BiE 43: Inter-dimensional Plumber.


                                            =BiE 43=


                                            >You finish drawing the last of the numbers on the blackboard. "And that class, is why Home Improvement was statistically the best sit com ever made."

                                            >You turn to the sitting foals. "Any questions?"

                                            >Applebloom raises her hand, you point to her. "Mister Anon, how come they never showed all of Wilson's face?"

                                            >Oh boy...here we go. "Well, you see-"

                                            >You are interrupted by the bell ringing. You glance at the clock; 3:00.

                                            >"-that will have to be answered another time." you say.

                                            >The kids grab their things and file out the door, you pack up your charts and graphs.

                                            >Cheerilee approaches you. "Thank you so much for doing this today, Anon. The kids loved to hear about your homeworld."

                                            >"Equestria is my homeworld now, Cheerilee, but I get what you mean. Thanks so much for having me." you say as you wave goodbye and step out of the schoolhouse.

                                            >You take a deep breath as you look around the town.

                                            >One year...

                                            >It had been one whole year since you began seeing Equestria as your home.


                                            >But anniversary day didn't mean you didn't work.

                                            >You were supposed to meet Twilight near the Everfree Forest after you left the school.

                                            >You set out down the path.

                                            >The year had been good to both you and Mous both.

                                            >Rainbow had officially moved in with you a few months ago, leaving her cloud house to one of Applebloom's friends.

                                            >You were happy to have her. With the way everything had been going with her it just seemed natural, and you were glad to be able to move your relationship along.

                                            >Lotus and Mous had fallen into a routine, more or less. They'd go to work together, come back to the apartment, watch T.V., and they'd either sleep there or Mous would take Lotus back home. Only to do the entire thing again the next day.

                                            >The more you hung around Lotus, the more you liked her. There were times when it seemed like she was the only pony who could actually out-argue Mous on one of his moods. Still, you could see they cared about each other when the sarcasm in the room wasn't so thick you could cut it with a knife.


                                            >You spot Twilight and Spike near the edge of the forest. "Hey, guys!" you call out.

                                            >Twilight trots up to you. "Hey Anon, are you ready to get started?"

                                            >You nod and follow as Twilight begins casting her location spell.

                                            >Over the past year, small magical rifts had been popping up in the Everfree Forest.

                                            >The rifts were too small to see, but they could pose a problem if they ever coalesced together. You and Twilight had been making pilgrimages out every so often to track them down and get rid of them.

                                            >"And all this was from the summoning?" you ask.

                                            >"Yep." Twilight said. "It makes sense, Trixie punched a hole in space all the way to Tartarus. The hole might not have been finished, but it was still there."

                                            >You nod and continue patching holes in the universe with Twilight.

                                            >You wished you could do more, but the patch job involved using magic to seal the holes. Not only could you not cast magic, you were entirely immune to it.

                                            >It was a bit annoying at times.


                                            >You eventually make you way into a small clearing.

                                            >There are four pedestals in a circle, one was knocked over.

                                            >You could look at the ground and see the outline of the arcane circle burnt into it.

                                            >"And once again, we find ourselves back where it all started." you say.

                                            >"No different from every other time..." Twilight grumbled as she sealed the breach.

                                            >You were always lead here when you came by, every time.

                                            >Twilight theorized that it was because this was ground zero that caused the breaches to always start here and work their way out.

                                            >It was a double edged sword. On the one hand, you always had to come back here and it was rather annoying. On the other, you had started to notice patterns in the way the breaches materialized around this one.

                                            >"That's us. Finding order in the chaos..." you say.

                                            >"What?" Twilight asks.

                                            >Shit, did you say that out loud? "Nothing, Twi. That the last of em?"

                                            >She nods the affirmative. You look up at the sky.

                                            >Shit, it was already dark out. You were late.

                                            >"Alright then, lets book it." You didn't want to be in the Everfree Forest at night.


                                            >You get home around eight, way later then you normally do.

                                            >Work was picking up every since you helped with the Discord crisis, there was a time when you got home at 5:30...and now?

                                            >Well, the more things change...

                                            >You open the door. Lotus and Mous seemed to be involved in some strange ritual where she lays on his back as he lays on the couch and Rainbow was sitting in her usual spot.

                                            >...the more they stay the same. "Bout time you got home." Mous said. "We made soup, there's some in the kitchen for you."

                                            >You grab your dinner and sit down next to Rainbow. "So, what'd I miss?"

                                            >"Grylly the Bear is about to drink his own pee again." Mous said.

                                            >Dammit. That happened like, every episode.

                                            >You went to all the trouble of getting pony cable and all you do is watch the same stuff over and over.

                                            >Typical.


                                            >The night goes on and soon, everyone goes to bed.

                                            >You step into your room after Rainbow.

                                            >Wait, shit, you forgot. "Hey, I gotta talk with Mous real quick. Back in a sec."

                                            >Rainbow giggles. She was cute when she giggled. "Don't keep me waiting, I had to sit here all night and watch those two together."

                                            >You chuckle yourself and close the door behind you.

                                            >You head for Mous's room. "Hey, man I-" you freeze as you remember the first rule of living with a bro.

                                            >Knock before opening a door.

                                            >Mous was sitting in his chair, Lotus was sitting in his lap.

                                            >She had her head buried into his neck and her hooves snaking up under his shirt.

                                            >He was looking at you wide eyed with her ear in his mouth.

                                            >Brain.exe has imploded on itself.

                                            >Mous looks down at Lotus and back to you. Lotus senses the disturbance and adopts the same wide eyed look Mous had. "Dude, party foul." he says.

                                            >You rebuild your synapses enough to speak. "A word?"

                                            >"Uh, yeah." He picks Lotus up and places her on the bed. A quick kiss on the forehead and an "I'll be back." later and he's out in the hall with you.


                                            >"So, what was so important that you had to interrupt Couple's Dance Night?"

                                            >Ohmygodwhat?

                                            >"Couple's Dance Night?" you laugh out.

                                            >Mous gets a smarmy grin. "Couple's Dance Night, The Horizontal Tango, Shaking the Foundation, Waking the Dead, Guttering, Eating the-"

                                            >You keep laughing. "Okay okay!" You shout as you calm yourself.

                                            >You sigh and bring yourself back to the reason for coming here. "So, it's been about a year..." you say.

                                            >To his credit, Mous catches on and rubs the back of his head. "Yeah..."

                                            >A year since the cult. "What do you think she's gonna do?" you ask.

                                            >Mous sighs and leans against the wall. "I don't know...on the one hand, she's always been kinda screwy with me. But on the other hand, this is a serious issue..."

                                            >"Think you'll be coming back?" you ask.

                                            >"I think so...she probably wouldn't have volunteered if she just wanted to lock me up..."

                                            >"How has Lotus been taking it?"

                                            >Mous sighs. "We've been taking it one day at a time. It worked for the entire year, but now..."

                                            >"Now they're might not be any more days..."

                                            >"Yeah..."

                                            >The hallway got quiet.

                                            >"Well." he says. "If this is my last night, I'm going to enjoy it." he walks to his door. "Night dude."

                                            >"Night."

                                            >You open your door as Mous closes his. "Now, where were we..." escapes from behind it.

                                            >OHGODWHY.

                                            >WHY DID YOU HAVE TO HEAR THAT.

                                            >Rainbow notices you walked in and rolls out from under your blankets. "Heh. Took you long enough." she says as she starts pawing at your shirt.

                                            >Your erection had never been more confused.