Flanking Maneuvers Thread 777 Spectacular.


                                            =Flanking Maneuvers Bonus Chapter=


                                            >Canterlot.

                                            >Early fucking morning, like, pre-sun-up.

                                            >You doze soundly on your back, wrapped in the finest sheets a Prince-Consort's reputation could get, so pretty damn nice ones.

                                            >Besides you, the impossibly wide ass of your wife Princess Celestia sleeps with her mouth wiiiiide open.

                                            >And down the hall, your new tenant starts screaming up a storm.

                                            >"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

                                            >You groan and grumble as whatever you were dreaming about is destroyed by the sound, Celestia tosses and turns similarly next to you.

                                            >Oh fuck you, not again.

                                            "Your daughter is screaming again..."

                                            >Her tail whips you in the leg. "Before sunrise, she's YOUR daughter."

                                            "Fuck off, you need to raise the sun soon anyway..."

                                            >"I'm the monarch and I need my sleep."

                                            >You curl up into a blanket ball.

                                            "Nuuuuh!"

                                            >Celestia grumbles and lifts her head up. "Daddy will be there soon, sweetheart!"

                                            >Oh fuck you, that was dirty.

                                            >Your legs swing out over the bed even as you tell them not to.

                                            "I swear on my non-grave, I'm getting you back for this."

                                            >"Oh just do it."


                                            >You slog your way through the dark apartment and through the cracked open door into the nursery. Inside is a crib. Inside that crib is a tiny little filly of white coat and blue mane with gold highlights.

                                            >She was currently making you deaf.

                                            >You reach in and rub your finger over her cheek.

                                            "Astra. Astra, Asty, daddy needs you to stop now please."

                                            >She keeps crying.

                                            >Balls.

                                            >Okay, you can do this, you're a good daddy.

                                            >You pick her up and sniff her butt. To your relief, it's not rank.

                                            >That narrows it down.

                                            >You put your baby girl on your shoulder and begin patting her back.

                                            >It's times like this you use her calming song.

                                            >Luckily it seems your musical taste was genetic.

                                            "We'll run away together, we'll spend some time forever, we'll never feel bad anymore."

                                            >You pop your hips as you sing the beat, Astra calming down on your shoulder. You needed to do SOMETHING to stay awake.

                                            >To your infinite relief, Astra burps and settles into your shoulder after a few moments.

                                            >Ha...

                                            "That's my girl..."


                                            >You walk in on Celly a few hours later after having fallen asleep with Astra on your shoulder. She's brushing her hair after raising the sun over the horizon.

                                            >Astra coos and reaches her tiny hooves out towards her mother. "Abbababababa!"

                                            >Celestia chuckles and floats the foal over to her, rubbing their noses together. "Yyyyes! Who's my favorite little girl?"

                                            "Don't talk to my daughter like she's a moron."

                                            >"Talking like this to a five month old is not calling her a moron."

                                            "Babies can understand how you talk to them even at that age, talk to her like a normal person, like with dogs."

                                            >"Did you just call our child a dog?" she asks offended.

                                            >You snap your fingers. Behind you, Astra perks up. "Bark bark!" she says.

                                            >Celestia can see your shit eating grin from here.

                                            >"You did that to annoy me."

                                            "No shit."

                                            >"Is that all our daughter is to you? Another scheme to make my hair go grey?" she asks with a lip quiver.

                                            >You throw your hands up and put on your offended voice.

                                            "GOOD HEAVENS, NO!"

                                            >You walk over and kiss Astra on the forehead next to her horn.

                                            "She's my totally adorable little scheme to make your hair go grey and I love her to death."

                                            >"Ababababbooababab!"

                                            >You rub her cheeks and giggle.

                                            "And I better be the only boy getting near that horn for sixteen years!" you say extra cheery.

                                            >Celestia rolls her eyes. "So restrictive. I was courting boys before that age."

                                            "It shows."

                                            >She rolls her eyes again, this time frowning.

                                            >You kiss her cheek and hand Astra over again.

                                            "Relax, you make it work."

                                            >The sight of her little girl warms the Slut Queen's heart and she smiles again, albeit probably reluctantly. "Yes, well, get dressed and I'll clean her so we can go to breakfast."

                                            "She's just gonna get dirty again."

                                            >Celly shrugs. "Like parents like children."


                                            >"Aaaaaaaahhh..."

                                            "Thaaat's it, a little more. Here comes the dirigible."

                                            >"She doesn't know what that is, dear."

                                            "Are you calling my girl stupid?"

                                            >You make a puttering sound with your lips as you guide the spoon full of baby chow into Astra's mouth.

                                            >"Mmmmmmmm!" she says slurping down the squash flavored gunk. Of course, Astra was a baby and was thus wearing just as much of the food as she ate.

                                            >The both of you were. At the breakfast table no less.

                                            >You didn't really care.

                                            >Astra smiles as you wipe some of the food off her cheek and feed it to her.

                                            "Nummy?"

                                            >"Baaabebababe!"

                                            >You smile.

                                            >Across the table, Luna looks at the two of you with slight frown. "Should not the food be getting IN her instead of ON her?" she asks.

                                            >You shoot Luna a tired glare, this was not a new question.

                                            "What are you, the eating critic now?"

                                            >Luna scoffs and eats her morning dinner. "We simply wish to ensure that our niece receives the proper nutrition. Especially considering the circumstances of her birth."

                                            >You wince and continue feeding. Astra's conception had always been a bit...touchy.

                                            >It came as no surprise to literally anyone in the entire kingdom that you and Celestia had a lot of sex, and by law of averages, she would conceive a large number of children.

                                            >You remember a long while ago when you were both scared she was pregnant. You went to the doctor and he told you that Celestia's body, in absorbing so much solar radiation, would abort any fetus that formed inside of it before it could develop.

                                            >So imagine your surprise when one took and held.


                                            >You both saw the sonogram, the little tiny shape forming in her belly with the smallest beating heart you had ever seen. And for some reason, it was still going, despite the solar radiation.

                                            >Theories about why it could be abounded, but you both decided you didn't care. Neither of you had it in you to not let this fighter of a child have a chance at life.

                                            >You're sure that that aspect of her came from you.

                                            "Come on Asty, eat more so you can be big and strong." you say.

                                            >You press the spoon against her mouth but she doesn't budge her lips an inch, turning away from you and grunting.

                                            >"Mous dear, I think she's done."

                                            "She can't be done, she only ate half of it!"

                                            >You press again but the littlest Princess stubbornly refuses to allow you passage.

                                            >Celly chuckles behind you. "Yes, well I think half is enough for now. Now get your rear in gear, we have to meet this sitter."

                                            >Luna arches her eyebrow. "Sitter?"

                                            >You climb out of your chair and grab Astra as she squeals "Ap ap ap!" That was so cute, it was the closest she was getting to a real word.

                                            "Yeah. Either me or Celly has been staying back to watch Astra or we've been taking her with us pretty much every day since we brought her home. We need a break."

                                            >"Does she not sleep earlier than the two of you? Surely you can squeeze some time to yourselves in there." Luna says.

                                            >Celestia sighs and looks at her. "No sister, we need a BREAK."

                                            >That hangs in the air for a second before Luna gets it and you resist the urge to bury your face in your palm.

                                            >"O-oh. Well then. Have a er, nice...evening?"

                                            >You wordlessly cradle Astra and leave the room.


                                            >Celestia and you walk down one of the many hallways in the palace after making a stop at your rooms. Celestia floats a baby bag ahead of her as she rifles through it.

                                            >"Did you pack the diapers?"

                                            "Yes."

                                            >"What about her toys?"

                                            "Yes Celly."

                                            >"What about her flash cards?"

                                            "I think those are dumb, but yes."

                                            >"The milk?"

                                            >You shudder.

                                            "Yes, your freaky tit milk is in the goddamn bag at the bottom, where I can't accidentally see it."

                                            >"Oh stop, your head has been down there enough."

                                            "Yeah but milk is NOT what I want to come out, gross-ass."

                                            >Celly shakes her head. "You need to live a little, dear."

                                            >You're not going to ask about that.

                                            >There is probably a story there and if you ask, she'll only tell you.

                                            >You reach the room you told her to meet you in and step inside. Seated at a table inside was a unicorn with a vibrant orange coat and red mane with blonde streaks.

                                            >Celestia's face softens a tad, but you can see a hint of annoyance flash behind her eyes.

                                            >"Sunset Shimmer..." she says.

                                            >The mare stands and throws her hair back. "Princess Celestia."

                                            "Isn't she supposed to bow?"

                                            >Celestia floats the bag over to Sunset. "Inside you'll find all you need to watch her. Her toys, diapers, milk."

                                            >You shudder a bit.

                                            >"Are there flashcards in here?" Shimmer asks rooting through the bag.

                                            >You sigh.

                                            >Celestia nods. "There are, but it may be a bit early for her to be learning them."

                                            >Shimmer looks at Celestia through slitted eyes. "Of course you would think that..."

                                            "Is she allowed to say that?"

                                            >Celestia's face flickers the slightest. "Yes, well, you may use the room down the hall, Shimmer."

                                            >Goddammit, she's ignoring you again.


                                            >Celestia floats Astra out of your arms and in front of her face. "Mommy and daddy are going to let you play with her old student, sweetheart. Can you say bye bye?"

                                            >Astra tilts her head to the side and her bottom lip quivers ever so slightly.

                                            >"Oh baby no. Come here Mous, assure her."

                                            >You groan and walk over to your daughter, you scratch the bottom of her chin and nuzzle her face.

                                            "It's alright sweety. You'll see Mommy and Daddy after you play with this..." your vision drifts over to shimmer. "lady."

                                            >Shimmer scoffs at your nickname but Astra smiles a bit and nuzzles your nose.

                                            "Hehe..."

                                            >You kiss the top of her head and let Celestia do the same before Shimmer floats the foal over to herself and puts her in a harness.

                                            >"Alright little Princess. Sunset Shimmer is going to teach you aaaaaaallll about the world in ways that your parents couldn't."

                                            >She trots out of the room looking at the confused baby and heads down the hall, already starting a lecture on her views on magic.

                                            "...Why are we letting that egomaniac around our daughter?"

                                            >"Because she's got a fragile ego and I'm hoping to fit in one last lesson."

                                            "She's not your student anymore."

                                            >"We never stop learning."

                                            >You sigh.

                                            "And what would this lesson be?"


                                            >Celestia sticks her head out the door and looks down the hall. "That there are some who just don't care about what she can and can't do."

                                            >Celestia pulls back in and looks at you with a small frown. "This will be the longest we've been away from her..."

                                            "You're not going to drag me to go spying on her, are you?"

                                            >"Only if you promise not to barge in there and take Astra back before she's due."

                                            >You mull that over and look around.

                                            "I had only gotten to phase two of the plan..."

                                            >Celestia chuckles and kisses the top of your head. You grunt.

                                            >"Dear, promise me you'll never change."

                                            "Alright."

                                            >You reach your arm up and flick Celestia's horn.

                                            > *http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s79vBN3ShpY *

                                            >Celestia FREAKS OUT and starts vibrating in tune with her horn. >"AAABABBABABBABABABABABABAASTARD!"

                                            "Pffftaahahahahahaha! Oh that never gets old!"

                                            >You wipe a tear from your eye as you watch Celestia dance an uncomfortable jig and eventually settle.

                                            >"I am getting you back for that..." she says rubbing her horn.

                                            "Oh yeah? How?"

                                            >Celly shoots a look back at you with lidded eyes and a smirk.

                                            >And then you remember why you were letting Astra go today.

                                            "...Oh."

                                            >"Yup~"

                                            >She lifts you up off the ground and makes for the door.

                                            >NOPE.

                                            >You reach out and grab the door frame, stopping yourself.

                                            >Celestia sighs. "REALLY!? After -ALL- this time, still?"

                                            >Yes after all this time. She STILL could not be allowed to win.

                                            >You stay resolute.

                                            "Hey, you may have got rid of the small baby but now you got the big one!"