BiE 85: Strangled Me with Science.


                                            =BiE 85=


                                            >Year 2204 in Equestria.

                                            >The Broken Leylands.

                                            >Mother fucking summer.

                                            >You hated summer.

                                            >You especially hated summer in the sea of sand and heat that was past the Appelosian desert.

                                            >You looked down at the valley below.

                                            >According to Anon, leylines are supposed to glow pink at almost all times.

                                            >Not this one, this one just looked like dirt and dust.

                                            >But then again, you were here to fix that.

                                            >The camp around you was a bustle of activity.

                                            >You watched as everything from P0ny to Zebra to Griffin was carrying out their tasks.

                                            >Made sense, everybody wanted this project to succeed.

                                            >Some Zebras were fumbling with one of the battery charges.

                                            >You holler at them in their native tongue as they scurry back to work.

                                            >"Since when did you speak Zebra?" Anon asked from the desk behind you.

                                            >"Since Celestia decided that I was apparently her number one choice for dicey diplomatic sessions."


                                            >You turn to look at him.

                                            >"It helps to know when somep0ny is calling you an ass."

                                            >Anon rolls his eyes as he pours over the paper in front of him. "I'm sure you heard it often enough."

                                            >You walk up to the desk and look at the blueprints on it.

                                            >"Less then you think, explain to me again why we're setting mana batteries to explode out here in the middle of nowhere?"

                                            >Anon does some math on the side of his paper. "Because, we're going to re-ignite this ley line for the good of the planet and send more power to Canterlot?"

                                            >"To power your pet project. Do you even have a name for that hunk of junk?"

                                            >"Annoying Brother?"

                                            >You scoff.

                                            >"Two hundred years of working on it and he can't even come up with a proper name."

                                            >"Hey, this is complex magic. I fuck this thing up and I send Equestria into an ice age. Not too much time to brainstorm names."

                                            >You roll your eyes and go back to overlooking the workers.


                                            >"Okay, I get the why. But how is a bunch of mana-bombs supposed to help?"

                                            >Anon steps away from the desk and points you over the horizon.

                                            >"It's simple really. This leyline got severed from the leyline about a thousand or so miles to the North thousands and thousands of years ago, probably because the magical flow just changed course."

                                            >Anon points to the charges. "What we're going to do, is set off these charges via radio signal in succession, that'll hopefully simulate a proper mana flow and link this one back up with the main line."

                                            >"And if it fails?"

                                            >Anon sighs. "Then I'll have wasted the last eighty years."

                                            >Not like you didn't have the time.

                                            >"And it'll explode."

                                            >Anon winces and half turns to you. "There...might be a -slight- chance of a backfire, but that's less than a thousandth of a percent."

                                            >"But it could still happen..."

                                            >He gives a nervous chuckle. "What's science without risk?

                                            >The radio back at Anon's desk beeps and calls the two of you back to it.

                                            >Anon picks it up and holds it to his head. "A-huh. Alright. Perfect! Get everyone back to minimum safe distance and we can get this going!"

                                            >Anon looks up at you with the smile of a kid on Christmas.

                                            >"Don't break my continent."


                                            -Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLOkc9MwFHs-

                                            >You walk back to the main control tent with Anon practically skipping ahead of you.

                                            >He ran into the control tent and began checking readouts and flipping on machines in the back.

                                            >"All stations checking in?" He asked.

                                            >An assistant spoke up. "Yes sir, everyp0ny is online."

                                            >"Capacitors set to handle any feedback?"

                                            >"Check, sir."

                                            >"And how's our bleed?"

                                            >"Within .01%."

                                            >"Good, good..."

                                            >This was all a bit mad science-y...

                                            >"Alright! Green across the board! Mister Steele, give me master control!" Anon said.

                                            >The stallion in question fiddled with his instruments. "Ready, sir."

                                            >Anon moves to a large red lever at the end of the tent. "Alright, everyp0ny! Moment of truth! Be ready to report any back-ups!"

                                            >Anon grips the lever with both hands and yanks it back as hard as he can.


                                            >A series of lights and beeps emit from a nearby machine.

                                            >Anon runs over to it. "Alright, we're about halfway across the sea. Stay frosty everyp0ny..."

                                            >You walk up to him. "Is sea bad?"

                                            >"Sea was where we had to fashion mana depth charges. They've been down there a while, and if they have any leaks, it's game over man."

                                            >Brilliant...

                                            >"Sir, we have hit land."

                                            >You watched as the lights on the machine traveled ever further inland.

                                            >After a minute of watching, Anon jumped up. "We should be close enough for a front row view now!"

                                            >With that he ran out of the tent.

                                            >Towards the encroaching explosion.

                                            >"Anon! Dammit, that's what I do!"

                                            >You chased Anon out to where his desk was set up.

                                            >You could see the cloud of dust off in the distance as the batteries detonated.

                                            >"Anon, this isn't safe."

                                            >"It's fine, I accounted for everything..."

                                            >Dammit, he wasn't listen-

                                            >Your thoughts are interrupted as the mana batteries at the start of the Ley Lands began to detonate and sent shockwaves through the ground.

                                            >The rest follow shortly thereafter, sending up clouds of dust that can probably be seen from home.

                                            >You can barely breath in this.

                                            >"Anon! *cough* Anon!" You choke out.

                                            >You wander through the dust until you find him exactly where he had been standing.

                                            >As the dirt clears, you see another sight.

                                            >The ground below you was glowing an ever steadying pink.

                                            >You can see Anon grinning from ear to ear. "Haha! It worked!" He shouted as he jumped in the air.

                                            >He grabbed you by the shoulders. "It worked!"

                                            >With that he was off back to the tent. "How're we looking?"

                                            >"We have steady magic flow in all checkpoints, sir."

                                            >Anon looked back to you beaming.

                                            >You sigh.

                                            >"Yes, yes, you fixed the planet. Can we go home now?"


                                            >The two of you sat on the main deck of the Delphinus.

                                            >You were busy pouring sand and dust out of your clothes while Anon sat next to you in silent wonder at the events of the day.

                                            >This silence was irritating.

                                            >"If you ever get this much sand in me again..."

                                            >Anon sighs. "Can't hear ya. Too wrapped up in the moment."

                                            >Heh. It was quite the feat...

                                            >You looked out across the plains and mountains of the Mild West.

                                            >The sun bobbed in the sky for a moment before it went that final distance across the horizon.

                                            >Over all your years, you had begun to notice the tells when Celestia lowered the sun.

                                            >One step closer...

                                            >"Well, now that my day is more or less over. I guess I have to think of something fun to do."

                                            >Anon perks up at that. "Hey I heard something you may like."

                                            >"Oh?" You ask turning to him.

                                            >"Mhmm. There's this new museum in lower city, see?"

                                            >You nod.

                                            >"Well, they opened an exhibit about us." He says as he slides his head.

                                            >You try to wrap your head around that.

                                            >"Just us?"

                                            >"Yep."

                                            >"The two of us?"

                                            >"A-huh."

                                            >What the-

                                            >"Did they just steal stuff from the apartment?" You ask.

                                            >Anon laughs. "I dunno, wanna find out?"

                                            >Shit kid.

                                            >Of course you wanted to find out.


                                            >The two of your made your way to the museum as soon as you landed.

                                            >A quick elevator ride down to the part of the city in the valley below put you right in front of the museum.

                                            >Turns out that subjects of museum exhibits get in free.

                                            >Walking into the hall they had you located in was like walking back in time.

                                            >"By the Emperor..."

                                            >They had them all in a case the size of the royal dining table.

                                            >Ever last one of your little models, each expertly posed inside and all trying to kill each other.

                                            >Lotus had said there wouldn't be enough room for them once you had moved to Canterlot.

                                            >So it was with a heavy heart that you locked your little voyeur gallery away in a trunk and kept them at the apartment.

                                            >Seeing them here again was like a dream come true.

                                            >Most of them were you standerd: Yellow and angry. But you could see a few of the alternate schemes you had come up with.

                                            >The royal blues.

                                            >The blood reds.

                                            >You even saw a few with grey and yellow in there.

                                            >"Projected account of ancient Earth warfare." You heard Anon say next to you.

                                            >What?

                                            >"They think this is what they thought war was like on Earth?"

                                            >Anon shakes his head. "Seems that way."

                                            >That...

                                            >That was fucking awesome.


                                            >The two of you continued to inspect the gallery.

                                            >They had collected a few of your super old movies and thrown them onto a T.V.

                                            >That still didn't excuse them picking The Room, however.

                                            >Even two thousand years later, Tommy Wiseau is annoying.

                                            >"Like a fucking time capsule..." Anon said.

                                            >"Got that right..."

                                            >You glanced over at him.

                                            >"Better then a night with the moon Princess?"

                                            >Anon stumbled and blushed. "Uh...you know about her, huh?"

                                            >Oh please.

                                            >He had known you knew that he was seeing someone, apparently he doesn't know how obvious the two could be together.

                                            >"It's been over a thousand years since you two started this little whatever of yours dude."

                                            >Anon rubbed the back of his head.

                                            >"I know you kept it a secret, but come on. I'm me. I knew before you went off to play explorer."

                                            >You walk to the next exhibit to give him a break.

                                            >He had probably been trying real hard to keep that a secret.

                                            >Hell, it's not his fault you knew him fo-

                                            >...

                                            >No.

                                            >No no.

                                            >No no no.

                                            >Not you.

                                            >Not again.

                                            >Not here.

                                            >Not now.

                                            >Anon walked up to your frozen ass in the middle of the floor. "Dude, what is it?"

                                            >What is it?

                                            >Just the return of your most hated foe.

                                            >THAT.

                                            >MOTHERFUCKING.

                                            >DIDGERIDOO.

                                            >IT'S HAUNTED.

                                            IT HAS TO BE HAUNTED.

                                            >ONLY IN DEATH WILL WE KNOW PEACE.

                                            >You grab the nearest museum worker.

                                            >"HOW MUCH FOR THAT."

                                            >"U-uh...well, sir. I uh..." He stammers as he tries to get his bearings.

                                            >"Uh...letmegoaskthecurator!"

                                            >Anon puts a hand on your shoulder. "Dude, what are you doing?"

                                            >SOMETHING THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DONE LONG AGO.


                                            >The two of you stand in the park after midnight.

                                            >Burning wood fills your ears and noses.

                                            >The silence of the park is split by the last pathetic whine of The Accursed One as the flame consumes in.

                                            >You dump a bucket of water from the lake on the blaze, condemning It to ash.

                                            >"It is done."

                                            >Anon just watches you as he had done since you bought the damn thing.

                                            >Most people don't spend a years' salary on something they intend to burn.

                                            >"Well, that was...dramatic. Are you feeling better?"

                                            >You breathe in the air, laced with a trace of the smell of burning wood.

                                            >"Yes..."

                                            >Anon looks down at the pit of ash. "Makes you yearn, ya know?"

                                            >"Hmm?"

                                            >"All of this. The museum, your...little friend here."

                                            Fuck you.

                                            >"Makes you yearn for the old days, you know? Back when it was just you me and Rainbow, trying to do some stupid thing in the middle of P0nyville."

                                            >You looked up at the city you had been protecting for the past two millennia.

                                            >"Things definitely took an unanticipated swerve..."

                                            >Anon nods with you. "Wanna re-live some of it?"

                                            >You look down and meet his eyes.

                                            >"...Movie night?"

                                            >Anon grows a wide smile. "I've got Star Wars."

                                            >"I got beer."

                                            >Anon chuckles and heads for the park entrance. "Come on, we need to hurry if we're getting through all three."

                                            >You laugh as you run to catch up with him.

                                            >Same shit, different night.