Dark Grass

 

"There ye are, ya ol' coot! The usual?"

 

Tranquil let out a breath he hadn't even been aware he was holding, and grunted: "the usual," as he made his way past the empty tables to his customary spot near the taps.

 

Pretty much the moment his forelegs were on the counter, a glass of amber liquid slid to a halt right next to his hoof. Heather really was exceptionally skilled in all the little bartending tricks. He'd never known the mare to spill even a drop of the precious, life-saving drink.

 

"I'd say ye look like Tartarus, but I reckon ye do so e'ry night," she chided with a tiny, wry grin to take out some of the sting.

 

Tranquil scrunched up his muzzle to show his teeth, which was the closest he could get to an actual smile after a shift like the one he'd just had. "You're no highlands flower yourself, Swipe," he retorted.

 

While the mare chuckled to herself, Tranquil hooked the glass in a fetlock and expertly tossed it back. It was a practiced gesture and he didn't even need his magic. The whiskey hardly touched his tongue, which was just as well. He needed it for its effect, not its taste.

 

"Another," he grunted as he slammed the empty glass down on the bar.

 

True to her bartending talent, Heather was already pouring. She sent it sliding over to him, and asked: "Tough day?"

 

"Aren't they all?"

 

She gave a little snort as she went back to cleaning the polished wood with a wet rag. "Some days ye start with cider. Feels like sometimes ye smile more, too, ye ken?"

 

"True."

 

"Lay it on me," Heather offered, in a somewhat gentler tone of voice. She made sure to focus an ear firmly on Tranquil Thoughts, reminding him yet again that her tough mare act was *mostly* a facade, and they were really friends underneath.

 

"Can't give you any of the details. Doctor-patient confidentiality, you know?" he began, wishing it weren't so. Maybe if he could talk with somepony about what he'd seen, he wouldn't have to resort to strong liquor.

 

"Aye."

 

"Got one of them university professors. A big shot. Name of Silent Spell."

 

There was an extended pause, until Heather shifted closer and laid a hoof on Tranquil's foreleg. "If'n yer waitin' for me to recognize the name, it's nae gonna happen, lad."

 

"Right. Well, he's the professor of archaeology. Came back a few weeks ago from some expedition. Saw some weird crap...."

 

Tranquil Thoughts fell silent as he tried to make sense of it all again. Darkness, and tunnels, and ruin. There was the occasional neat pile of white bones among the few images he'd gleaned from the Professor's memory, but what really stood out was the bleak, oppressive weight of a mountain over their heads.

 

"Heather, why do they always go to some foul, horrible place and get themselves messed up? It's me who has to pick up the pieces."

 

"Aye, and 'tis a good deed yer doin', lad."

 

Tranquil Thoughts opened his mouth to tell her about some of the stuff he'd seen in the Professors mind, but then shook his head and clamped his muzzle shut. It wouldn't do either of them any favors, and he hadn't been joking when he'd mentioned confidentiality. Tartarus, it was probably already over the line to have told her the name at all, but right at the moment Tranquil couldn't give two bucks.

 

It was all thanks to his talent. He'd always been a very calm and sensitive pony, even while others his age were galloping around and shouting at the top of their lungs. He'd often wished he could make them a little quieter, so it wasn't a huge surprise when his cutie mark showed up and he realized he could do exactly that.

 

These days, his talent was used medicinally. A mental trick of his horn could calm down even the worst of their panic attacks. Something about that little spell he'd come up with took the edge off fear, anxiety, stress, and even pure outright insanity. Most of them went still and quiet, and were able - sometimes for the first time after whatever had happened to them - to hold a normal conversation. Others became catatonic, but that was still better than screaming and struggling. They always snapped out of it after some hours, much more relaxed than when they went in. A rare few simply fell asleep, but when they woke up, they were refreshed, chipper, and very biddable.

 

It made the shrink's job much easier. The only downside was that he could sometimes see a little of what they saw when they closed their eyes. A bit of magical backlash, particularly with other unicorns.

 

Heather Swipe had seen that her most recent patron had gotten himself lost in his own thoughts, but she was an expert and knew exactly what to do. She topped up his glass and quietly moved away. Later, perhaps, Tranquil might need a pony to listen, and she would be there, too.

 

Tending a bar went much further than simply pouring drinks, after all. In a way, both she and Tranquil were exceptionally good at their jobs.

 

 

Water dripped freely from Tranquil Thoughts' coat by the time he made it home. It had started to rain while he was drinking, and his magic wasn't up to the task of shielding him from the downpour, not after how much he'd had. Unfortunately, that also meant he had to fumble with his mouth and hooves to fit the key into the lock.

 

It was taking some time, and Tranquil grumbled to himself as he tried and missed his mark for the fourth time. He stopped, leaned his head to one side, and the metal key tingled on the floor as it fell from his lips.

 

"Son of a-" he swore and just pushed the door handle.

 

It opened smoothly. It wasn't locked, of course. In his drunken state he'd forgotten. With a sigh, he clumsily kicked the key inside, but decided not to pick it up with his mouth from the dirty floor. It'd still be there in the morning.

 

The apartment was dark and quiet, but that was to be expected at this late hour. "Must've gone to bed," he muttered to himself. It was a relief Summer Petals wasn't waiting to give him a piece of her mind.

 

Still, the stallion took care to place his hooves gently, as much as his inebriation allowed, and made his way to the bathroom. He pulled the nearest towel from the rack and draped it around his withers. Maybe it was his, or maybe it wasn't, he couldn't be bothered with the detail right now. They had fresh towels somewhere, anyway, and it'd be easier to find them in the morning.

 

Drying off was a lengthy, awkward affair, with Tranquil having to twist his body this way and that so he could reach every part of himself with his hooves. At one point, he'd tried to hold the towel in his magic, but his horn just spluttered sadly and the room began to spin alarmingly, so he gave that up. No magic until he'd slept the booze off.

 

It took some minutes, but eventually he was reasonably dry, so Tranquil Thoughts headed to bed. He didn't turn on any of the lights, and made his way mainly through memory and feel. Soon he was crawling under the blankets to lie next to a quiet lump that was Summer, his loving wife. He leaned in to give her cheek a kiss, and ran his hoof down her side by way of greeting, but even if she was awake, she didn't respond. Tranquil, leaning on one elbow, watched how her side rose and fell in slow, steady rhythm of her breathing.

 

He should have been home sooner. No doubt Summer had missed him. Now that her smell had entered his nostrils, and his hoof felt just how soft and silky her coat was, he began to miss her, too. He went back for another, more insistent kiss. He lifted himself higher over her, trying to find her mouth in the dark.

 

She pushed him back with a soft groan. "Not now," she said in a whisper. "I'm tired."

 

Tranquil slumped back at her weary tone, but he kept one hoof pressed against her back. "I'm sorry I'm late, honey. I love you."

 

There was no reply, and when he looked, Summer hadn't moved. She'd probably gone right back to sleep.

 

A part of him worried about the fact that she'd stopped nagging him about his drinking and the late hours he came home, but it was also a relief. All her yelling had achieved was to cause more fights and grief between the two.

 

His job was an incredibly stressful one, and Summer Petals just had to understand that. So he went to get a drink sometimes! He needed it to take the edge off, otherwise he'd probably go as insane as some of his patients. Perhaps she was starting to finally get it.

 

Tranquil turned to his wife and draped his foreleg around her. He shuffled a little closer, so he could put his nose in her mane. She still used that floral shampoo he liked.

 

She shrugged his hoof off and scooched away from him. "It's too hot, Tranquil!" she chided, her voice still slurred and faint with sleep.

 

He didn't think so, but then again he'd just come in from the rain, and his coat was still slightly damp. Summer was probably right, and they'd be uncomfortable once he warmed up a little. With a sigh, he turned away and closed his eyes. Exhaustion and drink did their work and he was out in less than a minute.

 

 

Tranquil woke up later than usual, to an empty bed and a quiet apartment. Summer had already gone to her job, he knew. Thursday was one of his days off, so she had kindly not woken him up. It was just as well, he thought with a small groan. Less time he would have to endure the hangover.

 

There was a faint, lingering smell of oatmeal in the air, but the unicorn wasn't sure he would be able to eat anything just then. He wasn't about to throw up, but the queasy feeling in his stomach precluded any chance of a meal.

 

He rolled out of the bed and headed to their tiny kitchen. There were some dishes in the sink, but other than the aroma, no food, which was just as well. Some years ago, he remembered, Summer Petals would have left him a little something, or at least a note, but she didn't bother lately.

 

For the time being, all he could manage was a glass of water, so he poured it and took it to the balcony. Even this simple bit of magic was uncomfortably difficult, but Tranquil Thoughts was no stranger to being hungover, so he persevered through it. His head and belly would soon feel better, he knew. The fresh air would also help.

 

The apartment looked over the Canterlot Plaza, barely a stone's throw from the palace gates. The place was small and expensive, but the location was prestigious. Tranquil sipped his water as he watched the vendors set up their stalls, and the well-to-do ponies going to the Castle. No one looked up at the highrise.

 

At least he didn't have to go to work today. It meant more time trying to answer the burning question he'd been struggling with. He was getting close, he just knew it. The excitement of maybe having an answer, soon, helped with his hangover, and Tranquil tossed back his water in newfound hurry.

 

He walked to the bedroom and rummaged in his bedside table for a notebook and a pen, both of which he took to the kitchen table. He leafed through until he found the page, and re-read his notes from the last time.

 

'Grass again. Dark. Night time?'

'Summer - feels like. Crickets? Thumping noise. Party?'

'Woods beyond grass.'

 

He thought it all over as he stared, unseeing, through the window at the rectangle of blue sky. It was just so hard to hold on to the memories! He'd asked Summer to help with his research, but she didn't want anything to do with the spell. The few times she'd tried it, after much pleading, she'd said it made her feel weird and frightened. She hadn't understood about the dark grass, so Tranquil was certain she didn't see the same things as him.

 

Maybe one of his friends at the pub would be willing? It was important scientific research! Tranquil knew he was on to something profound, he just needed a bit more information to understand what. Once he had a better idea of what he was dealing with, he would take it to his boss, Dr. Pillgood, and ask for a grant.

 

For now, there was nothing to it. Tranquil closed his eyes and summoned up his special little spell. It had taken some effort to turn it around so it would work on himself, and he wasn't completely certain it produced the same effect, which was part of the reason why he needed a volunteer for the research.

 

The magic flowed into his mind like cool, refreshing water. It soothed away the last of his hangover, and relaxed all his muscles until he began to slide down the uncomfortable chair. Tranquil Thoughts was barely aware that he'd lain his head on the table.

 

It was hard to keep the spell active, when the very nature of the magic tried to make him let go. His thoughts became fragmented and flitted from one random topic to the next, almost like when he was falling asleep. That was the other part of the reason he needed somepony else.

 

His eyes were closed, but it wasn't completely black. He thought he saw shapes. A field of green grass, barely visible in the darkness. It felt as if he was floating above it.

 

Something about the scene made him think of seaside, made him remember the time when he was little and his family had vacationed somewhere on the Baltimare coast. It was warm, and dry, and he got to stay up much later than he was allowed at home. There were crickets in the night, and city lights, and a murmur of traffic and conversation all around their caravan. He even remembered the smell of salt.

 

Except there hadn't been a forest. His mind's eye pulled up, just a little, and his vantage point began to move. The dark grass slid smoothly under him, as if he were flying. A glimpse ahead made him think of trees, those ones with white trunks, even though it was hard to discern without any light. He felt, more than saw, that their trunks were indeed white. Birch, he thought, or something like it.

 

The forest slid closer and closer, but was still tantalizingly out of reach. There was something important on the other side, but so far he'd never even made it to the tree line. One day, perhaps, he would pass it, and get to see the wonderful, and frightening, and beautiful thing beyond.

 

He jerked awake and opened his eyes. The magic had stopped, and he'd fallen asleep without meaning to. Tranquil looked at the light streaming in through the window, and relaxed. He hadn't slept for long. There was still plenty of time.

 

These images, and the feelings they evoked, only came to the surface as his mind quietened, and it only happened while he was under the effect of his spell. If only he had someone else who could cast it, so he didn't have to maintain it himself. A spell which silenced and calmed a mind was hard to maintain in that same mind.

 

He straightened up and picked up the pen. He left some space in the notebook so he could fill in the date later, and wrote:

 

'Birch trees beyond the grass.'

'Seaside when I was young? Feels like summer and night on the shore.'

 

If only he could retain enough faculty to keep the magic going. Tranquil Thoughts stared at the sky through the window, then added another line:

 

'Would lucid dreaming help?'

 

He'd heard stories about unicorns who could do magic in their sleep, but only if they knew they were dreaming. Someone had once told him it was possible to learn lucid dreaming.

 

It was worth a shot!

 

Full of newfound energy, Tranquil Thoughts stood up and closed his notebook. He left it on the table and trotted happily to the entrance. He remembered to slip on a small bag on his back, and picked up his key, which was hanging on a hook by the door. Summer had probably found it on the floor and put it there.

 

The Library would probably have a book on lucid dreaming. It'd take some practice, but it might help him maintain the spell while he was under.

 

Tranquil even began to hum a little to himself as he locked the door behind himself and headed for the elevator.

 

 

Heaving a sigh of relief, Tranquil Thoughts shook the rain from his coat as he rummaged in his saddlebag for the key. He didn't remember any scheduled downpour for the afternoon, but that didn't mean much. He rarely paid attention to the newspaper. The important thing was that the books were dry, thanks to the waterproof faux-leather bag.

 

He opened the door, gave his hooves a perfunctory wipe on the doormat, and reached for the switch in the entrance hallway before he realized that the light was already on. He shrugged to himself, figuring that Summer was home early. He poked his head around the doorway to see her at the table, wearing one of her fancier dresses. His eyebrows rose at the unusual sight.

 

"What's- uh, what's all this?" he asked. "Are we expecting company?"

 

The mare gave him a flat-eared glare and her muzzle scrunched up in distaste. "There you are!" she exclaimed. "You forgot, didn't you?!"

 

Her gaze and her tone made Tranquil take an involuntary step back, and he let the bag with his books slip to the floor before he entered the kitchen. Summer rolled her eyes when she saw the rest of him.

 

"You got wet, and we don't have time for a shower! Gah!" she let her head fall into her folded forelegs on the table.

 

"Honey, what's wrong? Why are you dressed up?"

 

"You did forget," Summer Petals said in a defeated tone. She didn't look up, but she gestured with a hoof. "Go dry yourself and brush your coat at least. We have to be in the restaurant in twenty minutes."

 

A faint memory stirred and Tranquil felt his heart sink. "Anniversary, damn it! Honey..."

 

"Just go!"

 

He scurried into the bathroom to do the best he could with his coat, all the while mentally berating himself. How could he forgotten?! That was the reason they had planned it on his day off in the first place! Summer Petals could have told him-

 

Tranquil stopped that chain of thought. When could she have told him? He'd come in late last night, and she'd already been asleep. This morning, he had been sleeping off his hangover, and even if she'd woken him up and told him, he probably wouldn't remember.

 

He peered into the mirror and frowned at his own reflection. He was a bad husband, there was no other word for it. His drinking and his stupid obsession with the images he saw in his mind under the influence of his calming spell were costing him his marriage! His gaze flicked guiltily at the saddle bag and the books inside, still in the hallway. He had to stop. It had gone too far already.

 

The questions occupied his mind nearly every waking minute, except when he was working, or when he was drunk. It was time to find a better, healthier way of dealing with the stress of what he saw at his job. Maybe he could even ask Dr. Pillgood for a referral to a good psychiatrist. There was no shame in admitting he needed help.

 

Tranquil Thoughts returned the coat brush to the shelf and quickly grabbed his toothbrush instead. There wasn't much time, but he could make the evening a little more pleasant for Summer Petals. She'd already put up with too much as it were. He'd have to get her a nice bouquet of flowers on his way from work the next day.

 

It wasn't yet too late to salvage his life.

 

Then again...

 

His eyes strayed to the bag again and the toothbrush slowed to a stop as he considered. He *had* brought the books home, after all. It wouldn't hurt to at least skim them and see if there was anything to that lucid dreaming idea. He didn't have to completely abandon his work, just lessen its influence on his life. He would quit drinking, pay more attention to his wife, and continue working on his spell, but without letting it consume everything.

 

He was a smart stallion, surely he could budget his time appropriately?

 

 

Dinner was some tasteless, high-class slop, and for the life of him, Tranquil Thoughts could not understand why Summer Petals liked that kind of food. He pretended to enjoy it out of politeness, but it was a good thing the portions were so small. If it were up to him, they would simply have picked something from a fast food stall in one of the main streets, or perhaps gone for a pizza or a few donuts.

 

Still, a night out in a fancy restaurant made Summer happy, so Tranquil took it with as good a grace as he could. He'd even tried for some polite, meaningless conversation, but his wife seemed preoccupied and distant throughout the evening.

 

Eventually it was over and they could get out of the stuffy room with all those disapproving looks and quiet, classical music. As soon as they were back on the street Tranquil loosened his tie with a heartfelt sigh.

 

"Well, where to, now?" he asked.

 

Summer stared at him for a moment, then said curtly: "Home."

 

It sounded ominous and Tranquil's ears fell in sudden worry. He produced his best smile and extended a foreleg toward the Palace in invitation. "Why don't we take a detour through the gardens? It's nice and warm out."

 

The afternoon's rain was long over, and the pegasi had cleared the skies so the Canterlot ponies could see the magnificent star scape which was only really visible from their city. There was still a bit of damp in the air, and the breeze blowing from the top of the mountain was cool, but the winter hadn't yet put its bite in. If memory served correctly, they could see some of the late blooming flowers in the Royal Gardens and perhaps the sight and smell would remind Summer of her favourite season. Maybe it would even take her mind off their recent problems.

 

She looked in that direction and her face softened for a few moments, but then she turned her eyes back on Tranquil and the scrunch returned to her muzzle. "Home," she repeated firmly.

 

"Do you at least want to pick up a nice bottle of champagne? It *is* our anniversary!"

 

The moment the words were out of his mouth, Tranquil wished he could take them back, or at least change their tone. Summer rounded up on him and he couldn't help but cringe under her hard stare. "Yeah, and you wouldn't even know it if I hadn't told you!" she hissed, trying for a whisper and failing.

 

"Every day this week you've been drinking after work, and the one day we have plans you vanish and come back barely in time to get ready!"

 

"Honey, my work."

 

"My work! My work!" she whined in a mockery of his voice. "I get it, your work is hard, but that's no excuse to get drunk every single night!"

 

Tranquil's blood began to boil at the tirade and his own ears folded back too. "It's not every night! It's a tough job and not many ponies can do it! I'm helping ponies!"

 

"What about me?" she demanded. "While you're out 'helping ponies', I sit alone at home and wonder when you'll be back, and whether you'll throw up in the bed!"

 

"Come on, that was one time-"

 

"And what is all that 'helping ponies' getting you? Nightmares and that- that *obsession* of yours with the sleep spell!"

 

"Summer, please," Tranquil began, but the mare pushed her nose against his so hard he had to take a step back.

 

"The one night we had plans and I wasn't even sure if you'll make it home! Your bar friends see more of you than I do!"

 

He pushed back in an effort to regain a bit of balance, and this time Summer took a step back. Her first since she'd started talking. "For your information, Summer, I *wasn't* in the bar tonight! I was in the library!"

 

"Well, how was I supposed to know? You still stink of booze. Our whole apartment stinks of booze!"

 

They glared at one another, and then Summer closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I worry for you, Tranquil. What if something happens to you when you're stumbling home, drunk, one night?"

 

"Nothing's going to happen!" he said, and remembered his decision from earlier. "Besides, I'm not going to drink anymore."

 

She snorted in derision at that. "I wish I could believe it! You've said that before! You say you're not going to drink, then the next day you come in late, stinking of booze, and wanting to buck!"

 

"Well, maybe if we did more often I wouldn't need to drink for stress relief! At least Heather Swipe listens to me!"

 

Once again Tranquil wished he could bite it back, but it was too late. Summer flinched, as if he'd struck her, and her eyes went big and round. They glistened with unshed tears in the moonlight.

 

"Honey, I'm sorry," he said quickly, trying to smooth it over. "I didn't mean it that way."

 

When she spoke next, Summer's voice was calm and measured. "I think I want some time alone, Tranquil."

 

"What?! No, Summer. No. Come on, we can work this out! I'm sorry!"

 

She didn't seem to be listening anymore, and simply turned and began walking back to their apartment. Tranquil hurried to keep step with her, but she paid him no mind. Tranquil racked his brain for something to say, or do, to make it better, but nothing came up. In an act of desperation, he ran in front of her and stood in her way.

 

"I need some time alone," she repeated.

 

"Okay," he told her, trying to look her in the eyes so she would see he meant it. "I understand. Just-" his voice broke, but Tranquil cleared his throat and went on: "Just promise you'll come back and we'll talk, okay? We can fix this, Summer. I love you!"

 

She gave him a faint nod, but didn't otherwise reply. She didn't even look as Tranquil let his head fall and stepped out of the way. He followed closely behind, but didn't try talking anymore. Talking was what got him in this mess. What they both needed was some time to cool off, and then a heart-to-heart conversation.

 

Summer had to believe him! She had to!

 

He'd promised himself he wouldn't drink anymore, and he'd decided to lay off his special project a little. It was exactly what she wanted, all he had to do was prove it to her.

 

They reached their apartment in silence, and he went to sit at the kitchen table while Summer Petals packed a few bags in the bedroom. Once she was done she stood in the doorway and watched him.

 

"I saw the books in the bags. You were really at the library?" she asked in a quavering voice.

 

"Yes."

 

"You weren't out drinking?"

 

"No," Tranquil said, then his ears splayed and he lowered his gaze. "Not today."

 

She was silent for a while, until he looked at her again, then Summer said: "I'm still going."

 

"Where?"

 

"I'll go and stay with Mom for a while."

 

"Will you be back?"

 

Summer looked down and rubbed a hoof against her foreleg. "I don't know."

 

"Please, honey. I didn't mean it that way, you have to believe me! I'm not going to drink anymore. What if-" he swallowed, but forced himself to continue: "What if we go to couples' counselling?"

 

"Okay, I'll come back and we'll talk."

 

"When?"

 

Summer shook her head irritably. "I don't know. In a while. If you can really stay off drink, then maybe."

 

"I promise!"

 

All she did was nod, but it was an encouraging sign. She hadn't dismissed his promise out of hoof! Tranquil even managed a small smile. "It's just- my job, Summer. You know what I do, what kinds of things I see! Sometimes... it's too much."

 

"Maybe," she agreed, albeit reluctantly, "but booze isn't going to make it better."

 

"I know!"

 

"Bye, Tranquil," she said and ducked out of the kitchen.

 

He very nearly got to his hooves and ran after her, and clasped his hooves around her, and held her until she decided not to go, but instead Tranquil made sure his steps were slow as he followed his wife to the apartment's door. She stepped out and looked back at him. "If you really mean it-" she began.

 

"I do!" he blurted out.

 

"If you mean it about drinking and counselling, I'll be back. I'm- I'm sorry, Tranquil. I just can't go on like this anymore."

 

He hardly even noticed tears streaming down his face as he gave a nod. "I know. I'm sorry. I'll change, I promise!"

 

Summer gripped the knob with her magic and pulled the door closed after her. It had the sound of finality.

 

He waited, barely daring to breathe, wishing she would change her mind and come back. There was silence for a long time, and then he heard Summer Petals exhale, followed by the clopping of her hooves as she walked away. He kept looking at the closed door for a few more minutes, until he finally turned around and headed back into the kitchen.

 

His gaze fell on the saddlebag he'd tossed down that afternoon. He hadn't gone to drink today, at least. Maybe that was a good first step?

 

 

"Through here. Come in," Tranquil Thoughts invited. He walked several steps into the apartment before he realized that it was quite dark, and his guest couldn't see. It was all very well for him, being familiar with the place, but Cloud Twister had never been inside. It was the work of a moment to flick the light switch, even if it made both stallions blink in the sudden, harsh light.

 

He recovered quickly and shrugged out of his saddlebag even as he closed the front door with a well-practiced kick of his hind hoof. "In there," he said, jerking his head toward the small kitchen.

 

Cloud Twister gave a slightly uncertain nod, and walked in ahead of Tranquil.

 

"Sit. Want some coffee or something?"

 

His guest gave this some thought, then shook his head. "I'm fine."

 

"Wine? Something else?"

 

"Thanks, but I think I've had enough. A glass of water, maybe?"

 

Tranquil Thoughts used his magic to pull open a cabinet above the sink and floated out a clean glass. His magic worked perfectly this time because he wasn't drunk. Yes, he'd had one beer, but that was just manners. It would have been rude not to drink a single thing while he discussed his research project with an interested subject. He hadn't felt even the slightest desire once Cloud Twister had said he'd be interested in participating.

 

The glass went on the table in front of the pegasus, who was looking around the apartment curiously. At the slight click he looked at his host and his ears splayed. "So, what do you want me to do?" he said with a nervous tremor to his voice which made Tranquil lean his head to one side in curiosity.

 

Surely the other stallion wasn't expecting-

 

"Oh! No, nothing like that! I wasn't lying, it's a magical spell I'm researching."

 

If anything, this reassurance made his guest stiffen and his eyes narrowed. "What *kind* of a spell did you say it was again?"

 

"It's something I use to help ponies relax, nothing more. Don't worry, I'm a doctor," Tranquil reassured him and pointed a foreleg at one of the framed documents on the wall behind Cloud Twister. It was his diploma from Canterlot Medical.

 

"Oh," Cloud said and his shoulders lowered. "That's good. So, um, what do you want me to do?"

 

"You don't have to do anything. Just make yourself comfortable, I'll use the spell on you, and you tell me what you see and feel. It's nothing bad, I promise."

 

He still looked uncertain, so Tranquil added in as reassuring a tone as he could manage: "I used the spell on myself plenty of times. It's just- it relaxes you so much I can't keep concentrating to keep it up. You see my problem?"

 

"What else does it do?"

 

"Nothing else."

 

"So, why do you want to test it on me?"

 

Tranquil was getting a little exasperated with all the questions, but he kept the smile firmly on his muzzle and came to sit opposite Cloud Twister. He reached out with his magic and brought his notebook and a pen from a nearby drawer.

 

"It's not so much the effects of the spell. I want to know what kinds of images and feelings the mind conjures up when it gets that relaxed. Look- I'll level with you. This isn't just your regular relaxation or sleep spell."

 

"I figured as much, yes. What is it, then?"

 

It wasn't likely that a pegasus would understand the intricate details of mind magic, but it would cost nothing except a bit of time to explain, and the two had the whole night. Cloud Twister was out of town, so Tranquil had kindly offered his couch for the night.

 

"Well, I use it when we get particularly bad cases of psychosis, or trauma at the ward at the hospital. Cases where somepony has seen or suffered something so bad it gives them nightmares, sometimes even while they're awake. It, kind of, clears the mind and drives the bad thoughts away. It allows patients to forget what they've seen for a while, so the therapist can talk them through it."

 

"Uh huh."

 

"Yeah. At worst, it puts ponies into dreamless sleep, and if that happens, I promise I'll tuck you in on the couch and you'll wake up safe and sound in the morning."

 

Cloud looked at the exit, then transferred his gaze to Tranquil Thoughts. "What if I say no?"

 

The unicorn sighed and lowered his gaze. "You can leave anytime you want."

 

"So you won't let me sleep here? I have to get a hotel?"

 

The plaintive edge to his voice almost made Tranquil chuckle dryly. "No, I promised a couch and I won't go back on my word. It's just- it's important research. In my day job, I don't usually deal with completely healthy ponies."

 

There was silence for long seconds as Cloud Twister glanced at the window, then his hooves around the glass on the table. He appeared to notice the water for the first time and took a quick sip, if only to buy a little more time. In the end, his ears straightened up and he gave his host a tentative smile. "Okay, I'll do it."

 

"Great! Wanna get started?"

 

"Might as well," Cloud said with a shrug. He raised the glass and drank most of the water, then pushed it away from himself. "So, what now?"

 

"Relax, make yourself comfortable, and- actually, wanna go to the couch? If you fall asleep, I won't have to carry you."

 

"Sure."

 

They relocated to the living room, where Cloud Twister settled on the sofa and Tranquil Thoughts dragged a recliner closer with his magic. His notebook floated in his magical grip in front of him, pen poised to take notes.

 

"Okay, comfy?"

 

Cloud Twister gave this a moment's thought, then nodded.

 

"Good. I'll begin. I need you to keep talking as long as you can and describe what you see and feel."

 

Without waiting for confirmation, he concentrated on his special spell and directed the magic to settle on his guest's head. The magic formed thin strands of light in the air, reminiscent of a lace pattern as it formed intricate loops, swirls, and knots through Cloud Twister's mane. His eyes grew unfocused and after a while his mouth quirked up in a gentle smile.

 

"Hey, diss not so bad," he mumbled. "Mmm, is nice."

 

"Good, good," Tranquil praised as he slightly reduced the intensity. Maintaining the weave was a very involved and active process, part of the reason he couldn't quite keep it up on himself. As the magic began to twine into Cloud's mind, he saw some of the surface memories.

 

There was a slight sense of disappointment, tinged with lust, and Tranquil jerked his head away in surprise. He had been right in his guess! Cloud had followed him home with a thought that they might buck! His cheeks colored, mostly with embarrassment, but also a little with guilty pleasure at having had that effect, even if he wasn't into stallions.

 

He focused back on his guest and allowed a bit more magic to flow through his horn. Images flashed in his mind, of a train compartment and a conference hall full of colorful flowers, and meeting countless other ponies. It seemed Cloud Twister had had quite a busy day.

 

"Some kind of event in Canterlot today?"

 

"Yesh," Cloud slurred, "garden expo. I grow tulips... trading seeds."

 

"Interesting. What do you see?"

 

"See nothing. My eyes are closed," came the muttered reply. It was true, the stallion had leaned back on the cushion and allowed his eyelids to slide shut. His wings were coming unfurled and his head was drooping. Any moment he would quietly fold up. It was a sign for Tranquil to tweak the spell a little. He wanted Cloud calm, but not comatose.

 

There was no visible change in the other stallion, but his voice had a bit more strength behind it. "Hmm, it's my shop. Vanhoover suburbs. Nice neighborhood, and we get plenty of sun."

 

"That's lovely. Do you see a field of grass? Is it night?"

 

Cloud Twister furrowed his brow at the words and shook his head. "Nuh. Mid-morning. It's summer. I'm in the back of my shop. New bulbs came in, so I planted them. Good, dark soil."

 

"Hmm, I'll take you a bit deeper. Please try and stay with me. Concentrate on my voice," Tranquil said and pushed a little harder.

 

The stallion's head sagged a little more and his next breath came in a half-snore, half-sigh. "M'kay..." he trailed off.

 

"What do you see now? Is there a forest? Seaside? Is it night?"

 

An ear flicked his way and it was a struggle for Cloud Twister to talk. "Nuh- my mom..."

 

The torrent of images from his mind had slowed, but it still had the most vivid recent memory. As best he could tell, the young pegasus was sitting on some kind of a park bench, and it was the middle of summer. It was extremely hot, but there were sprinklers for the well-manicured lawn and the gentle spray floated and settled on his outstretched wings and his belly, pleasantly cooling him. Even in the memory Cloud Twister had his eyes closed, but he saw the red glow of the sun on his eyelids. There didn't seem to be anypony else present.

 

The fact he was talking about his mother proved that what *he* saw, and what Tranquil got from his mind, were two entirely different things. He'd figured as much, especially when he saw the horrible, scary things from some of his patients memories, while they themselves fell into blissful relaxation.

 

"We'll try a bit further. If you can hear me, tell me what you see," he warned.

 

Another slight touch of the magic, during which he watched Cloud's face in minute detail. His expression softened, and even the tiny smile was washed away as all his muscles slackened. "Mmmm," he managed, then slowly slid to his side. He was firmly asleep even before his head hit the pillow.

 

"Hmm," Tranquil murmured to himself as he scribbled in the notes. The experiment hadn't told him anything really new, although it might have confirmed one hypothesis. He finished writing, then got to his hooves. Before he left, he lifted a blanket from one of the closets in the bedroom and floated it gently over the sleeping pegasus.

 

He decided they'd try it again the next morning, so he could compare the two instances. It might reveal some kind of a pattern. Hopefully, Cloud Twister wouldn't leave Canterlot just yet, so he could try it a few more times. Perhaps with a bit of practice and exposure to the spell, the pegasus would be able to stay coherent longer.

 

Surely he wouldn't be opposed to a free place to stay while he took in some of the sights of Equestria's grand capital city?

 

In the meantime...

 

Tranquil returned to his bedroom, flicking the lights in the kitchen and the living room off. He left the lamp on his bedside table and brought out the book on lucid dreaming. It would take some practice and some effort to get the hang of it, but since Summer had left he didn't have anything better to do with his evenings.

 

Well, he could go and drink, but he'd promised himself he'd stop. When his wife was ready to come back, she would find a new stallion.

 

Thoughts of her still made him sigh sadly, and his ears lowered, but it only lasted a moment. Summer was right - he had to better himself. Most importantly, he had to complete his little project and get it published somewhere. After that, he would be able to focus on her.

 

It was all going to work out, he was sure of it.

 

 

His magic tore the page from his notebook and crumpled it up even as Tranquil Thoughts let his head fall forward in a mix of frustration and exhaustion. His nose hit the wood rather harder than he'd intended, but at least the momentary pain woke him up a little. The little ball of paper flew against the wall and joined its friends already littering the floor.

 

Tranquil considered tidying up a little, but there really was no point to it. After Cloud Twister, and Ember Glow, and Butter Scotch, and - and more ponies whose names he couldn't even really remember anymore - after all of them had given him nothing of use, Tranquil had stopped having guests. Cleaning was just unnecessary when he had no visitors.

 

His stomach gurgled, and the unicorn absentmindedly scanned the stacks of dirty dishes and empty food wrappers on his counter. There was nothing edible, of course, at least judging by the smell. He let out a groan and struggled to his hooves.

 

Might as well stretch his legs and take some fresh air, even if it was just to the wrap place down the road.

 

He didn't bother to lock the door. There wasn't really anything worth stealing in his place, nor was there anything useful in his notes.

 

Some of the subjects had been more lucid than others. Some had fallen asleep immediately, and others staved off unconsciousness for long hours. Each of them had seen different things, but always memories from their past. Not one had mentioned the grass, or the trees, or a summer night near a sea shore. He was starting to accept that the two spells simply had different results. What he did for himself, he could not do for anypony else, and vice versa.

 

Tranquil navigated the building's staircase without really seeing it, lost in thought. There was only one thing he had left to try. He'd have to use the spell on himself, and somehow stay conscious enough to control it. Lucid dreaming was the key, he was still sure of that. The only problem was that it was taking such a long time to get anywhere with it.

 

He hardly ever slept through the night, having set his alarm to wake him multiple times from midnight to dawn. Each time he jotted down his dream, then concentrated on some vivid memory as he fell asleep. A few times he'd realized he was dreaming, but his sudden excitement woke him up almost immediately.

 

It was getting closer, though, he was sure of it. That half-asleep, half-awake state of mind was becoming like second nature, and perhaps if he tried his spell on himself once more, he would get further.

 

Maybe today? Celestia knew he hadn't made any serious progress in *weeks*. It wasn't as if he really needed to have a lucid dream. That was just a means to an end. What he needed was better control over his own magic as he was drifting off, and who was to say that hadn't yet happened?

 

He'd been too focused on the lucid dreaming part of it!

 

Tranquil came to a halt just outside of his building and nearly hoofed himself in the face. He wasn't thinking straight! Of course he had better control already. He didn't need perfect, he just needed to hold on long enough to see where the images led. There was something important just beyond that dark forest, he knew it!

 

Very nearly he turned and went back inside to try, but his midriff felt as if it were hollow and he decided to at least get a good meal, first. He turned to orient himself, and set off at a brisk pace, hooves clopping on the stone road.

 

It wasn't far, and the pony working the 'Spice Bowl - Hummus and Wraps' was quick with her cooking. It wouldn't take very long to get one of their signature vegetable and fried tofu wraps with a side of rice, and Tranquil would certainly be more comfortable without an empty belly to distract him.

 

For that matter, not much further in the same direction lay Heather Swipe's pub. Perhaps he could go and see her, if only to say hello and tell her he hadn't died yet?

 

Tranquil licked his lips and his steps faltered as he hesitated.

 

Just one beer and five minutes of company wouldn't hurt, he decided. He strolled right past the Spice Bowl and headed for the pub instead. He could pick up his food on the way back.

 

 

Conversation lulled as he walked up to the bar, and even Heather stared in a mixture of concern and surprise. She'd been pushing a rag around on the bar, but her hoof slowed and stopped as she watched the newcomer.

 

"Tartarus, if it ain't ol' Thoughts! So yer not dead, are ye?"

 

"What? Why would you say that?"

 

She spread her forelegs wide and gave him a crooked grin. "We ain't seen ye in weeks, laddie. One of them fellas from the hospital came down here, asking after ye."

 

"Oh?" Tranquil squeaked, his ears suddenly pressing down in fright. He'd completely forgotten! He'd meant to send a letter to tell Dr. Pillgood that he wasn't feeling well, and was taking some time off, but it had completely slipped his mind.

 

He wondered why they hadn't written to him, or come to see if he was even still alive!

 

"I- I've been working on a project. Real important. What did you tell them?"

 

Heather had gone back to wiping down the bar, but she paused briefly to shrug. "Nothin' really. I said I dunno where ye live, and that's the end of it. The fella weren't exactly pleased with that, but I can't tell what I don't know, ye ken?"

 

"Oh. Yeah, that's good. I'll- uh, I'll sort it out. Thanks," he replied, mind already racing ahead. Why hadn't the office sent someone to his home directly? They had his address!

 

Maybe they had, and he simply hadn't heard them knock? He had been sleeping through the day sometimes, and he'd spent more and more time in that strange trance, halfway between asleep and awake.

 

Heather's floated into his consciousness from the bar: "So, it'll be the usual you'll be wanting?"

 

Tranquil didn't really hear her. He was staring off into the distance and his head gave the occasional twitch as he tried to come up with a good excuse for his boss. He didn't want to lose his job, even if it wouldn't be the end of the world. After all, once his research was published, any number of institutions would vie for who would employ him. The discovery would be *that* big, he was certain of it!

 

"Buh, what?" he blurted out when he saw Heather staring at him.

 

"The usual?" she repeated.

 

"Oh. No, thanks. Just a beer, please. I have to go back to my research again. I- uh, just came to tell you I'm fine so you won't worry."

 

This made the bar mare smile and Tranquil couldn't help but grin back at her. "Aw, ain't that mighty sweet of ye!" she cooed to him, then gave him a wink. "Alright, one beer, comin' up!"

 

She poured it expertly and slid it to him across the bar, then she busied herself with stacking the freshly-washed glasses on the counter. "So," she went on conversationally, "what's yer fancy research about?"

 

Tranquil Thoughts considered for a few moments, trying to decide how much to tell. He shrugged to himself and decided that nopony could really steal his discovery. He was the only one who could do his calming spell, after all. A few of his coworkers could come close, but it wasn't exactly the same.

 

"Well, I got this special spell. I use it for the more difficult patients, you see..."

 

 

Summer Petals was wearing a very simple, green silk dress, but it went well with her pale gold coat and purple mane. When Tranquil Thoughts laid eyes on her as he entered the restaurant, his heart gave a loud thump and his throat constricted.

 

She just *had* to come back home!

 

He hurried to the table and slid into the seat opposite, unable to stop staring.

 

"I'm so glad to see you again, honey!"

 

She'd been smiling when he first appeared, but it slipped as she got a good look at him. Her ears lifted up in surprise and she reached out her hoof to lay on top of his. "Tranquil? What happened?" she breathed.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"This," she waved at him. "You look terrible! Your mane- your coat. Are you eating enough?"

 

Suddenly he was self-conscious and his ears went flat. He couldn't meet her gaze and mumbled that he was fine. How could she even tell? He'd showered! He'd scrubbed himself clean! He'd even put on some of her favourite scent, the expensive Prench bottle she'd gotten him for his birthday last year!

 

"Your eyes," she murmured. "Look at me, Tranquil."

 

He couldn't disobey that command and forced his eyes to meet hers. There was concern in her face as she peered at him through narrow, slitted eyelids. "What are you doing? Are you ill? Is that why they called me?"

 

"Who called you?" he demanded, wrenching his hoof away from her grip.

 

"Your work. Tranquil, Dr. Pillgood is worried about you. He says you haven't been in for a month!"

 

That again! Why was that old coot snooping around? First at Heather's bar, now his own wife? Couldn't the quack just come and see him directly?

 

It was only the widening of Summer's eyes which told him that he'd spoken that last out loud. She shook her head, but answered anyway: "They *have* been over, Tranquil. That's why Dr. Pillgood wrote to me! They've come and knocked, but nopony answered. They thought maybe we were both out of Canterlot."

 

Suddenly she began to frown and her hoof jabbed out, accusingly. "You've been at that bar, haven't you? Now that I'm not there, you've just gone completely overboard with your drinking!"

 

"No! No, I haven't!" he hurried to explain. "I haven't even been to a bar in all this time. Well- I went the other day, but just to say hi."

 

"Likely story."

 

Her refusal to believe his word - her own husband - sent his blood boiling, but Tranquil made sure to keep his tone civil and the anger out of his face. "I swear, honey. Since you left, I've only gone once, and I just had one beer."

 

"Then what have you been doing? Why aren't you going to work?"

 

The dark cloud cleared instantly from his mind and Tranquil jumped a little in his seat. His grin returned and he spread his forelegs wide. "My project! Honey, I'm on the verge of something really important here! I've been studying that spell of mine - remember? The one that makes ponies relax. I think it can show us something really important..."

 

His explanation dragged on, interrupted only when the waiter pony came to take their orders, and again when their drinks arrived. Tranquil tried to put a month of experiments and notes into a few minutes' explanation, while Summer looked on, uncertain and uncomprehending. He tried to simplify as much as he could, but it was not easy.

 

She was a unicorn, but hadn't really put a lot of thought into magic, and had almost zero grasp of psychiatry, or the workings of the pony mind. Despite that, he tried very hard to explain.

 

The conversation lulled a little once they had their food, but eventually Summer asked: "So- this thing is going to tell us how ponies think?"

 

Tranquil swallowed a mouthful of spaghetti hurriedly and shook his head. "No, not how they think. I think- I think the spell peels away layers of thought, and brings our innermost selves to the surface. It'd give us a closer look into the subconscious - it could take us to the brink between thinking and not thinking!"

 

She looked at him blankly and Tranquil tried again: "Honey, it could tell us *why* we think!"

 

"Oh." She didn't sound even slightly impressed, and her gaze on him filled with concern once more. "I can see how that would be important," she lied, "but you really should take better care of yourself. What if you lose your job?"

 

Tranquil's muzzle scrunched up in disgust. "Bah, I don't need the job. You saw what it was doing to me! Honey, the only reason I drank so much was to forget the things I saw in Dr. Pillgood's office!"

 

"You can look for a different job-"

 

"No," he almost growled. "I need to figure out what this spell is telling me. About myself. About all ponies! Once I publish my findings, I'll get offers! I'll have my pick of jobs! I just need a little more time to- to-" he fell silent, unsure how to finish that sentence. The fact was that he wasn't certain himself what he was looking for, didn't have even the slightest inkling of what he might find deep in his own subconsciousness.

 

He was sure the things he'd told Summer were all true. At the destination, there would be some valuable, incredible insight, which would benefit all ponykind. He just didn't know what it would look like. The grass and the dark forest were metaphors, and they would make sense once he saw what lay beyond.

 

What he needed most was time and space to focus. He was close! His experiments with lucid dreaming had allowed him to retain control for longer! The forest was not endless. He could almost see something beyond! A shimmering light. Distorted sounds. It was only a little further.

 

Still, he missed his wife. He missed having someone to hold in bed. He even missed her soft snores, which let him know she was there when he woke at night.

 

The stallion reached out an uncertain hoof and laid it, carefully, against his wife's foreleg.

 

"Will- will you come back?" he asked, haltingly.

 

She gave him a look full of pity and concern, and opened her mouth to speak. "I want to, sweetie," she said quietly. "I'm worried for you."

 

"There's nothing to worry about. I'm not drinking anymore, and once I've solved this problem I'll get a better job, so I won't have to start again! Maybe we'll even be able to afford a bigger place."

 

"But I like our place..."

 

"We can keep it. I like it, too. We'll spend the money and travel, or we'll get some new furniture in. You'll see."

 

She smiled at the thought and her love for him shone in her eyes. "Will you take it a little easier?" she asked.

 

It was a hard thing to promise, and for a while Tranquil's ears went flat and his gaze went down to where he was touching her foreleg. He was so close! If he stopped now, he might never get there again. He looked up at her again, hoping against hope: "I can't, honey. Not now. I need to see this through. It's only a few more days, a week. Two at the outside! Then all I have to do is write my paper!"

 

Her mouth tightened and Summer once again inspected his face. "You have bags under your eyes. You haven't been sleeping enough. Please, take it a little easier, won't you?"

 

Again, he shook his head. "I can't, I'm sorry. It's just a little longer, you have to believe me!"

 

Her eyes closed and Summer Petals let out a long sigh. Her shoulders slumped and she gave the tiniest nod. "I'll come back."

 

It felt as if the world was vibrant again. The colors were sharper, the lingering taste of pasta on his tongue was crisp, and even the air smelled sweeter. Tranquil couldn't contain his smile, and he lifted her foreleg to place a kiss on the hoof. "I love you, honey."

 

"I love you too!"

 

"Let's finish eating and I'll tell you more! Maybe you can help me, and I can get this breakthrough sooner!"

 

 

Tranquil Thoughts woke up when the sun shone into his eyes. He mumbled something unintelligible and turned away from it, only for his muzzle to smack into something warm and fuzzy.

 

"Ow, careful!" Summer Petals chided.

 

Her voice was unexpected and Tranquil sat bolt upright, blinking blearily at his wife. Surely it was some part of a dream? He opened his mouth to ask, but memory trickled back. The dinner, and their reconciliation. Their rush to get home. The heady anticipation as he all but tore her dress off. What happened after.

 

They'd been married for years, but last night still turned his muzzle pink.

 

"Morning, sweetie," she said with a smile. "I thought you'd sleep through the day after what we- well, let's just say I had fun."

 

She put the book she'd been reading to the bedside table and he saw it was one of his. She must have woken up some time ago, but hadn't wanted to leave the bed.

 

"Does that stuff really work?" she asked, jerking her head toward the book.

 

"What? What works?" he asked, but then he saw the title. "Oh, lucid dreaming? I think so. I'm not really trying to learn that."

 

"Then why are you reading about it?"

 

"My spell," he said and settled down on his back. "You know how it sometimes just knocks ponies out? I want to be able to keep casting it when it does that to me. I want to see what's beyond."

 

Summer Petals turned to her side and laid a hoof on his barrel. "Beyond what?"

 

He was sure he'd explained it to her before, and even more certain he'd repeated himself last week. A sudden flash of annoyance made Tranquil frown at the ceiling. "It's- you know what? It's not really important."

 

There was no hangover, but their strenuous activity during the night - multiple times - left the stallion with a dehydration headache and sore muscles. He shifted into a more comfortable position and the sun filled his eyes once more.

 

Only then did he realize that their bedroom faced west, so if he was seeing the sun...

 

"What time is is?" he snapped and all but jumped upright.

 

"Late," was all the reply Summer gave. "Come back, you don't have to go anywhere, do you? We can go to Dr. Pillgood tomorrow and sort out your job."

 

Tranquil looked at her in astonishment. "What? I told you, I don't want to go back there! I'll find a better job after I finish my work!"

 

Her smile slipped and her ears splayed, but Summer kept her voice light: "Sweetie, I really don't think that's a good idea. I'll support you for that project, you know I will, but you need your pay! You should go back to Dr. Pillgood's for now, and we'll talk about a new job later, okay?"

 

If he knew her at all, that 'later' would keep being 'later' until it became 'never'. Summer always ignored his complaints that his job was too stressful, that the images he saw were too hurtful. Her dismissal was what had driven him to drink in the first place!

 

He stared at her and his muzzle twitched toward an angry scrunch a few times before he got a good hold on his emotions. He tried to be reasonable and polite. They *had* just gotten back together, after all. "Honey, I don't want to keep doing that. It's a bad job and I'm not sure I can handle it much longer. I told you that! I'll just finish my research, publish it, and then I'll have my pick of jobs. It's only a little longer!"

 

She sat up, too, but rather than give him a hug and tell him it was alright, like Tranquil had been hoping, Summer got a fierce, hard look in her eyes and pushed herself to the edge of the bed. She stood up, shaking her head a few times to bring her mane to a semblance of order, at least, and pierced him with a stare. "Tranquil, you need to go back to work! I went to the bank before I came here. Our savings are nearly gone! We need an income!"

 

"Then why don't you get a better job and help out while I finish my work?"

 

Her head jerked and she opened her mouth for an angry retort, but it seemed she, too, didn't want to start an argument so soon after their reconciliation. The mare shut her eyes, took a deep breath, then forced herself to smile again. "I'll think about it. You know I don't make enough to pay for this place, and I don't think I can make it happen. Not without a college diploma! We'd still lose the apartment."

 

"I just need a few more days..." he mumbled.

 

She didn't believe him, but she also didn't call him out on it. Instead, she chose another angle of attack. "Sweetie, I know your research is important to you, but I don't think it's going to be this big breakthrough you think it is. What if you don't get any better job offers even after you published your paper?"

 

He opened his mouth to reply, but she headed him off: "Look- Dr. Pillgood is going to give you another chance. I went to see him, and I said you weren't feeling well. You can go back, but he's not going to wait forever! You're not going to get a better job, paper or no paper! I really think you should take it!"

 

It was suddenly all clear to Tranquil. The reason she'd come back had very little to do with their marriage, and her visit to the bank just proved it! Her money purse was getting light and Summer had gotten used to the lifestyle!

 

"So that's what it is," he said, letting his head hang in sorrow. He'd really thought they had something, but in the end she was just using him.

 

"What is it?"

 

"You want to get back together and you want me to work because you need money."

 

"What?" she blurted and leaned closer to press her muzzle to his. "No, sweetie! That's not it, I swear! I'm just worried about you!"

 

He shook his head, partly to deny her words, and partly to break the contact between them. He also got out of bed, but on the opposite side. "No, I see it now," he said sadly. "You went to the bank, and then you went to Dr. Pillgood to make sure I still had a job. You came to me third because you didn't think I'd be difficult to convince."

 

When he looked up, there was a sneer on his face and the anger in his eyes made Summer step back with her ears flat.

 

"I'm easy to manipulate, right? That's it, isn't it? Stupid old Tranquil, I'll just tumble him in bed a little and he'll do whatever I say!"

 

The words made her flinch, as if they were physical blows.

 

"Twine him around your hoof and get your precious income back!"

 

She tried to cut him off: "Tranquil, it's not what you-"

 

"Bah. Just get out! I don't need you, if you don't believe in me! I'll finish the project on my own!"

 

She took another step back. Her eyes filled with tears and she reached out a hoof toward him. "Please don't do that, sweetie! I love you!"

 

"You love my money," he barked. He tried to say the next sentence, but even angry as he was it made his throat constrict. He took a deep breath and forced the words out: "I w-want a di-divorce!"

 

Summer recoiled, as if she really had been struck. All she managed was a choked-off sob, and then she turned and bolted. Her hooves clattered on the floor, and the door slammed shut behind her.

 

Once it was quiet again, Tranquil Thoughts let out the breath he'd been holding. Good riddance, he thought to himself. His own eyes were overflowing with tears too, but it was the best way. He didn't need somepony who would hold him back and doubt his every step.

 

He'd make his breakthrough, publish his paper, and then she would see! She'd come crawling back, sorry and begging for him to take her back. Maybe he would, and maybe he wouldn't.

 

Tranquil forced himself to stop thinking about Summer. She'd already made him lose most of the day. It wasn't worth his time. He was too close!

 

Even as he made his way to the bathroom, his magic collected the book Summer had been reading and a teacup of water from the kitchen, since he didn't have any clean glasses left. Another strand picked up his notebook and the pen from the kitchen counter.

 

It all settled on the coffee table while he relieved himself, and then he hurried to resume his work. He paid no mind to the tears leaking freely down his cheeks, other than to make sure they didn't splash on his notes.

 

She was a gold-digging harlot! He was better off without her.

 

If he repeated it to himself enough times, he would start to believe it. If he tossed himself into his work, maybe he could stop thinking about her. About that hurt, broken-hearted look on her face as she fled. It had been an act, nothing more!

 

 

The going was much easier. Tranquil Thoughts floated above that dark field of grass, like he had so many times before, but his magic felt clearer. Sharper. He could control it in minute detail.

 

It was as if the spell wasn't putting him to sleep, this time. Then again, perhaps it was, and his efforts in lucid dreaming were making it easier to concentrate.

 

He looked down, but could not see his body. Even waving a hoof right in front of his face produced no result. This part was still familiar, and he had experienced it many times. Tranquil put it out of his mind and looked ahead.

 

The birch trees stood like white bones in the darkness. He could hear their leaves rustling, but when he looked up it felt as if the forest rose straight up into the clouds, with no end in sight. It also seemed impenetrably thick.

 

He concentrated on his spell and pushed the magic a tiny bit further. It took hardly any effort, and he began to move. He floated toward the forest, the dark grass gliding serenely underneath him. Out of curiosity, the unicorn looked around, but the field appeared endless. There was nothing on the horizon to either side, and nothing behind him. The only real feature of this dream-like place was the edge of the forest before him.

 

Again he sent a touch more magic through his horn and his leisurely floating became a fast glide. It felt as if a current of water, unseen and unfelt, was carrying him forward and into the trees. He looked ahead and saw that he was nearly among the first tree trunks. His breath caught and his heart began to beat faster.

 

He'd never made it far beyond the tree line. However he concentrated, soon after he passed beneath that dark canopy sleep won out and he blacked out.

 

Today would be different. The forest felt *more real*. The images were clearer, and the thumping sound he always heard wasn't just a random beat. There were tantalizing hints of structure behind it. If he could get a little closer, he would understand what it was.

 

His breath caught as he flew between the trees. Only seconds before, the trunks seemed impenetrable, and now he was in their midst. The forest was all around him, and even when Tranquil looked behind, he could no longer see the edge, nor the field of grass.

 

The forest felt endless. He smelled pine needles and heard an owl's hoot, but underpinning it all was the steady beat.

 

*Thump* *Thump*

 

A short pause, then faster.

 

*Thump Thump Thump*

 

He was still awake!

 

The magic was there, tightly controlled, and his eyes were still open. There was a pressure in his head, like a smothering blanket which would cover everything and muffle all the sensations, but Tranquil fought it off. He was too excited, and that edge of anticipation gave him the clarity he needed to persevere.

 

Again he focused, enhancing the spell in his own mind, and the trees began to slip by with reckless speed. The black and white trunks blurred as they whipped past, and yet Tranquil had no fear of hitting one. There always seemed to be a clear path before him.

 

He took it as a sign! He was meant to go that way, and this was the proof.

 

Soon the endless forest would change, and then-

 

The stallion stared straight ahead, a fierce grin on his lips as he waited to see. He considered pouring more power into the magic, but hesitated. It was already stronger than he'd ever used it on his patients. He didn't want to cross some unknown boundary and knock himself out, not when he was so close.

 

He was standing in a forest clearing. When he'd stopped floating, or when his mad flight had stopped, Tranquil Thoughts couldn't say. One moment he was in the midst of trees, and the next he was... there.

 

The sky above was full of stars, and a waning crescent moon shone with a pale silver light. Short grass was soft under his hooves, and the thumping sound was so strong he felt the beat in his chest. A quick glance behind showed him the birch forest, dense and impenetrable. He couldn't see the passage he must have flown through.

 

Ahead of him - lights, and noise, and ponies. There was a wooden hut with magical lamps hanging from the eaves all around. Many ponies crowded the porch, and there were more inside.

 

It was a party!

 

The thumping he had been hearing was a deep bass beat of the music. There was a sussuration of talking, and the clink of glasses. Every now and then, a voice rose in chortling laughter.

 

Tranquil smiled and began to walk. He briefly realized he had his body back, but dismissed it and proceeded to the party.

 

After a few steps his hooves faltered and he focused inward. The spell he had to be maintaining was still present, but it felt distant, muted. As if it was happening to somepony else. Experimentally, he reduced the amount of power going through it.

 

Immediately he felt faint, and his stomach twisted. His legs began to wobble and he nearly fell on his muzzle before he tightened his grip on the spell once more.

 

Right.

 

If he let go, it would just sweep him away into sleep. He must have broken through some kind of a threshold, and the magic had the opposite effect on this side. Tranquil nodded to himself, grinning with nervous excitement. He was breaking new ground!

 

It was only a few more steps to the porch, but all he saw were shadowy pony figures. It was as if the lights did not touch them. He heard snatches of conversations, but hey were indistinct, as if everypony was mumbling. He could have sworn he knew some of them, but he couldn't see any of their faces clearly enough to be sure.

 

He placed his hoof on the first wooden step and a hoof reached toward him to help him up. Tranquil accepted it, more as a form of greeting than needing any actual assistance, and looked into the face of...

 

"Summer?"

 

The mare, beautiful as ever, and without a trace of that same resentment she'd shown that very morning, beamed at him and gave him a wink. "Hello yourself, sweetie! Come on in! The party is just getting started!"

 

Tranquil nearly shied back, ears folding down at the memory of the words they'd said to each other. He'd told her he wanted a divorce, but here she was acting as if everything was okay. He allowed her to pull him into the midst of the partying ponies and he asked, nervously: "You're not upset about this morning?"

 

She shook her head with a quizzical look, pointed a hoof at her ear, and aimed it straight at him. Only then did Tranquil realize that the music was overpowering. The song was familiar, but he couldn't quite place it. It wasn't very important, though. He leaned to Summer and repeated his question right into her ear.

 

If anything, her smile widened. "Why would I be upset?" she asked. "You were right! I was being selfish. I thought about it, and I should have supported you all along. Your work is too important."

 

He realized he could hear her quite normally, despite the loud music, and opened his mouth to ask how that was possible. Summer just giggled, shook her head as if to tell him to drop it, and leaned in to give him a quick peck on his cheek. "Come on, let's dance a little. We can talk later!"

 

She wasn't angry, not even a little. She supported him, and his research? Tranquil's muzzle scrunched up in confusion, but then he shrugged to himself. This was something like a dream. Of course his dream version of Summer would be like this. He wouldn't create a mean-spirited, annoying, and pushy wife for himself.

 

With that in mind, he followed Summer Petals into the house. It was chock full of ponies, but somehow a space opened up. The music changed to something sensual, and she turned to look hopefully at him.

 

"Will you dance with me?" she asked foreleg outstretched. "Dance like we did at our wedding? Do you remember?"

 

He smiled and his eyes filled with happy tears at the memory. He placed his hoof in hers, closed his eyes, and took a step forward.

 

Their lips met.

 

 

The dance, slow and sensual, went on for a while. Tranquil Thoughts felt as if his sense of self was dissolving, and the only real things in the world were the music, and the feel of Summer's cheek against his. There were other ponies around them, but at times he could almost forget they existed.

 

The pair swayed, stepping in sync from hoof to hoof, circling around each other and enjoying the warmth of their rekindled love. It reminded Tranquil of their wedding dance. He had been so nervous! From a young age, the colt had been clumsy and inelegant on his hooves, and the dancing lessons he'd taken before the big day hadn't really given him much confidence.

 

It was only when Sumer had led him to the dance floor, her hoof on his withers a steady source of comfort, did the stallion begin to relax a little. His first steps were still rather awkward, and a blush forced itself on his face as he imagined all the guests snickering at his graceless lumbering. Then Summer had caught his muzzle in her hooves, turned his face to hers, and smiled beatifically. That faint glimmer in her eyes filled his entire world, and Tranquil forgot about the others.

 

He danced for her that day, and for nopony else, and it had worked. Once his anxiety began to dissolve, and he'd let himself listen to the music, the movement came naturally.

 

That dance had been a lot more vigorous, and the pair had twirled and hopped to the joyous tune until they were out of breath. Each time the steps brought them closer, Summer had landed a quick kiss on his face, and each time she turned away, she let her tail brush gently against his coat. The dance had been tantalizing, full of promise and secret delights.

 

This time, their movements were measured. Calmer. It was their wedding dance, but slowed, thoughtful. It was, Tranquil realized, how they would dance if they'd kept it up.

 

Maybe he should take Summer Petals dancing sometimes.

 

As if reading his mind, the mare pulled away, laughing, and he came to a stop. His limbs were trembling, and his breath came in short pants.

 

It wasn't the dance, but the effort of maintaining his spell. How long had it been? No pony could keep up that amount of magic for so many hours. He would have to stop, and the thought filled him with sadness. In this dream world, he was happy. Summer was happy.

 

He knew it wasn't really her, but he wished he could stay there forever, even if he hadn't found the big discovery he'd been looking for.

 

Hadn't he?

 

He'd gone deep into himself, into his very subconscious mind. Beyond the dark grass, and the night forest, there was this hut. There were other ponies, but he could recognize none of them. There was Summer.

 

Maybe the deep discovery he was meant to make was that inside the soul of each pony were- other ponies. That one special somepony which defined them.

 

So it wasn't a grand discovery, but it was going to save his marriage! He'd seen what was truly important, and now he had to make it true *outside*.

 

With a smile, Tranquil Thoughts lessened the power flowing through his horn.

 

The headache was blinding and immediate, wringing from his throat a hoarse cry of pain. He was hardly aware hitting the floor, and his only panicked thought was to end the pain. He quickly poured more magic into the spell, and the throbbing in his skull faded. All his muscles spasmed weakly, and when he looked around, he saw double images.

 

He could recognize Summer Petals' face just above his. Her eyes were filled with concern. "Are you okay? You just collapsed, sweetie."

 

Tranquil rolled to his belly and tried to get his hooves under him, but his legs felt like they were made of jello and wouldn't obey his commands.

 

Experimentally, he lessened his spell by the tiniest sliver he could manage. Perhaps he had to reduce it gradually, bit by bit, to give his mind time to adapt.

 

The pounding in his head increased, and he quickly returned the magic to where it had been. His eyes looked around wildly, looking for a way out. He couldn't keep the spell up much longer, and when it started to slip-

 

He shuddered just thinking about it.

 

"Up! Help me up!" he panted.

 

Summer dutifully crouched beside him and lifted him to his hooves. After a fashion, he could stand on his own, but she stayed close in case he needed more support. He thought furiously.

 

"Out. I need to get to the forest!"

 

He had to go back to the dark grass, and he could let the spell go. At the minimum, he had to get into the forest. He would fall asleep there. That was always how he had come out of the dream, or vision, or whatever it was.

 

Except- he wasn't sure he could navigate the dark forest, even if he could walk that far. His flight had been fast and reckless, and he couldn't even begin to remember all the twists and turns it had taken through the birch trunks.

 

His breath was coming in short, panicked pants, but Tranquil forced his legs to obey and hobbled outside. He stopped on the familiar porch and inspected the line of the trees around the little house. The trees stood in a tight, impenetrable wall, and a small whimper escaped him when he couldn't see any clue where he'd come out. "Which way? Which way, blast it?!"

 

"Which way is what, sweetie?" Summer asked.

 

Tranquil twirled to face her, sudden hope fluttering in his heart. "Do you know how to get out of here? I need to go back through the woods. Which way did I come from?"

 

Her ears laid back and her face scrunched up with concern for him. "You shouldn't go out there, sweetheart. There's nothing. It's evil. We stay out of the forest."

 

"No! I have to go! I have to leave! I can't hold it much longer!"

 

She kept her eyes on him, full of worry and brimming with tears, but eventually she gave a single, slow nod. "J-Just be careful, okay?" she stammered. "I don't like the forest."

 

"Help me! I have to get through it!"

 

The mare took a step back, eyes wide and ears completely flat. "I'm afraid of it," she breathed.

 

Tranquil grunted in annoyance, but he couldn't waste any more time convincing her. He had to leave before his magic began to fail!

 

The first few steps were hard, but each additional came more easily, as if his strength gradually returned as he got away from the house. Before long, he could manage a slow trot, and the long grass whipped against his barrel and his belly.

 

He reached the tree line.

 

It was just as impenetrable as he'd seen from the distance. Tranquil inspected it to his left, and to his right, but he couldn't see any break. He trotted along the edge of the forest for a good while, but there was no path.

 

Out of sheer desperation, he pushed past the nearest trees, but immediately found his legs tangled in thick undergrowth. However hard he stumbled, and tripped, and shouldered through, it felt like crawling into a dense thicket. Roots snagged his hooves, and branches tangled in his mane. He couldn't see more than a few hoof-breadths in front of his face, and the foliage muffled all sound, except for his harsh breathing.

 

He kept trying to move forward for a long time, but eventually his head slumped and he had to turn back. At that rate, it would take him *weeks*, and he still might not find his way back. It was impossible to navigate, and he could easily walk in circles without realizing it. He simply had to find the path he'd followed on the inward journey! There had to be a break in the treeline. Maybe he'd come out further down the edge?

 

Tranquil turned back, and found the way clear before him. He was in a little hollow amidst thick bushes, but the direction he'd come from was clear. There was no sign of the branches and the roots which had impeded him so.

 

Trembling, his legs shaking, he walked carefully back, slipped easily around birch trees, and emerged into the moonlit clearing with the house.

 

He was almost too scared to look back, but he forced himself to turn.

 

The line of trees was unbroken, just as it had been the first time.

 

 

Tranquil Thoughts paced by the treeline for a while, but there was no break. Twice more he tried to push his way into the forest, but had to give up when the undergrowth tangled in his legs, and the brambles grew so thick he could not force his body past them anymore.

 

Not even his magic could help - it was all he could do to maintain the spell, and the few times it had begun to slip the waning magic had brought more intense, blinding headaches.

 

When he finally retreated, there were twigs in his mane and tail, and he bled in several places where his frantic, reckless scramble had driven thorns into his flesh.

 

Finally admitting defeat, at least for the moment, Tranquil slunk back to the cottage, where the party was still going. The ponies watched him impassively, all except for Summer Petals, who hurried to the edge of the patio to throw her hooves around him.

 

"You see?" she said. "There's nothing out there. Just stay here with me, please?"

 

Bewildered, and badly frightened, Tranquil returned her hug and closed his eyes. Sweat was rolling down his neck from the effort of maintaining the spell, but he dared not stop. He wasn't sure he could keep going much longer.

 

His breath was quickening as he sought for options, and he pushed himself away from the mare. Her ears fell, but Tranquil just pushed past her to go inside.

 

The crowd was thicker in the house, but nopony paid him any mind. He had to push past groups of ponies, and conversation fell in a lull around him. Impassive eyes watched him for a moment, then ponies went back to their discussion, always just on the edge of legibility.

 

"Hello?" he quavered. "Can anypony help me? How do I get out of here? Please, I want to wake up!"

 

The murmur of quiet conversation stopped, and the others looked at him. Their faces were still a blur, but somehow he could tell that none of them showed any emotion, other than Summer Petals, who watched him anxiously, framed by the door.

 

"Anypony?" he tried again, backing away from those blank, disinterested stares until his flank pressed against Summer Petals.

 

She laid a gentle hoof on his back. "Don't worry, everything is going to be fine. I'm here with you."

 

Tears leaked down Tranquil's face, and mingled with his sweat. "I want to go home," he whined. His legs were trembling with the effort of the magic, and he focused all his hopes on his wife. "Please, help me? How do I get home? I have to get back through the forest?"

 

"There's nothing in the forest for you, sweetie. You'll be happy with me. You promised you'd stay with me forever, remember?"

 

She offered him a smile, but it didn't reassure him in the slightest. Tranquil pushed her away and stumbled back out to the patio. The forest mocked him, with the impenetrable wall of birch as far around as he could see. In sheer desperation, he jumped down to the grass and galloped around the house. The line was unbroken everywhere.

 

He would never find his way back. Tranquil dragged himself back up to the patio and his hind legs collapsed under him. Jabs of pain threatened to split his mind as the magic began to slip, and it was only through supreme effort he could steady the spell once more.

 

"Please," he grunted through teeth clenched with effort. "Somepony..."

 

"Tranquil Thoughts?"

 

A new voice had sounded, one that was vaguely familiar. The stallion looked up and saw a face. It was faint, and he could see stars through it, but it was Luna, painted across half the sky.

 

Sudden relief gave him strength and scrambled to his hooves so he could run to her. "Princess!" he cried gladly. "You can help me! I can't get out of this dream! I came in through the forest, but I can't find my way back! You can... guide... me?"

 

His words faded away when he saw the sadness in the Princess' eyes.

 

"I'm sorry, Tranquil Thoughts," she said.

 

Her solemn tone made him back away in sudden fear. "W-What do you mean, Princess?"

 

"There is no way back through the forest," she said. "You are not dreaming, Tranquil Thoughts."

 

"Then- Then why are you here? How did you find this place, other than in my dreams? Tell me!"

 

She watched him for what felt like a long time, but then she bowed her head so that her mane covered her eyes. "Your wife called the Guard when she found you. Word reached my Sister and I."

 

He glanced at the house, and the waiting Summer Petal, and the impassive, disinterested ponies. He listened to the throb of the music, then returned his gaze to the Princess. His sudden rush of elation and adrenaline when she'd come was fading, and he had to sit. The struggle with the magic was back, and he was barely holding on with the edges of his hooves.

 

"Where am I, Princess? Can you help me get out?"

 

"There is nothing to come out to, Tranquil."

 

He had to lock his forelegs in place to keep upright, but they still shook. "W-What are you saying, P-Princess? Luna? Please, you have to help me!"

 

She sighed, and shook her mane out of her face so she could look him in the eyes. "The spell you have used has damaged your brain, Tranquil Thoughts. There is hardly anything left. It's only your magic that is still sustaining your thought, and when it fades, so will you."

 

On some level, Tranquil realized, he'd known. Ever since that first flash of pain when he'd tried to reduce the magic, he had known that the spell was doing something bad. Had he refused to understand because it had already been too late at that point?

 

"Please. Princess! There must be something!" it came out as a miserable wail.

 

"Your body is already dying. I'm so sorry, my subject, but nopony can stop this. There is only one way through the forest that separates the living from the dead."

 

He had an idea and looked up, clinging to the last, desperate hope. "But you're here! If you came here, you must have a way out! Please, I'll pay anything! I'll pay..." He was already on his belly, and now he put his forelegs together in supplication.

 

"I am not really here. I'm only speaking to what's left of you, Tranquil. I am sorry."

 

"Why didn't this happen to anypony else?! I used this spell on hundreds of ponies, and it never harmed anyone!"

 

She shook her head sadly, but didn't answer.

 

"Tell me!"

 

Finally, the Princess spoke: "You've never pushed them this hard. What were you looking for? Summer Petals said something about dark grass, and a forest. What did you hope to find?"

 

"I thought it would show me my subconscious..." he said defeatedly.

 

"It did," Luna replied, her voice quiet and soft. "It took you in through the layers, to the death that waits inside all ponies. You took the path prematurely, yet you cannot come back."

 

Tears were flowing unimpeded down his face, but he remained silent. After some time, the Princess added gently: "I can take a message to your wife, Tranquil Thoughts. I'm sorry that I cannot do more."

 

He gave it brief thought, then shrugged to himself. "Tell her I love her. That I'm- Tell her I'm sorry-" his voice broke, and Tranquil took a deep, ragged breath as he wrestled with both the magic and the turmoil of his emotion. "Tell her I wish I'd been a better husband. Tell her I treasure the moments we spent together."

 

Saying that was strangely draining. It felt final, as if he hadn't truly believed until now. Maybe a part of him had been hoping for a miraculous rescue to the last second. There was no more time left. The spell surged, and the magic began to slip from him.

 

"What will happen to me now, Princess?"

 

"I don't know."

 

Tranquil Thoughts put his hooves against his head, which felt like it was splitting open, and his words came out soaked with pain "Ow! It hurts!" he moaned. "Stay with me, please?"

 

"I will stay. I am with you to the last, Tranquil Thoughts. You are not alone. Rest easy, my little pony."

 

The magic faded, and the world went white with agony.

 

~~ END ~~