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1.
>Your ears kept ringing as you silently bore laser beams into the boulder.
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2.
>You were reaching your limit here in Equestria. Too many friendly ponies who brought each other up, who loved each other, who kept each other company.
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3.
>It was a far, far cry from how you operated in your previous life.
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4.
>When you addressed people by "Sir", when you shut yourself up whenever someone important was speaking. You did what they all asked unquestionably, because for a majority of your life, you were at the bottom of the social totem pole.
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5.
>Whether it be in family, school, or at work.
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6.
>You always pinned yourself as expendable.
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7.
>It was the life, being the top guy to volunteer yourself for anything and everything.
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8.
>To follow orders.
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9.
>The slow stepping of hooves on the grass, someone had decided to visit you.
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10.
>"Sorry hun, ah just need to buck that tree you're lying upon." the Pony near you said.
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11.
>Welp, "back to the front" as Rick May would say.
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12.
>You don't deserve a break, not after everything you've done. Not after everything.
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13.
>You grin and bear it.
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14.
"Sorry Ma'am, just wanted to appreciate the-" you found yourself cut off.
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15.
>She snorts, "Ma'am!? Haha! Ma'am! Y'know sugar-cube, ah work for a living."
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16.
>You snap your head away from the boulder to find yourself face-to-snout with Applejack. Nearly bopping each other with your respective noses. Scandalous.
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17.
>You collect yourself and sit yourself up, you easily tower over most ponies by a head or two, but your muscle memory binds you all the same by making you stand at attention. Arms behind your back in mock parade rest.
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18.
>You never served, but you adopted it all the same.
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19.
"Sorry Miss-" No wait, "Applejack, I just wanted to rest after a day of work."
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20.
>She gets herself into position and bucks the apple tree, fruits falling into the basket perfectly.
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21.
>"C'mon Anon, trot an' talk with me." Applejack says as she moves to the next tree. You follow.
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22.
"Yeah!" you say loudly in affirmation. This made Applejack's ear twitch as you walked behind her.
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23.
>"Yer know you can relax around her on the farm, right Anon?" She says turning her head towards you. She had a bright expression.
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24.
"Sorry Applejack it... won't happen again." Damage control was always good, a honed skill in saving your hide more than once.
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25.
>So you just walked and talked, and she did those things while bucking apples.
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26.
>Things about the weather, your time in Ponyville, her family, what Sweetie Belle did in school.
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27.
>The conversation quickly turned to friends.
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28.
"Sorry Applejack, I guess I don't really have friends, aside from a few drinking buddies."
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29.
>"Ah don't believe it, you're always so nice to everypony in town. Why ah'd be willing to put in a good word or two for you if you'd give the say so!" She bucks another tree, it completely fills up the basket. A sign to head back to the cart and grab a new one.
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30.
"Sorry AJ, I got my-" not order, no, "place in the world."
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31.
>You smile with a pensive expression.
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32.
"Guys like me were always expendable, anyway." you mutter quietly.
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33.
>It was supposed to be an off-hand remark, but she heard it.
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34.
>"What? What do ya mean by expendable Anon?"
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35.
>You start breathing loudly as if you were exasperated. Before you calmed yourself by vague thoughts of caring women and good beer.
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36.
"Nothin', it's... nothing."
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37.
>She stops in her tracks. And turns around to you.
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38.
>"Nothing? Nothing? Non, if there's a mighty something troublin' you, y'know you can always come to me or the girls for help."
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39.
"I can't, it's not in the cards."
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40.
>This time at your attempt to rebuff her, she got a serious expression.
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41.
"I just can't, even if I wanted to, no one would understand."
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42.
>You drag your hand over your face.
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43.
"But if I keep my head down and follow my orders, I'll survive this. I know, I..." You mutter to yourself a bit more, your voice trailing to a halt.
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44.
>You let out a shudder of exhaustion.
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45.
"I have to keep up this act. I can't explain it, I just /have/ to."
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46.
>You ball your fist up in anger. Your eyebrows furrowed.
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47.
"I don't care if I die, if I hurt someone, if I hurt someone I love."
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48.
>Dreams of a field, with an orange pony, known for her apples and love of stetson hats come to mind...
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49.
"I have to do what I'm told. And I'll carry it out until the end."
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50.
>Moments of brevity in deep, restful sleep. Where only you and the mare you liked were together. You close your eyes to be 'there' just a little longer.
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51.
"We're... I'm... expendable."
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52.
>You open your eyes to reality.
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53.
"I... hate it." you confess, "I hate everything about myself."
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54.
>Applejack goes to your side, having put aside her baskets, and hugs you. You kneel down to return the hug.
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55.
>"Ah know you're so wound up Hon, but this ain't a way of living, this kinda thinkin'."
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56.
>She nuzzles you in the cheek.
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57.
>"It ain't healthy being like this."
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58.
>You can feel her breath being so close like this.
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59.
>"You're workin' yerself to the bone, even when yer don't need to."
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60.
>She strokes your neck with her forehoof. You feel yourself cry.
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61.
>"Ah thought ah could do everything by mahself, but truth is sugarcube?"
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62.
>She shudders next to you in weariness.
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63.
>"Ah'm just one pony, ah can't do everything by mahself."
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64.
>Then what?
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65.
>"We have friends, family and others to help us."
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66.
>"And when we're tired? Well darn tootin', we take a break!"
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67.
>You both break your hug, she disconnects and settles a little away from you.
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68.
>"So enough about all these here 'instructions' and 'commands' and your fancy pants talk."
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69.
>She then gave you an expression you can't explain.
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70.
>It can only be expressed when a woman gives you that look, the look that everything's going to be okay.
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71.
>"You'll do just fine if you'll be yourself."
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