/k/ Anon and Spider Shimm 3 (Date night)


                                            >You are Anon.

                                            >IT, /k/ommando, and boyfriend to Sunset Shimmer, the Spectacular Spider-Woman!

                                            >And today you are at home cleaning your guns.

                                            >Normally you clean them when you come home from the range, but today you have nothing else to do, and Sunset is off doing hero stuff.

                                            >So you are doing some maintenance that may or may not be necessary, but whatever.

                                            >Like usual, you have the news on for background noise.

                                            >Not like with the twenty-four-hour news cycle they often have anything important to say.

                                            >Though the occasional "breaking story" can be a bit of a laugh now and then.

                                            >Like that time a meth-head held up a convenience store with a rubber chicken and not relenting until the cops gave him a loaf of stale pumpernickel and three cartons of half smoked cigarettes.

                                            >Even Sunset thought that was somewhat funny as no one was severely wounded.

                                            >Though, the cashier was smacked around just a bit.

                                            >Still better than whatever the hell the anchor is droning on about now.

                                            >"... And now live from the scene, we go to Juniper Montage, our reporter on the scene. Juniper?"

                                            "Oh, for fuck's sake, if it's another goddamn super-powered lunatic with delusions of grandeur..."

                                            >Reaching over, you turn up the volume a touch more and return to your legal and "COMPLIANT" FN FAL, curious to see where this is going.

                                            >"Thank you, Norman. From where we can safely film you can't see much, but just a few minutes ago, Doc Oct and Spider-Woman engaged in what appears to be some form of super-powered cat-fight."

                                            "GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!"

                                            >Can't a week go by without some megalomaniac trying to kill, maim, wound, hunt, or otherwise fight your girlfriend?!

                                            >Seriously this shit is getting /really/ fucking old.

                                            >"Spider-Woman has been thrown into the apartment complex on Fifth and Tenth. She doesn't seem to be getting back up."

                                            >At this point you've finished reassembling your FAL, and have gone into your room.

                                            >Time to get your tactical Short-shorts.


                                            >One quick outfit change, and you are ready to go.

                                            >Desiding that discretion is the better part of valor, on top of the Rhodie shorts, your FAL, the Jewish-space-weeb gun that your brother got you, and a decent plate carrier, you also grab the GP-5 you bought when you used to go "urban exploring."

                                            >And with your identity concealed, you head to the intersection of Fifth and Tenth.

                                            >About half way to the door you remember that you aren't fucking magic, grab a couple of extra mags, some ear pro, and your keys, then hop in your car, and /then/ head to the intersection of Fifth and Tenth.

                                            >Parking a good block away, you tactically make your way to the scene.

                                            >Seeing what has happened, you almost regret taking so much time.

                                            >The amount of destruction has gone from what you would normally expect from Sunset's usual villains, to full on Hulk status.

                                            >When you peak around the corner, you see why.

                                            >It seems that five different villains have teamed up to take down Sunset. Vulture, Doc Oct, Electro, Mysterio, and Shocker.

                                            >Taking as deep of a breath as you can while wearing a gas mask, you line up your first target.

                                            >Picking the one that could be the biggest danger later, you slowly squeeze the trigger, careful not to jerk, or attempt to compensate for recoil.

                                            >Your patience is rewarded by a loud crack, a stream of blood, and a comparatively quieter, though still quite noisy, scream of pain, as Doc Oct's tentacles begin to spasm violently, knocking Doc Oct to the ground, and pinning Vulture's left wing to the ground.

                                            >The Sound doesn't go unnoticed, but you were counting on that, as the remaining combatants clutch their bleeding ears.

                                            >Well every one of them but Mysterio, who just slaps her hands to either side of her helmet, and Shocker who is wearing some seriously powerful headphones.

                                            >Vulture finally gets out from under Doc Oct's still writhing tentacles.

                                            >"Where the hell did that shot come from!?"

                                            >The temporary deafness seems to have worn off, as Mysterio answers.

                                            >"The Great and Powerful Mysterio would also like to know. As she hasn't made it onto Punisher's hit list yet, at least she hopes so."

                                            >Electro is the next to try to figure out who you are.

                                            >"It sure as hell couldn't be Deadpool, he'd have started gloating by now."

                                            >Time to make your next shot.


                                            >Another well-placed shot and Electro drops as the round punches through her right thigh, likely grazing the bone.

                                            >"GODFUCKINGDAMNIT!"

                                            >Two down, three to go.

                                            >Shocker, finally figuring out where you've been shooting from, sends a sonic blast at your cover.

                                            >You feel the surge of adrenalin as you duck behind what's left of a wall.

                                            >Using the window opposite you, you peak around your new cover, just in time to see Vulture take to the sky.

                                            >"Come on out you freak. I promise I'll only hit you around a little bit."

                                            >You carefully get into a position to make your next shot.

                                            >Shocker's headphones shatter as the bullet rips them off her head, taking some hair and a small piece of her earlobe with them.

                                            >She clutches the side of her head, covering her ear.

                                            >"Those were my best set you jackass!"

                                            >Shocker raises her fists, aiming the sonic gauntlets at you.

                                            >Too late for her though, you've lined up your next shot.

                                            >The slight squeeze of your finger sends another bullet through the barrel.

                                            >And straight into her right bicep.

                                            >Another shot goes into the other arm.

                                            >Three down.

                                            >You are feeling pretty good about yourself at this point.

                                            >And probably because you are, Vulture drops down on top of your FAL, here she proceeds to kick you square in the face.

                                            >"How did you like that, you dweeb?"

                                            >Cocky bitch.

                                            "That's my fourth favorite gun, you whore."

                                            >The smirk on her face morphs into a scowl.

                                            >"What did you just call me?!"

                                            >Vulture slowly stalks towards you.

                                            >Now it's your turn to smirk.

                                            >By the time she's close enough to lash out at you, you've drawn your Jericho.

                                            >She punches at your face, only for you to catch her fist in your left hand, and put a nine-millimeter diameter bullet in her elbow.

                                            >Her cry of pain is interrupted as you slam the grip of your pistol into her temple, dropping her.

                                            >Four down.

                                            >You walk forward and collect your rifle.

                                            >A quick inspection shows that the furniture has some scratches, though they are mostly cosmetic.

                                            >More importantly, the barrel has been bent and will need replacing.

                                            >You want to put another bullet in Vulture, but you still have another combatant in the area.

                                            >Steping back into the street, you see that Mysterio hasn't left the spot she was standing in while you were dealing with Vulture.

                                            "AVE CUBUS CRUOR!"

                                            >At your rather forceful proclamation, Mysterio sprints away from you and right into a wall.

                                            >As you approach Sunset, she begins to stir.

                                            >You help Sunset to her feet, then tactically exfiltrate just before the cops decide to enter the area.