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Six Spooktacular Flutterrape Stories

By ZigZagWanderer
Created: 2021-01-05 19:48:58
Expiry: Never
anonapplejacktwilight sparklefluttershypinkie pierarityrainbow dash/flutterrape/

  1. This should make things a bit easier to navigate:
  2. >Press and hold the "ctrl" key and then the "F" key.
  3. >Type in the letter and number that is written before each story title.
  4. >Profit?
  5.  
  6. [c1] (line 18): "Halloween Holiday Horrors" (with Twilight Sparkle)
  7. [c2] (line 530): "Pranks Gone Right" (with Pinkie Pie)
  8. [c3] (line 1078): "Tossing Cookies" (with Applejack)
  9. [c4] (line 1349): "Dashie's Dolly Fantasy" (with Rainbow Dash)
  10. [c5] (line 1570): "Costume Contest" (with Rarity)
  11. [c6] (line 1964): "Date Night" (with Fluttershy)
  12.  
  13.  
  14.  
  15. [c1]
  16.  
  17.  
  18. >You and Twilight were sitting in her study.
  19. >The two of you were engaging in one of your human history sessions for over twenty minutes now and in that time neither one of you had been able to look each other in the eye.
  20. >After a particularly long silence between the two of you Twilight got up, approached you, and decided to step on the sore spot in the room.
  21. >“So, I don’t know if you’ve already made plans for Nightmare Night,” she said while trying to ignore a nervous twitch that had developed in her knees.
  22. >“But I was wondering, now that you’ve had some time to think about what I said last week, if maybe you wanted to spend it with me?”
  23. >She looked at you with a nervous anticipation apparent in her eyes that made your heart as mushy as the insides of a pumpkin.
  24. >You didn’t want to break her heart but you couldn’t say yes to her.
  25. >After some awkward silence, Twilight sighed and said:
  26. >“Well, that’s okay. The only reason I asked was because I’d spent so much time working on our research, that I didn’t make any plans for Nightmare Night. But I’m sure my friends won’t mind if I join whatever they’re doing at the last minute.”
  27. >You blinked as you watched her brush the floor with her limp hoof.
  28. What’s Nightmare Night?
  29. >Twilight looked up at you. Her eyes shrunk, then widened.
  30. >“Right. I’m sorry, but I guess you wouldn’t know,” she said while turning away and folding her ears.
  31. >“Did you notice the decorations that were in town?”
  32. Well, yeah, but they looked like Halloween decorations to me.
  33. >“Halloween?” She turned back to you. “Is that a human holiday?”
  34. >You paused. Her question sparked an epiphany within you.
  35. Yeah, you said slowly. It is a human holiday, one that looks very similar to Nightmare Night too. Actually, it’s my favorite holiday.
  36. >“I don’t think we’ve ever discussed any of your past holidays. Can you tell me a little about this Halloween?”
  37. >Soon she had levitated both a scroll and quill in front of her.
  38. >“If it’s your favorite holiday, then I want to know everything.”
  39. Maybe I can tell you just a little bit.
  40. >“Then afterwards maybe we could celebrate it a little, if you want.”
  41. You don’t even know what that would entail.
  42. >“I know. But if it’s your favorite holiday, I’d hate for you to miss out on celebrating it this year. And I’d like it if you and I could share it somehow.”
  43. >Twilight lifted her scroll up to cover her cheeks, which had started burning in the following silence.
  44. How about this: I’ll tell you all about Halloween if you’ll help me celebrate it. Deal?
  45. >“Deal,” she said. “Can we start right away?”
  46. Sure. Well, Halloween is a very complex holiday.
  47. >You chuckled to yourself.
  48. In fact it’s probably the most complex of all human holidays.
  49. >She had already started writing, the scratchy sound of her quill faintly brushing against the air in the room.
  50.  
  51. >Starlight Glimmer had gone into the foyer not expecting to find anything out of the ordinary.
  52. >Instead, in the middle of the room, she was standing just above an empty metal tree stand, the base colored red and the legs dark green, that seemed like it had been forgotten by someone.
  53. >She turned and looked around the room.
  54. >“Twilight? Spike? . . . Owlowiscious . . . ?”
  55. >Just then, after she had picked up the stand with her magic with intent to inspect it, the front doors of the castle both opened and slammed against the walls.
  56. >Starlight watched uneasily as a tall pine tree, held in a purple aura, came through the doors and straight like a lance towards her.
  57. >Starlight jumped out of the way and the stand fell on its side to the floor, clanging after the echo of the doors.
  58. >She turned and, seeing that the tree was floating right where she had been, crouched down in a battle stance.
  59. >“Hi, Starlight,” she suddenly heard Twilight say.
  60. >She turned briefly towards the door to see you and Twilight standing there, watching her, before lighting up her horn and facing the tree again.
  61. >Then her face fell slack as events caught up with her, and as she watched Twilight flip the stand back on its legs and place the tree inside its base.
  62. >With a confused pout Starlight watched as you and Twilight stood back and looked proudly at the tree.
  63. Definitely found the best tree in the forest, Twilight. The Great Pumpkin will love it.
  64. >“Thanks,” Twilight said. “Should I go get the decorations now?”
  65. >Starlight gave Twilight an odd look that she did not see.
  66. Nah. How about we decorate it later. We still got to write that letter.
  67. >Twilight gasped. “I can’t believe I almost forgot. Let me go find Spike.”
  68. >She opened the doors to the throne room and began yelling her assistant’s name.
  69. >You had a very broad smile on your face when Starlight decided to approach you.
  70. >“So, what’s with the tree, and why does Twilight want to decorate it? Last time I checked, Hearth’s Warming came after Nightmare Night.”
  71. It does. This is a Halloween tree.
  72. >Starlight blinked, waiting for you to continue.
  73. It’s a Halloween tradition to put up a tree each year.
  74. >“I thought that was a Hearth’s Warming tradition.”
  75. Nope. Halloween.
  76. >“And just what is Halloween?”
  77. A human holiday. And I’m afraid I can’t give you any more spoilers other than that. Just know that Twilight and I are going to celebrate it this weekend.
  78. >“But Nightmare Night is this weekend.”
  79. Yeah, I know. But we’re going to be doing all sorts of Halloween stuff instead.
  80. >“What kind of stuff?” Starlight said slowly.
  81. >Then she raised an eyebrow at the smug smile you were wearing, and kept you suspiciously in her sights as she turned and left the room.
  82.  
  83. >“So, then what did she say?” Starlight said.
  84. >Starlight swallowed a lump in her throat while Spike sighed and shook his head.
  85. >“Well, after I’d finished writing it,” he said, “she told me that the Great Pumpkin rises out of the pumpkin patch every year and gives presents to all the good little boys and girls.”
  86. >“A great pumpkin?” Starlight said.
  87. >“The Great Pumpkin,” Spike said.
  88. >“Whatever,” Starlight said. “She didn’t sound like she actually believed it, though, right? She can’t be buying into this whole Halloween thing, right?”
  89. >“Who knows,” Spike said. “She’s so in love with him that she’d jump through hoops if he told her to.”
  90. >“I really hope that hoop jumping isn’t something that you do on Halloween.”
  91. >“I’m sure he’s going to have her do enough as it is,” Spike said. “Let’s not give him any ideas.”
  92. >Starlight and Spike thought for a moment, and then cringed at the pictures that were in their heads.
  93. >“So, are we just going to keep letting him mess with her then?” Starlight said.
  94. >“I don’t really think he’s doing her any harm,” Spike said with a shrug. “And who knows, maybe he’s not messing with her. Maybe all of this really is his tradition.”
  95. >Starlight frowned. “You don’t seriously believe that, do you?”
  96. >“Well, not really. But if it makes Twilight happy, then I guess I’ll do it.”
  97. >“Maybe you’re right,” Starlight said. “Still, we should probably keep an eye on him. I’ve got a feeling that he might be more in the spirit of Nightmare Night than he lets on, the pranking spirit to be specific.”
  98. >Twilight knocked briefly on Spike’s door before opening it.
  99. >She looked excitedly at them both.
  100. >“You guys want to come with while we go and hide chocolates all around town?” she said.
  101. >They both stared at Twilight for a while before turning their heads towards you.
  102. The chocolates make a trail that helps lead the Great Pumpkin to your house. The Great Pumpkin is the pagan god of gifting after all, and pagans love no indulgence more than chocolate.
  103. >“I thought the Great Pumpkin only gave gifts to good little boys and girls,” Starlight said.
  104. >Twilight started beaming.
  105. >“That’s what I said, too. But the Great Pumpkin focuses on children because they have yet to be corrupted by the sin of knowing. Because they still have their innocence, their goodness is purer, and as a result their gifts come free.”
  106. >“Aren’t all gifts supposed to be free, though?” Spike said. “Otherwise they wouldn’t be gifts.”
  107. Keep talking like that and the Great Pumpkin is going to snub Applejack’s pumpkin patch this year.
  108. >“You mean like he did last year, right?” Spike said.
  109. He might also decide to eat you. I can’t pretend to know all his whims.
  110. >“Come on, Spike,” Twilight said. “Come with us. It’ll be fun.”
  111. >“I think I’ll pass,” Spike said, looking at you both.
  112. >“Ditto,” Starlight said.
  113. >Twilight kept smiling but folded her ears.
  114. >“Well, we’ll be at Applejack’s if you change your mind.”
  115. >As soon as the two of you had left, Starlight and Spike turned to each other with concern.
  116.  
  117. >“A great what?” Applejack said, frowning.
  118. >“Pumpkin,” Starlight said. “A great pumpkin.”
  119. >“The Great Pumpkin,” Spike said.
  120. >“The Great Pumpkin . . .” Applejack repeated to herself.
  121. >Apple Bloom, who regarded her befuddled sister with an annoyed expression, nudged her sister’s leg with her elbow, making Applejack scrunch her muzzle.
  122. >“See?” Apple Bloom said. “I told you what I saw, and you didn’t believe me.”
  123. >“Shucks, Apple Bloom. Look, if I came to you and said that Twilight and that human were laying chocolates in our pumpkin patch as offerings for some pony called the Great Pumpkin, well what would you think?”
  124. >“I’d think that I should listen to my sister and get out there to pick up those chocolates before Winona finds them.”
  125. >“And did you pick them all up like I asked?”
  126. >“Yes,” Apple Bloom said with a sigh.
  127. >Applejack looked towards the patch.
  128. >“Then what’s Winona eating over there, then?”
  129. >Apple Bloom looked over to the spot in the pumpkin patch where Winona was bending down and then started trotting towards her.
  130. >“Shucks! Winona, spit that out. Those ain’t for you.”
  131. >Applejack, shaking her head, turned back to Spike and Starlight.
  132. >“A great pumpkin,” she said.
  133. >“The Great Pumpkin,” Spike said.
  134. >“Whatever,” Applejack said. “It’s plum foolishness is what it is, and right in my own backyard too. Just what is Twilight thinking?”
  135. >“I don’t think she is thinking,” Spike said. “She’s just going along with whatever he says.”
  136. >“And we’re worried about the lengths that she’ll go in order to give him his Halloween holiday,” Starlight said.
  137. >“Well, I can’t say that I like the idea of him making a fool of her,” Applejack said. “But let’s just hope that Twilight keeps her sense about her in all this, even if she’s doing darn silly things like putting chocolates in my . . .”
  138. >Applejack stopped, noticing suddenly that Apple Bloom was bent down in the pumpkin patch the same way Winona was earlier.
  139. >“Apple Bloom,” she yelled, “are you eating those chocolates?”
  140. >Apple Bloom raised her head up.
  141. >Her cheeks were stuffed and her mouth was sticky and when she said “Nope” brown spit dribbled down her chin.
  142. >She and Winona were quick spinning on their heels and away when Applejack began trotting over to them.
  143. >Starlight and Spike left Sweet Apple Acres and were passing by Carousel Boutique when Rarity opened the door and waved them over.
  144. >“Yoo-hoo,” she said daintily. “Spikey and Starlight, would you both come and see me a moment, please?”
  145. >“Sure, Rarity,” Spike said. “Anything for you.”
  146. >“I have a favor to ask,” Rarity said. “As I am rather busy trying to complete the last of my Nightmare Night orders, I was wondering if one of you could tell Twilight that her pumpkin costume will not be ready until the morning of Nightmare Night.”
  147. >“What pumpkin costume?” Spike said.
  148. >“Why, the one that she just came and asked me for not even five minutes ago,” Rarity said.
  149. >Then, smiling and batting her eyelashes, “And I happened to notice that she was with a certain special man that she has had her eye on. You wouldn’t happen to know what the developments would be behind such an affair, would you.”
  150. >“Unfortunately, we do,” Starlight said. “Twilight is helping him celebrate an Earth holiday of his called Halloween, but I think he’s just taking advantage of her.”
  151. >“How do you mean taking advantage?” Rarity said.
  152. >Before Starlight answered she saw that Rarity’s horn was glowing and, from behind her head, a small wrapped chocolate was floating forward, its destination being her mouth.
  153. >They both watched as Rarity unwrapped the chocolate, freeing it of its tinfoil covering, and ate it in one bite.
  154. >Her eyes went from face to face as she chewed patiently.
  155. >With a shrug, she said:
  156. >“What?”
  157. >“Rarity, you didn’t eat that off of the floor, did you?” Starlight said.
  158. >“What?” Rarity said, with her eyes wide and her ears turning back. “No, no, no. I would never do such an unclean thing as that. And besides, it’s still wrapped, so it wouldn’t even be that bad if I did, really.”
  159. >“Yeah, Starlight, Rarity wouldn’t do something like that,” Spike said. “And besides, haven’t you ever heard of the five minute rule?”
  160. >“You mean the five second rule,” Starlight said.
  161. >“No, the five minute rule,” Spike said. “After all, if you’ve already dropped your candy on the floor, it doesn’t really matter if you pick up it up right away or not because it’ll still be dirty all the same.”
  162. >“But if you pick it up quickly, you still have a chance to blow all the germs off,” Starlight said.
  163. >“Not if you grew up with Twilight you don’t,” Spike said. “That just gets you a stern look followed by a small lecture on how germs work.”
  164. >“Must we pursue this disgusting digression any further?” Rarity said. “Why did you think that I ate the chocolate off of the floor?”
  165. >“Sorry,” Spike said. “It’s just that Twilight has been going around leaving chocolates just like that on the ground.”
  166. >“She has?” Rarity said. “Why on earth is she setting out to dirty such delectable morsels?”
  167. >“It’s for a supposed Halloween tradition,” Starlight said. “The chocolates are supposed to be a trail, one for a Great Pumpkin to follow.”
  168. >“The Great Pumpkin,” Spike said.
  169. >“The great wha?” Rarity said.
  170. >They explained about Twilight’s efforts to make Halloween real, and Rarity touched her chin thoughtfully with her hoof.
  171. >“Oh dear. And I already agreed to make her that costume,” Rarity said.
  172. >“Well, you might as well make it,” Starlight said. “I’m sure having her dress up as a pumpkin isn’t the worst thing he’ll convince her to do in all this Halloween nonsense.”
  173. >Rarity sighed. “I suppose this also explains why she was so reluctant to put the chocolates that she brought for me in a bowl.”
  174. >“Technically, they were for the Great Pumpkin, not you,” Starlight said.
  175. >“Yes, well . . .” Rarity cleared her throat. “The Great Pumpkin can learn to share, I’m sure, supposing he really does give any pony presents at all.”
  176. >“Presents,” Pinkie Pie shouted as she hopped up in between Spike and Starlight, who both almost lost their balance.
  177. >“Presents on Nightmare Night?” Pinkie said. “That sounds like a cause for celebration to me. I mean, talk about your genius ideas.”
  178. >Rarity, leaning slightly forward, squinted as she scrutinized the smudges around Pinkie’s mouth.
  179. >“Pinkie Pie, have you eaten recently?” Rarity said.
  180. >Pinkie nodded and, reaching behind her, threw her bulging saddlebags before her, causing the flaps to open.
  181. >“I keep finding all these delicious chocolate candies on the ground,” Pinkie Pie said.
  182. >They could suddenly hear that she had been chewing in their company the entire time.
  183. >“You should have seen how many candies there were outside Twilight’s castle,” Pinkie Pie said. “Some pony must really like her. I gathered them all up for her, but no pony was home. So I went out looking for her, and I may have eaten a teensy-weensy bit of them myself on the way.”
  184. >They looked at Pinkie’s sheepish smile, her brown-stained teeth showing, and then noticed that her mane was glaring in their eyes at certain angles.
  185. >Rarity, shielding her eyes, took one close look at her friend’s mane, saw all the wrappers that she had stuffed in there, and shrieked.
  186. >Soon the Carousel Boutique doors had slammed closed in Starlight and Spike’s faces, leaving them alone while Rarity took care of her friend’s mane emergency.
  187. >They slowly stepped backwards until they could no longer hear Rarity screaming about tangled tinfoil knots and sticky split ends.
  188. >“So far,” Starlight said, “we’ve got a tree to decorate, a Great Pumpkin—”
  189. >“The Great Pumpkin.”
  190. >“Yeah, yeah,” Starlight said. “But all of these elements just seem random to me. Why does he suddenly want her to dress up like a pumpkin?”
  191. >“Don’t know,” Spike said. “Twilight always dresses as a historical figure for Nightmare Night, except for that one year when she dressed up as Princess Celestia.”
  192. >Starlight grinned for a moment. “Did she really?”
  193. >“I’ll have to show you the pictures sometime,” Spike said.
  194. >“It just feels like he’s setting her up,” Starlight said. “But for what?”
  195. >They walked further into town and came across Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, who stopped to say hello.
  196. >Starlight noticed that Rainbow Dash had a piece of paper in her hooves.
  197. >“This?” Rainbow Dash said. “I figured you would’ve known, but here.”
  198. >She gave it to Starlight, who took one quick look at it and said:
  199. >“Uh-oh.”
  200. >She levitated the poster to Spike, who grabbed it and audibly winced when he saw the words ‘Halloween Party’ written in purple block letters at the top.
  201. >Also on the poster was a drawing of Twilight, dressed as a pumpkin, next to a realistic drawing of you.
  202. >The poster, among other details, stated that the party was on Nightmare Night, and that everybody was encouraged to come join it.
  203. >“Who drew Twilight?” Spike asked.
  204. >Rainbow Dash’s eyes flashed to the right and Fluttershy meekly raised her hoof for a brief moment.
  205. >“And what exactly are you doing with this poster?” Spike asked Rainbow Dash.
  206. >“Twilight just asked us to make copies and put them up all over town,” Rainbow Dash said. “I don’t know what a Halloween is, but she said there was going to be cider at the party. Pretty sweet, right?”
  207. >“We were just at Sweet Apple Acres, and Applejack didn’t say anything to us about cider,” Spike said.
  208. >“Well, Granny is selling apples on Market Street, and she said that they were,” Fluttershy said.
  209. >“I’m surprised to even see you out and about, Fluttershy,” Spike said.
  210. >Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes while Fluttershy, noticing this, blushed and pinned her ears back.
  211. >“Yeah, well, don’t congratulate her or anything,” Rainbow Dash said. “She makes me go ahead of her so that I can tell her whether the decorations coming up are either kinda scary or really scary.”
  212. >“And you’re doing a great job,” Fluttershy said.
  213. >She wore a proud smile and turned towards Spike and Starlight.
  214. >“I’ve only had two panic attacks so far,” Fluttershy said, “and I’ve only had to suppress the urge to run and hide four times.”
  215. >“I don’t see why that filly dressed as a spider freaked you out,” Rainbow Dash said. “I mean, you love spiders.”
  216. >“Not on Nightmare Night, I don’t,” Fluttershy said. “I sure hope Twilight’s Halloween party isn’t scary at all.”
  217. >“That reminds me”—Rainbow Dash took the drawing out of Spike’s claws—“I should spruce up this poster a bit, draw some spooky stuff on it to make it look cooler.”
  218. >Before they could stop Rainbow Dash she had already said goodbye and was gone, leaving only a faint rainbow trail behind her.
  219. >Fluttershy looked at the spot where her friend had been and started hyperventilating.
  220. >“Wait, Rainbow Dash,” she screamed after taking off after her. “Don’t leave me here.”
  221. >“So, I guess Twilight is throwing a Halloween party for every pony,” Spike said while fiddling with his claws.
  222. >“No,” Starlight said. “I don’t think so. Come on, Spike.”
  223. >She started trotting down the street and Spike strained his legs to keep up with her.
  224. >“If Twilight wanted to celebrate Halloween with him by herself, then that’s fine,” Starlight said. “But I am not going to sit by and watch as he embarrasses her in front of the whole town.”
  225. >They went to the castle and found you and Twilight in the kitchen.
  226. >Twilight, who was looking for something in the drawers, looked over her shoulder and saw Spike and Starlight were in the doorway.
  227. >“Hey, Spike,” she said, “do you know if we have any food coloring? We’re going to need it if we want to dye eggs this weekend.”
  228. >“Twilight, we need to talk,” Starlight said. “It’s important.”
  229. >Twilight, hearing her friend’s serious tone, stopped what she was doing and turned around.
  230. >“Is something wrong?” she said.
  231. >“I want to talk to you in private for a moment,” Starlight said. “Please.”
  232. >“Well, sure,” Twilight said. “You don’t mind, right?” she said to you.
  233. >You shook your head and, leaning on the counter, watched as they went into the hall.
  234. >Starlight led Twilight and Spike into her room.
  235. >She shut the door behind them and then turned to Twilight.
  236. >“Twilight, this isn’t easy for me to say, but I don’t think you should keep helping him celebrate this Halloween holiday of his.”
  237. >“You want me to stop?” Twilight said. “Why?”
  238. >“Why?” Starlight said, nearly shouting. “Twilight, he’s making you look foolish. You’re placing chocolates all over town, putting Hearth’s Warming trees up in autumn, and writing letters to some great pumpkin character that doesn’t even exist.”
  239. >Twilight rubbed her arm with her hoof.
  240. >“Well, yes,” she said, “I’m doing those things, but that’s only because those are his old traditions. You know, not all traditions make the most sense when you think about them.”
  241. >“Yeah, sure,” Starlight said. “But now he’s got you throwing a party for every pony so that they can see these traditions you’re doing.”
  242. >“I don’t see the problem,” Twilight said. “I mean, sure, they might laugh at how different Halloween is at first, but that doesn’t mean they won’t come to like it once they give it a chance.”
  243. >“We don’t know that,” Starlight said. “Honestly, how do we know that these traditions of his are actually legitimate? Can’t you see that he’s just lying to you to see how far you’ll . . . ?”
  244. >Starlight stopped when she saw Twilight’s frown.
  245. >“But that’s just it,” Twilight said. “We don’t know if they’re legitimate, and we never will know either, because we won’t ever be able to see his home. That’s why I’m grateful that he’s letting me write his story down, preserve in words the history and way of life that was taken away from him.”
  246. >Starlight and Spike were silent.
  247. >Twilight turned her head and looked down.
  248. >“Ever since I confessed my feelings for him, things have been awkward between us. Sometimes we can’t even look each other in the eye when we’re together. I ended up becoming a questionable factor in my goal to write down his story. But even worse is that any friendship that had been growing between us over the length of our sessions has gone away now. And it’s all my fault.”
  249. >After a silent moment her ear flicked towards them and she raised her head.
  250. >“But so far, while we’ve both been working on bringing Halloween to life, things have actually been going pretty great between us. Even with all the weirdness of the holiday, nothing awkward has happened at all. I’m actually having a lot of fun doing this with him.”
  251. >Twilight paused, and Spike and Starlight looked at each other.
  252. >Starlight folded her ears. Spike was anxiously twiddling his claws.
  253. >“I guess we got so caught up in how this Halloween thing looked between you two, that we never thought to wonder how you felt about it,” Starlight said.
  254. >“I appreciate your concern for me,” Twilight said. “But celebrating Halloween is something that I want to do right now. I just hope that you’ll both be a part of it too.”
  255. >Twilight then left the room.
  256. >After a moment, without a word spoken between them, they followed.
  257. >Starlight and Spike put aside their suspicions after this and helped you and Twilight prepare for Halloween.
  258. >The ponies in town watched the castle eagerly as the weekend drew near.
  259. >Speculation as to just what Twilight’s Halloween party would be like was the talk among every pony.
  260. >All they knew was that there was to be both a pot luck and a gift exchange, and they all had their gifts wrapped and ready to bring.
  261. >On the day of Nightmare Night Twilight closed the castle so that no pony would be able to see the inside until the time of the party.
  262. >Twilight only allowed her friends to enter, as there was still much to do that morning before the party would be ready.
  263. >In town her friends could hear the murmurs of the ponies that watched them as they ran the last of their necessary errands, all of them in costume, and dropping chocolates on the ground whenever they made their way back to the castle.
  264. >By the afternoon both Spike and Starlight had retreated to Spike’s room for a break from all the party set up work.
  265. >Spike and Starlight were in costume as a hunchback and a witch respectively.
  266. >She lay down on the bed while Spike sat on the edge, rubbing the top of his claw and wincing.
  267. >“You okay, Spike?” Starlight said.
  268. >“No,” he said. “I haven’t triple checked so many items on a checklist since the time Twilight helped plan Princess Cadance’s baby shower.”
  269. >“You better hope she doesn’t have a baby shower of her own someday.”
  270. >“Don’t even joke about that,” he said. “I have nightmares just thinking about her planning a wedding one day. They’re always about me getting chased by a giant scroll that eventually eats me.”
  271. >“Yeah, well, at least we’re almost done,” Starlight said. “All the decorations are up, Applejack and Pinkie are almost finished cooking. Everything is set in place.”
  272. >“If humans actually do everything that we’re doing right now every year for Halloween, then they must all be crazy.”
  273. >“I think he and Twilight may have gone a little overboard,” Starlight said. “I’m still not sure how much of this is just him pulling a prank on Twilight, but either way this party is gonna be quite an event. Nearly every room in this castle has got something going on in it.”
  274. >“Yeah,” Spike said, “and I am not looking forward to going back out there and triple checking Twilight’s backup checklist just to make sure of that.”
  275. >Starlight thought for a moment.
  276. >“Spike, which rooms didn’t we work on?”
  277. >“Well, the library for one,” he said. “And the throne room. Twilight’s personal study was obviously off limits, way too much important stuff in there. Then there’s our rooms . . .”
  278. >Starlight sat up suddenly.
  279. >“Hey, you know how Twilight said that we could never know for sure if his traditions were all true or not?”
  280. >Spike shrugged. “Yeah, I remember.”
  281. >“Well, I think I just thought of a way we can fact check him this time.”
  282.  
  283. >The sun started dipping into the horizon and the doors to Twilight’s castle finally opened up to let the crowd of costumed ponies inside.
  284. >They went in quickly to find the foyer was lit only by candlelight.
  285. >They could faintly see that the room had been decorated for Nightmare Night, orange and black tinsel hung on the walls, fake cobwebs fogged up the corners.
  286. >But running along the walls were rows of Hearth’s Warming trees and lit pumpkins with grotesque faces carved in them.
  287. >The rows ended on the corners that led to the hall but at the end of the room, on top of a high scaffold, were you and Twilight, looking down on them all.
  288. >Twilight stood on the edge of the scaffold and, with one bright spell, turned on the lights of the room.
  289. >All eyes went up to see her in her orange felt pumpkin costume that left only her head, tail, legs and wings visible.
  290. >“Good evening, every pony,” she said. “I am the Great Pumpkin, the pagan god of gifting, and I am glad that you all have found your way to my Halloween party so that we can celebrate the lost traditions of our human friend.”
  291. >Coming around both corners of the hall were Applejack and Pinkie Pie, dressed up as a construction worker and a gummy worm respectively.
  292. >“Any pony that’s got food should come with me to the banquet hall,” Applejack said. “And Pinkie here will show any pony that’s taking part in the gift exchange where you can leave your presents.”
  293. >“Otherwise,” Twilight said, “feel free to roam my castle and partake in all the fun we have provided for you.”
  294. >The ponies all stood there until the faint sound of music began to rise in the halls thanks to Vinyl Scratch, who was in another room that was set up for dancing.
  295. >The music stirred them to move.
  296. >The crowded, murmuring ponies all stepped forward and went either to the left or right to explore the party.
  297. >Twilight’s eyes were busy watching all this while she stood absolutely still.
  298. >You looked at her.
  299. You did a nice job, Great Pumpkin. They’ll like it.
  300. >Twilight, now aware that she was being watched, sighed and forced herself to wear a thin smile.
  301. >“You think every pony will have a good time?”
  302. Well, they better. That’s all I’ll say.
  303. >“We better join them,” she said. “Help break the ice.”
  304. >A few hours later it was clear that the party was a smash and that many ponies would now consider Halloween to be their favorite unofficial holiday.
  305. >It was a smorgasbord of traditions and activities in which there seemed to be something for everyone, whether it was the relaxing turkey feast in the banquet hall, or the egg hunt to win the big chocolate pumpkin filled with honey, the traditional cider drinking contest, or any number of the booths set up so that one could have their face painted, or receive a traditional Halloween balloon animal so that they could participate in the traditional balloon animal brawl.
  306. >You and Twilight returned to the top of the scaffold.
  307. I still say you cheated in the brawl somehow.
  308. >“And just how could I have done that?” she said.
  309. You probably used your magic or something.
  310. >“You shouldn’t have chosen a giraffe to be your brawler,” Twilight said. “The alligator has a much better advantage. It can fight low and miss a lot of the higher attacks that come from the giraffe.”
  311. Yeah, but the alligator sucks.
  312. >“It does not, you sore loser.”
  313. Everybody knows that only nerds pick the alligator.
  314. >“Then I guess that all nerds are winners,” she said.
  315. >You sat down on the edge of the scaffold, your legs dangling down, and she sat next to you.
  316. >You both watched as ponies, some with their children, decorated the Hearth’s Warming trees with popcorn lines and ornaments.
  317. >Her friends were down there, decorating their own tree, when they heard a small filly that was next to them ask her mother a question.
  318. >“Why are we decorating a Hearth’s Warming tree when it’s not Hearth’s Warming?”
  319. >Before the mother could say anything, Twilight’s friends spoke up.
  320. >“Because it’s fun,” Pinkie said.
  321. >“Because it makes the trees look pretty,” Rarity said.
  322. >“And because it’s a Halloween tradition,” Applejack said.
  323. >“Not to mention that it’s awesome when you do it with your friends,” Rainbow Dash said.
  324. >“I think it’s . . . nice,” Fluttershy said. “I like Halloween so much better than Nightmare Night.”
  325. >There were not many that still questioned Halloween.
  326. >But there was a question that was on Twilight’s mind.
  327. >“Did you see Starlight or Spike anywhere when we were partying?” she said to you.
  328. No, I haven’t.
  329. >Twilight frowned. “I wonder where they could be. No pony has seen them since this afternoon.”
  330. Well, I think they might have just ditched us. I don’t think they were all too happy to be celebrating Halloween.
  331. >“Yeah, about that,” Twilight said. “They didn’t mean to upset you or anything. It’s just that they thought that you were just pulling my leg on this whole Halloween thing, seeing how far you could get away with.”
  332. So, they thought I was just fooling with you?
  333. >“That’s right,” Twilight said.
  334. Oh.
  335. >Twilight smiled and looked at you with her shrewd eyes.
  336. >“So, were you? I won’t be mad at all if you were.”
  337. You won’t?
  338. >“Nope. I had a real good time with you, and planning all this was a lot of fun.”
  339. I thought so too. I mean, I had fun doing this with you.
  340. >Twilight waited. You pursed your lips.
  341. I might have stretched the truth on Halloween just a little bit, but it wasn’t to try and make you look silly.
  342. >Twilight raised one of her eyebrows.
  343. Okay, maybe some of it was. I apologize for that.
  344. >“I forgive you,” she said. “You’ll just have to make it up to me later on.”
  345. What’d you have in mind?
  346. >“Well, since you asked.”
  347. >She smirked and looked up at you from the top of her eyes.
  348. >“How about we get together and you tell me what your holidays are really like. Deal?”
  349. Okay. Deal.
  350. >“Oh, and one more thing,” she said. “Don’t lie to me about anything else. I don’t want to have to rewrite what I record for our sessions any more than I already have to.”
  351. Sorry, Twilight. I won’t do it again.
  352. >“Promise me that you won’t,” she said, “not even on next Halloween.”
  353. I promise that I won’t lie to you again.
  354. >“Thank you.”
  355. >You looked out at the party, at the trees, the cobwebs, and, in the other rooms, you could see the turkey feast, the plastic eggs hidden in secret corners, and the costumes of every pony.
  356. Twilight, you make a really great Great Pumpkin.
  357. >“I’m glad you think so,” she said. “Because I want to know something: Is the Great Pumpkin real?”
  358. Ah. Well, that’ll be quite an explanation. But the answer is both yes and no.
  359. >“Is it really that difficult for you to just tell me straight?”
  360. Let me just say this: the Great Pumpkin never shows up on Halloween.
  361. >“Never shows up?”
  362. Yeah, that’s the joke.
  363. >“Sure. But what does that mean?”
  364. You’ll have to wait and find out.
  365. >Twilight groaned. “Fine then.”
  366. >You were silent for a moment.
  367. Tomorrow afternoon. I’ll meet up with you and tell you then. Deal?
  368. >“Okay,” she said. “Deal.”
  369. >You looked at her and she was smiling at you and, for a moment, that made you feel very happy
  370. >The music had faded away. You listened and the foyer was completely silent.
  371. >Suddenly there was no pony in the room with you and Twilight.
  372. >You strained to listen for the faint murmurs of the other ponies that were in the castle, but no sound carried from the halls.
  373. >You turned to Twilight, who was looking calmly towards the front of the foyer and seemed unaware of the sudden changes around her.
  374. >You shifted back in your seat and heard the crinkling of foil.
  375. >The same chocolates that you had Twilight place all over town were now surrounding you on the scaffold.
  376. >Then the lights in foyer cut out, leaving the room only faintly lit up by flickering candlelight.
  377. >Twilight gasped.
  378. >“What happened to the power?” she said. She raised her voice. “Is every pony okay?”
  379. >There was no answer. It was perfectly silent.
  380. >Twilight’s horn began to glow and it illuminated the area around her tense face.
  381. >Her eyes scanned the darkness around her.
  382. >“Hello?” she said loudly. “Can any pony hear me?”
  383. >It was again silent.
  384. >Your voice, when you finally spoke to Twilight, was quieter than you intended, like a whisper.
  385. They’re not in here.
  386. >Twilight’s next words chilled you with regret for speaking.
  387. >“You’re right,” she said. “You stay right where you are until I can get the power back on. I’m going to go check on our guests.”
  388. >You opened your mouth to speak but none of the embarrassing words that could have saved you came out.
  389. >Twilight was soon gone, her purple aura disappearing around a dark corridor.
  390. >Since you could not adequately see in the room, and because the scaffold was just over fifteen feet high, you did not want to use the ladder to get down.
  391. >So you waited in the cold silence, sitting perfectly still, the only sound in the room coming from the crinkling whenever you did move.
  392. >As your eyes adjusted to the light you noticed a decoration that you did not remember seeing earlier.
  393. >Hanging just over the castle doors, right in line with your eyes, was a small pumpkin with a white cape underneath it which flowed as though air was blowing on it.
  394. >It seemed to float indistinctly in the air, as though nothing was holding it up.
  395. >Right when you noticed this the pumpkin began floating towards you with the kind of light movement that pushed specks of dust forward in the air.
  396. >You watched curiously as the pumpkin stopped in the middle of the foyer, still facing you.
  397. >A grand voice came from the space ahead of you and said:
  398. >“Hello to you, my fellow Halloween celebrant. I am the Great Pumpkin.”
  399. >Its cape began flowing faster as though a fan had been placed by it.
  400. >“Tremble before my magical presence and worship me, for I have come by the trail of your chocolates to this realm so that I may bring you presents.”
  401. >By this time, after hearing this mystery pumpkin address you in such a hammy manner, and hearing the ridiculous voice which it used, you were no longer curious or confused by its sudden appearance.
  402. >It was obvious to you now that this was a prank, probably being pulled by Twilight and her friends, who were no doubt hiding somewhere in the room where you could not see them.
  403. >If you looked close enough at the cape you could actually see her purple aura twinkling a little through the fabric.
  404. Really, Twilight, this is your idea of a prank? Even after I just got done telling you that the Great Pumpkin doesn’t show up on Halloween.
  405. >“Silence, you impertinent little worm,” the pumpkin said. “You dare say that I do not exist, when here I am before you. I should eat you alive along with your chocolates for such insolence.”
  406. >Green flames rose up from the floor in two long pillars of intense heat.
  407. >They roared and blazed nearby the pumpkin, and were so bright that you had to rub your eyes before facing the sudden heat again.
  408. >But you did so with a smirk.
  409. That was a nice touch, but I’m not being fooled here, Twilight. I know for a fact that the Great Pumpkin isn’t real. So put out those flames before you set the trees on fire.
  410. >“Your bravery is impressive, but also very foolish,” the pumpkin said with a haughty laugh. “Well, let us see if my final form will convince you to finally show me your fear.”
  411. >A sound like that of a creaking tree branch ready to snap filled the room and the pumpkin began to change.
  412. >Bulbous growths seemed to be forming all over the inside of its body, pushing against the inside of its skin and forcing the pumpkin to grow in fits and starts.
  413. >It bloated up to an enormous size, big enough for you to fit inside it.
  414. >Green vines as thick as tree trunks sprouted out from its bottom, ripping up the cape as they grew larger and longer than the scaffold you were on.
  415. >A grotesque face, made up of jagged lines that ended on sharp points, etched itself onto the pumpkin.
  416. >It had piercing red eyes that looked like hell stars and when its mouth opened a slimy, organ green tongue slithered inside it behind two rows of jagged orange and yellow teeth.
  417. >As the pumpkin slowly loomed over you, eyeing you and hissing coldly, you began scooting backwards along the scaffolding.
  418. Okay, Twilight, you got me. You don’t have to take this any further.
  419. >You waited for the pumpkin to disappear and for Twilight to blink onto the scaffolding following a purple flash, a smug smile on her face from her knowing that her prank worked.
  420. >Instead the scaffolding started to creak and sway uneasily.
  421. >You crawled over to the edge and saw that the vines were growing up the scaffolding, bending and breaking whatever wood beams they were wrapping themselves around.
  422. >You turned in time to see the pumpkin’s boa constrictor tongue heading straight for you, but a bright purple beam shot in front of it.
  423. >Your eyes followed the beam to find Twilight flying in the hall with a fierce look on her face.
  424. Twilight? What the hell is going on?
  425. >“It’s the Great Pumpkin,” she said. “It’s alive somehow. It ate every pony that was here and now it’s coming for us too.”
  426. >You turned and looked at the Great Pumpkin, its hell red eyes trained on you and its hissing tongue sliding out of its mouth; and you screamed.
  427. Twilight, get me the hell out of here.
  428. >“I’m coming. Hold on.”
  429. >But just then a terrible feeling rose inside you when she flew towards you.
  430. >Before you could tell her to stop a mass of vines reached up and wrapped themselves all around her.
  431. >They completely engulfed her body and then tightened in a knot around her until you heard a sick crunch.
  432. >Then you watched in horror as they dragged her down.
  433. >When she had gone under you felt the Great Pumpkin’s tongue wrap itself around your legs like a big cold wet snake.
  434. >You grabbed the edge of the scaffold and tried to hold on but the pumpkin was too strong.
  435. >Your fingers gave and you were dragged until you fell off the scaffold, held upside down only by the pumpkin’s tongue.
  436. >The Great Pumpkin carried you up to its face with its lizard tongue and you winced as you were forced to face its glowing eyes.
  437. >“Tell me,” said the pumpkin, “do I exist now? Do you fear me now? Would you have never mentioned my name had you known that I would really come?”
  438. >You were so scared that you could not answer.
  439. >The Great Pumpkin did not wait for you and its mouth moved forward slowly to take you in.
  440. >You shut your eyes tight.
  441. >But nothing happened.
  442. >Your trembling slowly subsided as the sounds and the sensations of the room began to suddenly change.
  443. >The lights had come back on, the fire had gone, and the Great Pumpkin had stopped hissing at you.
  444. >In fact its teeth had turned into candy corn and it actually seemed to be smiling at you.
  445. >Then a smirking, vaguely familiar voice said to you:
  446. >“So, you just decided to give up then. You know, to be honest, if you had started in on me about how the magic of friendship could somehow reform me, I might’ve just let you believe that you had won.”
  447. >You opened your eyes to see that, rather than bright red, the Great Pumpkin’s eyes were now yellow with red irises.
  448. >“Have you calmed down yet, or do you need a chocolate?”
  449. >After a long moment of trying to regain your faculties, a moment in which you swore you heard the Great Pumpkin sigh under its breath, you managed a response:
  450. What?
  451. >“Yeah, I guess you do need a chocolate. Here.”
  452. >A yellow birdlike claw grew out of the tongue and shoved one of your chocolates in your mouth before disappearing.
  453. >For some reason the claw had not unwrapped the foil first, so the chocolate just sat like a lump in your mouth.
  454. >Then the vines slowly retracted back into the pumpkin, causing it to bloat up again and then pop like a balloon.
  455. >It was not a tongue that you were wrapped in but rather it was Discord’s tail, and he was raising one eyebrow at you and smiling.
  456. >Then he leaned his head back and said:
  457. >“Fluttershy, am I allowed to laugh yet or would you scold me for it?”
  458. >Suddenly Twilight flew up to Discord.
  459. >Your mouth was slightly open at seeing her as she had been crushed to death in front of you just a second ago.
  460. >The chocolate rolled out your mouth and, after hitting your nose, fell to the floor.
  461. >Twilight—even her pumpkin costume was still fine—glared at Discord and pointed her hoof in his face.
  462. >“Fluttershy’s not here,” she said. “She ran out the door in tears when you started going way overboard on our Great Pumpkin prank.”
  463. >“Poor Fluttershy,” Discord said. “Still, you said to make him believe the Great Pumpkin was real. You didn’t say how I had to do it.”
  464. >“Well sending over half my party to the edge of the Everfree Forest against their will with one snap, as well as scaring one of my friends to death, and not to mention almost breaking my neck with those vines—did you really think that that was the way to do it?”
  465. >Discord shrugged while Twilight blew hot air out of her nose.
  466. >You cleared your throat.
  467. Can one of you put me down now?
  468. >Discord made out to snap his claws but Twilight said:
  469. >“No. You fly him down.”
  470. >Discord pouted. “But that’ll take forever.”
  471. >“Do it now, Discord.”
  472. >“Fine.”
  473. >Soon you were back on the floor and reorienting yourself, holding your head in your hands and trying to steady your legs.
  474. >Twilight’s friends, including Spike and Starlight, all moved on you with concerned looks and Twilight flew down and landed in front of you.
  475. >“Are you okay?” she said. “Do you need help?”
  476. >You held out a hand effectively telling her to stop.
  477. >After a moment you looked down on Twilight, who was folding her ears back.
  478. So, all of that horror was just part of some prank?
  479. >“I’m really sorry,” she said. “I never meant for it to go so far.”
  480. Why did you do this, though?
  481. >Twilight turned to an equally guilty looking Starlight.
  482. >“I wanted to see if all of your Halloween traditions really belonged just to Halloween,” Starlight said. “So I got the idea to write to Sunset Shimmer in Twilight’s magic journal, to see if they celebrated Halloween in their world. Turns out that they did.”
  483. >“She echoed a lot of your first statements about Halloween, about how it was like Nightmare Night,” Twilight said. “But she’d never heard of the Great Pumpkin, or of putting up trees, or any of some of the more questionable things you said that people did on Halloween.”
  484. >You pursed your lips upon hearing this.
  485. >Canterlot High is only aesthetically similar to Earth, but it looks like that was exactly what did you in this time.
  486. I guess I’m fine with you wanting to prank me for finding out I was lying. But did you have to give me a heart attack the way you did?
  487. >Twilight smiled sheepishly. “That was completely my bad. I see now that I shouldn’t’ve trusted Discord not to go too far with the prank.”
  488. >“Excuse me, princess of friendship, but I happen to be in the room at the moment,” Discord said.
  489. >“Fluttershy is so going to hang you out to dry later,” Starlight said.
  490. >“Well, probably not until tomorrow,” Spike said. “Definitely not until Halloween is over.”
  491. >Discord huffed and crossed his arms. “Whatever. I’m still getting paid, right?”
  492. Twilight, you paid him to do this?
  493. >“Well, kind of,” she said.
  494. >Twilight’s horn lit up and out of thin air, floating next to her head, appeared a photograph which depicted Twilight as a filly, dressed up as Princess Celestia.
  495. >Discord quickly flew down, snatched it with his claws, and took one look at it before bursting out in laughter.
  496. >The picture floated around her friends, who all cooed and giggled at it while Twilight blushed with her head held down.
  497. >“Okay, enough,” Twilight said. “Yes, it’s very cute. Now stop looking.”
  498. >“Like teacher like student,” Discord said. “I can see the resemblance perfectly.”
  499. >He showed you the picture, which was now moving and depicted Twilight running up to a door and telling the stallion that answered it:
  500. >“Please may I have some candy for me and my sister, who couldn’t be here because she’s on the moon.”
  501. >“You can’t write this kind of gold,” Discord said, still laughing.
  502. >“You still have to apologize,” Twilight said to him.
  503. >“What? Apologize for partaking in the most fun that I’ve had in years?”
  504. >Twilight’s answer was her unflinching firm stare.
  505. >Discord sighed and turned to you.
  506. >“I’m super sorry that I turned into a pumpkin character you made up and then tried to eat you.”
  507. >He turned to Twilight and rolled his eyes. “There. Are you happy now, princess?”
  508. >Twilight, Starlight and Spike all turned to you.
  509. Look, I’ll forgive you all, I guess. But just stay away from me for a while, at least for tonight. Okay?
  510. >“Sure,” Twilight said. “I understand why you’d want me to stay away.”
  511. >“Yeah, me too,” Starlight said.
  512. >“Ditto,” Spike said.
  513. I think I’m going to go home now. I’ll be by tomorrow to help clean up.
  514. >“So will I,” Discord said. “Fluttershy will probably make me.”
  515. >As you started for the doors they suddenly opened at full force, both of them slamming against the wall, making everybody jump.
  516. >You all stood agape as Princess Luna, dressed in the exact same pumpkin costume as Twilight, raised one arm and announced in her Royal Canterlot Voice:
  517. >“Greetings, fellow partygoers, your princess of the night is here, dressed in traditional Halloween garb, and is ready to get her groove on and eat fresh chocolates . . .”
  518. >In the following silence Princess Luna’s smile wilted.
  519. >Her anxious eyes scanned the blank faces of everyone that was staring her way.
  520. >She slowly brought her arm down and, after a forced cough, said:
  521. >“So, why are we not partying at this moment? Am I late?”
  522. >The only voice that answered her said:
  523. >“Please may I have some candy for me and my sister, who couldn’t be here because she’s on the moon.”
  524.  
  525.  
  526.  
  527. [c2]
  528.  
  529.  
  530. >You may have lived alone, but you were not surprised when you came downstairs and saw that Pinkie Pie was lying on your couch.
  531. >You were more surprised by all the decorations that had been put up during the night while you slept.
  532. >The living room was fully decorated for Nightmare Night.
  533. >Rubber bats hung from the ceiling, fake cobwebs were wrapped around the furniture, ghost and monster decals had been put up on the walls, and there was even a lit smiling jack o lantern on the coffee table next to Pinkie.
  534. >Pinkie sat up and then jumped off of the couch when she heard you step into the room.
  535. >She bounced in place as you stood and took in your new living room décor.
  536. >“Do you like it?” she said. “Huh? Huh? Huh?”
  537. >You sighed.
  538. So, you broke into my house while I was sleeping.
  539. >She smiled.
  540. Again.
  541. >“Yeah, yeah,” she said. “That’s nothing new. And I always put a pot of coffee on, don’t I?”
  542. >You shrugged.
  543. >“But what about your surprise?” she said, gesturing to the decorations. “You like?”
  544. It’s very festive, I guess.
  545. >Your lack of enthusiasm made Pinkie’s smile wither.
  546. >“Well, that’s okay,” she said. “Decorations aren’t the only thing that makes Nightmare Night a super holiday to spend time with some pony on. Some pony special . . .”
  547. >She was raising her eyebrows up and down at you.
  548. >It was only the first of the month and Nightmare Night was thirty days away, but it didn’t surprise you to find out that Pinkie was the kind of girl that puts her Christmas decorations up after Thanksgiving.
  549. >It did make you feel tired, though.
  550. I need a drink.
  551. >You went to the kitchen to get yourself a cup of coffee.
  552. >When you opened the fridge you frowned.
  553. >Pinkie had filled it full of bowls of cold pasta and peeled grapes, and had put labels on them that said ‘Worms’ and ‘Eyeballs’.
  554. >You took the bowls out so you could get at the milk, but the milk had been ruined.
  555. >Sometime during the night your milk had turned orange.
  556. Pinkie, what did I tell you about playing with the food dye?
  557. >“Not to do it,” she said.
  558. >You pulled the milk out and showed it to her.
  559. And what is this?
  560. >She shrugged her shoulders. “Wasn’t me. You should check the label.”
  561. >You turned the milk around to find a label that read ‘Pumpkin Milk’.
  562. >You frowned at Pinkie, who was smiling, her tongue sticking out the side of her mouth.
  563. Yeah, you’re going to go and buy me some new milk.
  564. >“Okay,” she said.
  565. >She jumped out of the room. You shouted:
  566. And don’t get me any more pumpkin milk.
  567. >“Okay,” she shouted back before shutting the door.
  568. I really shouldn’t have to specify something like that, but I do.
  569. >Pinkie came back after a while with regular milk, and with a couple of green bottles which had a red apple painted on the label.
  570. >“I brought you some of Applejack’s yummy cider,” she said. “They started selling it yesterday. I tried to wake you up so we could be first in line together, but you slept like a log.”
  571. >No you didn’t.
  572. >You just pretended to be asleep when she showed up at five a.m. and spent over an hour trying to wake you up by yelling and pushing you in your bed, making you roll from one side to the other.
  573. >“I got you some, though,” Pinkie said while holding up the bottles for you to see. “I wouldn’t want you to miss out on your first cider season.”
  574. Thanks.
  575. >There was a moment of silence that was interrupted by Pinkie sliding one of the bottles across the table.
  576. >It stopped right in front of you, and you noticed that she kept one for herself.
  577. >“What do you say we crack open these bad boys now?” she said.
  578. You know, I’m not really in the mood for cider right now. I think I’ll have mine sometime later.
  579. >“Oh, okay,” she said.
  580. You can keep that one for yourself, if you like.
  581. >“No thanks. I got it for you so that . . .”
  582. >She didn’t finish.
  583. >She put the milk and cider bottles away in your fridge.
  584. >But she didn’t leave afterwards, of course.
  585. >“Maybe you’ll have some cider this weekend?” she said. “That’s when I’m throwing my Cider Season Shindig Social. I’d love it if you could be there.”
  586. I don’t know, Pinkie.
  587. >“You don’t have to answer right away. In fact, you don’t have to answer at all. You can just show up if you feel like. How’s that?”
  588. That suits me.
  589. >It was quiet for a while after that.
  590. >Then, as you were pouring yourself some cereal, a bunch of plastic spider rings helped fill your bowl and she started giggling right away.
  591. >“Looks like you got some prizes,” she said.
  592. >You sighed and started picking the spiders out, after putting a few of the rings on.
  593. So, what, are these your ideas of pulling pranks or something, filling my cereal with crap and turning my milk orange?
  594. >“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said. “It’s not on me if you just happen to be checking some hot pink mare out while you’re grocery shopping, and you accidently end up buying spider cereal and pumpkin milk.”
  595. You follow me when I’m grocery shopping too?
  596. >“Nope,” she said. “We just happen to shop at the same time, on the same day . . . a lot.”
  597. Yeah, yeah.
  598. >You got up and went to the cabinet for some sugar and noticed that Pinkie had taped the door shut with some clear tape.
  599. >As you ripped the tape off the door opened on its own and a spooky clown puppet sprung into your face.
  600. >You left it there, grabbed the sugar and then went back to the table.
  601. >The puppet slid out of the cabinet and fell onto the counter.
  602. >“You didn’t like that one either, huh?” Pinkie said.
  603. No. These pranks are pretty weak sauce, Pinkie.
  604. >“Well, they’re just supposed to be funny is all. Don’t you like to laugh?”
  605. Pinkie, it’s the season of Nightmare Night. The bar has been raised pretty high here, and your silly kid pranks aren’t going to impress me.
  606. >“Have you ever pulled any pranks before?”
  607. >You stopped short of taking a drink of coffee and set the mug down slowly.
  608. Girl, you don’t even know. I was the prank master back on Earth.
  609. >Pinkie gasped. “Really? Tell me some of them.”
  610. Well, I pulled a lot of the standard pranks when I was in school, like replacing my teacher’s dry erase markers with permanent ones, loosened bolts on the bottom of desks, hid cartons of milk in the hallway where they wouldn’t be found until they spoiled. I even let some live pigs loose in my school once. They broke into the biology classroom and ate all the frogs that we were going to dissect that semester.
  611. >“Ew,” Pinkie said, smiling and wrinkling her nose.
  612. >Then she laughed and so did you, and she said:
  613. >“Tell me more.”
  614. My favorite prank was one that I pulled outside of school. I used to deliver pizzas and I had this really unbearable guy for a boss. So as a little payback for all that I had to put up with from him, I decided that I was going to crash his latest wedding in the only way that was really right. I called every pizza place in my town and sent them to the chapel where he was getting hitched. Blocked up the traffic on that street for hours, and I heard he got arrested after assaulting one of the delivery boys.
  615. >“That’s quite a prank, I guess,” Pinkie said. “Did he think it was funny?”
  616. I don’t know, Pinkie. The guy was a jerk. He deserved it.
  617. >“Well, it sounds like you have pulled your fair share of pranks.”
  618. You know it.
  619. >“How come you never told me that you were the prank master?”
  620. I don’t know. We don’t really talk all that much, Pinkie. You just kind of stalk me all the time.
  621. >Pinkie just shrugged.
  622. And besides, it isn’t really something that I do too much anymore. I kind of lost interest in it.
  623. >Pinkie suddenly gasped again.
  624. >“Hey, you should come out with me and Rainbow Dash sometime. We could have loads of fun. I remember this one time when—”
  625. Yeah, no offense or anything, but I think I’d have to pass on that offer.
  626. >“But I didn’t even tell you the story. It’s really fun—”
  627. I’m not interested. It’s probably about some time when you put a bucket of water over an open door, right?
  628. >“What? No, it isn’t. Rainbow Dash made these cookies, and—”
  629. They turned some poor schmuck’s tongue a funny color. Heard it.
  630. >“No,” Pinkie said. “They turned the whole town into zombie ponies.”
  631. >You stared at Pinkie’s serious expression and slowly swallowed the drink of coffee that was in your mouth.
  632. Zombie ponies?
  633. >“Yep.”
  634. The whole town?
  635. >“Yeah,” she said. “Listen.”
  636. >Pinkie then told you the story of how, to teach Rainbow Dash a lesson, she got the whole town to act like zombies and chase Rainbow Dash, who was running for her life because she believed them.
  637. >Pinkie got them to spend, not just an hour or so, but an entire day doing this to her friend too.
  638. >She came to the end of her monologue.
  639. >“. . . And boy, let me tell you, she sure toned it down after that.”
  640. >Pinkie Pie laughed.
  641. >“She thought it was so awesome afterwards. We still talk about it sometimes and laugh.”
  642. >Pinkie started convulsing in laughter so hard that she fell forward on the table and started banging on it with her hoof.
  643. >Your coffee cup fell over and spilled all over your pants.
  644. >You didn’t care.
  645. >You were too stunned by what this insane pink pony just told you to pay any mind to other sensations that were not a manifestation of your immense and burgeoning fear of her.
  646. >The title of prank master may have been yours, but this was a whole different level, an entirely different game altogether, the single greatest prank you had ever heard of that had actually been done.
  647. >Pinkie calmed down and looked up at your tense face while wiping her eyes free from tears of laughter.
  648. >“How come you’re not laughing? Wasn’t it funny?”
  649. Get out.
  650. >“What? Why?”
  651. >You got up, picked her up off of the chair, carried her wiggly body to the front door, and then threw her out before slamming the door shut.
  652. >From behind the door, she said:
  653. >“Did you even at least think that it was funny?”
  654. >You went back and locked the door.
  655. >Then you went up to your room, shut off all the lights, and sat on the floor in the fetal position in a futile attempt to find some comfort for your shattered soul.
  656. >After a while your alarm clock suddenly went off, and it played a recording of Pinkie’s voice saying:
  657. >“Ha, ha! I bet I spooked ya, huh? You totally weren’t expecting ol’ Pinkie clock to go off, were you? Don’t worry. You don’t have to go work today, because this is just a prank. Ha, ha! I pranked you good. I’m the Pinkie-rific prankster Pie, and I bet you’re laughing so hard right—”
  658. >You sprang across the room and, raising the clock over your head with both hands, threw it down onto the floor.
  659. >Then you stomped on all the plastic pieces until they were as thin and jagged as shards of glass.
  660. >It was in that moment that you realized that you could never, ever let Pinkie prank you as badly as she did to humiliate Rainbow Dash.
  661. >She already makes you look foolish enough, the way she fawns over you all the time, coming to your house uninvited even though she knows she is not wanted, countering anything negative that you say towards her with quips and cheap sentiments.
  662. >Now that she knows you were the former prank master, you could never live it down if she ever decided to get the better of you.
  663. >You prayed that all of your future problems with Pinkie could be just as easily smashed as your alarm clock.
  664. >Not even four hours later there was a knock at your door.
  665. >A brown pizza delivery stallion was at your door.
  666. >He impolitely looked you up and down while his mouth hung open.
  667. Can I help you with something?
  668. >“I’ve got your pizza.”
  669. I didn’t order any pizza.
  670. >He blinked at you.
  671. >“This is the address, though. So, that’ll be twenty bits, plus the delivery fee, and there’s an added gratuity—but you can have that taken off.”
  672. Take the whole thing off.
  673. >“Um, okay.”
  674. >He held the pizza out to you, then stared at you like he was annoyed when you didn’t take it.
  675. >“Um . . . can you hold this for a sec so that I can write off my gratuity?”
  676. That’s not what I meant. I didn’t order this pizza. You got scammed, dude.
  677. >“What do you mean?”
  678. I mean that somebody must have ordered this pizza and given you my address.
  679. >He scrunched his nose, thinking hard. Then, nodding, he said to you:
  680. >“So, you ordered it and gave me your address.”
  681. No, I didn’t order it. Somebody else ordered it—not me—and then gave you my address.
  682. >He started nodding slowly again.
  683. >“But you’re still going to pay for this pizza, right?”
  684. I didn’t order this stupid pizza, man. I’ve said that, like, four times now. What’s wrong with you?
  685. >“Sorry,” he said while folding his ears. “This is actually my first day on the job, and I don’t entirely know what I’m doing.”
  686. Okay . . .
  687. >“Look, if you’re not going to pay for the pizza, can you at least come back with me and tell my boss why?”
  688. What? Just tell him that I didn’t order the pizza.
  689. >“But this is your address.”
  690. Tell him that you got scammed.
  691. >“I don’t know. What if he doesn’t believe me?”
  692. Why wouldn’t he believe you? Look, this happens sometimes. Your boss will understand.
  693. >“I don’t know. What if he doesn’t, though?”
  694. >Before you could answer the stallion’s eyes shrunk and he started to breathe heavily.
  695. >“This is also my first delivery of my first day. If I take this pizza back to my boss, then I’ll have failed my first delivery on my first day of my first job. I’ll have made a bad first impression, and I don’t think I can handle every pony knowing that.”
  696. >The stallion’s legs were trembling now, and while you did sort of feel bad for him, there were stronger feelings inside that were trying to persuade you to dropkick the pizza before putting him in a headlock.
  697. >You had to bow out before things turned out regretfully for all.
  698. Look, I’m sorry that all this happened, and I understand how you feel. But I didn’t order this pizza, and I’m not going to pay for it either. So, you’re going to have to figure it out from there.
  699. >Right when you were about leave the stallion alone with whatever deep thoughts he was surely having, Pinkie Pie appeared on the scene.
  700. Oh no.
  701. >“Hey, looks like you ordered some pizza,” Pinkie said. “That’s great because I’m super hungry.”
  702. >“No, he says he didn’t order the pizza,” the stallion said.
  703. I didn’t. I know for a fact that it was her now.
  704. >“No way,” Pinkie said. “I just happened to be walking down the street when I saw—”
  705. Yeah, I’m sure you did.
  706. >“Can some pony please tell me what I’m supposed to do with this pizza?” the stallion said.
  707. >“Oh, I’ll get that,” Pinkie said. She looked at you. “It’ll be my treat this time. Okay?”
  708. Whatever. You ordered the damn thing.
  709. >Pinkie Pie paid the stallion, who sighed with relief.
  710. >“Thank Celestia,” he said. “I knew this was the right address after all.”
  711. >As he left you wondered if all delivery ponies were as stupid as him.
  712. >It seemed to be a definite possibility considering that your mail mare has crashed and gotten some part of her stuck in her mailbox four different times.
  713. That whole exchange was needlessly stressful.
  714. >“Well, it is his first day on the job.”
  715. Don’t ever put me in a situation like that again.
  716. >“I didn’t, though,” Pinkie said. “My being here is just a funny coincidence.”
  717. No, it was you setting me up, and it was annoying.
  718. >“Think of it this way. If I had set all this up—which I didn’t—it wouldn’t be as funny as if I hadn’t set this up, because I kept pranking you this morning, and we talked all about pranks for a while too, so that’s why it would be funnier if I hadn’t set this up. So, I didn’t.”
  719. Yeah, you did.
  720. >“Aw. Well, cheer up,” Pinkie said. “Why not have some pizza with me?”
  721. With you? I don’t think so.
  722. >But, figuring that you might as well get something out of all this, you ripped the pizza out from her hooves and then slammed the door.
  723. >“Hey,” Pinkie said while knocking on the door, “get back here with that.”
  724. >You wondered why she didn’t just break in somehow, like she always does.
  725. >But you didn’t care at that moment.
  726. >The pizza box was warm in your hands and the rising heat smelled really good.
  727. >“Stop being a meanie,” Pinkie said. “Come back and let’s share that barbeque hay and pineapple pizza.”
  728. >You opened the nearest window and threw the pizza out of it.
  729. >Pinkie Pie left you alone for a while after that and a few days later you went to Carousel Boutique to see about an order.
  730. >“Your formal ensemble is not ready yet, I’m afraid,” Rarity said. “But when it is ready, I assure you that you will look absolutely gorgeous in it.”
  731. Well, on certain occasions, anyway.
  732. >“I’m sure a certain friend of ours would do good not to miss such occasions,” Rarity said. “How have things been going with your admirer lately?”
  733. Lately? Better. I haven’t seen her since a few days ago when I almost hit her with a pizza.
  734. >“Lovely,” Rarity said. “It’s such an odd romance that the two of you have.”
  735. And one-sided too.
  736. >“I don’t know why you’re always so dour about it,” Rarity said. “She likes you an awful lot. Don’t you feel anything special towards her?”
  737. Not particularly. If you think she’s so special, then why don’t you ask her to decorate your living room without your permission, and while you’re asleep?
  738. >Rarity was silent for a moment.
  739. >“Her whims may be questionable, but her motives are noble. She just wants you to see you smile, and for you to be happy to see her for a change. She just wants you to like her as much as she likes you.”
  740. Well, you can’t always get what you want.
  741. >You made to leave pretty quickly after that as it seemed like Rarity was going to start giving you the silent treatment.
  742. >The fading glow of autumn’s early sunset made indistinct the ponies in the street that were returning home from work with sluggish steps.
  743. >When you got home you pushed the door open slowly, half expecting Pinkie to already be inside, waiting for you on the couch.
  744. >But the living room was quiet.
  745. >All the decorations she put up were shaded and colorless from the evening’s coming darkness.
  746. >The candle that had been in the jack o lantern had burned out long ago and the pumpkin was sinking in on itself from its exposed and rotted top.
  747. >You ate some cereal, being careful to pick the spiders out first.
  748. >Then you spent the rest of the evening half-heartedly reading an adventure novel Twilight had recommended to you, stopping often to pace from room to room singing to yourself.
  749. >Every time you saw something strange and bright and colorful hung up in the house you thought of her.
  750. >You really don’t know why Pinkie likes you. It’s not like you deserve it or anything.
  751. >She just kept up bothering you after she welcomed you to Ponyville and hasn’t stopped since.
  752. >You never set yourself apart in her eyes from any of her other friends in any way that you could see.
  753. >You usually aren’t even friendly towards her, and yet she has never stopped in her efforts to get your attention.
  754. >When you finally felt tired and went upstairs to retire, you noticed for the first time that one of the doors in the hall had been left open.
  755. >You headed left rather than right.
  756. >It was the door to your guest bedroom, which hadn’t been opened since you could last remember.
  757. >You peered in through the dark crack the door made, straining your ears to listen for any faint giggling.
  758. >You looked up and saw that a bucket was resting on top of the door.
  759. >You called her name out in the darkness and your voice met the silence of the room.
  760. >After you had taken the bucket down you felt a shiver run up along the nerves of your back and you stared at the bucket in your hands for a long time.
  761. >You went downstairs the next morning and Pinkie was there in the kitchen.
  762. >She was sitting and wearing a big smile on her face, with the bucket from last night resting next to her on the table.
  763. >“So, did you like my little surprise that you found last night?”
  764. It wasn’t a surprise, Pinkie.
  765. >“It wasn’t?”
  766. >You did not answer at first but instead went to the cupboard, grabbed a bowl and your box of spider cereal, and then sat at the table with her.
  767. >She was frowning, her noise pointed down in the bucket and her ears wilting down.
  768. >“So, you weren’t surprised?”
  769. Nope. Saw it coming a mile away.
  770. >“I guess you didn’t laugh either then.”
  771. No.
  772. >She looked at you from under her brow, giving you pause.
  773. Sorry, Pinkie.
  774. >“Oh, it’s okay,” she said.
  775. >Her body fell limply forward until her face had gone completely in the bucket before her.
  776. >With a bit of echo, she said, “But what happened to the glitter I put in here?”
  777. I threw it away, of course.
  778. >You poured a small handful of cereal in the bowl before noticing that the grains seemed to be shining up in your eyes.
  779. >With a moment’s hesitation, you turned towards Pinkie, who had raised her head out from the bucket.
  780. >Her smile was small and her eyes were cautious.
  781. >You took a disappointed tone and said:
  782. Really, Pinkie?
  783. >“You know what, why don’t I just go and get you some new cereal? Okay?”
  784. >It was silent and you dropped your spoon so that it clattered against the bowl.
  785. >Pinkie pushed her chair back and in a moment had walked out.
  786. >As soon as you heard the front door shut you got up and tossed the cereal away where it nearly knocked the can over after leaving your hand.
  787. >A moment later, from outside, there was sound like that of a tree branch falling on top of a tin roof, crushing it and damaging it irreparably.
  788. >You knew then that the mail was here.
  789. >Derpy had somehow wrapped your mailbox around her barrel again, and your mailbox now dipped forward at an angle of about forty-five degrees.
  790. >She looked up at you when your shadow had loomed over her and you took the letters that she held in her mouth.
  791. >You left her to her wriggling and grunting and, after flipping through a small collection of impersonal bills and adverts, came upon a telegram from Rarity, which read:
  792. >“Your suit is ready darling please come at twelve to pick it up Rarity”
  793. >When you had reached the door you heard Pinkie’s voice coming up from behind you.
  794. >“Hi, Derpy,” Pinkie said. “Do you want some butter?”
  795. >“That’s just what I need,” Derpy said.
  796. >Pinkie reached into her grocery bag and placed the stick of butter in Derpy’s hooves.
  797. >“Thank you, Pinkie.”
  798. >“No problem,” Pinkie said. “But you really have to start carrying your own from now on. Okay?”
  799. >“I just don’t know what went wrong,” Derpy said.
  800. >Pinkie did not leave after brining you the cereal, of course.
  801. >She was sitting at the kitchen table while you were at the sink, trying to wash off the glitter that had stuck to the bowl.
  802. >“So,” Pinkie said, “what are we doing today?”
  803. You mean what am I doing today.
  804. >“Same thing, practically,” Pinkie said. “Besides, it’s more fun with two.”
  805. Well, I don’t have any plans. I probably won’t even leave the house.
  806. >You could hear the chair scarping against the floor with Pinkie abruptly rising in her seat.
  807. >“No plans at all?” she said. “But it’s Saturday, you know, the weekend. You can’t just stay in the house all day.”
  808. I’ve done it before.
  809. >“But where’s the fun in that?” she said. “Look, I have to help the Cakes until this evening, but how about later I come over and we can play some games together.”
  810. You do not have my permission to do anything of the sort.
  811. >“Then I guess we’ll just have to be bad together.”
  812. >No matter how much you seemed to scrape at the bowl with your nails the stray bits of glitter that were sticking to the inside just were not coming off.
  813. >When your fingers began to prune you sighed and placed the bowl down.
  814. You know what. I don’t even want cereal anymore.
  815. >After filling the bowl with water you got a granola bar and sat down with Pinkie.
  816. >“So, have you thought at all about my Cider Season Shindig Social?” Pinkie said.
  817. No, I haven’t. Because you told me I could just show up if I wanted to, and that you weren’t going to bother me about it.
  818. >“I know,” Pinkie said. “But it’s just that, it’d be more fun if we went together, and I was hoping that you’d have an answer today, because I really want you to come.”
  819. >You knew that she was not innocent, that she wanted you there only for entirely selfish reasons considering her own feelings.
  820. >But her pinned ears, small smile and hopeful eyes made it hard for you to simply ignore the side of her which pleaded for your affection.
  821. I’ll think about it.
  822. >“You will!” she said, rising up from her chair again.
  823. >She then leaped across the table and wrapped her arms around your neck for a hug, which made the back of your head awkwardly press against your shoulder blades.
  824. >“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!” she said. “You won’t regret it. We are going to have so much fun that . . .”
  825. Pinkie, I didn’t even say yes. Let go. Pinkie!
  826. >She let go of you and jumped down to the floor.
  827. >She was jumping up and down while you gasped for breath and made sure that you were not choking on any of the granola that had been in your mouth earlier.
  828. >“Sorry,” Pinkie said with a smile. “But I’m just so super excited and—oh my gosh.”
  829. >She lifted her arm and pretended to look at a wristwatch that did not exist.
  830. >“I got to go. I’m really late, and there’s so much that I have to do today.”
  831. >She ran out from the kitchen, saying, “I’ll see you later.”
  832. >You barely managed a response by the time she slammed the door behind her.
  833. >After taking a moment to go over such recent manic events, you shrugged and finished your granola bar.
  834. >Compared to how you had seen her that morning, you were at least glad to see that she was back to her old, hyperactive self again, even if that meant more trouble for you.
  835. >After finally getting the last of the glitter out of your bowl, you spent the three hours until having to go to Carousel Boutique by rereading certain passages of Twilight’s recommended adventure novel, seeing if you liked them any better after a second chance.
  836. >You grew bored and tired after an hour of that and tried to take a nap, but you could not sleep.
  837. >Then, after eating a second granola bar, it was finally time for you to go see Rarity.
  838. >When you arrived at Carousel Boutique you noticed that there were absolutely no ponies in the store, none looking at Rarity’s discount racks, placing or picking up an order, discussing the latest design trends with Rarity.
  839. >The front of the store was completely bare and silent, save for the front bell which followed your entrance and Rarity’ light trill of “Coming, darling.”
  840. >When Rarity entered she did so wearing a green dress, a pearl necklace, and with her mane done up in a bun.
  841. Wow, you look nice, Rarity. What’s the occasion?
  842. >“Oh, thank you,” she said. “I’ve actually closed the shop so I can host a special event this afternoon. Didn’t you see the sign out front?”
  843. >You said that you did not and asked if you were intruding on her special event.
  844. >“No, not at all,” she said. “You’re right on time to pick up your suit. But I want to see you wear it before you leave so I can make sure that it fits. Please follow me.”
  845. >She led you back into a large room where there was a stage and a runway set up.
  846. >Soft blue and white sashes hung from the ceiling over the stage and small bouquets of pink roses and white daffodils lined the runway.
  847. >A pipe organ stood in the far corner of the room and six seats had been placed so that they faced the stage.
  848. You’re not going to have me walk the runway, are you?
  849. >“Goodness no,” she said. “Some pony else will be doing that. Your destination is over there.”
  850. >She pointed to a different corner of the room where a small dressing curtain had been set up.
  851. >“Go on, darling, so that I may get along with my event,” she said. “You’ll find that your suit is already in there waiting for you.”
  852. >You went behind the curtain and found your black suit to be neatly folded on a small chair.
  853. >Just when you started to undress you heard some stray keys being fumbled with on the organ, producing a random melody of notes.
  854. >After a moment the room was silent again and, just as you were finishing getting dressed, Rarity said:
  855. >“Are you almost done in there? We need you on stage now.”
  856. >You smiled at her joke and, when you had finished dressing, you quickly went up to the stage like Rarity had told you.
  857. >When you turned to face the room you were suddenly set upon by a small crowd of formally-dressed familiar faces, including Rarity, her closest friends, and Spike, who sat on a small stool and faced the organ.
  858. >“You look absolutely stunning,” Rarity said. “Now then, Spikey my dear.”
  859. >Spike started playing the opening chords to a familiar melody, which you recognized as soon as the doors at the end of the room opened.
  860. >Dressed in white and wearing a pink veil, Pinkie pie stepped into the room, only to start skipping once she herself picked up on the melody.
  861. >“La, la, la, la,” she sang. “Here comes the bride. Woo-hoo!”
  862. >She jumped onto the runway and danced the rest of the way to the stage.
  863. >“Here comes the bride,” she sang, “with the Pinkie inside.”
  864. >She stopped when she reached your feet and, looking up at you, her cheeks pinker and warmer than the rest of her happy face, she opened her arms and squeezed your legs tight with a hug.
  865. >You looked past her at the smiling faces of the small crowd, beads of sweat drawing on your brow.
  866. >You had been set up.
  867. >She played you so easily, distracting you with those trifling childish pranks that you were missing the bigger set up to humiliate you all along.
  868. >The doors she had opened had now closed and Rarity, without getting up from her seat, bolted them shut.
  869. >Pinkie let go of your legs and took her place by your side.
  870. >She only made enough room for Twilight to step between the two of you and take her place at the head of the ceremony.
  871. >You followed Pinkie as she turned to face Twilight, but you were also turning every which way in search of an escape.
  872. >There had to be a way to exit gracefully, a way that did not include having to go through with this entire ridiculous ceremony.
  873. >There had to be a way in which you could salvage your dignity.
  874. >The music ceased.
  875. >“Good afternoon, every pony,” Twilight said. “I am honored to be leading this mock wedding, for which we have all gathered here today, to be held in honor of the love between Pinkie and our good human friend.”
  876. >Everyone in the room cheered briefly.
  877. Pinkie, what is all this?
  878. >“Do you like it?” Pinkie said with a reserved smile. “I thought it would be fun if we had a make believe wedding together, and I wanted to surprise you with it.”
  879. >She gestured round the room at the flowers and sashes, and said:
  880. >“I decorated it myself. This is what I think our someday wedding will look like.”
  881. You sure about that? There are no balloons, no games, not even any glitter or anything like that in here. It doesn’t really seem like something you would have had in mind.
  882. >“But then it would have looked like a party,” Pinkie said. She paused. “And I didn’t want that. I wanted it to look romantic.”
  883. >It was cute to hear her say that and you had to strain yourself to suppress the urge not to laugh at her outright.
  884. >Pinkie looked down at her nervous hooves which were dancing in their place.
  885. No offense, but I don’t think romance is something that you excel at.
  886. >She did not lift her eyes to meet yours.
  887. >There was another pause in the room which made you feel awkward.
  888. I mean there are a lot of things that you are good at. You’re a much better prankster than I ever was. I knew that the first time we talked about it, and I certainly know it now.
  889. >She looked up suddenly.
  890. >“But you’re the prank master. You said so yourself.”
  891. Not anymore. You’re the prank master now, Pinkie. The title is yours if you want it. I wasn’t really interested in keeping it anyway.
  892. >Pinkie’s ears turned flat and her eyes turned away from you.
  893. What’s wrong? I thought you’d have liked having the title.
  894. >“I like it when my friends give me gifts,” she said.
  895. >She looked up at you. “But that’s not what I want from you right now.”
  896. Then what do you want?
  897. >“It’s hard for me to explain it,” she said. “When we’re together, I feel all these funny feelings inside me, and they’re filling me up all the time like a deflated balloon, and I don’t know what they really are, but I know that they all have to do with you. I can’t put it in any other way other than to say that there’s a really great once in a lifetime party that’s headed our way, and the only way we’re going to be a part of it is if we go together.”
  898. Pinkie, we might not get to go that party.
  899. >You looked down at her as she turned away from you and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hoof.
  900. >She was starting to get teary eyed. If she expected the same from you she would be disappointed.
  901. >You had not been nearly impressed enough with her simple-minded sentiments to follow her lead into such an embarrassing emotional exhibition.
  902. >It was clear to you now that she was just trying to shame you in front of your shared friends and you were patiently waiting for the polite moment to just walk out, head home and away from all this.
  903. >“I’m sorry if I ever annoyed you because I didn’t want us to be apart,” she said. “I’ve never had a crush before, and I just want you to like me, but you don’t . . .”
  904. >She bowed her head and, covering her face with one arm, started to sob quietly.
  905. >Twilight placed a gentle hoof on Pinkie’s shoulder and then turned angrily on you.
  906. >“Aren’t you going to say something?” Twilight said.
  907. No. Why should I? I didn’t do anything to upset her. In case you couldn’t see it I’m the one who has been deceived here, not her nor any of you.
  908. >“You could stand to have just a little compassion,” Rarity said while standing up from her chair.
  909. No. As far as I’m concerned she brought this on herself. If I had known that this was going to be a prank that was set up to demonize me for not liking her, then I never would’ve come.
  910. >“Demonize you?” Applejack said. “That ain’t what this was all about.”
  911. >“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash said, “all she wanted to do was tell you that she liked you.”
  912. >“That’s right,” Fluttershy said. “She just wanted to try and say in words that she felt especially for you.”
  913. >You looked at all their firm solemn faces staring at you, and you shook your head.
  914. Forget this. I’m out of here.
  915. >You went across the room to the door and unlocked it.
  916. >But just as you had opened the door and were about to leave, Pinkie broke away from her friends.
  917. >“Wait!” she shouted to you. “I have to tell you something.”
  918. >You took one look at her wet red eyes, dragging frown and glistening cheeks before turning to run out from the boutique.
  919. >You heard her friends calling her name from behind you.
  920. >Once you were outside you thought you would be free but she kept following you, dragging the train of her wedding dress in the dirt and ignoring the stares of the ponies in the street that stopped to watch the chase.
  921. >Despite this she kept a good pace behind you. By the time you had gotten home you were practically shutting the door in her face.
  922. >After you had locked it you could feel her leaning against the door.
  923. >You looked out the window and saw that about a dozen ponies had gathered around your house to witness the sudden disturbance.
  924. Pinkie, go away.
  925. >“I can’t,” she said. “I couldn’t let you leave thinking that I set out to make you feel bad.”
  926. What are you talking about?
  927. >“I didn’t set up the wedding just so I could say how you made me feel,” Pinkie said. “I also did it because I was afraid.”
  928. Afraid of what? It was obvious that I already knew.
  929. >“Afraid that, if I told you how I felt, if I really said it for the first time, that you wouldn’t be happy, that you wouldn’t smile,” Pinkie said. “That’s why I set it up as a prank. All the time that I’ve been with you, I’ve wanted to find something that we could do together that would make you happy. So when you told me that you were the prank master, I thought that I’d finally found something that was for us. I thought that if I told you how I felt during a prank, that maybe that would make you smile.”
  930. >You paused and stared at the door while listening to Pinkie’s sniffling from the other side.
  931. >So it seemed that Pinkie was not trying to hurt you, shame you, or even convince you that she was deserving of your love.
  932. >All this time, in her own silly way, it seemed that Pinkie just wanted you to be as happy to see her as she was to see you, even if it was only for one time.
  933. >“I’m sorry that I messed everything up back there,” Pinkie said. “I won’t do it again. If I can’t ever make you smile, then it’s just not worth it.”
  934. >She got up and walked away soon after that, leaving you to stand frozen by the door.
  935. >On the coffee table nearby there sat a smiling jack o lantern, its candle still lit so that a trembling glow reached all of the still and silent decorations in the room.
  936. >Your mind turned back to that brief moment when you told Pinkie about your past pranks.
  937. >Why had she attached such significance to it?
  938. >You and her had shared a laugh then for what seemed like the only time out of all the time that you had spent in each other’s company.
  939. >Despite your trying you could not recall a single smile you had made in her presence.
  940. >Knowing how much that smiles meant to Pinkie Pie, could you readily admit to yourself that perhaps you had never given her a single smile?
  941. >Sure she did annoy you, but surely not any more than she did any of her other close friends.
  942. >You moved with a shuffle of your feet to the kitchen and looked at the table where you and she so often sat.
  943. >Not every time that she came over uninvited had been spent regretfully.
  944. >She was always cheerful when visiting, like a reliable bright spot that warmly came every day with the morning.
  945. >She even brought gifts sometimes without expecting anything in return.
  946. >You opened the box of cereal she had brought back with her and started pouring some.
  947. >You stopped upon noticing that for the first time in a while only the cereal was filling the bowl.
  948. >You looked in the box but did not see any spiders or toys or any surprises whatsoever were waiting for you.
  949. >The box was empty of such things.
  950. >You stared at the cereal for a while before leaving it to sit down at the table.
  951. >The house was completely silent.
  952. >There was no giggling, no bouncing, no sounds to be heard at all.
  953. >You sat perfectly still for a long time with the knowledge that Pinkie Pie was not really so bad.
  954. >You might even say that you liked her, perhaps even depended on her to fill your life.
  955. >You wished that she was with you right now, trying to convince you to go to her Cider Season Shindig Social, planning your next surprise, smiling at you.
  956. I have to do something for Pinkie.
  957. >You felt an anxious fire spreading from the inside of your chest and travelling up through your blood to the rest of your body.
  958. >You stood up from your seat, feeling restless and repeating to yourself:
  959. I have to make Pinkie smile.
  960. >You walked from room to room as you came up with your plan.
  961.  
  962. >For the first time in as long as you could remember you were going to have some fun.
  963. >The dining room of Sugar Cube Corner was dim with the coming morning shade.
  964. >You had been sitting for over half an hour now.
  965. >Soon the little hand of the clock would shift over the eight.
  966. >When that happened you were to turn on the baby monitor that sat on your table.
  967. >You yawned as you watched the clock.
  968. >You had had a long night.
  969. >Finally the hour struck and you turned on the baby monitor.
  970. >A harsh metallic chord screeched out from the tiny speaker, followed by two screams, one deep and aggressive, and another that pierced shrilly through the tuneless melody like an out of sync surprise.
  971. >The surprised scream ceased.
  972. >“What the hay is . . . ?” Pinkie said.
  973. >But she stopped when she noticed what you had hung over her bed, right in line to collide with her forehead once she sat up.
  974. >In that following pause you could see her going cross eyed, the color draining from her face, her lips trembling with another imminent scream.
  975. >No matter how nice Pinkie really was there was one thing that she had always hated all her life, one thing that could send her into hysterics just by her seeing it.
  976. >“Big hairy spider!” Pinkie shouted. “Ew, ew ,ew!”
  977. >Right in her face was a realistic-looking rubber tarantula that was about the size of a small dog and which had actual brown pony hair covering its legs and fangs.
  978. >You heard clearly her leaping out of bed in such haste that, by the dull thump of the ceiling above you, you were certain she did not land on her hooves.
  979. >She scrambled up, scraping her hooves on the wood floor, and trotted for the door while still screaming.
  980. >Then you heard the clang of the bucket falling off the door and the water splashing on the floor above you.
  981. >With muffled screams she trotted blindly down the hall in intervals, stopping whenever the bucket seemed to smack against either of the walls.
  982. >Even with the bucket stuck on her face she somehow found the stairs, though this did not mean that she slowed her panicked pace.
  983. >You tried to say something helpful.
  984. Use the rail.
  985. >She took three steps before slipping out from under her hooves and somersaulting down seventeen steps to land at the foot on her bottom.
  986. >The bucket fell off her face like a suction cup that had lost grip on its surface, revealing a face that was frozen in a scrunch of confusion and a pair of eyes that would surely have guaranteed Pinkie a fine delivery job in Equestria.
  987. >You shook your head slowly.
  988. I can’t believe you didn’t watch that third step. It’s a slippery one.
  989. >Pinkie closed her eyes and shook her head. When she stopped she looked normal again.
  990. >She turned to you with a surprised expression.
  991. >“What are you doing here?” she said.
  992. >She pointed up the staircase. “Did you set those up for me?”
  993. I sure did.
  994. >“But when did you do that? I was home all day.”
  995. Did it all not even three hours ago. You snore like a bear, by the way.
  996. >“But you got me so good,” she said. “How did you know what to do?”
  997. Yesterday evening, while you were up in your room, I came and got permission from Mr. Cake to scope this place out for pranking opportunities. He helped me get you out of your room for ten minutes so I could look it over.
  998. >Pinkie’s eyes opened wide. “When the twins got stuck crawling around in the vent again. It was a set up all along.”
  999. >You ignored this strange detour heading towards the topic of the questionable parenting risks that Mr. Cake took yesterday.
  1000. >“But how did you get the bucket to stick to my face?” Pinkie said.
  1001. That was actually all on you. I’m not even sure how that managed to happen.
  1002. >“Are you saying that while I was being pranked, I somehow managed to prank myself at the same time?”
  1003. I guess.
  1004. >Pinkie gasped. Then, after a moment of reflection, started giggling to herself.
  1005. >“I guess only a real prank master could pull something like that off, huh?”
  1006. I’ve never heard of it being done myself. I think you might’ve just broke new ground. I’m actually kind of disappointed you didn’t go in the bathroom, though. I sabotaged almost everything in there. Took me forever to find a fish paste that matched the color of your bubblegum toothpaste.
  1007. >Pinkie stuck her tongue out and squinted. “Gross . . . But definitely classic.”
  1008. >You nodded and she laughed. Pinkie went across the room and sat before you now.
  1009. >She was spinning her hoof in circles around one of her curly pink bangs.
  1010. >“So, does you coming over and pranking me like this mean that we’re friends again?”
  1011. I’m afraid it’s not as simple as that.
  1012. >She froze. “What do you mean?”
  1013. I didn’t just come over to prank you.
  1014. >You leaned forward, dipping your body slightly into hers while she watched you carefully with her excited eyes.
  1015. >From under her chin your fist rose up suddenly and, pinching her nose between your clamped forefinger and middle finger, you lightly pulled on her muzzle until your fingers lost their grip.
  1016. >Pinkie placed her front hooves over her nose and saw while looking up at you that the two fingers which had tugged on her earlier now held our thumb, which poked out slightly and was colored red.
  1017. I’m sorry, Pinkie, but I’m afraid that I came here today with the intent to steal your nose, as it always seemed to be in my business whether I asked for it or no.
  1018. >“You can’t just take my nose,” she said playfully. “You better give it back to me.”
  1019. If you want it . . . then you have to catch me.
  1020. >Before you had finished your sentence you had jumped out from your seat, spun around Pinkie when she tried to block you, and had reached the exit of Sugar Cube Corner.
  1021. >Pinkie chased after you and was able to effectively stay on your heels this time.
  1022. >The morning ponies that were starting their day all paused their tired routines and turned their heads to follow you both when you came running past them.
  1023. >“Give me back my nose,” Pinkie said.
  1024. Never!
  1025. >When you could go no further you placed your open palm on your door.
  1026. >Pinkie jumped and caught you by wrapping her arms around your waist. She held you close.
  1027. >“Ha!” she said, looking up at you. “Now you have to give me my nose back.”
  1028. Nope. I’m touching home base.
  1029. >You patted your door. Pinkie shook her head.
  1030. >“But you didn’t say ‘ABC, One, Two, Three, Base on me’.”
  1031. >Your face fell. Pinkie was smiling, her tongue sticking out the side of her mouth.
  1032. I guess you’re right. Okay, let’s go in for a break.
  1033. >She sat down at the kitchen table while you brought the two ciders you still had left in the fridge.
  1034. >You made sure to give her the bottle that was in your right hand after you sat down.
  1035. >You saw she was staring at the bottle.
  1036. Something wrong?
  1037. >“Yes,” she said. “I can’t enjoy this without my nose, silly.”
  1038. >Still held between two fingers, you flicked your thumb towards her, showing her that it was now free.
  1039. >Pinkie threw her head back while inhaling so that her chest puffed out like an airbag, then she released it and her body was calm again.
  1040. >“Thanks,” she said.
  1041. >She then popped the top of the bottle with her teeth and got sprayed all over her face by shooting foam and cider.
  1042. >She pulled away with her mane dripping and her face all wet and sudsy.
  1043. >She even coughed because some of the cider had shot up her nose; she laughed, too.
  1044. You got to be more careful for surprises like that.
  1045. >“Yeah, I forgot about that one.”
  1046. >Then a moment after you opened your bottle, you were trying to wipe cider off of your soaked shirt and pants with your sticky fingers.
  1047. >Pinkie laughed harder and you glared at the bottle.
  1048. It must’ve been defective or something. I only shook yours.
  1049. >“Well, I only shook yours, too,” Pinkie said. “That must’ve been the bottle that I shook when I first brought them over.”
  1050. No, that was days ago. There’s no way it could’ve stayed ready to blow for that long. It’s impossible.
  1051. >“It is kind of surprising.”
  1052. >You and Pinkie stared at each other.
  1053. >Then you both began to laugh and it all came out of you so hard that it felt like your heart was going to burst and open up all over everything.
  1054. >Your face was red all over when you and Pinkie finally calmed down.
  1055. Pinkie, can I go with you to help get your Cider Season Shindig Social ready today?
  1056. >“Of course you can,” Pinkie said. “I’m so glad that you asked.”
  1057. >You both cleaned up and later you came downstairs to see Pinkie was sitting on the couch waiting for you.
  1058. >She turned when she saw you coming and smiled as you approached her.
  1059. >You had already been smiling.
  1060. Ready?
  1061. >“Let’s go.”
  1062. Green light.
  1063. >She hopped off the couch and you both went to the door.
  1064. >“So, do you have any more surprises in store for me today?”
  1065. Red light.
  1066. >You both stopped.
  1067. Nope.
  1068. >“Right. Okay, then.”
  1069. Green light.
  1070. >You closed the door behind you.
  1071. >You and Pinkie walked away together with a rubber chicken sticking out of your back pocket and a whoopee cushion sticking out from the mane in her tail.
  1072.  
  1073.  
  1074.  
  1075. [c3]
  1076.  
  1077.  
  1078. >You woke from your afternoon nap to the sounds of cabinets opening and shutting, pots and pans clanging together, and a country girl’s heavy accent signing a song about jambalaya.
  1079. >You lived alone, but you knew that it was Applejack. She’d had a crush on you for about a month now and had been trying to get on your good side by showing you a little down home affection now and then.
  1080. >Honestly, you would have liked her a lot more if she just wasn’t so clingy.
  1081. >Right when you went down to say hi Applejack let go of the ladle she was using with her mouth, went across the room, and hugged you around your waist.
  1082. >“Afternoon, sugar cube,” she says.
  1083. >You said a polite hello and then placed your hand on her face and pushed her off of you.
  1084. >She’d filled your green coffee mug with water and went to take a sip before she went back to her pot.
  1085. >Applejack’s hospitality really worked both ways.
  1086. >She’s even used your shower before.
  1087. So, what’s cooking in the pot?
  1088. >“I’m making those candied apples that Pinkie likes so much. That girl has gone out of her head baking recently, and so I thought she’d like it if some pony brought her something to munch on for a change.”
  1089. Sugar Cube Corner has been busy lately.
  1090. >“Every year around Nightmare Night. Yet she still finds time to live it up more than any pony else.”
  1091. >Applejack suddenly turned towards the floor and let out a big sneeze.
  1092. >Your face clenched up as she wiped her nose and then went back to stirring with her mouth.
  1093. >Now you were going to have to mop that area of the floor, as well as clean everything that she used—as usual.
  1094. >It’s not that you thought Applejack was unclean.
  1095. >Ever since coming to Equestria you had become more wary of germs than you had ever been.
  1096. >Something about Equestria’s germs really affected you.
  1097. >They wreaked havoc on your immune system if you got sick.
  1098. >You used to be pretty healthy, but now if you even got a cold it could easily escalate into a fever in mere days without any hope of going away within a week.
  1099. >There were no medicines or cures that you could take to help fight the diseases either.
  1100. >The only real defenses that you had against Equestrian diseases were cleanliness and caution.
  1101. >Soon you had wrapped up Applejack’s candied apples and you were both headed to the community center to meet your friends.
  1102. >All of them had already shown up and were waiting for you two in the big empty room where this year’s town-wide Nightmare Night party would be held in seven days.
  1103. >You, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, and Fluttershy had all agreed to help Pinkie for an hour each day to get the party ready.
  1104. >Pinkie was overjoyed when she received Applejack’s candied apples, and so was Fluttershy apparently.
  1105. >“I’m so glad some pony brought snacks that aren’t scary to look at,” Fluttershy said.
  1106. >Pinkie Pie gave everyone a task to do that mostly had to do with decoration.
  1107. >Applejack stayed close by you the entire time, occasionally finding an excuse to bump into you with her flanks or brush alongside you with her body.
  1108. >Things were going well and it was mostly quiet as you all worked, except for Fluttershy’s whimpering.
  1109. >After Pinkie had run out of creature decorations, like spiders and bats, Fluttershy had to start handling the ghoul and monster and general Nightmare Night decorations that the rest of you were putting up.
  1110. >She was doing most of her work with her eyes closed by then which resulted in a lot of crooked, lopsided and dangling decorations.
  1111. >You had just put a scarecrow in place and were busy hanging some cobwebs when Applejack asked you to come down.
  1112. >“I need your help with the glitter real quick,” she said. “Can I borrow your hands for a moment?”
  1113. Sure. What do you need?
  1114. >Applejack smiled and then turned around and lifted her sparkly flanks for your eyes.
  1115. >“I accidentally sat in it and it itches like crazy,” she said. “I need help brushing it off.”
  1116. Seriously? I thought you actually needed my help.
  1117. >“I do,” she said.
  1118. >She bit her lip. “I need it bad.”
  1119. Use your tail to brush it off.
  1120. >“I think I need something firmer.”
  1121. I think you need to go soak your head.
  1122. >“Should I even say what that’s got me thinking about?”
  1123. >“Say it,” Pinkie shouted from across the room. “Come on, I want to see him knead those dough balls.”
  1124. >It was at this time that a familiar vulnerable shriek filled the room.
  1125. >Fluttershy had somehow gotten a pumpkin stuck on her head and was flying around the room in a panic, crashing into all sorts of things.
  1126. >She hit your scarecrow and sent it toppling onto your back.
  1127. >You fell forward and slammed your face right into the cushy center of Applejack’s rear.
  1128. >There was a loud crash, and afterwards Fluttershy sat still next to the candied apples for the rest of the hour.
  1129. >You sat next to her while Applejack dabbed at the sparkly bruises around your eyes with a wet washcloth.
  1130. >“Sorry, sugar cube,” she said.
  1131. >Rainbow Dash was laughing. “Who knew Applejack’s butt was so powerful?”
  1132. >“Oh, I did!” Pinkie said. “Definitely the strongest butt next to Twilight’s.”
  1133. >Twilight looked over her shoulder disapprovingly at Pinkie, who simply shrugged at her glance.
  1134. >Then, after swishing her tail experimentally once or twice, Twilight turned back to continue comforting Fluttershy, who had finished the candied apples and was hiding her head in her arms.
  1135. >“You can quit if you aren’t comfortable,” Twilight said.
  1136. >“I won’t,” Fluttershy said. “Pinkie needs our help and I want to do my part.”
  1137. >She lifted her head up and stared forward with determined teary eyes.
  1138. >“I will keep coming so that I can help. I’m not going to let anything stop me.”
  1139. >The next day at the community center you all waited over fifteen minutes for Fluttershy to show up before sending Twilight out to see what was keeping her.
  1140. >Applejack looked regretfully at the cinnamon sugar cookies she had brought for her.
  1141. >“I hope she gets here soon,” Applejack said. “The cookies ain’t going to be warm much longer.”
  1142. >“That’s a good point,” Pinkie said. “We better hurry up and eat our share while we can.”
  1143. >As the ponies gathered around the cookie-covered tray, Applejack grabbed a cookie between her teeth and brought it to you.
  1144. >Without moving her mouth, she said:
  1145. >“Want one?”
  1146. >You really didn’t, thinking of the germs that must be living in Applejack’s mouth.
  1147. >But you felt bad for her recently.
  1148. >She barely spoke to you after the incident yesterday, and she didn’t come over to see you before going to the community center today.
  1149. >You were sure she still felt awful about what happened.
  1150. >It wasn’t even that bad.
  1151. >Tell the truth, you admired that butt of hers—but you could never say that to her.
  1152. >So you took the cookie instead.
  1153. Thanks.
  1154. >She watched you.
  1155. >You cringed inside as you took a bite of the cookie.
  1156. It’s good.
  1157. >“Glad you think so. How’s your face?”
  1158. Stopped stinging when I woke up this morning. How’s your . . . ?
  1159. >“Never been better. I always wanted you to surprise me down there like the way you did—of course it didn’t exactly work out the way I thought it would.”
  1160. >You shrugged and took another bite as Twilight suddenly arrived.
  1161. >“Every pony, I have some bad news,” Twilight said. “Fluttershy is sick. She has the flu.”
  1162. >You felt a chill run up your spine.
  1163. >She sat right next to you yesterday for nearly twenty minutes.
  1164. Are you sure it’s the flu?
  1165. >“She showed all the symptoms, nausea, coughing, runny nose, fever, chills, even a little bit of delirium,” Twilight said.
  1166. >“But she was just fine yesterday,” Rainbow Dash said. “Where could she have gotten the flu from?”
  1167. >“I don’t know,” Twilight said. “Maybe she picked it up from some pony else.”
  1168. Some pony else? What’s that mean?
  1169. >“Well, there have been a few cases popping up in Ponyville recently,” Twilight said.
  1170. I never heard anything.
  1171. >“Well, Roseluck is ill,” Rarity said.
  1172. >“Thunderlane and Flitter are both sick too,” Rainbow Dash said.
  1173. >She smirked. “And I think we all know how they caught it.”
  1174. >“I know some ponies who are sick too,” Pinkie said. “A lot of ponies, actually.”
  1175. What? Who?
  1176. >“Boy, where do I even start?” Pinkie said.
  1177. Enough! Twilight, is there some kind of flu epidemic in town or something?
  1178. >“It is not an epidemic,” Twilight said. “It’s just a bug that’s going around.”
  1179. Well you could’ve told me.
  1180. >“I’m sorry,” Twilight said. “I didn’t think it was going to affect this many ponies, and I didn’t’ want you to worry.”
  1181. >You noticed that Applejack had started to sweat sometime during all this.
  1182. >You turned on her.
  1183. Did you know about this?
  1184. >“Well, I . . .” She sighed. “Apple Bloom has had it for a few days now.”
  1185. >Your face fell slack.
  1186. >You looked down at the cookie you had half eaten.
  1187. >Why on Earth did you eat that cookie?
  1188. >Think of all the germs.
  1189. >Now that you thought about it you didn’t even mop the floor yesterday like you said you would.
  1190. >You’ve been slipping, and now you’re at risk of spending weeks in bed with the flu.
  1191. >You threw the cookie away.
  1192. >Then you turned your head slowly to look at the cookie tray she had brought.
  1193. That’s how Fluttershy got sick. She ate all those candied apples that you made.
  1194. >“That ain’t it,” Applejack said. “The whole reason I made them at your place was so that I wouldn’t get every pony here sick.”
  1195. >“And that’s why she came to mine today,” Rarity said.
  1196. Wait. You all knew that she was living with a sick pony and you ate the cookies anyway?
  1197. >They all looked at each other; some of them nodded and some of them shrugged.
  1198. >“It’s not like Applejack is the one that’s sick,” Rainbow Dash said.
  1199. >“And besides, we trust her,” Rarity said.
  1200. >“Look, we can’t spend this entire hour arguing about this,” Twilight said. She turned to you. “You’ve already worked with Applejack for one day without getting sick, haven’t you?”
  1201. >You pursed your lips.
  1202. >Applejack had been wearing a hurt look this entire time.
  1203. >You sighed.
  1204. Yeah, I guess that’s true.
  1205. >“So, you’ll still help?” Twilight said.
  1206. Sure.
  1207. >“Well, that’s good,” Pinkie said, “because we still have a lot to do.”
  1208. But you have to keep your distance from me, Applejack.
  1209. >“I’ll try,” she said.
  1210. >Twilight rolled her eyes. “Do you have to act this way? The odds of her actually getting you sick are outrageously against you.”
  1211. >The next day Twilight did not show up to the community center.
  1212. >You all sat in silence for fifteen minutes waiting for her.
  1213. >There was a bowl of warm apple fritters that lay untouched in the room.
  1214. >You stood up from your seat.
  1215. She’s sick. That’s it. I’m out.
  1216. >“But you can’t leave now,” Pinkie said. “We’re down two ponies already.”
  1217. Don’t you know every pony in town? Find a replacement or something.
  1218. >“I can’t,” she said. “Every pony is either busy or has the flu.”
  1219. I’m out.
  1220. >You went home and spent the rest of the day cleaning your house.
  1221. >Now all you had to do was lay low in your house until this flu epidemic went away.
  1222. >Score one for cleanliness.
  1223. >Then Applejack came over uninvited that next afternoon and ruined everything.
  1224. Did you touch anything?
  1225. >“No, I haven’t.”
  1226. >It really didn’t matter. You were still going to have to mop the floor anyway.
  1227. So who’s sick today?
  1228. >“Pinkie Pie.”
  1229. Figures. What’s going to happen to the party now?
  1230. >“We won’t be ready in time with only three ponies. We need your help.”
  1231. Can’t do it.
  1232. >“But this party meant a lot to Pinkie, and I bet that if she could speak more than three words without coughing she would’ve said so herself.”
  1233. I am not getting sick.
  1234. >“Well ain’t there some way where you can help without getting sick.”
  1235. >You thought for a moment.
  1236. Actually, I guess I could wear some protection.
  1237. >“Protection?” Applejack said, her cheeks turning red. “You, uh, got something else besides party planning in your mind?”
  1238. Oh please. I’m talking about wearing gloves.
  1239. >“I knew that,” Applejack said quickly. “So, should I tell the others you’ll be there later?”
  1240. >You told her yes and then set out to prepare for later on.
  1241. >When you arrived Applejack stared at your sterile surgical wear with knit eyebrows.
  1242. >“Really?” she said. “Why do you have to treat me like I’m some kind of biohazard?”
  1243. Because you are.
  1244. >The doors opened.
  1245. >Rainbow Dash came in, took one look at your clothes, and fell to the floor laughing.
  1246. >“Paging Dr. Dork, we need you in the mental trauma wing.”
  1247. Shut up. Let’s see how much you’ll feel like laughing when you get sick.
  1248. >She stood up, shaking her head. “Not going to happen. I’m too awesome to let a little flu take me down.”
  1249. >She looked you up and down and then started to laugh again.
  1250. >“Besides, I think I’d rather get sick than let anybody see me in an outfit like that.”
  1251. It’s a surgeon’s uniform. People do actually wear these, Dash.
  1252. >“But only a mental case would wear something like that out in public.”
  1253. >The doors opened and Rarity came in wearing a face mask, a violet surgical cap, and pink scrubs with gems around the collar.
  1254. >Rainbow Dash fell to the floor again.
  1255. >Applejack snorted and walked to the other side of the room.
  1256. >Rarity’s face heated behind her mask as she glared at Rainbow Dash.
  1257. >“Well, let’s see how funny you’ll think I am when you’re laid up in bed later.”
  1258.  
  1259. What are you doing in my kitchen again? I said I would be there later.
  1260. >“I just thought I should tell you that Rarity is sick now,” Applejack said.
  1261. Okay, you know what, never mind then. I’m not going to be there.
  1262. >“But Pinkie’s party—”
  1263. Is not happening. She’s just going to have to live with disappointing the ponies that wanted to go.
  1264. >“Come on, we’re almost done anyways. One more good day of work with you, me and Dash is all we’ve got left.”
  1265. I said no. Now get out.
  1266. >Applejack stared firmly at you.
  1267. >“And what if I don’t leave? What if I just stay here instead and rub myself all over everything in your house?”
  1268. >She got up out of her chair and sauntered over towards you with half-lidded eyes.
  1269. >“Sugar cube, what if I rub myself all over you. Celestia knows I’ve been dying to for a long time now.”
  1270. >You took a step backwards.
  1271. >She looked you in the eyes and licked her lips.
  1272. >“What if I brought my lasso and some caramel sauce over, tied you down naked, and then poured that sauce all over you till you were nice and sticky—so I could lick it all off.”
  1273. Do you even know how dirty that is?
  1274. >“Oh, it’d be dirty all right.”
  1275. >You backed into a wall.
  1276. >Applejack stood on her hind legs and pressed herself against you.
  1277. >She looked up at you and said:
  1278. >“We’d be dirty all over each other, all night long.”
  1279. Stop! Okay, I’ll do it. Just get off and stay away from me.
  1280. >She gave a short laugh and stepped away from you.
  1281. >“I’m glad we were able to work that out. I’ll see you later.”
  1282. >She stopped short of the door and, looking over her shoulder, also said:
  1283. >“Oh, and I’d be happy to see you again at an even later time, if you catch my drift.”
  1284. >You caught it, but it’s not like she was subtle about it at all.
  1285. >Of all the ways that you could get the flu, sex seemed to you to be the most irresponsible.
  1286. >Later you dressed up in your sterile wear and then went to the community center.
  1287. >Applejack was there by herself.
  1288. >“Glad you could make it. We’re just waiting on our third.”
  1289. Man, don’t tell me Dash isn’t going to show up now.
  1290. >The doors opened and Rainbow Dash flew dizzily into the room.
  1291. >There were deep circles around her bloodshot eyes, her mane was messy and greasy, and her body seemed to hang limp from underneath her tired wings.
  1292. >She stumbled when landing before you both and moaned as she straightened her posture.
  1293. >You flinched as she approached.
  1294. >“Hey, guys,” she said nasally, “is Rarity here yet or . . .”
  1295. >She was suddenly overcome with a dry cough and doubled over.
  1296. >When she stood back up she weakly smiled.
  1297. >“Sorry,” she said, sounding delirious, “I was just eating earlier and I took a wrong windpipe in my mouth . . . you know how it is, Dr. Dork. . . I think I’m take a nap before Pinkie starts . . .”
  1298. >Rainbow Dash eased herself down to the floor and laid on her side, moaning and with her limbs twitching occasionally.
  1299. >You turned to Applejack.
  1300. You’re a monster.
  1301. >“We’re going to have to work around her.”
  1302. Isn’t there anyone we can call to take her home?
  1303. >“I can’t think of any pony that isn’t sick who could do it.”
  1304. What? Just how many ponies in this town are sick now because of you?
  1305. >“Don’t make this out like it’s all my fault.”
  1306. >“Guys,” Dash uttered lowly, “can you keep the music down to a minimum . . . I can’t eat another cookie or I’ll barf again.”
  1307. Why are we still even working on this party? None of our friends are going to be here, you and I can’t bake any snacks for it, and there’s no way that we’re going to finish everything in time now.
  1308. >“Yes we can,” Applejack said. “Today is Saturday. We should go around and ask if any pony wants to come help out.”
  1309. What should we do about her?
  1310. >You pointed to Dash who was curled up in the fetal position with her eyes shut tight.
  1311. >The two of you placed her in a wheelbarrow and you headed out to find someone to help.
  1312. >But the streets were all quiet and empty.
  1313. >Every store was closed and every door was shut.
  1314. >The town was completely silent, and you and Applejack stood in the middle of it like two lonely islands surrounded by the ocean.
  1315. I can’t believe you got everybody in this town sick.
  1316. >“Stop saying that,” Applejack said.
  1317. >It was quiet again. You shivered.
  1318. This is kind of creepy. I’m going home.
  1319. >“You can’t just leave. We have to take care of Rainbow Dash.”
  1320. Just take her home.
  1321. >“She lives in a cloud.”
  1322. Well then get somebody to . . . dammit.
  1323. >You looked down in the wheelbarrow at Dash, her teeth clenched and her body shaking all over.
  1324. >Later you tucked her into your bed, put a glass of water on the nightstand, heard her mumble something about Applejack’s powerful butt, and then you left her in your room to sleep.
  1325. >You went downstairs and sat next to Applejack on the couch.
  1326. I am never eating anything that you make me ever again.
  1327. >“We’ll see about that. Nightmare Night is cancelled, we’ve got the whole weekend to ourselves, and an hour of work still left to do between us. Can you think of anything we could do to make the time pass?”
  1328. >She sidled up next to you and started rubbing the top of your thigh.
  1329. >You felt your heart start when she pressed her cheek against your arm and looked up at you.
  1330. >What hopes did you really have against both an entire town that had the flu and a girl next to you that was driving your blood wild with her desire to release what you’d both been holding back for far too long?
  1331. >Applejack smiled at your blush. “Tell me something, you ever catch the flu from eating hot apple pie?”
  1332. Well, I think I’m going to find out.
  1333.  
  1334. >Twilight frowned at you while you were lying in bed.
  1335. >“I still say that what you two did was the most irresponsible way to catch the flu that I’ve ever heard of,” Twilight said.
  1336. >You barely paid her any mind; it was one of the few perks that you had from being so sick that you felt like you were dying slowly and painfully.
  1337. >“Of course Applejack says it was the best Nightmare Night she’s ever had,” she said, “at least that’s what she says in between the vomiting. But what are your final thoughts about all this?”
  1338. Her butt has ruined me.
  1339. >“Oh please,” Twilight said, “you’ll be spending Thanksgiving with her family before you know it. Good luck with that, by the way.”
  1340. Mop the floor on your way out.
  1341. >“I can’t,” she said. “You’ve been vomiting in your mop bucket.”
  1342. Then bring it to me. I’ve still got some fluids in me that I need to toss.
  1343. >Twilight rolled her eyes and turned to leave the room.
  1344. >“Just fifty-nine minutes to go,” she said to herself.
  1345. >She sighed. “This is not how I thought I’d be spending my time once I got well.”
  1346.  
  1347.  
  1348.  
  1349. [c4]
  1350.  
  1351.  
  1352. >Rainbow Dash, still smarting from her earlier failure, dropped the wet lettuce leafs in Tank’s bowl so that they landed with an unceremonious flop, spraying him in the face with tiny beads of water.
  1353. >He looked up at Rainbow Dash with his black eyes and rigid hooked mouth and took his time in a blink that lasted nearly a minute.
  1354. >Rainbow Dash watched him with a frown, which shifted abruptly to a groaning sneer after he had opened his eyes.
  1355. >“I’m sorry, Tank,” she said. “I just can’t stand it, knowing that he didn’t like my tricks again.”
  1356. >Rainbow Dash started pacing the length of the room, muttering angrily about how she had spent hours practicing them over the week, practicing until her wings were sore every night.
  1357. >Tank opened his mouth and slowly started extending his neck to reach his lettuce.
  1358. >Rainbow Dash had had a crush on the human that lived in Ponyville for over two months now, ever since he had competed in the Running on the Leaves and surprisingly came in first.
  1359. >She was duly impressed by his abilities, as well as taken by his lean body and taut smooth muscles, which seemed to burn under his sweat-shone skin in her eyes when she had reached the finish line just on his heels.
  1360. >While performing her morning weather patrol duties she would always sit on top of a cloud nearby his house, waiting for him to leave for work in the morning so she could fly down and accompany him on his way.
  1361. >Their talks were always one-sided, usually about Rainbow’s recent work with The Wonderbolts or how she had solved a friendship problem.
  1362. >He barely responded, if he did at all.
  1363. >When her work was done she would always find him wherever he was on his mail route.
  1364. >Since her defeat at the Running of the Leaves she had opted not to run by his side again but rather unfurl her wings and fly instead so that she could perform for him.
  1365. >She always gave it her all, but no matter how daring a dive, graceful a twist or swift a spin she did he always walked right through her fading rainbow trails without so much as a glance her way.
  1366. >“He’s such a jerk,” Rainbow said.
  1367. >She was still pacing and Tank was watching her while chewing slowly on the lettuce leaf that was pinched in his mouth.
  1368. >She stopped suddenly and roughly sat her rump down on the floor, following her eyes.
  1369. >She sighed.
  1370. >“Why doesn’t he like me?” she said. “I don’t deserve to be ignored, and he doesn’t deserve me at all. But I can’t help it, can I, Tank?”
  1371. >She looked to Tank, who slowly blinked at her while his lettuce leaf slipped out from his mouth.
  1372. >“I guess you’re right, Tank,” Rainbow Dash said. “If he’s the only one I like, then I should do everything that I can to get him. Why even like somebody at all if you’re not going to do anything about it, right?”
  1373. >Tank was slowly reaching for his lettuce leaf.
  1374. >Rainbow Dash’s eyes blinked and then suddenly lifted up following a quick smile.
  1375. >She looked at Tank from the sides of her eyes.
  1376. >“You know,” she said, “I bet that I’ll feel better if I just get a little stress-relief session in.”
  1377. >Tank, his mouth open, paused just over his lettuce leaf. He slowly looked up and watched as Dash pressed her front hooves together and started rubbing them.
  1378. >She took flight suddenly and, quickly hovering over to the door, said:
  1379. >“I’ll be in my room, Tank. Don’t wait up.”
  1380. >She left a fading rainbow trail behind her.
  1381. >After closing his mouth Tank held his eyes shut for a moment and, if he were so inclined, would have taken the five minutes that were needed to shake his head slowly at his owner.
  1382. >With a ticklish pit of excitement lining the bottom of her stomach Rainbow Dash entered her room and began performing a routine that she had had much practice doing for weeks.
  1383. >She stood in the middle of the room with an unaware expression on her face that was just the beginning of her following fantasy.
  1384. >From the side of her mouth, she said, in a mimicked, deep voice:
  1385. >“Oh my gosh! Isn’t that Rainbow Dash over there?”
  1386. >Dash pretended to be surprised. She eavesdropped.
  1387. >“She’s, like, literally the coolest pony ever, and she’s also pretty hot too. Who could resist that flank?”
  1388. >Dash gave her rump a little admiring wiggle.
  1389. >“I’d give anything for some pony that awesome to notice me.”
  1390. >It was here that Dash turned around and looked around the room as though it were much bigger, and said:
  1391. >“Why don’t you come and prove it then. Come on, don’t be shy, there’s plenty of the Dash to go around.”
  1392. >She was still looking around the room as she approached the closet, but her eyes could not lie with their sideways glances and she knew where she was going.
  1393. >She opened the closet, moved aside her spare Wonderbolts uniforms, and smiled as she came face to face with her human admirer, who had slumped over a bit since she last saw him.
  1394. >The plastic doll was stark white all over and, while it had the same contours and curves and features of the human body, was as still and expressionless as any mannequin that lived under the roofs of stores everywhere.
  1395. >It’s biggest draw for Dash was that the doll not only was the exact same height and size of the human, but it could also be posed in any way possible with its ball joints, and it had a sizeable rubber toy that stretched from its waist down to its posable knees.
  1396. >She sat the doll back up and made him face her with its blank eyes.
  1397. >She spoke in deep mimic again:
  1398. >“Wow! Hey, Rainbow Dash, I was just watching you doing some tricks back there. I can’t help but watch you whenever I see you, because you’re so awesome.”
  1399. >“Ah, it’s alright,” she responded. “I’m used to that kind of thing. But, you know, if you wanted to do more than just watch me . . . I’d let you get involved.”
  1400. >“I don’t know. I mean do you think I’m really good enough for you?”
  1401. >She reached over and posed its hand so that he reached out towards her.
  1402. >Her heart was rising up like the heat that was coloring her cheeks as she pressed his hand against her cheek.
  1403. >“Come with me,” she said. “Let’s go and find out.”
  1404. >Soon the event was over. Without fear holding her back her excitement had risen higher than it had ever gone before until, like a balloon gone up to the sky, it had peaked and she had to come down with it.
  1405. >Though he stumbled and fell over a few times, which had come to be expected by now, she still thought he gave a good performance as she went over it again while lying there next to him.
  1406. >Sometimes she liked to talk to the doll as if it were actually him.
  1407. >She would ask him why he didn’t like her, if she had done something wrong, or if he thought there was ever a chance that they could be with each other.
  1408. >But now she felt tired and did not want to speak to the doll.
  1409. >She turned over and reached for its hand only to feel sunken and heavy when it touched her.
  1410. >Then she remembered how much it had cost her to have Soarin’s model-making cousin craft this doll for her as a special commission and she felt regretful and had to put the doll away.
  1411. >It kept slumping over in the closet and finally after a few tries to get him to stay up straight she simply shut the door and headed back to bed for her afternoon nap.
  1412.  
  1413. >The wet lettuce leafs plopped in his bowl but Tank was still inside his shell.
  1414. >Dash knocked on the top of it and said:
  1415. >“Breakfast, Tank, up and at ‘em.”
  1416. >She smiled and stared for the whole two minutes it took for Tank to emerge, see the lettuce, and then reach out and take hold of one leaf in his mouth.
  1417. >“That’s a boy! You eat up, Tank. I’ve got to go get ready. There’s no way he’s going to be able to ignore me today.”
  1418. >As Rainbow Dash headed back to her room she felt the blood in her stomach rise up and tickle the nerves in her heart.
  1419. >She recognized the sensation but thought it strange that her desires should be insisting on satisfaction so early.
  1420. >“Well, maybe I can get a quick one in before I go. I can use the dummy to practice what I want to say to him today.”
  1421. >Dash opened the closet.
  1422. >Her eyes scanned the inside for a second before she felt her spirit sinking down through the clouds she stood on.
  1423. >“Where is it?”
  1424. >She peeked her head in and peered around the corners but the doll was not there in the closet.
  1425. >It couldn’t have just disappeared.
  1426. >She looked around the room for it in vain. It wasn’t there.
  1427. >She flew throughout the house searching for it, lifting up all the furniture, opening all the doors, checking in every corner and crevice.
  1428. >It was useless. She had torn apart every room.
  1429. >Her doll had disappeared.
  1430. >She sat in her room on the floor amongst all her scattered and displaced stuff with a distant look in her eyes and with strands of her mane sticking out all over her head.
  1431. >Then her heart started and scared her entire body as a thought flew by her mind.
  1432. >“Outside.”
  1433. >The doll must have fallen through the clouds somehow.
  1434. >She flew out and searched her lawn without finding it.
  1435. >Then she paused in midair with another thought.
  1436. >“. . . If some pony else found it?”
  1437. >She looked out to town in the distance and shuddered all over from head to hoof before flying forward.
  1438. >At first she flew through town with the pace of a light breeze and was wary of the eyes of others.
  1439. >But soon she realized that nobody in town was paying her any special mind and she started moving at her usual swift speed, her head turning every which way in search of her doll.
  1440. >She had to find which ever pony now had it and bring it back before anyone found out it was hers.
  1441. >She soon came across his house and paused in the air.
  1442. >She flew down to his window and looked inside.
  1443. >He was sitting in the kitchen and reading the newspaper just like he always was at this time.
  1444. >Nothing had changed so far and she wanted to keep it that way.
  1445. >That doll was her biggest secret.
  1446. >If ponies found out that she actually had such a thing in her house they would all think she was a creep, especially her crush.
  1447. >He would probably never talk to her again if he found out.
  1448. >A voice she did not instantly recognize surprised her.
  1449. >“Oh my gosh! Isn’t that Rainbow Dash over there?”
  1450. >Dash flinched but saw nobody was around her.
  1451. >Then she looked back in the window and found that he was looking right at her with a hard-to-place expression.
  1452. >She squinted and placed her face against the glass for a closer look.
  1453. >He waved at her with his pristine white hand, which was when she felt the world fall out from under her.
  1454. >It was her doll, and not only did it seem to be alive, and speaking in a voice that she now knew was the earlier mimic she had given it, but it was in the worst possible place where it could have ended up.
  1455. >She tried to wave it over to the window but it didn’t seem to understand what she wanted.
  1456. >She couldn’t call it over either because she was afraid her voice would accidentally bring the human out.
  1457. >She considered her options and regretfully saw only one way out of this.
  1458. >She was going to have to break in and sneak it out herself.
  1459. >The front door was locked, as was the back and all of the windows.
  1460. >Dash stepped back from the house, glaring at it, thinking that if a doll could get itself in somehow then she certainly could too.
  1461. >Then she saw the chimney and she got an idea she found daring.
  1462. >She flew up to the roof and looked down the dark hole.
  1463. >“All I got to do is fly down the chimney. Easy.”
  1464. >She jumped down and opened her wings once she started falling.
  1465. >Her wings only opened halfway before they hit the walls.
  1466. >The bottom was rushing towards her.
  1467. >Dash shut her eyes so she wouldn’t see what happened next.
  1468. >A moment later she was lying sprawled out on the floor of the living room, coughing and wiping her eyes as she looked up at the black dust that had clouded up the ceiling.
  1469. >She sat up and held her aching head, spitting out whatever tasted burnt in her mouth, when she heard someone coming her way.
  1470. >She trotted out of the room and into the hall just in time to hear the human start coughing and shouting.
  1471. >She heard him opening some windows and she rolled her eyes.
  1472. >“Could’ve used those five seconds ago,” she said to herself. “But now you’ve got a mess.”
  1473. >She walked quietly in the hall until she found the kitchen.
  1474. >The doll was still there. It noticed her.
  1475. >“Wow! Hey, Rainbow Dash, I was just watching you doing some tricks back there. I can’t help but watch you whenever I see you.”
  1476. >Dash shushed it.
  1477. >“What are you doing here?” she said in a harsh whisper. “How did you get here? How in Equestria are you alive?”
  1478. >The doll suddenly looked very serious. It leaned close to Dash’s ear.
  1479. >“I think you are awesome.”
  1480. >Dash groaned. “Not what I wanted to hear. Come on, we have to go.”
  1481. >She took its hand with her hoof and was surprised at how its plastic now felt so smooth and warm to touch.
  1482. >She looked up at it and their eyes met.
  1483. >It blinked and she shook her head and started pulling it towards the exit.
  1484. >Its fingers gripped her hoof, giving it a little squeeze.
  1485. >“I’ve always wanted to go with you, Rainbow Dash,” it said.
  1486. >“Shush.”
  1487. >Dash flattened it and herself against the wall.
  1488. >She peered around the corner into the hall, waiting for her chance to escape.
  1489. >“I heard everything you ever said to me when we were together,” it said.
  1490. >“Can you please not talk right now?” she said.
  1491. >“Sorry. It’s just that I’ve always wanted to say something back to you, but I never thought I would be able to. There’s so much I want to tell you, like, I just wanted to let you know how awesome I think you are, and that I always looked forward to when you came home because then it would stop being quiet, and that I liked it when you touched my hand because then it wasn’t cold—”
  1492. >“Look, we can’t do this right now, okay?” she said. “I want to talk to you to, mostly about how the heck you got here, but right now we need to be quiet.”
  1493. >“Okay. I’ll do whatever you say.”
  1494. >“Good,” Dash said. “No more talking.”
  1495. These markings on the floor look like hoof prints.
  1496. >“I thought I just told you to be quiet . . . That wasn’t you, was it?”
  1497. >The doll shook its head and Dash’s eyes shrunk.
  1498. >She started pushing the doll back into the kitchen.
  1499. >She went to the kitchen window but there were too many ponies out in the street now for her to escape.
  1500. >She looked wildly around the room.
  1501. >“We have to hide. Oh, where to hide, where to hide?”
  1502. >Suddenly she felt her doll’s arms wrap around her barrel.
  1503. >She yelped as it carried her across the room, opened the door to the small broom closet, and then shoved both of them inside it.
  1504. >The door shut behind them and it was completely dark, dust tickled her nose and eyes, and her entire body felt cramped against the brooms, handles, and her doll’s warm skin as its hands held onto her.
  1505. >Dash listened closely to the footsteps in the kitchen. He was opening and closing doors.
  1506. Where’s that mop at?
  1507. >The footsteps kept getting closer to their door.
  1508. >Soon he seemed to be right next to them.
  1509. >Dash shut her eyes again.
  1510. >She listened for his shout of surprise, but instead she only heard his footsteps leaving the room.
  1511. Left it in the bathroom.
  1512. >He was gone but still nearby.
  1513. >She heaved a sigh of relief, but heard two of them.
  1514. >She looked up. It was her doll, and it was breathing right down her neck.
  1515. >“You can breathe?” she said.
  1516. >“I guess so,” it said.
  1517. >Then it started to giggle like a child.
  1518. >Rainbow Dash tried to poke it in the ribs a few times before she questioned herself.
  1519. >She put her hooves over its mouth.
  1520. >“Stop that,” she said.
  1521. >“Sorry. It’s just that I never thought you’d be in the closet with me. It’s kind of funny.”
  1522. >“It is not funny. Nothing about this is funny. You shouldn’t be here. You shouldn’t even be alive. This is like a nightmare.”
  1523. >It stopped laughing and the closet was silent. Dash pulled her hooves away.
  1524. >“Sorry,” she said. “It’s just that you and I aren’t where we’re supposed to be. I’m not really sure how to explain it to you.”
  1525. >“We’re not home,” it said.
  1526. >“Yeah, that’s it.”
  1527. >“I fell when I first knew that I could move,” it said. “It was dark. I woke up on the ground and didn’t know how to get back to you. I saw him running away and I followed him here hoping that you would come for me. I didn’t say a word until I saw you in the window.”
  1528. >“So, no pony has seen you?”
  1529. >“No,” it said. “I hid because that’s what I always did when we were apart. I would hide in the dark and dream.”
  1530. >“What did you dream of?”
  1531. >“I was lonely, so I mostly just dreamed of you coming back. I was always worried that one day you wouldn’t need me anymore, worried that one of your tricks would work, he would like you, and you would put me away forever.”
  1532. >“Well, that definitely didn’t happen.”
  1533. >“It was a choice that I thought a lot about. I guess they were my nightmares.”
  1534. >Dash thought for a moment.
  1535. >“What did you dream of when we were together?”
  1536. >“I didn’t dream,” it said. “But I did make wishes. I wished that I could feel as completely as you do, and that I could say things to you that I knew you wanted to hear, that would make you happy.”
  1537. >“So you were alive all that time I had you?”
  1538. >“No, not really, but I can remember how it felt.”
  1539. >“How did it feel?”
  1540. >It thought for a moment.
  1541. >“Basically, not awesome.”
  1542. >Dash looked at him for a moment before breaking into a short fit of laughter that she quickly had to cover with her hooves.
  1543. >“It was that memorable, huh?” she said.
  1544. >“Just really boring, except when you were around. Today was kind of boring, too, until you showed up.”
  1545. >Dash suppressed another laugh which made her sides hurt.
  1546. >She hit the doll in its chest with one hoof, and when her hoof came back it felt wet.
  1547. >She could smell that it was sweat; she smelled his skin.
  1548. >In the darkness there seemed to be a heartbeat that was reaching out to her.
  1549. >She leaned into it and felt it more as she pressed her cheek against his chest.
  1550. >The hands that had been holding her were now rubbing up and down along her coat.
  1551. >Dash pulled back and looked at him again.
  1552. >Slowly it was sinking in to her and she was realizing that her doll had not only come to life, but that it had come to life for her.
  1553. >Something between her legs began to twitch, something that was touching her and that she recognized.
  1554. >Her face flushed as her doll started to rock back and forth against her.
  1555. >She felt her flanks were resting on something stiff and warm that made her squirm with feelings that she had pent up from that morning.
  1556. >Its hands brushed their way along her coat, trailed up her neck and came to rest on her cheek.
  1557. >She could feel its eyes on her.
  1558. >“Dash I want you,” it said to her. “Am I good enough for you?”
  1559. >A million thoughts came to Dash’s mind but only one feeling flew through her body.
  1560. >She pressed his hand against her cheek—and that’s when they were suddenly blinded by the light from the kitchen.
  1561. >The human stared at the sight in his broom closet with a frozen face of shock.
  1562. >The doll paused just short of kissing Dash’s neck. She could feel his breath on her skin.
  1563. >She took one look at the human before reaching forward and shutting the broom closet door so they could continue.
  1564.  
  1565.  
  1566.  
  1567. [c5]
  1568.  
  1569.  
  1570. >It had been another hard night at the Barnyard Bargains warehouse for you.
  1571. >Aside from the usual deliveries, lately you’ve also had to find time to unload the extra product that was being sold because of Nightmare Night.
  1572. >Your arms and back were sore after eight hours of rushing around and picking up dozens of pony-sized wood crates.
  1573. >You were glad when the first sliver of the morning sun came up and you could trudge home on weary legs.
  1574. >Besides eating a pre-cooked dinner in silence or trying to salvage enough energy for an hour’s work on your ship in a bottle, there were no excitements awaiting your returns home in the morning.
  1575. >You were nearly always in bed by the time the sun hit your window.
  1576. >You did have one frequent visitor.
  1577. >She often rapped on your door within your first hour of sleep.
  1578. >If you did not come right away she would send her voice up in a call to your second-floor window.
  1579. >“Yoo-hoo, there’s a lady in waiting down here,” she’d say.
  1580. >Presently, at nine, Rarity came by to see you.
  1581. >You first met her three months before and she had taken great pains to keep in continuous company with you ever since, even though she had only been welcomed once.
  1582. >Still, everyone in town knew of her affection for you, and even the stallions you worked nights with all teased you over your disinterest in her.
  1583. >The two of you sat across from each other in the living room.
  1584. >On the coffee table between you both sat your ship in a bottle.
  1585. >The box had said it was a three mast galleon, only you hadn’t added the masts yet.
  1586. >Two hours before Rarity came you had set out to work on your ship for the first time in nearly a week.
  1587. >But since then it had become a subject for investigation, as the body of the ship had somehow broken in half while it had been out of sight.
  1588. >Rarity eyed the sorry ship with a frown that stretched down along her face’s reflection in the glass.
  1589. >“Perhaps the glue wasn’t strong enough.”
  1590. It was holding just fine until now.
  1591. >“On the bright side, it does look marvelous if you ignore the split, which is to say that you were on the right track.”
  1592. >You mumbled an insincere thanks and sunk down into your chair until the tip of your chin pressed into your chest.
  1593. >“Well, it is the weekend,” she said. “You’ll have plenty of time to figure out what went wrong, after your kite flying with Starlight of course.”
  1594. Not happening.
  1595. >“What was that? You mumbled, dear.”
  1596. I said that I’m not going to another of Starlight’s kite flier’s club meetings. Didn’t she tell you how bad I was last weekend? My kite must’ve been made of lead because I couldn’t get it up at all no matter how fast I ran. After I nearly tripped over this annoying grey filly, Starlight got my kite up for me. Then it got stuck in a tree right away. Starlight let me practice with hers while she tried to get it out and I ended up hitting some little pegasus kid with it. The string wrapped around his neck and he went down right into that same tree where Starlight was. Tore her kite to shreds on impact. After that she sort of gave me a look like she wanted to give me a cutie mark just so she could steal it from me.
  1597. >You sighed and shook your head. Rarity was silent.
  1598. >“So, I guess you’re not going back then.”
  1599. Not unless I want a cutie mark, or to seriously upset a child’s mother with my returning presence.
  1600. >“Well,” she said, “I guess that means you are free this Sunday then.”
  1601. >You frowned dully at the shrewd sideways glance Rarity directed your way.
  1602. You better not be asking for a date.
  1603. >“Not this time.”
  1604. Fine. What’d you have in mind?
  1605. >“How would you like to attend the community center’s Nightmare Night party with me this Sunday?”
  1606. That’s a date. What did I literally just tell you earlier?
  1607. >“I assure you that this is not a romantic engagement.”
  1608. So you want me to take you to a party just as a friend?
  1609. >“That’s right.”
  1610. I can’t do it.
  1611. >“Well, why not?”
  1612. Because you don’t consider me just a friend.
  1613. >With solemn eyes Rarity stared at you and set her lips together in a firm thin line.
  1614. >“That’s true, and I understand why you would rather not wish to attend this party with me. But would you at least hear me out on something?”
  1615. >You softened the stern look on your face.
  1616. >It’s not that you didn’t like Rarity; she just wanted something from you that you couldn’t give her.
  1617. >You honestly wouldn’t mind going to this party with Rarity and having a good time, but it’d be wrong of you to lead her on in any possible way like that.
  1618. >Still, with Starlight holding a grudge towards you, and with your ship currently resting in Davey Jones’ Locker, it’s not like you had anything to look forward to this weekend.
  1619. What’s on your mind?
  1620. >“Every year the community holds a costume contest for Nightmare Night where they award prizes for the three best costumes that enter. I was hoping that you and I could enter it.”
  1621. I don’t have a costume.
  1622. >Rarity raised a single eyebrow in your direction.
  1623. >“Darling, you do realize who it is you’re talking to. I’ll make you one.”
  1624. Well, what are the prizes?
  1625. >“First prize—because there’s really no need to trifle over the other places—is a gift card with two-hundred bits on it.”
  1626. I’m starting to see why it might be good to enter. Anything else?
  1627. >Rarity shrugged. “More gift cards. Second place gets you one for Sugar Cube Corner.”
  1628. Well, I can give that Starlight after we win. Then maybe she won’t want to kill me anymore.
  1629. >Rarity folded her ears and looked down at the floor.
  1630. You okay?
  1631. >“You sound so sure that we’ll win if we enter.”
  1632. Why wouldn’t we? Everybody knows how talented you are.
  1633. >“Sweet of you to say,” she said. “But the simple truth is that I’ve entered this contest every year since I was a filly, and I haven’t won it yet.”
  1634. You’re kidding.
  1635. >“I wish I was,” she said. “I’ve always lost, though I do so with grace, poise and dignity.”
  1636. Well, tell me that you’ve at least been in second place before.
  1637. >Rarity winced and retreated further from your eyes.
  1638. Sorry. I just don’t get how this is possible. You’re the most talented pony with a needle and thread in Equestria.
  1639. >“Hardly,” Rarity said.
  1640. >She bowed her head to hide the color that was rising on her cheeks.
  1641. >After a moment she raised her eyes to you.
  1642. >“So does this mean that you’ll help me win this year?”
  1643. I think I should. You deserve to win at least once.
  1644. >“Thank you, darling. You should stop by tomorrow afternoon so we can get you in costume.”
  1645. >Her engaging smile gave you pause.
  1646. In costume?
  1647. >“Yes, I’ll have everything ready for you tomorrow.”
  1648. But I didn’t tell you what I wanted to go as.
  1649. >“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that. I’ve got it all worked out already.”
  1650. >She then got out of her chair, saying that she had a lot of work that needed to be done before tomorrow arrived.
  1651. >She approached you on your side and, touching your thigh with her hoof, thanked you sincerely for agreeing to help her.
  1652. >Then she stepped out of the room with a giddy trot, humming to herself, while you watched her go and wondered anxiously about what you had just gotten yourself into.
  1653.  
  1654. >The next afternoon you walked sluggishly across town to Carousel Boutique.
  1655. >You shielded your eyes from the sun and yawned often as you were not used to being awake at this hour.
  1656. >But you had agreed to help Rarity, so you pushed on.
  1657. >At least it felt good to be wearing your street clothes again, especially your black suit and tie.
  1658. >You had gotten so used to just wearing your work jumpsuit that you had forgotten how nice clean clothes feel to wear.
  1659. >You met Sweetie Belle on the street. She approached you.
  1660. >“My sister wanted me to tell you that she’s expecting you momentarily,” she said.
  1661. Yes, I know. What are you doing today?
  1662. >“There’s a group of ponies waiting for me, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo at our Crusader Camp. We’re going to help them find their special talents.”
  1663. Great. I’ve heard of your camp before. If I was a kid, I would’ve liked to have gone to it myself.
  1664. >“Are you really going to try and help my sister win the costume contest this year?”
  1665. Yeah.
  1666. >“Well, thank you for doing that for her,” she said.
  1667. Oh, uh, sure. No problem. Why thank me, though?
  1668. >“Because that means that I don’t have to deal with her this year,” she said.
  1669. >She cringed. “Especially after she loses again.”
  1670. What’s that supposed to mean?
  1671. >“It’s nothing. Anyway, I gotta go.”
  1672. >She started trotting away before you could say goodbye.
  1673. >You watched her until she had gone out of sight, wondering what exactly you were getting yourself into.
  1674. >You just hoped Rarity wouldn’t lose again this year.
  1675. >You don’t want to find out just what it was that made Sweetie so anxious.
  1676. >Later you stopped to look at one of the flyers for the Nightmare Night party that had been left around town.
  1677. >That was when you found out that first prize was not just a gift card.
  1678. >Rarity had conveniently failed to mention to you that there was also an all-expenses paid trip to Canterlot for a weekend, and that you could bring guests.
  1679. >You were sitting on a stool in the dressing room of Carousel Boutique when you took the flyer out from your pocket and showed it to Rarity.
  1680. >Her eyes behind her glasses shrunk.
  1681. >“Okay, so maybe I did knowingly omit certain details,” she said. “But I did it solely for the sake of simplicity.”
  1682. Simplicity?
  1683. >“Because this is still about you and I winning the costume contest,” she said. “If there happens to be a romantic weekend in the waiting, then that is just serendipity. But it is not the goal.”
  1684. Right. Winning the contest is.
  1685. >Rarity nodded and began adjusting the lights in the room so that they shone on your face.
  1686. >She said that while she hated to cover up such naturally handsome features, she did have to apply some makeup for your costume.
  1687. >It was going to take a few hours and you didn’t like the idea of having makeup on, but there was something about the way that she had phrased her order that sold you on the idea.
  1688. >Besides it seemed to be the only sure way to both help you win and keep Rarity focused only on winning.
  1689. >So it was something that you were all for until Rarity started brushing your cheeks a dark green color.
  1690. Rarity, don’t you think this makeup is a bit too colorful?
  1691. >“Please hold still,” she said. “No. I’d hardly even call olive drab a color myself. But it’s what necessary.”
  1692. Necessary for what exactly?
  1693. >“Would you please hold still?” she said. “And it’s for your costume.”
  1694. I think it’s about time you told me what I’m going as.
  1695. >“Don’t you want it to be a surprise?” she said with a sheepish smile.
  1696. >Then, frowning, “Hold still. I almost hit your eye that time, and I need to keep that area clean for the black brush later on.”
  1697. >A while later—after Rarity had crossed the room and picked the brush up from where it had landed after you hit it—she was coming out from behind the changing curtain to show you her costume.
  1698. >She was wearing a white lab coat with a pink collar, rose-tinted goggles with black rims, and black sleeves that covered her legs.
  1699. >She struck a grand pose and announced with a very poor-sounding foreign dialect:
  1700. >“I am the beautifully mad scientist.”
  1701. >Smiling with all her teeth she held her pose in the silence as if waiting for the flashes to start going off.
  1702. >You grabbed one of the lights and accommodated her, leading her to shade her eyes with her arm.
  1703. >A moment later she was looking from your face to the bulb and making adjustments to the light you had moved, all while muttering under her breath about how she had placed them all just perfectly before you had decided to be funny.
  1704. >It was around this time that Rarity revealed to you what your entirely unflattering costume choice was.
  1705. >You were to be the monster that had been created by the beautifully mad scientist.
  1706. >This was why you had to sit on a stool for nearly three hours so that your face, neck and hands could be colored dark green, while your eyes were colored black to give them a hollowed-out look.
  1707. >She had you dress in a dark shirt and jacket, drab slacks, and black boots with soles so thick on the bottom that you knocked a crack in Rarity’s ceiling with your head when you first stood up.
  1708. >You both looked each other over in a floor-length mirror, your face gaunt and Rarity smiling broadly.
  1709. >“We’re going to win.”
  1710. Are you sure? Don’t our costumes seem kind of spare?
  1711. >“It’s the theme, darling,” she said. “Our costumes tell a story together.”
  1712. Sure. But what kind of story? Why would the scientist make the monster bigger than himself?
  1713. >“Because she knew that she could control the monster.”
  1714. >When evening faded in you and pony Frankenstein left Carousel Boutique.
  1715. >She was so excited that she kept up a light trot the whole way to the community center.
  1716. >Mayor Mare held the sign-up sheet for the contest.
  1717. >“It’s so nice to see you two together,” she said, looking at you both.
  1718. We’re just here as friends, Mayor.
  1719. >Mayor Mare kept smiling as though you hadn’t said anything.
  1720. >Rarity stared at the sign-up sheet for a long time with a serious look on her face.
  1721. >When she noticed she was being watched she quickly signed your names and returned the sheet to the Mayor.
  1722. >She turned to you and smiled.
  1723. >“Let’s get a picture,” Rarity said.
  1724. >You both went to have your picture taken by a brown bespectacled stallion with a short blonde tail.
  1725. >He kept chewing his bottom lip and squinting at you.
  1726. >“Maybe just a little lower,” he said.
  1727. >You had already been squatting for a minute when he said that.
  1728. >“A little lower, maybe.”
  1729. Look, buddy, if you want me to crouch down then just say so. I’m not a jack.
  1730. >He nodded quickly and waved his hoof towards you.
  1731. >Rarity had kept smiling the entire time under stress and tried to convince herself that while the look she was wearing was not flattering it at least lent authenticity to her costumed role.
  1732. >You crouched down and placed your head next to Rarity’s while he looked in his camera.
  1733. >He only looked for a moment.
  1734. >“You’re not in the shot,” he said.
  1735. How can I not be in the shot?
  1736. >“Well, only half of you is in the shot,” he said. “You’re too wide.”
  1737. >You grimaced.
  1738. >One of Rarity’s eyes began to twitch.
  1739. Look, can you just move the camera back a bit or something.
  1740. >“No, no,” he said, shaking his head. “I set this up so I could get very good shots. I can’t just move the camera without adjusting everything else too. Maybe if you just moved up a little—”
  1741. >“I can’t stand it anymore,” Rarity shrieked.
  1742. >The stallion flinched as she pointed at him.
  1743. >“You take the shot. Take it right now or I’ll . . .”
  1744. >The flash went off.
  1745. >That picture of half your left eye peeking out from the edge of the photo and Rarity looking forward and screaming is still hung up proudly in your hallway to this day—despite Rarity’s best efforts to steal and destroy it ever since.
  1746. >You and Rarity sat at a table.
  1747. >You were checking out the party while she hid her face from everybody that seemed to look at her.
  1748. Would you stop hiding already?
  1749. >“I made such a dreadful scene. Every pony is watching me now.”
  1750. They’re just checking out our costumes. They could care less if you freaked out on that dork with the camera.
  1751. >“Was I really so bad, though?”
  1752. Well, actually, I think you made him cry.
  1753. >Rarity sighed. “I couldn’t help myself. My face hurt from all that smiling, and I was starting to sweat under all those lights.”
  1754. At least you sold everyone on your whole mad scientist angle.
  1755. >Rarity faked a smiled.
  1756. >A couple of ponies passing by looked at her and started whispering. She flinched.
  1757. Would you please just hold still? I can’t stand to see you fidgeting like that. Is something wrong with you?
  1758. >Rarity was silent for a moment.
  1759. >“I have a bit of a confession to make. I haven’t just not won any of the community costume contests, I’ve lost them.”
  1760. >She turned to you, fully expecting a reaction. You blinked.
  1761. >It seemed silly to point out to Rarity that she had been redundant, so you didn’t do it, because it would have been silly and redundant to do so.
  1762. >“I’ve lost them,” she said, “every single time that I’ve entered. And always to the same pony.”
  1763. What pony?
  1764. >Rarity’s eyes turned to a glare as she looked vengefully before her.
  1765. >“Bon Bon.”
  1766. >You recognized the name.
  1767. >She was a cream-colored mare with curly, pink and dark-blue mane that ran the candy store.
  1768. Why would Bon Bon always win the contest? Is she even here? I haven’t seen her.
  1769. >“She and Lyra signed up on the sheet,” Rarity said. “And there’s no point in looking for her here. She’s a master of disguise. She could be any one of the ponies here.”
  1770. Seriously? She’s that good.
  1771. >“She’s the best,” Rarity said.
  1772. >She leaned across the table and towards your face, a manic look in her eye.
  1773. >“She’s so good, that she could even be me right now, as we speak.”
  1774. >She narrowed her eyes and poked her hoof into your chest.
  1775. >“She could even be you right now.”
  1776. She’s over there.
  1777. >“What?” Rarity flipped around in her chair.
  1778. >Over by the entrance near the crowded dancefloor, Bon Bon and Lyra stood together.
  1779. >Lyra was easily recognizable, as her costume seemed to just be her wearing a suit and tie, but you could not see her tail, and it looked like she had shaved the mane on the back of her neck off up to her ears.
  1780. >Bon Bon was a bit harder to spot as she had changed her entire appearance save for her mane.
  1781. >Her coat was now white. She wore light blue eyeshadow and long false eyelashes.
  1782. >Her tail was spiraled and colored a dark purple while her cutie mark had been changed from three wrapped candies to three clear diamond shards.
  1783. >You turned to Rarity so you could ask her something but she was grinding her teeth at what she saw before her.
  1784. >You stared in shock as Bon Bon put on a wig that matched her tail and turned herself into Rarity before your very eyes.
  1785. >The camera stallion ran away from her screaming when they tried to ask him for a picture.
  1786. >“She’ll never have my body,” Rarity said. “She only wishes that she could get that right.”
  1787. She works at a candy store. How the hell did she manage to make herself look exactly like you?
  1788. >“She does not look exactly like me,” Rarity said.
  1789. Damn near.
  1790. >“But not half as good.”
  1791. Right. Of course.
  1792. >Ponies from all over the party were gathering around Lyra and Bon Bon, all of them looking back and forth from them to your table for comparison.
  1793. >Bon Bon made a show of flipping her new mane around and striking poses while Lyra tried to stand up on her two back legs but kept falling over.
  1794. So, where the hell do her skills come from?
  1795. >“I don’t know,” Rarity said. “I’ve tried to find out, but she’s very good at hiding whatever her secret may be.”
  1796. This is a bunch of crap. Is she even allowed to dress up that way?
  1797. >“Oh, I don’t know,” Rarity said. “All I know is that she is going down this year. I am not going to be beaten by myself. It would be too humiliating.”
  1798. I don’t know, Rarity. Lyra’s costume is tame, but hers completely makes up for it. All we’ve really got is theme.
  1799. >“Theme is everything. Can’t you see theirs?”
  1800. They have a theme?
  1801. >“They’re us.”
  1802. >You looked again at Lyra, who fell over onto Bon Bon’s back, until your eyes burst with recognition.
  1803. That’s supposed to be me? She doesn’t even look like me.
  1804. >“Well, she’s quite close.”
  1805. No, I don’t see it.
  1806. >You watched them for a while.
  1807. >Bon Bon kept sidling up to Lyra’s side in a comely fashion but Lyra made a show of ignoring her, holding her nose up high and not even looking at her friend.
  1808. >She stepped away from Bon Bon, who fell forward slightly and, with nothing to lean on, began to wail.
  1809. >Everybody watched her and laughed as she rested the back of her hoof over her forehead, swooned backwards, and then started rolling around on the floor and bawling uncontrollably.
  1810. >Lyra continued ignoring her.
  1811. >You and Rarity were both glaring at them now.
  1812. >“I certainly do not act like that when you reject my advances,” Rarity said, “at least not anymore.”
  1813. They’re making fun of us and everyone is eating it up.
  1814. >Bon Bon held a bouquet of red roses out to Lyra, who turned to acknowledge her only so that she could cast a spell to set the roses on fire.
  1815. >They quickly burned to ash and fell out from Bon Bon’s hooves.
  1816. >Everybody laughed and she started crying again.
  1817. Idiots. I can’t even do magic.
  1818. >“We cannot let them get away with this,” Rarity said.
  1819. I agree. I don’t think I could live with myself if you and I lost to those scumbags now.
  1820. >“They’ll see,” Rarity said. “They will rue the day that they crossed the beautifully mad . . . They’re coming this way. Smile, quickly.”
  1821. >You pursed your lips as Rarity wore a big phony smile for the two approaching ponies.
  1822. >Their faces reflected hers.
  1823. >Bon Bon spoke first in an exaggerated parody of Rarity’s accent:
  1824. >“Hello, darlings. Do you recognize us?”
  1825. >“Yes, we did,” Rarity said. “And we’re quite simply flattered by your portrayals.”
  1826. >“Think nothing of it, darling,” Bon Bon said. “All we did was dress up. The rest is all you, of course, darling.”
  1827. >“What are you guys dressed up as?” Lyra said.
  1828. >“I am the beautifully mad scientist,” Rarity said, “and this is the monster I have created.”
  1829. >They turned your way. You grunted. They turned back, still smiling.
  1830. >“Sounds lovely, darlings,” Bon Bon said. “Well, I’d love to stay and chat, but you know how these social affairs are, darling. One must mingle if one is to be the type of pony that every pony should know.”
  1831. >“Well, don’t let us keep you,” Rarity said.
  1832. >“So long, darlings,” Bon Bon said.
  1833. >“Bye, Rarity,” Lyra said. “Thanks for the suit.”
  1834. >Rarity watched them until she was sure that they were gone before she let her face curdle into an expression of anger and annoyance.
  1835. >“I do not say darling every time I speak,” she hissed out. “Did you notice that she didn’t even compliment the theme of our costume?”
  1836. Sure. But what did Lyra mean about her suit?
  1837. >“I made it for her. She ordered it months ago. I didn’t know she was going to save it until tonight.”
  1838. So, you made her costume.
  1839. >“I can’t help it if she orders it from me. I have to make a living.”
  1840. Have you made her costume before?
  1841. >“Oh, sometimes,” she said. “But Bon Bon always makes her own costumes. I never know what she’s going to go as until she reveals it here tonight.”
  1842. >Rarity sighed and asked if you could be a gentleman and get a lady some punch.
  1843. >As you walked across the room to the snack table you looked at all of the ponies that were here tonight and wondered just how many of them had ordered their costumes from Rarity.
  1844. >When you brought Rarity her punch she sipped at it thoughtfully.
  1845. >Her mind was distracted and her eyes were moody and distant.
  1846. >You said her name so she’d look at you.
  1847. We’re going to win tonight.
  1848. >“I hope so,” she said.
  1849. >She finished her punch quickly and then asked you to dance.
  1850. >On the dance floor the two of you stared at each other and moved slowly as you were both aware of the other dancers around you.
  1851. >But soon you both had loosened up and started dancing fast.
  1852. >You were a terrible dancer, stepping on the tails of other ponies and accidentally bumping into them with your legs.
  1853. >But Rarity did not seem to mind.
  1854. >The two of you created a move where Rarity would walk backwards towards you and you would jump over her.
  1855. >Then you would jump backwards and she would dive under your legs and slide on the dance floor.
  1856. >She was very nimble despite her wearing that lab coat.
  1857. >You both quit dancing.
  1858. >As you were not exactly talented at schmoozing, you sat at your table while Rarity went around mingling with the other party guests.
  1859. >Pinkie Pie showed up to the party with the Cakes.
  1860. >They all wore big afros, sunglasses, beads, clock necklaces and all kinds of other goofy accessories.
  1861. >Their bodies and everything that they wore was covered in gold luster dust, and they all moved and struck poses in sync with each other when they were together.
  1862. >Everyone watched them when they moved about the room, including Rarity, who had come back and said that she saw a guaranteed win in them.
  1863. >“But surely not for first place,” Rarity said.
  1864. How is this contest being judged?
  1865. >“Public opinion. Haven’t you noticed Mayor making the rounds? She goes and asks every pony who they think should win, and then she makes a decision.”
  1866. She hasn’t asked us.
  1867. >“Naturally,” she said, “we’re entered in the contest.”
  1868. >Soon the party started to wind down.
  1869. >Everybody seemed to grow weary of dancing, eating, and conversing.
  1870. >New ponies stopped showing up and everybody began glancing impatiently towards the stage where the winners would be announced.
  1871. >Though everybody had come to the party in costume the general opinion of the room was that there were only a certain few attendees that had costumes deserving to win the contest, and you and Rarity were among those few.
  1872. >Mayor Mare took the stage.
  1873. >The party hushed and you and Rarity shared knowing glances with each other before looking to the stage.
  1874. >After a thankful speech that was pushed with the names of all kinds of local businesses, all the lights on stage turned on.
  1875. >“And now to announce the winners of this year’s costume contest,” Mayor Mare said.
  1876. >Rarity stared intensely at the lighted spots on the stage. You whispered to her:
  1877. You nervous?
  1878. >“A little,” she said. “I had to smile and pretend to laugh when every pony asked me about Bon Bon’s costume. I’m afraid that they all think I liked it.”
  1879. >She leaned forward as Mayor Mare began speaking again.
  1880. >“We’re going to win this tonight,” Rarity said.
  1881. >She was trembling in her seat.
  1882. >You watched her warily from the corner of your eye, remembering her outburst with the camera stallion and Sweetie’s nervous behavior earlier.
  1883. >“Our third place winner, who will receive a fifty bit gift card,” Mayor Mare said, “is Twist, for her Chewbacca costume.”
  1884. >A filly wearing a cheap Chewbacca mask and a flimsy cardboard strap that was wrapped diagonally around her body took the stage.
  1885. >You were annoyed and unimpressed, until she leaned close to the microphone and performed what was easily the greatest Chewbacca roar that you have ever heard.
  1886. >It was monstrous. You swear it shook every table in the room.
  1887. >Rarity applauded with everyone else but said:
  1888. >“We’re still in this. They always pick a foal to be third place. It’s purely a filler placing.”
  1889. >“Our second place winner, who will receive a gift card for Sugar Cube Corner good for one-hundred bits,” Mayor Mare said, “is the golden family, Pinkie Pie, Mr. Cake, and Mrs. Cake.”
  1890. >They took the stage amidst applause. Pinkie Pie took the microphone.
  1891. >“Thanks, every pony,” she said. “I’m having a cookie party at Sugar Cube Corner after this and you’re all invited. So make sure you’ll be there.”
  1892. >There were numerous cheers from the audience as Pinkie Pie and the Cakes all struck another pose.
  1893. >Rarity smirked.
  1894. >“I told you they wouldn’t place first,” she said.
  1895. >Then her face tightened as Mayor Mare took back the microphone.
  1896. >“And now for our first place winner,” Mayor Mare said.
  1897. >You watched Rarity from the corner of your eye.
  1898. >She was trembling again.
  1899. >Her hooves were pressed down on the table and she leaned towards the stage.
  1900. >If you lost you were going to have to get her out of here quickly before she went off.
  1901. >You started to tremble too as the Mayor spoke.
  1902. >“Our first place winners, who will receive a gift card for two-hundred bits and all-expenses paid trip to Canterlot, are both Bon Bon and Lyra, who dressed up in tribute as Rarity and our own human resident.”
  1903. >You winced as Bon Bon squealed and hugged Lyra, with everyone in the room applauding them.
  1904. >You turned to Rarity.
  1905. >She was perfectly still.
  1906. >She held her head down and had a look of absolute defeat in her eyes.
  1907. >Then as Bon Bon and Lyra took the stage she knit her brows and looked up at them.
  1908. >She held them in her eyes and had started to tremble again.
  1909. >Her muzzle crinkled.
  1910. >Her mouth began to twitch slightly.
  1911. >You dreaded the silence that fell over the room as the applause ceased and Bon Bon took the microphone.
  1912. >“Thank you, every pony,” she said. “I’m very happy to have won this year’s contest. This is my favorite time of year and I always look forward to dressing up for you all.”
  1913. >There was more applause. Bon Bon and Lyra exchanged happy looks with each other.
  1914. >“Lyra and I had hoped that we would win first prize this year,” Bon Bon said, “because my cousin Sweet Star is getting married next month to a stallion that she loves, and we wanted to be able to give her something very special. Well, thanks to you all, my cousin and her fiancé are going to be honeymooning in Canterlot with two-hundred bits all to themselves.”
  1915. >Bon Bon and Lyra left the stage to one last round of assent.
  1916. >Halfway through it Rarity seemed to sigh, her body losing all its tension, and she weakly applauded with the crowd, a reserved smile on her face and a dreamy look in her eyes.
  1917.  
  1918. >You were both walking home together in the dark quiet streets.
  1919. >Rarity had asked you if you wanted to leave immediately after the contest had ended.
  1920. >You had said yes, and she had been moody, distant and silent ever since.
  1921. >It was so unlike her that you had been searching your mind for something to say to her, something far from the contest, Bon Bon, and the entire disappointing night.
  1922. >She eventually spoke first.
  1923. >“I’m sorry that we didn’t win tonight. I know that you didn’t want to go to the party, and now this has all just been a big waste of our time.”
  1924. No it wasn’t. I had fun with you.
  1925. >“Well, I’m glad. But that doesn’t change the fact that I still made us lose.”
  1926. You didn’t make us lose. It was just bad luck.
  1927. >“Oh, bad luck. I suppose it’s always bad luck that I just happen to lose to that awful pony every year? No, I don’t think so.”
  1928. >Her bitterness turned your eyes away and you said nothing else.
  1929. >In a little while she started crying and was trying to hide the small noises of it from you.
  1930. >You both stopped in the street.
  1931. Rarity, it’s fine.
  1932. >“I’m just not even going to enter next year. I don’t have to. No pony is making me. Why should I be a loser? Why should I seek out humiliation? I don’t deserve it. I’m not a loser and I don’t have to prove anything to any pony, do I?”
  1933. That’s right. You don’t.
  1934. >“She can have her silly little prize or give it away, it doesn’t matter to me. I didn’t even really want it. Why would I want it? What could you and I have done with it? Why would we . . . ?”
  1935. >She lost her voice. Her sad and open eyes turned fully up to you.
  1936. >When she saw how you looked at her, her face clenched up.
  1937. >You crouched down and she threw herself into your arms and started to sob.
  1938. >“I didn’t have a chance,” she said. “Even you knew that I’d never have won.”
  1939. No I didn’t. I wanted you to win. I believed in you.
  1940. >“Oh, no you didn’t. You were just humoring me. You don’t know what it’s like to keep on losing every time you try to do something.”
  1941. Yes I do. I’ve never won a contest before. I’ve never won anything before in my life. If either one of us was a loser, then it’d be me.
  1942. >Rarity pulled back from you and looked silently in your eyes.
  1943. >“You can’t possibly mean that.”
  1944. It’s true, though. You have your career, and your friends, and all that going for you. I don’t have anything like that. All I’ve got is a crappy warehouse job that anybody could do. I don’t have any special talents. Even back home I was never any good at anything I tried to do. Even though I kept looking it just seemed like nothing that was out there was ever going to be for me. Truth is that I was going nowhere fast when I ended up here. I left without ever having made my mark on anything, and it seems like it’s going to be the same story over here too.
  1945. >Rarity sniffled and wiped her face while you avoided her eyes.
  1946. >Now that she knew of your greatest shame perhaps you would lose her as well.
  1947. >She stared at you.
  1948. >Then she moved forward to wrap her arms around you for a hug.
  1949. >She brushed her cheek against yours as she turned and placed her lips on your cheek.
  1950. >She hummed and held your head with her kiss.
  1951. >When she finished she rested her head on your shoulder.
  1952. >“You shouldn’t believe such awful things about yourself,” she said. “You’ve made your mark on somebody, even if you weren’t trying to.”
  1953. >You held each other tight.
  1954. Thank you, beautiful scientist.
  1955. >“No,” she said, “thank you for tonight.”
  1956. Let’s go home.
  1957. >But neither of you moved.
  1958. >You closed your eyes in her embrace as your heart soared into proud and happy places where it had never been before.
  1959.  
  1960.  
  1961. [c6]
  1962.  
  1963.  
  1964. >After you had been taken away from your home to be left stranded in Equestria, you nearly killed yourself through neglect during those first hard months.
  1965. >You would not eat, clean yourself, or even leave the empty house Princess Twilight had you staying in.
  1966. >Now when you had to start over you found that you could not.
  1967. >Everything you had worked for had gone and you were left with nothing.
  1968. >It was as if you had not even existed before coming here, but you did, and you remembered it even though there was no hope left of ever getting what you had lost back—that was disappearing.
  1969. >To truly disappear was to suddenly become a black spot in someone’s memory, to be cast down into an abyss until you were somewhere where you no longer existed.
  1970. >Through your ordeal you had developed a fear of disappearing.
  1971. >It had happened to you so suddenly the first time that you were convinced that it could happen again at any moment.
  1972. >From then on fear had crippled your life.
  1973. >You always made sure that you knew where you were, that you could see your body, that you had all of your faculties and that whatever was going on around you made perfect sense.
  1974. >Twilight and her friends began coming over to check on you when you had stopped leaving the house, and each time they left you would watch them from the spot in bed where you were always laid down, thinking to yourself that this could be the last time any of them would ever have seen you.
  1975. >They often did not look back once they had said goodbye.
  1976. >You were scared of the dark and you hated sleep so much that you were never unconscious for more than four hours every day.
  1977. >In bed at night, if you felt yourself nodding, you would begin to tremble beneath the sheets, tossing and turning, and jolting yourself awake whenever you fell completely into sleep.
  1978. >At nights you would sometimes walk the quiet streets, made incomplete by the dark, and stick to staying under the sad and lonely streetlights, so that someone might see you should you finally disappear completely.
  1979. >The only reason you did not die was because Princess Twilight and her friends helped you, but it was Fluttershy who saved what was left of your life.
  1980. >You remembered how she would sit in the chair next to your bed and stay up with you during the night.
  1981. >She never knew why you hated to sleep so much, but she always made sure that you got enough rest.
  1982. >Her presence always eased your restlessness.
  1983. >After scaring you once she started leaving notes whenever she had to leave while you were asleep.
  1984. >They were written on soft pink stationary that felt and smelled like rose petals.
  1985. >You kept these notes in a desk drawer in your room.
  1986. >After she had gone and you could sleep no longer, you would think of her notes and try to hear her voice speak aloud those words which she had left behind for you.
  1987. >Before you even recognized these ponies as equals you felt something in her voice that connected you through a common bond of shared soul.
  1988. >She cared for you long enough, and with more kindness, that you began to care for yourself as she wished you would.
  1989. >With her help you got well, got a job with a moving company, and became a respectable face in the community.
  1990. >You became friends with all the ponies who had helped you in those early days but it was Fluttershy that was most precious to you.
  1991. >Often you would meet her at her cottage, she would say goodbye to her animals, and the two of you would walk together along the green fields that bordered the Everfree Forest near her cottage, speaking of that which you both held most dear.
  1992. >Often you would both lose track of time and night fell.
  1993. >Like you Fluttershy hated the dark and to ease her fears you would hold her by the tip of her wing until you reached her cottage.
  1994. >Sometimes she would start to hum and soon you would both be singing.
  1995. ~Dadadada Da de
  1996. ~Dadadada Da de
  1997. ~She’s a woe-be-gone girl
  1998. ~Dadadada Da de
  1999. >She would offer to let you stay the night.
  2000. >Her cottage always seemed to be warm and inviting.
  2001. >Her animals would gather at the glowing windows and stare innocently at you.
  2002. >But you would never stay with her.
  2003. >You would brave your fear and walk briskly through the dark valleys and the empty quiet streets alone and with your eyes never leaving the ground.
  2004. >You would focus on the sound of your footsteps and wonder where it was that you and Fluttershy were headed together.
  2005. >Her place in your memory and in your heart was guaranteed but you always feared what that place would become should something happen that would throw you down into the abyss again.
  2006. >You engaged her less and began making excuses not to see her, but she always found time for you both.
  2007. >Somehow you would end up walking together again, but you no longer lost time as you once had.
  2008. >The gentle touch of her feathers to your skin was fading into memory.
  2009. >Towards the end she began to talk of how important it was to have at least one very close relationship with someone whom you could depend on.
  2010. >She said in a subdued voice that the happiest ponies were made of two, and that they could love and be loved.
  2011. >You showed her little interest, saying that you would always think that there were individual limits to consider; but she stubbornly, even insensitively, kept to the topic.
  2012. >Perhaps she sensed that you had grown wary of her.
  2013. >When you brought her home that evening, she turned from entering her doorway and wrapped her arms around your body.
  2014. >You tried to gently pry her off but she held tight and you heard her voice trying to reach you.
  2015. >There are no limits between us, she said: what we think is not how we feel.
  2016. >You left her standing in her doorway that night and never looked back to reconsider what you were leaving behind.
  2017. >She never extended you the same courtesy.
  2018. >She began coming over to your home often, always uninvited, to try and speak with you earnestly about her feelings, which she said that she had had since she first laid eyes on you.
  2019. >But you could not allow yourself to listen to her anymore.
  2020. >All of her words seemed insincere to you now that you knew for just how long she had been harboring her feelings towards you.
  2021. >All this time you thought she had cared completely for you, but she had had selfish motives all along.
  2022. >Now, watching her degrade herself for you, coming day after day to beg for you, you considered her to be weak, manipulative and pathetic.
  2023. >As she continued to go out of her way to see you, you began to hate her.
  2024. >You even hoped that she would die so that you could begin mourning her old self, the girl you had once wanted to live for, as completely lost.
  2025. >But her and her friends had fought a creature called the Tantabus that had escaped from them, and they all came home no worse for wear.
  2026. >On the afternoon of Nightmare Night all of Ponyville had their decorations up and costumed ponies filled the streets.
  2027. >The wind whistled and blew solemnly into the streets from between the houses in town, chilling everything and picking up the dead leaves so that they scratched and sailed along the ground.
  2028. >The sky was overcast, and tonight the moon would be as bright and full as Princess Luna could make it.
  2029. >None of this pleased you.
  2030. >It kept getting darker earlier in the day as the year began to fade, and it was getting harder to stay awake all that time.
  2031. >Your sinking eyes burned to stay open.
  2032. >You had not gone out because you had been touched by any holiday spirit or at all charmed by the scenery of the season.
  2033. >Fluttershy had not come to see you in over a week and you found out it was because she was afraid of Nightmare Night.
  2034. >In jest you decided to send her a message stating that you wanted to see her on Nightmare Night.
  2035. >You were sure that she would agonize over the date until the last minute when her fears would overtake her and she would not show.
  2036. >Instead you saw that she was already sitting on the bench where you had asked her to meet you.
  2037. >She smiled and did not look fearful at all when you greeted each other.
  2038. I thought you were afraid of Nightmare Night?
  2039. >“I am,” she said. “I had such an awful time just getting to this part of town, having to walk past all of those scary houses, and with every pony looking like some kind of ghoul or monster. There were times when I had to duck in an alley, just so I could catch my breath. I really thought I wasn’t going to make it sometimes.”
  2040. But here you are.
  2041. >“Uh-huh,” she said, brightening up. “I just told myself that I had to tough it out, and that getting to spend some quality time with you was more important than any of my fears. This is the first time that I’ve ever actually looked forward to Nightmare Night.”
  2042. Wonderful.
  2043. >Fluttershy leaned forward, looking at you solemnly, her ears slowly folding.
  2044. >“You look tired. Are you okay?”
  2045. I’m fine. Where should we go?
  2046. >“Well, I’d like to go somewhere that’s, um, nice,” she said. “Or at least as nice as it can be, on a horrible night like this.”
  2047. >She looked around anxiously at the crowd of costumed ponies that were pouring into the street.
  2048. >“Somewhere that isn’t scary would be ideal for me right now,” she said in a shaky voice.
  2049. >A small smirk showed on your face when you saw how she trembled before the childish horrors of Nightmare Night.
  2050. >She stayed close by your side as the two of you walked the streets.
  2051. >She kept touching your leg, which you considered to be too close.
  2052. >“I’m sorry,” she said, with her eyes going in all directions. “It’s just, well, I don’t really feel safe out here like this. Surrounded by all these. . .”
  2053. >She looked around at the crowd again and, feeling overwhelmed, quickly pressed herself against your side.
  2054. >You were growing annoyed with her as the two of you entered Sugar Cube Corner.
  2055. >Pinkie Pie was manning the counter.
  2056. >“Great Luna’s Ghost,” Pinkie said to you. “You’re actually out of your house today, even though there’s not a box in your hand.”
  2057. >Then her eyes turned to Fluttershy and in a similarly shocked voice she said:
  2058. >“And Fluttershy, you’re out on Nightmare Night.”
  2059. >Her mind, slowly rising under the pressure of thought, began to brighten as her eyes went back and forth from you to Fluttershy.
  2060. >“You’re both out together,” she said quietly and shrewdly to herself, before declaring it loudly to the world with a celebratory shout to the rafters.
  2061. >Fluttershy giggled with embarrassment while you sighed.
  2062. >Pinkie looked you over.
  2063. >“You’re getting a coffee with your snack,” she said with a firm nod. “You look like you need it.”
  2064. >There were few empty tables in the bakery and you made sure to choose one that was by a window so you could see the streets.
  2065. >As soon as Fluttershy took one look at the costumed ponies still roaming outside she pulled the shade above the window down, veiling both of you in faint shadow.
  2066. >You watched as she leaned forward on the table and exhaled wearily.
  2067. Why do you hate Nightmare Night so much?
  2068. >“I don’t like anything about it. The whole point of the holiday is to scare other ponies, and I just can’t deal with it. I feel anxious walking around town when I know that it’s coming. You never know when some pony might be around the corner, waiting to run up and scare you.”
  2069. Waiting to run up and scare you?
  2070. >“That’s how I feel, anyway.”
  2071. I see. And how often does that even really happen?
  2072. >She sat up in her chair and leaned into the back.
  2073. >Her eyes were distant.
  2074. >“It used to happen a lot when I was in school. Every pony was always playing pranks on each other, trying to scare their friends, and I was caught in the middle. And whenever this time came around they always liked to play tricks on me, because I was so easy to scare.”
  2075. What kind of tricks?
  2076. >“Sometimes they would just jump out of hiding places and scream at me while I walking by. Sometimes they would tuck their tails between their legs and put on one of those fake tails that they sell at joke stores. And then, when we were in line to come back in class after recess, the pony in front of me would slam their tail in the door.”
  2077. >She looked away from you and towards the shade.
  2078. >“The worst one that I still remember is the time when some boys put a bunch of slimy glass eyes in my desk while we were out at recess. When we all came back in, and I opened my desk up to get my books, I fainted. I did it right when class started, and I even fell out of my chair, too.”
  2079. And did they do this to you every year?
  2080. >“For a while, but they didn’t do it as much as we got older. They stopped doing it on Nightmare Night, anyway.”
  2081. >You leaned towards her and said solemnly:
  2082. That’s a bad thing to go through, but that was years ago, Fluttershy. Don’t you think that Nightmare Night is safe for you now?
  2083. >“I suppose it is. But I don’t feel safe.”
  2084. But why do you think that is?
  2085. >“I don’t know. I guess maybe it’s because, when I think about it, every pony that I know had a better Nightmare Night experience than I did. It’s supposed to be the night where all of your worst nightmares come to life, but that’s only really true for me. Every pony loves it, except for me.”
  2086. >You looked around at the happy crowds and then back at her, huddled in her seat in the shade and looking pensively down at the table.
  2087. I don’t care for it either. I can’t even remember the last time I celebrated it.
  2088. >“Celebrated what?”
  2089. >Your eyes widened at your slip.
  2090. >You quickly shook your head and looked away from her.
  2091. It’s an Earth thing. I don’t want to talk about it.
  2092. >“Oh, okay,” she said with a sigh.
  2093. >You both finished your snacks and then went back out.
  2094. >This time you did not push Fluttershy away at all when she stayed close to you.
  2095. >Eventually you came to the corner of a street that was not so busy and you both sat on a bench so Fluttershy could catch her breath.
  2096. >Lining the street in front of you were dozens of lit jack o lanterns.
  2097. >All of their carved faces differed from each other but they all stared at you both with a flickering mix of agony and joy and sadness as the wind stirred the tiny flames behind their eyes.
  2098. >You let Fluttershy press her body against your side as the air was beginning to sink in and chill your skin.
  2099. >You wished she would go home so that you could do the same and warm up.
  2100. >Feeling sleepy, you yawned.
  2101. >Fluttershy noticed but you spoke up before she could say anything.
  2102. So, what do you do on Nightmare Night usually?
  2103. >“I’m used to a quiet evening at home with my animals.”
  2104. Nothing special?
  2105. >“I wouldn’t say that. We all huddle together in my room, eat candy, and play games until we’ve all gone to sleep. Sometimes we even sing songs.”
  2106. Kind of sounds like a party.
  2107. >“Well, it wasn’t always like that. It’s only recently that I’ve started to feel safe in my own home on this horrible night.”
  2108. Your animals are probably waiting for you then. Maybe you should go back.
  2109. >She stared forward at the pumpkins with a firm expression.
  2110. Fluttershy?
  2111. >She looked up at you.
  2112. >“I only want to go back if you’ll come with me. You said that you wanted to see me, and I came out for you. Now I want you to do the same for me.”
  2113. Well, if it comes to that, then I should say that I didn’t really want you to be here. I didn’t mean what I said in my note.
  2114. >“I took a chance for you. Can’t you please take one for me?”
  2115. Fluttershy, we aren’t really close anymore. We’ve been apart longer than we were ever together. There’s no point.
  2116. >“Yes there is. We used to do so much together. We were best friends and nothing was stopping us. Even when we were scared we were together, and that made it okay. Don’t you remember those times?”
  2117. I remember.
  2118. >Your body began to shift, pushing Fluttershy away as you sat hunched over.
  2119. >You looked sideways towards her.
  2120. >Her hoof hung limply against her chest beneath her puzzled and concerned eyes.
  2121. I definitely remember. But it’s over now, and no matter how much you might try to change that, how much you might hope for it to be the way you thought it should be, it’s still going to be over—and that’s just the way it is. You have to just forget about it and move on.
  2122. >“I can’t do that. I could never do that.”
  2123. You should. There are a lot of things that really should be forgotten sometimes, things that we can’t do anything about except remember and wish it’d been different. You can’t do anything when those things are inside you. All they do is destroy you and anybody that tries to help. It’s those things that you can do nothing about that you should forget.
  2124. >“You can’t really forget things that hurt you that badly. As hard as it may seem, you have to live with them, move on and hope that things will be better because you did. If you keep on, if you hope that things will be better, then they will be.”
  2125. Hope can’t replace what you’ve lost, or bring any of it back.
  2126. >“You have to believe in it first. Then you’ll see that those things you’ve lost were with you all along, they just show up differently now.”
  2127. >You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at her naïve, sentimental expressions, which hardly seemed to have listened to what you had said at all.
  2128. >She moved forward and touched your hand with her chilly hoof.
  2129. >Your eyes met and you could see in the way she looked at you how clear hers seemed to be.
  2130. >You remembered how you and her used to walk together, how she used to listen and how sad it felt to be parting from those same eyes when the night had come.
  2131. >It was painful to see those eyes again and know that she had not listened to you now, and perhaps had never listened to you except in your own mind.
  2132. >She could not understand that it all could be different, that everything that she knew could change without any reason and leave you shattered somewhere that was barren and unrecognizable, where only will and grit could put you back together.
  2133. >She could never understand that and she could never understand you.
  2134. >You pulled your hand away and stuck it in your pocket to keep the warmth she had given.
  2135. >Then you stood up.
  2136. >“What’s wrong?”
  2137. I’m leaving.
  2138. >“But we were just talking. Please don’t go. We were having such a nice time earlier. If I said something wrong, then I’m sorry.”
  2139. I’m leaving. Do not follow me.
  2140. >You did not see Fluttershy’s face as you walked quickly round the corner and away.
  2141. >After some time had passed and you had again come upon the streets filled with ponies in costume, you were surprised to find yourself still alone.
  2142. >You stuck to the streetlights out of instinct.
  2143. >The sun had gone now and some of the clouds in the grey blanket above had turned to black mist.
  2144. >You were sure that she would have followed you, considering how much she hates the dark.
  2145. >Maybe she had gone home. Maybe she still sat on the bench where you left her, petrified with fear and hoping that you would come back to take her home safely.
  2146. >She must be shivering with cold by now.
  2147. >But it was her own fault that she had come out at all.
  2148. >What had she hoped to accomplish by taking you on your offer?
  2149. >She must have known that it would have changed nothing between you both.
  2150. >It was ridiculous of her to keep hoping for something to happen that would bring the two of you together.
  2151. >You stopped and watched as a group of giggling fillies in costume approached the door of one decorated house.
  2152. >When the door opened, they sang:
  2153. ~Nightmare Night
  2154. ~What a fright!
  2155. ~Give me something sweet to bite!
  2156. >You smiled as the fillies held out their bags and the pony who answered the door dropped small helpings of candies and chocolates into them.
  2157. >All over the street groups of fillies and colts were walking along the lines of houses, some of them holding the hooves of their parents, and going from door to door to sing.
  2158. >So they had trick or treating here as well.
  2159. >Perhaps it was called by another name.
  2160. >Either way for them the night had only just begun.
  2161. >There was a particular air to their merriment that you had not felt since the last time you had dressed up and taken to the cold streets with your long gone friends.
  2162. >When exactly that last time was you could not say, but it had happened.
  2163. >As you stood back, watching the children and alternately evoking your old memories, you wondered if Fluttershy had been right.
  2164. >Could you truly hope for the impossible and, simply by virtue of that hope, find it in some recognizable way that you never would have seen before?
  2165. >Standing in that familiar air, it seemed to you to be only slightly as impossible as it had once been.
  2166. >As it got darker where you stood, you thought that her hoof had touched yours again.
  2167. >You were gripped inside by some warm and loving feeling.
  2168. >Every nerve seemed to light up in your body following her surrounding felt presence.
  2169. >She filled your blood with memories, sights and sounds, all with a story that had been remembered by you in a single moment.
  2170. >She smiled and was gone instantly.
  2171. >Your fingers grasped at thin air before retreating back into your palm to huddle together for warmth.
  2172. >The thought of being alone for another long night seemed excruciating, and since you had told Fluttershy that you would spend Nightmare Night with her, it only seemed fair that you went back.
  2173. >The bench where you left her was empty but you went on to her cottage undeterred.
  2174. >Following the lonely road that led out of town, you heard her singing up ahead.
  2175. >You caught up with her in the valley.
  2176. ~“And nothing was lost to me”
  2177. ~“For she could still sing with me”
  2178. ~“She’s a woe-be-gone girl.”
  2179. Fluttershy!
  2180. >She turned around, surprised to hear her name.
  2181. I want to spend Nightmare Night with you.
  2182. >“What made you change your mind?” she said after a moment.
  2183. I saw something. It’s hard to explain. Look, I’m sorry I left you behind like that. I want to stay with you tonight, do all those things you talked about earlier, like singing. Can I?
  2184. >“I forgive you. And yes, you can. But I want you to do something for me first.”
  2185. >She extended her wing, pointing the tip towards you.
  2186. >After a moment you gently took it. When you arrived you were alarmed at how still her grounds were.
  2187. >There was not an animal, bird, or anything to be heard or seen.
  2188. >The cottage was dark.
  2189. >All the windows had their curtains drawn and it was quiet.
  2190. >When you asked about it Fluttershy turned on the light and then called to her animals to come out and meet their surprise guest.
  2191. >Soon they all came scampering out from every nook and hole and corner of the cottage.
  2192. >They gathered at your feet and looked up at you.
  2193. >“They all missed you,” she said.
  2194.  
  2195. >You could not keep your eyes open.
  2196. >While Fluttershy and her animals were setting up the games you laid yourself on her couch, your feet dangling off the armrest, and fell asleep.
  2197. >When you woke up later only the table lamp on the nightstand lit the room.
  2198. >The windows were dark and you could not see Fluttershy or her animals with you.
  2199. >Everything was silent.
  2200. >You sat up for a moment and felt confused before remembering where you were.
  2201. >What time was it? How long had you slept?
  2202. >On the coffee table before the couch there lay, on top of a small pile of pillows and folded blankets, a pink note.
  2203. >You took the note and held it, caressing its softness with your thumb. It smelled sweet.
  2204. >You brought it to the lamp to read it.
  2205. >It read:
  2206.  
  2207. Sweet Dreams Sleepyhead,
  2208.  
  2209. We moved the party upstairs while you were taking your nap. You’re welcome to join us, whenever you awaken that is. We’ll try to be quiet, but please tell us if we’re being too loud. There is water in the fridge if you get thirsty, and I left you some pillows and blankets. Come find me if you need anything.
  2210.  
  2211. Love, Fluttershy
  2212.  
  2213. >You stood up, folded the note and put it in your pocket.
  2214. >After some fumbling you were able to find the switch and turn on the light in the kitchen.
  2215. >On the table inside were bags of candy with a note on them that read ‘In Case of Emergency Visitors’.
  2216. >You took a glass off the counter and went to the sink.
  2217. >Above the sink there was a window which held your reflection.
  2218. >You studied the slightly transparent face the light showed in the cool glass and noted the deep heavy ripples around your eyes.
  2219. >There was not a time you could recall where you slept as peacefully as you just did.
  2220. >That Fluttershy should be close when you did was a detail not lost to you.
  2221. >You had finally followed her inside her cottage, succumbed completely to her influence.
  2222. >But for the first time since you two had begun your friendship you felt that her presence again gave you strength.
  2223. >What limits this strength had you could not say for you felt it to be endless.
  2224. >You wondered if you could be happier by casting your fears aside and giving yourself fully to Fluttershy.
  2225. >You wanted her to reassure you. No longer would you have to see yourself, for she would see you.
  2226. >No longer did you want to feel hesitant, inhibited or afraid of your own soul’s desire to reach out to another.
  2227. >No longer would you disappear completely.
  2228. >She believed in you and would always be there for you, always love you, always want you to be happy.
  2229. >Your soft heart began to tremble as it opened slowly.
  2230. >You felt dizzy, lightheaded and happy.
  2231. >Was this how you had made her feel all this time?
  2232. >The memories that you had held in your heart since your first time together all came rising back up within you, filling you with joy and tenderness and longing.
  2233. >She had been so happy to be with you back then and you had felt proud to be the center of her world.
  2234. >You remembered her hug on that fateful day when it had all ended between you.
  2235. >She had truly loved you without limits back then, but this was not anymore.
  2236. >All the disagreements, disappointments and anger had ruined what you had had together.
  2237. >But if you could regain your joy for her devotion then perhaps her sacred first feelings were not truly gone.
  2238. >Surely you could still make her feel that way for you, feel as she must have felt when she had first loved you.
  2239. >Your face lit up, following an idea.
  2240. >If you wanted to make her as happy as she was, you simply had to reveal something about yourself to her that she would know was special to you.
  2241. >It would touch her so much to see your effort at reconnecting with her that she would turn to embrace you.
  2242. >You would hold her.
  2243. >Something in your touch would change her.
  2244. >She would look up at you with eyes that reached for your speechless heart in a way they never had before.
  2245. >You left the window, turned off the light, and went up to Fluttershy’s room.
  2246. >You tapped on her door and called her name.
  2247. >It was late but you wanted everything to be perfect, just as it had been back then.
  2248. >She startled you when she opened it suddenly and came out. She smiled and looked perfect, like she had not even been sleeping.
  2249. >“What is it?”
  2250. We need to go walking. I have to show you something.
  2251. >“But it’s dark out. Can’t it wait until after tonight?”
  2252. No, it can’t wait. I have to show it to you now before it goes away.
  2253. >“Show me what?”
  2254. It’s a surprise, something special that I want you to see with me.
  2255. >She hesitated. “I don’t know.”
  2256. Come on. It’ll be quick and I’ll be with you the whole time. Please, Fluttershy.
  2257. >“Well, okay then.”
  2258. >You both headed downstairs.
  2259. >When you opened the door the cold air immediately crept into your sleeves.
  2260. >You shivered but Fluttershy seemed undisturbed by the sudden change.
  2261. >When you asked she insisted that the cold was not a bother to her.
  2262. >She walked out and you followed.
  2263. >The moon was not up and it was much darker than you thought it would be.
  2264. >You looked over the black expanse before you and towards Ponyville.
  2265. >Light fog had descended from the chilly air and it surrounded the distant town’s faint glow like the fuzzy light that surrounds a candle’s flame.
  2266. Looks like everyone is still awake.
  2267. >“Well, that’s good.”
  2268. It’s darker than I thought. Are you going to be okay?
  2269. >“I’ll be fine.”
  2270. Are you sure? Because I can hold the tip of your wing, if you want.
  2271. >“That’s okay.”
  2272. Well . . . Okay. We better go. Did you want to say goodbye to your animals first?
  2273. >“No. They’re all already asleep.”
  2274. I didn’t see any of them.
  2275. >“They’re in their cages.”
  2276. I didn’t think that you used cages.
  2277. >“Well, only sometimes. Some animals feel safer when they sleep in a cage.”
  2278. >The two of you started for town.
  2279. >It seemed to get colder and darker the closer you got.
  2280. >Often you had to listen to the distinct sound your footsteps made on the road to know that you were still on the right path.
  2281. >Fluttershy seemed to keep her distance from you.
  2282. >You noticed that she only looked at you when you turned towards her.
  2283. >She would smile and then bow her head, as if waiting for you to turn away.
  2284. Are you okay?
  2285. >“I’m fine.”
  2286. >But silence came between you two again.
  2287. >She seemed so distant.
  2288. >You were starting to wonder if maybe you had made a mistake.
  2289. >Why did she seem so disinterested in you all of a sudden?
  2290. >You had to elicit a response from her, bring her close to you again.
  2291. So, I may as well tell you what I want to show you, just in case we are too late.
  2292. >“What is it?”
  2293. It’s something I saw after I left you earlier. I saw foals were going from door to door and asking for candy. That was something I used to do back on Earth when I was a kid.
  2294. >Fluttershy nodded silently to herself. You continued:
  2295. We called it trick or treating back on Earth. It just made me happy to see it again, and I never would have known how much I missed it if you and I hadn’t talked beforehand. You gave me hope again.
  2296. >She had come closer.
  2297. >You stopped.
  2298. >She turned to you as you approached and bent down on your knees to face her wide open eyes.
  2299. You gave me something that I never would have had without you, something that I thought had been lost forever, and I can never forget that.
  2300. >You beckoned her forward.
  2301. >She smiled and, standing up, threw her arms around your neck.
  2302. >You hugged her close, running your trembling fingers between her soft wings and along her back.
  2303. I’m so happy to be with you right now. I’ve been so lonely since I left you. I hate it. I don’t want to exist anymore unless I’m living, and you make me feel alive. I can’t live without you.
  2304. >You trembled as your heart was on the precipice of opening fully.
  2305. I need to tell you something else that I’m feeling. Do you know what it is?
  2306. >She did not move or answer you.
  2307. I think you do know. You don’t have to be scared to guess it this time. Please say it.
  2308. >She slipped out from under your arms and stood back to look at you.
  2309. >There was no smile on her face or any recognition for you in her eyes.
  2310. Fluttershy?
  2311. >“I have to go. Don’t follow.”
  2312. >You stayed kneeling as she trotted away from you and into the darkness towards her cottage.
  2313. >The sound of her hooves was faint by the time you stood up and went after her.
  2314. >It was too dark to see anything now but when you felt you had reached her cottage you looked around to see that nothing was there.
  2315. >You were not sure where you were.
  2316. >You stopped and listened.
  2317. >You could no longer hear her hooves.
  2318. >Even though your throat ached you kept calling her name, wondering all the time why she had run away from you.
  2319. >Did you say something wrong?
  2320. >She should not have been feeling shy or scared.
  2321. >The moment had seemed perfect for you to confess.
  2322. >She must have misunderstood you somehow, and you had to find her and set things right while the night still lived.
  2323. >Keeping focused, you kept searching for her in the spot where you were sure her cottage was.
  2324. >Time passed by unnoticed until you had lost in it the point when your search had begun.
  2325. >You shivered as the cold night air clung to your skin like a wet shirt.
  2326. >Your nose was running and you kept breathing into your hands to try and warm your frozen face.
  2327. >Your head was bowed and your eyes burned wearily.
  2328. >Both the light from town and Fluttershy’s cottage were gone and, looking up, it seemed that even the stars were blinking out of existence so that the black sky was as smooth as dark glass.
  2329. >Something split inside your head and your eyes shook till your vision was out of focus.
  2330. >You started falling.
  2331.  
  2332. >When you awoke, face down on the ground, the grass pressing on your cheek, you lifted your head up and saw the light of town again.
  2333. >You stood up uneasily and walked towards it, getting closer until it loomed over you in sight like the sunrise.
  2334. >Everyone’s windows were dark and the streets were quiet and empty.
  2335. >Seen in the light of the streetlamps, the Nightmare Night decorations, left out overnight and forgotten, moved only slightly with the passing breeze.
  2336. >When you arrived home you went right to bed, tossing and turning during the night even though you were tired.
  2337. >Your thoughts all centered on Fluttershy’s absence and your bed felt as cold as the air outside was.
  2338. >When the first morning light faded in you sat by the window and held in your hand the sweet note she had left for you.
  2339. >The light eventually shone brighter and lit up her words, starting from the top to the bottom.
  2340. >Her last words to you came to view before your eyes and you caressed them with your thumb.
  2341. >There was a knock at the door just then.
  2342. >You folded the note carefully and slipped it back into your pocket before rushing downstairs to see her.
  2343. >But it was Twilight Sparkle, not Fluttershy. She had a very serious expression.
  2344. What’s up, Twilight? Is something the matter?
  2345. >“Not anymore,” she said. “I’m glad to see that you’re safe. Fluttershy was worried sick about you. Where were you last night?”
  2346. What do you mean? What happened?
  2347. >“Ponyville was attacked last night by the Tantabus. The entire town was brought to the nightmare realm, but Princess Luna freed both me and my friends from its sleep magic so that we could stop it.”
  2348. Fluttershy too?
  2349. >“Yes,” she said. “And when the Tantabus attacked, Fluttershy said that you weren’t where she had last seen you.”
  2350. That’s because we were together. I wanted to show her the trick or treaters, so we left sometime during the night. Then she left me behind, and I walked home. . . .
  2351. >You froze as a thought flashed in your mind.
  2352. >Talk died as you thought back to Fluttershy’s strange behavior, to the unexplainable happenings of the night, and to your own sudden rush of euphoric feelings towards Fluttershy, feelings you had never had before.
  2353. >You were still speechless when Twilight, gazing at you with concern, said quietly:
  2354. >“If you weren’t asleep, then it’s possible that the magic of the Tantabus didn’t affect you the same way it did every pony else. You might have actually been awake while every pony had already been trapped, and thus unable to tell the difference between reality and the dreams of the nightmare realm.”
  2355. >You shook your head slowly, trying to deny everything that you were hearing.
  2356. >All of your feelings for Fluttershy, your longings, your tender confessions, all of them still burned within your heart.
  2357. >It was crazy to think that everything you had felt and experienced that night had never been real.
  2358. >You pulled the note out from your pocket and felt relieved to see it in your hands.
  2359. >Twilight looked at it and you explained that Fluttershy had left it for you last night.
  2360. >Twilight’s look softened.
  2361. >“I think you should go and talk to Fluttershy. She was very worried when she didn’t see that you were still with her last night. We all were.”
  2362. >You nodded, realizing that you too had to know what really happened last night.
  2363. >On the way to her cottage you felt dizzy and stopped often to catch your breath.
  2364. >When you arrived she was standing out front with a small crowd of animals alongside her, all of them waiting for the rest of her animals to return as they had all fled when the Tantabus attacked.
  2365. >After seeing you she trotted over and wrapped her arms around your waist so fast that she nearly made you fall over backwards.
  2366. >You kept your own emotions in check and held your arms up while she nuzzled your waist.
  2367. >“I’m so glad you’re okay.” She looked up at you with teary eyes. “Where were you?”
  2368. Twilight thinks that I was awake in the nightmare realm while you fought the Tantabus.
  2369. >She sniffled and held you closer to her.
  2370. >“I tried to find you first, but Twilight said that we had to hurry and save every pony else. And afterwards, I started to feel worried that my nightmares were going to come true, and that you were going to be taken away from me.”
  2371. Well, I did get your note.
  2372. >“You did?”
  2373. Didn’t you see it gone when you went to look for me?
  2374. >“No, I guess I didn’t notice,” she said. “Did you like it?”
  2375. Yeah, I liked it.
  2376. >“I’m glad to hear that. I was scared, thinking that maybe you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. We were having so much fun at first. This would’ve been the first Nightmare Night I ever enjoyed if it wasn’t for what happened. I’m sorry that things ended up going badly after all, but next year things will be different. I promise.”
  2377. >She stopped there.
  2378. >You hesitated for a moment before your hand began to rub her back.
  2379. >Her trembling body stilled at your touch.
  2380. Fluttershy.
  2381. >Her red, teary eyes turned up to meet yours.
  2382. >Held inside them was the small flame that still flickered in your anxious heart for her.
  2383. >You reached out one more time.
  2384. Did you see any trick or treaters last night?
  2385. >She looked at you strangely. “What do you mean?”
  2386. Do you remember what we talked about once I came back with you to your cottage? Do you remember what I said to you?
  2387. >She did not answer right away.
  2388. >Then, in a curious tone, she asked you:
  2389. >“Did we talk about something before you disappeared?”
  2390. >You held your eyes shut.
  2391. >Without her knowing at all she had given you the answer you sought.
  2392. >Your hand slid slowly off of her back and returned to your side as you stepped away from her.
  2393. >She fell forward.
  2394. I have to go.
  2395. >“What is it?” she said. “Why are you leaving me again?”
  2396. I just have to go.
  2397. >“Can you please just stay with me this one time? Please.”
  2398. No. I can’t. I’m sorry.
  2399. >“Why does the way I feel mean nothing to you?”
  2400. >She stepped forward. Then you turned and walked away.
  2401. >You could not hear her hooves following you and it was only when you reached town that you stopped to turn back.
  2402. >She had not followed you.
  2403. >On your way home you passed the jack o lanterns and saw that their candles had all been snuffed out.
  2404. >Their last wisps of smoke had risen from their curled burnt wicks and then had faded away from everybody.
  2405. >In your room you had opened the drawer of your desk and you sat staring at her note.
  2406. >You had unfolded it one last time.
  2407. >Then, when you could look at it no longer, you placed it in the drawer and closed it.
  2408. >You crawled into bed without intent to sleep.

All there was and need to know [zigzag story archive]

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The Growth Process

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A Secret Place

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Being Natural

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Counting with Pinkie Pie

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