To Catch A Falling Star

Status: Complete

Originally completed 2024_10_14

 

Synopsis: Nightmare Moon has an episode, and Anon tries to comfort her.

Sad, Feelings, Romance.

Note: This series was originally conceived with an RGRE bend to it, but as I am writing it I am not finding much of that bend making it into the writing so it is indistinguishable from a normal story. The first installment had more RGRE inside of it, but not this one. That is why there is an RGRE tag with a question mark.

This story is a sequel to Nightmare Moon and the Healing Heart, though both are capable of being read as standalones.

Nightmare Moon and the Healing Heart: https://ponepaste.org/9817

========

 

A mare, the Queen of night, Nightmare Moon, opened her eyes and beheld the moon again, stretching in front of her in shining grey white. She looked down and felt the gritty dust under her hooves, she looked around and saw the hovel hole she carved to sleep in. The sight was familiar, too familiar. It had been her prison for a thousand years. She remembered her preparations and tallied them once again but found they were all spoiled. She reached out with magic and felt the stars were misplaced. The stars which were painstakingly aligned to assist her had gone past their targets and now Nightmare moon would have to reposition them. Hundreds of runes across the surface of the moon were exhausted and faded, and so were her stars. She had been storing magic in them for hundreds of years to try and get back to Equestria and it was all gone now! Her hooves began shaking as an icy horror crept up her back. *Nay... Please nay* Nightmare Moon thought.

 

“Damn it all to tartarus!”

 

Pain, shame, desperation, gripping hopelessness all swirled around her in dark currents. She could feel it in her veins, her heart raced, and she felt feverish. Her legs failed and she collapsed into a ball, tears in her eyes. The darkness of space loomed over her. *Nay, nay, nay*, she repeated to herself. The swirling dark emotions gripped her insides and settled in her stomach.

 

---

 

Nightmare Moon jolted up from the imaginary bed and gasped for air where there was none. Her stomach was filled with poison, flipping over itself. She flailed and became tangled in the false sheets as she stumbled away and retched on the ground. She spat and heaved again between crying gasps. Nightmare Moon let out a pained wail before another heave. Sweat poured from her skin. She could hear the blood surge through her ears as her heart pounded on her ribcage. Her bones and muscles shivered on their own uncontrollably, the vacuum of space was cold against her skin.

 

“Nay, nay, nay~” repeated Nightmare Moon.

 

“Hey, are you alright?” said Anon, having been awoken by Nightmare Moon.

 

A cool hand gingerly touched Nightmare Moon’s nape. She flinched and swatted away the offending appendage. Anon stood by looking down at her with concern.

 

“Do not touch me,” Nightmare Moon growled. “Thou art a lie.”

 

“I- what?” questioned Anon.

 

Nightmare Moon knew everything around her was a hallucination, her fraying and treacherous mind betrayed her and let her live a fake dream at the worst moment and now she had squandered all her efforts to return home. The arid moon landscape clashed with the false lavish living quarters of a queen, both spun around her in a dizzying way. She whimpered and collapsed with her back to the stony ridge of a crater, vomit still clinging to her chin. Tears began streaming from her eyes.

 

Anon rushed to Nightmare Moon’s side, panic written on his face. “Okay, okay, just calm down. Can you explain to me what’s happening?”

 

“Shut up! Thou art a fakeness, simply a hallucination trying to trap me here! Just a damaging, useless, imaginary hallucination,” yelled Nightmare Moon into the vacuum.

 

“Trap you where, your own bedroom?” Anon waved to the landscape with his hand.

 

“Thee cur. I-” Nightmare Moon cut herself off. She pressed a hoof to her temple and grunted through gritted teeth. “-I said close thy mouth, cease speaking to me.”

 

Nightmare Moon closed her eyes and muttered under her breath. “I just need to focus and the dreams will go afar.”

 

---

 

Anon waited, unsure how to proceed. Nightmare Moon continued to mutter and curse under her breath while shaking violently.

 

“Hey, Nighty, how about we just go to the washroom and clean up a bit?” suggested Anon.

 

Nightmare Moon flinched at Anon’s words and continued to mutter under her breath, ignoring him. She squeezed her skull between both hooves, eyes shut with tremendous effort. Anon ventured a touch on her shoulder and felt her flesh was near scalding hot beneath his hand. Her eyes snapped open.

 

Nightmare Moon sprang to her feet and bellowed at Anon. “I told thee not to touch me!”

 

Anon could smell the sour vomit on Nightmare Moon’s breath. Before he could react, she reared back, lifting both hooves and pistoning them into his chest. The impact was nothing like he had ever felt before, and the room blurred with displacement, inertia whipping his limbs before him. He soared for a moment before impacting the polished wooden floor and careening through an elegant table, demolishing it. Air left him, and he struggled for breath that refused to come. Multiple points of pain bloomed through the shocked. He tried to sit up and failed.

 

“Jesus...” Anon couldn’t muster the air to finish the statement.

 

Nightmare Moon stood over Anon, still shaking, still crying, and yelled at him on the floor. “If thou touch me again, I’ll obliterate thee! I’ll obliterate everything!”

 

Anon flinched and shielded himself. Nightmare Moon’s face was contorted with conflicting anger and guilt. She returned to the wall, forcing herself to not watch him anymore. He continued to wheeze on the floor for a full minute before any strength returned to him.

 

“Jesus christ,” said Anon.

 

Slowly, Anon rolled over to his front. Blood dripped from breaks in the skin. He braced against the wall and brought himself up, grunting in pain. *Did I break anything?* Anon thought to himself. He wobbled as he slowly walked to a chair and took a seat with a grand sigh. It hurt to breathe.

 

Anon looked to Nightmare Moon and saw her against the wall. She could sense he was there, watching her as she heard him shuffle to the chair but she refused to acknowledge him. Anon felt fear, and he looked to the door, deciding that he should leave to find help. Wordlessly, Anon hobbled to the pull cord that summoned assistance and pulled it three times for guards. A distant bell on the other end would ring and help would be there soon. Then, he made his way out of the room.

 

---

 

Anon sat slumped against the wall, nothing to keep him company except for the soft light of the wall sconces in the looming corridor. He didn’t have to wait long before a squad of bat ponies came barreling down the hallway at him. They were Nightmare Moon’s personal guard.

 

One of the guards immediately went to Anon’s side, checking his injuries. “My Lord, what happened to you?”

 

The guards fanned out, taking defensive positions.

 

“It was the Queen, she’s freaking out. I think she’s hallucinating,” Anon paused to take a painful breath. “I think I need a doctor, and we need to do something to help the Nighty.”

 

The captain of the squad, a stoic batpony mare, had already cracked open the door to look in the room. “Yup, It’s another code 117.”

 

Anon sucked in another painful breath in surprise. “You have a code for this? And what do you mean by *another*?”

 

The squad captain ignored Anon for a moment and addressed the guard checking Anon’s injuries. “What’s his status?”

 

“He’s roughed up bad, but nothing is broken sir,” said the guard.

 

The captain nodded and finally addressed Anon. “I’ll answer your questions on the way to the infirmary, and then we’ll get you patched up. Can you walk?”

 

Anon just nodded and moved to get up, accepting a helping hoof from the captain.

 

The captain instructed two of the squad to remain and keep other ponies out for their own safety. She and another guard moved to help brace him as he walked, flying beside him and holding him. The sounds of their steps seemed to be sucked away in the castle corridor, making it exceptionally quiet.

 

Anon wheezed as they walked. “So, code 117, what is that?”

 

“The queen has these episodes of madness, as you've seen. That is a code 117. We don’t know what exactly to make of the episodes and nothing we’ve tried can snap her out of it. The best we can do is to protect the Crown’s image and keep other ponies away for their safety. More than once, she’s put a guard in the hospital but she’s not killed anypony yet,” said The guardmare captain

 

The other guard gave Anon a hard look. “The crown would appreciate your *discretion* with this knowledge.”

 

“Don’t worry about that. I’m literally in bed with the crown, I know a thing or two about discretion. What happens between the sheets, stays between the sheets, at least until laundry day,” said Anon.

 

That elicited a short laugh from the guard. Anon laughed from his own joke and ended up hacking from the strain on his ribs.

 

Anon spoke once he could breathe again. “Is there really nothing we can do?”

 

“We can wait,” said the captain.

 

“That isn’t ‘doing something’. That’s doing nothing. So basically the answer is no?” said Anon

 

“Yes, the answer is no,”

 

---

 

After inspection and cleaning, the guards found no stitches were required for Anon, just some ointment and bandages. Anon continued to ask for more details about Nightmare Moon and her madness as he was treated by the guards. None of the information he found was any comfort to him. The guards told him that Nightmare Moon’s madness could last for hours, with the longest episode recorded being almost a full day. The thought of leaving Nightmare Moon to wallow in the false despair made his heart tender, but at the same time it was like trying to approach a dangerous animal. A primal fear of violent consequences and pain greater than he was already feeling gripped him. Anon resolved to try and help Nightmare Moon, despite the dangers.

 

“I’m going to go back and try to talk to Nightmare Moon,” said Anon.

 

The captain paused but did not show any emotion. She measured her words and tone when she spoke. “My Lord, I advise against that action.”

 

“I want to try and help her,”

 

“You have already pissed her off once by bothering her. In our experience, her fuse will be short. If you piss her off again, then she will lash out worse than last time and possibly do permanent damage,”

 

“I’m still going to try,”

 

The captain shook her head and gave Anon a withering scowl. “You can get a lot of ponies in trouble, not just yourself. My job is to keep you safe.”

 

Anon had to think about that statement for a moment. The captain was correct, if he got hurt, then Nightmare Moon could get angry at her guards once she was well again. The need to push the limits still drove him on.

 

“Are you going to stop me?” asked Anon.

 

“It’s not my place to give marital advice, but I suggest supporting her from a distance, and then you can do whatever you like when she’s... herself again.” said the captain.

 

Anon hadn’t heard a refutation to his question, so he needled her. “So you’re not going to stop me.”

 

“Sweet sea of tranquility, you’re stubborn as a mule aren’t you?” said the other guard.

 

Anon had heeded those words but still chose to proceed with trying to help Nightmare Moon. He was her beloved. He was there to help her and it was time to be bold. Soon, Anon found himself in front of the door to the bedroom again, preparing to go in and confront the demons of delusion that had taken Nightmare Moon. The guard squad stood on standby, ready to swoop in and steal him away if the situation became violent. Anon twisted the door handle gently, slowly, then peeled open the portal. He waited for some explosive reaction but there was none. There was just the sounds of inner turmoil bleeding out of Nightmare Moon. He pulled open the door fully and saw her curled up on the floor, rivers of hair spilling everywhere. Her horn glowed with intense power, and Anon could feel the mana in the air making his hairs stand on end. What Anon saw, pained him. Nightmare Moon was rocking on the floor, wracked with tremors, sobbing and gasping. It sounded like she was drowning in despair. Tears flowed freely from her eyes, mucous from her nose. Her coat was soaked in sweat. Red eyes lolling about in their sockets with wild fear and anger, like prey in a trap. Anxious bite marks marred her left hoof, leaking godblood. An ugly wail pushed through her mouth. It was haunting watching Nightmare Moon reduced to such a repulsively broken cinder of what she once was. It was the difference between knowing of madness, and seeing it firsthand. Anon forced himself forward. He took a few steps into the room, and allowed the noise of his feet to gently make his presence known. The mana in the room washed over his skin in electric sensations. Nightmare Moon continued to languish on the floor, not making any moves that indicated she had heard him.

 

“Nighty,” addressed Anon.

 

Nightmare Moon flinched. Anon waited for more but nothing occurred.

 

“Can I talk with you?” said Anon gently.

 

Anon’s words had the same effect as throwing salt on a slug, Nightmare Moon instinctively pulled inward, curling into a tight ball. She covered her head and ears, trying to block out the world

 

Anon raised his voice. “I want to help. Can we just talk for a minute, please?”

 

Every word seemed to cause Nightmare Moon more pain, she shivered and squeezed her ears harder.

 

Nightmare Moon stuttered as her speech was interrupted by her bawling and chattering teeth. “Close. Thine. Mouth. Thee be a liar, thy art not of stuff! Just a figment, just a dream.”

 

“I’m not a liar, and even if I was a dream, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to help you,” said Anon.

 

Nightmare Moon grabbed her own hair in shaking curled hooves. Anon felt like he was making no progress pleading with her. He needed some way into her world, a way to draw her into a discourse. He racked his brain on how to get an inch from her.

 

“I know you don’t think I’m real, but on the slim chance that I am, even one in a million, can you help me to understand so I can help you?” said Anon.

 

Anon waited but Nighty didn’t respond so he continued. “Just because I’m a dream or hallucination of your’s, doesn’t mean I can’t think or don’t have logic. If you’re confused about what’s real, maybe I can help you figure it out.”

 

Nightmare Moon shifted and forced out a response between her unsteady breathing. “I already knoweth what tis real.”

 

“Can you tell me what that is?” said Anon.

 

Anon waited patiently for Nightmare Moon to reply. It was a long empty wait, made to feel all the longer from the pathetic noises she emanated, before she finally gave in.

 

Nightmare Moon spoke without facing Anon. “Tis the Moon. I’m on the Moon.”

 

“Why do you think you’re on the moon?” said Anon

 

“I can see it. Everything, every detail as crisp and desolate as can be,” said Nightmare Moon.

 

“And what about the bedroom? Me? Canterlot? Earth?” said Anon.

 

“Tis here too. I can see it everywhere at the same time. I don’t know how else to describe it, they art simply both there, closeth enough to touch,” Nightmare Moon punctuated her statement by grabbing some imaginary dust and lifting it up, letting it pour out of her hoof.

 

“If they’re both here and you can see them, how do you know if the moon is the real one then?”

 

“I simply *know*, I remember tis the fact.” said Nightmare Moon.

 

Anon had to think for a minute. It was hard to argue with Nightmare Moon’s statement, though not because it was correct, but because it was insular and difficult to penetrate from the outside.

 

“It might have been a fact in the past but it changed, I wasn’t here 5 years ago but that’s when they told me you escaped,” said Anon.

 

Nightmare Moon finally raised her head and turned to Anon, and he could see her eyes glowering through a veil of cosmic hair, tears smeared across her cheeks. “That was a dream.”

 

Anon wanted to tenderly hold Nightmare Moon and wipe her face clean of tears but he stayed his hand. “You told me before that when you were on the moon, after so long you couldn’t even dream of escape; Couldn’t dream greener pastures; or what it was like back home. If that’s true, then how are you dreaming me? This bedroom, and canterlot?”

 

Nightmare Moon’s head fell down, her horn scratching the wooden floor. “I was wrong!”

 

Anon shook his head. “I don’t think you were.”

 

Nightmare Moon didn’t respond. She and Anon did not speak for a time. Only the sobbing and whispering ringing of magic filled the air. *At least she’s tolerating my presence*, thought Anon. He turned to the doorway and saw the guard captain watching him with narrowed eyes, ever alert. He felt like there was something he should say to her, but there was nothing that came to mind. She had witnessed all his talk and heard everything already. The other guards crowded around the door, peeking in, curious about Anon's progress. Anon sought refuge in a seat to rest his weary body. He groaned as bent down to pick up a chair and placed it near Nightmare Moon, the bruises making themselves known with every movement.

 

“There has to be more to it than this. There has to be something else to help determine what is reality other than ‘you remember the fact’ that the moon is reality. Can you think of anything else that might help us find out?” asked Anon.

 

Nightmare Moon didn’t respond.

 

“If I am a dream of yours, then you’d be working with yourself? Maybe I’m your subconscious trying to help. Once you know for sure, maybe the hallucination will be banished for good,” said Anon.

 

“Thee nay really believe that,” growled Nightmare Moon.

 

If I’m not real, If I really am a dream like you say, then I don’t really have beliefs so it doesn’t matter. Personally though, if I was a dream,I wouldn’t mind collapsing this hallucination,” said Anon.

 

Nightmare Moon peeked up at Anon. “Wherefore not, wherefore wouldn’t thee mind?”

 

“Because I love you, and want you to be happy. Real happiness, not a fake hallucination of happiness. If you are on the moon, you deserve to go back home,” said Anon.

 

Nightmare Moon was silent for a spell, and Anon thought she wouldn’t respond. Then she slowly sat up on shaking legs. Her eyes traced an invisible horizon, then looked into Anon’s eyes. She willed her sobbing and stuttering to stop but her speech was still watery.

 

“I can remember the moon, in perfect clarity, every second of continuity until now, but the world, Earth, Equestria, I canst. I-” Nightmare Moon fell back and clumsily collapsed to the floor, the crying taking over once more. Anon rushed to her side. He looked down at her, but she didn’t look back. She was looking past the ceiling, to something only she could see. She raised a hoof, reaching for it.

 

“Earth...” whispered Nightmare Moon. She let her hoof fall to the floor. “There's so much I canst remember. I nay remember the taste of food, the touch of grass, the sound of water. I reachet out and try but it’s just not there.”

 

Anon was at a loss for words. He wanted to grab hold of Nightmare Moon, his eyes darted to the captain for guidance. The captain had been watching him like an owl and could tell what he was thinking. She shook her head ‘no’ with a severe expression. What could he do then, to help Nightmare Moon remember she was home? What other arguments were there to make? He looked back down at the inconsolable mare who was covering her eyes, trying to hide from the world again. Anon stood up, his mind alight, desperately trying to think of something. Eventually, Anon left her and rejoined the guards.

 

The captain was quick to speak. “My Lord, You gave it a good shot, but me thinks it’s time to just let it run its course.”

 

Nightmare Moon’s last words echoed in Anon’s mind and he began assembling a plan. It was not simplistic, but he had to try.

 

“I’m not giving up yet, Captain. I want to try something, but I’m going to need your help,” said Anon.

 

---

 

Anon explained his plan to the guards, and they all peeled off to accomplish their own parts in it. With the help of some lonesome night shift maids, they quickly realized Anon’s plan and he was soon standing in front of Nightmare Moon’s door once again. He gently pushed the servant’s food cart ahead of him, laden with hot goods, and proceeded inside.

 

Nightmare Moon was on the floor, hoof furiously carving calculations and runes into the floor with a broken piece of ceramic pot. Her horn was still building magic, Anon could feel the air and space warp around him as he got closer. He could hear her babbling about trajectories, spells, and mana quotients. He knew very little about such things but even to him it sounded like nonsense instead of proper planning.

 

Anon gently made himself known. “Nighty, I have some things to show you.”

 

Nightmare Moon flinched. “What tis it?”

 

Anon lifted a silver cover off a platter just enough to pull out a hot cookie. The rich and sweet smells of chocolate and butter vigorously introduced themselves. He put it on a small plate and gently waved it under Nightmare Moon’s nose.

 

Nightmare Moon recoiled. “What tis that?”

 

“It’s food, a chocolate chip cookie. Do you like the smell?”

 

Nightmare Moon nodded, but she looked afraid. Anon continued to waft the cookie, taking care not to intrude too close as to offend her sense of personal space.

 

“Do you want to try a bite?” suggested Anon.

 

Nightmare Moon shook her head frantically. “Nay.”

 

Anon put away the cookie, then offered a hand to stand up. “I got more to show you, on the balcony. Can you come with me?”

 

Nightmare Moon’s eyes slowly traveled from Anon’s face to his outstretched hand. Anon waited for a long moment as she stared at it with intense concentration, finally she gave him her hoof. Anon could feel her skin was near scalding hot, like a fresh pot of tea. He helped her up and lead her to the balcony, daring to place a hand on her burning withers. The unroofed portion of the balcony was covered in a turf of thick grass, ripped from the castle lawn as Anon had commanded. Nightmare Moon didn’t seem to notice, staring straight ahead, until her hoof touched down on the grass. Her head snapped down and she took a step back from the turf in alarm, looking in confusion.

 

“It’s grass,” said Anon.

 

Nightmare Moon’s breathing was laborious as she slowly walked out onto the grass. She gently ran her bare hoof through the blades, then lay down on her belly.

 

A faint memory seemed to trickle back to Nightmare Moon. “That’s right... this tis grass.”

 

Anon joined her on the grass, not minding that he was potentially getting dirt on his sleepwear. Nightmare Moon continued rubbing her hooves over the grass. A drop fell, then more and more, turning into a soft rain pattering against the balcony and them both. She blinked slowly and looked up at the clouds, seemingly fascinated with them. Anon could hear the plips all around him, feel the impact of cool drops on his skin, and see the gentle clouds and falling rain.

 

---

 

Nightmare Moon was lost to a daze. No thoughts or impulses passed through her until the view and rain was blocked by Anon with an umbrella. How long had she been sitting there?

 

“How are you doing?” said Anon.

 

Nightmare Moon turned her gaze to Anon, with a confused expression. She was unable to fully understand, her mind struggling between competing realities. She looked down at the frog of her hoof, then ran it through the wet grass. The water drops clung to her coat and hair, weighing it down and adding a dark sheen. Anon slowly ate a cookie as he waited patiently for Nightmare Moon to answer.

 

Nightmare Moon gestured to the air around them. “What tis this?”

 

“It’s rain, water falling from the sky,” said Anon.

 

Nightmare Moon wavered in place. It felt like the whole world had entered freefall.

 

“How about we take a seat, out of the rain.” said Anon, hoping to sit Nightmare Moon down before she fell over.

 

Anon directed Nightmare Moon to a table and chairs under the roofed portion of the balcony where she collapsed into one of the seats. The items from the maids cart had been transferred to the table. There was a silver cover that Anon opened to reveal a plate piled high with various hot baked goods. Nearby was a plate of cheese cut into sticks, and a tea set. Nightmare Moon could feel herself detach from everything around her as she watched the goods being revealed, not looking at anything in particular.

 

Anon held out a chocolate chip cookie for Nighty. “I heated these in the oven so they’re nice and gooey, maybe this will help you.”

 

Nighty stared at the cookie with fear in her eyes. She accepted it in a shaking hoof, and pulled it in half at a glacial pace. The warm chocolate stretched between the golden brown halves. Her eyes inspected the tearing pieces closely, the way the cookie crumbled, each tantalizing crumb that fell. The smell was inviting, her nostrils flared as she took in the scent, yet still she hesitated.

 

“Is something wrong?” asked Anon, watching her keenly.

 

Nightmare Moon answered without moving her eyes. “I’m scared, afraid this could just beest a stone.”

 

Nightmare Moon eventually took a small bite of the cookie. She shivered as she chewed and it spread across her tongue. She forced herself to swallow with a gasp, then took another bite. A shuddering breath interrupted her, and another tear escaped her eye. She finished the cookie but it didn’t feel like an accomplishment, it felt like capitulation and desperation. Anon watched her but didn’t comment.

 

“Would you like something to drink?” asked Anon.

 

Nightmare Moon sighed. “Very well.”

 

Anon winced as he reached out with the teapot. He filled two teacups with a rich smelling brown drink, and added a stick of cheese. It smelled of chocolate and hot milk, and Nightmare Moon began to remember.

 

“Hot cocoa?” asked Nightmare Moon.

 

“Yup,” said Anon.

 

Nightmare Moon pushed the stick of cheese from one side of the cup to the other. It confused her. Anon offered an explanation before she could ask.

 

“I know a cheese stick in hot cocoa isn’t normal, but it’s what I like to do. I don’t remember if this is what people did where I’m from, but it feels right to me, you know?” said Anon.

 

Nightmare Moon gave a hum of acknowledgement. She couldn’t muster the effort for much else. She couldn’t even stand to look Anon in the face. Everything felt numb and tired. The heat of panic and emotion had left her. She still held onto her magic though, trying to gather as much as she could. She couldn’t let that go.

 

Nightmare Moon stirred her cocoa with the cheese stick once more, the heat quickly softening it. She noticed Anon pull out his stick and take a bite, so she mimicked him with a nibble. The soft cheese mixing with the cocoa taste worked well together, though she had to force herself to swallow. The warmth and rich creaminess was wasted, swallowed by a dark bottomless ocean of numb dread. Nightmare Moon was compliant with Anon’s attempt to help but she was not loving. There was just a cold frustration and exhausted loathing for everything around her. She mustered the flickering memories of fond emotions, and forced herself to look at Anon. He smiled in a concerned way and commented about something unimportant that Nightmare Moon only partially listened to. She could see through his torso through his robe opening, her eyes drifted around his body which was peppered with bandages.

 

“Can thee showeth me thine bruises?” said Nightmare Moon.

 

Anon was surprised. “Umm, alright.”

 

Anon pulled open his robe to completely reveal his torso which had two large patches of gauze held on with tape. He peeled them off slowly and Nighty saw the large blotchy purple bruises clearly outlining her hoof marks.

 

Anon made a pained sound as he twisted and showed Nighty the bandages on his back. “I got these too but I can’t put them back on if I take them off.”

 

Nightmare Moon wanted to feel regret, empathy, or anything else, but she couldn’t. How could she, when he was potentially just another figment of her imagination. On the small chance that he wasn’t, she didn’t want to lose him, but she had to focus on getting back home. She couldn’t let herself be waylaid and fooled by a hallucination. All Nightmare Moon could feel was a directionless anxiety of impending disaster.

 

Nightmare Moon rubbed her tired eyes, worn out from crying. “Thou should ice them, at least for a short while. Here, allow me.”

 

Nightmare Moon cast a spell, enchanting the bandages covering the bruises to be cold. Anon perked up as he felt the bandages cool down his swelling skin.

 

“That feels pretty good, thanks,” said Anon.

 

Nightmare Moon turned her eyes to the innumerable lights of Canterlot, and as well the horizon of the moon where it meets the void of space. She looked up at the moon, and at the earth. She could feel her heart pounding, telling her something was wrong but she couldn’t decide what. There was too much risk, she had the potential to lose everything. The minutes stretched on with the pattering of rain. She put her head down on the table, letting her hair spill everywhere, and closed her eyes.

 

“Is something wrong?” said Anon.

 

“I’m terrified, and I nay know what’s real anymore.” said Nightmare Moon.

 

“Well, is that better than before?” said Anon.

 

“Nay,” said Nightmare Moon.

 

Anon gestured at the food. “So, remembering some of these thing’s hasn’t helped.”

 

“Anon, canst thou leave me alone, simply-” Nightmare Moon tried to take a steadying breath. She sniffled, then pressed her hooves into her eyes and left them there. “-simply, prithee. I beg of thee.”

 

Anon was crestfallen, it was clearly written in his voice. He had hoped to accomplish at least some small measure of progress.

 

“Alright, I’ll go to bed then. I’ll just be in the guest room though, alright?” said Anon.

 

Another useless gesture, another work of fiction created by a sick mind. Nightmare Moon waved Anon off with a dismissive acknowledgement. He plodded around her, and no doubt he looked back, waiting for her to turn around, profess her regrets and say she loved him or some other nonsense. She did no such thing. She just cast her gaze back to the sky and watched the earth and twinkling stars, and tried to keep the harsh sun out of her eyes. She heard the balcony door close, and she was finally left alone with her scattered thoughts in the desolating lunar landscape.

 

---

 

Anon woke to the gentle prodding of a maid. He slowly pulled the sheets from himself, and rose. The sky was dark, as it always was during Nightmare Moon’s eternal night sky.

 

“Good morning, my lord. I hope the night wasn’t too difficult?” said the maid.

 

Anon rubbed fatigue from his eyes. “Oh, good morning, the night was some trouble, but we managed. What time is it?”

 

“It is 10am,” said the maid.

 

“Do you know where the Queen is?”

 

“Apologies, I do not know. I believe she left some time ago, I would assume she would attend to her duties by now,” said the maid.

 

“Alright, thanks for letting me know,” said Anon.

 

“Of course, my Lord,” said the maid.

 

Anon made his way to the Nightmare Moon’s room himself to investigate. He saw no signs of Nightmare Moon anywhere. Outside, on the balcony, he saw the grass turf was still there, muddy and crumbling from rain. The food he prepared was untouched from when he left, meaning that Nightmare Moon had not eaten any more after he left. He recounted that she had only eaten a cookie, a nibble of cheese, and a sip of cocoa. Anon sighed, he had hoped to cause some greater change.

 

---

 

Anon dearly wished to stay in Canterlot to help but his visit was only temporary, and he had already planned to leave that day. Either way, It did not seem like there was anything he could do for Nightmare Moon. The trip back to Ponyville was uneventful. The royal carriage was a smooth riding vehicle and the winds were gentle. They landed discreetly on the edge of Ponyville, out of sight. Just in time for Anon to deposit his things and make it to his afternoon shift at the diner. The disturbed sleep dragged on him, but a simple coffee covered until he could reach his bed. Ponyville was a small town though, and word traveled fast, so Anon found an expected pony, Twilight Sparkle, on his porch after work that night.

 

Twilight spoke in a measured tone. “How was your trip,”

 

Anon mentally prepared himself. “It was great, Canterlot is beautiful this time of year.”

 

There was a pregnant pause. Anon didn’t linger, he moved to retrieve his mail

 

“You visited her, didn’t you?” said Twilight.

 

“Visited who?” said Anon.

 

“You know who I mean, Nightmare Moon,” said Twilight.

 

“I did,” said Anon

 

Twilight had a fit. “Why do you keep doing this? I told you what she did, and I told you she was dangerous!”

 

“Because I want to help her,” said Anon.

 

"You can’t help her, she’s just a bad egg. Didn't you listen when I told you about what happened to Celestia, or what happened 1000 years ago? Or are you just going to take her word over mine,” said Twilight.

 

“I told you I don’t want to be involved in your fight with her. I wasn’t there 5 years ago, and I wasn’t there a thousand years ago. I’ll judge things for myself, here and now,” said Anon.

 

“She’s a rabid animal, you should have seen that by now,” said Twilight.

 

Twilight reached out with magic and forced open Anon’s shirt, revealing his bandages. She quickly peeled one off to spy a prominent purple hoof mark shaped bruise before Anon could stop her.

 

“She did that to you, didn’t she? Now do you see what I’ve been trying to tell you?” said Twilight.

 

Anon cursed under his breath as he covered himself up. Someone must have gossiped to Twilight while he was working. Not like it was difficult to notice, there was a bruise right on his cheek.

 

“Don’t you know it’s rude to rip a man's clothes off?” deflected Anon.

 

“Tell me what happened,” snapped Twilight.

 

“ It was an accident,” excused Anon.

 

“That’s bullshit and you know it. She’s unstable,” said Twilight.

 

Anon had to look away. Twilight was right; this was the first time he had seen Nightmare Moon hallucinate, but it wasn’t the first time he saw her being unstable. He had risked his life last night, just for the end result of possibly having nil effect on Nightmare Moon’s state. She had not even thanked him or apologized. He felt his bruises and lack of sleep weigh on him at that moment. He wondered at what point would his attention and care yield results?

 

Twilight saw the inner conflict on Anon’s face. She moved closer and spoke in a calm tone. “Anon, I’m just worried about you. Can you please, just tell me why? Why put up with any of this?”

 

Anon was tired, and Twilight was indefatigable. “I’ve seen her, Twilight. She’s been hurt and needs help. I know I can’t do much but there’s nobody else even trying and it feels like this is something that needs to be done, it’s important, significant. You haven’t seen her the ways I have, there’s a world to her that you don’t know about, separate from all this revenge and hate and everything. She’s playful, and fun loving. Fiercely protective, cultured.”

 

Twilight reared up and gently placed her forelegs on Anon’s shoulders. “I understand wanting to help another pony, but you deserve better. You deserve somepony who actually cares about you, who would never hurt you. Somepony who can actually appreciate your care and kindness. Somepony you can have a life with, instead of constantly skulking around in secret or scared that the next thing you say will set her off,” said Twilight.

 

Anon squared his eyes with Twilights. “You mean somepony like you?”

 

Twilight’s face hardened, and she focused on Anon, looking him deep in his eyes. “Yes, somepony like me.”

 

Twilight released Anon and stepped back. Anon didn’t know what to say, it wasn’t so much the thought of being released from hardship that enticed him. It was the idea that he wouldn’t be totally ineffective at helping his partner. A flapping of wings alerted them to an interloper. Moments later, a grey pegasus, Derpy, came into view.

 

“Hey Anon, I got a package for you. Super urgent delivery!” said Derpy.

 

Derpy quickly handed Anon a crisp package, perfectly plain except for the faint scent of lavender perfume and a fine black ribbon humbly tied around it. After the delivery, Derpy quickly left, oblivious to the serious conversation she had interrupted. Anon held the package tenderly and inspected it. He recognized the sender’s name and address as the pseudonym that Nightmare Moon established to better hide their correspondences.

 

Twilight read the emotions on Anon’s face. “It’s from *her*, isn’t it?”

 

“I think you should go,” said Anon.

 

Twilight stood her ground. Anon looked at Twilight for a moment before stowing the package away, as if Twilight would try to steal it. Anon could tolerate some amount of prying, because he knew Twilight was a friend, she had helped him greatly in the past, but he had to set limits.

 

“I’m not going to tell you everything about us,” said Anon with an edge to his voice.

 

Twilight held up her hooves in defeat, but she was clearly unhappy. “Alright, alright. Just consider what I said.”

 

Twilight left without another word and Anon finally entered his home. He closed the blinds, then quickly cut open the package. The first thing he found was a letter. It was nonsense, a fake to hide the real contents by covert methods. He took a revealing solution, hidden in a perfume spritzer, and gently misted it over the letter. Soon the false message disappeared, and the true one replaced it. Anon looked over the letter, drinking in the fine penmanship.

 

Dearest Moonshine,

 

I am sorry, prithee believe me, there is nothing that I wish for more than to take back what I hast done.

Even now tis to my eternal shame to beest so void of reason and sanity as to strike at those who art my most dear and hold nothing but fine intentions for me.

I hadst intended to keep this insanity from thee, to protect thee.

I hadst taken measures in timing and feeling as to keep thee safe from this but failed.

In delirium, I brushed thee off like an offensive insect, but thou persevered.

Tis may not have seemed like it at the time, but thee helped me indelibly.

From a maelstrom of madness to a foggy malaise; from shuddering horror to needling fear.

A difference of severity.

I hadst wanted to thank thee, embrace thee, for everything thou hadst done for me, but thee hadst already gone, and the night's duties were demanding attention.

Accept this ointment and enchanted bandages, as the smallest token of my appreciation, so that I may go some length to atone for my transgressions.

Thou art my lighthouse in the dark, my northern star, my sea of tranquility, my little treasure, my illicit secret, my indulgent treat, my midnight moonshine.

 

Always yours,

Nightmare Moon

 

Anon pulled out a small bottle and bandages from the box. The bandages were cool to the touch, just as the letter had promised. He smiled; to effect such change in Nighty, and make her care to this degree, felt like a victory. He wanted to be her anchor, to keep her down on earth where she belonged, instead of alone on the moon. Anon gently placed the letter with the others he saved from his beloved, Nightmare Moon.

 

END