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Anonfilly Thread: Filly & Father Anon (Discontinued)

By Bluebirdd065
Created: 2024-03-17 23:05:58
Expiry: Never
anonocslice of lifedramaunfinished

  1. >Finally.
  2. >Today was the big day.
  3. >Months upon months of getting ready for this final moment.
  4. >"Hurry the fuck up, we're gonna be late."
  5. >The very first day of school.
  6. >Just, you know...
  7. >Not for you.
  8. >"I can't believe I went through six years of fucking college for this shit. I have a goddamn degree, you know!"
  9. "Filly Anon, remember what mommy Twilight said about cursing!"
  10. >"Oh bite me, you ugly suit-wearing fuck."
  11. >You stare at the little green filly before you.
  12. "Hey, you're just jealous that I HAVE a suit."
  13. >She stops and scrunches.
  14. >She's so cute.
  15. >She notices your smile.
  16. >"If you call me cute again, I'll fucking tear your balls off and feed them to you in front of the entire goddamn town."
  17. >Your smile fades.
  18. >"That's right, bitch. Respect your elders."
  19. "Hey, fuck you!"
  20. >"No, fuck YOU."
  21. "Fuck YOU."
  22. >"FUCK YOU!"
  23. "I SAID FUCK YOU FIRST SO FUCK YOU!"
  24. >You both fake smiles as three fillies and their mothers walk by, covering their children's ears and glaring between you two.
  25. >You both maintain the smile until they pass by, then glance back at their flanks.
  26. >"Fucking-"
  27. "-Nice..."
  28. >You both turn to each other, glaring.
  29. >Then smile.
  30. >"Some grade-A milf shit right there!"
  31. "Damn right!"
  32. >*Hoofbump*
  33.  
  34. >You and Filly Anon take note of the school building before you.
  35. >"...Damn it..."
  36. >You pull out a lunchbox from your suit and hand it to her.
  37. >She holds it in her mouth and stands still.
  38. >She glances at the schoolhouse.
  39. >You notice her eyes getting a bit watery as she does so.
  40. "...Scared?"
  41. >She glares at you for a moment, then slowly nods and starts tearing up.
  42. >You offer a hug, which she graciously accepts.
  43. >Another mother and filly walk by.
  44. >The mom smiles at you.
  45. "Any cunts give you trouble, just kick their ass, alright?"
  46. >The mother frowns.
  47. >Filly Anon just nods.
  48. >"I-it's what I do best."
  49. >The mom gasps and speed-walks away with her kid.
  50. >Nonny breaks the hug and stares at you.
  51. >"...Th-that wasn't gay, right? No homo?"
  52. >You softly smile and nod.
  53. "No homo."
  54. >"Good."
  55. >She points at the lunchbox and wipes her eyes.
  56. >"Any chance there's meat in that shit?"
  57. "Sandwich with Griffon Kingdom imported bologna."
  58. >"Hell yeah..."
  59. >Her eyes start to water again.
  60. >"W-well, bye, you faggot."
  61. "Later, cumstain."
  62. >There's a small silence.
  63. >"C-can I get a-another hug?"
  64. >You kneel and hug the shit out of her.
  65. "Just show that bitch teacher some rocket science, she'll pass you up."
  66. >She nods, letting a few tears loose on your shoulder.
  67. >You squeeze her.
  68. >She squeezes back.
  69. >The hug is held for a while.
  70. >You soothingly rub her back, and she sniffles, letting a small whimper out every once and awhile.
  71. >"O-okay, I think I'm good..."
  72. >She starts running in place.
  73. >"Alright, I'm good, I'm good, I, am, GOOD!"
  74. >You smile.
  75. "Go get 'em, you handsome fuck."
  76. >She grins and grabs her lunchbox before darting inside the building.
  77. >There she goes.
  78. >...So...
  79. >Now what?
  80.  
  81. >
  82. >"Anon, are you really just going to spend the rest of the time Nonny's away just moping?"
  83. >You flip her off and take a swig of cider.
  84. >It's a good thing she doesn't know what that signifies.
  85. "I'm not moping, Sparklebutt, I'm LOUNGING. Big difference."
  86. >She sighs and walks over to you.
  87. >"Look, I know it's hard, but you have to realize that she's growing up! She can't be a filly forever, you know."
  88. "Twilight, Nonny is two years older than me."
  89. >"You know what I mean."
  90. >You sigh.
  91. "I DON'T miss her, though. I just, don't know what to do now. Since she's in school now, I really don't have much to DO."
  92. >She rubs your back.
  93. >"Anon, it's alright to admit that-"
  94. "I DON'T MISS HER, TWI! I don't know how I can make that any clearer!"
  95. >She silently rubs your back.
  96. "I just, DON'T."
  97. >"Shhh..."
  98. "I DON'T."
  99. >"It's okay..."
  100. "I. DON'T."
  101. >"..."
  102. "...I MISS HER, TWILIGHT!"
  103. >You start crying.
  104. >...
  105.  
  106. >Fucking kids.
  107. >You'd like to see THEM go through four years of shit you did in college.
  108. >Look at them, all laughing and smiling and shit.
  109. >You don't need those fuckers.
  110. >You can own this school all by yourself.
  111. >You hear the chalkboard being tapped on.
  112. >"Class, settle down, settle down, now."
  113. >All the kids shut up.
  114. >"Before we get into learning today, it seems we have a new student this semester!"
  115. >She looks at you.
  116. >"Care to introduce yourself, Nonny?"
  117. "...Nope."
  118. >"Are you sure? It's normal to be shy the first day."
  119. >She stares at you.
  120. >All the kids are anxiously waiting for you to speak.
  121. >All they know is that you're "related" to Twilight.
  122. "Okay, fine."
  123. >Cheerilee grins.
  124. >You stand from your desk.
  125. "My name is Nonny, and I think you're all hideous."
  126. >Cheerilee's smile kills itself.
  127. >All the kids are speechless.
  128. >"Well, uh, ahem, this is our new student, Nonny! Everyone say hello!"
  129. >The whole class chimes in.
  130. >"Hello, Nonny."
  131. >They also sound like the most unenthusiastic bunch of little assholes you've ever heard.
  132. >"Now, let's get started!"
  133. >
  134.  
  135. >School is fucking easy.
  136. >Not only did you already understand all this shit, but you even knew how to write with your mouth better than the other little fuckers.
  137. >Trying to imitate Twilight's writing in those gag letters to the Princess was great fucking practice.
  138. >And Twi's still never caught you in the act.
  139. >Soon enough, Cheerilee calls for a break.
  140. >The kids are sent off to lunch.
  141. >She waves you over.
  142. >"Nonny, may I see you for a moment?"
  143. >No, you may not.
  144. >You think of blending in with the crowd and pretending you heard nothing, but being green really made you stand out.
  145. >You slump out of your chair and walk over to her desk.
  146. >"So, Nonny, due to being so late into the school year, I'm going to have to tutor you over the basics of what we've already learned the past few months, if it's okay with you."
  147. >Fucking TUTORING?
  148. >Hell no, not-
  149. >Wait, with HER?
  150. >She gets up and stands near the chalkboard.
  151. >You check out that ass while she writes something down.
  152. >"Unless, you can give me the answer to this?"
  153. >The board just reads two plus two.
  154. >You casually glance at her ass, pretending to be deep in thought.
  155. >It's a good thing you don't have a dick.
  156. >You'd be rock hard right now.
  157. >You frown and softly shake your head.
  158. >"Okay, so from now on, I'll be helping you out everyday after school with this, okay? Will you tell your parents?"
  159. >You nod.
  160. >"Okay, good. You can go play, now. And try to make friends!"
  161. >You give her a small, innocent smile before grabbing your lunchbox and heading outside.
  162. >Hooh, man, you are SO gonna tap that ass.
  163. >You look down at your girly parts.
  164. >...Somehow.
  165. >Smiling, you walk your ass over to a table and open the lunchbox up.
  166. >You've got that bologna sandwich, a small bottle of hard apple cider, and a banana.
  167. >L-lewd.
  168. >You remember that one day you went out with Anon and teased all the stallions at that ice cream shop.
  169. >Ha, good times.
  170.  
  171.  
  172. >Once you crack open the small, travel-size bottle of jesus juice, the CMC run up to you.
  173. >Because of course they couldn't just leave you alone for once in your life.
  174. >"So, Nonny, we noticed that you still don't have your Cutie Mark yet!"
  175. >You down the bottle in one go, enjoying and hating the burn of it sliding down your throat.
  176. >Sorry filly liver.
  177. "Yeah? And why are you three checking out my flank anyways? Got something to say?"
  178. >"What? N-no!"
  179. >You slam the bottle down and sigh.
  180. >Applebloople points at it.
  181. >"Hey, isn't that from Applejack's special cider cellar?"
  182. "Nope, no idea what you're talking about."
  183. >You fling the bottle away and prop your hind legs on the table.
  184. >Gotta love ruining nature.
  185. >They come around to your side and continue smiling.
  186. >"So anyways-"
  187. "Not interested."
  188. >"...What?"
  189. "Yeah, not interested in what you're planning."
  190. >"...So you don't want your Cutie Mark?"
  191. "Nope, I'm fine not being 'special'."
  192. >"O-oh. Well... okay, then..."
  193. >They walk away.
  194. >You throw up on the table.
  195. "F-fuck, gotta love-HIC-that hard apple cider."
  196. >You casually push your lunch away from the vomit and scoot over.
  197. >For some reason when you're drunk, food just tastes fucking amazing.
  198. >Pretty much like when you're high.
  199. >Then you wonder if Anon has found any way to get you weed yet.
  200. >Cheerilee comes outside and sits beside you.
  201. >She's smiles.
  202. >Then she notices the vomit.
  203. "Man, sorry teach."
  204. >You put a few napkins over it.
  205. "Outta sight, outta mind, right?"
  206. >You laugh and hiccup.
  207. "So'chu want?"
  208. >She watches you as you eat your sandwich, struggling to sit straight.
  209. >She raises an eyebrow.
  210. >You just think she wants part of your sammich.
  211. >You tear a piece and hoof it to her.
  212. >"Oh, no, I don't-"
  213. "I-HIC-insist."
  214. >"Oh, okay... Un, thank you, Nonny."
  215. >She takes a casual bite, obviously trying not to be rude.
  216. >You smile.
  217. "Wow teach, you're alright with bologna? First pony-HIC-I know that does."
  218. >She smiles, then looks at the piece you gave to her.
  219. >"U-uh, Nonny, what IS this, exactly?"
  220.  
  221. "...You mean like, the animals it's made of, or-?"
  222. >Her pupils shrink.
  223. >She throws up and passes out.
  224. "HIC-Fuck, you could've just told me you didn't like it."
  225. >You lay some napkins on her face.
  226. >Outta sight, outta mind.
  227. >Some filly runs by.
  228. >"What's wrong with Ms. Cheerilee?! Is she alright?"
  229. >You look at your teacher, covered with napkins and slightly twitching on the floor.
  230. "Yeah, she's fine."
  231. >"Wh-what did you do to her?"
  232. "Same thing I did to your mom, only better."
  233. >You wink.
  234. >The kid cries and runs away.
  235. >Fucking fag.
  236.  
  237. >...
  238. "A-are you SURE this'll help?"
  239. >"Absodutilly! Baking ALWAYS lifts MY spirits!"
  240. "Well, I'm sure autism makes everything enjoyable, Pinkie."
  241. >"That's the spirit! Now stop your shakin', it's time to get bakin'!"
  242. >You glance over at a nearby clock.
  243. >Almost time to pick up Nonny.
  244. >Fuck this, then.
  245. >You throw your apron on the floor and slide over the counter.
  246. "So what's step one, Pinkie?"
  247. >"Oh!"
  248. >She slams her face into the cookbook before her.
  249. >"Step one says to preheat the oven to-"
  250. >You shake your head and walk outside.
  251. >"Step two says that..."
  252. >Stupid horse.
  253. >Time to head for the schoolhouse.
  254. >You feel a smile form on your face as you walk.
  255. >...
  256.  
  257. >Now was the last few minutes until your first day was over.
  258. >Cheerilee seems to be avoiding eye contact with you.
  259. >Whether that was because you tried playing with her unconscious body, or because you fed her bologna, you'll never know.
  260. >You made sure to wink at her a few times, too.
  261. >"A-and that concludes our lesson for today. I'll see you all tomorrow, class."
  262. >They all bolt.
  263. >You walk outside and see Anon waiting for you, smiling.
  264. >"Hey faggot."
  265. "-I got a tutoring session with the hot fucking teacher here! You can get me later!"
  266. >"W-what? Really? How later?"
  267. "Like two WHOLE hours later! Gonna get that puss, man!"
  268. >"Oh! Ha, o-okay then..."
  269. >He slowly walks away.
  270. "Later, bitch!"
  271. >"...Yeah, y-you too..."
  272. >That sweet flower ass belongs to you, now.
  273. >You walk back inside.
  274.  
  275. >...
  276. >It's alright.
  277. >Everything's alright!
  278. >Pft, you don't need Nonny for anything!
  279. >Hell, Spike could be your next kid/bro!
  280. >You know what?
  281. >That's a good fucking idea.
  282. >Spike's a wild dude, he'll know how to party.
  283. >
  284. >If there's a god here, you wish he would end your suffering.
  285. >"Ha, and then he tripped and fell! Isn't that hilarious?!"
  286. >Spike is spewing food all over your face.
  287. >The bitch can't even drink alcohol.
  288. >Some shit about exploding or whatever.
  289. >"BWAHAHAHA!!-"
  290. >Which, honestly, doesn't sound so bad anymore.
  291. >Twilight comes in and sees your lifeless stare.
  292. >Then Spike.
  293. >Then the nachos he's been launching into your face for the past hour.
  294. >You mouth only two words at her.
  295. 'Kill me.'
  296. >She replies with a glare.
  297. >Spike fires more nacho shards into your face.
  298. >Her look softens.
  299. >And now's the time to strike.
  300. "Hey Spike, I'm gonna go drop a big one, alright?"
  301. >"What?"
  302. >You're already out the door.
  303. >"Oh. OH. PLEASE DON'T USE THE SINK AGAIN!"
  304. >You roll your eyes and go up into your room.
  305. >You never thought about what life without Nonny would be like before.
  306. >But now you wished you had.
  307. >Because it's fucking shit.
  308. >Being with Spike is absolute hell.
  309. >You check your clock.
  310. >It's almost time to pick her up.
  311. >Well, it's still an hour away, but fuck it.
  312. >It's good enough for you.
  313. >You head back downstairs.
  314. >You ignore the pleading eyes of Twilight being talked to death by Spike and walk out.
  315. >...
  316.  
  317. >"What do you mean you don't understand? We went over this six times!"
  318. "I, I need another example!"
  319. >She groans and faces the chalkboard.
  320. >You get another great view of her flank.
  321. >You pretend to be horribly interested in her writing.
  322. >You've never been so close to a mare's rump before.
  323. >It's absolutely glorious.
  324. >Cheerilee talks the whole time, and it takes a while to realize that she asked you a question.
  325. "...What?"
  326. >"Is it hard for you to learn?"
  327. >Hard for you to learn?
  328. >Why would she ask you tha-
  329. >-Oh fuck, that look on her face.
  330. >She thinks you're retarded!
  331. >"There's nothing wrong about learning differently, Nonny, you can tell me if you do."
  332. "Cheerilee, I'm not fucking retarded!"
  333. >She gasps.
  334. >"Nonny!!"
  335. "Oh, I'm sorry, MISS Cheerilee, I'm not fucking retarded!"
  336. >She looks shocked.
  337. >"W-where did you learn such foul language?!"
  338. "From... uh, Rainbow Dash!"
  339. >Her face loses every bit of surprise.
  340. >She sighs.
  341. >"Well, you shouldn't be using those words! They aren't very nice!"
  342. "Fine, whatever! But I DON'T have troubles learning!"
  343. >"Really, now? Prove it."
  344. >She points at the board.
  345. >It's simple division.
  346. >Eight divided by two.
  347. >You slap a four on that bitch.
  348. >"...Y-you know how to do it?! Then why did you ask for an example?!"
  349. "Because you're really nice."
  350. >She pauses for a moment, then smiles.
  351. >And also completely ignores the fact that your answer made no fucking sense.
  352. >Being a manipulative, cute little filly is fucking cool.
  353. >"Can you answer these questions, then?"
  354. >She holds a paper in her mouth.
  355. >If you were a bit bigger, you'd so be able to reach over the page and make-out with her right now.
  356. >...Damn.
  357. >Being a cute little filly is fucking gay.
  358. >You take the paper and work that shit out on her desk.
  359. >She lifts a hoof, probably to send you to a desk, and stops when she sees you blazing through the thing.
  360. >She basically just salutes Hitler while you write.
  361. >You write your name as you finish, and top it all off with an adorable smile.
  362.  
  363. >You aren't able to see yourself and confirm the adorable levels, but at this age, you know every goddamn thing you do can be seen as cute.
  364. >"Wow... Nonny, this... this is great!"
  365. "Don't I know it?"
  366. >She glances at the wall clock behind you.
  367. >"Oh, and it looks like our session is over for today!"
  368. >You look back.
  369. "What? But it's only been an hour!"
  370. >"Tutoring sessions ARE only an hour, Nonny."
  371. >Well fuck.
  372. >That means Anon won't be here.
  373. >She notices your look.
  374. >"...Do you have nopony to pick you up?"
  375. >You shake your head.
  376. >She pauses for a moment.
  377. >She finally walks over and holds you beside her.
  378. >"Come on, Nonny, I can take you home, then."
  379. >You grin.
  380. >You play your cards right, you can get that sweet flower ass today.
  381. >You lean against her and walk outside.
  382. >Immediately your heart sinks.
  383. >Anon is fucking waiting by the school sign.
  384. >"Oh! Looks like you DO have someone to take you! Well, it's good to see you have such a responsible father! Goodbye, Nonny!"
  385. >She leaves you behind and walks off.
  386. >She gives Anon a quick smile.
  387. >...Great, there goes your chance at late-night tutoring with Cheerilee.
  388. >You watch her walk away.
  389. >Anon just has a stupid smile on his face.
  390. >You scrunch and glare at him.
  391. "WHAT THE FUCK, MAN!"
  392. >"...What?"
  393. "YOU FUCKING COCKBLOCKED ME, YOU DIRTY NIGGER! CHEERILEE WAS GONNA TAKE MY ASS HOME!"
  394. >"You don't even HAVE a coc-"
  395. "I DON'T FUCKING CARE! DO YOU REALIZE HOW FUCKING GOOD I HAD IT JUST NOW?!"
  396. >"Well shit, I'm s-"
  397. "NO! FUCK YOU! THAT WAS MY CHANCE!"
  398. >He just stares at the ground.
  399. "...Let's just go, you fuck."
  400. >He just softly nods and follows you.
  401. >He points at a nearby shop.
  402. >"Wanna go get some ice cream...?"
  403. "If you want a fucking cone shoved up your ass, yeah."
  404. >Fucking dick.
  405. >Fucking ICE CREAM, really?
  406. >Does he think you're a fucking kid or something?
  407. >...Oh, right.
  408. >-Still, fuck fucking ice cream.
  409. >Fucking Anon, that fucking nigger fuck.
  410. >FUCK!
  411. >You see Lyra looking up from a table a little bit away.
  412. >Oh hell no, not that bitch.
  413.  
  414. >She jumps out of her chair, knocking the table over onto Bon Bon, ice cream and everything.
  415. >She starts running over to you.
  416. "No, FUCK you, Lyra! Not the time for your bullshit!"
  417. >She ignores your ass and bumps you out of the way for Anon.
  418. >You face plant in the dirt.
  419. >"Hi Anon! Wanna hang out?"
  420. >You sit up and spit some dirt out.
  421. >Bon Bon rushes over to you, ice cream all over her hair and coat.
  422. >"Geez, are you alright, kid?!"
  423. "Y-yeah, I think I'm good... What about you?"
  424. >She looks at her mane and frowns.
  425. >"Oh... I'm just used to it by now..."
  426. >She just sighs.
  427. >Soon after, she simply sits on her haunches and joins you in watching Anon and Lyra.
  428. >It's silent between you both.
  429. "...So, Lyra, huh?"
  430. >She slowly nods.
  431. >"Yup... Lyra... Whenever she goes to see Anon, she just forgets I'm even here."
  432. "...Anon does that too, sometimes. He's a dick."
  433. >She laughs.
  434. >"Where did a filly like YOU learn such language?"
  435. "Eh, I've got my ways."
  436. >There's some silence.
  437. >The two don't even take notice of you and Bon Bon watching them.
  438. >She points at Anon.
  439. >"Isn't he your father?"
  440. "...Nope. Pretty much just a legal guardian of sorts."
  441. >"Of sorts?"
  442. "It's complicated."
  443. >"...And the Princess, too? How'd that happen?"
  444. "Well, it's a bit of a long story."
  445. >You both continue staring at the two.
  446. >Bon Bon sighs.
  447. >"Well, it looks like we've got time."
  448. >Anon glances at you, then is pulled away by Lyra.
  449. "Yup."
  450. >"...Wanna get some ice cream? Since we're already here?"
  451. >You look at her, chocolate-covered mane and all.
  452. "Your mane asking for seconds?"
  453. >She looks up and giggles.
  454. >"You know, I think I like you, filly."
  455. "It's Nonny."
  456. >"Huh. I'm Bon Bon."
  457. >She smiles.
  458. >You return it.
  459. >"Well alright, let's go get that ice cream, then."
  460.  
  461. >...
  462. >You fucked up, Anon.
  463. >Real bad.
  464. >...Sure, you didn't cockblock Nonny on PURPOSE, but still.
  465. >Cockblocking between men is unspoken of.
  466. >Even if one of said men is actually a small green filly.
  467. >You haven't even seen Nonny this mad at you before.
  468. >Hell, actually, you never even SEEN her mad before.
  469. >"-Hi Anon, wanna hang out?"
  470. >Your mind jolts back and you take notice of your beloved, obsessive, stalker pony Lyra.
  471. >And you use the term 'beloved' very lightly.
  472. >Though, she hasn't done much wrong by you.
  473. >...Except that time she held you hostage and demanded Anon foals from you.
  474. >You used Nonny as an excuse and said Twilight beat her to it.
  475. >It only worked to push her away temporarily, though.
  476. >And though the fact that she wanted your children was slightly disturbing and freaky, you were flattered by it.
  477. >But, you'd decided that you'd rather spend time with Nonny than make horse children with Lyra.
  478. >Though, Nonny didn't seem to want anything to do with you right now.
  479. "...Sure, yeah, let's hang out."
  480. >"What, really?! Cool!"
  481. >You glance over at Nonny, but Lyra pulls you away.
  482. >"Let's go!"
  483. >You saw hint of a glare in her look.
  484.  
  485. >...
  486. >
  487. >Fucking rocky road, sweet Satan, yes.
  488. >You start licking the shit out of it.
  489. >Bon Bon giggles.
  490. >You pause mid-lick.
  491. "Wha?"
  492. >She just grins and points at her muzzle.
  493. >Once you cross your eyes, you see a small bit of it on you.
  494. >You try fruitlessly to lick it up.
  495. >Licking your nose is still fucking impossible.
  496. >She giggles again and wipes over you with a napkin.
  497. "Thanks."
  498. >She nods and starts on her ice cream.
  499. >Cookies and cream.
  500. >She's got good taste, for sure.
  501. >It's also Anon's favorite-
  502. >-No, FUCK Anon.
  503. >Fuck him and his niggery ways.
  504. >Doesn't he know that cockblocking between men is unspoken of?
  505. >He might as well've kicked you in the fucking balls for-
  506. >Right, no balls, what-the-hell-ever.
  507. >It's still fucked up.
  508. >And he's probably fucking Lyra as you talk with Bon Bon here.
  509. >Makes sure you can't get laid and gets laid himself.
  510. >Bitch.
  511.  
  512. >...
  513. >"No, no, you didn't do anything wrong, Anon!"
  514. "I DID! I'MMA FUCK-UP! I FUCKED UP!"
  515. >You continue crying your eyes out.
  516. >Lyra softly rubs your leg and shushes you.
  517. "I MESSED UP, NOW...NOW NONNY HATES ME!"
  518. >You grab and start hugging her, crying everywhere.
  519. >How come Nonny being upset with you made you so... childish?
  520. >You couldn't understand it fully, though the fact that only she really knew your struggle here explained a bit.
  521. >And hell, nobody else in this goddamn town understands what beer pong is!
  522. >They can't have the hardcore pillow fights you do!
  523. >You can't casually insult a pony friend and laugh it off!
  524. >And you sure as hell can't enjoy the wonders of meat with one.
  525. >...Or the beauty of flanks.
  526. >Because guys here are too fucking shy and sensitive and shit...
  527. >Oh shit?
  528. >What if YOU'RE becoming sensitive, yourself?
  529. >What if this gay town is RUBBING OFF on you?
  530. >You completely stop crying in an instant and develop a blank face.
  531. >Lyra looks up at you.
  532. >"Anon, a-are, are you-"
  533. >You break down into tears again.
  534. "I can't FUCKING do it!"
  535. >You cry like a filly.
  536. >...The irony.
  537. >Lyra continues holding you.
  538. >And you know, she actually wasn't that bad a company.
  539. >Sure, she seemed all driven for that monkey dick while you walked, but the minute you started crying, she dropped everything and helped you out.
  540. >Ponies in this town are too damn nice.
  541. >She just squeezes you while you continue crying.
  542. >You were also in the park, so plenty of ponies saw and heard you.
  543. >But they all had sympathetic looks.
  544. >...Or were they pitiful looks?
  545. >...Well, regardless, it was better than being looked at weird.
  546. >Or laughed at.
  547. >It was nice, not having to give a shit about other people seeing and judging you.
  548. >To your left is even a nice old dude.
  549. >He smiles at you.
  550. >Then drops a few breadcrumbs and gets smothered by grey ponies.
  551. >Goddamn it this world is too fucking weird.
  552.  
  553. >...
  554. >"So... you're twenty FIVE?"
  555. "Yes, ma'am."
  556. >"Wow... And here I thought I was just talking to a real mature filly..."
  557. "Nope, just a lonely man in his twenties, with horrible fucking luck."
  558. >Bon Bon just stares at her ice cream for a moment.
  559. >You pretty much just finished describing your life to her, and she didn't even seem bored about it.
  560. >Sure, you left out a certain HQ situation from the story, but still.
  561. >Fucking hours long.
  562. "So then, care to tell me YOUR story?"
  563. >"Oh, no, I'm just a boring old mare. I don't have any crazy stories to share."
  564. >She glances to the sides of her, then beckons you to follow her.
  565. >Some real shady shit going on.
  566. >You shove the rest of the ice cream into your mouth and hop off.
  567. >Cartoon physics saves your ass and makes sure you don't fucking choke on that shit.
  568. >You start following Bon Bon.
  569. >You check out that beautiful flank.
  570. >Then you realize that you haven't had a single lewd thought since you started talking to Bon Bon here.
  571. >This COULD actually be your shot at redemption!
  572. >You smile.
  573. >Maybe Anon fucking up was a GOOD thing?
  574. >...Nah, fuck him.
  575. >You could've gotten two mares had it not been for him.
  576. >Nigger.
  577. >You refocus on Bon Bon's rump and follow her through the town.
  578. >She's walking to what you can assume is her home.
  579. >It only has a mailbox with their names on it.
  580. >She unlocks the door and walks inside.
  581. >You follow suit.
  582. >Daaamn, filly or not, you getting some tonight!
  583. >You walk inside and notice Bon Bon's look.
  584. >Then you hear it from upstairs.
  585. >Thumping.
  586. >Probably fucking Anon and Lyra.
  587. >Bon Bon blushes slightly.
  588. >"Well, it's what Lyra's always asked for..."
  589. >She shakes her head and walks over to the living room.
  590. >You take a seat on the couch.
  591. >"Want anything to drink?"
  592. "Got scotch?"
  593. >She gets taken back, then looks at you and nods.
  594. >"Sure thing."
  595.  
  596. >Once you get a glass in your hand, you feel much more comfortable.
  597. >Then you realize you don't even HAVE hands.
  598. >You sigh and sink into the couch.
  599. >You hear a grunt from upstairs.
  600. >Christ.
  601. >Bon Bon grabs the same and sits beside you.
  602. >She stares at her glass before taking a sip.
  603. >"So... my story is a bit of a complicated one."
  604. "More complicated than being an adult man in a kid's body?"
  605. >She stays quiet for a moment, as if hesitating.
  606. >"Well, it's slightly LESS complicated."
  607. "Do tell."
  608. >"Well, simply put, I'm a-"
  609. >*CRASH*
  610. >The fuck?
  611. >Did Anon fuck Lyra out the window, or what?
  612. >You and Bon Bon set your glasses down and run upstairs.
  613. >The doors to both rooms are open.
  614. >She runs to one, and you go to the other.
  615. >The room's fucked to hell.
  616. >Shit's toppled over, dressers torn apart, and shit broken.
  617. >You run to the window and see a bunch of stallions running away with a carriage full of stuff.
  618. "HEY, FUCKERS! GET BACK HERE!"
  619. >You unconsciously hop out of the window to pursuit them.
  620. >AIM FOR THE BUSHES!
  621. >You softly land and book it towards the fuckers.
  622. >You're too small to catch up to them, though.
  623. "YOU MOTHERFUCKERS ARE LUCKY THERE'S NO GODDAMN LICENSE PLATES HERE! BRING THAT SHIT BACK!"
  624. >The niggers turn a corner and vanish.
  625. "FUCK!"
  626. >You kick the dirt and spot Anon and Lyra.
  627. >"...Where's Bon Bon?"
  628. "Inside. Some fuckers robbed the place."
  629. >"WHAT?!"
  630. >Lyra bolts and heads into the house.
  631. >Anon looks at you, expecting some kind of greeting, but you don't give him shit.
  632. >You walk ahead and go inside.
  633.  
  634. >There's shouting from upstairs.
  635. >But it doesn't seem like a shocked kind of shouting.
  636. >More like angry stuff.
  637. >This time, you and Anon share a worried look and head on up.
  638. >"I saw the glasses down there! You were just, DRINKING, while all my stuff was being taken, because you KNEW YOUR STUFF WOULD BE SAFE!"
  639. >"I-I didn't! I thought you were upstairs with Anon!"
  640. >"Doing what?! You told me about all the racket!"
  641. >"Well, you're the one always talking about having his FOALS! I thought that's what you were doing!"
  642. >"Ugh, you're sick!"
  643. >"I'M sick?! I'm not the one who keeps pictures of the fucking guy under her be-"
  644. >"-Ugh, you know, I can't deal with this right now, Bon Bon! I have a performance soon and you're making me-"
  645. >You turn to Anon.
  646. >He looks just as confused as you.
  647. "Alrighty, I'm good with you, now. No hard feelings?"
  648. >"Nope."
  649. >You share a fist-hoofbump.
  650. "Good, because we're probably getting roped into this high school drama shit."
  651. >"Yup."
  652. >It's a good thing you and Anon are both from the same place.
  653. >Bros before hoes, right?
  654. >Or... manly filly daughter and fake younger father relationships before hoes.
  655. >Whatever works best.
  656. >Then, as if on cue, Lyra comes storming out.
  657. >She looks at Anon.
  658. "Good luck."
  659. >"Y-you too."
  660. >"Come on, Anon, we're leaving."
  661. >"Where, exactly?"
  662. >"I don't care! Anywhere but here!"
  663. >She starts dragging Anon away.
  664. >He still looks confused.
  665. >You watched as he's dragged down the stairs, hitting every step on the way down.
  666. >Yep, it's going down.
  667. >Literally.
  668. >You silently laugh and head back to the room with all the commotion earlier.
  669. >The first thing you notice is the huge fucking floor safe sporting a royal crest.
  670. >Then Bon Bon on her bed, quietly sobbing.
  671. >Damn.
  672. >Well, here goes nothing.
  673. >You hop on the bed and hug her.
  674. >She just keeps crying.
  675. >"I-I didn't-I didn't know everything was being stolen!"
  676. "It's alright, Bon Bon. I didn't, either. I'm as much to blame here as you are."
  677. >Though, you kind of aren't.
  678.  
  679. >She smiles.
  680. >Then blushes.
  681. >"You know, very few ponies are as nice to me as you are..."
  682. >Oh shit Nonny, you getting some today!
  683. >Aight, just play it cool here.
  684. >You open your mouth to speak, but she stops you.
  685. >"L-let me repay you for that..."
  686. >OhboyyouGETTINsome!
  687. >She hops off the bed and goes into her closet.
  688. >"...Oh good, they didn't take it!"
  689. >She suddenly walks out with a fucking gimp suit and a whip.
  690. >Anon Jr's spirit shrivels up and dies.
  691. >You visibly cringe.
  692. >She didn't see you, though.
  693. >She smiles.
  694. "H-hey, uh, c-can you give me a moment?"
  695. >"Sure thing. Just don't wait too long..."
  696. >You nod and hightail the fuck out of there.
  697. >BDSM shit?
  698. >No thank you.
  699. >You quickly down the scotch you had poured earlier and leave the house.
  700. >You spot Anon still being dragged by Lyra outside.
  701. >They understandably didn't get very far.
  702. >Anon's just pouting.
  703. >He smiles when he sees you.
  704. >"Oh, hey, faggot!"
  705. "Mate, I'm getting the fuck out of here, and I suggest you do the same!"
  706. >You pull off a Usain Bolt back to the castle.
  707. >...
  708. >The hell was that about?
  709. >Nonny looked spooked.
  710. >You wearily eye Lyra.
  711. >What did she SEE in there?
  712. >"Well, that was weird."
  713. "Ha... Y-yeah, weird..."
  714.  
  715. >
  716. >You open the door to Twilight's castle.
  717. >Apparently, Nonny just ran away from Bon Bon during a very... intimate, moment yesterday.
  718. >And because of Lyra asking to go somewhere else, she was just left alone, drinking in her home.
  719. >Then Lyra went back.
  720. >Then she cried for forgiveness.
  721. >Then Bon Bon cried because of Nonny.
  722. >Then you cried because you had to take care of both of them crying for the entire night.
  723. >You got no fucking sleep.
  724. >AT ALL.
  725. "YOU FUCKING FUCK WHERE ARE YOU?"
  726. >Nonny walks by almost immediately, carrying a bowl of nachos in one hoof.
  727. >"Oh hey, fag, what's up?"
  728. >Your eye twitches.
  729. "WHAT'S UP?!"
  730. >"Uh, yeah, that's what I asked."
  731. >You bury your face in your hands.
  732. >She just holds the bowl up to you.
  733. >"Nacho?"
  734. >You smack the bowl out of her hoof.
  735. >The chips fly everywhere.
  736. >She just stares at the mess.
  737. >"...Fuck it, I'll just ask Spike to make more. And you coulda' just said 'no', you faggot."
  738. >She walks away and back into the kitchen.
  739. >You close the door behind you and follow her.
  740. "Fuck you, Nonny! You can't just fucking ignore that- OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!"
  741. >In front of you, in the KITCHEN, is a huge, blue, swirling portal.
  742. >...And not the cool Aperture kind of portal.
  743. >The huge, gaping, lightning-y and dark in the center kind.
  744. >Nonny just looks at you and shrugs.
  745. >"Been here for a while."
  746. >She takes a seat beside Spike in watching it.
  747. >She throws a napkin into it.
  748. "W-WHAT THE FUCK, YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT SHIT!"
  749. >"Why not? It's pretty entertaining."
  750. >Spike just smiles and nods before launching a dirty dish into it.
  751. "-YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S ON THE OTHER SIDE!"
  752. >"Pft, we don't even know if there IS another side. And who cares?"
  753. "What the FUCK do you MEAN who cares?! There's a fucking PORTAL in the kitchen!!"
  754. >"Well, it's not like it's DOING anything... It's pretty chill."
  755. >Spike throws another plate into it.
  756. >Then you feel the shit start to tug on your shirt.
  757.  
  758. >A tug turns into a pull.
  759. >Then you start slowly moving forward towards it.
  760. "Oh hell no, I'm not getting thrown into a portal TODAY."
  761. >You walk towards the door, then slip and fall on your face.
  762. >"PFT, HAHAHA, FUCKING FAGGOT-"
  763. >Nonny's chair is pulled out from under her.
  764. >She flips and faceplants.
  765. "-HAHAHA!"
  766. >Nonny sprints for the door, but gets pulled back and smashes into you.
  767. >Spike jumps and slides out the door like a fucking baseball player.
  768. >Then runs away.
  769. "HEY! HELP US YOU FUCK!"
  770. >"I'LL GO GET TWILI-"
  771. >Another strong tug.
  772. >You and Nonny practically fly backwards, and you hit the wall.
  773. >It felt like you were in some damn Paranormal Activity movie, being flung around like fucking ragdolls.
  774. >Nonny's holding herself around your neck as tight as she can.
  775. >You try standing up, then fall on your ass again.
  776. >Then slowly start sliding towards the portal.
  777. >"IT'S SUCKING US IN!"
  778. "NO FUCKING SHIT!"
  779. >It's also pulling everything else from the kitchen into it.
  780. >The more shit that goes into it, the stronger it seems, too.
  781. >A pan whizzes past your head.
  782. "HOLY DICKS!"
  783. >"KNIVES!"
  784. >You turn back and see a volley of butter knives flying towards you.
  785. >You have no time to move out of the way.
  786. >You scream.
  787. >They just smack you in the face and fly into the portal.
  788. >Right, not pointy.
  789. >Then you see forks.
  790. >You throw your arms above your head, covering both yourself and Nonny.
  791. >Three forks get stuck into your arm.
  792. >"YOU HAVE FORKS IN YOUR ARM!"
  793. "AAAAAAHH!"
  794. >"AAAAAAHH!"
  795. >You hear the fridge open.
  796. >Shit starts flying out and blazing past you.
  797. >"DUDE SAVE THE DRINKS!"
  798. >A few bottles head towards you.
  799. >You grab one, but the other smashes into your face.
  800. >The rest fly past.
  801. >"NOT THE SCOOOOTCH!"
  802. >You turn back and see that the portal's getting red.
  803. >Red is not good.
  804. >You grab and hang onto some cabinets.
  805. >Shit starts moving past at ludicrous speed.
  806. >The portal starts to make a buzzing sound.
  807. >And you've still got forks in your arm.
  808. >You both scream.
  809.  
  810. >"ANONYMOUS! WHAT IS GOING O- UAHH!"
  811. >You look up and see Bookhorse flailing uncontrollably towards the thing.
  812. >You grab her hoof, and she clutches you like a leech.
  813. >Same with Nonny.
  814. >"WHAT'S HAPPENING, ANON?!"
  815. "Ask your shithead assistant! He was throwing fucking dishes into this shit!"
  816. >"-ALL FOR SACRIFICING SPIKE, SAY 'I'!"
  817. "I!"
  818. >"N-NO! WE ARE NOT SACRIFICING SPIKE!"
  819. >"WHY? I CAN MAKE BETTER NACHOS!"
  820. "FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKING NACHOS! TWILIGHT, DO SOMETHING!"
  821. >"OKAY, LET ME SEE IF I CAN STABILIZE THIS THING!"
  822. >She takes a deep breath and fires a small bolt into the center of the portal.
  823. >Immediately, it becomes blue again, and everything stops flying about.
  824. >You all fall.
  825. >"Did... did that work?"
  826. >You slowly pull yourself to your feet and stare at the portal.
  827. >The buzzing noise dimmed to a soft hum.
  828. >You no longer feel anything pulling your shirt.
  829. >Twilight stands beside you.
  830. >"...Huh, y-yeah, I think it-"
  831. >It condenses into a small ball and explodes.
  832. >
  833. >Yup.
  834. >You're homeless now.
  835. >You stare at the crystal-ly remains of Twilight's castle playset.
  836. >"I-I can't believe..."
  837. >"Well hey, can't you just become a princess again? Sprout another horn or some shit?"
  838. >Twilight starts crying.
  839. >"...That a yes or a no? I know actions speak louder than words, but I don't get what the fuck that's supposed to m-"
  840. >"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! BOTH OF YOU!"
  841. >You and Nonny share a worried look.
  842. >Well, YOU shared one.
  843. >"I'M- I'M SICK OF BOTH OF YOU! ALL YOU DO IS DESTROY EVERYTHING I WORK HARD FOR!"
  844. >"What? Seriously? Are you still mad about that gay model Ponyville you made? I told you Spike fucking-"
  845. >"-JUST STOP! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! FIND YOUR OWN HOME!"
  846. >She grabs Spike and flies off.
  847. >You and Nonny just watch.
  848. >"...Total cunt-nugget, amiright?"
  849. "We're homeless, now. You just made us homeless."
  850. >"No, we're CASTLE-less. We can get a home like THAT."
  851. "WE'RE HOMELESS, NONNY."
  852. >"No-no, YOU'RE homeless. I'm sure everyone here would DIE to have a cute-ass filly like me in their home!"
  853.  
  854. >
  855. >"No."
  856. "Nonny, put this on."
  857. >"NO."
  858. "You fucking did this to us, now put this shit on!"
  859. >"I'm NOT putting a fucking dress on!"
  860. "Well you know what, if you wouldn'tve shat all over Twilight and got us kicked out, we wouldn't HAVE to do this shit, now would we? Now put the fucking dress on!"
  861. >"FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKING DRESS!"
  862. "LADIES FIRST, NIGGERDICK!"
  863. >"FUCK YOU, DON'T YOU CALL ME THAT, YOU RACIST NIGGER!"
  864. "Oh, fuck off, spic."
  865. >"Chink."
  866. "Beaner."
  867. >"Bluegums."
  868. "Hick."
  869. >"Cracker."
  870. "Wetback."
  871. >"Inbred."
  872. "Yankee."
  873. >"...Fuck you."
  874. "-HA, YOU RAN OUT OF INSULTS!"
  875. >"-GO SUCK A DICK, CHICKENFUCKER!"
  876. "LADIES FIRST, COCKSOCK!"
  877. >"YOU ALREADY SAID THAT SHIT!"
  878. "WELL YOU'RE STILL JUST A FILLY, YOU FUCKING FAGGOT!"
  879. >"-EXCUSE ME?!"
  880. >You and Nonny slowly turn to face Ms. Cheerilee.
  881. "...H-hi, Ms. Cheerilee."
  882. >She bites down on your ear and starts dragging you off like a kid.
  883. >Nonny just sticks her tongue at you.
  884. >You flip her off and keep walking with Cheerilee in a fruitless attempt to try and save your ear.
  885. >She tosses you on a bench and glares.
  886. >"You know, I expected much better out of you!"
  887. >Nonny just smiles alongside her.
  888. >Then Cheerilee sets her sights on her.
  889. >She shrinks and crawls to the space beside you.
  890. >"I expected better of BOTH of you! To be using such vulgar and violent language in the MIDDLE of town!"
  891. >You and Nonny avoid eye contact.
  892. >Your peripherals told you that Cheerilee's look could probably vaporize you both if she wanted it to.
  893. >"Never, NEVER, in my whole LIFE, have I ever heard such a vocabulary from a PARENT! Much LESS a FILLY!"
  894. >Nonny shrinks.
  895. >You try to.
  896. >"What, in the name of EVERYTHING in Equestria, would EVER start such an argument between a father and his filly?!"
  897. "...Is being shunned by a Princess and becoming homeless a good reason?"
  898. >She gets taken back.
  899. >"H...homeless?"
  900. >You and Nonny nod.
  901. >"How?"
  902. >You just frown and point at Nonny.
  903. >She does the same.
  904. >You face each other at the same time.
  905. >"What?!"
  906. "What?!"
  907.  
  908. "This was YOUR fault!"
  909. >"No, this was YOURS!"
  910. "How the hell was this MY fault!?"
  911. >"Uh, because it's ALWAYS your fault? Because you ruin EVERYTHING?"
  912. "EVERYTHING? Really!?"
  913. >"EVERYTHING!"
  914. "Really, now? Because last time I checked, I was the one who had to deal with Bon Bon and Lyra CRYING all over me earlier! And GUESS WHO had caused all THAT?"
  915. >"Hey, it's not MY fault she was into BDSM crap!"
  916. "And RUNNING AWAY was your answer?!"
  917. >"Do you have any idea how BADLY Twilight would beat me?! I'm scared shitless just of the THOUGHT of being spanked! Even sexually!"
  918. "And you couldn't of just TOLD Bon Bon?!"
  919. >"I was scared, dammit!!"
  920. "Doesn't matter! You STILL fucked up!"
  921. >"Oh, and YOU haven't fucked up?"
  922. "-How have I fucked up? Enlighten me!"
  923. >"ARE YOU KIDDING ME? HOW THE FUCK DO YOU NOT REMEMBER?"
  924. "ALL I REMEMBER IS YOU FUCKING ME OVER!"
  925. >"YOU FUCKED MY FUCKING CHANCES OF FUCKING MS. CHEERILEE, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!"
  926. >You go silent.
  927. >Cheerilee's eyes go wide.
  928. >Nonny takes a deep breath and stares at the floor for a moment.
  929. >She looks up at you, tears forming in her eyes.
  930. >"Anon... Do... do you KNOW what this feels like? To just be seen and treated as some stupid kid?! To have absolutely NOBODY respect or take you seriously?"
  931. >You open your mouth, but nothing comes out.
  932. >"It's horrible..."
  933. >She paws at the ground.
  934. >"I try to drink, smoke, jerk off, but nothing ever makes me feel like an actual adult anymore. Nobody sees me as one- not even Twilight! Bon Bon seemed to be the only one to really get me..."
  935. "Then why'd you run-"
  936. >"-Because I was SCARED... Not just of being hit, but the idea of what being around ME would be like for her. What do you think the other dicks here would say if they saw a grown mare with a little filly? I just figured that it'd be better to get the hell out of there and end it quickly, instead of going with it and ending up in even deeper shit... But those few hours meant the world to me, Anon."
  937. >A single tear falls from her eye.
  938.  
  939. "...I, I didn't-"
  940. >"-Didn't know, huh? Yeah, didn't expect you to..."
  941. >You feel yourself trying to avoid her eyes.
  942. >"...You know, I wasn't always just some asshole, Anon. And I still try not to be."
  943. >Nonny just stares at you for a moment, expecting some sort of reaction.
  944. >Her face had become expressionless.
  945. >She waits, then sighs.
  946. >"I'll be back at the castle, then. Go find your home or whatever the fuck- I don't really care."
  947. >She walks away.
  948. >You simply stare at the ground.
  949. >How could you have been so blind?
  950. >You never took her feelings in consideration for anything.
  951. >You always figured she was old enough to deal with any problems on her own.
  952. >You neglected your only best friend.
  953. >...And family.
  954. >Ms. Cheerilee slowly walks over and looks up at you with a worried look.
  955. >"...Care to talk about it?"
  956. >You sigh.
  957. "It's... it's a long story."
  958. >She puts a hoof on your hand.
  959. >"We can go to my house."
  960. >You silently laugh.
  961. "Well, it's not like I have one to go to anymore..."
  962. >You follow her.
  963. >...
  964. >
  965. >Your mind is blank.
  966. >...What do you feel?
  967. >You can't decide between anger and sadness.
  968. >It's like you feel...
  969. >Empty.
  970. >Unfulfilled.
  971. >Lost.
  972. >You spot Twilight's castle and sigh.
  973. >You were approached by more than a few ponies wondering if you were lost.
  974. >You ignored and glared at them all.
  975. >A while ago you saw Anon following Cheerilee into a house.
  976. >You stopped and threw a fit.
  977. >You kicked the dirt beneath you.
  978. >You cursed and screamed.
  979. >And you insulted some ponies trying to help you out.
  980. >Then, you finally broke down into a crumbling mess of tears on the floor.
  981. >It's been a few minutes since then.
  982. >But it felt like hours.
  983. >You walk to the remains of your home and climb over the broken crystals.
  984. >You cut yourself on one.
  985. >Not purposely, though.
  986. >You feel more like drinking than anything.
  987. >You weren't about to become an edgy little teen anytime soon.
  988.  
  989. >...
  990. >
  991. >"So... Anon is OLDER than you?"
  992. >You nod.
  993. "Two years."
  994. >"Well, that explains a few things. But even with all the happenings in Ponyville, I never would've seen... THIS, happening."
  995. >She holds a hoof in thought.
  996. >"...I think we should have a talk with Bon Bon."
  997. "That has a big chance of making things worse."
  998. >She firmly shakes her head.
  999. >"I've seen situations like this between my students many times. Age gives ponies different ways of seeing their problems, but it doesn't change the solutions to them."
  1000. >You just stare at Cheerilee, looking for a single hint of uncertainty.
  1001. >Nada.
  1002. >She must be really set on her plan.
  1003. "...Fieldtrip?"
  1004. >She smiles and nods.
  1005. >
  1006. >You knock on the door.
  1007. >Moments later, Bon Bon herself opens it.
  1008. >"Oh, hey, Anon, and... Cheerilee?"
  1009. >"Mind if we talk, Bon Bon?"
  1010. >"Umm... talk? This... this isn't about the prom thing, right? Because I-"
  1011. >Ms. Cheerilee huffs and waves a hoof.
  1012. >"-No, this isn't about that."
  1013. >Silence falls between the two.
  1014. >"...I didn't do it on purpo-"
  1015. >"-Can we just go inside?"
  1016. >Her ears fall, and she nods.
  1017. >You and her walk inside.
  1018. >Immediately you notice Lyra sitting at a table, with a mug of coffee beside her.
  1019. >Her mane is frayed to hell, loose hairs sticking out on every side, as well as a pencil on her left ear.
  1020. >She's staring at a neatly stacked pile of forms and an abacus.
  1021. >She turns to you and smiles with a small wave.
  1022. >She looks stressed.
  1023. >"O-oh, hi, Anon."
  1024. "Hey, Lyra... do you need any help?"
  1025. >Her eyes brighten, but she shakes her head.
  1026. >"It's okay, Anon."
  1027. >You sigh and walk up to her.
  1028. >Cheerilee and Bon Bon follow, taking a seat around the table.
  1029. >You grab a chair beside Lyra and check the forms.
  1030. >Insurance forms, reports, bills...
  1031. >Joy.
  1032. >"...Looks pretty bad, doesn't it?"
  1033. >Lyra has a sad smile.
  1034. "Well, at least you've got a house to live in."
  1035. >Bon Bon and her simultaneously gasp.
  1036. >"H-how?! W-what?!"
  1037. "Kinda why I'm here, actually."
  1038. >Lyra practically jumps on you.
  1039. >"YOU WANT TO LIVE WITH US?!"
  1040.  
  1041. "-Okay, I didn't word that very well."
  1042. >Your eyes trail over to Bon Bon.
  1043. "It's, uh... more of a personal thing, actually..."
  1044. >She looks confused for a bit, then snarls and frowns.
  1045. >"No."
  1046. "What? But you don't even kn-"
  1047. >"I don't CARE. I'm not talking about-"
  1048. >There's a knock on the door.
  1049. >You all turn.
  1050. >Bon Bon, obviously looking for some form of escape, quickly gets up from her seat.
  1051. >Lyra throws her hooves up and knocks the abacus off the table.
  1052. >"-NO! DON'T LET ANYPONY IN! I HAVEN'T FINISHED EVERYTHING YET!"
  1053. >"...I don't think any official ponies would be coming by here so late, Lyra."
  1054. >She bites her hoof and stares at Bon Bon as she disappears around the corner.
  1055. >There's a small minute of silence.
  1056. >Then you all hear the front door slam.
  1057. >Bon Bon quickly comes back with a furious expression.
  1058. >You hear more knocking.
  1059. >"-ARE THEY HERE?! DID THEY FIND US, BON BON?!"
  1060. >"Uuh, yeah... they did!-"
  1061. >"-SWEET CELESTIA, WE'RE RUINED! ABANDON SHIP! PACK EVERYTHING, WE'RE MOVING TO CANEIGHDA- UAHH!-"
  1062. >She falls off her chair.
  1063. >There's a few more knocks from the door.
  1064. >Cheerilee's eyes slowly narrow towards Bon Bon.
  1065. >You pick Lyra up, getting a sweet smile in return.
  1066. >"-You're coming with us, right, Anon?"
  1067. "Uhh-"
  1068. >"-Lyra, I don't think moving will be necessary..."
  1069. >She pops her head over the table.
  1070. >"Say what now?"
  1071. >"I don't think Bon Bon's being very truthful with us right now."
  1072. >All eyes turn to her.
  1073. >"W-why do you say THAT?!"
  1074. >Cheerilee cocks an eyebrow and sighs.
  1075. >She gets up and walks past Bon Bon, towards the door.
  1076. >"N-no, wait, DON'T-"
  1077. >You hear the door clicking open.
  1078. >"-Ms. Cheerilee? The fuck are YOU doing here?"
  1079. >Bon Bon just sighs and sits on the floor.
  1080. >You and Lyra stop peering over the table and sit down.
  1081. >But not before she's able to casually bump her chair closer to yours.
  1082.  
  1083. >Moments later, Nonny comes around the corner.
  1084. >She looks around the room, then settles on you with a glare.
  1085. >And to think, only a few hours ago, she was crying in your arms before the schoolhouse.
  1086. >"Anon, what the FUCK are YOU doing here?"
  1087. >And also to think, only a few hours ago, your friendship crashed and burned.
  1088. >Now, her insults meant something.
  1089. >You stay silent.
  1090. >You didn't want to make things worse, and to her, you did that a lot.
  1091. >Hell maybe even saying "her" made things worse.
  1092. >Your eyes trail to the table.
  1093. >Lyra gently pats your thigh.
  1094. >You're about to say something, when you see her with a reassuring smile.
  1095. >You mirror it.
  1096. >"...So, what, then? You here to screw this up for me, too? That all you good for?"
  1097. >You turn back to Nonny.
  1098. "I'm here to help, you faggot."
  1099. >"Yeah, well seeing how great of a help you've been before, I was kinda hoping to do this myself-"
  1100. >"Hey, hey, woah, come on, calm down, you two! We're all adults here... Let's just relaaaxxxxxx-"
  1101. "-Not helping, Lyra."
  1102. >"Really? 'Cause I read somewhere that-"
  1103. >"-She's right, though."
  1104. >Cheerilee pauses and straightens herself from all the sudden attention.
  1105. >"...We're all adults here. We don't need to resort to any grade school antics, we can just sort this out."
  1106. >"Yeah, we'll see..."
  1107. >
  1108. >You were now all sitting around the table, drinks in hand/hoof/magic.
  1109. >But there weren't enough seats.
  1110. >So Lyra sat in your lap...
  1111. >She INSISTED on it.
  1112. >And she was really trying to stir up Anon Jr.
  1113. >And her tail got in your mouth the few times she flicked it.
  1114. >You practically choked on it.
  1115. >Then everyone finally got settled.
  1116.  
  1117. >...
  1118. >This is a load of bullshit.
  1119. >Who does Anon think he is?
  1120. >He can't just swoop in to save the day and pretend everything will be alright later.
  1121. >This, was going to be a PRIVATE conversation, not some fucking intervention with you on stage.
  1122. >But you walked right into it.
  1123. >You raise your hoof up.
  1124. >Ms. Cheerilee looks at you and sighs.
  1125. >"Yes, Nonny?"
  1126. "Can I get a stronger drink? One fifty proof or some shit?"
  1127. >Everyone looks at you.
  1128. >Everyone except Bon Bon.
  1129. "...Fuck it, then, whatever."
  1130. >You grab the glass and slurp that shit up.
  1131. >It burns like hell, but you enjoy it.
  1132. >Bon Bon finally turns to you.
  1133. >"Y-you shouldn't be doing that."
  1134. "-Thanks, mom."
  1135. >-FUCK, why'd you FUCKING say that?!
  1136. >Goddamn it, Nonny!!
  1137. >Her eyes trail to the table.
  1138. >Now you feel worse.
  1139. "...I, uh, I love my mom. She's amazing..."
  1140. >...Alright, well, now you made it fucking awkward.
  1141. >You stare at the ceiling and casually chew on the ice from your glass.
  1142. >"Soo... who's starting?"
  1143. >Anon squeaks.
  1144. >You glance over at him.
  1145. >...Is Lyra blushing?
  1146. "So... You two wanna room, or what?"
  1147. >Anon quickly shakes his head and stifles a gasp.
  1148. >"Ha ha, w-what are you talking a-about?"
  1149. "Well, you two look like you're fucking."
  1150. >Anon shuts up.
  1151. >You shake your head and face Cheerilee.
  1152. "I thought this was an 'adult' thing? Because all I see here are these two trying to do each other incognito, and a staring contest in what SHOULD'VE been a PRIVATE conversation!"
  1153.  
  1154. >"W-well, I-"
  1155. "You WHAT?"
  1156. >"-I wasn't expecting you to be here."
  1157. "Why? How does me being here make ANY kind of difference? Were you planning on just, talking shit behind my back? Is that fucking it?"
  1158. >"What- no, I-"
  1159. >Anon takes a deep breath and puts Lyra on the floor, much to her disappointment.
  1160. >He looks right at you.
  1161. >"Hey, look at me, dickshit."
  1162. "I already fucking a-"
  1163. >"-Cut the tough guy bullshit. Just a few hours ago you were lying in the dirt crying your eyes out in front of me."
  1164. >You stay silent.
  1165. >"You feel like shit. I understand that. Do I know what it feels like to be a filly though? No."
  1166. "So you can't fuck-"
  1167. >"But I understand YOU, and you told me yourself how you feel. I know you want to fix all of this with Bon Bon as much as she does."
  1168. >You stare at the table.
  1169. >"I also noticed that quick look you had on your face after you snapped at Bon Bon. You didn't mean to do that, did you?"
  1170. >You slowly shake your head.
  1171. >You feel a hand on your hoof.
  1172. >You look up at Anon.
  1173. >He's smiling.
  1174. >But not the shit eating grins you were used to.
  1175. >It was... genuine.
  1176. >"We're not your enemies, here. We all know you as an adult, and if giving you scotch didn't give that away already, then it should, now."
  1177. >He turns to Cheerilee.
  1178. >"In fact, his glass seems a little empty, don't you think?"
  1179. >...
  1180.  
  1181. >Cheerilee just looks at you like you're stupid.
  1182. >You know Nonny's a sad drunk, which might help things.
  1183. >Hell, if she didn't down that glass, you'd of probably had it thrown in your goddamn face already.
  1184. >You nod at Cheerilee.
  1185. >She gets up and refills Nonny's glass.
  1186. >"Th-thanks, Cheerilee."
  1187. >She already seems much more calm.
  1188. >Progress, Anon, progress!
  1189. >Fuck, you knew you should've been a fucking therapist.
  1190.  
  1191. >She downs that glass as well, then winces.
  1192. >So does Bon Bon.
  1193. >It's a bit weird.
  1194. >They'd only known each other for a few hours, yet they were already feeling for each other.
  1195. >It was sweet.
  1196. >And Nonny's now much more wobbly.
  1197. >Much of her ice was melted or chewed on, so the scotch was served straight to her, for the most part.
  1198. >It's good news.
  1199. >For a moment, there's silence.
  1200. >Then Nonny breaks down crying on the table.
  1201. >"I-I'm such a DICK! I'm sorry I'm so HORRIBLE!!"
  1202. >Jesus, that scotch really hit her hard.
  1203. >But being so small, it's not that surprising.
  1204. >"I-I just hate being so, lonely, so... weak. I try and try to be the happiest motherfucker ever, but instead I always manage to make myself look like an ass."
  1205. >Nonny just stares at the glass before her for a bit.
  1206. >There's practically no emotion on her face.
  1207. >Like she's done it plenty of times before.
  1208. >"This... this was all a mistake. I know enough to understand when something can't be fixed. It'd be better if I just left."
  1209. >She hops off her chair and lands flat on her face.
  1210. >"A-alright, I'm drunk."
  1211. >She slowly gets up on her hooves and starts wobbling towards the front door.
  1212. >She trips after a few steps.
  1213. >You just watch her struggling to get up before you realize you're not just watching a damn movie here- you can help.
  1214. >You turn and stand up-
  1215. >Bon Bon runs past you and flocks over to Nonny.
  1216. >She lazily waves a hoof.
  1217. >"N-no, I've got it. I've been drunker."
  1218. >Bon Bon just watches as Nonny takes a few steps and falls into the fridge.
  1219. >"O-okay, just a quick drop outside would be good."
  1220. >Bon Bon has Nonny lean on her to walk.
  1221. >You, Cheerilee and Lyra just watch, all hoping it means good things for them both.
  1222. >Sure enough, Bon Bon leads Nonny away from the door and towards her room.
  1223. >"Wh-where are you-"
  1224. >"We can talk upstairs..."
  1225. >Just before they both leave, you see a hopeful smile on Bon Bon's face.
  1226. >You immediately turn back to the table, seeing the same look on the two.
  1227. >You're sure you share the same grin.
  1228.  
  1229. >"...Think it's too early to celebrate?"
  1230. "Nah, I think we've done our job here. I mean, did you see that look Bon Bon had?"
  1231. >"...Where the hay could we even celebrate? It's midnight."
  1232. >You look all pause.
  1233. >Lyra lifts her hoof up.
  1234. >"I say we celebrate by helping me with paperwork! Who's with me?"
  1235. >You and Cheerilee just stare at each other.
  1236. >Then you face the huge bottle of scotch on the counter.
  1237. "...Wanna make it a drinking game?"
  1238. >You all exchange a few unsure looks.
  1239. >Then smile.
  1240. >"Well, I've done it before..."
  1241. >"Sure! Bust that thang open!"
  1242. >You hop over to the counter and grab a few glasses.
  1243. >"Woo, paperwork parTAY!"
  1244. >
  1245. >...Your head...
  1246. >So much pain.
  1247. >You open your eyes and hold your head with a groan.
  1248. >You're still sitting at the table with Lyra and Cheerilee.
  1249. >There's a neatly stacked pile of papers off to the side.
  1250. >Then there's a chessboard, where you've got a game going on with her.
  1251. >You slowly move a knight across the board.
  1252. >Checkmate.
  1253. >The bottle of scotch you remember picking up is empty, and there's a half-empty bottle of whiskey alongside it.
  1254. >And there's a few shot glasses spread amongst you three.
  1255. >You, naturally, have the most.
  1256. >Obviously they were refilled, though.
  1257. >...A lot.
  1258. >You glance over at the bottles again, then turn to the two ponies.
  1259. >Lyra's hoof is over a piece of paper with loads of tally marks on it.
  1260. >She had both yours and Cheerilee's name down on separate sides of it.
  1261. >You were both tied with fourteen marks.
  1262. >...Interesting.
  1263. >You see them both start to slightly stir in their chairs.
  1264. >The move a bit in your seat and get sun rays right in your fucking eyeholes.
  1265. "Ow, fuck!"
  1266. >And they both jump in their seats, staring at you with confused, pained looks.
  1267. "Uh, good morning?"
  1268.  
  1269. >Then they simultaneously wince and hold hooves to their heads.
  1270. >"It hurts to live."
  1271. >"Ngh, how much did I DRINK?"
  1272. >You grab the scotch and shake it a little.
  1273. "Too much, that's for sure."
  1274. >Your eyes fall to the chessboard.
  1275. "And enough for me to be beaten at chess."
  1276. >Cheerilee stares at the board and paper, before snapping to you.
  1277. >"And just what's THAT supposed to mean?"
  1278. "Uh, that I'm fucking AMAZING at chess? No way you'd beat me sober, and the fact that I can't even remember PLAYING tells me you never got the chance to see that."
  1279. >Lyra lazily paws at the board.
  1280. >"I-I don't even remember OWNING a chessboard..."
  1281. >"You? Amazing? Because it seems to ME that we're TIED."
  1282. "Who says Lyra wasn't drunk off her ass while she kept score?"
  1283. >"Yeah, I'm preeetty sure I was LOADED last night."
  1284. >Cheerilee just playfully glares at you.
  1285. >Then all three of you wince.
  1286. >"Can somepony shut the blinds, please?"
  1287. >Lyra throws them closed with her magic.
  1288. >You sigh.
  1289. >Though it doesn't kill your pain, it keeps the pain from killing you.
  1290. >A good plus.
  1291. >You hear a small yawn behind you.
  1292. >You all turn to face Bon Bon.
  1293. >Her mane is fucked up.
  1294. >She presses a few buttons on the coffee machine and yawns again before facing you.
  1295. >"Oh, hey, good morning."
  1296. >She puts a mug underneath it and watches it fill up, then does the same with another one.
  1297. >Then she sets them both on a tray and takes it away upstairs.
  1298. >Yup, definitely a good sign.
  1299. >Then you hear knocking at the door.
  1300. >Who in the dicks could be at the door at-
  1301. >Oh, right, it's just the morning.
  1302. >You instinctively crawl over to the door, Lyra, also instinctively, following you there.
  1303. >You open it and shield your eyes from the sun.
  1304. >Then you see purple.
  1305. "...Twilight?"
  1306. >She looks a bit flustered.
  1307. >"SWEET CELESTIA, FINALLY. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!"
  1308. >You grip your head.
  1309. "Uh, here?"
  1310. >"...There's been a new development..."
  1311.  
  1312. "'New development'? Twilight, I gotta say, your voice sounds really worried, and I'm really freaking hungover right now. What is it?"
  1313. >"...It'd be better if you saw."
  1314. >You groan and hold your head in your hands.
  1315. "You're so killing me right now, Twi."
  1316. >Her face turns sour.
  1317. >"Would you just come with me, already?!"
  1318. >Before you can politely flip her off, you're enveloped in a purple glow and teleported.
  1319. >You instantly fall on your knees and throw up all over the ground.
  1320. >Twilight jumps.
  1321. "Why would you fucking teleport m-"
  1322. >You throw up again.
  1323. "You bitc-"
  1324. >Again.
  1325. >You finally wait for a few seconds, then roll over and lie on the grass you ended up on, groaning.
  1326. "My life is pain."
  1327. >You cover your eyes and stay still on the ground.
  1328. >"Oh, stop being such a filly! Get up!"
  1329. >She magics your shit up, and you balance yourself.
  1330. "God, I'm so hungover..."
  1331. >"Well then stop it!"
  1332. >You glare at Twilight.
  1333. "That's like asking a dying kid to stop having cancer!"
  1334. >"What the hay is 'cancer'?!"
  1335. "...It's what you're giving me right now."
  1336. >She rolls her eyes and sighs.
  1337. >"Just wait here."
  1338. >She teleports away.
  1339. >You shield your eyes and survey your surroundings.
  1340. >Well, you're at Sweet Apple Acres.
  1341. >And you see Applejack headed your way.
  1342. >You talked to her maybe like, once.
  1343. >"...Anon?"
  1344. "Present."
  1345. >"...Where's the other one?"
  1346. >You look around yourself.
  1347. "Uh, 'other one'?"
  1348. >There's another flash, and you see Nonny and Twilight before you.
  1349. >Nonny clutches her stomach and throws up.
  1350. >"Fucking nigg-"
  1351. >She throws up again.
  1352. >"THAT other one."
  1353. >You glare at Twi.
  1354. "So then, Twilight, what the hell was so damn important that you needed to bring us both here?"
  1355. >Then, as if on cue, you see a mare walk up to you all.
  1356. >She's got a black mane and a green coat.
  1357. >...Well fuck.
  1358.  
  1359. >She just stares at you and Nonny.
  1360. >It's a blank stare.
  1361. >She doesn't say anything.
  1362. >You immediately feel yourself starting to get a bit uncomfortable.
  1363. >You slowly turn to Twilight.
  1364. "Can... can she speak?"
  1365. >"Yes."
  1366. >You snap back to her.
  1367. >She's glaring at you.
  1368. "Oh... That's good."
  1369. >She just keeps glaring.
  1370. >It's like she's peering into your soul.
  1371. >You slightly shiver.
  1372. >"...I don't like you."
  1373. >You frown.
  1374. >Nonny jumps in front of you.
  1375. >"-What about me? Do you like me?"
  1376. >She looks at her for a minute.
  1377. >"No."
  1378. >Wow, what a bitch.
  1379. >"Twilight's told me- in great detail, the kind of things you've done, and frankly, you both sound like assholes."
  1380. "Hey, I'm not the asshole here! Nonny is!"
  1381. >"Wow, way to throw me under the fucking bus, asshole! What happened to 'understanding' me and all that shit?"
  1382. "Well you're better now, aren't you? Besides, you laid Bon Bon, so I fucking HELPE-"
  1383. >"Who the hell said I laid Bon Bon?!"
  1384. >You pause.
  1385. >Nonny's just narrowing her eyes at you.
  1386. >Then she smiles.
  1387. >"Dude, I so did. Kinda makes me want to watch 50 Shades of Grey, now."
  1388. "That's sick."
  1389. >"-Point proven. Luckily, I won't have to see you two for the rest of my life, though-"
  1390. >"Aaactually... I, uh, kind of had that castle of mine destroyed, and Applejack's home doesn't have any other rooms-"
  1391. >"-It's true-"
  1392. >"-So, you'll kind of have to, you know, stay with Nonny and Anon here..."
  1393. >The mare's eye twitches slightly.
  1394. >She glares at Twilight so hard you think she might vaporize her.
  1395. >"S-sorry!!"
  1396. >Twilight shields her eyes and cowers.
  1397. >The mare sighs and looks at you and Nonny.
  1398. >"Let's just leave quickly, so I can have more time finding a way to kill myself."
  1399. >"...Well shit, sounds good to me!"
  1400. "Just do it somewhere I won't be able to smell you, yeah?"
  1401. >She groans.
  1402.  
  1403. >You're walking with Nonny and the mare-
  1404. "Hey, so what should we call you, anyways?"
  1405. >"I don't give a shit."
  1406. >Nonny smiles.
  1407. >"Really now? So then, would you prefer Cock Goblin, or Niggerdick?"
  1408. >You start laughing.
  1409. >"-Just call me Twenty."
  1410. >You and Nonny share a confused look.
  1411. >"What's that name supposed to mean? The number of sticks in your ass?"
  1412. >You both start cracking up.
  1413. >"-No, actually. But it's also the number of times I've caught you staring at my ass. And I'd like you to stop."
  1414. "Ey, for a man-girl, you've really got a FINE ass."
  1415. >"Says the one who hasn't gotten any."
  1416. >Your smile dies.
  1417. >Nonny points and laughs.
  1418. "Hey, I could if I wanted to!"
  1419. >"And WHY don't you? Not man enough?"
  1420. >Nonny continues.
  1421. "N-no, I just-"
  1422. >"Don't like the idea of fucking a pony? Because how many times you've glanced at me says otherwise. You're just scared."
  1423. "Pft, of?"
  1424. >"I don't have anything to make a list with."
  1425. >"-OOOOOOH, ROASTED!!"
  1426. >You huff and cross your arms.
  1427. >You'll show her.
  1428. >You'll get Lyra on board and-
  1429. >"-And think, just for a little moment, whether Lyra really wants YOU, and not just your hands."
  1430. >Your frown deepens.
  1431. >N-no way, Lyra doesn't just want your hands! She's cool like that!
  1432. >...Right?
  1433.  
  1434. >...
  1435. >You're looking at Anon and watching him re-evaluate his life.
  1436. >Damn, "Twenty" here really fucked with his mind.
  1437. >But you are strong, tough, resilient!
  1438. >...Although yesterday said otherwise-
  1439. >But you shan't fall for this witch's vile tricks-
  1440. >"Heads up."
  1441. >You look up and smash into a pole.
  1442. >Anon just continues walking, oblivious to the world around him.

Bird Pone Thread (Complete)

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Bird Pone Thread: Blu (Discontinued)

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Anonfilly Thread (Complete)

by Bluebirdd065

Little League Thread (Complete)

by Bluebirdd065

Little League Thread: League and Anon HQ (Discontinued)

by Bluebirdd065