BiE 32: Heart to Heart.

=BiE 32=

>Nine hours.
>NINE.
>CUNTING.
>HOURS.
>This wedding had better be worth it.
>There had better be shit loads of cake.
>You stood in the Fillydelphia train hub and looked around.
>Passing ponies were staring at you with either fear or revulsion.
>It smelled like gas and piss.
So just like Philly back home?
>Looks that way brain.
>You walked out of the train station and headed down the road.
>You kept your eye's high. Fillydelphia certainly inherited the right skyline.
>It almost made you forget where you were.
>You were glad you could get off for this.
>It helped that you were dating your boss.
>She said she'd give you a bonus if you caught the bouquet for her.
Hehe. "Bonus."
>Dammit brain, we've been dating for like, three weeks tops. That's not what she meant.
Yeah, but she wouldn't mind if we thought it's what she meant.
>Piss off.
Someone's afraid.
>I am not afraid...I'm taking it slow.
Out of fear.
>Out of respect.
Respect for what? She kissed you on the introductory date. I'm pretty sure I felt tongue.
>Piss off. I'm done with you.
I can taste your fear from here.
>You frown.
>Your brain was an asshole.

>You cross through the center of the city.
>Chariots were locked in an eternal gridlock in the roads.
>The streets were chocked with passersby and the occasional tourist.
>Every one of them was staring at you.
>You didn't mind it, but goddamn.
>You were glad you lived in a small town.
>The trio of guards that were following you didn't help.
>Ever since the train station.
Just like Earth.
>Seems that way.
>You cross through the center of the city.
>Dammit. Where was this hotel Lyra and Bon Bon said to go to?
>A shouting pegasus in a pavilion catches your ear.
>"This 'order' that the Princesses have set up is against the very nature of the world! Hiding us all away from the chaos of life has made us weak! Complacent!"
>Who's this douchebag?
Religious nut?
>Never a shortage of those in the city...
>You walk away as he starts to yammer about some crap that happened a millennium ago that you didn't give a shit about.

>You finally arrive at the hotel.
>Not a bad place, marble floors, brass accents.
>Swanky.
>You walk up to the front desk and ring the bell on it.
>Some snooty looking pony walks out, he takes one look at you and frowns. "Can I help you...sir?"
>Stay calm, play it co-
Kick his ass.
>Fuck off brain.
>"Yes, I'm here for the Bon Bon - Heartstrings affair.
>He raises his eyebrow at that and levitates a key to you. "I have also been instructed to direct any...pony to the dining hall at 7..."
>You nod and head towards the elevator.
>Racist asshole.
>Your room is midway up, overlooking the north side of the city.
>Cool, no sun in your face.
I wonder if the West side is still dangerous here...
>You look at the clock. 5 in the evening.
>You collapse on your bed.
>Leaving town at the same time you normally woke up was not fun.
>And bullshit could you sleep on a seat not designed for you.
>It would be nice to rest a bit...
We need to talk.
>Or would have been.

>What?
About Lotus.
>This shit again? What?
How do you feel about her?
>I kissed her goodbye today, I'd say I feel pretty good about her.
You know what I mean.
>I really don't...
You can't lie to me. I'm you. The honest side, it seems.
We need to talk about what Lotus means.
>What she means?
Lotus is the first sentient life form we have shown interest in. Ever.
>And?
And that signifies a change. A change in our personality.
>How do you know we weren't a horsefucker this entire time?
Because we'd been here two months and not shown any interest. Even when their immortal god-empress propositioned us. Even when we had our current special somep0ny and her twin sister locked up in our house.
>We were not taking advantage of Aloe and Lotus over Estrus, That's sick.
And Celestia?
>My way is more fun.
But somehow, Lotus gets through. What did she do?
>You know wha-
And why did you reciprocate?
>You were there, you kno-
I know you, you're committed until this thing goes down. Why here and not on Earth?
>...
Well?
>She was nice to us.
>No one is ever nice to us.
>She gave us a job after a look and a test we bullshitted through.
>She was the only pony in town to worry about us after the manticore.
>I don't know where this is going, but Lotus deserves a shot with the guy she thinks we are.
And that's enough?
>If she can get us to date her, who knows what else she can do?
...
>Yeah. Thought so.
Yo, wake up.
>You wake up in a puddle of your own drool.
>The clock says 6:45.
>Fuck, get up lazy ass.

>The dining hall was nice.
>Big. Very big. Big enough for the hundreds of ponies that were in it.
>The hundreds of ponies now looking at you in silence.
>Shit. Uh...
>"Hi, Everyp0ny!"
Hi, Doctor Mous!
>Eat shit.
>"Mous!" you hear from your side.
>You turn to spot Lyra galloping towards you, Bon Bon right behind her.
>"Finally, the guest of honor has arrived!" she said.
>Guest of honor? What?
>"Nice to see you Lyra."
>"Oh, let me try this out!" she says as she lifts her leg and her horn starts to glow.
>A minty green hand forms at the end of Lyra's hoof.
>You grab and shake the hand. Damn, it feels just like flesh, even down to the heat emanating.
>"Someone's been practicing."
>Bon Bon finally catches up with her bride to be. "Oh...she's been practicing all right."
>She nuzzles Lyra.
>We gave two lesbians hands.
Hands we then shook.
>Gross
Gross.

>"Come meet my dad, Mous!"
>Lyra leads to back to a table being set up.
>Standing next to it is an elderly unicorn with a brushed back mane, a forest green coat, and a red jacket.
>Various medals and ribbons hung on it.
A guard vet, so it seems.
>So it seems.
>Time to impress.
>"Good day, sir."
>You toss up a salute, one that he returns with a smile.
>"Ah, hello my boy. Captain Harmonica, good to see a guest with respect to the guard."
Holy shit, his voice.
>This man could conceive children with his voice alone.
>"Of course, Sir. I have met many guards and respect the work they do."
Getting chased out of Canterlot doesn't count as meeting guards.
>Shut up, I don't want him to talk and make our heart stop.
>"Dad, I was gonna bring Mous along to the party tonight, is that okay with you?"
>Lyra was giving the Harmonica the puppy dog eyes.
>"Of course sweetheart, the more the merrier."
>Harmonica walks off and you approach Lyra.
>"Party?"
>She gives you a big grin.
>"My bachelorette party! We're gonna show these Fillydelphians how it's done!"
Lesbian pony party?
>Shit, I'm game.

>You collapse back on to your bed around 3:00.
>Ow.
>Ow.
>Oh ow.
>Brain, stop trying to kill us.
HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED HOW LOUD YOU COULD YELL!?
>Aaaaaah.
>I am initiating emergency consciousness override.
>Piss off brain.
THE CANDY MAN MAKES, EVERYTHING HE BA-
>...
>Silence.
>Good.
>Damn. Lyra can fucking drink.
>Not so much Harmonica...surprisingly.
>Somewhere between the third club and the fire, you sorta spaced.
>Somepony fucking spiked your drink, it's the only explanation.
>Oh well, at least you can think and don't have to move anymore.
>Don't even really have to think anymore with brain offline...
>...
>I wonder how Lotus is doing.
>Dammit. Brain was fucking with you even when he wasn't there.
>It was normal to think about them so often this early, right?
>Right?
>You were still you, right?
>Dammit. You need someone here.
>Brain! Wake the fuck up!
ZZZzzzZZzzZzzZZzzz
>Asshole.
I'm here man.
>Heart?
At your service.
>Oh good, what's our blood alcohol level at?
A little bit passed pissed.
>Shit.
Yeah.
>So, can you help? Why are we thinking about Lotus so much?
Well duh dude, it's because we like her.
>...we do?
Is that not obvious?
>I don't know, we never liked someone before.
Come on man. We may be weird, but we've seen enough cartoons and daytime soaps to know what it's like to like somepony.
>So... is this good?
I'm a bit biased here, but I think it is. Lotus is good for us.
>How?
We've gotten our ass kicked for Anon a bunch of times, now we have somep0ny who'll kick our ass herself if that happens.
>And how is that good?
It makes us think of new options, maybe ones that don't involve hostage situations?
>That only happened once...
Also, you know, we like her. Quite a bit. That's a good reason on it's own.

>Lyra and Bon Bon were well on their way to Canterbury for the honeymoon.
>Here's hoping they actually get out of the hotel room.
>The wedding went off without a hitch.
>No protesters against a same sex marriage, no time traveling blue boxes, no dinosaurs.
What was that last one?
>Brain! Good of you to join us!
What did we drink last night?
>Lol I 'unno.
Where are we?
>Train back home, should be getting close. It's about nine at night.
Why are we still in our tux?
>"Cause all the girls crazy 'bout a"
SHARP
>DRESSED
MAN
>Yeah.
You're a dork.
>You sang along too.
But seriously, why the tux?
>Maybe I just like to dress to impress for special events?
Whoa. Wait. Did you plan something without me?
>It's a surprise.
We hate surprises!
>MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
>You pull into the station as you put Brain on silent.
>Bag over your shoulder, you head to the front.
>Where is she...
>"Dressed up just for me? I'm touched."
>You spun around and saw Lotus sitting on a bench, she hopped off and trotted over to you.
>You put your bag on the ground and sit at eye level with her.
Dude, what are you doing!?
>"Hey there pretty pony."
>You had spent the entire train ride back thinking of that, you were very proud.
>You grab her chin and kiss her.
>Longer then you normally did.
>Deeper too.
>You didn't feel obligated to do this, nor did you feel uncomfortable about doing it in public.
>You break off and press your forehead against her.
>"Mous! What was that for?" she squealed.
>Her cheeks were red, even through her coat.
>She was cute when she was surprised.
>"Just happy to be home."