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Scraps - prompts/bumpers/skeletons/unpolished

By hotkinkajou
Created: 2020-12-31 14:20:58
Expiry: Never
promptsbumpsskeletons

  1. >tfw "magic burns calories meme"
  2. >tfw you're stuffing your gullet every day and can't gain a single kilo
  3. >tfw you were your anatomy teacher's favorite pupil because you look like a bucking skeleton
  4. >tfw you have to wear a thick sweater in all seasons because you're cold
  5.  
  6.  
  7.  
  8. >Once you were doing a job enchanting some custom gadgets for a friend.
  9. >You were so engrossed in spellweaving that you forgot to eat for five days and fainted going down the stairs.
  10. >Good luck that your friend decided to show up at the exact same time and tended to you.
  11. >Your bruises were visible through the fur for days.
  12. >Ponies thought that somebody jumped you in a dark alley, or that you got into a fight over etching methods.
  13. >You don't correct them
  14.  
  15.  
  16.  
  17. >The only stallions that you talk to are shopkeepers. Talked. None of local ones even bother smiling at you anymore. It's not like you react anyway.
  18.  
  19. >The only ponies that know when your birthday is are government officials. You don't tell anypony. If they don't know - they can't forget it.
  20.  
  21. >A fellow craftspony, another enchantress like you and your occasional competitor, went to some kind of drunken orgy in another town while in heat. Came back pregnant, and recently gave birth to a filly.
  22. >She is a herdless mother. She doesn't even know who the father is.
  23. >She even invited you to move in together. What, share her misery?
  24. >She is not supposed to look so bucking happy. This is what losers do. Losers should suffer.
  25. >She is not supposed to.
  26.  
  27.  
  28.  
  29. >Shit shit shit your sweater tore
  30. >It was your last sweater. You were putting off buying a new one for too long.
  31. >You have the money, you are rolling in dosh, you earn a lot and spend bucking nothing!
  32. >But you had just one bucking sweater!
  33. >Saved yourself a lot of trouble here, not going to the seamstress!
  34.  
  35. >Come on Moonie, you're a magister of magic, you should be able to repair some dumb fabric!
  36. >As you try to mend the torn threads, new tears open up here and there.
  37. >You try harder, and the material disintegrates.
  38.  
  39. >You can't go outside without it. Everyone will see.
  40.  
  41.  
  42.  
  43. >It all clicked! You got it!
  44. >The problem that you were trying to solve for the past two weeks!
  45. >All it took was a little bit of re-weaving, using a different method here and there, and spell is now provably non-tangling!
  46. >Furthermore, the pattern looks very promising for tangle-resolution in multi-layer spells in general!
  47. >You have to share it! With everyone!
  48. >With one of your current clients. With her secretary. With the random pony that sat on your bench in the park...
  49. >They all politely bear your insane ramblings, and you're just not autistic enough to not notice their unease.
  50.  
  51. >How can they not see the beauty?
  52. >Easy. They have no idea what you're talking about.
  53. >And their lives are all the richer for it.
  54. >To them, your craft is invisible.
  55.  
  56. >A pegasus alights on the balcony across the street. She shakes her flight goggles off her head...
  57. >Those are your babies! You wove the spells that make them tick!
  58. >Does she know how many sleepless nights it took to cram anti-fog into such a small gem?
  59. >You wonder what her reaction was when she learned just how powerful her new gear is!
  60. >Probably something like: "huh. neat."
  61.  
  62. >Maybe you should write to "Enchantress Monthly". They would probably publish your work!
  63. >And maybe a dozen ponies or so will find it as fascinating as you did.
  64. >Sad freaks like you.
  65.  
  66.  
  67.  
  68. >yfw this is true
  69. >yfw your best is good enough...
  70. >just not to get any kind of acclaim
  71.  
  72.  
  73.  
  74. >You postponed visiting the tailors until your old sweater literally fell apart into pieces.
  75. >For three days you were mustering the courage to appear in public au naturel.
  76. >To no awail.
  77. >Then your food ran out, the last bread loaf turning moldy.
  78. >Hunger succeedded where your willpower failed.
  79. >The plan at first was to visit a tailor in the early morning hours - when everyone is still shaking off the night's sleep, and too preoccupied with getting to work on time to stare at you.
  80. >Place a custom order and hightail it back to base, or, preferably, pay to rush and wait for it at the shop.
  81. >You had the bits, why not put then to good use?
  82.  
  83. >The first tailor asked you politely, yet firmly, to leave, before he chased you out using your own "tattered pissrags", and to never bring trash into his establishment again
  84.  
  85. >>"Sweet Celestia, did you see that? Yellowish-gray, red mane, right over by the hay-slinger?"
  86. >>"Duyde, that is messed up!"
  87.  
  88. >At another, fancier boutique, the owner heard out your plea, but absolutely refused to remake the item as is - two sizes bigger than your frame.
  89. >She told you that such a brilliant pony - she knew one when she saw one, darling - deserves nothing less than a perfect fit.
  90. >That was the whole point!
  91.  
  92. >>"Mommy, why is this pony so weird-looking?"
  93. >>"Because she refused to eat her alfalfa, just like you did today!"
  94.  
  95. >Others still didn't deal with wool, which is natural for Canterlot's mild climate.
  96. >Besides, no true Canterlotian would willingly wear someone else's coat.
  97. >Pompous fucks.
  98.  
  99. >>"Honey, what are you looking at-- oh".
  100.  
  101. >This was a complete and utter disaster.
  102.  
  103. >Looks you could tolerate.
  104. >Insults you could manage.
  105. >It's the futility of your efforts that really hurt.
  106. >Sapped your will.
  107. >The last remaining thread of it was straining, keeping back the tears that welled up in your eyes from flowing freely.
  108. >How can getting a fucking sweater made be so difficult?
  109. ________
  110.  
  111. >Anon is a magical void
  112. >It doesn't help him in any meaningful way and only causes trouble
  113. >Power doesn't grow
  114. >Magical resistance doesn't protect him from harm because even if you can't hit him with magic you can fling a rock at him
  115. >The fire insulation enchantment on his stove malfunctions and starts leaking, causing a small fire. The fire brigade brings in volatile rainclouds, and he ruins one by touching it, destroying the flowerbed in front of his house in the process.
  116. >Temporary cloud walkway in Cloudsdale starts dissolving under him despite the cloudwalk spell. The spell also works half as long
  117. >Has to bribe doctors despite public healthcare because using healing spells on him is about as fun and easy as assembling a house of cards using large metal sheets on a crooked table.
  118. >Pinkie doesn't know his birthday
  119. >Zap Apple Jam turns to regular apple jam approx.10 minutes after he handles it. He discovers this when he makes PB&J and then answers the door before he can eat them. The solution is using a long (and unwieldy) wooden spoon.
  120. >non-stick enchantment on his frying pan fails
  121. >because he disrupts the earth pony love with which the fruits are gathered in Equestria, his groceries spoil faster
  122. >Poison Joke, instead of playing a joke on him that reverts as soon as you wash away the pollen, acts like the magic version of the heracleum plant. Anon gets an acute magic burn on his arm. It leaves a small scar, it is ugly and not badass
  123. >Discord decides to play a joke on Anon, transforming him into a hobbit so that he can ride ponies - along with his clothes. He miscalculates and the local-made clothes transform, while Anon doesn't. The clothes rip and tear, leaving a naked Anon in the middle of the street
  124. >Celestia invites Anon to take a flight in her chariot. All the enchantments on the chariot hold, except one - the anti-certigo one, and only on his side of the chariot. He pukes on Celestia.
  125.  
  126. >Spike tries to send a scroll via dragonfire, but the cloud touches Anon. Instead of getting to Celestia it is sent to Luna, who was sleeping at the time. Everyone is mildly inconvenienced,
  127. >Anon is the only one in Ponyville who has ice buildup in his icebox and has to defrost it from time to time
  128. >Ponies rely on magic-inhibiting properties of salt to get buzzed, so their booze has a much lower alcohol content. He can't get drunk.
  129. >Anon is handled a sparkler at a celebration. Instead or burning brightly and sparkling colorful sparks, it burns like a normal sparkler.
  130. >Anon tries applebucking. No matter how hard he hits, he can't get the effect earth ponies have. He then tries even harder and damages a tree.
  131. >Food doesn't taste as tasty as it should.
  132.  
  133.  
  134. _______
  135.  
  136. "So, Anon, even if you don't have a cutie mark, you said you had a job, right? What was it, perhaps we can find a place where your talent is needed!"
  137. >"I'm a full-stack senior dev-
  138.  
  139. >>woop woop Translating to pone-o-vision!!
  140.  
  141. >"I'm a whole-pile senior prospunctor with 7 years of experience in blopping and zimzams, I have experience leading small teams of prospunctors. I also have experience in blimpfing. I have several finished cloffe popps in my portfolio, a distributed blopper system, and a a successful wide-guts jib that I maintain in my free time."
  142. "Anon... I'm afraid I don't recognize any of the... professions? qualifications? that you listed..."
  143. "But I heard that the Ponyville cafeteria is always looking for staff..."
  144. "Dovetail is also looking for an assistant, her stallion is now taking care of the herd's foals and can't help her with heavy lumber anymore."
  145.  
  146. ______
  147.  
  148. >be Anon in Equestria
  149. >notice there are no food banks to help the underprivileged that suddenly find themselves in dire straits
  150. >open one
  151. >since horseland smells like communism at every level you are constantly in surplus.
  152. >you try to stem the tide of donations but ponies still bring more food than needed
  153. >there is only one way
  154. >you pickle the food so that it doesn't spoil and start returning the overflow
  155. >as the ponies get a whiff of your pickling operation, they start bringing more
  156. >everypony wants some alien pickles.
  157. >you pickle their interests full time now
  158. >you rebrand your bank as "Anon's Cannery"
  159. >you constantly reek of vinegar and ponies follow you around, sniffing
  160. >such is your life
  161.  
  162.  
  163.  
  164. >still be Anon in preserved gender roles Equestria
  165. >as you are closing a nice jar of Zucchinis, an angry Applejack appears
  166. >she walks right into your kitchen and starts emitting angry horse noises
  167. >"Anawn. I've done been sending you my apples for a while...
  168. "And hel-lo to you too, Jackie. What's buzzin', cousin?"
  169. >she almost stumbles as her angry expression falters
  170. >"...and I've been waiting for too darn long to see what alien pickled apples taste like!"
  171. "Come on, Jackie, I've told you already. You know that apples aren't meant to be pickled!"
  172. "I use some Granny Smith apples that you brought to make saurerkraut, but that is all I can think of."
  173. >...another jar stuffed with zucchini pieces and topped off with brine
  174. "And you know that you don't need an excuse to visit!"
  175. >that pone was watching the process rather tensely, but finally she relaxes and sits down near your Workstation
  176. >"Oh come on Anawn, I know for sure you're pulling my leg."
  177. >"Zucchinis ain't for pickling either and you're sure as vinegar pickling them!"
  178. "Yeah, I remembered an old recipe my father tried once."
  179. "Turned out half-decent, so maybe you pony folk will like it too!"
  180.  
  181. SNIP
  182.  
  183. >now you are Applejack
  184. >that colt was just stuffin' and twistin' the entire time you were talking.
  185. >twistin' and stuffin'!
  186. >thank Celestia today is planned to be a slow day, so you can retire to your bunk
  187. >Granny always taught you that a proper homestead needs a prudent master, and damn if that colt ain't one
  188. >he calls you cousin tho, so you're [spoiler]COUSINZONED[/spoiler]
  189. >gotta ask Pinka what to do in this here predicament
  190. >that gurl knows all there is about them colts
  191. >if there's anypony that can help you out of the [spoiler]COUSINZONE[/spoiler], it's her
  192. >otherwise you'll just gonna have to go and prove all those snooty city-ponies right and fuck your cuz anyway.
  193.  
  194. ____________
  195.  
  196. >day Anon in Deadquestria
  197. >everyhorse is some variety of undead
  198. >since you have no soul you are kinda undead too
  199. >they welcome you with open hooves and horsemarriages
  200. >some shenanigans ensue and you get horsemarried to Vomp-Bon and Mummyra
  201. >so you twist mummy-Lyra's teats
  202. >and they fall off
  203. >"It's ok, Anon. A little part of me will always be with you."
  204. >"Now you can twist my teats even when I'm away!"
  205. >This is the most romatic present anyone has ever got you
  206. >You twist them all the time
  207.  
  208. ____________
  209.  
  210. >Ancient dragons were under constant murderape threat
  211. >Solitary dragons on hunt were regularly ambushed and torn to shreds for weapons and armor.
  212. >Murderape tribes would regularly sneak through dragon camps to steal their eggs and hatchlings
  213. >The eggs were eaten and the young forced to a life as disposable battlebeasts
  214. >Threat forced the solitary dragons together into tribes
  215. >First to defend the young
  216. >And then to deal with the threat
  217. >And then murderapes ceased appearing, at all.
  218. >In time the finality of the dragon's actions came crashing down.
  219. >The thing that jump-started their civilization was... just gone.
  220. >The first genocide in the history of dragons changed them forever
  221. >Made them shun violence and seek diplomacy in all matters
  222.  
  223. >Be dragon in Equestria
  224. >On way to see horse gods
  225. >See the supposed-to-be-extinct-killer-dodo wielding weapons
  226. >leading a dragon hatchling out to the forest
  227. >What do?
  228.  
  229. [spoiler]
  230. >Be Anon in brosquestria
  231. >going on the very first hunting trip with your littlest bro
  232. >"You know, bro, it's kinda weird."
  233. >"I know ponies don't hunt, but all the time I spent with the dragons I've never seen one of them do it either"
  234. >"And they were all bigger ones too."
  235. "Those guys you hung out with were still too young. Why do you think they went stealing eggs?"
  236. "They just wanted to hunt like adults, but didn't want to get in trouble."
  237. >You turn to him and flash a conspiratorial smile
  238. "We're doing the real thing though"
  239. >"Awesome!"
  240. "Don't get too excited bro, it's mostly sitting and waiting. The patient hunter..."
  241. >"...gets the prey!"
  242. [/spoiler]
  243.  
  244.  
  245. __________
  246. Rarity swims in stallions because she is famous, stylish and suave.
  247. Has no respect for males, and instead of a prince she'd rather have the sexy, obedient butler.
  248. But somewhere deep, deep inside she still hopes to find the lord of her castle
  249.  
  250. Pinkie Pie is a pickup artist - as in, truly ARTist, not the kind that read a few books.
  251. With her charm, skills and stamina she probably outfucks half of Ponyville - combined!
  252. Other mares always ask her how she does it. There is a secret - she just doesn't care!
  253.  
  254. Flutters is just too hot - hot damn! Say her name and everypony KNOWS who she is.
  255. Stallions spill hay in front of her so much she bales it up and sells it.
  256. Some say she gets fish for her carnivorous animals by flirting with griffons and getting them to spill it from their pockets.
  257. She doesn't have time for them though.
  258.  
  259. Applejack is a tradcon, and values family greatly.
  260. She also is the Mare of a family of four, a position forced upon her when she was still too young.
  261. The only romantic experience she had was with a colt in school.
  262. She admires those real, working colts that are not afraid to get their hooves dirty and know how to run a homestead.
  263.  
  264. Rainbow Dash is mixed case.
  265. Her constantly absent single mother didn't teach her how to deal with stallions.
  266. She feels betrayed by her father and his mares, as her mother and her were thrown out of the herd
  267. Bitter and distrustful towards mares.
  268. Doesn't understand stallions, and, as Rarity puts it, "their delicate, indirect nature"
  269. To make matters worse, she seems to be monosexual.
  270. Fluttershy, Gilda and the bearers are the only real friends she ever had.
  271.  
  272. Twilight Sparkle forgot to leave the library when everypony hit puberty.
  273. She has zero sexual experience, and had zero romantic relationships.
  274. The only stallions she knew close are her father, her brother, and two of her school professors.
  275. She had a crush on one of Shining's friends that sometimes came over, but didn't even realize it at the time
  276. __________
  277.  
  278. >Ponies never go anywhere unless they have to.
  279. >Literally have no idea what's going on around them unless some other non-pony comes through and tells them.
  280. >Not to mention haven't ever circumnavigated the fucking world
  281. >Gryphons say if you go in one direction you arrive in the same place after some time.
  282. >yeah, if you run around in circles pfft hahaha
  283. >If the world is round then how do the princesses make the sun rise?
  284.  
  285. >Anon decides to travel a little because fuck mares being mares 24/7
  286. >Mares, man!
  287. >Not to another town though.
  288. >Roughing it! In the forest! For a WEEK!
  289. >and he's taking only a single backpack with him
  290. >no tent
  291. >no MATRESS!
  292. >no strategic ice cream supply for the moods!
  293. >not even a portable magic stove
  294. >some mares think he has gone insane
  295. >other think he got himself banished and is trying to save face
  296.  
  297. >Rainbro is one of the latter and bravely decides to follow her horsebando to the ends of Equestria
  298. >Anon is like ok because Rainbro isn't that much of a bitch
  299. >They go hiking for a week, regular forest, not even the scary Everfree.
  300. >Anon uses his advanced bushcraft skills to craft the shit out of those bushes
  301. [spoiler]I've always found the term bushcraft very funny[/spoiler]
  302. >Rainbro is 50% scared for poor horsebando 50% amazeballs at what he's doing
  303. >Anon, noticing the amazeballs, is so showing off, teaching her ten different types of campfires
  304. >Collects firewood and builds a raft without any tools
  305. >Catches some poor animal frien-- future fried meat
  306. >Even makes somewhat fancy fukken meals from wild plants and stuff.
  307. >Studied the local plant life specifically for this.
  308.  
  309. >Week passes and out heroes return home
  310. >Nobody understands what happened and why a sane colt would just go into the WILD for FUN
  311. >Most mares prefer to pretend nothing happened because wtf actually
  312. >Rainbro already had a few adventures under her proverbial belt,
  313. >and now that she actually has experience living in the wild, she takes a levelup and becomes drinking buddies with Daring Douche
  314. >Twiggles puts a tracking spell on Anon so he can never get lost like that ever again
  315. >Shutterfly, [spoiler]de-[/spoiler]Flower Trio and some other very scaredy shits avoid that vicious predator like wildfire
  316. >Applejack, hearing from Rainbro how you are a resourceful colt that sleeps all night and works all day, starts to lewd it up
  317. >You finally snap when she launches a small apple at you from her horsevagina
  318. >Generous application of [spoiler]DIPLOMACY! you thought teat-twisting? hah, gotty![/spoiler] saves the day.
  319. >She still wants to horsemarry you though
  320. "Sorry, Applejack, but I'm already HORSEBROED"
  321. >Rainbro swoops down from the heavens to answer your call
  322. >And carries you into the sunset like an adorable little jetpack
  323. >[spoiler] you steer her through teat-twisting[/spoiler]
  324.  
  325.  
  326. _____________
  327.  
  328.  
  329. [spoiler]If you think about it, Lero is already almost a human Fluttershy. I had some thoughts about getting him a more fleshed-out Fluttershy-ish background - naturally soft and caring, but brought up to be firm, ultimately going into corrective education and psychology.[/spoiler]
  330.  
  331. _____________
  332.  
  333. > Be [spoiler]comic[/spoiler] artist Anon in Equestria
  334. > Hey, comics are a real art form!
  335. > And you were a real artist, you just needed to find true recognition.
  336. > Your tumblr had followers, you were this close to landing an actual job at a comics publisher!
  337. > But here you are in Equestria and nobody gives a shit about mad monkey drawings.
  338. > Mad monkey doesn't even have a pencil or a brush on its buttocks.
  339. >tfw no qtmark
  340. > Making ends meet doing odd jobs around small-horse-small-town
  341. > Ponyville, whatever, this was where you were given refuge.
  342. > Apparently the podunk town was getting some attention after the newest Princess of "Friendship" moved in here.
  343. > Young and impressionable thing full of enthusiasm. She can't possibly have any real authority yet.
  344. > [spoiler]Are you here as a learning aid?[/spoiler]
  345. > No matter what, the place was still a dump, and you couldn't afford to move to a bigger city.
  346. > With how much sharpening plows, fixing furniture netted you, this will be true for a long time.
  347. > Sometimes you got to paint signs for shops and stuff though.
  348. > These were the only moments you didn't feel absolutely hollow inside.
  349. > You badly needed a breakthrough
  350.  
  351. _____________
  352.  
  353.  
  354. >>25284368
  355.  
  356. [spoiler]guess what, durnk, you are now horsemarried to Dashie! And apparently an Aussie[/spoiler]
  357.  
  358. >Hot waifu Dashie is finally warming up to the idea of violent predator anun fucking her against the wall
  359. >Decides to play rough too [spoiler]a little[/spoiler]
  360. >Ponies always call her cockstruck and teat-twisted for being fucked against the wall by hot monkey anun
  361. >Dashie is seemingly not stupid and decides kicking your genitals is too much
  362. >Dem titties though
  363. >If human males don't nurse young...
  364. >...it means their teats are only for twisting!
  365. >Sound logic
  366.  
  367. >Time you're gonna get fucked against a wall in Equestria
  368. >Chilling with anun on the couch after a long day
  369. >More like you were reading Intrepid Can and he just flopped over
  370. >Did you notice that he's durnk?
  371. >More like he looks tipsy but he calls it durnk
  372. >He doesn't even drink, but he's always like that when he's chillin
  373. >Just like Berry, but he's supposedly nonmagical.
  374. >Goof.
  375. >Well, no time like the fucking present
  376. >Oh, what a mare has to do to earn a harder buckin'!
  377. >Gotta entertain your stallion.
  378. >Wiggle out from under his body. He just falls down on the couch.
  379. >"where you goin' hun?"
  380. >Oh, he's all sprawled on the couch and [spoiler]his shirt is undone[/spoiler]
  381. >Oh sweet celestia, thank you for this sign!
  382. >Gotta rub him just right, all seductive-like and do it.
  383. >Shake what your momma gave ya
  384. >Bite and twist.
  385.  
  386. >He is looking at you bemusedly
  387. >"what you doin luv?"
  388. "What's it look like, you <3 hot <3 monkey <3 mess?"
  389. >"looks like you're thirsty luv"
  390. "I'm being a very bad filly, twisting your teats like that"
  391. >"k"
  392. "You're going to have to punish me really hard for this, won't you?"
  393. >"don't actually feel much luv"
  394. >Doesn't feel anything? Huh.
  395. "How about this?"
  396. >"i told you hun they are useless. you seem like havin fun though"
  397. >Not like this. This was not supposed to happen.
  398. >How can you salvage the situation?
  399. >Bite harder. He's supposed to feel something at some point, right?
  400. >"ow shit!"
  401. >aaand you drew blood.
  402. >"aw fuck. well i don't know what you were planning to do dash but you did something alright"
  403. >Somewhere in the back of your mind you remember that you just hurt anun, but...
  404. >The taste blood in your mouth.
  405. >You're getting flashbacks to that time when Gil talked you into tasting her lunch
  406. >Anun's a big guy, he'll handle himself. Didn't bite that hard, right?
  407. >Meanwhile you've gotta barf.
  408. >"dashie, i've got no idea what this just was, but your ass is getting FUCKED tonight"
  409. >Holy *BARF* shit this still worked somehow!
  410. >Still, not doing this again.
  411. >Momma always told you not to twist your sisses' tittes
  412. >And anun was always a total sis
  413. >Why didn't you *bleh* listen?
  414.  
  415. _____________
  416.  
  417.  
  418. Anonymous 10/28/15(Wed)21:36:11 No.25252223?>>25252254
  419. >>25252045
  420. > She also has to repel AJ and Fluttershy's advances on her husband.
  421. >>
  422. Anonymous 10/28/15(Wed)21:41:54 No.25252254?>>25252388
  423. >>25252223
  424. >She also has to negotiate AJs and Fluttershy's requests to join Anons herd
  425. FTFY
  426.  
  427.  
  428. Also
  429. >Dash decides to give it a go and doesn't chase them off
  430. >"Come on, give it a try, big guy! you always told me you wanted a big family!"
  431. "Ok Dashbut only for you"
  432.  
  433. >Flut and Jack start courting you.
  434. >Apparently they thought that your quiet, polite and inoffensive-to-pones outward persona is you
  435. >Date with Flut goes fine, but she freaks out when you give her a goodbye kiss and pin her back to the wall to do it.
  436. >Stammers something about keeping work and pleasure separate and flies off.
  437. >Jack just babies you the entire date and gets up all in your face a lot telling about how she bucked the faces of some other clan a year ago, then goes home sad because you were mildly annoyed and not amused.
  438. >Were you supposed to be impressed? You've seen lots of pone fights, they never even draw blood.
  439.  
  440. >They both start slamming The Dash for settling with such a rude, arrogant, unstallionly colt that obviously can't respect her and probably even won't do anal
  441. _____________
  442.  
  443. https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24915638/#24984538
  444.  
  445. In the Anon in Equestria thread someone mentioned yet again how Fluttershy tries to guess your fetish
  446.  
  447. >"If Fluttershy asked you about your fetish, what would you tell her?"
  448. "I would not tell a single word to her. I would ask her what her fetish was, because that's what nobody ever did."
  449.  
  450. ]Anonymous Thu 08 Oct 2015 17:03:33:
  451. ]>Her face lights up like a retard at Chuck E Cheese.
  452. ]>"Oh, my fetish is stuffing small animals up my butt. What's yours?"
  453.  
  454.  
  455. "Ever tried it with the one-eyed purple snake?"
  456. >aintevenmad.jpg
  457.  
  458. ]Anonymous Thu 08 Oct 2015 17:16:39:
  459. ]>"Oh, I'm sorry Anon. Normally I like larger animals than that inside me."
  460.  
  461. >Ouch. That hurt.
  462. >If she even understood you, that is.
  463. >Well, she wants bigger, she can have bigger.
  464. "Well how about my good friend Rosie Palms?"
  465.  
  466.  
  467.  
  468. >You go to yellowquiet's hobbit hole that night
  469. >She agreed to let you fuck her throat if you sing her the song of your people:
  470. >Stinkfist.mp3
  471. >Apparently she really likes when something wiggles inside.
  472. >You really hope Lyra doesn't hear about this.
  473. ...
  474. >You're doing it. You're fistfucking the quiet horse
  475. >Fist slid in like it was vacuumed up.
  476. >She does a lot of butt stuff now doesn't she?
  477. >She even gave you a hoof-bump.
  478. >Not on your free hand
  479. >HotKinkyShy.avi
  480. >"You know... oh... Anon... This may be my actual fetish..."
  481. >Love you too quiet horse
  482.  
  483. >Be Angel
  484. >Mistress has fucking guests
  485. >Fucking again
  486. >You were thrown out because apparently you bite a lot
  487. >Fuck you I won't do what you tell me.mp3
  488. >Strut into her bedroom and HOLY SHIT
  489. >It's that monkey
  490. >Mistress is letting it jitter her critters.
  491. >Think Angel
  492. >He's stealing your job
  493. >Your hazard pay is on the line. You can't live without them cherries!
  494. >Think!
  495. Anonymous Thu 08 Oct 2015 18:25:29 No.24985057 Report
  496. Quoted By: >>24985075 >>24985090 >>24985180 >>24985571 >>24986055
  497. >>24984966
  498. >Anon signing in
  499. >And sliding in. And out. Dat Ass.jpg
  500. >Fluttershy is completely out of it.
  501. "That's enough playing for today, Flut. I haven't even started and I need you awake for the next part"
  502. >"Oh yes Anon"
  503. >Flut is COMPLETELY out.
  504. >You slide your arm out to admire your handiwork.
  505. >butt wait
  506. >Did something just bite you?
  507. >You let out the mareliest scream and jolt forwards
  508. "What the fuck??"
  509. >That fucking jump-rat
  510. >Flut snaps out of her fuck stupor and freaks out
  511. >"Oh, my goodness! Anon, what happened?"
  512. >You feel as if jaws have snapped shut on your elbow
  513. >"Angel! What did Mommy tell you about guests? You don't go in my bedroom when I have guests!"
  514. >"Oh Anon, are you hurt?.. I... I will bring you a bandage!"
  515. >She tries to fly off, but her asshole won't budge.
  516. >Stops mid-air like a dog on a taut leash.
  517. >Except the leash is your arm
  518. >And you are held together by her anus
  519. "Fluttershy, stop! I'm still inside."
  520. >She's laying on the floor like an adorable little hand-puppet
  521. >She has only just realized that you were still in the middle of it.
  522. >Dat blush.
  523. >Oh, now you see she FELT your hand. In the middle of it.
  524. >How did she not notice earlier?
  525. >"Oh, Anon... If you could just slide your hoof out, I could bring you a bandage"
  526. "I can't. You're holding me too tight. You need to relax first"
  527. >"Oh... I.."
  528. >She looks down to your legs and sees the blood.
  529. >You see her wince, and her ponut clenches even tighter.
  530.  
  531. >You are Anon and you are now not just stuck in horse land, you are now also stuck in a horse.
  532.  
  533. ----------
  534.  
  535. Baby's first green as it was
  536. https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24915638/#24984538
  537.  
  538. original: Anonymous Thu 08 Oct 2015 16:55:20 No.24984538 Report
  539. Quoted By: >>24984584
  540. >>24979291
  541. >"If Fluttershy asked you about your fetish, what would you tell her?"
  542. "I would not tell a single word to her. I would ask her what her fetish was, because that's what nobody ever did."
  543. Anonymous Thu 08 Oct 2015 17:03:33 No.24984584 Report
  544. Quoted By: >>24984620
  545. >>24984538
  546. >Her face lights up like a retard at Chuck E Cheese.
  547. >"Oh, my fetish is stuffing small animals up my butt. What's yours?"
  548. Anonymous Thu 08 Oct 2015 17:08:33 No.24984620 Report
  549. Quoted By: >>24984661
  550. >>24984584
  551. "Ever tried it with the one-eyed purple snake?"
  552. aintevenmad.jpg
  553. Anonymous Thu 08 Oct 2015 17:16:39 No.24984661 Report
  554. Quoted By: >>24984966
  555. >>24984620
  556. >"Oh, I'm sorry Anon. Normally I like larger animals than that inside me."
  557. Anonymous Thu 08 Oct 2015 18:08:20 No.24984966 Report
  558. Quoted By: >>24985057
  559. >>24984661
  560. "Well how about my good friend Rosie Palms?"
  561.  
  562. >You go to yellowquiet's hobbit hole that night
  563. >She agreed to let you fuck her throat if you sing her the song of your people:
  564. >Stinkfist.mp3
  565. >Apparently she really likes when something wiggles inside.
  566. >You really hope Lyra doesn't hear about this.
  567. ...
  568. >You're doing it. You're fistfucking the quiet horse
  569. >Fist slid in like it was vacuumed up.
  570. >She does a lot of butt stuff now doesn't she?
  571. >She even gave you a hoof-bump.
  572. >Not on your free hand
  573. >HotKinkyShy.avi
  574. >"You know... oh... Anon... This may be my actual fetish..."
  575. >Love you too quiet horse
  576.  
  577. >Be Angel
  578. >Mistress has fucking guests
  579. >Fucking again
  580. >You were thrown out because apparently you bite a lot
  581. >Fuck you I won't do what you tell me.mp3
  582. >Strut into her bedroom and HOLY SHIT
  583. >It's that monkey
  584. >Mistress is letting it jitter her critters.
  585. >Think Angel
  586. >He's stealing your job
  587. >Your hazard pay is on the line. You can't live without them cherries!
  588. >Think!
  589. Anonymous Thu 08 Oct 2015 18:25:29 No.24985057 Report
  590. Quoted By: >>24985075 >>24985090 >>24985180 >>24985571 >>24986055
  591. >>24984966
  592. >Anon signing in
  593. >And sliding in. And out. Dat Ass.jpg
  594. >Fluttershy is completely out of it.
  595. "That's enough playing for today, Flut. I haven't even started and I need you awake for the next part"
  596. >"Oh yes Anon"
  597. >Flut is COMPLETELY out.
  598. >You slide your arm out to admire your handiwork.
  599. >butt wait
  600. >Did something just bite you?
  601. >You let out the mareliest scream and jolt forwards
  602. "What the fuck??"
  603. >That fucking jump-rat
  604. >Flut snaps out of her fuck stupor and freaks out
  605. >"Oh, my goodness! Anon, what happened?"
  606. >You feel jaws snapping shut on your elbow
  607. >"Angel! What did Mommy tell you about guests? You don't go in my bedroom when I have guests!"
  608. >"Oh Anon, are you hurt?.. I... I will bring you a bandage!"
  609. >She tries to fly off, but her asshole won't budge.
  610. >Stops mid-air like a dog on a taut leash.
  611. >Except the leash is your arm
  612. >And you are held together by her anus
  613. "Fluttershy, stop! I'm still inside."
  614. >She's laying on the floor like an adorable little hand-puppet
  615. >She has only just realized that you were still in the middle of it.
  616. >Dat blush.
  617. >Oh, now you see she FELT your hand. In the middle of it.
  618. >How did she not notice earlier?
  619. >"Oh, Anon... If you could just slide your hoof out, I could bring you a bandage"
  620. "I can't. You're holding me too tight. You need to relax first"
  621. >"Oh... I.."
  622. >She looks down to your legs and sees the blood.
  623. >You see her wince, and her ponut clenches even tighter.
  624.  
  625. >You are Anon and you are now not just stuck in horse land, you are now also stuck in a horse.
  626.  
  627. holy shit my first green. witness me ponyfags!
  628. Anonymous Thu 08 Oct 2015 18:29:05 No.24985075 Report
  629. >>24985057
  630. >You feel jaws snapping shut on your elbow
  631. -->
  632. >You feel as if jaws have snapped shut on your elbow
  633.  
  634. kek missed this one
  635. Anonymous Thu 08 Oct 2015 18:31:11 No.24985090 Report
  636. Quoted By: >>24985123
  637. >>24985057
  638. It was both hilarious and disgusting. In other words it was perfect.

Anon gets his own comic and makes a gay fri...

by hotkinkajou

Scraps - prompts/bumpers/skeletons/unpolished

by hotkinkajou

Pinkie Pie channeling Lt. Rzhevsky

by hotkinkajou

Anon gets into a fight

by hotkinkajou

Anon and the battered stallion

by hotkinkajou