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/k/ Anon & Spider Shim: A Very/k/ammando ChristmasBy Spiderbloke2099
Created: 19th December 2020 12:28:19 AM
Modified: 3rd May 2021 06:04:58 AM
- >It's Christmas Eve and you are Anon.
- >It's also somewhere around 11 o'clock, But you can't quite fall asleep.
- >Not because of the last nocturnal problem you had.
- >Those cheeky grey fuckwits haven't bothered you since you held one of them at gunpoint.
- >No, tonight you can't sleep because last Christmas some fine upstanding gentleman broke into you and Sunset's apartment, stole the presents you left under the tree, broke a crowbar on your gun safe, and took a steaming shit right in your coffee maker.
- >And the two of you slept right through it.
- >So this year you're camped out right next to the fire escape with a Mossberg Shockwave loaded with some birdshot and one of Pinkie's special "cupcake shells", whatever those are.
- >The chair you've been sitting in is a bit too comfy and you feel yourself drifting off.
- >With a snort you jump up as a blast of icy wind cuts through your half-opened bathrobe.
- >Through the darkness of the room you see a shadow moving by the tree.
- >Rasing the totally legal non-SBS, you command the shape.
- "Stop whatever it is your doing, turn around, and put your hands behind your head."
- >The shape chuckles, jiggling slightly.
- "I said turn around, fatso!"
- >The rotund shadow rises, still chuckling.
- >"You know that pointing a shotgun at someone is a naughty thing to do, Anon!"
- "Yeah, well so is breaking and entering."
- >The fat shadow turns and gives a full belly laugh.
- >"So it is, Anon."
- >You almost drop the Shockwave.
- >Standing before you is Chris Kringle himself.
- >And you're holding the jolly old elf at gunpoint.