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Break (SPG)

By awf
Created: 2020-10-29 18:04:26
Expiry: Never
/spg/

  1. Break
  2.  
  3. by AWF
  4. big thanks for help with the first few chapters: Ephemeral
  5.  
  6. Prologue:
  7.  
  8. > I paused to rest my arm a little. Let the riding crop drop, so it hung from a loop around my wrist.
  9. > More importantly, I had to let my trainee rest as well.
  10. > It was a light blue earth mare with a dark mane. It probably had a fancy name, such as' navy blue' or 'indigo'. Her ass-picture was a spool of thread and a needle.
  11. > None of that really mattered to me, except her bright color. I had to be a little more careful than usual. The lighter ones showed bruises and blood all too easily.
  12. > I took it as a point of pride that my trainees were at the same time the most obedient, as well as the least battered.
  13. > Some trainers don't understand that beatings aren't everything.
  14. > True, they are important, but only a part of the whole thing.
  15. > I sat down and watched the creature draw breath. Her flanks were heaving and I saw darker patches of sweat. Her face was all but covered in snot and tears.
  16. > As soon as her wheezing slowed down, I went back to work.
  17. > The screams and cries were hoarse and I knew she couldn't take much more.
  18. > I made sure to spread the hits around - ass, legs, barrel, neck.
  19. > It wouldn't do to break the skin. That lead to scars and infection, both of which were a bother and brought the price down.
  20. "Turn!"
  21. > I didn't have to command twice. The creature quickly flopped, showing me her other side.
  22. > She was learning. Our time together would soon be over.
  23. > As a reward, I stopped short of what I had originally intended to give her.
  24. > In my profession, lack of punishment can be a gift in itself.
  25. > Then I yanked her head up by her mane. She knew better than to close her eyes.
  26. "Very good, Gemstone," I cooed. "You're a very good girl. Rest now. We'll continue tomorrow."
  27. > I made sure she had water in her bowl. No food, though.
  28. > Food was a reward and she hadn't earned her meal for the day.
  29. > I paused before I flicked off the light.
  30. "Good night, Gemstone."
  31. > It wasn't her original name. That was a part of her past, and the faster she learned to let go of it, the better off she would be.
  32. > You can't really train someone without investing yourself. The best slaves were the ones who had no delusions about their place.
  33. > And no hope of freedom.
  34. > ...
  35. > The next morning I ate a hearty breakfast and then unlocked the door to the guest room.
  36. "Come here, Gemstone."
  37. > She quickly trotted out, showing no signs of her aching hide.
  38. > Her deep, unhesitant bow made me proud.
  39. > "Yes, M-master?"
  40. > The stutter was unattractive, but it was a common problem. It would resolve itself over time, as she became more comfortable in her role.
  41. "Let us practice some of your duties. Clean this place up."
  42. > She quickly went for the broom and duster in the corner.
  43. "Gemstone," I said, displeased
  44. > She froze up and I could almost feel the waves of terror gripping her little heart.
  45. "I wasn't finished."
  46. > The mare scurried back and fell down, grovelling. "I'm sorry, Master! P-please forgive me!"
  47. "After you clean the house, I want you to wash the dishes. You may have lunch, when you have finished both. Then, wait for me in this room. I will go out today, I think."
  48. > Simple instructions and she nodded quickly.
  49. "First, however, bring me the switch."
  50. > Her little whimper didn't displease me. It was actually kind of cute.
  51. > She didn't argue, just went and fetched a long, bendy switch. She dropped it neatly into my outstretched hand.
  52. > Then she turned herself sideways and lowered her head. "I'm r-ready, Master."
  53. > I struck her just the once, but I could see how much it hurt. She kept herself from crying out most admirably. Just for that I decided to bring her back a little treat.
  54. > The switch clattered on the floor as I dropped it and walked out. She would put it back herself.
  55. > The chores I set Gemstone wouldn't take much more than two or three hours. I went to see a couple of movies and then took a nice, long lunch.
  56. > I didn't have any place to be. The goal of the day was to make the slave wait for her master.
  57. > After I finished eating, it was still too early, so I drove to the beach.
  58. > It was a bit chilly - spring had barely begun - so I just sat in my car and watched the waves for a while.
  59. > It was dusk by the time I came home. There were no lights in the windows, which displeased me.
  60. > Maybe she was waiting in the dark?
  61. > I found her sleeping on the living room floor.
  62. > True, she was where I told her to be, but sleeping wasn't acceptable.
  63. > It wasn't a big error, but a slave should be ready for her Master when he comes home.
  64. > Besides, this would serve as an impromptu test for her.
  65. "Gemstone. Were you sleeping on the job?"
  66. > She jumped up with a squeak. I guessed she had waited for a long time and was exhausted. Otherwise she would have woken up when I opened the front door.
  67. > "N-no, Master! I was just... resting."
  68. > I didn't enjoy her lies.
  69. "No, you were sleeping on the job. And now you lied to me."
  70. > She knew defeat and her head fell. "I'm sorry, Master."
  71. > I crouched down and opened my arms. She walked into the hug and hid her face in my shirt.
  72. "Had you told the truth immediately, I would only have scolded you. But now I need to punish you more severely."
  73. > She was already crying, making a damp patch in my shirt. I didn't mind. She would wash and iron it the next day.
  74. > "M-master? Maybe you- maybe it doesn't have to be the whip this time?"
  75. > I sighed deeply.
  76. "Sorry, girl. But that's how you learn the fastest, remember?"
  77. > She nodded against my chest. "I- I understand, Master."
  78. "But we have a bit of time before the punishment."
  79. > She pulled her face away and turned those big, emerald eyes on me.
  80. > "Master?"
  81. "Hmm?"
  82. > She gave me a small smile. "Thank you for teaching me, Master. I'll do better, I promise."
  83. > I ran my fingers through her mane and felt the pony shiver in pleasure.
  84. "I know you will. You're a good girl and I'll make sure you find a very nice home."
  85. > I remembered her treat and brought out a lollipop from my shirt pocket. I unwrapped it and offered.
  86. > There was real delight in her eyes. "For me, Master?"
  87. > I nodded with a smile.
  88. "You were a good pony this morning, Gemstone. I had decided to reward you. This-"
  89. > I waved my hand around the room.
  90. "-transgression does not change that."
  91. > She took it in her mouth and savored it with her eyes closed. Her smile was as sweet as I assumed the candy to be.
  92. > Soon, we were in her room again with the riding crop.
  93. > Her courage had left her and she watched the instrument with wide, fearful eyes.
  94. > She swallowed a few times and flinched when I slapped the whip against my thigh.
  95. > "Please, Master. I'll- I'll do better, I swear. Just please, don't-"
  96. > I began. Her begging was unappealing and made the punishment worse. She knew it, too.
  97. > But she couldn't help herself from crying out again.
  98. > The begging turned to pure screaming and then to choked weeping.
  99. > That was the point where I stopped.
  100. > She was a drooling mess, but still able to understand me.
  101. > I sat down and gathered her in my arms.
  102. "Shh, my dear. It's over now, you did splendidly."
  103. > She just whimpered a little, but I could see she was with me.
  104. "You're a very good pony. Soon, you will make an exemplary slave. It will be better then, you'll see."
  105. > The pony held on to me as if for dear life. Her sobbing gradually quieted down.
  106. > I cradled her for over an hour, rocking her and gently stroking her mane. Finally, she was asleep and I carefully lowered her on her cot.
  107. > I made sure she was covered with a blanket. I didn't want Gemstone to catch a cold.
  108. > By next morning, Gemstone was back to her usual, chipper self. Bright-eyed and happy, so I let her eat breakfast with me.
  109. > I began to consider her ready. Just one thing was left to practice.
  110. > She was washing up after the meal and I stepped into the middle of my living room.
  111. "Gemstone!"
  112. > The pony quickly put the dishes in the sink and hurried over. Her enthusiasm to please was commendable.
  113. > She approached without fear, certain in her knowledge that she had done nothing wrong.
  114. "Now, I'm sure you remember what I taught you the first day you came here, do you not?"
  115. > She seemed a little worried, but answered immediately.
  116. > "Yes Master. Never question. Speak when you are spoken to. Obey every command. Never complain or demand. Be grateful for everything. Always trust your Master."
  117. > She had learned it well. It was time to put her to the test and see if she really believed it.
  118. "Turn around, Gem."
  119. > She wasn't sure what to make of it, but she obeyed. I helped her along with a gentle slap on her rump.
  120. > She was looking back at me, nervously.
  121. > I slowly and pointedly unbuckled my belt and lowered my pants.
  122. > The pony quickly understood what I was intending and I could see her legs beginning to shake. Her tail clamped against her parts in a most insulting manner.
  123. > I tapped the inside of her thigh with a finger.
  124. "Spread," I said, simply.
  125. > It took her several attempts to move her feet further apart. The tail was still clamped tightly over her marehood.
  126. "Move your tail, please."
  127. > It wasn't a request and she knew it. When she didn't comply after a while, I firmly pulled it aside myself. As soon as I released my grip, it was back in place.
  128. > The pony was taking rapid, shallow breaths. She was facing straight ahead and I knew her eyes were tightly shut.
  129. > "P-p-p-please, Mas-Master," she whimpered. "Please n-no..."
  130. > I slowly pulled my pants back and re-fastened my belt.
  131. "Turn," I said, gently.
  132. > She slowly shuffled to face me. There were already tears streaking down her terror-filled face.
  133. > The mare knew she had fucked up badly. I took a deep breath and let it go.
  134. > I put my hands around her neck and she pressed herself closer, nuzzling my shoulder. She sniffed.
  135. "That wasn't good, Gemstone. You do not deny your Master anything, not even yourself. You know that, dear. Your Master already owns you, who are you to deny him his property?"
  136. > She was weeping openly now. She knew this would mean severe punishment.
  137. > "I'm so sorry, Master. I didn't mean to- I was afraid. I didn't expect-"
  138. > I put a hand over her muzzle, silencing her.
  139. "Sshh, it doesn't matter now. You rejected your Master. I am very disappointed."
  140. > She sobbed wordlessly, but I could feel her nod.
  141. > I patted her neck gently.
  142. "This is a big slip-up. Especially this far in your training. I had expected better of you."
  143. > It wasn't true. Almost every pony failed this test. But the lie was useful.
  144. > "I'll try again, Master. You can- I'll do it, I swear!"
  145. > I feigned a sad sigh.
  146. "I'm not sure it is really worth my time and effort. You keep making all these mistakes and I'm starting to doubt you can be taught."
  147. > She began shivering violently in fear. "No," she gasped, voice filled with fear. "Please, Master, let me try again! I- I want it! Please don't get rid of me."
  148. > The pony knew very well what would happen if I decided her unteachable. It would be either hard labor or a snuff film. One was slower than the other, but they were both gruesome deaths.
  149. > She was clutching me with all her strength, begging to be given another chance.
  150. > It was very tight, but I didn't mind. I had full confidence she wouldn't hurt me, despite her strength.
  151. "Okay, okay. That's enough Gemstone."
  152. > She let me go and I held her at arm's length, so I could see her face.
  153. "I'll let you try again. I know you can be a good girl and I'll help you."
  154. > The pony almost sagged in relief. "Oh, thank you, Master. Thank you!"
  155. > If I asked her to present herself again, she would do it without question. But that would prove nothing.
  156. > She needed to forget the fear a little. She needed to do it without the immediate threat.
  157. > I gently traced the outline of her jaw and neck.
  158. "Go to your room. There will be no lunch for you today."
  159. > She nodded without hesitation. "Yes, Master."
  160. "I want you to think on the magnitude of your failure. I will fetch you in the evening and you will tell me how many lashes you deserve."
  161. > This was a new one and her ears immediately flattened in fear. "Y-yes, Master."
  162. "If I feel you deserve more, you will fail and we will be done. If you choose enough or too many strikes, you will be a good girl and I will give you another chance."
  163. > She was starting to pant again, already shaking with terror. I knew how agonizing the choice would be for her.
  164. > What I didn't tell her is that whatever number she picked I would accept. Undoubtedly it would be far larger than any punishment I set her. The pony wouldn't dare fail this test.
  165. "Now go."
  166. > She dragged herself to her room and I closed the door behind her. I waited for a short while, until I heard her sobbing quietly.
  167. > Then I went to browse the Internet and watch a show or two. Things to pass the time until evening.
  168. > The day went quickly. I was too lazy to make myself lunch and I wasn't about to let Gemstone out of her confinement to cook. So I settled for a simple sandwich.
  169. > I caught up on my favourite shows until it was dark outside. Then I went and opened Gemstone's room.
  170. "It is time," I said, simply.
  171. > The pony came out quickly, but I could see that she had been crying the entire day. Her red-rimmed eyes darted here and there, quickly, nervously.
  172. > And her knees were definitely shaking. But she came out and stood before me.
  173. "What have you decided?"
  174. > She had to swallow a few times before she could make her mouth work. I saw her eyes where tightly shut as she stammered her reply.
  175. > "I w-want a... a h-hundred strikes, Mas-master."
  176. > I was impressed. It was a new record.
  177. "Are you sure?"
  178. > I slapped the crop against my leg and the pony gave a small jump.
  179. > She still kept her eyes closed. "Y-yes, Master," she squeaked, unable to keep a whimper from her voice.
  180. > I snapped the riding crop against her flank and Gemstone gasped in surprise and pain. But she didn't try to hide or cover herself.
  181. > Five more hits fell across her back and ass in quick succession. She couldn't keep herself from crying out and her hind legs buckled at the end.
  182. > I waited for a while and she dragged herself back to her feet. Her head hung limply and she was moaning pitifully, but didn't beg me to stop.
  183. > The next several hits fell high up her back and on her barrel. These proved too much and she began screaming, despite her best efforts.
  184. > She was shaking badly now, but still determined to stick it out.
  185. > I walked around and crouched before her.
  186. "Look at me, Gemstone."
  187. > She slowly opened her eyes and blinked away the tears.
  188. "I know how much it hurts. We can stop, just say so."
  189. > But the mare shook her head, resolutely. "Eight-eighty nine left, M-m-master."
  190. > I raised her chin with my palm and wiped away a tear with the thumb. I leaned closer and gently kissed her on the snout.
  191. "That was enough, Gemstone. I'm proud of you. Maybe you are ready, after all."
  192. > She couldn't understand right away. "Master?"
  193. "Your punishment is done. You were willing to follow through. I am impressed, Gemstone."
  194. > However hard she tried, the pony could not hide her relief. She sagged and let out the breath she had been holding.
  195. > Then she threw her arms around my chest and put her chin on my shoulder.
  196. > "Thank you, Master! Oh, thank you so much. I don't deserve such a kind Master!"
  197. > I held her for a while, patting her neck. Finally, she extricated herself.
  198. > "Master?"
  199. "Yes?"
  200. > Her eyes fell to the floor and her ears drooped. "If- if you still want me, I won't deny you anymore."
  201. > There was abject misery in her voice, but it seemed like an improvement.
  202. "If you really mean that, I will neglect to lock your door tonight. Come to my room at midnight."
  203. > She nodded, her eyes still on the floor.
  204. "Oh, and Gemstone?"
  205. > She looked up at me.
  206. "Do not come if you are not certain. If you fail again, we will be done. Remember - I must believe you really want it."
  207. > She had to try several times to speak. "Y-yes, Master."
  208. "You may take dinner, but make sure you clean after yourself. I will go to bed."
  209. > The pony nodded. "Yes, Master."
  210. > ...
  211. > I didn't sleep that night. I listened to the pony walking around, opening cupboards, rummaging through the fridge.
  212. > I also heard her wash up and put everything back in its place.
  213. > Then, silence, for a long while.
  214. > I guessed she wouldn't gather up her nerve to come, not this night.
  215. > But I didn't expect her to. This final part - letting their most private self be taken, violated - took a lot of desperation.
  216. > I was about to fall asleep when I heard hoofsteps on the stairs.
  217. > A smile found its way to my lips. Maybe I was getting better at this?
  218. > After another long pause, there was a gentle knock on the door. The kind of tap which someone makes when they hope like hell there won't be any answer.
  219. > No such luck for Gemstone.
  220. "Enter."
  221. > She pushed the door open and slowly walked inside. I turned on the lamp on my end table.
  222. > The pony seemed horrified, disgusted, but determined.
  223. > I knew those feelings would pass as she got used to providing for her Master.
  224. > Evidently, she remembered my warning and made herself smile tentatively. It was fake, obviously, but I judged it would fool someone unfamiliar with ponies.
  225. "What is it, Gemstone?"
  226. > The fact that I had to prod didn't bode well, but I was willing to see it through.
  227. > "I... would like to share your bed, Master. I want to love you," she said, barely a tremor in her voice. It was obvious she still had some qualms about using the word 'sex'.
  228. > I moved to one side of the bed and help up the cover. I always slept naked and I could see the mare looking fearfully at me.
  229. > She hadn't seen me like this before, I recalled.
  230. > To her credit, she paused for a moment only, before climbing in, facing me. I slowly lowered the covers over her. That seemed to help.
  231. > "W-what do you want me to do, Master?"
  232. > I didn't answer. Instead, I put my hand on her neck and slid it slowly down, ending on her buttock.
  233. > There was a shiver, but one could easily mistake it for pleasure.
  234. "You tell me."
  235. > Her yes closed and she tried to find words. "I want to m-make you feel good, Master."
  236. > It was almost half-convincing. Not bad.
  237. > I moved my hand higher and slid it down to her stomach, inching ever closer. My fingers bumped against a nipple.
  238. > Her breath caught and for a moment I thought she would break down and run away. She kept her eyes tightly shut.
  239. > I could see the moment when she surrendered. All the tension left her body and she let out a long breath.
  240. > The mare even leaned closer and pushed her lips against mine.
  241. > My hand wrapped more firmly around her small teats, massaging gently.
  242. > The careful touch further relaxed the pony. But she pulled away and looked at me.
  243. > I knew the conflict well. She didn't want to feel pleasure from this. She wanted it to feel wrong. She wanted to hate me.
  244. > But I was gentle. And she remembered how I stopped her beating short.
  245. > She remembered the lollipop and all the other little treats I brought her.
  246. > The times I held her after a punishment, murmuring soothing nothings.
  247. > How I carefully applied numbing cream to ease her pain.
  248. > She began to realize how good life can be, if she submits.
  249. > She began to want to submit.
  250. > It made me smile, genuinely pleased. My hand moved a bit lower, playing with her folds.
  251. > Gemstone shuffled a little closer, her forelegs wrapping around my arm.
  252. > "Yes. Yes, Master. That feels so nice."
  253. > It was still an act, I knew. One she had probably prepared earlier. But it was beginning to sound natural.
  254. > And, despite her disgust, her body was responding. I knew it would make her even more conflicted. She would hate herself for liking it.
  255. > For a while, she would struggle against it, trying to stay angry.
  256. > But in the end, she would accept it. Complying with her Master would be infinitely easier. It would resolve her of all blame. It would make sense of her world, once again.
  257. > Another kiss, this time she experimentally prodded my lips with her tongue.
  258. > I let her in, while at the same time pushing my fingers in her.
  259. > As she gasped, I let her draw breath from my lungs. Her eyes widened in surprise.
  260. > She pulled back and moaned.
  261. > I kept playing with my fingers, rubbing exactly the right places.
  262. > Gemstone blinked away tears that threatened to overwhelm her. She desperately wanted to hate this.
  263. > She wanted this to be forced on her. She didn't want it to be her fault.
  264. "Tell me you want it."
  265. > It was a genius solution to her dilemma. It she really wanted it, then it wouldn't be bad anymore.
  266. > Then I wouldn't be forcing myself on her.
  267. > It could be her choice.
  268. > She grasped at the straw.
  269. > "I want it, Master. I want it so badly. I want you to love me."
  270. > If she said the lie to herself enough times, it would become truth.
  271. > I rolled on my back, freeing my arm from her grip.
  272. "Come here."
  273. > She climbed on top and I felt a trickle of warmth drip from her onto my stomach.
  274. > I didn't enjoy doing this, not on an emotional level.
  275. > But it would feel good, physically. It was a part of the job.
  276. > And it signified that my work with Gemstone was almost done.
  277. > She was ready to serve her owner fully, unreservedly.
  278. > All I had to do was let her prove it.
  279.  
  280. Trainee:
  281.  
  282. > The pony was delivered with a van. They were punctual, as usual. When I heard the doorbell, I put my book down and went to open the front door.
  283. > I was eager to inspect the goods.
  284. > Of course I already knew everything I needed about my newest trainee. An unicorn this time.
  285. > That meant I had received a package of pills, which would knock out her magic. I carefully read her dosage information.
  286. > Letting her almost get it back before yanking it away, was too useful a tool to pass up, despite the risk.
  287. > The pony was named Lavender Falls. Her flank sported a picture of a tea leaf. Apparently, she had worked as a simple herbalist. Soon I would give her a new profession.
  288. > She was disheveled, but then again, they always are. Heavy chains linked her fetlocks together and a thick, metal collar encircled her neck.
  289. > My documentation was incorrect. It had her color down simply as 'white', but that was not even half the story.
  290. > I didn't see it at first, but when she moved in the late afternoon sun I noticed a multichromatic sheen on her coat. The luster shifted and danced on her body, responding to the tiniest motions or wind.
  291. > The illusion she unconsciously created was as of rainbows dancing on her flanks. And in stark contrast to her glittering body, the mane and tail were pitch black.
  292. > Was she one of those fabled Crystal Ponies? That city remained the final bastion of their kind, impenetrable, mysterious.
  293. > The documents made no mention of a Crystal Pony and I felt my heart speed up at the prospect. It would be a unique experience, I was sure of it!
  294. > It also became obvious why they brought her to me. The pony was uniquely beautiful. It would make sense there would be serious money and refined taste behind her purchase. They didn't want her mangled.
  295. > But they did want her obedient. The reward was substantial.
  296. > I accepted the remote for her collar, signed the paperwork and watched the delivery men drag the horse inside. I gratefully sent them away, because I wanted to be alone for my craft.
  297. > When I closed and locked the door, I found the pony watching me warily. Defiantly.
  298. > There was also fear, but she held it in check admirably.
  299. "Let me show you to your room."
  300. > "What do you want with me?" she asked, straight to the point. But I wasn't going to answer any questions.
  301. "What is your name?"
  302. > I already knew, but I wanted the pony to say it.
  303. > "Lavender Falls."
  304. > She was expecting for me to give her my name. But that could wait.
  305. "From now on, you will answer to 'Summer'."
  306. > The mare snorted, feigning amusement. "No I won't."
  307. > I just walked past her, deeper into the house. I knew she would follow me. The uncertainty about her situation would compel her to get some answers from me.
  308. "Here's what's going to happen: I will teach you to be an obedient little pony, and the sooner you accept your place, the better it will go for you."
  309. > She walked a few paces behind, trailing me as I led her to the living room. Her chamber was just beyond.
  310. > "Like hell I will! You won't be the first who's tried."
  311. > I hid my smile. The strong-willed ones were the most fun. I opened the door to the small, barren room.
  312. "This is where you will stay when you have no instructions to the contrary."
  313. > She was getting unnerved. "Are you even listening to me?" she demanded. "I'm not going to do anything you tell me."
  314. > I turned back to look her in the face and shrugged.
  315. "Then I will hurt you until you do."
  316. > The certainty in my voice made her pause. But it was my disinterest that scared her. I fished in my pocket for the remote and held it up, so she could see.
  317. "Now, tell me your name again."
  318. > "Lavender-" she began to say but convulsed as the shock collar activated. Her word ended in a pained gasp.
  319. "Try again."
  320. > She glared pure venom at me. "Lav- GAH!" the second jolt was longer and caught her mid-word.
  321. "Again."
  322. > She was practically trembling with rage. She spat. "Buck you!"
  323. > This time it was nearly two seconds. She almost screamed, but managed to keep it down to a whimper.
  324. "You'll be dead before the batteries," I warned her. "Try again. What is your name?"
  325. > The pony didn't say anything, but I could see her struggle somewhere between rage and fear.
  326. > I waited a few seconds, then pushed the button for higher setting.
  327. > She couldn't help it this time and screamed out in pain. It took her a short while to get her breath back.
  328. > "Bastard!"
  329. "Wrong. Last chance."
  330. > "I'll NEVER submit to you monsters! You'll have to kill me first!" There was pride in her voice.
  331. > I set it to maximum and held the button down for five solid seconds. The mare fell down, convulsing on the floor and choking for air as her lungs refused to work.
  332. > She got a brief respite to suck down lungfulls of sweet air, then I zapped her once more, watching as she strained against the chains, back arching and legs flailing.
  333. > "Ple-he-hease! No! Sto-o-hop!"
  334. > This time her shriek almost hurt my ears. I held the button until she had no more breath, then released.
  335. > Impressive that she had managed to form words at all. I waited until she got her body under control again. No longer appearing strong, she was crying openly now.
  336. > "Why? Why a-are you doing th-this?" she wailed, not even attempting to stand up.
  337. > I knelt down to run a soothing hand down her neck.
  338. "What is your name?"
  339. > She just stared at me in disbelief. I help up the remote and she closed her eyes tightly shut.
  340. > "S-sum-mer."
  341. "Good. Remember that. Now follow me."
  342. > I walked into her room. When she didn't move fast enough, I gave her a small jolt. Even that was enough to make her yelp in pain now. The pony scrambled to stand up and followed me on shaky legs.
  343. > The door safely closed behind us, I led her to the middle of the room.
  344. "I will remove your chains now. There is some water for you, but you will not get food until you've earned it. We will begin in the morning."
  345. > The true magnitude of her situation was slowly sinking in and the mare didn't even move as I unlocked her restraints. I threw the metal cuffs and chain into a corner to serve as her reminder.
  346. > Then I carefully stroked her cheek and smiled. "Sleep well, Summer. You'll need your strength tomorrow."
  347.  
  348. > ~~~~
  349.  
  350. > Your name was Lavender Falls. It was very important to remember that. Ever since these monkeys had grabbed you in the ruins of Manehattan, you knew it was vital to hold on.
  351. > Defiance. That was the key. As long as ponies kept their pride, their history - *themselves* - as long as someone fought the intruders, there was hope.
  352. > And you've kept your hope burning bright. They beat you, many times, but you refused to submit.
  353. > Again and again they brought you back to the Auction and sold you, only to hurt you some more when you refused them. And all this time, you have been waiting for a chance.
  354. > A chance to escape. To rejoin your kin in the Crystal Empire. To join the fight against the monsters.
  355. > You were no soldier. But against this, you would fight. You weren't strong. You couldn't handle pain very well.
  356. > But however hard they tried, the slavers hadn't been able to take your identity. They haven't turned you into a pet.
  357. > This latest human was no different.
  358. > You tried to believe it. But after a day, you were afraid.
  359. > Lavender Falls - always remember that.
  360. > It was the last thing that was truly yours and he tried to take it away from you.
  361. > You still had trouble reading human faces, but this new slaver really frightened you. He looked at you as if you were a thing. Less than an animal.
  362. > He said he would hurt you until you submitted. You knew he meant it.
  363. > But he also said he cared for you and wanted you to be happy.
  364. > And he believed that as well.
  365. > What kind of a mind can accept those incompatible things as truth at the same time?
  366. > It was nearly morning again and you were waiting for him to come. You were dreading it.
  367. > Briefly, you glanced at your back, where the result of yesterday's 'training' still marked your skin. Ugly red welts, inflicted with a strip of leather.
  368. > The fact that you broke down and begged him to stop was deeply shameful. But you've done much worse in the past.
  369. > Submit to the moment, but keep your identity intact. There was no point in stoic denial - it only made the punishments worse.
  370. > Yes - you denied them for as long as you could. But then you submitted. Said whatever they wanted to hear. Did everything they commanded. But you kept a part of yourself locked away, where they couldn't touch it.
  371. > And once the beating was done, you took it back.
  372. > You've seen what these monsters could do. Ponies so broken that they refused to acknowledge their names. So damaged, that they enjoyed serving.
  373. > Some - the thought made you shudder - came to love their masters.
  374. > It turned your stomach. It was your greatest fear that it would happen to you, too.
  375. > That was why you never resisted too much. It was better to humble yourself today and be intact for when the chance came to escape, to fight back.
  376. > You have kept yourself sane by focusing on that goal.
  377. > This time, you were afraid.
  378. > This human knew how to deliver pain all too well. You found yourself grovelling disgustingly quickly.
  379. > He had told you his rules, then.
  380. > Do not question your Master. Do not speak out of turn. Obey every command immediately. Never complain, unless your life is in danger.
  381. > Yeah, you weren't going to do any of that. He would beat you, but you would never submit willingly. If you kept it up long enough, he would grow frustrated and return you, just like all the others.
  382. > Maybe the next owner would be the one you could escape from.
  383. > You were ready for the worst he could do.
  384. > The human made a lot of noise, at least to your sensitive ears. The human. You still didn't even know his name.
  385. > He didn't think it worth telling you. That casual attitude, that you were completely worthless. It irked you no end.
  386. > Even in the best of times you couldn't keep yourself from speaking out, which had earned you many punishments in your time with the humans.
  387. > All your thoughts fled as the door opened. The light came on, but it didn't reveal anything new. A tiny, barred window had been enough for your eyes.
  388. > Enough to see the rack of tools on a nearby wall. Whips and switches and canes of all shapes and sizes. These horrible things were right there, in your face, keeping you from sleep.
  389. > You even considered using them against the slaver. But you quickly remembered your collar. Even if you got in a lucky hit or two, the consequences would be worse.
  390. > They were just another way to mock you.
  391. > And there was the human. Your owner, however bitter the thought. You kept your mouth shut.
  392. > If you didn't speak, he couldn't punish you for it.
  393. > You kept your eyes on him. He was well-built and muscular, you had to admit that. Not an ounce of fat or softness anywhere on his body.
  394. > He was clean shaved with a dark brown mane. Hair, you've heard it called.
  395. > His mouth turned up into a lifeless smile.
  396. > "Good morning, Summer," he cooed. If you hadn't seen his eyes, you might have though he sounded happy.
  397. > You just looked away, refusing even to acknowledge his presence.
  398. > The lash came unexpectedly. You hadn't even seen the riding crop in his hand. The sudden pain made you whimper before you could control yourself.
  399. > Your head snapped back, watching the human warily. He raised his arm again and brought it down, but this time you were ready.
  400. > Despite the red-hot line across your barrel, you stayed silent.
  401. > Then the beating came in earnest. Blow after blow in rapid succession.
  402. > "Speak. When. You. Are. Spoken. To," the human grunted after each strike.
  403. > Too soon it was more than you could handle.
  404. "Please stop!"
  405. > He paused, watching you intently. You scrambled to remember what he wanted. It was hard to force the words out through the haze of pain, but you did it anyway.
  406. "Good morning."
  407. > It wasn't enough. He was raising his arm again.
  408. "Master! Good morning, Master!"
  409. > The word made you sick and left a foul taste in your mouth. But you just hung your head in shame and waited for the burning to recede.
  410. > His hand was in your mane and you flinched away.
  411. > The human placed the end of the riding crop against your chin and touched you again with his other hand. This time you didn't dare move away, but you still averted your eyes.
  412. > "Good, that wasn't so hard, was it? In time it will come naturally to you."
  413. > He straightened up, removing his hand, which made you breathe out in relief.
  414. > "Are you hungry?"
  415. > You briefly considered staying silent, but you didn't want a repeat of the earlier performance. Not so soon.
  416. "No,"
  417. > you lied, refusing to let yourself accept anything this human gave you. You hadn't even touched the water, despite the burning thirst.
  418. > "I don't appreciate being lied to. That will be today's lesson."
  419. > With mounting horror you saw him pull a length of rope from the rack on the wall. He stood over you.
  420. > "Get up," he barked.
  421. > You stayed put, mostly out of defiance, but also partly because of your fear.
  422. > He didn't hit you for disobedience. He just dropped to his knees and reached for your foreleg.
  423. > This was your chance. You kicked at his face with all your might.
  424. > The human was expecting you to do that. Faster than you thought possible, he moved out of the way and grabbed your hoof. You tried to bring your back legs into play, but he just twisted his hand, nearly pulling your appendage out of its socket.
  425. "Aaah, stop!"
  426. > It hurt. You couldn't hold the cry back. An inch further, you felt, and your leg would break.
  427. > He held you for long seconds, until he was convinced you wouldn't try and kick again. You didn't dare, not after seeing his speed and strength.
  428. > You let him tie the rope to both your forelegs. Then he passed it through a large iron ring in the ceiling and pulled.
  429. > The knots were tight and you were lifted painfully upright. The human didn't stop until you were balancing precariously on your hind legs.
  430. > It wasn't a comfortable position and you knew it would tire you quickly.
  431. > But you would stick it out for as long as you were able.
  432. > You heard the human move behind you and you craned your neck to look. Your heart leapt into your throat when you saw him picking out a large cane.
  433. > Surely he wouldn't?
  434. > The thought was knocked from your mind as the strike landed with a dull thud. It took a second for the pain to grab hold.
  435. > Your mind reeled from the deep impact. You were sure your ribs had broken and you couldn't hold back a cry.
  436. > You thrashed, pulling on your bound forelegs, stretching muscles and tendons in directions they weren't meant to go.
  437. > "Apologise," the monster with the stick demanded.
  438. > You wanted to, Celestia help you. You weren't sure you could take any more hits like that.
  439. > Submit now and defy later, you remembered.
  440. > But something made you clench your jaw shut, despite the tears that were now flowing freely down your face.
  441. > He walked around you and swung. It landed in your stomach and you howled, trying to twist up around the knot of pain.
  442. > Your back legs slid from under you, leaving your entire weight hanging on the rope. Your shoulders were agony, but nothing compared to your belly.
  443. > It took you several seconds before you could breathe again.
  444. > There was real pleading in your voice. You knew this monster had no sympathy, but you had to try.
  445. "How can you d-do this? Please, for the love of-"
  446. > He had removed a black object from a pocket and held it against the welt on your stomach. It sparked, like the shock collar, only a thousand times worse.
  447. > You felt the lightning rip through you, reawakening the pain of his strike and adding more on top of that.
  448. > It was impossible even to scream, all you could do was feebly open and close your mouth.
  449. > You didn't even feel your bladder release.
  450. > As you fought for breath, the human brought the terrible device up and placed it under your chin. He used it to lift your face up until you were looking in his eyes.
  451. > "I don't enjoy this, Summer. But you have to learn to obey. Now apologise."
  452. > You had no more fight in you. You hung limply from the rope, urine dripping down your legs. You said what your tormentor wanted to hear.
  453. "I'm sorry."
  454. > The iron prods of the device pushed further into your chin.
  455. "I'M SORRY, MASTER!"
  456. > The human smiled at you as you began to cry. "Now, let's hear the truth. Are you hungry?"
  457. "Yes... Master."
  458. > You remembered just in time, hating yourself for doing so. You kept your eyes tightly shut as the human lowered you to the floor. Your legs couldn't hold you, but you didn't fall.
  459. > The man caught you and helped you stand. His grip was firm, but gentle.
  460. > "Come now, let's go get you some breakfast, Summer," he said, softly.
  461. > Had you not seen him a moment ago, you would have thought him the kindest human in the world.
  462. > There was no choice but to follow as he led you out of the room.
  463. > How quickly you complied. No other before him had been able to inflict such pain, so fast.
  464. > For the first time since your capture you began to fear you were never going home.
  465.  
  466. > ~~~~
  467.  
  468. > The cereal seemed like cardboard in my mouth. I ate mechanically, failing to derive any enjoyment out of the act. My mind was elsewhere.
  469. > I remembered Gemstone. Sweet, obedient Gemstone.
  470. > In the photo before me, she was smiling while a little girl all but hung from her neck. There were a man and a woman in the background, but I didn't really see them.
  471. > My focus was on my little pony. I had been true to my word. Gemstone went to a good home and I knew she was happy.
  472. > It said as much under the picture.
  473. > "Thank you, Master!" crudely written in crayon.
  474. > Every strike with the riding crop - justified in my mind. Every harsh word. Each moment of fear and misery.
  475. > It had been worth it. That was what her smile told me.
  476.  
  477. > But even the simple pride of accomplishment soured. I balled up my fist and hit the table in frustration. The plate rattled, bringing me back into the real world.
  478. > Why, couldn't I do the same for Summer?
  479. > Whereas Gemstone was punished and learned from it, Summer refused to do so.
  480. > The same thing every time. I could not forget her failure - and my own. The images bubbled up into my consciousness.
  481. > ~
  482. > “Stop, please… Master! I’ll- I’ll obey!” she would inevitably cry, forcing the words out between choking sobs.
  483. > She was pressing herself to the floor, submissive, broken. I became aware that my knuckles were stinging and red.
  484. > I had gone too far, again. That had never happened to me with the others. I used to have more control over myself.
  485. > It was distasteful and I couldn’t stand to be around the creature any longer. I walked away as Summer continued to cry.
  486. > ~
  487. > Despite everything I had done, Summer would always bounce back. Every day it felt as if we began anew.
  488. > My breakfast forgotten, I dragged myself over to the couch and flopped down. I ran a hand through my hair and tried to make sense of it.
  489. > What was so different about this one?
  490. > Other ponies had done as much, but never for this long. It had been two months since I got her and the pony still resisted me.
  491. > I didn't like the anger she made me feel. The inadequacy. Sometimes it seemed as if she was mocking me.
  492. > Was this defiance a trait all Crystal Ponies possessed, or was it unique to this one?
  493. "Summer!"
  494. > My voice was harsh, impatient.
  495. > When she didn't appear, I went to look for her. Her door was open, but Summer never came when I called her.
  496. > I remembered when I saw her. The bruises all over her back. The red lines on her hind legs where the whip had split her skin. The black eye that stared balefully at me.
  497. > In my memory, I heard her desperate screaming for mercy.
  498. > It had gone too far again. I barely recognised the person I had been last night..
  499. > Summer must have seen something in my face, because she crawled away, whimpering.
  500. > I could not help but contrast this pony to Gemstone. I had never lost control with my previous trainees.
  501. > Gemstone I punished for a reason. I had always been in control.
  502. > It was not a pleasant thought. I didn't like failure. The things this pony made me feel were wrong.
  503. > I decided to lay off the stick for a while and focus on the carrot, instead.
  504. > Without a single word, I left Summer alone and returned to the kitchen. It was well stocked and I had everything I needed.
  505. > I wasn't much of a cook, but this salad was both easy and quite popular with ponies. I had made it a few times as a special reward and it had always been well received.
  506. > For the final touch, I poured a glass of pineapple juice. Then I took the tray to Summer's room.
  507. > There were no tables, so I simply placed it on the ground and sat down beside it. The pony watched me warily.
  508. > "What now?" she asked, warily, no doubt resigned to some new punishment. She was keeping her eyes on the floor.
  509. "I thought we would try something different today."
  510. > Her eyes narrowed as her gaze shifted to me. She saw the tray, but frowned with distrust. She was expecting some kind of a trick.
  511. > "I'm not hungry," she said. I could tell it was a test. Every time she had lied to me, I used the taser on her.
  512. "Then I'll just wait here until you are."
  513. > She didn't reply as she laid her head down on her hooves. But she kept her eyes on me.
  514. "I know I've been hard on you, Summer. But I only want what's best for you."
  515. > She rolled her eyes, but I ignored it. I had promised myself: no punishment today. I needed to see it through, maybe just to prove that I could.
  516. "I know you've been hurt and starved. Sent from place to place because you wouldn't obey. That's all I'm trying to teach you. It isn't so bad, Summer. If you submit, accept your place, I will make sure you have a good home."
  517. > Still no reply.
  518. "Trust me - I've sent many ponies to good homes. To kind masters. And I hear back from them. They really are happy."
  519. > The photo from Gemstone was forefront in my mind.
  520. > "As pets!" Summer snapped, unable to control her tongue. Her eyes widened slightly and her mouth clamped shut in fear. She expected punishment for that outburst.
  521. > When it didn't arrive, she relaxed a little.
  522. "True, but it's not a bad life. You'll be well cared-for, fed and safe. Everything you need will be provided. It's better than the alternative."
  523. > "I'd rather die," she said, growing bolder.
  524. > It was too much for me. I felt the rage rise up again. But I refused to yield to it completely.
  525. "You know what? I'll show you that!"
  526. > I was sure she could hear the tremor in my voice.
  527. > The laptop was on the kitchen table. I fetched it and brought to into Summer's room. I started a movie clip and placed the screen in front of the pony, so she could see.
  528. > It was a learning aid, though not one I was proud of. Normally, I didn't show it to my trainees until they were further along. They needed a sympathetic shoulder to cry on after seeing it.
  529. "If you want to die, this is how it will happen, Summer."
  530. > The scene was burned into my memory. A dark red pony was tied to a bed, lying on her back. Her fearful whimpers turned to cries and begging as a human entered the room.
  531. > Summer was staring with wide eyes, her lips beginning to tremble. She knew it wouldn't end well.
  532. > These things are whispered among the ponies at auctions, but I think they all pretend it's just a legend.
  533. > To see it actually happen was different.
  534. > Pretty soon, Summer's face was wet with tears, but she could not look away.
  535. > "Please, no more, please, no more. PLEASE, Master. Stop, I'm sorry," the earthy mare in the movie was begging, out of breath. It soon devolved into another scream of agony.
  536. > Her tormentor laughed. I knew the next part. It was too horrible, even for me.
  537. > I usually stopped the film at this point. But my hand paused as I remembered Summer's insolence. I let it run.
  538. > The human in the film had a mask, because what he was doing was illegal. Even slaves had rights.
  539. > More than that - it was wrong.
  540. > I watched Summer's face closely. She was shaking her head from side to side, as she watched the scene unfold. The terror was firmly etched into her face.
  541. > There was the sound of a match being lit, then a low hiss. The pony's pleading became urgent.
  542. > "No, no, no, no, please don't. PLEASE MASTER! I'll do anything, please don't do this. NO!"
  543. > Her cries were almost echoed by Summer. "Please, sweet Celestia, no!" she moaned, barely above a whisper.
  544. > The voice in the video became incoherent babbling, rising in urgency and terror as the hiss went on.
  545. > The fuse on the firecracker was long, all the better to drive up her terror as she watched it burn.
  546. > Beatings were one thing, but that was inhuman.
  547. > I winced at the bang and saw that Summer had her eyes tightly shut. Her whole body was trembling, violently.
  548. > Then the screaming started.
  549. > Summer put her hooves over her ears and whimpered. She made the mistake of looking.
  550. > Her pupils shrank to pinpricks and she shuddered. Her breath caught in her throat and she pushed herself away.
  551. > She tried to speak, but all that came out was a choked squeak before she threw up. It came out in a stream across her hooves and chest.
  552. > And still she couldn't avert her eyes.
  553. > The sight and the memory combined made me feel me sick as well. I quickly pushed the laptop closed, stopping the video and, more importantly, silencing it.
  554. > I pulled it away from the puddle of vomit.
  555. > She couldn't speak, but I saw it all in her eyes.
  556. "That is how disobedient ponies die, Summer."
  557. > My voice was steady, much to my own surprise. I had seen that part only once before and it had been enough. Just listening to it was bad.
  558. > I immediately regretted showing it to her.
  559. > More than that, I rued being reminded of it. There were tears in my own eyes and I was grateful Summer didn't seem to notice.
  560. > Nothing - no one - deserved that!
  561. > The pony before me finally stirred. She began to weep, openly and unashamed. When I leaned over to put my hand on her head, she didn't pull away.
  562. > Her vomit stank. I couldn’t leave her like that.
  563. "Come, let's get you cleaned up."
  564. > I had to carry her to the bathroom, but Summer didn't resist in the slightest.
  565. > As I sat her in the shower she finally focused her eyes on me with burning intensity.
  566. > "Why?" she demanded in a quiet, broken voice. "Why would anyone do this? Monsters..."
  567. > She couldn't finish the thought. I put my hand back in her mane, trying to find an answer.
  568. "I don't know, Summer. I don't understand, either. But that's the fate I'm trying to prevent for you. I don't want my little ponies to suffer like that."
  569. > There was no way to tell if she believed me. But I knew she wouldn't ever be able to forget what she had seen..
  570. > "What-" she tried to ask, but a hiccup interrupted her. "What was her name?"
  571. "I don't know."
  572. > She slumped and I had to hold her upright. "I don't want thiiiiis," she wailed. "I want to go hoooome!"
  573. > With the floodgates opened, I knew she had taken an important step. It might have been an accident, but for the first time I felt Summer had made some progress.
  574. “Summer?”
  575. > She looked up for me and I felt a slight thrill of victory. She had reacted to the name.
  576. “If you do as I say, you’ll never have to go through it.”
  577. > The pony just wailed louder and wrapped her hooves around my arm. I was the only person there. In desperation, she took comfort from my presence.
  578. > I knew it would be hours before she cried herself out. I took the showerhead, turned it away and started the water. When it was warm enough, I carefully started washing her.
  579. > Something about the act - the warmth and the gentle contact - was very therapeutic.
  580. > She barely registered my ministrations, even when my hand passed over her welts and cuts. She didn't seem to care when I dried her and brought her to the couch.
  581. > But she was aware that I sat with her, gently stroking her mane with my hand as she cried.
  582.  
  583. > ~~~~
  584.  
  585. > Your world has fallen away from you.
  586. > There was no moving past this. Days later, the horror of what you have seen still haunted your every waking moment.
  587. > Every time you closed your eyes you saw it. And in the night, you heard the screams.
  588. > You could not fight this. It was foolish to try. No pony could ever have conceived of such monstrosity.
  589. > You gave up. You were barely aware of the world around you. Hunger and thirst and discomfort simply became meaningless.
  590. > There was a faint, distant surprise that you weren't beaten when you refused to eat. Sometimes the human even comforted you in the night, when a nightmare woke you.
  591. > You wanted to hate him. For beating you and for showing you that evil thing. But in those moments you took comfort, because you desperately needed it.
  592. > But what you needed the most was an end. You wanted to die.
  593. > You were barely aware of your owner talking to you. Sometimes you even felt yourself reply. But you could never recall the conversations. Not that you even tried.
  594. > He let you sleep on the couch, even brought you a pillow and a blanket. He often sat with you and ran his fingers through your mane and down your back.
  595. > He offered you food.
  596. > When you didn't accept it, he put small pieces in your mouth. Tasty morsels of fruit, or fresh, crisp leaves of lettuce. You weren't even aware of chewing.
  597. > He fed you sips of water and juice, holding your head up until you swallowed.
  598. > Sometimes you almost felt as if he truly cared for you. A rational part of your mind told you that it was a lie. He fed you because you were valuable to him. A possession, nothing more.
  599. > But in the depth of your sorrow, you grasped for more.
  600. > Maybe he wasn't completely bad? Maybe, in his own, twisted way, your master really believed he was doing good by breaking you?
  601. > Maybe all his beatings had a purpose?
  602. > Would it really be so bad if you submitted?
  603. > But you couldn't stop the hatred.
  604. > There were too many memories.
  605. > The lash of his whips. The blows of his sticks. Your blood dripping from his fist.
  606. > You couldn't let him have your name.
  607. > Lavender Falls. That was too important. That was who you are, not this 'Summer' he was trying to make you into.
  608. > You remembered the hours of punishment, as you fervently repeated the mantra.
  609. > "I am Lavender. Remember! Remember, Lavender! He can't take it. He can't have it!"
  610. > Sometimes, you couldn't even think through the pain. In those moments, all you had was your thundering heartbeat.
  611. > It was like a clock, reassuring. For as long as it ran, you knew who you were.
  612. > Lavender Falls.
  613. > As long as you remembered that, you had a choice. As long as you had a choice, you were free.
  614. > ...
  615.  
  616. > It was the middle of the night and you woke up from another nightmare.
  617. > The human was not with you. For a second, you wished he was there. You were afraid of the dreams.
  618. > Your face was already wet with tears and the blanket was soaked with your sweat.
  619. > The human had done this to you. He had showed you the monstrosity that now consumed you.
  620. > You squeezed your eyes tightly shut and took deep breaths. You didn’t want the anger, but it came anyway.
  621. > It felt as if the evil from the act you witnessed had somehow taken root in your heart.
  622. > That wasn't you. That wasn't Lavender!
  623. > The hatred was as much an enemy as the human. Both tried to change you into something you were not.
  624. > But the rage was succeeding.
  625. > You felt the bile rise up even as you fought to keep it down. This darkness was stronger than you.
  626. > How dare the human do this to you!
  627. > The part of you that was still Lavender remembered the red mare.
  628. > It only made it worse. The sorrow and the anger mixed, feeding each other.
  629. > You tried to focus on your breathing, tried to slow your heart. You couldn't keep it down.
  630. > The scream came out of nowhere, a cry of frustration, fear and anger.
  631. > There were no words in it, just primal emotion.
  632. > You felt it course through you, making each hair in your coat stand up. It made you both hot and cold as it ran from the tip of your muzzle to the base of your tail and back.
  633. > It all came to a point in your horn.
  634. > The feeling was familiar, but one you had not felt in a long while.
  635. > You closed your eyes and pushed it all out.
  636. > There was a flash of light and you felt the magic fill you up.
  637. > But you couldn't control it. It poured out of you, taking with it the rage, the turmoil, leaving you empty.
  638. > A chair rose up and shot away, smashing to pieces against a wall.
  639. > Your breath caught. For a moment, you could hardly understand what had happened.
  640. > Was that… you?
  641. > But your magic was gone, suppressed by the pills. You distinctly remembered swallowing them not a few hours ago.
  642. > It was not possible. But the splinters on the floor proved it.
  643. > You fell back down to your pillow, exhausted. Empty.
  644. > No… not empty. Something new was there.
  645. > The glow of your magic, which you hadn't felt ever since the humans had captured you. It was back.
  646. > You quickly reached for it, afraid it would go away once again.
  647. > Your horn began to glow and you experimentally levitated another chair.
  648. > It slowly rotated in the air before you as you watched it in wonder.
  649. > There was a noise and you remembered the human. He had heard the crash and was coming down.
  650. > With a small gasp you realize what this meant. This was the chance you had been waiting for.
  651. > You didn’t know how it had happened, or why. But it was a welcome gift. You would escape from Tartarus, at last!
  652. > But the anger was still there. It rose up, unbidden. The hardship, the beatings, the horror of slavery. It was all still there.
  653. > With every memory your heartbeat quickened.
  654. > You had to do something, or the blind rage would drive you insane. Simply to escape was no longer enough.
  655. > Tonight, you would take revenge. Revenge for yourself and for the nameless red mare who had died before your eyes.
  656.  
  657. > ~~~~
  658.  
  659. > A loud crash woke me up. I dressed quickly but quietly. My first thought was intruders - maybe someone trying to rob me.
  660. > I wondered why Summer hadn't made a sound. With a surprise I realized that I was worried for the pony.
  661. > And it wasn't about the money I would lose if something happened to her. It was genuine concern.
  662. > Spending time with someone without beating them would do that, I guessed. I had talked with Summer more in the past few days than I had in the months previously.
  663. > The pony had grown on me, despite her depression. Or maybe because of it. I had begun to see her as a person, rather than a slave.
  664. > Those feelings would have to wait, though. I crept down the stairs, wishing I had a gun or something. Other than kitchen knives and the whips and sticks, I had no real weapons in the house.
  665. > Fortunately, the moon was out so I didn't have to turn on any lights. That would give me a slight advantage if there were robbers in my house.
  666. > I paused before entering the kitchen. Everything was silent now and I couldn't see any movement.
  667. > Could the noise have a simple explanation? A chair toppling over, or a plate falling from the table? Maybe Summer had bumped into something and now she was silent because she was afraid of punishment?
  668. > It might have been my imagination, I conceded, as I quietly walked through the kitchen and peered into the living room.
  669. > I started to feel silly. There was no one there. Even in the gloom I could see the room was empty of intruders.
  670. > Since I was already up, I decided to check on Summer. I flicked the light switch.
  671. > She wasn't on the couch.
  672. > And then I saw the wall. And what was left of the chair.
  673. > Not my imagination, then. But what could have done that?
  674. > The guest room was open, so I went to look for her there.
  675. "Summer, where are you? Everything okay?"
  676. > I stopped talking when I saw her. She was standing in the middle of the bare room, a glowing length of rope suspended in the air above her.
  677. > I could clearly see the light of magic around her horn.
  678. "How in the hell-"
  679. > I didn't even finish my sentence before my legs were tied and yanked from under me. I tried to catch myself on my arms, but I still hit the floor with my head.
  680. > My breath left me with a grunt as my vision swam. But Summer didn't rest. I felt my arms pulled behind me and bound together.
  681. "Stop!"
  682. > Of course she didn't listen. I caught a glimpse of her face, frowning in concentration as she secured the rope. Her eyes were narrowed and focused. The pony intended to escape.
  683. > She flipped me on my side and approached.
  684. "What the hell are you doing, Summer?"
  685. > Her mouth twisted and the mare glared at me in anger.
  686. > "Same thing you did to me!" she said. "And my name is Lavender Falls!"
  687. > Only then did I realize the amount of trouble I was in. For some reason, this pony had all her magic. That gave her a big advantage. My only hope was her collar, which she hadn't been able to remove.
  688. > But the remote was all the way up in my bedroom. With Summer's recent depression, I hadn't even considered rebellion as the cause of the noise which woke me up.
  689. > I tried to relax and think. I was stronger than the pony. All I needed was one good shot when she wasn't expecting it.
  690. > First, she had to come closer, within my reach.
  691. "Okay, okay. Lavender, if you insist. Look, let's talk about this."
  692. > She turned her attention to the rack of tools on the wall.
  693. > "I'm done talking... Master," she said. That last word was all but dripping with sarcasm.
  694. > It wasn't easy to keep my voice calm.
  695. "Don't do this. I'm warning, you, Summer!"
  696. > I realized I had used the wrong name when she brought the whip around, scowling in anger.
  697. > Luckily, the pony didn't have much experience wielding it, so the lash she landed on my side didn't particularly hurt.
  698. > But I was still shocked. The very fact that she dared to hit me was deeply worrying. It showed me how little I had progressed in her training.
  699. > Summer changed her grip and tried again. This time, her strike had more effect. I couldn't keep myself from grunting in pain.
  700. "Last chance. Stop now and I won't punish you for this."
  701. > She stared at me in surprise. Then she raised her voice. "You're done punishing me!"
  702. > Another lash. This one really hurt. Were it not for my clothes, it would have split the skin. I resolutely kept my mouth clamped shut, but I couldn't keep silent. It came out as a stifled moan.
  703. > "Doesn't feel very nice, does it?" the pony shouted, raising her weapon again.
  704. > She had stepped closer to yell at me. I kept my cool and squirmed around, trying to maneuver myself into a better position. It was awkward with my hands tied behind my back, but I managed to sit up.
  705. "What's the endgame here, Summer? You beat me up and break out. Then what?"
  706. > She paused, lowering the whip slightly as she thought about it. "I'll go back to Equestria."
  707. "You don't even know where the portals are. Even if you found them, you'd never get through. And that's if they don't catch you before."
  708. > The pony refused to believe it. She raised the whip again. "They can't take me! I have my magic back now!"
  709. "Then they'll just shoot you from a distance."
  710. > It was obviously a sore point. "Shut up!" she yelled. "Just shut up, you bastard!"
  711. > Her strike landed across my back, but she didn't swing it right. It stung, but nothing more.
  712. > I shuffled away from her, feigning fear and pain.
  713. "Please, just stop! We can work something out."
  714. > She advanced on me, holding her weapon poised above.
  715. > "No! All you've done is hurt me. All *any* human has done is hurt me! I don't believe a word you say!"
  716. > She spun the whip and delivered a good, solid blow to my back.
  717. > "You tried to make me into a pet!"
  718. > Another lash and another step closer. I groaned, unable to hold it back.
  719. > "You tried to take my NAME!" She timed her strike with the last word.
  720. > I didn't have to feign being hurt anymore. That last hit made me cry out in pain.
  721. > I saw that the pony was almost close enough. She wasn't paying attention and her eyes were full of tears.
  722. > I looked upward, my eyes seemingly plastered to the weapon she was still holding in her magic.
  723. "I'm sorry, Lavender."
  724. > I said that very quietly, hoping she would unconsciously approach to hear better.
  725. > It worked! She took another step forward and cocked her head sideways, bringing an ear closer to my mouth.
  726. > "What?" she asked, unsure if she had really heard me apologise.
  727. > It was my chance. I brought my head down against hers as hard as I could, taking just enough aim to avoid her horn. The impact nearly stunned me, but it knocked her out.
  728. > The whip clattered against the floor as the pony crumpled. I waited until my vision stopped swimming, then I looked at her.
  729. > I watched until I saw her chest move. She was still alive, sprawled unconscious on the floor.
  730. > I didn't know how long she would stay that way, so I had to hurry.
  731. > I couldn't walk very well with my feet bound together, so I half-crawled, half-dragged myself to the kitchen.
  732. > After a few false starts, I managed to drag myself upright against the drawer. The rope around my wrists wasn't too tight, so I was able to fish a knife out of a drawer and cut it.
  733. > I paused when I heard a groan from the guest room. The pony was waking up.
  734. > Her magic would make short work of me, and I knew I wouldn't be able to pull the same trick again. I quickly sliced the ties around my feet.
  735. > Going back to restrain the pony wouldn't do much good against her spells. As far as I knew, she didn't need to move in order to cast them. My only chance was the shock collar on its highest setting.
  736. > It should make it impossible for her to concentrate. If all else failed, it would knock her out until I figured out what to do about her magic.
  737. > The remote was upstairs, on my night stand. I hurried to fetch it.
  738.  
  739. > ~~~~
  740.  
  741. > Your head was killing you. You opened your eyes and tried to find out what had happened.
  742. > Thoughts seem to flow sluggishly and your vision was blurry. Did the human go into another one of his rages and beat you again?
  743. > The sight of the whip next to you brought back your memories.
  744. > The human was gone! That almost sent you into a panic. If he found a weapon before you could subdue him again you would be in deep trouble.
  745. > There was no going back from what you did. The punishment would be swift and brutal. And you would never have another chance to escape!
  746. > You ignored the pounding in your head and struggled upright. The human was walking up the stairs, undoubtedly to fetch the remote for your hated collar.
  747. > There was no way for you to remove it. You didn't know any spell powerful enough to break metal and you hadn't been able to figure out how to unlock the clasp with the limited time you had.
  748. > You had to be fast.
  749. > A whip or a stick wouldn't do, not anymore. With a sickening feeling in your stomach you realized you would have to use something worse. An actual weapon.
  750. > Remembering the knives in the kitchen, you hurried there.
  751. > You found one next to the cut pieces of rope on the floor. It took you a few tries to make your magic work again, but finally the azure light surrounded your horn and the weapon floated up.
  752. > It was almost too late. The human was already on his way back, so you quickly hid under the table.
  753. > That shouldn't have worked, but your owner ran past you, thinking you were still in your chamber. He stopped at the threshold to the living room to peer carefully around the door frame.
  754. > You knew you'd never be able to sneak up on him, not with the noise your hooves made on the floor tiles. It was now or never.
  755. > All you had to do was push the knife into his body.
  756. > Then you would be free. It was so simple.
  757. > But you would be a murderer. However justified, the thought filled you with revulsion and horror.
  758. > Frantically, you tried to think of another way.
  759. > His hand! If you wounded it, he wouldn't be able to use the remote for your collar. You wouldn't kill him, and he would be distracted, giving you time to escape.
  760. > As soon as you had thought of it, you made the knife fly. But the human apparently heard something, because he turned at the last second.
  761. > The blade sliced his fingers and he dropped the device with a cry.
  762. > That was your chance to hold him with your magic! You tried, but a splitting headache made you moan in pain. The spell fizzled out.
  763. > Too big, Lavender! Think smaller!
  764. > Out of ideas, you grabbed the knife again and brought it back into the human's field of vision. He froze, eyeing the blade which hovered inches before his face.
  765. > You saw his other hand creeping toward the remote.
  766. "Touch it and I'll do it!"
  767. > But you didn't really believe it and neither did the human. "You're bluffing!" he said. But his hand had stopped.
  768. > You tried to reach your earlier state of anger again but it was gone, replaced by terror. Now you just wanted to get away.
  769. "Try me!"
  770. > For a moment, your grip on the knife wavered. It dipped, the magic flickering, before you reasserted control.
  771. > The human sneered at you. "You can't keep it up much longer. I don't know how you got your magic with those pills in your belly, but it looks like it's going away again."
  772. > The thought made you cold all over. You felt it was true. The knife was slipping again and you had to focus harder to keep it in the air.
  773. "I'll stab you before I lose it!"
  774. > You had screamed that out hysterically. This time he took you seriously, if only because he thought you insane.
  775. > He fixed you with a look you couldn't interpret. "So, what do we do now?"
  776. > You were in way over your head. Now that you knew you couldn't kill your captor, what was there to do?
  777. > Maybe, with luck, you could escape. But you had believed the human. They would just catch you again. You didn't know their world. You couldn't hide for long or run very far.
  778. > And you had no idea how to get home. You didn't even know where it was.
  779. > If they caught you, they would probably bring you back to your owner. And then the beatings would start again, worse than ever.
  780. > Or they might just kill you outright.
  781. > You suddenly realized you no longer wanted to die.
  782. > Tears were already forcing themselves into your eyes. You didn't have a plan. It had been a miracle you got this far.
  783. > But the human always knew what to do. Even when you had him at your mercy before, he had outsmarted you.
  784. > It was just a matter of time before he subdued you again.
  785. > Besides, you were a coward and a hypocrite. All that time while you had been waiting for your chance to escape, you swore you'd return to the Crystal Empire and fight the humans.
  786. > Now was your shot. This human was at your mercy. All you had to do was apply a little force and you would be free.
  787. > Even if you died trying to return home, you would at least go out fighting. You'd be free.
  788. > But you couldn't kill. And now, you had made yourself too scared to escape.
  789. > You were pathetic. A weakling. You had run away once before - from your life in the Crystal Empire. That had gotten you captured by the humans.
  790. > Ironically, this time your fear kept you from running, keeping you a prisoner.
  791. > Your breath caught and you tried very hard not to cry. The knife almost slipped from your grasp. Soon, it would fall and you would be at the human's mercy again.
  792. > In desperation, you left the perceived safety of the table and approached your owner.
  793. "Take my collar off."
  794. > It was hard to make your voice commanding, but you managed.
  795. > The human hesitated.
  796. "Remove my collar or I'll kill you!"
  797. > "Okay, okay, if you insist," he said quickly.
  798. > At least that would remove the immediate threat of the collar. Once your magic failed, the human would undoubtedly put the hated thing back on your neck, but there was no way to prevent that.
  799. > And then he would make sure you could never use magic again.
  800. > You had heard stories of unicorns with their horns cut off.
  801. > The knife touched his skin as a warning. The human was really careful as he reached around the device.
  802. > He fiddled with the clasp and you stood stock still as you waited.
  803. > The clank as it hit the floor was like a lead weight falling from your heart. Even if it was just a symbol, even if it was temporary, for a few moments you were free.
  804. > You reveled in the feeling, knowing you would probably never get it back.
  805. > "Now what?" the human asked, disturbing your reverie.
  806. > An idea came to mind. It was stupid and unworkable. But you were desperate and it was worth a shot.
  807. "Promise me- promise you'll never use it on me again. And the taser, too! Swear it!"
  808. > You peered into his eyes. You hoped to Celestia you were right and there was a tiny bit of decency left in this human.
  809. > Maybe you had just imagined it when he fed you and sat with you over the past few days. But you couldn't let that hope die. It was all you had left.
  810. > Resistance had failed. Even your magic was failing. But maybe you could find kindness in your captor, if you looked?
  811. > He watched you for long seconds, studying your expression. You were afraid he would laugh at how pathetic you were.
  812. > Holding the knife up had become a strain, but you gritted your teeth and kept it still.
  813. > Finally, he blinked. "Okay. I promise. No more taser. No more shock collar."
  814. > And the final thing. The most important.
  815. "And you'll call me Lavender."
  816. > Again, he hesitated before inclining his head slightly. He couldn't nod with the knife on his throat.
  817. "Swear it!"
  818. > "I swear... Lavender," he said slowly.
  819. > You let the weapon drop. The magic slipped away and you knew you wouldn't be able to reach it again.
  820. > It was the moment of truth.
  821. > And you couldn't hold back your tears anymore. You had come tantalizingly close to your freedom. But you had discovered that you were unwilling to do what it takes.
  822. > It had been an emotional roller coaster of elation, fear and despair. The adrenaline had left you weak, trembling.
  823. > You almost didn't feel the human wrap his arms around you and pull you close.
  824. > After an eternity, you pushed away and looked at his face.
  825. > He wasn't angry.
  826. "You never told me your name."
  827. > It was a stupid point to make, but after having gone to so much trouble to keep yours, you really wanted to know his.
  828. > "Anon."
  829. > You made yourself believe it was progress.
  830. "Are you going to beat me now?"
  831. > He thought about it. His eyes went down to the discarded collar and the knife beside it.
  832. > "No." He seemed to be lost in thought, so you just waited.
  833. > "I tried beating you. I tried breaking you with force. Nothing has worked."
  834. "So you'll give me to someone to kill? Like in that-"
  835. > The memory choked you up but you pushed past it and swallowed.
  836. "Like in the movie?"
  837. > He shook his head and ran his hand down your mane. It was a soothing gesture and you appreciated it, despite who was giving it.
  838. > "No. I wasn't lying when I said no one deserved that. I don't want you - or any pony - to end up like that."
  839. > "But you have to understand, Summer," he paused and corrected himself. "Lavender. You either learn to obey and serve some human, or you're dead. The best you could hope for is to be someone's pet."
  840. "I don't want to be a pet. I don't want to be a slave, Anon."
  841. > "There's also labor camps. But that's even worse than a snuff film. A much slower death."
  842. "I want to go home."
  843. > For a moment you saw longing in his face. Sympathy, even. But it faded quickly. "That's impossible, Lavender. We're still technically at war. No one but the military can even get near."
  844. > The tears came again, unbidden. You hung your head and let them flow, dripping on the floor. There was nothing more you could say.
  845. > You knew the training would go on. Anon had said as much. Even if he let you keep your name, there was no choice. Either you would break and become an obedient little slave, or you would die horribly.
  846. > The thought made you sick. And your head was still hurting.
  847. "I want to be alone."
  848. > His hands fell away from your head. You saw that his fingers were still dripping blood where you had cut him. You leaned down and began to lick them clean.
  849. > The human just waited until you were done. Then you backed away and went to your room. Anon didn't follow you.
  850. > You choose the bed this time. You didn't feel like sleeping the cold, hard floor tonight. What was the point, anyway?
  851. > Tomorrow, you would be just as much a slave, regardless of how you slept.
  852. > Would the collar come back on? Or would Anon keep his promises?
  853. > If he did, could he be reasoned with further?
  854. > How could you make a compromise like that? Obey all commands like a good slave and in return he wouldn't beat you as hard and he'd let you keep your name?
  855. > It was a bucked-up world.
  856. > You got rid of the metal collar, like you had dreamed. But underneath, you found another noose, this one made from your fear.
  857.  
  858. > ~~~~
  859.  
  860. > I couldn't sleep that night, so I just sat on the couch. My thoughts kept racing in circles. The fact that Summer had stopped before sticking me with the knife weighed heavily on my mind.
  861. > There was no real affection between us, I knew that. But it felt as if the pony had showed me respect, at least. Maybe after that experience she would open up to me.
  862. > She hadn't escaped when she had the chance. I couldn't understand why. I hadn't lied to her - sooner or later she would be hunted down and brought back.
  863. > But I had been expecting her to risk it rather than remain a slave, especially after how hard she had resisted.
  864. > The pony was full of surprises. After enduring for so long, she finally had the power to bring her slaver to justice, as she perceived it. But in the end, all she did was make some demands.
  865. > 'No more shock collar' she had said. Not 'no more beatings' or 'no more training'. She knew I wouldn't agree to that. So she only asked that I do away with my worst method of torture.
  866. > It was confusing as hell.
  867. > She hated the idea of slavery, but chose to stay. All she had really asked for were better conditions.
  868. > I didn't know what was going on in her head and that made me worry that I couldn't break her. It would definitely take more than just beatings.
  869. > And despite my occasional outbursts of rage at her recalcitrance, I knew I wouldn't be able to torture her in cold blood.
  870. > She also wanted to keep her name.
  871. > Taking it away had proven pointless. She never answered to it unless I punished her. Maybe that was a concession I could make?
  872. > Maybe, if I proved to her that I would keep my promise, even one I made under duress, I would gain some leverage with her?
  873. > But could I trust her?
  874. > The pony had attacked me, after all. And I was sure she had been intent on revenge.
  875. > Could I blame her after the things I had done to her?
  876. > Why then, didn't she escape when she had the chance?
  877. > My thoughts ran in the same circle of questions until morning without reaching any sort of conclusion.
  878. > I almost didn't notice Lavender approach. I wasn't expecting it; she had never come out of her room willingly before.
  879. > She sat on her haunches in front of me. After a minute of silence, she spoke up - another first.
  880. > "What happens now?" she asked, quietly.
  881. "I don't know."
  882. > She had been expecting as much. Neither of us really know where to go from there.
  883. > When she said nothing more, I posed a question of my own.
  884. "Why didn't you run away?"
  885. > Things would have been so much simpler. They would have dragged her back and I would have punished her. I would even have been able to justify going harder on her, at least to myself.
  886. > Or maybe she would have gotten killed. That would have been a financial loss for me, but I would have understood it; I would have known what to do next.
  887. > More importantly, she would have shown me that she cared. That she wanted to live. She wouldn't be just a passive observer of her own life.
  888. > As if to mock me, the pony echoed my own answer: "I don't know."
  889. "I should beat you until you're begging for mercy and then keep going. Either you obey or you die."
  890. > She shrugged, which I had never seen a pony do before. It was oddly endearing.
  891. > "Why don't you?"
  892. > I had to take a deep, calming breath. She was flippant and it made me angry.
  893. "You're some piece of work, pony."
  894. > She wanted to make another snide remark, but she kept herself from saying it. Lavender knew it wouldn't end well if I lost my patience then.
  895. > "What will you do with me?" she asked again, calmly. Her voice sounded almost disinterested, as if she was asking what time it was.
  896. > I had thought about that. I remembered the circle of questions. I honestly didn't know how to proceed with her.
  897. > There was an easy way out. Send her back, admit defeat. I wouldn't get paid, but that didn't matter.
  898. > I would get this strange, broken pony out of my life.
  899. > Broken?
  900. > My own thought surprised me. I inspected her face more closely. There were streaks of wet fur down her cheeks. Her ears hung limp. She was averting her eyes from mine. Even her posture was slumped.
  901. > She seemed more defeated now than after any beating I had given her.
  902. > I allowed myself to feel cautiously optimistic.
  903. > Perhaps she did care, after all.
  904. "What's the matter?"
  905. > For a moment it seemed she would refuse to answer. But then she looked up and I saw her eyes brimming with fresh tears.
  906. > "I'm a screwup," she said. "All I wanted since I was captured was to escape. To go home. And now I finally had a chance and I couldn't do it. I'm pathetic!"
  907. "Why couldn't you do it?"
  908. > Now that she had started talking, there was no holding back. Her words came faster and with more urgency.
  909. > "I was scared! I realized you were right - I don't know how to get home. The best I could hope for was to die fighting. And I don't want to die."
  910. > Her tears were now flowing unimpeded. She didn't even seem aware of them.
  911. > I slipped from the couch and sat down on the floor, bringing myself down to her height.
  912. > "And I hate it here and I'm scared, but I'm more scared of running. And I hate what you're doing to me. I think maybe it's working and that scares me more than anything."
  913. > I remembered what she was like after I had shown her the snuff film. Maybe her inner conflict made a strange kind of sense.
  914. > Lavender Falls would not bend to slavery. But when she was pushed too far, she broke completely.
  915. > She was near that point again, but this time it wasn't anything I did. She had done it to herself.
  916. > I had my answer, though. It sounded as if she did want to live, after all. I could work with that.
  917. > But looking at her misery tugged at my heartstrings. She was like a kicked puppy. Maybe a lighter touch would work better with this one?
  918. "Look, I know your situation sucks, but you don't have a lot of choices."
  919. > I raised up my fingers one by one as I listed her options.
  920. "I can teach you to be a good pet. You can go back to the auction and take your chances with someone else. Or you can die."
  921. > That just made her cry.
  922. "If you learn how to bend a little, I can make sure you get a good home."
  923. > It was technically a lie, but I knew her real owner. I had done business with him in the past. He didn't abuse his ponies or make them share his bed. Lavender would end up a simple house maid.
  924. > There were worse fates.
  925. > The pony just folded down onto the floor, covering her head with her hooves. It was a pathetic sight and I put a comforting hand on her back.
  926. "Look, beating you obviously won't work. I'm willing to let up a little if you try to learn."
  927. > A leg moved and an eye peeked out at me. She wanted to see if I was lying.
  928. > I wasn't.
  929. "I promised you no more shock collar or taser. I'll keep that promise, okay? And you can keep your name, if you'll answer to it."
  930. > My gut told me I was making a mistake. I was giving ground to her. It was a bad precedent.
  931. > But I remembered how lifeless she had been. If she reached the point where she refused to eat again, I wasn't sure I could bring her back.
  932. > She moved her other hoof away, uncovering both eyes.
  933. > "But you'll keep beating me... training me?"
  934. > That was the flaw in my plan, I knew. I still needed to break her spirit. I couldn't have her acting obedient until I handed her over to my client, then snapping back and doing something stupid at the first sign of trouble.
  935. > Like attempting to escape or refusing her owner's commands. Or, worse, attacking him or his family.
  936. "I'll have to punish you when you make mistakes, yes. But I promise it will never be without reason. And never with the collar or taser."
  937. > That was a vague enough promise that I could keep. After all, breaking her spirit was a valid reason for beatings in my book.
  938. > She closed her eyes and heaved a sigh. "I don't have any choice, do I?"
  939. > I moved my hand up her mane and scratched her ears. The whole mess seemed to have turned out better than I had feared.
  940. "I'm sorry, girl. But you won't have a bad life. Once you fully submit, everything will make sense, you'll see."
  941. > She started to cry again, so I left her in peace and went to make us breakfast.
  942.  
  943. > ~~~~
  944.  
  945. > You can't tell how long you've lain on the floor. After a while, you became aware of a plate of food next to your snout.
  946. > It smelled delicious, so you raised your head and began to eat. Apple and orange slices, a banana, even some grapes.
  947. > You hadn't even realized how hungry you were until you tasted the first morsel.
  948. > Meanwhile, Anon ate his own breakfast - a bowl of cereal with milk.
  949. > At least it wasn't meat.
  950. > You felt better after the meal, at least physically. Emotionally... not so much.
  951. > The fact remained: you had chickened out.
  952. > Throughout the months of captivity all you could think of was escaping. Fighting. Resisting.
  953. > And when the first real chance presented itself, you were too scared to act.
  954. > Perhaps you deserved to be a slave?
  955. > You almost wished Anon would start beating you again. At least you would know where you stood.
  956. > There had to be a punishment for what you did, right?
  957. > The uncertainty was too much. You opened your mouth.
  958. "Anon?"
  959. > He dropped his spoon into the empty bowl and pushed it away. "Hmm?"
  960. "You'll punish me for last night."
  961. > It wasn't a question. The human stared at you for the longest time.
  962. > "I have to, Summer," he said, making you wince at your slave name.
  963. > He saw your expression and quickly corrected himself. "Sorry, Lavender. It'll take me some time to get used to that."
  964. > You appreciated the concession, even though it wouldn't significantly change your situation. Maybe it would let you keep a tiny bit of your pride.
  965. > "Twenty lashes, just with the belt, ok?"
  966. > That was a first. The slaver had never discussed your punishments with you before. And it didn't sound as bad as you had been expecting.
  967. > You gave a small nod, then returned your head to the floor. You wanted to enjoy the time before the collar was put back.
  968. > His hand was in your mane again. You wanted to shy away or buck him. It didn't seem right that your tormentor would give you comfort.
  969. > But all that would do is get you punished harder, sooner.
  970. > "It won't be so bad, Lavender," Anon said. "Tell you what - after the punishment, I'll show you the album of my other ponies."
  971. "Album?"
  972. > "Yes, some of my trainees write to me on occasion to tell me how they are doing. You'll see they are happy with their new homes."
  973. > That... would actually put some of your fears to rest. You still hated the idea of being a pet, but if Anon was telling the truth, maybe it wasn't quite as bad as you imagined?
  974. "Anon, why are you doing all this?"
  975. > He misunderstood and his face darkened. "We've been over this, Lavender-"
  976. "No, I mean: why this line of work?"
  977. > That shut him up. You thought he became sad for a second, but you couldn't be sure. It looked like he wouldn't tell you anyway, so you turned your head away, trying to relax as much as possible before your 'training' started again.
  978. > "I-" he started to say, surprising you. Your eyes snapped back to his face. You could see the struggle. He didn't want to tell you, but at the same time he really wanted to tell *someone*.
  979. > "I did a bad thing once. Someone- people got hurt because of it. People and ponies."
  980. > This seemed important and you swiveled your ears toward him so you wouldn't miss a single word.
  981. > "It was my fault, because the pony didn't obey when she should have. It hit me pretty hard."
  982. "Were they close to you? The people who got hurt?"
  983. > He searched for an answer. You knew there were things he wasn't telling you, but anything he shared would be some progress. Maybe if you got to know him, and he you...
  984. > You pushed the naive hope away. You wouldn't convince him to give up your training. At best you could make it easier on yourself.
  985. > "Yeah, they were pretty close," he said and you knew he wouldn't give you any more details. Not this time, at least. But you would remember and try to bring it up again.
  986. > After a brief pause he resumed his story. "Anyway, I got depressed because of it. I promised myself I'd never let that happen - someone to get hurt because of a disobedient pony. So I started training."
  987. > There were some obvious gaps in the information. You couldn't quite make the connection from someone getting hurt to wanting to train slaves, even if a pony was really at fault.
  988. > You were curious, despite your fears. You really would have to find out more, someday.
  989. > Maybe if you earned a bit of trust, first?
  990. > It was a brilliant idea and it gave you hope, however slim. If you got deep enough into this slaver's mind, maybe you could slowly change it.
  991. > You squashed the rational thought that told you it was impossible.
  992. > What other choice did you have? Maybe if you got your magic back again, you could escape for real.
  993. "What if I get my magic back again?"
  994. > You've blurted that out without thinking. Stupid! Now you've reminded him.
  995. > "I thought about that. I still don't know how you did that. I'll have to call some people and ask."
  996. > It wasn't an answer to your question.
  997. "Aren't you afraid I'll hurt you? Or escape?"
  998. > "Well, if we can't explain why it happened and it comes back, I'll have to use the collar."
  999. > The despair you felt made your face fall. You have been expecting it, but for a while you held on to hope that Anon would keep his word.
  1000. > He saw your look and put his hand on your cheek to wipe away the tears.
  1001. > "I won't use it otherwise, okay? I'll keep my promise as long as you don't attack me with magic, deal? Let's start working up some trust here."
  1002. > You nodded, slowly. It was a compromise. Besides, you didn't think the magic would come back. Last night had been a fluke.
  1003. > You gathered your courage and stood up. It was time to end this charade.
  1004. "What do you want me to do... Master?"
  1005. > The words were exactly as bitter as you had imagined, but you made yourself say them anyway.
  1006. > He was pleased, even giving you a little smile.
  1007. > "Let's take it slow today. You need a shower, first. You stink. Then, if you behave and take your punishment, I thought we could go practice with the leash a little. I want to get out of the house for a while."
  1008. > Going outside - you haven't even had a good look out the windows since you came here. It sounded pleasant.
  1009. > In what seemed like a previous lifetime, you had been a herbalist. You had enjoyed working in your garden or walking through the countryside.
  1010. "I think I'd like that."
  1011.  
  1012. > ~~~~
  1013.  
  1014. > I was surprised at how docile Lavender was in the shower. She was really making an effort, no doubt thanks to my promise to take her out.
  1015. > Normally, she fought me until I beat her into submission and even then she had to be pushed into the cabin and held down.
  1016. > It wasn't that the pony disliked bathing, but she seemed to have similar inhibitions about the bathroom as humans. It was strange for a creature that normally didn't wear clothes.
  1017. > But many owners preferred to wash their ponies themselves and I wanted to teach Lavender to enjoy the experience, rather than fight it.
  1018. > She still didn't like it and kept staring fixedly at the tiles, but I recognized progress when I saw it.
  1019. "Very good," I cooed gently.
  1020. > I ran a soapy sponge along her back and down her tail. She shifted nervously as I passed over her rump.
  1021. > Maybe it was a little tender from her punishment, but most of her reaction came from fear.
  1022. > She had heard stories at auction about what some owners liked to do. Plus, I knew she was still a virgin.
  1023. > But the mare said absolutely nothing, standing stock still and keeping her eyes on the wall in front of her.
  1024. > I switched hands and reached under, lathering up her chest. As I strayed downward, her nerves finally gave out and she flopped down, protecting her sensitive bits.
  1025. > I tapped her flank.
  1026. "Up, girl."
  1027. > She turned her head to look at me pleadingly. "I think I-I'm clean down there, M-master," she said with a nervous tremor in her voice.
  1028. > With any other pony, that would have earned her a stern look and maybe a slap with my hand, but with Lavender such a response would be counter productive.
  1029. > I was still firm, though.
  1030. "Now, now, don't be shy. I won't do anything untoward."
  1031. > She recognized the iron in my voice and dragged herself back to her feet.
  1032. > As a reward, I soaped her belly as quickly as I could before moving on.
  1033. "Move your tail, please."
  1034. > It took her long seconds and she closed her eyes before she did it. I saw her marebits needed extra care after her prolonged depression, during which I hadn't wanted to further stress her with bathing.
  1035. > I had long since learned to disregard any inhibitions or embarrassment about the task.
  1036. > After rinsing the sponge out and applying fresh shampoo, I just went for it. Lavender made a small gasp and I pressed the sponge firmly against her sensitive parts. Her tail twitched, but she kept it out of the way.
  1037. > I wiped quickly but firmly, my focus on cleaning rather than stimulation. I was careful to keep my fingers from touching her, so that the only point of contact was the sponge.
  1038. > After I removed my hand, the pony let her breath out. She looked back to see if I was done and her tail clamped over her exposed backside.
  1039. > I took up the shower head and tapped her rear again.
  1040. "Just a bit more, I have to rinse you off."
  1041. > She complied quicker this time because she knew I would only be using the water.
  1042. > It took me a few seconds to quickly shower her privates, then I moved on. The tail was back almost immediately, but I didn't fault her for that.
  1043. > The most unpleasant part done, Lavender visibly relaxed. It seemed as if she started to enjoy the warm water and gentle massaging as I washed the lather from her.
  1044. > Of course, she would not admit it yet, probably not even to herself.
  1045. > I took another dab of shampoo on my hands and worked it into her mane. Her nose wrinkled at the smell.
  1046. "You don't like rose shampoo?"
  1047. > "It's not that. This doesn't smell like rose. It just stinks of... chemicals."
  1048. > I understood. The product was designed for humans, so it only had to fool our, comparatively weak, sense of smell. I knew ponies had much more sensitive noses, so to Lavender the concoction was probably quite different.
  1049. > I tried imagining washing myself with the window cleaner.
  1050. "Tell you what - that part with your rear could use some work. You need to learn to relax and trust your owner. If you do better next time, I'll take you shopping and you can pick out a shampoo you like."
  1051. > It was a heavy price, but the pony agreed. "Fine," she said. She didn't sound enthused, but I was happy she agreed at all.
  1052. > Getting her to submit voluntarily would slowly teach her that it wasn't scary and could even be pleasant.
  1053. > I rinsed her for the final time and grabbed a towel.
  1054. "Lets get you dry, then we can go for our walk. After I change out of these wet clothes."
  1055. > Briefly I wondered if Lavender might be ready to start doing laundry. I had gotten lazy with all the help over the years.
  1056. > I decided to wait a while longer, so as not to overwhelm her.
  1057. > ...
  1058. > Despite her misgivings about the collar, Lavender allowed me to clasp it around her neck with only minimal protest.
  1059. > As a precaution I put the remote in my pocket, but I promised her again I wouldn't use it.
  1060. > She understood I couldn't trust her, so she didn't argue, even if she didn't like it.
  1061. > Her enthusiasm to go out probably helped. She was visibly excited, fidgeting and swiveling her ears toward the door while I attached the leash.
  1062. > It seemed she had forgotten her embarrassment from the shower.
  1063. > When I let us out, she moved without me having to prompt her. She paused at the threshold to take in the late autumn scene, but she walked out before I had to usher her.
  1064. > I had decided we would stroll to a nearby park. It was late morning on a Wednesday, so there wouldn't be too many people about.
  1065. > Eventually, I would have to get Lavender used to crowds, but for this first time I wanted some solitude.
  1066. > The pony was silent as she walked, doing her best to ignore my presence. She was looking around, trying to take everything in and stopping occasionally to examine a plant or a bush.
  1067. > Some, she sniffed and a couple she carefully tasted, murmuring to herself.
  1068. > I didn't want to intrude, so I stopped each time to let her indulge, only tugging at the leash if she took particularly long.
  1069. > Soon, the clop of her hooves softened as we moved from asphalt to gravel. We were technically in the park, but I kept up our pace.
  1070. > I wanted to show Lavender the sights, as incentive to behave, so I led her down the dirt trail until a small lake came into view.
  1071. > It was a popular spot for picnics and family outings, replete with benches, tables and playground equipment for kids.
  1072. > There were a few joggers about, stretching or enjoying a quiet sandwich, but for the most part the park was empty.
  1073. > I led Lavender to the water's edge and chose us a bench in the sun. I sat down and watched the pony.
  1074. > In the sun, her coat came to life again, glittering and shimmering. The pitch black of her mane only served to accenuate her glimmer. I was reminded again how unique the pony was.
  1075. > Did she glitter more when she was happy? I tried to gauge her mood.
  1076. > She had glanced at the other people but had quickly dismissed them. Now her attention was on a couple of ducks, floating peacefully on the water.
  1077. > Her ears briefly turned to me, then resumed their scanning.
  1078. > I could see the pony was excited to be outside, even if she was trying her hardest to feign disinterest.
  1079. "It's a lovely day," I commented.
  1080. > She looked back at me and I could see her eyes pause on the leash in my hand before she answered.
  1081. > "Yes, this is nice," she said, then returned her gaze to the water.
  1082. > "Thank you for bringing me," she added. A little belatedly, perhaps, but I was glad she had remembered her manners at all.
  1083. "I saw you looking at those bushes along the way. Anything interesting?"
  1084. > She spun around at the question, surprised and delighted.
  1085. > This was her talent and passion. For the moment, she forgot about being a slave. For the first time I had known her, Lavender's eyes really filled up with joy and I could swear her coat lit up.
  1086. > Was it possible? Did her fur change its properties based on her mood? That was a hell of a thing.
  1087. > If so, I understood her price tag.
  1088. > "Those were elderberry bushes," she explained. "They blossom in spring and can be used to make tea or syrup."
  1089. > Her mouth quirked up in a bittersweet smile as the memory overtook her.
  1090. > "I used to pick them outside Manehattan every spring. The smell always made me feel better when I was lonely or sad."
  1091. > She fell silent her eyes unfocused and distant. I waited patiently for her to return to the present.
  1092. > With a shake of her head and a deep sigh, Lavender brought herself back.
  1093. > "I also saw some heather shrubs and I think that last one was a type of sage. There were also some plants I've never seen before, so I wanted to examine them more closely."
  1094. > I glanced at her ass-picture - 'cutie mark' it was called. I had learned a few things from my trainees.
  1095. > I knew this was the nearest she had come to fulfilling her destiny in this world, and it was having a profound effect on the pony. She was getting lost in her mind again.
  1096. > I knew it could be a valuable tool for her training.
  1097. "Lavender."
  1098. > With an effort, she focused on me again. "Hmm?"
  1099. "If you show me that you're really trying to learn, I may allow you to start a small garden in the back of the house. Consider it special incentive."
  1100. > For a moment, her eyes grew wide and she almost smiled in appreciation. But as she parsed what I had said, her ears fell flat again.
  1101. > "If I'm a good slave, you'll let me..." she murmured, mostly to herself, lowering her head.
  1102. > She knew it was yet another reminder of her situation and more leverage for me, but she couldn't help herself wanting it.
  1103. "Don't be so glum-"
  1104. > I was about to say how her situation was miles better than some, but there was a delighted scream right behind me.
  1105. > "Eeeeee! MOM! Look at the pretty pony!"
  1106. > A little girl ran into view, followed by her mother, who barely caught her in time.
  1107. > "Now Clarissa, we've talked about touching other people's pets, haven't we?" the lady chided her, casting an apologetic glance at me.
  1108. > The girl frowned for a moment, then her smile was back as she gave me a pleading look.
  1109. > "Can I pet the pony, mister?" she asked, very politely.
  1110. > I looked askance at Lavender and raised my eyebrows slightly. It took the pony a few seconds to figure out what I wanted.
  1111. > She looked from me to the child, then its mother and back to me. She gave a slight nod.
  1112. > I put my hand into my pocket anyway and took hold of her remote, just in case. The pony saw the gesture, but she kept her face neutral.
  1113. "Go right ahead, just be gentle, okay? Her name is Lavender."
  1114. > The child all but squealed her delight and wrapped her arms around Lavender's neck. She tugged at her mane and ran her fingers over her coat.
  1115. > "She is soooo cute," Clarissa exclaimed and turned to her mother. "Mom, why is Lavender so shiny?"
  1116. > The woman was at a loss, but she, too, was staring admiringly at the creature. I decided to help out.
  1117. "Lavender is a special type of pony called a 'Crystal pony'."
  1118. > The child ooohed and aaahed as she inspected the mare from all sides, even poking at her flank picture.
  1119. > Eventually, she just buried her little face in the black mane.
  1120. > "You smell nice, pony," she exclaimed.
  1121. > It was making Lavender very uncomfortable and my finger was right on the button the whole time.
  1122. > After what seemed like an eternity, the lady got tired of waiting and grabbed her daughter's hand.
  1123. > "Come now, Clarissa. Let's stop bothering the nice man and his pony," she said, firmly.
  1124. > The child didn't seem to mind. She just waved and said her goodbye. "Bye, Lavender! It was nice meeting you!"
  1125. > Only after they were gone from sight did I release the collar remote and pull my hand out of my pocket.
  1126. > The pony was openly glaring at me. "You thought that was necessary?" she demanded, raising her hoof to point at my hand.
  1127. "I had to be careful, Lavender."
  1128. > Her frown deepened as she lowered her leg again. Her ears were flat and her voice sounded angry and hurt.
  1129. > "It was a *child*, Anon! What kind of a monster do you think I am?!"
  1130. "Need I remind you that you were holding a knife to my throat not twelve hours ago?"
  1131. > Lavender opened and closed her mouth a few times, then turned back to the lake without answering. Her butt hit the grass and she heaved a sigh.
  1132. > "It was a child," she repeated, dejectedly.
  1133. > Perhaps I have been a little too paranoid? After all, the mare had conducted herself exemplary around the girl.
  1134. "Look, I wasn't going to use it, not unless you started biting or kicking, okay? Like you said - it was a kid and I didn't want to take any chances."
  1135. > She humphed, but didn't say anything further.
  1136. "You did well, anyway. I'm inclined to forget you little outburst."
  1137. > Her head snapped back, staring. She obviously hadn't even considered there could be punishment for her words.
  1138. > "You're unbelievable," she said in exasperation.
  1139. "Careful."
  1140. > Her ears fell flat. Despite her sour mood, the mare didn't want more punishment. Her twenty lashes hadn't been too bad, but they have brought her to tears before they were done.
  1141. > "Sorry," she said, not really meaning it. A few seconds later, she added as an afterthought: "Master."
  1142. > It was still a nice day, but there were more visitors to the park as the day shifted into afternoon. I didn't want to test the pony further, so I stood up.
  1143. "Let's get going."
  1144. > Lavender followed quickly, admirably keeping some slack in the leash. She hadn't said much more after our exchange and I haven't tried to converse with her.
  1145. > But now I wanted to clear the air a little.
  1146. "Look - you'll earn my trust in time, I promise."
  1147. > She didn't answer.
  1148. "And if you like, we can go in a different direction. I know a nice meadow along the way. If you find any interesting herbs, you'll pick them and you can make some tea or something when we get home, okay?"
  1149. >...
  1150. > Both our moods were much improved by the time we returned to the house. Lacking saddle bags or something similar, the pony was carrying a bundle of plants in her mouth.
  1151. > She was impatient to examine the herbs and begin preparing them, so she quickly trotted inside. She didn't notice the muddy hoofprints she tracked into the house.
  1152. "Hey, Lavender, get back here!" I called after her.
  1153. > She returned and spoke awkwardly around the parcel in her mouth. "Yesh?"
  1154. > I just pointed downward. She followed my finger and stared at the floor. It took her a few seconds to figure out what I meant.
  1155. > "Oh, that. Sowwy," she mumbled and went to wipe her hooves on the floor mat. After a cursory glance to confirm she had gotten most of it, the pony walked past me again, heading for her chamber.
  1156. "Clean it up before you start on that."
  1157. > She stopped and turned to face me. "Oh," she said dejectedly. Her eyes crossed as she looked at the parcel in her mouth, then her gaze returned to the mess. She was obviously trying to think of a way to put it off.
  1158. > I raised my voice.
  1159. "I mean now, Lavender! Remember - your duties to your Master come first. Being allowed to indulge in your hobby is a privilege."
  1160. > The bundle of plants dropped from her mouth as her ears folded down flat.
  1161. > "Hobby..." she said incredulously. She had to take a deep breath to calm herself after what she took as an insult.
  1162. > "Fine," she said at last, choosing not to argue.
  1163. "In fact, after you mop this up, I want you to sweep the living room, too. *Then* you may work on those herbs."
  1164. > Her glare intensified. "Anything else, Master?" There was that sarcasm again.
  1165. "Keep that tone up and you'll have another session with the belt."
  1166. > She stuck her tongue out at me. It was cute and I was glad some of her spirit had returned, but I couldn't allow that behavior. I took a quick step forward and brought my hand down sharply on her flank.
  1167. > The pony yelped, more in surprise than pain. She jumped a short distance away, her muscles tense and watching me warily.
  1168. > I raised a warning finger.
  1169. "One more outburst like that and it will really be the belt."
  1170. > She rolled her eyes. "Jeez, Anon, it was a joke!"
  1171. "It wasn't funny," I lied.
  1172. > However cute her antics, I knew her owner won't appreciate such whimsy from his maid.
  1173. > She was about to argue some more, but decided against it. "Fine. Where's the mop? Let's get this over with already."
  1174. > I led the way down the hall.
  1175. "Come, I'll show you the broom closet."
  1176.  
  1177. > ~~~~
  1178.  
  1179. > The work wasn't hard, but it was humiliating. Every room you cleaned, every dish you washed, each load of laundry; it all served to remind you that you were a slave.
  1180. > Sometimes you couldn't keep your mouth shut, which had earned you spankings. But at least those were better than the beatings you got when you outright refused.
  1181. > On the plus side, Anon had kept his promise and not once used the collar or the taser. They were still there and it made you nervous, but you began to believe he had really meant it.
  1182. > No that it made much of a difference. You were still learning to be an obedient little slave and you hated yourself for it. But you really didn't want to feel those horrible implements of torture again, so you tried to push those feelings down.
  1183. > The resulting bitterness overshadowed any joy you might have gotten from your walks with the human. Even your special talent was ruined for you.
  1184. > You collected herbs, both ones you already knew and those unfamiliar to you, but it gave you no pleasure. You dried some, extracted tinctures from others, even experimented a little, but it all felt like drudgery.
  1185. > The rudimentary alchemy set Anon got you only served to remind you of the tools you had left in your workshop in Manehattan.
  1186. > The depression was descending once again.
  1187. > A few times you tried to get Anon to open up about his past, but he refused to talk about himself.
  1188. > How was it fair that you were punished for doing the same?
  1189. > The human probably knew more about you than the ponies you had once called friends.
  1190. > And you knew almost nothing about him. Nothing useful, at least.
  1191. > Everything came to a point one afternoon. Your slaver was lounging on the couch, watching his stupid sports when you brought his lunch on a tray.
  1192. > Maybe you did slam it down on the coffee table too hard, but nothing broke. It still made him jump in a most amusing manner. You did your best to hide your smirk.
  1193. > "What the hell, Lavender? Easy does it!"
  1194. > You went straight to the point.
  1195. "I want to start a garden like you promised!"
  1196. > It was your last-ditch effort to shake at least some of the bleakness from your life. Tending to green, growing things would at least let you pretend you weren't a slave for a while.
  1197. > "I told you - if you behaved. I wouldn't call this any sort of manners," he said and waved his hand toward the tray.
  1198. > You just watched him, coldly.
  1199. > "If you apologize, we'll say nothing more about this."
  1200. > You knew you gave him the stink eye, but you couldn't hold it back. So far, he had only punished you for your facial expressions twice.
  1201. "Sorry, Master."
  1202. > You didn't mean either of those words, but the human accepted them anyway.
  1203. > "You may go," he said, dismissively.
  1204. > The casual attitude with which he ordered you around really irked. You returned to the kitchen, fuming.
  1205. > He hadn't technically given you permission to take your own lunch, but you opened the fridge anyway.
  1206. > The bottles of beer caught your eye. You glanced toward the door, trying to hear if the human was eating. The TV masked the sounds he was making, but you heard the clink of silverware.
  1207. > You hadn't gotten drunk since Manehattan. But now you realized that you needed it. Badly.
  1208. > It wouldn't solve any of your problems, the rational part of you thought. In fact, it would probably create some new ones.
  1209. > If Anon found out, you would be in for a severe punishment.
  1210. > But there was no real choice. You needed to turn your thoughts off for a while. You felt as if there was an endless chasm of despair before you and the only thing keeping you up was your anger.
  1211. > You needed to feel happy for a while, even if was an alcohol-induced lie.
  1212. > Consequences be damned.
  1213. > As quietly as you could, you removed a bottle and closed the fridge. You took it to the hallway, so the human wouldn't hear you open it.
  1214. > The cap was harder to twist than you thought, but you managed. Your teeth stung a little, but you just ignored them and tilted your treasure up.
  1215. > It was almost too bitter for you, but you persisted. You knew the taste wouldn't matter as soon as the alcohol hit you.
  1216. > Maybe you should have eaten first, but it was too late now anyway. You emptied the thing in about ten seconds.
  1217. > You stashed the bottle behind the cupboard. You could sneak it into the bin when Anon was sleeping or out for supplies. You were sure he wouldn't find it. It wasn't as if he ever cleaned the place on his own.
  1218. > Then you returned to the kitchen and waited.
  1219. > After a while you began to feel dizzy, but it did nothing to quiet your thoughts.
  1220. > You needed more. You carefully walked up to the living room door and looked inside. The humans on TV were still running with their ball. You couldn't guess how much longer it would last, but Anon still had his lunch to finish.
  1221. > There were a few minutes left, at least. Long enough.
  1222. > The second bottle made a gentle clink as you pulled it out. You froze, listening.
  1223. > When nothing changed, you closed the fridge as quietly as you could and walked to the hallway again.
  1224. > This time, it was much easier to open, thanks to your newfound experience. You lifted it up and let it empty into your throat.
  1225. > The bottle joined its friend behind the cupboard.
  1226. > This was more like it. You felt your mind slowing down, thoughts losing their focus.
  1227. > The pain of your emotions dulled a little.
  1228. > It took you several tries to find your hooves, but you managed to return to the kitchen. You sat on the floor, laid your head on a chair and closed your eyes.
  1229. > If only you could forget for a minute. The alcohol was really helping, but it wasn't quite enough just yet.
  1230. > All it afforded you was numbness. You needed euphoria.
  1231. > Maybe your judgement was impaired, but getting a third bottle started to seem like a good idea.
  1232. > But there was no room in your belly. In fact, it was starting to feel quite bloated and you shifted to make yourself more comfortable.
  1233. > Luckily, you felt the burp coming and managed to silence it somewhat with a hoof.
  1234. > That was better. You cold take another bottle now.
  1235. > The floor swam around a little, but you managed to keep your balance with four legs. The fridge was a little trickier to open and the beer made a lot more noise as you pulled it out.
  1236. > The bottle was probably misshapen, that's why it snagged and hit absolutely everything.
  1237. > You butted the door closed with your head, but you forgot about your horn. It left a little dent in the white surface.
  1238. "Augh!"
  1239. > It made you grunt in surprise as you stubbed it. You just ignored it and took your prize unsteadily to the hallway again.
  1240. > The human might have heard, but the thought barely had time to register before you shushed it.
  1241. > You couldn't quite remember why you needed to drink it out there, but it was habitual by now.
  1242. > Opening it was another problem, but after you stared at it for a while and really applied your mind, you figured out how to twist the cap off with your teeth.
  1243. > The next part was easier; you grabbed it by the neck and lifted it up, letting the liquid splash on your tongue.
  1244. > This beer stuff wasn't as bad as it had seemed, now that you have gotten used to it.
  1245. > And it was pleasantly cold, soothing your throat.
  1246. > Some of it spilled out the side of your mouth, but you didn't care. You would mop the floor later anyway. At least this time you'd be cleaning after yourself.
  1247. > Soon, the bottle was empty and you put it aside. It didn't seem right to leave it in the middle of the hallway where someone might trip over it, so you nudged it closer to the wall.
  1248. > Your stomach didn't feel very good, but at least the world made a lot more sense.
  1249. > The human wasn't a bad person. He just got really upset when you messed up. He was just trying to help, that was all. And the beatings were just-
  1250. > You lost the train of thought. You decided to go ask Anon.
  1251. > Walking was an exercise in caution, but you managed alright once you remembered to only move one leg at a time.
  1252. > You really didn't like the pressure in your midriff, though. You opened your mouth to relieve it and let out an enormous burp.
  1253. "'s better," you mumbled to yourself.
  1254. > But now, the way everything was spinning was making you nauseated. Forget Anon, you decided you needed to lie down first.
  1255. > Your room was past the human, but you weren't afraid. He had his TV. He probably wouldn't even notice you.
  1256. > He never paid attention when you did well. All he saw were your mistakes.
  1257. > Ungrateful swine!
  1258. > In fact - now was the perfect time to give him a piece of your mind. You had to tell him how rotten he's been to you before you forgot again!
  1259. > Then you would go and have a lie down.
  1260. > The only problem was remembering which door was the living room. You looked up the stairs, but remembered that wasn't the right way.
  1261. "Nuh, iz notit" you told yourself.
  1262. > The kitchen was the living room, right? You headed that way.
  1263. > You felt your flank rub against the door frame as you misjudged your direction, but it just helped to orient you better.
  1264. > The table was harder to navigate. You bumped into a few of the chairs, but not hard enough to hurt yourself.
  1265. > Pretty soon you were in the living room. You swayed your way to the TV and sat down. Now Anon wouldn't be able to ignore you.
  1266. > Your ass hit the floor with rather more force than you intended, but the thump served to get the human's attention.
  1267. > "Lavender? What's wrong?" he asked after getting a look at your face.
  1268. > Oh, *now* he suddenly cared?!
  1269. "I'ma tell yous waz wrong!"
  1270. > That came out better than expected, so you were encouraged to lay out all your grievances at once.
  1271. "Youz no respec' me an' workin' allatime. Don' like beatin's an' wanna garden. Fo' hebs'n'such."
  1272. > You checked them all of your mental list. That was about everything.
  1273. > Oh, except for the last one.
  1274. "Don' wanna be shlave!"
  1275. > Having made your point as eloquently as you were able, you promptly burst into tears.
  1276. > You didn't even notice the human move. He was there and you were grateful for the way he was supporting your head. The room swam a little less with his steadying grip on your mane and chin.
  1277. > "God damn it, Lavender, you're completely drunk! What the fuck's the matter with you?"
  1278. > That answered some of the points you had raised, but you blinked your tears away and repeated your most important concern again.
  1279. "Wanna herb garden fo' cutie speshul talent!"
  1280. > "Herb garden!? You'll be lucky I don't flay your sorry hide for this, you little idiot!" he agreed.
  1281. > It made you happy, so you gave him a hug. Well, on your second try you did. The first grab of your hooves missed him entirely.
  1282. > The tears came back and you found it hard to talk as you wailed.
  1283. "Jus' wanna go home, A- *hic* Anon. Dun' like it here!"
  1284. > That was a good way to express gratitude, right?
  1285. > You tried to gauge the human's expression, but your eyes crossed and you couldn't get a good look.
  1286. > After a few blinks you got a clearer picture.
  1287. > Yep, he was red in the face because of embarrassment. The way his eyes were narrowed probably meant he was really sorry. And the tremble in his lip betrayed that he cared for you deeply. Even the way his hand gripped your mane so tightly convinced you that he really loved you.
  1288. > Your owner would make it all better, you were sure. He was a good person.
  1289. > His voice was tight with emotion. "We'll see how much you'll like it after I give you a beating of your life! Fucking horse, this isn't acceptable!"
  1290. > You had heard him say he would give you what you wanted most in your life! The elation made you close your eyes in joy.
  1291. > That was a mistake though. With nothing to focus on, you really felt the room spin.
  1292. > Something seemed to rise up from your stomach and you opened your mouth to warn Anon.
  1293. > It was too late, though. Instead of words, out came a stream of warm, used beer.
  1294.  
  1295. > ~~~~
  1296.  
  1297. > I was angry. Mostly, my rage was directed at the shimmering, white pony in the shower cabin. But I was also pissed at myself.
  1298. > That last part was because I was worried about her and that was interfering with my job.
  1299. > I had gone soft on her, that much was obvious. The pony kept mouthing off to me. She was sloppy and slow in her duties. Sometimes, she outright refused them.
  1300. > And my punishments hadn't made any impression. It was time to return to the bigger stick, I decided.
  1301. > But it was easier said than done, especially with this trainee. For all her strength and resistance, Lavender constantly teetered on the edge of depression. If I pushed her too hard, she just shut down completely.
  1302. > The change was dramatically obvious on her coat. It became gray and lackluster, almost lifeless.
  1303. > Maybe the striking, visual difference between happy Lavender and miserable Lavender was the reason I went easy on her.
  1304. > I vowed to change that.
  1305. > Although, following her little 'party', she was almost back to her original, glimmering self. It was something to think about. The hangover would probably change that, but for now Lavender was a happy drunk.
  1306. > A moan snapped me out of my thoughts. "Ung-" the mare in the shower tried to say before her word turned to a gargle, followed by a splash of vomit.
  1307. > Her eyes were still closed, but I thought she was waking up judging by the way she feebly rubbed at her mouth with a leg.
  1308. > Even smashed out of her mind and covered with regurgitated beer, the pony somehow managed to look adorable.
  1309. > The righteous anger I felt deflected most her cuteness.
  1310. > Her eyes fluttered open and she groaned again. "Ugh- I'm gonna-" she tried to say, but retched before she could finish.
  1311. > Nothing came out this time. She looked around, trying to focus on my face, but ultimately gave up and let her head fall again.
  1312. > She seemed stable for the moment, so I went to clean up the mess in the living room.
  1313. > It would have been more appropriate to make the pony do it, but I didn't want to endure the smell until she woke up. Plus, it was soaking into the rug.
  1314. > On the way I found the bottle in the hallway.
  1315. > She got completely wasted on one beer?
  1316. > I shook my head in dismay as I dropped the empty container in the bin.
  1317. > ...
  1318. > Once the disgusting job was done, I returned to the bathroom where Lavender was fast asleep.
  1319. > She was sprawled on her side, completely oblivious to the fact that she had smeared fresh vomit all over herself.
  1320. > Her tiny snores stopped as I prodded her shoulder, but returned in full force as soon as I took my hand away.
  1321. > I decided to let her sleep it off right there. It would be easier to clean if she threw up again.
  1322. > It was late afternoon and I still had to go to the pharmacy for her magic pills.
  1323. > The pony probably wouldn't wake up until morning, but I still locked the bathroom door, just in case.
  1324. > Then I began to think up an appropriate punishment.
  1325. > ...
  1326. > I was up before the dawn. Having checked on Lavender in the evening and finding her still passed out, I had decided to sleep on it.
  1327. > But now it was time. My grip on the riding crop tightened as I entered the bathroom.
  1328. > It wasn't original, but it had always been effective in the past.
  1329. > She was awake, much to her own dismay. After spotting the whip she tried to push herself upright, but quickly gave up.
  1330. > "Ow!" she complained, grabbing at he head with her forelegs.
  1331. > I ignored the smell and approached. Her ears turned to track my progress, but the pony kept her head hidden beneath her hooves.
  1332. > "Go on," she said, defeated. "Just get it over with."
  1333. > It was a struggle to keep the anger going, but I remembered the veritable geyser of beer that had ruined my clothes and - quite probably - the living room carpet.
  1334. > I slapped the crop against the floor, making Lavender flinch.
  1335. > Even that slight movement brought her fresh agony and she whimpered. "Ow, my head!"
  1336. "You deserve it," I told her. "Look at me!"
  1337. > It took her some effort to peel her legs away from her face. Her eyes were red and filled with tears. Her mane was disheveled and tangled.
  1338. > A truly pathetic sight.
  1339. > Face to face with her punishment, Lavender lost her courage.
  1340. > "P-please, Anon- Master. I'm so-sorry," she whined.
  1341. "Not yet you aren't. But you will be."
  1342. > She closed her eyes and sniffed, no doubt expecting the first lash.
  1343. "Before we begin, tell me: what in hell possessed you to do something that stupid?!"
  1344. > The pony looked at me, but her gaze quickly fell down to her hooves.
  1345. > She gathered her resolve and heaved a sigh. "I just- I needed it, okay?"
  1346. > I waited and she went on: "You don't know what it's like, living like this. I just wanted to forget for a while."
  1347. > Her voice was pleading, urgent. She desperately had to make me understand.
  1348. > "I just wanted to feel normal for a night!"
  1349. "Drinking yourself stupid is normal?!"
  1350. > Her anger flared briefly, bright enough to match my own. "It's better than this!"
  1351. > The hit I landed on her flank was unexpected and it made her yelp in pain.
  1352. > Her eyes narrowed. "Go on! Beat me into a pulp. I don't care! At least I'll know what to expect from you!"
  1353. > That pushed me over the edge. I felt the last vestiges of my calm slipping away. My hand shot out, almost without conscious control, and grabbed her mane.
  1354. > I raised the troublesome pony up by the hair until she was balancing precariously on her hind legs.
  1355. > Then I began lashing with my other hand. Lavender gritted her teeth and tried to keep herself from crying out.
  1356. > But after five or six strikes she couldn't hold it any longer. Each time the crop landed on her skin she let out a pained squeal.
  1357. > Her eyes were tightly shut and her hooves scrabbled at the arm which was holding her.
  1358. > She twisted to hide her wounded flank and I angled the whip to smack a new, tender place.
  1359. > It connected with her nipple and Lavender's eyes flew open. She let out a scream of pain that echoed around the bathroom.
  1360. > Before she could draw breath for another, I hit her again in the same place. She convulsed and almost ripped free from my hand, but I managed to keep my grip.
  1361. > I paused for a few seconds as she choked for breath. After she got it back she began to squeal louder.
  1362. > Her legs crossed, trying to protect her sensitive bits and her tail wrapped around body.
  1363. > But I just swung at her exposed backside. Somehow her eyes grew even wider.
  1364. > Her legs gave out completely and I couldn't keep my grip on her mane. She collapsed into a tight ball, wailing.
  1365. > It wasn't yet enough to make me stop, though. All the frustrations from the past few weeks bubbled up in my mind. Her sarcasm. Her lethargy. Even her depression, it all served to fuel my anger.
  1366. > The riding crop kept falling.
  1367. > Soon, Lavender was babbling.
  1368. > "No! Stop! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! No more! Stop! I'm sooorrrryyy!"
  1369. > I kept going for a while longer.
  1370. > "Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry," she kept repeating even after I had stopped.
  1371. > The whip clattered as it fell from my grasp.
  1372. > My anger was gone, replaced by disgust. Lavender was curled up in a tight ball, whimpering and hiding her face.
  1373. > But the thing that horrified me was her fur. It had gone from glittering white to dull ash. I had never seen it change so quickly.
  1374. "Lavender, look at me," I said, trying to keep the tremor from my voice.
  1375. > She did so, slowly. I couldn't help but stare at the change I saw before me.
  1376. > Gone was rebellion. There was no trace of the proud, resilient mare now. All I could see was fear and resignation.
  1377. > She was afraid of further pain, but at the same time she was resigned to her fate.
  1378. > I didn't know why that affected me so much. I had done the same thing many times before.
  1379. > Why was Lavender so different?
  1380. > No other pony had made me loose my calm in this fashion before. But at the same time, I have never regretted punishments, no matter how severe.
  1381. > I desperately wanted to get away and think. But I couldn't leave Lavender like that.
  1382. > My hand shook as I took the shower head. I made the water a little colder than usual, hoping it would be soothing on her bruises.
  1383. > I stepped into the shower and knelt down, so I could lean the pony against myself. I didn't even care about my clothes at that point.
  1384. > However gentle, the jet of water made Lavender tense up and whimper. I followed the stream with my hand, carefully brushing the filth out of her coat.
  1385. > After that I put a small dab of shampoo in my palm and began to rub it into her fur, as gently as I could.
  1386. > It took forever and my clothes were thoroughly soaked by the end, but at least I had made the experience as comfortable as I could for the pony.
  1387. > She was still crying by the time I had finished and carried her to the living room.
  1388. > I laid her down on the couch and covered her with a blanket. Then, after getting a change of clothes, I sat next to her and pulled her halfway into my lap.
  1389. > That was as comfortable as I could make her. Then I just turned on the TV and waited.
  1390. > ...
  1391. > I ignored my hunger and stayed with the pony well into the afternoon. Finally, she stirred.
  1392. > She lifted her head from my chest and focused on my face. A single tear fell.
  1393. > "Why are you like this?" she whispered, almost too quietly for me to hear.
  1394. > I scrambled to mute the TV before replying.
  1395. "Like what?"
  1396. > She raised a hoof and weakly laid it on my shoulder. "This. You're nice to me. You seem to care. But then you go and-"
  1397. > The pony fell silent, unwilling to say it, but I knew what she meant. The beatings.
  1398. "I'm sorry."
  1399. > Did I really apologize to a slave?
  1400. > But that was just it - Lavender had somehow become more than just a slave. Maybe my excessive punishments were a symptom of me refusing to accept that?
  1401. > It was a conflict between my concern for her and my experience. The first said I should tell her how I felt, but the second demanded I remain absolute, untouchable.
  1402. > As her master, I had to be in control. Always right.
  1403. > But as her friend, I wanted to tell her the truth.
  1404. > Each day I was less and less sure I could give Lavender back to her rightful owner. The longer she stayed, the more I wanted her to remain in my home.
  1405. > She watched my inner struggle in silence, until I changed the topic.
  1406. "I'll go and make us some lunch."
  1407. > She turned her head away from me, no doubt disappointed by my avoidance of her question.
  1408. > "Fine," she said, flatly. There was no more emotion in her voice.
  1409.  
  1410. > ~~~~
  1411. Secrets:
  1412.  
  1413. > You didn't want things to return to normal. Anon was nice you to again, which gave you false hope. It made you want to live and you hated that.
  1414. > It had taken all of your courage to accept death. When you had seen the human's face - when he had yanked you up by your mane and whipped you like a piece of meat - you had realized it was inevitable.
  1415. > Death was the only way out of your misery.
  1416. > But when your owner treated you well, when he acted as if you were really a person, it lifted your heart.
  1417. > You knew it was a lie. He had proven that, many times over.
  1418. > And that was why you hated him so much.
  1419. > Not much longer.
  1420. > The human wanted to destroy your spirit, you knew that. He wanted to break you so completely, that he could make you into anything he wanted.
  1421. > A perfect, little, obedient slave.
  1422. > In your eyes, that fate was worse than death.
  1423. > So you decided to take things into your own hooves.
  1424. > You couldn't fight the human. Even with your magic, you had been unable to kill him. Unwilling, was the better word.
  1425. > But there were two people in this twisted, bucked up relationship. You didn't have to kill Anon to free yourself.
  1426. > It helped that you hated yourself more than him.
  1427. > You hated who you had become.
  1428. > You had tried to obey. You had wanted to be a good slave for the human. And all because he had promised you a few trinkets.
  1429. > He had promised he would teach, rather than hurt. He had agreed to use your name. He had dangled a garden before you.
  1430. > That little it had taken for you to turn against everything you believed.
  1431. > It was disgusting.
  1432. > In a way you were glad he had shown you his true face once more. It proved to you that there could be no compromise.
  1433. > What he wanted was something you could never give.
  1434. > And what you needed from him you would never get.
  1435. > Your freedom.
  1436. > So you decided to take it for yourself. There were more kinds of freedom than one.
  1437. > The bottles were still where you had hidden them.
  1438. > Anon was out, buying groceries.
  1439. > He had left you on the couch, unrestrained.
  1440. > All the elements of your escape were in place.
  1441. > You forced yourself not to think about it as you went and fetched the empty bottle. The residual smell and the memory it evoked almost made your stomach turn.
  1442. > You took it to your chamber and placed it on the tiles. Then you stomped on it as hard as you could.
  1443. > The bottle broke and a few pieces jabbed your sensitive frog.
  1444. > It made you whimper in pain, but you were beyond caring. It wouldn't last very long now.
  1445. > You examined your handiwork. The bottle was crushed, but the neck was whole. And attached to it was a nice, jagged edge.
  1446. > It cut your mouth as you picked it up, but that just served to show you that it was sharp enough.
  1447. > You carefully placed it on the floor and gripped it between your hooves. It was angled upward, in perfect position for your neck.
  1448. > This was it.
  1449. > You considered writing a note for Anon, but you decided he would probably know why you had done it.
  1450. > It was best just to get it over with.
  1451. > There came the sound of the front door opening.
  1452. > He was back already!
  1453. > You knew you'd never get another chance if he caught you.
  1454. > But you still hesitated. What you were about to do was final.
  1455. > You reached out for a memory to steel your resolve.
  1456. > Anon's red face, his twisted expression of cruel delight as he lashed you right on your teats.
  1457. > You didn't want to live in that world.
  1458. > Your eyes closed and you swung your head down as hard as you could.
  1459. > The glass pierced your neck.
  1460. > There was very little pain as warm blood spurted onto your legs.
  1461. > It quickly made you dizzy, almost as if you were drunk again.
  1462. > You opened your eyes and saw the red puddle growing.
  1463. > Feebly, you moved your hooves away. Even now, you didn't like touching blood.
  1464. > A piece of glass clattered against the tiles. You watched it in surprise.
  1465. > That was right, you remembered, you had used the broken bottle to cut yourself open.
  1466. > The thought slipped away again. It hurt now. Every heartbeat increased the pain.
  1467. > But not much longer. You vision was already going dark and shrinking, as if you were looking at the world from far away.
  1468. > "Lavender!"
  1469. > Your ear flicked toward the source of the yell.
  1470. > There was a faint impression of hands on your neck.
  1471. > "Shit, shit, shit! Don't do this! Don't die on me!"
  1472. > You didn't understand the words, but that was okay. They weren't important anymore.
  1473.  
  1474. > ~~~~
  1475.  
  1476. > Something changed. Something important was different after Lavender tried to kill herself.
  1477. > I didn't know it immediately, but there were hints. Flashes of memory.
  1478. > The way I feverishly gripped her neck, doing my best to hold her wound closed with slippery hands.
  1479. > How I smudged blood all over my phone when I called for help.
  1480. > I yelled at the EMTs when they learned they had come out for - what was to them - an animal.
  1481. > The grip I had on Lavender's hoof as we drove in the back of the emergency vehicle.
  1482. > The pacing in the vet's waiting room as I awaited news.
  1483. > She would live, someone told me. She hadn't damaged her artery severely enough to bleed out.
  1484. > She had been lucky that a glass bottle wasn't precise enough. She had missed.
  1485. > But all I really remembered was relief.
  1486. > They allowed me in the back after I had alternated between threats and pleading for a while.
  1487. > Then I just sat next to the simple cot on the floor, watching a clear liquid drip from an IV bag overhead.
  1488. > The pony seemed to sleep forever.
  1489. > I didn't care. People tried to shoo me away and send me home. But I refused.
  1490. > The night came, quiet and still. It allowed me to think.
  1491. > I began to understand a few things.
  1492. > Lavender would not leave my home.
  1493. > She would never finish her training. She was at once far stronger and more delicate than any pony I had met before.
  1494. > She would never be a slave. She had said as much, but this, her latest action, proved it beyond doubt.
  1495. > I no longer wanted her to be a slave.
  1496. > I would buy her from my client. I had enough. I hadn't had a real use for money since I started this line of work.
  1497. > Lavender shifted and all my thoughts evaporated. I watched her face for any sign of waking up.
  1498. > The eyes opened. Then focused on me.
  1499. > I smiled in relief, but it died on my face.
  1500. > There was nothing left in there. Hope, anger, fear, love - no emotion in Lavender's eyes.
  1501. > "I failed," the pony said flatly.
  1502. "You were lucky," I told her. "You scared me, Lavender."
  1503. > She seemed to think it over. At long last, her eyes closed once more.
  1504. > "I want it to end."
  1505. "Don't talk like that. It's going to be okay."
  1506. > "It won't. I just want it to be over," she said. "You shouldn't have saved me. I'll just do it again."
  1507. "I won't let you."
  1508. > She thought about this. "You can't watch me every second. I only have to succeed once."
  1509. "Damn it, Lavender, that's enough. Stop talking about... that!"
  1510. > Still no expression on her face. "No, Master," she said. "Sell me to those people. For the movie. Let them have their fun. Please."
  1511. > The very idea made me ill.
  1512. "That's horrible. I'm not going to do that!"
  1513. > "Then I'll finish it myself."
  1514. > Her voice was full of conviction. I didn't doubt that she would try.
  1515. "Please don't talk like that. I don't want you to die."
  1516. > Now there was a sliver of anger in the pony. She raised her head and glared.
  1517. > "I don't care what you want. I can't live like this. I WON'T!"
  1518. > I couldn't believe how much she hated the idea of slavery. Her voice was dripping with venom.
  1519. > "My only regret is that I gave in. That I tired to serve you. You're nothing but scum. All you did was lie and hurt me."
  1520. > She paused for breath, then went right on. "I'll never obey again! I'll kill myself just to get away from you!"
  1521. > I reached out my hand to try and pet her mane, but she snapped her jaws at me. She was too slow with all the drugs still in her body and I managed to get my hand away from her teeth.
  1522. > There was a warning in her eyes and I had no doubt she would bite me.
  1523. > "Don't touch me!" she hissed. "You might as well beat me to death. I'm done cooperating!"
  1524. "Lavender-"
  1525. > She just turned her face away and laid her head down, completely ignoring my presence.
  1526. > I considered petting her again, but I knew she would make good on her threat. If she exerted herself too much, she might tear out her stitches.
  1527. > I didn't know what else to do, so I left. The night shift doctor took my credit card information and address and promised they would deliver Lavender once she was well enough to be moved.
  1528. > I was spent, but I remembered I still had a puddle of blood to clean up.
  1529. > Lavender's blood.
  1530.  
  1531. > ~~~~
  1532.  
  1533. > They muzzled you when they dragged you back to that house, even though you didn't fight them. It was standard procedure, they had said.
  1534. > You didn't care. Even when Anon took your leash, you just stood there, waiting for the next thing to happen.
  1535. > Finding another opportunity to end your own life would be hard, you knew that.
  1536. > But it was the only thing you had left to look forward to. You would find a way.
  1537. > Or maybe Anon would grow angry again and beat you to death this time. That would also be acceptable.
  1538. > You could wait a while longer.
  1539. > He had to physically drag you to your chamber, but you noted he hadn't even raised his voice.
  1540. > The human was being nice again. It changed nothing, but you didn't snap at him when he removed your muzzle and halter.
  1541. > He locked you in the room and immediately you saw some alterations. There were no more hooks in the walls. The rack with whips was gone. And there, beside your bed, was a small, wooden table with a plate of fruit.
  1542. > You glared at it for a while, then resolutely turned away. Starvation would also work, if you could fight your own body's instincts long enough.
  1543. > Worth a shot.
  1544. > You lay on the floor, waiting for something to happen.
  1545. > It took most of the day, but your slaver finally came to check on you.
  1546. > "Feeling better?" he asked with a fake smile.
  1547. > You said nothing. The human saw you hadn't touched your food.
  1548. > "You should eat something. It'll make you feel better."
  1549. > Silence.
  1550. > "Would you like to watch a movie with me?"
  1551. > You wouldn't dignify that with a response. You just watched him mutely. After a while he sat down on the floor in front of you.
  1552. > "Tell me about your parents," he prompted.
  1553. > As if that would work. You just closed your eyes, but you kept your ears on him. If he tried to touch you he'd regret it.
  1554. > "You said your father is the Royal Potion maker. Was that what first got you interested in herbalism?"
  1555. > He was obviously determined to have a conversation with you, even if he had to hold up your side of the dialog, too.
  1556. > "Did you get to meet the ruling family often? What were they called again?"
  1557. > From his perspective, you might as well have been asleep. But Anon just kept going.
  1558. > "Cadence something, right? And the king was - wait, lemme think - Shiny Armor? That's a soldier's name if I ever heard one."
  1559. > Despite all your efforts, your heart beat a little faster at the memory of their wedding. It had made the entire city swell with emotion.
  1560. > But you didn't show any of it on your face.
  1561. > The human didn't stop. "I still don't quite understand why you ran away. You said you didn't want the attention and pressure of becoming the Royal Apothecary after your father. But couldn't have you just declined?"
  1562. > It was a sore point, not least because it had left you outside of your Princess' protection. Had you remained in the Crystal Empire, you would still be free.
  1563. > You shifted your position slightly, which seemed to encourage Anon. He began to talk faster.
  1564. > "Anyway, I understand wanting to run away from your responsibilities. I did that, too. After my- after the accident, I just wanted to be left alone. I didn't want to deal with the funeral or the lawyers or anything like that."
  1565. > He knew the minutiae of your life, but you still didn't even know what had happened in that accident.
  1566. > It served to remind you of the place you would always occupy with the human.
  1567. > "I also felt depressed. A few times I thought about- you know. Ending it. But I made it through."
  1568. > "I'll make sure you do, too. You'll be okay, Lavender, you'll see."
  1569. > Finally, it was too much. You lifted your head and turned it to look at him.
  1570. "Get out!"
  1571. > "Please eat something. You've lost a lot of blood-"
  1572. "GET OUT!"
  1573. > It worked. He slowly climbed up to his feet and left.
  1574. > Soon, your heart slowed down again and you were able to relax once more.
  1575. > You glanced at the plate of food, but dismissed it again.
  1576. > All you had to do was wait for your freedom.
  1577.  
  1578. > ~~~~
  1579.  
  1580. > I didn't know what to do. Lavender was worse than ever. She completely refused to eat and drink. She didn't move, unless I physically dragged her and she refused to talk to me.
  1581. > She tried to bite me whenever I came near enough.
  1582. > The lack of water had made her so weak that I was able to force some food down her, but she still fought me over every morsel.
  1583. > I was beginning to worry she would die on me.
  1584. > The pony was suffering and I couldn't stand to watch it.
  1585. > She didn't believe my words that this time it was different. That there would be no more punishments, no more training.
  1586. > I couldn't blame her, not after her past experiences with me.
  1587. > The pressure really got to me. I hardly ate and slept myself.
  1588. > I needed something to steady my nerves, at least for a while. I knocked down a few beers because I didn't have anything stronger in the house.
  1589. > It helped, but it wasn't enough to make me stop thinking. Nor did I want it to be. I couldn't afford to give Lavender the chance she was waiting for.
  1590. > At my wits' end, I got a stupid, desperate idea, fueled by alcohol.
  1591. > There were a couple of beers left. I took them to Lavender's room.
  1592. > She was still lying in the middle, but she raised her head to watch me suspiciously.
  1593. > I hadn't gotten more than a few words out of her since she got back from the vet.
  1594. > The bottles clinked as I arranged them on the side. Then I sat down before her, cross-legged.
  1595. > She glanced at the beer and for a moment I saw curiosity.
  1596. > The pony hadn't been expecting this. I took it as a good sign.
  1597. "Okay, here's what's going to happen: We'll have a nice drink to help us relax, and then we'll talk."
  1598. > She had already lost interest and turned her head away. Lavender had nothing more to say to me.
  1599. "Please, just give it a chance. Drink it, talk a little. And if you still want to die, I'll take you to the vet and have you put down humanely, deal?"
  1600. > Her head snapped back and she watched me incredulously.
  1601. > I saw that she really wanted it, more than anything in the world. It made my heart break.
  1602. > But she didn't trust me. She thought it was some kind of a trick.
  1603. "I promise."
  1604. > Her gaze shifted to the bottle. It took her a long time to decide.
  1605. > "Fine," she said, apparently resigned.
  1606. > Before she could change her mind, I opened a beer and placed it before her. I grabbed one for myself as well.
  1607. > The pony put her mouth on the neck and deftly lifted it upright. I watched the liquid drain from the bottle.
  1608. > It was about half-empty when she put it back down. Then she looked at me expectantly. She was silent.
  1609. > I took a swig myself, more to show her I would cooperate than out of actual need. I was already pleasantly buzzed from before.
  1610. "Tell me how you feel," I asked to break the ice.
  1611. > She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Don't," she said, her voice tired.
  1612. "Okay, would you like to talk about the past, then? Your friends or your parents?"
  1613. > Her grimace told me all I needed to know. "Pass," she confirmed.
  1614. "Then what?"
  1615. > The pony was at a loss. But I could see she was trying to think of something. She really wanted the death I had promised her. She was staring at the beer as she considered.
  1616. > Finally, her eyes focused on me again. "You," she said.
  1617. "What?"
  1618. > "Tell me about yourself."
  1619. > I really didn't want to bring up my past. But I had given her the choice. I knew if I said no, Lavender would just shut down again.
  1620. "Okay, what do you want to know?"
  1621. > Maybe I could get away with a few facts and childhood memories.
  1622. > But the pony had other intentions. "The accident. Tell me about that."
  1623. > It was a painful topic, so I took another long swig of the beer to help me relax.
  1624. "I used to have a pony..." I began.
  1625. > I caught Lavender's confused look.
  1626. "I mean as a pet. The first pony I had. My daughter begged and begged after she had seen one on TV. It was right up when the whole thing started."
  1627. > "The war," the mare said quietly. "Slavery."
  1628. "Yeah, but I didn't see it that way. Not then. They were captured and brought here. The- civilians... they didn't have a military use, so they were sold on auctions to get some money in. Indentured servitude they called it."
  1629. > I remembered trying to work out how any of it was legal. But if the government said so, it must be, right?
  1630. "Anyway, the idea was that after the war such servants would eventually buy back their freedom through work."
  1631. > Talking about it made Lavender sad, but I took it as progress. Any emotion was better than none, right?
  1632. > "What was her name?"
  1633. "Pearl Shine."
  1634. > The memory of those early days brought a smile to my face. For a while, we have been happy.
  1635. > Lavender was curious now, I could see that. But she refrained from asking, letting me continue at my own pace.
  1636. > I took the bottle again and emptied it. The next part would be difficult. I couldn't tell her everything, but I would sure as hell remember it.
  1637. "Anyway, things were fine for a while. But then there was an accident."
  1638. > I barely registered that the pony had placed a hoof on my knee.
  1639. "There was a fire... Melissa- my wife. And Sara. They didn't make it."
  1640. > Even after all this time, as hard as I had tried to get past it, the mere thought was enough to get my eyes wet again.
  1641. > I saw Lavender staring at my face, but I couldn't make out her expression. I took a long, shuddering breath and went on.
  1642. "Pearl survived. Badly burned, but she lived."
  1643. > That was all I could bring myself to say. For a while, Lavender waited for me to continue.
  1644. > "That's it?" she asked.
  1645. "Well, I fell into depression. They put me in a facility and they took Pearl away. There isn't much more to tell."
  1646. > Gears were grinding in the pony's head.
  1647. > "Let me get this straight - there was an accident and you lost your family. You went insane. And now you're torturing ponies into slavery as a coping mechanism?"
  1648. > The way she put it sounded awful.
  1649. "Don't say it like that."
  1650. > I almost growled that and quickly opened another bottle. I was hoping more drink would take the edge off.
  1651. > "I don't understand how you go from one to the other. Did Pearl cause the fire?"
  1652. "No."
  1653. > "What then? Why do you hate us so much? What's the thing you're not telling me?"
  1654. > The pony was getting too close to my secret. I knew I couldn't let her find out.
  1655. "That's enough," I said. "There's nothing more to tell. Drop it."
  1656. > I had to stop talking. The beer was a good excuse, so I put it to my lips and slowly drained it.
  1657. > That bought me nearly a full minute. Luckily, the pony just waited in silence.
  1658. > I put the empty bottle down, a little unsteadily and fixed the mare with my glare.
  1659. "Your turn. Tell me why you ran away from your life."
  1660. > She hadn't been expecting that. But the alcohol must have been working, because she actually answered.
  1661. > "I don't really know. It was too much. They expected me to be this amazing alchemist, just because of who my parents were."
  1662. > She also took a swig from her bottle, neatly lifting it with her mouth and placing it back down without spilling a drop.
  1663. > "I got scared. I knew I could never fulfill those expectations and I didn't want to let everypony down when I failed."
  1664. > Lavender was looking away, clearly ashamed.
  1665. > "I just ran away. It seemed like the easiest thing to do. I always planned I'd go back some day, but by that time they would have chosen someone else for the position. I'd be in the clear."
  1666. "Yeah, responsibility is a bitch," I agreed.
  1667. > A thought made me grin.
  1668. "You know. In a way, we were both running from our past."
  1669. > She thought this over. "I guess so." She obviously didn't agree, but she was humoring me.
  1670. "Let's drink to it."
  1671. > I held my beer out. After a moment, she picked up her own bottle and clinked it against mine.
  1672. > We both emptied our drinks. I reached over to get a couple of fresh ones, but there were no more.
  1673. "Hold on, I have a six pack in the garage."
  1674. > I got up, unsteadily and was about to leave. But I remembered Lavender's deathwish.
  1675. > Bending down, I collected all the bottles. Best not to give her an opportunity.
  1676. > She just watched me. If she was sad to lose the chance, the pony didn't show it.
  1677. > I was back quickly with the pack of beer. I liberated two cans, cracked them open and placed one before Lavender.
  1678. > She watched it for a while, trying to figure out how to lift it. In the end, she sat up and grabbed the can between her hooves.
  1679. > This time she spilled a lot of it, but some made it into her mouth.
  1680. > "Yuck," she said. "Look what you made me do."
  1681. > I laughed uncontrollably.
  1682. "Don't worry, I'll give you a shower after."
  1683. > I was definitely feeling the drink. From the looks of it, Lavender was in a slightly better mood as well.
  1684. > Hell, she was more engaged than at any point since she got back.
  1685. > "I can wash myself," she said firmly.
  1686. "No way. I don't wanna risk you trying to drown yourself."
  1687. > That reminded her about my promise and her face fell.
  1688. > Shit, that was a bad move.
  1689. > "You said if I still wanted it, you'd let me die," she said. I could tell it wasn't a question. It was an accusation. She was staring right into my eyes, daring me to break my promise.
  1690. > I thought fast.
  1691. "I did. But I don't want you to die."
  1692. > The pony hung her head. "I don't want this kind of life. However comfortable you claim it is."
  1693. "Things will change."
  1694. > She was disappointed, judging by her frown. And perhaps a little angry.
  1695. > "You promised."
  1696. "I know. I'm sorry, but I can't let you do that."
  1697. > She resolutely turned away from me. "Go."
  1698. "I'm not leaving."
  1699. > "Fine." Her voice was resigned once again. Flat and emotionless.
  1700. > I leaned in and put a hand on her flank. I was expecting the kick and I caught her hoof, despite the drink in my belly.
  1701. > Her other leg caught me on my wrist, but I managed to keep my hold. I dragged the pony closer.
  1702. > She twisted to try and bite me, but I slapped her face out of the way, just in time. Her eyes were full of fury and her mouth was open in a vicious snarl.
  1703. > I quickly wrapped my arms around her barrel and pressed her into my chest. I faced her away to avoid her teeth.
  1704. > She slammed her head back, but I barely felt the pain. A dribble of blood from my nose stained her gray coat. I kept my hold on her.
  1705. > The pony tried for another head butt, giving me a chance to shift my grip. I moved my arms higher, embracing her neck while I wrapped my legs around her lower body. The angle was too awkward for her to bite.
  1706. > In a few moments she was completely immobilized. It didn't stop her from struggling, but I had my drunken strength on my side.
  1707. > She grunted as she tried to free herself, but within a minute Lavender tired herself out.
  1708. > It was a good thing she was weak from hunger, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to hold her.
  1709. > "Let me go!" she screamed.
  1710. "No."
  1711. > She twisted and struggled again with renewed vigor, but I kept my hold, despite the protest of my muscles.
  1712. > It didn't last very long. Pretty soon the mare burst into tears.
  1713. > "I hate you," she sobbed.
  1714. "I know."
  1715. > I buried my head in her mane, nuzzling her neck. She tried a few times to wedge a hoof under my arms, but it was fruitless. The pony was unable to free herself from my grip.
  1716. > At long last, her struggles ceased and she turned on the waterworks on full blast.
  1717. > I felt hot tears dripping on my arms, but I just squeezed tighter.
  1718. > It took a long time for her to cry herself out. Once she was down to muffled sobbing, I spoke up again.
  1719. "I'm sorry for the things I did. I know you won't believe a word I say, but I promise things will change."
  1720. > She sniffed and her ears flattened. There was no more fight in her, but neither did she speak.
  1721. "I will change."
  1722.  
  1723. > ~~~~
  1724.  
  1725. > You opened your eyes and noticed that you were somehow upright. This was a surprise until you remembered what had happened.
  1726. > Then your cheeks colored in shame. Falling asleep in Anon's arms had been unthinkable, but exhaustion, hunger and alcohol had worked their insidious magic.
  1727. > You tried to gauge how long you had slept.
  1728. > Your only source of time was the small window. It had been late afternoon when the human came into your room. Now the sky outside was dark.
  1729. > Anon's endurance was surprising. You knew he wasn't asleep because his hand was playing with your mane. But maybe he was distracted. He *had* to be tired by now. You wriggled your body to try and free yourself.
  1730. > His arms and legs around your body quickly tightened, but it just made you fight harder. You tried to get purchase on the human's arms with your hooves again, but you couldn't get any leverage.
  1731. > You tried to twist your head to bite, but you couldn't bend your neck that way.
  1732. > The sheer helplessness was driving you crazy. Your legs were shaking uncontrollably and you had to focus to make them stop. Going into a panic wouldn't help you anymore than it did earlier.
  1733. > And all the struggling was quickly undoing any good the nap might have done.
  1734. > You forced yourself to take a breath and think.
  1735. > One unhelpful fact quickly rose to the surface: the situation was stupid!
  1736. > All you had wanted was to be left alone until you could find a way to die.
  1737. > His unwelcome hug, if it could even be called that at this point, left you without any idea how to respond.
  1738. > Anon wasn't exactly hurting you, but it was uncomfortable because you hated the human. And it was confusing because you were starting to like it.
  1739. > You quickly squashed that thought. You didn't want to accept it. You couldn't trust that monster. It was probably some new tactic to make you submit.
  1740. > He wanted you to feel better. You had to want to live, otherwise his punishments and threats held no power over you.
  1741. > You didn't want that to happen. You didn't want to go back to hope. You knew it would just be crushed once again.
  1742. > There was nothing to it. You just had to outlast the human.
  1743. > However long he stayed like that, you would wait longer. However weird it got, you would endure.
  1744. > Except...
  1745. > There was pressure in your bladder from the beer. Maybe you could use it to free yourself?
  1746. "Let me go, Anon. I need to pee."
  1747. > You felt his head shake slowly. It made you groan in exasperation.
  1748. "Release me or I'll do it right here!"
  1749. > A shrug.
  1750. > A shrug?!
  1751. > You hadn't really meant your threat, but his cavalier attitude made you reconsider.
  1752. > You forced your body to relax. Soon you felt warmth spread down the back of your legs.
  1753. > It went right on his lap, all over his precious clothes. It was absolutely disgusting, but you were sure it would make him release you.
  1754. > You felt the human shaking. Your heart began to beat faster.
  1755. > If he was angry enough he would punish you. You remembered the beating after you had vomited on Anon. Would this be worse?
  1756. > You steeled your resolve. At this point you would accept that just to make him let you go.
  1757. > A sound escaped his throat and you froze.
  1758. > Was he.. laughing?
  1759. > You couldn't hold back a growl.
  1760. "You unbelievable, insufferable, miserable..."
  1761. > You didn't know a word strong enough to finish that sentence. You sought for an appropriate human expression.
  1762. "... fucker!"
  1763. > It felt good.
  1764. > But it only made Anon laugh harder.
  1765. "What the... fuck is wrong with you? Are you insane?!"
  1766. > You had to admit. The foul language helped. You tried again.
  1767. "Sick, twisted bastard! I hope Celestia sends you to fucking Tartarus."
  1768. > It shouldn't make you feel better, but somehow it did. Cursing at Anon brought relief. Letting your frustration out eased some of the tension you had been feeling.
  1769. > Feeling a little calmer, you examined the situation you were in.
  1770. > A human slaver was forcibly spooning you. You had smashed his nose and peed his pants, but he was cackling like it was the funniest thing he had ever seen.
  1771. > He was still drunk. You hoped. How else could you explain his behavior?
  1772. > And now you were cursing at him, using the worst insults from both your worlds.
  1773. > It was ridiculous. You wanted it to end, right now!
  1774. "Okay. Okay. Please let me go, Anon. I won't bite you, I promise."
  1775. > No response.
  1776. "Please. This is stupid. What do you want me to say?"
  1777. > His head was still buried in your mane and his voice came out muffled. "Promise you won't kill yourself."
  1778. > Your mouth tightened. Even now, the human tried to manipulate you. You didn't want to make that promise.
  1779. > He added after a while: "One day. Please, Lavender."
  1780. > You could stand one more day. You knew what he was trying to do. He thought that if you waited too long, your resolve would waver.
  1781. > Would it? Talking with Anon was making it harder to want death. You blew air forcefully out through your nose.
  1782. > Buck him! Always more of his mind games!
  1783. > All you had to do was hold on to your anger.
  1784. "Fine! One day."
  1785. > That finally worked. The grip around your midriff relaxed, followed by the pressure on your neck.
  1786. > His arms fell limply by his side and the human slumped back.
  1787. > You turned to him. Had he just lost consciousness or fell asleep? Had you made your promise in vain?
  1788. > No, he was still looking at you, a faint smile on his lips.
  1789. > Your nose wrinkled. There was a large damp patch on his pants and it smelled bad.
  1790. > You almost apologized, but managed to keep your mouth shut. He had deserved it and you didn't want to show weakness.
  1791. > The only problem was your backside. You didn't want to put up with the smell, even if it was your last day. Especially if it was your last day.
  1792. "I'll go shower."
  1793. > He didn't seem to mind. His hand reached for a can of beer. You heard him open in and start drinking as you were walking out.
  1794. > He paused for a second to speak. "Downstairs shower's on the fritz. Use the upstairs bathroom." Then he went right back to his alcohol.
  1795. > One more day, you reminded yourself. That was all you had to get through.
  1796. > Then you would die, somehow.
  1797. > Funny, you were no longer looking forward to it. It was just something you had to do. A chore.
  1798. > Were you losing your determination already? Were you that easy to manipulate?
  1799. > The conflict you felt made you growl in frustration.
  1800. > You hated what Anon was doing to you. Buck him, buck this life and buck this entire world!
  1801. > It didn't ease turmoil you felt, so you pushed it aside and focused on the here and now. You were at the top of the stairs and just realizing you didn't know which door was the bathroom.
  1802. > Anon had never allowed you to come up here. He didn't trust you to clean his room yet.
  1803. > You felt your mouth twist in distaste. That was how little he thought of you. What secrets was he hiding that he didn't want you to find?
  1804. > Just to spite him, you decided to look.
  1805. > The first door was some kind of storage. There were cardboard boxes, but none of them had labels. They looked heavy, especially without your magic, so you left them for later.
  1806. > The door opposite that was the bathroom. That could also wait. You still wanted to wash the stink off your fur, but now it was a secondary desire.
  1807. > Third door was the jackpot. Anon's bedroom.
  1808. > You hesitated for a second, then scoffed at yourself. So what if he caught you? Maybe he'd get mad enough to kill you this time.
  1809. > Walking to the middle of the room, you looked around. It seemed to have all the human necessities.
  1810. > A bed. Unmade, of course. Dresser. Wardrobe. Desk. Window.
  1811. > There was a box in the corner which caught your eye. It was the only thing in the room with a layer of dust, as if it had been put there and never opened.
  1812. > The other pieces of furniture all matched in style, but not the chest. It looked out of place, so you went to inspect it closer.
  1813. > It was a brown thing, made of wood. You saw it had a padlock, but there was no key in sight.
  1814. > Experimentally, you tried opening it. The lid moved a fraction of an inch, but then the lock stopped it.
  1815. > It looked sturdy. You didn't think there was any way to get inside without your magic.
  1816. > Or the key. I had to be somewhere.
  1817. > And just like that it had become an obsession. Anon had secrets, you knew that. And you were sure at least some of the answers were in that box.
  1818. > You were fine with dying, but now you wanted - no, needed - to know what the human was hiding.
  1819. > And you no longer cared about the punishments. That made it a lot easier.
  1820. > It was strangely liberating.
  1821. > Where would Anon hide the key for something important? Even after all this time, you didn't know him at all. You had no idea. But you didn't let that deter you.
  1822. > You decided to start with the wardrobe. Quickly you dragged out all its contents you could reach.
  1823. > Why did the human need so many pieces of clothing anyway?
  1824. > The top shelves gave you some trouble until you remembered to pull the chair from the table over and clamber onto it. Various shirts joined the pile on the floor.
  1825. > Jumping down, you lifted each piece of clothing with your mouth and shook it. No key fell from a pocket.
  1826. > You looked around again. The room was already a mess. It felt good, like petty revenge. On a whim you decided to trash the room as much as you could.
  1827. > Maybe you needed him to understand that there were no more rules. No more nice pony. And if the act enraged him enough to kill you, so much the better.
  1828. > Or maybe you were just being foalish. You didn't really care. Whatever it was, it felt good. For the first time since you've met Anon, you really felt free. His rules didn't affect you anymore.
  1829. > You went for the bed next. The sheets resisted, but you pulled harder and they ripped. Then, with some effort, you dragged the mattress to the floor.
  1830. > No key was hidden under it, not that you had been expecting it.
  1831. > Only the dresser and the desk were left. Choosing the former, you pulled the top drawer open and rummaged through it.
  1832. > It was full of junk. Bits of paper, an old belt, key fobs, old electronic devices and other miscellaneous items all ended up on the floor.
  1833. > The second drawer was more of the same. You dragged it out all the way and dumped it on the floor. Then you kicked through the stuff, but no key was to be found.
  1834. > Finally, the lowest drawer had a bunch of papers. You dug them out with your hooves and threw them around a little to make sure there was nothing in them.
  1835. > Only one place was left. You pushed the chair back and hopped right up on the desk. Your hooves knocked over a pencil cup and you searched through it. Then you shuffled some papers to look underneath.
  1836. > You glanced at the titles, but all you saw were bills.
  1837. > The top one caught your eye. It was the receipt from the vet where they had treated you.
  1838. > You didn't know much about human currency, but the number seemed large. You scanned the other papers to find some reference. Electricity and water didn't tell you much, but there was an order for the alchemy set which the human had bought you.
  1839. > The numbers were disproportional. It was hard to wrap your head around them. You did some quick division in your head to get a feel for how much your treatment had cost Anon.
  1840. > You couldn't believe the result, so you did it again.
  1841. > Your rear hit the table as you stared in shock.
  1842. > That much money... just how well would Anon get paid for your obedience?
  1843. > It would explain his dedication.
  1844. > As much as you hated the idea, at least you were a valuable slave.
  1845. > But you still hadn't found what you were looking for. The desk had no drawers, so you started to think where else it could be.
  1846. > You didn't really want to search the entire house.
  1847. > Maybe the human had the key with him?
  1848. > You decided to go check. He had looked pretty out of it earlier and when you had left he was drinking again. With luck, Anon would be asleep.
  1849. > A few minutes later you found the fearsome monster exactly where you had left him. He was asleep, his hand still clutching the empty can.
  1850. > He was helpless. You briefly considered stomping his head in.
  1851. > The other humans would find you and surely put you down.
  1852. > But even now you knew you'd never be able to bring yourself to kill. You didn't have it in you, not even after all that's happened.
  1853. > Instead, you poked at his clothes.
  1854. > Something jingled in his pants. You couldn't get it out without fingers, but you didn't need such finesse. You simply grabbed the flap of cloth in your teeth and pulled.
  1855. > The fabric ripped and spilled a keyring onto the tiles.
  1856. > One of those keys had to be the right one.
  1857. > "Huh? Lav'der?" the human asked, groggily.
  1858. > You froze, hoping he wouldn't wake up completely.
  1859. > After a few moments, he tried to pet you but you stepped out of the way. Anon's nose wrinkled.
  1860. > "Y' stink. Goget a shower," he mumbled.
  1861. > You were happy to oblige, but first you had to make one more stop.
  1862. > The human's secrets would be yours - your final act of defiance.
  1863. > Then you could die happy. That was what you wanted, right?
  1864.  
  1865. > ~~~~
  1866.  
  1867. > I woke up on the tiles, sore and uncomfortable. The headache wasn't bad, but my mouth felt like a sewer and my pants were wet. Yuck.
  1868. > An empty can of beer was still in my hand. That explained the taste in my mouth. And also the pressure in my bladder.
  1869. > As fast as I could shuffle I made my way to the bathroom and prevented a very messy bladder explosion.
  1870. > Once the discomfort faded I remembered Lavender.
  1871. > The pony was nowhere to be seen. She had promised she wouldn't kill herself, but I didn't know if I could trust her word. She was depressed and unpredictable.
  1872. > Maybe she was already lying somewhere in a puddle of blood with a knife through her throat.
  1873. > The mental image was horrifying and brought me out in cold sweat.
  1874. "Lavender?"
  1875. > I hurried back to her room. I had just come from there, but I wanted to be sure.
  1876. > There was no pony corpse in the kitchen. No pool of blood in the living room. Lavender's room was also empty.
  1877. > It was a small relief, and I began to breathe a little easier, but there were still many opportunities in the rest of the house.
  1878. > I had just come from the bathroom and with no Lavender in the hallway, that only left upstairs.
  1879. > She was not allowed there, but I knew that wouldn't stop her. Not anymore.
  1880. > Maybe - the thought scared the crap out of me - she had decided to prepare a nasty little surprise on my own bed. A final act of revenge?
  1881. > I took the stairs two at a time. The bedroom door was ajar; a fact that barely registered as I burst through it.
  1882. > Please don't be dead, please don't be dead! I was so focused on my mantra that I almost didn't notice the state of my bedroom.
  1883. > It was wrecked.
  1884. > Clothes and random junk strewn across the floor.
  1885. > Bed completely ripped apart.
  1886. > Papers everywhere.
  1887. > And a pony.
  1888. > I quickly waded through the mess on the floor and slid to my knees. I put my hands on the pony and felt that she was alive. In relief, I exhaled a breath I hadn't even known I was holding.
  1889. > I didn't care about the mess in the room, or Lavender's reasons for making it. I was just happy she hadn't killed herself.
  1890. > I awkwardly wrapped my arms around her neck and buried my face in her mane.
  1891. "Oh, thank God, Lavender. I was worried you-"
  1892. > The words caught in my throat as I noticed she was trembling in my arms.
  1893. "Lavender?"
  1894. > There was no reply. I pushed myself away so I could see her face. She was staring fixedly at something.
  1895. > I followed her gaze.
  1896. > Oh.
  1897. > My secret. The thing I never let anyone see, especially a pony.
  1898. > She had found it.
  1899. > My hand went to my pocket and I felt it was ripped open.
  1900. > I realized the mare must have been looking for the key while I slept. She had found it and unlocked the chest.
  1901. > And she had read the newspaper articles. She had seen the photos. More importantly, the journal was open before her.
  1902. > I should never have written the thing.
  1903. > Shrink had said it was a good idea. Maybe he was even right and it had helped a little.
  1904. > But I should have burned it a long time ago.
  1905. > I pushed myself away from the pony.
  1906. > The things I had written there would give Lavender a look into a very dark part of my past.
  1907. > She slowly turned her head to me. "This is why," she said in a calm, composed voice.
  1908. > All I could do was nod.
  1909. > She reached out her hoof and gently pushed the journal away. There was a plastic case underneath.
  1910. > It was a DVD. Another thing I should never have kept.
  1911. > "I want to see this," she said. Her tone was soft, but it wasn't a request. It was a command.
  1912. > I really didn't want her to see that video. But I looked into her eyes and felt my will melt away under the pony's scrutiny.
  1913. > She picked it up in her mouth and stood up. She walked to the door, then looked back.
  1914. > After a few seconds I followed her. It was like a daze. If Lavender hadn't led me to the living room, I would have gotten lost.
  1915. > She stopped in front of the TV and looked at me expectantly.
  1916. > I finally found my voice.
  1917. "Don't-"
  1918. > "Shuff up!" she mumbled around the case in her mouth. She laid it carefully on the floor and glared at me. Her calm was breaking and I could see the pony was angry.
  1919. > "I'm done listening to you. Now it's your turn to listen to me. Play it!"
  1920. "Lavender-"
  1921. > "Play the fucking disk!" she screamed at me.
  1922. > I took the case in my shaking hands and opened it. I considered just breaking the damn thing. It would be better than to show it.
  1923. > But instead, I took the DVD and put it in the player.
  1924. > Maybe Lavender deserved the truth, I thought.
  1925. > I took the remote, turned on the TV and let it run. But I kept my eyes on the pony. I already knew what the screen would show, after all. What I didn't know was how she would take it.
  1926. > ...
  1927. > There was a dark blue pegasus tied around her barrel to a wooden chair. Her feathers were melted and twisted. Most of them were burned beyond recognition. Her mane - what was left of it - had once been blond.
  1928. > Her coat had large, bald patches where her fur had been burned off.
  1929. > Her left hoof, laid on the armrest, was blackened and cracked.
  1930. > The pony looked like she had been worked over by a medieval torturer. But nothing could compare to her eyes.
  1931. > Her haunted gaze made it seem as if she had been to hell and back.
  1932. > A voice spoke out in the recording. My voice.
  1933. "Let's go over this again, Pearl."
  1934. > It was way calmer than it had any right to be.
  1935. "Tell me what happened."
  1936. > Her voice was broken and tired. Her eyes were sunken and puffy. She had been crying, but there didn't seem to be any more tears left.
  1937. > Her golden eyes became unfocused and her head slumped.
  1938. > "I told you everything I remember, A-anon. Please don't-"
  1939. "PLEASE?!" the me in the video yelled. "'Please' didn't work on you, did it?"
  1940. > The pony sniffed, but said nothing.
  1941. "Tell me again!"
  1942. > Her voice was shaking badly, but she talked anyway.
  1943. > "We w-were cutting the c-cake. I smelled smoke, but I t-thought it- it was just the candles. M-Mel asked what was burning. That's when I- when I noticed all the smoke."
  1944. > Pearl looked up and her pupils were shrunken to tiny dots as she relived her terror.
  1945. > "There was fire everywhere. I ran to the door, but the hall was full of fire. Mel told me to find another way out, but all I could hear was Sara c-crying."
  1946. > The mare rubbed her face with her hoof.
  1947. > "Mel yelled at me and I flew into the- in the window, managed to break it. I f-fell and twisted my wing. I couldn't fly anymore, but I climbed back up. They were screaming for me to help them."
  1948. > The younger Anon in the video had wrapped his arms around his head.
  1949. > Pearl was begging: "Please don't make me remember, please Ano-"
  1950. "GO ON!"
  1951. > She whimpered and closed her eyes. Her breath came quickly and erratically and her pleading became more urgent.
  1952. > "Celestia, I tried. You have to believe me, Anon, I tried! But the heat was too much, I couldn't go back in. The fire was spreading too fast. You have to believe me!"
  1953. > She started crying again, fresh tears forcing themselves out of her eyes. For several seconds, all the pony could do was sob uncontrollably. Her whole body shook.
  1954. > At long last, she was able to continue.
  1955. > "I saw it. The b-beam that f-fell on Melissa. There was nothing I could do."
  1956. "Tell me about Sara."
  1957. > The mare shook her head violently, as if trying to dislodge the memory. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut and put both hooves over her face.
  1958. > "No, no. Don't make me, please. I can't- I CAN'T!"
  1959. > A smack rang out as the Anon in the recording slapped the pony.
  1960. "Tell me about Sara," he repeated, quietly.
  1961. > But she just cried harder.
  1962. > I saw that Lavender's face was also covered with tears. She was trembling in fear, but she couldn't look away from the screen.
  1963. > Another slap sounded from the video.
  1964. "SAY IT!"
  1965. > Finally, the pegasus screamed out her response. "I watched her burn! ANON! I WATCHED A CHILD BURN ALIVE, IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT ME TO SAY?!"
  1966. > Her pained shout echoed around the room. The silence was broken only by her renewed sobbing and a small whimper from Lavender.
  1967. > The Anon in the video picked up large pliers.
  1968. "Did they call you back? Did they beg for help?"
  1969. > The pegasus seemed defeated. Her head hung limply and her chest was heaving.
  1970. > After a short time, she nodded slowly. "Yes. I hear them every night. I hear their voices!"
  1971. "And did you go back and help them?"
  1972. > Now the pony feebly shook her head. "I couldn't. It was too hot. I tried, Anon. I tried! But I couldn't do it! I would have died in there too."
  1973. "You should have!"
  1974. > The hatred in that voice made Lavender take a step back. I quickly stopped the video before the pliers could be put to use on the pegasus' wings.
  1975. > It was finally out. The betrayal that had started it all. Pearl Shine had been a friend. Someone I had trusted.
  1976. > Only on paper had she been a slave, but in actuality she had been a part of the family.
  1977. > After the war, we were going to take her home. We were going to visit Equestria together.
  1978. > She had wanted to show her home town to Sara. It was built on a cloud, of all things!
  1979. > And then she had winged herself to safety, leaving my family to burn alive.
  1980. "I tortured her for months," I said flatly, unable to stop myself. In a way, it was a relief to finally be able to say it.
  1981. > Lavender turned to look on me. Her mouth was open in horror. I saw her muscles tense and I thought she would bolt.
  1982. > At the very least, I expected her to get away from me. Not that I would blame her.
  1983. > Instead, her expression hardened. She took a deep breath and blew it out through her flaring nostrils.
  1984. > "It wasn't her fault!" she said at last, glaring at me.
  1985. "She should have done something!"
  1986. > "You saw how badly she was burned! It was too late! What could she possibly have done?"
  1987. "Something!"
  1988. > The pony before me was dumbstruck. She stepped closer and peered intently at my face.
  1989. > Her expression softened and a tear ran down her fur. I felt it land on my hand.
  1990. > "You didn't see it," she whispered as realization dawned in her eyes.
  1991. "See what?"
  1992. > She let out a shuddering breath. "The guilt in her eyes. The horror. The loss!"
  1993. > "It hurt her just as much as it did you. She had lost her family, too."
  1994. > We just stared at each other, motionless. The picture on the screen was frozen, showing the pegasus with an expression of cowardice on her face.
  1995. > I made myself look again.
  1996. > No, that wasn't cowardice. It wasn't the look of a mare afraid for her life.
  1997. > It was the look of someone who had lost everything.
  1998. > I scrambled for the remote and shut it off. I didn't want to believe it. But it was already too late.
  1999. > Now that Lavender had shown me, I couldn't unsee.
  2000. > "What happened to her?" the pony asked.
  2001. "I tortured her. For months. Until there was nothing left."
  2002. > The pony shrank away from me, her eyes widening in fear.
  2003. "Until she wasn't herself anymore. I had to make her obey. If she had only followed Melissa's command, they might still be alive."
  2004. > Even I didn't believe it anymore. But I still tried to justify it.
  2005. "I swore I wouldn't let something like that happen again. A slave must obey every command without question or hesitation, no matter the cost."
  2006. > Lavender was just listening, unmoving. She was hardly even breathing.
  2007. "I tried to teach Pearl how to be obedient, but they came for me before I could finish. They put me in an institution. Said I had coping and anger issues."
  2008. "It gave me time to think. When I came out, I knew how to train good slaves."
  2009. > Lavender finally stirred. "I understand," she said. There was a deep sadness in her voice.
  2010. > "It was wrong, Anon. What you did was evil and wrong. But, Celestia help me, I understand it now."
  2011. > I didn't have any energy left. Seeing that video again. Remembering the tragedy. The institutionalization. It was a dark part of my past, not least because of what I had done to poor Pearl.
  2012. > I had been deluding myself into believing that I was teaching her. On some level, I had always known it was a lie.
  2013. > I've said the correct word to Lavender. It had been torture, nothing more. It had been revenge.
  2014. > Lavender was suddenly hugging me and I put my own arms around her. I held on desperately, as if for dear life.
  2015. > I had to say something.
  2016. "I'm sorry."
  2017. > She pushed herself away and I didn't try to hold her. "I don't hate you," she said.
  2018. "What?"
  2019. > A hoof slapped me across the face. It hurt; Lavender had put some strength into the blow. I rubbed my cheek and saw that the pony was glaring again.
  2020. > "You're a despicable person and I'll probably never forgive you for what you've done to me. And just thinking about all the others makes me sick."
  2021. > I knew I deserved every harsh word, so I didn't reply.
  2022. > But after a moment Lavender sat down and sighed. Her voice softened. "But I understand it."
  2023. > We looked at each other for a while.
  2024. > The pony was the first to speak. "What happens now."
  2025. "I don't know."
  2026. > "You need help. And I think I do, too."
  2027. "Do you still want to die?"
  2028. > She gave it some thought. Her eyes darted to the TV, which was now off, then back to me. She glanced back at her room, where an empty beer can was visible on the floor.
  2029. > Then she looked at my pants, where a faint patch of wetness was still visible.
  2030. > "No, I don't. Maybe knowing 'the why' helps. Or maybe I now believe you won't do it again."
  2031. "I wont."
  2032. > "No more training?" she asked.
  2033. "No more training."
  2034. > "What about your client? My... master?"
  2035. "I'll pay him off. I got enough money saved."
  2036. > She took another look around the room. "I don't want to stay here."
  2037. "We'll figure something out."
  2038. > That seemed to satisfy her, at least for the moment. She looked at my pants again and her nose wrinkled. "You stink."
  2039. "It's your fault."
  2040. > She rolled her eyes with an exasperated sigh. "Go get a shower and then go to bed, Anon. I'll take one after you."
  2041. "You ruined my bed."
  2042. > The pony almost looked guilty for a moment. "Yeah...."
  2043. "It's okay, I'll take yours."
  2044. > "I guess I'll have the couch, then," she said. "It's not that bad when you get used to it..."
  2045. > I leaned over and put my hand on her head. She didn't flinch away. We shared a quiet moment, then I stood up and went to take my shower.
  2046.  
  2047. > ~~~~
  2048. Remorse:
  2049.  
  2050. > You desperately tried to sort out your emotions. The world had become chaos and you struggled to understand it.
  2051. > It had been easy when Anon was just an evil slaver.
  2052. > But now you knew what had made him that way. Did that entitle him to forgiveness?
  2053. > You snorted and shook your head, spraying water around. Of course it didn't!
  2054. > But why did you feel like it should?
  2055. > You had been standing motionless in the shower, thinking, for a long time.
  2056. > The warm water was running out and you turned it off. Then you sat down, shivering from the cold which gripped you quickly, both inside and outside.
  2057. > Your heart bled for poor Pearl Shine.
  2058. > She had lost the people she cared about most. Yes, they had been family. The look in her eyes had confirmed that beyond doubt.
  2059. > The human was a monster and your stomach turned whenever you though about what he had done..
  2060. > And yet...
  2061. > You felt as if you almost understood. You couldn't; not really. You had never had children, or a spouse.
  2062. > But you tried to imagine.
  2063. > You laid down in the bathtub. The plastic felt like ice and your shivering got worse. Your hot tears were flowing freely now; a stark contrast to the cold you were trying to ignore.
  2064. > If it were you - if *your* family had burned and you met someone who could have saved them but didn't, what would you have done?
  2065. > Of course that wasn't what had happened. Pearl didn't choose to abandon her family. But it was what Anon had believed and you needed to imagine it that way.
  2066. > Would anger turn into darkness that destroyed everything else? Would it make you capable of Anon's evil?
  2067. > You wanted to say no.
  2068. > But you weren't sure.
  2069. > Shouldn't you try and find mercy in your heart?
  2070. > That was what the princesses had been teaching. Everyone deserved another chance. Anyone could change. Anon could yet be redeemed.
  2071. > You wondered if they still believed that after this pointless, brutal war.
  2072. > But you couldn't forgive. Not for Pearl. You didn't *want* to.
  2073. > In time you might have forgiven Anon for what he had done to you. But not for his crimes against the pegasus.
  2074. > Did that make you uncaring?
  2075. > You closed your eyes, but all you could see was Pearl Shine in that chair and with that look of betrayal on her face.
  2076. > A sob racked your body as the image formed in your mind. You put your hooves against your head and squeezed, trying to make it go away.
  2077. > Your groan became a scream of rage, then devolved into weeping.
  2078. > You had to find out what had happened to her.
  2079. > Pearl Shine had to be alive, somewhere out there.
  2080. > There was no way in Tartarus to make it right, but you had to try.
  2081. > Maybe after that you could work on forgiveness for Anon.
  2082. > You would need him. As a pony, you had no rights in the human world, and no resources.
  2083. > Pity helped. You knew Anon had been convinced that Pearl had abandoned his family on purpose, or out of selfishness. Then came the moment he realized that she had loved them as well as he had. At that moment you had seen into his soul.
  2084. > It was reeling in pain.
  2085. > Why did your relationship with your slaver keep getting more and more bucked-up?
  2086. > You kept your eyes closed and tried to think of nothing.
  2087. > ...
  2088. > "Lavender?"
  2089. > The voice woke you from your stupor. You forced your eyes to open. You didn't know how long you had lain there, but your fur was still wet and you were shivering violently.
  2090. > You felt Anon's hand in your mane before he withdrew it with a hiss.
  2091. > "God, Lavender, you're freezing!"
  2092. > He quickly started the shower again, aiming it away from you until it got warm. Soon it was steaming.
  2093. > You just watched numbly as he plugged the drain. Then he brought it over your back.
  2094. > The jet of water was so hot it was almost painful. You whimpered as it spread over your fur.
  2095. > Anon's hand followed it, massaging and spreading the warmth to your neck, then head. The discomfort soon melted away in unthinking pleasure. Your shivering stopped and you couldn't keep yourself from moaning.
  2096. > The tub was filling slowly, warming your from beneath. You closed your eyes and felt your muscles relax.
  2097. > "What were you thinking? You wanna catch a cold or something?"
  2098. > You hadn't wanted to talk, but the question reminded you of your struggle.
  2099. "I was trying to decide if I will ever forgive you."
  2100. > It was blunt, but you were too worn out for mind games.
  2101. > "I see," he said, softly. His hand was still in your mane, but it paused. "And?"
  2102. "I'm sorry."
  2103. > He heaved a sigh. You looked up to find him staring at a wall, his face clouded. It wasn't anger, but maybe... disappointment?
  2104. > "I understand."
  2105. "Maybe someday."
  2106. > "Yeah, maybe."
  2107. "Where does that leave us, now?"
  2108. > He gave it some thought while his hand resumed stroking your mane under the jet of warm water. "I honestly don't know, Lavender."
  2109. "Honestly,..."
  2110. > You snorted the word out in disdain.
  2111. "If we're talking 'honestly', *Master*, then tell me: Why are you doing this to ponies? Is it revenge? Or are you just a psychopath?"
  2112. > The words were unforgiving, but you didn't feel like sugarcoating them. If you were being candid, there was no reason to try and spare his feelings.
  2113. > If Anon was upset by the question, he didn't show it. But neither did he answer.
  2114. "Well?"
  2115. > His hand was still stroking your back, steadily. It was pleasurable, but that only served to increase your frustration.
  2116. > "What do you want to hear me say?" he asked, at long last. "Yes, you were just another project. A slave to be broken and taught obedience."
  2117. > Your breath caught as you parsed his words.
  2118. "'Were'?"
  2119. > The human shrugged and his mouth quirked up for a split second. "Yes, were. I don't know what you are now, but it's not that. Hell, maybe it's just my conscience finally catching up with me, but I wanna do right by you."
  2120. > Hearing him say that was a tiny bit flattering. Out of all the ponies this human had broken so casually, you were the one that made a difference.
  2121. > He wasn't finished yet. "I don't know what happened two years ago. I don't think even the shrink knows. It's just..."
  2122. > There was a pause and a sigh before Anon could go on. "For a while I just needed someone to be angry at. And Pearl was right there. Maybe I knew it wasn't right, but I ignored it. Being angry helped me put off thinking about it."
  2123. "That doesn't explain all the others."
  2124. > You couldn't imagine the kind of pain that would lead to such thoughts, so you just tried thinking about it logically.
  2125. "Fine, you were angry and took it out on Pearl. But why keep doing it to others?"
  2126. > Another shrug. Anon was examining the tiles behind you, lost in memory.
  2127. > "Convenience? When I got out of the loony house, I needed a job. No place would hire me with that kind of record. But then someone told me how impressed they were with Pearl - how obedient she was."
  2128. > He turned the shower off. You were lying in tepid water almost up to your neck. It wasn't as warm anymore, but it was still pleasant.
  2129. "So you found out you had a knack for it? Nice way to put ethics aside for a quick bit."
  2130. > He shook his head vehemently. "It wasn't like that! Yes, I was good at it. But the guy told me Pearl was happy with her new owner. I grabbed onto that because I didn't want to think about what I had done to her. I think I convinced myself that if Pearl was ultimately happy, the things I did were sort-of justified."
  2131. > You glared at him. Of all possible ways to reason it out, he kept choosing the most... monstrous ones. Anon saw how you felt and he quickly put his hand back in your mane.
  2132. > It was hard not to shake him off, but you let it stay. Physical contact seemed to be reminding him that you were a person. If it led him to remorse, you could put up with it for a while.
  2133. > "Look, I understand now. I was lying to myself. Maybe I even knew that all along. But every time I tried to think about it, it brought up the accident. I didn't want to remember that."
  2134. > The next part took a lot of effort to say. You saw him struggle to push the words out. He had to fight through years of his training.
  2135. > It almost made sense: just as he was training ponies to be slaves, he was training himself to think that was alright. His gaze strayed to the wall again.
  2136. > "I'm sorry, Lavender. I wish there was a way I could make up for it, but I don't think that can ever happen."
  2137. "You have to find Pearl Shine."
  2138. > His eyes snapped back to you and he took his hand away as if you were suddenly poisonous.
  2139. > "What? No, Lavender, I-"
  2140. "Shut up! If she is still alive, you have to find her and tell her the truth."
  2141. > He was shaking his head as he ran a hand nervously through his hair.
  2142. > "I don't-"
  2143. > You didn't let him finish. You had pushed yourself upright and whirled to face him. With the new warmth seeping into your body you felt some of the anger return and replace the numbness.
  2144. "And I don't give a flying buck what you think! We're finding Pearl and you're telling her exactly how much of a monster you are!"
  2145. > His fist balled up and for a moment you thought he would strike you again. He was breathing faster and his eyes refused to meet yours.
  2146. > You pressed on before he had a chance to speak.
  2147. "No excuses, Anon! You're doing the bucking right thing for once in your pathetic excuse of a life!"
  2148. > The human seemed to deflate. His arm fell limply against his side and he sighed.
  2149. > "I don't think I can face her, not after what I've-"
  2150. > You reared up and slapped his face with a hoof, sending water flying against the far wall.
  2151. "I know you can't. But you're gonna!"
  2152. > He stared at you, rubbing his chin. But his rage didn't come back. This time, he didn't argue anymore.
  2153. "Hand me a towel!"
  2154. > He obeyed and draped it around your neck. You felt more alive then that at any point in the past few days. You leapt out of the tub, landing with four graceful clicks on the tiles.
  2155. > Then you began drying yourself.
  2156. "I'm going to get some sleep. When I wake up, the first things I want to hear out of your mouth are 'Yes, Lavender', you got that?"
  2157. > He was gaping at you with his mouth open. It gave you confidence to continue and all your earlier frustration spewed out.
  2158. "And when you make Pearl Shine understand how incredibly, amazingly, *spectacularly* sorry you are, maybe you'll have a chance to-"
  2159. > "Lavender..." he whispered, pointing with his finger.
  2160. "-become a decent..."
  2161. > Your voice trailed off as your gaze followed his digit. You saw the towel suspended in the air above you, wrapped in the gentle glow of your magic.
  2162. > You both remembered at the same time that you hadn't been taking your pills since your suicide attempt.
  2163. > It was funny how you hadn't even felt the magic return.
  2164. > Your gaze went back to the human. You wondered what he would do.
  2165. > Anon guessed what you were thinking and he quickly shrugged. "It's fine."
  2166. > It was a small victory and maybe it made you hate him a tiny bit less. But you pointedly didn't thank him as you stomped out.
  2167.  
  2168. > ~~~~
  2169.  
  2170. > The pony stormed out, towel still floating above. I wasn't worried she would use her magic to injure me or try to escape. I guessed we had been through that already.
  2171. > What did scare me was the thought of seeing Pearl again.
  2172. > Of all the memories she would evoke. All the emotions.
  2173. > I unplugged the bathtub to let it drain, then I followed Lavender.
  2174. > By the time I entered the living room, she was already curled up on the couch under a blanket.
  2175. > She was still glaring when she looked at me.
  2176. > As little as a month ago, I would have tasered her for speaking to me like that.
  2177. > Now, I wasn't even angry.
  2178. > Lavender had gone from trainee slave to someone I considered a friend.
  2179. > Did it count if she didn't feel the same way?
  2180. > The plastic case was still on the floor in front of the TV. I picked it up, ejected the DVD and put it in.
  2181. > I tried not to think about what it contained.
  2182. > But Lavender wouldn't let me ignore it.
  2183. > "What you did to her was monstrous," she accused.
  2184. > I closed my eyes and nodded to myself.
  2185. "I know."
  2186. > She laid her head on the pillow and closed her eyes. "Good," was all she said.
  2187. >...
  2188. > I spent the morning talking on the phone. I had some contacts from a few nearby pony auctions and I asked everyone to help me track down Pearl Shine.
  2189. > Good thing none of those people knew my history with the mare. They thought I was just tracking down a specific pony for a client.
  2190. > I put the cell phone down on the living room table and leaned back, trying to think of anything else I could do.
  2191. > It was a surprise when Lavender brought me a bowl of cereal, wrapped in the glow of her magic. She put it down before me without a word.
  2192. > I didn't know what to make of it. She had made her disgust clear. The pony had even said she didn't want to stay in my house longer than absolutely necessary.
  2193. > But she had hugged me. Right before slapping me.
  2194. > And I got the feeling she desperately wanted to forgive me. All I had to do was earn it.
  2195. > At the same time, she hated my guts. She had no choice but to stay in my house and work with me, but that didn't make us buddies.
  2196. > I figured I would never understand that mare. At least now she was moving around and doing stuff. It was better than her depressed, lethargic state.
  2197. > Maybe having a goal was doing her good. Even if that goal was trying to make me as sorry as I possibly could be.
  2198. > I opened my laptop and went to browse auction sites on the off chance that Pearl was in the system at that very moment.
  2199. > There was nothing to be found in the time it took me to finish my breakfast.
  2200. > Lavender must have been looking in on me, because she walked in mere moments after I dropped my spoon and pushed the bowl away.
  2201. > "Anything?" she asked, sitting on her haunches across the table from me.
  2202. > I shook my head and was about to answer, but I was interrupted by my phone. I held up a finger and answered it.
  2203. > It was a guy I only knew as 'Paul'. He was a handler at one of the smaller auctions.
  2204. > "I found your Pearl Shine, Anon," he said.
  2205. "That's great. Where is she?"
  2206. > There was a pause. Then he told me the name of the place. My stomach sank. I knew of it by reputation.
  2207. > It was basically a whorehouse, only with ponies. On paper, the creatures were registered as waitresses, but in reality they were prostitutes.
  2208. > "Sorry I don't have better news for you, Anon," Paul was saying. It snapped me back to reality.
  2209. "Oh, yeah. Thanks."
  2210. > Lavender already knew something was wrong. Her ears were lowered as she stared at me in fear. She was preparing herself for the worst.
  2211. "She's alive," I told her.
  2212. > The pony sagged in relief. Then her eyes returned to mine. "What's wrong?" she asked, suspiciously.
  2213. "She's- they got her working in a bad place."
  2214. > The unicorn swallowed before asking her question in a small voice. "H-how bad?"
  2215. "Pearl is working in a brothel."
  2216. > Lavender's face fell as she lowered her eyes to the floor. "I see," she said quietly. Already her tears were falling freely.
  2217. > She sniffed and looked back up. "You have to get her out."
  2218. > I agreed. Pearl had been in Hell long enough.
  2219. "I'll try."
  2220. > I stepped around the table and knelt beside the distraught pony. She didn't resist when I took her in a hug.
  2221. > After a while, she leaned her head against my shoulder, taking care not to poke me with her horn.
  2222. > "I hate this world," she sobbed.
  2223. > There was no way to answer, so I just held her for a while. Eventually, her tears dried up and she pushed herself away as if ashamed to show weakness.
  2224. > "Get her back," she said firmly and picked up the dish from the coffee table in her magic. She waited for my nod, then walked into the kitchen.
  2225. > I picked up the phone again. There would be some money left after paying off Lavender's original client. I hoped it would be enough.
  2226.  
  2227. > ~~~~
  2228.  
  2229. > The fact that you couldn't accompany Anon when he went to pick up Pearl grated on your nerves, making the hours as you waited in the empty house seem to drag on forever.
  2230. > Out of desperation, you had decided to cook. At least you could welcome the pegasus home with a nice meal.
  2231. > A few dirty dishes later, you had some half-decent vegetable stew. It was already cooling on the table, which you had set for three, but there was still no sign of Anon.
  2232. > You walked to the front door for the twentieth time and opened it. You stared out for a while, then heaved a sigh and closed it again.
  2233. > The house was getting chilly with all that draft.
  2234. > Then you went to check your room again, just for something to do. There hadn't been time to get another bed, so Anon had just dragged in an old mattress.
  2235. > A lovely pink blanket made it seem more like home. The vase on the small table was also a nice touch, you thought.
  2236. > Unfortunately Anon didn't know any of the flower names you told him, so he just brought some Orithyia; Tulips, as they were called on this world.
  2237. > They did liven up the room nicely, you had to admit that.
  2238. > But still, if you remained with Anon and Pearl until the spring, you would definitely start a garden of your own.
  2239. > The rest of the furnishings left much to be desired. Despite a rug from one of Anon's storage boxes, the room still looked like a dungeon.
  2240. > You pushed the thought out of your mind and went to check on the stew. It would be getting cold, but now that you had your magic back, you could heat it up quickly.
  2241. > It wasn't particularly strong with you, but you knew a few tricks. And you used it every chance you got, after being denied for so long.
  2242. > A quick warming spell and the pot was steaming again.
  2243. > Just in time! You heard Anon's car stop in the front yard and scurried to the hallway, throwing the door open.
  2244. > The human got out first, then opened the back door. Your heart sank a little when you saw him grab a rope. It was just the leash law, you reminded yourself.
  2245. > Anon's house was very secluded, but it was better to be safe.
  2246. > The human tugged and Pearl slowly clambered out of the vehicle. The mare was in a dismal state.
  2247. > Even from distance, you could see that her coat was filthy. Her mane, matted and uneven, was even worse. Her tail was best not thought about.
  2248. > You firmly squashed your imagination. This was no time to get depressed or angry.
  2249. > There was one bit of good news, though. From what you could see, Pearl Shine still had her wings. They flared open a little when she landed on the ground, helping her catch her balance.
  2250. > The way Anon had talked and the few seconds of video you had seen, had left you worried that he had mangled the pegasus beyond recovery.
  2251. > The human closed and locked his car, then led the new pony toward you. Pearl followed easily enough, but she kept her wide eyes on Anon.
  2252. > You couldn't quite make out her expression until they got a little closer.
  2253. > Was that... adoration?
  2254. > It was making the former slaver very uncomfortable, especially after he spotted you in the door.
  2255. > You took a few steps back to let them in. Pearl didn't seem to register your presence at all, as she glanced around the place.
  2256. > "This is where you live, Master? I love it!" she piped up.
  2257. > You kept your expression as neutral as you could, despite your surprise.
  2258. > Anger, shock, even depression; you had expected those. But the pegasus simply seemed overjoyed to be with the human.
  2259. > Did she not recognize her tormentor? The pegasus was acting as if the man was her best friend.
  2260. > Pearl couldn't be *that* broken, could she?
  2261. > You felt decidedly uneasy.
  2262. > As Anon was removing his jacket, Pearl fell around his knees and hugged him with both hooves and wings.
  2263. > "Thank you *so much* for saving me from that place, Master!" she squealed. There were actually tears in her eyes.
  2264. > Anon caught your stare and gave an uncomfortable half-shrug. You studied the pegasus again.
  2265. > "This is Lavender Falls, Pearl. She'll be your friend."
  2266. > Now the newcomer noticed you and her eyes widened. She watched you warily for a few seconds, then looked up to her Master, trying to decide how she should react.
  2267. > "Go on, say hello," he told her.
  2268. > The blue mare faced you, but her ears hung limp and her face was angled to the floor. She didn't meet your gaze. It was like meeting a shy filly.
  2269. > "H-hello, Lavender," she said quietly. The fact that her owner had another pony seemed to be making her sad.
  2270. > You ignored all that and hugged her tightly.
  2271. "It's going to be okay now, Pearl. I promise."
  2272. > The pony in your grip stood frozen. She didn't return the gesture and it felt like she was holding her breath. You quickly let her go and backed away.
  2273. > Only then did Pearl exhale. She took a small step back, bumping her rear into Anon's knee.
  2274. > She glanced at her owner, before focusing on you again.
  2275. > You were lost for words, until you remembered the meal you had prepared. It was a welcome change of topic.
  2276. "You must both be hungry by now," you said. "I made us some lunch."
  2277. > That broke the ice and Anon finally stirred. You couldn't tell what was going on in his head and you didn't want to ask in front of Pearl.
  2278. > The human knelt down. "Here, let me get that off you," he said and fiddled with Pearl's collar.
  2279. > You saw it was similar to the one you had had. Thick metal band with the telltale bulge where batteries sat. It was a shock collar.
  2280. > It couldn't leave Pearl's neck quickly enough for you. It hit the floor together with a stone from your heart.
  2281. > But Pearl didn't share your relief. She was trembling and staring back at Anon with wide, fearful eyes.
  2282. > "M-my col-collar, Master..." she stuttered.
  2283. > He patted her head gently, ignoring the grime in her mane. "You won't be needing it here, Pearl."
  2284. > The pegasus lifted a hoof and touched her neck, rubbing at a slight discoloration of her fur, which was still showing where the band used to sit.
  2285. > "I- please, Master. I'll be good. I can't- I'll be-"
  2286. > She blubbered, then closed her eyes and swallowed hard. Her face was already wet from her tears.
  2287. > "I don't want to leave, M-master! I'll do anything. Please don't get rid of me!"
  2288. > You were baffled, but Anon seemed to know what it was about. His hands came to rest on Pearl's shoulders.
  2289. > "Don't worry. I'm not getting rid of you. I just don't want you wearing that ugly thing, okay?"
  2290. > She was about to shake her head. She was panting rapidly and her panic was threatening to overwhelm her.
  2291. > The human's voice became firmer. "I don't need a collar to know you're mine, got it? I don't want you wearing that thing, period."
  2292. > Pearl took a deep, shuddering breath, then gave a small nod. "Y-yes, Master," she said quietly.
  2293. > You looked from the mare to Anon and he shook his head slightly. The pegasus was calming down, but you didn't like the tone of command he had used.
  2294. > For now you decided to give him the benefit of doubt.
  2295. "Uh, lunch is ready," you repeated, lamely.
  2296. > Anon stood up. "Come, Pearl," he said and left. The pony plodded a few steps behind.
  2297. > It took you a few more seconds to gather your wits and scurry after them. You took a place at the table, next to the human. The third space was ready for Pearl, but she didn't move.
  2298. > The mare stood on the floor, waiting patiently.
  2299. "You can sit with us, Pearl."
  2300. > She firmly shook her head. "I-I shouldn't. I'll jus- just wait for what's left."
  2301. > "It's okay," Anon said and reached over to pat the seat. "Hop on, you're eating with us."
  2302. > The pegasus was doubtful, but she wasn't about to refuse what she saw as an outright command. She carefully clambered up on the chair, but she kept her hooves to her sides and her face lowered.
  2303. > You used your magic to grab the ladle and poured some stew into her plate. Then you filled Anon's and finally yours.
  2304. > The human picked up his spoon first and tasted.
  2305. > "Not bad, Lavender," he praised with a small smile. When you didn't answer, he raised his eyebrows and angled his head toward Pearl.
  2306. > You quickly understood. He wanted you to show Pearl an example of how he wanted her to act. Seeing you at your ease around the ex-slaver would help the mare internalize her new position.
  2307. "Oh, thanks, Anon. You were late and I thought you might be hungry when you came. It's just a little something I whipped up."
  2308. > He was watching the new pony, but kept talking cheerfully. "Well, I like it. I should ask you to cook more often."
  2309. > You quickly wracked your brain for a response.
  2310. "Well, you make some mean pancakes yourself, Anon."
  2311. > The pegasus seemed to be ignoring it all. Her eyes were still focused on her lap.
  2312. > Anon sighed. "You can eat, Pearl."
  2313. > Finally, she looked up and gave a small nod. "Thank y-you, Master," she said. Rather than fiddling with her spoon, the pegasus just dipped her muzzle.
  2314. > She slurped a little and a piece of carrot brushed her lips. She snaked out her tongue and swept the morsel in. She chewed quickly and her eyes widened.
  2315. > Her eyes turned up to look at you for a second, then she plunged her face down again. This time, she was no longer being subtle.
  2316. > The pegasus all but inhaled the stew, then began licking the plate. After a moment, she brought her hooves up to hold the porcelain as she cleaned every last bit.
  2317. > She was starving.
  2318. "Would you like some more, Pearl?"
  2319. > You were graced by a small, hopeful smile, but she didn't reply. Her eyes went to Anon, waiting on his decision.
  2320. > He nodded. "You can have as much as you like."
  2321. > Pearl returned her gaze at you and carefully lowered her plate to the table. Quick as a thought, you brought the ladle over and filled the dish again.
  2322. > If the mare noticed you using your magic, she didn't comment on it. Her face all but fell into the stew and all you could hear for a while was slurping and smacking of lips as she ate, messily.
  2323. > It was soon done, and she was polishing the plate with her tongue again.
  2324. "More?"
  2325. > Her eyes widened in shock. Despite Anon's words, she hadn't really believed she would sate her hunger. You smiled encouragingly and raised your eyebrows.
  2326. > "Y-yes, please, M-mistress," she squeaked, shy and nervous. Her cheeks blushed a little.
  2327. "Mistress?!"
  2328. > You realized that the pegasus had raised you in her mind almost to the human's level. It was probably the only way she could reconcile your apparent ease around Anon.
  2329. > She couldn't think of you as a slave pony, so she put you in the only other category her mind knew. An owner. 'Mistress'.
  2330. "Wait, I'm not- I don't-"
  2331. > You couldn't find words to explain, so you looked at Anon in desperation.
  2332. > His expression was thoughtful and he scratched at his chin as he studied you. He glanced to Pearl, then focused on your face again.
  2333. > "Lavender isn't your mistress, Pearl. And you don't have to call me 'master', alright? We're all just friends here."
  2334. > For the moment you were willing to concede the point, so you didn't confuse the poor mare.
  2335. "Yes. You're not a slave anymore."
  2336. > It proved too much for her. Her expression went blank. After a while she looked back down at her empty plate.
  2337. > "Ca-can I have some m-more, please?" she said nervously, falling back to something concrete.
  2338. "Oh, sorry. Sure."
  2339. > You quickly filled her bowl and the pegasus went back to eating.
  2340. > This was not what you had been expecting. True, you hadn't met many slaves, even during your brief stay at the auction house, but Pearl's attitude seemed unreal.
  2341. > You caught Anon's eye.
  2342. "This isn't going to be easy, is it?"
  2343. > He gave you a small, worried smile. "No, it isn't."
  2344. > You felt the two of you growing a bit closer. The difficulty of mending the broken pony before you was a common task, something that united you.
  2345. > It was one thing you both wanted, even if for different reasons.
  2346. > But the moment passed and Anon turned away.
  2347. > "After you're full, Lavender will help you take a bath, Pearl."
  2348. > The blue mare looked up from her feast and quickly nodded. She swallowed her mouthful. "Yes, Master!" she affirmed, happy to receive an easy order.
  2349. > "Then she will show you your room," the human went on.
  2350. > Another nod. Pearl waited to see if there were more commands, then she cocked her head to the side. "Master? What will my duties be?"
  2351. > You wanted to tell her there would be no duties, but you were wary. You couldn't be sure how Pearl would react to that, not after you had seen what had happened with the collar.
  2352. > The mare was deathly afraid of being sent away. With a sinking stomach you realized she was afraid of being returned to the brothel.
  2353. > Luckily, Anon knew how to handle it. "We'll talk about that when you've rested, okay?"
  2354. > The mare gave another nod and a smile.
  2355. > "I'll be a good pony for Master! I've learned! I know how to make you feel good!"
  2356. > It almost turned you stomach and you were about to yell at Pearl never to talk like that. But Anon beat you to it and you clamped your mouth shut.
  2357. > "Nothing like that, Pearl. That over. I didn't get you so I could rut you."
  2358. > You glared at him over the language, even if the meaning of his words was exactly what you had wanted it to be.
  2359. > Pearl didn't seem to mind. "Okay, Master," was all she said.
  2360. > "Go on now, eat as much as you like. Lavender will show you to the bathroom when you're done."
  2361. > As much as you still despised him and his casual attitude around the subservient pegasus, you were unhappy to see the human leave.
  2362. > He was acting like a real slaver and it was making you angry. But the fact was that it seemed to be working.
  2363. > Pearl seemed unwilling or unable to accept freedom, so Anon's firm, commanding tone put her at her ease.
  2364. > You had to concede that his way was probably best for the time being.
  2365. > Only, you were now stuck alone with her and you didn't know what to do. The mare was obviously still unsure about your position, despite what the human had said.
  2366. > You caught her casting worried glances your way while she was eating. The pegasus seemed to be uneasy in your company, much more so than in Anon's.
  2367. > Probably because she didn't know where to place you in her world, or what you might do to her if she displeased you.
  2368. > Giving her your most reassuring smile, you waited for the pegasus to eat her fill.
  2369. > Bath time with her was going to be interesting.
  2370. > You almost broke down and went to ask Anon for help.
  2371. > Just be firm and gentle, you told yourself. Act like you know what you're doing. The mare needed some stability and certainty in her life right, more than anything else.
  2372. > Maybe even more than a friend.
  2373. > You would work on her freedom later.
  2374. > You realized that simply being her presence was unnerving you.
  2375. > You couldn't stand it anymore.
  2376. "Uh, please help yourself to more, if you like, Pearl. I'll just- I'll be right back."
  2377. > She paused her slurping long enough to give you a curt nod, then you jumped from the chair and got out of there, cheeks burning with shame.
  2378.  
  2379. > ~~~~
  2380.  
  2381. > I couldn't believe Pearl Shine hadn't recognized me. True, it had been a couple of years, but after everything I had done, it seemed impossible.
  2382. > Keeping my cool and remaining in control of my voice had taken extreme effort. I knew the pony was expecting a slave owner; her reaction when the collar came off had proven that.
  2383. > And the way Lavender looked at me was deeply unnerving. Had the mare imagined we would just kiss and make up?
  2384. > Pearl had lived as a slave for too long to just shrug it off. All sense of her previous identity was gone.
  2385. > But I had expected recognition, at least.
  2386. > When it hadn't come, I didn't know how to feel. I had been so prepared to apologise profusely, to beg forgiveness. But now, I simply fell back into my role as her Master.
  2387. > In a way, it was comforting. It helped make me more certain.
  2388. > But it still felt wrong.
  2389. > I was pacing up and down the living room when the crystal pony entered. She sighed in relief, before she could stop herself.
  2390. > "I... don't know what to do," she admitted and bit her lip.
  2391. > My answer was not forthcoming. I walked over to the couch and planted my butt in the seat. I had to grip my knees to keep my hands still.
  2392. > Lavender watched all that with a slight frown.
  2393. > "You okay?" she asked.
  2394. "No. I don't know what the fuck to do either. You wanted her here. Well there you go. Now what?"
  2395. > She took a step back and her ears fell. "Don't lay this on me!" she hissed. "You did this to her. You've gotta make it right!"
  2396. > She was right, but it wasn't easy to hear. I put my hands in my hair and tried to think.
  2397. > I knew how to break a pony into slavery. But how did you get them back? Was it even possible?
  2398. > Focusing just on my breathing for a while, I tried to decide what to do next. When I looked up at Lavender, she was sitting on her haunches, staring at the floor. No help there.
  2399. "Okay, okay. Go give her a bath, then bring her here. I'll think of something."
  2400. > The mare was all too happy to oblige. Even as defiant and independent as she was, Lavender desperately needed someone to take charge of this situation.
  2401. > She looked like she was about to ask something else, but thought better of it.
  2402. > "Fine," she said as she trotted off.
  2403. > It gave me pause. Was she reluctant to spend time with Pearl Shine? The way her had tail hung limp and her eyes remained plastered to the floor said yes.
  2404. > Maybe some time to bond would make her more comfortable.
  2405. > ...
  2406. > I had gotten nowhere in my thinking by the time the ponies returned.
  2407. > Pearl was looking much better and even Lavender's spirits seemed lifted. They stopped before me and waited, one looking at me with absolute adoration, the other with trepidation.
  2408. "Pearl..."
  2409. > I tried to come up with a good way to bring it up, but failed.
  2410. "You don't remember me?"
  2411. > The pony gave it some thought, then shook her head.
  2412. "You don't know what I did to you?"
  2413. > The words were like acid with the memory they evoked.
  2414. > The pegasus cocked her head to a side and considered that. Slowly, a smile spread through her face.
  2415. > "You took me from that awful place, Master."
  2416. > Lavender wasn't much help. She was sitting motionless on her haunches, staring. I thought the pony was worried, but I was unsure. She did a good job hiding her emotion.
  2417. "No, Pearl. We've met before. You were our- my pony. Don't you remember?"
  2418. > She gave it some thought, but her face fell. She shrank back and dropped her eyes straight down to the carpet.
  2419. > Was she remembering?
  2420. > "P-please, Master. What-whatever you say. I'll remember, I promise..."
  2421. > Or maybe she was just desperate to please, lest she be sent back to the brothel.
  2422. > Lavender offered no help. She was watching Pearl with a look of pity.
  2423. > Maybe, I thought, this should be done in steps?
  2424. "Pearl, where were you before the place I took you from?"
  2425. > This was an easier question and the pegasus relaxed somewhat. She looked back at my face.
  2426. > "I was with the old Master. He was nice to me," she said with a small smile at the memory. There was a short silence which she tried to fill.
  2427. > "But he- he died," she said, her happy expression slipping and being replaced with sorrow. "Then they took me to the- to that place."
  2428. "Okay, and before that? Before the old Master?"
  2429. > She opened her mouth to answer, but nothing came out. She closed it again with a puzzled expression. Her eyes glazed over and her head cocked to the side as she thought, furiously.
  2430. > After a few seconds, her ears dropped and she shook her head slightly. She was once again terrified of disappointing her owner.
  2431. > "I can't- I don't remember, Mas-master," she stuttered.
  2432. "What about your life in Equestria? Your parents? There's got to be something from before you were a slave?"
  2433. > She just stared, beginning to shake. "I don't, Mas-master. I've- I was always a slave."
  2434. > It came out in a terrified squeak, but I didn't know if it was due to her fear of freedom or the sudden discovery of these holes in her memory.
  2435. > "Show her the video," Lavender said flatly, refusing to look up from the floor. She looked dejected.
  2436. "What?"
  2437. > "The DVD. Show it her. Maybe it will jog her memory."
  2438. > My mind reeled from the idea. Pearl seemed happy and she trusted me. Her 'Master' had saved her from a bad place and gave her a home. She had hope of a good future for the first time in her life, at least as far as she could remember.
  2439. > Taking that away and showing her that her trust in me was misplaced would do more damage than good.
  2440. > Plus, I was ashamed to admit to myself, Pearl not remembering had let me off the hook. I didn't have to face the way I had betrayed her, at least not all at once.
  2441. > I was going to work up to it, gradually.
  2442. "I'm not going to do that. She's not ready."
  2443. > Finally, Lavender raised her face. Her entire being was focused on me. Her eyes bored into mine and her ears faced forward.
  2444. > "Either you show her, or I will," she spat.
  2445. "Don't be stupid. Look at the state she's in! She needs some time to adjust."
  2446. > The back and forth was having a profound effect on Pearl Shine. She had huddled down and covered her head with her wings. I heard muffled sobs, which she desperately tried to keep quiet.
  2447. > Lavender became aware of her friend's distress and deflated. She stepped closer to the pegasus and carefully placed her leg around the other's barrel.
  2448. > The huddled mare gasped in surprise and jerked aside. She batted the unwelcome hoof away and her sobbing increased in volume.
  2449. > The crystal pony just stared in disbelief for a while, before she found her voice again. "I'm sorry, Pearl, I didn't mean to yell."
  2450. > There was no response and she looked to me for help. I was half-tempted to let her handle the distraught pegasus on her own. It would serve her right.
  2451. > But the pathetic sight Pearl presented tugged at my heartstrings. I quickly left the couch and approached.
  2452. > It wasn't much different from consoling a pony after a severe beating. I just hooked my arms around her forelegs and pulled her into my lap.
  2453. > The mare didn't fight my touch like she had Lavender's, a fact that the crystal pony couldn't help but notice.
  2454. > She humphed and left for her room, only stopping to have her final word: "You'll have to show her eventually."
  2455. > I nodded.
  2456. "Of course! Just give her a bit of time."
  2457. > It seemed to suffice and Lavender left us. I had no doubt that she would be listening from the other room, though.
  2458. "Sssh, it's okay. I've got you, Pearl. It's going to be alright."
  2459. > Years of practice made my voice extra soothing. It was working; the wings slowly drew in until they were half-closed and the pegasus gazed up at me, blinking away her tears.
  2460. > She still sniffled, but it looked like the worst of the storm was over.
  2461. > "I... remember something, Master," she said, her horrified expression almost making my heart stop.
  2462. > I barely held on to my calm, assuring smile.
  2463. "What is that, Pearl?"
  2464. > She looked past me, at the ceiling. "There was a fire. I remember I got hurt in a fire," she confided in a low voice. The memory made her press herself more tightly against me. Her wings were trembling badly and the tears were flowing once again.
  2465. > I considered lying to her, if only to ease her spirit. But my gut told me that it would come to bite me on the ass later.
  2466. "That's right. There was an accident. A fire. You were hurt."
  2467. > Maybe that would be enough for now. I still wanted to take it slowly and gradually.
  2468. > She seemed satisfied. I kept running my fingers down her neck and chest until she calmed.
  2469. > "Is- is that... Did I do good, Master? I'll try to remember more, I p-promise," she said at long last.
  2470. > My hand paused, right as it was resting on her belly. My other arm was wrapped comfortingly around her, supporting her head in the crook.
  2471. "That's very good, Pearl. It's best not to rush these things. You'll remember in time, there's no hurry."
  2472. > God, please let there be no hurry.
  2473. > Her tears were drying and she smiled, a genuine expression of joy. A hoof raised feebly to touch my face.
  2474. > "Thank you, Master A-anon," she said.
  2475.  
  2476. > ~~~~
  2477.  
  2478. > For the first time that you could remember, the world was beautiful again. Despite the horrible lies that sourpuss Lavender kept telling you each night, you knew Master Anon loved you.
  2479. > He was much nicer to you than you deserved. After all, you hadn't done anything for him yet.
  2480. > He had taken you from that Tartarus, where strange men beat you and used you every day, and brought you into his home. That alone had earned him your undying loyalty and gratitude.
  2481. > But he also gave you the softest bed you remembered sleeping in, the most delicious food and the very best in ear, back and belly scratches.
  2482. > You desperately wanted to repay him, but he had nothing for you to do. You had tried pleasing him in the only way you knew how, but he had said no.
  2483. > Even Lavender did more for Master Anon than you!
  2484. > They both said you were hurt. Broken. That you needed to get well. But they were wrong. You had never felt so happy in your life.
  2485. > Except maybe with the old Master.
  2486. > He had been kind to you, but he was old and you had to help him around his house.
  2487. > You didn't mind cooking, but he sometimes needed you to bathe him and clean up his... accidents.
  2488. > He always treated you fairly, though, so you had gritted your teeth and done it. And you were always rewarded with treats and praise.
  2489. > The mornings when the old Master had had an accident in his bed became more and more common.
  2490. > Then one day, he hadn't called you. You had waited in your room until the afternoon, before you had gone to check on the human.
  2491. > You had found his dead body.
  2492. > That was how you had ended up in that horrible place.
  2493. > But all of that was in the past. Master Anon promised that he would not send you away, ever, and you believed him.
  2494. > Every day he had you jump on the couch, took you in his arms and talked to you, all the while scratching, petting and rubbing.
  2495. > You could see that Lavender was jealous of all that attention. Sometimes she watched for a while before storming off.
  2496. > Maybe that was why she was telling you all those nasty things about Master Anon each night.
  2497. > How he liked to hurt ponies. How he had broken them.
  2498. > Lavender wanted you to hate the Master.
  2499. > You were worried it was working.
  2500. > Sometimes you dreamed.
  2501. > There was always the fire. And the fire was your fault. Master Anon said so, in your dream. He beat you and told you that you deserved to die in the fire.
  2502. > He hurt your precious wings and you screamed yourself awake.
  2503. > You wanted to dismiss it as nothing more than a dream, induced by Lavender's venomous words.
  2504. > But Master Anon *had* said there had been a fire.
  2505. > You tried not to think about it, afraid of what you might find.
  2506. > Life was too good to ruin it. You knew Master wanted you to remember your past, but you didn't really want to.
  2507. > You promised him you would try, but you never kept that promise. Each morning, as the bad dream faded from your memory, you thought about the good things you had.
  2508. > How you haven't been beaten once, since Master Anon took you in.
  2509. > The delicious food and treats he fed you every day.
  2510. > You remembered that he allowed you to sit at his table and eat with him. That brought tears of joy into your eyes.
  2511. > The belly rubs, ear scratches and mane pets. They relaxed you so.
  2512. > There were no sweating, grunting humans forcing themselves on you.
  2513. > And most importantly: the swelling of love you felt in your breast each time Master Anon told you that you were a good pony.
  2514. > You embraced your joy, felt the smile take hold on your face and went out to see if today was the day Master Anon would let you thank him properly.
  2515. > Lavender was there, but it didn't dampen your spirit.
  2516. "Hello, Master Anon. Hello, Lavender."
  2517. > You chirped the words happily.
  2518. > The strange mare's position in the Master's household was still somewhat of a mystery to you.
  2519. > Both she and the Master insisted that Lavender wasn't a slave. But sometimes she cooked and cleaned. She obeyed the Master's commands.
  2520. > Those were all the things a good slave should do.
  2521. > And yet... sometimes Lavender fought the master. She spoke back or flatly refused his commands. Mostly she argued with him about you.
  2522. > You winced for the beatings the mare would receive, however justified it was.
  2523. > But the richly deserved punishment never came. You couldn't understand why Master Anon would not discipline the unruly pony.
  2524. > Maybe then she would stop tormenting you in the dark of night.
  2525. > Your thoughts were interrupted as you noticed them both watching you, their expressions dark. Your heart leapt into your throat as you tried to remember if you had done anything wrong.
  2526. > There was nothing, and yet it seemed as if you were being punished.
  2527. "Wh-what's wrong, Master?"
  2528. > You tried to keep your voice steady, but you couldn't control the shaking of your legs.
  2529. > "Come here, Pearl," the Master said and patted a spot on the couch beside him.
  2530. > Normally, you would have been thrilled at the gesture. But his voice was sad and his eyes stared at you with despair.
  2531. > You looked at Lavender, but the pony refused to meet your gaze.
  2532. > That bitch must have told Master Anon some lies about you! There was no other explanation.
  2533. > You wanted to curse at her, but you didn't dare. It would only make the punishment worse.
  2534. > With leaden limbs, you walked to the couch and tried to jump up. But your muscles felt like water and you just collapsed.
  2535. > The Master picked you up and deposited you on the cushion. You were so afraid that you almost forgot your manners.
  2536. "Thank- thank y-you, Master."
  2537. > He had rotated you so you were facing away from him, toward the TV. But you turned your head to watch him, waiting for the beating to begin.
  2538. > "Pearl, it's time you knew the truth," the Master said.
  2539. > You almost panicked. He was getting rid of you! Whatever Lavender had said was bad enough that Master Anon no longer wanted you around!
  2540. "NO! Pl-please, Mas-master! Don't- I didn't-"
  2541. > It was almost impossible to talk past the dread you felt. You head whipped around to face the traitor.
  2542. "S-she lied! What-whatever she said... I didn't- It's a lie!"
  2543. > The Master's hand was on your back, petting you gently. You couldn't bear the thought of losing that touch. You turned your tear-filled eyes back on the human.
  2544. "Please, Master!"
  2545. > It was barely a whisper.
  2546. > "Lavender told you the truth, Pearl," he said, sadly. "I know you don't remember, but you must. I'm sorry I have to show you this."
  2547. > You didn't understand what he was saying. But you were willing to do anything to stay in his home.
  2548. "I'll- I'll remember! I'll believe, Master! Just, please, don- don't..."
  2549. > He put his finger on your lips. "Sssh," he hushed you. You clamped your mouth shut, but you couldn't stop your sobbing or the tears.
  2550. > The Master took the remote and pushed a button. The TV sprang to life.
  2551. > It showed... you?
  2552. > You, and... the Master?
  2553. > The scene tugged at your memory and filled you with a nameless dread. You began shaking your head, trying to deny what you were seeing.
  2554. > But you couldn't look away.
  2555. > The Master on the TV spoke. And the voice sent a chill down your spine.
  2556. > "Let's go over this again, Pearl."
  2557.  
  2558. > ~~~~
  2559.  
  2560. > It had been a bad idea. You had made a terrible mistake.
  2561. > Anon had been right - Pearl Shine was not ready to learn the truth about her past.
  2562. > You had been watching her face at the moment her memory came flooding back. You could pinpoint the exact instant her heart broke.
  2563. > And it would remain etched in your mind.
  2564. > It had been wrong to pressure Anon into showing Pearl the video.
  2565. > But you couldn't stand it anymore. The way the pegasus adored that human monster. The joy she found in the incessant belly rubs and scratches.
  2566. > It had made you sick every time you laid eyes on them together.
  2567. > Anon had been only too happy to leave Pearl in the dark. It wasn't right!
  2568. > The mare deserved to know the truth. She shouldn't be friends with someone who had done those things to her.
  2569. > Only... now *you* felt like the bad person.
  2570. > However much Anon had lied to Pearl, at least she had been happy.
  2571. > Your truth had destroyed her.
  2572. > Who was a better friend now?
  2573. > You couldn't even hate the human anymore. This had been your doing. You were just as guilty of hurting Pearl Shine as he was.
  2574. > A sigh escaped your lips and you refocused on your task.
  2575. > You scooped up a spoonful of thick, creamy pumpkin soup. Your dishes had been getting steadily more creative to try and tempt the blue pegasus.
  2576. "Come on, Pearl. You have to eat something."
  2577. > Briefly you wondered if Anon had felt the same hopeless anxiety when he fed you in your catatonic state.
  2578. > The mare just watched you wearily. She went in cycles from crying, to exhausted, to fitful sleep, to screaming, then back to tears.
  2579. > You propped her up with your magic and brought the spoon to her face, hoping the smell would entice her.
  2580. > But she just stared at you. With a sigh, you dropped the utensil and put the bowl down.
  2581. > Then you went to hug the distraught pegasus.
  2582. "I'm sorry, Pearl. I didn't mean to- I made a mistake."
  2583. > After a moment, the pony sobbed into your shoulder and her hooves wrapped around you.
  2584. > You froze, elated at the response but at the same time fearful to disturb her, lest she retreat again.
  2585. > A slight pat on her back wouldn't go amiss, you decided.
  2586. "There, everything is going to be fine."
  2587. > It made Pearl cry harder, but she didn't push you away. You nuzzled her neck and waited.
  2588. > "I let them buuuuuurn!" the pony wailed.
  2589. > Your ears perked up. This were the first words you had gotten out of the mare since she had seen the video. The anguish in them hit deeply and you tightened your grip around her barrel.
  2590. "No, Pearl, don't talk like that. It wasn't your fault."
  2591. > You felt her shake her head.
  2592. > "I did nothing! I was scared and I did nothing!" she cried, her whole body shaking with her sobs.
  2593. > As much as you were glad that Pearl was reacting, this wasn't what you had in mind. But at least she wasn't fighting to escape your hug.
  2594. > For a moment you considered calling Anon, but changed your mind quickly. Seeing the figure associated with her suffering could make the pegasus worse.
  2595. > You were glad the human was obeying your request to stay away. He was surely able to hear her, but he hadn't come looking.
  2596. "You survived, Pearl."
  2597. > She didn't seem to grasp your words anymore. The pegasus kept going, her voice subdued. She was trembling and her wings had unfurled - a sure sign of alarm.
  2598. > "I- I deserved it!" she said. "It was my fault Mel and Sara died. If I smelled it sooner, or if I helped them get out, or- or-"
  2599. > She trailed off as another fit of sobbing wracked her body.
  2600. "No, Pearl. It was an accident. It wasn't anypony's fault. There was nothing you could do."
  2601. > She still didn't hear you. Her fit subsided and she spoke again, her words coming faster and faster, as if she wanted to get them out as quickly as she could.
  2602. > "The screams. Celestia, I remember the screams! All I could see was smoke, but I still heard them. My- my feathers caught fire and I backed away. I should have tried harder! I should have gone to them. At least we would have died together!"
  2603. > There was not much else you could say, so you just waited. Your presence seemed to comfort the pegasus a little, judging by how tightly she was clutching you.
  2604. > Soon, your chest was covered with snot and tears, but you didn't mind. The floor was hard, but you ignored that too. The only thing that mattered was the bundle of pain and feathers in your arms.
  2605. > You had hurt her by forcing her to face things she wasn't ready for. But you would do everything in your power to make it up to her.
  2606. > If you could.
  2607. > The pony in your lap was too thin. You hadn't had much luck feeding her and she was wasting away. Pearl hadn't come out the brothel with too much meat on her bones to start with.
  2608. > It sparked off your anxiety again. If the mare wasted away to nothing under your care, you would never forgive yourself.
  2609. > Quickly, you brought back the bowl and spoon.
  2610. > Pearl was weeping wordlessly now. You carefully rolled her so she was facing up in your lap, like a child.
  2611. > Her eyes opened and she stared. You smiled, hoping her focus on you was a sign that she was slowly surfacing from the tyranny of her memories.
  2612. "Hey, I've got you. You're safe."
  2613. > Her eyes had closed and the pegasus began to weep again. She was letting it all out and you felt like it was doing her good. The pegasus was getting some powerful emotion off her chest. The way she clutched you and kept her muzzle pressed deeply into your belly felt like you were giving her the outlet she desperately needed.
  2614. > A short while later, when the worst of her crying seemed to be over, you brought the spoon again.
  2615. > You touched the soup with your tongue. It was cool, but not unpleasantly so.
  2616. "Here, come on, dear. You've got to eat something," you cooed.
  2617. > She opened her eyes and blinked at you. It looked like she was aware of your presence and - more importantly - the food.
  2618. > You held your breath for an age, until the pegasus gave a small nod, then you let it out in a rush.
  2619. > The relief was palpable and you felt the corners of your mouth tug upward in a gentle smile.
  2620. > Pearl was still passive, but once you prodded her lips carefully with the spoon, she opened her mouth and allowed you to feed her.
  2621. > She didn't give any sign of enjoyment, but you didn't need that. As long as she was swallowing on her own, you were happy.
  2622. > It went fine until the bowl was half-empty, then Pearl's teeth clamped shut and she averted her eyes.
  2623. "Come on, just a bit more," you pleaded.
  2624. > But with her immediate hunger assuaged, the pegasus refused further food. For a moment you considered forcing her with your magic, but that would undo any progress you had made with her.
  2625. "Please Pearl?"
  2626. > She looked like she was about to cry again, so you quickly took the spoon away. Then you carefully lifted her in your hooves, using only a touch of magic to make her lighter.
  2627. > Pearl didn't fight you as you put her in bed and covered her with a blanket.
  2628. > She sniffed and you snatched a piece of paper. Her face was a mess of tears, snot and pumpkin soup, so you carefully wiped her clean.
  2629. > Wet tissues were one of the better human inventions.
  2630. > You remembered that you were covered in unsavory substances as well and resolved to take a shower.
  2631. > But first you sat with the distraught mare, watching her rest. After a while you pulled the blanker higher and kissed her cheek, careful not to wake her up.
  2632. > Maybe, you began to hope, things would turn out okay in time.
  2633. > Getting out of the room silently was a different problem. You wished you knew a silencing spell to cast on your hooves. Lacking that, you walked slowly and carefully until your feet touched the living room carpet.
  2634. > Anon was sitting on the couch, staring at you.
  2635. > "You're a mess," he commented. it wasn't a jab, you thought, just something to break the silence.
  2636. > His discomfort was obvious. With Pearl destroyed like that, he had no choice but to come to terms with the tragedy in his past.
  2637. "So are you."
  2638. > It was true. The human was unshaven and his hair was greasy. You couldn't remember the last time he had changed his clothes. Or eaten, for that matter.
  2639. > You placed the half-full bowl of soup in his lap. You had used the spoon with Pearl Shine, but you didn't think the human would mind.
  2640. "Eat this," you told him.
  2641. > The last thing you wanted was for the human to wane as well. You had your hooves full with the pegasus, you didn't want to imagine babying the human, too.
  2642. > Would you?
  2643. > He was still the same monster, however much he seemed to be regretting it now.
  2644. > But maybe you felt a tiny bit less animosity. The fact that you needed him for supplies also helped.
  2645. > He was about to argue, but having taken one look at your expression the man just sighed and began eating.
  2646. "When you're done, there's more in the kitchen."
  2647. > He nodded, but you couldn't tell if it was his agreement that he would eat more, or just the acknowledgement of the fact.
  2648. > It wasn't too important. You needed a shower.
  2649.  
  2650. > ~~~~
  2651.  
  2652. > I called after the unicorn after quickly swallowing a mouthful of creamy soup.
  2653. "Wait!"
  2654. > She paused in the doorway and looked back. I could see her face and neck were sticky and covered with goop. I had a good idea where it had come from.
  2655. "How is... Pearl?"
  2656. > Even asking about her made my heart beat faster with anxiety. Her breakdown, more than anything else, had truly shown me how deep her pain went.
  2657. > My anger and loss had been excuses I had told myself, but faced with the consequences of my rage, they had been quickly stripped away.
  2658. > I was relieved that Lavender was taking care of the pegasus. It gave me time to try and work through the guilt.
  2659. > "She's better, I think," the pony said. Her tone seemed encouraging, despite the slight pause. She turned around fully to stare at me, wondering what I was getting at.
  2660. > Hiding away was only driving me crazy. I needed this mess to be over.
  2661. "I'd like to see her."
  2662. > She considered it, her eyes flicking between me and the door to their room.
  2663. > "Soon, Anon. Give her a bit more time. A day or two," the mare said, full of certainty and hope.
  2664. > Again, I thanked my lucky stars that she was here to handle our damaged guest. She had a much better grasp on how to help Pearl than I did.
  2665. "Okay. Thank you."
  2666. > Two days to get myself in some semblance of order. I didn't expect forgiveness, not from Pearl. But I had to tell her I was sorry, at least.
  2667. > And then... I was already making plans.
  2668. > I had sent an email to Linda - my sister in-law. We hadn't spoken much since the accident. Her daughters would be eight and six by now, I calculated.
  2669. > She had a kind heart, much like Mel. I knew she would be happy to accept the mares and I could trust her to give them a good home.
  2670. > That meant they wouldn't have to look at me and be reminded of our past.
  2671. > Perhaps they could move on. And when the time came, Linda was sure to let them return to their homeland.
  2672. > I resolved to call her the next day if there was no reply to my email.
  2673. > But I hadn't told Lavender any of this. Not until I was sure, I had decided.
  2674. > I didn't want to get her hopes up.
  2675. > By the time my thoughts had run their course, the pony was already gone. Soon after I heard the shower start.
  2676. > It felt wrong as all hell, but I got up and silently walked to the ponies' room. I stopped on the threshold and looked inside.
  2677. > The light bulb was off, but enough sun rays filtered through the small window. I saw the shape on the bed clearly.
  2678. > Pearl was sleeping. Her eyes were closed and her chest moved in short, shallow breaths. Every now and then an ear flicked or a wing twitched.
  2679. > It looked peaceful and I was thankful for that.
  2680. > I had listened to her nightmares over the past few days from the couch.
  2681. > The temptation proved too strong. I stepped in and approached, walking as silently as I possibly could. I was grateful Lavender had found the old rug in the storage room and covered the floor.
  2682. > I stopped at the bed and crouched. My hand hovered inches above Pearl's blond mane, but I didn't touch.
  2683. > It would just frighten her and end her slumber. She looked like she needed it.
  2684. "I'm sorry, sweetie," I whispered.
  2685. > Despite not hearing me, my soul felt a bit lighter. I turned to leave and noticed that the tulips were wilting. I took them from the vase.
  2686. > It was still early in the afternoon and the shops were still open. No doubt Lavender needed something.
  2687. > Lately she had started cooking more and more exotic meals to tempt Pearl into eating.
  2688. > I could get a fresh bouquet for their room and whatever new produce or spices the pony needed.
  2689. > Bit by bit, I'd make it up to them. It might never be done, but I'd be damned if I didn't try my hardest.
  2690. > I began to walk away, but the pony shifted and I froze. I glanced back.
  2691. > Her eyes were open and my breath caught in my throat.
  2692. > She stared at me, a bedraggled, unshaven man, holding a bouquet of flowers. The ray from the sun fell right across my hand, making the tulips positively glow with light.
  2693. > I turned to her and said my words again.
  2694. "I'm sorry, Pearl. I didn't mean to wake you."
  2695. > "I heard," she said, softly. The fact that she wasn't screaming or crying made me feel pretty good. She shifted again and settled into a more comfortable position.
  2696. > I had to say something more. There were so many things I wanted to get off my chest. But I knew that wasn't the time for it.
  2697. > The pony was still working through her own grief. It would be cruel of me to add mine on top of that.
  2698. "Just rest. Lavender will be back to keep you company. And I'll be waiting. When you're ready to talk, I'll be there."
  2699. > She thought it over and nodded, slowly. Then her eyes closed and she quickly fell asleep again.
  2700. > The poor thing must have been exhausted. Maybe that was why she didn't make a fuss at my presence.
  2701. > But whatever the reason, I felt positively elated.
  2702. > The fact that we had a conversation, as short as it was, gave me hope.
  2703. > I quickly got out of the room and sat back down on the couch.
  2704. > The show that was playing didn't interest me. Something about Australia on Discovery channel. It served as a distraction, nothing more.
  2705. > It wasn't long before Lavender finished her shower. She went to peek in on the Pegasus, then joined me on the couch.
  2706. > I knew there wasn't much love lost between us, but I liked to imagine in these quiet moments that we at least got along. If only for Pearl's sake.
  2707. "I'll go hit the stores in a while. Need anything?"
  2708. > She thought about it briefly, before looking at me. "I was thinking of making a salad for Pearl tomorrow. I think I got most of it, but get some lemons, parsley, sesame seeds and olive oil, please."
  2709. > I raised up my hands protectively.
  2710. "Wait, wait, lemme write it down."
  2711. > She started repeating the list as I dutifully tapped it on the phone, but then she stopped.
  2712. > Her ears went up and turned to me while she frowned slightly in thought.
  2713. > "You know what? I'd like to come with. I need to see what else your market has. For ideas."
  2714. > I haven't taken Lavender out since her visit to the vet. And that one wasn't under the best of circumstances.
  2715. > The pony had a pleading expression. Her excuse to leave the house was just that- an excuse. She needed some time away from the memories, from Pearl; even from me, if it was possible.
  2716. "You sure Pearl is going to be okay?"
  2717. > She opened her mouth to lie to me, but then sighed in resignation.
  2718. > "No, but I really need to get out for a while."
  2719. > I took a closer look at the pony. Her coat wasn't as dull as over the past few days, but it was far from her happy glimmering white. Her face looked haggard and worn; a fact which I hadn't noticed until now. There were even bags under her eyes.
  2720. > Lavender wasn't getting much sleep while she tended to the pegasus.
  2721. > Considering Pearl's earlier reaction, maybe it was time I started helping out.
  2722. > But the least I could do was take the pony away for an afternoon.
  2723. "Tell you what: I'll take you to the produce market to check it out. And then I'll also take you to the florist and the garden center. How's that sound?"
  2724. > I thought I saw a smile, but I couldn't be sure. She definitely perked up a little and I could swear her coat glittered a bit more as she jumped from the couch.
  2725. > She looked at Pearl's door uneasily. "W-would you lock it, please?" she said, her ears falling again.
  2726. > I agreed with her judgement, but I didn't say anything. I understood how difficult it was for Lavender to ask that. She was, essentially, telling me to lock up one of her kind like a prisoner.
  2727. > While I was quietly closing the door and turning the key, the crystal pony had already gone to the front door, waiting for me.
  2728. > I joined her and rummaged through a drawer to find her collar and leash. Her face fell when she saw it.
  2729. > "Do we really have to?" she asked, her voice betraying hopelessness above all else.
  2730. "Sorry, girl. Leash laws."
  2731. > She gave me a look I could only describe as 'annoyed'. "I get that," she said. "What I'm talking about is *that*."
  2732. > Her hoof pointed to the metal band. I had taken out her shock collar without even thinking.
  2733. "Oh, sorry."
  2734. > I swapped it for a regular, leather loop and Lavender relaxed. I put it around her neck and attached the leash.
  2735. > The sun shone in the door when I opened it, blinding us. The pony was the first to recover and led the way outside. She paused by the car, waiting for me to open the passenger door.
  2736. > She looked back at me, an unspoken question in her eyes. She wasn't sure I would let her ride in the front, but I nodded and let her in.
  2737. > That earned me another half-smile.
  2738. > Perhaps, in time, Lavender would come around.
  2739. > The thought thrilled me and sped up my heartbeat.
  2740. > If I could win that pony over, maybe there was hope for me yet.
  2741. > But I knew it would be a long and hard journey. It would take all the skills I had gained from breaking them.
  2742. > At least I could put that knowledge to good use.
  2743.  
  2744. > ~~~~
  2745. Mending:
  2746.  
  2747. > You bit back a complaint when Anon led you from the car into the store. He had said it was one of the smaller places - the only one in town that allowed ponies inside.
  2748. > But the room you entered was huge. You had never seen such a variety of items in one place. Shelf after shelf of shiny, colorful things lined the walls.
  2749. > There were several people around, making you feel self-conscious. The collar around your neck seemed larger and heavier than you remembered. It was a good thing that the business was slow, as Anon had said.
  2750. > You didn't dare imagine this place full of people.
  2751. > There was no reason to worry, though. A few gave you cursory glances, but most just ignored you.
  2752. > Anon had to tug on your leash to move you from the doorway. Still staring, you silently followed him to the side, where he took a shopping cart.
  2753. > Then he paused and gave you a stern look. "No magic, understand? It's strictly forbidden. If anyone sees, you'll be in big trouble."
  2754. > He had said 'you'. Certainly, the owner would also be responsible, you thought, but you weren't about to test your theory.
  2755. > You followed Anon around the place, looking at the shelves of... things. You quickly stopped trying to catalogue them all. There were just too many. You couldn't even guess at the purpose for some.
  2756. > After a few minutes, it became a blur and you were able to ignore the materialistic riches around you.
  2757. > Until you reached the produce section. There was absolutely everything, even some fruits and vegetables you haven't even seen before.
  2758. > "So, let me know what you want and I'll get it for you," the human said.
  2759. > You didn't know what you wanted anymore, but luckily you remembered your earlier conversation with Anon.
  2760. "Uh, lemons."
  2761. > They were easy to spot and you led the human there. He began picking them into a clear bag while you gazed around, trying to think of the next thing.
  2762. > You recognized oranges, apples, bananas, but then your eyes fell on strange brown and furry things. You leaned in to smell one.
  2763. > Before you could get a whiff, something hit your head and you instinctively recoiled. An old, wrinkled human was glaring at you, her stick at the ready to whack you again.
  2764. > A woman, you remembered the correct word. You glared right back at her.
  2765. > "Keep your slobber off the kiwi!" she complained, brandishing her walking cane.
  2766. "What?!"
  2767. > "You heard me! I don't know why they allow your sort in here! It ain't civilized," she went on.
  2768. > Looking for Anon, you spotted him a short distance away, fiddling with his phone. He hadn't noticed your predicament, yet. You wanted to call him, then immediately felt ashamed.
  2769. > You could handle an old, annoying human on your own.
  2770. > With a derisive snort, you leaned back in and lightly touched one of the fruit with your tongue before the woman could react.
  2771. > Moments later, her cane fell on your muzzle. It stung, but you've had worse from Anon.
  2772. > "Unbelieavable!" the lady cried. "Where's your owner? I'll be giving him a piece of my mind!"
  2773. > You quickly regretted your impulsive action when you saw Anon walking over.
  2774. > "What seems to be the problem, ma'am?" he asked politely as he grabbed your leash from the floor.
  2775. > She rounded on him, completely ignoring you. "That... *beast* of yours is slobbering all over the fruit. Stealing, no doubt!"
  2776. > The slaver looked at you in surprise. He caught your glare and his face darkened.
  2777. > "I'm terribly sorry, ma'am," he said, making you stare in stunned disbelief. He was apologizing to the crone!
  2778. > "You're damn right you are! And I expect you to beat some manners into the filthy thing!"
  2779. > You were about to jump on the horrible woman and kick her. Or better yet...
  2780. > As soon as your horn lit up, there came a slap on our face, distracting you from the spell you were charging. It made your head ring.
  2781. > At the same time, your leash was yanked hard, lifting your front hooves off the ground.
  2782. > "Not a word out of you!" the Master hissed, bringing his face right up to yours. You hadn't seem him that angry since the day you had gotten drunk.
  2783. > You swallowed a lump in your throat and nodded, feebly. Despite your resentment of the human, you still feared his whip. Your legs were trembling and you felt your ears hanging limp.
  2784. > He slowly lowered you down while the old woman was grinning approvingly. It made your cheeks burn with shame and you dropped your gaze to the floor.
  2785. > "Sorry again, ma'am, it won't happen again," Anon said.
  2786. > You were glad you didn't see the woman's undoubtedly victorious expression. "Good. I don't know why they even allow these things in here."
  2787. > She muttered more, but you did your best to tune her out until she was out of earshot.
  2788. > Only then did you look up at Anon. You couldn't believe it.
  2789. > After everything you've been through with him, it had taken just one crazy old woman to snap him back to his slaver ways.
  2790. > You felt a hot tear roll down your cheek as you glared at him.
  2791. > He wasn't exactly your friend, but now he had betrayed a trust between you two. Something hard-won.
  2792. "I hate you."
  2793. > He didn't seem to care about that. He just pulled the leash up again, sharply. "Keep it to yourself," he barked at you.
  2794. > You heaved a sigh and sat down, refusing to look at the human anymore. He hadn't changed at all! Not where it mattered.
  2795. > "What the fuck were you thinking back there?" he demanded.
  2796. > You refused to reply.
  2797. > Then he crouched down and lifted your chin with a finger, trying to make you look at him. You squeezed your eyes shut in refusal.
  2798. > "Lavender..." he began and exhaled. "I really need you to behave when we're out. Nod and smile and apologize, no matter how insulting the people are, got that?"
  2799. > You refused to give any sort of response.
  2800. > "Fine! She got in your face. The woman obviously dislikes ponies. What were you going to do? Did you want to argue? Maybe kick her a little, or use your magic on her? What happens next?"
  2801. "I don't know. But-"
  2802. > "I'll tell you," he said, interrupting whatever you were about to say. You still weren't looking, but you felt his hand in your mane. He was trying to comfort you.
  2803. > "Whatever you would have done, even if you didn't hurt the woman, she would yell bloody murder. And then someone would call the police. They wouldn't even listen to my story, much less yours."
  2804. > His hand travelled further down your head. You hated it for how much it was calming you down.
  2805. > "They would slap me with a fine and stick you somewhere while they ran your papers. And once they found out how much trouble you've been in the past, the best you could hope for was to return to one of the auctions. But probably they would just have you put down."
  2806. > You finally opened your eyes, if only to stare at him in disbelief.
  2807. > "Is that what you want?"
  2808. "N-no."
  2809. > He seemed convinced of his story. You couldn't tell if he was lying, but his words rang true. It made you sick to your stomach.
  2810. "Is- is that why you trained them - the others. Is that why you trained them so hard?"
  2811. > The sentence had been painful to say.
  2812. > The human nodded, moving his fingers to your ears. That was where you drew the line and angrily pulled away. He didn't try to grab you, letting his hands fall.
  2813. > "I made sure my ponies were polite and obedient, so they wouldn't get into that kind of trouble. Maybe my methods were wrong, but the results are there. They are happy. All of them."
  2814. "Yeah right! Anything to ease your conscience!"
  2815. > He stood back up. "I'll show you. I have an album of letters and photos they sent me. You can see for yourself."
  2816. > The human had promised to show you that once before, but you had both forgotten. Now you were intrigued. But you held on to your resentment, for now.
  2817. "And Pearl? Was she happy, too? Rutted every day and beaten if she didn't act like she enjoyed it?"
  2818. > Reminding him of that was cruel, but you couldn't stop yourself. You had to let the frustration with that old lady out, somehow.
  2819. > Anon's hands clenched and you didn't dare look at his face. For a moment, you were afraid he was going to beat you right there and then.
  2820. > Finally, he let out a breath he was holding. "What else do you need from here?"
  2821. > The change of topic shocked you. Your mouth fell agape and you snapped your eyes to Anon's, trying to guess what had happened.
  2822. > His mouth was a thin, flat line and his face was still a little red from his anger. But the main thing was shock.
  2823. "I- I'm sorry, Anon, I didn't mean to-"
  2824. > Your words were cut off as he yanked the leash again. "What else do you need?" he repeated, more slowly.
  2825. "Uh, parsley. Sesame seeds. Spinach, if you have it in this world. We're also low on eggs."
  2826. > You tried to remember if there was anything else.
  2827. "Another box of wet wipes."
  2828. > He nodded at each item, then looked around. He spotted one of the things on a nearby stand and you quickly followed him.
  2829. > You decided it would be best not to anger him further. That probably also meant you wouldn't get to visit the garden shop, either. Or the florist.
  2830.  
  2831. > ~~~~
  2832.  
  2833. > I was crudely reminded my reasons for beating discipline into ponies. Lavender's outburst, even if the old woman was getting in her face, had been unacceptable.
  2834. > The story I told her of what would happen was probably a bit exaggerated. At most, we would get a fine. The police couldn't look up Lavender's auction record just like that.
  2835. > But if she did something rash and stupid a few more times, someone would take an interest. The cops kept their own files.
  2836. > With the war still technically going on, repeat slave offenders were dealt with quickly and harshly. That much wasn't a lie.
  2837. > The fact remained; ponies needed to be on their best behavior in public. It probably wasn't fair, especially with all the fear and hatred for them, but it was the way of the world.
  2838. > I kept my anger on slow boil until we got home.
  2839. > Lavender was sitting on the passenger seat, staring down at her hooves. She knew she went over the line.
  2840. > Bringing Pearl up like that had been a low blow.
  2841. > But I was determined to show her what I had promised.
  2842. > I led her inside and quickly removed her collar. She was a little surprised at that, but didn't comment.
  2843. > From the way she refused to meet my gaze and wordlessly obeyed my commands, I guessed the mare was expecting a beating, at the least.
  2844. "Come here."
  2845. > I led her to the living room. The album was on a shelf above the TV. I pulled it out and laid it open on the coffee table.
  2846. > Shortly after me, the pony shuffled into the room, still averting her gaze.
  2847. "Go on. See for yourself."
  2848. > She stepped closer and focused on the page.
  2849. > It was a maroon earth pony with a human family standing behind her. I had copied the back of the card and pasted it underndeath.
  2850. > "Dear Anon. Thank you for giving me to the Stevens. They are all I could wish for in a family. Yours, Pumpkin."
  2851. > Underneath, I had written her real name in parenthesis: Windy Dawn.
  2852. > Lavender looked at the next one. She read the words and the name. Then she turned the page.
  2853. > It went on and on. Lavender muttered to herself as she read.
  2854. > "Dear Anon..."
  2855. > "... I am very happy here with Master John ..."
  2856. > "... just adore little Suzie and Peter ..."
  2857. > "... loves to play with my mane ..."
  2858. > "... Granny really appreciates my help around the house ..."
  2859. > "... if you hadn't taught me ..."
  2860. > "... I might never have found ..."
  2861. > "... with all my love ..."
  2862. > Suddenly, Lavender paused and stared hard at one particular page. It showed a bright yellow pegasus, smiling hugely as she held an infant with both her hooves and her wings.
  2863. > I saw a tear drop from the crystal pony to the sentence she was stuck on.
  2864. > "... your every lash, and your every blow have made me into a better pony. I can't thank you, but please know that I forgive each and every one of them. Your sweet Lemon."
  2865. > Lavendered looked up at me, blinking the tears away.
  2866. > "It says her name is 'Lemon Seed'. But she signed the letter as 'Lemon'. You let her keep her name?"
  2867. > I shrugged.
  2868. "I shortened it. She was all too happy to forget her past, so I didn't need to give her a slave name, Lavender."
  2869. > "H-her past?"
  2870. "She was an officer. Led an attack on a human field hospital. It was a slaughter. When reinforcements came, she was there, alone, muttering how sorry she was. She gave herself up."
  2871. > Lavender's eyes went wide and she took a step away from the book and the picture. "B-but she looks so happy..."
  2872. "Yes, because I helped her atone."
  2873. > The pony sat down, unsteadily. "I... need to think."
  2874. > I didn't say anything more as she turned the key on Pearl's room and went inside. I noted that she didn't close the door behind her.
  2875. > Then I heard her talking quietly to the pegasus inside. After a few moments, they fell silent.
  2876. > I leaned back, trying to figure out what to do about Pearl. Was there a future for us?
  2877. > Linda had written back, saying she would love to come visit and see the ponies. I hadn't told her about my job. That would be a problem for another day.
  2878. > But I was almost certain she would take them. If Lavender could behave herself. If not, Linda could give Pearl a loving home, at least.
  2879. > How to break this news to the ponies?
  2880. > A quiet cough alerted me to a presence.
  2881. "What is it, Lavender?"
  2882. > I had asked before looking up, right into Pearl Shine's face.
  2883. "Oh..."
  2884. > She blinked and looked away for a moment, before she could talk.
  2885. > "I'd like to- I want to talk to you, Master," she said.
  2886. > I just nodded, numbly.
  2887.  
  2888. > ~~~~
  2889.  
  2890. > Your heart was hammering, almost drowning out your own words. It took an effort of will to keep your wings folded against your body.
  2891. > Why were you doing it? What could be gained from poking the monster?
  2892. > But you couldn't let things stand, not any longer. However perverse your reasoning, you needed absolution from him.
  2893. > Anger was part of it. You had been happy in your ignorance. If Lavender hadn't shown you the truth, you could have lived out the rest of your life blissfully oblivious.
  2894. > You could have enjoyed your time with this kind, new Master. You would have been glad of the tidbits he gave you.
  2895. > So what if he was only nice to you out of guilt?!
  2896. > But more than the anger, you needed to find a way to live with yourself.
  2897. > You had blamed yourself for their deaths even before Master had beaten it into you. That feeling had come right back with the memory.
  2898. > Every night was a circle of what-if's and could-have's.
  2899. > What if you had been paying more attention? Maybe you could have been faster.
  2900. > They needn't have died.
  2901. > It was tearing you apart; the pain had not dulled in the slightest despite the time that had passed.
  2902. > You had merely taken a holiday from the guilt and horror.
  2903. "I wa- want to talk about t-them."
  2904. > You heard the Master's breath catch and saw his knuckles whiten as he balled up his fists.
  2905. > Maybe he would beat you again. You were fine with that. The physical agony would mask the emotional turmoil.
  2906. > It still made you flinch and close your eyes in expectation.
  2907. > But what landed on your head was not a hit. It was a gentle caress.
  2908. > You looked up at the human in surprise.
  2909. > It took you a moment to understand. You had never seen the Master cry before.
  2910. "I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"
  2911. > Your own tears were flowing again and you backed away from the touch.
  2912. > Tried backing away. He grabbed a fistful of your mane, trapping you. However hard you pulled, there was no breaking his hold.
  2913. > The human slid from the couch, landing on his knees before you. His arm was completely extended and you were almost ready to rip your mane out, just to get away.
  2914. > "Please don't go," he whispered. You almost hadn't heard it over the cacophony of your heartbeat in your ears.
  2915. > You froze. The human tugged and you took a slow step forward.
  2916. > Then another.
  2917. > The grip in your mane was like iron. You had no doubt it would drag you across the floor if you hadn't moved.
  2918. > Soon, you were mere inches from his face. You stared into his eyes, unable to understand what was happening. You didn't know what he would do.
  2919. > Then his hold on you released. You could have fled, but you didn't, mesmerised by his stare.
  2920. > The human brought his arms around your neck.
  2921. > You let him pull you into a hug.
  2922. > Then the Master began talking.
  2923. > "You loved them," he said, making you flinch as if struck. "They were your family, too."
  2924. > He was echoing your thoughts exactly. It was impossible to prevent the anguish from rising anew.
  2925. > You began crying in earnest.
  2926. > It had been denied you for too long. The simple act of weeping for your loss. Not out of guilt, or anger or fear; you wept simply out of sorrow for the first time since the accident.
  2927. > And throughout it all, the Master shared your burden like he had never before.
  2928. > And finally the words came.
  2929. "They were my family! Mel was like a mother! And Sara was a younger sister I never had!"
  2930. > By making you guilty of their deaths, the human monster had taken even that away from you.
  2931. > No, he hadn't made you guilty. He had merely used what was already in your heart. You had believed it and he had seen that.
  2932. > "It wasn't your fault," he said now.
  2933. > You froze, every muscle locking into place. Your breath caught. Even your heart seemed to stop for an instant.
  2934. "W-what?"
  2935. > It had to have been a mistake. You had heard wrong.
  2936. > "The accident... it wasn't your fault, Pearl. There was nothing you could have done."
  2937. > The human pushed away and looked at you.
  2938. > His eyes were wet, too. His pupils were large and his face was haggard. There was sweat on his brow.
  2939. > He was so close that you could see your reflection in his gaze. A dishevelled mess.
  2940. > The pony you saw looked exactly how you felt. Stunned. Overjoyed. Afraid. Hopeful.
  2941. "You mean that?"
  2942. > He almost smiled and his hands cupped your face.
  2943. > "It's the truth, Pearl. It took me this long to finally see it."
  2944. > Something else was bothering him. His eyes slid aside and his hands fell away from you. The beginning of his smile faded.
  2945. > "Can you ever forgive me?"
  2946. > It was a big question. It included everything that had happened to you in the years since the accident. All the pain and misery. All the beatings.
  2947. > Everything was his fault.
  2948. > Every twist of the pliers on your wings. Each lash of the whip.
  2949. > All the anguish you had inflicted upon yourself in the long, sleepless nights.
  2950. > And in the end, the uncountable masses of fat, stinking humans, crushing you beneath their sweaty bodies in that Tartarus.
  2951. "No."
  2952. > A small answer, but it sufficed.
  2953. > His hand was suddenly in your mane again. You felt it grasp your hair and prepared yourself for the beating.
  2954. > But nothing happened. You looked at each other for a long while. Finally, the human let you go and broke the silence.
  2955. > "I understand. But I want a chance to make it up to you."
  2956. > You were tempted to try. It would have been beautiful, you knew. The Master would treat you well and make sure you wanted for nothing.
  2957. > Maybe, in time, you would be able to forget his betrayal.
  2958. "I... don't know."
  2959. > The human smiled at your words. His hope, nearly dashed, bloomed again.
  2960. > "Would you be willing to try?" he asked, cautiously.
  2961. > Your tears were flowing freely again. What you wanted was to kick the human and curse his name. And then leave and never see him again.
  2962. > But he was the only connection you had left to your adoptive family. The memory of Mel and Sara demanded better of you.
  2963. "I DON'T KNOW!"
  2964. > You screamed that at him. It made him flinch, but he quickly recovered.
  2965. > "I understand, Pearl. Look, Linda will come to visit soon. She will take you, if you'd like. All I'm asking is that you give me a chance, okay?"
  2966. > You vaguely remembered the woman and you knew she was nice. Every time she had visited, Mel's sister had brought cookies for you and Sara.
  2967. > Chocolate chip had come a long way toward earning your trust.
  2968. "If- if I like?"
  2969. > The human quickly nodded. "Whenever you want, just say it and I'll call Linda to come and get you. You have a way out, okay?"
  2970. > There had to be a catch. You couldn't believe that the Master had changed that much. It was some kind of a trick.
  2971. "I need to think about it."
  2972. > That would give you some time. You couldn't put your thoughts in order, not with the memory fresh in your mind and the Master staring at you like that.
  2973. > You saw him nod. "Sure. As long as you need, Pearl."
  2974. > There was a shadow beside you. You turned to look and saw the crystal pony standing just behind. She was glaring at the human.
  2975. > "Leave her alone," Lavender said, vehemently.
  2976. > The Master quickly raised up his hands. "We were just talking."
  2977. > The mare slowly stepped around you, bumping you back, away from the human.
  2978. > "You're done now. Come, Pearl."
  2979. > But you refused to move. It was true that you had sneaked out of the room while Lavender was sleeping. But you were a grown mare and could make your own decisions.
  2980. > You didn't like being treated like her filly. Not when it originated from guilt.
  2981. > Her tone toward the human made you understand. Suddenly you saw Lavender in a new light.
  2982. > It all made sense. And it made you angry.
  2983. "Stop!"
  2984. > Both of them looked at you, surprised at your outburst.
  2985. > You tapped Lavender with a trembling hoof.
  2986. "Stop treating me like a child!"
  2987. > Then you pointed at Anon.
  2988. "And you! I'm not your redemption!"
  2989. > You took a quick breath and went on, now that you had their attention.
  2990. "You both want me to be something I'm not! I get it - you're sorry, both of you. You apologized. Fine. Apology accepted! Is that what you wanted?"
  2991. > They looked at each other.
  2992. > "Pearl," the crystal pony began, but you just spoke over her.
  2993. "Let me tell you what I want. I want to grieve and then move on. Got it? No 'forgiveness this' or bucking 'redemption that'! Sara and Mel died and I bucking hate that. I loved them and it broke my heart to lose them!"
  2994. > You felt a hot tear slide down your cheek and fall to the floor.
  2995. "And no amount of 'forgiveness' will make it better!"
  2996. > With surprising ease, Lavender was pushed away and you rounded up on Anon.
  2997. "You're a bucking monster, straight out of Tartarus! I hope you know that. Maybe someday I'll forgive you, but that won't be anytime soon. Call Linda and let me go, please? Or was that a lie, too?"
  2998. > He shook his head, eyes wide and fearful before your rage. "F-fine, I'll call," he promised.
  2999. "Good! Thank you!"
  3000. > You were trembling worse than ever, but you made yourself stand and turn on Lavender next.
  3001. "And you! Why do you care so much about me?"
  3002. > She swallowed before answering. "I- I'm just sorry I made you go through it again. You- you weren't ready and I-"
  3003. "Bullshit!"
  3004. > You had interrupted her with the swear.
  3005. "Before! You wanted me to remember! You simply had to show me who Anon really was. Why?"
  3006. > She looked away, trying to think of an answer. "I- wanted you to know the truth. Please, Pearl, I just-"
  3007. > You interrupted her nonsense again.
  3008. "Liar! You were angry at Anon and wanted him to suffer. You wanted me to make him feel guilty. All I meant to you was revenge!"
  3009. > Your words had come out of nowhere. You hadn't considered that before, but the way Lavender flinched when you said them convinced you they were the truth.
  3010. > She just looked back at you in silence, tears running down her face.
  3011. "That's what I thought! You two are perfect for each other! Just rut each other already and leave me out of it!"
  3012. > You spat on the floor between them and left, ignoring their shocked glances.
  3013. > No one followed you into the room. You stopped in the middle, breathing heavily. A part of you was still expecting a beating from the human, but you pushed that thought away and threw yourself on the bed.
  3014. > You were nothing but a toy in their battle. How could you not have seen it before?
  3015. > Lavender and the human both hated and loved each other. And they needed a pawn to bounce between them; to evoke feelings of guilt and regret in the opponent.
  3016. > You were done being their plaything!
  3017. > And, more importantly, you were done with their disrespect for Mel and Sara.
  3018. > The thought made you cry again, but it didn't hurt so badly anymore. Anon's admission had made all the difference.
  3019. > Finally, you could heal.
  3020. > You embraced the tears and let them flow freely.
  3021.  
  3022. > ~~~~
  3023.  
  3024. > You watched the sleeping pegasus for a long while before finally working up the nerve to wake her. For a brief moment, your horn lit up as you prepared to shake her, but then you thought better of it.
  3025. > Instead, you gently put your hooves on her shoulders and turned her toward you.
  3026. "Wake up, Pearl."
  3027. > Her eyes fluttered open and she quickly recognized your silhouette in the dark room. "L-lavender?" she asked, sleepily.
  3028. "I'm sorry, but I really need to talk to you."
  3029. > The pegasus flinched as a tear fell on her leg. "Lavender? What's wrong?" Despite her earlier outburst, the mare was worried about you. It warmed your heart.
  3030. > She sat up and scooched away. Then she patted the bed, inviting you to sit with her.
  3031. > You dragged yourself up and settled on your haunches, but you didn't look at her, not even when you felt her wing drape around your back.
  3032. > It was a surprisingly pleasant gesture, actually.
  3033. > "Go on, tell me what happened," Pearl asked. "This isn't because of what I said, is it?"
  3034. > You detected a hint of regret in her voice.
  3035. "N-no. It's Anon. We..."
  3036. > The words you were about to say suddenly seemed stupid. But out of the corner of your eye, you saw the pegasus looking at you expectantly. You made yourself continue.
  3037. "We had an argument. A bad one."
  3038. > There was silence for long moments. You were waiting for Pearl to laugh at you. 'That's all?' she would ask, derisively. Why did you even care what Anon thought or did?
  3039. > You shouldn't. But things had changed. So slowly that you hadn't even noticed it, you had grown a little closer to the human. Maybe Pearl had been the common ground you two had needed?
  3040. > There had been an understanding between you, or at least that was what you had thought. The incident with the horrid old woman had shaken that belief and tonight's argument had finally shattered it.
  3041. > You had convinced yourself that the human somehow respected you.
  3042. > It was a big, fat lie.
  3043. > Pearl's wing rustled as your shoulders shook with sobs.
  3044. > "Go on," she said at last, "tell me what happened."
  3045. > You didn't even remember how it began. After the pegasus had said her piece, you and Anon had simply stared at each other for long moments.
  3046. > You were the first to break the ice, unable to stand the accusations Pearl had made. Her words rang too true for your comfort.
  3047. "I don't remember exactly. I asked him if he believed the things you- what you said."
  3048. > The human hadn't known either. But he came out with the stupidest question imaginable.
  3049. "He asked me if you were right - about us. If there really was something between us?"
  3050. > Pearl laid her hoof on your shoulder. "Is there?"
  3051. > You turned away, shaking off her pegasus embrace, and wrapped your legs around your midriff. Of course there wasn't. But how could you convince her?
  3052. "No! Never! Pearl, he drove me to try and kill myself, for Celestia's sake!"
  3053. > Her wing was back immediately as the mare hugged you again, this time with both hooves and feathers. You glanced at her face, but all you could see were her large eyes, reflecting the sliver of moonlight which filtered through the window.
  3054. > "Oh!" she exclaimed and her grip around your barrel tightened. "I'm so sorry, Lavender! I- I didn't know."
  3055. > You pushed on, suddenly anxious to get it all off your chest.
  3056. "He was training me."
  3057. > You shook your head and corrected your own words.
  3058. "Buck it, he was *breaking* me so I'd be an obedient little slave for some rich, fat human who gets off on pony maids or something!"
  3059. > The memory still stung. You were nothing but a piece of furniture to these monsters!
  3060. "But I wouldn't. He couldn't get to me, not really. But every time he beat me, I lost a bit of hope. Eventually, I just-"
  3061. > You heaved a deep sigh and looked at the pegasus. She was watching you in silence, waiting for you to get it all out.
  3062. "I didn't want it to go on. I just wanted it to stop. So, one day, I took a beer bottle I had hidden and broke it. Then I-"
  3063. > Pearl averted her gaze, but her legs around you never wavered. Her wing was trembling around your shoulders, the mare unable to control it.
  3064. > You had to swallow a lump before you could finish.
  3065. "I cut my throat open. Just to get away from him."
  3066. > Both you an the pegasus let your breath out at the same time. You hadn't even realized she had been holding hers.
  3067. > "Buck, Lavender. I'm- I'm sorry. That's messed up," she whispered. It sounded as if she was about to cry, the way her voice was breaking.
  3068. > She heaved another sigh, but she still wouldn't look at you.
  3069. > "I can't even imagine," she went on, working through her shock. "That's- I don't even know what to say."
  3070. "He saved my life. He found me just in time and called help. I hadn't done it right, so they were able to keep me alive."
  3071. > The failure hurt.
  3072. "I wasn't even good enough for that, Pearl! I've never been good for anything!"
  3073. > The pegasus hushed you, extending her other wing and placing the tips of the feathers on your lips.
  3074. > "Don't say that. It's not true, Lavender.
  3075. > You wanted to push her aside, but you just jerked your face away from the wing so you could talk.
  3076. "It is! I told myself I wanted you here so I could help you! So I'd be there for you and try to give you closure. I thought if you saw how sorry Anon was, it would help."
  3077. > The next part was bitter in your mouth and you all but spat it out.
  3078. "Instead, I just wanted you so I could get back at Anon. You were right - I only saw you as a tool to hurt him! I'm just as bad as he is."
  3079. > Pearl thought about it for a long time. Finally, she opened her mouth to agree with you.
  3080. > "No, Lavender," she said quietly. Her wing feathers brushed your cheek with exquisite precision. "I spoke rashly, out of hurt. Maybe-"
  3081. > She saw your eyes widen in surprise, so the pegasus placed the primaries against your lips again to forestall your comment.
  3082. > "Maybe that was a part of it. But it's natural. I don't blame you for it, not anymore. I hadn't known."
  3083. > You were finally able to unwrap your hooves from your belly. They shook badly when you put them around the pegasus.
  3084. > "I don't doubt that your intentions, deep down, were noble. You wanted to help. I appreciate it."
  3085. > You sniffed, trying to keep yourself from messing up her fur with your snot and tears. Then you leaned your face against her barrel and closed your eyes.
  3086. "I'm so sorry, Pearl. I should have handled it better. I'm sorry."
  3087. > You heard the air filling her lungs as she took a breath.
  3088. > "It's okay, I forgive you," she said, her voice resonating deeply through her chest. "By the way, you still hadn't told me what the fight with Anon was about."
  3089. > That was right. You pulled away and tried to look her in the eye. It took an effort, but you managed to keep your gaze still.
  3090. "He said- he said he loves all his ponies and wants them to have happy lives. But I don't believe that. What kind of twisted, bucked up love is that?!"
  3091. > A bit of your earlier anger returned and your voice became harder, more urgent.
  3092. "I mean- beating ponies up until they forget who they were? Crushing their hopes and dreams only to replace them? And with WHAT? A sick desire to serve humans. The day they don't get beaten for making a small mistake is a good day, Pearl!"
  3093. > The pegasus lowered her gaze before your rage, but she still held you in both hooves and wings.
  3094. "I told him if that's his idea of love, then I'd rather he hate me! At least then I could still be myself! He said 'fine'! For a second I thought he was going to beat me again. But he just told me to get out - that he didn't want to see me anymore!"
  3095. > You were breathing rapidly. With a start you realized you had been shouting. There was no doubt the human had heard that. But you told yourself that you were beyond caring. Let him think whatever he wanted.
  3096. > "I understand. I agree with you, Lavender," the mare said as she fanned her wings, tickling your shoulders and the back of your head.
  3097. > "But I knew him before- before he became like this. He was a good person, I promise you."
  3098. "So what? We're supposed to remind him of what he used to be? That's not my responsibility, Pearl. And it's not yours, either, not after he pinned the guilt of that accident on you! You owe him nothing! At best, *he* owes *you* an apology!"
  3099. > The pegasus smiled. "I know. He told me."
  3100. "He's just a- What?! When?"
  3101. > "Before you had your... lecture. He told me he was sorry and it wasn't my fault. The accident. He wanted a chance to earn my forgiveness."
  3102. > It was not something you had expected. From his earlier contrition, you had seen the human falling back into his old role as slaver.
  3103. > You were starting to believe that his remorse had been just a phase. Or worse - an act.
  3104. "I- I don't know why he'd do that..."
  3105. > Pearl seemed to have all the answers again. "He's... how do I explain it?" She looked away for a while, getting her thoughts in order.
  3106. > "He's split in half. Of course he's sorry about losing his mind and the-"
  3107. > She had to pause and swallow at the memory. "The things he did to me. But he has been doing this slavery thing for a long time now. He doesn't know who he is anymore, I think."
  3108. "I don't understand."
  3109. > She sighed and tried again. "Look- when you're around, he's reminded of being a trainer. He needs to make you behave. I don't know why. Maybe it's money, or maybe it's just a job. But it's hard for him not to try and make you into a pony he believes you should be. A meek, obedient *slave* pony."
  3110. > You interjected, filling up the gap in her reasoning.
  3111. "I think he believes he's doing us a favor. He says that ponies who behave have good lives, and those who don't are killed. Horribly."
  3112. > Despite yourself, you couldn't stop the memory of the red mare in the snuff film from surfacing. It made you shiver and Pearl nuzzled you briefly, even if she didn't know the cause.
  3113. > "Exactly!" she confirmed. "He thinks he's doing good. Anyway, that's who he thinks he should be around you. But then I'm here, and he can't help but remember what it was like, back when we were-"
  3114. > It was her turn to shudder and you tightened your grip on her barrel. In response, her wings wrapped more closely around your shoulders.
  3115. > "When we were still a family. He remembers me almost like a daughter. And he wants to be a better person. He needs me to forgive him."
  3116. > You tried to reconcile the two things and it felt like a light had turned on in your head.
  3117. "Oh..."
  3118. > What Pearl was saying made perfect sense. She was a reminder of Anon's past life and you made him think about his new one. No wonder the human seemed conflicted. One moment he was your friend, the next a slaver. He flipped between discipline and indulgence.
  3119. "I think I see it. Why hadn't I seen it before? I think you're right, Pearl."
  3120. > You saw her smiling. She slowly pulled you down to the bed, still keeping you wrapped up in soft feathers.
  3121. "But what do we do? Which one is the 'real' Anon? How do we help him?"
  3122. > A more important question rose in your mind.
  3123. "Do we even *want* to help him?"
  3124. > Her smile faded and she heaved a sigh. As you both laid your heads down and stared at each other across the pillow, you could see Pearl had finally run out of answers.
  3125. > "I don't know, Lavender. I just don't know. Maybe we can't solve it. Maybe it's not up to us? I know which Anon I'd like, but if that only makes him miserable with guilt-"
  3126. > She tugged the wing on which you were lying and you shifted so she could pull it back.
  3127. > "I still care for him a little. I don't want him to hurt. It's messed up, I know. I'm angry - I'll probably never forgive him. But I still care."
  3128. > Then the mare barked a short laugh. "You and Anon are not the only ones who are conflicted. Maybe it's contagious or something."
  3129. > The explanation made you chuckle as well. It lightened the mood, together with the relaxed way you were huddled together.
  3130. > You still didn't know what to do about Anon, but at least you've made a friend.
  3131. > A real friend, this time. You reached out a hoof and brushed a few stray strands of her mane out of her face.
  3132. "Thanks, Pearl."
  3133. > She leaned closer to touch your nose with hers. "Goodnight, Lavender," she said, closing her eyes.
  3134. > You didn't think you'd be able to sleep, not with the way your mind raced. But little by little, the turmoil receded. You were just about to doze off when Pearl spoke again.
  3135. > "Lavender? Why did you hide an empty beer bottle? Were you planning to- to do it for a while?"
  3136. > You blinked your eyes open to gazed in her thoughtful expression.
  3137. "No, nothing like that. I... got drunk one day."
  3138. > It was good that the darkness hid your blush.
  3139. > Pearl giggled in delight. "I want that story. Now!"
  3140. > You were about to say no and try to sleep, but a bit of laughter would do you both good. You just had to remember to stop in the right place.
  3141. "Okay, okay. Anon and I ended up with a deal. I'd try to be a good slave and he wouldn't beat me for every small mistake."
  3142. > Pearl's eyebrows rose and she opened her mouth to ask a question. You quickly plugged it with a hoof.
  3143. "Later! Just- it happened, okay? Anyway, I realized he was succeeding with his... training and it drove me bonkers! One day I just couldn't take it anymore, so I snuck some bears out of the fridge and drank them."
  3144. > Pearl giggled into our hoof, tickling the sensitive frog. That and the story you were telling made you laugh as well.
  3145. "I hid the bottles behind the cupboard because Anon was right there in the living room and I didn't want to alert him by dropping them in the bin. I thought I could get them out of the house later."
  3146. > This time, the pegasus managed to contain her laugh, but the twinkle in her eyes showed you she was amused.
  3147. "Well, I hid two of them. The third one I just left out in the open. Celestia, I got wasted quickly..."
  3148. > The mare couldn't hold back anymore. She was giggling again. Your next admission was bound to make it worse.
  3149. "Then I went and yelled at him. And I think I threw up all over his shirt. It's all a bit of a blur."
  3150. > Her snickering turned into a full-on guffaw. Tears were streaming down her face as she laughed. "T-three beers?" she managed to hasp out.
  3151. "Well, yes."
  3152. > You tried your best to sound indignant while the mare slowly wound down.
  3153. > "Lightweight!" Pearl said with a mischievous grin as soon as she was able to talk again. Then she stuck her tongue out at you.
  3154. "Well, you try starving for a week or two, then downing a couple of those all at once. I'd like to see how well *you'd* think!"
  3155. > The crazy mare was actually considering it! "You know, maybe..."
  3156. "Out of the question!"
  3157. > "It could be just what we need. Cut loose and really talk. Open up. Maybe, if Anon..."
  3158. "Absolutely not! Pearl, look at me!"
  3159. > She did so, but you could see she was still thinking it.
  3160. "Read my lips. No! N-O! Got it?"
  3161. > It took her too long to nod. You hoped she wouldn't do something stupid.
  3162. > You couldn't stop her if she really wanted to. But you were determined never to have a part in that again. Getting drunk with Anon was out of the question.
  3163. > He had promised you and Pearl new homes. It couldn't come soon enough for you. Until then, you'd tolerate his presence, but you didn't have to talk to him.
  3164. > And you certainly couldn't have a party with the human!
  3165. > You sighed in exasperation and turned away.
  3166. "Fine. Good night, Pearl."
  3167. > "Good night."
  3168. > You kept your mouth firmly shut until sleep came. Luckily, Pearl had no more questions.
  3169. > But the story had lightened the mood significantly. You felt a lot better. At least that much you had to admit.
  3170. > The conversation with Pearl had almost felt... normal.
  3171.  
  3172. > ~~~~
  3173.  
  3174. > The ponies hated my guts with varying intensity. On the one hand, there was Lavender Falls who absolutely couldn't stand the sight of me.
  3175. > On the other, Pearl Shine who wasn't entirely sure. She was conflicted and simply fell back to her obedient slave routine more often than not.
  3176. > I noticed they were getting along with each other at least. That part was good.
  3177. > Trying to stay out of their way as much as possible, I planned for the future.
  3178. > As soon as Linda came back from a trip to Europe, Pearl would have a home. It was pretty much settled and the pony was ready to go.
  3179. > I still hadn't broken the news to them that Lavender would stay with me. There was no way I was setting my nieces up with a time bomb like that mare.
  3180. > It would only take one asshole to rub her the wrong way for the pony to snap and do something drastic in public, probably with her magic. Then Linda and her family would be stuck with the shitstorm that followed.
  3181. > No, Lavender would either need to be completely broken, or kept on a very tight leash, however much she hated it. My sister-in-law wasn't the right person for either of those.
  3182. > Since I was unwilling to break her or sell her to someone even worse, that left the pony stuck in my care.
  3183. > I knew it would be a beautiful mess when she found out, but I kept putting it off.
  3184. > It wasn't even the guilt - sure, part of Lavender's volatility was because of my failed training, but she had always been difficult. I suspected she had been a problematic personality even before her capture.
  3185. > Who runs away from their family because they don't like a job they had been offered?
  3186. > ...
  3187. > I was almost out of days to tell Lavender the bad news, but I still had some left.
  3188. > Making my way to their room, I paused in the middle and cleared my throat to get their attention.
  3189. > They looked up from what they were doing. Pearl had been examining my album with the letters from my trainees and Lavender had been reading a book.
  3190. "We need to talk."
  3191. > Cliche, but nevertheless true.
  3192. > The crystal pony just rolled her eyes and returned to her novel. At least the pegasus showed some interest. "What about?" she asked.
  3193. "About what happens next."
  3194. > This got their attention. Even the unicorn looked back at me, expectantly.
  3195. "Day after tomorrow, Linda will come to visit with her older daughter."
  3196. > I saw Pearl light up at the news. She liked the woman. More importantly, the pony knew about that part of my plan.
  3197. > She was probably looking forward to getting away from me and the memories I evoked.
  3198. > Even Lavender seemed to brighten up.
  3199. > I didn't have the heart to tell her. There was no choice, but I just couldn't do it. Not yet.
  3200. "Let's go for a walk."
  3201. > The cold air would help clear my head, I hoped.
  3202. > The pegasus nodded, happy to be doing something. But Lavender just stared at me in disdain. "It's half past eight," she said, barely keeping sarcasm out of her voice. "And it's winter."
  3203. "I'll dress up warm and you have fur. We won't go far."
  3204. > She gave an exasperated sigh, but got to her hooves anyway.
  3205. > I dressed in silence while the ponies waited at the front door. They watched impatiently as I tugged on my boots.
  3206. > The unicorn's mood soured further when I put the collar on her neck. She stared daggers at me, but managed to endure it without protest.
  3207. > Then I went to clip on her leash and the pony stepped away to avoid it.
  3208. > "No," she said. Simple and final.
  3209. "You know you have to."
  3210. > Her hoof stomped down on the floor tiles. "No," she repeated, averting her gaze. Even the pegasus hung her head at the tone.
  3211. > I thought about it. It was late and there probably wouldn't be any people around.
  3212. "Fine."
  3213. > My frustration with her must have been obvious, because the other mare quickly came to bump my hand with her nose.
  3214. > "I'm okay with it," Pearl said and cocked her head to the side so her neck would be easier to reach. She allowed me to collar her and attach the leash without fuss.
  3215. > The little display removed any trace of indecision from my mind. While the pegasus was well behaved, Lavender on the other hand, could not be trusted with Linda and her family.
  3216. > Her obstinacy was partly my fault, I understood that. My mistakes have left the pony resentful and angry all the time.
  3217. > But there was something else. Ever since Pearl had accused us of harboring secret feelings for each other, the unicorn had been especially cold and distant.
  3218. > I had jokingly asked her about it, but Lavender had nearly bitten my head off.
  3219. > She had refused to have anything to do with me ever since, as if trying to show me just how little she cared.
  3220. > Or maybe she was trying to convince herself?
  3221. > That was an entirely different can of worms, one I definitely wasn't ready to open.
  3222. > I let us out and set off toward the lake. Lavender knew the way and walked a few paces ahead. Her breath left a mist in the air, reminding me of nothing so much as a steam engine.
  3223. > It looked as if the crystal pony was doing her best to disassociate herself with me, but I didn't call her out on it.
  3224. > Rather than try to engage the recalcitrant unicorn I opted to speak with Pearl.
  3225. "Anyway, you remember Linda, right?"
  3226. > I saw her nod, briefly, before her eyes returned to the path. There was no snow, so it was easy to slip on an insidious patch of ice.
  3227. > Despite her four legs, Pearl wasn't taking any chances.
  3228. > "I like her," she admitted. "she makes good cookies."
  3229. "Haha, yes! Chocolate chip, right?"
  3230. > The pony smacked her lips. "Delicious! I'll ask her to bring you a batch every now and then."
  3231. "Thanks, I look forward to it."
  3232. > I was reminded of the pegasus I had known before the accident. I knew sending her away was her best chance to become that happy pony once again.
  3233. > "But only if you're good," Pearl added with a small grin.
  3234. > It made me laugh out of relief. Even a few days ago, the pegasus would never had made a joke like that.
  3235. > Too bad Lavender didn't share in our mirth. I saw her glance back, then blow air out through her nose in a derisive snort.
  3236. > I did my best to ignore it. After all, the mare was only digging her own hole.
  3237. "Well, I spoke to her and she's willing to take you in."
  3238. > Pearl had been expecting as much, but I still saw her perk up when she had confirmation. I could swear her eyes lit up, although that might have been a reflection from a street lamp.
  3239. "She's a good person, I think you'll be really happy with her. And her daughters will love you."
  3240. > "As long as we're away from you," the unicorn commented without looking back.
  3241. > My grin slipped and I took a deep breath. If I didn't tell her the truth right then, I probably never would, not until she found out elsewhere.
  3242. > I steeled my resolve and delivered the bad news.
  3243. "You're not going, Lavender."
  3244. > She stopped so suddenly that I nearly walked into her. Then she whirled around, the accustomed anger in her eyes already replaced by fear.
  3245. > "What?!" she demanded. The pony was trembling, but it wasn't from cold. "Yes I am!"
  3246. > I shook my head.
  3247. "No. I can't trust you to behave. I don't want you causing trouble for Linda and her family."
  3248. > The mare crouched a little and laid her ears flat against her head. It looked like she would either attack me or bolt. She tried to look around surreptitiously and I guessed it was the latter.
  3249. "Go on. Run away if you want. But then we're through. You better hope they don't catch you alive, because all you'll get is the work camp."
  3250. > I wasn't sure if the threat would work. It hadn't been all that long ago since Lavender had wanted to die.
  3251. > The way her lips began to tremble and she lowered her eyes, told me everything I needed. The pony was terrified of torture and death.
  3252. > It wasn't my proudest moment, but I didn't know what else to do with her. I barely kept myself from sighing in relief.
  3253. "Well? What are you waiting for?"
  3254. > The crystal pony knew she wouldn't run. Her head sagged, but only for a moment. She tried something new out of desperation.
  3255. > Her eyes seemed to stare straight at my heart from her expression of sorrow and heartache.
  3256. > "Why?" she asked brokenly. "What will happen to me?"
  3257. "You'll stay with me, don't worry. You'll still have a good home."
  3258. > "Please?" she begged, taking a step closer so I could see the tears forming.
  3259. "No. Out of the question. You're not... safe for someone like Linda and her kids."
  3260. > "Why?"
  3261. > I counted on my fingers, even though the gesture was probably lost on a pony.
  3262. "One: you don't obey if you don't feel like it. Sometimes I ask you to do things for a reason and I don't always have time to argue."
  3263. > She looked away. Her breath had quickened, I could see that clearly from the clouds of mist that flowed out of her mouth. "I'm not a slave," she muttered.
  3264. "It's not black and white, Lavender. And that's not even the biggest issue with you."
  3265. > I held up another finger.
  3266. "Anyway, two: you're liable to attack people in the street. Remember the old woman in the market?"
  3267. > Her eyes snapped back and she almost spat her words. "That was ONE time!"
  3268. "Yeah, the first time I took you with me. You started out happy, and we were doing something you enjoyed. It only took her a second to rile you up."
  3269. > I stared her down and she slowly lost her fire.
  3270. "And you were preparing to use magic, *despite* my warning. Remember point one?"
  3271. > The mare had no answer. She knew as well as I that it would happen again. It had been one incident, true. But with her temper, there would quickly be another.
  3272. "Three: You're so adamant about this 'slave' thing that you would cause trouble for Linda."
  3273. > "I wouldn't!" the pony argued.
  3274. > I lifted up my hand to show her Pearl's leash looping around my wrist.
  3275. "Where's your leash? If anyone saw us, there could have been trouble. Even if Linda didn't think of you as a pet, the law would!"
  3276. > The unicorn had a haunted expression on her face. She had been so righteously indignant that she hadn't expected me to have valid arguments for my claims.
  3277. > I still wasn't done.
  3278. "Four: Your magic. You know it isn't allowed. And I know Linda would let you keep it, because she's too nice. One slip up and they put you down. No questions, no trial. And then Linda has to explain your death to her kids."
  3279. > As I talked, Lavender's eyes fell to the ground and she began to sniffle. She tried again: "I wouldn't, I swear!"
  3280. "What if you felt threatened? We're back at the old lady again."
  3281. > There was no response, only her heavy breathing and an occasional muffled sob. The pony was determined not to cry in front of me.
  3282. > I glanced to Pearl, who was looking away with tears dripping down her face. She was taking it harder than her unicorn friend, almost.
  3283. "It all comes back to the same thing, Lavender. You're too much trouble. That's why you ended up with me, and that's what I tried to change when I began teaching you."
  3284. > I took a step closer and crouched down. I put my hand in her mane. She didn't resist.
  3285. "Look, I know now my methods were wrong, but the end goal wasn't. You're stuck here, whether you like it or not. If you won't play by the rules, if you're more trouble than you're worth, they'll just get rid of you."
  3286. > Finally, she lifted her head. She stared balefully at me, but didn't comment. She was still fighting back her tears. Her lips parted and I expected a scathing remark, but nothing came.
  3287. "It's not a death sentence, Lavender. Pearl will be able to visit us often. I'll give you your garden. If you want, you can pretend I'm not even there. But I can't let you go to anyone else. For their safety and yours."
  3288. > She seemed very conflicted. From the ugly look she was giving me, the mare would love nothing more than to rip me apart with her magic. But she couldn't get what she so desperately wanted by attacking me.
  3289. > She turned her eyes away as she forced the words out. "I'd like to go home, please."
  3290. "Sorry. We're going to finish our walk. I'd like to show Pearl the lake."
  3291. > Lavender closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. For a while, the only movement were her flaring nostrils and the cloud of steam she exhaled.
  3292. > "Fine," she said in a tight voice.
  3293. > I reached out my hand again, but she moved away from it. I kept my arm outstretched and spoke, my voice tightly controlled.
  3294. "It doesn't have to be forever, Lavender. Prove to me that I can trust you and I'll let you go. To Linda, if she will take you, or somewhere else."
  3295. > She glanced up at my palm. All she had to do was touch it, briefly. But the mare was too stubborn and too angry. Her eyes narrowed and looked into mine.
  3296. > She took a deep breath. "Fuck you!" she swore, using a word she had picked up from humans.
  3297. > It made Pearl gasp in shock and press herself closer to me.
  3298. > My anger flared up and I felt my fists clench. Suddenly I wasn't in the mood for a walk anymore. Something told me Pearl wouldn't enjoy it either.
  3299. > I stood up and began walking back to the house. My retreating footsteps made Lavender look back.
  3300. > A few seconds later, Pearl snapped out of her shock and followed me, casting a regretful glance at the unicorn.
  3301. > She stood still for a long time. I thought that she was going to leave, rather than come with me. That her hatred was insurmountable.
  3302. > But just as we were rounding a corner, I heard Lavender move. She quickly broke into a trot and a brief look confirmed she was following.
  3303. > As I paused to let her catch up, Pearl pressed her chin against my side. I let my hand fall to her mane and ruffled it.
  3304. > "I'm sorry she's so difficult, Master," the pegasus whispered to me.
  3305. > I didn't doubt my decision to keep Lavender away from Linda in the slightest. But I was starting to regret letting Pearl go that easily.
  3306. > The former pony was a nightmare to handle and her disposition was getting worse. The latter was warming up to me with each passing day. In time, I felt, Pearl could once again become the friend I remembered.
  3307. > The difference between the two mares could not have been more apparent.
  3308. > One thing occurred to me, though. If I really wanted to help Lavender, I would need to earn her trust somehow.
  3309.  
  3310. > ~~~~
  3311.  
  3312. > You didn't want to see Pearl, but she came anyway. She was a shameless suck-up and the worst pony you had ever met.
  3313. > Her casual tone with the human, her laughter at his inane jokes, even her feigned concern for you - they all made you sick.
  3314. > And she wouldn't leave you alone.
  3315. > "Please, Lavender," she was saying, sitting beside you on the bed. "You can change it. It's not forever. Anon said-"
  3316. "Buck Anon! Buck you! Buck the war! And buck this entire world!"
  3317. > It wasn't very original, or polite, but you didn't care.
  3318. > "Lavender, you have to keep your head down and survive until we can go home to Equestria."
  3319. "Buck Equestria!"
  3320. > Pearl persisted, entirely ignoring your swearing. "I know you hate everything right now, but at least try to work with him? He really does want you to be happy."
  3321. "Happy?!"
  3322. > You opened and closed your mouth a few times, trying to come up with words that would do justice to how you felt. But you failed.
  3323. > Instead, you turned the argument around.
  3324. "He's a bucking monster! You saw that. You know that first-hoof! How can you be so chummy with that... thing?"
  3325. > The pegasus laid a hoof on your back. You briefly considered pushing her away, but decided not to bother. She would just come back.
  3326. > "I know these things, Lavender. But I grit my teeth and act nice."
  3327. "Act? That wasn't acting yesterday!"
  3328. > She had the decency to look ashamed. "I just- he reminded me of how it used to be. For a moment he became the friend I had known all that time ago, again."
  3329. "Humph!"
  3330. > It occurred to you that you had achieved what you set out to do. From what you could see, Pearl Shine was whole again. She had moved past the tragedy and was working on becoming happy.
  3331. > She would need a long time to truly put it behind her - sometimes, when she remembered, you saw it all on her face. The horror, the pain. Even the guilt.
  3332. > But she had forgiven Anon. She was talking about what happened. She was mourning.
  3333. > Except that her forgiveness had come a little too quickly for your taste.
  3334. "So what? You just bow and scrape and forget what he's done? You forgive him just like that?"
  3335. > "No. Not just like that. But I want it to happen, someday. And to do that, I need to give him a chance."
  3336. > You groaned and put your hooves over your ears. The mare was just too damned nice!
  3337. > "Lavender," she said quietly. "Why do you hate him so much?"
  3338. > That was the stupidest question you had ever heard. You snorted derisively.
  3339. "He beat me until I wanted to die!"
  3340. > "Are you sure that's all?"
  3341. "Do I need more?!"
  3342. > You turned your head sideways and stared at the idiot pegasus. You couldn't decide if she was serious or not.
  3343. > "When I first came here you were acting different. What changed?"
  3344. > There was accusation in her voice and it made you reel.
  3345. "Nothing changed! Why are you defending him?"
  3346. > Of course she refused to believe you. The pegasus brought her face nearer, so she could peer into your eyes from up close.
  3347. > "Are you sure it's him you hate?" she asked.
  3348. "Yes!"
  3349. > "Or maybe you're just using him as an excuse for what happened to you? Being captured and brought here?"
  3350. "No!"
  3351. > "It would be tempting, wouldn't it? Rather than blame yourself, you have a despicable human as a scapegoat."
  3352. "Ye- no! I don't blame myself!"
  3353. > You weren't even sure what you were supposed to yell anymore. Your heart was hammering and your breath came in short, panicked gasps.
  3354. > With a trembling hoof, you tried to push Pearl away, but you didn't seem to have any strength in your limbs.
  3355. > "You can go back, Lavender. Back home. Anon promised and I believe him. You just have to wait out the war."
  3356. > This time you managed to keep your mouth shut. But the pegasus saw the flicker of fear in your eyes.
  3357. > "Wait. Lavender, do you even want to go back?" she asked slowly.
  3358. "YES!"
  3359. > She refused to believe it. "You're still running away," she accused you.
  3360. > Even your voice was shaking. You didn't notice when your horn lit up and your magic enveloped the pegasus.
  3361. "Go- go away! I don- don't want to t-talk to you!"
  3362. > Her eyes filled your vision and you couldn't look away.
  3363. > "What are you running from, Lavender Falls? Something in Equestria-"
  3364. > You screamed, a mix of rage and fear. The pony flew away and impacted the far wall.
  3365. > There was a dull thud as she hit the floor. She wasn't moving.
  3366. > You were by her side in a flash and rolled her over.
  3367. "NO! No, no, no, please don't be dead! I'm sorry!"
  3368. > Tears were streaking down your face and blurred your vision, but you ignored them. You put your head against Pearl's chest and sagged in relief.
  3369. > She was alive.
  3370. > "What the fuck happened?" came Anon's voice from the door.
  3371. > In that moment, you were really glad to see him.
  3372. > ...
  3373. > The blue pegasus was cradled between you and Anon on the couch when she woke up.
  3374. > Despite Anon's insistence that nothing was broken, you watched her closely until her beautiful eyes opened.
  3375. > The relief you felt was like a sunrise and you genuinely smiled for joy.
  3376. "Oh, thank Celestia! I was so worried!"
  3377. > At your words the human glanced over, but didn't say anything.
  3378. > Pearl Shine focused on you. "Wha- what happened?"
  3379. > You leaned down to nuzzle her cheek and rub her back with your hoof.
  3380. "I... threw you."
  3381. > It was hard to admit and your face colored in shame.
  3382. "I didn't mean to and I'm so sorry, Pearl!"
  3383. > The pegasus partly stretched out her wings and turned them this way and that experimentally. Then she carefully tested her legs.
  3384. > The human's diagnosis was correct and the mare smiled up at you.
  3385. > "I'm fine. No harm done."
  3386. "No harm?! Pearl, I could have killed you!"
  3387. > She brought a wing over and laid the stiff feathers against your cheek in a caress.
  3388. > "You didn't. Besides, I probably pushed you too far."
  3389. > Her words rang in your head again. How could the pony have guessed the things she had?
  3390. > "Lavender," her voice broke your train of thought. "I think it's time we talked about it."
  3391. > You shrank back from her stare. You glanced up at the human, who was watching you with a curious expression. Your heart began racing and you averted your gaze.
  3392. "A-about wha- what?"
  3393. > "You're hiding something. What happened to you back home?"
  3394. > It was something you had tried to repress.
  3395. "N-nothing! I jus- just didn't want to be the castle alchemist in the Crystal Empire!"
  3396. > Even as you said it, you felt your ears fold down, betraying your lie. It wouldn't have mattered with the human, but Pearl knew how to read your body language.
  3397. > "Come on. You can tell us the truth, Lavender," the mare insisted. "There's more."
  3398. > You felt yourself shaking your head, but this time not even the human believed it anymore.
  3399. > Anon slid from the couch and knelt on the floor next to you. His hand sough out your trembling ears and gave them a scratch. You didn't pull away.
  3400. > "Come on. We're all friends here," he said. It wasn't true, but the pegasus smiled up at him as if it was.
  3401. > You looked from Pearl to the human and back. They were both smiling. Your hoof rose up and pointed at the pony.
  3402. "Her. I'll tell it to her only."
  3403. > It was obvious that the pony would quickly spill your secret to Anon, but you didn't care. You just didn't want the slaver looking at you while you revealed your deepest heart.
  3404. > "Sure. I'll go take a shower," he said and stood up.
  3405. > You waited until he was gone. The pegasus was watching you expectantly.
  3406. "I- I didn't leave the Crystal Empire because of a job."
  3407. > The first admission was easy, but they would get harder quickly. You felt Pearl's wingtips caress your face and let them pull you closer, until your noses were touching.
  3408. > The gesture was intimate, normally reserved for lovers. But you didn't mind. It was immensely comforting.
  3409. > It made it easier to go on.
  3410. "I e-eloped. To Manehattan. With a young stallion - he was a noble's son and I thought..."
  3411. > Even now the memory hurt and a tear escaped your eye.
  3412. "I thought we would stay together forever. My- my parents were against it, but I thought his would accept me. Accept us."
  3413. > You drew a shuddering breath, remembering those heady days, full of hope and love.
  3414. > And disappointment.
  3415. "Th-they didn't. They c-cut him off..."
  3416. > The wings around your head tightened and you felt Pearl's hoof on your foreleg. The pegasus was silent, but listening attentively. Her face was full of concern.
  3417. > Despite everything that had happened to her, the pony still felt bad for your tragic love story.
  3418. > "What was his name?" she asked, gently. Her question brought forth more tears, but you answered anyway.
  3419. "Opal Gleam. A u-unicorn."
  3420. > For a minute, all you could do was fight against the rush of memory. The way his pristine white horn shone in the morning sun as you stood on the shore of Manehattan and watched the sunrise over the ocean.
  3421. > His cyan eyes reminded you of clear summer skies. His mane, brilliant white, almost matched your sparkling coat.
  3422. > Even the smell of his shampoo - pine needles with a hint of mint. Everything you had been trying to forget since you were captured, rushed back.
  3423. > Pearl let you cry for a while before lifting your chin with a wing.
  3424. > "What happened?" she asked, kindly.
  3425. > That was the difficult part of the story of your failure.
  3426. "W-we fought. It fell apart just like my father said it would!"
  3427. > His prophetic words came back to haunt you. "You're not ready," he had said. And: "You can't live on love alone!"
  3428. "Money was tight."
  3429. > You gave a derisive snort.
  3430. "Of course it was! We had nothing! I opened a herb shop to try and earn a living and he became a kitchen-hoof at a restaurant."
  3431. > You felt your hot tears running down your face and dripping on the couch.
  3432. "H-he resented me because at least my work was something to do with my cutie mark!"
  3433. > "What was his?" the pegasus asked.
  3434. "A sextant. He was supposed to be an astronomer. But his father sent word around. No observatory near Manehattan would hire him."
  3435. > You saw Pearl's expression and it was filled with anger. A long time ago, you had been angry too. But now, you were just sad.
  3436. "Every night..."
  3437. > The words were interrupted by a sob.
  3438. "We fought every night. And then I realized I was blaming him. For the hard work. For the misery. And I- I couldn't stand it. B-but I just yelled harder!"
  3439. > Her wings, brushing your back were helping, if only just a tiny bit. Her hooves around your also felt nice. But neither prevented you from crying.
  3440. > You cried harder than after any beating from Anon. This pain had underpinned your entire life. You had pushed it far away, glad for the excuses slavery has brought. But now it was all coming back up.
  3441. "Pearl! He called me a harlot! And a temptress! He said he never wanted to see me again!"
  3442. > Even the pegasus was sobbing. "I'm so sorry, Lavender," she whispered as she nuzzled you.
  3443. "I slapped him and told him to get out. He... he broke my heart, Pearl."
  3444. > There was no stopping the waterworks now. Both of you clung to each other, lost in the misery of that story.
  3445. > There was just one thing more to tell.
  3446. "I couldn't go back home. I got a letter from father. They never want to see me again."
  3447. > An old remnant of your anger flared up.
  3448. "But *he* got to go home! *His* parents took him back. And I was left in the dirt!"
  3449. > Your face was a mess of tears by now and you barely noticed that Pearl had begun cleaning you with her tongue.
  3450. "And- and I couldn't leave. There was no money. I was in debt. The shop was failing. And I had to sleep in our bed every day and force myself to smile for the customers."
  3451. > The embrace tightened again and Pearl's hoof was slowly petting your mane.
  3452. > Finally the pegasus found words to speak. "I'm sorry, Lavender. I didn't know. You don't have to-"
  3453. "I d-don't know how it's possible, but I both hated and missed him!"
  3454. > You heaved a sigh and your voice grew silent. The pegasus had to lean in closer to hear.
  3455. "He was su-supposed to be my spec-special somepony."
  3456. > It was finally out. You tried to hold on for a few seconds longer to thank the pegasus for listening, but couldn't hold on. The world was lost in a blur of tears again.
  3457. > You felt she knew, somehow.
  3458. > Nothing more was left to say and you let yourself wash away on a tide of sorrow. You clung to Pearl to keep yourself from drowning, but you weren't really aware.
  3459. > A long time later, you felt strong arms pick you up and take you to you bed. But you weren't afraid because a wingtip rested on your cheek the entire way.
  3460. > You were gently laid on the mattress and covered with a blanket. A moment later a soft, feathery body climbed in next to you.
  3461. > The warm hug was welcome and you gratefully nuzzled the pegasus.
  3462. > You didn't hate her, not anymore. Not after sharing that with her. You were just happy she was by your side.
  3463. > But then you remembered she was going away and you started to cry again.
  3464.  
  3465. > ~~~~
  3466.  
  3467. > It was the big day. Maybe, in a small way, you had never truly believed it would come. You had trained yourself not to think about the future, because it always seemed to get worse.
  3468. > But now, it was getting better.
  3469. > Anon and Lavender. You didn't know how you should feel about them. Maybe they'd be okay, or maybe they would tear each other apart. It was out of your hooves.
  3470. > You had gone from one to the other - from the pony to the human and back. You had talked to them. Listened. Tried to steer them in the right direction.
  3471. > They would just have to work it out between themselves.
  3472. > First, they would need to stop ignoring each other.
  3473. > Maybe you could have done more?
  3474. > The train of thought was derailed when you heard the knocking.
  3475. > You quickly looked yourself over. Freshly showered, your blue fur smelled mildly of Aloe. You couldn't see your mane, but unless it had gotten tangled in the past five minutes, it should still be okay.
  3476. > The wings were trembling a little in your nervous expectation, but you firmly folded them against your sides.
  3477. > You were as ready as you would ever be.
  3478. > Your ears turned to the sound of her voice as it took you into the past. Linda- so very much like her sister and yet so different.
  3479. > She hadn't warmed up to you, not right away. Mel had gotten a few lectures when Anon first brought you home.
  3480. > But the woman had a kind heart. You had seen that straight away. It had been only a matter of time before you'd gotten her to smile.
  3481. > Still, she had never introduced you to her daughters. Mel had explained it - newspapers and TV had been full of fear. Every day, a pony seemed to attack their master.
  3482. > However much Linda had liked you, she would not risk her children like that.
  3483. > It had made both of you sad and the woman had promised to introduce them when they were older.
  3484. > By the sound of it, Linda was smiling and excited to meet you again. The snippets of her banter with Anon which you'd overheard sounded pleasant.
  3485. > There was another voice.
  3486. > "Mom, can I see the pony?"
  3487. > It was a child's voice and it almost made your heart stop. For Linda to have brought her daughters was a display of deep trust.
  3488. > Now if only you knew how to deal with children.
  3489. > Mal had always said you were great with Sara, but that had been a long time ago.
  3490. > You heard Anon answer, followed by small footsteps running.
  3491. > "PONY!" the girl screamed at the top of her voice the second she laid her eyes on you.
  3492. > It wasn't easy to keep your smile. Thankfully the little human didn't know how to read pony expressions. You realized your ears were laid back in fear and worry.
  3493. "Hello, little miss!"
  3494. > You were grateful there only seemed to be one of them.
  3495. > The cheerfulness in your voice was forced, but she bought it. A few more steps, a jump and the creature was on the couch with you. She was staring with wide eyes and open mouth, but it looked like she was afraid to touch.
  3496. > That simple fact helped immensely. It was just a child. You quickly took control.
  3497. "What's your name, little miss?"
  3498. > You asked that despite the fact that you already knew.
  3499. > The question made her shy and she looked down at her hands. "Tabby," she mumbled.
  3500. "It's nice to meet you, Tabby. I'm Pearl."
  3501. > Now that she was face to face with the object of her desire, the girl didn't know what to do.
  3502. > Your memories of Sara were still muddled and unclear, much to your regret, but you recalled some things.
  3503. > Very carefully, not wanting to frighten or jostle her, you pushed your muzzle against her hand. As soon as you bumped her knuckles, the palm opened and she instinctively stroked the soft fur.
  3504. > The smile was harder to keep still with the way your heart was racing. You were grateful your wings were pressed firmly against your sides, where no one could see them shaking.
  3505. > But it was all worth it. The child looked up in wonder, meeting your eyes. She gave a small, tentative grin, which warmed your heart and quieted your fears.
  3506. > A moment later, she was hugging you around your muzzle, her small cheek pressed against your forehead.
  3507. > It was a bliss you had forgotten and it quickly got you lost in memory again.
  3508. > You barely registered a weight on the couch behind you. You almost didn't hear the woman speak.
  3509. > "Hi, Pearl. I see you've met Tabitha."
  3510. > There was no way you could answer right away, but Linda undoubtedly saw that. Her hand found your mane and gave it a ruffle.
  3511. > But however much you wanted it, the moment didn't last forever. Tabby drew away and giggled.
  3512. > "She's so soft, mom!"
  3513. > All was not lost, though. Her hand went back to your face, petting clumsily.
  3514. > "Can we really keep her?"
  3515. > You felt yourself nod slightly, even though it wasn't really your decision. Whatever Anon had said, your ultimate fate still rested with Linda.
  3516. > "What do you think, Pearl? Could you handle two of them?" the woman asked with her customary kind smile. "Would you like to come with us?"
  3517. > It went against everything you had experienced since the accident. It sounded as if she was giving you a choice.
  3518. > There was simply no way to prevent your eyes from tearing up. You turned your head away so the child wouldn't see and focused on the woman.
  3519. > A small hand quickly found your ear and tugged, but you simply ignored it, however unpleasant it was.
  3520. "You're giving me a choice?"
  3521. > Your voice was choked up. There was no doubt the woman noticed it. Her hand slid from your mane to your cheek and the other found your hoof.
  3522. > "It's about time you had some of those, isn't it?"
  3523. > You could see the sorrow in her eyes. Linda knew what had happened to you. Of course Anon wouldn't keep it a secret, not anymore.
  3524. > All you could do was nod.
  3525. > "Well, Tabby seems to adore you," she went on, "and I'm sure Clara will be just as taken."
  3526. > Then she looked to Anon. You hadn't even noticed him, standing at the door, a faint smile on his lips. The Master seemed happy for you.
  3527. > "We can trust her, right? I know what she's been through - she'll be fine with the kids?"
  3528. > Before he could answer, you placed your free hoof over Linda's hand, squeezing it. You put just enough pressure on it to draw her attention.
  3529. > You looked directly in her eyes, unblinking.
  3530. "Linda. I swear on my *life* you can absolutely trust me with them."
  3531. > She believed it, but maybe it still wasn't quite enough. She frowned a little and drew her hand back to fix a lock of hair which had slipped its place.
  3532. > "I know what you've been through, Pearl. You don't just shrug something like that off."
  3533. > You were starting to feel fear. Maybe she was worried that you were damaged. She wouldn't want something like you near her children.
  3534. > Lowering your head, you heaved a sigh.
  3535. "I understand."
  3536. > Meanwhile, the child was done with your ear and was now poking at your wing. You let her unfold it a little, so she could run her little fingers over your feathers.
  3537. > A brief glance showed you her face full of wonder as she pulled the limb gently this way and that.
  3538. > "I didn't mean that," Linda said quietly. "We'll still take you. But I want you to sleep in your own room in the start. And I have a good friend who's a therapist. I want you to go visit him with me and talk it out. Deal?"
  3539. > You were doubtful how much a human shrink would be able to help you. But you would do anything to earn Linda's full trust.
  3540. "Of course."
  3541. > The woman smiled at the note of wild hope that had crept into your voice.
  3542. > "Don't worry, we're still taking you in. I just wish I had thought of it back when-"
  3543. > You saw it was still hard for her to say.
  3544. > "...when Mel died. Maybe you wouldn't-"
  3545. > That was the best she could do, but you understood. The woman felt sorry for not asking about you. Maybe she even saw herself as partially responsible for what you'd had to endure.
  3546. "Hey. None of that was your fault!"
  3547. > You poured as much certainty as you could into the words.
  3548. > Suddenly Tabby interrupted your conversation. It was perfect timing too. Both of you were starting to go down unpleasant roads.
  3549. > You made a mental note to steer away from that conversation with Linda.
  3550. > "Can I get a pony ride?" the child asked.
  3551. > Again, her mother looked at you with the question. It was unimaginably flattering to be given the choice.
  3552. "Of course, Tabby! I'd be happy to give you a ride!"
  3553. > You carefully disentangled yourself from both the child and her parent and slid to the floor. The couch was a perfect height for Tabby to reach you.
  3554. "Hold her steady."
  3555. > The instruction was for Linda, but it was unnecessary. She was already holding her daughter by the hand as she clambered on our back. As soon as he was in place, you hunched up your wings to steady her.
  3556. "Good. Just grab onto my mane, Tabby. Don't worry, it won't hurt."
  3557. > She was heavy, more so than you had imagined. Plus, you were out of shape.
  3558. > But her delightful giggle removed any trace of hesitation you might have had.
  3559. > The first step was the hardest. You nearly lost your balance, but luckily Linda was still holding the child's hand and helped steady her.
  3560. > Then you quickly got into the rhythm. You walked around the couch a few times, then made your way to the kitchen and back.
  3561. > You spared the briefest of glances for Anon. Your best guess at his expression was pride. It felt good and you pushed yourself harder than you should have.
  3562. > By the end, your breathing was labored and your muscles felt weak. Linda noticed and picked her daughter up from your back.
  3563. > As the weight lifted, you sighed in relief.
  3564. > The girl quickly came around the pet your face. Her smile slipped when she saw your expression.
  3565. > "Are you okay, Pearl?" she asked with concern. "I- I didn't mean to hurt you."
  3566. > You quickly brought your wing around and rested it against her cheek. Then you gave her a big smile.
  3567. "Don't worry. I'm just out of practice. We'll have to do that a lot so I can build up my strength again."
  3568. > It caused her to squeal with delight and she quickly threw her arms around your head.
  3569. > "Thank you pony! That was super fun!"
  3570. > You just let her hold you for a long time, while Linda and Anon talked about the final details.
  3571. > The Master left for your room and returned with a bag you had packed.
  3572. > There wasn't much in it. A couple of collars and leashes. A few different brushes. Your shampoo and feather oil.
  3573. > There were also some photos from Anon's old album. Pictures of you, Mel and Sara.
  3574. > Something to remember them.
  3575. > Linda took the bag and reached down to ruffle Tabby's hair.
  3576. > "Okay, dear. Let's go home, shall we?"
  3577. > The girl released your face, but she kept her hand in your mane as she walked beside you.
  3578. > It seemed the little miss didn't want to let you go. You were perfectly fine with that.
  3579. > Only one thing was left. You looked at the child.
  3580. "Wait. I just have to go say bye to a friend. I'll be right back, okay?"
  3581. > She nodded, but it still took her long seconds to release you.
  3582. > You hurried to Lavender's room, where the unicorn was sprawled on the bed with a pillow over her head.
  3583. "Lavender. Please look at me."
  3584. > She slowly obeyed. Her eyes were red with crying and her face was a mess.
  3585. > You leaned in to give her a quick lick.
  3586. "I'm sorry you didn't want to join us. I think you'd like Linda and Tabby."
  3587. > She didn't answer. She had begged you to stay with her, but the choice had been made and you had to disappoint her.
  3588. > The poor mare really needed you. It broke your heart to be leaving her like that and you vowed to visit as often as you could.
  3589. "I'm sorry," you repeated. "This isn't forever."
  3590. > She just laid her head down again, determined to ignore you some more.
  3591. "Look. I haven't told Anon anything. But I think you should. Sit down with him and talk. Please?"
  3592. > There was no response.
  3593. "He can't help you if you don't work with him, Lavender."
  3594. > She almost gave a scathing remark, but thought better of it.
  3595. "I mean it! I'll try to visit soon. If you still hadn't told him by then, I'll smack your ass, got it?"
  3596. > It wasn't the best threat, but it was effective. The unicorn stared at you incredulously.
  3597. > "What?"
  3598. "You heard me. Get it together. You're the only one standing in the way of your happiness!"
  3599. > Her face twisted into a sneer.
  3600. > You'd had enough. You reached up and grabbed her face with your hooves. You made her look in your eyes.
  3601. "You wanted to save me, Lavender. You did. I'll never forget that. So trust me when I say this: I want to help you in return!"
  3602. > She slowly nodded, withering under your gaze.
  3603. "Get drunk with him, if you have to. But start talking. Understand?"
  3604. > Another nod.
  3605. "Good. I'll see you soon, Lavender."
  3606. > You planted a kiss on her nose, mindful not to poke your eye out with her horn. Then you leaned further for a quick nuzzle.
  3607. > Too much time had already passed and your new owners were undoubtedly impatient to be off.
  3608. > You hurried out the door, failing to see that Lavender had started to cry again.
  3609.  
  3610. > ~~~~
  3611.  
  3612. > I really didn't know what to do with the pony. She was slipping back into her depression and it made no sense.
  3613. > Lavender had achieved what she had set out to do, but it hadn't made her happy. And she refused to talk to me about why.
  3614. > Pearl had inadvertently let slip that there was a deeper issue bothering the crystal pony - something even from before her capture and enslavement.
  3615. > But Lavender had hardly spoken two words to me since the pegasus had left.
  3616. > I decided it was time to change that.
  3617. > The unicorn was lying on the couch, starting at the TV. It was her customary position when she wasn't skulking in her room or sleeping.
  3618. > She had stopped cooking when Pearl had gone, so I did what I could with my limited skill set. But Lavender refused to have a meal with me. In desperation, I would simply put the food on the coffee table and leave.
  3619. > Later, I would collect the empty dishes.
  3620. > This time, I put down a bottle of gin. I was pleased to note a flicker of curiosity in the pony's eyes, before she schooled her expression back to disinterest.
  3621. > I added a couple of glasses. Then I took the remote and turned off her show.
  3622. > "I was watching that," she said, but didn't move to leave.
  3623. "Yeah, but now we're doing this."
  3624. > She just snorted and looked away, choosing to examine a painting on the wall in minute detail.
  3625. > I planted my ass on the other side of the couch, jostling her. The mare glared at me for a moment, before again averting her eyes.
  3626. "Your choice, Lavender. Drink if it helps, but you're telling me what your problem is."
  3627. > There was no response.
  3628. "I'm warning you. I'll pour that down your throat if I have to, until you talk. I'm done putting up with... this."
  3629. > My arm went out to encompass the pony and her position. The way her ears lowered told me Lavender understood I meant her attitude.
  3630. > "Buck you!"
  3631. > I almost slapped her, but I restrained my hand. I just poured two shots. I held hers out, first.
  3632. > I held it for almost a minute, but she didn't show any sign of complying.
  3633. "Okay, how about this: if you don't help me out here, I'll never allow Pearl to visit you."
  3634. > That threat finally got through to her. I knew the ponies had become friends and it almost sickened me that I used their bond like that.
  3635. > "Y-you wouldn't!" she exclaimed, staring at me. Her face was impassive, but however much she tried, Lavender couldn't quite master her ears. They were lying flat against her head.
  3636. "Last chance!"
  3637. > She sighed and her magic enveloped the glass. It tingled in my hand and I released it. The shot floated to the pony and she quickly poured it in her mouth.
  3638. > It made her choke and splutter. "GAH! What the buck is this?!"
  3639. "It's called gin. Too much?"
  3640. > She just nodded, working her mouth to get rid of the taste. "It *burns*!" she complained.
  3641. "I can mix it with orange juice if you like. Makes it easier to swallow."
  3642. > She considered it for all of five seconds. "Yes, please!" she said. "Ugh!"
  3643. > I quickly fetched a larger glass and a carton. I filled her glass halfway with the juice, then added a quarter of gin. It was even stronger than her first sip, but I hoped the sweet would mask the burn.
  3644. "Try this."
  3645. > This time, the pony took a small sip. She grimaced. "Ugh. It's still bad."
  3646. "Well, you don't need to drink. Just tell me what's bothering you.
  3647. > She was considering it, at least. Even that much was progress. But she finally shook her head. "I can't," she said, sadly, "at least not without this."
  3648. > I watched her down the whole glass, frowning at the taste.
  3649. > We waited for a short while for the alcohol to take effect. Suddenly, Lavender spoke up: "You haven't touched yours."
  3650. > I was hoping she wouldn't notice. I wanted to keep my head for whatever she told me. But I wouldn't chicken out, not in front of the mare. I quickly tossed the gin back.
  3651. > My face remained impassive because I knew what to expect.
  3652. > Lavender's incredulous expression almost made me laugh.
  3653. "What? I had a lot of practice."
  3654. > She burped a little and focused her attention on the table. The carton floated up and poured juice in her glass. Then she added the alcohol, even more than what I had given her. I guessed she had not been paying attention.
  3655. > "I've had practice, too!" she said, tipping it into her mouth.
  3656. > Her eyes widened slightly and she quickly pulled it away, coughing. A few drops dribbled from her lips as she made faces.
  3657. > "Bucking... Buck! I hate you, Anon!" she cursed while I laughed. Already the pony was relaxing a little.
  3658. > I hoped this would be the breakthrough I needed with her. It had worked once before, after all.
  3659. > I calmly poured more for myself and looked her in the eye.
  3660. "Here, let me show you how to do it. Are you watching?"
  3661. > The crystal pony was staring right at my glass as I tipped it up. I swallowed and suppressed a cough. Luckily, Lavender didn't notice how much it burned.
  3662. > Her mouth was hanging open. "How do you *do* that?" she asked. "Can't you taste it?"
  3663. "Years of practice, Lavender."
  3664. > I was thrilled to see her coat changing from the dark gray of her past few days to lighter white. It was a very good sign that the drink was improving her mood.
  3665. > Lavender was a happy drunk.
  3666. > She raised her glass back and looked at it fearfully. Then she took another sip. This time she managed not to choke, but her face made it clear just how bad it was.
  3667. "Okay, let's talk."
  3668. > For a moment I thought she would argue again, but the pony just let out a sigh and hung her head.
  3669. > "What do you want me to say?" she demanded, bitterly. "That my life sucked, even back home? That I have nothing to return to? Or that I still want to go back, even if I'll be just as miserable there?"
  3670. > I almost smiled. That was more out of her than I had gotten since Pearl had come into the house.
  3671. "What was so bad about it?"
  3672. > She almost spilled the secret, but her mouth clamped shut and the pony looked away. I could see she wanted to tell me. Maybe the drink was getting to her already.
  3673. > I quickly poured her another glass of juice with gin and held it up.
  3674. > Lavender took it gratefully and floated it over to her face. But she almost missed and spilled a little down her cheek. "Whoops," she said and corrected the position.
  3675. > This time all of it went down her throat. She still grimaced, but not quite as much.
  3676. "Uh, you got a little something."
  3677. > I pointed to her face, but the pony just snaked out her tongue and licked up the spill.
  3678. > The gesture was cute as all hell and made me smile a little.
  3679. "C'mere!"
  3680. > I patted my thigh. To my surprise, the mare shuffled over, laying her forelegs in my lap.
  3681. > "I just- it's hard, Anon. My family hates me. *Both* my families hate me!" She looked like she was about to cry.
  3682. > I took a gamble and put my hand in her mane. The unicorn didn't pull away - a very good sign.
  3683. > Rather than answering her, I just poured her another glass. I wanted the mare smashed out of her wits. Half-measures wouldn't do.
  3684. > She wrapped it up in magic, but it wobbled unsteadily and I quickly picked it up again.
  3685. "Lemme help."
  3686. > I leaned it against her lips and tilted it up. She sucked up the liquid greedily, like a horse dying of thirst, until it was empty.
  3687. > "S'not that bad," she remarked. "Just needed to get used to."
  3688. > It was starting to affect her speech. I remembered she hadn't had lunch that day.
  3689. > I put the glass back down. It seemed like a good time for some talking between drinks.
  3690. "Why does everyone hate you back home?"
  3691. > That brought on the tears. She crawled forward and fell in my hug.
  3692. > "I got married against my father's wishes!" she wailed. "They dis- diso- disowned me!"
  3693. > The word had been broken up by her sobs, which made me hug her in compassion.
  3694. "I'm sorry to hear that. That is why you left the Crystal Empire?"
  3695. > She nodded, almost taking out my eye with her horn. I made a mental note to be careful.
  3696. > "T-the pony I married - Opal - he lived in Manehattan. His father was rich."
  3697. > She began sobbing again and I prepared for the waterworks.
  3698. > "Hi-his family said I wuh- I was j'st after their mo-money!" she choked out. "But I really lo-loved him!"
  3699. > I began stroking her mane with one hand, even as I still cupped her cheek with the other. I knew more was coming, so I just waited.
  3700. > "They cut him off," she explained, miserably. Her voice had gotten quiet. "We tried anyway, b-but it didn't work out!"
  3701. > I had a feeling where it was going.
  3702. "You didn't have the money. It was hard living, wasn't it?"
  3703. > The crystal pony stared at me in shock, but then she nodded.
  3704. "Lemme guess. You started fighting?"
  3705. > Another nod.
  3706. "And then you found him with another wom- mare?"
  3707. > Her eyebrows shot up and she cocked her head to the side. "A wommare? Whazzat?"
  3708. "Another girl."
  3709. > She shook her head. "No. He went back t' parents. Took 'im back again."
  3710. "Oh, and you were left to fend for yourself?"
  3711. > She closed her eyes firmly shut and nodded. Then she burst into tears again, wailing, sobbing and beating her hooves against my chest.
  3712. > She wasn't careful and I felt bruises coming up, but I didn't push her away. I just wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug. She couldn't kick me that way.
  3713. "Now you can't go back, because your family wouldn't take you. It'd just be you again, starting fresh."
  3714. > I felt her nod and she wailed louder.
  3715. > Settling down for a long wait, I reached over and took my glass. It still had some drink in it, which I downed. Every little bit would help, but I didn't pour another. I wanted to remain sober.
  3716. > ...
  3717. > It took Lavender nearly an hour to cry herself out. By the time she was done, her speech was slurred beyond recognition and she couldn't hold her head upright without swaying. The gin had hit her like a train and it was a blessing she hadn't thrown up over me again.
  3718. > She asked for more and I obliged. I knew how therapeutic drinking yourself stupid was, sometimes.
  3719. > Very soon she had forgotten about her misery and even began smiling a little.
  3720. > Her coat was almost pure white and sparkling. It was the prettiest I had ever seen it.
  3721. > A hoof poked my stomach. "Yu'sa good fr'nd!" she said too loudly. "I'mma- I'mma..." she began, but frowned in concentration, looking for the words. "I'mma s'rry I wuz- for bein' s' diff- diffu... difficult!"
  3722. "Yeah, you and me both, sweetheart."
  3723. > The expression made her giggle like crazy. It was amusing to watch, especially when it resulted in a bout of hiccups.
  3724. > "An-on? Wan' do a fing... y'know? Th' fing," she demanded, bringing her face right next to mine. Her breath smelled heavily of gin with the aftertaste of orange juice.
  3725. > Not entirely unpleasant.
  3726. > The bottle was empty, with the pony responsible for over three quarters of it. I knew there would be hell to pay once the hangover hit.
  3727. "What thing?"
  3728. > "Y'know! Fing!" she insisted, waving a hoof toward the wall. "I wanna... th' cutie mark fing!"
  3729. "Oh, you mean you want to start a garden?"
  3730. > That made her grin and nod enthusiastically. "Ya! Ya, ya, ya, ya, dat!" Her hoof jabbed me again and she went to nuzzle my face. I deftly avoided the horn, but I couldn't prevent the hard smack of her cheek against mine.
  3731. > It didn't really hurt, but it made Lavender giggle like crazy again.
  3732. "Well sure, I already told you that. You can start your garden as soon as the weather clears up."
  3733. > She bobbed her head up and down, happily. "Also," she went on, "wanna visit P'rl..."
  3734. "Sure, I think that could be-"
  3735. > I had spoken too quickly. Lavender wasn't done yet, so she just went on. "Wan' see her... foals?"
  3736. > It gave me pause. Pearl didn't have offspring, at least ones I knew about. Was it possible? Could the pegasus have kept that from me?
  3737. > The crystal pony didn't notice my confusion, though. She went on to explain.
  3738. > "Y'kno? Fillies, uh. She wuz, uh... here?" The mare kicked her back legs and rocked back and forth, almost trampling me under her assault. "Wanna ride pony!" she yelled out in falsetto high tones.
  3739. "Oh! You mean Tabby! Yeah, sure you can go see them. Just promise you'll behave."
  3740. > Instantly, Lavender's face was serious and she stared right into my eyes.
  3741. > "I's.. I. S-, sw-," she tried, having difficulty with the word. She took a deep breath and repeated: "Swear!"
  3742. > I hoped her conviction would persist when she sobered up.
  3743. > The pony looked around, head swaying wildly. Her eyes landed on the empty bottle, but kept sliding off.
  3744. > "Can, s'more- 'nother drink?" she mangled the request.
  3745. "I think you've had enough, Lavender."
  3746. > She shook her head firmly. "S'beer! Kit- kishen! Gonna getsome!"
  3747. > Without warning, she jumped down from the couch, nearly falling on the table. She only managed to catch herself by virtue of having four legs.
  3748. "Lavender, don't. You can't walk. You've had enough!"
  3749. > She shook her head firmly, but it was a mistake. She quickly lost her balance and her ass flopped down. "Whoops!" she giggled and stood back up. I could see how much the room must have been spinning for her from the way she was standing with all four hooves as far apart as they would go.
  3750. > Even her ears seemed to sway as they moved around.
  3751. > To her credit, the mare managed a few steps. It looked like she had to concentrate on each hoof in turn, but she slowly moved them.
  3752. "Stop before you hurt yourself!"
  3753. > She didn't pay me any attention and kept going. She made it to the kitchen door before she miscalculated and lifted the wrong foot. Her head hit the tiles with a painful smack.
  3754. > I quickly walked over to see if she was okay, but the mare was already climbing back to her feet.
  3755. > "Ugh!" she complained. "Stoopid hooves,... work! Dat way!"
  3756. > I placed my hand on her withers, trying to steady her. I felt all her muscles tense up a moment before her eyes bulged out and she gasped.
  3757. > "Oh, I- I'm... gonna," she managed before her stomach emptied itself.
  3758. > I was glad it was on the kitchen tiles this time, rather than my shirt and the rug. But the smell still made me gag.
  3759. "Goddamnit, Lavender!"
  3760. > She sat back on her haunches, watching the puddle in confusion. After a moment she leaned down and sniffed at it.
  3761. > Before I could react, she was trying to lap it up. That was the sign it had gone on long enough.
  3762. > I simply picked her up bodily and took the pony to her room. I carefully lowered her into the bed, hoping like hell she wouldn't puke again.
  3763. > She mumbled something while I was handling her, but quickly stopped when she was lying on her side.
  3764. > I was thankful ponies rarely slept on their back. This way, if she did throw up again, she wouldn't choke on it.
  3765. > "Mmm, dun feel s'good," she complained. Luckily, it wasn't a signal that she would throw up again, just a general complaint.
  3766. > I covered her up and patted her mane.
  3767. "Get some sleep. There'll be hell to pay in the morning."
  3768. > That reminded me. I quickly went to rummage in the drawer where I had dumped all medication I had gathered for ponies over the years. There was aspirin - I had specifically asked a vet once if it was safe.
  3769. > Apparently, it worked even better than for humans.
  3770. > I took a single pill and a glass of fresh water and left them on the table in her room.
  3771. > Then I closed her door and let out a sigh. I could only hope that something would have changed between us when she woke up.
  3772. > If not, I would call Linda and ask for the number of that pony shrink she mentioned.
  3773. > But before either happened, I had a big mess to clean up in the kitchen.
  3774. > At least this time it wasn't on the rug.
  3775.  
  3776. > ~~~~
  3777.  
  3778. > You had time to wonder why Tartarus looked like your room before the condition of your stomach made you close your eyes.
  3779. "Augh- OW!"
  3780. > It started like a groan but ended up in a cry of pain.
  3781. "BUCKING...!"
  3782. > Even cursing was out of question. For a minute you just lay there, hoping the pounding in your head would subside.
  3783. > You tried to find someone to blame.
  3784. > Anon. That was easy.
  3785. > The bucking monster had poured what felt like the entire contents of a still down your throat. You remembered talking about your past, then puking your guts out. Then this miserable existence.
  3786. > Very carefully, you looked around the room.
  3787. > The glass of water quickly caught your eye.
  3788. > Instinctively, without really thinking about it, you reached for your magic.
  3789. "OW! Ow, ow, ow, BUCK!"
  3790. > It was out of the question.
  3791. "Stupid... mare..."
  3792. > You barely managed to chide yourself.
  3793. "Booze- magic... don't mix."
  3794. > The cause of your suffering entered the room, but all you could do was glare at him. The human seemed largely unaffected. You were envious, until you remembered that he had hardly drank at all.
  3795. > It had all been a ruse, just to get you to spill your secrets!
  3796. > He caught the hate in your eyes and grinned. Insolent bastard!
  3797. > "Hey, can I get you anything?" he asked. At least he made his voice quiet and gentle. It still grated, but it could have been worse.
  3798. "Yeah... a knife, please."
  3799. > He just looked at you in confusion. "Why do you need a knife?"
  3800. "Not me... you."
  3801. > "Okay. Why do I need a knife?"
  3802. "So you can... stab yourself. Please?"
  3803. > It made him laugh and you whimpered as the sound seemed to drive iron spikes into your skull.
  3804. > He came closer and laid a hand on your withers. For a moment you considered biting him, but it would probably kill you by headache.
  3805. > Maybe it would be worth it?
  3806. > "Here, take this," he said, picking up a white pill from the table along with the glass of water.
  3807. "What is it?"
  3808. > "Aspirin," he explained. Seeing your uncomprehending look he went on: "It will help with the headache."
  3809. > It sounded too good to be true. But at this point, you were desperate. You just opened your mouth and closed your eyes. Hopefully, Anon would figure out what to do.
  3810. > "Sorry, it's a suppository."
  3811. > Your teeth clenched shut and you felt your tail tuck firmly against your rump.
  3812. > Before you could say no, the human burst out laughing.
  3813. > "The look on your face!" he chortled, wiping away a tear.
  3814. "I'll kill you!"
  3815. > He patted your mane again, then held the pill up to your mouth. You managed to open again so he could put it in.
  3816. > This time, there were no tricks. He followed the medicine with the glass of water and you gulped it down greedily.
  3817. "M-more!"
  3818. > You barely managed to say it while gasping for air. Anon left and brought another glass. He held that one as well.
  3819. > Maybe the pill worked fast, or maybe it was just the water, but you felt infinitesimally better.
  3820. > The human must have seen that, because he grinned at you approvingly. "'atta girl!"
  3821. > You were trying to think up a snarky remark, but he didn't wait for you.
  3822. > "If you want you can sleep it off, or I can take you to the kitchen and get you a cup of coffee."
  3823. > Sleep would be heavenly, but you didn't think you could make it happen.
  3824. "Coffee..."
  3825. > Being carried around was embarrassing, but you didn't care. Hopefully, Anon would throw his back out. That would be funny.
  3826. > Unfortunately, the human was fine and he gently lowered you into a chair. It was an effort to stay upright, but with your hooves on the table you somehow made it work.
  3827. > Anon quickly went about boiling a pot of water.
  3828. > "So, marital problems, eh?"
  3829. > You let out a groan as you remembered that you've told your slaver everything.
  3830. "No. Just- no. I don't want to talk about it."
  3831. > He seemed to shrug. "Okay, fair enough. So tell me this instead: Are you going to work with me a little? You're still stuck with me. I'd like to be able to trust you someday."
  3832. > That was the million bit question, wasn't it? You tried to get a hold on your anger again. It had been a good way to make the human into the monster that was the cause of all your problems.
  3833. > But you've been forced to remember and think about it. First with Pearl, then again with Anon's dirty alcohol trick.
  3834. > Your life wouldn't get magically better, even if you found yourself in Equestria again, a free mare.
  3835. > Father would still hate you and Mother would probably take his side.
  3836. > Opal's family - they had probably escaped to the Crystal Empire - would still be a bunch of stuck-up, lowlife, backstabbing bastards.
  3837. > You would still be a bitless, jobless nobody with no real means of making a living. The herb thing kinda worked in Manehattan, but crystal ponies bought their salves and potions from the Royal Apothecary.
  3838. > With mounting horror, you realized that - aside from the whole slavery thing - you didn't have it bad with Anon.
  3839. > But you would die before you admitted that.
  3840. > When had it changed so much? When had the human gone from a slaver intent on breaking your spirit, to something more like your *caretaker*?
  3841. > Maybe when you confronted him with the reality of what he had done to Pearl? Or maybe when the pegasus had snapped and yelled at him?
  3842. > There was a much more important question on your mind.
  3843. > Would it last?
  3844. > Maybe you could try to work with him, at least.
  3845. "Someday."
  3846. > You answered his question. Even that was enough to make him smile.
  3847. > "You asked for a garden both times you were drunk. I know how much it means to you. So that's how we'll start."
  3848. > The promise of growing herbs - fulfilling your life's destiny - made you perk up your ears.
  3849. > "Monday morning, we'll go hit the garden center. Promise you'll behave in public and we'll get everything you need to get started as soon as the thaw comes."
  3850. > You weren't sure you could do that. However much you were forced to admit that Anon was right - lashing out in public would hurt you, just as much as him - you didn't know if you could keep your temper in check.
  3851. "I'll try. I promise."
  3852. > He stepped away from the stove just to ruffle your already-disheveled mane. "Good girl," he praised, chuckling at the poisonous glare you shot at him.
  3853. "I'm not gonna trust you just like that. I still remember everything you've done. To me and to others."
  3854. > His smile slipped away, but he nodded. "Yeah, I thought as much. But at least we're talking. We can start with that."
  3855. > Luckily, you didn't have to speak anymore because the water started boiling. He fiddled with the coffee as you huddled miserably around the dual pits of Tartarus; one in your stomach, the other in your head.
  3856. > The aroma brought you out of your misery. "How do you like yours?" the human was asking.
  3857. "Sugar. Milk. Lots."
  3858. > He obliged, turning the black liquid into something more like a sludge. Once the spoon stood upright on its own, you pushed his hands away.
  3859. "That's fine."
  3860. > You brought the mug to your face and dunked your tongue into the goop. It was oversweet and the taste of milk almost overpowered that of the coffee, but you slurped it up gratefully anyway.
  3861. > Barely sparing a glance for Anon as he took the seat opposite you, you pulled the warm cup to your face and nuzzled it affectionately.
  3862. > Like you had once nuzzled Opal Gleam.
  3863. > The unbidden memory made you sigh and close your eyes, so Anon couldn't see you tearing up.
  3864. > He seemed to guess your thoughts. "You really loved him, didn't you? That Opal fellow?"
  3865. "Opal Gleam. And yes I did. Now drop it, please."
  3866. > "How long?" he asked, ignoring your request. "How long between you broke up and you... were caught?"
  3867. "Two and a half weeks."
  3868. > "Ouch. Yeah, I can see why you hated everything and everyone here. And your parents; they disowned you? Like legally and all that?"
  3869. > You shook your head.
  3870. "No. But the letter my father sent me was pretty clear."
  3871. > "I'm sorry," he said, sincerely. Then he brightened up. "Maybe they changed their minds? Once they realized you were gone forever. Loss can change things. We wish we could get another chance, to do things differently."
  3872. > That seemed to come from experience. You looked up to see the human watching you with a sad, serious expression.
  3873. "Yeah, maybe."
  3874. > He leaned over to put his hand on your hoof. You didn't jerk away.
  3875. > "Well, for what it's worth, as soon as this stupid war is over, I'll go confront them all with you. How's that sound? If your dad is still stubborn, I'll take a whip to him."
  3876. > Celestia help you, that mental image actually made you chuckle!
  3877. > You were horrified with yourself for that, just as much as with him for suggesting it.
  3878. > Hopefully he was joking.
  3879. "So you'd let me go, just like that? What about all the money you paid?"
  3880. > Maybe you shouldn't be reminding him, or pushing the topic, but it was a kind of morbid, fearful curiosity that drove you at that point.
  3881. > "It's gone. But I don't miss it. I never really needed it. Things are gonna be tight for a while, until I can figure out something. But we'll manage."
  3882. "Tight? Are you broke?"
  3883. > He hesitated a little before nodding. "Basically, yes. I have some room before I hit the limits on my credit cards. But I'll find something next week. Heh, I might have to take a job. Well, at least the house is paid for."
  3884. > You had never considered just how much Anon had given up for you and Pearl. It gave you hope that his new attitude toward ponies was a permanent change.
  3885. > "Of course, if I do get a job, I'll expect you to help out."
  3886. > There it was again. You narrowed your eyes, peering at the slaver with suspicion.
  3887. > He quickly raised his hands. "Whoa, hey! All I'm suggesting is that you cook and clean for me. You know, in return to the hundred and fifty grand I paid to keep you?"
  3888. "Is- is that a lot?"
  3889. > He chuckled mirthlessly. "As much as this house and the land it's on. That's two years' salary, right there."
  3890. "I see."
  3891. > Could you do it? Help out with the chores at least?
  3892. "And if I say no?"
  3893. > He had been thinking about it, obviously. The human already had an answer. "Well, if you can grow rare herbs and make some potions, we could sell them over the Internet. Can you do magical potions? Cause that would be worth a lot. We'd need to be careful, though. Nothing too fancy."
  3894. "I'll do it. Just- don't make me clean and all that. It feels like I'm a servant. I'll see what sort of salves or potions I can make with the stuff we find in that garden center you mentioned. I'll think of something."
  3895. > "Great! Finish your coffee. Then, if you want, we can go for a walk. Not many people around because it's freezing. But it should help you clear your head."
  3896. > You wanted to say no. You still felt like crap and the oversweet beverage just made you think you were going to throw up. But the pill was working to mask the pain in your head. Maybe Anon was right about this too.
  3897. > And it would be nice to get out of the house. You could even start looking for useful plants. Not likely with the snow, but you never know.
  3898. "Fine."
  3899. > You pushed your tongue into the mug again and licked up the remaining goop.
  3900. > Life with Anon would get more complicated still. But maybe it could stop you thinking about the stupid Opal Gleam and his stupid family.
  3901. > In a way, you almost preferred it back when it was just you and the evil humans and the horrors of slavery. You didn't have time to really grieve.
  3902.  
  3903. > ~~~~
  3904.  
  3905. > "So, tell me. How is Lavender doing?" Linda asked as soon as the ponies were out of the room. Their excitement at seeing each other had been too adorable to not watch.
  3906. > Now the unicorn was showing her friend the backyard, where a crude greenhouse had taken shape and was slowly being filled with plants.
  3907. > That left my sister-in-law and myself able to talk a little. It was her first visit since she had taken the pony and I was curious to hear how Pearl was adapting to her new family.
  3908. "It depends on her mood. Sometimes she still wants nothing to do with me, but every once in a while she can be downright friendly. How much did Pearl tell you?"
  3909. > The woman shrugged and peered around the room as she was thinking. "She said enough. She's worried about her friend."
  3910. "Right. Well, she's emotional. But I think we're finally making some progress. Her little projects help. She won't touch any housework, though."
  3911. > "Why not?" Linda asked and picked up one of the cups. She glanced at the sugar and milk, but didn't add either.
  3912. "She says it reminds her too much of slavery. She's been very adamant."
  3913. > The woman considered that as she took a sip. "I'll talk to her. At the very least she should pull her weight around here."
  3914. > I had done my best to clean the place up before they came, but I didn't doubt Linda could see that my work was sloppy at best.
  3915. "Thanks. How about Pearl? How's she dealing with the kids?"
  3916. > The lady laughed, eyes sparkling. "Oh, she's been an absolute darling! When I- when you told me what she's been through I thought she'd be depressed and mopey. But I agreed to take her anyway. I never imagined she be just so *positive*!"
  3917. > I had noticed that. The Pearl that had walked into my house that day was a very different pony than the one I had brought from the brothel.
  3918. > "And the girls absolutely adore her," Linda went on. "I still insist she sleep in her own room and I lock it up at night, at least for a few more months. But I can already see her staying with the girls if she keeps this attitude up."
  3919. "Are you having her do any chores around the house?"
  3920. > Linda had almost taken another sip of the coffee, but she pulled it away from her lips and shook her head.
  3921. > "I didn't make her, no. I was waiting for her to settle in a little, but she just came up one day and started sweeping the floor."
  3922. > Again I wished I could swap the ponies.
  3923. > "She's been having nightmares," the woman said suddenly, lowering her voice. She looked sad and I noticed a few lines around her eyes. She had had some sleepless nights recently, it seemed.
  3924. "Yeah, I was afraid that'd happen."
  3925. > In all honesty, I hadn't considered it specifically, but it had always been a possibility.
  3926. "Anything in particular?"
  3927. > Linda nodded. "The fire, most nights. It's eerie how real that still is to her. And sometimes she is back- back in that place."
  3928. "Ah. So that's why you've kept her from sleeping with the girls?"
  3929. > She nodded again and took a sip from her cup. "Yeah. That's the main reason. I can't have Tabby and Clara hearing about that sort of thing. I've booked us with a therapist."
  3930. > A chuckle escaped her. "It's funny to think that we already have shrinks specializing in ponies," she commented.
  3931. "If there's money, someone will do it."
  3932. > I could see she remembered my own line of work, but aside from a small frown of disapproval she didn't bring it up.
  3933. > "I'm thinking I'll let her fly," Linda said, changing the topic again.
  3934. "Isn't that illegal?"
  3935. > She shook her head and took out her phone. "No, you can get a special collar," she said while tapping on the screen. Finally, she turned it to me. "This!"
  3936. > It looked like a shock collar, except that it was about double the price. I quickly scanned the description.
  3937. "GPS?"
  3938. > "Yeah. You're supposed to set a distance and it starts shocking if the pony goes too far in any direction. And you can't let her fly in a public space, even with the thing. But from what I could find out, around the house should be fine."
  3939. "What did Pearl say to that?"
  3940. > Linda leaned closer and lowered her voice. "I haven't told her yet. I ordered it and I'll give it to her as a surprise. You wouldn't happen to know when her birthday is, would you?"
  3941. > I had known once - Pearl had told us before all the crap happened. But I didn't remember exactly.
  3942. "Sometime in April, I think. Sorry, it's been a while since I thought about it."
  3943. > "Okay, that's perfect. It won't be freezing anymore and a few days off the mark shouldn't matter. I'll set up a little party. You should come and bring Lavender with you."
  3944. "Yeah, please let me know when it is. Maybe it will do Lavender some good."
  3945. > Seeing her empty cup, I finally remembered my own coffee and hurriedly drained it.
  3946. "Another?"
  3947. > Linda shook her head. "Maybe later. I want to see this greenhouse Lavender mentioned."
  3948. > As I stood up to lead the way, my phone began to ring. It was Paul, my contact for one of the bigger auctions.
  3949. "Uh, go ahead, I'll come after you. Hallway then left, you can't miss it."
  3950. > I answered and the man went straight to the point.
  3951. > "Anon! Where've you been? Still working on that crystal pony of yours? Listen, I've got a problematic unicorn if you want the contract."
  3952. > I wanted to say no, but I remembered my dwindling finances. It wouldn't hurt just to listen, I decided.
  3953. "Tell me."
  3954. > I could picture his grin. "This family has him. Black, stallion, white mane. Used to be aristocracy or something. Botched training, so he's suicidal. I told the guy to ask for you in the first place, but they wanted cheap."
  3955. > An idea formed. Maybe I could put my skills to good use and earn some money while doing it. Lavender probably wouldn't like it, but until her herbs and potions started bringing in some profit we didn't have much choice.
  3956. "Tell me about the family. Why did they get him?"
  3957. > It wasn't something I usually asked, but Paul obliged. "It was a birthday present for the daughter. I offered them some better ponies, but they wanted him, specifically. Something about the color."
  3958. "Yeah, what kind of people are they? Do they treat him well?"
  3959. > "Why does it matter? It's a fucking horse, Anon! Don't tell me you went soft on them?"
  3960. > I heaved a sigh.
  3961. "Tell me or I hang up."
  3962. > "Fine, fine!" he said, exasperated. "They're decent folk, looks like. I offered them a swap, but the daughter wouldn't hear of it. Now they're jabbering about how they want him happy."
  3963. > It had potential. If I could bring it up with Lavender in the right way, she might agree to it.
  3964. "I'll meet with them. What's the stallion's name? Gimme the short history."
  3965. > "Smokey."
  3966. "I mean his original name."
  3967. > There was the sound of shuffling paperwork. "That is the name on the form."
  3968. "I thought ponies had two part names."
  3969. > "I dunno, Anon. Take it up with the guys who caught and processed him. Anyway, his story: Caught with his family trying to run to the Crystal Empire, about two years ago. Been bouncing from auction to auction due to his attitude. I was about to send him to the work camps and cut my losses, but these people wanted him. They gave him to Sasha for training."
  3970. "Sasha? He's an amateur. No wonder he's botched!"
  3971. > "Yeah, I know you can fix it. I have faith in you. I'll give your number to the client. Remember, I get ten percent."
  3972. "Yeah, you greedy bastard."
  3973. > He just laughed and hung up. I sat down on the couch and thought hard about it.
  3974. > Could that be a profession for me? A kind of 'Cesar Milan' for ponies? Rather than breaking them, I could help them find common ground with their human families?
  3975. > More importantly - could I make Lavender see the difference?
  3976. > It would have to wait for when Pearl and Linda left. I stood up and went to join the greenhouse tour.
  3977. >...
  3978. > I found the group out in the yard, next to the result of mine and Lavender's labor. It looked like crap, but I had made sure it was sturdy.
  3979. > Luckily, it didn't have to be very large, the tip of the roof barely a few inches taller than me. It had a wooden frame, over which I had tacked some clear, plastic sheets.
  3980. > On a sunny day the inside was noticeably warmer than the outside.
  3981. > Within, there were some aluminum shelves on which Lavender had placed pots and planter boxes.
  3982. > I didn't have a clue what she put in them, but I gave the pony the benefit of the doubt. A few of the things she had found on our walks, but most of the seeds came from the garden center.
  3983. > The pony picked them all out for less than fifty bucks, so I didn't even look at the receipt.
  3984. > "Over there," the unicorn was saying, waving a hoof, "I put some cooking herbs, coriander, thyme and anethy, mostly."
  3985. > Linda interrupted the pony. "What was that last one?"
  3986. > The pony frowned nervously. "We just call it anethy b-back home." She seemed a little nervous, but she lifted the specific flower pot in her magic and brought it closer to the woman. There were several slivers of green in the black soil.
  3987. > "Looks like parsley," Linda commented.
  3988. > The pony cocked her head to the side. "No, that was a different one. Maybe you have another name for it."
  3989. > She put the pot back, then went on with her tour. "That row are mostly decorative flowers, but over here," she said, indicating a whole shelf, "I've got some medicinal stuff."
  3990. > She looked up at the ceiling concentrating as she listed. "Um, there's a few things for headache, a couple of herbal teas. I've got chamomile and chives. Things for flu and cold, like sage. I'm not sure that one will grow in the cold, but I wanted to try."
  3991. > Then the mare looked at me and smirked. "Anon says I should make a herbal beauty cream. He says it will sell, so I've got a few things for that as well. I just hope it's strong enough for... that," she said, waving a hoof toward my face.
  3992. > It made both Linda and Pearl laugh, but I wasn't upset with the little jab. If anything, it was kind of cute.
  3993. > Her brief speech done, Lavender ducked out of the plastic tent and pointed out the rest of the backyard. Snow had been cleared from a few places and the ground visibly dug out.
  3994. > "I started preparing the soil to plant the garden as soon as the thaw comes."
  3995. > Linda leaned down to ruffle the unicorn's mane. "That's really impressive, Lavender," she complimented with a smile. "I love what you're doing here. And don't you listen to Anon and try to get profit out of this. You're doing it for yourself, not for money."
  3996. > The pony beamed up at the woman.
  3997. > "Yeah," she said, "it's been helping me deal... with things."
  3998. > There was a moment of silence as we all remembered our issues.
  3999. > Pearl Shine thought of something and jumped in the air with excitement. "Oh, oh! Linda, gimme the thing!"
  4000. > The woman snapped her fingers. "Oh, I almost forgot. It's in my purse, I'll get it!"
  4001. > I looked at her quizzically, but the pegasus quickly explained. "Lavender, I got some photos of me and the girls I want you to see!" Her wings flared open in her excitement.
  4002. > I gently caught the tip of a feather before she ran off.
  4003. "Wait, Pearl. I need to ask you something."
  4004. > My gaze went to the unicorn and my sister-in-law.
  4005. "You two go ahead, we'll be right behind you."
  4006. > They obliged and Pearl looked up at me curiously.
  4007. "I got offered another job, but I don't know how to break it to Lavender. We need the money."
  4008. > Her expression darkened immediately. "If you want advice on how to destroy another pony, I'm sorry. I won't be a part of that. And Lavender won't, either."
  4009. > I raised up my hands, as if in surrender.
  4010. "No, nothing like that. The pony is depressed. I mean really down. They want me to... make it better. He had a bad trainer, but now he has a good family and they want him happy."
  4011. > She was conflicted, I could tell by the way she kept opening and shutting her wings. She almost said something, but changed her mind.
  4012. > Long moments later, she finally worked up what she wanted to say.
  4013. > "That's a fine line you're walking, Anon."
  4014. "Well, this guy is going to die if we don't do something. He refuses to eat. Nice people or not, sooner or later they'll get rid of him. They don't want their daughter to see someone fall apart like that."
  4015. > Pearl's eyes narrowed. "And what do you propose to do?"
  4016. "Same thing I'm doing with Lavender. If he can learn to work *with* them, he could have a nice life."
  4017. > She was as doubtful as I. "I don't know how she'll take it. I mean- I don't like it one bit. But if you really mean it, with helping the pony, and if you really need the money... I dunno. I guess?"
  4018. > The pegasus remembered my methods. "No beatings?"
  4019. > I quickly nodded.
  4020. "Nothing like that. Mostly I'd just show him Lavender as an example. It could be good for both of them."
  4021. > "Who is it?" she asked.
  4022. "Black unicorn with white mane. Supposed to be a noble of some sort. Name of 'Smokey'."
  4023. > She cocked her head as she thought about it. "Doesn't ring a bell. Where is he from?"
  4024. > I said the first name I could think of, where most of the ponies were high society.
  4025. "Canterlot, I guess. That's where most of the nobles live, right?"
  4026. > "No, I don't know him. But yeah, being made a slave would do that to most of those stuck-up, fancy-living ponies," Pearl said, making clear her mild distaste of nobility.
  4027. "Well, thanks for your input. I'll talk to Lavender when you're gone."
  4028. > She gave me a curt nod and went back into the house. I decided to wait for a while longer, to try and clear my head.
  4029. > I looked over the dug up dirt. It formed neat, orderly squares in the backyard. Lavender had even stuck pieces of wood around to delineate the plots.
  4030. > Then I turned to observe the small greenhouse. Building that had been fun. The unicorn had come up with the plans and I cut the wood up in the garage.
  4031. > She actually helped me nail the pieces to make the sides. Then she held them in place with her magic while I hammered them together in the backyard.
  4032. > It was cheap and ugly, but it was effective. It achieved its purpose, which was to make the pony happier.
  4033. > She most often talked to me when she came back from tending to her herbs.
  4034. > I had unintentionally learned quite a bit about gardening, because I didn't have the heart to stop her or change the topic once she got started.
  4035. > Smiling and nodding went a long way toward her rehabilitation.
  4036. > Perhaps similar methods would work on Smokey as well?
  4037.  
  4038. > ~~~~
  4039.  
  4040. > You couldn't believe you'd let Anon talk you into this abomination. It was wrong and morally reprehensible. It was disgusting. Money troubles or not, you should never have agreed.
  4041. > In the end, it had come down to a simple fact: If you didn't help this 'Smokey', he would be killed.
  4042. > However uneasy Anon's idea made you, the pony's death would partially be on your hooves.
  4043. > It was easy when it had been yourself. You would have preferred death to servitude. But the choice wasn't so clear when it came to somepony else.
  4044. > You'd reluctantly agreed.
  4045. > But now that Anon had gone to fetch his latest 'project' - your face twisted into a sneer at the thought - the doubts were coming back.
  4046. > Was it even your place to decide what was best for a stallion you didn't even know?
  4047. > Anon had promised that he had done his research and Smokey had kind, caring owners.
  4048. > Exactly like all the other ponies he had trained over the years. Why then, had he needed to break their spirits first?
  4049. > Maybe this time it would be different. For one, you would be there to make sure Anon didn't return to his old ways. And also, the human had changed.
  4050. > Or so you believed.
  4051. > All you needed to do was help Smokey through his depression. No training. No breaking.
  4052. > Celestia help you, but you had believed him when the human had said that his owners wanted the stallion happy.
  4053. > You caught the sound of the car and your heart leapt up in your throat.
  4054. > Despite your misgivings, your act needed to be convincing.
  4055. > Your hoof went up to your neck, where a faint scar was still visible under the fur. You didn't want anypony to feel as low as you had that time.
  4056. > You would try, at least. And if Anon went too far, you would murder him in his sleep.
  4057. > All thought was pushed away when you heard the car door open. Moments later there was the unmistakable clop of hooves on concrete. You reached for your magic and turned the knob.
  4058. > The pony would undoubtedly hear the hammering of your heart, but maybe he would mistake it for excitement.
  4059. > You laid your eyes on him.
  4060. > The world seemed to stop for a moment. Your breath caught. Then the floor swayed dangerously, almost making you lose your footing.
  4061. > You felt as if a bell had been struck with you inside it. Everything was ringing and there was a metallic taste in your mouth. You had bitten your lip hard enough to draw blood.
  4062. "OPAL GLEAM?!"
  4063. > Both the human and the pony froze in their tracks, staring.
  4064. > Anon looked from you to him, then back, jaw dropping in surprise.
  4065. > The stallion's eyes grew wide and he worked his mouth, trying to say something.
  4066. > "L-lav.. Lavender?" he managed to whisper hoarsely.
  4067. > Your emotions felt like a storm, with you barely holding on in the middle of it. Foremost were anger and joy in a strange, illogical mixture.
  4068. > You rushed forward, closing the distance between you in a few heartbeats. What you wanted to do was fall in his arms and kiss him. But what you did instead was hoof him right across the muzzle.
  4069. "You utter, miserable bastard!"
  4070. > You poured out all of your misery, longing, pain and regret into that sentence.
  4071. "You left me! I hate you!"
  4072. > There was much more you wanted to say, but that summed it up nicely.
  4073. > His head lowered and he drew a shuddering breath.
  4074. > "Lavender, I-"
  4075. > His words were interrupted by another hoof slap. Tears were running unchecked down your face and you felt your mouth twist into a rictus of fury.
  4076. "You talked me into marrying you! You said it was going to be all right! NOW LOOK WHERE I AM!"
  4077. > He refused to meet your eyes. You raised your hoof again, but Anon caught it.
  4078. > "Stop. That's not helping anyone," he said firmly. "Let's just go inside and talk this out."
  4079. > However pleasing it was to see the human unsure of what to do, the pony in front of you had all your attention.
  4080. > He was in a bad state. His coat was dull and filthy. His mane, usually well kept and carefully styled even when you had been bitless, was in a tangled, greasy disarray. The pony was much too thin, with most of his ribs showing and a hollow void where his gut should be.
  4081. > You couldn't feel sorry for him.
  4082. > The bastard had abandoned you when you had needed him most. He got his family back - his old way of life, while you were left to rot in the Tartarus that was Manehattan Slums.
  4083. > You wondered how he had managed to get caught, but then you decided you didn't care. You just thanked the princesses earnestly for the little tidbit of justice.
  4084. "Fine. Let's go in."
  4085. > You led the way into the house while Anon coerced the trembling stallion to follow. You caught the pony stealing glances at you with a mixture of relief and fear as he was dragged by the leash.
  4086. > He didn't try to speak until you were all in the warm hallway and the door closed.
  4087. > "Lavender-"
  4088. "Shut up!"
  4089. > You didn't want to hear his excuses and accusations.
  4090. "We need a moment, alone," you told Anon.
  4091. > He nodded and held the leash out for you to grab it with your magic. Without any further words, you dragged the stallion through the kitchen to your room.
  4092. > He wanted to fight you, but the shock of seeing your magic working distracted him enough to get him moving.
  4093. > You pulled him into the bare chamber and closed the door.
  4094. "Say your piece!"
  4095. > His eyes took you in. You knew he saw your well-kept, healthy coat and your long, washed mane. No doubt he could smell the faint mint shampoo. He quickly decided you were doing well for yourself and threw himself on your mercy.
  4096. > "Please, Lavender- I love you."
  4097. > The words infuriated you and you felt your ears fold back in warning. Opal's eyes fell and he stiffened in fear.
  4098. "You don't get to say that! YOU DON'T SAY THAT TO ME EVER AGAIN!"
  4099. > It had come out louder than you had intended, but it had the effect you wanted.
  4100. > Opal flinched at the volume and whimpered a little.
  4101. > "I- " he mumbled quietly, "I'm sorry... for everything."
  4102. > With your magic still holding the leash, you yanked him closer until he was forced to look into your eyes.
  4103. "Weeks! For weeks you buttered me with your fancy words and promises! And when my father said 'no', you promised I could come live with your family!"
  4104. > "I didn't know my dad wanted me to marry Pristine! It was arranged before I knew about it!"
  4105. > You lifted your hoof to slap him, but the blow didn't land. You heaved a sigh and closed your eyes instead.
  4106. "I thought I loved you when you told him no and married me anyway. I thought we could make it work."
  4107. > "We could have," he muttered.
  4108. "But then you missed your fancy clothes and your fine meals and the jewelry... and it was my fault. Wasn't it? WASN'T IT, OPAL GLEAM?"
  4109. > His eyes slid away again and he nodded hesitantly. "I'm sorry. We were both on edge..."
  4110. > You slowly unhooked the leash from his collar and let it coil on the floor. Freed from your grip, the stallion pulled away and sagged in relief.
  4111. > "We- we can try again. Lavender! Please!"
  4112. > You took a step closer and carefully parted the fur on your neck. He saw the scar and swallowed hard.
  4113. "I did it myself, to try and escape this Tartarus. But it wasn't enough. *That's* how bad this place is! If you hadn't... swooped me away, promised me all those things I might still be with my parents in the Crystal Empire!"
  4114. > He finally looked in your eyes. There was a tiny flare of anger "I'm sorry. But it looks like you're doing fine now! Better than I am!"
  4115. "Only because I earned it every step of the way! I don't even remember how many beatings... I almost lost my mind here, Opal!"
  4116. > He nodded quickly. "I- I want to be here for you. Please! Convince your master to keep me. I love you-"
  4117. > He was still the scheming, conniving bag of dirt you remembered. Some of the blame for your failed marriage might lie on your side, but the fact that Opal had jumped at the first chance to return to his wealthy family had told you everything you had needed to know.
  4118. > He had wanted you because you were exotic and available. But when things got hard, he had no qualms about leaving you in the dirt.
  4119. > And now, caught away from his precious wealth and comfort, he tried to use any residual feelings you might have for him to improve his lot.
  4120. > His claim of love was a self-serving lie.
  4121. > The fact that you really did still have feelings for him drove you into a frenzy.
  4122. > You had let him use you like that once before. You wouldn't make the same mistake again.
  4123. "Don't say that! Don't you ever say those words to me again!"
  4124. > He didn't see the glow of your magic around the whip. He simply had to push his luck.
  4125. > "I always loved you, Lavender. I'm sorry if I didn't-"
  4126. > The word was interrupted by a slap and a yelp as the thin strap of leather landed across his flank. You strike was true and the blow echoed in the room.
  4127. > You had learned a thing or two from Anon, you thought in perverse amusement.
  4128. > "W-what are you doing? Stop! Lavender, please, my love- Aaagh!" he screamed again as you interrupted his lies with a blow.
  4129. "You don't talk to me about love! You... you hypocrite!"
  4130. > Another lash landed on him and he quickly scampered away. But there was no place to go. His cowardice in the face of his punishment drove you crazy and you followed him with the makeshift whip, not caring where the hits rained.
  4131. > Very quickly his cries rang louder than the leather and the stallion curled up in a small ball, protecting his face with his hooves.
  4132. > His begging had devolved to screaming.
  4133. > But you couldn't stop. You had to beat the years of misery and fear out of *someone*! There had to be some kind of justice in the world!
  4134. > It seemed like only moments passed before the door flew open and Anon rushed in.
  4135. > "What the fuck are you doing Lavender?" he demanded. He quickly grabbed the leash, ignoring the solid lash that connected with his arm.
  4136. > You tried to pull it out of his grip, to continue beating the object of your hatred and misery, but the human held it firmly.
  4137. > Magical grip slipped away and you fell down to your haunches, openly crying.
  4138. > The sight before you said it all. The bruised and beaten Opal Gleam, watching you in abject terror.
  4139. > Anon, staring in shock and disbelief even as he gathered the weeping pony in his arms.
  4140. > The whip on the floor with a bit of blood on the metal hook.
  4141. > The full realization of what you had done - what you had intended to do - hit you all at once.
  4142. > You let out a primal scream of misery. You had become just like Anon. The thing you hated most in the world; now you were it.
  4143. > You had taken your pain, your suffering, your sorrow, and turned them into something twisted and evil within yourself.
  4144. > Just like with the human, it had manifested itself as a desire to hurt others. To make them suffer.
  4145. > And you had begun on your husband. On somepony you had once loved.
  4146. > Just like Anon and Pearl Shine.
  4147. > You swallowed, but couldn't get rid of the lump in your throat.
  4148. "I'm sorry."
  4149. > It came out as a whisper, but it seemed to echo around the room. You were afraid it was a lie.
  4150. > The path was open and you took it. Running past Anon and the still weeping Opal Gleam, you made your escape through the house and out to the back yard.
  4151. > Maybe you could find solace in your garden. Maybe, if you thought about it hard enough, you would find a reason. An explanation. A way to live with yourself.
  4152. > In that room, with the two people who had both betrayed you, all you saw in yourself was a monster.
  4153.  
  4154. > ~~~~
  4155.  
  4156. > I almost couldn't wrap my head around what Lavender had done. After quickly checking over Smokey - or rather, Opal Gleam, which was his real name - and making sure he wasn't badly hurt, I just sat back and tried to understand.
  4157. > It could have been much worse. The stallion wasn't injured, aside from a few bruises and welts. And he was clinging to me as if his life depended on it, bawling his eyes out. I guessed he wasn't crying so much from pain as from the shock.
  4158. > I gently patted his head and tried to calm him down.
  4159. "It's okay, buddy. You're fine."
  4160. > It wasn't much, but it seemed to help. Opal gradually calmed.
  4161. > "Why?" he asked tearfully. He pulled his face out of my wet and sticky shirt to look up at me.
  4162. > "Why would Lavender do this? What happened to her?"
  4163. "You did, I think."
  4164. > His breath caught and his ears went back. He was about to resume his waterworks, so I plunged on.
  4165. "Tell me how you two broke up. I heard her side of the story, but I want yours, too."
  4166. > For a moment it seemed I had pushed him too far, but the pony composed himself. It was a visible struggle and he had to close his eyes and take several calming breaths.
  4167. > "I- I- just couldn't take it anymore," he explained eventually, refusing to look at me. "She was always angry. Unreasonable!"
  4168. "In what way?"
  4169. > Even with his face plastered with tears and clinging to his slaver, the stallion somehow managed to draw himself up regally.
  4170. > "She demanded that I wash dishes!" he explained with a horrified expression. "And sweep! And cook!"
  4171. > It was a struggle to keep my face neutral. I almost burst out laughing. The little guy really was a noble, his words proved it.
  4172. > "Me?! How could she ask that?!" he went on, indignantly. "That is work for the help. I knew we couldn't afford it, so it should have been *her* job until we could!"
  4173. "And you were out working?"
  4174. > Even the word seemed to fill him with disgust. But he wasn't completely stupid. He realized how he sounded. "I was... looking for connections."
  4175. > I made an educated guess.
  4176. "Going out to bars with your old drinking buddies?"
  4177. > His deadpan stare made the room feel a little colder.
  4178. > "Looking for connections," he repeated firmly.
  4179. "Yeah, I can see why she flipped out."
  4180. > "What do you mean?" he asked, suspiciously.
  4181. "There's just one thing left. What did she see in you in the first place? Smart mare like Lavender and a spoiled rich kid like you? I don't think she fell for money."
  4182. > His jaw dropped. Obviously, Opal had assumed I would take his side. He scrambled to get out of my lap, disgust plain on his face. "I- you're- it didn't-" he spluttered, then he settled on his best comeback: "Shut up!"
  4183. > There were already fresh tears in his eyes.
  4184. "A few phrases, I'm guessing. Something you didn't even come up with yourself, probably. And your father's money helped, I think."
  4185. > His expression told me that I had hit the mark.
  4186. "And that's why you're all 'sad' and 'miserable' now. The humans are trying to make you work. I gotta give you credit, though. You made Sasha believe you'd broken. That must have taken some acting."
  4187. > I had lost him. The pony refused to admit it, but he was confused. "Lies! All you humans do is lie!" he countered, falling back on one of the few 'facts' he was certain of.
  4188. > I quickly pieced together the story, while Opal watched with wide, horrified eyes.
  4189. "Tell me if I'm right: Your owner - young girl, impressionable, gullible. You're taking her for a ride and she believes every word about how miserable you are. You're refusing to eat, but she sneaks you a few bites every now and then, enough to keep you going, but make it look like you're wasting away."
  4190. > He almost choked on his tongue.
  4191. "Are you really willing to starve, just to get out of some housework? You're making a child lie to her parents because you're what- too fine to cook or clean up once in a while?"
  4192. > "You- you bastard!" he hissed at me, choosing for the strongest word he knew.
  4193. > Before the pony could react, my hand shot out and caught him by the ear. I drew him closer while he screamed in terror. I examined his mane.
  4194. "Yeah, this 'dirty, neglected, starved' shtick won't fly with me. Do you rub dirt in your coat on your own, or does the kid help you?"
  4195. > As soon as I released him, Opal ran to the opposite wall. It was getting dark and all I could see was his white horn, mane and eyes, staring at me balefully.
  4196. "Any of that sound familiar, *Opal*?"
  4197. > He refused to answer, even to defend himself. But he began sobbing, this time in true fear.
  4198. "Here's what we'll do. I'll teach you how to do all those chores you've been avoiding."
  4199. > The unicorn flinched and gasped, as if I had struck him.
  4200. "Don't worry, we'll go slow so you can learn. We'll also fatten you up some. You'll eat what your owners give you and you'll say 'please' and 'thank you', okay?"
  4201. > "I would die first!"
  4202. "No, I don't think you would. You're a coward."
  4203. > His voice shook badly. "I- I won- won't obey!"
  4204. "Maybe, but I'll let Lavender have some quality time with you every day until you do. And I'll give her a real whip, not that clumsy leash she used today."
  4205. > The threat hit home. I could see the pony touch a welt on his back with his muzzle. I even saw his eyes narrow in a wince.
  4206. "In fact- she will be in charge of you. You're to obey her just like you'd obey me, got that?"
  4207. > The certainty in my voice helped. I had some experience with pony nobility. It wasn't too hard to break them, once you got past the clout and hauteur.
  4208. > This particular pony, if handled properly, could bring Lavender and me closer together.
  4209. > Opal was already sniffling, the only thing keeping him from tears was his pride. He didn't want me to see him weeping, not anymore, after everything I had told him.
  4210. > "Leave me alone!" he whimpered. There wasn't even anger behind the words anymore, just sorrow and fear. "Why don't you all just go to Tartarus and leave me alone!"
  4211. "Sure. No problem. But while I'm gone, you'll make Lavender's bed and tidy up the room. She will expect it spotless by the time she is back."
  4212. > I got up and approached him. The pony shrank back, pressing himself against the wall in fear. But I just gathered up the mattress on the floor and hoisted it up on my shoulder.
  4213. > "W-what are you doing with that?" he asked, fearfully.
  4214. "You won't be sleeping here. I'll set up your bed in the supplies closet for now."
  4215. > It was the final blow and Opal couldn't contain himself any longer. He began weeping and the shame of me seeing it just made it worse. He hid his head under the bed and wrapped his hooves around his muzzle for good measure.
  4216. > I left him to it.
  4217. > ...
  4218. > I found Lavender in the greenhouse, busily fiddling with a few of her plants. Many of the pots were on the floor and she was staring intently at one, brushing the leaves this way and that with her magic.
  4219. > She noticed me come in, but didn't look. "I- I'm sorry," she said, unwilling to turn and meet my gaze.
  4220. "Don't be. You were right. That guy is a hypocrite."
  4221. > That made her whirl around and stare. The pot in her magical grasp wobbled and almost fell, before she caught it again.
  4222. > "I *whipped* him, Anon! He'll never trust us to help him now!"
  4223. > I shook my head and grinned.
  4224. "Nah, he didn't trust us to begin with. He was playing his owners for fools and wanted to do the same with us."
  4225. > The mare cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "What are you saying?"
  4226. "It's an act, Lavender. He's making himself look all miserable and depressed to get out of work. I believe you had similar problems with him back when you lived together?"
  4227. > Before she could stop it, the pony nodded. It made her blush a little in embarassment, so she quickly tried to cover it up.
  4228. > "I saw him! He's thin and dirty and ragged! They really are abusing him!"
  4229. > I shook my head again.
  4230. "He gets bathed every day or two. Did you look at his mane closely? Well washed, with just enough dirt rubbed in to make it look bad."
  4231. > She was stunned. "What?!" It took the unicorn a few moments to gather her wits again. "Well, he *is* starved! Or did he fake his ribs showing?"
  4232. "No, that one is real. He has to refuse food from his owners to keep up his charade, but the little girl sneaks him something to eat when she can at night."
  4233. > The next part was pure guesswork, but I was fairly certain it was right on the money.
  4234. "He probably nags her and complains, but she can't get him any more without her parents noticing. Lavender - he's bullying a child."
  4235. > She believed me and her face darkened. I saw the flower pot she was still holding wobble again. "That sneaky, miserable.. cur!" she spat. "Manipulative bastard!"
  4236. "So you see, whipping him wasn't so bad. He had it coming, especially after trying to butter you up as well. I guess he was hoping you'd indulge him just like that little girl."
  4237. > The mare snorted and pawed the ground with her hoof. I saw her nostrils flare as she took deep, angry breaths.
  4238. > I put my hand in her mane and stroked her neck calmingly.
  4239. "Relax. I know how to handle this. We can fix it."
  4240. > It worked beyond my wildest dreams. She lowered the pot and stared into my eyes with complete faith. "How?" she asked, her voice full of determination and cold fury.
  4241. "We teach him."
  4242. > There was a slight look of alarm in her eyes, so I quickly raised my hands and gave her my best, friendliest smile.
  4243. "Nothing like my old methods, don't worry. In fact, *you'll* be in charge of his punishments, okay? I won't lift a finger to touch him. That way, you have complete control over it."
  4244. > The pony slowly relaxed. "Okay," she said. The way she hung her head down told me she didn't like the idea very much, but she also couldn't find an alternative.
  4245. "You'll teach him to do housework and behave nicely, nothing more. We don't want to break him, like I used to do, and we're not in a hurry - they paid half in advance so we can take a couple of months if we manage our expenses."
  4246. > Hearing the full extent of her duties made Lavender pause. She looked up, uncertain. "Anon, I don't think I can-"
  4247. > I interrupted her before she could talk herself out of it.
  4248. "Nonsense! You'll do great. Remember, the goal is to get him comfortable in his role. We want him happy just as much as his adoptive family. They're nice folk, I already told you that. If you want, we can meet them."
  4249. > It took a while, but she slowly nodded. "I do. I want to meet them. I have to make sure!"
  4250. "Okay, but promise me you'll behave. We have to show these people how nice a pony can be. Just think of Pearl and Linda. That's what we want for Opal and his owners, okay?"
  4251. > This time her nod was more certain. The mare even smiled a little at the memory.
  4252. > "Yeah," she said. "Celestia knows he doesn't deserve that, but it's the right thing to do."
  4253. > I held my arms open and she gratefully walked into them for a hug.
  4254. "Look, I've been thinking. You and I- we can do what I used to do. Only with you watching over me, we can do it *right*!"
  4255. > I felt her nod into my chest. "Yeah," she said in a voice muffled by fabric.
  4256. "But first thing - you have to get Opal Gleam cleaned up. Can you do that? Remember, you have your magic and he doesn't."
  4257. > She pulled away, thinking. Finally she bobbed her head up and down. There was fresh determination in her eyes.
  4258. > "Right," the pony agreed.
  4259. "Good. I put his bed in the broom cupboard for now. I don't want him to bug you at night. I'll also give you a whip - you probably won't need it, but just keep it in sight. It should help him focus."
  4260. > I could see the distaste she felt at the mention of the implement, but her mouth pressed together in a thin line and she nodded again. "I understand."
  4261. "You'll have to discipline him, I think you've seen that already. Just don't be too hard on him, okay?"
  4262. > "Yeah, I- I'll be careful."
  4263. > The mare was thoughtful, but I thought she would do just fine. Her residual feelings, both of care and anger, toward the stallion would help Lavender find her role.
  4264. > But it was time to stop her thinking about it.
  4265. "Oh, by the way: Pearl will have her birthday party next week. What do you say we go out tomorrow and find a nice present for her? We can't go too expensive, but we should get something at least."
  4266. > She immediately brightened up. I started walking back to the house and the pony followed right on my heels. She was full of ideas for a nice, cheap present and I made sure to listen, even as my heart raced.
  4267. > Everything went better than expected. And seeing Lavender like this - happy, engaged in pleasant conversation with her 'owner' - would drive the point home for Opal Gleam.
  4268. > There would be no help from his wife. The despair should make him more amenable to his training.
  4269. > Between the two of us, I believed we could straighten the stallion out in less than the four months I had agreed.
  4270. > And then - who knows? Perhaps, if I picked the cases carefully and took only the ones where I could genuinely help, Lavender would agree to work with me?
  4271. > The possibilities made me smile.
  4272.  
  4273. > ~~~~
  4274.  
  4275. > Being furious helped a lot. Anger and pain. However hard you'd tried to convince yourself that you were through with Opal, his attitude still hurt.
  4276. > Now that you were in charge, it became obvious that the stallion had never thought of you as an equal.
  4277. > All those months you had patiently tended to your herb shop, cooked and cleaned for him came back, filling you with renewed misery.
  4278. > You had been like a maid to the jerk. A maid he liked to rut on occassion.
  4279. > He was trying to get right back into that role, but this time you had a whip.
  4280. > Sometimes in the night, you worried that you had become just like Anon. A monster.
  4281. > But those fears went away when the stubborn idiot flat out refused your orders. Like he just had!
  4282. > You delivered just one lash across his flank, making both the whip and the pony sing.
  4283. > "Ow! Owowow, please, Lavender!" he begged. "I- I'll do it! Please, no more!"
  4284. > At least the noblepony broke down quickly. Even now, you didn't think you had the stomach to really beat him. To draw blood.
  4285. > The two pills levitated toward his mouth and the stallion obediently took them. A moment later, he reached for a glass of water and drank greedily.
  4286. > But you weren't born yesterday. The shame when Anon had shown you Opal's trick still burned.
  4287. "Open!"
  4288. > He sighed in resignation and opened his mouth wide. You examined it closely, even moving the tongue out of the way with your magic.
  4289. > Hiding the pills so he could spit them out later had been low.
  4290. "Good."
  4291. > The stallion sagged in relief. "What hap-happened to you, Lavender? You're like... one of *them*!"
  4292. > The whip smacked his side as the fear flared up in your mind again.
  4293. "Shut up! I'm nothing like them! You're just a stubborn, stuck up,..."
  4294. > Words failed you, so you reached for a human expression.
  4295. "... bastard!"
  4296. > You hardly noticed the tears that were flowing down your face.
  4297. > "I loved you..." Opal said sadly. He had learned to use the past tense. But this time, even that wasn't enough.
  4298. "LIAR!"
  4299. > You screamed it in time with another slap.
  4300. "I was just a- a- a SERVANT to you!"
  4301. > He whinnied in pain as the whip landed again.
  4302. > "I tried to make it work! OW! Please-"
  4303. > His lies were cut off by another strike. But he had had enough and the implement was trembling in your slipping magical grip. You pretended to throw it down in anger, rather than show any weakness.
  4304. > In desperation, you reached for the things you knew for certain.
  4305. "You're gonna wash the dishes when we're gone. And if I find a single speck, we'll have a talk later today, okay?"
  4306. > He shuddered and nodded quickly. His obedience pleased you a little and the feeling scared you. Could he be right about you? Were you becoming a slaver?
  4307. > You firmly shook your head. All the idiot had to do was obey and he'd be much happier. It wasn't like you were asking him to do anything onerous - just the things you had done for him, while he had been out drinking and whoring.
  4308. > That last part you never could prove, but it seemed very likely.
  4309. "I'll be back in a couple of hours!"
  4310. > He flinched at your sudden words, but you were already on your way out. Anon was waiting in the living room.
  4311. > "Kinda harsh there, Lavender," the human commented. You fixed him with a glare, unwilling to take the same thing from him, too.
  4312. "Shut up!"
  4313. > He knew when you were pissed off and didn't say anything more on the topic.
  4314. > "Ready to go? You know what we have to do, right?"
  4315. > You forced yourself to take a few calming breaths to relax.
  4316. "Yeah. I Got it."
  4317. > He was already holding a collar and it warmed your heart to see it wasn't a shocking one. You presented your neck to the human and allowed him to clasp it closed.
  4318. > You still weren't used to it, but it was much less unbearable than it had been at the start.
  4319. > Despite your acceptance, you prodded it with a hoof, trying to push it into a more comfortable position.
  4320. > The human stood up and led the way out of the house, with you right on his heels.
  4321. > The anger was still there, but all it did was make you determined to ace this little test.
  4322. > You behavior before Opal's owners - his family, you mentally corrected yourself - would be exemplary. Celestia willing, at least you and Anon could get some money out of the obstinate stallion.
  4323. > He owed you, after Manehattan!
  4324. > ...
  4325. > Mr. and Mrs. Thomson were nice people, you'd decided. The daughter wasn't there, but from the way they talked about her you got the impression she was a good, kind-hearted human filly. It was obvious from their faces that they loved her, whenever they mentioned her.
  4326. > It was also easy to see that they liked the stallion, despite his attitude. You were more determined than ever to make him understand that - to make the noblepony realize just how good he could have it on Earth.
  4327. > They also fawned over your manners, making Anon secretly smile in pride. You saw him, but the Thomsons didn't. It made you try even harder.
  4328. "Well, to be perfectly truthful, Mrs. Thomson, I was a little reluctant, too."
  4329. > You forced your mind back to the question you were answering.
  4330. "But it really isn't too much to ask, I see that now. A bit of light housework in exchange for a room and food."
  4331. > The woman was nodding enthusiastically. Your best guess put her at thirty-five, but given how little you knew humans, that could be way off. Old enough to appreciate some help around the house in any case.
  4332. "I mean- it's no more than we expect our own children to do once they are old enough, right?"
  4333. > "That's exactly it!" the woman exclaimed, almost standing up from her seat. "That's what I keep telling Abby, but then Smokey says he's tired and the girl goes and does his chores for him. It's not right!"
  4334. > You were sitting in a small but pleasant diner, an hour's drive from the house. Anon had arranged for the Thomsons to meet you two about halfway.
  4335. "Well, I don't know if you knew, but Opal - I mean 'Smokey' - used to be a noble's son. He's not used to doing anything for himself. But don't worry, I'll teach him!"
  4336. > You made sure to smile innocently. Anon had been adamant about not letting them know about your methods.
  4337. > The woman nodded some more and leaned forward, lowering her voice. "Is he doing fine? Abby worries about her little Smokey so. The way he was - it was just dreadful. You'd think we were beating him or something!"
  4338. > Your smile glazed over, but you managed to keep it.
  4339. "He's fine. A little stubborn, but he's eating."
  4340. > The image of his tear-stained face as you were forcing soup down his throat rose to the surface, but you quickly pushed it back down.
  4341. > Mr. Thomson was standing up. "Well, this has been very imformative," he said, almost formally. He extended a hand to shake with Anon, while his wife hesitantly took your offered hoof.
  4342. > "Absolutely. I have to say I had my doubts, after that russian fellow. I'm sorry we didn't take the Auction's advice and came to you directly!"
  4343. > You made your polite goodbyes, then you were alone with your owner. You sighed and relaxed.
  4344. > His hand landed in your mane, rubbing your neck and upper back. The touch loosened up knots you hadn't even noticed you had.
  4345. "Mmmm, thanks."
  4346. > You leaned back hard against his touch. His impromptu massage drove all the air from your lungs in a luxurious sigh. You shut your eyes to enjoy it fully.
  4347. > "Good job there, Lavender. You were great! Showed them exactly how nice a pony can behave."
  4348. > You allowed yourself a small smile and a nod, but you kept your eyes closed.
  4349. "Thanks. Do you think we can do it?"
  4350. > There was a note of worry in your voice. Opal wasn't learning fast enough. It had been a week, but he still fought and argued. The best you could say was that he had started to eat on his own, but even that was more out of fear than anything else.
  4351. > "Well, you're doing a good job. I said I wouldn't interfere, but if you think you need my help, just say it, okay?"
  4352. > It was hard to do. The thought of giving the whip back to Anon, after his past and with everything you knew about the man made you distinctly uneasy.
  4353. > But his advice had been invaluable. And he had stepped in more than once when you had started beating Opal out of revenge, rather than punishment.
  4354. > Maybe you could trust the human enough?
  4355. "I- I think I do."
  4356. > Once the admission was out, you somehow felt a lot better. It was no longer just your problem.
  4357. "Okay, I have a few ideas. Come, I'll run them past you in the car and we can decide together."
  4358. > Sad that the massage was over, but happy that you would get some help with Opal, you jumped off from the seat. You saw that a few other patrons eyed you disapprovingly, but you just pushed down the tiny flare of anger and followed your owner out and to his car.
  4359. > He made you wear the uncomfortable seatbelt for the highway, but you were slowly getting used to that, too.
  4360. > "So, here's what we do," he began once you were out of the city.
  4361. > "There's a technique called 'good cop, bad cop' that people sometimes use with crooks in law enforcement. Well, they do in movies, at least."
  4362. > You perked your ears up and watched Anon in silence, waiting for him to continue.
  4363. > "What it boils down to, is this: one of us has to treat him a bit more roughly, while the other one becomes his friend."
  4364. > The mention of rough treatment made you worry a little.
  4365. "What do you mean, rough?"
  4366. > "Nothing too bad. Something like you've already been doing. Remember the first day he came? You beat him up a little and then he practically fell in my lap and spilled his entire life story. We can do something like that again."
  4367. > You hadn't heard that story yet - until now you had assumed that Anon had just deduced your past with the stallion from what you had told him.
  4368. "Okay?"
  4369. > "That's it, really. He learns to fear you, but I'm there to comfort him and provide a voice of reason - maybe I even stop you in your punishment a few more times. That makes him trust me, see me as a close friend. So he's amenable to whatever I suggest."
  4370. > You began to understand.
  4371. "Oh! I see! And he starts to think like: 'maybe humans aren't all bad. Maybe the Thomsons were better than mean ol' Lavender. Gosh, I'd much rather be with them, even if I have to do some laundry every now and then'!"
  4372. > Anon nodded, but your clumsy imitation of the noblepony's voice made him chuckle.
  4373. > "Yeah, something like that. And on top of that, we really have to play up his attachment to the little girl. I'll ask Mr. Thomson for some pictures, maybe of them together and having fun. Really hit those good memories."
  4374. "Genious!"
  4375. > You leaned back and watched the landscape slide by. Suddenly you were certain you could reform Opal Gleam into a nice, obedient gentlecolt - much like the one you had met all those years ago in the Crystal Empire. Only this time the sneak wouldn't just be acting!
  4376. > "He took his pills voluntarily?" Anon asked suddenly.
  4377. > You shrugged. "I guess? I had to hit him, but he swallowed. And before you ask, I checked!"
  4378. > "Good. I don't want a repeat of that night you-" the human started to say but shut up.
  4379. > The memory was embarassing now.
  4380. "Yeah. Sorry."
  4381. > The man just laughed and waved it off. "Don't worry about it. It was my fault, too. I could have trained you this way and we never would have had a problem!"
  4382. > It was true. With a bit more understanding at the start, you could have learned to trust Anon a lot sooner. Maybe before you tried to...
  4383. > Your hoof went to where the collar was hiding your scar. It was barely visible under the fur, but it woke you up sometimes in the night and you imagined you could feel it burning, like when...
  4384. > With a groan, you pushed the memory away. Anon glanced at you with concern, but you just waved your leg.
  4385. "Just a bad memory. I'm fine."
  4386. > He nodded and fell silent, letting you go back to watching the scenery.
  4387. > A long time later, he spoke up.
  4388. > "Pearl's party is tomorrow. Looking forward?"
  4389. > The change of topic was most welcome and you felt yourself grin.
  4390. "Yes! Can't wait to see her face when she finds out she gets to fly again. I know how much that means to a pegasus."
  4391.  
  4392. > ~~~~
  4393.  
  4394. > The joy on Pearl's face was indescribable. Linda was holding out the box with her new collar and all the pegasus could do was open and shut her mouth in shock.
  4395. > It made me laugh heartily as her hoof went to her chest and she mouthed: "F-for me?!"
  4396. > Both Tabitha and Clara immediately fell in a group hug with the pony. Linda took the chance for a group photo. She shoved the box in my hands and fished out her smartphone.
  4397. > "One for the mantelpiece!" she said.
  4398. > "Can we go try it out? Please mom!" the older daughter begged, quickly joined by her younger sister. The woman looked my way and raised her eyebrows in a question.
  4399. > I realized I was holding the instrument of the pegasus' freedom.
  4400. "Oh, sure. Let me help you with that."
  4401. > The box came open and I took the collar out. It was lighter than I expected and the material was soft and stretchy. It looked very comfortable. I presented the strip of cloth to the pony.
  4402. "May I?"
  4403. > Pearl just bobbed her head up and down, eyes already brimming with tears. She suddenly thought up a problem and froze.
  4404. > "B-but it's not allowed," she whimpered. I remembered just how heartbroken the pegasus had been when me and Mel had to tell her the bad news.
  4405. "Don't worry. It's okay as long as you have this collar and stay near."
  4406. > She stuck out her neck and I clasped the loop around it. Then I fished out the instructions and the remote.
  4407. > It wasn't very complicated, but I opted not to read it.
  4408. "Tell you what," I told the mare. "If you promise not to fly away, I won't even turn it on. The law says you have to wear it, but maybe we just forget the batteries or something, deal?"
  4409. > The tears she had somehow been holding back finally spilled. The pegasus quickly brought out her wings and wrapped up her two adoptive sisters.
  4410. > "Leave these two?" she asked with a small smile. "Never!"
  4411. > The daughters burrowed their faces in her fur. I saw that Linda was also a little wet around the eyes.
  4412. > Suddenly, Lavender nuzzled my arm as she leaned closer. "Thank you," she whispered hoarsely.
  4413. "Alright, let's go!"
  4414. > In a flash, everyone was outside. Pearl and Lavender were the only two ponies, despite it being the pegasus' birthday. But there were some other children - friends of Tabby and Clara, I assumed - with their parents. I didn't know any of them and Linda introduced me with a vague "works with ponies" description of my profession.
  4415. > There were murmurs about how well Lavender was behaving and no doubt my sister-in-law had mentioned she had gotten Pearl from me.
  4416. > From the calculating looks some of the men gave me, I had a feeling some business could be coming my way, soon.
  4417. > A space was quckly cleared in the backyard as Pearl spread her wings and turned around a few times, testing the wind. Linda had to physically pull their daughters back, to keep them out of the way.
  4418. > Even I found myself looking with interest. Aside from a few gliding hops, I hadn't really seen Pearl fly yet.
  4419. > A part of me guiltily remembered the pliers, and not for the first time I thanked any gods who were listening that no permanant damage had been done.
  4420. > She had kept her wings in shape even after that, it seemed, and I hoped the mare could still fly.
  4421. > Pearl gave the weathers a quick examination, then flapped a few times experimentally.
  4422. > The wind from that was stronger than I had expected.
  4423. > "Here goes," she said, mostly to herself and jumped.
  4424. > The wings came down with impressive speed, all feathers audibly snapping into place. For a moment, the pony seemed to hang in the air, but then she flapped again, billowing more air in my face.
  4425. > From the corner of my eye I saw a few colorful pieces of paper flying away, but my attention was on the pony. She was rising vertically upward.
  4426. > Her flapping seemed a little erratic and a few times she dipped to a side, but she quickly re-learned her control.
  4427. > I guessed it was just like riding a bicycle. You never really forgot.
  4428. > Before long, the pony was higher than the roof and seemed to push away from the air. That sent her on a glide over the house.
  4429. > The crowd rushed around to keep their eyes on the mare, but I couldn't follow. Both Lavender and Linda jumped me, laughing.
  4430. > I heard the daugthers excitedly yelling something, but I couldn't focus with both the pony and the woman talking at the same time.
  4431. > "Did you see her face!?" Lavender was yelling, almost at the top of her lungs.
  4432. > Linda nearly outmatched her volume. "That was amazing!"
  4433. > I extricated myself and followed the people. I came from behind the house just in time to see Pearl swoop, yelling at the top of her lungs. All the children chased after her, but the pony was too fast. She turned and came back before they went more than a couple of steps, flying even lower.
  4434. > There was a bump at the back of my legs and I felt the unicorn wrap her hooves around my thighs as we watched.
  4435. > The pegasus whooped some more and even managed to do a loop, before flaping slowly down toward the front yard.
  4436. > A space quickly cleared up, Linda once again having to physically drag her daughters away.
  4437. > Pearl dropped to the ground, landing with audible clicks of her hooves. Her chest was heaving and both her wings and her legs were trembling, but she was smiling. In a moment, the girls were draped around her neck.
  4438. > The other children milled around, poking and talking over each other.
  4439. > I saw the tells - the pegasus was exhausted even after a short flight. It would take her time and practice to build up those muscles again. But the mere fact that she could fly meant she would undoubtedly get into her old shape.
  4440. > She had to sit down, but the pony still returned the hug and tried to answer as many questions from the other kids as she could.
  4441. > She really was good with children, I had to admit that.
  4442. > Lavender poked me in the knee. "Come on. Let's get her a cup of punch or something."
  4443. > I followed the unicorn into the kitchen. There was a big bowl of fruit punch, but without any alcohol. I filled up a big plastic cup and Lavender took it in her magic.
  4444. > The remote for Pearl's collar was still in my hand. I put it back in the package and dropped it off by the fridge. I didn't think Linda would ever put those batteries in, but she should probably keep the remote with her when they went out. Someone could cause her trouble if she didn't have it.
  4445. > Before we went out, Lavender turned to face me. Her face was positively glowing in a smile.
  4446. > "That's what we're trying to do, right?" she asked.
  4447. "Yeah. That's the idea. Get ponies and their owners happy and caring for each other. When the time comes, you can bet Pearl will be allowed to go home."
  4448. > The mare nodded, her thoughts returning to her parents, no doubt. She heaved a sad sigh and I quickly knelt down and cupped her muzzle with my palm.
  4449. "Hey. My promise still holds. When we can, I'll go and talk to your parents with you, okay?"
  4450. > She gave a brave smile and immediately cheered up. Her ears had been starting to droop, but now they perked up again.
  4451. > "Yeah! Thanks! I just wish we could have brought Opal to see this."
  4452. "Don't worry. We'll show him pictures. And I think I saw someone with a video camera. I'll ask Linda to get the tape."
  4453. > The mare nodded enthusiastically and swished her tail. Her voice was full of determination. "Yeah! Good idea. He's bound to come around!"
  4454. > Then she walked out, cup of punch in tow. I followed, but children weren't my favourite so I went to find Linda instead.
  4455. > Might as well mention my new line of work and see if she would give me any useful connections among the other visitors, I thought.
  4456.  
  4457. > ~~~~
  4458.  
  4459. > You had never considered your excellent hearing a bad thing before. But however loud the TV was, you could still hear Opal Gleam sobbing miserably in the next room. You've asked Anon to shut him in the broom closet, but the human had declined.
  4460. > "You're too hard on him, Lavender," he had said. "You can't keep beating him bloody every day. Lay off a little."
  4461. "He had it coming!"
  4462. > The defensive tone was becoming your normal one.
  4463. "Plus, we don't have that much time left, remember?"
  4464. > Anon sighed and his hand in your mane stopped massaging, to your eternal dismay.
  4465. > "I'd rather tell the Thomsons we're gonna be late than send Opal back bruised and scarred."
  4466. > Even the half-deaf human heard the wail from the other room: "CELESTIA, WHY?!"
  4467. > "Jeez, Lavender, what the fuck did you do to the guy?"
  4468. > You couldn't look at him and refused to answer. But you had finally beaten the admission out of Opal Gleam - the stallion *had* cheated on you back in Manehattan.
  4469. > While you had been slaving away in your shop so you could put some food on the table, the dandy had been going around, visiting his whore marefriends.
  4470. > With some alarm, you felt Anon stand up and make his way to the trainee-pony room. That's what you were calling it because you didn't want to say 'prison cell', or 'torture chamber'. You had to give up your bedroom after the noblepony was driven to a blubbering mess by the small, windowless broom closet.
  4471. > It also meant you had to sleep on the couch and listen to the little crybaby every night.
  4472. > Anon had promised to fix up the spare room upstairs, but he hadn't gotten around to it, despite your incessant reminders.
  4473. > The human took one look at Opal and shot you a disapproving glare. Then his face split into a smile and he walked inside.
  4474. > "Oh, poor thing," he said, all sweetness and pity. The way it worked almost immediately, and stopped the stallion's weeping, made you sneer in derision.
  4475. > There was a scramble of hooves on the tiles and a soft thump, presumably of 'Smokey' falling into Anon's lap.
  4476. > The plan had worked perfectly. Your ex-husband was deathly afraid of you and your whip, but he absolutely adored Anon. Even now you heard him whispering to the human how awfully you were treating him.
  4477. > You tried not to listen, because Anon's pitying agreement hurt. You knew it was an act, but it was still unpleasant; the kind of things they said about you.
  4478. > This time, it was too much. You jumped from the couch and followed Anon into the room. At the sight, Opal gasped and buried his head in the human's chest. He was shivering wildly and tried to turn his battered flank away from you.
  4479. "What the buck did you say about me?"
  4480. > You were staring directly at the pony, but he wasn't looking.
  4481. "Opal! Answer me!"
  4482. > He managed to pull his face out of his makeshift cover and stared at you with wide, tearful eyes. His ears were folded as far back as possible and you saw his knees shaking so much that they were almost knocking together.
  4483. > "N-n-n- nothing," he mumbled quietly.
  4484. > Your glare almost made him take a step back, but the human held him in his hug. You purposefully avoided looking at Anon's face.
  4485. "Repeat what you just said, or I'll give you a thrashing you'll really remember!"
  4486. > Opal swallowed and looked imploringly at his human buddy. "P-p-pl- please," he stuttered.
  4487. > "That's enough, Lavender," Anon said with finality.
  4488. > But you weren't done. You advanced on the coward stallion.
  4489. "Whore, am I? Monster? What was that last thing? Bitch?"
  4490. > Opal couldn't keep back a tiny 'eep' of fear. Your horn glowed as you reached for the whip. The wooden frame with the implements had been reinstalled on the wall - an idea you had taken from the way Anon had tried to train you.
  4491. > There really was nothing like that constant reminder to keep a pony in line.
  4492. > As the riding crop floated over, Opal whimpered and there came a liquid sound as his bladded emptied. Anon barely leapt back in time to avoid the splash. There was an acrid odor in the still air. The silence was punctuated only by Opal's renewed sobbing as he was left without his sole comfort.
  4493. > You hadn't intended to beat him. All you wanted was to scare the stallion a little. But now you were going to smack the living daylight out of the little cretin.
  4494. > Before the whip could swing Anon plucked it from the air.
  4495. > "Enough!" he said in a firm voice. "Lavender! Get out of here! You're done. You're obviously out of control!"
  4496. "Humph!"
  4497. > There were no words strong enough to express your disgust with how soft the human was treating Opal. But his tone had iron in it and you involuntarily remembered your own beatings.
  4498. "Fine!"
  4499. > You advanced on Opal and he shakily sat down, right into his own puddle of piss.
  4500. "We're done! I don't ever want to see you again, understand?"
  4501. > There was a sliver of relief on his face and Opal Gleam nodded quickly. His expression was still one of terror, but now there was a ray of hope in his eyes.
  4502. "Oh, and if you don't obey the Thomsons *perfectly*, they're going to send you back to me. And then not even Anon will be able to save you, understand?!"
  4503. > He gave a small whimper and there was another dribble as the stallion made the puddle bigger.
  4504. > "I'll- I'll b-be g-g-good!" he promised and you could tell he really meant it.
  4505. > Maybe Anon had been right. Maybe the stallion was almost ready. You walked out of the room, pausing to look up at the human.
  4506. "All yours."
  4507. > You chose to interpret his look as determination, rather than annoyance. You made your way out, jumped back up on the couch and turned the volume on the TV up higher.
  4508.  
  4509. >...
  4510.  
  4511. > "Lavender, you can't not see it!" the human was blathering on.
  4512. > Annoyed that he was ruining your moment of celebration, you put the glass down and sighed. You were in your newly-furnished room, right next to Anon's bedroom. There was a chilled bottle of champagne and you had invited the human up for a toast, to celebrate your finished rennovation.
  4513. > The Thomsons had been so pleased with the way 'Smokey' behaved that only a week later they gave Anon a little bonus. And because you were the one who had done most of the training, he had magnanimously decided to invest the money in a proper room for you.
  4514. > But now he was already ruining it.
  4515. "I don't! I'm *nothing* like you! So what if I was a bit rough on Opal?! He deserved every bit of it!"
  4516. > But he simply wouldn't shut up. "You were taking revenge! That wasn't training, it was just... senseless. You got emotional!"
  4517. "And you never did?!"
  4518. > That shut him up. For a few seconds at least. You gulped down the champagne while you had the chance. Maybe it would make it easier to talk with Anon.
  4519. > "Point," he admitted and your jaw dropped. The human actually sounded contrite. His eyes were on the floor and his hands rested in his lap as he sat crosslegged on your carpet.
  4520. > "But that's not what we do anymore, okay? I don't want you to become *me*, Lavender."
  4521. > That was a low blow and it stung. And, you feared, it was all too true. The mare who had repeatedly beaten Opal Gleam for nothing more than talking back to her was a stranger. It had been you, but that wasn't the kind of pony you wanted to be.
  4522. > However desperately you had tried to deny it, on some level you knew the truth.
  4523. > You *had* been taking your revenge on the stallion. You *had* let your anger take over. But the circumstances were unique. You said as much:
  4524. "Well, okay. But it's not like our cases are gonna be ponies who wronged me. I was hard on Opal only because I knew him from before!"
  4525. > "Yeah. But it's a slippery slope. Trust be, I've been there, Lavender. It was *you* who told me I was wrong, remember?"
  4526. > You did remember. But surely you were nothing like the monster Anon had been?
  4527. > The realization hit that you were married to Opal. At one point in your life you had loved him, or at least thought you had. You had said yes.
  4528. > Celestia, you liked him enough to abandon your parents!
  4529. > The memories of those first, passionate nights made you fold down to the rug and start crying. The mare in your thoughts was so different from what you had become...
  4530. > Could you even honestly say that you were the same pony? Maybe the real Lavender had died on that broken bottle and the thing Anon had brought back was something... bad?
  4531. "Am I evil?"
  4532. > You had to know and Anon was the closest you had to an authority figure.
  4533. > His hands found your muzzle and slid underneath. A moment later, your head was lifted and the human scooched over to lower it into his lap. That left his fingers free to scratch your ears.
  4534. > "Not even a little bit, Lavender. Angry, yes. Emotional, yes. Maybe even unstable. But you don't have an evil bone in your body."
  4535. > You wondered how much of that was true and how much were lies he said to make you feel better.
  4536. "Liar."
  4537. > The accusation made him chuckle. His hands shifted from your ears to your mane and dug deep, finding knots on your neck you hadn't even felt were there.
  4538. > His impromptu massage made you forget for a moment.
  4539. > "Yeah. But only because what you're asking doesn't have an answer. We're not 'good' or 'evil', Lavender. We just are. We try to do our best, but sometimes we fuck up."
  4540. "I fucked up."
  4541. > Even with your eyes closed, you somehow felt the human nod. "I did, too. You were too close to this. I shouldn't have put you in charge of your ex."
  4542. > It sounded like he was taking some responsibility. Your eyes snapped open and you looked up, trying to gauge his expression. He was thoughtful, but there wasn't much guilt.
  4543. > "I should have stopped it, but I really wanted to get the job done. I'm sorry."
  4544. "'s okay."
  4545. > You took the way out the human had offered. You weren't a monster - it was just a bad situation because of your shared past with Opal. Nopony could expect you to act reasonably! Especially not after what you've been through!
  4546. > "It won't happen again," Anon kept talking. "I think we're good at what we do. But maybe you shouldn't be 'bad cop', especially if you know the trainee from before."
  4547. > It was a thought you had tried very hard not to think. On some level you knew that there would be others after Opal. However well you and Anon got paid for him, you would still have to take on other jobs.
  4548. "I'm not going to beat ponies into submission."
  4549. > You had to make that part clear. Especially after Opal Gleam.
  4550. > The hand paused for a second before Anon nodded again. "Me neither. We're done with that, okay? We'll just take the cases where we can help without that. And you'll help me pick."
  4551. > That could work. It really could. You were stuck in this world. You knew how horrible it could be to ponies; moreso if they fought against it.
  4552. > You couldn't free them, but you could help them get past it.
  4553. > The window caught your eye. It overlooked the small garden, where a large variety of herbs and flowers bloomed. The mere thought was enough to lift your heart.
  4554. > Once you had stopped fighting Anon and compromised, you had found happiness.
  4555. > Maybe it was fleeting, maybe you only felt it while you were tending to the garden. There was still misery surrounding those moments of tranquility.
  4556. > But it was a ray of sun in this dismal world. And your imprisonment wasn't forever. When Anon said he would take you home when it became possible, you believed him.
  4557. > Perhaps you could share your realizations with others. Maybe that was the best ponies on Earth could hope for - moments of joy, comfortable lives and the promise to, one day, go home?
  4558. > The human was still looking at you with a tiny, unreadable smile. His hands still massaged your withers.
  4559. > You made a decision.
  4560. "I'll do it. With one condition."
  4561. > "Go on."
  4562. "What happened with Opal must *never* happen again, okay? You keep your eye on me and I'll keep my eye on you. If we're gonna do this, we have to do it the right way!"
  4563. > He didn't even have to think about it. "Deal," he said, quickly.
  4564. "Oh, and one more thing."
  4565. > "Yes?"
  4566. "I'm getting totally smashed today and you better be okay with it, got it?"
  4567. > The human laughed and reached for the bottle of champagne. "Go right ahead. I don't care if you puke all over this room, as long as you clean it up after."
  4568. > The mere thought was enough to make you groan. You remembered that there would be no more Opal to cook and clean. That meant the task would fall to you and Anon.
  4569. "We need a pony to train. Soon!"
  4570. > He just laughed harder. You snatched the bottle from his hand and put it to your lips. Perhaps the rushing liquid would drown out his obnoxious voice.
  4571. > Suppressing the sliver of regret, you pushed yourself away from his hands and tilted up.
  4572. > "Hey, leave some of that for me!"
  4573. > You backed away and shook your head, not even pausing until the bottle was empty.
  4574. "Another!"
  4575. > The human stared with a mixture of admiration and worry. "You sure?"
  4576. "GO!"
  4577. > Your voice worked just as well as it had on Opal and Anon scurried out.
  4578. > The bottle clinked as you lowered it to the floor. You made your way to the window. It was too high for a pony, but you had put your bed right under it.
  4579. > A small jump and you were able to look out, where the afternoon sun lit up all the vivid colors in your garden.
  4580. > Perhaps, with a few more pots around the place, you could make this into a home?
  4581. > At least for a while?
  4582. > The question vanished as you heard your door open again. The human was back and from the smell of it he had something with strawberries.
  4583. > Strawberries and alcohol.
  4584. > You smiled in anticipation. It would do.
  4585.  
  4586. Epilogue:
  4587. > You brought the flowers in from your lush garden. Tulips, a beautiful shade of pink with their enchanting fragrance. You knew Rose Blush would appreciate them.
  4588. > Her situation was particularly sad and you had insisted that Anon should accept her into training. The poor earth pony had been sold when her owner could no longer afford to feed her. Then she went through a similar round of beatings and depression that reminded you very much of your own.
  4589. > The feeling of betrayal, which you could imagine so vividly, had made her resentful and rude. Now, those traits were preventing Rose from finding a good home.
  4590. > She was liable to end up like Pearl Shine - in a brothel. Or worse, in one of the work camps.
  4591. > The possibility made you sad and you didn't want to think about it anymore, so you focused on the plants. A careful application of your magic trimmed the stalks and rearranged the leaves into a more pleasing pattern.
  4592. > Another spell, a trick of your mother's, enhanced the fragrance and ensured they would not wilt as quickly.
  4593. > There was a nice, blue porcelain vase already filled with water on the kitchen counter. You stuck the flowers in and lifted the whole thing with your magic.
  4594. > It would do perfectly. You took it to the living room and sat down on the couch to wait.
  4595. > The human was in the pony chamber and you could hear him talking quietly. Under that, just on the edge of your hearing there were muffled, fearful sobs from Rose Blush.
  4596. > You couldn't understand what Anon was saying, but the tone seemed pleasant and comforting. You'd both agreed that what this particular pony needed most, was some love.
  4597. > A long while later, the human came out of the room and sadly shook his head.
  4598. > "No luck," he explained. "They must have beaten her too many times at the Auction, trying to make her behave."
  4599. > You gave him a confident nod.
  4600. "I'll help."
  4601. > But before you went in, you had to be sure. It was the same question you had asked for every trainee.
  4602. "She'll go to a good home? You made sure?"
  4603. > The human nodded. "Better than that. I bought her outright, so we get to decide where she goes."
  4604. > It was something you and Anon had talked about, but you knew there wasn't enough money for that. Not yet.
  4605. "How in the buck...?!"
  4606. > "They let her go cheap. Apparently they didn't think she was strong enough for a work camp and earth ponies aren't 'exotic' enough for whoring."
  4607. > It almost made you growl, so you had to forcefully remind yourself about the silver lining.
  4608. > A few deep breaths were enough to bring the smile back to your face. You lifted the vase again and entered the room.
  4609. > You had hit the shade almost perfectly. Rose Blush was a gentle pink, just like her namesake flower. You didn't have any roses in the garden - a lack you now vowed to correct - so the tulips were the closest you could get.
  4610. > Her mane, what could be seen of it, was light cyan. Not the exact same shade as the vase, but the mare was sure to notice that you had put some thought into it.
  4611. "Hello, Rose."
  4612. > You kept your voice quiet and gentle as you paused in the entrance. The poor creature was huddled against a corner.
  4613. > There was an alarming amount of filth in her coat and you could see her hooves were unkempt and covered in mud.
  4614. > At least you hoped it was mud. Sometimes the disobedient ponies were left in their cages and provided no means to relieve themselves.
  4615. > You had experienced it first-hoof.
  4616. > When she saw that you were a pony, Rose Blush relaxed somewhat. But she still eyed you warily.
  4617. > "W-who are you?" she demanded.
  4618. "My name is Lavender Falls and I'm your friend."
  4619. > "And the h-human?"
  4620. "Anon. He's also a friend."
  4621. > There was already suspicion in those brown eyes. "Your owner, you mean! Did he put you up to this? What does he want with me?"
  4622. > You slowly made your way forward and gently placed the vase on the small table. It stood in the perfect position to catch the morning sun, making the flowers come alive in their colors.
  4623. > As the earth mare watched, you saw her face light up with wonder and delight.
  4624. > "T-those are beautiful," she said, her trouble momentarily forgotten.
  4625. "Thank you. I picked them just for you. When they wilt, you can come with me to my garden and pick out fresh ones, if you'd like."
  4626. > The mundane, casual tone worked as well as always. You saw the pony relax a little and it only served to widen your smile.
  4627. > "I'd... I'd like that," she said slowly. Then her mind snapped back to her situation. "What do you want with me?"
  4628. "We want to help, Rose."
  4629. > "You can't! Brandon gave me up and everyone else just wants to rut me or make me work!"
  4630. > The memory made her cry again and you quickly gathered the miserable pony in your hooves. The dirt in her mane and fur was rubbing off on yours, but you didn't care.
  4631. > Filth could be washed off.
  4632. "I know, dear, I know. I'm very sorry. But Anon isn't like that. He wants you to be happy here."
  4633. > "H-here?" she asked, carefully. "I'm to stay here?"
  4634. "For as long as you need. Eventually, we'll find you a good home - a nice family to love you and take care of you. But you get a say in that, okay?"
  4635. > It was obvious that Rose was looking for the trick.
  4636. > "I don't g-get it. What's in it for you?"
  4637. "Personally? I like helping ponies. But I'll be honest with you. We're getting paid, Anon and me."
  4638. > She mare drew away with a small gasp of fear. "I knew it!" she said darkly. "You're scum! Profiting from other ponies' misery!"
  4639. "I used to think that, too. But something happened to change my mind."
  4640. > She was wary of walking into a trap. "What happened?" she asked, still full of suspicion.
  4641. "I was meant to go to a different owner and Anon was training me to behave. I didn't like it one bit. Who knows what the creep wanted from me?"
  4642. > You knew what your original owner had expected, but you didn't tell Rose that. Instead, you let her imagine the worst.
  4643. "Anyway, it was depressing. I was just like you, except worse."
  4644. > You parted the hair on your neck to show her the scar.
  4645. "I did this myself. I just wanted to escape."
  4646. > The sigh and the downcast eyes worked perfectly. And your miserable tone hit Rose right in the heart, you could see. The earth pony was already tearing up.
  4647. "Anyway, when Anon saw what it was doing to me, he paid the guy off and kept me around. You can bet I was suspicious!"
  4648. > You saw Rose nodding her head, both in sympathy and agreement. You let a small smile touch your lips; it served to reinforce your words.
  4649. "But I was wrong. He really does want me to be happy. I could have gone to any number of good homes - people like your Brandon. Families with adoring children. But I chose to stay with Anon, so I could help ponies like he does."
  4650. > It was working. You could see the mare was warming up to you and, through you, to Anon. It would take more work, of course. You'd have to show her your comfortable life around Anon - the way you joked and teased. The way you talked over dinner. Even how you leaned on each other on the couch while watching a movie.
  4651. > Rose would become a part of all that, for a time. Eventually, you and Anon will start her thinking about an adoptive family of her own.
  4652. > It had worked before. And, to be honest with yourself, you much preferred these kinds of cases over the ones that needed beatings.
  4653. > Thankfully, something like Opal Gleam hadn't repeated itself, but you were constantly on the lookout for your anger. You couldn't let it take over again.
  4654. "Anyway, you look like you've been through Tartarus. I'm sorry you met the wrong humans, but it'll be better now. You'll see."
  4655. > Rose nodded sadly. "Yeah, I'm sorry too."
  4656. "If you like, you can take a bath. And then I'll fix you up some lunch. Anon and I were just about to cook something."
  4657. > You saw Rose lick her lips. Her eyes grew wide, both at the mention of a bath and the promise of food.
  4658. > "B-bath?" she repeated, incredulously. "They used to just... hose me down every once in awhile. And they've stopped doing that, even."
  4659. "Well, a hot bath is an inalienable right of every pony living under this roof. It's one of my conditions for helping Anon."
  4660. > That earned you a small chuckle. "Smart," Rose Blush said.
  4661. "I've got *the* nicest-smelling shampoo you've ever seen. Come, I'll show you!"
  4662. > The pony followed you eagerly. She paused at the threshold to the living room, eyeing the human warily, but you smiled encouragingly at her.
  4663. "Come on, don't worry. He doesn't bite."
  4664. > Step by step, Rose made her way out. She kept you between herself and Anon at all times and her wide, fearful eyes were fixed on the human. Her ears were laid back in fear and her steps were slow and cautious.
  4665. > You just kept your smile until the earth pony was in the kitchen. She turned around to wait for you.
  4666. "We're taking a bath. Can you chop the vegetables for lunch? It's stew."
  4667. > You said it to Anon quite matter-of-factly. He just nodded back and returned his focus to the TV.
  4668. > "Okay. Have fun!"
  4669. > The stunned expression on Rose's face was priceless. "Y-you talk to him like that? J-just tell him wh- what to do?"
  4670. "I told you - we're friends."
  4671. > Rose shook her head, but didn't say anything further. You made a guess.
  4672. "Brandon wasn't like that?"
  4673. > The pony shrugged. "Not really. I mean- he liked me and treated me fairly. But he was still the Master. He never let me forget my place."
  4674. "And you liked him because he was better than the alternative?"
  4675. > "I guess. I've never heard about humans and ponies *actually* being friends. Mostly I heard the... the bad stuff." The mare paused for a moment, then lowered her voice conspiratorially. "Brandon was better than my first Master, anyway."
  4676. "I'll introduce you to another friend - Pearl Shine. She'll fly by for a visit on Monday."
  4677. > "Fly?!" Rose squeaked and stopped again. "They let her FLY?!"
  4678. "Welcome to a different world, Rose Blush. I think you'll like it."
  4679. > ...
  4680. > You found Anon sitting outside, on a folding lawnchair. He was watching your garden as he waited.
  4681. > "So, any luck?" he asked. The human seemed calm, but you saw the cues. The way his fingers fiddled with a piece of twine where the chair fabric was tearing. How his eyes shifted to the small window of the pony chamber. The tapping of his foot.
  4682. > It wasn't like Anon to be that worried about a trainee. Something else was wrong.
  4683. "All good. She's starting to think."
  4684. > "Great," came his reply. There was nothing further, but he was still visibly nervous. When you had been staring at his face for a while and the human still failed to meet your eyes, you spoke up.
  4685. "What's up with you?"
  4686. > "Nothing! I'm fine. Everything is fine," he said, too quickly to be entirely true. The small smile he flashed at you told you that it wasn't anything bad. The human was simply hiding something.
  4687. > The last time he had acted like that was when he found out when your birthday was. He had somehow gotten his hands on rare acacia seeds and was waiting to give them to you. You wondered what kind of surprise he had for you this time.
  4688. "You're not going to tell me, are you?"
  4689. > He shrugged and gave you a rueful grin. "When it's ready."
  4690. > You dropped the subject. It wasn't important and Rose Blush would take all your concentration. You had to step up your act with Anon around her.
  4691. > The goodnatured jabs and fake name-calling you did to each other normally might give the earth pony the wrong impression.
  4692. > "You locked her up?" Anon asked, guessing who you were thinking about.
  4693. "Yeah. I'm not ready to trust her just yet."
  4694. > "Smart. When's lunch?"
  4695. > You glared at the insolent human. Just because you had to set a good example for your pony guest didn't mean he could rub your face in the fact that you'd be doing most of the housework and cooking for a while.
  4696. > But his face was a mask of innocence. You never could quite prove that he took a secret, perverse pleasure in your predicament.
  4697. "When I feel like it."
  4698. > He just shrugged with the same unreadable grin. "Cool. Let me know."
  4699. > Anon took his laptop from somewhere and started reading.
  4700. > You just rolled your eyes and went back into the house. There was nothing to do in the garden until after lunch, so you decided to get it over with.
  4701. > Besides, Rose Blush was starved. You had seen each and every rib clearly standing out through her wet fur in the shower.
  4702. >...
  4703. > The earth pony's frame was filling out nicely. She was already far stronger than you could ever be, and her natural affinity with all growing things was proving quite valuable.
  4704. > Not to mention that you had bonded over it. Rose Blush enjoyed working with your plants, even the rare, delicate things which earth ponies normally don't cultivate.
  4705. > You had talked and talked with the mare as you watered and weeded and tended the herbs together. You thought of Rose as a friend and you believed she felt the same way.
  4706. > The mare was coming along nicely. For the past few nights she had lain on the couch with you and Anon to watch movies. After a while, you had felt the human start to scratch her ears and Rose hadn't moved away. She even seemed to enjoy it.
  4707. > Not much longer, you thought, before you and Anon would be able to start looking for a good home for Rose. One that paid well, of course, but the latter did not preclude the former.
  4708. > All that flashed through your mind while you loaded up the small cart with refuse. Anon had bought it at your request. It had a simple harness which you could slip on and off by yourself. It had helped you expand your garden significantly.
  4709. > Ever since the earth pony had started working with you, she had taken the role of pulling the cart around, while you loaded it with your magic.
  4710. "All set."
  4711. > You joined Rose Blush in the front and walked with her to the compost heap on the other side of the large backyard. You still marveled at the ease with which the mare pulled the heavy thing.
  4712. > She trotted effortlessly, hardly even noticing her burden. "Lavender, may I ask you something?"
  4713. "Of course. And you don't have to ask that."
  4714. > True to her name, Rose blushed a little and gave a nervous smile.
  4715. > "Have- have you thought about what to do with me? You and Mas- Anon?"
  4716. > She still slipped up some times, unused to calling humans by the name.
  4717. "It's your decision too. What did you do before - back home?"
  4718. > He cutie mark was a rose petal, so you had assumed something with flowers. Maybe arranging or tending to them.
  4719. > "Florist," she said, confirming your thoughts.
  4720. "So, how about this. The cashier at the garden center, where I get all my stuff. She likes me and she's getting on in years. Maybe she could use a hoof to help around the store?"
  4721. > Rose gave an incredulous gasp and stopped. "Y-you mean it? I could do that? B-but can she afford it- me?"
  4722. "Well, her shop is doing pretty well. And I'll talk Anon into giving her a good price."
  4723. > It was a long shot, but it would fit perfectly.
  4724. "In fact - would you like to come and meet her? I need some supplies anyway. I'll get Anon to drive us. Put on some of that Rose charm and she might say yes."
  4725. > The pony almost jumped into the air for joy. She barely stopped herself in time to avoid spilling the cart. She lowered her gaze and her ears in shame. "Sorry."
  4726. > You just laughed and nudged her with your muzzle.
  4727. "I'll go ask him. Just leave the cart there and come in for a shower. We need you looking your best."
  4728. > "Sure! I'll be right over!"
  4729. > You made your way to the house to give Anon the good news. Even if the garden shop didn't pan out, Rose was thinking about getting adopted, which was significant progress. You would miss her, but you couldn't take another case until she was gone and the money wouldn't last forever.
  4730. > The human was poking around on his laptop. He was reading intently and drumming his fingers on the couch armrest.
  4731. > Something was in the air, like electricity. Your heart almost stopped when you saw his stunned expression.
  4732. > You knew something was wrong.
  4733. "W-what hap-happened?"
  4734. > You barely managed to say it. Anon looked at you with wide, staring eyes and you took an involuntary step back.
  4735. > "Lavender," he began slowly, his voice shaking. "I don't know how to say it."
  4736. > For a moment images of all possible disasters flashed through your mind. Maybe something had happened to Pearl, or Linda. Or maybe something with the bank and you would lose the house and, by extension, your garden.
  4737. > You forced yourself to relax, but you couldn't stop the trembling in your legs.
  4738. "What? Just say it! Please!"
  4739. > "It's about the war," he said and the cold pit in your stomach grew. Had it escalated? Did the ponies lose? Were your parents dead?
  4740. "Please, Celestia..."
  4741. > It came out as a fervent whisper.
  4742. > You almost couldn't understand his facial expression as his mouth split open in a grin.
  4743. > "It's over."
  4744. > Simple words, but the meaning they held beneath them was immense. Too big to process.
  4745. "What is?"
  4746. > He chuckled at your expression. "The war. The other day - when you asked me what I was hiding - there was a news that one of your leaders, Credenza or something-"
  4747. "Princess Cadence."
  4748. > You corrected it because it was one familiar thing in this whirlwind of strange emotion.
  4749. > "Yeah, her. She came through the portals to speak before the congress," Anon said. You waited for him to continue.
  4750. "And?!"
  4751. > "Apparently the talks went well. Right now, there's a truce. But newspapers are saying peace should follow."
  4752. > It seemed like a culmination of your dreams and hopes. A thought rose unbidden to the surface. You would finally see if Anon had been telling the truth.
  4753. "What happens now? To me, I mean."
  4754. > He just shrugged. "It's gonna take time, Lavender. There's a lot of diplomacy to talk through. But my promise still stands, if that's what you're wondering. Once it's possible, we'll talk what to do."
  4755. "And R-rose Blush? If she wants to go home, will you let her?"
  4756. > That one took more thought. "Will you help me earn back the money I paid for her?"
  4757. > You had known that humans were driven by money, so his response hadn't come as a surprise.
  4758. "Yes."
  4759. > "Then she can go," he said, simply. "There'll probably be paperwork and I don't know how long until it's possible. But yes. Ultimately, she can go home."
  4760. > Before you knew what you were doing, you were in the human's lap. Your hooves were around his chest and your lips met his.
  4761. > The body under yours stiffened and his hands went to your barrel. For a moment you thought he would push you away.
  4762. > You weren't sure if you would let him.
  4763. > But the fingers dug into your sides to keep you in place. A small moan escaped him and his tongue came out, questing for yours.
  4764. > Your eyes closed as a shudder ran through your limbs and your nostrils flared as your breathing quickened.
  4765. > Both of you were lost in a long, blissful moment.
  4766. > Finally, you found enough strength to break it off.
  4767. "N-not no-now."
  4768. > You stuttered badly, but you managed to gasp it out. Your whole body burned, needing the touch, wanting more. But you overpowered the desire.
  4769. > You needed time to think. Time to understand what this meant.
  4770. > Before you could succumb again, you pushed yourself away and landed back on the carpet with a soft thud of your hooves.
  4771. > The human was simply staring, speechless. But you saw his hands clenching and unclenching, now that they weren't gripping your fur.
  4772. > And there was already a noticeable tent in his pants. That alone made your knees week and nearly caused you to lose your resolve.
  4773. "Rose... I promised her we'd go to the garden center."
  4774. > But the purpose of your visit would now be different. You doubted the mare would accept servitude, not when the prospect of freedom was so tantalizingly close.
  4775. > Anon had to clear his throat before he could speak. "Sure, I'll take you..."
  4776. "We'll talk later. I promise. I just need to think."
  4777. > He seemed saddened and it nearly broke your heart. He thought you were going to say no.
  4778. > But you didn't know what you were going to say.
  4779. > You fled.
  4780. >...
  4781. > It wasn't easy to push the turmoil aside, but you managed a small grin for Rose Blush. She was just coming in, but you headed her off and led her back to the garden. If she thought it strange, the mare didn't say.
  4782. "So anyway..."
  4783. > You began, but discovered you didn't know how to break the news.
  4784. > A whoop sounded from a distance, saving you. A dark blue blur was flying at you over the house and almost toppled both you and Rose to the ground when it reached you.
  4785. > It was only thanks to the earth pony's strength that she caught Pearl Shine without injury.
  4786. > "Guys! GUYS!" she babbled, excitedly, hopping from hoof to hoof and flapping her wings wildly.
  4787. > "You're NEVER gonna believe this! The war-"
  4788. "-ended."
  4789. > You couldn't stop yourself from finishing the sentence and both ponies stared at you in shock.
  4790. "I just heard. Anon just told me."
  4791. > The light seemed to dawn in Rose Blush's face. Her lip trembled, then she exhaled a breath she had been holding.
  4792. > "I- I... Really? Please, for the love of Celestia, tell me it's real!" the earth mare whispered.
  4793. > Pearl wrapped both of you in her wings and pulled you around in a circle. It was almost like a little dance.
  4794. > "It is! Linda has been on the phone since this morning. She knows a few people. There's gonna be a registration list for ponies who wanna go home, or visit. She's gonna sign us all up as soon as it's open!"
  4795. > There was a quiet thump as Rose's rump hit the ground.
  4796. > "I stopped hoping," she said, fat tears beginning to roll down her cheeks. "It hurt so much to think about home, so I just convinced myself it was never going to happen."
  4797. > When she looked up, the pony was smiling through her tears.
  4798. > "Oh, I can't wait to see my sister again! What about you?"
  4799. > All you could do was shrug.
  4800. "I'm staying."
  4801. > The words shocked even you.
  4802. > "What? Why?!" both your friends cried out in surprise.
  4803. "I mean- sure, I'll visit. I have to patch things up with my parents. But there's not much left for me back home. And... and..."
  4804. > You didn't say it out loud. You wanted to see what would happen between you and Anon.
  4805. > The thing that had sprung up between you was strangely exciting, even while you were deathly afraid of it. You had to see it through.
  4806. > "And what?" Pearl broke the silence.
  4807. > You suddenly knew how to answer her. And how to answer your own questions.
  4808. "I've built a home here. I've paid for it- with tears, sweat and blood."
  4809. > To reinforce your point, you laid a hoof on your neck to remind them of the scar.
  4810. "I gave too much to just leave it."
  4811. > The pegasus understood and laid her wing back around your withers.
  4812. > "It's a funny thing, love," she said softly.
  4813. "It's more than that. We can help others. It's gonna take some thinking, but we need to save as many ponies as we can and send them home. I want to be a part of that."
  4814. > But it wasn't the reason. After all, you had just gotten the idea and Anon didn't even know about it. You had never talked about anything like it.
  4815. > The real reason was simpler. It was all around you. The warm, summer sun shone down on the vivid greens and yellows and reds of flowers. On the small patch of green where your latest herbs were growing. Your eyes took it all in and landed on the window above it all. Your room, which you had built with your hooves.
  4816. > And the jars on your windowsill, where your first batch of potions was patiently infusing.
  4817. > A slow, soothing wind sprang up from somewhere, bringing enticing scents of the forest. You still wanted to go one day and look for interesting plants.
  4818. > However you had refused to see it before, this world was beautiful. There was much for you to explore. Both outside and... within your own heart.
  4819. > You smiled back at Pearl Shine.
  4820. "I don't know if I love him or not. And I don't know if he loves me back. But I want to find out."
  4821. > "You sure you have it in you?" the pegasus asked. "For that matter, are you sure *he* has it in *him*?"
  4822. > Your grin widened.
  4823. "I don't know. But sooner or later, one of us has to break."
  4824.  
  4825. END

Something, at least (SPG)

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