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BiE 68: Of Bros and Bells.

By Mandroid
Created: 2020-12-19 12:54:07
Expiry: Never

  1. =BiE 68=
  2.  
  3. >You adjusted your tie for the sixteenth time this hour.
  4. >Your nerves were playing at you again.
  5. >"If you keep this up, you're nerves alone are going to scare her off." Came a voice from over your shoulder.
  6. >Mous sat in a chair behind you, arms crossed and foot tapping. ""You'll excuse me if I don't take the advice of the guy who got me as drunk as he got me the night before my wedding."
  7. >Mous shrugs. "It's tradition."
  8. >"Tradition blows."
  9. >Mous gets up and orbits around you. "Come on, lemme get a good look at you."
  10. >Mous's hands glide from your tie, to your suit, to your shoulders. "You..." He starts as he gives you a final once over. "Look like a polished turd."
  11. >Your laughter calms your nerves a billionth of what they normally were. "Look who's talking. I can't believe you wore your work boots to my wedding."
  12. >"Hey, the last wedding we went to ended in an invasion. I'd rather be prepared."
  13. >You sigh and look yourself over in the mirror. "Of all the things that could happen on top of everything else."
  14. >You feel your jimmies begin to spontaneously rustle.
  15. >"Hey." Mous says. "Don't be like that. You two are great together."
  16. >You sigh and run your hand through your hair. "I just can't stop thinking of all the ways this could go wrong. Immortality not-withstanding."
  17. >Mous sighs. "Anon, do you love Rainbow?"
  18. >You shoot an incredulous glance at him. "Of course I do, man. What the hell kind of-"
  19. >"Then shut up, go out there, and get married to the mare you love before I shackle the two of you together at the neck." Mous says, silencing you.
  20. >Always a great motivator; this guy...
  21.  
  22. >The two of you stood at the altar, half of Ponyville sitting silently in the seat behind you and Celestia silently standing in front of you.
  23. >You had planned on a smaller wedding, Pinkie Pie had different ideas.
  24. >"Did you take care of it?" You ask.
  25. >"I did the best I could, don't really know it off the top of my head." Mous said.
  26. >It would have to do.
  27. >It turned out, Equestria's wedding march was different from Earths. It wasn't that big a deal, but Mous said he'd try and handle it.
  28. >You rocked back and forth as you counted down the seconds.
  29. >You weren't thinking of running, there was no place in Equestria you'd rather be.
  30. >But still, you were anxious.
  31. >"I'm proud of ya."
  32. >You turn around and meet Mous's grin. "What?"
  33. >"I said I'm proud of you, my little bro finally finding someone he cares about and settling down. Makes me happy."
  34. >You wag a finger in his face. "Somep0ny, not someone. Get with the vernacular."
  35. >Mous chuckles. "It would be impolite of me to flip you off at a wedding."
  36. >The two of you share a laugh. "Hey. Thanks man" You say as you clasp him on the shoulder.
  37. >"Nowhere I'd rather be." He says.
  38. >Suddenly, the music starts and your sphincter tightens.
  39.  
  40. >Oh god...
  41. >He didn't.
  42. >Ignore it. Ignore the guffaw forming in the pit of your stomach, ignore that damn serene face he has on his face. Just focus on her coming up the aisle.
  43. >Rainbow's dress was incredible, Rarity had done an amazing job.
  44. >She wore golden sandals around her hooves, her dress was stark white and served to better bring out the rainbow mane flowing behind it. You could catch hints of a smile on her face from behind the veil supported by a golden crown thing on her head.
  45. >Spike was giving her away for you in place of her parents, Applebloom and Sweetie Belle followed them up the aisle tossing flower petals.
  46. >Rainbow trots up to the altar next to you. "Hey." she whispered, the excitement seeping through.
  47. >"Hey." You whisper back.
  48. >Celestia smile down at the two of you. "Gathered friends." She begins. "We are here to celebrate a wonderful occasion. Not only of two souls coming together in matrimony, but in coming together across entire worlds."
  49. >That was...incredibly grandiose. Did Mous right this speech or something?
  50.  
  51. >"The couple will now say their vows." Celestia said.
  52. >You bend down to Rainbow's height and throw back her veil. "Rainbow Dash..." You want to continue, but she's looking at you with those big magenta eyes of hers and throwing you off. "You were one of the first p0nies I met when I came here, the first one to be my friend..." You brush a stand of hair out of her face. "But the only one I fell in love with. I vow to help you, hold you, and love you every bit as much as I do right now."
  53. >You could hear sniffling from the crowd behind you.
  54. >"Anon..." Rainbow starts. "When you came here, I didn't even know what you were, I didn't know you were going to be my best friend, and I really didn't know you were going to be my husband one day." Rainbow presses her forehead against yours. "But I wouldn't change a second of it. I love you Anon, and I vow to keep loving you, support you, and kick your flank when you mess up and forget to eat again."
  55. >You hear chuckling from the crowd behind you now. You had only forgotten once...
  56. >Scootaloo trots up behind you, a pillow in her mouth with a pair of matching necklaces on it.
  57. >Celestia levitates the necklaces into the air and casts a spell, causing the jewels in the center of each necklace to turn a matching shade of blue.
  58. >The necklaces lower in your hands. "Anon, do you take Rainbow Dash to be your wife?" Celestia asks.
  59. >"I do." You say as you fasten the necklace.
  60. >You did. You absolutely did.
  61. >"Rainbow Dash, do you take Anon to be your husband?"
  62. >Rainbow reaches around and snaps the necklace together around your neck.
  63. >"I do." She said. You feel your heart rate pick up at those words.
  64.  
  65. >"Is there anyp0ny here today who has a reason that these two should not be wed?" Celestia asked.
  66. >This was always the part in the movies where some ex flame burst through the door shouting an objection and you admit you held your breath.
  67. >The room was silent however, but you were sure you could hear Mous's neck muscles strain as he glared out over the crowed and dared anyone to object.
  68. >Celestia smiled. "Then by the power vested in me as ruler of Equestria, I now pronounce you Man and Mare. You may kiss the bride."
  69. >Didn't have to tell you twice. You almost fall over as you pull Dash close to you and lock your lips.
  70. >That moment seems to stretch on for years as you savor everything about it. The taste of Rainbow's lips, the smell of her hair, Mous screaming "Louder!" to the cheering crowd.
  71. >The two of you finally separate and simply sit there for a moment. "So, I just noticed that I don't have a last name. Am I "Mr. Dash" now?" You say with a chuckle.
  72. >Rainbow laughs an wraps her hooves around you. "We'll figure something out."
  73.  
  74. >The reception was held at the same chapel as the Royal Wedding, they finally replaced all those windows that had shattered.
  75. >It went just as a reception put together by Mous and Pinkie Pie was expected to.
  76. >The girls had offered their congratulations, Rarity had almost wounded a group of mares going for the bouquet, and you got to show off on the dance floor.
  77. >The two of you were just stepping off and heading back to the rest of the party. "Anon?" Rainbow asked.
  78. >"Hmm?"
  79. >"Who's "Jagger" and how exactly does he move?" She asked.
  80. >You laugh as you walk. "It's this whole thing, I can tell you later."
  81. >You walked hand and hoof through the party before a voice caught your attention. "Hey Dash."
  82. >Rainbow turned around and went wide eyed. "Gilda!?"
  83. >At the table in front of you holding a drink sat a single Griffin. "Hey, nice dress." She said.
  84. >Rainbow shook her head. "How the heck did you get here?"
  85. >Gilda jerked a talon towards the rest of the party. "That other guy came to find me at my place and didn't leave until I said I'd think about it, he probably would have come back if I didn't show."
  86. >That sounded suspiciously like someone who you just saw sticking his face into the chocolate fountain...
  87. >"But, why? I thought I was too lame now?" Rainbow asked, her pride seeping into her voice.
  88. >Gilda sighs. "It's cause I missed my friend, Dash. I missed my friend because I acted like a bitch to her the last time I saw her."
  89. >Rainbow was taken aback. "So here I am, at her wedding, trying to apologize." Gilda said.
  90. >Rainbow was silent for a while before sighing and walking up to her friend.
  91. >"Well..." She said before she wrapped her hooves around her. "It -is- a wedding."
  92.  
  93. >You continue walking around with Rainbow. "That was rather nice of you." You said.
  94. >"What?"
  95. >You turn to her. "Forgiving your friend like that. Time was I could imagine you holding a grudge."
  96. >Rainbow playfully punches your shoulder. "I'm a married mare now, Anon. Maybe it's time to turn over a few new leaves."
  97. >You rub your arm. "Starting with spousal abuse, are we?"
  98. >Rainbow nuzzles your cheek. "You know you like it."
  99. >"Only from you." You say as you peck her on the lips.
  100. >"How cute." Came a voice from the corner of the room.
  101. >You turn around to see Mous toweling the chocolate off his face, Lotus sitting on the seat next to him. "You two and the chocolate are libel to give me diabetes." He said.
  102. >"Maybe you ought to ease up on the chocolate fountain then?"
  103. >Mous rolls his eyes. "What's the point of a fountain made of chocolate if I can't stick my face in it?"
  104. >You continue to eye him as he towels off. "...What?" He asks.
  105. >"I know you have something planned." You say.
  106. >Mous feigns offense. "Me? Mess with your special day? Perish the thought."
  107. >"A huh..."
  108.  
  109. >Mous gets a glimmer in his eye. "But...I did give the DJ a bit of new music..."
  110. >"Remember the song you proposed to?" He asked.
  111. >You nod.
  112. >Mous whistles to the DJ.
  113. >You hear the first chords.
  114. >You can't hold back the laughter now. "You didn't..."
  115. >Mous extends a hand into a claw. "IT CANNOT BE SEEN, BUT THERE'S BLOOD ON THE GREEN!" He shouts.
  116. >"Only God knows I'm innocent!" You join.
  117. >"TAKE ME, TAKE ME HOME!"
  118. >Mous steps up onto the table as Lotus simply shakes her head. "A DARK SEED REIGNS IN ME, LIKE A STORM RULES OVER THE SEA!"
  119. >You break down into laughter as everyp0ny present turns to your table. "I CHALLENGE THEE, DO NOT CROSS THIS BRIDGE ALONE!"
  120.  
  121. >Mous shouts his way through the entirety of his secret song singing into a wine glass before he calms down.
  122. >The party rolls on into the night, with congratulations coming from everyp0ny.
  123. >The gifts were just as nice. Twilight got you a book in interspecies relationships, Rarity offered to make you some clothes, Applejack gave a box full of Zap Apple Jam, Pinkie sang a song for the two of you with Fluttershy's bird choir.
  124. >Celestia and Luna presented you with tickets straight to New Saddle for your honeymoon. "Only the best for a hero of the city." Celestia said.
  125. >Mous got you a toaster. That bastard never forgot anything.
  126. >He eventually found the two of you at the table. "What are you two doing here?"
  127. >"Uhh...eating a salad?" You said with the fork almost to your mouth.
  128. >Mous gestured out to rest of the party. "You two have been married for hours now and everyp0ny is off on their own, get outta here and go enjoy your wedding nights."
  129. >"Are you drunk?" You ask.
  130. >"More buzzed then drunk, stop evading."
  131. >You turn to Rainbow and catch her blush a bit, it seemed the both of you were looking forward to consummating this.
  132. >You both rise from your seats. "You're sure this is okay?"
  133. >Mous is leaning back in his chair. "Anon, shut the fuck up and go turn me into an uncle, would you?"
  134. >"You're insane!" You shout back to him.
  135. >"I'm not the one who just got married!" He hollers back.
  136. >That was certainly true, you did just get married.
  137. >And you couldn't be happier. "Love you." You say as you kiss Rainbow on the head.
  138. >"Love you too, Anon" She says as pulls your lips together.

BiE 1: Introductions

by Mandroid

BiE 2: Train, pains, and narcissism.

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BiE 3: Exposition and espionage.

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BiE 3.5: More trains, soon to be back pains.

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BiE 4: Home Improvement.

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