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V3

By TiredAsShit
Created: 2020-12-18 22:54:21
Expiry: Never

  1. >"You know this clod Pinks?" Vinyl says disdainfully.
  2. "I could ask the same thing."
  3. >Pinkie to her credit, picks up on the animosity immediately and nervously taps her front hooves together.
  4. >"W-whatddya mean guys? Y-you mean you're already super awesome best friends? Hehe...?
  5. >At this, the white annoyance cracks up like that was the funniest shit she ever heard.
  6. >"PFFFT HAHA YEAH RIGHT!"
  7. >Frowning you turn back to your friend.
  8. "Not exactly Pinkie."
  9. >"B-b-but why not?!"
  10. "Lets just say she's just not the kind of pony I want to hang around."
  11. >As she makes her way back to her cart, Vinyl lets out another grating laugh.
  12. >"Hah! Hang around! Like a monkey!"
  13. >Giving Vinyl an unimpressed glance, you turn back to Pinkie who seems to have sadly deflated to the ground.
  14. "You okay there Ponka?"
  15. >"It just makes me reeeeally sad when my friends don't get along Anon." She says dejectedly.
  16. >"Do you think you two could make up? Pleeeeaaaaseee?"
  17. "Hmm, I suppose."
  18. >Perking up at this, Pinkie looks at you hopefully
  19. "All she has to do is apologize."
  20. >Vinyl, trying to hop back up onto the cart snaps her head over to you and looks at you like you just asked her jump off a bridge.
  21. >"For what?!" She says indignantly.
  22. >Giving Pinkie a shrug with your best 'well I tried' face, you walk to the front of the cart.
  23. >"Waitwaitwait! Vyvy why?!"
  24. >Still struggling to get up on her overloaded cart, Vinyl exasperatedly answers her friend.
  25. >"*ugh* Cause he's a buckin *oof* jerk that's *urrh* why. Couldja help me up here Pinks?"
  26. >Picking up the handles attached to the cart has the totally unfortunate consequence of knocking the DJ flat on her bodacious butt.
  27. "Whoopsie! Need a hand there, bottom heavy?"
  28. >Her face goes bright red with embarrassment and fury before she angrily yells at you.
  29. >"N-NO! SHUT UP!"
  30. >Kek
  31. >"N-nonny that wasn't very nice."
  32. >"SEE?! He's a asshole!" Vinyl shouts while violently pointing a hoof at you.
  33. "Oh please, you gonna tell her about how you smacked my shit outta my hands earlier?"
  34. >At this, the white pony ceases her cursing and instead crosses her forehooves and turns her head while blushing slightly.
  35. >"T-that was an accident."
  36. "Really. You accidentally used your magic to pull the apples out of my hands?"
  37. >"Y-yes."
  38. "Well I guess we better get you to a hospital then. You could seriously hurt someone like that."
  39. >"A-anon I don't-"
  40. >Pinkie, desperately trying to get your attention, is fully ignored.
  41. >Hopping up onto her hooves, Vinyl dusts herself off before turning her back on you.
  42. >"Nope I'm fine, my magic must just act up around jerks for some reason. OOPS."
  43. >You feel a tingling sensation on your ankles before your feet are sharply pulled out from beneath you.
  44. "AH! what the fu-"
  45. >You get cut off as your own ass meets dirt this time.
  46. >"V-VINYL?!"
  47. >"Aww gee... yep, must be near a big ol' jerk for that to happen. I wonder who it is."
  48. >You've never assaulted a horse before, but today you might make an exception.
  49. "Alright you annoying little shit, I'm gonna put you in your place." You growl out as you stand.
  50. >Whipping around at sonic speed, Vinyl faces you with a vicious scowl.
  51. >"Just try it you overgrown monkey!" She snarls out, her horn bristling with magic.
  52. >"STOP IT!"
  53. >A deafining cry comes from beside you two from a now very sad and sobbing little pink party pone.
  54. >You and Vinyl awkwardly look at each other, both taken by surprise by the outburst.
  55. >"P-please don't fight..."
  56. >Rubbing the back of your neck awkwardly, you share a glance with Vinyl before walking over to comfort your mutual friend.
  57. "Hey Pinkie, its okay. We just got a little... overheated is all."
  58. >"Uh yeah... sorry Pinkie. We kinda got carried away."
  59. >Sniffing a bit, Pinkie looks up at you two with tear filled eyes.
  60. >"Don't do that again p-please."
  61. "Right, I'm sorry Ponka. It won't happen again."
  62. >Vinyl gives Pinkie a hug while glaring at you.
  63. >"Not that he'd win anyway" She says, sticking her pierced tongue out at you.
  64. >Pinkie only lets out a sad sigh in response.
  65. >"Now if /somepony/ decides not to shake the cart again, we can actually get going." Vinyl says while ending the hug and trotting back over to the cart.
  66. >You choose to watch her from where you are as to avoid any misplaced blame and to not upset your friend any further.
  67. >Seeing her struggle to get on from the front this time you still have trouble containing your laughter.
  68. >It seemed like her butt really did hinder her as she struggled to get aboard.
  69. "Heh, why don't you just walk like a normal pony?"
  70. >Finally managing to clumsily wiggle her way up onto the cart, Vinyl takes a seat between a keyboard and Rainbow and makes a triumphant face before responding.
  71. >"Why do that when I got a /Geld/ to pull me?"
  72. "What does that even mean?"
  73. >"It means you-"
  74. >"OOOOHKAYYYHEYHEYYY! LET'S GOOOO!" Pinkie nervously shouts.
  75. >Pulling a pair of headphones out from somewhere in the pile and slapping them over her ears, Vinyl impatiently shares the sentiment.
  76. >"Yeah c'mon hurry up, lets go already."
  77. >Shrugging, you mosey over and pick up the handles again only slightly jostling the passengers this time, and begin pulling the deceptively light cart along the road.
  78. >Most of the trip to the lake is filled with awkward silence save for the cart's wheels and the slight sound of Vinyl's beats coming from her headphones.
  79. >Pinkie slowly trots next to you instead of her normal excited bouncing with her head and hair drooped low.
  80. >You could tell that she was pretty bummed out about your rather poor relationship with Vinyl.
  81. >How are you going smooth this one over? This won't look good on your friendship report card if it gets out.
  82. "You gonna be okay there Ponka?" You say in your best comforting voice.
  83. >"I guess so Nonny. I just thought you two woulda gotten along better." She says gloomily.
  84. >You didn't like seeing the party pony like this.
  85. >Not only that your friend was sad, but seeing Pinkie Pie this way felt wrong, like something terrible had happened in the universe.
  86. >It felt as if Applejack had lied to your face or if Rainbow told you she didn't really care for the wonderbolts all that much.
  87. >So you felt it was your duty to make this right. Even if it wasn't /really/ your fault.
  88. "Well, I suppose I could try to be friends with her and put all of the earlier stuff behind us, but I don't know if she'd accept."
  89. >Pinkie looks at you with a sad smile.
  90. >"Listen Nonny, I know what you're trying to do, but I really do think you should give her a second chance, but not just for me."
  91. >She gets an uncharacteristically serious look to her face.
  92. >"I think you two could really be good friends, you just might need to give her a little more slack than most ponies."
  93. >"I know she has the habit of... getting on your nerves sometimes, but she's also been having a hard time lately and could really use a friend like you."
  94. >Looking down at the second pony today that just saw right though you, you think to yourself that maybe you weren't as good a lair as you thought.
  95. >"I am Applejack's cousin after all Nonny." She says, with a more jovial grin.
  96. >Or maybe she can just fucking read minds.
  97. >You really hope she can't, because you've had a lot of unchristian thoughts that she could have intercepted, some specifically about her.
  98. >"Whatcha thinkin' bout Nonny?" Pinkie says mischievously, her sadness all but forgotten.
  99. "UH, n-nothing! J-just uh, how friendship is magic and all that!"
  100. >At this, Pinkie just waggles her eye brows at you and pulls ahead regaining her bounce.
  101. >That couldn't have been a coincidence.
  102. >You now no longer think that she's totally innocent.
  103. >Especially now that she was bouncing right in front of you, seemingly oblivious to what she was doing.
  104. >Seeing all that junk in the trunk jiggling around would make a lesser man loose their mind.
  105. >You on the other hand, had crossed that bridge long ago from all the wacky cartoon bullshit that happens around here.
  106. >Awkwardly coughing, you look back at Vinyl to stop yourself from staring only to see her putting on some blue lipstick with her magic, puckering her lips and giving them a few smacks to spread it around.
  107. >Y'know, these ponies were way sexier than they had any right to be. It's not even fair.
  108. >Through sheer force of will, you finally make it to the lake without a major incident happening.
  109. >Thank god you didn't wear board shorts.
  110. >Reaching a good spot on the lakeside in the sand, you stop and set the handles down.
  111. >No sooner had you done this, a streak of blue and rainbow bolts from the cart and into the sky.
  112. >"AWW YEAH LETS PAAAAAAAARTYYYYY!"
  113. >Quickly coming back down to earth, Rainbow Dash looks around expectantly as if she fully expected a party to materialize after she shouted for one.
  114. >"Hey where is everypony? And where's the food an booze?"
  115. "We gotta set up everything first Rainbow."
  116. >"Yeah silly! We just got here!"
  117. >"Aww..."
  118. >"I mean uh, *yawn* oooh boy I'm still beat after flying Anon. *yawn* I should probably get some more rest before the party starts, gotta be 100% y'know?"
  119. >Jamming her hooves into the pile of party supplies, Rainbow pulls out a beach chair, swim trunks of her own, and a pair of sunglasses.
  120. >She quickly throws on her shorts and glasses, jumps on the chair, and pretends to fall asleep. Complete with fake horse snores.
  121. >You look at Pinkie who waves you off with a hoof.
  122. >"Oh don't worry about her Nonny, this party preparation is positively painless!"
  123. >Vinyl hops down from her perch in the cart and gives the side a kick making the sides fold down and wheels pop off, letting the cargo spread out on the now wooden platform.
  124. >"Yup just gotta move some stuff around and plug some things in and we're good to go."
  125. >Looking at the now seemingly destroyed cart, you give Vinyl an incredulous look.
  126. "Why'd you do that?"
  127. >"Ugh, just go set up the food or something." She says, giving you a dismissive wave of her hoof.
  128. >Pinkie zips up beside you and leads you away before you can say anything.
  129. >"Nonny I got the sweets, you should try to get back on her good side, but only if you really want to and feel totally comfortable about it.
  130. >You look back at the unicorn who was currently facing away from you two, messing with her electronics and giving you another nice view of her generous posterior.
  131. >Maybe it was the thirst thinking for you, but you suppose having a friend like Vinyl couldn't be /THAT/ bad.
  132. "Yeah... yeah alright, I'll give it another go Pinkie."
  133. >Pinkie jumps up and gives you a bear hug.
  134. >"YAY! Thankyouthankyouthankyou Nonny! You wont be sorry!"
  135. >"Also I'll tell Twi that you're being really good about your friendship lessons~." She singsongs.
  136. >"Why are you two getting all huggy crazy? I can't get set up till you move the food." Vinyl impatiently says from the cart.
  137. >"Oh sorry Vyvy! I'll get right on it!
  138. >Pinkie leaps out of the hug and pushes you over to Vinyl with blinding speed before yanking out food and drinks from the pile and setting them up on tables in the sand.
  139. "Uh heyyyy..."
  140. >Still messing with her stuff, Vinyl doesn't turn around. Instead letting out a sharp sigh.
  141. >"Yeah?" She says aggravatedly.
  142. "So... I feel that we got off on the wrong foot."
  143. >"Hoof."
  144. "Whatever."
  145. "What say we forget about all that earlier stuff and start over eh?"
  146. >She pauses with her work and turns to look at you through her magenta shades.
  147. >You see her put a hoof to her candy blue lips in thought.
  148. >"Yeah, okay. You just gotta do one thing."
  149. >You have a bad feeling about this.
  150. "What is it..."
  151. >"You just have to say sorry to me." She says with an unnervingly sweet smile on her face.
  152. >Of course.
  153. >Well better get it over with.
  154. "I'm..."
  155. >"Yeeeeeeeeesss?"
  156. >Oh boy she was making this real hard.
  157. >Looking over at Pinkie and her innocently hopeful face gives you the resolve you need to drag the apology out of you.
  158. >The things you do for friendship.
  159. "Sorry. There, you good?"
  160. >Grinning wider, Vinyl shakes her head.
  161. >"I don't think that was totally sincere. Say it again but this time do it hopping on one leg."
  162. "What, are you my three year old sister or something?"
  163. >"Just do it ya big jerk." She says, still wearing her annoying grin.
  164. >Rolling your eyes, you lift your left leg up and start jumping in the sand.
  165. "I... apologize... Vinyl." You say between hops.
  166. >Putting your foot back down, you place your hands on your hips with a bored expression.
  167. "You satisfied?"
  168. >Clearly not, Vinyl's smile dims a little as it seemingly didn't turn out to be humiliating enough for her.
  169. >"I donno... maaayyybe if you also said that you're sorry for being a jerk and-"
  170. >"/Vinyl/." Pinkie pipes up from the food table with a scarily stern tone to her voice.
  171. >Vinyl immediately raises her hooves in protest.
  172. >"Ok ok! I was just jokin'! She says half laughingly half defensively.
  173. >She looks at you for a second before putting her hoof out for you to take, which you do and give it a shake.
  174. >"I was kinda goin for a hoof bump but that works too I guess."
  175. "Ah my bad, it's hard to tell sometimes."
  176. >"No prob dude. Those feel really weird though, I've never actually touched talons before."
  177. "For humans they're called fingers." You say letting go.
  178. >Her gaze lingers on your hand for a second before Pinkie comes back over to report her success.
  179. >"Oki doki I got all the food set up so you can get started on the party boat! YAY!
  180. "Party boat?"
  181. >"She means my cart that I magically change to make it float."
  182. "You can do that? What do you use it for?" You ask in disbelief.
  183. >"I use it to DJ on and for a kind of dance floor on water, pretty sick right?"
  184. "Isn't that kinda risky with all that electronic equipment?
  185. >"Nah its fine, most of it is magic based anyway, at worst It'd probably only get a little soggy."
  186. >Pinkie takes the lull in conversation to announce her plans.
  187. >"Alrighty I'll decorate a bit, you two get the party boat all put together and we'll be all set for the PARTY!"
  188. >And with that, she zooms off with a bunch of supplies and decorations to who knows where.
  189. >Vinyl gives you a tap on your leg to get your attention.
  190. >"C'mon 'Non I could use some help." She says before turning back to the disassembled cart.
  191. >About half an hour goes by and ponies start to trickle in as the sun begins to set over the mountains.
  192. >Pinkie had done a fantastic job with the decorating. She filled the small lake with all sorts of inflatable toys, inner tubes, and pool floats and had set out beach chairs and towels along the shore.
  193. >She had also managed to get Rainbow to help her string lights in between trees over the lake making sure the whole thing was well lit.
  194. >There were also a few fire pits scattered around for if it got too cold out.
  195. >She had thought of pretty much everything.
  196. >Vinyl was busy putting on the finishing touches to her amphibious cart DJ booth dance station thing.
  197. >To you it just looked like a makeshift pontoon boat or raft.
  198. >It was basically a large wooden platform that was made of several interlocking pieces of wood sitting on top of a few floats.
  199. >The whole thing had been covered in a few strings of lights and decorations to match the rest of the party.
  200. >It was big enough for her sound system to be in the middle and surrounded by enough empty space to serve as a floating dance floor.
  201. >It ended up being quite big, and even though it was right on shore it would take a lot of effort to get it into the water.
  202. "You almost done there Vy? The party's about to start soon."
  203. >"Yeah almost 'Non. I just need to plug thiiiiis innn... here!
  204. >With a thunk, the whole mass of her now set up booth hums to life with artificial magic and lights up a nice blue hue.
  205. >"Whaddya think? Pretty tight right?"
  206. >Giving it a once over, you agree with her.
  207. "It is pretty cool in a weird sorta way. How are you gonna get it into the water though? Does the enchantment work on things bolted to it?
  208. >"Nah, this is only like the third time I've done this, but usually a bunch of ponies all help to push the thing in."
  209. >"This time though, I made it even bigger than normal but that wont be a problem cause the princess is gonna use her magic to push it in."
  210. "The Princess? Which one?"
  211. >"Uh, princess Twilight. Duh? Y'know the one that lives here?"
  212. "Oh right. Usually when I hear "Princess" I think of the first three."
  213. >"And why might that be Anonymous?"
  214. >Speak of the devil.
  215. >Turning around, the Purple pony princess stands in front of you in a matching purple one piece swimsuit. Cute.
  216. "Hey Purple Smart, what's up? You say, quickly deflecting.
  217. >At hearing one of your numerous pet names for her, she narrows her eyes in irritation.
  218. >"You know that 'nickname' you gave me annoys me Anon."
  219. >Smiling slightly, you put on your best innocent face.
  220. "Oh I'm terribly sorry Book Horse, how could I have forgotten."
  221. >"You know I /HATE/ that one too Anon!" She says, stomping a hoof in irritation.
  222. >A snicker comes from behind you from Vinyl.
  223. >Time to break out the big guns.
  224. >You suddenly fall to your knees in front of Twilight and put your hands together in mock prayer.
  225. "Oh, you are right again your majesty! Please find it within your heart to forgive this lowly peasant!" You beg, finishing it off with a bow into the sand.
  226. >"*sigh* Anon stop." Twilight says, putting a hoof to her forehead.
  227. "Truly, I have been most insulting to thine status and must pay for my transgressions. How many lashings shall I receive your highness?"
  228. >Vinyl now has her hooves around her sides, belly laughing at your ribbing of Twilight.
  229. >"UGH that doesn't work on me anymore Anon!" The lying flustered princess responds.
  230. >"I'd never do anything like that anyway! That's barbaric!"
  231. >"Not even if you had a coltfriend into that?" Vinyl says mischievously.
  232. >This puts a heavy blush on Twilight who begins stuttering.
  233. >"I-I-I u-um I don't-"
  234. >Oop too far.
  235. >Pulling the little dorky princess into a one armed hug you try to console her.
  236. "Aww relax Twi, we're just fooling with you. You know we don't mean it right?"
  237. >Meeting your hug with one of her own, she sighs again before answering.
  238. >"I don't know if I'll ever get used to your kind of humor Anon."
  239. >Messing with Twilight was one of the simple joys you partook in after you couldn't bother Celestia anymore.
  240. "Well if its any consolation Twi, I do it to the other princesses too when I see them, especially Sunbutt."
  241. >Hearing your name for her teacher, Twilot gives you a thin smile.
  242. >"Careful Anon, remember, that's how you got kicked out of Canterlot in the first place."
  243. >Vinyl's ears perk up at that and she gives you an astounded look.
  244. >"Ooh whaaat? I gotta hear that story."
  245. "Ah, well that's a story for another day."
  246. >"Aww c'mon dude! I gotta hear it now!"
  247. "Nahhh, its pretty long and boring to be honest."
  248. >"He made fun of Princess Celestia's *ahem* rear."
  249. >Vinyl looks down awkwardly at her hooves, wrapping her tail around a flank.
  250. >"O-oh."
  251. "It was in a friendly joking way!"
  252. >"He also did it in front of some nobles."
  253. "They were in on it!"
  254. >"While drunk in the middle of a bender."
  255. "Damn Twi, I don't think there's anything left of me to throw under the bus."
  256. >"And that's why he's here. To learn the value of friendship and how friends act around one another." She says while fixing you with a look.
  257. >Man she's still pissed about that huh.
  258. "See? Long and boring. Okay Twi, go ahead and put that sucker into the water already would you?" You say, quickly gesturing to the large barge of party.
  259. >Twilight gives you a small smug smile.
  260. >"Sure thing anon I'll get right on that."
  261. >Her horn lights up in a purple glow and is closely followed by the raft glowing as well.
  262. >Seemingly effortlessly, she picks up the huge platform and gently moves it over and then onto the water.
  263. >Looking over at Vinyl sitting in the sand, she's wearing a look of pure envy on her face as she is almost transfixed by the show of magical strength.
  264. >After finishing, Twilight turns back to you two.
  265. >"And done! Is there anything else you guys need from me?"
  266. "Uh, nope I think that's about it, thanks Twi."
  267. >"T-thank you princess Twilight."
  268. >"You're very welcome. I also updated the enchantment on the wood so its like brand new! I'll be over by the snacks if you need me for anything else."
  269. >Hungrily eyeing the food tables, your resident demigod leaves you to go demolish the foodstuffs.
  270. >You hope this won't be another hayburger incident or she'd end up as Pudgelight again.
  271. >Knocking you out of your thoughts, Vinyl rouses you with a question.
  272. >"I-Is what she said true about how you made fun of the Princesses b-butt?"
  273. >Lets soften the blow Twilight gave a little bit.
  274. "Wildly embellished, she just has a hard on for her teacher." You say with a flourish of a hand.
  275. >"Gross Anon." She says smiling a bit.
  276. "I know right?"
  277. >"Well I gotta go start the jams, my audience is comin in, wouldn't want to disappoint them."
  278. >Looking around at the rapidly darkening scenery, you see that she's right. Many more ponies are wandering in from town and filling the beach and a few have even ventured into the water.
  279. "Yeah, I think I'm gonna- g-gonna..."
  280. >You trail off as you look back at Vinyl to see her putting on her own swimwear.
  281. >Well, to call it a swimsuit would be like calling a backyard shed a five star hotel, it barely even existed.
  282. >Watching her wiggle her way into what looked like a few pieces of bright red dental floss strung together, made you almost collapse right then and there.
  283. >Seeing her slowly Inch the fabric up her generous pristine globes with her magic could only be described as mesmerizing.
  284. Eventually the shockingly bright red thong comes to a rest in the crack between her fleshy cheeks, almost completely disappearing.
  285. >Oh lord this girl was gonna kill you.
  286. >"You say something 'Non?" Vinyl says, finally turning around to face you.
  287. >After receiving no response save for your staring, she waves a hoof in front of your eyes.
  288. >"Yo, Equestria to Anon, you there?"
  289. >Starting a bit, you regain your focus quickly from the hoof stuck in your face.
  290. "Uh what? What's up?"
  291. >"You ok? you kinda wigged out on me there."
  292. "Oh. Yeah I'm good, sorry."
  293. >Giving you a skeptical look, Vinyl gives you a once over.
  294. >"You sure?"
  295. "Yeah, yeah I'm alright I swear." You say, shaking your head to clear some of the haze.
  296. >She gives you another weird look before, unbeknownst to you, she notices something on your shorts then quickly flits her gaze back up to your face with a mad blush and a smirk.
  297. >"Oh I'd say you're more than alright 'Non. I'll see ya in the lake buddy." She says grinning like a maniac.
  298. >Turning to leave, she brushes her tail against your leg before sauntering off toward her aquatic DJ contraption.
  299. >You watch her go as she lazily swings her hips down the beach, getting peeks of the red thong in between steps.
  300. >You loose sight of your eye candy as she jumps behind her equipment, getting ready for her set.
  301. >Did she always walk like that? And what did she mean by 'more than alright'?
  302. >Looking down in thought, you see in your peripheral vision what she surely noticed.
  303. >Little anon had come out to play, bulging noticeably against your shorts.
  304. >Aw shit, well that's horrifyingly embarrassing.
  305. >Quickly adjusting yourself, you look around to see if anyone else had noticed.
  306. >Luckily, it seems you were in the clear.
  307. >Looking over at the barge, your worst fears are realized as you are met with Vinyl looking right at you with a hoof over her mouth in suppressed laughter.
  308. >Well there's no denying it now, she definitely caught a good glimpse of your dick. Fuck.
  309. >Heat immediately rushes to your face in shame. You quickly break eye contact with her and hurriedly walk over to the refreshment table.
  310. >DAMMIT! you thought you were done making a fool of yourself in highschool!
  311. >Well to be honest, you don't think you've ever stopped spilling spaghetti, this was just the latest incident.
  312. >Great, now you're thinking of those other fun times.
  313. >Sighing to yourself, you make a beeline for the drinks table.
  314. >You hear from behind you a microphone being switched on before hearing the familiar voice of the teasing DJ.
  315. >"ALRIGHT EVERYPONY! YOU READY TO GET WILD?!"
  316. >After a loud YEAH from the crowd, electronic music starts pumping out of the speakers.
  317. >Club music was never really your thing but hey, at least its not as obnoxious as some of the stuff back home.
  318. >Making your way over to the tables, you have to push through ponies at this point as the party is in mostly full swing now.
  319. >Ponies are dancing and laughing about, playing games and having fun with their friends, a few look your way but most ignore you as you make your way around them.
  320. >Finally reaching the refreshments, you look for the strongest bottle in the bar.
  321. >Pony alcohol was notoriously weak, so when you find a bottle of griffon vodka near the back, you nab that sucker like a flatscreen on blackfriday.
  322. >They wont miss it, most ponies can't really handle anything over 60 proof anyhow unless its mixed.
  323. >"Howdy Anon! Glad to see you made it!" A voice says over the sound of music behind you.
  324. >Turning around with bottle in hand, you find the orange apple mare trotting up to you holding some pie.
  325. "Hey Applejack, yep I'm here."
  326. >"Ah'm glad tah hear it." She says, taking a bite of what must certainly be apple pie.
  327. >Let that be the end of the conversation please.
  328. >"So yah meet anyone new?"
  329. >Damn it all.
  330. "Uh, actually yeah I did! She's great!" You awkwardly smile.
  331. >Applejack beams at you.
  332. >"Well that's just swell Anon! Who is she?"
  333. >You point over to the party boat blasting beats, which now had sky beams shooting out from it into the night sky.
  334. "The DJ over there."
  335. >Applejack squints over where you pointed and spots Vinyl gyrating along with her music.
  336. >"Gah-lee! If she wore those any tighter ah could see her religion!" Letting out a whistle.
  337. "Hahah... I guess you could say that. You say, nervously shifting your weight.
  338. >Giving you a sideways glance, she smirks a little.
  339. "W-what? Why are you looking at me like that?"
  340. >The smile doesn't leave her face as she swallows another bite of pie.
  341. >"Don't mind me none Anon, ain't nothin tah worry about."
  342. >Wiping her muzzle with the back of her hoof, she then points to the bottle in your hand.
  343. >"Say... whatchu doing with that there?
  344. >Looking down at the Vodka you think up something quickly. Saying you were going to drink it all yourself might not be the smartest thing to say.
  345. "I was taking this over to Vinyl, she forgot to get her own." You say, throwing a thumb back over to the party barge.
  346. "Annnd maybe enjoy a little myself." You add, not wanting to set off her honesty radar.
  347. >She couldn't differentiate between half truths could she?
  348. >"Hmm, well be careful with that stuff there Anon, it's mighty strong."
  349. "For you ponies maybe." You say, with a smirk of your own now.
  350. >Snorting in amusement, the farm pony gives you a competitive stare.
  351. >"Fer most of these soft hooves maybe, but if'n you feel like a challenge, come find me later."
  352. >"Go on now, I think I've taken enough of yer time." She says, with a little nod to the lake before turning to the drink table.
  353. >Letting out a sigh of relief, you make your way through the even larger mass of partying ponies again.
  354. >Weaving through ponies, you manage only to bump a few before getting closer to the lake.
  355. >You start to really hear and feel the music now as it thumps through your body harder and harder with each step you take.
  356. >Reaching the shore, ponies are a little less concentrated here and you're able to have some semblance of breathing room.
  357. >Stepping into the warm shallows, you sigh in contentment as the water meets your legs.
  358. >Ahh... yeah, this is what you needed.
  359. >Cracking open your bottle, you take a nice swig of it letting it sit on your tongue for a second before swallowing.
  360. >Its pretty good as far as straight vodka was concerned, although taste mattered little to you right now.
  361. >Feeling water splashing against you, you look left to see the town's resident princess apparently having a seizure in the water.
  362. >This would alarm you if you had never seen her dance before, but anyone who knew Twilight well enough knew not to get too close to her on the dance floor or they might loose an eye.
  363. >Chuckling to yourself at the display, you step further into the lake, leaving the peculiar partying princess behind.
  364. >Picking up an inner-tube and putting it on, you float farther into the lake until you reach an even less populated area.
  365. >Listlessly floating under the starry night sky, you take another healthy gulp from the bottle, letting the beats flow through you.
  366. >Maximum comfy achieved, you go back to your new favorite pastime, shamelessly ogling Vinyl.
  367. >Back on the party boat, Vinyl had backed away from her equipment and was dancing like no one was watching.
  368. >Seeing her move to the beat so effortlessly, with glow-sticks hanging on to her for dear life, completely captivated you.
  369. >She was graceful, matching her steps and swings perfectly to the beat.
  370. >Gone was the pony who barely bumbled her way onto the cart, replaced by this artful pony seamlessly dancing to her music as if she had done it a thousand times before.
  371. >How different you two were you think.
  372. >Her, the life of the party, totally lost in the music, and you, some drunk weirdo drooling over her in the back.
  373. >You didn't even know how to dance properly, the only thing you knew how to do were reload animations.
  374. >God you were hopeless.
  375. >Then, she looks your way.
  376. >Oop, she spotted you.
  377. >Looking at you in the water, the DJ attempts to get your attention by yelling over the sound of music.
  378. >"Hey 'Non!"
  379. >You get a sinking feeling in your gut. She probably just wants to fuck with you.
  380. >"YO ANON!" She says giving you a wave.
  381. >Facing away from her, you take another sip from the bottle, pretending you can't hear her.
  382. >"DUDE C'MON I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!"
  383. >She is now frantically waving at you to try and get your attention.
  384. >Which you casually ignore, hoping she'd just give up.
  385. >"Oh for bucks sake!" She exclaims.
  386. >You hear a splash from beside you over the music.
  387. >Curiously turning toward the noise, you see Vinyl dog paddling her way over to you with her glow sticks and glasses still stuck on her.
  388. >Aww great here it comes.
  389. >Vinyl grabs a pool noodle and kicks her way the rest of the way over to you.
  390. >"Uh dude? I know you could hear me just now, what the buck?" She says, reaching you and slightly bumping off of your innertube.
  391. "Sorry uh... Vinyl. I mighta been a little preoccupodo...ed."
  392. >Man, you might be more gone than you thought. You were all mush mouthy.
  393. >"Oh you just got the party started without me, heh, what'cha got there anyway?" She says, magicing the bottle out of your hands.
  394. "Eh I donno... some vodka."
  395. >She looks at it for a second before gazing back at you half shocked half impressed.
  396. >"Damn! You went through half a bottle of Grey Griffon?!"
  397. >You give her a little shrug.
  398. "I guess so."
  399. >"Shit, I got some real competition now! And here I was thinkin' you were too embarrassed to talk to me cuz a that boner earlier." she says, putting her candy blue lips to the bottle.
  400. >You say nothing, but you still feel your face heat up again anyway.
  401. >Unfortunately catching on to your silence, Vinyl gets her dumb cheekyass grin back.
  402. >Grabbing the side of your innertube, she pulls herself close enough you could smell her warm blueberry tinted breath.
  403. >"Ooh you /were/ weren't you? Well if I knew you were into me that much, maybe I woulda given you a better show, get you really goin."
  404. "s-sorry."
  405. "Sorry for what? It's not your fault your body couldn't resist my sexiness." She says, striking a pose in the water to accentuate her point.
  406. >You try to say something, /anything/ but all you manage to do is stutter a bit, your face practically on fire.
  407. >Rolling her eyes, Vinyl changes her predatory grin to a more kind smile.
  408. >"As cute as this is, you gotta loosen up a bit more if you're gonna have any fun. We can't have you all awkward the whole night!"
  409. >Cutely screwing her face up in concentration, Vinyl lights up her horn with a tinkle.
  410. >Off in the distance, a cooler floats up from the raft and bobs and weaves through ponies now swarming the lake.
  411. >Once it gets over to you two, Vinyl pops the top open and pulls out a few colorful looking bottles and two shot glasses.
  412. >"Check this out."
  413. >Skillfully manipulating the bottles with her magic, she spins and twirls them around pouring both of you a drink.
  414. "Damn, that was real cool." You say, finally finding your voice.
  415. >"Heh, damn right it was, I do that every time I make these." She says, giving you one of the familiarly two tone blue drinks.
  416. >"I call em the 'Scratch!"
  417. "Modest aren't you." You deadpan.
  418. >"Well I invented them sooo... what the buck else was I supposed to call em?" She shrugs.
  419. >"Oh yeah can't forget these." She says, magically plopping a little white pill into both drinks and then slamming hers down.
  420. "Whoah wait a minute, what is that?"
  421. >"What is what?"
  422. "What did you put in the drinks?" You say, pointing to the little white pill at the bottom of the glass.
  423. >"Oooh that, that's just a little something to get you to loosen up."
  424. "Is it safe?"
  425. >"Uh duh? Didn't you just see me pound mine down?"
  426. >You look at your glass uncertainly.
  427. >Vinyl snorts in your face and puts out her hoof
  428. >"Well if you're gonna be a puss about it then just give it to me. I could use another one."
  429. >Fuck it. You ain't no pussy, not like any of this pony shit could even get you fucked up anyway.
  430. >You quickly down the shooter and are met with a sickly sweet taste.
  431. >It tasted like blueberry and raspberry syrup mixed with fucking grain alcohol.
  432. >You cough a little not expecting the drink to hit you like that.
  433. >"Atta boy 'Non, now we can really get this party started." Vinyl says, as she magics the bottles and glasses back into the cooler.
  434. >"Cmon I gotta go put another song on, follow me."
  435. >Following Vinyl back into the more shallow and much more crowded part of the lake, you notice how easily she's able to slip through ponies like they weren't even there.
  436. >Even with her generous assets it was like she was born to weave through crowds.
  437. >As for you though, you keep bumbling into ponies left and right before loosing sight of her entirely and getting stuck in the middle of a noodle joust.
  438. >Man, that booze must have just caught up with you, you think as you narrowly stumble out of a wild swing that almost knocks you over.
  439. >Stepping out of the line of fire, you try to find Vinyl in the literal sea of ponies as your head begins swimming.
  440. >Jostling through talking and laughing ponies, you try to find her trademark blues in this moving pastel world you now live in.
  441. >Everything is starting to feel real loose all of a sudden, nice and comfortable.
  442. >Didn't she say she was going to change songs?
  443. >Right then, you feel your hand go tingly as someone starts pulling on it with their magic.
  444. >Over the din of the strangely loud music and the chatter of pones, you hear the familiar voice of the DJ calling you.
  445. >Looking over to the boat, you see her yelling something at you.
  446. >Next thing you know, you're on the boat apparently doing your patented reload animations.
  447. >Then you're knocking some pony off their raft into the water with a noodle.
  448. >Now you're stuffing food into your mouth as if you'd been starved.
  449. >You're holding a few laughing ponies under your arms.
  450. >A sharp thud hits your chest and then your back and you're out.
  451.  
  452. >Ugh your head hurts...
  453. >Blood feels like its pounding your head apart.
  454. >Harsh Sunlight is trying to fight its way through your eyelids.
  455. >At least your pillow is nice and squishy...
  456. >You try to burrow deeper into it to escape the oppressive sun.
  457. >You probably had to go to work soon, shit.
  458. >Pushing your face into the delightfully comfortable cushion, you hear a snore come from above you.
  459. >Weird, you don't have any roommates anymore...
  460. >Then everything comes back to you.
  461. >Equestria, making it big, Sunbutt, Ponyville, the girls, the lake party, Vinyl-
  462. >Vinyl... that crazy horse, what the hell happened last night?
  463. >Pushing yourself up off of your pillow and wiping some drool off your mouth, you crack your eyes open to find yourself in your newest home in Ponyville.
  464. >Alright at least you're safe at home and not in an alley somewhere.
  465. >Hearing another snore, you look down this time to see your partner in crime herself, face down in your living room carpet right below you.
  466. >Your pillow it seems, was none other than her tremendous ass, still clad in her skimpy swimsuit.
  467. >In your attempt to push yourself up, you had inadvertently spread one of her cheeks aside giving you a small glimpse at the treasures beneath.
  468. >Quickly moving your hand, you painfully remove yourself from the beautiful sight, before slowly standing up.
  469. >You feel a few pops in your back as you straighten out and feel your chest protest in pain.
  470. >Ouch... it felt like someone gave you a good crack in the chest with a bat or something.
  471. >Fuck... you need some coffee.
  472. >Stumbling over to the kitchen, you fumble with the cabinets until you remember where the ground coffee is.
  473. >Throwing it into your fancy little coffee maker, you let it simmer and rest your torso on the cool countertop and close your eyes.
  474. >Soon, the machine dings, waking you from your little nap.
  475. >Grabbing your cup from it, you go to take a sip before you almost fall, catching yourself on the counter before you crack your skull open.
  476. >Seems like your motor functions are still impaired from last night, so you opt to just sit on the floor with your back against the lower cabinets under the counter.
  477. >Taking the first sip of your heavenly drink you don't even care that it burns your tongue a bit and let out a relaxed sigh.
  478. >Back in the living room, Vinyl is starting to come around. Eventually smelling the bean juice of the gods, her eyes open and look to the kitchen.
  479. >Struggling up onto her front hooves first, and then her shaking rear ones, she gradually staggers over to the wonderful smells coming from the kitchen.
  480. >Hearing the clip clop of hooves on tile next to you, you expertly deduce that your sleepover buddy is awake.
  481. >Looking over at the disheveled pony you suppress a small chuckle at her appearance as you probably look the same if not worse.
  482. >Huh, you never really noticed her eyes before. Probably since they were always behind her glasses, but she's got some astonishingly bright red ones.
  483. >Said eyes are now eyeing your coffee cup. Which you just roll your own pair at.
  484. "If you- *cough*
  485. >That's all you get out as the amount of gross in your mouth and throat makes you go into a small coughing fit.
  486. >Fuck that's nasty. You'll probably have to gurgle with bleach to get all that sick out of you.
  487. >Feeling something jabbing you in the side, you look over again at the messy pony currently poking you with her horn.
  488. "What." You croak out.
  489. >Plopping her big ol butt down next to you, she shivers a bit as the cold tile meets her jiggly rear and meaningfully nods her head at your drink.
  490. "Make your own."
  491. >The extremely hungover pony gives you the saddest most pathetic look you've ever seen on any creature.
  492. >Her big red eyes shimmering with blossoming tears, threatening to spill out and a messy blue lower lip trembling.
  493. >It was too much. Like weapons grade cute, the kind that's outlawed in almost all nations back home.
  494. >Seeing as you be only a mortal man, you really had no chance to stand against it.
  495. >Sighing you pass over your mug into her outstretched white hooves.
  496. >Gleefully taking the cup from you, Vinyl immediately starts sipping on the black beverage with a very content look on her face.
  497. >Scooting over, she presses herself against your side to share some of your warmth.
  498. >She begins to hum a slow song as she drinks your coffee, sounding like a musical purr of contentedness.
  499. >You two sit on the floor and simply enjoy each others company for awhile, the only sound coming from Vinyl's humming.
  500. >Taking a few more aggressive gulps, Vinyl audibly swallows before letting out another long hum.
  501. >"Mmmmmmmm~"
  502. >This damn pony is too cute and lewd for her own good.
  503. >She then lets out a very loud belch before snorting what sounds like ten pounds of snot out of her nose.
  504. >The moment thoroughly ruined, you reach over and take the now mostly empty cup before Vinyl goes rigid.
  505. >All of a sudden, her eyes go wide.
  506. >Scrambling to her hooves, she begins panicking.
  507. >"Aw buck! Buck! Buck! BUCK!"
  508. >And with that, she bolts out of the kitchen and out the front door leaving you in a confused haze
  509. "What in the goddamn...?"

Goodnight Anon

by TiredAsShit

Vinyl shorts: BOOTY BATTLE (Vy and Tav)

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Vinyl shorts: Spoopy Vinyl

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Vinyl shorts: Choco overload

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Vinyl shorts: Bangin till the crack of dawn

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