GREEN   75   0
   1783 10.23 KB    145

[SM] Banned. Reason: PLAP

By pzeezp
Created: 2025-06-18 03:32:13
Expiry: Never
twilight sparklerainbow dashtf2/mlptf2/

  1. >It'd been a few years since the portal to earth had opened
  2. >Years after first contact, years after all the diplomatic talks, years after trade was established
  3. >Years after the "internet" came to Equestria
  4. >A human invention that would revolutionize the whole world!
  5. >Or so you thought
  6. >Turns out, it didn't change much. It just made ponies visit your library less often since most books were digitalized
  7. >By you and other archivists
  8. >... Mostly you
  9. >You still kept original copies though, nothing could compare to holding a physical book
  10. >You aren't a big fan of all these screens, hopefully they ca-
  11. >"Twilight where are you?! I'm dying over here!"
  12. >You sigh as you return your attention back to the computer screen
  13. >Rainbow wasn't dying, not literally, just in the game you two were playing
  14. >Dash had gotten a little obsessed with this specific human computer game
  15. >You woke up one morning to find her sitting in front of your library computer, apparently having installed the game overnight
  16. >It's a public library, and the computer was technically meant to be used by visitors so... You guessed it was alright
  17. >Curious to see how she had managed to figure how to install a game, you looked through the search history
  18. >She'd apparently clicked on every website that'd promised "free" copies of the game until she found the correct one
  19. >Later, you discovered that the game was already free
  20. >After cleansing the computer from everything she managed to infect it with, she practically begged you to let her play every now and then
  21. >Every now and then turned into every other day
  22. >Then every day
  23. >You briefly thought of charging her to use the computer
  24. >But no, you didn't have it in you
  25. >That's more something Applejack would do
  26. >In the end, you decided to just buy a second computer for the library... Out of your own pocket
  27. >Figurative pockets, hypothetical even
  28. >It was pretty cheap, apparently it's easier to make them in Equestria due to how prevalent magical enchantments are
  29. >As always, magic proves its superiority
  30. >When Rainbow saw it the first thing she said was to get you to install the game so you could play with her
  31. >"TWILIGHT!"
  32. >Why was she yelling at you? You've had your healing beam on her this entire ti-
  33. >"Rainbow" turns invisible in front of you, leaving you and saying "Good job"
  34. >Running to the frontlines you find rainbow jumping around a Heavy
  35. >You manage to get your healing beam on her in time for her to be hit by a couple stray bullets
  36. >She survives thanks to you and takes down the Heavy
  37. "Sorry, I was healing the other players"
  38. >Technically true
  39. >Good thing you aren't honesty
  40. >You only got tricked by that spy because you weren't paying attention
  41. >Even though you only really play this game to spend time with Rainbow, but you'd like to think you're getting better at it!
  42. >Not as good as Rainbow though
  43. >She takes every match so seriously...
  44. >She even spent money on the game
  45. >Rainbow "Drops by to her friends' houses during lunch so she can mooch off of them" Dash spent bits on something other than Wonderbolts merchandize
  46. >She bought "cosmetics"
  47. >She tried to get you to buy a few, but you don't see the logic behind paying for something that doesn't actually exist
  48. >All her cosmetics were painted in different colors, in an attempt to imitate her rainbow hair
  49. >Rainbow had even bought an "unusual", which was just a more expensive hat with floating stuff around it
  50. >It sat atop her character's head; A ball cap with a little raincloud
  51. >Dash really liked it
  52. >She asked rarity to make her a ball cap to match her digital counterpart, almost a perfect replica of the game's model
  53. >Then she asked you to enchant it
  54. >Which you promptly refused after spending a good minute explaining the intricate and volatile nature of elemental based enchantments to Dash
  55. >You don't think she really listened to your explanation
  56. >But she hasn't asked you to enchant her hat again
  57. >Which was good, since you made most of that up
  58. >Making a lightly drizzling raincloud that could absorb the moisture from the air around it didn't sound too taxing of an enchantment
  59. >But Dash didn't need to know that
  60. >She'd just leave the hat on while she plays on your computer and drench your wooden floor
  61. >It's wood, it's not supposed to be soaking wet
  62. >You think
  63. >Maybe it just waters the living tree?
  64. >But you don't want to risk ruining the floor
  65. >It's still public property, even if you live in it an-
  66. >"TWILIGHT DO YOUR BUCKING JOB AND HEAL ME!"
  67. >Jeez, rude
  68. >You'll talk to her about her attitude when playing the game, later
  69. >Right now she's in "gamer" mode and will be unreasonable
  70. >Though, maybe your mind is wandering off a bit too much today
  71. >You're just not feeling it today, but logged in anyway to test the recent upgrades you bought for your server
  72. >That's right! YOUR server!
  73. >Dash was tired of playing with humans, so she looked into what it would take to host a server
  74. >Then she got bored and asked you to look into it so you two could "Make a super awesome pony only hang out server away from the monkeys"
  75. >You did, it didn't take long to set up
  76. >You thought that only a handful of ponies would even join, barely enough for a few matches
  77. >But dash apparently knew a couple of ponies that played the game
  78. >And those ponies knew other ponies
  79. >And so on and so forth, in the end, the server became a fairly popular pony hang out spot, just like dash said!
  80. >Everypony was well behaved, so you didn't really need any rules of conduct for the server
  81. >It was just a game after all
  82. >There was one real rule however: No humans
  83. >...
  84. >Hopefully that doesn't spark some xenophobia case against the two of you, humans would understand right?
  85. >Talking to a newly discovered sapient species was fun and interesting
  86. >It was a once in a generational opportunity
  87. >But it's been years since first contact
  88. >You've done all the research you wanted, cataloged all aspects of their world, wrote and published multiple papers about their culture...
  89. >And over the years, you've found out that you just prefer the company of other ponies
  90. >...
  91. >You're not racist
  92. >That's more Applejack's thing
  93. >Despite your efforts, some humans tried to join your server, some more sneakily than others
  94. >Luckily, Rainbow had developed a simplistic, yet efficient method of weeding out the humans
  95. >"Hey you, the red soldier, are you a pony? 'PonyHole' I'm talking to you, answer me!"
  96. >It wasn't as elegant as you'd like. But, surprisingly, it was effective enough to keep humans out
  97. >Most of them... probably
  98. >There's probably a couple of players that are actually humans, but you couldn't do much about that.
  99. >It's not like you could ask them to post hooves, that'd be lewd
  100. >And being honest, you don't mind most humans, the ones that made no trouble anyway
  101. >It was Dash who wanted every single human out
  102. >She was way brasher than she needed to be, but given her past experience with humans, it was understandable
  103. >Not acceptable, but understandable
  104. >She has... a history with them
  105. >She'd become an icon to the humans
  106. >At first Rainbow was over the moon, a whole species that couldn't get enough of her!
  107. >Then she found out that, rather than being considered the pinnacle of awesomeness and athleticism as she thought herself as, the humans thought of her more akin to a... Sex symbol
  108. >Even then, she was still flattered
  109. >For a while
  110. >She'd boast about being "The sexiest mare in two universes"
  111. >Then came the "merchandize" of herself, anatomically accurate
  112. >You'll say, humans got pretty close to the real thing
  113. >After getting a pardon from the princess for trying to sabotage the portal to earth, she decided every human was, suddenly and collectively, revolting
  114. >And she never thought they were cool in the first place, and everypony who said otherwise was just another smelly monkey
  115. >She got into a lot of online fights over that
  116. >You're snapped out of your reminiscence by Dash's voice cracking over the mic, still trying to question the newcomer
  117. >She had the worst mic quality out of everyone in the server
  118. >It was her headset and mic combo with shiny lights
  119. >Her favorite, unfortunately
  120. >"YOU MOTHERBUCKER ANSWER ME! I KNOW YOU'RE HUMAN! TWILIGHT, BAN THIS GUY!"
  121. "Dash, it could just be a very shy pony you're harassing, imagine if someone like fluttershy was playing this game, she'd be terrified of you! Besides, how do you even know that it's a human?"
  122. >As if to prove you wrong, a masculine voice came in through the in game voice chat
  123. >"UNF DASHIE PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLA- "
  124. >He kept repeating the word "plap" non-stop, very loudly
  125. >"TWILIGHT!"
  126. >Rainbow yelled at you, making your ears ring, the echo of hearing her both in game and next to you, disorienting you for a moment
  127. >She was turned away from the game, staring directly at you, her cheeks red from a mixture of what you assume is both rage and embarrassment
  128. >With practiced motions, you open the game's console and start typing the required commands for the ban
  129. >As you do, you mindlessly start mouthing along every "plap"
  130. >He had a good rhythm going, though you have to stop for a bit to catch your breath
  131. >How can he keep going for so long without rest?
  132. >Human stamina
  133. >You chuckle, they boast about that a lot. Although field reports vary
  134. >With a sigh, you press enter, and as soon as you do, the plaps stop and a message appears in the game's text chat
  135. >[SM] Player "PonyHole" was banned. Reason: Plap
  136. >Rainbow turns around and returns to the game her scowl never leaving her face
  137. >You knew she hated your ban reason names, even more that you kept track of them
  138. >And doubly so that they were displayed on the game chat for all the server to see
  139. >But transparency was important
  140. >You tab out of the game to look at your personal worksheet you kept the server's statistics that you kept track of
  141. >Under "ban reasons", you increased the "Plap" section from 54 to 55, making it the most banned offense
  142. >In second place stood "I want to cum inside Rainbow Dash"
  143. >And closely followed in third was "Crusty Cunt"
  144. >When questioned about that particular one she just scowled at you with a blush
  145. >Statistics were always useful, maybe you could get something useful out of Rainbow's newfound vice

Heavy consequences

by pzeezp

Looking for upgrades

by pzeezp

Oportunistic research

by pzeezp

Transient Curse

by pzeezp

Viewer discretion is advised

by pzeezp