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>[2 Days ago]
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>*Master of the House, dolling out the charm. Ready with a handshake and an open pal-*
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>You shut off your phone with a groan and heave yourself out of bed.
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>The floor greets you as Mistress Gravity has still not relented her cruel embrace.
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>Hoisting yourself off the ground, you stagger to the bathroom.
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>Crap, clean, and cut (your facial hair anyway).
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>You stare at the handsome devil in the mirror and flex.
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"Now those are some pecs you have ther- oh I can't do this."
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>Maybe they weren't pecs, but at least you had managed to stay in shape enough to avoid obtaining moobs…
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>Your friends on Earth said you were a 6.
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>But it was a solid 6 apparently!
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*Sigh*
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>You get dressed and head downstairs.
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>Breakfast consists of a bowl of oats (with sugar) in goat's milk.
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>You prefer cow milk, but you always had to get it yourself… from the cows… who talked to you while you milked them…
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>It's like talking in a public bathroom; there's no written rule against it but you damn well know it shouldn't happen.
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>At least goats only bleat at you.
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>After finishing your mush you look at your phone.
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>7:42 AM
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>Time t- wait…
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>You pupils narrow as you look at the phone again.
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>10% Battery left.
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>Code Red! Code RED! This machine was your only electronic appliance here. Without it, life would be meaningless!
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>You begin to stammer in panic.
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"Tw- TWILIGHT!!!!!"
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>Flinging your empty bowl to the side, you dash to the door and tear it open.
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>A few strides out the door you trip over something and slam into the dirt.
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>Why can't Gravity understand you just need space?
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>"Oh my, are you alright Anon?"
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>That voice.
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>Like a chalkboard being scratched with a slightly smaller chalkboard, it tore at your very being. Your core, the very thing that is you, shudders in fear, disgust, pity, and anguish upon hearing the voice that can only come from one of the personal masturbation hotlines of Beelzebub himself.
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"I'm fine Fluttershy."
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>You smile to her as you dust yourself off.
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>She's wearing a black business suit and glasses. A teal tie brings out the color in her eyes while a bad toupee matts down her mane.
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"What are-"
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>"Is Bill Gaits your fetish, Anon?"
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>How? HOW is that a thing? Both to the fetish and the terrible pun the universe saw fit to excrete in front of you.
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*Sigh* "No Fluttershy, that…"
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>You motion to her terrible getup.
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"Is not my fetish."
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>Turning to leave, you give one last glance over your shoulder.
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"The tie works though, it brings out your eyes."
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*pomf*
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>Her wings pop out as she tries to speak.
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>"O- ooh, d-does it work enough to make you want to *mumble mumble*"
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>You couldn't hear it, but you know what she said.
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>A quick glance at your phone reminds you of your mission.
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>9, no, 8%?!
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>I need more power Mr. Scott!
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>Captain, I'm given' her all I've got!
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>Sprinting towards town you can only scream.
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"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
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>You are now Twilight Sparkle.
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>These notes about human legends don't make any sense… Anon said that Daggerfall managed to achieve victory in the Third Era, but he also said that so did Wayrest, Orsinium, and several other kingdoms. Surely they couldn't all have been successful… Could they?
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>A deafening *BOOM* resounds through the library as Anon surges through the front door. His eyes snap to you and you can see the desperation in them. Your friend is clearly in peril. You've seen him fight Timberwolves though, what could possibly scare him this much?
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>"Phone."
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"What?"
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>"PHONE!"
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>He pulls out his phone and waves it in your face.
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"Ugh."
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>A little *Blip* is heard as you channel your magic into the device.
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>You give the phone back to Anon along with a look of contempt.
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>You are Anon the Dexterous once more.
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>Well done Mr. Scott.
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>Think nothing of it, Captain.
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>You look up at your purple savior, tears welling up in your eyes.
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"Oh Twilight! Thank you!"
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>You can almost hear her spine snap as you pull the unicorn into a bear hug.
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>Twilight struggles to breathe as you grapple with her.
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>"It's ok, Anon, it's ok."
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>It wasn't ok! She single handedl- hoofedly saved your phone. Again! Oh, the first time your phone died you thought that was it, no more music or entertainment. (Any port in a storm, it's hard not having the internet…)
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>All it took was agreeing to-
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"Fuck."
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>You stop your joyous hugging and drop Twilight onto the floor.
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>"I'm guessing you've remembered our arrangement, then?"
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Just tell me what I'm in for.
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>Twilight smiled as she walked up the stairs and into her room. You hear various *clinks* and *thuds* as she rummages through various objects.
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>"Aha!"
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>She returns holding a large tome afloat, beaming with excitement.
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>"I found this during my trip to Canterlot the other day. It's a book of spells written over a thousand years ago! Isn't that exciting?!
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>It was like her smile was trying to escape from her head…
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>And bite off a piece of your heart. She was just adorably nerdy.
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"As long as I don't turn into a newt or whatever again."
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>Twilight deadpanned.
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>"You got better."
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>In exchange for her charging your phone, you agreed the let Twilight cast… unknown spells on you. These would be spells with effects never recorded or long forgotten.
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>Sometimes they turned your hair into cheese, other times they summoned Cerberus. It was about 30/70 deadly to only semi-annoying odds.
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*Sigh* "Fine, fine."
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>You take your position in the center of the library as Twilight readies her spell.
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>A soft purple light begins to flow through the room as she concentrates.
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>Twilight begins to strain, the spell taking its toll on her.
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>A few moments later, nothing has happened and you are noticing Twilight's rapidly degrading state.
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"Twilight, maybe we should stop thi-"
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>"No! I can do this Anon!"
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>Her voice cracks. You can see her eyes half-closed from exhaustion. She's barely conscious.
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>This spell feels too dangerous.
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"Twilight, you need to sto-"
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>A wall of purple magic plows into your chest, right over your heart.
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>You're blasted into the wall, your head slams against the hard wood and you almost pass out as you crumple to the ground.
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>Twilight screams something at you but you can't make it out.
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>The world seems so quiet now… You can't even hear your heartbeat. Darkness encroaches you.
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>At least death isn't painful.
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>...
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*Thump-thump*
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>Hmm?
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*Thump-thump*
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>Oh, guess the old girl hasn't given up yet.
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*Thump-thump*
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>You open your eyes and see a despaired Twilight cradling you. A tear falls from her eyes and hits your face.
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>"I'm so sorry Anon. I- I didn't mean-"
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*Cough* *Cough* It's better than a newt at least.
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>You let out a chuckle as Twilight realizes you're alive. She pulls you in for a tight hug.
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>And then she kisses you.
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>…
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>Then she blushes.
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>…
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>You almost died, this is okay with you.
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>A breeze blows through the room and brushes across your bare chest. The blast destroyed most of your shirt.
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"Guess you owe me a new shirt."
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>Twilight smiles and nods, still somewhat shaken from the ordeal.
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>You're about to get up when a twinge of pain grips your heart.
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>You grunt, eliciting a look of concern from Twilight.
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>The grunt turns into a full-blown scream as you clutch your chest.
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>It feels like someone is holding your heart over a fire and squeezing.
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>Thrashing about on the floor, Twilight can only give a look of horror as the skin on your chest begins to distort.
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>You curl into a ball as the pain takes you. You wish you had died, this was unbearable.
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>Moments later, the pain is gone. Saliva drips from your mouth as you lay on the floor, mind piecing itself back together.
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>A soft hoof on your shoulder brings you to your senses. You unfurl yourself and lay on your back.
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>Twilight gasps when she sees your chest.
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>You look down. There's a marking on the left side of your chest, but you can't get a good look.
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"Twilight, do you have a mirror?"
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>"Y-yeah, just a second."
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>She runs upstairs and you can hear her throwing objects around in her search.
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>While she searches, you feel your chest. The marking is actually engraved into your skin. No blood, but it is a noticeable difference.
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>Twilight returns with a small mirror. She approaches your side and holds it up. You focus on the mirror and finally see the marking.
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>It's Twilight's cutie mark.
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>You pull yourself off the floor and stand. You feel oddly good for someone who just went through… that.
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>"Anon, are you okay?"
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>You rub your chest, but there is no pain.
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"I- I think so."
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>You actually feel pretty good, stronger than before even.
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>Twilight examines you, trotting around and looking at you from all angles.
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>"Just in case, I think you should go to a doctor."
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"Twilight, I'm telling you I feel-"
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>"Go to the doctor's, Anon."
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*Thump-thump*
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"Fine, fine, fine. I'll go. Can I at least get a new shirt first?"
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>You tear off a remnant of your shirt, and it flutters to the ground.
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>Twilight covers her mouth and giggles.
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>"Alright. I'll go with you, to make sure you go to the hospital though."
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>You smile.
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>The two of you leave and head to your house to pick up a new shirt then go to the hospital.
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>As the two of you walk out of sight, Spike returns from helping Rarity with some "errands" and notices the devastation.
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>"…"
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>"N~ope."
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>He turns right around.
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>"Maybe Sweetie Belle needs some help?"
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by Sodapop
by Sodapop
by Sodapop
by Sodapop
by Sodapop