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Flanking Maneuvers Episode 12: Sarcastic Serenades.
By MandroidCreated: 2020-12-19 13:17:29
Expiry: Never
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=Flanking Maneuvers Episode 11=
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-Theme song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZOBRbVCJL4-
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>It was a rare and auspicious day in your life.
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>A day that only came about every once in a blue moon, and not the sister-in-law kind.
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>A day where you and Celly had gotten along all day.
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>You expected The Horsemen any minute now.
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>You and Celly were curled up on the lounge later at night, a photo album in your lap.
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"I remember this..."
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>You lift up a slightly charred photo.
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"This was that time when I said your ass looked fat in all the photos of you."
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>Celly chuckles under your arm. "If only I'd been a bit faster..."
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"Your aim is shit anyways."
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>Celly rolls her eyes and turns the page, lifting a particular photo out.
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>You could hear her sigh contentedly. "Our wedding photo..."
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"That dress makes you look old."
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>"The vomit on your shirt makes you look poor."
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>You scritch her behind the ears a bit.
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"You remember what you did after we got to the room?"
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>"Hah! Do I...?"
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>You kicked the door into the hotel room.
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>"Griffin King" Fuck off.
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>You still were pissed.
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>First she treats you like a fucktoy for months, then she gets you drunk, then she cheats in a hay sausage eating contest, and now she tricks you into marrying her.
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>Celestia practically skipped into the room after you. You had refused to carry her fat ass.
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>"Oh it has just been AGES since I was last married! Now I can try all those things I need a steady partner for!"
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>You walk past her as she schemes and collapse on the animal hide bed.
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>Celly is quick to pry. "What's the matter Mister Saddlesore?"
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"You fucking tricked me, is what happened."
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>Celly rolls her eyes. "There was a time when you'd have anticipated that, Mous. I make no apologies."
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>She levitates a small stereo onto the dresser.
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>"Are you ready to hear about your husbandly duties~?" she asks.
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>You arch an eyebrow.
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"What?"
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>Celly hits play.
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>Celly removed her jewelry as she sang.
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>"I met a monkey one day."
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>"He had a flare for wordplay."
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>"But all of it was risqué."
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>"And now he's in my life."
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>Looks over to you as she pranes around.
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>"One that is SURE to be bliss."
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>"If I missed it, I'd be remiss."
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>"I wasn't looking for this."
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>"But now you're in my life."
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>she nuzzles your face in the bed and walks over to the light switch.
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>"Our tongues are biting."
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>"When it's us we're spiting."
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>"Try to avoid the smiting."
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>"Why is it you're fighting baby?"
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>She takes the lights down and drops a disco ball from the ceiling.
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>"Hey, we just got married, and this is crazy."
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>"But I'm your wife now, so fuck me maybe?"
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>"It's hard to put up with you, baby."
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>"But I'm your wife now, so fuck me maybe?"
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>She keeps prancing around like a tart.
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>"Hey, we just got married, and this is crazy."
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>"But I'm your wife now, so fuck me maybe?"
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>"And all the other boys, try to chase me."
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>"But you're my husband, so fuck me maybe?"
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>She starts tugging at your pants. You don't resist, you are utterly not in the mood.
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>"You came and pulled off a prank."
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>"Told me that I was a skank."
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>"I drew you in with my flank~, and now you're in my life."
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>"We fight, and argue, and yell."
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>"And make life a living hell."
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>"Nobody said it'd do well, but you're in my life."
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>Your shit gets pulled over your head.
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>"Our tongues are biting."
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>"When it's us we're spiting."
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>"Try to avoid the smiting."
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>"Why is it you're fighting baby?"
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>She jumps off you and continues to prance around the room.
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>"Hey, we just got married, and this is crazy."
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>"But I'm your wife now, so fuck me maybe?"
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>"And all the other boys, try to chase me."
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>"But you're my husband, so fuck me maybe?"
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>She's practically bouncing off the walls.
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>"Hey, we just got married, and this is crazy."
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>"But I'm your wife now, so fuck me maybe?"
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>"And all the other boys, try to chase me."
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>"But you're my husband, so fuck me maybe?"
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>She looks to herself in the mirror, mock sadness on her face.
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>"Before you came into my life I just was so bored."
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>"I was so bored... I was so, so bored."
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>"Before you came into my life I just was so bored."
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>"Not even Discord... could make me less bored."
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>What?
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>"It's hard to put up with you, baby."
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>"But I'm your wife now, so fuck me maybe?"
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>She's giddy with excitement over this.
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>"Hey, we just got married, and this is crazy."
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>"But I'm your wife now, so fuck me maybe?"
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>"And all the other boys, try to chase me."
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>"But you're my husband, so fuck me maybe?"
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>She hops on the bed and presents her ass into the air.
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>"Before you came into my life I just was so bored."
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>"I was so bored... I was so, so bored."
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>"Before you came into my life I just was so bored."
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>"Come get your reward."
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>"And fuck me maybe?"
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>The room goes silent as the song ends and the disco ball retreats into the ceiling.
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>Celly is panting on the bed and looking at you with those big stupid eyes of hers.
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>Well if you're married...
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"...What if I'm not in the mood?"
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>You laugh against the back of the lounge.
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"That was the first time I had learned about your fucking musical fetish."
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>She repositions herself next to you. "I never heard you complaining."
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>You flip to another page.
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"Ah, now here we go."
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>You pull out a picture of you and Celly in formal attire and soaking wet.
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>"Ah...the day I learned you could wow a crowd."
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"That's not what this photo says, I think it may be you hitting me with that chair."
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Celly cuddles up onto your lap, shoving the book out of the way. "Do you remember how your song went?"
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>You lean back a bit.
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"I think so...
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>You sat back and tried to snore as loud as you could at the banquet.
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>A bunch of ponies socializing with each other while they chastised your new marriage was not your idea of fun.
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>You had some time ago decided to make this as miserable as possible for everyone involved.
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>Or you would have if Celly hadn't elbowed you.
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>"Will you sit up! you're not helping our case here!" she hissed
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>You slam your feet onto the ground.
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"These ponies already decided our case when they decided we shouldn't have gotten married!"
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>Celestia jerks her head back towards the ballroom. "I can calm them if you'll just go along with this."
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"Yeah, because that's likely."
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>Celly sighs. "Uhg...why does the band not play a decent song when you need them to?"
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>...Song?
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>You hop on the table and snap your fingers twice to get the band to start playing.
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>Ponies from all over the ballroom turn to see their crown prince removing his jacker.
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"Mmm, slut."
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"Mmm, jackass."
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"Aah, whore."
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"Oooh, DICK!"
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>You toss a fruit at the switch and turn the lights down.
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"Poison will... a biting tongue."
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"Taunting words not meant for young."
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"A lack of affection... a push and a shove"
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"Ooh you'll love my ah-oh-ah bitter love"
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>Celestia rolls her eyes as the band continues confused.
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"Bitter love!"
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>Everyp0ny looks confused.
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"I have a wife, who brings about the day."
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"I make sure she doesn't get her way."
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"I know her modesty - it almost isn't there."
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"So all you ponies had best go and beware."
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>You need a hat for this.
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>You swipe one off some shocked looking stallion and jump to the floor.
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"I feel good - a special kind of spiteful."
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"The plans I've got are frankly rather frightful."
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"I think I'll drive her mad with laxatives in sweets!"
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"Get off your asses, ponies. And I'll tell you of me feats!"
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>You throw off grandiose gestures and as saucy dance moves as you can from another table.
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"Piss in drinks! Fires in bed!"
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"Painting all her body red!"
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"All that's cruel - all that's cold."
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"And some things that can't be told!"
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>Celly blushes at mention of something you called "The Falicitator."
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"And after dinner I could go for something sweet"
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>You stomp over in front of Celly.
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"REVENGE! For a night of making me be...discrete."
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"I'm gonna mock and taunt everything that you do."
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"And when those run out --I'll think of something new! Ha ha!"
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>You fall onto your ass and almost crash the table.
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"'Cause that look on your face always makes it worthwhile."
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"And it's that look that never fails to make me smile."
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"And what a beautiful event you have provided"
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"To carve a path of fun with my quick wit to guide it!"
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>You tear off one of your sleeves.
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"Hit me one time!"
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>You tear off the other.
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"Hit me twice!"
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>With a few rips and tear and your shirt is in tatters on the floor.
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"Ahhh - that's rather nice!"
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>Celly is blushing up a storm, some of the other mares are too.
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"Poison words... a biting tongue."
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"Taunting words not meant for young."
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"A lack of affection... a push and a shove."
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"Ooh you'll love my (ah-oh-ah) bitter love."
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>You break into your trademarked laughter as the song ends.
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>Celly stops you by pulling you off the table into your seat again.
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>"And that's the show! Goodnight everyp0ny!"
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>The ponies turned and walked out of the ballroom into another with confused faces before Celly pulled your chair out from under you and hit you with it.
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>You and Celly share a laugh on the lounge.
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"I think I still have a bruise from that chair."
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>"Oh don't pull that, you've had worse blows to the head."
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"But that one was emotionally damaging! My own loving wife striking my so crassly." you say with a slight whimper.
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>Celly rolls over and smiles up at you. "Has all this talk of music put you in a mood too~?"
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>You DID like a good duet...
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"Perhaps I could be persuaded with another..."
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>Celly gets a devious smile and rolls off the couch.
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>"I have just the one." she says as she moves to the stereo.
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>The music starts and Celly's grin only grows wider.
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"You're terrible."
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>"You like terrible~"
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"What is it you want from this?"
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>"Why, only one thing, dear." she says.
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>"Come to bed! Come to Bed!"
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>"Go on and give your legs a spread."
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>"Just sit back and relax, my dear."
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>"And I'll provide the head~."
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>You giggle a bit despite yourself.
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>"From the back."
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>"From the front."
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>"If you'll allow me to be blunt."
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>"Pull my hair some, it's fantastic!"
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>"And I'd like to try something a bit spastic."
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>She closes the balcony and uses her magic to light up the room.
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>You push off the lounge.
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>"I can lick, I can suck."
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>"Just so long as we both fuck"
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>"And a night together's always rather fun~"
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>"Go on, and lose those pants."
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>"Look just how I prance."
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"Come to bed?"
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>"Yes, to bed."
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>"Come to bed!"
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>You had to get in on this.
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"Light some scents."
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>"Get some wood!"
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"With us it's always good! "
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>"We'll prepare and screw with flair just the way sex always should!"
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>"We're together, we've got leather and this lovely little feather~."
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>"You're always gloomy or complaining."
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>"Am I really all that draining?"
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>"Crack a smile!"
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>"Tell a joke!"
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>"Show me the passion I evoke!"
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>"And move around a bit to show me you're not dead!"
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>She hops onto the bed.
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>"Come on and move your ass you've won your own free pass"
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>"To come to bed."
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>"No one works in your stead just listen to what I said."
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>"Come to bed! Come to bed! Come to bed!"
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>Celly falls to her side and adopts a mock sad stare as you walk to one side of the bed.
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>"Life was just so boring...even when I was out whoring."
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>"I could not wait to find a mate for a quick lay..."
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>"Ahh those good ol' days when held my interest."
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>"Now I see those days have gone away..."
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>"MILLENIA I've been living have been both taking it and giving."
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>"Needing anything to occupy my mind."
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>"Most days I would just lay here in my bedroom..."
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>Her face lights up and she hops off the bed again.
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>"Always stuck in estrus you walked in and oh my goodness!"
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>Your turn.
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>You get your "Pissed off stare" despite your mood and join in.
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"Come to bed! Come to bed!"
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"Bitch, that's all you've ever said!"
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"Every day until I'm grey that will be drilled into my head."
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>You smack Celestia's open mouth closed.
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"Just take your mouth and clamp it shut."
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"I know it's hard, you ancient slut."
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"I knew the challenge when we married."
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"I want to avoid being harried."
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"It isn't like I really mind so by the Five, don't fucking whine."
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"Au contraire! You know we have to play instead!"
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>You dance around the room a bit up next to her.
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"I know that it's my job."
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"Make sure you're not macabre."
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"And I'll go to bed."
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>Go to bed?!"
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"Go to bed!"
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>You and Celly prance around and start to sing in tune together.
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>"Come to bed!"
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>"Come to bed! Come to bed!"
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>"Come to bed!"
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>"Come to bed! Come to bed!"
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>"Grab a piece of sheet and shred!"
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>"It is routine to act so mean and we've got lots of fun ahead!"
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>"Every night right on time."
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>"Sometimes we don't even speak in rhyme!"
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>"While the candlelight's still glowing"
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>"You shouldn't stop cause I'll keep going!"
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>Celly grabs a hat and cane from the nightstand as the music becomes incredibly grand.
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>"Round by round, one by one!"
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>"That's the deal when you fuck the sun!"
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>"And to think that this used to fill us up with dread!"
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>"After the sunlight goes off"
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>"It's time to get those clothes off!"
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>"Come to bed! Come to bed!"
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>"Come to bed!"
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>"Please, come to bed!"
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>The music shuts off with Celly's light filling the room.
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>The sound of the two of you laughing in complete darkness probably woke the guards before you fell onto the bed and calmed down.
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>"Hehe...always a pleasure to sing with you, dear."
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"Wish I could say the same, Miss Tone Deaf."
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>You feel a wing drape over you. "Ass."
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>You relax a bit on the bed before your slutty wife's vices get back at her. "So...about that mood~..."
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"Hehe..."
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>You stroke her leg a bit.
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>"Well, "Beauty"...and I use that term loosely."
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>Celly lets out a sharp gasp as you slide your hand off her leg and somewhere...else.
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"Meet the Beast~..."
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