- >You awake to, what a surprise, the sun in your face.
- >You grumble as you rise from your slumber.
- >That sun has ruined your fun for far too long.
- >Gentleman? How do we kill the sun?
- >You know the sun personally.
- >You probably have a sexual assault case on the sun.
- >You guess you could travel to Canterlot, fight off all her guards, no doubt have to fight her sister, and then actually kill her to remove the sun.
- >...
- >That sounds like a crazy amount of work.
- >You look at your clock; 12:15.
- >That is way too much work for this hour on your day off.
- >Why the fuck were you up anyway? You weren't scheduled to come in today.
- >You lay your head back on your pillow and begin to drift off to sleep again...
- >You are interrupted by a trio of bangs on your door.
- >"Yo! Mous! Wake up man!"
- >You throw yourself out of bed and make for the door.
- >You consider caving Anon's head in with a nearby model before you open the door.
- >No...
- >Learn what he wants first, then bash his brains in with a Scout Titan.
- >You swing open the door and give him your best glare.
- >"WHAT!?"
- >He jumps back at your sudden outburst, but a smile is quick to form on his face.
- >"Good morning to you too, dude." he says with a giggle.
- >If your glare could kill someone, it would be doing it now.
- >You bring yourself back from the simmering rage you were at.
- >"What. Do you want. Anon." you spit out.
- >You've known him for over a decade, he better fucking know you hate waking up by now.
- >He leans against the wall and grins at you.
- >"I was wondering if you wanted to go to town with me today, we're both off and I have some shit to do." he says.
- >"Get Rainbow to go."
- >Maybe that pegasus could finally come out and fucking say it and these two would leave you to sleep all day in peace.
- >"Rainbow is in Cloudsdale for till tomorrow, just you and me." he retorts.
- >Silence falls in the hallway as you bury your face in your hand.
- >Anon eventually speaks up again.
- >"C'mon bro, please?"
- >Damn his eyes. He knew you were gonna fold.
- >You really wanted to sleep in.
- >But hanging out with Anon would be cool.
- >"The last time we hung out together, I got mauled."
- >"So think of how easy it will be to do better than that!" he says spreading his arms wide.
- >You peek through your hand to glare at him.
- >His smile is still wide as a mile.
- >"...give me a half hour."
- >Anon crosses his arms and rolls his eyes. "Slowpoke."
- >You'd punch him or something, but you were already on your way to the kitchen.
- >You pick through your cupboards, what was there to eat here?
- >Fruit? No. Applejacks are still not proven safe. Gorilla Munch isn't fit for dogs.
- >You knew what you needed to get you through this.
- >Some mother bucking pancakes.
- >You were amazed that the ponies here had pancakes.
- >You were even more amazed that they had pancakes that came in a box, you had expected them to only have batter.
- >You throw them in your microwave and head to the bathroom while you wait.
- >This was the last day you needed these Antitoxins, your pain had nearly faded away.
- >You pop one in your mouth and pocket the bottle for later, not bothering with the painkillers.
- >Your food is done and you sit down to eat, Anon already sitting across from you as he held his head up with his hands.
- >"Are you just gonna sit there and watch me eat until we go?"
- >"Yep." was his response.
- >You sit down and start eating your delectable prize for being up at this hour.
- >You only saved pancakes for important days.
- >You finish your meal and start to head to the shower.
- >"You think they can fix Rainbow at the hospital?" Anon asks.
- >That took you by surprise.
- >"What's wrong with her?"
- >You were concerned. Rainbow was a friend.
- >"Lately, I've been seeing her wings get real stiff all of a sudden. I think she may have some sort of paralysis."
- >You bang your head against the wall in frustration.
- >Dammit. Anon was the smartest guy you knew, he's not allowed to be this dumb.
- >You walk into your room and grab your anatomy book.
- >School was in session, bitch.
- >You flip to the section on pegusi wings.
- >"Read."
- >You don't wait for a response.
- -Anon PoV-
- >Damn, what jittered his critters?
- >You turn to the book and flip through some of the pages.
- >You had no idea what this had to do with Dash, but you'd humor Mous.
- >Pegusi wings can carry up to 200 pounds...blah blah blah...feathers mold every summer.
- >This was stupid.
- >You were worried about your friend, why learn about basic statistics?
- >You skip ahead a few pages.
- >Hollow bones, protected by innate magic.
- >Main bones run along the outer edge with smaller ones inside, muscle and skin stretched over them.
- >Bones are hollow.
- >They have primary blood vessels the same way that you had in your legs.
- >What did this have to do with anything?!
- >You're worrying about your friend's health and your bro hands you a book of useless facts? What is this?
- >You're about to close the book when you get to a section that catches your eye "Wing Phenomena"
- >Your interest re-ignited, you dive back into the text.
- >Genetic deformities where wings grow in backwards...horrible, but no...wings locking up in flight.
- >You come to one phrase that causes you to stop.
- >"Optera Tumesence"
- >You go through your knowledge of scientific phrasing to try and decipher this thing.
- >"Swollen Wing" That sounded promising.
- >"Pegusi wings can become swollen for a variety of reasons, be they from injury, or poor diet." the book read.
- >Rainbow didn't look hurt and apart from booze, her diet was phenomenal.
- >"While pegusi wings are sensitive normally, they become doubly so in this state." it continued.
- >So her wings were hurting? You continued reading.
- >"While pegusi wings can become swollen for many reasons, the most common is seems to be due to arousal."
- >Okay, so it looks like Rainbow's wings were always stiff because she was really turned on, that's a relief.
- >Whoawaitwhat?
- -Mous PoV-
- >You step into your room and toss on some clothes.
- >You weren't dressing to impress here; tee shirt and cargo pants it is.
- >You walk out into the living room and take a quick glance at Anon.
- >He looked like his brain just imploded.
- >"I take it you figured it out."
- >He looks up at you, his eyes were still wide.
- >"Hehe...yeah. "Arousal" huh? Nuts. Who do you think is causing it?" he says.
- >"Huh?"
- >"Who do you think is getting Rainbow so turned on?" he asks again.
- >Oohhh...
- >No.
- >Dammit, no.
- >You showed him the book, why can't he put two and two together?
- >Whatever, baby steps here.
- >"I dunno dude, let's get going."
- >You hate lying to Anon, but you'd rather not have to explain this situation to him.
- >You both step outside into the Equestrian sun.
- >You try not to glare at the object that constantly wakes you up as you head to the path.
- >"So what are we headed to town for?"
- >"Groceries, mostly. I could also do with a new notepad for work." Anon says.
- >"You went through that big ass notebook that fast?"
- >Anon shrugs. "Hey, I'm a research assistant."
- >The both of you continue walking until you see a floating mass of grey and yellow a bit further down.
- >There she is.
- >"Hey! Derpy!"
- >The mailmare spins around at the sound of her name and flutters towards you.
- >Her smile is infectious.
- >"Hey, Anon and Mous!" she shouts.
- >"Hey Derpy."
- >"Hi Derpy."
- >"Why are you two headed into town?" she asked as she fell in line with the two of you.
- >"Groceries, we're low."
- >"How about you, Derpy?" Anon asks.
- >"Oh, you know, gotta get these letters out. Especially with tomorrow being what it is."
- >Tomorrow?
- >What's special about it?
- >You think, it was mid February, and you know these ponies had an analogue for Valentines.
- >Wasn't it called...
- >"Heart's and Hooves day?"
- >"That's one thing!" Derpy beams.
- >You're about to ask her about that when Anon jumps in.
- >"You have any letters there from you Derpy? Maybe to someone you have your eye on?" he chides.
- >Derpy blushes and turns away. "Hehe. No, no special stallions in my life."
- >"That doesn't mean squat, don't think I haven't seen the looks you give that stallion at the clock store."
- >Derpy blushes harder at your teasing.
- >A quick look to Anon tells him to keep your little meeting with the clock store stallion to yourselves.
- >Derpy can find out about Time Lords when she's ready.
- >Derpy parts company with you two as you enter town.
- >You even get a hug goodbye this time.
- >That's new...
- >As the two of you make your way to the market, you're stopped by someone else calling your name.
- >"Mous!"
- >Goddammit, who noWHOASHIT.
- >FUCK.
- >LYRA.
- >ABORTABORTABORT.
- >You panic as the mint green mare canters up to you both with a cream coated earth pony following her.
- >"Mous! Hey! I didn't expect to see you in town!" she calls.
- >The earth pony looked pissed.
- >"Oh. Hi Lyra. Who's your friend?" you say through gritted teeth.
- >Gotta keep this conversation short.
- >This mare looks pissed.
- >"I'm Bon Bon." she said.
- >"Bon Bon is my-" Lyra started.
- >"We're together." Bon Bon finished.
- >Holy shit. Did her voice just change.
- >A glance to Anon shows that he saw it too.
- >TIMETOGO.
- >"WELLLYRAITWASNICETALKINGTOYOUWEHAVETOGONOW!" you say as you grab Anon and leg it.
- >"Mous! Wait up!" you hear her call.
- >You're around the corner before she finishes.
- >"Did you hear her voice!?" Anon shouts as you walk.
- >"Yeah, dude."
- >"What's the deal with that!?"
- >"I have no idea, but being around Lyra is rarely a good thing."
- >You both continue walking.
- >"So...what's Lyra's deal?" Anon asks.
- >"I don't know, she's obsessed with humans, apparently. Something about our hands."
- >You wiggle your fingers as you say that.
- >"Does she always find you like that?" he asks.
- >"She comes into the spa at least ten times a week."
- >Anon is silent for a minute.
- >"What are you gonna do?" he asks.
- >He's right. You had to do something.
- >Seeing Lyra a dozen times a week wasn't fucking working.
- >"I dunno, man."
- >You'll think of something later, you had shit to do.
- >The Ponyville market had everything, you just had to know where to look.
- >You grab Anon by the shoulder and turn him to you.
- >"Split up, grab your shit, meet back here in twenty." you say with accompanying hand movements.
- >"Gotcha." Anon says as he heads off.
- >You make your way around the stalls.
- >Some bread here, grapes there.
- >You pay the mare behind the counter.
- >Next is your delicious pancakes.
- >You grab as many boxes as will fit and pay the...mare.
- >You have everything you need and start to head back.
- >On your way, you begin to notice something off...
- >You meet back with Anon in the center of the market.
- >"Book store next?" you ask.
- >He smiles. "Nah, they had some notepads on the other end of the plaza. I picked up a few."
- >The two of you share a fist bump at your good fortune and head for home.
- >Anon speaks up when you're out of town.
- >"Hey...about the market...did you notice..."
- >"...all the mares?
- >"And there being NO stallions?
- >"And how the market was way less crowded then usual?"
- >It was a bit rare for the two of you to get on this wavelength.
- >Usually, one of you had to explain it to the other.
- >"What was the deal with that?"
- >"I have no clue dude, I've never heard of anything like that." Anon said.
- >Maybe it was some weird pony thing. Like Penguin migrations or something.
- >You arrive back at the house.
- >Check the clock; 2:15.
- >You were too wired now, can't get back to sleep.
- >Your perfect day of absolute sloth has been ruined.
- >You turn to Anon.
- >"...day drinking?"
- >He smiles. "You're on."
- >Anon heads to the kitchen to grab the booze as you hit the lights and start a movie.
- >'Lady in the Water'? Why did you even own this?
- >You and Anon take your places on the couch as the movie starts.
- >"So, lesbian ponies."
- >"I know right!" he cries.
- >After a marathon run of movies, booze, and whatever conversation you could grasp at, the both of you are so far gone they need a map to find you.
- >Sleepin on the couch tonight.
- >Anon is passed out on the couch, drooling again.
- >That fucker could never handle his alcohol.
- >You grab the remote in your mentally disheveled state and mash buttons until the room is pitch black.
- >You settle in as you drift off to sleep.
- >Anon had woken your ass up on your fucking day off so that you could help him get groceries.
- >Still...
- >This was good.
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