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2309 12.64 KB 189
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=Bros in Equestria Bonus Story: Insurance=
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>Year 1183 in Equestria.
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>The bridge of the Delphinus hummed as you looked to the platform below.
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>It stuck straight out of The Quiet Sea to the southeast of Equestira.
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>It kinda reminded you of an oil derrick from back on Earth, save that this one didn't have a drill going down below the waves, just a large fortress of a structure on top.
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>You and Anon had rushed out here as soon as you heard the news.
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>As Royal Logician, you were in close with he spymaster and had a few of his minions doing work for you.
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>One of your longest standing orders was to keep watch for anything that could be considered a gun.
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>You and Anon agreed one hundred percent, Equestria would not benefit in any way by tossing firearms into the mix.
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>The Princesses were made aware of the situation and agreed to try and snuff out any firearms research before it started, Equestria didn't need some orbital friendship cannon, or something.
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>You now circled the only place on the planet that had working guns.
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>Spies had reported back to Canterlot that one "Doctor Crowley" had built up a functional firearm and was experimenting with different ammunitions.
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>You didn't know where he got the idea or the theory, but you weren't going to let it get any further.
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>Those guns were going up in smoke.
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>Anon looks out the front viewport down at the platform.
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>"How do you think he built this thing? The spies said he was a unicorn."
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"Probably an old structure, he might be squatting."
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>You point a finger towards the south side.
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"There looks like a good place to land."
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>"And a good place to flood this rock with troops." the griffin beside you says.
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>You turn to glare at him. [spoiler][/spoiler] "Knowing that he may have dangerous new technology in there?"
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>"My fliers and the marines are more than ready for a few fast rocks."
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>You reach up and whack a pair of fingers across Eitri's head causing him to wince and rub his talon over it.
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"You don't throw people away on a hunch, boy. Anon and I will scope it out."
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>Eitri continued to rub his head yet assumed his position on the bridge, not without a "Reckless old man..." from him first.
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>True this was probably reckless as hell.
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>But you and Anon were the only ones who knew what you were really dealing with here.
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>Plus, you got a god killed and helped win a war.
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>It's not like this isn't routine by now.
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>You and Anon step off the lifeboat and onto the platform.
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>There was a long walkway leading to the interior of the fortress.
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>Curiously, there was no living thing anywhere else on the rig.
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>"You think he does all his own research?" Anon asks.
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"These crazies always do..."
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>The two of you walk along the path further into the main building.
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>"You think he sees us?" Anon whispers.
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"Wouldn't put it past him...this is all very Bond Villain-ish..."
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>You both cross through the entrance into the dimly lit interior.
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>Just in time for the thick metal door to come crashing down behind you.
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>Neither you nor Anon turn to act surprised, just releasing an exasperated sigh.
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"Knew it."
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>"Eeeyup."
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>Speakers above you sprung to life with a low rumbling voice.
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>"So...they have sent an errand boy and a globe trotter to stop me...I'm flattered." it says.
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>You look up to the scyring devices he probably has in the ceiling.
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"Look, Crowley? Can we just wrap this up so we can blow up your lab and go home?"
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>You had a Princess to bother.
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>A door at the far end of the hallway opened up.
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>"Hehehe...welcome to my parlor said the spider to the flies..." Crowley cooed over the speakers.
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>You and Anon both roll your eyes.
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"And now we start with the gloating..."
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>"They always gloat. Why do they always gloat?"
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>Anon's question goes unanswered as you prepare to be herded along like cattle.
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>An hour or two later, you and Anon are still trudging through Crowley's "death fortress" as you listen to him ramble.
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>You side stepped an obvious trip wire as you passed that pipe for what you're sure was the eighth time.
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>Crowley blathered the whole time.
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"To think that you wanted to STOP this research! Think of how the world would be changed by learning of these devices! My name will go down in history books as the most important inventor who ever lived!"
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>"Greatest pain in the ass who ever lived is more like it..." Anon says.
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>You flip David out and cut a trip wire ahead of you.
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"Honestly, Crowley. Do you even listen to yourself when you say that crap?"
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>"You sound like a madman, pal."
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"Hell, he probably is. He knows what he's doing but there's no way that's stopping him."
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>"The world deserves to know! This is progress!" he shouts.
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>Anon tosses an ice spell at a revving up fire trap. "Bad progress."
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"Yeah! Why ya gotta go and be a cock about your science! Are you not happy in a world with magic and crap? You gotta throw assault weapons into the mix?"
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>You can hear him fumbling with his mic. "This is for the progression of SCIENCE! Something the two of you seem content to keep from us! With your knowledge you could create the strongest nation ont he planet!"
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"Built on the blasted bones of everyone else."
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>Crowley starts ranting about the purity of scientific studies, but you don't hear as you turn to Anon.
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"Shut him up, will ya?"
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>Anon nods and tosses a spell at the wall, splintering it into pieces.
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>You both step through the cloud of dust and split wires into a veritable armory.
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>Around the room on dozens of stands stood guns.
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>Some were long, others short, some fat and some skinny. All of them propped up and put on display.
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>The two of you walk around the room and looked at the pieces.
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>One in front of you had a spinning orange center and a barrel the width of your thumb.
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>A small plaque on the stand read. "Heat gun. Shelved due to instability in magnetic containment system."
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>Anon speaks up from his end. "Rock Launcher. Shelved due to inconsistent durability of ammunition."
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>You look around the room, there were dozens of weapons in here.
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"These are the failures..."
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>Anon and you continue to walk around the room.
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>Anon stops at a window. "Hey, man, come look at this."
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>You step up behind him and look down, in the center of a large room was a metal sphere, glowing panels adorning the outside.
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>Big thick wires stretched from the top of the sphere along the ceiling and into various other parts of the fortress.
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"Power generator?"
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>"Looks like."
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>You look back to the armory.
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"You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"
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>Anon matches your devious grin. "Oh yeah."
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>You and Anon stood in the blown out window of the power generator, various guns from around the room in hand.
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"For those about to rock."
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>"We salute you."
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>You and Anon level the weapons at the generator and pull the triggers.
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>Heat and rocks and metal and sound are hurled at the generator at high speeds.
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>As the rounds punch through the casing, blue smoke and green fire erupt from the holes.
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>The ammunition in your weapons expended, you drop them to the ground and switch to others.
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>Magical bursts rip the generator apart and shake the fortress.
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>Lights flicker and wink out as their power supply is cut, sending the halls into the red din of emergency lighting.
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>That continues for a bit, each of you dropping a weapon only to grab another and continue to destroy the reactor.
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>As the reactor enters its death throes, it belches one final gout of smoke into the air.
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>You and Anon kick the guns into the chamber to be incinerated along with the reactor as you turn and walk out.
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>"We need to do more things that end in science explosions." Anon says.
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"I'm down."
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>You and Anon get back to the place you came in as the factory/lab behind you billows smoke.
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>"Why do all bad guys fortresses end up on fire or falling to pieces?" Anon asks.
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"Probably some magic crap. I've stopped trying to figure out how this place works in all my year."
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>You and Anon make your way along to the lifeboat, stopping when a loud BANG and the ping of metal on metal stops you.
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>The both of you have been around the block more than once, you're on the ground once the bang sounds.
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>You glance back from the pipe you were hiding behind.
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>He was a tall lanky stallion, a burnt golden coat and a long blonde mane tied in a bun.
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>Floating around him was six of the proto-guns that you had seen in the armory.
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>"You are both fast. Faster than I admit I gave you credit for." he says.
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>Anon slowly rises to his feet. "I take it yo-
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>You beat him to it.
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"MIIIIIIIIIIISTAH CROWLEY!"
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>Anon shoots a dour glare at you.
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"What?"
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>He knew it was coming eventually.
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>Another round ricochets off the pipe in front of you.
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>Damn! That was too accurate!
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>Crowley chuckles. "I finally figured it out...the perfect shape for the projectiles..."
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>He brandishes his guns again, this time firing at Anon. "Who knew that a simple conical shape would offer such possibilities?"
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>Another bang against the pipe punctuates him.
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>Crowley splits his attention between the two of you, sending shot after shot your way.
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>The guns are far too advanced for how long they've been here, and with three a piece, a veritable tide of bullets rushes towards you.
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"Dammit, does this guy not run out of ammo!?"
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>"He may have a 4D spell inlaid on the guns!" Anon shouts back.
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>As the bullets ricochet off the pipes, you make sever quick hand gestures to Anon.
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>Over the sound of his own laughing, Crowley doesn't notice Anon going into his pouch.
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>You close your eyes and try to hear the rhythmic pounding of the weapons, trying to anticipate an opening.
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>When you hear all the guns fire at once, you snap open your eyes.
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>Anon flings a crystal at Crowley, sending smoke exploding out in front of him.
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>You rush him with David drawn, but he clears his face quickly.
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>Shit!
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>Thinking as fast as you can, you tackle him to the ground, causing his weapons to scatter.
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>He gets his legs underneath you and pushes you off with all his might.
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>You bounce and land a few feet behind him as you slowly rise.
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>The reflection of sunlight off steel catches your eye.
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>Below you on the ground rested two pistols.
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>...Didn't have to tell you twice.
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>You grab the guns and snap them up as Crowley rose.
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>A second that passed like an eternity went by, Crowley's face slowly realizing his situation.
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>You pulled the hammers back and looked down range.
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"Dance for me."
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>The pistols slammed into your palm as you pulled the simple triggers and sent rounds screaming into Crowley.
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>He raised a shield just in time to stop the bullets, surprise and shock splashing over his face.
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>Anon jumped out of his pipe while Crowley was distracted, tossing concussive and explosive spells at Crowley from the other side.
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>A full dome shield appeared around the tinkerer, sparks and bangs bouncing off it.
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>The remaining weapons in Crowley's grip shook but did not move as the unicorn was forced to pay full attention to the onslaught.
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"Close it!"
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>You and Anon slowly and methodically walked towards Crowley, keeping the pressure up.
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>As you get closer, the rate at which attacks are repelled by his shield increase.
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>You see his eyes nearly bug out of his head as the strain mounts.
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>In moments, you hear him gasp and watch him fall to the ground as the shield fails.
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>The two of you pull back just in time to avoid killing the poor sap as he falls to the ground.
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>Still doesn't stop a round from punching into the ground by his head.
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>Crowley gasps and pants at your feet, his eyes glazing over as the stresses of keeping his shield up pass.
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>"Consider your research over." Anon says.
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>The stallion laughs a tired laugh. "Just as the old stories said..."
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>You take a knee next to him.
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"Eh?"
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>Crowley coughs again. "Crowley" is not my true name, ape...my true name... is Crab Apple..."
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>You and Anon glance from the unicorn to each other.
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>"No way." you say in unison.
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>He coughs again. "Yes...my ancestor was the younger sister to the great Element of Honesty herself..."
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>Crab looks back up at the two of you. "Stories of "The Two Apes go back in my family for generations..."
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>He rests his head back down on the ground as you both work around having just beat up little Apple Bloom's great-great-great-whatever grandson.
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"Still..." you say after a while.
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>You look down to him.
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"You wanted to bring tools of violence into Equestria that are better left alone."
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>"It was for...science..." he gasps out before losing consciousness.
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>"It was for your own selfish reasons." Anon spits.
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>You could level with him. He probably couldn't stand a selfish scientist.
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"I guess the apple..."
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>You lift your guns up next to you.
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"Doesn't fall far from the tree."
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>The factory behind you explodes, sending a fireball into the sky and blotting out the setting sun.
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>Yeah.
by Mandroid
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