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BiE 17: Bro Time.

By Mandroid
Created: 19th December 2020 12:34:26 PM
AIE Safe Anon OC Rainbow Dash Slice of Life

  1. >You awake to, what a surprise, the sun in your face.
  2. >You grumble as you rise from your slumber.
  3. >That sun has ruined your fun for far too long.
  4. >Gentleman? How do we kill the sun?
  5. >You know the sun personally.
  6. >You probably have a sexual assault case on the sun.
  7. >You guess you could travel to Canterlot, fight off all her guards, no doubt have to fight her sister, and then actually kill her to remove the sun.
  8. >...
  9. >That sounds like a crazy amount of work.
  10. >You look at your clock; 12:15.
  11. >That is way too much work for this hour on your day off.
  12. >Why the fuck were you up anyway? You weren't scheduled to come in today.
  13. >You lay your head back on your pillow and begin to drift off to sleep again...
  14. >You are interrupted by a trio of bangs on your door.
  15. >"Yo! Mous! Wake up man!"
  16. >You throw yourself out of bed and make for the door.
  17. >You consider caving Anon's head in with a nearby model before you open the door.
  18. >No...
  19. >Learn what he wants first, then bash his brains in with a Scout Titan.
  20. >You swing open the door and give him your best glare.
  21. >"WHAT!?"
  22. >He jumps back at your sudden outburst, but a smile is quick to form on his face.
  23. >"Good morning to you too, dude." he says with a giggle.
  24. >If your glare could kill someone, it would be doing it now.
  26. >You bring yourself back from the simmering rage you were at.
  27. >"What. Do you want. Anon." you spit out.
  28. >You've known him for over a decade, he better fucking know you hate waking up by now.
  29. >He leans against the wall and grins at you.
  30. >"I was wondering if you wanted to go to town with me today, we're both off and I have some shit to do." he says.
  31. >"Get Rainbow to go."
  32. >Maybe that pegasus could finally come out and fucking say it and these two would leave you to sleep all day in peace.
  33. >"Rainbow is in Cloudsdale for till tomorrow, just you and me." he retorts.
  34. >Silence falls in the hallway as you bury your face in your hand.
  35. >Anon eventually speaks up again.
  36. >"C'mon bro, please?"
  37. >Damn his eyes. He knew you were gonna fold.
  38. >You really wanted to sleep in.
  39. >But hanging out with Anon would be cool.
  40. >"The last time we hung out together, I got mauled."
  41. >"So think of how easy it will be to do better than that!" he says spreading his arms wide.
  42. >You peek through your hand to glare at him.
  43. >His smile is still wide as a mile.
  44. >"...give me a half hour."
  45. >Anon crosses his arms and rolls his eyes. "Slowpoke."
  46. >You'd punch him or something, but you were already on your way to the kitchen.
  48. >You pick through your cupboards, what was there to eat here?
  49. >Fruit? No. Applejacks are still not proven safe. Gorilla Munch isn't fit for dogs.
  50. >You knew what you needed to get you through this.
  51. >Some mother bucking pancakes.
  52. >You were amazed that the ponies here had pancakes.
  53. >You were even more amazed that they had pancakes that came in a box, you had expected them to only have batter.
  54. >You throw them in your microwave and head to the bathroom while you wait.
  55. >This was the last day you needed these Antitoxins, your pain had nearly faded away.
  56. >You pop one in your mouth and pocket the bottle for later, not bothering with the painkillers.
  57. >Your food is done and you sit down to eat, Anon already sitting across from you as he held his head up with his hands.
  58. >"Are you just gonna sit there and watch me eat until we go?"
  59. >"Yep." was his response.
  60. >You sit down and start eating your delectable prize for being up at this hour.
  61. >You only saved pancakes for important days.
  62. >You finish your meal and start to head to the shower.
  63. >"You think they can fix Rainbow at the hospital?" Anon asks.
  64. >That took you by surprise.
  65. >"What's wrong with her?"
  66. >You were concerned. Rainbow was a friend.
  67. >"Lately, I've been seeing her wings get real stiff all of a sudden. I think she may have some sort of paralysis."
  68. >You bang your head against the wall in frustration.
  69. >Dammit. Anon was the smartest guy you knew, he's not allowed to be this dumb.
  70. >You walk into your room and grab your anatomy book.
  71. >School was in session, bitch.
  72. >You flip to the section on pegusi wings.
  73. >"Read."
  74. >You don't wait for a response.
  76. -Anon PoV-
  77. >Damn, what jittered his critters?
  78. >You turn to the book and flip through some of the pages.
  79. >You had no idea what this had to do with Dash, but you'd humor Mous.
  80. >Pegusi wings can carry up to 200 pounds...blah blah blah...feathers mold every summer.
  81. >This was stupid.
  82. >You were worried about your friend, why learn about basic statistics?
  83. >You skip ahead a few pages.
  84. >Hollow bones, protected by innate magic.
  85. >Main bones run along the outer edge with smaller ones inside, muscle and skin stretched over them.
  86. >Bones are hollow.
  87. >They have primary blood vessels the same way that you had in your legs.
  88. >What did this have to do with anything?!
  89. >You're worrying about your friend's health and your bro hands you a book of useless facts? What is this?
  90. >You're about to close the book when you get to a section that catches your eye "Wing Phenomena"
  91. >Your interest re-ignited, you dive back into the text.
  92. >Genetic deformities where wings grow in backwards...horrible, but no...wings locking up in flight.
  93. >You come to one phrase that causes you to stop.
  94. >"Optera Tumesence"
  95. >You go through your knowledge of scientific phrasing to try and decipher this thing.
  96. >"Swollen Wing" That sounded promising.
  97. >"Pegusi wings can become swollen for a variety of reasons, be they from injury, or poor diet." the book read.
  98. >Rainbow didn't look hurt and apart from booze, her diet was phenomenal.
  99. >"While pegusi wings are sensitive normally, they become doubly so in this state." it continued.
  100. >So her wings were hurting? You continued reading.
  101. >"While pegusi wings can become swollen for many reasons, the most common is seems to be due to arousal."
  102. >Okay, so it looks like Rainbow's wings were always stiff because she was really turned on, that's a relief.
  103. >Whoawaitwhat?
  105. -Mous PoV-
  107. >You step into your room and toss on some clothes.
  108. >You weren't dressing to impress here; tee shirt and cargo pants it is.
  109. >You walk out into the living room and take a quick glance at Anon.
  110. >He looked like his brain just imploded.
  111. >"I take it you figured it out."
  112. >He looks up at you, his eyes were still wide.
  113. >"Hehe...yeah. "Arousal" huh? Nuts. Who do you think is causing it?" he says.
  114. >"Huh?"
  115. >"Who do you think is getting Rainbow so turned on?" he asks again.
  116. >Oohhh...
  117. >No.
  118. >Dammit, no.
  119. >You showed him the book, why can't he put two and two together?
  120. >Whatever, baby steps here.
  121. >"I dunno dude, let's get going."
  122. >You hate lying to Anon, but you'd rather not have to explain this situation to him.
  123. >You both step outside into the Equestrian sun.
  124. >You try not to glare at the object that constantly wakes you up as you head to the path.
  125. >"So what are we headed to town for?"
  126. >"Groceries, mostly. I could also do with a new notepad for work." Anon says.
  127. >"You went through that big ass notebook that fast?"
  128. >Anon shrugs. "Hey, I'm a research assistant."
  129. >The both of you continue walking until you see a floating mass of grey and yellow a bit further down.
  131. >There she is.
  132. >"Hey! Derpy!"
  133. >The mailmare spins around at the sound of her name and flutters towards you.
  134. >Her smile is infectious.
  135. >"Hey, Anon and Mous!" she shouts.
  136. >"Hey Derpy."
  137. >"Hi Derpy."
  138. >"Why are you two headed into town?" she asked as she fell in line with the two of you.
  139. >"Groceries, we're low."
  140. >"How about you, Derpy?" Anon asks.
  141. >"Oh, you know, gotta get these letters out. Especially with tomorrow being what it is."
  142. >Tomorrow?
  143. >What's special about it?
  144. >You think, it was mid February, and you know these ponies had an analogue for Valentines.
  145. >Wasn't it called...
  146. >"Heart's and Hooves day?"
  147. >"That's one thing!" Derpy beams.
  148. >You're about to ask her about that when Anon jumps in.
  149. >"You have any letters there from you Derpy? Maybe to someone you have your eye on?" he chides.
  150. >Derpy blushes and turns away. "Hehe. No, no special stallions in my life."
  151. >"That doesn't mean squat, don't think I haven't seen the looks you give that stallion at the clock store."
  152. >Derpy blushes harder at your teasing.
  153. >A quick look to Anon tells him to keep your little meeting with the clock store stallion to yourselves.
  154. >Derpy can find out about Time Lords when she's ready.
  156. >Derpy parts company with you two as you enter town.
  157. >You even get a hug goodbye this time.
  158. >That's new...
  159. >As the two of you make your way to the market, you're stopped by someone else calling your name.
  160. >"Mous!"
  161. >Goddammit, who noWHOASHIT.
  162. >FUCK.
  163. >LYRA.
  165. >You panic as the mint green mare canters up to you both with a cream coated earth pony following her.
  166. >"Mous! Hey! I didn't expect to see you in town!" she calls.
  167. >The earth pony looked pissed.
  168. >"Oh. Hi Lyra. Who's your friend?" you say through gritted teeth.
  169. >Gotta keep this conversation short.
  170. >This mare looks pissed.
  171. >"I'm Bon Bon." she said.
  172. >"Bon Bon is my-" Lyra started.
  173. >"We're together." Bon Bon finished.
  174. >Holy shit. Did her voice just change.
  175. >A glance to Anon shows that he saw it too.
  176. >TIMETOGO.
  177. >"WELLLYRAITWASNICETALKINGTOYOUWEHAVETOGONOW!" you say as you grab Anon and leg it.
  178. >"Mous! Wait up!" you hear her call.
  179. >You're around the corner before she finishes.
  181. >"Did you hear her voice!?" Anon shouts as you walk.
  182. >"Yeah, dude."
  183. >"What's the deal with that!?"
  184. >"I have no idea, but being around Lyra is rarely a good thing."
  185. >You both continue walking.
  186. >"So...what's Lyra's deal?" Anon asks.
  187. >"I don't know, she's obsessed with humans, apparently. Something about our hands."
  188. >You wiggle your fingers as you say that.
  189. >"Does she always find you like that?" he asks.
  190. >"She comes into the spa at least ten times a week."
  191. >Anon is silent for a minute.
  192. >"What are you gonna do?" he asks.
  193. >He's right. You had to do something.
  194. >Seeing Lyra a dozen times a week wasn't fucking working.
  195. >"I dunno, man."
  196. >You'll think of something later, you had shit to do.
  197. >The Ponyville market had everything, you just had to know where to look.
  198. >You grab Anon by the shoulder and turn him to you.
  199. >"Split up, grab your shit, meet back here in twenty." you say with accompanying hand movements.
  200. >"Gotcha." Anon says as he heads off.
  201. >You make your way around the stalls.
  202. >Some bread here, grapes there.
  203. >You pay the mare behind the counter.
  204. >Next is your delicious pancakes.
  205. >You grab as many boxes as will fit and pay the...mare.
  206. >You have everything you need and start to head back.
  207. >On your way, you begin to notice something off...
  209. >You meet back with Anon in the center of the market.
  210. >"Book store next?" you ask.
  211. >He smiles. "Nah, they had some notepads on the other end of the plaza. I picked up a few."
  212. >The two of you share a fist bump at your good fortune and head for home.
  213. >Anon speaks up when you're out of town.
  214. >"Hey...about the market...did you notice..."
  215. >"...all the mares?
  216. >"And there being NO stallions?
  217. >"And how the market was way less crowded then usual?"
  218. >It was a bit rare for the two of you to get on this wavelength.
  219. >Usually, one of you had to explain it to the other.
  220. >"What was the deal with that?"
  221. >"I have no clue dude, I've never heard of anything like that." Anon said.
  222. >Maybe it was some weird pony thing. Like Penguin migrations or something.
  224. >You arrive back at the house.
  225. >Check the clock; 2:15.
  226. >You were too wired now, can't get back to sleep.
  227. >Your perfect day of absolute sloth has been ruined.
  228. >You turn to Anon.
  229. >" drinking?"
  230. >He smiles. "You're on."
  231. >Anon heads to the kitchen to grab the booze as you hit the lights and start a movie.
  232. >'Lady in the Water'? Why did you even own this?
  233. >You and Anon take your places on the couch as the movie starts.
  234. >"So, lesbian ponies."
  235. >"I know right!" he cries.
  236. >After a marathon run of movies, booze, and whatever conversation you could grasp at, the both of you are so far gone they need a map to find you.
  237. >Sleepin on the couch tonight.
  238. >Anon is passed out on the couch, drooling again.
  239. >That fucker could never handle his alcohol.
  240. >You grab the remote in your mentally disheveled state and mash buttons until the room is pitch black.
  241. >You settle in as you drift off to sleep.
  242. >Anon had woken your ass up on your fucking day off so that you could help him get groceries.
  243. >Still...
  244. >This was good.

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