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- =Flanking Maneuvers Musical Short 4=
- >So bored, can't focus.
- >You were sitting with your feet up on the table as the sun shown down into your face.
- >That was the shit part of marrying Celestia, she had all the time in the world to practice her aim.
- >You were in an outdoor cafe listening to Celestia and Fleur drone on and on about dongs or whatever bored out of your skull.
- >You were SUPPOSED to have your bro Fancy Pants here, but Fleur had show up alone saying that Fancy would be missing today, citing a "mysterious illness" that was keeping him in bed all day.
- >You were guessing horn rot.
- >And meanwhile, Celly and Fleur would NOT shut up.
- >"Qui, I must say that athletes are truly some of the best there is~."
- >Celly titters. "Fleur dear, remind me to tell you of the spark of an artist, truly inspirational~."
- >Fleur and Celestia continue to giggle like schoolgirls as you right yourself.
- "What ARE you two going on about?"
- >The girls's eyes snap back and forth between you and each other as they giggle some more.
- >Celly is the first to compose herself. "Oh, you know..."
- >"Exes~" Fleur finishes.
- >You throw a hand into the air.
- "So I guess we'll be stuck here all day, then?"
- >The girls chuckle a bit. "Perhaps the crown prince is getting a bit jealous~?"
- >Celly laughs heartily. "Fleur, dear, I believe you have hit the nail on the proverbial head!"
- >You roll your eyes and grunt.
- "I hold my own."
- >Celly rests her chin on her hooves. "Oh, but dear, how can you stand out against all my ex lovers?"
- >You rise from your seat and tap a finger on your lip.
- >Bingo~
- "I'm memorable."
- >"What do you mean, Mous?" Celly asks.
- >You boop her nose.
- "Allow me to illuminate it for you~"
- "Well Princess Platinum had ruled Equestria, Luna slept a thousand years."
- "But Celly you in luck 'cause up your sleeves you got a hubby really grinds your gears!"
- >You grab a stallions hat and dance around the table.
- "You got more mischief in your corner now, aint no need for you to go and pout."
- "I got the punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how!"
- "See all you gotta do is shout! And I'll say:"
- >You hop up on the table and look down on your wife.
- "Princess Celestia, what will your pleasure be~?"
- "Let me take your order, jot it down"
- >You lean down and get in her face.
- "You ain't never had a man like me!"
- "No no no!"
- >You spin around once and leap off the table.
- "When you need the spice of life, I'm the guy to see!"
- "C'mon whisper what it is you want, You ain't never had a man like me!"
- >You slide up between Celly and Fleur.
- "You see, I pride myself on service, I'll make you laugh, chortle, guffaw!"
- "I do what you wish, you'll like, ya bitch."
- "Make everybody stare in awe!"
- >You spin over and flick Fleur's horn, getting an "Eep!" from the Prenchmare.
- "I'll take a bit from column "A", try all from column "B"!"
- >You spin over and flick Celly's horn twice as hard.
- "I've got a mind to be unkind."
- "You ain't never had a man like me"
- >You strut out onto the serving floor and dance with a confused server.
- "Can your men do this?"
- >You grab a tray and wing it across the room, denting a brass pole.
- "Did your men do that?"
- >You grab a handful of cake and cram it in Celly's mouth.
- "Do your men pull this out their little hat?"
- >You pop the hat off your head and pull a replacement slice out you swiped while Celly cleared her face.
- "Can your men go, poof?"
- >You sweep some pepper into a servers face and snatch his meal, brandishing it for the girls.
- "Well, looky here."
- >You spin the tray on your hand and toss it into the air, raining food down on everyone.
- "Can your men go, Abracadabra, let 'er rip, and then make the sucker disappear?"
- >You casually dodge the falling tray and walk up to a shocked Celly.
- "So doncha sit there slack jawed, buggy eyed, I'm here to answer all your midnight prayers~"
- >You slap her jaw shut.
- "You got me bona fide, certified. You got a hubby, won't stay out of your hair!"
- "I got a powerful urge to piss you off, So what-cha hate? I really wanna know."
- "Try and grow a smile there babe, don't scoff."
- >You grab Celly's mouth and twist it into a smile.
- "Well, all you gotta do is go like so - and oh"
- >You dance by yourself a few feet from the table.
- "Princess Celestia, you get all of this for free, cause I'm on the job, you slut nabob!"
- "You ain't never had a man, never had a man"
- >You grab a server approaching you and spin him away.
- "You ain't never had a man, never had a man."
- "You ain't never had a man like me"
- >You run and slide along the floor back to the girls.
- "You ain't never had a man like me, hah!"
- >You rise from your feet as the food slides off you and toss the hat.
- "Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all ni-GAK!"
- >You're lifted off the ground by a magical aura and walked to the exit.
- >"I can't take you anywhere, can I?" Celly asks.
- >You stare at your wife as she floats you upside down.
- "You took me to Cadence's Birthday last week!"
- >"And you only caused three broken bones! A new record!" she says sardonically.
- "It's not my fault King Sombrero showed up!"
- >Or whatever the hell his name was.
- "Well, what about that derby?"
- >Celly rolls her eyes. "You mean the derby that sent the Wonderbolts to the hospital and ended the season early?"
- >Shit, you were dead to rights.
- >Time to break out the big guns.
- "Well what about that time at the zoo with all those kids?!"
- >Celly suddenly drops you on the ground and thrust her head an inch from yours.
- >"You had your hand up my flank for over an hour!"
- >The only sound on the street is the sound of the wind blowing and Celly's hard breathing.
- "Yeah, well, you said you couldn't find your bit pouch so I looked in your "pocket"."
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