Flanking Maneuvers Bonus Story: Stay Together For the Kids


                                            =Flanking Maneuvers Bonus Story: Stay Together For the Kids=


                                            >You are Princess Celestia and you are on Tartarus.

                                            >Literally.

                                            >You, Luna, and Cadence have been trapped here for…Mother knows how long.

                                            >Tartarus was not like the material world, time flowed differently inside it. You could have been here anywhere between minutes and years.

                                            >Something that was not helped by the circumstances of your arrival.

                                            >You remember a time when you were little, when you and Luna had once ventured into the forests and become lost long into the night. When Mother had found you after what seemed like an eternity, you remember her mutter something while she held you close.

                                            >”My girls…” she had said. “Would that I could suffer the slings of a thousand arrows for time unending if only to never lose you again.” She had choked through tears.

                                            >…

                                            >…Good lord, you can scarcely believe that ponies –spoke- like that at one time. Now you know where Luna gets it from.

                                            >Your Mother’s flowery delivery aside, she didn’t mince her words.

                                            >Powerless, trapped in a place that saw no light from the sun, knowing that the last act you performed was to send your two most beloved away to a world where one of them would NOT have a good time, possibly never to see you again.

                                            >You knew you should yearn to bring the brightest dawn after such a dark night but…all you want to do now is rest your head on the hard rock floor and mope.

                                            >And eat ice cream too, but you were being realistic here.


                                            >However, when your head hits the ground, you take notice of something. The chain which bound you to the floor was gone.

                                            >Your sister and niece notice as well, rising to their hooves and galvanizing their spirits.

                                            >”Princess!” you hear behind you

                                            >You three turn your heads to see your prized student and newest member of the “royal family” as it were standing on the opposite end of a portal.

                                            >”Twilight!” Cadence exclaims.

                                            >”Get through! I got your chains off but I can’t hold this forever!” she grunts.

                                            >Your heart soars at the prospect of freedom. The three of your take to the air and fly through the portal, touching down and letting Twilight snap the portal shut behind her.

                                            >The moment your hooves find purchase, you reach out with your senses.

                                            >If they are retrieving you, then that means Tirek was defeated which would allow you to-

                                            >No.

                                            >No that can’t be.

                                            >You block out Twilight and Anon and their friends talking amongst themselves as you sweep the castle with your mind again and again.

                                            >It was right there. It can’t be gone, how can it-

                                            >”Princess Celestia?”

                                            >You open your eyes and look down your nose, Twilight returns a look of concern.

                                            >”Are you alright?” she asks.

                                            >It’s gone, how can i-

                                            “Something is wrong…” you mutter.


                                            -MEANWHILE, AT THE LEGION OF DOOM.-

                                            >You were Princess Celestia and you were in Tartarus.

                                            >Not literally of course, but it might honestly be preferable.

                                            >You sit in your castle looking out your grand windows and see your opposition.

                                            >Sombra, the annoying gnat, has been on a crusade since his fabled “secret weapon” had come into his possession.

                                            >And now he sieges your domain?

                                            >”He would fall like all the other times.” You told yourself.

                                            >Well, you –did-, until Luna burst into the throne room from the window.

                                            >”It is here!”

                                            “What!?”

                                            >”The weapon! It is here! It is cutting through our soldiers!” she cries.

                                            “Who would be so brash as to march –ahead- of their army to-“

                                            >Your words are punctuated by the sight and sound of your apprentice, Twilight Sparkle being tossed through your chamber doors.

                                            >”My liege, he-GAK!” she says as the…thing strikes her upside the jaw with its hammer. It is battered and its clothing torn from its march on your forces, but the moment you meet its gaze felt like looking upon a mountain.

                                            >The remainder of your little erroneous equines laying batter on the far side of the door, your little brat of a sister steps forward.

                                            >”You dare!? IN OUR REALM!?” she cries, her horn glowing obsidian black.

                                            >Like a good soldier, she fires her magic at the intruder and you allow yourself the moment to smile at a foe defeated.

                                            >Until the magic, which should have unmade the intruder where it stood, splinters against his upraised paw as he slowly and deliberately walks towards Luna.

                                            >WHY DID THE MAGIC NOT WORK?

                                            >Your sister reacts in mirrored shock and pours more magic into her attack. “WHY. WILL. YOU. NOT. FAL-AH!”

                                            >Luna bucks and jerks as the weapon grabs her horn and pulls her closer. Poor dear, under normal circumstances that could be rather nice…

                                            >That was not now however as it smashes its hammer against Luna’s mouth.

                                            ”Shut.”

                                            >WHACK.

                                            ”The.”

                                            >CRACK.

                                            “Fuck.”

                                            >CRUNCH.

                                            “Up.”

                                            >POW.


                                            >You’re forced to admire the brilliant savagery of it all as the being strikes Luna several more times, sending a bloody tooth flying back your way before tossing her aside and fixating on you.

                                            >You feel your legs stiffen.

                                            >Okay, magic would not work and getting close would be a…mistake.

                                            >Luckily, you had a plan.

                                            >For your spies had told you rumors of this weapon…

                                            “Hold!” you say as it advances. “I know where you travel from!”

                                            >It does not stop.

                                            “You come from that same mirror universe that that fool Sombra waxes about, I know of it!”

                                            >You raise your hand to stop it but it smacks it away with the simple weapon.

                                            >Hissing and holding your hoof, you bring it to your chest.

                                            “Fool! Our worlds are linked in ways you cannot imagine! I know that my counterpart is close to you…harm me and you risk her!”

                                            >”No.” it says, stepping forward and striking you in the chest. In rapid succession, you suffer blows to the knee, neck, and ribs, sending you toppling to the ground.

                                            >”That’s changed.”

                                            >Then…it was true! The tales of the fall of Lord Tirek’s counterpart and the sundering of the mirror!

                                            >The link between worlds, and thus your defense, was shattered.

                                            >It raises its hammer.

                                            “W-wait!”

                                            >It pauses.

                                            “…Surely you would not strike me, would thou? I know there is affection in your heart for who I am in your world…surely you do not wish to harm us, yes?”

                                            >You bat your eyelashes to really sell it.

                                            >The being is silent for a moment.

                                            >”I think you misunderstand a fundamental aspect of the relationship I have with the other you.”

                                            >WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT ME-GAK.

                                            >Steel hammer blows rain down upon you from your assailant, striking you near the head.

                                            >Just before you lose consciousness, you’re left to wonder what made this being so angry.


                                            -Mous PoV-

                                            Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-YF95QoY0I


                                            >Standing.

                                            >That was all there was to do now, Sombra’s soldiers were hauling the faux-princesses away.

                                            >And since you couldn’t leave until he arrived, standing was all you had.

                                            >On the edge of the wall, you look down at the procession of ponies walking out of the captured palace.

                                            >Their monarchs broken, the remainder of Not-Celestia and Not-Luna’s guard quickly disintegrated.

                                            >They had fought tooth and nail to keep you from here, but their courage melted quickly.

                                            >They had torn the dead land apart in their desperation from what you heard Sombra’s troops mutter.

                                            >Of the crater you can see, about two meters deep, they looked like they were trying to destroy their kingdom instead of letting you have it.

                                            >Not a horrible plan.

                                            >”Mous!”

                                            >You turn your head and look back as Sombra trots up in his armored regalia.

                                            “Good. Take me back to the castle.”

                                            >You turn and walk past him, leaving the grim scene as you look for his carriage.

                                            >”Wha-bu-what happened here?”

                                            “As a general, I don’t care.”

                                            >Sombra follows behind you, you can hear him.

                                            >”If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t have done this for me.”

                                            “I –didn’t- do it for you. Where’s your carriage?”


                                            >Sombra sighs behind you and walks ahead. “This way.”

                                            >He leads you down the battlements to his personal carriage and climbs on with you.

                                            >”The castle, soldier.”

                                            >The trooper looks back confused. “Sir? The battle-“

                                            >”Will still be hear in time, return us.”

                                            >”Aye aye…”

                                            >Your ride takes to the air and begins to travel south towards Sombra’s castle.

                                            >You –really- wish he would shut up during it.

                                            >”When we return, I’ll have to leave to oversee the capture.”

                                            “Don’t care.”

                                            >He frowns. “I trust you can watch the castle while I am away.”

                                            “You have people, I don’t care.”

                                            >Now he frowns.

                                            >”Yes yes, I your apathy is known to me. Sit back, we’ll have you home in minutes.”

                                            >That makes you grind your teeth.

                                            “That isn’t my home, I’m squatting in it.”

                                            >Sombra stays silent.

                                            “And shut up, I barely got two words out of the old you the first time I met him.”


                                            >The carriage sets down outside the palace doors and you’re off before it stops, bee lining up the stairs.

                                            >You’d engraved the directions into your mind. Up the stairs, two rights, one left, down the hall, past the fountain, up the stairs again, and through the door.

                                            >The room that you were “granted” during your stay here.

                                            >You throw the door open and walk in.

                                            “Chrysalis.”

                                            >Greeting you is the one thing you like about here, something that squeals.

                                            >”Dadaaa!”

                                            >Astra squirms and reaches her hooves out in Chrysalis’s grasp the moment she sees you.

                                            >You allow yourself a small smile as you walk up and pet her head.

                                            >Hell sweetie…

                                            “It’s done.” You tell Chrysalis. “Give her to me.”

                                            >The Queen’s face lights up. “Truly!? They are defeated?!”

                                            “Yes, now-“

                                            >You slowly pull Astra away from her hooves and bring her close, letting her bury herself in your chest as she shows her affection.

                                            “Give her to me.”

                                            >She bounces to her legs and around the room. “Oh fraptious day! You have ushered a halcyon age by defeating those ner-do-wells! The Kingdom can heal again! Where is the king?”

                                            >You bounce your girl in your arms.

                                            “He said he had to go back to the front or something, go quickly and you can still catch him.”

                                            >Chrysalis wastes no time in buzzing to the door. “Do not eat! When we return, there is surely to be a feast of celebration.”

                                            >Whatever…

                                            “Yes, get out of my room. Now.”

                                            >Normally she’d huff at you, but this time she just flutters out and lets the door shut behind her.

                                            >Which lets you fall backwards onto your bed.


                                            >Ow.

                                            >Ow.

                                            >Oh ow.

                                            >Ow.

                                            >Soreness was common on excursions, but you’d been “retired” from adventuring for years now.

                                            >And also those ponies wore goddamn horseshoes, the ones at home didn’t.

                                            >You feel your bones ache and your joints scream in protest while you rest on bruised skin.

                                            >And one roley poley little filly on your chest was not helping.

                                            “Astra, baby doll, daddy needs you not to do that please.”

                                            >You peek your eye open and look down at her. Astra has rolled onto her back on your chest and is looking up at you with big gold eyes.

                                            >She got that from you, you think. Gold was –sort- of brown.

                                            >”Dadee owie.”

                                            “Yes, daddy is very owie.”

                                            >”Why?”

                                            “Because daddy prefers the fast and direct approach.”

                                            >”Why?”

                                            “Because daddy is stupid.”

                                            >”Why?”

                                            >Goddammit.

                                            “Because daddy wanted his silly filly to be super safe.”

                                            >You tickle her soft underbelly and elicit a stream of giggles and a new wave of squirming.

                                            >”…Why?” she asks when she calms down.

                                            >You hate this stage of toddlerism.

                                            “Because you and daddy have been here for a few weeks and he doesn’t know how much longer it will be until we can go home with mommy, so everything has to be super-duper safe here for Astra.”

                                            >Astra blinks twice and then rolls over. “Oooooohhhhh…”

                                            >You half-groan/half-sigh.

                                            “Is Astra hungry?

                                            >Astra nods enthusiastically.

                                            “Does Astra want something yummy in her tummy?”

                                            >Against all odds, she nods –more- enthusiastically, this time with an open mouth.

                                            >You boop her nose.

                                            “Let daddy shut his eyes for a bit and then we’ll have lots of yummy food in a bit, okay?”

                                            >”’Kay!”

                                            >Astra clambers up to your right shoulder and curls up in the crux of your neck.

                                            “…Asty?”

                                            >”Astra dadee nap.”

                                            >You close your eyes and smile slightly, nodding your head as you let her snuggle in.

                                            “Good…girl…”

                                            >You enjoyed the fleeting happy moment you could eke out in this world while it lasted.


                                            -Celestia PoV-

                                            >How long had it been?

                                            >You didn’t remember, you were terrible at judging time ever since you turned eight hundred.

                                            >You also hadn’t been out of the room with your shattered mirror in it since you returned, that probably didn’t help.

                                            >The corpse of Tirek had been hauled out and you’d had everything that would fit through the door from the Arcanium brought down here.

                                            >You had to study, you had to figure something out.

                                            >You would not let it end like this.

                                            >If the mirror was destroyed, then the link between worlds was severed.

                                            >You’d have to find a solution.

                                            >Starswhirl and you had done it once, you could to it again.

                                            “Twilight, what have you found?”

                                            >Your most faithful student trots up next to you wearing her lab coat. She had barely had the time to rest after returning your magics. She had been the one to find Tirek here and free you from Tartarus.

                                            >”It’s…not going to make you happy, Princess.” She says meekly.

                                            “Tell me anyway.”

                                            >Twilight heaves a deep sigh. “I’m afraid…the link has been broken on both sides, Princess. We have no way of remaking the link and getting them home.”

                                            >You feel your left eye twitch and the room go silent.

                                            >…

                                            “No.”

                                            >”Princess?”

                                            >You step away from your workspace and glare at the mirror, horn glowing and pieces of the artifact rising off the ground.

                                            “No.”

                                            >Luna reacts harshly as the floor begins to shake a bit and the temperature rises.

                                            >”Sister! What art thou-“

                                            >This wasn’t how it ended.

                                            “No. No. No. No. No. “


                                            -Mous PoV-

                                            >The sun set after the feast you had barely attended which meant it was time for little fillies to go to sleep.

                                            >You spent as little time as you could with the…other people in this castle, preferring to hang on to Astra and plan how to get home.

                                            >But right now you just wanted her to sleep. You were singing her her new favorite bedtime sonnet to do just that.

                                            “Don’t worry little buddy, know this much is true…Tomorrow is a sunny day, and daddy’s here for you.”

                                            >The soft sound accompanying the air blowing out of Astra’s nostrils tells you that she’s off to dreamland and thus your responsibilities are done.

                                            >You groan as you stand up and stretch your aching muscles one last time before you fall into a coma in bed.

                                            >But fuck nice things. Someone knocks on the door.

                                            >You groan again, in irritation, and quietly open it. Your “friend” and host, the good King Sombra stood outside.

                                            “What.”

                                            >Flat answers was all he was getting tonight.

                                            >”I would speak with you.”

                                            “No.”

                                            >You shut the door.

                                            >Or would, but Sombra stops your stopping with his hoof.

                                            >”I –insist-.”

                                            >Now your temper is flaring. You open the door again and whisper as angrily as you can.

                                            “You’re about to find out if you can fly if you don’t let me get some goddamn sleep, Boy Scout.”

                                            >”And then you and your daughter can enjoy sleeping somewhere else.”

                                            >…FUCK.

                                            >You drag your hand down your face while Sombra walks off.

                                            >”Come, we may talk on the balcony.”


                                            >You walk behind Sombra, gritting your teeth the entire way. He leads you out of the hall and to a small balcony overlooking the courtyard and valley below in the light of the full moon as it hangs in the sky.

                                            “Alright, you have me, what the –hell- do you want?”

                                            >Sombra turns around at you and looks at you like a disapproving father. “That. That is why you are here.”

                                            “Speak clearly.”

                                            >Sombra turns and huffs. “You are rude, blunt, and in no way behaving in a manner that your station warrants!”

                                            “…My –what-?” you say disbelievingly.

                                            >”You are that girl’s father and you act in such a way? For shame!”

                                            >Nope, him saying that didn’t make it any easier to believe.

                                            “…WHAT!?”

                                            “You drag me out of my room at some unholy hour to tell me that I’m not behaving like you think I should around my kid? Well fuck you! You do better, shitheel!”

                                            >Sombra narrows his eyes. “I demand that you tell me why you are acting in this manner to my subjects.”

                                            >Was this that hard to figure out!?

                                            >You stomp over and bend down to Sombra’s face’s height.

                                            “Because I. Don’t. Like. You.”

                                            “I do not like –any- of you, all of you remind me of people from my home that gave me no end of problems. A home which I’ll remind you I did not –ask- to leave and you –invited- be to stay here while I was away from.”

                                            >You turn and walk away.

                                            >”Homesickness does not account for acting as you do!”

                                            “Being old as dirt doesn’t account for having a mullet with a blue skunk stripe! If you’re that obsessed with my Celestia that you color your hair like a douchebag, let me tell you that making a stalker shrine in your closet out of chewing gum is far better on your public image.”

                                            >Sombra seethes as well as his nature will allow. “That was uncalled for.”

                                            >You turn your head and scoff.

                                            “Wasn’t it?”


                                            >”Something you want to say, Mous?”

                                            “Nothing to you.”

                                            >Sombra snarls. “Have I wrong you in some way? Surely that could be the only explanation why you are so cold to me.”

                                            “Yes it would be, if you were ignorant, maybe.”

                                            >He shakes his head in frustration and rears back onto his hind legs, placing his hooves on your shoulders and pushing you into a well.

                                            >”What is your –problem-?

                                            >Celestia once signed you up for classes on how to conduct yourself during dignitaries for the purpose of keeping your trap shut.

                                            >In hindsight, going to those might have helped.

                                            >You grab Sombra’s stupid sideburns and pull.

                                            “My problem? MY PROBLEM? You want my problem, fine. My problem is that you are a threat!”

                                            >”…What!?”

                                            >Nope.

                                            >You knee Sombra in the stomach and kick him off with your foot. He lands in a heap a few feet back and you could easily walk away, but intelligence isn’t your best suit.

                                            “You –threaten- me Sombra. Your existence threatens my way of life.”

                                            >Sombra coughs. “I am –not- the monster from your world, Mous.”

                                            “Not like that.”

                                            >You roll Sombra over and pin him, staring daggers into his eyes. He struggles for a bit before he looks up at you and freezes.

                                            “You are a threat to –me-. To my way of life.”

                                            “I look at you and see everything that I am not. I see a charismatic and intelligent leader whose character is without question and is beloved by his people. And it PISSES ME OFF.”

                                            >Sombra squirms a bit but you drop your weight on him and slam him back.

                                            “It pisses me off because my wife, the mother of my child, has a reputation for a reason, and she was involved with “you” from our home.

                                            “You are temptation -the snake in my garden, the Bond in my evil lair, an incubus to haunt the dreams of the most important person in my life as I sleep next to her. That is why I hate you."

                                            >Sombra stares up at you. “You…you trust no one.”

                                            “I’m an antisocial misanthrope, of course I trust no one.”


                                            >That. Felt. REALLY good to say.

                                            >But in your insides, now that the fire had exited, you felt…colt.

                                            >A chill wind blows across the still figures of you and Sombra on the balcony as you let out a heaving sigh.

                                            “I just want to go home, Sombra…”

                                            >He tilts his head and looks up at you.

                                            “I want to go home…be with my family…and let this slide off my like a bad dream. I don’t want to feel this newfound constant soul crushing pressure of my daughter being able to grow up in a world her own that is safe and welcoming for her. I didn’t ask for that burden and my temporary acceptance of it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want to carry it.”

                                            >”Mous…there –is- no way back…you broke the mirror.”

                                            >Another pang in your chest.

                                            “I don’t accept that.”

                                            >”You must.”

                                            “I won’t.”

                                            >You glare down and Sombra.

                                            “I won’t accept that Astra is forced to grow up in a world away from everyone she loves…and I won’t accept that fate with her.”

                                            >”It is the reality of the situation…”

                                            “I reject it. There has to be some…some magic spell or mystic amulet or jackass in a cave somewhere that can get us home and I’ll find it if it takes me to The Breach and back.”

                                            >”That girl…” Sombra worms his hoof out from under you and puts it on your hand. “She needs her father in her life…not chasing something that does not exist, lest you do more harm than good.”

                                            >Those stick with you.


                                            >More harm than good…the defining idea of your life…

                                            >You could decide to give up on a way home…or decide to possibly harm the center of your world.

                                            >You decide…

                                            “I’m…too tired for this…”

                                            >You push off Sombra and get to your feet, turning and dragging yourself back to your room.

                                            “I’m sorry…if I hurt you, Sombra.”

                                            >You guess.

                                            >You leave a wordless Sombra on the balcony as you head back to your room and lock the door.

                                            >On the bed a little filly sits on her butt with the blankets wrapped around her head.

                                            “Asty…why are you up?”

                                            >”Hear boom.” She squeaks.

                                            >The scuffle.

                                            “I’m sorry daddy wasn’t here…were you scared?”

                                            >Astra’s eyes fall to the floor and she doesn’t say anything.

                                            >You sigh and walk over to her, scooping her up as you fall onto the slice of heaven you called a bed.

                                            >Astra snuggles into your chest as you pet her and put a pillow over your face.

                                            >”…Dadaa?”

                                            “Mmmm?”

                                            >”Wan’ mammy…”

                                            >…

                                            >You pet Astra again.

                                            “I know, sweety…”

                                            >Soon Astra is in bed, but your ability to sleep is marred by the weight in your mind.

                                            >But soon you join her just the same.


                                            Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9hagVL-__c

                                            -THE NEXT DAY-

                                            >You slept like crap.

                                            >It was raining, you’d broken a promise. Normally you’d ask someone to clear that up but…that wasn’t an option.

                                            >Sitting at Sombra’s table for breakfast had become too normal for you in recent weeks or so.

                                            >The permanent members of the castle, Sombra, you, Astra, and Chrysalis all sit trying to prepare for the day.

                                            >Chrysalis was next to you tapping Astra’s mouth with a spoon full of crushed squash on it. “Come now my dear, will you please open your mouth so you can enjoy some of this yummy food?”

                                            >Astra “HMPH!”’s and turns her head away as she uses her magic to tip over her milk.

                                            “She’s being fussy…she won’t eat like that.”

                                            >”Is there any way to make her accept it?” Sombra asks.

                                            “The only person who could…isn’t here.”

                                            >You reach over and pet Astra while you contemplate.

                                            >This is where you should be helping. You were her father, you should be caring for her. But…you also need to find a way home.

                                            >Celestia trusted you to do what was best for Astra but…

                                            >You don’t know what that is…

                                            >Are you helping her or hurting her? What was the best course of action for your daughter?

                                            >Is going home what Celestia wants? Or what you want? Are you helping your little girl? Or becoming her tormentor later?

                                            >You agonize over that for what seems like forever…

                                            “Sombra.” You say, finally speaking up

                                            >”Mmm?” he responds.

                                            “I would…talk to you later. To get Astra a crib for our room.”

                                            >You look up at Sombra with lidded, tired eyes.

                                            “She can’t sleep in my bed forever…”

                                            >Come on, don’t make you say it…

                                            >Sombra simply nods. “We can…do that Mous, yes. In time, I would hope that you call this castle home.”

                                            >You let out a deep and long sigh that carries as much of your burden as you can.

                                            “Yeah…ho-“

                                            >The rest of the sigh gets caught as you get bowled over by something exploding on the table.


                                            >You’re on your back, in your chair, rubbing your head.

                                            >Your ears were ringing, too.

                                            “Mop. MOOOOOP.”

                                            >The ringing begins to fade in time.

                                            >“-ia, how in the world-!?”

                                            >”My king, what is this!?”

                                            >”Mammy! Mammy! Mammy!”

                                            >Wait what.

                                            >You scramble up and pull yourself up by the table. Above the table, in the center of the room, swirled a glowing pink portal.

                                            >On the other side of the portal, being reached at ecstatically by Astra, stood a bent over and sweaty Celestia whose horn glowed like a star. Behind her Luna and Twilight and Anon and just about everyone looked forward in shock.

                                            >”Oh look at mommy’s little girl! Look how happy she is, yes she is!”

                                            >Seeing Celestia again…after thinking you never would…

                                            >It brought emotions in you up to the surface…joy, relief, longing…

                                            >…But mostly the desire to rip on her.

                                            “Hey!”

                                            >She looks at you, her neck vibrating.

                                            “I think we finally found someone who cooks worse than you!” You say, getting to your feet.

                                            >”Oh, dear? You’re hear? I wondered why it was so quiet around the castle.”

                                            “That’s probably you just going deaf in your old age. What’s all this?”

                                            >You point to the portal boarder.

                                            >”I-nggg-I used the shards of the mirror as a beacon and found their counterpart in the space between worlds, then I used my magic to bore a hole between them that would allow for safe passage.”

                                            >Ha...of course she did.

                                            >You and Celestia grin at each other for a bit.

                                            >”It’s…really heavy.” She says as sweat drips down her nose.

                                            “Oh. Right.”

                                            >Fuck.


                                            >You snatch Astra from her high-chair and hold her up Saigon style to the portal.

                                            >”LUNA!” Celestia calls and summons the Princess of the Night to grab her niece and carry her off.

                                            >That left just you and a straining Celestia on the other side.

                                            >This would normally be the part where you’d either say something poignant and miss the portal or elect to stay here and give Celestia a new lease on life…

                                            >But man…fuck that! Till death did you part meant until one of you died and it wasn’t going to be you.

                                            >But you should probably say something.

                                            >You look between a shocked Chrysalis and a mouth agape Sombra.

                                            “Uh…thanks dudes?”

                                            >That was lame but you didn’t care right now.

                                            >You hop through the portal like you were clearing a hurdle and land on the familiar palace floors on the other side.

                                            >Celestia stays for a moment, however, and looks at the good Sombra.

                                            >”My Blue Flame…thank you for caring for them for me…I knew we would see one another again…”

                                            >Sombra opens and closes his mouth, saying “Celest-“ before the portal snaps shut and you are sealed off from that place.


                                            >You push yourself to your feet and whirl around, you wanted to find Celestia an-You spot her over with Luna, legs wobbly but nuzzling Astra’s tummy and getting adorable baby kisses in return.

                                            >The stance of her legs, the tilt of her ears, the swish of her tail, and the occasional glance back she gives you make the message loud and clear.

                                            >”Later.”

                                            >You, however, get someone jumping you.

                                            >”Dude! I knew we’d find you!”

                                            >You push Anon off and playfully punch him in the shoulder.

                                            “Yeah, after I did all the hard work. How could you let a centaur come try and eat me?”

                                            >”Oh cram it, we had a plan.”

                                            >”A devilish plan if I say so myself.” Celestia says, pulling herself away from Astra and walking over. “Yet still a good deal less crude than “cut him in half.”

                                            >You shrug.

                                            “My methods get just the same results.”

                                            >Celestia rolls her eyes and trots past you. “Yes, well, shall we eat? I have the desire to feed my little girl as many chocolates as she can eat.”

                                            “Just because you have a fat ass doesn’t mean you have to make her have one…” you say following with the others.


                                            >After a day of relaxing, eating your own food, shitting in your own toilet, and several checkups by the castle doctors, you and Celestia walk back to your room with Luna in tow after having put Astra to sleep.

                                            >”Will you please simply tell us? We have never been to a parallel world!”

                                            >Oh fer-

                                            “It wasn’t that strange. Sombra was there, Celestia was there, you were there, and everyone was there.”

                                            >Luna blinks twice once you enter the door to your apartment. “Truly? We were there?”

                                            “I broke your teeth with a hammer.”

                                            >Luna looks at you in silence.

                                            “You were being a bitch.

                                            >”Uhg…gushingly glad to have you back, in-law.”

                                            “Nice to see you survived your vacation to Hell, Lunes.”

                                            >Celestia chuckles next to you. “Ah yes, our sabbatical was rather uneventful. And those dreadful conditions gave me such a cramp in my legs. Sister? I must ask you to leave us now so that my husband may rub the aches out.”

                                            >Luna slooooooowly arches her eyebrow.

                                            “That’s not code for anything, she’s really going to make me rub her feet.”

                                            >Luna slowly backs out of the door. “Alright then, uhm…in all honesty, I am please you are back, Mous.”

                                            “Goodnight, Moon.” You say with an earnest smile.

                                            >Luna returns the smile and closes the door behind her.

                                            >That’s when you let Celestia tackle you into the bed.


                                            >You wrap your arms around her neck the moment you’re on the cushions and release your millionth sigh lately.

                                            “Oh thank God you’re okay.”

                                            >”Thought I’d never see you again.”

                                            “You were in HELL.”

                                            >”I thought Tirek would do…I don’t even want to think about it.”

                                            “I missed you so much.”

                                            >”I missed you too…”

                                            “Your ex-boyfriend was an asshole.”

                                            >”My husband is an asshole, it’s my type.”

                                            >Niether of you say anything until you both start chuckling. Celestia releases a sigh into your chest. “Truly…thank the stars you are alright…”

                                            “Right back at you…I did miss you, you know.”

                                            >Celestia crawls her way up and rests her head on your shoulder. “I know, dear…’love you too.”

                                            “Hmph.”

                                            >You gently pet her mane.

                                            “You’re taking off tomorrow.”

                                            >”For a family day, agreed.”

                                            “And maybe the next day.”

                                            >”Luna can handle it.”

                                            “Never push me through a portal again.”

                                            >Celestia nuzzles and lightly kisses your neck. “Never leave me to worry alone again…”

                                            >You rest your head on top of hers and close your eyes.

                                            “I’d never dream of it, Celly…”

                                            >Celestia releases a contented sigh and says no more, letting you truly relish how few places like home there were.