Flanking Maneuvers Episode 4: Meet the Parents.


                                            Flanking Maneuvers Episode 4

                                            Theme Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmGkfWDtv78


                                            "I'm going to kill your sister." You said as Celestia tried to brush out the wrinkles in your shirt.

                                            >This was your good shirt, rarely worn.

                                            >Celestia sighs. "I might help you there."

                                            "I mean, what part of "my sister is pregnant"-

                                            >"MIGHT be pregnant..."

                                            "Sorry, "MIGHT be pregnant" says "I should tell our parents!"?".

                                            >Celestia sighs as she orbits around you. "Luna has always been...a bit archaic."

                                            "Out of touch with reality" Is more like it, was this really how things were back in her day?"

                                            >"It was a different time, dear. Discord had just been put down, industry had yet to bloom."

                                            "You were still chaste."

                                            >Celestia offers one final tug to smooth out any wrinkles. "Not quite, dear."

                                            "Gross."

                                            >"Not all of us can afford to have our first time be with a goddess."

                                            "I know right? Instead I just get your skank ass."

                                            >Celestia kisses your cheek. "Sweet talker."

                                            >You examine yourself in the mirror and turn to your wife.

                                            "Well, how do I look?"

                                            >Celestia bends her neck to look at you from various angles. "Like a polished turd."

                                            "Now who's the sweet talker?"

                                            >Celestia laughs as she walks over to her beauty desk. "Help me with my jewelry."

                                            "Don't you have magic?"

                                            >"Don't you have husbandly duties?"

                                            >You scoff as you step over.

                                            "I fulfill my husbandly duties every damn night and some mornings you bimbo."


                                            >You both entered into the dining hall.

                                            >The sun hung low, just barely touching the horizon.

                                            "You sure it's a good idea to wait?"

                                            >"My parents always appreciated a bit of a show."

                                            >There comes twin flashes of light at the entrance to the hall.

                                            >One portal is of pure white light, with waves of radiance cascading off of it.

                                            >Through it steps an alicorn of almost living cosmic fire, the ends of her mane continuing to spiral without end. On her flank was a cutie mark of a galaxy.

                                            >Spin on, Queen Galaxia.

                                            >The other portal was one of almost infinite blackness, lances of white energy erupted from its center.

                                            >The alicorn from this portal put Luna to shame. Luna's mane was stars, while this one's entire body was. His mane stood as still as stone, while his ethereal sky-scape constantly shifted inside him.

                                            >King Cosmos, it seemed.

                                            >Celestia seemed positively giddy next to you. "Mother! Father!" She shouted as she galloped up to them.

                                            >Wow...You've never seen Celestia so...happy. Kinda nice.

                                            >Celestia embraced each of her parents. "Hello Sweetheart..." Galaxia said.

                                            >Cosmos stared out the window. "I see that the sun remains out." He says with his booming voice.

                                            >Celestia gives her father a peck on the cheek. "Oh father, we just rushed down here to meet you! I'll set it right away."

                                            >With a familiar glow of magic, the sun is pushed that final bit and begins to descend over the horizon.

                                            >You see Celestia turn back to you. "Dear, come meet my parents!" She says.

                                            >You notice that you are standing a good couple dozen feet away.

                                            >Nice first impression...


                                            >You can't stop staring at Cosmos as you approach him.

                                            >Probably because he's glaring at you.

                                            >SHIT. THINK OF SOMETHING TO SAY.

                                            >"I have impregnated your daughter with my extra-dimensional spawn"

                                            >"I have been inside your daughter in every safe way imaginable, and several unsafe ways."

                                            >"I find your wife incredibly attractive due to the loose connection she shares with a cartoon from my home."

                                            >NONE OF THOSE WILL WORK.

                                            "Hi Dad!"

                                            >Cosmos huffs. "Hello, human."

                                            >NICE SAVE.

                                            >You offer the best smile you can and throw your arm around Celestia.

                                            "Great to see you! We missed you at the wedding."

                                            >Celestia whips her tail at you.

                                            >You take that as wife-speak for "Don't tell my parents we got married in twenty minutes in Las Pegasus."

                                            >Queen Galaxia smiles at you. "Yes, unfortunately, our duties demanded we stay behind." She nuzzles her daughters head. "Despite our wishes otherwise."

                                            >Celestia turns to her parents. "Shall we eat?"


                                            >Dinner consisted of the four of you seated at a small table that was brought out.

                                            >You remained quiet as you silently ate your food.

                                            >Cosmos was still staring at you.

                                            >It was getting to the point where even Celestia and Galaxia were staring at the two of you.

                                            "Uh...Something wrong?"

                                            >"You are eating meat." He says.

                                            >You look down at your plate; two and a half Bass rested on it, still steaming.

                                            "Uh...yeah. The palace chefs are able to go all out."

                                            >You actually hadn't noticed, you had become used to the diet here.

                                            >Cosmos flares his nostrils. "You serve meat here regularly?" He asks.

                                            >Celestia is quick to placate. "We regularly have many ambassadors from foreign nations staying the night in our embassy, so we have a small stockpile of food to fit their alternate diet."

                                            >Cosmos grunts an acknowledgment and goes back to eating.

                                            >Okay...evaded getting atomized, now you just had to survive the rest of this.

                                            >Galaxia turns to her daughter. "So, how did the two of you meet?"

                                            >Shit.


                                            >You turn to Celestia.

                                            >This was bad.

                                            >How do you make "She blackmailed me into sleeping with her all night." sound good?

                                            "Uh...do you remember Celly? It was so long ago...

                                            >Galaxia chuckled. "Celly?"

                                            >You offer a smile.

                                            "It's a pet name."

                                            >Galaxia returns a warm smile.

                                            >Alright, Mom is on your side.

                                            >Celestia raises a hoof to her chin. "Hmm...well, Mous and I met for the first time when he first arrived here."

                                            "Yeah...I remember I wandered off and she was able to help me back."

                                            >That's one way to put it...

                                            >"And we just saw each other more over time, right dear?"

                                            "Uh, right!"

                                            >The two of you both put on the same smile as you try to sell the story, leaving out as much of the blackmail and anal foreplay as possible.

                                            >Galaxia just smiles back. "And the wedding?"

                                            >That get's Cosmos attention. "I would like to hear of this as well."

                                            >SHIT.


                                            >You and Celestia both exchange a nervous glance.

                                            "Well..."

                                            >"It started with a little get together we had planned...."

                                            >A bet that got made at the Summer Sun Celebration.

                                            "We had been in love for a while beforehand..."

                                            >She sent a carriage to the apartment every weekend asking you for "your input" on a matter.

                                            >"Right right, and well, he and I were alone when I let slip that I sought his hand in marriage..."

                                            >You lost the bet.

                                            "I accepted and we began planning the wedding almost immediately."

                                            >You flew to Las Pegasus.

                                            >"But we were sure to take long enough to ensure that everything was perfect, and we were wed in the winter."

                                            >You were married twenty minutes after you got there.

                                            "The wedding was held in this really nice chapel."

                                            >The Griffin King room at the Hotel Mareiot.

                                            >"All of our friends attended."

                                            >You got a homeless guy to be your witness.

                                            "My little brother was my best man."

                                            >He had yelled at you for being stupid.

                                            >"And Luna my mare of honor."

                                            >The two of you had blackmailed her into not squealing with how close she was to that little British faggot back in P0nyville.

                                            "We honeymooned in Prance."

                                            >You had turned the heat down and played "Who can dehydrate the other the most." for a week.

                                            >"Aaaaaand then we came back here! Hehe, The end!"


                                            >You and Celestia donned your most convincing smiles as you tried to wither the storm that was Cosmos glare.

                                            >"A winter wedding."

                                            >You both nod.

                                            >"After seeing each other for less than a year."

                                            >Nodding again.

                                            >"And there are records of this event."

                                            >Falsified ones, yeah.

                                            >Galaxia reached over to her husband. "Calm down dear, trust them."

                                            >The two of you silently breathe a sigh of relief.

                                            >The advantage of the incredibly skewed marriage you two shared was that it had made you even better liars.

                                            >"It is not the reason we are here anyway," She says.

                                            >Cosmos turns to the two of you. "Yes, let us talk about this child."

                                            >SHIIIIIIIIIIT.


                                            "Well...what do you want to know?"

                                            >Galaxia opens her mouth, but her husband steps in. "I want to know that any child that comes from you will be one that is worthy of our line."

                                            >Family line huh? You could work with that.

                                            "Well...what do you know about me?"

                                            >Cosmos snorts. "I know that you come from outside my domain. That alone bothers me. And I know that you joined a cult who's purpose was to bring back my daughter's most hated of foes."

                                            >"Mous joined that cult to dismantle them from the inside, father. It is not fair to hold that against him." Celestia said.

                                            >Dammit, you wanted to say that.

                                            >Cosmos turns to his daughter. "And in doing so caused a shift in the balance of power inside of Tartarus. I had to personally put down the new Dogfather before he breached the gates."

                                            >Ffffffuck. That wasn't good.

                                            >This guy was pissed and could probably unmake you.

                                            >Galaxia places a hoof over her husband's shoulder. "Dear, remember that we were in our own troubles with Tirek when Tia was born, And Grogar with Luna. I'd say that the simple fact that he was able to remove Discord from the equation is evidence of his conviction."

                                            >She turns to you. "Although your methods are a bit...extreme..."

                                            >You shrug. Desperate times.

                                            >Cosmos seems to calm by a billionth of a percent, but he's still staring at you. "And that is enough reason for him to be allowed near our grandchild? Despite his unknown origins?"

                                            >"Everyone deserves a chance, darling."

                                            >Cosmos glares at you a bit longer. You could swear that he was reaching into your mind to try and see any reason to turn you inside out.

                                            >dontthinkaboutcelestiasassdontthinkaboutcelestiasassdontthinkaboutcelestiasass...


                                            >Dinner didn't last much longer as you walked with the rest of the family back to where they entered.

                                            >"Oh, are you sure you have to go so soon? You know that we always have rooms available for you two." Celestia said.

                                            >Galaxia offers a warm smile. "Tia, you know there is nothing in the universe I would love more. But I have responsibilities in Elysium that I must attend to."

                                            >Celestia and her mother embrace at the neck for a moment before she trots up to you. "As for you, Sir Mous. I can see that you and my daughter a connection that transcends what I have heard..."

                                            >Shit. Could she see through your lying?

                                            >"I wish you only the best in your life, and hope that you enjoy your time as a father should it come faster than you anticipate." She says with a bow.

                                            >You offer an equally deep bow in return.

                                            "Celestia's words don't do you justice, your highness."

                                            >Galaxia grows one last warm smile before her constantly shifting body seems to envelop her and take her away.

                                            >Cosmos trots up to the two of you. "I still do not trust this human fully, but am willing to give him a chance."

                                            >Cosmos brings his face an inch from yours.

                                            >Eep.

                                            >"A single chance."

                                            >He takes a few steps back from the two of you. "Be well and be safe, my little sun." He says before he simply fades away, the stars that made up his body lingering just a moment longer.

                                            >Celestia explosively sighs and takes a few steps towards you, her eyes already belaying her exhaustion. >"Are...you okay dear?"

                                            >You may have just voided your bowels, but you guess you were alright.

                                            "Let's just go to bed."


                                            >You burst into the door of your bedroom.

                                            "GOD. DAMN! Your dad almost gave me a fear ulcer!"

                                            >Celestia follows you inside, her head low. "Yes...Father can be a bit taxing."

                                            >You pull off your shirt and throw it into the hamper.

                                            "I felt like he was gonna atomize me!"

                                            >"He rules over Tartarus, dear. He can be a bit judicial." Celestia said.

                                            >Celestia levitated her jewels off and placed them on the beauty desk.

                                            >She glances at the bathroom. "I'm going to shower a bit..." She turns to you with a seductive smile. "Care to join me...?"

                                            >You hated getting wet.

                                            "I'm fine, thanks."

                                            >Celestia pouts as she walks into the bathroom and shuts the door.

                                            >Goddamn nympho pones...


                                            >Celestia exits the bathroom followed by a torrent of steam several minutes later.

                                            >"Ah!...That feels so much better!" She said.

                                            "Shh, Trying to think here."

                                            >You say cross armed in the bed, as you had been doing since Celestia got into the shower.

                                            >You could feel Celestias eyes drawn to your erect member propping up the sheets.

                                            >"Oh~...I was going to sleep...but I suppose I could be persuaded..."

                                            "Oh shut up. This is all me." You said with your eyes closed.

                                            >"Hmmm~?" Celestia coos as she slides under the covers.

                                            "For a while now, I've been working on mental exercises, ones that will make it so I'm only hard when I want to be."

                                            >You feel your member gripped by a magic aura. "I'm so flattered, dear."

                                            >Heh. Time for an object lesson.

                                            >You think the thoughts and feel your member slack in Celestia's grip.


                                            >You open your eyes to see Celestia pouting again.

                                            "Told ya."

                                            >"But what about meee?" She whines.

                                            "What about you? I just got the best weapon against you. We probably shouldn't be having sex with a kid anyway."

                                            >Celestia huffs. "What could happen? Will I get double pregnant?"

                                            >You chuckle.

                                            "Doesn't matter, I hold all the cards now."

                                            >"Ohhh...Not all of them~" She coos.

                                            >You turn to her and see her with a devilish grin on her lips. "Peter Piper Picked a Pack of Pickled Peppers."

                                            >You felt her barrel through your mental defenses straight to you core.

                                            >You can feel your member start to raise against your will.

                                            >You start the process again.

                                            >Celestia just chuckles. "Voila! In View a humble Vaudevillian Veteran..."

                                            >FUCK. THAT ONE.

                                            >You feel your member rocket up.

                                            >"Cast Vicariously as both Victim and Villain by the Vicissitude of fate...

                                            >WHY DID YOU TEACH HER THAT ONE.

                                            >"This Visage, no mere Veneer of Vanity-"

                                            >Celestia gets no further as you all be tackle her.

                                            "COME 'ERE!"

                                            >Celestia squeals as you push her down onto the bed.

                                            "WE'RE GONNA PUT THAT MOUTH TO THE SECOND BEST USE WE CAN."