BiE 32: Heart to Heart.


                                            =BiE 32=


                                            >Nine hours.

                                            >NINE.

                                            >CUNTING.

                                            >HOURS.

                                            >This wedding had better be worth it.

                                            >There had better be shit loads of cake.

                                            >You stood in the Fillydelphia train hub and looked around.

                                            >Passing ponies were staring at you with either fear or revulsion.

                                            >It smelled like gas and piss.

                                            So just like Philly back home?

                                            >Looks that way brain.

                                            >You walked out of the train station and headed down the road.

                                            >You kept your eye's high. Fillydelphia certainly inherited the right skyline.

                                            >It almost made you forget where you were.

                                            >You were glad you could get off for this.

                                            >It helped that you were dating your boss.

                                            >She said she'd give you a bonus if you caught the bouquet for her.

                                            Hehe. "Bonus."

                                            >Dammit brain, we've been dating for like, three weeks tops. That's not what she meant.

                                            Yeah, but she wouldn't mind if we thought it's what she meant.

                                            >Piss off.

                                            Someone's afraid.

                                            >I am not afraid...I'm taking it slow.

                                            Out of fear.

                                            >Out of respect.

                                            Respect for what? She kissed you on the introductory date. I'm pretty sure I felt tongue.

                                            >Piss off. I'm done with you.

                                            I can taste your fear from here.

                                            >You frown.

                                            >Your brain was an asshole.


                                            >You cross through the center of the city.

                                            >Chariots were locked in an eternal gridlock in the roads.

                                            >The streets were chocked with passersby and the occasional tourist.

                                            >Every one of them was staring at you.

                                            >You didn't mind it, but goddamn.

                                            >You were glad you lived in a small town.

                                            >The trio of guards that were following you didn't help.

                                            >Ever since the train station.

                                            Just like Earth.

                                            >Seems that way.

                                            >You cross through the center of the city.

                                            >Dammit. Where was this hotel Lyra and Bon Bon said to go to?

                                            >A shouting pegasus in a pavilion catches your ear.

                                            >"This 'order' that the Princesses have set up is against the very nature of the world! Hiding us all away from the chaos of life has made us weak! Complacent!"

                                            >Who's this douchebag?

                                            Religious nut?

                                            >Never a shortage of those in the city...

                                            >You walk away as he starts to yammer about some crap that happened a millennium ago that you didn't give a shit about.


                                            >You finally arrive at the hotel.

                                            >Not a bad place, marble floors, brass accents.

                                            >Swanky.

                                            >You walk up to the front desk and ring the bell on it.

                                            >Some snooty looking pony walks out, he takes one look at you and frowns. "Can I help you...sir?"

                                            >Stay calm, play it co-

                                            Kick his ass.

                                            >Fuck off brain.

                                            >"Yes, I'm here for the Bon Bon - Heartstrings affair.

                                            >He raises his eyebrow at that and levitates a key to you. "I have also been instructed to direct any...pony to the dining hall at 7..."

                                            >You nod and head towards the elevator.

                                            >Racist asshole.

                                            >Your room is midway up, overlooking the north side of the city.

                                            >Cool, no sun in your face.

                                            I wonder if the West side is still dangerous here...

                                            >You look at the clock. 5 in the evening.

                                            >You collapse on your bed.

                                            >Leaving town at the same time you normally woke up was not fun.

                                            >And bullshit could you sleep on a seat not designed for you.

                                            >It would be nice to rest a bit...

                                            We need to talk.

                                            >Or would have been.


                                            >What?

                                            About Lotus.

                                            >This shit again? What?

                                            How do you feel about her?

                                            >I kissed her goodbye today, I'd say I feel pretty good about her.

                                            You know what I mean.

                                            >I really don't...

                                            You can't lie to me. I'm you. The honest side, it seems.

                                            We need to talk about what Lotus means.

                                            >What she means?

                                            Lotus is the first sentient life form we have shown interest in. Ever.

                                            >And?

                                            And that signifies a change. A change in our personality.

                                            >How do you know we weren't a horsefucker this entire time?

                                            Because we'd been here two months and not shown any interest. Even when their immortal god-empress propositioned us. Even when we had our current special somep0ny and her twin sister locked up in our house.

                                            >We were not taking advantage of Aloe and Lotus over Estrus, That's sick.

                                            And Celestia?

                                            >My way is more fun.

                                            But somehow, Lotus gets through. What did she do?

                                            >You know wha-

                                            And why did you reciprocate?

                                            >You were there, you kno-

                                            I know you, you're committed until this thing goes down. Why here and not on Earth?

                                            >...

                                            Well?

                                            >She was nice to us.

                                            >No one is ever nice to us.

                                            >She gave us a job after a look and a test we bullshitted through.

                                            >She was the only pony in town to worry about us after the manticore.

                                            >I don't know where this is going, but Lotus deserves a shot with the guy she thinks we are.

                                            And that's enough?

                                            >If she can get us to date her, who knows what else she can do?

                                            ...

                                            >Yeah. Thought so.

                                            Yo, wake up.

                                            >You wake up in a puddle of your own drool.

                                            >The clock says 6:45.

                                            >Fuck, get up lazy ass.


                                            >The dining hall was nice.

                                            >Big. Very big. Big enough for the hundreds of ponies that were in it.

                                            >The hundreds of ponies now looking at you in silence.

                                            >Shit. Uh...

                                            >"Hi, Everyp0ny!"

                                            Hi, Doctor Mous!

                                            >Eat shit.

                                            >"Mous!" you hear from your side.

                                            >You turn to spot Lyra galloping towards you, Bon Bon right behind her.

                                            >"Finally, the guest of honor has arrived!" she said.

                                            >Guest of honor? What?

                                            >"Nice to see you Lyra."

                                            >"Oh, let me try this out!" she says as she lifts her leg and her horn starts to glow.

                                            >A minty green hand forms at the end of Lyra's hoof.

                                            >You grab and shake the hand. Damn, it feels just like flesh, even down to the heat emanating.

                                            >"Someone's been practicing."

                                            >Bon Bon finally catches up with her bride to be. "Oh...she's been practicing all right."

                                            >She nuzzles Lyra.

                                            >We gave two lesbians hands.

                                            Hands we then shook.

                                            >Gross

                                            Gross.


                                            >"Come meet my dad, Mous!"

                                            >Lyra leads to back to a table being set up.

                                            >Standing next to it is an elderly unicorn with a brushed back mane, a forest green coat, and a red jacket.

                                            >Various medals and ribbons hung on it.

                                            A guard vet, so it seems.

                                            >So it seems.

                                            >Time to impress.

                                            >"Good day, sir."

                                            >You toss up a salute, one that he returns with a smile.

                                            >"Ah, hello my boy. Captain Harmonica, good to see a guest with respect to the guard."

                                            Holy shit, his voice.

                                            >This man could conceive children with his voice alone.

                                            >"Of course, Sir. I have met many guards and respect the work they do."

                                            Getting chased out of Canterlot doesn't count as meeting guards.

                                            >Shut up, I don't want him to talk and make our heart stop.

                                            >"Dad, I was gonna bring Mous along to the party tonight, is that okay with you?"

                                            >Lyra was giving the Harmonica the puppy dog eyes.

                                            >"Of course sweetheart, the more the merrier."

                                            >Harmonica walks off and you approach Lyra.

                                            >"Party?"

                                            >She gives you a big grin.

                                            >"My bachelorette party! We're gonna show these Fillydelphians how it's done!"

                                            Lesbian pony party?

                                            >Shit, I'm game.


                                            >You collapse back on to your bed around 3:00.

                                            >Ow.

                                            >Ow.

                                            >Oh ow.

                                            >Brain, stop trying to kill us.

                                            HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED HOW LOUD YOU COULD YELL!?

                                            >Aaaaaah.

                                            >I am initiating emergency consciousness override.

                                            >Piss off brain.

                                            THE CANDY MAN MAKES, EVERYTHING HE BA-

                                            >...

                                            >Silence.

                                            >Good.

                                            >Damn. Lyra can fucking drink.

                                            >Not so much Harmonica...surprisingly.

                                            >Somewhere between the third club and the fire, you sorta spaced.

                                            >Somepony fucking spiked your drink, it's the only explanation.

                                            >Oh well, at least you can think and don't have to move anymore.

                                            >Don't even really have to think anymore with brain offline...

                                            >...

                                            >I wonder how Lotus is doing.

                                            >Dammit. Brain was fucking with you even when he wasn't there.

                                            >It was normal to think about them so often this early, right?

                                            >Right?

                                            >You were still you, right?

                                            >Dammit. You need someone here.

                                            >Brain! Wake the fuck up!

                                            ZZZzzzZZzzZzzZZzzz

                                            >Asshole.

                                            I'm here man.

                                            >Heart?

                                            At your service.

                                            >Oh good, what's our blood alcohol level at?

                                            A little bit passed pissed.

                                            >Shit.

                                            Yeah.

                                            >So, can you help? Why are we thinking about Lotus so much?

                                            Well duh dude, it's because we like her.

                                            >...we do?

                                            Is that not obvious?

                                            >I don't know, we never liked someone before.

                                            Come on man. We may be weird, but we've seen enough cartoons and daytime soaps to know what it's like to like somepony.

                                            >So... is this good?

                                            I'm a bit biased here, but I think it is. Lotus is good for us.

                                            >How?

                                            We've gotten our ass kicked for Anon a bunch of times, now we have somep0ny who'll kick our ass herself if that happens.

                                            >And how is that good?

                                            It makes us think of new options, maybe ones that don't involve hostage situations?

                                            >That only happened once...

                                            Also, you know, we like her. Quite a bit. That's a good reason on it's own.


                                            >Lyra and Bon Bon were well on their way to Canterbury for the honeymoon.

                                            >Here's hoping they actually get out of the hotel room.

                                            >The wedding went off without a hitch.

                                            >No protesters against a same sex marriage, no time traveling blue boxes, no dinosaurs.

                                            What was that last one?

                                            >Brain! Good of you to join us!

                                            What did we drink last night?

                                            >Lol I 'unno.

                                            Where are we?

                                            >Train back home, should be getting close. It's about nine at night.

                                            Why are we still in our tux?

                                            >"Cause all the girls crazy 'bout a"

                                            SHARP

                                            >DRESSED

                                            MAN

                                            >Yeah.

                                            You're a dork.

                                            >You sang along too.

                                            But seriously, why the tux?

                                            >Maybe I just like to dress to impress for special events?

                                            Whoa. Wait. Did you plan something without me?

                                            >It's a surprise.

                                            We hate surprises!

                                            >MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

                                            >You pull into the station as you put Brain on silent.

                                            >Bag over your shoulder, you head to the front.

                                            >Where is she...

                                            >"Dressed up just for me? I'm touched."

                                            >You spun around and saw Lotus sitting on a bench, she hopped off and trotted over to you.

                                            >You put your bag on the ground and sit at eye level with her.

                                            Dude, what are you doing!?

                                            >"Hey there pretty pony."

                                            >You had spent the entire train ride back thinking of that, you were very proud.

                                            >You grab her chin and kiss her.

                                            >Longer then you normally did.

                                            >Deeper too.

                                            >You didn't feel obligated to do this, nor did you feel uncomfortable about doing it in public.

                                            >You break off and press your forehead against her.

                                            >"Mous! What was that for?" she squealed.

                                            >Her cheeks were red, even through her coat.

                                            >She was cute when she was surprised.

                                            >"Just happy to be home."