Flanking Maneuvers: Episode 6. Fucking Fetishes.

=Flanking Maneuvers Episode 6=

>You dug through your the draws in your room, place off to the side because you weren't a fatass who needed huge clothes.
"Celly!"
>"What dear?" Comes from the balcony.
"Where the fuck are all my socks?"
>When you get no answer, you turn around.
>Celestia's eyes are darting back and forth as they try to avoid your gaze.
"Celly..."
>Celestia bites her lip. "You remember when I wanted to try on socks that one night a few weeks ago to see how they felt?"
"CELLY..."
>"Well..."
>Your face falls.
"Do you. Have any idea. How much custom sock orders for me cost?"
Theme song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmGkfWDtv78

>You wondered around the room.
"Where the fuck is my bit pouch?"
>Celestia had retired onto the bed and was watching you run around. "Why is this so important to you?"
"Because I have sensitive feet and don't want to step on fucking rocks all day?"
>"Sensitive feet~?"
"Piss off. Not in the mood."
>You toss your pants out of the drawer and root around inside.
>"And why do you need socks? Your boots work just as well without them."
"Because I don't want rank ass athletes foot anymore then I want rocks in my feet."
>You finally find your bit pouch, why the fuck was it with your underwear?
>Grimacing as you lace up your boots, you turn to your wife.
"I suppose this is the time when I'm supposed to ask you if I should pick up anything while I'm out."
>Celestia lays back on the bed. "I don't but ask Luna if she needs anything."
>Your scowl deepens.
"I was being facetious."
>"Too late, you've volunteered now."
>God.
>Dammit.
"I hate you so much."
>Celestia chuckles as you step out. "Liar."

>You stomp down the hallways towards Luna's room, your feet feeling strange against nothing but your boots.
>And why are you bothering? Luna probably wasn't even up yet.
>You knock on the door when you get there.
>Nothing...
>You open the door and peer inside.
"Luna?...You up yet?"
>You heard muffled voices coming from deeper in the small apartment Luna had for a room.
>Not only was she up, but entertaining?
>Your natural inquisitiveness demands you go look.
>As you get closer, the voices sounds like...laughter?"
>As you crossed over the threshold into Luna's bedroom, you decided that your natural inquisitiveness was an asshole.
>A small colt with the coat of a cow jumped onto the bed dressed like a pirate. "Don' worry Sea Princess! Captain Pip will save you from the dragon!"
>Luna lay on her side on the bed, wearing in a frilly dress. "Oh~ Captain Pip! However can I...repay...you..." She says as her eyes drift over to you.
>Your fist shook as you tried to stop the Class Z apocalyptic rustling of your jimmies.
>Pip gets a big smile."Oh, hello Mister Mous! Are you here to join me and Luna's game?"
>Luna shoots the boy a quick glare at the suggestion as you calm yourself enough to speak.
"No...thanks...kid. Luna! I'm heading out...is there anything you wanted me to pick up...?" You ask through gritted teeth.
>Luna's eyes shift between you and Pip. "N-no. Brother-in-law...nothing I need." She says.
"Good."
>You turn on your heel and stomp out of the room.
>You slam the door behind you and rub your temples in an attempt to unsee.
>You grab a nearby guard from his post.
"Little Pip's mother has called him back home. Call into Princess Luna's room and prepare a chariot."
>"Yes sir"
>That's better...

>It was late afternoon when you got to Joe's Storage.
>Yeah, you had lied when you talked about the cost of these socks.
>You had thousands in a garage at the edge of the city.
>"Yo." Joe said as you walked into the office.
>It was a bit weird that the doughnut place guy ran a storage lot, but his rates were cheap.
"Yo Joe."
>"Socks again?"
"Yep."
>"Princess wore out the old ones?"
>You sigh.[spoiler][/spoiler]"Don't want to talk about it, Joe. Just take my back."
>Joe nods and levitates your key off a rack behind him.
>Your garage was near the back, the better to ward off suspicion.
>A lot of ponies did that, by your reasoning.
>You think the guy next to you was running a meth lab in his.

>You open the door to your garage and gaze at the mountain of packages of socks piled inside it.
"Stupid mare is going to be the death of me."
>Joe laughs. "Yeah, she can be pretty intense."
>You arch an eyebrow at Joe.
>"What? Everyp0ny knows about how the Princess used to get around. You'd shoulda heard what some guys said they were gonna do to you after the two o' you got married."
>The socks hit the ground as you turn your head up.
"Is there anyone in this city who has not slept with my wife!?"
>Cool it Agustus
>You drag your hand down your face.[spoiler][/spoiler] "How long ago?"
>"Huh?"
"I don't want your cream filling, now how long ago?"
>Joe brings a hoof to his chin. "A while before you two got hitched. Just before the royal wedding, I think."
>Back when she was seeing you every weekend...
>"Uhh...that a problem?"
"No...no, it's fine." You grumbled.
>Not much about your situation was really "official" anyway.
>You snatch up some socks and head back home.
"You owe me free doughnuts from now on"
>"Wha-Why?"
"You know why, Tidbit Tiddler!" You call back.
>A wife for some damn doughnut holes was fair.

>Fuck. Who knew an armful of socks was such a pain to carry?
>You'd think that with how much time you spent with Celestia, you'd have picked up some magical powers or something.
>Instead all you got was a tan on your dick.
>You were walking through the castle halls when you heard giggling coming from an open door.
>Your natural inquisitiveness starts to act up again.
>No! Fuck you inquisitiveness! You know what happened the last time!
>You find your hand on the door, opening it and stepping inside.
>FFFFFUUUUUUUCK.
>Two figures sat on a couch. One was your in-law and favorite irritation target: Shining Armor
>The other had a black coat, wings, and a horn. But her hair gave her away.
>"Cadence, you have no idea how much this means to me..." Shining said.
>"O-of course dear."
>"It's just that...we were together pretty often before the wedding an-"
>"I get it dear...you made a connec..ti...on...
>Someone fades off as they see you while they have freaky sex for the second time today.
>Both Shining Armor and Chrys-Cadence exchange glances between you and their spouse.
>"Are...you okay, Mous?"
"YES. I AM FINE."
>Cadence gasps. "Did we...leave the door open?"
"HELL YEAH YOU DID."
>The awkwardness is palpable.
>You look over Cadences now black body.
"DID YOU TWO JUST PAINT HER, OR WHAT?"
>Cadence's blush breaks through the layer of black. "It...comes off with water..."
>"Or...saliva..." Shining Armor finishes.
>You step backwards out the door.
"ENJOY YOUR BLACK SHITS, YOU TWO."
>With that, you slam the door and walk upstairs.

>You kick open your door and toss the socks into the corner.
>"Hello~" Comes from your side.
>Your scowl deepens as you see the sight on your bed.
>Celestia had bound herself in fucking red ribbon on the bed.
>She even tied a little bow on the back.
>You were about to go ballistic when you caught yourself.
>Easy. You prepared for this.
>You walked over to the bed and reached into the cooler you kept underneath.
"Talked to Joe about how you two knew each other today."
>"And what did he say~?" Celestia asked.
>You plopped down on the bed and flip on the T.V. with your beer in one hand and secret weapon concealed in the other.
"Apparently, you knew him when you knew me."
>Celestia rolls her eyes. "A mare has needs, Mous. You were only here on weekends."
"Yeah, whatever. Nympho."
>Celestia nuzzles your cheek. "Don't be like that...You know I'd never step out on my favorite husband." She coos.
>Probably only because you'd win then...
"Eh. At least I got free doughnuts out of it."
>Celestia chuckles. "Perhaps I should "know" more people."
"My sloppy seconds rule has not changed since the first time we slept together, Celly."
>"Tight ass."
>The two of you watch T.V. in silence for a bit.
>"...Well, aren't you going to open your present?"
"Oh yeah..."
>You hand shoots out and smacks onto her flank without a word
>"Oh~! I didn't know I was getting to you that much...Perhaps we can start by-
"Look at your ass."
>Celestia looks down to see a sticker covering her Cutie Mark.
>DO NOT OPEN UNTIL CHRISTMAS.