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Am I Evil 10: D.I.Y.

By Mandroid
Created: 2020-12-19 13:56:40
Expiry: Never

  1. =Am I Evil 10=
  2.  
  3. >Damn. New Year’s may be over, but it was still bitch-ass cold outside. Winters were something else in The Crystal Kingdom.
  4. >You and Eris stood out back of the club you were playing, sharing a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the crisp night.
  5. >The little chaos sprite purses her lips and exhales, the ring of smoke she releases morphs into a triangle and spins around before dissipating.
  6. “You’re cheating.”
  7. >”I am not, I’m just amazing.”
  8. “Your mouth isn’t that amazing, Eri.”
  9. >”Pffft. You know it is, don’t lie to me Anon.”
  10. >You chuckle and take another drag from your cigarette.
  11. “So how about it, s’been a few weeks, seen Chryssy standing under your window with a boombox?”
  12. >”The last time we hung out just us was when she scored with the bouncer at that one club. You?”
  13. >You shrug.
  14. “She squeezed my ass at breakfast, but that was because I said I got told it was nice.”
  15. >”Well it is nice.”
  16. “You’re too kind.”
  17.  
  18. >You shiver and hike up your coat.
  19. “S’fucking freezing out here…”
  20. >”Aw, is baby cold?” Eris asks chidingly, blowing smoke in your face.
  21. “Fuckoff.” You say waving the smoke away.
  22. “The blankets at the hotel suck ass.”
  23. >”My blankets are purrrrfect.”
  24. “THAT is because you put the charm on the bellhop and got a nicer room, you little hussy.”
  25. >Eris laughs and flicks her cigarette away, you stomp yours out.
  26. >”You gonna cwy about it?”
  27. “I might. Just to watch you squirm.”
  28. >Eris puts her hands behind her head and leans back against the wall. “Come sleep in my bed then.”
  29. >You lean back with your hands in your pockets.
  30. “Are you inviting me to sleep with you?”
  31. >Eris rolls her eyes. “I mean it. I barely feel the cold but I’m pretty sure I still radiate heat.”
  32. “You don’t feel the cold?”
  33. >”You lose a lot of sensation when you’re a statue, Anon…”
  34. >…Downer.
  35. >You gyrate and boop her butt with your hips.
  36. “I’d love to share your bed. I promise to keep the groping to a tasteful minimum.”
  37. >”No titty tiwsters, please.”
  38. >At that moment, Huey leans out the door. “Anonymous? Eris? We’re on in five.”
  39. >Eris walks towards the roadie. “Ready to warm up, Anon?”
  40. “Let’s burn this place down, hot stuff.”
  41.  
  42. -Later-
  43. >The show was going well. The crowd was electric and a put was forming in front of the stage.
  44. >You wave to the fans up front and flick your pick at one.
  45. >Chrysalis grabs the microphone. “I’ve something to take care of, my lovelies. Be back in a mo’.”
  46. >Wait what.
  47. >You turn your head breakneck fast and catch Chrysalis near stage right.
  48. “What the fucking fuck?!” you whisper.
  49. >She was –bailing-!?
  50. >Chrysalis smiles her cat smile and glances to the drums. “Show must go on, Annie.”
  51. >And with that, she was gone. Sombra chuckles behind his set as you shrug to Night Terror.
  52. >This was fine. You were a semi-pro.
  53. >You grab your guitar and snap four times.
  54. >You bust out a sick lick that you and Artemis have practiced dozens of times. He catches on quick and plays in response to you.
  55. >The both of you go back and forth a bit before the rest of the band join in
  56. >Your fingers dance and drift along the neck of the guitar as you stand next to Terror and do musical battle with him.
  57. >Eris bobbed and drifted around the stage, lightly strumming along her bass while Sombra tossed and caught his drumsticks out of the air, his bass kicks stomping tiny crystals around his feet.
  58. >The supporting instruments die off as you and Terry drop to your knees and each bust out the hardest chords and solos you can each muster until you can’t feel your left fingers anymore.
  59. >The hall goes silent for a moment before applause reaches you on stage.
  60. >You smile and stand, looking to your left. Chrysalis wasn’t waiting right off the stage to come back.
  61. >The…?
  62. >It wasn’t unusual singers to take a quick break to get a drink or pee or something, but this was going on.
  63. >Sombra must have been looking too, because he stands up from his drums.
  64. >”Oh the hell with this!”
  65.  
  66. >You look back as Sombra gets off his seat and removes his tanktop, walking to the front of the stage.
  67. >Night Terror sees it too and goes to his microphone. “Hey! Hey! You turn right back around and go back where you belong, mister.”
  68. >Why was he talking like a fucking goobe-oh.
  69. >Sombra pushes past him and grabs Chrysalis’ mic. “Oh shut up you insufferable windbag.”
  70. >You look to Eris, she shrugs.
  71. >Not unexpected.
  72. >Sombra walks forward and tosses his shirt into the crowd before resting a massive booted foot.
  73. >”I tell you, it’s good to be back…who here knows who I am?”
  74. >Several cheers from the audience.
  75. >”King in the Stone? The Shadow Emperor? Host with the Most? Ringing any bells?”
  76. >More cheers.
  77. >”Yeah that’s what I thought…This is my home town, and we aren’t sitting around waiting for some Tirek-damn Changeling Queen to finish doing her nails for our entertainment, are we!? Is that what the Crystal Kingdom is about!?” he shouts.
  78. >The entire audience cheers and holds the Horns of Tirek up to Sombra.
  79. >”Damn right. But if she’s out, I’ll have to do her job for her. HUEY! FRONT AND CENTER!” he calls out behind him.
  80.  
  81. >The “yummy brown” as Eris liked to call him stagehand walked out from behind the curtain in his Neon Knights tee-shirt. “Sombra. You know I don’t like being on stage, what do you wa-AH!”
  82. >Sombra throws a pair of drumsticks at the guy from his back which he catches lightning fast.
  83. >”That’s our Three Armed Huey.” Sombra says.
  84. >”I actually heard it was three legged…” Eris chimes in.
  85. >”Then he better be dexterous. Huey! You’re my drummer!” Sombra says pointing at him.
  86. >Ahuizotl sighs and gets behind the set.
  87. >Sombra walks over to you after quickly conversing with Eris and Night Terror.”
  88. >”You remember that song I taught you at the hotel in Cloudsdale?”
  89. >You scratch through your mask and think back.
  90. “The one after we met those super-fit twins, right?”
  91. >Sombra nods. “On the four.”
  92. >”HIT IT!”
  93. >Ahuiztol counts off four hits and you grab your spare pick.
  94.  
  95. >You strike quick on your strings as Sombra unhooks the microphone from the stand, wrapping the cord around his arm.
  96. >Huey falls in quick and slams out on the tops for the opening crescendo.
  97. >As the rest of the band joins in, Sombra makes his hand glow and raises his foot, stomping down on the stage and making eight foot tall crystals erupt out from behind the drumset.
  98. >You bob your head and walk over to stand side by side with Terror. The song calls for higher accents which you both slam out and arc your guitars up in unison during.
  99. >Huey plays a complex drum bridge which you and Arty match on your guitars while Sombra starts singing.
  100. >The crowd loves the change of pace. Chrysalis was a fantastic showman who knew exactly how to sensually draw in the crowd with illusions, ever changing vocals, and sex appeal. Sombra however radiated raw power from every muscle in his body which he was now exploding out to the audience.
  101. >Sombra strikes a pose with one leg on the amp as he belts the lyrics to his song out, making glowing crystalline nubs pop out form the ground as he thrashes on his bare chest like a mad gorilla.
  102. >This was why you had female fans.
  103. >You and Terror go to your microphones as the chorus comes up.
  104. “RE!”
  105. “SPECT!”
  106. “ROCK!”
  107.  
  108. >Sombra goes through an identical verse, stomping more crystals out of the ground which charge the room with an electricity in the atmosphere. The audience feels that power and the pit in front of the stage swells, turning into a raging vortex of bodies and shirts swirling around a naked eye.
  109. >You tilt your guitar to mess with the pickups as you begin your solo, serenading the crowd and the crystals with the wining opening chords of a solo that quickly turns more and more technical.
  110. >Your fingers patter across the neck like raindrops in summer, your hand slides up and down like you’re cocking a gun, and then you step down on your wah peddle and crank your whammy bar as far as it will go.
  111. >Sombra throws his hair over his face and pinwheels his head to Night Terror’s rhythmic strumming.
  112. “RE!”
  113. “SPECT!”
  114. “ROCK!”
  115. >”ARE YOU TALKIN’ TO ME!?” Sombra shouts.
  116. >You and Night Terror shout out the chorus in unison with the entire audience over and over again. Sombra extends his arms and uses his magic to recede the thrumming crystals back into the ground, the floorboards sealing behind them.
  117. >He brings his mic to his mouth as the rest of the band bangs their heads and plays him out to Huey’s thunderous mimicry of Sombra on the drums. “Walk on home boy.”
  118. >Sombra turns and walks back towards the drumset as the lights darken to absolute blackness and the four of you stop playing.
  119. >The audience erupts in cheers as Sombra stands next to his drums. He raises the Horns of Tirek while Huey slides off and graciously bows over the stool, returning it to its rightful master.
  120. >You, Terror, and Eris all clap as Sombra takes his place back on the drums, slamming out hits to signal that the night should continue.
  121. >Amidst the jubilations, Chrysalis returns to the stage and grabs the mic. “Whoa whoa whoa, what’d I miss here?”
  122.  
  123. >After the show let out and autographs were signed, the five of you walk back to your hotel together in the wee hours of the morning.
  124. >”Who knew you had a set of pipes, Somby?” Eris said, riding atop Sombra’s shoulders and drumming on his skull with her thumbs.
  125. >”You’d know if you’d asked.” He answers.
  126. >”Honestly” Artemis says. “I’ve known you longer than anyone here and I’ve –never- heard you sing like that.”
  127. >”The right song can make us do straaange things, Artemis.”
  128. >Artemis puts his hands in his pockets and nods.
  129. >”Mmmmm I could hear you even from backstage~”Chrysalis coos.
  130. “Speaking of, Huey says the crew need more earplugs.”
  131. >Everyone looks at Artemis who rolls his eyes. “Add it to the list.”
  132. >Sombra stops in front of a door. “Alright, this is me, off woman.” He says, picking Eris up and setting her down.
  133.  
  134. >Chrysalis leans with her hand against the all as he lets Eris down. “So what’s the plan now big guy?”
  135. >”I relax.” He says.
  136. >Chrysalis taps her fingers on the wall. “Need a hand~?”
  137. >Sombra…yawns. “That’s my code for “I’m going the hell to sleep”. Ask me after our next show. Honestly, how you have the energy for that after singing is beyond me.”
  138. >Sombra goes into his room and shuts the door. “Later guys.”
  139. “Lates.” You say waving.
  140. >Arty cracks his back and walks down to his room. “I’ve got fucking earplugs to order it seems, goodnight.”
  141. >You and Eris snicker to one another.
  142. “You got turned the fuck down, Chryssy.”
  143. >”Careful Anon, she’ll use her feminine wiles on us!”
  144. “She knows she needs to liquor us up first for that!”
  145. >”I’m sure she’s got a bar in her room if she wanted.”
  146. >Chrysalis crosses her arms and pouts. “Just for that? I am taking a bath BY MYSELF. You get NOTHING. Good DAY!” With that she snaps in a Z formation and turns, strutting down the hall to her room.
  147. “What do you think that’s code for?”
  148. >”Drawing a bath and masturbating herself retarded, probably.”
  149. >The two of you shake your heads.
  150. “Degenerates.”
  151. >”Wanna come clear out my mini-bar and watch 3am porn, roomie?”
  152. “Yeah alright.”
  153. >You follow Eris to her room and start the second hardest thing of the night; finding what channels were which in this fucking city.

BiE 1: Introductions

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BiE 2: Train, pains, and narcissism.

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BiE 3: Exposition and espionage.

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BiE 3.5: More trains, soon to be back pains.

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BiE 4: Home Improvement.

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