[RGRE?] Anon the Cuddle Monster


                                            >that one prompt from before:

                                            >Ponies can understand Anon-words

                                            >Anon cannot understand horse-noises


                                            >You are Luna, herald of the night; protector of dreams; the face of darkness

                                            >You are also very bored.

                                            >Nopony's coming to your night court tonight.

                                            >It's been... three days since anypony had troubles that couldn't be solved during the day by your sister.

                                            >Not that you're complaining, though; you never really had the head for politics.

                                            >>"Ooh, my neighbour's tree branches stick out over my fence! Fix it!"

                                            >>"Wah! This mare's ancestors might have done something to MY ancestors! Throw her in the dungeon!"

                                            >Bucking peasants.

                                            >They were half the reason you turned dark a thousand years ago.

                                            >And they've only gotten worse.

                                            >At least back then, mares complained about blood-feuds and assassinations.

                                            >But one thing hasn't changed: your legion of tight-flanked colt-filled Royal Guards.

                                            >MMM!

                                            >At least your nights aren't a total waste, knowwhatimsayin'?

                                            >"Oh! Oh, well aren't YOU just the prettiest little thing?"

                                            >What the Moon is that thing.

                                            >A bipedal creatures is stalking towards you.

                                            >Strangely enough, he has a look of utter delight on his face.

                                            >Not an expression you're used to being on the business end of.

                                            "Halt, creature! State thy business!"

                                            >"Aww, somebody's a grumpster! Is it you? Is it?"

                                            >....is this thing mentally challenged?

                                            "Is this how you address your Princess? Guards, how did it even get in here?"

                                            >"Oh gosh, you look so soft and pretty. I wanna pet you!"

                                            >What.

                                            >NOPONY pets the royal fur!

                                            >Y-you're saving the Royal Tuft for your special somepony...

                                            [spoiler]>Your shy, meek, perfect horsebando...[/spoiler]

                                            >You stand up off of your throne and begin to back away.

                                            >Your morality prevents you from harming this confused colt, but you're running out of space behind you.

                                            >"Get back here, you big muffin! I'm gonna getcha! I'm gonna getcha!"

                                            >Oh Moon, is this what rape feels like?

                                            >You're so distracted by your imminent rape that you fail to notice that this rape-monster has closed the distance between the two of you.

                                            >With a yelp, he sits down and drags you onto his lap and lays you down on your back.

                                            >"Ohh, you're so soft. How did you get so soft?"

                                            >You want to answer him but you can't reveal your daily morning private spa treatment!

                                            >That shit's for COLTS!

                                            "G-guards! Guards, apprehend this creature! I need an adult!"

                                            >Your guards flood the room, looking around for a threat as best as their admittedly sub-par training has shown them.

                                            >Damn your decision to fill your ranks with eye-candy!

                                            >One of your guards spots your predicament and gasps loudly

                                            >>"Oh my Celestia, is that the cuddle-monster?"

                                            >Another one titters and does a little dance in place.

                                            >>"Oh, I LOVE that colt! He gives the BEST belly rubs!"

                                            >O-oh, my.

                                            >Colt-on-colt bellyrubbing?

                                            [spoiler]>That's so lewd![/spoiler]

                                            "Guards, get this thing off of me right now!"

                                            >But you are ignored.

                                            >Your guards talk amongst themselves about their meet-ups with his large monster.

                                            >Meanwhile, said creature is giving your tummy tum-tums slow rubs, and he's talking to you like you were a foal.

                                            >"You're my little cutie-patootie and I'll love you forever."

                                            >...

                                            "R-really?"

                                            [spoiler]>Is this what love feels like?[/spoiler]

                                            >Maybe you were a bit hasty trying to get this thing off of you.


                                            --------------------


                                            >....the buck is your sister at?

                                            >You are Celestia, and Luna isn't eating her breakfast-slash-dinner with you this morning.

                                            >You're having pancakes this morning, and your chubby little sister normally can't resist stuffing her face with them.

                                            >You suspect that something is a-hoof.

                                            >With poise and grace and all that bullshit, you walk through the halls of your venerable castle, opulent and imperial.

                                            >As you approach your sister's bedroom door, the sounds of muffled rap music grows louder.

                                            >...no, you were wrong.

                                            >That's FUNK music.

                                            >What is that that stomping you hear?

                                            >Is Luna dancing?

                                            >Oh goodness, you HAVE to see this.

                                            >Without any consideration for you sister's privacy, you open the door just a crack and poke your muzzle in.

                                            >"MACHO MACHO MARE"

                                            >Yes.

                                            >"I'VE GOT TO BE! A MACHO MARE!"

                                            >Yes!

                                            >"I'VE GOT TO BE A MACHO MACHO MARE!"

                                            >Mon Dieu!

                                            >"I'VE GO TO BE A MACHO~"

                                            >You are Luna.

                                            >You think you've maybe misjudged this gentle creature.

                                            >Sure, he was a little bit rough at first.

                                            >And sure, he didn't really consider anything you were saying to him....

                                            >He basically did what he wanted with you and didn't even listen when you told him to stop.

                                            >That part was actually kind of hot.

                                            >You've learned something new about yourself today.

                                            >You like to think that you're good friends with him now.

                                            >Maybe even more than friends.

                                            >Dare you say it?

                                            >The most forbidden of special friends?

                                            >....

                                            >Cuddle buddies.

                                            >If his babbling and half-mad promises are anything to go by, you think he's probably going to find a bedroom and just starting living here in this castle with you.

                                            >This is okay with you.

                                            >Because you NEVER get to have as much fun with ANYPONY as you are now!

                                            >You've invited him into your bedroom (NOT because you thought he might see your bed and decide to lay down and snuggle the Royal Tuft) and one thing lead to another...

                                            >The two of you are dancing to what was THE hottest song back before you were grounded and sent to your moon.

                                            >He's got your fore-hooves in his gentle grip, forcing you to stand up and balance on your hind legs.

                                            >This is the most fun you've had in CENTURIES.


                                            -------------------------

                                            April 26, 2016:


                                            >You are Cadence, and you regret staffing your royal guard with mares.

                                            >How were you supposed to know that mares were the stallions of the world a thousand years ago?!

                                            >You've found three of them already asleep, and you know that it's only a matter of time, now.

                                            >He's here.

                                            >You don't know how, but he's here.

                                            >But you are a princess, dammit! You won't be beat by a colt!

                                            >You're going to make your last stand in the most secure room in the palace: your bedroom.

                                            >With Shining on your heels, you sprint through the crystal halls, adrenaline amplifying each and every sound echoing through your castle.

                                            "J-just a few *huff* more halls, Sh-shiny."

                                            >....

                                            >....how long has it been since you've heard him complaining about ruining his hooficure?

                                            >You're suddenly aware that you've only been able to hear one set of hoof-steps for the last minute or two; that of your own.

                                            >You skid to a stop and spin around to look behind you.

                                            >He's gone.

                                            >No.

                                            >Please, Celestia, no.

                                            >You almost lost him at the wedding; you can't lose him now.

                                            >Not again.

                                            >>"Rock-a-by baby, on the tree-top..."

                                            >Your heart skips a beat.

                                            >>"When the wind blows, the cradle will rock..."

                                            >You taken an involuntary step backwards, away from the new voice.

                                            >>"When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall..."

                                            >A figure steps around the corner, bipedal and green. Your husband is asleep in his arms.

                                            >He.... he looks so comfortable and content.

                                            >Who would DO that to a colt?!

                                            >>"And down will fall baby, cradle and all..."

                                            >You think you just peed yourself a little.