k/ Anon and Spider Shimm 4 (Anon makes a new friend)


                                            >You are Anon, /k/omando, and fiance of Sunset Shimmer the Spectacular Spider-woman!

                                            >Oh! And you may or may not be a superhero.

                                            >So that’s kinda cool.

                                            >But all of that goes out the window at night.

                                            >Because for the last month and a half you’ve been visited by the creepiest little shits this side of the Andromeda galaxy.

                                            >Fucking Greys.

                                            >The ass raping little monsters have been trying to sneak into your apartment while you and Sunset are asleep.

                                            >Fortunately for you, and unfortunately for them, you are a light sleeper and Sunset’s usually out until after they leave.

                                            >But tonight Sunset took the night off to spend it with you.

                                            >Because of how nervous you are, you’re cleaning your guns.

                                            >While you’ve managed to keep the exact source of your worries secret from Sunset, not wanting to seem insane, she has figured out that something has you on edge.

                                            >”Anon, what’s going on? You've cleaned every gun you own five times.”

                                            >You haven’t cleaned /every/ gun you own, just the ones that aren’t at your parent’s place in Kingman.

                                            “A, uh, co-worker had their house broken into a couple of days ago.”

                                            >Yeah that sounds plausible enough.

                                            >”How awful! Who was it?”

                                            >Shit.

                                            “Uh, fuck, what’s his name? Greg? The fat-ish guy from accounting.”

                                            >Sunset just gives you a deadpan stare.

                                            >”Anon, you’re worse than Applejack when it comes to lying. Now tell the truth, what’s got you so wound up?”

                                            >You sigh, shaking your head.

                                            “Fine, just give me a chance to say my bit fully before you say that I’m losing my mind first okay?”

                                            >Sunset gives you a nervous look but otherwise remains silent.

                                            “Over the last month or so something’s been getting into the apartment. It usually happens while you’re out, and when I’m sleeping. Or when they think I’m sleeping.”

                                            >Sunset seems unsettled.

                                            >”Anon, what exactly’s been going on?”

                                            >All you can do is sigh.

                                            “Sunset, just… just promise me you won’t think I’ve lost it.”

                                            >She just looks at you, a mix of pity and concern on her face.

                                            >”I promise, Anon. Now please, I don’t know how to help if you won't tell me exactly what’s happening.”

                                            >You take a deep breath.

                                            “Small, bug-eyed, grey, ass raping alien’s have been breaking into our apartment while you’re out patrolling New York for the last month.”

                                            >”Okaaay, and what have they been doing?”

                                            “Usually just staring at me from the hallway until they figure out that I’m watching them back. Though they seem to be getting braver, for the last week they’ve kept watching me until I start moving.”

                                            >At this point Sunset gets a thoughtful expression on her face.

                                            >”How long does it take you to start moving, usually?”

                                            “Maybe a minute, why?”

                                            >Sunset smiles.

                                            >”I think I might have a plan.”


                                            >Later that night you’re laying in bed, with your 1887 laying under the blankets right next to you.

                                            >It’s not exactly part of the plan, but you’re going to do anything to keep your anal virginity intact.

                                            >Sunset’s wearing all black and clinging to the roof.

                                            >Honestly if it weren’t for the high possibility that you’re going to have to fight some ayys, you’d probably find her current outfit kinda sexy.

                                            >Even with the adrenaline pumping through your veins, you’re starting to feel tired.

                                            >A long day of freaking the fuck out really takes it out of you.

                                            >Just as you begin to feel your eyelids droop, the door starts to open slowly.

                                            >And just like every night before, you can see the short prick staring at you, looking straight in the eyes.

                                            >Then it looks up, right at where Sunset’s hiding.

                                            >The door slams shut, then swings back open showing the hall beyond.

                                            >What little you can see is empty.

                                            >But you can hear the bastard struggling to lift the window.

                                            >Sunset’s webbing seems to be holding quite well.

                                            >An almost inaudible twip tells you that Sunset’s found the window they used to enter.

                                            “YOU HEAR THAT?! YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!”

                                            >The little gray monster rushes by the end of the hall, just fast enough that you can’t get a clear shot.

                                            >You can hear a series of soft thumps, almost like a child lightly slapping a door.

                                            >Approaching the corner you peak around it.

                                            >The Gray is standing in front of the door, pounding it’s tiny fists against the not-so-thick wood of the door.

                                            >It almost makes you feel sorry for the prick.

                                            >Almost.

                                            >Careful not to make a sound, you get right behind the alien and place the muzzle of the lever gat against the flesh of its big gay head.

                                            “Don’t fucking move.”

                                            >The little gray home invader bleats pathetically.

                                            “You broke into my home, watched me sleep like some kind of extraterrestrial pervert, and made me feel like a paranoid idiot. Normally I’d put a hole in you and sell your corpse to the highest bidder. But since my fiance is here I’ll cut you a deal, you and your bastard friends leave and never come back, and I won’t paint my front door with your brains, capisce?”

                                            >The gray space-midget bleats once again.

                                            “Glad we’ve come to an understanding.”

                                            >You reach past its head and unlock the door, letting it out.

                                            >It rushes out, not stopping until it reaches the elevator.

                                            >The little prick hits the up button and scrambles in once the doors open.

                                            >You keep watching until the elevator doors close.

                                            >Turning around and closing the door Sunset drops down from the ceiling and pulls you into a hug.