure you aren't-"
  6750. >Starlight growls.
  6751. >"Buck both of you. I'm not a dyke."
  6752. >Trixie taps you in the side.
  6753. >"She absolutely is."
  6754. >"Lick my clit!"
  6755. >"No homo. There, Trixie said it for you. The issue arises when the two of us can not satisfy him."
  6756. >Your tail flicks just a bit at the thought.
  6757. >A stallion that isn't satisfied with two mares?
  6758. >Wew.
  6759. "Th-the two of you aren't enough for him?"
  6760. >Trixie nods, her expression turning somewhat melancholy.
  6761. >"The three of us were locked in our room for a full week of constant rutting. He did not eat. He did not sleep. His only purpose during that time was to please us. It was some deep, primal part of him that urged him to breed that Trixie does not understand. Woe unto us, for we were not enough. On the night of the seventh day he saw us, the wasted and spent piles of pony that we were, and deemed that we were not enough. He lept from the window in search of those who could satisfy him."
  6762. >No.
  6763. >You pull out from under the two mares to properly face Trixie.
  6764. "I-is he really like that? Did he go find other ponies that night? What happened?!"
  6765. >Trixie nods, a hoof over her muzzle as she sniffled slightly.
  6766. >"When we found him, he was in the flower sisters house."
  6767. >Your hooves snap up to your muzzle as you fall to your rump.
  6768. >You can just see Starlight out of the corner of your eye, her shoulders rocking as she no doubt cried from the memory.
  6769. >"We can not blame him. It is a mares duty to serve their stallion after all. And the two of us simply...underperformed. Maybe we'll do better with you around."
  6770. >You pull your hooves away, taking in the serious expression of Trixie and the way Starlight has nearly doubled over now.
  6771. "I-I don't know...no. I have to. For my herd. For my stallion."
  6772. >You wouldn't even do it for the sex.
  6773. >You were going to do it because you wanted to be the best you possibly could be for Anon.
  6774. >For all of them.
  6775. >The door clicks open, allowing a shirtless Anon to enter.
  6776. >"Alright, I took care of-"
  6777. "Anon!"
  6778. >His eyes pop out as you leap into the air.
  6779. >You fly forward to hug him, only for him to catch you out of the air.
  6780. "Anon, I hope you don't mind, but the other two were telling me-"
  6781. >A hand clamps your muzzle shut.
  6782. >Okay, that's already annoying.
  6783. >"Twi, whatever it is, I can guarantee you they were messing with you."
  6784. >Oh no.
  6785. >He's ashamed that-
  6786. >"BWAHAHAHA! TWILIGHT, YOU ARE SUCH A BUCKING DORK!"
  6787. >You frown as Starlight rolls around on the ground in a fit of laughter.
  6788. >Anon uses your muzzle to guide your face to meet his.
  6789. >"Twilight, did you really fall for some of their shit already?"
  6790. >Your eyes snap back over to the laughing Starlight and the grinning Trixie.
  6791. >You gently tap the hand covering your mouth, which Anon moves.
  6792. "Am I allowed to say I hate you two?"
  6793. >"Hahaha, woo! Yeah, I'm fine with it."
  6794. >"Trixie is Trixie, and nopony hates Trixie. But she doesn't care either way."
  6795. >Anon chuckles as he sets you on the ground.
  6796. >"Twi, I'm not going to let Trixie hit you, but you're an adult. You should know when they start messing with you."
  6797. >You narrow your eyes at Trixie, whose grin only grows wider.
  6798. "I probably shouldn't take a showmares words at face value either."
  6799. >Anon lets out a quick laugh.
  6800. >"Really? You listened to her?"
  6801. >Starlight waves a hoof.
  6802. >"C'mon, Nons. You should have seen it. Oh! You should have added some line about how he layed eggs in the flower sisters!"
  6803. >D-does he have an ovipositor?
  6804. >Trixie shakes her head.
  6805. >"She was, but Anonymous showed up before Trixie could do so."
  6806. >Anon rolls his eyes as he struts over to the tub, picking up Trixie on the way.
  6807. >"You haven't been telling weird lies about me to random ponies, have you?"
  6808. >"Of course not! Trixie would never go spreading rumors about her stallion."
  6809. >Anon gives Trixie a single pat on the head before setting her in the tub.
  6810. >"Where'd you put the champagne?"
  6811. >Her horn lights up along with the bottle on the counter.
  6812. >It starts to float over to her before it moves to Starlight.
  6813. >"Starlight. Trixie demands that you chill this immediately."
  6814. >The pink mare grumbles as she takes the bottle, frost already appearing across its surface.
  6815. >Anon looks around the room.
  6816. >"Uh, we don't have any-"
  6817. >A series of rapid fire snaps heralds three tankards and a small cup appearing around Starlight.
  6818. >The tankards were all distinct and made of brass, each bearing the users mark and the one bearing Anons question mark being sizably larger.
  6819. >Due in part to the fact that he simply consumed more than a pony.
  6820. >She sets them on the edge of the tub, still chilling the champagne as she smiles up at Anon.
  6821. >"I've always got them with me."
  6822. >She turns to you, her smile diminished somewhat.
  6823. >"We'll have to get a fourth one if you stick with us, but I did grab a cup while you were putting the paperwork away. I thought since we were going to go drinking...well it's a good starting size for you."
  6824. >Looking at-
  6825. "That's a teacup."
  6826. >Anon points at it.
  6827. >"Dibs. Drinking champagne out of a teacup? I'm going to be so dapper, holy SHIT!"
  6828. >Starlight shrugs, putting a small shield over the top of the bottle before popping the cork.
  6829. >"Alright. You can use mine, Twilight. It's just champagne though, nothing to worry about."
  6830. "Um, okay."
  6831. >It's just a bit of champagne.
  6832. >What are you worried about?
  6833. >You had some at your coronation and only got a little tipsy.
  6834. >Yeesh, either that was strong champagne or you didn't get enough of that Whinny at Canterlot.
  6835. >You set your jaw as Starlight sets out the drinks on the edge of the tub.
  6836. >This was part of this herds life and you were going to try it.
  6837. >Turning over to Anon-
  6838. >POMF
  6839. >Anon jumps a bit at your wings flaring out.
  6840. >Which makes IT move even more.
  6841. >"Twilight, you okay?"
  6842. "Y-yeah. I'm very phallic...FINE! I'm fine! Just-"
  6843. >You spin in place, trying to press your wings down with your magic.
  6844. "I, uh, guess you don't have a sheath."
  6845. >Anon laughs.
  6846. >"Holy shit! Look, Glims! It took her one look to get it, but you spent a whole day insisting there was something wrong with my dick."
  6847. >Starlight groans, the sound of her magic sounding clearly in the room.
  6848. >"I'll admit I was wrong, but do you have to bring that up so much?"
  6849. >With Starlights magic added to your own, your wings close much easier.
  6850. >She chuckles as you turn around, trying your best to be appropriate.
  6851. >"Guess things change when the stallion doesn't have a sheath, huh?"
  6852. >You nod, your eyes fixed firmly on the floor.
  6853. "I see why humans wear clothes now."
  6854. >The three of them laugh as Starlight trots over to you to nudge you in the side.
  6855. >"Hey, Anon. You should-"
  6856. >Anon chuckles.
  6857. >"She's about ready to break as is. I'm just going to get in the tub."
  6858. >"Nonono-aw, buck you."
  6859. >Starlight taps you in the shoulder, getting your attention as the sloshing of water lets you know Anon was getting in the tub.
  6860. >"I was going to say he should give you a helicopter ride. He gives me helicopter rides all the time."
  6861. >You finally take your eyes off the floor, not having nearly as much issue with your wings.
  6862. "What's a helicopter ride?"
  6863. >Anon waves you two over as he calls out.
  6864. >"Get in the damn tub."
  6865. >Bath.
  6866. >Right.
  6867. >This is why you like lists.
  6868. >You get distracted if you don't have one.
  6869. >Starlight happily trots forward as you move to follow.
  6870. >This will be nice with the-
  6871. >RIP
  6872. "BUCKING DAUGHTER OF A BASTARD HORSEAPPLING COW!"
  6873. >"BOYLE!"
  6874. >Anon jumps out of the tub and you don't even care that his penis is out.
  6875. >That bucking wolf just ripped a hunk of your tail out!
  6876. >You grit your teeth, trying to ignore the pain as Anon and the wolf charge out of the room.
  6877. >The sound of magic can be heard as you are gently lifted into the air.
  6878. >You don't bother opening your eyes as you are floated over to the tub.
  6879. >You hiss a bit as the warm water meets the section of your tail that was torn out by the BUCKING root!
  6880. >Before you can ask why, a thundering of wooden paws can be heard, bringing your attention to the door.
  6881. >Most, but not all, of the pack comes charging in through the door as a single wolf.
  6882. >The parts of the wolf that couldn't fit through the door simply shifting as needed to allow entry.
  6883. >But more importantly was what was across it's body.
  6884. >There, decorated across his body, was your freshly ripped out tail mixed in with Starlights.
  6885. >Oh that's...something.
  6886. >The wolf immediately goes up to Trixie, poking its nose with hers before bringing it down to one of the strings.
  6887. >It repeats the process, but switches it up with various strings of his.
  6888. >Trixie seems to understand, her horn lighting up as a drawer rolls open.
  6889. >She stands up in the tub as a pair of scissors float over to her.
  6890. "Trixie, are you really going to-"
  6891. >"Yes."
  6892. >Starlight takes a sip of her champagne and gives Trixie a dry expression.
  6893. >"Yay. Now we can all be a part of music dog."
  6894. >Trixie nods as she clips part of her tail off and proceeds to float it over to the very excited wolf.
  6895. >"And we will be one big, happy herd."
  6896. >Starlight rolls her eyes as the wolf starts chewing on the hunk of Trixies tail.
  6897. "That is absolutely disgusting."
  6898. >Trixie shrugs.
  6899. >"If you're a little colt it is, but Trixie is Trixie."
  6900. >"Get back here you little fuck!"
  6901. >Scrambling can be heard as Boyle runs back into the bathroom, Anon hot on his heels and Henson pulling up the rear.
  6902. >Before anypony can react to the trio, the bigger one clamps its jaws around Boyles neck.
  6903. >It whips its head back and forth, sending the bits of Boyle all across the bathroom.
  6904. >You sit back in the tub, taking in the scene as you grab Starlights tankard.
  6905. >You pull a stick out of it before taking a light sip.
  6906. "Okay."
  6907. >Trixie grins at you, bumping her tankard against yours before taking a sip herself.
  6908. >"Now you're getting it, Twilight."
  6909. >The bramble of Boyle slowly starts to merge into the larger wolf as Henson does the same.
  6910. >At least Henson went with Anon.
  6911. >All three of you just sat in the tub while he went to chase down a timberwolf.
  6912. >Anon shakes his head.
  6913. >"I should've known something was up when they disappeared. Sorry about that, Twi."
  6914. >You didn't even see them leave.
  6915. >You shrug, taking another short sip from your drink.
  6916. "It's fine, Anon. It's just a bit of my tail."
  6917. >He shakes his head as he pats the wolf on the back, making it lie down.
  6918. >"Still, I need to keep them from doing stuff like that. And why did they even-"
  6919. >Anon stops midsentence as the notes of what sounds like a piano fill the room.
  6920. >He turns back to the wolf with the multihued chords, a look of confusion on his face.
  6921. >"Uh. That's new."
  6922. >You take another sip of your champagne, as well as another quick look at Anon before settling into the tub.
  6923. "I'd try to explain, but I'm having trouble keeping my alfalfa under control since there's a penis in front of me."
  6924. >Hmm.
  6925. >You should headbutt a train.
  6926. >Your three herdmates snicker as Anon steps towards the tub.
  6927. >"In front of you? This is going to be inside you one day."
  6928. >You bite your lip as Anon slides into the tub, which regretfully obscures your vision of THAT with the tubs water.
  6929. >You're not a pervert but your eyes might be.
  6930. >No, stop that, Twilight.
  6931. >Anon is a stallion that must be treated with respect.
  6932. >And you're going to respect him so much your sunhats will tip themselves.
  6933. >You close your eyes, breathing deep before locking your eyes with Anon.
  6934. >And do your best to stop thinking of what is beneath the water.
  6935. >You bite your lip harder.
  6936. >Anon takes his teacup and holds out his smallest finger as he smiles at everyone.
  6937. >"To our new member!"
  6938. >Two other tankards go up, yours shooting up a second later.
  6939. >>"To Twilight!"
  6940. >Both of the other mares cheer in unison as all of your other herdmates look to you.
  6941. "Um. To me?"
  6942. >General groans of disappointment ring out, making you throw your drink higher.
  6943. "To sex!"
  6944. >No!
  6945. >Anon isn't-
  6946. >>>"To sex!"
  6947. >...
  6948. >You know what?
  6949. >If they're all okay with it, then so are you.
  6950. >You take another little sip of your drink, Anon and Starlight doing the same while Trixie was trying to drain hers in one go.
  6951. >Anon scoots closer to you as he sets his cup on the edge of the tub, where he picks up a wash cloth.
  6952. >"Okay, let's get this cleaned up."
  6953. >What is he-
  6954. >Sap.
  6955. >You are covered in sap.
  6956. >And a little bit of blood.
  6957. >He puts a dab of soap on the cloth before swishing it around in the water.
  6958. >You watch him as he starts to bring it closer to you.
  6959. "Anon, I can wash my own face."
  6960. >He nods as he brings it closer.
  6961. >You put a preemptive hoof up, trying to stop this nonsense before it starts by blocking the wash cloth.
  6962. >"I know you can, but so can I. Besides, isn't this part of herd bathing and stuff?"
  6963. >You frown.
  6964. "Well kind of-"
  6965. >"She's just used to using her magic, Anon. Come on, Twilight. Let him feel you up. Those hands are great!"
  6966. >You blush at Starlights words.
  6967. >You may not have had as much experience as she did with them, but you also knew they were pretty nice.
  6968. >The hoof goes down as you nod at Anon.
  6969. "Okay, just please no foal talk while you wash my face. My dad used to do that."
  6970. >He chuckles as he brings the cloth to your cheek.
  6971. >"Sure thing-"
  6972. >You wince, gritting your teeth as Anon quickly pulls away.
  6973. >"Still sore?"
  6974. >"Trixie still isn't sorry."
  6975. >Starlight smacks Trixie over the head, making her lock Starlight in a choke hold.
  6976. >You nod but wave him forward.
  6977. "I'll be fine. Let's just get it all quickly."
  6978. >He nods before giving you another, lighter brush.
  6979. >It actually seemed like he knew what he was doing.
  6980. >Well, with these two he would have to.
  6981. >"There, that's the worst of it. Can one of you toss me the shampoo?"
  6982. >In the middle of what you think is a play fight, both tankards floating safely above the mares, a bottle of shampoo is kicked over.
  6983. >Anon chuckles as he squirts some into his hand.
  6984. >His fingers work their way into your mane, trying to work the soap in deeper.
  6985. >Okay he's doing that so...
  6986. >Do you pay attention to the mares?
  6987. >They're doing something, so you probably should.
  6988. >What's the proper actions for actually being in a herd?
  6989. >This bathroom needs a bookshelf.
  6990. >"Sooo-"
  6991. >Or maybe you could talk to the stallion washing your mane.
  6992. >He pulls a hand out to scratch at your ear, making you lean into it.
  6993. >"It may not be official yet, but how is your first day going in our herd?"
  6994. >You hum as you push your head into Anons hands.
  6995. "Well, besides the rough start, it's been nice so far."
  6996. >Anon chuckles as the second hand moves from your ear to working soap.
  6997. >A frown appears for a second, but it's gone just as quick as it appeared as Anon starts to scratch at underside of your neck.
  6998. >"Sorry about Boyle. I'm actually surprised he's in here considering there's a full tub."
  6999. >You look over to the large wolf with the multicolor chords and wonder what he means.
  7000. >You just as quickly discard the unasked question, not wanting to ruin the moment.
  7001. >Wait.
  7002. >Was this a good moment or-
  7003. "It's fine. And if nothing else, we have some nice music to listen to while I spend time with my herd to be."
  7004. >Thank you, mouth.
  7005. >Should you wrap a leg around him?
  7006. >Is that too forward?
  7007. >Anon chuckles as he shakes his head.
  7008. >"These wolves keep surprising me. I wouldn't be surprised if they had something else to show me."
  7009. "Well-"
  7010. >You take the leap, scooting closer to him so that you can feel him against you.
  7011. "Maybe it will be something nice. If nothing else, it will be something interesting."
  7012. >Done with the soap, he wraps an arm around you-
  7013. >YES!
  7014. >-and grabs his teacup.
  7015. >He finishes the rest of it it before filling it with bathwater to wash the soap out of your mane.
  7016. >Placing small barriers over your eyes to keep soap from getting in them, you point a hoof at the mare pair while facing Anon.
  7017. "Is this how the three of you normally take baths?"
  7018. >Anon fills up the teacup as Starlight uses her magic to repeatedly dunk Trixie.
  7019. >"Sometimes we'll have sex in the tub."
  7020. >You want to say that's not how you get clean.
  7021. >But you are a sex novice in desperate need of sex.
  7022. >The water splashes over your head, cleaning off more soap.
  7023. >Starlight stops dunking Trixie and levels her to her muzzle.
  7024. >"How long do I need to keep doing this?"
  7025. >"Trixie *cough-cough* can go longer than you."
  7026. >Anon rolls his eyes before snatching Trixie out of the air.
  7027. >"Okay, that's enough waterboarding. Get over here, Star."
  7028. >Anon settles Trixie in his lap as Starlight slowly trots across the tub.
  7029. >"If she-"
  7030. >"She won't. It's snuggle time, isn't it, Trixie?"
  7031. >Trixie nods as she starts to nestle into Anons lap.
  7032. >"Trixie makes no promises, but she will try."
  7033. >Anon smirks, scratching the mares ear as Starlight sits down next to you.
  7034. >He readjusts the arm around you so that it was now around both of you before pulling you both tight.
  7035. >Starlight nudges you in the side as she smiles.
  7036. >"How are you enjoying yourself?"
  7037. >You look between her and Anon, still doing your best to look only at his eyes, with Trixie looking like she was about to take a nap.
  7038. >With a herdmate on either side of you, you can only nod.
  7039. "I'm enjoying myself quite a bit."
  7040. >She smirks as Anon starts humming.
  7041. >"Good."
  7042. >Trixie yawns, settling herself further down into Anons lap as his humming grows louder.
  7043. >"Trixie still isn't sorry about hitting you, but she is willing to forgive."
  7044. >The large wolfs music switches over to something more somber as you reach forward to nuzzle her.
  7045. "Thank you, Trixie."
  7046. >This feels wonderful.
  7047. >The warmth and the feeling of Harmony in the air.
  7048. >Anon moves the hand on Trixies ear downward so she won't slip lower.
  7049. >He breathes deep, a soft smile on his lips as he starts to sing.
  7050. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMFRUZdmG_o
  7051. >You close your eyes, contenting yourself to listen as you press yourself into his side.
  7052. >He is absolutely right.
  7053. >This is not the end.
  7054. >This is just the beginning.
  7055. ----------
  7056. End of arc 1
  7057. Next arc: mbTNxzSC

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