Malus Equestria - Chapter 1 (And only one) AKAME AUG 27TH, 2013


                                            >"Come on. Move!"

                                            >Twilight Sparkle stares angrily at the wriggling mass of flesh trapped inside a glass dome on her desk.

                                            >The recently ascended princess flips through her notes before sighing in frustration.

                                            >"Chaos Worms are supposed to… cause chaos!"

                                            >*Poke* *Poke*

                                            >She prods the bunch of invertebrates in an attempt to cause a reaction.

                                            >…

                                            >Nothing.

                                            >*Yawn*

                                            >"I guess I'll just have to finish this experiement tomorrow."

                                            >The purple p0ny huffs out of her workroom, leaving her little experiment to pulsate alone in the dark.

                                            "Ha ha ha ha ha…"

                                            >Your form silently shifts back into it's usual discordant physique, and you gleefully toss the lampshade from your disguise off frame.

                                            >As you wring your hands menacingly, the Chaos Worms take note of their master and begin to spell out a phrase.

                                            >HEY_BOSS

                                            "Not very poetic. I'm frozen in stone for… how many years?"

                                            >*Slither*

                                            >1,037

                                            "Right, 1,037 years- and that's all you have to say?"

                                            >MEH

                                            "Ooh, I have missed my sarcastic slimeballs so much!"

                                            >You pat the mound before bringing your face close to eye your minions.

                                            "Hmm… One of these things is not like the other, one of these things is…

                                            >A quick tap on a Chaos Worm and a bright flash later, a single worm is-

                                            "GONE! Ah ha ha ha! This should take that pretentious princess down a peg… asus wing… *snort* or two!"

                                            >The Chaos Worms crawl into position as you guffaw to yourself.

                                            >1,037_YEARS_IS_A_LONG_TIME

                                            >*Slide*

                                            >YOUR_SENSE_OF_HUMOR

                                            >*Slide*

                                            >IS_OUTDATED_A_BIT

                                            >…

                                            >You really should teleport them into the sun for that.

                                            >They're just lucky that you are more interested in causing some chaos, and a missing mound of mucus-eaters may cause more mayhem with Sparkle than you can manage.

                                            >That, and Celestia didn't exactly enjoy the last time you teleported a throbbing piece of meat inside her.

                                            >With your task completed, you give a final laugh before warping back to Canterlot.

                                            >This should be fun.


                                            >*Chirp* *Chirp*

                                            >The morning sun casts its rays over the hillside at Sweet Apple Acres prompting the birds to begin their early song.

                                            >For you, however, work started thirty minutes ago.

                                            >"All right, Anon. We only got three acres ta harvest today, so enjoy the slow day!"

                                            >You chuckle quietly to yourself.

                                            >A 'slow day' huh?

                                            >An orange mare taps her hoof impatiently beneath you as you collect some straggler apples hanging high in a tree.

                                            >She starts walking once you jump down and dump your small collection of fruit into the wagon behind her.

                                            >It's hard work here on the farm, but hey, what can you say?

                                            >You love apples.

                                            >It's one of the few Equestrian foods that you can regularly enjoy with others, and the work manages to keep you in shape.

                                            >Really it's a win-win.

                                            >*Crack*

                                            >Applejack bucks another tree, causing it's products to fall into the wagon.

                                            >"Anon."

                                            >You nod to the earthp0ny and swiftly climb the tree, once again picking the few remaining apples hidden amongst the leaves.

                                            >It's nice working with AJ, she has an almost perfect buck, occasionaly missing only 3 - 5 apples per tree per kick.

                                            >Big Mac has a better record, but is not as much fun to work with.

                                            >Still, he's much better than Applebloom.

                                            >The one time you worked with her, she got almost no apples on any buck.

                                            >You snuck around the backs of the trees and hit them the same time she did to get her a better yield.

                                            >She was just so excited that she was bouncing off the walls at the end of the day.

                                            >Sure, you might have collapsed when you got home that night, but seeing that little filly smile so big…

                                            >Well, sentimentality isn't something you like to devote time to.

                                            >…

                                            >It was worth it though.

                                            >You return to the world of the working and jump back to the ground.

                                            "All clean, you got 'em all that time."

                                            >Applejack adjusts her stetson and grins.

                                            >"Ah told ya' Ah'm gettin' better. Might not need ya' pretty soon…"

                                            >She winks at you, letting you know that she's joking before she pulls the cart to another tree.

                                            *Crack*

                                            >Up you go.

                                            >For the first few branches, everything seems fine.

                                            >Then you see it.

                                            >A great, big, juicy red apple, right near the top of the tree.

                                            >You climb up next to it and pluck it with a satisfying snap.

                                            >It's almost too beautiful for words.

                                            >The skin texture is smooth without being glossy and the-

                                            >*pop*

                                            >A worm burrows out of the apple and wiggles, almost as if waving at you.

                                            >So much for beautiful.

                                            >You bleakly toss the apple over your shoulder, taking care to not have it fall into the wagon.

                                            >One bad apple and such…

                                            >"Oh, Anon! Giving me gifts already? You do move fast."

                                            >The whole world seems to go quiet as you slowly turn to face your unsolicited guest.

                                            >Fluttershy is licking the apple.

                                            >Licking might not be a strong enough verb actually, slobbering seems more appropriate.

                                            >Sensing that things are about to get wierd-

                                            >"Mmmmm *Slurp* Mmmmmmmm"

                                            >…

                                            > -er, you climb down the tree.

                                            >"What took ya' so long, Anon?"

                                            "Sorry Applejack. Looks like you got everything in this tree too, on to the next one?"

                                            >The farmp0ny raises an eyebrow before nodding.

                                            >"Well alright then."

                                            >The rest of the day goes by without incident.

                                            >Fluttershy must have thought fruit licking or something equally stupid was your fetish.

                                            >God, every day with that fetish crap!

                                            >When Applejack had first described her to you, she made Fluttershy sound like some kind of p0ny Jane Goodall.

                                            >But in reality, she's just a animal enthusiast with a creepy obsession for you.

                                            >You might have taken it as misguided affection, but ever since the swimsuit incident she's been getting worse.

                                            >She's woken you up at 3:00 AM before to "serenade" you.

                                            >Others would say she tried to blow you while singing, again, at 3:00 AM.

                                            >And the Twinkie incident-

                                            *Gag*

                                            >"You ok there, sugarcube?"

                                            >Applejack places a hoof on your back and hands you a cold mug of cider.

                                            "Heh heh, yeah."

                                            >You take a swig of the sweet beverage.

                                            *Glup*

                                            "Ah~ Just, remembered something bad. How are we looking?"

                                            >The orange farmp0ny frowns and downs a few gulps of cider from her own mug.

                                            >"Well, the summer harvest is almost over, but we still have a fourth of the total crop ta' do."

                                            >She sighs, frustrated, before sitting next to you on the Apple family porch.

                                            >The glow of the setting sun transforms the orchards into beautiful shades of red and orange.

                                            >You close your eyes and breath in the delectable scent of blossoming apples.

                                            >Now would probably be a good time.

                                            "Hey Applejack, I-"

                                            >"Anon! Hey, Anon!"

                                            >Applebloom runs around the corner of the house, dressed in a garish mask and cape.

                                            >Behind her are her cohorts and fellow fillies, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.

                                            >Both are, of course, wearing their own masks of equal, and somehow in Sweetie Belle's case; more, garishness.

                                            >You know something bad is about to happen, but just look at those faces!

                                            >How could you run and hide from those?

                                            "Yes? What is it?"

                                            >The trio arrive at the porch side and begin speaking at Mach 5.

                                            >"We know how we can get our cutie marks!"

                                            >"Yeah! All we need to do-"

                                            >The orange pegasus moves to the left.

                                            >"-is become…"

                                            >Sweetie moves to the right.

                                            >Each strikes a dramatic pose that would embarrass Captain Ginyu himself before screaming in unison.

                                            >"Cutie Mark Crusader Luchadores!"

                                            >…

                                            >Thi-

                                            >You-

                                            >Wha-

                                            >…

                                            >Applejack's and yours stares of confusion must have been some kind of silent GO! switch, because the young p0nies spring into action.

                                            >"Get him!"

                                            >All three of the Cutie Mark Crusader Luchadores tackle you.

                                            >"I, La Campana, will take his leg!"

                                            >Sweetie Belle hugs your leg in an adorable attempt to suplex you.

                                            >"I, Aventador de el Arco Iris, will take his stomach!"

                                            >Scootaloo grapples with your abdomen.

                                            >"And I, La Manzana" will take his head!"

                                            >Applebloom tugs at your neck.

                                            >Their antics cause you to burst out in laughter.

                                            >"Girls, get off've Anon! He and Ah were talkin'!"

                                            >The trio groan and release their 'strangle hold' on you.

                                            >"We were just tryin' ta' get our cutie marks… Now we'll never know if this was how we'd do it..."

                                            >Defeated, they hang their heads and sulk.

                                            >Uh oh, sadness…

                                            >Not something children should have to deal with.

                                            "Bwa! HA! HA! You niñas thought you could defeat-"

                                            >You quickly take of your shirt and take out your pocket knife.

                                            >A few cuts here, a few tears there, and you've done the mask of-

                                            "El Mono Mano!"

                                            >You wink at Applejack and she shakes her head while chuckling.

                                            >The CMCL's faces light up as you rush towards them, flexing theatrically all the way.

                                            >Guess it wasn't the right time after all, but that doesn't matter…

                                            >All three luchadores grab your right shin and attempt to lift you.

                                            >Playing along, you and throw yourself over them, landing in a puddle of mud near the water pump.

                                            >You can always show Applejack later.

                                            >Laughter rolls over the hillsides as the smiling faces of three little fillies outshines even the brilliance of the evening sky.


                                            >[Later that night]

                                            >"G'night Granny."

                                            >You shut Granny Smith's door and trot over to Applebloom's room to check on her.

                                            >She's sound asleep.

                                            >Playing with Anon really tired her out.

                                            >A grin spreads across your face as you return to your room for the night.

                                            >He's really great.

                                            >How he manages to have so much energy at the end of the day, you'll never know.

                                            >Crawling into bed, you picture him in his silly outfit.

                                            >White mask stained with mud and sweat.

                                            >His strong build glistening in the sunlight…

                                            "Woah there girl, back up!"

                                            >You shake your head to get rid of the image.

                                            >What are you doing?

                                            >You can't just imagine something like THAT with someone.

                                            >Besides, Anon would never-

                                            >You curl up under the covers of your bed.

                                            >With you…

                                            >…

                                            >At least you will see him again tomorrow.