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=BiE 32=
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>Nine hours.
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>NINE.
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>CUNTING.
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>HOURS.
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>This wedding had better be worth it.
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>There had better be shit loads of cake.
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>You stood in the Fillydelphia train hub and looked around.
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>Passing ponies were staring at you with either fear or revulsion.
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>It smelled like gas and piss.
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So just like Philly back home?
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>Looks that way brain.
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>You walked out of the train station and headed down the road.
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>You kept your eye's high. Fillydelphia certainly inherited the right skyline.
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>It almost made you forget where you were.
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>You were glad you could get off for this.
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>It helped that you were dating your boss.
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>She said she'd give you a bonus if you caught the bouquet for her.
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Hehe. "Bonus."
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>Dammit brain, we've been dating for like, three weeks tops. That's not what she meant.
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Yeah, but she wouldn't mind if we thought it's what she meant.
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>Piss off.
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Someone's afraid.
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>I am not afraid...I'm taking it slow.
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Out of fear.
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>Out of respect.
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Respect for what? She kissed you on the introductory date. I'm pretty sure I felt tongue.
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>Piss off. I'm done with you.
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I can taste your fear from here.
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>You frown.
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>Your brain was an asshole.
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>You cross through the center of the city.
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>Chariots were locked in an eternal gridlock in the roads.
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>The streets were chocked with passersby and the occasional tourist.
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>Every one of them was staring at you.
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>You didn't mind it, but goddamn.
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>You were glad you lived in a small town.
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>The trio of guards that were following you didn't help.
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>Ever since the train station.
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Just like Earth.
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>Seems that way.
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>You cross through the center of the city.
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>Dammit. Where was this hotel Lyra and Bon Bon said to go to?
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>A shouting pegasus in a pavilion catches your ear.
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>"This 'order' that the Princesses have set up is against the very nature of the world! Hiding us all away from the chaos of life has made us weak! Complacent!"
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>Who's this douchebag?
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Religious nut?
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>Never a shortage of those in the city...
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>You walk away as he starts to yammer about some crap that happened a millennium ago that you didn't give a shit about.
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>You finally arrive at the hotel.
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>Not a bad place, marble floors, brass accents.
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>Swanky.
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>You walk up to the front desk and ring the bell on it.
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>Some snooty looking pony walks out, he takes one look at you and frowns. "Can I help you...sir?"
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>Stay calm, play it co-
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Kick his ass.
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>Fuck off brain.
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>"Yes, I'm here for the Bon Bon - Heartstrings affair.
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>He raises his eyebrow at that and levitates a key to you. "I have also been instructed to direct any...pony to the dining hall at 7..."
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>You nod and head towards the elevator.
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>Racist asshole.
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>Your room is midway up, overlooking the north side of the city.
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>Cool, no sun in your face.
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I wonder if the West side is still dangerous here...
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>You look at the clock. 5 in the evening.
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>You collapse on your bed.
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>Leaving town at the same time you normally woke up was not fun.
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>And bullshit could you sleep on a seat not designed for you.
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>It would be nice to rest a bit...
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We need to talk.
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>Or would have been.
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>What?
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About Lotus.
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>This shit again? What?
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How do you feel about her?
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>I kissed her goodbye today, I'd say I feel pretty good about her.
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You know what I mean.
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>I really don't...
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You can't lie to me. I'm you. The honest side, it seems.
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We need to talk about what Lotus means.
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>What she means?
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Lotus is the first sentient life form we have shown interest in. Ever.
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>And?
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And that signifies a change. A change in our personality.
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>How do you know we weren't a horsefucker this entire time?
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Because we'd been here two months and not shown any interest. Even when their immortal god-empress propositioned us. Even when we had our current special somep0ny and her twin sister locked up in our house.
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>We were not taking advantage of Aloe and Lotus over Estrus, That's sick.
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And Celestia?
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>My way is more fun.
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But somehow, Lotus gets through. What did she do?
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>You know wha-
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And why did you reciprocate?
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>You were there, you kno-
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I know you, you're committed until this thing goes down. Why here and not on Earth?
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>...
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Well?
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>She was nice to us.
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>No one is ever nice to us.
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>She gave us a job after a look and a test we bullshitted through.
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>She was the only pony in town to worry about us after the manticore.
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>I don't know where this is going, but Lotus deserves a shot with the guy she thinks we are.
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And that's enough?
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>If she can get us to date her, who knows what else she can do?
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...
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>Yeah. Thought so.
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Yo, wake up.
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>You wake up in a puddle of your own drool.
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>The clock says 6:45.
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>Fuck, get up lazy ass.
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>The dining hall was nice.
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>Big. Very big. Big enough for the hundreds of ponies that were in it.
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>The hundreds of ponies now looking at you in silence.
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>Shit. Uh...
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>"Hi, Everyp0ny!"
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Hi, Doctor Mous!
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>Eat shit.
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>"Mous!" you hear from your side.
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>You turn to spot Lyra galloping towards you, Bon Bon right behind her.
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>"Finally, the guest of honor has arrived!" she said.
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>Guest of honor? What?
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>"Nice to see you Lyra."
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>"Oh, let me try this out!" she says as she lifts her leg and her horn starts to glow.
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>A minty green hand forms at the end of Lyra's hoof.
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>You grab and shake the hand. Damn, it feels just like flesh, even down to the heat emanating.
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>"Someone's been practicing."
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>Bon Bon finally catches up with her bride to be. "Oh...she's been practicing all right."
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>She nuzzles Lyra.
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>We gave two lesbians hands.
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Hands we then shook.
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>Gross
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Gross.
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>"Come meet my dad, Mous!"
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>Lyra leads to back to a table being set up.
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>Standing next to it is an elderly unicorn with a brushed back mane, a forest green coat, and a red jacket.
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>Various medals and ribbons hung on it.
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A guard vet, so it seems.
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>So it seems.
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>Time to impress.
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>"Good day, sir."
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>You toss up a salute, one that he returns with a smile.
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>"Ah, hello my boy. Captain Harmonica, good to see a guest with respect to the guard."
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Holy shit, his voice.
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>This man could conceive children with his voice alone.
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>"Of course, Sir. I have met many guards and respect the work they do."
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Getting chased out of Canterlot doesn't count as meeting guards.
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>Shut up, I don't want him to talk and make our heart stop.
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>"Dad, I was gonna bring Mous along to the party tonight, is that okay with you?"
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>Lyra was giving the Harmonica the puppy dog eyes.
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>"Of course sweetheart, the more the merrier."
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>Harmonica walks off and you approach Lyra.
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>"Party?"
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>She gives you a big grin.
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>"My bachelorette party! We're gonna show these Fillydelphians how it's done!"
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Lesbian pony party?
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>Shit, I'm game.
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>You collapse back on to your bed around 3:00.
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>Ow.
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>Ow.
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>Oh ow.
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>Brain, stop trying to kill us.
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HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED HOW LOUD YOU COULD YELL!?
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>Aaaaaah.
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>I am initiating emergency consciousness override.
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>Piss off brain.
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THE CANDY MAN MAKES, EVERYTHING HE BA-
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>...
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>Silence.
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>Good.
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>Damn. Lyra can fucking drink.
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>Not so much Harmonica...surprisingly.
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>Somewhere between the third club and the fire, you sorta spaced.
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>Somepony fucking spiked your drink, it's the only explanation.
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>Oh well, at least you can think and don't have to move anymore.
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>Don't even really have to think anymore with brain offline...
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>...
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>I wonder how Lotus is doing.
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>Dammit. Brain was fucking with you even when he wasn't there.
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>It was normal to think about them so often this early, right?
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>Right?
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>You were still you, right?
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>Dammit. You need someone here.
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>Brain! Wake the fuck up!
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ZZZzzzZZzzZzzZZzzz
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>Asshole.
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I'm here man.
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>Heart?
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At your service.
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>Oh good, what's our blood alcohol level at?
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A little bit passed pissed.
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>Shit.
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Yeah.
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>So, can you help? Why are we thinking about Lotus so much?
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Well duh dude, it's because we like her.
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>...we do?
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Is that not obvious?
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>I don't know, we never liked someone before.
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Come on man. We may be weird, but we've seen enough cartoons and daytime soaps to know what it's like to like somepony.
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>So... is this good?
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I'm a bit biased here, but I think it is. Lotus is good for us.
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>How?
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We've gotten our ass kicked for Anon a bunch of times, now we have somep0ny who'll kick our ass herself if that happens.
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>And how is that good?
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It makes us think of new options, maybe ones that don't involve hostage situations?
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>That only happened once...
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Also, you know, we like her. Quite a bit. That's a good reason on it's own.
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>Lyra and Bon Bon were well on their way to Canterbury for the honeymoon.
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>Here's hoping they actually get out of the hotel room.
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>The wedding went off without a hitch.
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>No protesters against a same sex marriage, no time traveling blue boxes, no dinosaurs.
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What was that last one?
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>Brain! Good of you to join us!
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What did we drink last night?
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>Lol I 'unno.
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Where are we?
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>Train back home, should be getting close. It's about nine at night.
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Why are we still in our tux?
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>"Cause all the girls crazy 'bout a"
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SHARP
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>DRESSED
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MAN
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>Yeah.
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You're a dork.
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>You sang along too.
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But seriously, why the tux?
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>Maybe I just like to dress to impress for special events?
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Whoa. Wait. Did you plan something without me?
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>It's a surprise.
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We hate surprises!
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>MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
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>You pull into the station as you put Brain on silent.
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>Bag over your shoulder, you head to the front.
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>Where is she...
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>"Dressed up just for me? I'm touched."
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>You spun around and saw Lotus sitting on a bench, she hopped off and trotted over to you.
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>You put your bag on the ground and sit at eye level with her.
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Dude, what are you doing!?
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>"Hey there pretty pony."
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>You had spent the entire train ride back thinking of that, you were very proud.
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>You grab her chin and kiss her.
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>Longer then you normally did.
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>Deeper too.
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>You didn't feel obligated to do this, nor did you feel uncomfortable about doing it in public.
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>You break off and press your forehead against her.
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>"Mous! What was that for?" she squealed.
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>Her cheeks were red, even through her coat.
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>She was cute when she was surprised.
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>"Just happy to be home."
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