BiE Bonus Chapter: In Which Someone is Hit with a Chair.


                                            =Bros in Equestria Bonus Story: In Which Someone is Hit with a Chair=


                                            >Year 3 in Equestria.

                                            >You gently place the last Marine in the box and slide it over next to the rest of them.

                                            "Go with Him, Marine..."

                                            >Today was moving day, the day you and Lotus clear out of the old house and make way for Thunderstrike to move in with his new mom and dad.

                                            >You walk out to the kitchen and pass Lotus sweeping up in the living room with her hair tied in a bun.

                                            >Filling a box half full of pots was your next challenge, Anon wanted to get new stuff for the new addition.

                                            "Can't believe he gets to go to the city to meet his kid and we're stuck here cleaning house."

                                            >"It's for family, dear." Lotus says.

                                            "That kid aint family yet."

                                            >Lotus laughs. "I've seen you around him, you like him."

                                            >The kid had spirit.

                                            >You start grabbing pots out of the cupboard and putting them into the box.

                                            >Some time passes before a frantic knocking comes at your door.

                                            "Uhg..."

                                            >Lotus catches on to your groaning quickly. "Estrus isn't for months dear, don't worry!"

                                            >You roll your eyes and open the door. On the other side there is a rather frantic looking brown "stallion".

                                            "Oh hell-"

                                            >He rambles something off so fast you can't understand it.

                                            "Hooves, slow down, use your words."

                                            >He takes a deep breath. "MousIneedyourhelphetookDinky!"

                                            "...Words. Doctor." you spit.

                                            >He closes his eyes and seems to visibly calm a bit. When he opens his eyes you can see the worry and concern in them.

                                            "Mous, please, I need your help. He...took Dinky."

                                            >...

                                            >What.


                                            >After a quick jaunt back inside to your room to grab David and shout back to Lotus, you and Hooves shoot off the porch and down the road back to town.

                                            >The two of you eat the distance at best speed franticly searching for Dinky.

                                            "What in the hell happened!?"

                                            >Hooves gallops along next to you with panic in his eyes. "Dinky's father came back into town and apparently demanded to see his daughter after all this time!"

                                            "And who the hell is that!?"

                                            >"Pokey Peirce!"

                                            >Fucking Pokey.

                                            >Pokey liked to stop by at the spa fairly often, he would always complain that his magic was giving him headaches.

                                            >You didn't know that he was Dinky's dad, but it made some sense. He had apparently been in town for a long while and he had always talked about Derpy like he knew her when she came up.

                                            "So he just waltz in and took her!?"

                                            >Hooves shakes his head. "He asked for her and Derpy refused, that's when he took her! I only found out a short time ago!"

                                            >He took her? Straight from Derpy?

                                            >That would not stand.

                                            >You felt your anger boil over as you ran faster and faster towards town, Hooves right on your tail the entire way.


                                            >You tear ass through the town looking for house 404.

                                            >The way was just like you remembered.

                                            >Hang a left at the fork, cut across the town square, hop the bridge and the fourth house on the right.

                                            >You burst through the front door and swivel your neck around trying to find them.

                                            "Dinky?! POKEY! Come out!"

                                            >Hooves comes in moments after you and blows right past you upstairs.

                                            >Well if anyone knows where they're going here...

                                            >You run upstairs after Hooves and into a room at the end of the hall with a crying Derpy on it.

                                            >Oh god...your heart...

                                            I feel you, man.

                                            >I know you do, heart.

                                            >Hooves hops onto the bed and throws hugs Derpy against his chest.

                                            >You wait by the door while they talk.

                                            >"Sweetheart...it's okay."

                                            >Derpy sniffs. "No...no it's not. H-he took her..."

                                            >"What happened. honey?"


                                            >She sniffs again and sits up straighter. "He...burst in while you were out and said Dinky had to come with him...that it was his right as a father and that she had to see how living normally was..."

                                            >Some father...taking a kid away from a happy home.

                                            >Derpy wipes her misaimed eyes. "He threatened me...with his horn when I wouldn't give him Dinky."

                                            >Pokey had always had both a longer and sharper horn than most unicorns, it was the basis of his cutie mark and had attracted him more than a bit of "attention" from the mares around town.

                                            >That he used it as a weapon against Derpy...

                                            >You feel your pulse quicken.

                                            "Derpy do you know where he went? It's important."

                                            >Her eyes focus for a second as she thinks. "He...said he was going to Fillydelphia. Something about meeting his family."

                                            >You put your hand on Hooves' shoulder.

                                            "If we're gonna catch him, we have to go yesterday."

                                            >Hooves pats Derpy on the back of the head. "Would you like to come with us, sweetheart?"

                                            >Derpy's eyes narrow. "You bet."

                                            >With that the three of you are out the door.


                                            >You, Derpy, and Hooves run through the center of town as fast as you can, stopping in front of the town hall.

                                            >Ponies mill about and give you a wide berth as you look every which way for any sight of him.

                                            >Derpy extends a hoof and points down the road towards the train station. "There!"

                                            >You follow her hoof and see Pokey trotting down the road with a squirming Dinky in his magical grip.

                                            "HALT CRIMINAL SCUM!"

                                            >Pokey's head whips around and you swear you can see his pupils shrink even at this distance.

                                            "GET HIM!"

                                            >Pokey cringes and runs inside down the road, barreling through other ponies along the way.

                                            >The three of you tail him as best you can as you twist and turn through the town.

                                            "Derpy! Fly over the houses and cut him off at the train station!"

                                            >Derpy nods and goes into the sky and over a roof leaving just you and Hooves.

                                            >You round the last corner and spot Pokey and Derpy having a glaring contest while Dinky floats in the air grinning like a madmare at the sight of her mother.

                                            >Derpy had her own version of The Stare when her eyes aligned, one possibly more frightening and powerful as Pokey was now experiencing.


                                            "POKEY!"

                                            >He turns around and glares at the two of you. "Stupid meddlers!" he shouts before dashing into the nearby bowling alley.

                                            >You and Hooves meet Derpy at the door and pause before entering.

                                            >Derpy looks to the two of you. "What's wrong? He has Dinky!"

                                            >You and Hooves look to each other.

                                            "He also has magic and big heavy bowling balls to throw."

                                            >Derpy's eyes fall. "But...we have to get her..."

                                            >You sigh...

                                            "Derpy... There's an old Earth saying. A phrase of great power and wisdom, and consolation to the soul in times of need."

                                            >Hooves gives you a knowing smirk. "And what's that then?"

                                            >You kick open the bowling alley doors.

                                            "YOLO!"


                                            -Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdihqgNEwFY-

                                            >No sooner do you get the door open than a bowling ball is thrown at you.

                                            >You duck to the side as the ball whizzes past you and look inside to see Pokey standing on a table with his eyes ablaze.

                                            "Oh he's AAALLL lit up now!"

                                            >You rush into the bowling alley and dive to the right, missing another volley of bowling balls by moments.

                                            "Doc! Go left!"

                                            >Hooves rushes in and slides under a collection of chairs as balls bounce off the side of it.

                                            >Peirce backs up towards the rear of the alley as he levitates more balls to him.

                                            >"Back off, the both of you! I am this girls rightful father and I won't have two aliens telling me how to raise her!"

                                            >Shit, he knew?

                                            >Dinkie squirms and screams in Peirce's grip. "Let me go! You're not me real dad!"

                                            >D'aww.

                                            >Pokey shakes Dinky around. "Be quiet, you little brat!"

                                            >Jeez, what did Derpy used to see in this guy?

                                            Probably something that wasn't there considering her eyes.

                                            >Oh fuck you, Brain. That was below the belt.

                                            "Doc! Split up!"


                                            >You break out of your cover and rush Pokey, Doc following your lead on the other side of the alley.

                                            >Pokey levels a collection of bowling balls at you and prepares to fire...

                                            >...At least before a mechanical whirring sound comes from Hooves' end of the alley and the bal returners start spewing bowling balls at him at high speed.

                                            >Pokey grunts and groans as the hard plastic from the balls smacks into him and disrupts his focus.

                                            >You close the distance and grab the nearest weapon you can: a metal folding chair.

                                            >You push off a shoe rack and swing your chair in a high arc over your head, knocking the electric light as you do.

                                            >The light bursts into sparks just in time for you to bring the chair down on Pokey Peirce's head.

                                            >Pokey's head bucks and snaps about as you slam the chair down on his head.

                                            >Hooves' runs up and catches Dinky before she hits the ground while you continue to go to town on Pokey.

                                            >Mous. Mous! MOUS!" Hooves' shouts.

                                            "Eh?" you say.

                                            >"He's down..."

                                            >You look down at the unicorn underneath you as he spits a bloody tooth from his mouth.

                                            "Oh..."

                                            >You stand at your full height and cup your mouth with your hands.

                                            "Is there a Doctor in the house?"


                                            >A half hour or so later the guards came to haul Pokey Peirce away for kidnapping and child endangerment charges.

                                            >After a quick trip to the hospital.

                                            >You watch from a couple dozen feet away as the happy family is reunited.

                                            >Derpy hugs both her parents in the middle of the street after the successful rescue, a few tears being shed amongst them.

                                            >"Did you have an interesting time after you burst out of the house?" a voice behind you says.

                                            >You turn around and catch Lotus walking up behind you.

                                            "Hey pretty pony. Yeah, I'd say I had a good day."

                                            >She sits down next to you and watches the scene unfurl.

                                            >"Only a concussion today?"

                                            >You point to Dinky and her family. [spoiler][/spoiler] "I'd say it's worth it."

                                            >Lotus sighs. "I might agree."

                                            >The two of you watch Pokey get taken away and Dinky and her family return home.

                                            >You nudge Lotus with your hip.

                                            "Kids, huh?"

                                            >She gives you an incredulous look.

                                            >You flash a smile.

                                            "Aw c'mon. The new place is gonna be bigger than here."

                                            >Lotus turns around and walks home. "Too big, if you ask me."

                                            >You run to catch up with her.

                                            "A baby's head is only about the size of a melon! Stop being a puss!"