GREEN
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- >Yesterday was probably one of the best days you’ve had in a very long time.
- >You lay in bed for a little bit to think.
- >As long as you go out with your friends, things can be fun.
- >’Do you honestly believe they can do this all the time?’
- >Of course not, I’m not dumb.
- >’Really? It took both Connie AND Rest to get you out of the house.’
- >That’s different.
- >’No it isn’t, had they not pushed, you would’ve stayed inside.’
- >Yeah, you’re right about that.
- >’When this is all over, things will go back to the same routine, you can never escape that.’
- “That’s not true.”
- >’Don’t fucking lie to yourself Eri, it’s sad.’
- >You pull a pillow over your head and groan into it.
- >’Can’t ignore this forever, you will see.’
- “Fuck this.”
- >Tossing the pillow aside, you get up and leave the bedroom.
- >As you go out into the hallway, you nearly slip on the socks you’re wearing.
- >Forgot about those, you put them on to hide the bandages last night.
- >Carefully, you continue to the source of the heavenly aroma.
- >Of course Connie is cooking again.
- “That smells wonderful.”
- >Connie turns to you with a small smirk.
- >>”I’m certain it does, it’s french toast with a side of hay bacon.”
- >Not like your stomach is going to argue with that.
- >Joining Rest at the table, you see she is half finished.
- >”Nice socks.”
- >You stumble out an excuse.
- “T-thanks, my hooves were a little cold last night.”
- >>”Told you it can get cold at night here.”
- >Rolling your eyes, you reply back.
- “And that’s why I packed socks and hoodies.”
- >You start to eat and let out a small moan of satisfaction.
- >Hearing a giggle you see Rest looking at you with a smile.
- >”Yeah, it is good isn’t it?”
- >Nodding, you rather not speak right now, just enjoy the food.
- >As you continue to eat, Connie joins you both.
- >>”So, after I’m done practicing, where would you two like to go next?”
- >”You mentioned the museum, how about there?”
- >Before they can ask you like yesterday, you just agree.
- “Sounds good.”
- >>”Great, we can even get a tour as well. I haven’t been there in a while, but it’s a lovely place. I’m certain you two will like it.”
- >You nod along and finish eating.
- >Figuring you should go wash up, you head back to the bedroom.
- “I’ll go prepare then.”
- >Connie nods and the two of them start to chat as you reach the bedroom.
- >You look through your clothes and just settle on wearing the same hoodie again.
- >No point in changing into something else, though the socks gotta go.
- >You set them aside for now.
- >Though as you turn to go to the bathroom, you run into Rest.
- >”Hey there.”
- >You freeze, thankfully the bandages are covered by the clothes you’re holding, but that doesn’t stop the fear.
- “H-hey.”
- >She looks concerned.
- >”Just checking on you, wanna make sure you’re alright.”
- >Of course.
- >’Why wouldn’t she? You cause her enough concern.’
- “Yeah I’m fine, looking forward to seeing the museum.”
- >She smiles and gets a little closer making you feel more nervous.
- >”I’m happy to hear that, but don’t forget that you can open up to either of us.”
- >Rest gives you a small hug, one you eagerly return.
- >’You’re so desperate it’s pathetic.’
- >Let me have this dammit.
- >She pulls away, and gives a soft smile.
- >You give a smile in return and head into the bathroom.
- >As the tub slowly fills, you check on your cut from yesterday.
- >Looks better, but that doesn’t mean much.
- >’So how long do you think you will hold out Eri?’
- “As long as I can.”
- >’You know Rest really isn’t your friend, right?’
- >Your anger starts to rise.
- “Just fuck off.”
- >’Touched a nerve? She sees you as a pet project you know.’
- “T-that’s not true.”
- >’Face it, when you’re fully ‘healed’ she will leave you.’
- >Gritting your teeth and squeezing your eyes tightly you try to silence the thoughts.
- “Leave me alone...Please...”
- >The sound of the filling tub is the only noise you hear.
- >Opening your eyes slowly, let out a slow sigh of relief.
- “Have to stop doing that.”
- >Turning off the facet, you climb into the tub and try to relax.
- >However, your thoughts start to wander again.
- >How long will you actually hold out?
- >It’s not like you want to die, right?
- >…
- >Maybe dying isn’t so bad...
- >Shaking your head, you quickly clean up rather than deal with this shit.
- >Though you hurry, it doesn’t hide the fact that you thought of that.
- “W-why can’t I just be normal? Seriously, is it that fucking hard?”
- >Silence.
- >Letting out a groan, you should know better by now.
- >Just as you’re about to leave the bathroom, you nearly forget to wrap up your leg again.
- “Idiot, I can’t believe I nearly did that.”
- >You quickly wrap it up and look it over.
- >Feeling satisfied, you put on your hoodie and head out to the other room.
- >Connie’s music echos from the living room, it soothes you a little.
- “At least I have that...”
- >Slowly you trot to the living room, and see them both were they where yesterday.
- >For a while, you stand there in the entrance, just listening to the music.
- >It’s beautiful.
- >Makes you wish you could play an instrument, but you always sucked.
- >All you have is a talent that no pony can enjoy, least of all yourself.
- >A cold feeling enters your heart, and your eyes start to moisten.
- >You close them in an attempt to hold back the tears, but a few tears fall to the floor.
- >Taking a few steps back, you don’t want either of them to see you like this.
- >You can’t hold back much longer, so you retreat to the bedroom to let it out.
- >The moment you reach the bed, you bury your head in a pillow and softly cry.
- >Rest even told you that you could open up to either of them, but here you are, alone and crying.
- >But you know why you’re not, you don’t want them to see you suffer nor do you want them change today’s plans.
- >Just suffer alone...For them…
- >Eventually your tears dry up, and you pull away from the pillow.
- >Your voice is barely a whisper now.
- “S-so s-stupid...”
- >You rub your eyes and head to the bathroom to see if you can hide the disgrace marking your face.
- >Looking into the mirror reveals your eyes are bloodshot and puffy.
- >’How do you intend to hide this one?’
- “I’ll figure it out.”
- >’You can’t expect them to not see it.’
- “J-just leave me alone...”
- >You turn on the facet and splash some cold water on your face.
- >It helps freshen you up a little, but you’re going to have to wait it out for your eyes to clear up.
- >So you sit in the bathroom and trace a hoof over the other leg’s scars.
- “Don’t remember most of these...”
- >Many you did while falling apart, even got close to cutting too deep far too many times.
- >Some like yesterday, were in a bathroom.
- >A sudden knocking causes you to jump.
- >”How long are you going to be?”
- >Of course it’s Rest…
- “Just a few more minutes!”
- >You give yourself a once over in the mirror and hope for the best.
- >Thankfully your eyes are mostly cleared up.
- >You flush the toilet and run the sink for a minute before turning it off.
- >Opening the door you give Rest a fake smile and head to the living room.
- >Connie is looking over some music sheets again.
- “H-hey, how’s it going?”
- >She beams and turns her attention to you.
- >>”Pretty good actually, I’d say practice went well, how about yourself?”
- >’Yeah, how about it Eri?’
- >Still wearing the same fake smile, you answer her.
- “I’m doing alright, little nervous about today.”
- >Connie nods and motions for you to sit, which you do.
- >>”It’s okay to be nervous, just remember we will be right there with you. I’m certain you will like what the museum has to the offer.”
- >Hopefully she’s right.
- “Yeah, I’m sure I will get through it.”
- >She nods and starts to put away her things.
- >>”Suppose I should get ready as well, be right back.”
- >You nod and watch her leave.
- >While your anxiety settles, your mind wanders.
- >’Do you think you will actually enjoy going to a museum?’
- >Haven’t been to one since I was little, so maybe I’ll appreciate it more.
- >’At least with the theater you couldn’t see the other ponies, but now you will be surrounded in broad daylight.’
- >I can handle this.
- >’Maybe you will, maybe you won’t. With your track record though...’
- “I said I will handle this.”
- >”Who are you talking to Eri?”
- >Freezing up, you see Rest looking confused.
- >Your embarrassment skyrockets and you stumble out a response.
- “I-um...I-I...M-myself! I was talking to myself.”
- >Sure it’s the truth, but do you honestly think she will buy that?
- >”Okay, do you want to talk? I know you tend to talk to yourself when you get worked up.”
- >Forgot she knew that, don’t need to say everything though.
- “J-just stress that’s all. Still working my way through all of this. Don’t worry though, I haven’t forgotten what either of you have said.”
- >She smiles and nods.
- >”I can imagine, you’re doing really well so far.”
- >’Holy shit, she actually bought that?’
- >Just fuck off.
- “You think so? Maybe this is all working out then.”
- >’Or maybe you’re on a path to collapse, again.’
- >I can try dammit.
- >”Yes I do, you’ve taken another step towards getting better.”
- >Maybe you are getting better.
- >’We’ll see about that.’
- >Ignoring that thought, you stand up, feeling a little more renewed.
- >Connie trots back into the living room looking quite pleased.
- >>”Alright, lets get going, I’m really excited to visit the museum again. I usually feel inspired after I go there.”
- >The three of you leave the apartment and like yesterday, Connie hails a taxi.
- >Though this time, you try to stay focused.
- >Just remember Eri, do it for them.
- >A taxi pulls up and you climb in, you decide to try to chat with the other two this time.
- “From the sounds of things, you’ve been to the museum a lot?”
- >Connie nods.
- >>”Yes, it’s nice to see what history is contained within. Really puts a whole perspective on everything.”
- >”I can imagine a city like this has a lot of history, though I don’t know much about Manehattan.”
- >>”It’s not just on Manehattan, there is stuff on the history of Equestria and much more.”
- >Would be nice if you could share their enthusiasm, maybe you will when you see it all.
- >While you wouldn’t mind adding more to the conversation, you start to zone out.
- >’Giving up again?’
- >They understand, not like they expect me to be as talkative.
- >’Do you honestly believe that? They would probably like it more if you actually talked instead of being a fucking wall.’
- >Die in a fire.
- >The taxi pulls up to a huge concrete building adorned with statues and pillars.
- >Guess this is the museum.
- >Connie and Rest get out of the taxi with you joining them.
- >As you all trot up to the building, you’re starting to feel overwhelmed
- >This place feels really imposing.
- >Damn anxiety is trying to dissuade you again.
- >Gritting your teeth, you continue to follow them and watch as Connie talks to a mare who probably is in charge of tours.
- >You look around in the meantime, this place has high ceilings and banners.
- >Of course there is a fuck ton of ponies around, and slowly you feel yourself start to shake.
- >Not because you’re cold, but because you’re so damn afraid.
- >For fucks sake, just hold on Eri, you can do this.
- >You pulse rises and with it, so does your breathing.
- >Come on you piece of trash, don’t give in, please for the love of Celestia, don’t give in…
- >>”We made it just in time for the next tour.”
- >Snapping out of it, you see Connie smiling and looking at you two.
- >Thank fuck…
- >You slowly calm down and follow Connie as she leads you over to a group.
- >A guide grabs the attention of the whole group.
- >>>”Alright everypony, we are about to begin our journey through the museum. I ask that you wait to ask questions till after I explain each exhibit and to stay together. We don’t want anypony to get lost after all. Is everypony ready then?”
- >A collective agreement goes out from the group.
- >She smiles and starts to lead the group to one of the wings of the museum.
- >>>”Starting off with Manehattan, it was founded shortly after the unification of the three tribes. This was necessary...”
- >Slowly, you tune her out and look at the many exhibits around the room.
- >There are many pictures and even some old things from when the city was founded.
- >You feel yourself start to relax as you distract yourself.
- >The guide starts to move with the group again and you follow along once more.
- >This section has various fossils, skeletons, and all other kinds of stuff.
- >Of course you zone in on the skeletons, they looks pretty cool.
- >One of which is labeled Modern Equus.
- “Huh, so that’s what is inside of me. Spooky.”
- >”It’s pretty rad.”
- >You jump and notice Rest is looking at the skeleton with you.
- >She realizes this and smirks.
- >”Jumpy?”
- “Fuck, you scared me.”
- >She giggles.
- >”Didn’t mean to, but I’m happy to see you interested.”
- >>”Come on you two, we can’t fall behind.”
- >You both look to see Connie waving to the moving group.
- >”Be right with you.”
- >Nodding, you both quickly rejoin the group.
- >Looks like the next area is dedicated to Equestion history in general.
- >Sure you learned that in school and you forgot most of it, but it’s kinda nice to remember.
- >As the tour guide talks, you look around again.
- >’Can’t pay attention, can you?’
- >I can, just rather look is all.
- >’You were the same way when you were a filly, guess you didn’t change at all.’
- >That’s not true, I’m not a damn filly anymore.
- >’Doesn’t stop you from breaking down and crying like one.’
- >It’s not like I want to!
- >’That’s real rich. ALL of your problems are from being an attention whore.’
- >Shut the fuck up!
- >’Truth hurts, don’t it Eri? Then again, that’s not the only thing that hurts, you hurt yourself.’
- >You shut your eyes tightly as tears threaten to emerge.
- >I am getting better, regardless of what you think.
- >’You mean what you think. I am a random thought in YOUR head, YOUR thoughts at that.’
- >I-I need to find Rest and Connie.
- >As you open your eyes, you don’t see the group.
- >Your eyes widen as you realize you’re alone.
- “No, no, no, no...I-I can find them...Just focus like they told you.”
- >Quickly, you start to look for them.
- >As you enter the next room, you see them quickly rush to you.
- >”There you are!”
- >>”Are you alright?”
- “Yeah I’m fine, just got distracted is all.”
- >”Are you sure about that? You don’t look alright.”
- >You probably look awful.
- “I just...I had a minor incident, that’s all.”
- >They don’t look that convinced.
- >>”How about we just...Finish this up and get going?”
- >Connie looks to Rest who nods.
- >’Fantastic Eri, you ruined the whole tour.’
- >You say nothing and follow them while looking downwards.
- >Though they talk and try to include you, you just nod or shake your head instead of talking.
- >The tour finishes up and you leave them with, feeling worse.
- >Even the ride back to the apartment, you remain silent.
- >When you get back, you skip out on dinner and just head back to the bedroom.
- “...Idiot...Couldn’t stay normal for one day...No...”
- >Tears fall freely as you reach the bed and collapse on it.
- >Slowly, you fall asleep crying.
by
NHanon
by
NHanon
by
NHanon
by
NHanon
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NHanon