GREEN
279
0
2208 12.12 KB 244
2208 12.12 KB 244
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>You awake to, what a surprise, the sun in your face.
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>You grumble as you rise from your slumber.
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>That sun has ruined your fun for far too long.
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>Gentleman? How do we kill the sun?
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>You know the sun personally.
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>You probably have a sexual assault case on the sun.
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>You guess you could travel to Canterlot, fight off all her guards, no doubt have to fight her sister, and then actually kill her to remove the sun.
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>...
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>That sounds like a crazy amount of work.
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>You look at your clock; 12:15.
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>That is way too much work for this hour on your day off.
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>Why the fuck were you up anyway? You weren't scheduled to come in today.
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>You lay your head back on your pillow and begin to drift off to sleep again...
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>You are interrupted by a trio of bangs on your door.
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>"Yo! Mous! Wake up man!"
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>You throw yourself out of bed and make for the door.
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>You consider caving Anon's head in with a nearby model before you open the door.
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>No...
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>Learn what he wants first, then bash his brains in with a Scout Titan.
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>You swing open the door and give him your best glare.
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>"WHAT!?"
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>He jumps back at your sudden outburst, but a smile is quick to form on his face.
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>"Good morning to you too, dude." he says with a giggle.
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>If your glare could kill someone, it would be doing it now.
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>You bring yourself back from the simmering rage you were at.
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>"What. Do you want. Anon." you spit out.
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>You've known him for over a decade, he better fucking know you hate waking up by now.
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>He leans against the wall and grins at you.
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>"I was wondering if you wanted to go to town with me today, we're both off and I have some shit to do." he says.
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>"Get Rainbow to go."
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>Maybe that pegasus could finally come out and fucking say it and these two would leave you to sleep all day in peace.
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>"Rainbow is in Cloudsdale for till tomorrow, just you and me." he retorts.
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>Silence falls in the hallway as you bury your face in your hand.
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>Anon eventually speaks up again.
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>"C'mon bro, please?"
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>Damn his eyes. He knew you were gonna fold.
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>You really wanted to sleep in.
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>But hanging out with Anon would be cool.
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>"The last time we hung out together, I got mauled."
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>"So think of how easy it will be to do better than that!" he says spreading his arms wide.
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>You peek through your hand to glare at him.
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>His smile is still wide as a mile.
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>"...give me a half hour."
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>Anon crosses his arms and rolls his eyes. "Slowpoke."
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>You'd punch him or something, but you were already on your way to the kitchen.
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>You pick through your cupboards, what was there to eat here?
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>Fruit? No. Applejacks are still not proven safe. Gorilla Munch isn't fit for dogs.
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>You knew what you needed to get you through this.
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>Some mother bucking pancakes.
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>You were amazed that the ponies here had pancakes.
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>You were even more amazed that they had pancakes that came in a box, you had expected them to only have batter.
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>You throw them in your microwave and head to the bathroom while you wait.
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>This was the last day you needed these Antitoxins, your pain had nearly faded away.
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>You pop one in your mouth and pocket the bottle for later, not bothering with the painkillers.
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>Your food is done and you sit down to eat, Anon already sitting across from you as he held his head up with his hands.
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>"Are you just gonna sit there and watch me eat until we go?"
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>"Yep." was his response.
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>You sit down and start eating your delectable prize for being up at this hour.
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>You only saved pancakes for important days.
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>You finish your meal and start to head to the shower.
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>"You think they can fix Rainbow at the hospital?" Anon asks.
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>That took you by surprise.
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>"What's wrong with her?"
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>You were concerned. Rainbow was a friend.
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>"Lately, I've been seeing her wings get real stiff all of a sudden. I think she may have some sort of paralysis."
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>You bang your head against the wall in frustration.
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>Dammit. Anon was the smartest guy you knew, he's not allowed to be this dumb.
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>You walk into your room and grab your anatomy book.
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>School was in session, bitch.
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>You flip to the section on pegusi wings.
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>"Read."
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>You don't wait for a response.
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-Anon PoV-
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>Damn, what jittered his critters?
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>You turn to the book and flip through some of the pages.
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>You had no idea what this had to do with Dash, but you'd humor Mous.
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>Pegusi wings can carry up to 200 pounds...blah blah blah...feathers mold every summer.
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>This was stupid.
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>You were worried about your friend, why learn about basic statistics?
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>You skip ahead a few pages.
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>Hollow bones, protected by innate magic.
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>Main bones run along the outer edge with smaller ones inside, muscle and skin stretched over them.
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>Bones are hollow.
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>They have primary blood vessels the same way that you had in your legs.
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>What did this have to do with anything?!
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>You're worrying about your friend's health and your bro hands you a book of useless facts? What is this?
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>You're about to close the book when you get to a section that catches your eye "Wing Phenomena"
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>Your interest re-ignited, you dive back into the text.
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>Genetic deformities where wings grow in backwards...horrible, but no...wings locking up in flight.
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>You come to one phrase that causes you to stop.
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>"Optera Tumesence"
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>You go through your knowledge of scientific phrasing to try and decipher this thing.
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>"Swollen Wing" That sounded promising.
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>"Pegusi wings can become swollen for a variety of reasons, be they from injury, or poor diet." the book read.
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>Rainbow didn't look hurt and apart from booze, her diet was phenomenal.
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>"While pegusi wings are sensitive normally, they become doubly so in this state." it continued.
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>So her wings were hurting? You continued reading.
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>"While pegusi wings can become swollen for many reasons, the most common is seems to be due to arousal."
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>Okay, so it looks like Rainbow's wings were always stiff because she was really turned on, that's a relief.
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>Whoawaitwhat?
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-Mous PoV-
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>You step into your room and toss on some clothes.
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>You weren't dressing to impress here; tee shirt and cargo pants it is.
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>You walk out into the living room and take a quick glance at Anon.
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>He looked like his brain just imploded.
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>"I take it you figured it out."
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>He looks up at you, his eyes were still wide.
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>"Hehe...yeah. "Arousal" huh? Nuts. Who do you think is causing it?" he says.
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>"Huh?"
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>"Who do you think is getting Rainbow so turned on?" he asks again.
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>Oohhh...
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>No.
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>Dammit, no.
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>You showed him the book, why can't he put two and two together?
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>Whatever, baby steps here.
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>"I dunno dude, let's get going."
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>You hate lying to Anon, but you'd rather not have to explain this situation to him.
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>You both step outside into the Equestrian sun.
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>You try not to glare at the object that constantly wakes you up as you head to the path.
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>"So what are we headed to town for?"
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>"Groceries, mostly. I could also do with a new notepad for work." Anon says.
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>"You went through that big ass notebook that fast?"
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>Anon shrugs. "Hey, I'm a research assistant."
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>The both of you continue walking until you see a floating mass of grey and yellow a bit further down.
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>There she is.
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>"Hey! Derpy!"
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>The mailmare spins around at the sound of her name and flutters towards you.
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>Her smile is infectious.
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>"Hey, Anon and Mous!" she shouts.
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>"Hey Derpy."
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>"Hi Derpy."
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>"Why are you two headed into town?" she asked as she fell in line with the two of you.
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>"Groceries, we're low."
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>"How about you, Derpy?" Anon asks.
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>"Oh, you know, gotta get these letters out. Especially with tomorrow being what it is."
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>Tomorrow?
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>What's special about it?
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>You think, it was mid February, and you know these ponies had an analogue for Valentines.
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>Wasn't it called...
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>"Heart's and Hooves day?"
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>"That's one thing!" Derpy beams.
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>You're about to ask her about that when Anon jumps in.
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>"You have any letters there from you Derpy? Maybe to someone you have your eye on?" he chides.
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>Derpy blushes and turns away. "Hehe. No, no special stallions in my life."
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>"That doesn't mean squat, don't think I haven't seen the looks you give that stallion at the clock store."
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>Derpy blushes harder at your teasing.
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>A quick look to Anon tells him to keep your little meeting with the clock store stallion to yourselves.
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>Derpy can find out about Time Lords when she's ready.
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>Derpy parts company with you two as you enter town.
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>You even get a hug goodbye this time.
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>That's new...
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>As the two of you make your way to the market, you're stopped by someone else calling your name.
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>"Mous!"
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>Goddammit, who noWHOASHIT.
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>FUCK.
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>LYRA.
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>ABORTABORTABORT.
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>You panic as the mint green mare canters up to you both with a cream coated earth pony following her.
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>"Mous! Hey! I didn't expect to see you in town!" she calls.
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>The earth pony looked pissed.
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>"Oh. Hi Lyra. Who's your friend?" you say through gritted teeth.
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>Gotta keep this conversation short.
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>This mare looks pissed.
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>"I'm Bon Bon." she said.
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>"Bon Bon is my-" Lyra started.
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>"We're together." Bon Bon finished.
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>Holy shit. Did her voice just change.
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>A glance to Anon shows that he saw it too.
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>TIMETOGO.
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>"WELLLYRAITWASNICETALKINGTOYOUWEHAVETOGONOW!" you say as you grab Anon and leg it.
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>"Mous! Wait up!" you hear her call.
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>You're around the corner before she finishes.
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>"Did you hear her voice!?" Anon shouts as you walk.
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>"Yeah, dude."
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>"What's the deal with that!?"
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>"I have no idea, but being around Lyra is rarely a good thing."
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>You both continue walking.
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>"So...what's Lyra's deal?" Anon asks.
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>"I don't know, she's obsessed with humans, apparently. Something about our hands."
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>You wiggle your fingers as you say that.
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>"Does she always find you like that?" he asks.
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>"She comes into the spa at least ten times a week."
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>Anon is silent for a minute.
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>"What are you gonna do?" he asks.
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>He's right. You had to do something.
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>Seeing Lyra a dozen times a week wasn't fucking working.
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>"I dunno, man."
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>You'll think of something later, you had shit to do.
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>The Ponyville market had everything, you just had to know where to look.
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>You grab Anon by the shoulder and turn him to you.
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>"Split up, grab your shit, meet back here in twenty." you say with accompanying hand movements.
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>"Gotcha." Anon says as he heads off.
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>You make your way around the stalls.
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>Some bread here, grapes there.
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>You pay the mare behind the counter.
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>Next is your delicious pancakes.
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>You grab as many boxes as will fit and pay the...mare.
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>You have everything you need and start to head back.
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>On your way, you begin to notice something off...
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>You meet back with Anon in the center of the market.
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>"Book store next?" you ask.
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>He smiles. "Nah, they had some notepads on the other end of the plaza. I picked up a few."
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>The two of you share a fist bump at your good fortune and head for home.
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>Anon speaks up when you're out of town.
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>"Hey...about the market...did you notice..."
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>"...all the mares?
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>"And there being NO stallions?
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>"And how the market was way less crowded then usual?"
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>It was a bit rare for the two of you to get on this wavelength.
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>Usually, one of you had to explain it to the other.
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>"What was the deal with that?"
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>"I have no clue dude, I've never heard of anything like that." Anon said.
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>Maybe it was some weird pony thing. Like Penguin migrations or something.
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>You arrive back at the house.
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>Check the clock; 2:15.
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>You were too wired now, can't get back to sleep.
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>Your perfect day of absolute sloth has been ruined.
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>You turn to Anon.
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>"...day drinking?"
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>He smiles. "You're on."
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>Anon heads to the kitchen to grab the booze as you hit the lights and start a movie.
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>'Lady in the Water'? Why did you even own this?
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>You and Anon take your places on the couch as the movie starts.
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>"So, lesbian ponies."
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>"I know right!" he cries.
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>After a marathon run of movies, booze, and whatever conversation you could grasp at, the both of you are so far gone they need a map to find you.
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>Sleepin on the couch tonight.
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>Anon is passed out on the couch, drooling again.
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>That fucker could never handle his alcohol.
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>You grab the remote in your mentally disheveled state and mash buttons until the room is pitch black.
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>You settle in as you drift off to sleep.
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>Anon had woken your ass up on your fucking day off so that you could help him get groceries.
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>Still...
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>This was good.
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