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1.
>7:38 is when you check the clock after touching down at the bachelor pad
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2.
>2 fucking dumbasses got in a pileup and shut down three lanes of the highway
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3.
>but you got 6 keys made and confirmed they all work
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4.
>you take a deep breath, sprawled on the couch
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5.
>and open FB messenger
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6.
>"Hey, just got home. I have 6 keys for you all. You coming?"
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7.
>throw ur phone down and turn on the TV
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8.
>theres a buzz as you tap into sportsurge
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9.
>click through the 5 different jerkmate ads...
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10.
>fuck. panthers are down 1-3 to the ducks
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11.
>how the-oh. bobrovskys not in net. checks out
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12.
>pick up phone
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13.
>"Yeah! Well be there in 30 minutes."
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14.
>hit her with a thumbs up
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15.
>this is actually happening
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16.
>suddenly your condomlooks a lot more dirty
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17.
>dusty table you dont even use...
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18.
>blanket and pillow compressed into one side of the couch
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19.
>your grand total of 7 dishes in the sink
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20.
>plate, big ass spoon, blender, water cup, cereal bowl, all purpose skillet and pasta pot
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21.
>could stand to clean up a bit
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22.
>dont get too flustered tho, end of the day theyre paying you to live here
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23.
>8:10, as you dry off your pan, you hear a racket coming up the stairs
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24.
>theyre not footsteps though
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25.
>its... clopping
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26.
>hooves on concrete
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27.
>and a lot of them
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28.
>what the fuck?
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29.
>and a chorus of girls voices chattering to each other
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30.
>you drop your skillet and look out the front window
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31.
>you can *hear* them go to the front but cant see any of them-holy fuck
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32.
>you swear you saw a purple horn poking up over the bottom of the sill and bob up and down towards your door
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33.
>followed by extremely loud clops on your door that reverberate through all of your walls
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34.
>"IM HERE!" you yell out as professionally as you can
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35.
>you put your ear to the door
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36.
>theres at least 5 voices giggling and laughing to each other
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37.
>like rick harrison says, you never know whats gonna come through that door
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38.
>and your lifes about to change forever
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39.
>deep breaths now
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40.
>turn the knob
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41.
>open the door
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42.
>get on the floor
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43.
>everybody walk the dinosaur
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44.
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45.
>just kidding
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46.
>you swore this shit only happens on fimfiction
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47.
>and you havent even read one since high school
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48.
>but now you have the mane 6 staring up at you with their big ole' eyes
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49.
>5 seconds go by until you realize twilight intoduced herself
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50.
>even though you know exactly who they are
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51.
>"oh... yes. im anon, youre at the right place."
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52.
>you shake her hoof
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53.
>its so soft...
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54.
>pinkie giggles
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55.
>"come on in"
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56.
>you step aside
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57.
>the 6 mares worm their way in
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58.
>raritys flank brushes the fronts of your legs
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59.
>dontgetabonerdontgetabonerdontgetaboner
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60.
>twilight turns around to address you again
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61.
>"Oh! I shouldve introduced my friends
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62.
>"im Rainbow Dash! fastest flyer in equestria!"
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63.
>"dashie he doesnt know what that is!"
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64.
>you stifle a laugh with all your jedi training
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65.
>"ah'm applejack, thanks for lettin' us live here!"
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66.
>you shake her hoof
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67.
>soft fur, but tough as nails underneath
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68.
>"IM PINKIE PIE!"
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69.
>now theres 3 balloons and a few streamers on your floor
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70.
>"I'm Rarity~"
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71.
>where did, oh there she is, on the wall
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72.
>"what's your name?"
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73.
>as if you didnt know
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74.
>"im fluttershy..."
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75.
>"can i call you flooter?"
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76.
>she giggles and nods slowly with her whole head and neck
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77.
>god shes so fucking cute
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78.
>the restless ponies are already curiously poking around at your furniture
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79.
>"so uhh,yeah. you saw the pictures i mean, thats the 2nd bathroom, thats my office with a spare bed. this is living room, kitchens down the hall, my rooms up there the door on the left, ive got a home gym in the other one you can use it if you want and... yeah, make yourselves at home"
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80.
>twilight and flooter were the only ones listening
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81.
>"we cant thank you enough mister anon"
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82.
>only your boss calls you that
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83.
>"were gonna take some time to get situated and bring our stuff in, do you wanna get a bite with us after?"
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84.
>its been a long fucking day
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85.
>"eh its kinda late and its only wednesday. maybe tomorrow?"
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86.
>"that's ok!"
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87.
>fuck, you just remembered you cant
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88.
>"so how much stuff do you... ponies... have?"
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89.
>cant let on how much you know
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90.
>you follow twilight back into the hallway
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91.
>and see a mountain of suitcases and beauty stuff piling up to the ceiling
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92.
>"dont worry, 80% of that stuff is Rarity's"
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93.
>like a bird on your shoulder, rainbow dash remarks from right beside you
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94.
>she hasnt touched the ground once
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95.
>"i shoulda guessed."
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96.
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97.
>the next morning you were woken up by a clop on your bedroom door
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98.
>at 5:30 in the morning
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99.
>after a long night of chattering and rearranging with the lights on
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100.
>you open it up and theres applejack, hat on and all
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101.
>"mornin' anon, uhh, i saw you had some eggs and bell peppers, can i make some breakfast?"
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102.
>this is gonna be a slippery slope
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103.
>"sure" you grunt out
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104.
>but stop yourself from slamming the door in her face
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105.
>"thanks! ill leave you some"
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106.
>she winks and turns back around to start cooking
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107.
>you peek over at the living room
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108.
>rainbow and flooter are curled up on opposite ends of the couch
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109.
>raritys sprawled out luxuriously on her fainting couch, diagonal in the center of the room amongst vanitys and other nicknack pieces of furniture
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110.
>gonna have to navigate around that in a few hours
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111.
>you go back to bed with the scent of of eggs and butter coasting into your nostrils
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112.
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113.
>iphonealarmtone.wav
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114.
>god damnit
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115.
>the three S's are muscle memory at this point
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116.
>grab the dirty skillet and wash it
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117.
>slap it on the stove, open the-
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118.
>oh, theres a plate of food
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119.
>thanks AJ
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120.
>shes nowhere to be seen though
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121.
>mozy out ot the living room so you can be closer to the mares
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122.
>because whos day isnt brightened by 6 mares
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123.
>your office door's closed, twilight and pinkie must be in there
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124.
>rarity and fluttershy are in the exact same position as earlier
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125.
>and a very done-with-this-shit dash eating a bowl of cereal at your table
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126.
>"sup, action figure" she drones out
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127.
>oh yeah, you dont have a shirt on
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128.
>"sup blue fast, you always loot peoples cereal on the first night?"
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129.
>"AJ said it was up for grabs"
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130.
>told you, slippery slope
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131.
>"whered she go, anyways?"
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132.
>dash shrugged as she slurped down a spoonful of your corn flakes
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133.
>"where do *you* go at this time?"
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134.
>"work. so i can, you know, exist"
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135.
>dash chuckled
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136.
>she was starting to wake up and get that spunk in her voice
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137.
>"ive got some clouds to shuffle around today, showers at 4 youknow?"
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138.
>"oy vey you just fly in from israel?"
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139.
>"huh?"
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140.
>"nevermind"
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141.
>"and then make a biiiiig awesome rainbow after it!"
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142.
>she makes a rainbow motion with her hooves
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143.
>you crack a smile
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144.
>dash picks up her bowl and starts drinking the rest of it like a true bro
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145.
>but then starts lapping up the inside of it like a dog
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146.
>you just wanna stick your arm out and ruffle that rainbow-
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147.
>'ahhhhhhh'
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148.
>-and milk covered muzzle
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149.
>"welp i gotta finish getting ready so if you fly outta here ill seeya tonite"
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150.
>"alright, seeya around!"
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151.
>about 15 minutes later you start to exit, as put together as you can get in that time
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152.
>rarity's gone, the fan's on in the guest bath, and the shower's running
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153.
>youre not one for irish goodbyes, but wagies gotta get in the cagie
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154.
>a ray of teal light catches your eye as you reach for the door
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155.
>the yellow pegasus quickly shutters her eye after tracking you across the hall
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156.
>"bye fluttershy" you say out, calling her bluff
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157.
>she grins and stops pretending to sleep
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158.
>"bye anon..." she quietly says back, starting to unfold and sploot out
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159.
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160.
>as dashie brushes her teeth, a staccato thumping starts to vibrate through the walls
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161.
>"ugh, what is that *racket?*" rarity melodramatically whined from the shower
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162.
>*pbbt* "better than the last place ill say that" dashie says
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163.
>and comes out to meet fluttershy eagerly staring out the window
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164.
>"look rainbow, its anon!"
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165.
>the thumping revved up and down like an engine backing out of a parking spot
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166.
>and the two pegasi watched as a black and blaze orange dirtbike banked left and rode off out of the condo complex
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167.
>"coool, what is that?"
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168.
>"i dont know, it looks like one of those, uhm, what are they called?
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169.
>"cah-rrs i think"
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170.
>"but like half of one, on two wheels"
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171.
>"that's different though, the ones we always see are like, swoopy, or like those stupid scooter things"
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172.
>"i think theyre cute..." fluttershy said softly, her sensitive snowpity a bit hurt
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173.
>rainbow pulled her friend into a sidehug
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174.
>"sorry flutters, i didnt mean it"
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175.
>"goooOOOOOOOD MORNING EVERYPONY!!!!"
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176.
>oh celestia, pinkies awake
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177.
>"hey pinkster, you got the need?"
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178.
>"yeah i do, the need..."
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179.
>"FOR SPEED!" both of them yelled out and brohoofed
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180.
>somepony watched Top Gun recently
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