GREEN
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2947 16.32 KB 306
2947 16.32 KB 306
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=BiE 26=
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>Sunday.
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>Around four in the afternoon.
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>Anon and Rainbow went off to the Wonderbolts museum, which was good. If they stayed in bed all day they'd work themselves into a rut.
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>Ba-zing.
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>It worked out for you though.
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>It gave you time to do what you came here to do.
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>You approach your target.
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>Canterlot Castle: Home of Princesses Celestia, Luna, and countless other nobles.
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>You had spent most of yesterday scoping it out, even took a guided tour.
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>The ground floor with the throne room was mostly for the tourists, you were aiming higher.
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>Past that was the residences, where everypony from the royal sisters to the royal eighth-aunt-twice-removed lived. Closer, but not optimum.
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>Above that was the little used maintenance hallways with roof access. That was what you were aiming for.
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>Anon had told you that both princesses were at the derby yesterday.
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>If these ponies were anything like people, they would be relaxing at home after a day at the races.
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>And if one pony in particular behaved the way you thought she did, then the roof was your best chance of getting to her.
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>That was your plan.
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>Get inside.
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>Get to the rood.
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>And prank Celestia.
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>You enter the castle walls.
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>Two guards stood by the door.
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>Easy.
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>You toss them both a wave.
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>"Hey, the Princess called me in. She wants to me some stuff about my homeworld."
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>The two of them exchange looks. "We weren't notified."
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>"Yeah, it was kinda sudden. She caught me at the derby yesterday and invited me over."
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>The two of them exchange another glance.
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>These two were the biggest hurdle, they could stop this plan before it started.
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>Not that you'd give up, there was always another way.
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>"What's in the bag?" the ask.
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>Half-truths, Mous.
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>"Just some stuff from my world I brought with me, I figured I'd show the Princess. I have some clothes...a toothbrush...and a music player." you list off.
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>The guards exchange one final glance before they step aside.
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>"The Princess is in her quarters." they say.
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>You offer a quick bow and head inside.
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>Phase one: Done.
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>That was fairly simple.
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>It's not those guards fault they didn't ask which princess you were here to see, it's not like this stuff happens too often.
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>With an alibi and a pair of witnesses secured, you make your way through the castle.
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>Your strategy of "Walk around like you own the place." is doing you well, nopony asks what you're doing here.
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>Okay...from the tour yesterday, the stairs up should be behind the throne room.
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>You find the stairs and sneak your way up. Phase two begins now.
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>Phase one may have had the biggest opportunity for failure, but phase two is no slouch.
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>If anyp0ny caught you up here, they could pretty easily call your alibi into question by simply asking the princess.
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>Getting caught by Celestia with your pants down wasn't something you wanted to happen. Both figuratively and literally.
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>You keep your head held high as you walk. It would deter a cursory glance, at least.
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>You spot a mirror hanging from the wall up ahead.
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>You can spot two guards on duty in its reflection.
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>Fuck. Sneaking by wasn't an option.
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>You take a knee by a vase to think.
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>You're so caught up that you don't notice the pony sneaking up on you.
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>"Who are you?" they whispered.
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>You don't like being snuck up on as it is. That goes double when you're trespassing.
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>You shoot up from your knee and nudge the vase.
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>Fuck!
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>You spin around and stop the vase from moving before it crashes.
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>Heh. It seems all those days of playing games in Anon's living room have paid off.
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>You turn to face your new friend.
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>He was taller than most ponies, white coat, goldilocks mane, unicorn horn, and a...lapel?
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>"Who are you?"
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>The colt gets a disbelieving look on his face. "I asked first." he says.
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>Had you there.
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>"I'm Mous, I met the Princesses a few months ago. You?"
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>He leans his head to the side and his incredulous frown gets deeper.
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>"I am Prince Blueblood. I have been RELATED to the Princesses for my entire life."
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>A noble? Named 'Blueblood'? You have stopped being surprised.
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>He gets in your face. "Why are you here!? Only members of the royal family live on this floor."
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>Remember your cover.
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>"The Princess sent for me, I was looking for her room."
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>He doesn't buy it. "It's day. No one knows that Princess Luna is even awake and Princess Celestia has been...indisposed...for the entire day."
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>Well, there's your confirmation on her habitual behavior.
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>But fuck. There goes your alibi.
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>Dammit!
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>You ignore Blueblood as you slump on the nearby wall and think of the consequences of this.
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>You would probably be detained for a bit. Hauled off. Anon and Rainbow would be grabbed and asked why you snuck into the palace.
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>As for punishment? You don't see why Celestia wouldn't take matters into her own hooves, especially if you were so keen on interrupting her.
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>You're she would find the right irony for your punishment...
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>You shudder.
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>Blueblood wants answers. "Well!?"
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>You sigh.
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>"I'm here to prank Celestia."
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>He tilts his head. "Prank?"
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>"Yes, prank. It's sort of like a game we play, we try to mess with each other whenever we meet."
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>That was the best explanation you had for your relationship with Celestia.
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>Blueblood leans his head towards you. "What kind of prank?"
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>You grab his ear and whisper your plan to him.
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>A devious smile parts Bluebloods lips as he hears what you have in store.
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>"And you're sure it would work?" he says.
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>You simply nod.
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>"Then get up, I'll help you get past the guards." he says.
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>Whoa what?
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>"You're helping me? Why?"
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>You never did anything for this guy.
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>"Maybe I can just appreciate a good prank?" he says with a smirk.
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>Holy shit, did you just make a bro?
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>Broblood signals you back to him as he walks a few feet back.
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>"Play along." he whispers.
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>"And so there I was, with cake all over my new tie, when who walks in? But the duke of Trottingham."
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>He leads you down the halls past the guards as he talks, he must not have guests because they seem a bit shocked.
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>"I was so embarresed, I ran as fast as I could into the bathroom to wash up, luckily the dukes lovely daughter was kind enough-"
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>He throws you around a corner and peeks back at the guards.
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>"They aren't moving." he whispers.
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>"Where to?" he says as he turns back to you.
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>This was starting to look up.
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>"The roof, that's the best bet."
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>"Follow me." he says with a grin.
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>The royal apartments had quite a few guards.
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>Luckily, your new companion was able to talk his way past every single one of them.
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>"There it is." Bluebro says pointing towards a wooden door at the end of the hall.
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>You make for the door when a familiarly regal voice stops you. "Nephew?"
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>You both spin around. "A-Aunt Luna?" Blueblood. says.
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>Luna walks towards the two of you. "What, may We ask, art the two of you doing?"
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>Luna motions towards your backpack. "And what is that thou carries?"
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>Shit think fast.
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>"Blueblood and I met at the market yesterday...and...he was giving me a tour of the palace."
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>Luna looks confused. "Then, why art thou headed for the roof?
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>Fuck.
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>"The view?"
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>Luna takes a step towards Blueblood and smiles. "We are proud of thee nephew! Tis so nice to see thee making friends after the...unpleasantness...at the Grand Galloping Gala."
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>Blueblood doesn't miss a beat. "Thank you Aunt Luna, it's nice to be making friends."
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>"Well, we shan't keep you from your day." Luna says as she walks off.
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>Blueblood and you both exhale a sigh of relief and enter the door to the roof staircase behind you.
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>The staircase leads you to a door with the best view you've ever seen.
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>You can see almost all of Canterlot from up here. From the main gates and the train station, to the Wonderbolts stadium. You can even spot your hotel.
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>The sun was starting it's decent, giving you plenty of afternoon light to disrupt an afternoon delight.
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>Bluebro leads you to his best approximation of where Celestia's roof is.
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>You hear it before you get there.
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>Shit. You didn't have much time if the growing crescendo of their voices was any indicator.
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>You throw your bag down and start unpacking your things.
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>"So, what did Luna mean by 'unpleasantness'?"
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>Blueblood sighs "Up until recently, I was a selfish, bigoted, ungrateful pony who was only interested in himself. At the latest Grand Galloping Gala, it finally came to a head when I tossed a mare in front of me to avoid a falling cake."
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>That sounds like a tale.
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>"It culminated with the mare screaming at me and driving me away. When I heard what the other ponies were saying about me...I..I couldn't bare it, because every word of it was true. From that day on, I have strived towards self improvement in an attempt to assuage the damage I have done.
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>Damn, you could feel for him.
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>Having a shit reputation is the worst, especially around people you like.
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>"Hey. I don't care what everyone else says, you did good by me today. Thanks"
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>You hold out your fist, Bluebro bumps his hoof against it.
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>"You should get out of here, Celestia will be pissed when she hears."
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>"Are you sure you can handle her?" he asks with concern in his eyes.
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>You smirk.
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>"Don't worry, Bro. This was the plan all along."
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>Bluebro nods and gallops off to the door you entered.
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>The voices coming from the open window below you were getting more intense.
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>Nothing to do now but wait...
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>You were Princess Celestia, and you were getting laid.
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>You had met him at the derby yesterday, Fancypants, his name was.
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>He had spoken about a mare companion often, but it seemed they were on a break.
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>Which was perfect, Fancypants was good at this.
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>"Ah...come on...come on..."
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>Fancypants increased his fervor.
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>Just then, a sound wafted through your window.
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>The sound of music.
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>It sounded like something with strings.
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>Was the royal band practicing? Oh well, didn't matter.
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>"Ah! Right there! Don't stop!"
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>Fancypants grunted and started giving it his all.
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>By the stars, you were close.
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>"Keep going!"
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>That music was still continuing.
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>Where was that coming fro-aaaaahhhh!
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>Any second now...
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>That music was really nice...
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>But where was it...
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>Just then, the music got words.
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>"Here comes the sun..."
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>WHAT?
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>"WHAAAAAAAHHHHHH!?"
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>NO!
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>NO DAMMIT NO!
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>THAT MUSIC RUINED IT!
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>"P-Princess?" Fancypants spoke.
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>"Wait here."
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>You were more terse with him then you wanted, but what did he expect? This ruined your afternoon.
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>You fly off your balcony and follow the source of the music.
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>Was it coming from the roof?
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>You flew up and saw the source of the disturbance.
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>Him.
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>He was laying on your roof, head in hand, grinning like a madman.
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>Next to him sat a small white square that was projecting the music you heard.
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>He spoke.
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>"Princess Celestia, has anyone ever told you that you would make an absolutely lovely tenor?"
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-Optional music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6tV11acSRk-
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-Mous PoV-
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>Shit eating grin: ON MOTHERFUCKER.
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>Music: Staying on, who doesn't like The Beatles?
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>Celestia, it seems.
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>She landed on the roof a few feet away.
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>"Hello Princess, like my little concert?"
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>She just glared at you. "What are you doing here?"
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>You carefully got up, this joke would be ruined if you went and fell off the damn roof.
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>"Why, just seranading Canterlot with some music from my world. I was in the area and I thought "You know, the Princess would really like some of this music, and I have to pay her back for checking on me during estrus." so I worked my way up here, found your room, and here I am.
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>"Why, I didn't interrupt anything, did I?"
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>You stared her down.
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>This was your biggest gamble, whether she would take it well.
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>Her eyes stare right into yours.
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>You can't break contact here, if this goes tits up, your gall might be the only thing that saves you from a trip to the moon.
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>You were peripherally watching her mouth for the signs of...
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>Yes!
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>"I think I see a smile..."
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>Celestia quickly turns her head away as she works to regain her composure.
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>You still hear a few giggles escape.
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>"I'm glad you enjoyed my show, Princess."
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>She turns back to you, composure restored, but a smile present.
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>"Yes, very elaborate, very fitting. You certainly have thought this through, haven't you?"
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>You give a wide shrug.
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>"I told you, I'm a bit of an odd guy."
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>You cross your arms and begin to relax...this isn't over yet.
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>Celestia takes a step closer "However."
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>And there it is.
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>"There is the matter of how you managed to sneak directly above my room in the royal palace, I'm sure my Captain of the Guard would like to have a word with you about that."
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>Hmm...you could work with this.
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>"Come on Celestia, there's no fun in that. At least give me a handicap."
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>"Such as?" she asks as she opens her mouth into an unnaturally wide grin and flutters her eyelashes.
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>"Three hour head start."
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>"Two."
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>"One and a half, and the guards don't know what they're looking for and can't follow outside of the city."
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>Celestia stares at you for a second. "Deal."
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>You extend your hand.
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>"Shake on it."
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>Celestia extends her hoof, you grab it and give it a good shake.
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>"Well then, I suppose I better get moving? You should go see to your boyfriend. I'm sure he can help you with that Cyan Cunt you have now."
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>Celestia just stares at you confused.
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>"Oh, just get out of here."
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>What was the female term for blue balls anyway?
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>You haul it back to the hotel, Anon and Rainbow better be there and not naked or you're leaving without them.
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>You run up the stairs and burst into the room.
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>Rainbow and Anon are sitting on the couch together watching TV. "Dude, we have to get cable at the house." Anon says.
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>"No time. Pack. We're going."
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>Anon looks confused and alarmed. "Uh...Dude? Is something wrong?"
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>You don't have the time for this.
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>You grab Anon by the shoulders.
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>"You know how bros have that thing where they sometimes need you to not say a word and just go along with whatever they say? And he'll handle everything?"
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>Anon shakes his head wordlessly.
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>"Well, this is that time. We have, like, twenty minutes to get out of the city before the guards get he-"
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>You hear shouting from outside.
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>You run to the window and pear out. It looked like half the royal legion was outside
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>Some white unicorn in a purple accented suit of armor was calling out orders. "Spread out! We're looking for anything out of the ordinary!"
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>This was against the deal, but you found yourself smiling.
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>"Celestia you bitch..."
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>This reminds you of a song...how did it go?
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>Oh yeah, Dat bass line.
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>Anon grabs your shoulder. "What's going on, dude?"
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>You reach into your bag and pull out your sunglasses.
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>Sunglasses you slowly lower onto your face as you recite the words you've wanted to for so long.
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>"I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together."
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>Okay.
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>3.
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>2.
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>1.
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>Let's Jam!
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- 267.
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>You, Anon and Dash burst out of the hotel back door.
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>Get to the train station.
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>Alert no guards.
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>"This way."
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>You lead them through an alley to the street behind the hotel.
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>"You sure this is a good idea, Bro!?" Anon shouts.
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>You turn to shout back at him.
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>"Of course it is!"
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>He looked scared.
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>You must still have your psycho grin on.
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>Shit pegusi in the air.
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>"Under that overhang!"
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>You can see the train station.
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>There's a squad of guards out front.
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>"Mous, guards!" Anon cries.
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>"I'll handle this, just run past them!" you call back.
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>Anon and Rainbow blow past the bewildered guards as you grab the one in the lead.
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>"You have to stop him! There's some crazy Gryphon in that store and he's holding them hostage!
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>"W-what!?" the guard says. "Come on, this could be it!" he calls to his friends.
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>Ha. Idiot.
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>You all get through the turnstile and look for your train.
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>"There it is!" Rainbow cries.
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>Fuck! It was pulling out!
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>You all race towards the rapidly leaving train.
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>"There they are, get em!" you hear from over your shoulder.
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>A quick peek; Fuck! Guards!
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>"Rainbow, carry Anon and land on that caboose!"
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>Rainbow grabs Anon under the armpits and carries him to the train.
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>Only have you now.
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>"Outa my way!" you shout to the ponies in front of you.
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>You can hear the guards hot on your tail.
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>The train leaves the platform.
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>Gotta jump!
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>You grab ahold of the bars on the back and Rainbow and Anon pull you up.
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>Eat your heart out James Bond.
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>You turn and flip the guards back on the station the bird.
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>All earth ponies. Nice.
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>You turn to Anon.
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>"See, told you I'd take care of everything."
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