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Familia 10: Teenage Dirtbag.

By Mandroid
Created: 2020-12-19 14:04:41
Expiry: Never
anoncelestialunaslice of lifesafe/aie/

  1. >”THOU ART SUCH A -PEST-!” you hear shouted from the hallway.
  2. “Oh boy, here we go…”
  3. >You set your dish down and storm into the hallway.
  4. “GIRLS, GIRLS, THE DEER KINGDOM CAN HEAR YOU! WHAT IS WITH ALL THE RACKET!?”
  5. >You find Celestia standing in Luna’s door, Luna sat at her desk, with a handwritten tome floating between them in both their magical grasps.
  6. >”SHE IS STEALING MY BOOK!”
  7. >”LUNA WON’T GIVE ME THE STUPID BOOK!”
  8. >”TIS NOT A STUPID BOOK, I WROTE THESE NOTES MYSELF!”
  9. >”AND I -NEED- IT YOU LITTLE BRAT!”
  10. “HEY! HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY!”
  11. >You step in and tear the book from the air, standing between the two girls so they both must look at you.
  12. “This isn’t how we solve problems in my house! Both of you settle down and explain this to me or neither of you get the book!”
  13. >”BUT DA-“ they both start, but you interrupt them with a stern “NOW!”
  14. >Both Celestia and Luna bite back whatever curse they were about to utter and take a moment to swallow their anger before glaring back at each other.
  15. >You can feel the daggers passing you between the sisters’ eyes.
  16. >”Sorry.” Celestia says.
  17. >Luna chews her apology for a minute before replying dryly with “Yeah.”
  18. >The daggers continue to fly between them before Celestia turns and walks away.
  19. “Tia-“
  20. >”I’m going to my room.” She says before a door slams.
  21. >Great. Just great.
  22. >Luna sighs behind you. “Wonderful…may I have my book now, father? And my privacy?”
  23. >You hand the book back to Luna and watch as she opens it.
  24. “Do you know why your sister is like that, Luna?”
  25. >The Night Pony narrows her eyes a bit. “Maybe she sat on a pinecone. My privacy?”
  26. >Right. No help here.
  27. >You leave and walk out of the room and feel the door get shut right on your butt the second you’re out.
  28. >”Oh, this family is finally getting good.”
  29. >You look down the hall where Discord is leaning against his doorframe munching popcorn. “Do you think one of them will run away? Can I have their room if they do!?”
  30.  
  31. >You sigh and rub the back of your head.
  32. “Go finish the dishes, Discord.”
  33. >”Hah! You MUST be joking!”
  34. >Discord turns in the hall and goes back to his room, shutting the door.
  35. >Gor rammit.
  36. >You cut your losses and turn the knob to Celestia’s room, heading in to find your daughter on her bed with her pillow over her face.
  37. “Tia.”
  38. >”What, father.” She responded.
  39. >She was being testy, she’d been testy for months now.
  40. “Are you going to tell me what in Tartarus is going on with you?”
  41. >”Nothing.”
  42. >You feel your eye fidget.
  43. “It doesn’t seem like nothing.”
  44. >Celestia doesn’t say anything but uncomfortably shifts on her bed, you hear her lightly groaning under the pillow.
  45. “Tia?”
  46. >Celestia throws the pillow off her head in your direction, but it bounces harmlessly off the wall.
  47. “Hey!”
  48. >She pushes herself up and stares at you. “Perhaps it IS nothing because, just perhaps, THIS is who your precious little girl is now, father!”
  49. >You just stare back at her.
  50. “Are you serious?” is all you can ask.
  51. >”UUUHGGG.”
  52. >Celestia grabs the pillow and drops it on her head again before screaming “GET OUT!”
  53. >You want to scold her but you also don’t want another fight, so instead you just throw your hands up and walk out. The door slams shut behind you.
  54. >Now you stand at the intersection of three doors shutting you off from each of your children.
  55. “Fantastic…”
  56.  
  57. >Neither Celestia or Luna came to dinner that night, each saying nothing when you asked them what was wrong.
  58. >You lean against the railing looking over your back yard and faithful play tree, now a mighty oak touching the sky, and sigh at the moon.
  59. “I guess I should be happy they let this happen…”
  60. >You hang your head and shake it, what were you going to do with those girls?
  61. >Maybe it was time to get in touch with their mother…
  62. >”Penny for your thoughts?”
  63. “Huh?”
  64. >You look up behind you where the resident draconequus lazing around on the roof of your house. “What little there are, anyway.” He says.
  65. “Discord, you might as well clean the gutters while you’re up there.”
  66. >He kicks his leg leisurely and tsks you. “Now now pops, you don’t want three angry children, do you?”
  67. >You sigh heavily and turn back to the moon, hoping to lose some of your sorrow in its pockmarked surface. You always felt so old looking at the moon, you remember it being much less blemished when you first arrived here.
  68. “Low blow…”
  69. >”…That’s a matter of perspective.” Discord says after a moment. You feel the air ripple behind you and he slithers up next to you. “Is there a REASON this is breaking you up so bad?”
  70. “In all the years that I’ve taken care of the girls before you came, this has never happened. They were always sweet little dumplings and this new attitude from both unnerves me.”
  71. >Discord scoffs. “Shows what you know…”
  72. “What?”
  73. >”What I mean is you may be dad, but you don’t understand what it’s like living with you.”
  74. >You furrow your brow.
  75. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
  76. >Discord coils up into the air and floats. “It means what it sounds like! You don’t know what it’s like living with you, being us. Whatever is going on with Celestia, she’s OBVIOUSLY keeping it locked away inside her and away from you for a reason.”
  77. “Very helpful…” you grumble.
  78. >”And WHATEVER it is, she’s been talking in her sleep so much that it’s keeping me awake. My beauty sleep schedule has been DECIMATED.”
  79. >Talking in her sleep?
  80. “Hey now…”
  81.  
  82. >Minutes later, you stand over Celestia as she sleeps, trying to be as quiet as possible while she tosses and turns.
  83. “Luna, are you ready?” you whisper.
  84. >”This is absurd!” She yells while still whispering.
  85. “It is not absurd! Your sister is clearly troubled by something and she needs our help! You’re the only one who can dreamwalk so she needs YOU.”
  86. >”She STOLE my BOOK!”
  87. “I will help you MAKE another BOOK! She is your SISTER!”
  88. >Luna screams in silent frustration and makes her horn glow “Fine but I am not forgiving her so easily! SHE will be making the new book!”
  89. >Luna unleashes the magic in her spell and the shadows on the wall close in on you until all you see is blackness.
  90.  
  91. >The blackness recedes from a vision of the front door of your house and suddenly you’re alone. That was fine, Luna just needed to maintain the connection, not be here, she had been practicing enough to do that.
  92. >You watch as the door to the house opens and a single bag is tossed out by a familiar voice; your own.
  93. >”Alright kids! You’ve ambled around here long enough, time to go off and make something of yourselves!”
  94. >A loud WHOMP comes from the house and Celetia, Luna, and Discord fly in an arc from the door to right next to the bag.
  95. >”WHAT!? Celestia cries as she hits the black dirt.”
  96. >”Good luck! I’m rooting for you!” Your doppleganger says as he shuts the door.
  97. >Luna and Discord rise to their feet and brush themselves off while Celestia looks at the door in shock. Discord is the first to speak. “Well, guess that’s that. I heard about an island called Eden a ways up North? Think I’ll check that out…” He begins to float up to the blackness and gives a halfhearted wave “Don’t wait up, sis.”
  98. >Luna looks to the sky as he goes and floats up herself “The stars…they’re calling to me, sister. I need to answer them…”
  99. >Celestia’s head whips back and forth watching them go and she bites back tears. “N-no! Wait you two! You can’t go! We have to stick together now!”
  100. >Her pleas fall on silence as Discord and Luna vanish away. Celestia doesn’t waste any time galloping to the door and banging on it with her hooves.
  101. >”Daddy! DADDY! PLEASE LET ME BACK IN!”
  102. >You wanted to watch from the shadows as tears streamed down her face, but your legs wouldn’t stay still.
  103. >”PLEASE DADDY I’M NOT READY YET! I’M NOT READY TO LEAVE YET! I’M NOT READY TO BE ALONE!”
  104. >You step from the shadows but let yourself pause just from the edge. Celestia slides down the front of the door and hangs her head, crying openly and hitting her hooves against the hard wood.
  105. >”I’ll do anything you ask…I’ll help you around the house, I’ll never raise my voice...please don’t make me go…”
  106. “Sweetheart, is that what you think will happen?”
  107.  
  108. >Celestia turns her head in the dreamscape and finally spots you. Her eyes were red with strain and tears flowed freely down her gentle face. “D-daddy?”
  109. >You choke back what you saw.
  110. “You-- do you think this is what would happen?”
  111. >Celestia gets back to her hooves but holds herself back, looking away from you. “Birds need to leave their nest eventually, Daddy. It’s a law of nature.”
  112. >The distance between you both vanishes under your strides.
  113. “Is that why you’re acting this way, Celestia? You’re pushing us all away.”
  114. >Celestia jumps slightly and refuses to meet your eyes again. “If I’m going to leave…I-I want it to be on my terms. It’ll s-save trouble later. You will not miss me if you detest me before I go.”
  115. “Celestia…”
  116. >You get down to your knees and wipe away the tears on the side of her face.
  117. “…you big dummy.”
  118. >”Huh…?” Celestia turns around to face you, shocked. You give her a smile.
  119. >You run your hand through her mane slowly.
  120. “Honey, birds only leave their nest when they’re ready. I would never send you all away before then…”
  121. >Celestia sniffs. “Then why are you teaching us so much? We learn so much every day and you make us go watch the new pony tribes or do so many things we never used to do! Why else but our eventual exit would you be doing that?!”
  122. >Silence fills the dreamscape for a moment, but you still pet her head.
  123. “…It is for when you leave, Celestia, I’ll give you that. But that isn’t ALL there is to it.”
  124. “The day you three leave- I promise that it will only be after the day when you’re all ready to go. It would be the worst thing I could ever do to you if I forced you out early.”
  125. >Celestia rests her head in your hands. “You wouldn’t ever hurt us…”
  126. “Not ever on purpose, Celly…”
  127. >Celestia sniffles and shudders “I was so mean to all of you…”
  128. >You pet her head some more.
  129. “We’ll deal with that when we wake up.”
  130. >”Did someone say “wake up”?” you hear Luna say.
  131. “Wha-“
  132.  
  133. “YAH!”
  134. >”GAAAH!”
  135. >You and Celestia jump a foot as Loon pulls you from the dreamways, making the little blue alicorn titter.
  136. >”Aha! You should both see your faces!”
  137. >Both of your faces were your annoyed faces.
  138. “Very funny, Luna. You could put Discord’s standup act to shame.”
  139. >”I heard that!” you hear through the wall.
  140. >Uhg.
  141. >You turn back to Celestia and rub her back while she collects herself.
  142. “Are you okay?”
  143. >”Yes…” Celestia says. “Yes, I believe I’m…better, thank you for coming to find me, daddy…”
  144. >”Does this mean you’re done being a huge beeeeeeeeeeee…” Luna begins, but trails off when you shoot her a stern glare. “…eeeeeeeeeeehind pain? A huge pain in the behind is what I meant to say.”
  145. “Of course.”
  146. >”I…am, yes, sister. I’m sorry for what I did to you I was—I was being dumb.”
  147. >Luna chews the inside of her cheek and takes a few steps forward, lightly smacking one of her hoofs against Celestia’s shoulder. “Indeed, thou were. We are happy to see that such behavior has passed.”
  148. >You take a deep breath and lean against the bed.
  149. “It’s not hugging and making up, girls, but right now I’ll take it.”
  150. >All is at peace in the house for one shining moment.
  151.  
  152. >”I’ll need to get in touch with Aspen when the sun is up…” Celestia says.
  153. “Mm? The Deer Prince? Why’s that?”
  154. >Celestia sheepishly rubs her hooves together and averts her gaze, why was her face getting red? “I-In my haste to make you both weary of me, I may have…requested he and I spend some time together…alone.”
  155. “…Oh. I see.”
  156. >You push yourself up and walk out of the room.
  157. >”Daddy?”
  158. >”Where are you going, father?”
  159. “Gonna go get my whacking spoon, girls.”
  160. >The two alicorn youths look at each other. “But you do not have a “whacking stick”.” Luna says.
  161. “I do now.”
  162. >You hear Celestia climb out of her bed and chase after you. “No! You don’t have to- daddy! DADDY!”

BiE 1: Introductions

by Mandroid

BiE 2: Train, pains, and narcissism.

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BiE 3: Exposition and espionage.

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BiE 3.5: More trains, soon to be back pains.

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BiE 4: Home Improvement.

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