Food Golems

These creatures are, for lack of a better term, sentient food beings. They have been observed in various “flavors” comprised of both simple and complex food products. Flavored gelatin-like slimes, hayburgers, cakes, pies are just a few examples. Beyond the slimes, nearly all food types observed appear to mirror that which comprises the modern Equestrian diet. Fast food-style examples such as hayburgers tend to be greasy, and little more needs to be said about the dessert-based individuals.

It is not currently known where they come from, where they reside, or how they originate. The base forms of these creatures was observed in a remote forest to the north, but subsequent and prior observation attempts failed to find any trace of the creatures, even accounting for seasonal cycles. In all known sightings, they simply appear at a location and a time with no discernable pattern. That is not to say they simply pop into existence. Rather, they seem adept at avoiding long-term observation.

The creatures express sapience most noticeably when they find a “target”, or “victim”. They will morph forms into something related to the target. While they have been observed and reports have been filed in other lands with other predominant species, for familiarity they will be described as turning into ponies. The food creatures will take the form of a pony the target knows, or a pony the target is infatuated with. In some cases, they will take the form of the target. In other cases, they will create an entirely new pony. A lay term for these creatures may be “Foodpony” or “Food Golem”.

On close observation, it remains apparent that the creature is in fact a food golem. There will be details in their bodies reminiscent of the food they are made of. From a distance, or under not-particularly-close observation, they appear as the pony they are masquerading as. There are signs one can use to detect if they are in the presence of one of these creatures before it is too late:

• Foodponies have an unnaturally large stomach capacity and lightning-fast metabolism. Any amount of food they eat, which will be an excessively large amount, is nearly instantaneously metabolized and added to their bodies in the form of what appears to be body fat, but is in reality the same food composition they are naturally made of. They can eat obscene amounts of food, and will visibly gain dozens of pounds in the course of a single meal.

• Foodponies will strongly encourage their target to engage with excessive food consumption as often as possible. Big meals, constant snacks, even waking up in the middle of the night to have a feast-sized snack.

• Foodponies will seek to grow as fat as possible, while fattening their target up as much as they can during the process. The victim perceives the situation as a loving relationship with mutual gaining.

These signs are more difficult to spot than one realizes. For one, in the current era, it is so common as to be normal for all of these to occur naturally among citizens. Redefining the definition of “obesity” is required to reduce the percentage of qualifying population in Equestria below 100%. The same holds true for the concept of overeating, as it is no longer considered a normal meal unless it is large enough to burden, or even stretch, the stomach. The same holds true for ponies gaining weight at a rapid pace, and entering relationships based on one or more members of the party gaining weight. What is important to pay attention to here, is the pace.

Despite the previously mentioned details present on the foodpony’s body, this is not a reliable sign unless you are certain somepony else is their target. To the target, the foodpony and any oddities in their appearance and behavior are indistinguishable from a real pony. The magic of these food golems is such that they can not only hold sentience despite having no nerves or brain, organs of any type – they can also psychically manipulate their target. Other ponies in the area may notice the physical oddities, but unless the pony being copied happens to be in the area, which never seems to be the case, there is no discerning the difference between the food golem and the real pony. Their personality is perfectly cloned, with the caveats mentioned above. There is one sign that is impossible to miss:

• Foodponies initially appear thin – normal by standards from the past.

To a target, their foodpony friend being thin is no odder than any given member of their peers weighing over 500 pounds. Any passers-by who notice something odd tend to be ignored or disputed by the victim. If the victim sees the pony the foodpony is masquerading as, they see the real pony as somepony else. This has particularly interesting effects in the cases where the foodpony is masquerading as its target. The target in that case will even see themselves in the mirror as somepony else.

The infiltration of the food golem and their control of their target can last weeks or months. The target by this point has gained a considerable amount of weight, while the foodpony has fattened to immobility and beyond – that is the appearance. In reality, they are nothing more than primed for attack. The illusion falls, and the target is now aware of reality. The foodpony at this point only maintains control of the target so far as holding them in place with mouth wide open, unable to move or react.

The foodpony, at this stage, thrusts itself into the target’s mouth, forcing its entire body, malleable as liquid regardless of its composition, into the victim’s stomach. No matter how large the food golem, or how small the pony, the entirety of the food golem fills the victim’s stomach to completion. There is undoubtedly magic in play here, as no other explanation exists for the victim being able to stretch and expand to such an extent, with no temporary or lasting physical damage – unless you count the inevitable weight gain as damage. This magic lasts until every last gram of the foodpony is fully digested and added to the victim’s body in the form of body fat. At no point during this process is it possible to vomit out the food creature, although there appear to be no restrictions on eating additional food during this time.

In terms of lasting effects, they are as follows:

• Additional body fat formed on the body. The amount depends on the size of the foodpony, and the food they are comprised of. While there are some comprised of things like salads, it is not safe to count on that saving you. Chances are, the victim will be afflicted with a much more fattening food. It is possible to lose this weight through diet and exercise, but ponies actively avoid those actions. The amount gained is always enough to elevate the target into a new weight class. Depending on starting size and food golem composition, it is possible for multiple weight classes to be advanced through.

• Expanded stomach capacity. While not stretched nearly as large as one would fear, the stomach of a victim is mathematically estimated to have a capacity of, on average, 1.55 times their original capacity, and their appetite and hunger demand nothing less than fully satisfying that new capacity.

• A weakness to whatever food their golem was comprised of. For example, a blueberry pie food golem’s victim will, upon so much as smelling a blueberry pie, simultaneously remember their time with the food golem fondly, and, if possible, gorge themselves in excess with that food.

• The pony that the food golem was disguised as will be seen in a very favorable light by the victim. There have been relationships formed between a victim and the pony they thought they were dating already, and quite successful ones at that.

Further observations:

• As of yet, food golems have not targeted anypony who is already in the immobile weight class. They have been known to target those who are nearly there, or mask their immobility with tools and assistance, but will often target those who are on the thinner side.

• As of yet, one who has been a victim has never been targeted again.

• The most notable victim-golem pair was a Pegasus and a chocolate pie food golem. The Pegasus was notably only chubby at the start, among the last holdouts from Cloudsdale and its former obesity-avoidant culture. By the end, said Pegasus was left immobile. A single skipped meal would have returned him to mobility, if only barely, but the state of his stomach was such that he was incapable of not eating enough to earn himself a permanent place in that class, after the food golem had finished with him.

• There is one known case of a food golem pairing with an immobile pony. The target became immobilized during the foodpony’s gaining stage. A foodpony does not break off from its target if they grow immobile during the overall process. The target is known as the sole case of obesity-related health issues suffered in the modern era outside of the city of Foaledo. He is still alive and has since recovered, but months of immobility, binge eating enough to continue gaining weight during that period, then having his nearly two-ton frame engorged with over two tons of red velvet cake from his food golem and gaining almost as much weight was a significant shock to his system.