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V1

By TiredAsShit
Created: 2020-12-18 22:52:26
Expiry: Never

  1. >Ah, a nice sunny day in Ponyville, how relaxing.
  2. >That is, if you were outside. You didn't much care for summer time here even though you were better suited to it than these ponies were
  3. >Ya know, better sweat glands, no fur and all
  4. >Summer days just seemed to wear you out though, most likely due to the heat but summer nights were much more enjoyable, even the smell after dark was pleasant.
  5. >Most of the townsfolk sort of shared this sentiment with you during this time.
  6. >Summer was usually when ponies relaxed a bit, school was out and many took time off of work to be with their families, save for the earth pony farmers who seemed to thrive in the heat along with their crops.
  7. >Speaking of, today is Thursday which means its farmers market day, so naturally it's time to go fill up your stocks lest you starve to death.
  8. >You had been putting this off for a while now and this would be your last chance to get food till next week and your supplies were dangerously low.
  9. >With a sigh you haul yourself out of bed and stumble to the bathroom to perform the holy triple S.
  10. >After getting dressed in your usual clothes, you decide to have breakfast.
  11. >Lumbering down the stairs of your small two floor house, you turn into the kitchen and look in your pantry for ingredients to make brekky.
  12. >You are greeted with cobwebs and a semi bruised genuine Apple family apple.
  13. "Well shit, I guess today really is grocery day."
  14. >Not one to go out on an empty stomach, you take the last survivor out of the cupboard and take a bite of its juicy flesh
  15. >Ever since you got here all produce, well really all food in general here seemed to taste miles better than whatever crap you ate on Earth.
  16. >Even this apple, slightly rotten and bruised, would have made you cry back home with how delicious it was comparatively.
  17. >You are surprised that you haven't turned into an amorphous blob in the short time you've been here with all the orgasmic food you've crammed down your throat.
  18. >The first time you met Pinkie Pie you thought you were going to die in a diabetic coma with all the confectionery she literally shot at you D-day style.
  19. >You smile at that memory, the other elements desperately trying to stop the assault on your person after Pinkie found out you had never really cared for sweets before and thought you just hadn't tried the right kind.
  20. >Man, had you been wrong to doubt her on that one, her baking was amazing and totally changed your mind.
  21. >Yet even after your dietary changes, pony food seems to not really have had any major negative effect on you, most likely due to less refined sugars or something, or just another bullshit pony magic quirk.
  22. >Whatever the reason, you are glad you haven't ballooned out.
  23. >After enjoying your meager breakfast, you head over to your kitchen table and grab the wicker grocery basket that Fluttershy had made for you after she grew more accustomed to you and your relatively intimidating stature.
  24. >It confounds you how she was able to weave so precisely with the seemingly clumsy hooves the population here possessed.
  25. >Probably just more magic or something, you stopped caring and asking how some things were possible after getting to know Pinkie Pie well enough.
  26. >After grabbing some bits, you head out the front door ready to begin your day.
  27. >After taking a step outside you immediately walk back into your house and shut the door.
  28. "Holy fuck. Today's gonna be a hot one."
  29. >After taking a step outside into the late morning air, you were instantly assaulted by what must have been at least an 80 degree breeze.
  30. >Momentarily weighing the options between starving to death or heatstroke you figure that heatstroke would probably be the better way to go and head back upstairs for some better clothes.
  31. >Back at the front door with some old stained shorts and a Suns out, Guns out wifebeater, [spoiler]don't judge its the only one you have here[/spoiler] you tentatively reach for the doorknob.
  32. >Steeling yourself you decide to just rip the bandaid off and throw open the door.
  33. "Good lord Celestia, calm your buns, you're gonna bake me to death over here."
  34. >Unfortunately for you, you lived near the edge of town which meant a long trek to get to the outdoor food library.
  35. >Shutting the door behind you, you set off toward the marketplace all the while silently cursing her majesty and her bodacious booty.
  36. >Speaking of booties, these equines got them in spades.
  37. >What they lacked in the titty department they most assuredly made up for in the ass one.
  38. >Even pegasi had rockn badunkadunks though they were smaller and more toned than the other two races.
  39. >After living here for awhile, you began to take notice of this and became a bit of a pervert.
  40. >Nothing too extreme but, you may have gotten caught looking a little too long at some cutiemarks.
  41. >Ponies never seemed to mind though and in some cases might have even gotten a confidence boost from you mindlessly ogling their goods.
  42. >Now you haven't done the dirty with anypony yet, but you can appreciate them all the same. You just don't know if you're ready for a committed relationship.
  43. >Maybe you'll try casting out your net this next hearts and hooves day and see what happens. Can't hurt after all. [spoiler]hopefully[/spoiler]
  44. >You continue towards the sound of peddling ponies while thanking the gods that for whatever reason you can't get sunburned here as human sunscreen is non existent.
  45. >Nearing Sugarcube corner, you set your basket down and brace yourself as you know what is about to happen is unavoidable.
  46. >On cue, a pink blur shoots out of the bakery and almost knocks you clean off your feet as you hold on for dear life to it.
  47. >"OHMYGOSHANONitssogreattoseeyouagainIthoughtyouwouldnevercomeoutagainbuthereyouareand-"
  48. >As your ears are assaulted by the pink mare in your hands she shoves a sickly sweet poppy seed cupcake into your waiting maw.
  49. >Chewing the treat down you take a look at the happy rambling pony in your arms and smile.
  50. >Pinkie definitely helped you come out of your shell and was instrumental for most of the friends you have here.
  51. >"-yourwearingdifferentclothestoo!I'veneverseenthosebeforewhydidyou-"
  52. >You cut her off with a boop to the snout so you can get a word in edgewise.
  53. "Well Pinkie, first off It's great to see you too, and why I'm wearing these is because I would probably melt if I wore my usual clothes."
  54. >Giggling at the boop received, the pink pony follows up with an exaggerated gasp at the thought of you melting.
  55. >"Oh no nonny! We can't have that!"
  56. >She then immediately bounds back into the store and back out into your arms before you even know what happened
  57. >Something cool presses against your face before you notice its a nice big glass of homemade lemonade being held by a beaming party pony.
  58. "Aww you didn't have to do that Pinkie, I wasn't really gonna melt."
  59. >"I know that silly! I just want to make sure you're well hydrated!" she responds with an even bigger smile.
  60. >Thanking her you move her over to one hand and put the massive glass of lemonade to your lips and take a glance at your dehydration savior.
  61. >It seems that the heat was getting even to Pinkie as her hair had lost some of its usual poof and her fur was slick with sweat. Working in a hot bakery all morning had no doubt contributed to this.
  62. >She also was one of the larger mares here in ponyville, not just in weight due to the treats she loved, but also due to being an earth pony.
  63. >Earth ponies enjoyed the biggest frames and therefore the biggest butts on average of all three races, and on Pinkie in particular all the sweets seemed to fill out that area quite well.
  64. >Granted, it also gave her a few chub rolls, but on a pony It was more cute than anything else.
  65. >Even so, she was relatively easy to hold with one hand. These ponies were deceptively light for their size.
  66. >Pegasi especially due to their more porous bones Twilight had informed you about.
  67. >Made sense you think, being like birds after all and flying around would make hollow bones a good adaptation.
  68. >Feeling Pinkie slip a bit you quickly readjust your handhold under her to better support her weight.
  69. >Chugging more of the delicious drink you were given, you suddenly come to realize where you are holding the Ponkster.
  70. >You give a slight testing squeeze with your left hand to see if your fears were true.
  71. >Yep, that was definitely a meaty fleshy part of her and the way she was oriented gave you little doubt what you had your hand under.
  72. >Hearing giggling you look down at your molestation victim to see her laughing.
  73. >"He he... Careful Anon, some mares might get the wrong impression." She says in a husky tone and giving you a sly smile.
  74. >Taken by surprise, you choke on your lemonade and get your chin and neck wet with the sugary drink.
  75. >Quick as a bullet, Pinkie's tongue whips out and laps up the spillage before it makes it too far down.
  76. >Taking the drink out of your mouth you try to utter an apology before a marshmallow hoof plants itself against your mouth.
  77. >In between more giggles, Pinkie takes back the glass in her other hoof.
  78. >"I know you didn't mean to Nonny, no apology necessary." She says almost too sweetly.
  79. >Downing the rest of the glass in one go she shoves the empty cup into her mane where it seemingly ceases to exist.
  80. >Hopping down from your hand she looks back over her shoulder at your still sputtering ass while walking -walking- back to the bakery.
  81. >"See you around Anon"
  82. >And with that she saunters back into the shop before you can even think of anything to say.
  83. >Getting your bearings back with you, you try to process what just happened before the pink terror shoots back out and this time knocking you flat on your ass.
  84. >"AAAAAAAHHIcantbelieveIdidn'tremembertoinviteyoutothepartytonightwhy-"
  85. >Snapping back to reality, oh there goes gravity you look back at this silly pony that almost made you tear a hole in your shorts babble on about a party or somethi-
  86. "Huh? What party Pinkie?"
  87. >"THE PARTY TONIGHT! I ALMOST FORGOT TO INVITE YOU NONNYYYY!"
  88. >Your eardrums are now thoroughly shattered by this possessed equine currently shaking you back and forth with the power of a magnitude 9 earthquake.
  89. "P-Pinkie! I-I-It's OKAY!" you barely get out, the shaking only increasing
  90. >"NOIT'SNOTI'MATERRIBLEPONYWHODOESN'TCAREENOUGHABOUTHERFRIENDSTO-"
  91. >You cut her off again with your hand this time covering her muzzle stopping both her screaming and her violent shaking that almost knocked your fillings out.
  92. "Pinkie, really it's ok."
  93. >You get more rushed yelling that thankfully was muffled by your hand.
  94. >Trying to get her attention you snap your fingers in front of her teary eyes a few times.
  95. "Pinkie, look at me"
  96. >This seems to calm her down some and she focuses back at your eyes.
  97. "Pinkie, I would love to come to your party. All I need to know is the time and place."
  98. >You slowly lift your hand off of the cute candy colored confectioner carefully so she could conjure her curt concise comprehensive comment.
  99. >What
  100. >"You promise you aren't mad at me?" a still somewhat teary eyed Pinkie hopefully looks up at you from her seat on your lap asks.
  101. "Ponka, I don't think any fibre in my body is even remotely capable of hating you." a genuine smile on your face.
  102. >"He he, thanks Anon, I went a little coocoo huh?" A smile of her own working its way back onto her snout.
  103. >"Well the party starts a little after sundown so it'll be cooler and it'll be great cause IT'S AT THE LAKE!"
  104. >She accentuates the last part of her sentence by giddily bouncing a bit in your lap.
  105. >Down boy.
  106. "That's a pretty good idea Panka, the water will be nice and warm all night huh?"
  107. >"I know! Isn't it just the best idea EVER?!"
  108. "Yeah it'll be fun! So should I bring anything?"
  109. >Pinkie puts a hoof to her chin and screws her face up into an exaggerated thinking expression.
  110. >"Hmm.... nnnNOPE! other than some trunks you should be all set!"
  111. >She moves to get up but then seems to remember something and turns back to face you."
  112. >"OH! but if you could, can you stop by Sugarcube corner like an hour or two before the party to help move some electronic stuff? It would really be super dooper helpfuuuul~"
  113. >She even bats her eyelashes at you like a certain dramatic dress pony.
  114. >Powerless against the adorableness, you concede with little resistance.
  115. "Uh sure Pinkie, what kind of stuff you need moved?
  116. >"Oh you know, just speakers, lights, light up dancefloor, turntables, and some other stuff."
  117. "Wow, seems like you're going all out on this one huh?"
  118. >"Well I gotta Nonny! I have some friends visiting from Canterlot I haven't seen in FOREVER and I want this to be the BEST PARTY EVER for them!"
  119. "Well then you can count on me Pinkie, any friend of yours is a friend of mine."
  120. >"Aww thank you Nonnykins! But we both know that that's too many ponies for you to handle." She says with a somewhat smug grin.
  121. >Rising up, you take Ponk off of you and set her down back on the ground.
  122. "Yeah, you're right about that one. I don't think there's hardly anyone you haven't made friends with that you've come across."
  123. "I mean you have more friends than the actual Princess of Friendship herself!"
  124. >Breaking into a bigger smirk, she dusts her hoof off on her chest.
  125. >"Well someponies gotta-"
  126. >At that point she goes ridged stiff her eyes wide before shooting back into the bakery.
  127. >"AHHHTHECAKES!SORRYANONGOTTAGOBEHEREBEFOREPARTYSTARTSOKBYE!"
  128. >You stand in the middle of the scorching road, again bewildered by the pink anomaly you call a friend.
  129. >You shrug, pick up your basket and continue to the market.
  130. >Bless that girl but sometimes she's just too much crazy at once.
  131. >Got a nice butt though.
  132. >Walking past more businesses and homes you start to see more ponies milling about as you get closer to the center of town.
  133. >Some give you a wave or hello but don't stay too long in the sun with you as you're sure they are feeling the increasing heat even more than you.
  134. >Speaking of, you've started to sweat a bit yourself. Even going at a leisurely pace the sun was just beating rays down on you without mercy.
  135. >Still relatively early, you knew the worst was still yet to come as you finally make it into the market.
  136. >Well, time to get shopping.
  137. >You didn't bother writing a list as you pretty much needed everything so you make your way to each stall and barter a bit.
  138. -~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
  139. >After finishing a nice short chat with Carrot Top about melting steel beams you come to your last stop, the apple family stall.
  140. >Manned- or you suppose ponied? by the element of honesty herself, Applejack.
  141. >Getting a better look at her shows that unlike most of the other stall ponies, she was absolutely covered in sweat, her trademark hat even looking a little damp where it sat on her head.
  142. >Even looking like she just ran twenty miles, you could tell she felt none the worse for wear.
  143. >Applejack was another "gifted" earth pony.
  144. >And boy oh boy was she gifted.
  145. >Where Pinkie's booty was soft and doughy, Applejack's was tight and muscular with just enough fat to shape it nicely.
  146. >This was undoubtedly due to the many hours a day she spent kicking trees for apples.
  147. >You begin to sweat even more as you approach the farmers stand but not from the heat.
  148. >Getting closer attracts her attention and she calls out to you as you approach.
  149. >"Well howdy pardner! Haven't seen you for a spell, hot day today ain't it?
  150. "You can say that again Applejack, I even had to switch up my clothes or I'd burn up!"
  151. >"Ah see that, sometimes ah wish I didn't have no fur like you Ahnon ah mean just look at how much sweat I built up just this mornin' buckin' the trees!"
  152. >She turns and kicks out a hoof behind her sending sweat flying off of her powerful leg and toned buttocks.
  153. >You slightly bite down on your lip and suppress a little grunt after the display.
  154. "Y-yeah, hah I-I uh guess that's one of the upsides of being a human ha ah..."
  155. >Smooth Anon
  156. >Applejack raises an eyebrow at your less than stellar performance.
  157. >"You okay there Sugarcube?"
  158. "U-uh yeah! I think I just uh, might be feeling this heat a little more than I led on"
  159. >At this, the mare just raised her eyebrow further.
  160. >"Uh huh, okay then Anon."
  161. >Oh shit that's right, element of honesty and all, she probably saw right through you.
  162. >You are now sweating bullets which seems to get her attention.
  163. >"Hmm, ah guess you are sizzlin' a little bit, here have some a this."
  164. >You get passed a cold mug of what must be apple juice as its not quite cider season yet.
  165. >And if it were, you'd have to fight off Dash to even get any.
  166. >Putting the mug to your lips, you take a big gulp of what is certainly apple family apple juice.
  167. "Ah~ thanks Applejack, this stuff's the best!"
  168. >Guess that's one of your thirsts quenched.
  169. >"Yur quite welcome, Anon. Can't have mah only human customer withering away now can I?"
  170. >She puts both front hooves on the countertop and fixes you with a smile, "Now, what can I getcha?"
  171. >You quickly throw back your second drink of the day and give the orange farm pony your order.
  172. "Well, for starters, one of your large jugs of this would be great" pointing to the empty mug in your hand.
  173. >Applejack ducks under the stand and brings up a nice heavy jug of homemade apple juice.
  174. >"Alright, anything else ya need?"
  175. "Yeah, I'm gonna need a bunch of apples, probably a whole bushel."
  176. >Applejack seems taken aback by this for a second before squinting at you.
  177. >"You bakin' or somethin'? Or are you just buyin' me out again so you ain't gotta come outta your house for a another month?"
  178. >You get ready to make up an excuse before looking back at her to see she is giving you one hell of a stink eye.
  179. >"You were 'bout to lie again wern't cha."
  180. >This was stated as a fact rather than a question.
  181. "Heh, well uh, maybe I might be a bit of a homebody."
  182. >Cocking her head back she looks at you a little disapprovingly. "Mhmm that's what ah thought."
  183. "W-well It's been really hot these past few days so I thought I'd just stay home and relax a bit!"
  184. >Applejack just gives you a "really" face.
  185. >"A little heat never hurt no one Anon. I swear, between y'all an rainbow, ah don't know who's lazier.
  186. >You take some offense to that.
  187. >"Maybe y'all should find a job tah keep you busy an' outta the house. Ah think even Fluttershy leaves the house more than you."
  188. "I donno about that applejack I think I might be allergic to work." you tease
  189. >"Heh, well maybe if'n ah talk to the princess about how that stipend y'all got is keeping you cooped up too much you might just change your tune."
  190. >Oh no, your lifeblood.
  191. >Your lips go dry at the thought of actually having to work for something again and not being a drain on society.
  192. "I-I uh guess I could stand to spend more time outside with ponies I suppose, heh heh" you nervously chuckle
  193. >Gaining a more friendly face, the apple pony smiles a bit and throws a bucket filled with apples down on the counter.
  194. >"That's all ah ask. That'll be 45 bits Anon"
  195. >Tossing a small bitbag her way with a bit more bits than she asked in it you tip your invisible hat to her and switch out the mug for the bucket.
  196. >Hopefully that didn't look fucking stupid.[spoiler]m'apple[/spoiler]
  197. >Before you can leave though she gets your attention again.
  198. >"Ya'll comin' to the party tonight?"
  199. "Well yeah, I promised Pinkie I would so I kinda have too."
  200. >She perks up at this and gives you a friendly smack on the arm. "Now that's what ah like to hear Anon! See yah at the party!"
  201. >You smile and give your goodbyes as well and start the walk home.
  202. >You decide to take the longer way back through the park this time as there is more shade to shield you from the ever rising sun.
  203. >Rainbow may have done a too good of a job today, there wasn't a single cloud in the sky.
  204. >Of all the days to not slack off it had to be today huh.
  205. >Passing many more ponies in the park than on the main streets tells you this is where most of the townsponies are today.
  206. >Walking near a group of trees, you hear a familiar trio of mischievously laughing fillies.
  207. >Smiling to yourself, you put down your groceries and wait.
  208. >Soon enough, you get bombarded from all sides by three small poofballs.
  209. >"Hiya Mr. Anon!" the three chorus at you.
  210. "Hi girls" you say to the three younger siblings currently scaling your body.
  211. >"What'cha up to today Mr. Non?" The littlest apple asks while climbing up your left arm.
  212. "Oh nothing much, just coming back from the market after some shopping."
  213. >"Oh yeah! I see them! Wow Mr. Anon, you really like your apples huh?" Sweetie Belle says falling off your hip and into the bucket.
  214. >"'Course he does! Them's the best apples in all of ponyville! Probably the whole world!" Applebloom boasts, up on your shoulder now.
  215. >You hear the wing beats of a small pegasus or perhaps a large fly behind you before feeling the weight on your back lift off and settle on the top of your head.
  216. >The panting above you lets you know which little bugger is currently roosting on your head.
  217. >"I...win...ohyeah!"
  218. >Yep that's scoots alright.
  219. >The other two had issue with this ruling however.
  220. >"NO FAIR SCOOTALOO!"
  221. >"Yeah we said no wings!"
  222. >"Ahem."
  223. You turn to look where the noise came from and were surprised to find Rarity standing off to the side viewing the little game from under a black umbrella.
  224. >"Girls it is impolite to climb on other ponies with out their permission. Now what do you have to say to Anonymous?"
  225. >"But Anon isn't a pony Ms. Rarity! Hes waaay cooler!"
  226. >"Be that as it may Scootaloo, he still deserves respect. Now I believe you three were going to say something?"
  227. >The three troublemakers jump down from their perches and issue a trio of glum apologies.
  228. "Apologies accepted girls. Now, who wants to go again! You spread out your limbs for better grappling spots ready to accept the second onslaught.
  229. >"OH OH OH ME!" "ME TOO!" "YAY!"
  230. >That was all you heard before being pelted by the little goon squad as they again scale your body.
  231. >You'd think that being small, climbing a six foot man would be a little dangerous for them if they fell, but this worlds wacky cartoon physics kept them from receiving anything more than an "oof" type injury.
  232. >You see Rarity just roll her eyes at you from beneath her fabulous sunglasses.
  233. "I see you're on little tyke duty today, ey Rares?"
  234. >"I would suppose that's one way to put it." she says absentmindedly, scrutinizing your outfit before recoiling.
  235. >"What on earth is that garish ensemble you are sporting anonymous?!"
  236. >You look down in between the competing fillies at your clothes.
  237. "What these? This is just my summer wear so I can stay cooler when its hot out, like today."
  238. >Again Rarity scans your clothes with a repulsed look on her face.
  239. >"Well darling, if that's how you want to dress far be it from me to tell you otherwise."
  240. "Aww it's not THAT bad Rrarara, I mean I know the colors don't match but I don't think it's that offensive."
  241. >The three girls climbing on you giggle at the pet name you gave Rarity.
  242. >"AHEM. Yes well, if you ever find yourself in need of better styled "Summer Wear" I would be happy to oblige."
  243. >"Come along girls, say goodbye to Anonymous. We need to get you fitted for your play costumes."
  244. >A couple of awws greet your ears as one by one the crusaders drop off of you and give your legs goodbye hugs.
  245. >Before leaving, Rare takes another look at you.
  246. >"I was being quite serious Anonymous, I have no issue making you better clothes should you stop by the boutique."
  247. >You give her a little mocking bow in return.
  248. "Well thank you very much Ms. Rarity, I think I'll make an appointment with you later this week if the weather holds up like this."
  249. >"I heard from Rainbow that we aren't to expect any clouds at all for a few more days so I better see you there!"
  250. >She sticks her tongue out at you for the briefest of moments before turning and ushering the three little friends away.
  251. >You smile and wave at them until they get far enough away and pick up your basket and bucket and set out again.
  252. >Looking around you after a while of more walking, you see happy ponies having picnics, playing games in the grass, or just enjoying a good book in the shade. It all puts out a very contagious relaxing vibe.
  253. >Maybe Applejack was right you think, socializing with ponies and getting some sun really isn't that awful and it probably would do you some good to get out of the house.
  254. >Looking up through the canopy of the trees you see that its about midday. Even though you were being shielded from the sun, you start to feel a little tired from today's activities.
  255. >So, you decide to take a little power nap under one of the trees in the park.
  256. >Setting down your food next to you, you lie down with your hands behind your head and close your eyes.
  257. -~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
  258. >You awake to a tapping on your shin.
  259. >Slowly, you open your eyes to see a white hoof poking you.
  260. "Ugh... Rares is that you? What ya need?"
  261. *Crunch*
  262. >Huh, that sounded like an apple bite.
  263. >Wait a minute, that sounded like one of YOUR apples!
  264. >Sitting up on your hands and eyes fully opening, you look at your thief who has stopped poking you.
  265. >Sitting beside your leg is a white pony, but not one you are familiar with.
  266. >This one seems to have short, two tone blue hair poking out from under a worn hoodie
  267. >Beneath that are a pair of striking purple glasses.
  268. >"Sup."

Goodnight Anon

by TiredAsShit

Vinyl shorts: BOOTY BATTLE (Vy and Tav)

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Vinyl shorts: Spoopy Vinyl

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Vinyl shorts: Choco overload

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Vinyl shorts: Bangin till the crack of dawn

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