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/k/ Anon & Spider Shim: A Very/k/ammando Christmas

By Spiderbloke2099
Created: 19th December 2020 12:28:19 AM
Modified: 3rd May 2021 06:04:58 AM
Christmas capeshit

  1. >It's Christmas Eve and you are Anon.
  2. >It's also somewhere around 11 o'clock, But you can't quite fall asleep.
  3. >Not because of the last nocturnal problem you had.
  4. >Those cheeky grey fuckwits haven't bothered you since you held one of them at gunpoint.
  5. >No, tonight you can't sleep because last Christmas some fine upstanding gentleman broke into you and Sunset's apartment, stole the presents you left under the tree, broke a crowbar on your gun safe, and took a steaming shit right in your coffee maker.
  6. >And the two of you slept right through it.
  7. >So this year you're camped out right next to the fire escape with a Mossberg Shockwave loaded with some birdshot and one of Pinkie's special "cupcake shells", whatever those are.
  8. >The chair you've been sitting in is a bit too comfy and you feel yourself drifting off.
  9. >With a snort you jump up as a blast of icy wind cuts through your half-opened bathrobe.
  10. >Through the darkness of the room you see a shadow moving by the tree.
  11. >Rasing the totally legal non-SBS, you command the shape.
  12. "Stop whatever it is your doing, turn around, and put your hands behind your head."
  13. >The shape chuckles, jiggling slightly.
  14. "I said turn around, fatso!"
  15. >The rotund shadow rises, still chuckling.
  16. >"You know that pointing a shotgun at someone is a naughty thing to do, Anon!"
  17. "Yeah, well so is breaking and entering."
  18. >The fat shadow turns and gives a full belly laugh.
  19. >"So it is, Anon."
  20. >You almost drop the Shockwave.
  21. >Standing before you is Chris Kringle himself.
  22. >And you're holding the jolly old elf at gunpoint.
  23. "Fuck."

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