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Spooky CYOA

By ZigZagWanderer
Created: 2021-01-05 20:29:40
Updated: 2021-09-18 15:07:48
Expiry: Never
anonfluttershycomedy/flutterrape/

  1. Here's my first CYOA for Flutterrape, warts and all, which ran from Halloween, 2018 until December fifteenth.
  2. Thanks to all the Anons in the thread who played.
  3.  
  4.  
  5. >Today is Halloween
  6. >Or Nightmare Night, if you're some kind of pony-loving heathen who wants to piss off the pagan gods
  7. >To cool people, it's Halloween
  8. >You're at home, which is decorated to the nines in all kinds of awesome Halloween stuff
  9. >There's cobwebs in the corners, a spooky pony skeleton on the porch, rats running around on the floor
  10. >You didn't clean your house for the entire month leading up to this day
  11. >All the squalor just helps make everything look spookier
  12. >You look at that window Rainbow Dash crashed through weeks ago
  13. >She accidentally cut herself on a jagged piece of broken glass and it sliced some important artery in her thigh
  14. >It left a monster of a blood puddle
  15. >Yeah, never cleaned that up
  16. >Now it's all rusty-looking, and the smell of it makes you want to vomit
  17. >It's fucking perfect
  18. >You've also got your Metal Machine Music album playing on the speakers outside
  19. >It alternates along with David Parker Ray's audio tape
  20. >Yeah, you'll be surprised if anyone is brave enough to come up to your door
  21. >Especially these wimpy ass ponies
  22. >But hey, if they don't, then more candy for you
  23. >There's a blood-curdling scream from outside
  24. >'No, not the bees! Not the bees! AAAAAAAA!'
  25. >Yeah, that's your doorbell for this evening
  26. >Can't believe you already got a trick or treater
  27. >You wonder if they were able to avoid those bear traps you hid on your walkway
  28. >They're pretty cute; you painted them to look like little werewolves fangs were biting you
  29. >Well, you can't hear any screaming, so that's a good sign they missed them
  30. >Grab your candy bowl and head to the door
  31. >Stop before opening it
  32. >It'd be pretty fun to scare whoever is at your door
  33. >And all those blood capsules you swallowed earlier feel like they're coming back up on you
  34. >You could totally vomit blood on them
  35. >Man, that'd be an awesome Halloween prank, bro
  36. >Stop before pushing your finger down your throat
  37. >Then again, maybe they deserve their candy
  38. >Your house is pretty bad ass, so whoever this is must have some serious balls
  39. >That deserves some candy, right?
  40. >Hmm, blood or candy?
  41.  
  42. what do?
  43. ********
  44. I'm gonna say go with the candy.
  45.  
  46. Throw up blood on the kiddos after giving the candy, then have Frank Reynolds offer a boiled egg during this trying time.
  47. [spoiler]The Frank thing is optional[/spoiler]
  48.  
  49. Pelt their asses with Heath bars as soon as the door opens. The holiday spirit knows no mercy
  50. *********
  51.  
  52. >Alright, you know what, it's Halloween, the coolest of all holidays
  53. >And you're cool
  54. >R-Right?
  55. >Yeah, give 'em some candy
  56. >The Dude Abides
  57. >Look down at your candy bowl
  58. >Well, you could give 'em a Reeses, but you really like those
  59. >And of course, you have to keep a Kit Kat for yourself
  60. >Maybe not those M&M's either
  61. >You start picking through the bowl
  62. >Look at the scanty pickings that's left
  63. >Tootsie Rolls
  64. >All of it, Tootsie Rolls
  65. Hope this fucker likes Tootsie Rolls. Oh, wait . . .
  66. >Almost gave 'em some Heath bars
  67. >Nah, those are yours too!
  68. >Open the door
  69. >See it's Fluttershy
  70. >Your asshole clenches in fear
  71. >She smiles, showing off some little plastic fangs
  72. >Fuck, that's cute, mang
  73. >Wait, no it's not! Fuck you!
  74. >This horse is evil right at your doorstep
  75. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1yorTL1B1w
  76. >She holds out her bag
  77. >"Um, trick or treat, smell your feet, give me your big dick to e--"
  78. >Slam the door in her face
  79. >No way you're dealing with that hot mess on this most holiest of days
  80. >Hear her knock on the door
  81. >"Um, you're supposed to give me treats, preferably cummies!"
  82. Fluttershy, go away!
  83. >"But that's not how this works! Flutters wants her--"
  84. >Turn up the volume all the way on Metal Machine Music
  85. >Hear a thump
  86. >Look out the window
  87. >Fluttershy is down and seems to be having a seizure on your front step
  88. >You smile
  89. >That is such a bad ass addition to your spooky decorations
  90. Keep it up, Fluttershy!
  91. >You don't think she heard you; there's tears in her eyes and her face is all red
  92. >All of a sudden you hear something coming from your kitchen
  93. >Sounds like rustling
  94. >Some mom shows up with all her little kids
  95. >She looks pissed
  96. >"What is that awful noise you're playing! It's disturbing the entire neighborhood!"
  97. >One kids starts crying
  98. >"Mommy, my ear hurts!"
  99. >See a little trickle of blood drip out from his ear
  100. >This triggers a rumbling in your gut
  101. >Burp a gnarly burp
  102. Oh God . . .
  103. >Feel blood coming up
  104. >You aim for the bitchy mom
  105. >Just then mom holds the kid in her arms, trying to soothe the little one's pain
  106. >Projectile vomit a mixture of blood and chunks of undigested Reeses all over the little tyke
  107. >Everyone blinks in sync, probably from shock
  108. >Hear something heavy tumbling down the stairs
  109. >A big fat dude breaks through your stair's railing and crashes into the small blood-soaked crowd
  110. >He knocks them over like pins
  111. >He's bald and fat and reeks of booze, even with all the blood in the room
  112. Holy shit, it's special guest star Danny DeVito!
  113. >Try to help him up
  114. >He fights you the entire way, muttering something about 'fags under the bridge trying to steal my crabs!'
  115. >Finally get his wobbly ass up
  116. What are you doing here, Danny?
  117. >He looks at you incredulously through his busted glasses
  118. >"Who the fuck is Danny? I'm Frank Reynolds to this generation!"
  119. >Poor guy
  120. >That's not the booze but the senility
  121. >Kind of a buzzkill
  122. >Start pelting him with Heath bars
  123. >Hit him in the nose with one
  124. >"Ow! What the shit?! Fine, just take it!"
  125. >He reaches into the front of his pants
  126. >Pulls out a boiled egg with pubes stuck to it
  127. >Tosses it at your feet
  128. >Dude, that's gross
  129. >Wait, you got to get him to sign that shit
  130. Sir, sign my egg!
  131. >"Get that faggot shit out of my face!"
  132. >He pushes you out of the way and then stumbles over to the door
  133. >He throws it open and starts screaming about wanting to find a luau
  134. >Another angry mom who was going to come complain sees this and wisely turns herself in the opposite direction
  135. >Danny trips over Flutters, awakening her from her trance
  136. >They stare at each other in amazement
  137. >He wipes some spit off his mouth
  138. >"You're not the broad I stole from Charlie last night!"
  139. >"You aren't half as attractive as I thought all other humans would be!"
  140. >Flutters then looks over at you firmly
  141. >In a burst of super human strength you pick up the defiled family and drop them on top of her
  142. >She struggles under the pile of puke, blood and bodies
  143. >"This isn't over!"
  144. Yeah, it is.
  145. >Slam the door
  146. >Man, Danny DeVito
  147. >Not even gonna wonder how he ended up here
  148. >This Halloween rocks
  149. >Hear a scream from outside
  150. >"Ow! Mommy, it's got my leg!"
  151. >"Oh, sweetie, the wound is too deep. We're going to have to cut it off!"
  152. >Woah! You gotta see that
  153. >Look out the window
  154. >See Fluttershy has escaped
  155. >Oh boy
  156. >Suddenly hear some thumping coming from the kitchen
  157. >Hear a chainsaw start up
  158. >Wait, what?
  159. Okay, Flutters, that's too . . .
  160. >See Fluttershy is trying to come through the busted window
  161. >She freezes upon seeing that she's caught
  162. >She smiles in fear, then accidentally cuts her cheek on some glass
  163. >Okay, wait, if she's there
  164. >Then who's in the kitchen with Dina, and with a chainsaw!
  165. >You might need some help with this one; it could be some Resident Evil 4 shit
  166. >Then again, Fluttershy's presence can only cause problems
  167. >And you've got your Leon impression down pretty good
  168. >'Better try an old trick cause that one's getting old!'
  169. >Classic final boss quote
  170. >Okay, chainsaw fight, or Fluttershy?
  171.  
  172. what do?
  173. ********
  174. Deal with Shyhorse.
  175.  
  176. Lie to flutters so that she helps in the chainsaw fight
  177. ********
  178.  
  179. >Come to think of it, that chainsaw dude always killed you whenever you played those levels
  180. >Better get Flutters to help
  181. >You can run away while she's busy being cut up
  182. >Go over to Fluttershy
  183. >She sees you coming and panics
  184. >"Wait, don't push me out, my leg is caught in the glass!"
  185. >Grab her by the mane and pull her inside
  186. >Throw her on the ground
  187. >She looks down at her leg and sighs in relief when she sees it isn't harmed
  188. >"How did you know I wouldn't get cut the other way?"
  189. Uh . . .
  190. >"Oh, you just knew somehow, my hero! You didn't want to see me hurt so you pulled me in."
  191. >She flies up into your arms
  192. >Just then a pony, with a dirty burlap sack on its head, lifts a chainsaw up over its head and comes running out from the kitchen on its hind legs
  193. >You throw Fluttershy before its hooves
  194. Kill her first!
  195. >"Wait, what! Oh my goodness!"
  196. >The pony trips over Fluttershy
  197. >The chainsaw flies out from its hooves and goes somersaulting through the air towards your pants
  198. >It just slightly brushes against the front of your zipper before it comes clattering down onto the ground
  199. >Pick up the chainsaw and head towards the masked pony
  200. >Fluttershy glares up at you
  201. >"I think we need to have a serious talk about the implications of what you just did."
  202. Make it wait. I want to know who's really behind this.
  203. >Lift the mask off the pony
  204. >A bunch of orange and black confetti bursts up into your face
  205. >Fall backwards
  206. >The chainsaw falls on top of your chest
  207. >Man, that thing could have killed you twice already!
  208. >Get up and throw it out the fucking window
  209. >Turn around and see the masked killer, who is now Pinkie Pie, frowning at you
  210. >"Aw, why'd you do that? Now how am I going to carve my erotic Jack o Lanterns of you?"
  211. Pinkie, what the actual fuck were you thinking coming at me with . . .
  212. >Wait, did she just say--
  213. >"Erotic Jack o Lanterns of hot monkey cock!" Fluttershy says, her eyes lighting up
  214. >Pinkie brings the both of you in your kitchen, where she was carving pumpkins for some reason
  215. >There's pumpkin goop, wet newspapers and empty cans of Red Bull everywhere
  216. Pinkie, what the hell? You're cleaning this mess of yours up before you leave!
  217. >"This stuff was already here, though."
  218. . . . Oh, yeah. This is my stuff. Looks good, right?
  219. >"It's amazing!" Fluttershy says; but she's staring at a pumpkin of you railing Pinkie in the ponut
  220. >There's also a pumpkin depicting your crotch in a very surprising, and disturbing, level of extreme detail
  221. >Yeah, how in the hell does Pinkie even know about that ingrown hair?
  222. >You have to have a serious talk with that mare
  223. >Fluttershy grabs the mating pumpkin
  224. >"These are so good that I'd buy them. How much do you want?"
  225. >Pinkie looks at her firmly
  226. >"Two hugs, and that's my final offer."
  227. No fucking way!
  228. >You kick them apart before they can start any of that gay ass friendly pony shit
  229. Pinkie, we need to have a serious talk about the costs included in using my likeness to sell erotic Jack o Lanterns.
  230. >"Got it," she says. "I'll give you three hugs, but that's my--"
  231. Pinkie, no! God, what is wrong with you silly ass horses?
  232. >"It's Nightmare Night," she replies. "You're supposed to be silly, silly."
  233. Why?
  234. >"Because it's more fun!"
  235. The time for fun is over, and the time for business is now.
  236. >Fluttershy suddenly flies into the kitchen, looking exhausted
  237. >Look for the pumpkins
  238. >Both of them are gone already
  239. >"I'm ready to pay now, Pinkie."
  240. >Now she's hugging Pinkie
  241. >"Okay, that's a start," Pinkie says, giggling as they part.
  242. >She opens up her arms again
  243. >"But I still need one more!"
  244. Filthy ponies, hugging right in front of me.
  245. >"Is hugging your fetish?" Fluttershy says
  246. >You glare at their gesture of closeness, a desire to separate them overcoming you
  247. >Goddammit, where's that chainsaw?
  248. >Oh, right, you threw it out the window
  249. >There's a scream from outside
  250. >''Ah! They're in my eyes! My eyes! AAAAAAA!'
  251. >Huh, a new trick or treater
  252. >Look to your door, then at Fluttershy and Pinkie
  253. >But these filthy ponies are still hugging
  254. >You can't let them ruin your Halloween with their stupid happiness
  255. >But then again, someone is at the door
  256. >Ruining happiness, or trying to create your own . . .
  257.  
  258. what do?
  259. ********
  260. Answer the door, it's not like Ponk or Flutters will actually get up to anything.
  261.  
  262. I think we oughta create our own
  263. ********
  264.  
  265. >Like, why is Fluttershy even out tonight, though?
  266. >Okay, fine, you'll leave them to their stupid hugs
  267. >You've got souls to terrify
  268. >With a malevolent grin, you grab your candy bowl and head to the door
  269. Hope you like Tootsie Rolls, because that's all you shall receive.
  270. >Try to do your best evil Vincent Price laugh
  271. >Cough up a little blood
  272. >Wipe it off your chin with your sleeve
  273. >Look at the small stain on your sleeve
  274. Damn, Halloween is serious business.
  275. >Open the door to find Twilight, who's dressed up as Albert Einstein
  276. >You told her he was a powerful Earth wizard
  277. >Which actually isn't true at all, considering what a chad he actually was
  278. >You giggle to yourself, remembering your little joke
  279. >Twilight jumps, like she just noticed you
  280. Sheesh, Twi, did my evil laugh scare ya?
  281. >"Sorry," she says, blushing.
  282. >"I was distracted by your interesting choice of"--she forces a couch--"decoration."
  283. Oh, yeah, I totally get it. My house is awesome.
  284. >"It certainly is messy," she says, peering past your legs to look inside
  285. >See that the awesomeness of your house is giving her her OCD sweats
  286. >Step to the side
  287. You want to come in and--
  288. >"YES!" she says, pushing you out of the way
  289. >She immediately starts sorting shit
  290. --Check out my awesome decorations . . .
  291. >Look at your doorstep
  292. >See she dropped some stuff
  293. >Looks like her notepad, and some kind of spooky looking book
  294. >The book looks like that one from Evil Dead
  295. >You recognize the notepad, it's her mobile journal
  296. >You picked it up off her library desk once and read some of it
  297. >You would not believe how good Twilight is at drawing dicks
  298. >And just horse dicks either, but dicks of all kinds and colors
  299. >You somehow were able to tell which dicks belonged to Minotaurs and which were Yak dicks and which were dragon dicks just by her talent alone
  300. >And it had to be her talent, of course
  301. >Cause you've certainly never looked at any pictures of other species' dicks on your own
  302. >That would be so weird
  303. >You'd never do that
  304. >Never
  305. >Not even if the library did have tons of books about that sort of thing for some reason
  306. >Anyway, Twilight was really ruining your decorations
  307. >You should probably stop her
  308. >But first, what's with this book?
  309. >Pick it up and look it over
  310. >Huh, no title
  311. >Just a cover that kinda feels like living skin
  312. >Oh, wait, the title is on the spine
  313. >'Spooky Spells'
  314. >Oh man
  315. >Open it up and read it
  316. >The pages make a sound almost like a grim sigh as you flip through them
  317. >You ignore it
  318. >After a while you shut the book
  319. >It was all in some weird language you can't read
  320. >But Twilight can definitely read it
  321. >And she could probably make your house extra spooky by using some of the spells in it
  322. >But first, you want to see if she drew any more dicks in her journal
  323. >It's perfectly normal to be interested in that, right?
  324. >Pick up the journal and flip to the latest page
  325. >See she's drawn a new dick
  326. >Your dick
  327. >It's the exact same drawing Pinkie had carved earlier
  328. Okay, what the fuck?!
  329. >"Hey!"
  330. >Oh shit, that was Twilight
  331. >You throw down both her journal and the spell book, then flip around to face her with an innocent grin
  332. >She stares firmly at you
  333. >"Okay, I saw you were looking at something of mine."
  334. >She picks them both up and holds them before you
  335. >"Now, were you looking at my spell book, or snooping through my journal?"
  336. Uh . . .
  337. >Okay, you kind of want to confront her about that really detailed drawing of your dick
  338. >You'll admit, it isn't normal to be so interested in a drawing of a dick like that
  339. >No, wait, yeah it is, seriously, why the fuck does she have that?
  340. >Then again, she might not make your house spookier if you agitate her like that
  341. >And you pretty much need to fix the mess she made
  342. >Like, she even turned off Metal Machine Music and started playing something else
  343. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1dSY6ZuXEY
  344. >You don't like it
  345. >It's existentially terrifying in a way that Metal Machine Music is not
  346. >Like, are skeletons real, or are really just all alone in this world?
  347. >You really need to stop reading all those skeleton conspiracy theories when it's late at night
  348. >Some things are still taboo, even on Halloween
  349. >Anyway, should you choose your dick or a spell that will make things spooky again?
  350.  
  351. what do?
  352. ********
  353. Spooky spell, we can ask about dicks later.
  354.  
  355. Get her to use her magic to summon up those demons, distract her from your admiration of different specie's dicks.
  356. ********
  357.  
  358. >You know what, it's not like she's the only pony that's obsessed with your dick
  359. >Fluttershy comes out from the kitchen, covered in pumpkin goop
  360. >"Oh, Twilight, I'm glad you're here. I want you to come look at the Jack o Lantern that Pinkie and I are working on."
  361. >Case in point
  362. >While she's distracted you yank the spell book out from her magical grip
  363. >It feels abnormally cold, like death
  364. >Like, now that you're holding it again, you notice that you can actually see your breath right now
  365. >This book must really be awesome
  366. >"Oh, so you were looking at my spell book?" Twilight says, breathing a sigh of relief
  367. >You narrow your eyes at her just for a moment
  368. I know your secret, Spergle.
  369. >"Huh?"
  370. I said how could I resist with a title like Spooky Spells.
  371. >"Well, you were talking so much about how you wanted to make your house scary for Nightmare Night--"
  372. Halloween.
  373. >"Whatever. Anyway, I thought I would bring this over to help give you some ideas."
  374. >Yeah, on the night of
  375. >Thanks a lot
  376. Only one problem with that, I can't read whatever crazy pony language this is in.
  377. >"Uh, you mean cursive?"
  378. Is that some kind of magic term or something?
  379. >"Nevermind. Here, let me show you some stuff I already found."
  380. >You flip to a random page
  381. >And bam! Picture of a horned goat devil, staring you right in the face and everything
  382. >Totally looks like it could be on the cover of a Slayer record
  383. >Point it out to Twilight
  384. I want this spell.
  385. >As her eyes scan the page, going further and further down, her wince stretches until it becomes a full blown look of panic
  386. >"Uh, i don't think I should do this one."
  387. Aw. You ain't scared, are you?
  388. >"We're talking about dangerous magic here."
  389. Baby's gonna cry.
  390. >You press your cheek against hers, pinch your face into a weepy expression and begin wiping away imaginary tears
  391. Is the big bad alicorn pwincess afwaid of a wittle spell?
  392. >She purses her lips
  393. >"I'm not doing it."
  394. Come on. Einstein would do it.
  395. >"Einstein could also destroy planets, according to you."
  396. >Fluttershy looks over your shoulder
  397. >"Oh, I don't know, Twilight, I'm sure he's a much nicer goat than he looks."
  398. You just want to see his dick, don't you?
  399. >"No."
  400. >"Maybe."
  401. >"What are we talking about?" Pinkie says. "Oh, and Einstein definitely had heat vision."
  402. >Twilight slams the book shut
  403. >"Look, I won't do it and place all our lives in danger."
  404. Would you rather we talk about your little drawing of me?
  405. >Twilight scrunches her muzzle
  406. >"You did look in my journal!"
  407. Why are you shouting at me?! I should be shouting at you!
  408. >"I was just copying the design you had outside already."
  409. >Wait, what?
  410. >Fluttershy bites her lip nervously
  411. >"Um, Twilight . . ."
  412. >Oh hell no
  413. >Look out your window
  414. >See both of those Jack O Lanterns Pinkie made have been on your porch this entire time
  415. >There's even a third one of you getting it from behind
  416. >By Fluttershy!
  417. >With a strap on!
  418. >A strap on of your own dick!
  419. >Trick or treaters are coming up to beginning of your path, seeing this and then moving on to the next house
  420. >Well, except for the dog that just came by and took that fake leg you placed in one of the bear traps
  421. >Wait, you never had any fake leg decorations
  422. >Suddenly Fluttershy throws herself in front of the door
  423. >"Please don't destroy them!" she pleads to you. "They're a part of me!"
  424. And which part would that be?
  425. >Cross your arms, waiting for her response
  426. >She starts sweating and looking round the room
  427. >"Um . . . my heart?"
  428. Wrong answer.
  429. >"No, I meant my loins! Ah!"
  430. >Pick her up and ready your foot for the ol' cunt punt
  431. >"No, please, I'll do anything!"
  432. >Yeah, you've heard that before
  433. >Wait
  434. >Pick her up and hold her close to your face
  435. >Stare firmly into her eyes
  436. Anything?
  437. >She steals a kiss
  438. >Well, it's more like she bites your lips and then starts licking you all over
  439. >Yeah, that one was kind of on you
  440. >Should've known better than to hold her that close
  441. >Hold her at arm's length this time
  442. Okay, if you want to save your pumpkins, then go do that spell I want.
  443. >She nods eagerly and you let her go
  444. >Twilight scoffs
  445. >"That's ridiculous, you have to be a unicorn if you want to--"
  446. >Fluttershy starts breaking apart Twilight's neat little piles of your decorations
  447. >She throws items randomly over her shoulder and to the center of the room
  448. >Twilight looks on in horror
  449. >"Fluttershy, stop! I had those all in a--no, don't touch that! Ack! I can't look anymore!"
  450. >She covers her eyes
  451. >Watching this display, Pinkie's entire body begins vibrating with excitement
  452. >"I want to help too!"
  453. >She picks up a big plaster eyeball and throws it at the wall, shattering it into a dozen pieces
  454. >Then she grabs your favorite lamp off your nightstand and starts beating it against the floor
  455. >"Yeah! Rock and Roll, every pony!"
  456. >Fucking Ponk
  457. >Fluttershy finally finishes throwing things and begins arranging a lot of your spooky decorations on the floor
  458. >She makes some weird circle with them
  459. >Then she turns to you
  460. >"I need more blood!"
  461. But you're already covered in blood.
  462. >"I need more!"
  463. >With supernatural speed, she flies up to you and rams her tongue down your throat
  464. >You can feel her licking your tonsils
  465. >Oh God why
  466. >You were pretty sure you'd never have to get those things removed until now
  467. >You projectile vomit blood all over her and she leans back and takes it all, basking in it
  468. >Then she goes back to the circle and begins chanting:
  469. >"Arise, Chicken! Arise!"
  470. >Nothing happens
  471. >Pinkie even stops from crushing the last broken pieces of your lamp and looks around expectantly
  472. >Eventually, you shrug
  473. Okay, so now what?
  474. >Fluttershy timidly raises her hoof like she's in class
  475. >You sigh
  476. Yes, Fluttershy?
  477. >"We could kiss again."
  478. No.
  479. >"Oh."
  480. >She folds her ears
  481. >Pinkie looks at Fluttershy, then at you; and she raises her hoof
  482. No, we're not doing this. Put your hoof down and just tell me what it is.
  483. >"Has any pony seen Twilight?"
  484. >You all notice that Twilight has disappeared
  485. >You all look the room over but can't find her
  486. >"She even left her dick journal behind," Pinkie says, while flipping through its pages. "Wow! What a monster!"
  487. >"Let me see it," Fluttershy says.
  488. >"Uh, it's there," Pinkie says, pointing towards the stairs.
  489. >Upside down and backwards, Twilight comes crawling down the stairs
  490. >An otherwordly scream comes from her mouth when it opens, showing off bloody jagged teeth
  491. >She twists her head around until she's looking out at you three from beneath the arched bridge of her back and shoulder
  492. >Then this plays
  493. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RicaUqd9Hg
  494. >Her normally purple eyes turn red as a black aura surrounds her enlarged pupils
  495. >A demonic voice, which seems not to come from her but from within the all-surrounding freezing air of the room, booms in your ears:
  496. >"I'll drag you all to hell, by your dicks!"
  497. >Just then all the lights short out, and you can hear Twilight crawling around on the floor
  498. >Oh bugger
  499. >Turn to Fluttershy
  500. You're a terrible friend for doing this to her.
  501. >At least that skeleton song isn't on anymore
  502.  
  503. well now she's possessed by some kinda dick demon
  504. what do?
  505. ********
  506. I WOULD say hide your dick in Fluttershy or Pinkie, but they'd love that too much. Try and sedate the dick devil with Twilight's dick drawings.
  507. ********
  508.  
  509. >"Here," Pinkie says, "we can use these for light!"
  510. >She brings in the--Jesus Christ, the fucking erotic Jack o Lanterns
  511. Seriously?
  512. >Just then Twilight jumps in your face for a spooky jump scare
  513. Ah! Fuck!
  514. >Fall backwards
  515. >Twilight steps on top of your chest and laughs demonically
  516. >"Looks like I spooked you!"
  517. I was just startled. Jump scares are cheap!
  518. >"How's this for cheap?"
  519. >Devil Twi crawls down to your crotch
  520. >She presses her nose against your bulge for a sec before retracting and saying:
  521. >"Boop!"
  522. >You get an insta-boner
  523. >It comes up so strong that it snaps right through your zipper
  524. >Fluttershy stares at it in amazement
  525. >Then, tears in her eyes, she turns towards the demon
  526. >"Why couldn't you have taken me?!"
  527. >"Quiet!" Demon Twi says, shaking the entire house with her powerful voice
  528. >You try to get up
  529. >Flaming skeleton arms shoot up from the ground and surround you
  530. >They hold you down
  531. >But they don't burn at all
  532. >Huh, that's nice
  533. >Demon Twi looks down at you and licks her fangs
  534. >"Now you're getting the succ."
  535. >Okay, a blowjob from an all-powerful dick demon
  536. >might be cool, right?
  537. >She opens her mouth
  538. >It expands and becomes a tunnel of sharp teeth, all of them jutting forward and back in stabbing motions
  539. >Well, it sounded nice before that
  540. >She begins lowering the veritable pencil sharpener towards your cock
  541. >Shut your eyes
  542. >Feel your cock get engulfed
  543. >Huh, feels good
  544. >Open your eyes
  545. >Fucking Fluttershy has deepthroated you
  546. >Demon Twi is looking down at her; she seems slightly amused
  547. >She gags and moves her mouth a little
  548. >And there's her teeth scraping the bottom
  549. >Not sure if this is better right now
  550. >Demon Twi appears at Fluttershy's shoulder
  551. >Fluttershy gives her the stink eye and gags again, as if to say that she's willing to fight
  552. >You twitch inside her mouth, reminding you that you have the weirdest boner right now
  553. >Then Demon Twi starts rubbing the back of Fluttershy's head
  554. >"Well, if you love his dick that much, then you can die by it!"
  555. >She pushes Fluttershy even further down on your dick, all the way to the pelvic bone
  556. >You can feel she's choking; her throat is practically strangling half of your length
  557. >She manages to look up at you from where she's pressed and her eyes are red and teary
  558. >Fuck, such a weird boner right now
  559. >And where the hell is Pinkie during all of this?!
  560. >She appears just then with the dick journal
  561. >"Hey, Scary Twily, check these out!"
  562. >Demon Twi carelessly flicks her eyes to the page she's presented
  563. >"So?"
  564. >"They're nice, huh?" Pinkie says. "I bet you like 'em."
  565. >They are nice
  566. >Is it weird to think that?
  567. >Oh God, you really hope your last orgasm isn't in Fluttershy's throat
  568. >Demon Twi rolls her eyes and begins ignoring Pinkie
  569. >"If you're trying to bribe me with mere drawings, then you must be--"
  570. >Just then Pinkie takes a big novelty bat eraser and starts erasing one of the drawings
  571. >Demon Twi sees this and her face cringes into a look of pain
  572. >Her eyes shut and, when they open again, they're purple
  573. >"Pinkie, don't erase that one! It took me hours to get that scaley texture right!"
  574. >Twilight winces and starts holding her head
  575. >Fluttershy comes up gasping for breath and collapses on top of your crotch
  576. >Man, she just might've saved your dick
  577. >You can never let her know that though
  578. >Twilight meanwhile is on the floor and appears to be having some kind of seizure for her life
  579. >A mixture of her screams and the demon's fill the room, both of them arguing about dicks
  580. >You help Fluttershy up and eventually all three of you are watching Twilight thrash around on the floor
  581. So, uh, anyone got any ideas on how to cure her?
  582.  
  583. well, what do?
  584. **************
  585. Quickly conceal your boner so not to further antagonize the demon AND Fluttershy. Order Pinkie to keep erasing until Twi's autism overpowers the demon's lust.
  586.  
  587. Erase more drawings.
  588. **************
  589.  
  590. >Everyone is silent, while Twilight still continues to writhe in agony on the floor
  591. >Your eyes travel back and forth between Pinkie and Fluttershy
  592. >Fluttershy is busy staring at your neverending demon boner
  593. >Huh, it's all red and twitchy
  594. >You're sure Twilight would draw this one if she wasn't fucking possessed
  595. >And Flutters is practically hypnotized by it
  596. >And Pinkie is . . . somewhere
  597. >Huh, where'd she go?
  598. >Suddenly you feel Fluttershy bat at your demon cock
  599. >It wiggles back and forth like a spring doorstop
  600. >She giggles while watching it flap around
  601. >Sigh and tuck it in your waistband
  602. >She then snaps out from her trance, blinks her eyes and looks around
  603. >"Huh? What are we talking about?"
  604. >Just then Pinkie appears out from somewhere and raises her hoof
  605. >Even though you scowl at her, she just smiles
  606. I thought I told you to stop raising your--
  607. >"Oh, what is it, Pinkie?" Fluttershy politely asks
  608. >"We should put Twilight in bondage!"
  609. >She smiles like she just solved the math problem on the board that has stumped everyone else in class
  610. >The problem is, of course, a word problem about rape, because it's a rape class
  611. >Huh, you really thought Fluttershy would've been the star student, but she's been quiet
  612. >Look over at Fluttershy
  613. >Catch her with her hooves mere inches away from your belt
  614. >Flick her on the nose and look back at Pinkie
  615. Alright, we better find something to tie her up with
  616. >"I found something outside in the bushes," Pinkie says
  617. >She reaches into her mane and then tosses out a length of rope
  618. >Fluttershy's eyes widen
  619. >"Oh, Pinkie, that's my . . ."
  620. >She stops herself when she sees you start to watch her suspiciously
  621. >"Um, nevermind."
  622. >You decide to temporarily ignore that Fluttershy was again planning to commit some serious felonies against you
  623. >Right now you need to secure Twilight before the demon gets back its full strength
  624. Alright, Fluttershy, you're on bondage duty.
  625. >"Oh, well then you b-better bend over and drop your--"
  626. For Twilight, nimrod.
  627. >She scrunches her muzzle, then looks away and mutters a barely audible apology before picking the rope up in her mouth
  628. While she's tying her up, Pinkie, your job will be to weaken the demon. Erasing those drawings seemed to do the trick, so keep doing that.
  629. >She raises her hoof
  630. Goddammit, are you doing that just to piss me off now? What is it?
  631. >"Can I make copies of the drawings before I start to erase them?"
  632. I don't think we have time.
  633. >Her jaw drops; she starts frantically flipping through the journal
  634. >"Surely we can make time for masterpieces like these!"
  635. >She finds a page and then pushes it in your face
  636. >They're your dicks
  637. >Pinkie just shoved a bunch of your dicks in your face
  638. >You never thought you'd ever have said such a thing before tonight
  639. >Also, just how many drawings has Twilight made of you?
  640. >'I was just copying what was on the pumpkin outside!'
  641. >Stupid lying dick-obsessed horse
  642. >Push the journal out of the way
  643. We don't have time to make copies of every single drawing.
  644. >"Not true!" Pinkie says. "I can do these babies in my sleep."
  645. Weird. I mean, do you even think about these things before you say them? I'm not exactly invisible here.
  646. >Fluttershy, who was stepping on top of Twilight's shoulder blades, pulling tight the knots that bound her friend's arms behind her back, spits the rope out from her mouth
  647. >"I'm finished."
  648. >You blink in shock as your eyes go over Twilight's immobile body
  649. >Fluttershy's intricate rope work, which she did in mere seconds, has expertly bound her friend's arms, legs and wings in tight loops and knots that all seem to be connected, as though there was a big rope cradle around her body
  650. >She even managed to have Twilight's horn pulled on from behind by a slipknot, bending the tender bone and rendering it useless
  651. >Seeing all this, and knowing that she'd just love it if that were you rather than Twilight, greatly disturbs you
  652. >She steps off her friend's back and approaches you
  653. >Stay calm
  654. >Show no fear, boy, cause she probably knows what that smells like when it comes to you
  655. >She looks up at you with an innocent smile
  656. >"Well, how did I do?"
  657. Fine, fine.
  658. >She cocks her head while staring up at you
  659. >You don't look nervous, do you?
  660. >Oh, now you're starting to sweat
  661. >You got to get those big blue devil eyes off of you
  662. >Gesture towards Twilight
  663. So was the, uh, rope pulling up her tail really necessary?
  664. >She shrugs
  665. >"Oh, that's just a force of habit. Do you think I should gag her, though?"
  666. >"I don't know," Pinkie says, jumping right in. "You're the expert, so I trust whatever you decide to do. I mean, wowie, you sure did a good job tying her up."
  667. >"I know," she says with a giggle
  668. >Then she raises her hoof
  669. Uh, yes, Fluttershy?
  670. >"I think we should make sure to make copies of Twilight's drawings."
  671. >Pinkie nods
  672. >"See? She gets it."
  673. Fine. Pinkie, you make the copies and tell me which dicks to erase.
  674. >Pinkie gives you the journal
  675. >Grimace when you see it's still open to that page featuring your . . . talent
  676. We're going to start with this page.
  677. >"Already on it," Pinkie says, showing you a complete, perfect copy of the page you were looking at
  678. >Actually, she made the dicks bigger
  679. >And she gave them all different kinds of silly party hats on their heads
  680. >Fluttershy raises her hoof
  681. >"Do you think I could get a copy of that?"
  682. >"Well, we'll have to talk about price, you know . . ."
  683. >Roll your eyes while they gather close to discuss business
  684. >You then meet eyes with Demon Twilight
  685. >She struggles vainly in her rope prison
  686. >You slowly turn the page of dicks over for her to see
  687. >She sneers
  688. >"Your defenses are as weak and pathetic as your mortal cock, you wretch!"
  689. >Yeah, whatever
  690. >Like, at least you weren't the one who got tied up by some banana Laffy Taffy horse
  691. >You grab your novelty bat eraser and start erasing the drawings in the journal
  692. >Devil Twilight growls, grits her teeth, and wrenches her eyes shut
  693. >You keep erasing until you're furiously rubbing your bat's wings all over the page
  694. >Her strain grows to the point that her eyes begin bulging out as you erase the last of your dicks
  695. >She howls in a pained mix of both Twilight and the demon's voices once the page is shown to be empty
  696. >"No! The dicks! I can hear them howling!"
  697. >You ignore her and turn the page
  698. Well, let's see what's next here. . . . Oh, it appears to be titled the Spike Section.
  699. >It's gross, but you try to sound enthusiastic about it
  700. >This time, when her eyes open again, they're purple
  701. >"Guys!" Twilight says
  702. >All three of you call out her name
  703. I can't believe this is working.
  704. >"Guys," Twilight says, "would you please put down my journal and stop erasing all my dicks!"
  705. >It's silent for a moment
  706. >You knit your brows
  707. No.
  708. >Twilight starts glaring at you
  709. >"Why not?"
  710. >Feel your eye twitch involuntarily
  711. Why not? Why not?! You're fucking possessed by some crazy dick demon that Fluttershy conjured up.
  712. >"It was, um, your idea . . ." Fluttershy mumbles
  713. >"I know I'm possessed," Twilight says. "I can hear her in my head right now, going on and on about dicks, dicks, dicks."
  714. >Huh, sounds like what Fluttershy's inner monologue would be
  715. >And, seeing how this night has gone so far, probably Pinkie's too
  716. >"Look, I don't think you're actually hurting this demon by erasing my dicks."
  717. But the demon can hear them screaming.
  718. >"Can heard them what? Look, I don't know, but I think you're just going to have to think of something else."
  719. But we got nothing.
  720. >Just then Twilight's eyes roll backwards in her head
  721. >When she opens them again, the demon is back
  722. >"Then you'll probably fail, and I'll get to drag her soul down to hell so that she may be tortured for eternity."
  723. >The demon smiles
  724. >"Tortured by giant dicks with dick-shaped spears."
  725. >You all gasp as the demon begins laughing
  726. >The three of you huddle up
  727. Okay, we gotta think of something else before Twilight's soul gets taken to dick hell.
  728. >With an unsure expression, Fluttershy slowly raises her hoof
  729. >You resist the urge to scream at this
  730. What, Fluttershy?
  731. >"Maybe we should, um, destroy the journal."
  732. >Huh, that might work
  733. >Or at the very least it might make Twilight come back for a while
  734. >Long enough to give you a better idea
  735. >Pinkie is shocked, though
  736. >"How can you even suggest that?!"
  737. >"We need to keep talking with Twilight," Fluttershy says
  738. >"But at what cost?" Pinkie says. "At what cost?"
  739. This feels like it's going to end with us drawing and erasing dicks for the rest of our lives in an attempt to keep Twilight from going to dick hell.
  740. >"Nope," Pinkie says. "I know how to bring Twilight back without destroying any more of her masterpieces."
  741. >She smiles and then whispers to you both:
  742. >"And it's actually something I've wanted to do to Twilight for a really long time."
  743. >Well that sounded rapey; no surprised there
  744. >She also seems way too happy about whatever she's thinking of right now
  745. I don't know. The journal thing has worked so far, and I kind of want to destroy it anyway.
  746. >"Hey, stupids," Demon Twilight says, "you know she told you not to keep touching her journal, right?"
  747. Could you not interrupt, you rude hellspawn?
  748. >"Oh, what, I'm not allowed to join in the conversation? I'm here too, you know?"
  749. >You ignore her and give the others an unsure look
  750. >"Destroy the journal, maybe," Fluttershy mumbles
  751. >"You really shouldn't," Demon Twilight says, shrugging
  752. >"Please, please pick me!" Pinkie says, raising her hoof and waving it around
  753.  
  754. what do?
  755. ********
  756. Listen to Pinkie's plan.
  757. ********
  758.  
  759. >You know what, you got eraser for days, but only one journal
  760. >Might not be a good idea to destroy it after all
  761. All right, we aren't destroying the journal. Pinkie, you're in.
  762. >"I won't let you down, coach," she says with a salute
  763. >You're not enthused
  764. >"Glad you took my advice," Demon Twilight says.
  765. Don't act so smug. I just handed you over to Pinkie Pie. She could literally do anything to you.
  766. >"Oh please. I've borne witness to atrocities that would make mortals like you go insane if you caught just a glimpse of them."
  767. Nah, you seem like kind of a sperg, what with the dicks and all. I'll bet you only heard about those atrocities but never actually got to join in any of them cause they were only for the cool demons.
  768. >Her face falls flat
  769. >"T-That's ridiculous," she says
  770. >"Not really. It can happen to anyone," Fluttershy says, folding her ears
  771. >Demon Twilight just rolls her eyes
  772. >Pinkie walks with a swagger over to the immobile Twilight until she stands over her
  773. >Then Pinkie trembles with excitement
  774. >"Now I can finally do something I've always wanted to."
  775. >She bends down and sticks her head deep in the lower crevices of Twilight's body
  776. >Then she gives Twilight the biggest giggly raspberry on her chubby purple stomach that you think you've ever seen anyone give anybody
  777. >Demon Twilight's eyes widen and she screams in a mix of surprise and embarrassed pleasure
  778. >"Ah! What are you doing?!"
  779. >Pinkie giggles, then presses her lips against the soft tummy and blows again
  780. >With all spit and vibrating flesh, it sounds like a motorboat with a blubber propeller had just taken off at super sonic speeds into a lake of infinite pleasure
  781. >Demon Twi is writhing and struggling not to giggle in that terrible voice of her's
  782. >"Ha! Stop this instant! Heh, heh! I will fucking spear your guts with a gigantic pierced dick and have dipped inch by inch into a pit of hellfire--Ha, ha, ha! Stop it!"
  783. >It's kind of cute to watch, even if her voice is making the walls shake
  784. >Eventually, between uncontrollable laughs, Demon Twilight groans and says to herself:
  785. >"Okay, you know what, you can have this one until she's done."
  786. >The demon shuts her eyes and, when they open again, Twilight's purple color is back
  787. >"Guys, what's going on--AAAAAAAAA!"
  788. >"Oh, sorry, Twilight," Pinkie says, pulling her face out from her friend's torso
  789. >Twilight looks stunned for a moment but eventually shakes it off
  790. >"So what have you found out so far?" she says solemnly. "Anything that'll get this demon out of me?"
  791. >You all avoid her eyes by looking around the room
  792. >Eventually Pinkie elbows Fluttershy, so Fluttershy elbows you, and then you elbow nobody, which negates responsibility to you
  793. >Goddammit
  794. We've still got nothing, Twilight.
  795. >She scrunches her muzzle
  796. >"You've got to be kidding me."
  797. >You all shrug halfheartedly
  798. >"Did any of you even study the spell yet to see if there were any loopholes?"
  799. >Oh shit
  800. We were, uh, actually just about to do that, right, guys?
  801. >They both readily nod and confirm this lie
  802. >Then the demon's voice fill the room
  803. >"They totally weren't, actually."
  804. >"I know," Twilight says with a sigh
  805. We're working on it here, Twi.
  806. >"You better be."
  807. >After this her eyes roll back again and soon Demon Twilight is back
  808. >"She's totally screwed."
  809. >Yeah
  810. Fuck off, sperg. We've got this.
  811. >You turn to the others
  812. Right?
  813. >"That's right," Fluttershy says
  814. >"Yeah, we can't lose if we just stick together," Pinkie says
  815. All right, cool. So who's got the book?
  816. >No one responds
  817. >You all begin scanning the room
  818. >"Oh, there it is," Pinkie says
  819. Where?
  820. >She points to the other side of the room, about twelve feet away, where the book lies on the floor
  821. >Just in time for a flaming skeleton arm to shoot up from the floor next to it and grab it
  822. >The skeleton arm straightens up and starts slowly descending, bringing the book down to hell
  823. Nah, can't have that.
  824. >You all start running for the book
  825. >Demon Twilight crawls past you all on the ceiling and gets ahead of you
  826. >She drops down before you all
  827. >Then a wall of green flames ignites behind her and spans the entire length of the room
  828. >One of you is going to have to take her down
  829. >And fast, before the book is gone forever
  830.  
  831. what do?
  832. ********
  833. i thought demon-Twi was bondaged up by Pinkie? Also, throw Fluttershy at Twilight as a distraction, then jump dive for the book.
  834.  
  835. Demon-twi crawled like a worm, I'm assuming. Also, second.
  836.  
  837. crawling like a worm on the ceiling huh? that's actually impressive
  838. ********
  839.  
  840. >You look from Demon Twi to Fluttershy, confused
  841. I thought you tied her up?
  842. >"She is tied up."
  843. >What? No she is--
  844. >You look again and see that she's standing up on her straightened hind legs
  845. Oh . . . well, that's retarded.
  846. >"Fools!" Demon Twilight bellows. "While I may have been incapacitated before, your pink friend's saliva has become your own undoing."
  847. >She juts out her pudgy tummy, its slick surface shining in the light of the flames
  848. >Then she flops faces you and falls forward
  849. >And she slides right at you like a bowling ball that's going for a set of pins
  850. >You scatter, you and Fluttershy going one way, Pinkie going the other
  851. >Demon Twilight begins sliding all over the room, like a penguin that's sliding on ice
  852. >And she's meeting no resistance whatsoever from anything at all on the floor
  853. >Why, oh, why did Twilight have to ruin all your kick ass decorations before she got possessed?
  854. >You keep track of Demon Twilight's movements, eager to take her out while she's sliding
  855. >When you see your chance, you scoop Fluttershy up in your arms
  856. Fluttershy, I need to throw you!
  857. >She swoons
  858. >"Oh, I knew this day would come. Take me now!"
  859. >Her mind never leaves the gutter, it seems
  860. >She better understands what you mean once you lift her up over your head like a surfboard
  861. You're about to become a speed bump, Fluttershy.
  862. >"Oh dear."
  863. Don't mess this up.
  864. >She screams as you toss her in front of Demon Twilight
  865. >She lands right where Demon Twilight is about to slide
  866. >Demon Twilight gasps, realizing she's about to crash
  867. >Then she bounces herself up off the ground, much like one would do during the dance known as the worm
  868. >She laughs as she soars through the air
  869. >"You poor, poor dick plebeians! Did you really think your foolish efforts would--"
  870. >She crashes headfirst through your broken window and lands in the bushes outside
  871. >". . . I'm currently being bled."
  872. >Soon the flames disappear and lights come back on
  873. >But the skeleton arm still has the book, and it's almost gone!
  874. >You jump dive and grab the book by its spine, just in the nick of time
  875. >You begin a tug of war with the skeleton arm, who is surprisingly strong
  876. >"Come on, put your muscles into it!" Pinkie shouts
  877. I'm trying, but he's stronger than he looks.
  878. >"He's literally made of bones."
  879. Well, maybe he really drinks his milk, Ponk. I don't know.
  880. >Where is she anyway?
  881. >You look up and see that Pinkie is now the one that's sliding around on the ceiling
  882. Dammit, Ponk, get down here and help me!
  883. >"Okie!"
  884. >She drops down and lands behind the bone arm
  885. >Then she starts digging around in her mane
  886. >"Hmm, let's see here . . . it's not there . . . nope . . . nuh-uh . . . that's an anchor . . . nope. . . ."
  887. >You can feel the skeleton dragging you forward now
  888. Pinkie!
  889. >"I got it!"
  890. >She pulls a red feather out from her mane
  891. >"I'll bet that, like most skeletons, he's very ticklish."
  892. >She smiles at you like she just told a great joke
  893. >You are going to kill this horse, if you don't end up in hell first
  894. >She uses the back of her feather to lightly brush behind at the back of the skeleton's elbow
  895. >How the feather isn't catching on fire is beyond you, but then again you should probably have third-degree burns by now anyway
  896. >The skeleton arm begins trembling uncontrollably
  897. >Its grip soon slips from the book and it falls back into the depths of hell from whence it came
  898. >You breathe a sigh of relief
  899. >Then Pinkie grabs the book out from your hands
  900. >"Fluttershy, I got the book."
  901. Uh, actually, I was the one that--
  902. >"Oh, and thank goodness you did, Pinkie."
  903. No, not Pinkie, I was--
  904. >"Now we can start looking for a loophole."
  905. >She trots over and soon the two of them are flipping through the pages
  906. Uh, guys?
  907. >They're too busy looking through the book to notice you
  908. Guys, shouldn't one of us go get Twilight?
  909. >"No, it wasn't that one," Fluttershy says
  910. >"I'll keep going."
  911. >They aren't paying any attention to you for some reason
  912. >Maybe if you raised your hand . . . ?
  913. >Or you could just say fuck 'em and go check by yourself
  914. >Demon Twilight isn't that dangerous
  915. >R-Right?
  916.  
  917. what do?
  918. ********
  919. Sack up and go find her yourself, shes all tied up, and can't use her magic.
  920. ********
  921.  
  922. >Look back at Fluttershy and Pinkie as they face each other
  923. >"Fluttershy, I just know we can do this with the power of teamwork!"
  924. >"You're absolutely right, Pinkie!"
  925. >Just then they raise their hooves over their heads and bump them together
  926. >Then they both shout: "Yeah, teamwork and friendship!"
  927. >Then they hug again
  928. >. . . Yeah, maybe you'll just do this one on your own
  929. >You might catch the gay otherwise
  930. >They both notice you then, and they regard you with confusion
  931. >"Oh, are you still here?" Fluttershy says
  932. >You blink slowly to show your contempt
  933. This is my house.
  934. >"Well, aren't you going to go get Twilight?" Pinkie says
  935. What? That's what I've been trying to say this entire time.
  936. >"I thought you were out getting Twilight."
  937. >You stare at them both incredulously
  938. I was right here! Standing right by you both while you ignored me!
  939. >"There, there," Fluttershy says, patting your thigh. "If it makes you feel better, I knew you were there."
  940. No, you didn't.
  941. >"I know. But did it make you feel better?"
  942. >You smack her hoof away, which doesn't seem especially rude when you consider that it was headed towards that demon boner of yours
  943. >Man, why do you still have that thing?
  944. You know, I think I'll go get Twilight by myself.
  945. >Start heading for the door
  946. >Fluttershy stands up
  947. >"I can come with you if you--"
  948. No need for that.
  949. >"But if you want the attention--"
  950. I was wrong. Just ignore me.
  951. >"Oh, well, okay then. Be careful, she's dangerous."
  952. Thanks for the info.
  953. >"Do you still have that boner?
  954. Not answering that.
  955. >"We love you."
  956. >"Bring back that demon before you come home!" Pinkie shouts after you
  957. >By this point you'd rather have the dick demon's company anyways
  958. >The streets are calmer outside as the night darkens into the double digit hours
  959. >You can see no trick or treaters and half of the houses on your street have their lights off
  960. >You go around the corner of your house and walk among the tall bushes that line this wall
  961. >You reach the broken window and find Demon Twilight all tangled up in one bush
  962. >Her face is pressed against the dirt and is holding up the rest of her body, which is still stuck in the leaves
  963. >You stop and stand at the top of her head
  964. >Her ear twitches your way
  965. >"I know you're there, you accursed mortal," she says, groaning into the dirt. "Lift me up out of this filth or else!"
  966. Or else what? Most of your weird demon stuff has already gone away.
  967. >"I'll . . . rub dirt into the wounds on your friend's face!"
  968. >She very halfheartedly starts burying her face further into the dirt
  969. >"If you don't stop me, then she will get an infection!"
  970. What happened to dragging her soul to hell?
  971. >"I will eventually do that as well!"
  972. >You grab her by the back of her neck and pick her up
  973. >Her wounds are just little cuts, ones you probably wouldn't have noticed if she had never mentioned them
  974. >She starts glaring at you
  975. >"What are you staring at?"
  976. You're a real wimp, you know that?
  977. >"How dare an insignificant mortal such as you would try to insult me! Release me at once!"
  978. Alright.
  979. >You pick her up, turn her over and then toss her back through the window headfirst
  980. >She lands right in front of Fluttershy, who trips over her
  981. >And then the last of the remaining glass in your window falls out
  982. >Demon Twilight, in a rage, thrashes on the ground
  983. >"I will send you all to a hell where your tongues have been replaced by unshaven dicks!"
  984. >"Oh, hey, she's back," Pinkie says. "Nice work."
  985. >You wipe your hands clean
  986. Thank you, Ponk. And you as well, Fluttershy. Seeing you trip, well, you actually helped make me feel better.
  987. >"That's nice," she says, rubbing the spot where she hit her head. "I was just coming out to tell you that--"
  988. >"We found the page with the spell," Pinkie says
  989. Wow. Good work, Pinkie.
  990. >She nods proudly, despite Fluttershy's sighing
  991. >"Anyway, you should probably come back in now," Pinkie says
  992. >"Yes, come back in," Demon Twilight says. "And then die!"
  993. >No one even responds to this
  994. >Though she's scowling, her eyes have lowered self-consciously
  995. >"I mean, die in hell--dick hell!"
  996. >Man, she's really lost any menacing touch she might've had
  997. >Just then you spot something in the flattened spot where Demon Twilight was
  998. >It's the chainsaw
  999. >You pull it out from the bushes and hold it up to the window
  1000. Hey, guys, check out what I just found.
  1001. >"Yeah, we don't really have time for pumpkin carving right now, though," Pinkie says
  1002. >The doorbell rings
  1003. >"Is that a trick or treater?" Pinkie says
  1004. >"At this hour?" Fluttershy says
  1005. It must be.
  1006. >As this happens you regard your chainsaw for a moment
  1007. >You could go scare whoever it is
  1008. >After all, this could be your last chance to really have some fun this Halloween
  1009. >But maybe you should just forget it, be responsible and focus on Twilight
  1010. >It sounds like their's only one pony at the door anyway
  1011.  
  1012. what do?
  1013. ********
  1014. Answer the door, you can't just let a trick or treater stand outside on Halloween, not like Twilight's going anywhere.
  1015.  
  1016. This, except swing the door open while flailing the chainsaw around and screaming Resident Evil 4 style.
  1017.  
  1018. This but also use twilight as a prop
  1019.  
  1020. Chainsaw in one hand, Twilight in the other. Dual wield those suckers
  1021. ********
  1022.  
  1023. >"Maybe we should turn off the lights until they leave," Fluttershy says
  1024. And ruin their Halloween too? No way.
  1025. >You hop through the window
  1026. >Start pulling the cord to the chainsaw
  1027. The kind of pony that would keep trick or treating long after everyone else has stopped is definitely the kind of Halloween lover I admire.
  1028. >Keep pulling the cord
  1029. >Fucker just won't start
  1030. >Prime it some more and then keep pulling the cord
  1031. I can't let whoever that is leave without at least having scared the everloving shit out of them first.
  1032. >You pull the cord for about the tenth time, sweat dampening your brow
  1033. It just wouldn't be right. . . . Ugh! Did this thing break when I threw it or something?
  1034. >Pinkie comes over and takes the chainsaw out from your hands
  1035. >She starts it in one pull, and with her mouth no less
  1036. Show off.
  1037. >Then she shuts it off
  1038. >"I like Nightmare Night, too," she says, "but we have to focus on helping Twilight."
  1039. >You regard her serious face for a moment
  1040. You're absolutely right, Pinkie. Here, give me that.
  1041. >She slowly gives you the saw
  1042. >You take it up solemnly, then quickly pull the cord
  1043. >It starts
  1044. >You rev it up, spinning the blade a few times
  1045. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ISra-VumtY
  1046. >Pinkie and Fluttershy's eyes go wide
  1047. >"Hey, what are you doing?!" Pinkie shouts. "I thought we were helping Twilight."
  1048. Nah, I'm getting Twilight to help me.
  1049. >"That's not what I meant!"
  1050. >You lightly push Pinkie out of the way and go to Demon Twilight
  1051. >She's snarling and struggling as usual as you reach your hand out towards her
  1052. >"I don't want to help you! Keep your filthy, grabby worm dicks away from me! No!"
  1053. >Scoop her up, wrap your arm around her barrel and hold her inside your shoulder
  1054. >Chainsaw in one hand and Twilight under your arm, you rush towards the door
  1055. >Man, you hope that this trick or treater has hearing problems
  1056. >You'll probably have back problems yourself after all this
  1057. >This shit is heavy!
  1058. >And Twilight still thrashing around isn't helping
  1059. >Try to shout at her over the chainsaw noise
  1060. Make sure to do something scary when I open the door!
  1061. >"When I'm back in hell I'm going to curse you! I'll have you driven insane with constant visions of fiery dick demons!"
  1062. That's good, keep it up!
  1063. >Your door swings open with one kick, which is exactly how you had altered it to be done weeks before
  1064. >When it comes to Halloween, it pays to be prepared in scare emergencies such as this
  1065. >You jump out onto the front step and start waving around both the chainsaw and Twilight
  1066. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
  1067. >"Nobody's here, you idiot," Demon Twilight says
  1068. >Wait, what?
  1069. >Stop and look around
  1070. >You're all alone out here
  1071. >You drop Demon Twilight--"Ow! You bastard!"--and then turn off the chainsaw
  1072. >You listen
  1073. >Hear your screams echoing in the empty streets
  1074. I don't get it. Where'd my trick or treater go?
  1075. >There's a huge roar from above you
  1076. >"ROAR!!!! I'm Mike Tyson!!!"
  1077. >You look up
  1078. >See Rainbow Dash divebombing you, while dressed up as Superman
  1079. >While you're trying to process what the actual fuck is going on she crashes right into your face
  1080. >She wraps her arms around your neck, squeezing it tight
  1081. >"Ha! I got you in a headlock, bro!"
  1082. >Not only that but something is rubbing against your face
  1083. >She's wearing fucking boxing gloves
  1084. >There are fucking boxing gloves in your face right now
  1085. >You grab at her arms but her grip around your neck is tight
  1086. >Damn tiny pony arms
  1087. >"Don't even try to escape, bro! I'm super saiyan right now."
  1088. >Demon Twilight sees you choking and gets excited
  1089. >"Yes! Do it, kill him! Make him choke on dicks!"
  1090. >You manage to give her a kick in the ribs before falling to your knees
  1091. >Dash starts grinding herself against your back
  1092. >"Oh yeah, I'm full of tiger blood! Winning!"
  1093. >You really regret all that time you spent teaching her about old memes
  1094. >You're really starting to feel lightheaded now
  1095. >"Just submit, bro. Say you've had enough of the Dash and I'll make like a tree and get out of here."
  1096.  
  1097. what do?
  1098. ********
  1099. Overpower her with the intense irony of new memes
  1100.  
  1101. This, and correct her by smacking her upside the head and say, "Its LEAVE! Make like a tree and LEAVE!"
  1102. ********
  1103.  
  1104. >Just then the powers that be bless you with renewed energy
  1105. >And it all comes from five little words
  1106. >You barely manage to choke them out
  1107. >Dash's ear twitches and she leans in close to your face
  1108. >"What was that? You mad, bro?"
  1109. I said . . . you need to go back!
  1110. >You spring up to your feet and slam Dash against the back of your wall
  1111. >"Agh! You're going to have to try harder than that! I'm epic for the win!"
  1112. Implying you're winning.
  1113. >"Uh, what? I'm clearly winning."
  1114. Implying what you're doing is winning.
  1115. >Her grip starts to slacken
  1116. >The power of new memes, even when said without any context whatsoever, seems to weaken her
  1117. >Eventually her grip tightens again
  1118. >"Whatever. Try to troll me all you want, but you aren't going to win this game without submitting to the Dash."
  1119. Implying games have to be won or even fun.
  1120. >"What does that mean?"
  1121. Brainless Wojack five dot jpeg!
  1122. >"What are you talking about?"
  1123. >Her grip weakens again
  1124. Boomers! Zoomers! Projecting! Smug Pepe! Just be yourself!
  1125. >You keep randomly spouting off memes and buzzwords
  1126. >Dash looks to Demon Twilight
  1127. >"Do you know what he's trying to do?"
  1128. >"In my experiences, one acts this way during incantations to the dick lords so as to please them and increase their chances for a successful summons."
  1129. >". . . Uh, you sound weird. Do you have a cold or something?"
  1130. >Dash, now totally confused, completely relaxes her arms
  1131. >Strike now!
  1132. Remember when memes weren't just endless Pepes and Wojacks?!
  1133. >You grab her by the mane and pull her over your head
  1134. >You wrap her up in a bear hug
  1135. >She starts wiggling and kicking, struggling to free her arms
  1136. >"Okay, fine, you win."
  1137. >This should have been enough to let her go but the power of memes has completely taken over your mind
  1138. We can't stop until we slash thread this.
  1139. >"Until we what?"
  1140. >Start holding Dash beneath your shoulder
  1141. >"Woah! Hey, what are you doing?!"
  1142. >You point
  1143. >She falls silent when she sees the broken window
  1144. >"Woah, woah, not that. I can't go through that again."
  1145. >Start sprinting at the window while holding Dash outwards like a battering ram
  1146. >She starts freaking out
  1147. >"Ah! Please, stop! Seriously, don't do it!"
  1148. Sorry, Dash. But I'm crashing this window . . . with no survivors!
  1149. >Impact point is imminent
  1150. >Your sprinting reaches super sanic speeds
  1151. >Dash shuts her eyes
  1152. >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"
  1153. So long gay Bowser! Put me in the screencap! Zoomed Words!
  1154. >Then, just when you reach the empty window, you come to a complete stop
  1155. >You wait until Dash risks taking a peek out from beneath her barely-open eyes
  1156. Hey, Dash, by the way . . .
  1157. >She looks up at you
  1158. >You smile, then smack her upside the head
  1159. It's LEAVE! Make like a tree and LEAVE!
  1160. >And then you toss her out the empty window
  1161. >She rolls across the divot in the bushes and goes tumbling across the ground
  1162. >She lies completely still, her back facing you
  1163. >Then she slowly sits up and feels herself all over
  1164. >"No blood? No life flashing before my eyes, no icy feeling of death stopping my heart. . . ."
  1165. >She breathes a sigh of relief
  1166. >You start laughing, and she turns on you
  1167. >"What's your problem?"
  1168. Nothing. It's just, you thought you were going to die.
  1169. >"Uh, cause I almost did die, doing the exact same thing last time."
  1170. Yeah, but you didn't. So why you scared, bro?
  1171. >"I still have trauma."
  1172. Trauma is all in the mind, bro. Just use your will to get over it.
  1173. >You and Dash lock eyes, her firm and you jesting
  1174. >Eventually a small smirk wins out on her face
  1175. >"Okay, I'll admit it, that was a pretty epic troll."
  1176. Totally suits the holiday, right?
  1177. >"You know what, it so does."
  1178. >She laughs, gets up and then flies up to the window
  1179. >"So how'd you get Twilight to go along with it?"
  1180. Oh, she's just been possessed by a dick demon for the better part of the night.
  1181. >"That's so epic--wait, what?"
  1182. >Dash regards all the faces in the room for a moment before heading over to check on Twilight
  1183. >Left alone, Fluttershy turns towards you
  1184. >"I'm starting to think you might be a toxic person."
  1185. Takes one to know one.
  1186. >Dash comes back in, and you instantly notice the new dark rings that have sunken themselves under her eyes
  1187. >"Uh, guys, Twilight just showed me what happens when we die, and I recognized every moment of it."
  1188. >She makes an effort at blinking
  1189. >Then she walks over to the corner of the room, clears herself a spot in the pile of plastic bones, and sinks down into the fetal position
  1190. >"I'm gonna need a minute."
  1191. >She immediately starts shivering
  1192. >You purse your lips and then turn to Fluttershy and Pinkie
  1193. So have you guys found a stupid loophole yet or what?
  1194.  
  1195. alright, what happens next?
  1196. ***************************
  1197. Go out and fetch demon Twilight, can't have her wriggling her way into hiding to free herself.
  1198. ***************************
  1199.  
  1200. >Fluttershy raises her hoof and says:
  1201. >"Uh, shouldn't one of us go get Twilight?"
  1202. Oh, I guess we--
  1203. >Just then you hear a heavy iron mechanism spring shut
  1204. >"AH! Release me, you puny hellhound, before I drive a silver dick into your skull!"
  1205. Yeah, she's not going anywhere, but she'll probably get Twilight killed if we don't watch her.
  1206. >After carefully removing a bear trap from Twilight's plot with a crowbar and some salt, you decide that just having her tied up isn't enough anymore
  1207. >Soon she's pouting on the floor
  1208. >Occasionally, she looks down at the black trash bag that's swallowed up her entire body, and she starts grousing
  1209. >"I refuse to be humiliated like this! To be ensnared by your pathetic plastic sack for storing refuse."
  1210. Hey, that's a Hefty trash bag, and I will not have you insulting it.
  1211. >You glare at each other for a while until she rolls over onto her face in some strange way to spite you
  1212. >She groans into the floor as you meet with Fluttershy and Pinkie
  1213. Seriously, please tell me you found something. I can't take much more of this.
  1214. >"Well, we might not have summoned who you think we summoned," Fluttershy says
  1215. What do you mean?
  1216. >Pinkie points at the page with the sick ass goat demon
  1217. >"See, you were trying to summon this guy, but his spell is actually on the other page."
  1218. Seriously?
  1219. >Pinkie nods and then points to some small text underneath the demon's depiction
  1220. >'Spell located on the next page'
  1221. >Who the fuck put this book together?
  1222. Okay, so who's inside Twilight right now?
  1223. >Fluttershy turns backwards one page
  1224. >It depicts some purple demon, sorta horselike, with huge wings and a flaming mane
  1225. >"She's called Midnight Sparkle."
  1226. Huh, never heard of her.
  1227.  
  1228. ********
  1229. Put a ball gag in demon Twi's mouth to shut her up. Then, read the book to get more info on midnight sparkle. If need be, contact someone with experience in dealing with possessions.
  1230.  
  1231. Let's go talk to Zecora, maybe she knows how to fix this
  1232. ********
  1233.  
  1234. >From behind you, you hear Demon Twilight harrumph
  1235. >Fluttershy continues
  1236. >"It says here that she's a magical entity, one who corrupts its subject with dark magic until they've lost all control."
  1237. Does it explain anywhere in there why she's such a turbo-slut?
  1238. >"Hey!" Demon Twilight shouts
  1239. >You try to ignore her, and listen closely to what Fluttershy is saying (for probably the first time ever in your life)
  1240. >"It says here that she's at her strongest when she's either near dicks, or if she still has a soul when the moon is at its highest in the sky."
  1241. >"That's midnight," Pinkie says. "What time is it now?"
  1242. >You look at the clock, and shiver
  1243. Ten-forty-two. We've barely got ninety minutes.
  1244. >"Um, that's not the worst part," Fluttershy says
  1245. >She swallows nervously and points out a certain passage
  1246. >"It also says here that if we don't free the possessed soul before Midnight Sparkle is at her fullest power, then Twilight will be lost forever."
  1247. >A cold silence falls over the room, except for Demon Twilight, who's humming a happy tune to herself
  1248. >Kinda sounds like the Oscar Mayer wiener song
  1249. >She's just loving that you're finally starting to see her as a threat again
  1250. >You don't want to even look behind you and see the smug face she must be making at you
  1251. Right. Well, we better act fast then.
  1252. >You turn to Fluttershy
  1253. How do we get this demon out of Twilight?
  1254. >And for God's sake, don't say it's with the magic of friendship
  1255. >She looks over the page again, then slowly folds her ears
  1256. >"Um, it doesn't say," Fluttershy says
  1257. >Okay, on second thought, the magic of friendship doesn't look so bad now
  1258. You've got to be kidding me.
  1259. >"Nope," Pinkie says
  1260. >She grabs the book and holds it out before you
  1261. >"It says here that you have to buy the second book in the series if you want to know how to undo any of the spells."
  1262. >She flips over to a full page advertisement in the back of the book
  1263. >'Tired of demons messing up your house?' it reads
  1264. >Pictured is a big green ogre eating onions, the smell of which is greatly annoying the wholesome pony family nearby him
  1265. >'Pre-order the second volume of the Spooky Spells collection. Coming soon!'
  1266. Alright, so we go to Twilight's and get the second volume.
  1267. >"I don't have it," Twilight says
  1268. >Turn around and see that Demon Twilight has receded and Twilight is back, for the time being
  1269. >Also, she's flinching at the face you're making at her
  1270. You don't have the one fucking book that we really need right now?!
  1271. >"It's not like I haven't been looking for it!" she cries. "It got a limited printing compared to the first book. It's a collectors item!"
  1272. >Twilight's eyes roll up inside her head and Demon Twilight is soon back
  1273. >"I'm also a collector," she says. "A collector of souls and dicks!"
  1274. >She begins cackling so hard that she starts rolling around on the ground
  1275. >The only other one who laughs is Pinkie, and you smack her upside the head for it
  1276. >"OW! What'd you do that for?"
  1277. For encouraging her spergyness, if nothing else.
  1278. >Pinkie leans close to your ear
  1279. >"I was just doing it so she wouldn't feel bad," she whispers. "It's no fun when no pony laughs at your joke."
  1280. You thought that was a joke?
  1281. >"That one is actually an old favorite down in dick hell," Demon Twilight says. "You're smarter than you look, puny pink pony."
  1282. >"Aw. Thanks," Pinkie says. "I'd hug you, but you'd probably try to kill me if I got that close."
  1283. Don't flatter her, Pinkie. She can't do anything except rave about dicks, like the turbo-slut sperg she is.
  1284. >"Do not try to demean me, you puny dick mortal!"
  1285. Like anything I said was wrong. To be as obsessed with dicks as you are you either have to be a sperg, an eighth grader, or a turbo-slut. And those last two aren't mutually exclusive.
  1286. >"How dare you! I'll have you know . . . !"
  1287. >She then rolls onto her back and begins a rant about how she once almost took over all the magic that existed in some Barbie dimension or something
  1288. >Honestly, you weren't listening
  1289. >The second she started, you turned to Fluttershy and offered to take her up on that gagging she mentioned a while back
  1290. >"Um, I think I'm out of rope," she says, folding her ears and blushing
  1291. >"Trying to silence me will only end in failure!" Demon Twilight says. "Soon there will come a day when you shall all be silenced, for the dick rapture cometh . . . !"
  1292. >She starts up again
  1293. >You give Fluttershy a firm look
  1294. Don't tell me that you of all people doesn't have something to gag her with.
  1295. >Pinkie raises her hoof and says she found something
  1296. >She then reaches into her mane and tosses a ball gag before you all
  1297. >You're sad to say that you recognize it
  1298. >Fluttershy blushes and scrunches her muzzle
  1299. >"How do you keep finding these things of mine, Pinkie?"
  1300. >You glare at Fluttershy
  1301. Maybe if you'd stop bringing them with you every time.
  1302. >"But I might need them!" Fluttershy says, looking at you like you're crazy for trying to disrupt her routine
  1303. >You shake your head slowly until she looks downwards in shame
  1304. >She sighs, picks up the ball gag, then starts trudging over towards Demon Twilight
  1305. >Not gonna lie, things are looking bleak
  1306. >At this point you're kinda tempted to just throw Fluttershy back into that summoning circle and have her chant 'Ooga Booga' until something happens
  1307. >Hell, that's what started all this in the first place
  1308. >She might even end up summoning the chad demon who bullies Midnight for her lunch money everyday
  1309. >You could see Midnight as being the kind of sperg that got picked on all the time in school
  1310. >Hell, considering her behavior so far, Midnight might still be in school for all you know--definitely as an underclassman
  1311. >She definitely makes Fluttershy look attractive by comparison
  1312. >But then again, seeing how everything has turned out so far, you're convinced that giving Fluttershy the reigns again will just somehow make things even worse
  1313. >She's already basically killed her friend
  1314. >Give her the chance and you might be next
  1315. >Better find another way
  1316. Pinkie, is there anyone else who might have that book?
  1317. >"I don't know. I think we're going to need a little help from our friends for this one."
  1318. >You sigh
  1319. Just had to sneak in the whole friendship thing, didn't you?
  1320. >She shrugs with a smile
  1321. >"We need somepony that's good with magic."
  1322. Okay, what about that Starlight Glimmer girl?
  1323. >"She's not in town right now. She went back to her old village, wearing her oldmanecut and an equals sign over her cutie mark."
  1324. >Pinkie starts giggling at the image in her head
  1325. >You don't really get why, but it probably has something to do with Starlight's past or something
  1326. >She likes to talk about it a lot, which is why you mostly try to avoid her
  1327. >Pony backstories are always very boring
  1328. Well, can't Discord help?
  1329. >"Oh, he said he had to go hide out in the pumpkin patch," Fluttershy says, rejoining you
  1330. Is the patch far away or something?
  1331. >"In another dimension."
  1332. Seriously? Who else is even left then?
  1333. >"I saw Princess Luna walking around town," Pinkie says
  1334. She'd be a big help, but she could be anywhere by now.
  1335. >"How about Trixie?" Pinkie says
  1336. Opposite problem. She'd barely be any help. Besides I don't want to have to hear her talk in that annoying voice of hers.
  1337. >"All you guys have been doing is talking," Rainbow Dash says, sitting down next to you and looking fine
  1338. >Wasn't she catatonic just a second ago?
  1339. >She sees you staring at her oddly
  1340. >"What?"
  1341. Aren't you supposed to be slowly losing your mind?
  1342. >She shrugs
  1343. >"I got better."
  1344. >Well then . . .
  1345. >"Anyway, enough of all this talk," Rainbow Dash says. "We should take Twilight to Zecora's and see if she can help."
  1346. Man, she's even worse to listen to than Trixie.
  1347. >Everyone stares at you
  1348. >You purse your lips and then relent
  1349. Okay, fine. We'll go see Rhymin' Simon.
  1350. >You look back at Demon Twilight, bound and gagged
  1351. >Thank God she can't talk right now
  1352. >You don't think you could handle two annoying voices
  1353. It's been so peaceful since you've been silenced, my dear sperg.
  1354. >"Oh, really?" her demonic voice says, as it comes from all around in the room and shakes the walls
  1355. >Oh, right, you forgot she could do that
  1356. >Your face drops
  1357. >She smiles from behind her ball gag, her eyes lowering malevolently at you
  1358. >"Fools! You thought you could silence Midnight Sparkle?"
  1359. >Oh man, is she seriously going to start referring to herself in--
  1360. >"Midnight Sparkle cannot be silenced, cannot be stopped. And your dicks cannot be saved from Midnight Sparkle's wrath, puny mortals!"
  1361. >She throws her strapped head back and begins cackling menacingly
  1362. >Until she doubles over and starts coughing, her lips flapping against the spitty ball lodged in her mouth
  1363. >Huh, guess even demons need to make sure to swallow their spit
  1364. >Turn back towards the others
  1365. Alright, guys, we need to transport a demon across town.
  1366. >A second later you're all looking down at Demon Twilight, who's laid out in your little red wagon
  1367. >You wipe your hands clean
  1368. There we are. It's as good as if we were delivering cookies for the girl scouts.
  1369. >"Oh, do you remember that fetish guess, too?" Fluttershy says
  1370. Not now, Flutters.
  1371. >Demon Twilight glares at all of you with a look of pure and intense hatred
  1372. >You regard the empty space that's still left in the wagon
  1373. Do we need to bring anything else that's lying around here before we head out?
  1374.  
  1375. you can bring two big things and two small things
  1376. what do?
  1377. ********
  1378. Obviously we'll need the book. It's still halloween too, so we'll need the chainsaw in case we run into any more ponies we can scare on the way. And no Halloween is complete without candy, so bring all of what's left of it, including the good stuff you picked out.
  1379.  
  1380. Also, is there still room for the Metal Machine? Some music would be nice, listening to Twilight rave about dicks all the time is already getting old and ruining the spooky mood of the holiday.
  1381.  
  1382. Crap, i forgot about the journal of dicks. Do you think we should have packed that too?
  1383.  
  1384. Oh fuck your right. Yeah I think that is more important in this case then the metal machine, unfortunately.
  1385.  
  1386. Dude no, not the Metal Machine! The journal is a small item anyway, just skip the candy. I'm sure Ponka has plenty in her mane anyway
  1387.  
  1388. Ah, didn't even think of discarding the candy. But just so we're clear the items we have will be; Spell book, Chainsaw, Dick journal, and metal machine?
  1389.  
  1390. Yeah, that's the current plan. But we also consume some candy before we leave, i don't think we've had enough this whole evening
  1391.  
  1392. Also, it's Metal Machine. Show it some respect and capitalize it
  1393.  
  1394. Dubs confirm Metal Machine must be capitalized. Also yeah eats some candy. You'll need the energy.
  1395. ********
  1396.  
  1397. >Fluttershy raises her hoof and says:
  1398. >"I think we should bring Twilight's journal."
  1399. Of course you would. Pinkie, you're the packer, go get it.
  1400. >She salutes you and then does just that
  1401. And we should probably bring the spell book with. I mean, if worse comes to worse, we can always use it to hit Twilight with.
  1402. >Pinkie lifts Demon Twilight's head up and puts the spell book under it like a pillow
  1403. >"I think we should bring the chainsaw," Dash says. "That'd be epic for the win!"
  1404. Dash, don't ever say that again. Also, good thinking. Pinkie--
  1405. >"No worries, bro. I got this."
  1406. >Dash goes to pick up the chainsaw with her boxing glove-covered hooves
  1407. >She manages to life one end of it up before it slips out from her gloves and clatters down onto the floor
  1408. >She immediately tries again, and yields predictable results
  1409. >"Oh come on!"
  1410. >She keeps trying, clear strain and sweat visible all over her face
  1411. >You try not to let her hear you snickering
  1412. Dash . . .
  1413. >"I got this, bro!"
  1414. >At one point her gloves slip and she falls forward on her face
  1415. >Now she's just hitting the chainsaw with haymakers, and yelling at it
  1416. >Demon Twilight watches her while blinking in amazement
  1417. >Then, with dull eyes, she looks up at you
  1418. >"Your friend is an idiot."
  1419. Yeah.
  1420. >"Oh dear. I think she's getting really mad," Fluttershy says nervously. "Should we tell her to take off the gloves?"
  1421. Nah. Let's focus on getting the rest of the essentials.
  1422. >"Oh," Fluttershy says. "What's that?"
  1423. >You leave and eventually come back with a portable Walkman, some small battery-powered speakers, and a tape of Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music
  1424. >Fluttershy cringes when she sees the tape
  1425. >"Oh, that again. . . ."
  1426. If we're going to do this, then we got to have some spooky road music. And the music will drown out Little Miss Dicks a Lot over there.
  1427. >Demon Twilight rolls her eyes as you point at her
  1428. I think we can all agree that we're sick of hearing from her all the time. Right?
  1429. >Pinkie shrugs
  1430. >"Well, a joke can only be funny so many times."
  1431. Right. You agree, Dash?
  1432. >She's currently got the chainsaw held up over her head, and it's slipping out
  1433. >"Woah! No, no, no! Help! It's gonna--"
  1434. >You turn your head just as you hear the chassis ram its dull round edge into Dash's forehead
  1435. That's probably a yes. And since I know I'm sick of hearing her speak, then that means that literally everyone is sick of hearing her.
  1436. >Fluttershy raises her hoof
  1437. >"Well, actually, I--"
  1438. Not interested.
  1439. >You hit play on the Walkman
  1440. >Nothing plays, though
  1441. >You suddenly remember that there's no batteries in the speakers
  1442. >You could look around the house for some; you know there are a few somewhere
  1443. >Check the clock
  1444. >Ten-fifty-three
  1445. >Nah, by the time you eventually found the batteries it'd already be midnight
  1446. >Also . . .
  1447. Holy shit! It's already almost Eleven. We need to hurry this up.
  1448. >You run over to Dash
  1449. >With much strain evident on her red face, she finally picks the chainsaw up
  1450. >"Yes!"
  1451. >And you immediately rip it out from her hooves with ease
  1452. >Her face is that of a broken mare as she watches you take it away, as she reaches out in vain for it back
  1453. >You give it to Pinkie, who puts it away
  1454. Alright, we're almost ready. But first . . . does anyone have any batteries?
  1455. >You're already looking at Pinkie
  1456. >She starts digging in her mane
  1457. >"There we are!"
  1458. >She tosses out what looks like a big baguette onto the floor
  1459. >No, wait, that's not a baguette
  1460. >"Pinkie!" Fluttershy screams. "Where did you find that?!"
  1461. >She grabs Pinkie by the shoulders and starts shaking her back and forth
  1462. >Dash laughs her head off
  1463. >You go to the kitchen and put some rubber gloves on before taking the batteries out of the 'baguette'
  1464. >Damn, how did Ponk hide this thing in her mane?
  1465. >Then you put the batteries in the speakers, and the music begins
  1466. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5w02O-XdsXE
  1467. >Everyone's eyes widen for a moment
  1468. >Then their hooves go for their ears
  1469. >All except for Demon Twilight
  1470. >She's actually got her eyes closed, and her head is gently swaying back and forth
  1471. >Like she's actually grooving on it
  1472. >Huh, that dampens your enjoyment a bit
  1473. >You look at the full wagon
  1474. Well, guess that's everything.
  1475. >There's a loud knock at the door
  1476. >Everyone puts their hooves down for a moment and stares in direction of the noise
  1477. >"No way that's a trick or treater at this hour," Pinkie says
  1478. Oh! I can't believe I almost forgot the most important thing.
  1479. >You toss the 'baguette' over your shoulder and head to where you left the candy
  1480. >You take the bowl in your hands, turn around and then show it to everyone
  1481. >Fluttershy raises one eyebrow
  1482. >"The candy?"
  1483. >"The candy!" Pinkie says, like it's as obvious as anything
  1484. >"Give me some," Dash says
  1485. No, fuck you all. This candy is for two things only. It's for any trick or treaters who are cool enough to still be out, and it's also for whatever I deem necessary.
  1486. >You quickly eat a Reeses, which makes Dash grimace
  1487. >"Hey!"
  1488. That was necessary. Anyway, we're taking this with us.
  1489. >You just need something to hold it in, and that's when you spot Pinkie's burlap sack
  1490. >You empty the candy bowl into the sack
  1491. >Then you pull on the string around the opening of the sack, closing it tight
  1492. >Alright, who can you trust to hold this?
  1493. >Pinkie Pie?
  1494. >See she's drooling at the sight of the bag
  1495. >Nope
  1496. >Rainbow Dash?
  1497. >You take one look at her before deciding against it
  1498. >Dumb ass is still wearing those boxing gloves
  1499. >Fluttershy?
  1500. >Where is she?
  1501. >Oh, she's just about two inches away from your dick
  1502. >Of course
  1503. >You flick her on the nose, then plop the candy bag on top of her head
  1504. You're in charge of the candy bag, Fluttershy.
  1505. >"Oh," she says, taking the bag in her hoof and smiling
  1506. Don't make me regret it.
  1507. >"Don't worry, I won't take my eyes off your sack."
  1508. >You just roll your eyes and head over to the door
  1509. >And Fluttershy instantly gets mobbed by Pinkie and Dash
  1510. >Heh, well, that worked out
  1511. >Open the door
  1512. >It's the mom and those kids that you threw up on earlier
  1513. >And they're with two members of the Royal Guard
  1514. >None of them look happy
  1515. >Just then the mom points at you
  1516. >"That's him! He's the one who assaulted us."
  1517. >One of the kids immediately starts crying
  1518. >"He ruined my Nightmare Night, mommy!"
  1519. >Oh boy
  1520. >You take on an innocent look and place your hand over your heart
  1521. What? That's crazy. Do I look like the kind of guy who would do such a thing?
  1522. >The guards look past you
  1523. >They see a den of squalor, a 'baguette' on the floor, three mares all huddled together in the back, one of them with a huge welt on her forehead, another one covered in blood
  1524. >Then they see Princess Twilight, stuffed in a garbage bag, with a ball gag in her mouth, struggling to get out
  1525. >You smile innocently
  1526. >"Yeah, you're all going to need to come with us," the guard says
  1527.  
  1528. what do?
  1529. ********
  1530. Those guards probably shouldn't interrupt Twilight's royal orgy.
  1531.  
  1532. This. And the mom assaulted you first anyway, you were just having a grand 'ol time until she barged in your house and started being a massive party poop.
  1533.  
  1534. Exactly.
  1535. *********
  1536.  
  1537. >Well, you're boned
  1538. >You might be able to get away if you turn on your heel and make a mad dash for the backdoor
  1539. >Maybe toss Fluttershy over your shoulder and hope she crashes into them once they start chasing you
  1540. >If you're lucky you'll remember to grab the wagon first
  1541. >Twilight would make a great hostage
  1542. >Then again, being stuck in a room with Midnight for who knows how long would probably drive you to ram Twilight's horn into your frontal lobe
  1543. >"Please stand aside, sir," one of the guards says. "We must secure the safety of the princess."
  1544. >You're utterly frozen and can't think of anything to say
  1545. >Luckily, you weren't alone: you had Mike Tyson
  1546. >"But you can't take her right now," Rainbow Dash says, now hovering by your side
  1547. >"And just why is that?" the guard says sternly. "I understand you're her friends, but we have procedures that have to be followed up on in these cases."
  1548. >"Well, can't you forget about your procedures for today?" Pinkie says, jumping in. "You're supposed to pretend to be some pony else on Nightmare Night, anyways."
  1549. >"The reason we ask," Fluttershy says, as she crawls in between her friends, "is because Twilight isn't exactly feeling herself at the moment, and she needs our help immediately if we want to make her feel better."
  1550. >Both guards look incredulously from the wagon-bound Twilight to the four of you
  1551. >"But she's all tied up!" one says
  1552. >"That's cause, um, she's a danger to both herself and others, at the moment," Fluttershy says
  1553. >"Yeah!" Pinkie says. "She got possessed by this big scary demon named Midnight Sparkle, and we're just trying to make sure she doesn't try to drag any pony else to hell with her."
  1554. >Everyone on the other side bristles at this
  1555. >"What?!" the guards' cry
  1556. >Nice one, Ponk
  1557. >Soon one of the guards shakes himself free from any confusion
  1558. >"Look, none of this matters right now. We're here on official business."
  1559. >He gestures towards the mother, who is holding her chin up considerably, since hearing the word 'business'
  1560. >"This mare has filed a report saying that she and her children were assaulted on these premises, and her's helps support a number complaints we've received tonight, concerning both the noise and the safety of this residence."
  1561. >"Did you know that there are numerous bear traps on the path leading to your door?" the other guard asks you
  1562. Uh . . . What was the question?
  1563. >"I said--"
  1564. >"Make him turn that noise off," the mom says, her nose wrinkling in disgust
  1565. >Just then all your features harden in an instant
  1566. >Even your demon boner somehow gets harder
  1567. >Nobody--I repeat--nobody insults Metal Machine Music in your presence, on Halloween, and gets away with it
  1568. >You give the mom a Clint Eastwood-squinting stare, and then roll up your metaphorical sleeves
  1569. >The music changes
  1570. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGX6JRXpwrQ
  1571. >Huh, guess you must've taped over parts of this
  1572. >But still, you're ready to get yourself out of this
  1573. >Compared to some of things Fluttershy has put you through, this will be cake
  1574. >"Sir, we're going to need you to lower the volume on whatever it is you're playing," one guard says
  1575. I'm afraid that I cannot do that.
  1576. >The guards regard you for a moment, their brows knitting
  1577. >"Sir--"
  1578. I can't do that because it's not my music.
  1579. >"Isn't this your house?"
  1580. For the moment, it actually is not. The princess and I made a verbal agreement days before in which it was agreed that I would give her full use of my property to do as she pleases with.
  1581. >You turn and make a grand sweeping gesture, with your gloved hand, to the squalor, to the blood, to the bondage--to everything
  1582. This is simply the results of our agreement, with which I have found no reason to complain about thus far.
  1583. >"And what about the bear traps?" one guard asks
  1584. They're necessary to help keep the ever-growing population of rats down to a manageable level.
  1585. >A fat blood-soaked rat scampers across your feet before running over and squeezing itself under the couch
  1586. >The guards' eyes widen
  1587. >The mom shrieks
  1588. >Flutteshy coos
  1589. >"What a cutie."
  1590. >You start pacing, trying to keep your mouth running
  1591. Now as for the talk of possession, that's a very simple explanation. See, it's all simply a part of our role-playing.
  1592. >You stop with your back facing them all
  1593. Yes, the ropes, the squalor, the blood--it's simply all a part of our group's role-playing.
  1594. >You spin around on your heel
  1595. And I'm afraid that you're all interrupting us at the moment, much like she did.
  1596. >You point at the mom
  1597. >"What?!" she says, angrily folding her ears
  1598. See, she came in here unannounced and just started yelling at me about something or other. It was very upsetting.
  1599. >"Well, she says this all happened on your front step, not inside," one guard says
  1600. A complete lie. And I have four unbiased witnesses who can attest to that.
  1601. >The mom scoffs and shakes her head
  1602. >"I only saw the yellow mare, and he was screaming at her like a maniac," she says, flabbergasted
  1603. To be fair, Fluttershy is the real maniac.
  1604. >Fluttershy starts pouting
  1605. >"Wait," the guard says, turning to the mom, "you didn't include this mare in your report."
  1606. >She scrunches her muzzle
  1607. >"I didn't think it was necessary! He threw up blood on me and my children!"
  1608. That was simply a fear response that I have, and it's actually a perfectly natural human thing to do when startled.
  1609. >"And what about the other human who fell on top of us?!" the mom says
  1610. He was an uninvited guest. I've never seen him before tonight.
  1611. >"You said his name was Danny DeVito!"
  1612. I said he looked like Danny DeVito, but the man disagreed and called himself Frank Reynolds.
  1613. >"Where is this man now?" one guard asks
  1614. I think he said something about going under a bridge, but I didn't hear him properly.
  1615. >One guard shakes his head and then reaffirms his stern front
  1616. >"Look, nobody is in trouble yet, but we do need to all go back to headquarters so we can get all the sides of this story."
  1617. I really don't think that's necessary.
  1618. >"It is," he says. "Now, please free the princess so she can come with us."
  1619. >You lock your jaw, knowing that every part of your story is going to fall apart once he hears Demon Twilight start to go on about dicks
  1620. >Demon Twilight herself seems pretty excited at the turn of events
  1621. >Or she's at least still thrashing around
  1622. >"Is she all right?" the guard asks you
  1623. >Before you can think of anything to say, one of the kids starts whining about being tired
  1624. >The other guard leans down to the kid's eye level
  1625. >"If it makes you feel better, you'll all get to ride with Princess Luna back to Canterlot."
  1626. >"Sir, I asked if she's all right?" the guard watching you says
  1627. >Just then inspiration strikes you
  1628. >You act nonchalantly as you bend down on one knee next to the wagon
  1629. Oh, she's probably just upset that her orgy is finished.
  1630. >Following that, you can feel the cold silent second that strikes everyone in the room at the same time
  1631. >You cover your mouth with the tips of your fingers
  1632. Oops! I wasn't supposed to say that. Oh well.
  1633. >The guard stutters for a moment before asking you to repeat yourself
  1634. Well, this is kind of embarrassing, but I'm afraid that what you all see here, well, it's all a part of Twilight's scheduled Nightmare Night orgy.
  1635. >You look over your shoulder and see that the guards are sharing wary looks
  1636. >Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash just look confused
  1637. >The mom is trying to cover all her kids' ears
  1638. >You wiggle one of your ears towards Demon Twilight
  1639. Huh? What was that, Twily?
  1640. >You bend down and press your ear against the ball gag in Demon Twilight's mouth
  1641. >Pretend to listen for a little bit
  1642. Oh, I see.
  1643. >You rise and look at the guards
  1644. She says that Princess Luna was also originally supposed to have made it here. Would you two happen to know what's keeping her?
  1645. >One guard opens his mouth slightly, then closes it
  1646. >The other clears his throat
  1647. >"She, uh, did say something about wanting to meet with you all," he says
  1648. >"Yeah, she seemed pretty insistent about it, too," the other says while giving his buddy a fearful sideways glance
  1649. >Thinking on this, one guard swallows nervously while the other starts shaking all over inside his armor
  1650. >Looks like this kind of thing has happened to them before
  1651. >Granted the whole orgy thing was kind of a longshot
  1652. >But you knew that anybody whose job it was to spy on the dreams of others had to be a secret perv
  1653. >Then again, it seems like all the ponies you come across are horny little monsters anyway
  1654. So it sounds like she was indeed set on coming then. Well, what happened? Was she just too busy to make it?
  1655. >"We didn't know you were all here!" the guard says, before his buddy stuffs his hoof in his mouth
  1656. >"What he means is that we had been looking for you, per Princess Luna's wishes, while she partook in all the night's festivities."
  1657. Well, almost all of them.
  1658. >The guards' eyes shrink in their heads
  1659. >You turn your head and let out a short sigh
  1660. I guess if we're done here, I'll just untie Twilight so we can all go back to Canterlot.
  1661. >"No, don't!" the panicked guard says, ripping his friend's hoof out of his mouth
  1662. >The other guard, taking pains to act composed, says:
  1663. >"What he means is that, well, there's no need for you all to stop what you're doing."
  1664. >The mom's jaw drops
  1665. >"What?! Are you seriously--"
  1666. >The guard jams his hoof in her mouth, then smiles broadly at you as though to say that everything is fine
  1667. >"Look, we're sorry about this. We'll find the princess for you, wherever she is, and send her after you. Okay?"
  1668. >"Yeah, we can do that. Only please don't tell on us!"
  1669. >"Yeah, I don't want to be punished again! My wife still hasn't forgiven me for what happened last time."
  1670. >"Ex-wife," the other guard corrects
  1671. >You hum and pretend to consider it for a moment
  1672. >The clock reads ten-fifty-eight
  1673. >You're not sure if you actually have the time to wait and see if Princess Luna might be of any help
  1674. >But still, these guys seem like they're ready to do anything you want them to right now
  1675.  
  1676. what do?
  1677. ********
  1678. Go get Zecora for the orgy.
  1679. ********
  1680.  
  1681. >You cross your arms and sternly regard the two guards
  1682. Alright, here's what's going to happen. First, get rid of that mom and her kids.
  1683. >They both nod and say they'll do so right away
  1684. >The mom is about to complain, until the guards pull their lances out
  1685. >They begin descending on her
  1686. Uh, non-lethally, guys.
  1687. >They pause
  1688. >Then, in unison, they go: "Oh."
  1689. >This is enough to make the mom and her kids run away screaming, with the mom pushing herself ahead of all of them
  1690. >Huh, she's a mare after your own heart
  1691. >The guards look to you for approval
  1692. Good job, guys. We couldn't have an orgy with all those kids around.
  1693. >They both give you odd looks
  1694. Uh, I mean . . . at least not this time.
  1695. >"Oh, that's what you meant," one guard says, nodding his head
  1696. >"I actually prefer it when there aren't any children, too," the other agrees
  1697. >"Yeah, less crying that way."
  1698. >They both start chuckling and playfully hitting each other with their elbows
  1699. >You force a smile
  1700. Yeah, sure. Anyway, if you don't want us to tell on you, then you'll help us go get one more member for the orgy.
  1701. >"I was wondering why you kept calling it an orgy when there were only five of you," one guard says
  1702. >"That's actually called a quint-some," the other says
  1703. You two can have the honor of pulling the princess along behind us. And for God's sake, don't let her escape. She'll try, cause she's into that, but don't let her.
  1704. >They both salute you and then take their positions at each side of the wagon, one of them even going so far as to waggle his eyebrows seductively at Demon Twilight
  1705. Oh, and you guys will also have to flip the tape over to the other side whenever they run out.
  1706. Alright, let's head out.
  1707. >You take the lead out, followed by Fluttershy at your side, Ponk and Dash in the middle, and the two guards at the rear, with the wagon
  1708. >Fluttershy taps you on the thigh
  1709. >"Um, do you think it's such a good idea to bring those guards along?"
  1710. Fluttershy, we're going on a quest on Halloween. If one of us has to die, let it be the lesser players.
  1711. >"Oh . . . Should we at least go back and turn off your lights?"
  1712. >You look back at your house, with its front door wide open, and all the lights on
  1713. Nah, it looks spookier like that. Let's just keep going.
  1714. >"Yeah, it's not like we got a lot of time," Rainbow Dash says
  1715. Good point. So I should probably ask this before we go much further.
  1716. >You turn around and regard everyone
  1717. Where exactly does Rhymin' Simon live again?
  1718.  
  1719. *********
  1720. Tell the guards the orgy will be moving to Zecora's and to send Luna there. Proceed with the previous plan
  1721.  
  1722. We already loaded up the cart and everything
  1723.  
  1724. Flutterbutt should be able to get you to Zecora's place.
  1725. *********
  1726.  
  1727. >"In the Everfree Forest," Pinkie says
  1728. >Oh, alright, that's only--
  1729. >All the way on the other side of town!
  1730. >The music stops
  1731. Seriously?! We'll be lucky if we get there with more than ten minutes to spare!
  1732. >"Yeah, I know, that's why I've been trying to keep us moving," Dash says, rolling her eyes
  1733. >"It's not like there hasn't been a sense of urgency all this time," Pinkie says, shrugging
  1734. You know, you bastards all could've been a lot more specific.
  1735. >"I, um, thought you knew where she lived," Fluttershy says
  1736. Why would I know where someone I hate lives?
  1737. >You shake your head and try to stay focused
  1738. Man, fuck this. We've got to keep moving. And where are the tunes?!
  1739. >You turn over to the guards
  1740. Bitches, turn the tape over!
  1741. >They jump and then immediately start fumbling with your Walkman
  1742. >Hear them hit play
  1743. >. . .
  1744. >Nothing
  1745. >Sigh deeply
  1746. >"Uh, it ain't working," one of them says
  1747. I can hear that. Is it in backwards?
  1748. >". . . I don't know."
  1749. >You facepalm
  1750. >"Don't worry, we've got this!"
  1751. >You're worried
  1752. >Turn around
  1753. >See one of the guards is actually taking the batteries out of your Walkman
  1754. >The other has his lips puckered, and his face is bent down by Demon Twilight's
  1755. >Yeah, Fluttershy might've been right about these guys
  1756. Flutters, I'm going to have to go back there. Have some candy ready for when I get back.
  1757. >And soon enough . . .
  1758. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43fsO2q_Hw4
  1759. >Everyone covers their ears again
  1760. >You sigh in contentment
  1761. Much more relaxing than the still of the night. Flutters, candy me!
  1762. >She doesn't respond
  1763. >See she's seizuring again
  1764. >Shrug and pick up the sack yourself
  1765. Alright, everyone, onward and yonward!
  1766. >Everyone groans and follows you forward, with Dash struggling to pick up Fluttershy along the way
  1767. >Eventually you leave the outskirts where you live and enter into the heart of town
  1768. >The streets are silent and the windows of every house are dark and sleepy
  1769. >All the colorful decorations that are out, all the grotesque smiles of the skulls and Jack o Lanterns, have been shaded grey by the cold night
  1770. >The wind blows between the dead alleys, picking up the brittle fall leaves in their breezes and pushing them against the ground, scratching up the dirt
  1771. >In other words, it's actually spooky out
  1772. >Fluttershy is actually looking all around, her body shaking all over
  1773. >You tap the back of her ear, making her jump
  1774. Isn't this great? Don't you wish Halloween was always like this?
  1775. >"I'm g-g-glad that y-you like it, I suppose. . . ."
  1776. I just wish the trick or treaters were still out. But that's just not how it works, though.
  1777. >You cross the bridge and arrive at town hall
  1778. >On the wood stage, built off the deck, where the mayor gives speeches, you see a row of lighted faces
  1779. >They're Jack o Lanterns, and all of them have unique, professional-looking designs carved into them
  1780. >Some of them are the faces of ponies you recognize, some of them are picturesque scenes you'd normally find on canvases, some of them are just fucking terrible
  1781. >Seriously, some of these Jack o Lanterns look like they have downs
  1782. >A closer look finds that all of them have some kind of ribbon attached to them
  1783. >One of the downs-looking Jack o Lanterns has a ribbon that says 'Participation' on it
  1784. >The guards stand at each of your shoulders and breath down your neck while looking at it
  1785. >"Woah! This one's weird looking."
  1786. >"Kinda looks like your ex."
  1787. >". . . It does."
  1788. >Aren't these idiots supposed to be watching Demon Twilight?
  1789. >You roll your eyes and push them out of the way
  1790. >Luckily, Demon Twilight hasn't gone anywhere
  1791. >In fact she's been staring at the same Jack o Lanterns you've all been looking at
  1792. >Her eyes are so focused on them that you can see the little flames from inside the pumpkins' mouths dancing within her dark pupils
  1793. >"It's nice," Fluttershy says, "but I still think our pumpkin would have won first place if we had found the time to enter it."
  1794. >You turn and see Fluttershy and Pinkie admiring a pumpkin, carved to depict the mayor's face
  1795. >"I guess there's always next year," Pinkie says, shrugging
  1796. >"You guys were going to enter the mayor's pumpkin carving contest?" Rainbow Dash says, coming over
  1797. >"We sure were," Pinkie says. "The last few we made would've won for sure."
  1798. >Wait, so that's what all those Jack o Lanterns Pinkie was making were for!
  1799. >And she was going to enter those in a contest!
  1800. >Just then they all notice you watching them
  1801. >Fluttershy folds her ears
  1802. >Pinkie just smiles shrewdly
  1803. >"I'll tell you more about it later, Dashie."
  1804. >Fucking ponies
  1805. >Eventually you all gather around the town hall bulletin board
  1806. >Pinkie reads off the names of the various holiday events that have taken place tonight
  1807. >"There's a dance at the community center. Oh, the schoolhouse is having a carnival. 'Come and see The Scarecrow Filles!' That sounds fun."
  1808. >"Um, I don't mean to interrupt," Fluttershy says, "but should we be concerned about this poster that says 'escaped convict'?"
  1809. >Pictured on said poster is an enormous bear of a Changeling, with a jagged horn that's as long as your arm
  1810. >'Wanted' it reads, 'as a suspect in the disappearances of five young mares, and for beating to death a substantial number of Manticores in a time when they were not in season.'
  1811. >"Huh, guess I missed that one," Pinkie says
  1812. >"Says here that we should be keeping an eye out for him here in town," Rainbow Dash says
  1813. So there's a murderer running around right now?
  1814. >The guards both start to snicker but stop themselves
  1815. >"Oh, it's just, he did way more than just murder those girls."
  1816. >"Yeah, the posters of him in Canterlot go into a lot more detail."
  1817. >"It's also in color."
  1818. >"Really kinda painterly. I like looking at it when I'm on patrol."
  1819. >"Yeah, it really helps cheer you up when the weather starts to get cloudy like it is."
  1820. >You look closer at the bottom of the poster
  1821. >It actually looks like there was more written down but it got ripped by someone towards the bottom
  1822. >Also, this Changeling dude has some fucked up teeth
  1823. >He's only got two of his top fangs left, both of them on the left side--and even those are way too yellow and green to be healthy
  1824. >They look like those two ears of corn that you lose sometime during the Superbowl barbecue and eventually find weeks later under the couch, when they're already all covered in mold
  1825. Is there anything in that Canterlot poster that says why this guy never seems to have been to a dentist in his life?
  1826. >"Nope," Pinkie says. "But it says here that Applejack's corn maze is going until midnight. Oh, wait, in parenthesis it also says 'only if Granny is still awake'. But look, Trixie's Death-Defying Marvels of Magical Mystery show is going all night."
  1827. >One of the guards groans
  1828. >"It's impossible. Princess Luna could be at any one of these events."
  1829. >"Uh, most of these have got to be over by now," Rainbow Dash says
  1830. >"Then she could be anywhere!"
  1831. >"Well if she's at any of those fun events," Pinkie says, "then we'll find her by going down either one of these roads."
  1832. >She points ahead towards two different roads
  1833. >One is straight and goes deeper into town
  1834. >That'd take you by the community center and the schoolhouse
  1835. >The other road has a bend in it, and it takes you along a path that's just outside of town
  1836. >You'll have to go through Sweet Apple Acres this way, and you'll probably see Trixie's show
  1837. >"They'll both take us to the Everfree Forest, too."
  1838. Alright then, this is simple. Me, Fluttershy, Pinkie and Dash will go one way.
  1839. >Before you can finish, the guards both gasp and fold their ears
  1840. >"You're splitting us up?" one says
  1841. What? No, I'm just sending you away from us.
  1842. >"But I thought you wanted us to help you," the other guard says
  1843. And I've changed my mind about that very quickly, mostly because you've both only disappointed me with your performances so far.
  1844. >"But, um, you should be glad that you ever tried at all," Fluttershy says
  1845. >She brushes herself up against your leg and looks up at you
  1846. >"After all, it takes a special kind of pony to be able to please my man. Doesn't it, hubby?"
  1847. Don't touch me, Fluttershy.
  1848. >"O-Okay . . ." she says, slinking away
  1849. >The guards' lower lips are trembling
  1850. >You resist the urge to glare at them, if only because you're sure that it'll make them cry
  1851. Look, we're both going to be meeting at Rhymin' Simon's anyway, so it's not like I'm getting rid of you guys for all that long.
  1852. >The guards look at each other for a moment
  1853. >Then they both sigh and halfheartedly agree with you
  1854. >". . . Yeah, I guess," one of them says
  1855. Good.
  1856. >You turn and regard the two paths before you
  1857. I'm going to call these 'the country path' and 'the city path', respectively.
  1858. >Now, which path should you take?
  1859.  
  1860. what do?
  1861. ********
  1862. Take the city path. That way you can avoid the maze and Trixie's show altogether. And if you run into the murdering changeling, just chainsaw it into submission.
  1863.  
  1864. Well if AJ's still up she might be able to help out, the country path doesn't' seem all bad.
  1865. ********
  1866.  
  1867. I think we should go--
  1868. >Dash jumps in front of you
  1869. >"We should go further into town, since it's faster!"
  1870. >You push her out of the way
  1871. It's called 'the city path', you idiot.
  1872. >"Who even cares?"
  1873. Also, I'm the one who decides. And I say--
  1874. >"I think we should go the other way," Pinkie says while raising her hoof
  1875. >And while jumping on top of your back for a ride
  1876. Ah! Get off!
  1877. >Try to shake her off but she holds on tight, giggling all the while
  1878. >Hear Fluttershy sigh
  1879. >"You really need to teach me how to do that sometime, Pinkie," Fluttershy says
  1880. >Stupid banana horse
  1881. >Can't she just fly?
  1882. >Oh God, do not put those kind of ideas in her head
  1883. >You pick Pinkie up by the scruff of her neck and hold her out in front of you
  1884. Did you not hear me? I'm deciding.
  1885. >"But I think it's a good idea to go my way. We can get Applejack to help us."
  1886. So? It's not like we need any apples.
  1887. >"But apples go great with candy! Hello, caramel apples?"
  1888. Be quiet. I'm deciding.
  1889. >"Besides, Pinkie, it'll take too long," Rainbow Dash says
  1890. >"No it won't," Pinkie says
  1891. >She tries to turn around to look at Dash but you hold her
  1892. Look, it doesn't matter. I'm--AH!!
  1893. >Pinkie uses the tip of her hoof to poke you beneath your armpit, right where you're ticklish
  1894. >You drop her immediately
  1895. >"I gotta remember that one," Fluttershy mumbles to herself
  1896. >Goddammit
  1897. >Then Pinkie immediately turns towards Rainbow Dash and says:
  1898. >"Dashie, I have a feeling that we'll find Princess Luna if we go my way."
  1899. >"But we're trying to save Twilight here, not Princess Luna!" Rainbow Dash screams
  1900. >"It'll be easier to do that if more of our friends are with us."
  1901. >"It would be easier to do this if you weren't with us!"
  1902. >Pinkie knits her brow
  1903. >"Well maybe you're right after all, Rainbow Dash. And maybe it would be easier if you weren't with us!"
  1904. >"What?!" Dash says, her eyes popping wide open
  1905. >After this they get in each other's faces and start butting heads, both of them glaring at each other
  1906. >One guard raises his hoof
  1907. >"Uh, guys, aren't we going to be late for the orgy?"
  1908. >Hate to say this, but he has a point
  1909. >You turn over to Fluttershy
  1910. Aren't you going to step in and stop them?
  1911. >She doesn't answer you
  1912. >Look down and see that she somehow managed to slip your demon boner out from your zipper
  1913. >You catch her with her open mouth an inch away from the head; she's actually breathing on it
  1914. Hey!
  1915. >She freezes while looking up at you
  1916. >Then she smiles nervously
  1917. >"I was just . . . Oh, these aren't my glasses--this is your cock! My mistake."
  1918. >She forces a short laugh before tucking your demon boner safely back in your pants
  1919. >You keep glaring at her until she lowers herself down by your feet
  1920. >"I'm sorry," she says, covering her head with her arms. "Please don't be mad."
  1921. >You let her lie there and shake in fear
  1922. >Rainbow Dash and Pinkie now seem to be making out--
  1923. >Wait, WHAT?!
  1924. >They part from their passionate kiss and look into each other's eyes
  1925. >"Gosh, you're so hot when you get all steamed up, Dashie," Pinkie says
  1926. >"I can't help it," Dash says. "Seeing those cute little pink cheeks of yours when they light up, it just does things to me."
  1927. >They both giggle and then go back in for a second helping of each other's tongue
  1928. >Well . . . that's new
  1929. >The other guard sees all this and raises his hoof
  1930. >"Can we just have the orgy here?"
  1931. >And they're still dumb
  1932. >At least that hasn't changed
  1933. >Unfortunately
  1934. No. I'm still choosing the way. And I choose . . .
  1935.  
  1936. ********
  1937. city path is probably the best choice
  1938.  
  1939. Apples
  1940. Apple Path
  1941.  
  1942. City path sounds great, if only to avoid having to listen to Trixie
  1943. ********
  1944.  
  1945. We're going down 'the city path'.
  1946. >It's silent for a moment
  1947. >Rainbow Dash and Pinkie are still making out
  1948. >Fluttershy is still trembling on top of your shoes
  1949. >No one moves
  1950. >You look to the guards
  1951. Hear that? You fags can take 'the country path'.
  1952. >They both shrug
  1953. >"Okay," one of them says
  1954. >Yeah, that's right 'okay'
  1955. >They better not try to start shit with you
  1956. >"We'll meet you at Rhymin' Simon's later for the orgy," the other says
  1957. >Eh, it sounds weird when he calls her that
  1958. Actually, her name is Zecora.
  1959. >"Oh, okay."
  1960. >"Well, we'll see ya."
  1961. >"Yeah, take care, and try not to blow your load too early."
  1962. >They both start down their path
  1963. >But you realize something
  1964. >With a heavy sigh, you call them back
  1965. Uh . . . guys.
  1966. >They turn around
  1967. >"Yeah?" one of them says
  1968. I'm gonna need you to give back Twilight.
  1969. >They both blink, then look down at the wagon they were still pulling along
  1970. >"Oh . . . right."
  1971. >They let her go and then keep on going
  1972. >Hear one of them muttering about how it wasn't fair that you got to travel with all the girls
  1973. >He probably isn't even aware that, when it comes to these girls, he just described your personal hell
  1974. >You watch the guards fondly until they disappear around the bend
  1975. Yeah . . . they're both gonna die tonight for sure.
  1976. >You kick Fluttershy to the side, then go and pick up the handle of the wagon
  1977. >Demon Twilight is surprisingly still right now, but she'll probably start being difficult again soon enough
  1978. >You jerk the wagon forward
  1979. Alright, let's go, you little dick machine.
  1980. >Start pulling her back to the others, who are all still distracted in their ways
  1981. >You stand over Fluttershy, who's still trembling
  1982. >Fake a gasp
  1983. Oh no, my cock fell out!
  1984. >She looks up, and is immediately disappointed
  1985. Come on, you little dick machine, we're leaving.
  1986. >She gives you her hoof and you help her up
  1987. >Now you just have to stop the gay that's going on between Pinkie and Dash
  1988. >You find that, to your surprise, they're both already up, separated, and ready to receive orders
  1989. >They've even wiped their mouths of each other's spit and fixed up their manes so there's not a hair out of place
  1990. >"So which way should we go?" Pinkie asks you
  1991. >"Yeah, hurry up and decide already," Rainbow Dash says
  1992. >Yeah, they're just going to act like nothing's happened
  1993. >And you know better than to call them out for it
  1994. >You look directly at Ponk and say that they're all taking 'the city path'
  1995. >She smiles and starts jumping in place
  1996. >"That's great!" she says. "I love the city!"
  1997. Sure you do.
  1998. >You roll your eyes and Ponk and Dash trot ahead of you
  1999. >Even Fluttershy takes up the initiative faster than you
  2000. >"Hurry up," she says, looking over her shoulder at you
  2001. >You purse your lips and watch as she gets far ahead of you
  2002. >Sigh heavily
  2003. Don't tell me to hurry up, you stupid summer squash horse.
  2004. >Pick up the wagon handle and start trudging along behind them
  2005. >They occasionally turn around, calling out to you to hurry up
  2006. >And you probably should, but you're in too bad a mood to oblige them
  2007. >As the moon rises it keeps getting harder to see them
  2008. >Their bodies are silhouettes and their features are only faintly visible impressions, as though they're masked in nylon
  2009. >You wonder what time it is
  2010. >Flashlights and a wristwatch, those would've been nice right now
  2011. >Maybe you should take some of the candles out from the Jack o Lanterns
  2012. >You stop in the middle of the street and look back to see how far away they are
  2013. >There's only one problem: None of the Jack o Lanterns are there anymore
  2014. >You rub your eyes and then look closer
  2015. >At least, you can't see them like you could
  2016. >But you should be able to see their tiny lights from where you are
  2017. >So did something happen to them?
  2018. >Did someone move them?
  2019. >Then something touches your thigh
  2020. >You jump before realizing that, of course, it's Fluttershy
  2021. >She flinches, then brings her hoof up to her mouth in concern
  2022. >"Oh goodness. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."
  2023. Nah, that's good. Gets me in the spooky spirit.
  2024. >"Well, um, you should probably come up and join us. Rainbow Dash found a shortcut."
  2025. >Huh, already?
  2026. >Wait, what about the Jack o Lanterns?
  2027. >You look again
  2028. >End up doing a double take when you see that the little lights are all back
  2029. >Like they never left at all
  2030. How the hell . . . ?
  2031. >She touches your thigh again
  2032. >"Are you okay? You look nervous."
  2033. >Something weird is going on over there
  2034. >"Hey slowpokes, we haven't got all Nightmare Night here!" you hear Dash yell from up the street behind you
  2035. >"Yeah, come on!" Pinkie shouts. "And make sure to bring the candy!"
  2036. >"Are you sure you're all right?" Fluttershy asks
  2037. >She looks back in direction of town hall and, with a tremor in her voice, asks if you see something over there
  2038.  
  2039. what do?
  2040. ********
  2041. Stop being a pussy and follow Dash down the shortcut. You have the Metal Machine and a chainsaw and at least two of you know how to use it
  2042.  
  2043. This.
  2044. ********
  2045.  
  2046. >You look down at Fluttershy's pathetic spooked self
  2047. >Man, you can't start acting all scared now
  2048. >You want to end up like her?
  2049. It's nothing, you big baby. Come on, let's go.
  2050. >"Oh . . . okay."
  2051. >You start heading up the street
  2052. >"I was only scared because you were."
  2053. Wasn't actually spooked, though.
  2054. >"You looked like you were."
  2055. S-Shut up.
  2056. >The two of you keep going
  2057. >Up ahead you can see Dash and Pinkie are at the end of the street
  2058. >Both are standing before a big black gate, which is the only entrance to the large fenced-off space ahead
  2059. So what'd they find?
  2060. >"Well actually, the reason I came back is because I'm not so sure about Rainbow Dash's shortcut."
  2061. You know we're trying to save Twilight's soul here, and before midnight.
  2062. >"I know. But, it's just . . ."
  2063. >She points up at the sign over the gate
  2064. >'Memorial Pastures of Ponyville Cemetery'
  2065. >Oh . . .
  2066. >"Yeah, this way, we don't have to go all the way around," Dash says. "This'll take us right to the schoolhouse."
  2067. >"B-But we don't know what's in there," Fluttershy says
  2068. Cutting through a cemetery on Halloween.
  2069. >You nod to yourself
  2070. Bad ass. Let's do it.
  2071. >"All right!"
  2072. >"Oh no!"
  2073. >"Did you bring the candy?"
  2074. >"Holy shit balls! It's a rabbit!"
  2075. >Okay, that wasn't anyone in your annoying group
  2076. >Look up the street to your right
  2077. >See someone swaying around at the end of it, slowly trying to stumble your way
  2078. >"You want to go over my bridge, you gotta pay the troll toll!"
  2079. >Oh . . . it's Danny again
  2080. >And he's in his underwear
  2081. >He's not going to become a regular thing from now on, right?
  2082. >"I'm going to get you, wabbit!"
  2083. >Rainbow Dash squints her eyes and looks closely his way
  2084. >"Is that another human . . . ?"
  2085. >"Oh, yeah, I've seen him before," Fluttershy says, sighing
  2086. >"Wowie!" Pinkie says. "Guys, we've gotta go say hi."
  2087. Pinkie, wait.
  2088. >But she starts running up the street to meet him
  2089. >"Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie, and I've gotta throw you a party!"
  2090. >Frank jerks his head up
  2091. >His slobbery jaw falls open when he sees this pink pony trotting right at him
  2092. >"Oh shit! Another one!"
  2093. >He reaches into the front of his underwear
  2094. >Heh, guess she's going to be the one getting an egg this time
  2095. >Frank pulls out his pistol
  2096. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKFIDLMliHo
  2097. >Oh fuck
  2098. >He pulls the hammer back and points it right at Pinkie
  2099. >"You ain't gettin' my soul, wabbit!"
  2100. Pinkie! Get back here now!
  2101. >"Huh, why?"
  2102. >He fires a shot
  2103. >It hits the ground right before Pinkie's hooves
  2104. >Thank God he couldn't keep his arm straight
  2105. >All of Pinkie's mane stands on end as the shot echoes through the streets
  2106. >She screams and trots back towards you all
  2107. >"What was that?!"
  2108. It's his pistol. I forgot that he's always got that thing.
  2109. >Frank burps then starts stumbling towards you all
  2110. >"I may be tripping balls, but that don't mean I can't shoot the shit out of you guys for messing with me!"
  2111. >He fires another crooked shot
  2112. >It ricochets off the wall five feet in front of you
  2113. >Hear the bullet whiz past your ear
  2114. >Your heart seizes and you freeze up
  2115. >Fuck, okay, don't go into shock
  2116. >Escape, gotta escape
  2117. We're going through the cemetery!
  2118. >"We can't!" Dash says
  2119. >Great
  2120. Why not?
  2121. >"I can't open the door!"
  2122. >See Dash is struggling with the door, with her boxing gloves on
  2123. >Please God, kill her first
  2124. Dash, take your fucking boxing gloves off!
  2125. >"It's locked, stupid!"
  2126. >She shows you the apple-sized padlock that's keeping the door shut
  2127. >There's another shot
  2128. >It whizzes right through Fluttershy's mane, cutting some of it off
  2129. >She blinks, then jumps into your arms and starts screaming
  2130. >Frank, now about ten feet away, straightens up and points his gun right at you
  2131. >"I'll teach you to skip out on emptyin' the chamber pot, Charlie!"
  2132. >Man, why couldn't you be Dennis?!
  2133.  
  2134. what do?
  2135. ********
  2136. Chainsaw the door down.
  2137.  
  2138. This. Chainsaw that lock off and charge through the gate. If need be, chuck Fluttershy at Danny too distract him before he can get a good shot off.
  2139.  
  2140. Danny is drunk, just tell him there's a giant buff changeling with crappy teeth behind him!
  2141. ********
  2142.  
  2143. >A distraction is needed
  2144. >You point behind Danny
  2145. Holy shit! There's a huge black dude with no teeth behind you!
  2146. >His eyes go wide
  2147. >"Duncan, why are you out from under the bridge?!" he says, turning around
  2148. >While he's distracted, you lift Fluttershy up over your head
  2149. >She tenses up, knowing what's coming
  2150. Fluttershy, it's time for you to be useful again!
  2151. >"Oh, not again!"
  2152. Fly, bitch!
  2153. >Toss her at Danny
  2154. >She ends up wrapped around his head, screaming and holding on for dear life as he thrashes around
  2155. >Then Pinkie jumps up onto his back
  2156. >"Woohoo! Two piggy back rides in one night!"
  2157. >"P-Pinkie, stop it, y-you're pushing me off!"
  2158. >"Get off of me! I can't get aids this way!" Danny screams
  2159. >While they keep him distracted, you grab the chainsaw out from the wagon
  2160. >"What are you doing?" Dash says
  2161. Dash, hold the gate still while I chainsaw it down.
  2162. >"Uh, I don't think that--"
  2163. Just do it!
  2164. >"Fine! Jeez!"
  2165. >You pull the rip cord and start up the chainsaw, revving it a few times
  2166. >Dash, meanwhile, flies up to the top of the gate and holds the door steady
  2167. >"Look, just be careful not to hit me, okay?"
  2168. >You bring the blade down on top of the padlock bolt
  2169. >Sparks fly up and hit Dash between the legs
  2170. >""AH!! What did I just tell you?!"
  2171. It sounded like 'blah blah I'm a big pussy' to me!
  2172. >"Speaking of, you're scorching mine right now, dude!"
  2173. >You flinch from the sparks and turn your head away
  2174. Sorry, Dash, but I'm not stopping until--
  2175. >There's a sound of metal snapping and you feel the chainsaw jerk forward
  2176. >You did it!
  2177. >Lift your eyes up
  2178. >See the chain has snapped off
  2179. >And it's whipping back
  2180. >Right towards your face
  2181. >Feel a slight breeze as the chain shaves off your right eyelashes
  2182. >Then it flops down and dangles from the naked bar
  2183. >You blink twice, then quickly check to make sure you didn't just get yourself into a Big Boss situation
  2184. >Your eye is fine
  2185. >Sigh in relief
  2186. >Then another shot goes off, and the chainsaw flies out from your hand
  2187. >"I ain't missing my luau because of you, Charlie!"
  2188. >The girls are still pulling down on Danny, and Fluttershy is still covering his face, but he's got his pistol pointed your way again anyway
  2189. >You start up a little dance, trying to stay out of the way of Danny's unsteady aim
  2190. Fluttershy, you're supposed to be keeping him from shooting me!
  2191. >"I'm trying! He's drooling on me!"
  2192. >"And you owe me a new chainsaw!" Pinkie says, her head popping up over Danny's shoulder
  2193. You needed a new one. That one couldn't even cut through the lock.
  2194. >She scoffs
  2195. >"It's not supposed to. I was using it to carve pumpkins, remember?"
  2196. Well if a chainsaw can't solve all your problems, then it isn't a very good chainsaw, is it?
  2197. >You stomp over and pick up the chainsaw again
  2198. >Some kind of fluid, thick with fumes, drips down onto your pants
  2199. >See there's a big bullet hole in the chassis
  2200. Whatever. I'm still chainsawing this door down.
  2201. >"Isn't it a gate?" Dash says
  2202. Whatever!
  2203. >You pull the cord
  2204. >The starter makes a brief clicking noise and then stops
  2205. >Keep pulling the cord until you're red in the face and there's a knot beneath your right shoulder
  2206. >It's still broken
  2207. >Your anger builds up until you're ready to explode
  2208. That's it!
  2209. >Turn towards the door
  2210. >Lift the chainsaw up over your head
  2211. Chainsaw. Door. Down. NOW!!!
  2212. >You throw the chainsaw
  2213. >It smacks against the bars and makes the gate clatter a bit
  2214. >Then the top left hinge squeaks with rust and breaks suddenly
  2215. >One of the doors falls down slightly
  2216. >The weight from the door leaning down bends the other top hinge until it also breaks
  2217. >Both doors fall slightly forward and come to rest at an angle
  2218. >The weight bears down on the bottom hinges until they also squeak and break
  2219. >You jump back just as the gate comes crashing down before your toes
  2220. >A mist of dust floats up to your eyes in a cloud before diffusing into the air
  2221. >Then everything settles
  2222. >No one says anything
  2223. >Then Pinkie gives a short hum of affirmation, right next to you
  2224. >You jump when you see she and Fluttershy are standing by you
  2225. >"Guess my chainsaw is better than you thought, huh?" Pinkie says, nudging your leg with her elbow
  2226. Wait, what happened to Danny?
  2227. >"He fell asleep," Pinkie says, pointing off to the side
  2228. >See he's passed out, face down in the dirt and snoring
  2229. Huh . . . ?
  2230. >"Oh, and I found my glasses," Fluttershy says as she adjusts Danny's glasses so they sit straight on top of her muzzle
  2231. You . . . just straight up stole those.
  2232. >"I can always give them back later."
  2233. Either way, bad ass.
  2234. >"Thank you," she says, blushing. "So now can I see y-your d-d-d-d--"
  2235. >"We also snagged this bad boy!" Pinkie says, reaching into her mane
  2236. >She pulls out the pistol, and ends up inadvertently aiming it right at your face
  2237. >Hear the hammer click forward
  2238. >You blink slowly, still staring down the barrel
  2239. You almost just killed me right there, Pinkie.
  2240. >"Whoops! I didn't mean to do that," Pinkie says, closely scrutinizing her new toy
  2241. >Snatch it our from her hooves
  2242. Yeah, I better hold on to this.
  2243. >"Okay. I'll go take a look at my saw you broke."
  2244. You'll have to do that while we're on the move.
  2245. >"Now you're talking," Dash says. "I already got everything packed again."
  2246. >You see something over by Frank
  2247. >Go over and pick it up, braving both the foul stench of booze and the stale odor of balls that surrounds him
  2248. >It's a full magazine
  2249. >Full of candy corn
  2250. >You load it into the pistol anyway
  2251. >Then you go and take up the wagon with your other hand
  2252. >For some reason, Fluttershy put the glasses on Demon Twilight
  2253. >They kind of look good on her
  2254. >You and your party head starting heading down the dirt road that leads into the cemetery
  2255. >You're soon surrounded by the cold lawns where the dead rest beneath dirty tombstones, eroded mausoleums, solemn grey statues, and plaques that lay covered by overgrown weeds
  2256. >The wind whistles through the bare branches of dead winter trees that are alive only by the cawing crows that sit there and fluff their bodies up for warmth
  2257. >Occasionally the wagon's wheels will squeak, and you'll hear the tinkering sounds that come from Pinkie's chainsaw repairing
  2258. >But there's certainly no talk
  2259. >Somewhere in the distance you can hear some sprinklers running in their back and forth rhythm
  2260. >They match your footsteps sometimes
  2261. >Just then you hear Pinkie trot up to your side
  2262. >"Oh, sprinklers! You think we have time to run through those?"
  2263. Probably not. How's it going otherwise?
  2264. >"Bad news. I don't think the chainsaw is going to work anymore, at least not all the time."
  2265. So is it broken or not?
  2266. >She shrugs
  2267. >"You can try to start it, but there's not guarantee it'll work. At least I got the chain back on. . . ."
  2268. >She smiles really hard after saying this, as though to cheer you up
  2269. >You just purse your lips
  2270. I really liked that chainsaw.
  2271. >"Hey, I got the chain back on. Do you know how hard that it is to do without any tools?"
  2272. >You don't really care but you let her have a Kit Kat anyway, if only to keep her from any grousing
  2273. >Eventually your path comes to an end
  2274. >The road splits off to the left and right
  2275. >You're faced with going through one of the graveyards, and walking among the graves, if you want to keep going straight
  2276. >"We should just keep going forward," Dash says. "It's the fastest way out of here."
  2277. >"If we do that, then we better make sure to leave some candy behind," Pinkie says
  2278. We're not wasting any of my candy.
  2279. >"But it's bad luck to go through a graveyard without leaving anything on a grave."
  2280. I've honestly never heard of that before.
  2281. >But this night has been full of bad luck so far
  2282. >And Pinkie doesn't seem like the type that would part with candy unless she had a good reason
  2283. >Fluttershy has been oddly quiet, given the circumstance
  2284. >Look and see that she's about five feet away
  2285. >There's a crow that's sitting on top of a tombstone, cawing at her
  2286. >She's nodding her head slowly and saying things like "Oh" and "Oh dear"
  2287. >Roll your eyes
  2288. >Why do you even pay any attention to her again?
  2289. >She eventually comes back
  2290. >"Um, I think I should say something."
  2291. >You're about to tell her to shut up when Dash asks her to keep going
  2292. >"Well, I was just having a chat with Corvus over there," she says, tilting her head back towards the crow
  2293. >She pauses and starts biting her lip nervously
  2294. Fluttershy, hurry up.
  2295. >"He says--"she gulps"--he says there's a white stallion wearing gold that's lying on the ground over there."
  2296. >She points in a direction that's slightly in between the right path and the graveyard that you were going to go through
  2297. >You can't see anyone from where you are, though
  2298. >Dash flies up and looks out in that direction
  2299. >"I can't see anything!" she calls out from the sky
  2300. >She comes down shortly after
  2301. >"Just what do you mean by lying on the ground?" Pinkie asks, a grim look on her face
  2302. >Fluttershy sighs
  2303. >"I mean he's . . . not alive."
  2304. >Her and Pinkie both fold their ears and shiver
  2305. Well, a white stallion wearing gold, that sounds like it could be one of our guys.
  2306. >Man, you didn't think they would get killed that fast
  2307. >"That's not all," Fluttershy says. "He also said that he was--um, I'm sorry--that he was not still in one piece."
  2308. >"W-What do you mean by not still in one piece?" Pinkie says
  2309. It means someone tore him all up.
  2310. >"Woah!" Dash says, her eyes widening
  2311. >Fluttershy swallows a lump in her throat
  2312. >Pinkie, now trembling all over, grabs Fluttershy and holds her close
  2313. Alright, so there's a dead body in the cemetery, and it's been mutilated--and we might know him.
  2314. >They all nod slowly, a bit wary of where you're going with this
  2315. That totally sounds like something that we should . . .
  2316.  
  2317. what do?
  2318. ********
  2319. Straight path. The quicker you get the fuck out of that graveyard the quicker you avoid whatever fucked up the guard.
  2320. ********
  2321.  
  2322. Yeah, fuck that. We should get the hell out of here.
  2323. >All three of them breath a sigh of relief
  2324. >Like, man, you're not crazy
  2325. >That serial killer dude probably killed him
  2326. >Really hope this pistol of Frank's can shoot candy corn like they're bullets
  2327. >Fluttershy turns to the crow after it caws
  2328. >"Um, you don't have to take us. But thank you for warning us."
  2329. We're leaving without you, Fluttershy.
  2330. >She looks and sees that you and the others have already entered the graveyard
  2331. >"Oh, um, right? Huh?"
  2332. >She turns to the crow again as it starts cawing
  2333. >Eventually she comes back
  2334. >"Corvus says wishes us safe travels on our journey."
  2335. Yeah, that's great.
  2336. >"He, um, also said that we should be careful of the giant tree that dropped off the stallion."
  2337. >Oh boy
  2338. Yeah, we should walk and talk while you tell us just what the hell that is.
  2339. >"I'm not sure. But he said that it was a large tree, made up of vines, and with a big orange fruit for a head. Oh, and it was glowing."
  2340. >"It sounds like a monster," Pinkie says
  2341. >"I think we can take it," Dash says
  2342. >"I think we better leave some candy behind, just in case it gets hungry and starts looking for food," Pinkie says
  2343. Pinkie--
  2344. >"I don't want to be the food!"
  2345. >She wrestles the candy bag away from Fluttershy and starts leaving behind a trail of Tootsie Rolls
  2346. You know, you're pretty much leading it right to us by doing that.
  2347. >"He'll be so full by then that he won't want to eat us."
  2348. Whatever. Just don't give him anything but Tootsie Rolls.
  2349. >"Where do you think the monster could've come from?" Fluttershy says
  2350. >"Probably the Everfree," Rainbow Dash says
  2351. Yeah, or maybe from closer than we think.
  2352. >You point over your shoulder, with your thumb, back at Demon Twilight
  2353. Thing is, back at town hall, I thought I saw those Jack o Lanterns moving on their own. And dick loving over here was staring at them pretty intensely the whole time we were there.
  2354. >"But she's been so weak all this time," Dash says
  2355. >"And Corvus didn't say anything at all relating to dicks," Fluttershy says. "Though he did say that he found the stallion, um, tasty?"
  2356. Yeah, well, I'm starting to think that maybe bringing a demon named Midnight Sparkle outside, when it's almost midnight out, might not have been a really good idea.
  2357. >Everyone is quiet for a moment
  2358. >"What do you mean?" Fluttershy asks
  2359. >Demon Twilight's eyes turn bright white
  2360. >"Fools!"
  2361. >A bright shaft of light shoots out from her eyes, breaking the glass in her glasses, and pierces the dark veil of clouds up in the sky
  2362. >An otherwordly, vibrating hum shakes the ground
  2363. >Soon littler shards of light begin raining down everywhere
  2364. >They pierce the ground and then disappear, leaving only an eerie glow around all the tombstones surrounding you
  2365. >The all-pervasive humming shakes your entire body and the light travels behind your eyes
  2366. >Tears burn your vibrating eyes and you fall to your knees
  2367. >Just when you can't take anymore, everything stops
  2368. >You open your eyes; everyone in your group had huddled up against your legs in the confusion
  2369. >You all warily look around
  2370. >Nothing's happened
  2371. >Even Demon Twilight is still all tied up
  2372. >You take a moment to collect yourself before rousing the others
  2373. >You all regard each other a moment
  2374. So uh . . . what was that about?
  2375. >"I . . . don't know," Dash says
  2376. >"It sure was scary, though," Fluttershy says
  2377. >"I'm just glad we're all okay," Pinkie says, patting the hoof that's resting on her shoulder
  2378. >With a rotting ripping sound, the hoof falls off into her lap
  2379. >You all look over her shoulder
  2380. >See a zombie is hugging her
  2381. >She freaks out and punches it back
  2382. >It's head flies off
  2383. >And then she initiates the huddle again
  2384. >You look around
  2385. >All around is the sound of breaking soil
  2386. >In every direction, you see the hollowed-out eyes and decaying forms of the walking dead
  2387. >They moan and creak and scream as they all shamble towards you
  2388. >"DIE!!!" Demon Twilight calls out
  2389.  
  2390. what do?
  2391. ********
  2392. Book it out of there! Zombies are slow and frail, you're fast and meaty. They can't catch up to you!
  2393.  
  2394. This! Book it the fuck out and get to Zecora's!
  2395.  
  2396. Rhymin' Simon awaits!
  2397.  
  2398. Note to self: remember to compliment Twilight on her superb work in making this Halloween extra spooky, after this all blows over
  2399. ********
  2400.  
  2401. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osaz0SrDtHQ
  2402. >You all freeze up for a moment before you shake yourself out of it
  2403. Hey! Get the fuck up! We gotta run!
  2404. >You rouse everyone up and push them forward
  2405. Run, dammit! RUN!!!
  2406. >Just like sheep they scream and run in the direction you point them in
  2407. >Dash, of course, hovers over all the zombies like the top cunt she is
  2408. >Until a half-rotted pegasus with skeleton wings body-slams her back down to the ground
  2409. >You kick away the zombies nearest to you, grab the wagon and then join them in heading for the hills
  2410. >Together you all zigzag between graves and sprint up rolling green hills
  2411. >You push yourself forward, sprinting until your cheeks burn and your tired lungs go numb
  2412. >You double over as your burning legs go limp, no longer picking themselves up but more like flopping forward with noodle elasticity
  2413. >Each hoarse gasp of breath taints your burned throat with the surrounding smell of wetted ashes, floating off from the fetid shambling corpses and clouding around your eyes
  2414. >All this while you're also sidestepping and jumping past lumbering Romero zombies
  2415. >And trying to dodge the Tootsie Rolls that Ponk is tossing over her shoulder
  2416. >"Here you go every-scary-pony! You don't have to eat us now when you've got all these yummy sweets around!"
  2417. >Like, you're glad she remembered to grab the candy, but does she have to keep hitting you in the face with them?
  2418. >If these zombies even understand her, then their grim, oozing rotted-out faces don't show it
  2419. >And there are dozens, maybe even hundreds, to tell this by; one for each of the hundreds of disturbed graves all around you
  2420. >The zombies you push away now are starting to fall back against a crowd
  2421. >They're starting to surround you, to push you all into one small space and trap you like cattle
  2422. >There's just a small crowd of a dozen that now stand between you and the summit of the biggest hill yet
  2423. >It's so big you can't even see over it
  2424. >And the zombies that are on it are still trying to dig themselves out from the dirt
  2425. >"Hurry, the exit's just on the other side of that hill," Dash says
  2426. >The heavy crowd of zombies converges before you all, blocking the way
  2427. >Everyone halts, practically skidding across the ground to a stop
  2428. >You're completely surrounded
  2429. >As they close in on you, the zombies all begin moaning in a pattern
  2430. >"Uhhh uh Uhhhh!"
  2431. >It's only interrupted by the cawing coming from the crows that sit and watch from the nearby trees
  2432. >There are only two weak links in the circle of swarming zombies that's around you all
  2433. >One is in the dozen of zombies before you
  2434. >The other weak link is directly behind you
  2435. >There are only a dozen zombies there too, even though you were almost surrounded when this whole thing first started
  2436. >In fact those zombies behind you aren't even moving forward
  2437. >They keep dropping themselves down onto the ground, like they're looking for something
  2438. >They've all made a neat little pile of themselves so far
  2439. >So much so that even the crows are watching them
  2440. >"What are you guys doing?" Dash says. "We've got to keep moving. We can plow right through these zombies if we do it together."
  2441. Yeah, or we could all get swarmed and eaten while you fly away.
  2442. >"You got a better idea?" Dash says
  2443. I'm thinking, I'm thinking . . .
  2444. >Just then your Walkman stops
  2445. >Everything is silent
  2446. Oh, I've got it! It's completely crazy, but it might just work if we all . . . work together.
  2447. >You spit out a bad taste that comes up in your mouth
  2448. >"Wait, I've got an idea, too," Fluttershy says
  2449. >"So do I," Pinkie says
  2450. Well, those might be better. Mine involved dancing.
  2451. >Dash sneers
  2452. >"Dancing, seriously?"
  2453. >Pinkie and Fluttershy gasp and turn towards you with bright eyes
  2454. >"Dancing!" they both shout
  2455. >You cringe
  2456. I might've made a mistake here.
  2457.  
  2458. what do?
  2459. ********
  2460. I'm pretty sure I know where dancing goes, but I kinda want to see Shy's plan.
  2461.  
  2462. I was gonna suggest chainsaws, but lets hear Shy's plan first, and then decide between her plan, Thriller or L4D
  2463. ********
  2464.  
  2465. >"We're not dancing!" Dash says firmly
  2466. >Whatever
  2467. >You weren't really sure if you had put "Thriller" on there or "Beat It" anyway
  2468. Alright, I hate to say this, but, Fluttershy, you're our only hope.
  2469. >She squees and jumps into your arms
  2470. >"I won't let you down."
  2471. >Oh, she already has
  2472. >Then she steals a quick smooch off of you
  2473. >You toss her onto the ground and start spitting out a taste that's even worse than the stale air of rotting zombie flesh
  2474. >Man, that's the second kiss she's gotten tonight
  2475. >This really is a spooky night
  2476. >You'll have to compliment Twilight later on that, if she survives
  2477. >Fluttershy stands up in the middle of the zombie swarm
  2478. >She fluffs her wings and looks up to the skies
  2479. >Then she starts doing the chicken dance
  2480. >No, really, she's doing the chicken dance
  2481. >She's flapping her wings, and then shaking her rump, while slowly crouching down to the ground
  2482. >Then she stomps her hooves four times, and synchronizes it with her best bird call:
  2483. >"Caw! Caw! Caw! Caw!"
  2484. >You can even hear her softly singing the song underneath her breath so she keeps proper time
  2485. . . .
  2486. >If you weren't all about to die, you'd wrap your hands around her throat and squeeze her little pony neck until it snapped in two
  2487. Well, we're boned.
  2488. >Pinkie raises her hoof
  2489. >"Um, I had a plan too."
  2490. You shut up, you candy waster.
  2491. >"It was necessary!"
  2492. Whatever.
  2493. >You go over to the wagon and pick up the chainsaw
  2494. As usual, I have to save the day.
  2495. >Try to start it
  2496. >It doesn't work
  2497. >Of fucking course
  2498. >You drop it down into the wagon where it makes a crashing thud
  2499. >Then you start for Fluttershy with plans to beat your way through the zombie horde by using her as a club
  2500. >But as soon as you turn around, you have to stop and stare in awe at the sight before you
  2501. >Fluttershy is crouched down on the ground, and is surrounded by a thick whirlwind of cawing crows
  2502. >She rises up from the ground, a solemn expression on her bloody face as you see her open up her eyes
  2503. >Man, this is probably the most bad ass you've ever seen her
  2504. >She can never know you ever thought that about her
  2505. >Her head sinks a bit into her shoulders and she timidly raises one hoof up to her chest
  2506. >"Um, I'm sorry to be a bother, but do you crows think you could help my friends and I out by, um, eating all these zombies?"
  2507. >She waits for a moment
  2508. >"Oh, I know you're scavengers. It's just, it would really help us out. I could come out here every weekend and leave you all some yummy birdseed if you do."
  2509. >After a moment there's a hearty assent of caws and chirps from all the crows in the birdy twister
  2510. >The circle soon widens until the birds are flying all around the four of you
  2511. >Any zombies that try to break through are attacked by angry crows
  2512. >They peck and tear at the faces of the zombies and easily rip off pieces of their rotting flesh
  2513. >Feathers and cold strips of flesh fly through the air, which is noisy with caws and the distressed moans of the dead
  2514. >Soon the zombies surrounding you are all too busy fighting off the crows to keep closing in
  2515. >The three of you look all around in awe for a moment before Fluttershy flies down to meet your gazes
  2516. >She gives herself a small moment to beam before straightening up and saying:
  2517. >"We should, um, probably go now."
  2518. >"Awesome job, Fluttershy," Dash says, flying past her
  2519. >"Yeah, you're a regular crow whisperer," Pinkie says
  2520. >She looks up at you proudly
  2521. >Try not to seem impressed
  2522. Good job not getting us killed.
  2523. >"Thanks," she says, blushing
  2524. >For you that's practically a compliment
  2525. >Damn
  2526. >You meet up with Dash, who's stopped for some reason which can't be at all good
  2527. >"We still have to break through," she says
  2528. >She points at the dozen of zombies that are still in front of you
  2529. >But they're too busy fighting off crows to notice any of you
  2530. >"Any ideas?" Dash says
  2531. Yeah, I've got one.
  2532. >"Really? What is--"you grab her by her tail and pull her down
  2533. >"AH!! What are you doing?!"
  2534. Just implementing the plan you suggested earlier.
  2535. >You carry Dash underneath your shoulder and point her towards the zombie horde
  2536. >Her ears fall flat
  2537. >"Oh crap . . ."
  2538. Zoomed! Words!
  2539. >Using her as a battering ram, you charge through the zombies, knocking them down like bowling pins
  2540. >You push forward, bumping and punching the distracted zombies, with Dash's head, like you're caught in a mosh
  2541. >At the first sliver of an opening, you jump through to the other side of the crowd
  2542. >Fluttershy and Pinkie, who's pulling the wagon along with her tail, follow you out
  2543. >You look up the hill and see that the zombies there still haven't risen fully out of the ground
  2544. Looks like we made it in time. Good job, Dash.
  2545. >". . . Girugamesh . . . ?" she says, her eyes crossed and derpy
  2546. >Sling her up on your shoulder and start up the hill
  2547. >It takes a long time to climb
  2548. >At some points the incline is so steep that you're almost crawling up
  2549. >Eventually you reach the top
  2550. >Stand up and turn around
  2551. >The zombies and crows all look like ants from up here
  2552. >Then you turn the other way and see that the zombies on that side all look like ants too
  2553. >In fact they look like a lot of ants
  2554. >Hundreds of lumbering, flesh-eating ants that are all coming your way
  2555. >Oh, but past all that you can see the gate that leads out of here
  2556. >Glare down at Dash
  2557. You said that the exit was just on the other side, not five football fields away.
  2558. >"Troll line: everyone beyond this point has been trolled," she says, her eyes spinning around in her head
  2559. >She's still kinda derped
  2560. >You share despairing looks with everyone else
  2561. We're going to need a lot more crows.
  2562. >"There aren't any more, though," Fluttershy says
  2563. Yeah, I figured. I was just trying to think of a bitching line to say.
  2564. >"Oh."
  2565. >Meanwhile you can hear all the zombies are still chanting
  2566. >"Uhhh uh Uhhhh!"
  2567. >It's starting to sound like they're trying to say something, but you have no idea what
  2568. >Gotta find a way out of here
  2569. >You look to the right and see that someone left a shovel over by a locked mausoleum
  2570. >You point it out
  2571. Pinkie, go get that. It might be useful as a temporary replacement for the chainsaw.
  2572. >You look at the wagon
  2573. And the way out is mostly downhill.
  2574. >Feel a tap on your thigh
  2575. >"I hate to take one of the things I find, um, sexiest about you and make it into a negative . . ."
  2576. >She blushes so hard that you can see it through the dried blood on her face
  2577. >You can still see it when she starts hiding behind her mane
  2578. Get to the point.
  2579. >"Well, it's just, aren't you too big to ride the wagon down?"
  2580. Yeah, that could be a problem.
  2581. >But there has to be a way out
  2582. >Fluttershy's got her crows, and she's good with rope
  2583. >Dash has got her speed, and she fly pretty well while carrying things (even with boxing gloves on)
  2584. >Ponk is like the wildcard, so who knows what she can do
  2585. >You've got a pistol, a faulty chainsaw, a Walkman with Metal Machine Music (and other stuff that you've taped it over with), Spooky Spells, Twilight's dick journal, a Demon Twilight, and a sack of candy
  2586. >It's time to MacGyver a solution
  2587. >Or do something completely crazy
  2588.  
  2589. what do?
  2590. ********
  2591. Stand on top of your battle chariot, "U.S.S Wagon", while your trusty steed, Rainbow Dash, pulls you into battle.
  2592.  
  2593. With the Metal Machine Music blasting and wielding the shovel like a baseball bat forged by the gods themselves, nothing can stop you. You might not have been good at baseball back in the human world, but you're sure one of those zombie heads will hit a homerun today.
  2594.  
  2595. ...or you could figure out what the zombies are trying to say, but where's the fun in that. Twilight raised them, so it's likely just dick chants and you're NOT about to give them the dick journal
  2596. ********
  2597.  
  2598. >The zombies are beginning to crowd at the bottom of the hill
  2599. >Some of them are already halfway up
  2600. >Meanwhile you're stretching your good arm, getting ready for the battle ahead
  2601. >You're going down the hill, zombies be damned
  2602. >If you're lucky, you'll take some out with you before you crash and eventually get ripped apart
  2603. >The girls tried to talk you out of it, of course
  2604. >Well, except for Dash, but she's been too busy whispering to herself and giggling for over fifteen minutes now
  2605. >Might have to whack her in the head later and see if that fixes her
  2606. >"Okay, I'm finished," Fluttershy says
  2607. >The wagon, which is faced downhill, now only carries your Walkman and speakers, Frank's pistol, Twilight's dick journal, and the Spooky Spells book
  2608. Alright, let's see if this works.
  2609. >With one leg on either side, you hold yourself up over the wagon and then slowly ease down into it
  2610. >Your weight bears down on it greatly but the wheels don't sink into the ground at all
  2611. >So at least the wagon will be able to still roll with you on it
  2612. >The sides of the wagon pinch your ass pretty tight, though
  2613. >Fluttershy leans her face down close by your seat and pokes your bulging ass fat
  2614. >"Oh, your rump doesn't fit all the way. It looks like I was right about you being too big."
  2615. S-Shut up.
  2616. >Hold out your hand
  2617. Ponk, shovel me.
  2618. >"Okie dokie. But I think I better hold onto the candy."
  2619. >Et tu, Ponk?
  2620. Y-You too.
  2621. >Shovel in one hand and pistol in the other, you bring your legs in and then press your feet against the front of the wagon
  2622. >Your Walkman and speakers sit between your legs, and the two books are underneath you
  2623. >And Twilight's dick journal is really riding up your ass
  2624. >Which is not only annoying, but it also kind of makes you feel weird
  2625. Alright, the U.S.S. Wagon is ready. Position the Dash.
  2626. >The others pick Rainbow Dash, your trusty steed, up off the ground and move her to the front of the wagon
  2627. >Fluttershy ties Dash's tail in a knot around the wagon handle
  2628. >Dash doesn't seem to mind or even notice
  2629. >She's too busy mumbling "You're the Man Now, Dog!" repeatedly
  2630. >After much struggling, Fluttershy finishes tying Demon Twilight's tail to the rear axle of the wagon
  2631. >Yeah, those are purple eyes that are looking up at you with fear
  2632. >You're just hoping that the garbage bag will help ease up on any damage the dragging might do to her
  2633. >You notice Fluttershy is sidling up to your side while pretending to look the other way
  2634. >She falsely "Eeps!" when she brushes up against you
  2635. >When she turns to look at you she brushes some stray hairs out from her eyes
  2636. >"Oh, I didn't see you there," she says, awkwardly forcing a laugh
  2637. If you're trying to force us into having a moment or something, then you're failing.
  2638. >She looks down a sighs
  2639. >"I know. I mean, I figured I wouldn't. You've never liked me before, even when we weren't all about to face certain doom."
  2640. >She turns around
  2641. >"Sorry. It's just, I hope we all make it out okay."
  2642. >She walks past you
  2643. >You're silent for a moment
  2644. >Then you take in a deep breath and try to stay focused on what must be done
  2645. >Look over your shoulder, back at everyone
  2646. Okay, is everyone ready?
  2647. >Fluttershy nods as the sky behind her fills with crows
  2648. >Pinkie starts up the chainsaw with one pull, then smiles at you
  2649. >Don't look so smug, Ponk
  2650. >She then gives Fluttershy the candy sack and whispers some instructions to her
  2651. >Of course she has to find a way to waste candy right before you all face certain death
  2652. >A second later Pinkie approaches you and offers you a Reeses
  2653. >"Enjoy it while you can."
  2654. >You all take a moment to eat your individual pieces of candy
  2655. >Then Ponk dumps the entire sack of candy out on the ground
  2656. >"Trust me on this," she says when she sees your angry expression
  2657. >The crows all start swooping down onto the pile and picking up pieces of candy
  2658. >Then they fly out in a flock, hovering closely over the heads of the zombies closest by
  2659. >The few dead there look up to the sky
  2660. >Should probably go while they're distracted
  2661. Alright, we're moving out!
  2662. >"I'm ready!" Pinkie says
  2663. >"Me too, I mean, that is, if you're ready, then I guess I'm--Eep!"
  2664. >Between you and them, the soil breaks up
  2665. >Two grey rotting arms raise themselves out from the upturned dirt
  2666. >Soon the dirt all around you starts breaking up
  2667. >Feel something smack against the bottom of the wagon
  2668. Let's go! I'm starting up the Dash, stay close behind me.
  2669. >Oh, you almost forgot
  2670. >You put a tape in your Walkman and press play
  2671. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HF2N9q2QM-4
  2672. >Ah, bliss!
  2673. >Feel arms wrap around your body from behind
  2674. >Fucking Zombie!!
  2675. >Just as you're about ready to smack it with the shovel you hear another "Eep!"
  2676. >Oh, it's just . . .
  2677. Fucking Fluttershy! What are you doing?
  2678. >"You said to stay close behind you."
  2679. >You didn't mean this close
  2680. Flutters--
  2681. >Hear a moan come from right next to you
  2682. >Turn and see a zombie is rising up, with its hooves on top of the wagon
  2683. >With its head right by your leg, it bares its black decaying teeth
  2684. >Fuck, you're too late!
  2685. >Just then Pinkie brings the chainsaw down on both its arms
  2686. >She saw right through them in a second and leaves them laying with you in the wagon
  2687. >Then, aiming for the neck, she decapitates the zombie with one swing
  2688. >All over your face you're sprayed with bits of cold flesh and coagulated blood
  2689. >At least your mouth wasn't open
  2690. >Wait, why do you taste dead skin?
  2691. >Pinkie looks down at the headless corpse and says sorry
  2692. >Then she turns to you
  2693. >"Guys, we gotta go now!"
  2694. >Fluttershy squeezes you tighter
  2695. >Groan
  2696. Fine, you can stay, but don't pull me off.
  2697. >And you mean that in more ways than one
  2698. >Time to put Dash in drive
  2699. >You slap her on her flanks
  2700. I'mma Firin' Mah Lazer!!
  2701. >She rears and then starts screaming
  2702. >"OOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
  2703. >She trots forward and, with a quick jerk, the wagon follows her down the hill
  2704. >You quickly pick up speed; the wind blows your hair back and whips against your frozen cheeks and blue lips
  2705. >The incline is so steep that you have to lean back just so you don't go somersaulting over Dash
  2706. >You can hear Demon Twilight being dragged behind you, flopping up and slamming down as she goes over bumps
  2707. >And you're not sure, but you think Fluttershy is standing on top of her, like she's a board
  2708. >Either way, she hasn't fallen off yet, and her hooves have moved down enough to where she's cupping your demon boner
  2709. >You'd backhand her if you weren't sure that it'd take you all down
  2710. >Dammit, this must've been her plan all along
  2711. >When the wagon starts biting at her heels, Dash opens up her wings
  2712. >She extends her arms forward and starts flying
  2713. >She pretty much just turned on the turbo
  2714. >You can't even hear anything else besides the wind whistling in your ears
  2715. >While the roller coaster ride is exciting, your grip on the shovel tightens as the zombies get closer
  2716. >A few yards down, and fast approaching, six rotting bodies shamble on into the direct path of the wagon
  2717. >You've got heads to knock
  2718. >You get a few practice swings on the way down, the blade audibly slicing through the wind
  2719. >You look forward
  2720. >Here they come!
  2721. >Dash bends her head down and plows through the crowd
  2722. >They fall and break to flying pieces, like a shotgun exploding a grapefruit
  2723. >You swing the shovel, slicing through the barrage of body parts, batting away all the split bones and rotten chunks of meatstuff
  2724. >Little flecks of the stuff splatter onto your numb cheeks and sneering lips
  2725. >But you're too focused on the next small crowd that you're barreling towards
  2726. >Dash bows her head down, charges right through the crowd, and starts up another round of the ol' smash and slash
  2727. >By the end of this one you can feel the gelatinous chunks start to get stuck in your hair
  2728. >But the speed, the wind, the cold clocking of flying zombie parts--its all exhilarating
  2729. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7py_7ke--4
  2730. >There's a zombie lunging for you at the side
  2731. >You twist your whole body with your swing and feel its head get knocked clean off
  2732. >The headless body falls down into the path behind you
  2733. >Holy Shit!! This is awesome!
  2734. >Yeah, you wanna destroy!
  2735. >You drop the pistol between your legs
  2736. >Bring your feet in and then crouch down in the rocking rolling wagon
  2737. >Slowly, you rise unsteadily up
  2738. >Bring your right foot forward and plant it on the front of the wagon
  2739. >Widen your legs into a power stance and lean forward to steady yourself
  2740. >Fluttershy manages to hang onto your waist, too, and she flies behind you like a flag
  2741. >You stare down the next upcoming crowd of zombies
  2742. >Lift your shovel up and wave it around behind you, like a batter getting ready for the pitch
  2743. >Dash rams through them and sends more heads and chests and limbs flying at you
  2744. >Knock them all to fuck all while screaming in manic glee
  2745. >You feel fucking invincible
  2746. >Spit some chunks out from your mouth and face the path again
  2747. >Except there's nothing there
  2748. Come on, then! Come out so I can stomp ya.
  2749. >Despite your insistence, no zombies come out
  2750. >You come upon the massive flock of crows
  2751. >Watch as they fly over the graves all around
  2752. >Little pieces of candy rain down on top of the shambling zombies
  2753. >The zombies stop for a moment before flopping down to the ground
  2754. >And this is happening everywhere
  2755. >They aren't advancing anymore
  2756. >Even their chant has changed
  2757. >"Uhhhh Uhh!"
  2758. >Your shovel slips down off your shoulder and dangles limply between your legs
  2759. >What the actual fuck is going on here?
  2760. >Look back to see if Pinkie is at least chopping some flesh
  2761. >See she's being closed in on by a dozen zombies
  2762. >But she looks happy
  2763. >And upon closer inspection, they aren't actually attacking her at all
  2764. >Then you watch as she reaches into her mane and pulls out a hooffull of Tootsie Rolls
  2765. >Wait, those are your's
  2766. >That bitch was hoarding on you!
  2767. >But you forget about that when you watch as she carefully places a piece of candy in each of the zombies' dangling mouths
  2768. >That's when it all starts to make sense
  2769. >These zombies don't want your flesh
  2770. They're trick or treaters!
  2771. >These rotting dudes are your people!
  2772. >And you've been killing them, again!
  2773. >Another crowd gathers as you approach the bottom of the hill
  2774. >But they aren't trying to stop you
  2775. >They're just lining up to see if you'll give them any candy
  2776. >And you're going to plow right into them
  2777. No, wait!
  2778. >You yank back on Dash's tail
  2779. Dash, stop! Hey!
  2780. >"There are no brakes!"
  2781. >Damn, that won't work
  2782. >See her lower your head
  2783. >The crash is inevitable
  2784. >You swallow a lump in your throat and raise your shovel
  2785. I am so sorry for this. . . .
  2786. >Dash smashes into the crowd, completely obliterating them
  2787. >You stare upwards as a fine mist of dead skin and globs of cold blood rain down on your little war wagon
  2788. It turns out that the real monster . . . was man!
  2789. >You sigh, then look forward at the gate, fast approaching
  2790. >Well, at least you finally made it to the exit
  2791. >Just then, up ahead, a dozen little lights start to flicker and come alive
  2792. >In the center of them all, right in front of the gate, you recognize the mayor's glowing face, carved in orange
  2793. >Other familiar-looking Jack o Lanterns illumine themselves and appear from out of the dark
  2794. >There's a giant creaking sound, like an enormous redwood falling down, that cuts through the wind as the Jack o Lanterns rise up off the ground
  2795. >Their huge bodies, made up of thick green vines, stand taller than the gate
  2796. >And they're completely blocking the only way out
  2797.  
  2798. what do?
  2799. ********
  2800. Take a moment to solemnly ponder your decision to go on a killing spree, instead of giving the zombies the benefit of the doubt, and hearing them out first, before brutally demolishing them.
  2801.  
  2802. Contemplate if this has all been worth it, if all the horror you have committed on this evening has gone too far. Twilight has been possessed by dick demon. You scarred a mom and her kids. Your good 'buddy', Frank, is lying dead or unconscious outside the cemetery gates. You went on a murderous rampage of innocent little zombie ponies, just because of how they looked. You sent off the two guards to meet their untimely demise.
  2803. All this, just to have your twisted idea of fun. Was it worth it? Was it, really?
  2804.  
  2805. Yes, yes it was. And since the strategy of murder and rampage have been serving you well so far, you don't see a reason to stop.
  2806.  
  2807. Before you stand pumpkin monsters. But behind you; behind you stands a ponk pone, with a chainsaw, and an unreasonable mastery in carving dicks out of pumpkins.
  2808.  
  2809. This. These pumpkin fuckers aren't gonna get any of your precious candy. Carve those fuckers a new asshole in the shape of dicks.
  2810. ********
  2811.  
  2812. >Obviously they're some kinda demon pumpkins that you'll have to kill
  2813. >They for sure will want to kill you if you don't strike first
  2814. >They already did that guard in, and all the poor guy wanted was an orgy
  2815. >Did he really deserve to die for that?
  2816. >Like you knew he was going to bite it; it does kind of come with the night and all
  2817. >Everyone knows that you never split up the group
  2818. >If he'd known better, or at least listened to you summarize a few episodes of Scooby-Doo, he probably would've lived through the night
  2819. >And you were the one who sent him on his way, despite knowing what would happen
  2820. >As fun as a spooky Halloween is, death lasts longer than any holiday
  2821. >And what about the fun of everyone else?
  2822. >Halloween might be your favorite holiday, but it's not just your's
  2823. >Twilight just wanted to help you make things spooky, and she ended up getting possessed
  2824. >You ruined Halloween for those kids you threw up on
  2825. >Like, they already have a bitch for a mom, and then you go and do that to them
  2826. >This was probably one of the few days they could even tolerate their miserable existence for just a few, sweet, candy-filled hours
  2827. >You probably could've helped Frank out somehow too
  2828. >It's not like he's a monster or anything--well not literally
  2829. >You've just been too selfish tonight to think about anything but your own kicks
  2830. >Even the zombies ended up being Halloween lovers just like you, and you killed them because it was the first thing you thought to do
  2831. >You just know they could've been great bros
  2832. >What is it that makes you act like such a dick sometimes?
  2833. >Maybe if you had just a little bit of that pony nonsense about love and friendship in your mind, then you might've acted differently
  2834. >You might not have ruined your life, or gotten what few friends you have in a life or death predicament
  2835. >You might've even had a better Halloween
  2836. >All you had to do was try and share your fun with the few who tolerate you enough to actually reach out once in a while, and not try to hoard it all for yourself
  2837. >Aren't the best memories always the ones where everyone is happy, not just you?
  2838. >It's worked for these ponies so far
  2839. >Maybe it could work for you too
  2840. >. . . Then again, it's not called 'treat or treat'
  2841. >It's 'trick or treat'
  2842. >And it's not like these ponies don't have enough friendship to go around already
  2843. >You offer something different, after all
  2844. >Maybe it's dangerous sometimes, but being nice all the time never got rid of all the danger in the world
  2845. >You got into this your way
  2846. >And that's how you're going to get out of it
  2847. >Why should giant murderous pumpkin creatures from hell get friendship anyway?
  2848. >It's pumpkin carving time!
  2849. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5bnolukcuQ
  2850. >You pick up your gun, point it up, and then let two shots fly
  2851. >Look up and see Ponk soaring headfirst through the air, her chainsaw held in her tail
  2852. >She opens up her mouth and catches both candy corn bullets
  2853. >Then she flips forward, somersaulting through the air until she's got the chainsaw in her hooves again
  2854. >With the saw held over her head, she brings it forward as she flies into the first Jack o Lantern
  2855. >The pumpkin screeches as orange chunks arc over Pinkie's head and splatter down onto the ground
  2856. >Like a pink blur, she zips around all the other heads, slicing and carving and leaving a multitude of glowing orange dicks in her pink path
  2857. >By the time you come to a stop at the foot of the giants, they're all wearing new and unique kinds of dick faces
  2858. >Ponk carves the last dick and then jumps down next to you all
  2859. >She's covered in flecks of orange goo and has pumpkin seeds stuck in her mane
  2860. Good work, Ponk.
  2861. >She smiles
  2862. >The giants all start turning towards each other, all of them checking the other out
  2863. >It's then that you can hear them talking, telling one another in deep voices what kind of dicks they have
  2864. >"Your's looks like a dick."
  2865. >"Woah! So does your's!"
  2866. >"Really? Sweet."
  2867. >Eventually they all lean down towards you all
  2868. >"This is fantastic work you've done, pink mortal. You truly know your dick stuff."
  2869. >"Wow, thanks," Pinkie says, blushing
  2870. >"And to think, we were going to make you all fight to the death and then drag your dead souls down to hell."
  2871. >"Huh, really?"
  2872. >"Yeah. It seems so crazy now, right?"
  2873. >Meh, not really
  2874. >But he doesn't need to know that
  2875. >"And you," says a pumpkin that has your dick on his face, "we were watching you blast down that hill. That was sick, man."
  2876. It was pretty cool.
  2877. >Just then Dash starts shushing you
  2878. >"Can you keep it down? I'm trying to nap here."
  2879. >Actually, she's standing straight up; but she does keep nodding off
  2880. >She looks like hell, really
  2881. >She has a pinched face, and her mane is covered in zombie guts
  2882. >And little red drops start dripping out from her damp folded ear
  2883. Is . . . is your ear leaking?
  2884. >Dash blinks, barely comprehending the question
  2885. >Then she falls over onto her side
  2886. >"That's hardcore," says a pumpkin with a big hairy stallion dick on his face
  2887. Might have to get her to the hospital after all this.
  2888. >She starts snoring like a bear
  2889. >A pumpkin with a barbed rat dick on his face points at Demon Twilight, who's still tied to the wagon
  2890. >"What happened to that one?"
  2891. >You didn't notice before he pointed it out, but Twily ain't looking so good anymore
  2892. >By now her eyes have fully turned up inside her head, the whites of them colored a filthy red
  2893. >Her face is a sickly pale pallor and has broken out all over in oozing sores
  2894. >Even with the gag, you can hear her labored demonic wheezing
  2895. >"She looks like she has to take a wicked dump or something," says ol' rat dick face
  2896. >"Man, remember how that used to feel, taking a sweet fat dump?" says the pumpkin with your dick
  2897. >The other pumpkins all nod and start happily sharing stories about gnarly dumps they took
  2898. >You'd love to stay and hear all their stories but you still have to go do zebra stuff
  2899. Guys, we'd love to stay and chat, but we got an exorcism to do before midnight. It's kind of important, or else we'll lose the soul of the princess of friendship to some faggy dude named Midnight.
  2900. >The pumpkins all stop talking
  2901. >"Dude," the one with your dick says, "have you got Midnight Sparkle in there?"
  2902. >"You mean Spergle, right?" rat dick says
  2903. >"Yeah, totally."
  2904. >All the pumpkins start laughing
  2905. >Demon Twilight looks pissed
  2906.  
  2907. ********
  2908. Idk if your still taking suggestions but I think it'd be wise to ask these pumpkin bros how to exercise spergle from Twilight.
  2909. ********
  2910.  
  2911. >Your pumpkin bros start talking more shit about Midnight
  2912. >"If that's Midnight then I ain't surprised you got that ball in her mouth."
  2913. >"Did she try and tell you about the Barbie universe yet?"
  2914. >Demon Twilight flops up like a fish out of water
  2915. >"Fools! If I had succeeded in taking over the Barbies I would've been all powerful!" she screams
  2916. >. . .
  2917. No you.
  2918. >"HA! You're alright," says the pumpkin with your dick on his face. "This guy's alright."
  2919. Thanks. You guys think you could help us out with this whole possession thing?
  2920. >"Hey, if it means pissing off Midnight, we can try. Ain't that right, guys?"
  2921. >The other pumpkins all shrug and agree
  2922. >The pumpkin with your dick carved on him, who you've decided shall now be named Your Dick Face, bends down over Demon Twilight
  2923. >"Now first thing's first, does your friend here have a soul?"
  2924. I would assume so . . . ?
  2925. >You look to the rest of your group, who all look just as confused as you
  2926. >Turn back to Your Dick Face
  2927. You mean people really do have souls?
  2928. >"Well, some do and some don't, as I'm sure Midnight could tell you. Dumbass has dragged people without souls to hell before."
  2929. People can end up in Hell even if they don't have a soul?
  2930. >"Technically, yes. But they won't stay long."
  2931. >Wow, so they get to leave
  2932. >There goes the whole conflict
  2933. >"So if Twilight doesn't have a soul, then she's not really in any danger?" Fluttershy says
  2934. >"Eh, she won't be Spergle's slave for an eternity, at least," says Your Dick Face
  2935. So what happens to her instead?
  2936. >"She'll explode."
  2937. >Fluttershy and Pinkie both gasp
  2938. >You purse your lips
  2939. That's a problem.
  2940. >"Yeah, it always happens to anyone without a soul that ends up in Hell," says Your Dick Face. "And we've seen it happen to those Spergle brings in more than anyone else."
  2941. >"And it's usually right in the middle of her 'You will Experience Dick Torture for the rest of Eternity!' speech," says Rat Dick Face
  2942. >"Yeah, you should see her face when she realizes she's fucked up," says Horse Dick Face. "It just screams 'surprise butt sex'!"
  2943. >The other pumpkins agree that it's hilarious
  2944. >Then after a moment (Fluttershy started crying) they do a one-eighty
  2945. >"Oh, but we'll try to make sure it doesn't happen this time," says Rat Dick Face
  2946. So how come some people have souls and some don't?
  2947. >"Beats me," says Your Dick Face
  2948. That's helpful.
  2949. >"It's not like you get all the answers handed to you after you die. I'm a summoning demon, not a possessing one. Yeah, there's a difference."
  2950. Then why did you even ask us if she had a soul when you can't even find out for yourself?
  2951. >". . . Look, I'm just trying to help. Spergle isn't going to want to take your friend if she finds out that she doesn't have a soul."
  2952. So even Spergle doesn't know if Twilight has a soul or not?
  2953. >"Well, this is Spergle we're talking about here, not exactly the picture of competence."
  2954. >"You know how many times she's ended up killing her host before full possession takes affect?" says Rat Dick Face
  2955. >"One of the times she was actually an infant," says Horse Dick Face. "She got trapped in a plastic grocery bag, then fell in a sink full of water--and she still knocked the toaster in with her."
  2956. >It's starting to make sense how you've been able to live so long through this night
  2957. >You turn and address your group
  2958. Alright, who here thinks Twilight has a soul.
  2959. >"I would say that, um, yes, she does," Fluttershy says
  2960. That doesn't help.
  2961. >"I know. It's just, I don't think it would be very nice of me if I said no."
  2962. The opposite is more true, considering the situation.
  2963. >"But she has to have a soul, silly," Pinkie said
  2964. >She grabs the dick journal and opens it to a random page
  2965. >"I mean just look at these dicks. That's art! You can't be a sellout and still be this good."
  2966. >"And you would know!" says Rat Dick Face
  2967. >Pinkie thanks him for the compliment
  2968. >"I mean it's pretty much a rule that anyone who loves dicks has to have a soul," says Rat Dick Face
  2969. >"Question!" Dash says, lying flat on her back but still raising her hoof up. "Does this mean lesbians don't have souls?"
  2970. >"Well, yeah, I thought that was common knowledge," says Rat Dick Face, chuckling along with the other pumpkins
  2971. >"Dang," Dash says, her arm flopping back down by her side. "I better start learning how to love the dick then."
  2972. >Hearing this, Pinkie and Fluttershy eagerly turn towards each other, their eyes lighting up
  2973. >"Oh, and before I pass back out," Dash says, "Twilight is definitely not a lesbian. Trust me on that."
  2974. >Yeah, you recognize that tone she had at the end there; you've heard Fluttershy use it before
  2975. >It's the old 'I definitely have tried rape before' tone, which is a mixture of shame, embarrassment, regret, and mainly frustration
  2976. >It's fitting, then, that she's dressed as Mike Tyson
  2977. >Your Dick Face looks at the journal for a moment
  2978. >"Yeah, I mean, this definitely proves she likes dicks, but she could still not have a soul."
  2979. >"Believe it or not, hell isn't actually all about dicks," says Rat Dick Face
  2980. >"I don't believe you!" Pinkie shouts
  2981. >"I don't want to believe you," Fluttershy says, "if that's alright with you."
  2982. >"I mean, we like dicks and all, and they're an essential part of Hell, but it's not everything," says Rat Dick Face.
  2983. >"But then of course you have dumbass demons, like Spergle there, who like to come up here and act a fool, making it so that everyone develops an incorrect impression of Hell as some kind of dick paradise," says Horse Dick Face
  2984. >"We demons have actually worked for years to destroy that stereotypical image of us as little red devils that are obsessed with dicks," says Your Dick Face
  2985. >"Yeah, it's offensive," says Horse Dick Face. "And, to tell the truth, it can also be hurtful."
  2986. >Horse Dick Face slumps his enormous shoulders after saying this, prompting Rat Dick Face to offer him a comforting shoulder
  2987. >Man, are all demons this gay?
  2988. Guys, focus! Is there any way at all to tell if Twilight has a soul?
  2989. >The pumpkins all look to each other for a moment, shrugging
  2990. >"How is she for organized religion?" says Rat Dick Face
  2991. Nope. Ponies are all heathens that choose to worship whoever among them has the most assets.
  2992. >Man, just thinking about Celestia's big assets . . .
  2993. >Unf!
  2994. But no religion is good, right? That has to count as a point towards 'soulless'.
  2995. >The pumpkins all halfheartedly agree
  2996. >Spergle has stopped floundering and is lying still
  2997. Any other ideas we can use for the soulless category?
  2998. >The pumpkins huddle up for a moment
  2999. >Eventually they break apart, and Your Dick Face says:
  3000. >"You got any Ray Charles tapes we can play for her, see if she grooves at all?"
  3001. Nope.
  3002. >"What about Van Morrison?"
  3003. Nah.
  3004. >"Mingus?"
  3005. I don't have anything that could be considered soulful taped over my copy of Metal Machine Music.
  3006. >"Brother, if you don't consider Metal Machine Music soulful, then you ain't mah nigga."
  3007. Motherfucker, don't even try to talk to me about Metal Machine Music.
  3008. >"Look, we all love Metal Machine Music," says Rat Dick Face
  3009. >The pumpkins all voice their assent
  3010. >Fluttershy and Pinkie share a brief look of disgust
  3011. >"We'll keep thinking about soullessness," says Your Dick Face
  3012. >The rest of you also think on it
  3013. >Does Twilight have a soul?
  3014. >If you can prove she doesn't have one, then Spergle won't want to take her anymore
  3015. >There's got to be a sure way you can find out whether she's got soul or not
  3016.  
  3017. what do?
  3018. ********
  3019. Well, you need to find out out whether or not Twilight likes dick, and Anon is the only one there with a dick... Think you may need to "exercise" the Demon from Twilight.
  3020. ********
  3021.  
  3022. >"Wait, I've got it," says Rat Dick Face. "I know exactly what you should do."
  3023. >Oh God
  3024. >Why's he pointing at you?
  3025. Okay, fine. What is it?
  3026. >"You should fuck her."
  3027. >The other pumpkins all nod and agree with this
  3028. >"Yeah, we've literally never seen Spergle get any action before," says Rat Dick Face
  3029. >Huh, wonder why . . .
  3030. >You blink
  3031. >Look back at the graying, sore-covered demonic face of Demon Twilight
  3032. >She's breathing huskily through her snotty nose, her cold breath leaving dew on the ball gag below
  3033. >. . . Yeah, that's why
  3034. >Turn back to your pumpkin bros
  3035. Yeah, I'm going to have to--
  3036. >"Absolutely not!" Fluttershy says, jumping onto you and hugging you tight
  3037. >Oh, and she's crying--and wiping her nose on your shirt
  3038. >Great, you're getting slimed either way
  3039. Fluttershy, get off me, I'm not doing it.
  3040. >The pumpkins all start grousing
  3041. >"Aw, why not?" says Horse Dick Face
  3042. Because she's fucking gross, for one. Because she's a pony and I'm a dude, because horse fucking isn't really my thing--seriously, Fluttershy, get off of me!
  3043. >You pry her arms off and let her fall down on her rump
  3044. And the last time I put my dick anywhere near her she turned her mouth into a pencil sharpener. I don't need any of my length shortened off, thank you very much.
  3045. >"A pencil sharpener?" says Horse Dick Face
  3046. >"It's true," Fluttershy says, getting up. "I'll show you."
  3047. >See Fluttershy go over and lift Twilight up before pushing her up onto the wagon
  3048. >Dash snorts briefly in her sleep when Twilight's chin slaps against her belly
  3049. >Then, baring her teeth, Fluttershy starts tearing open the Hefty trash bag near the bottom
  3050. >Man, those bags are supposed to be made of tougher stuff
  3051. >While Fluttershy positions Twilight, you turn back towards the pumpkins
  3052. Man, look what you guys did now. She's got her rape face on.
  3053. >"I like her spirit," says Your Dick Face
  3054. How would me fucking Twilight even help us at all?
  3055. >"It'd tell us whether she liked dick or not."
  3056. She has a literal journal of dicks, you've seen it.
  3057. >"Oh, so you have a better idea?"
  3058. . . . No.
  3059. >But it's not like it'd be hard to come up with one
  3060. >"Everypony look over here," Fluttershy says
  3061. >Soon Twilight's rump is exposed and raised up over the edge of the wagon
  3062. >Fluttershy digs her hooves into each of her friend's plump purple cheeks, then spreads them
  3063. >Oh, are we just willfully exposing our friends to each other now?
  3064. >Anyway, she spreads Twilight's cheeks
  3065. >And, man, if you thought Twilight's face was bad. . . .
  3066. >Picture this: a moldy puckered lemon, covered in bloody scabs, sitting over a fungus-green grilled cheese sandwich
  3067. >And the sour yellow puss cheese is still melted and stringy
  3068. >Oh, and inside that grilled cheese, is a flaming vortex, a portal to hell filled with the agonized screaming of the eternally damned
  3069. >The light from it flickers across your faces, like the cozy glow of a winter fireplace
  3070. >"Dude," says Your Dick Face slowly, "are you seriously telling me that you aren't going to put your dick in that?"
  3071. You what? NO!!
  3072. >All the pumpkins look at each other a moment
  3073. >"Why not?"
  3074. I'm surprised you're asking at all. I thought you guys hated Spergle.
  3075. >They judge her spread and shrug
  3076. >"It's not that bad."
  3077. >"Just do it, but think of it like an exercise."
  3078. You mean an exorcism?
  3079. >"Kinda, yeah."
  3080. >Man, these pumpkin bros are starting to get on your nerves
  3081. Hasn't she already done enough to my dick?
  3082. >"It's true," Fluttershy says. "I'll show you."
  3083. You what?!
  3084. >With amazing rape speed, Fluttershy flies over to you, reaches into your pants and pulls out your demon boner
  3085. >The pumpkins 'ooh' and 'aah' at your glowing red member
  3086. >Glare at Fluttershy
  3087. Man, I'd put you on a leash if I wasn't so sure that you would get way too into it.
  3088. >"Dude, your dick . . ." says Your Dick Face
  3089. What of it?
  3090. >"Isn't it nice?" Fluttershy says
  3091. >"It's been my muse recently," Ponk says
  3092. >"That looks like the dick on your face," says Rat Dick face, pointing to Your Dick Face
  3093. >Everyone else looks from you to Your Dick Face, judging
  3094. >"Yeah, I guess so," says Your Dick Face. "Except mine's not cursed."
  3095. >Everyone nods
  3096. >So do you, looking down at it
  3097. Yeah, my dick has been kind of problematic late--
  3098. >Jerk your head up
  3099. Did you just say cursed?!
  3100. >"Yeah, you're going to lose that dick, bro. Spergle's got dibs on that one."
  3101. >"That dick's getting ripped off and dragged to Hell."
  3102. >Oh God! Why?!
  3103. >"NO!!" Fluttershy shrieks
  3104. >She smooshes her weeping face against your crotch, pressing your dick against her wet cheek
  3105. >"She can't take this away from me!" she screams, rubbing her cheek against your shaft
  3106. >Demon Twilight starts laughing
  3107. >Fluttershy's tears of sorrow start dripping down along your length
  3108. >Man, fuck this
  3109. Fine. If she wants my dick so bad, then she can have it!
  3110. >https://youtu.be/4Kw-iSq7XW0?t=2630
  3111. >Push Fluttershy off
  3112. >"Huh?" she says, picking herself up
  3113. >Demon Twilight leers at you as you approach
  3114. >"So you're finally admitting your defeat to me?"
  3115. Not exactly.
  3116. >She watches closely as you walk past her
  3117. >You face her rump and position yourself
  3118. >Then you grab her tail and pull her up against your waist
  3119. >"Wait, what are you doing?" Demon Twilight says
  3120. >You don't answer
  3121. >With your free hand, you cup her cold rump, your fingers digging into the grey flesh
  3122. >See the hair along her arched back stand up on end
  3123. >"Seriously, stop it," Demon Twilight says uneasily. "I command you to stop."
  3124. >Using your thumb, you spread open her musty oozing portal
  3125. >You gag; it smells like week-old rotisserie
  3126. >But you steel your nerves
  3127. >If your dick is going to be tortured by Spergle for the rest of its life, then you at least owe him this
  3128. >While holding her open, you grab the base of your dick and slowly push forward
  3129. >Time to steer this ship in
  3130. >"Man, he's going to do it," says Your Dick Face
  3131. >"He's going to do it!" the pumpkins shout
  3132. >"Ugh! He's going to do it," Pinkie says with a look of disgust
  3133. >"Don't do it!" Fluttershy screams as she's held back by the pumpkins. "Don't do it!"
  3134. >"Don't do it!" Demon Twilight screams, trying to shake her rump out of your way. "Don't do it!"
  3135. I've got to do it. I've got to do it!
  3136. >You press the head of your dick against her horse pussy
  3137. >Just then Rainbow Dash snorts and wakes herself up
  3138. >She lifts her head up, looks down the length of her body, and sees Twilight lying on top of her--with you mounting her
  3139. >She blinks for a moment
  3140. >"Uh, what are you doing?"
  3141. Trying to exercise Twilight with my dick.
  3142. >"Oh."
  3143. >She clears her throat
  3144. >"You know you've got the wrong hole, right?"
  3145. >Look down
  3146. >See you're pressed against Rainbow cunt
  3147. >Huh, you were wondering why it turned warm all of a sudden
  3148. >Wait, that dirty cunt was Dash's!
  3149. >Demon Twilight sighs
  3150. >"Okay, you know what, fuck this."
  3151. >There's an ear-piercing scream as Twilight's eyes fill with bright white light
  3152. >Beams of light fly out from every orifice in her body
  3153. >They're filled with great energy, knocking you backwards as the ground quakes and rumbles
  3154. >Then everything shudders to a halt
  3155. >The light fades; Twilight closes her eyes, her body going limp
  3156. >The enormous bodies of your pumpkin bros shrivel up back into the pumpkins, causing them to fall down and splatter on the ground
  3157. >All the zombies that were shambling in the graveyard, searching for candy, disintegrate into dust that's blown away by the wind
  3158. >You lie dazed and flat on your back
  3159. >Eventually you hear Fluttershy call your name
  3160. >She bears down on top of you, wrapping you in an embrace
  3161. >She looks down in your eyes
  3162. >"Are you okay? Did she hurt you?"
  3163. >Answer that you think you're okay
  3164. >"Good, good. How's your dick?"
  3165. >That's what she really wanted to know
  3166. >She reaches into your pants and, for the second time in under five minutes, pulls out your dick
  3167. >"It's good," she cries happily. "It's good, look at it."
  3168. >She turns to you, laughing and holding your dick
  3169. >You're so relieved that you even laugh along with her
  3170. >"Guys, a little help?" Pinkie says
  3171. >Look and see that she's struggling to undo Fluttershy's bondage
  3172. >"We should probably go help her," Fluttershy says
  3173. Yeah, you go do it.
  3174. >"Okay."
  3175. >She then proceeds not to move or get up off of you at all
  3176. >Or even let go of your dick
  3177. >Purse your lips
  3178. Fluttershy.
  3179. >She doesn't answer
  3180. >She's looking away from you, trying to pretend that everything is normal
  3181. Fluttershy!
  3182. >She scrunches her muzzle
  3183. >"Okay, I'll go."
  3184. >She doesn't
  3185. >Your dick is freezing
  3186. Now, Fluttershy.
  3187. >". . . Okay."
  3188. >But in a flash of her characteristic rape speed, she presses your dick against her nose
  3189. >"Boop!"
  3190. >When you finally do shoo her away she turns back for a moment and winks at you, smiling
  3191. >"Now you're mine again."
  3192. >You roll your eyes
  3193. >Stupid horse
  3194. >Lie back and try to enjoy the first free moment you've had in a while
  3195. >It's finally peaceful; even the music has stopped
  3196. >The night's still young, though
  3197. >No need to end things yet
  3198. >But where do you go from here?
  3199.  
  3200. what do?
  3201. ********
  3202. Should probably still head to Zecora's to see if Twilight's okay.
  3203. ********
  3204.  
  3205. >Open your eyes
  3206. >See something flying up in the sky
  3207. >It flies past the moon
  3208. >Silhouette makes it look like it's a pegasus pony
  3209. >He's wearing some kind of robe that's fluttering in the wind behind his trail
  3210. >Huh, you wonder what he's even doing out at this time
  3211. >Sit up
  3212. >Hear an "Eep!" when you do
  3213. >See Fluttershy is sat next to you, her hoof pressed against her chest, looking surprised
  3214. You were trying to grab my dick again, weren't you?
  3215. >"No . . . maybe."
  3216. >You look up to point out the pegasus pony to Fluttershy
  3217. >But whoever it was, they're gone now
  3218. >And you just took your eyes off of Fluttershy
  3219. >You instinctively place your hand over your crotch
  3220. >Hear another "Eep!"
  3221. >Fluttershy forces a smile
  3222. >Grimace
  3223. Alright, what do you want now?
  3224. >"I just thought you would want to know that Twilight's still alive."
  3225. Oh. Well, yeah, that's good news.
  3226. >"We can't wake her up though, so we're going to take her to Zecora's anyway."
  3227. >Man, there's just no getting away from Rhymin' Simon tonight
  3228. Yeah, I guess you're right.
  3229. >Stand up
  3230. We should probably take Dash to the hospital, too.
  3231. >"Oh, no, Dash is okay."
  3232. >What?
  3233. >Look back and see that Dash is awake
  3234. >And she's on top of Pinkie in the wagon, both of them making out, and with Twilight draped over them both like a warm blanket
  3235. >Twilight actually looks a lot better
  3236. >She's got her purple color back and everything
  3237. >It just kind of looks like she's sleeping
  3238. >She snores like a bear, too
  3239. >Just watching her is making you feel tired
  3240. >You take a moment to stretch your arms
  3241. Well, let's get this last stretch over with.
  3242. >Just then you see that pegasus pony up in the sky again
  3243. >He's coming at you from a distance
  3244. Hey, Fluttershy, you see that guy?
  3245. >She doesn't answer
  3246. >Turn to look at her
  3247. >With her ears flattened, and a terrified expression, she stares ahead at the pegasus
  3248. >There's a screaming across the sky as purple flames begin to engulf the pegasus, now swooping down at you both
  3249. >A pair of red eyes, with enlarged pupils surrounded by a black aura, come through the flames
  3250. >A huge purple horse demon lands before you, surrounded by flames
  3251. >You try to run but flaming skeleton arms rise up from the ground and grab your heels
  3252. >You can't move
  3253. >The demon glares at you with her devil eyes
  3254. >"I'm taking your dick back with me to Hell!"
  3255. >Midnight Sparkle roars and then leaps towards you
  3256. >Shit! You can't move out of the way!
  3257. >Just then Fluttershy jumps out in front of you
  3258. >She starts screaming like she's in a movie
  3259. >"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
  3260. >Dammit, she's going to get possessed if you don't throw her out of the way
  3261. >But getting your dick destroyed by Midnight tackling you doesn't sound all that great either
  3262.  
  3263. what do?
  3264. ********
  3265. Let Fluttershy take the hit. If she gets possessed it’ll just mean when she get taken to hell and out of your life.
  3266.  
  3267. I think Fluttershy would over power Midnight Sparkle and just end up being able to use Midnight powers or something like that.
  3268.  
  3269. FFFFFUCK! Your right. Throw the dick journal at her. She'll posses something full of what she loves, and as an inanimate object, she won't be a threat.
  3270.  
  3271. Seconding throwing the journal, Midnight's a wimp anyways so even if she doesn't posses it it'll probably still stop her charge.
  3272.  
  3273. this is a great idea and could not possibly go wrong, at all, in any situation. I third throwing the dick journal at the dick demon.
  3274. ********
  3275.  
  3276. >"Time to Die!" Midnight screams
  3277. >"No, he's mine! I won't let you hurt him!" Fluttershy screams at her
  3278. >They face each other down in a battle over your dick
  3279. >Okay, hold on a sec here
  3280. >If Midnight reaches you, then she's going to rip your dick off
  3281. >But if Fluttershy gets possessed by Midnight, you're still going to get your dick ripped off
  3282. >Or, even worse, she might finally succeed in her ultimate goal (>rape)
  3283. >So you're losing here either way
  3284. >Looks like you're going to have to save the day, as usual
  3285. >First, you'll have to get Flutters out of the way
  3286. >Can't go for a cunt punt with these arms on you, though
  3287. >So . . .
  3288. Fluttershy!
  3289. >She looks over her shoulder
  3290. Listen to me very carefully . . .
  3291. >Crouch down
  3292. >Then bring your fist straight up into her crotch with all your might
  3293. >"Eep!"
  3294. >She shoots up into the air, arcing over Midnight before somersaulting through the flames
  3295. >Yeah, that's your uppercunt!
  3296. Get the dick journal, Fluttershy!
  3297. >Man, she's your last hope
  3298. >Your dick is as good as dead
  3299. >See Ponk leap up over the flames
  3300. >The dick journal is in her mouth
  3301. >When she soars over your head she spits it out towards you
  3302. >Raise your hands towards the falling journal
  3303. >Okay, you may have been the biggest disgrace of your little league baseball team
  3304. >But for God's sake, you need to catch this!
  3305. >Once it's in range, your hands go for the journal
  3306. >It slips right through your fingers
  3307. >And the spine bounces off your forehead, so that the journal rebounds off of your face
  3308. >And lands right in your hands
  3309. Fuck yeah! Saved it! Way to go, wildcard!
  3310. >Pinkie beams
  3311. >"Woohoo! Wildcard!"
  3312. >She flies out of sight and you soon hear a loud thud, followed by several branches breaking
  3313. >You face Midnight, who has now halted
  3314. >Glare at her while holding the book forward
  3315. >She smirks
  3316. >"Is that your great defense, mortal? A lewd journal?"
  3317. Go ahead, come at me, bro!
  3318. >"I'm in no hurry."
  3319. But it's almost midnight.
  3320. >"I can destroy you at any time I like."
  3321. Not if you can't reach me.
  3322. >"And you think that book is stopping me?"
  3323. It did stop you.
  3324. >"No it didn't."
  3325. Pretty sure you're stopped right now.
  3326. >"I am, but it's just to mock you."
  3327. You're scared of this journal. Just admit it.
  3328. >"I am not scared of--"
  3329. >Pretend to toss it at her
  3330. >She flinches, then glares at you when she sees you're still holding it
  3331. You're pathetic.
  3332. >"No, you."
  3333. >She flares her wings, fanning the flames around her and sending embers swirling up into the night air
  3334. >She's going to charge at you again
  3335. >But this time you're ready
  3336. >The second her front hooves leave the ground, you throw the journal
  3337. >It goes flying like a frisbee right at her
  3338. >And it flies right over her head
  3339. >Midnight laughs
  3340. >"What was that?!"
  3341. >Yeah, your pitching was always worse than your catching
  3342. >Just then messy-maned Dash pokes her head through the flames
  3343. >She wipes her wet mouth with the back of her arm
  3344. >Yeah, you don't think her mane is a mess from the fire
  3345. >"Hey, where's Pinkie?"
  3346. >She sees the journal spinning towards her and her eyes go wide
  3347. >Please, please, catch it!
  3348. >She reaches out for it
  3349. >With her boxing gloves still on
  3350. >Goddamn it . . .
  3351. >She ends up smacking the book further up into the air
  3352. >Fucking Dash; guess she's only good for going fast, having an empty head, and being gay
  3353. >Midnight's razor-sharp teeth and evil eyes fill your vision
  3354. >Well, you're dead now, mostly by your own hand, but Dash helped, too
  3355. >Huh, you always thought you'd be saying that about Fluttershy
  3356. >And with that you start mentally reading your dick's last rights, whatever they may be
  3357. >But then, over Midnight's shoulder, Fluttershy flies up into the air
  3358. >She glares your way
  3359. >"Hey, Spergle!"
  3360. >Midnight stops, her eye twitching slightly
  3361. >She turns fiercely, but Fluttershy keeps a steeled face
  3362. >Fluttershy fixes her in a firm stare
  3363. >"You know that his dick belongs to me."
  3364. >Midnight chuckles lowly
  3365. >"Then I guess I'll just kill you first!"
  3366. >"You can't, not when I have this," Fluttershy says, presenting to her the journal
  3367. >And just then it slips out from her hooves
  3368. >"Oh dear . . ."
  3369. >Goddamn it . . .
  3370. >"An opening!" Midnight shouts
  3371. >She flies at Fluttershy
  3372. >Fluttershy then catches the falling journal in the curl of her bent tail
  3373. >Using her tail like a racket, she launches the journal right into Midnight's face
  3374. >Midnight puts on the brakes but soon realizes it's too late
  3375. >Hear her sigh
  3376. >"Oh dicks . . ."
  3377. >One of the journal's corners smacks her in the eye
  3378. >There's an all-pervading scream as Midnight's eyes fill with bright white light
  3379. >In the blink of an eye, the flames dissipate and Midnight is gone
  3380. >The journal falls to the ground
  3381. >Now free from spooky scary skeleton arms, you walk over and pick it up
  3382. >Flip to the last page
  3383. >There's an ink drawing of a furious Midnight there, much like the one in the Spooky Spells book, that only takes up a quarter of the page
  3384. >Fluttershy, Dash and Pinkie, who has twigs sticking out from her goopy mane, all gather around to look at the new drawing
  3385. >For a while nobody says anything
  3386. >Then, off to the side:
  3387. >"What in Equestria was all that?!"
  3388. >Oh, Twilight is awake now
  3389. >She's sitting up in the wagon and staring at all of you in amazement
  3390. >You smile
  3391. We just trapped a dick demon in your dick journal.
  3392. >Wave the journal her way
  3393. >It doesn't register with her at all; she's still in shock or something
  3394. >Eh, whatever
  3395. >Look back down at your little Spergle made of ink
  3396. What happened, Spergle? I thought you were strongest when around dicks?
  3397. >"Aw, don't tease her anymore," Fluttershy says. "She's actually, um, kind of cute like this."
  3398. >Just then the drawing of Spergle turns its head your way
  3399. >"Fools!"
  3400. >You jump and nearly drop the journal
  3401. >Spergle starts cackling
  3402. >"You've all just sealed your doom. I'm surrounded by dicks in here, and, once I get out, I'll summon them all to be a part of my dick army!"
  3403. >"Destroy it!" Fluttershy says, holding onto your arm. "Destroy it now!"
  3404. >"Wait, what?" Twilight says. "No, don't do that!"
  3405. Man, is this ever going to end?
  3406. >"Yes, it will end, with your deaths!" says Midnight
  3407. >She starts cackling
  3408. >It's really distracting you from thinking on what you should do next
  3409. >"And once I--"
  3410. >Slam the journal shut
  3411. >"Hey, open this lewd journal at once!" says a slightly-muffled Spergle. "Open it, and fear me!"
  3412. >Turn to the others
  3413. Okay, what's our next move?
  3414. >Then, from the distance, you hear the bell in the bell tower start to ring in a slow steady rhythm
  3415. >"What is that?" Spergle says. "I command you to open this journal and point me to the source of the noise."
  3416. >"That's the bell tower. . . ." Twilight says
  3417. >Fluttershy starts shaking
  3418. >"Oh dear."
  3419. What, what is it?
  3420. >"Well, come on," Dash scoffs at you. "What does it usually mean when the bell in the bell tower rings?"
  3421. >Are you seriously being condescended to by a brain-damaged idiot that's wearing boxing gloves?
  3422. >"It means it's midnight, silly," Pinkie says
  3423. >"Wait, it's midnight . . . ?" says Spergle
  3424. >There's a collective gasp as you and your party realize Midnight's implication
  3425. >"It's midnight. . . ." Spergle slowly repeats to herself
  3426. >"Oh no! Guys, do you know what this means?" Pinkie says
  3427. >You all share grim looks with each other
  3428. >"It's midnight," Spergle says. ". . . And I'm stuck in this stupid journal!"
  3429. >Pinkie jumps onto you, grabs your shoulders and starts shaking you
  3430. >"This means that Nightmare Night is over already!" Pinkie shouts into your face
  3431. >You immediately push her off, thanks to the anti-rape conditioning you've developed from having to deal with years of Fluttershy's shenanigans
  3432. >But then the realization of what Pinkie just said crushes you
  3433. >And you stand there, staring off into space
  3434. Halloween is over. . . .
  3435. >Fluttershy comes over and pats your thigh, offering you sympathetic eyes
  3436. It's really over. Man, that sucks.
  3437.  
  3438. what do?
  3439. ********
  3440. Well something should probably be done about the journal, but destroying it could end up letting Spergle out.
  3441. Maybe Twilight has an idea?
  3442. ********
  3443.  
  3444. >"Open this journal!" Spergle screams
  3445. >"Here, let me see that," Twilight says, levitating the journal out of your hands
  3446. >She opens the journal, and immediately screams
  3447. >"What do you think you're doing to my drawings?"
  3448. >You all gather around Twilight
  3449. >See that Midnight has indeed brought Twilight's dick drawings to life
  3450. >Only they're all dancing in a circle around her, instead of, you know, coming alive and killing you all
  3451. >Pinkie wipes away a tear
  3452. >"She's a born animator. Who's to know of the worlds she'll go on to create?"
  3453. >Towering over them all is Midnight Sparkle and she is dancing
  3454. >She says that she will never die, which doesn't make much sense because she's a demon
  3455. >When Midnight starts whipping the dicks with her tail, Twilight sighs and closes the journal
  3456. >"Well, I'm going to have to get a new journal now."
  3457. >"Are you kidding?!" Pinkie screams. "Anything you draw can literally come to life now. You're like a dick god!"
  3458. >"Can we really just leave her in there?" Dash says
  3459. >"I think so," Fluttershy says. "I mean, she seems happy."
  3460. >Demonic cackling comes from the journal as Midnight screams about the dicks all bowing down to her
  3461. >Twilight rolls her eyes, then casts a spell which envelops the book entirely in a purple orb, making it soundproof
  3462. >"Plus, I don't think she can get out," Twilight says. "She was supposed to entirely take over whatever she had possession of by midnight."
  3463. >White cream-like goo starts oozing out from the pages of the journal
  3464. >Twilight grimaces
  3465. >"And why that had to be my journal, I don't know."
  3466. >"It's a Nightmare Night miracle!" Pinkie cheers
  3467. >Yeah, a real miracle
  3468. >Stupid spergy bitch took up your entire Halloween
  3469. Yeah, well, Twilight, if you ever want to burn the journal, just call on me.
  3470. >You yawn and head over to your wagon
  3471. >Flip the tape in your Walkman and press play
  3472. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndAF6gI-GYQ
  3473. >Man, this just sounds like random noise now
  3474. >Fuck it
  3475. Been a long fucking night. I'm out of here.
  3476. >"Wait, where are you going?" Fluttershy says
  3477. Home, and hopefully without you. My place is kind of a mess right now.
  3478. >Twilight nods, smiling smugly
  3479. >You go to the gate
  3480. >It's fucking locked
  3481. >Figures
  3482.  
  3483. what do?
  3484. ********
  3485. Maybe that corn maze is still operational?
  3486.  
  3487. Second this, can't believe i forgot about the corn maze
  3488.  
  3489. hop the fence, only lame kids respect locks
  3490. ********
  3491.  
  3492. >Everyone examines the gate
  3493. >Twilight levitates the Spooky Spells book by her head
  3494. >"Perhaps we can summon some kind of skeleton key to help us out."
  3495. >"Or maybe we can shoot the lock off with the gun," Pinkie says
  3496. >"I'll bet we can pick the lock with the tip of your tail," Dash says to Pinkie
  3497. >"That's not all we could do with it, either," Pinkie says, raising her eyebrows towards Dash
  3498. >"Haven't you had enough yet?" Dash asks her ironically
  3499. >"I can never get enough."
  3500. >Pinkie sidles up to Dash's side and Dash, using her wing, wraps her in a tight embrace
  3501. >"You know, I'd like to ram you right through that gate," Pinkie says, giggling
  3502. >"I'd like to see you try," Dash says, pushing her forehead against Pinkie's
  3503. >Watching this causes Twilight to drop her jaw for a second time in under five minutes
  3504. >"When did all this start?!" she says, gesturing at the intimate couple and turning towards you
  3505. >You don't answer her
  3506. >You're rubbing your eyes, trying to stay awake
  3507. >Fluttershy is stroking your thigh and looking up at you
  3508. Whatever. I'm done.
  3509. >"What do you mean?" Pinkie says, now separated from Dash and pretending like nothing had happened
  3510. >"You can't just stop," Dash says to you. "We were supposed to go to Zecora's."
  3511. >"Weren't you two just . . . ?" Twilight says, limply pointing at Dash and Pinkie
  3512. You all can go if you want to, but I'm not. I'm going home.
  3513. >You start gathering everything up in your wagon
  3514. >"But what about the rest of our adventure?" Pinkie says. "We still have to see the Scarecrow Fillies, and find the serial killer."
  3515. >"Wait, there's a serial killer?!" Twilight says, her eyes widening
  3516. >Dash ignores her and says to you:
  3517. >"You can't just up and quit on us like this."
  3518. Well you can try to stop me Mark Wahlberg, but it's still happening.
  3519. >Now packed, you grab the handle of the wagon and start pulling it down the road
  3520. And don't follow me back.
  3521. >They wait for a bit, all of them turning to each other for a moment
  3522. >"What about a nightcap?" Fluttershy asks
  3523. >You stop
  3524. >Slowly look over your shoulder
  3525. You fucking what, mate?
  3526. >"It's just, um, how can you say the night is over without having a nightcap?" Fluttershy says
  3527. >"Yeah, she's right, dude," Dash says. "You can't end a night like this without a nightcap--especially after an adventure like that!"
  3528. >It was an all right Halloween adventure
  3529. >The night has been a mess for all involved
  3530. >Twilight's got singed hair all over her body, her ass has a huge set of teeth marks on it, and her face is all cut up
  3531. >With all the twigs and orange pumpkin goo in her mane Pinkie looks like some kind of decorative autumn ornament
  3532. >The blood in Dash's ear dried up but you still catch her brushing dried zombie guts out from her mane at times
  3533. >And yes, she does keep her boxing gloves on while trying to brush
  3534. >And Fluttershy, good ol' Butterhorse, well, she's completely covered in dried blood, like some kind of polite Carrie
  3535. >As for those plastic fangs, you haven't seen 'em in a while
  3536. >You're pretty sure she ended up swallowing them when she saved your dick from Spergle for the first time
  3537. >Yeah, you think all that deserves a nightcap
  3538. >But there's a problem
  3539. And just where are we going to get the booze needed for a nightcap right now?
  3540. >Pinkie pulls an ear of corn out from her mane and throws it at you
  3541. >"Catch!"
  3542. >It hits you in the face
  3543. >But the message is clear
  3544. >Especially to Dash, who's pumping her boxing gloves in the air and chanting out:
  3545. >"Cider! Cider! Cider!"
  3546. >Pinkie smiles as she watches her
  3547. >"Yep, gotta have that nightcap," Pinkie says to you. "After everything that's happened, it's the one thing that really helps tie everything together."
  3548. >"Is anyone going to say anything more about the serial killer?!" Twilight says
  3549. Yeah, you're right.
  3550. >"Finally," Twilight says. "I'm glad one of you is listen--"
  3551. We gotta have that nightcap.
  3552. >Everyone cheers
  3553. >Twilight doesn't say anything
  3554. >She simply levitates the Hefty trash bag over to her face, then screams into it until she becomes the new world record holder for longest scream
  3555. >You ignore it and head back to the gate
  3556. Let's get that cider, kids.
  3557. >Gate doesn't open
  3558. >"It's, um, still locked," Fluttershy says
  3559. Thank you, obvious banana.
  3560. >You stand back, then clap both your hands together
  3561. Right, I'll just jump this sucker.
  3562. >"That gate is, like, seven feet tall," Twilight says
  3563. And it's weird that you even use feet as a unit of measurement, what's your point?
  3564. >Turn to look at her
  3565. I can jump this gate.
  3566. >"You cannot jump that gate."
  3567. I'm'ma jump that gate!
  3568. >You take ten paces back, then get a running start at the gate
  3569. Zoomed Words!
  3570. >Your feet leave the ground
  3571. >You're literally flying
  3572. >Everything that was before you, the gate and the town, all changes in the blink of an eye
  3573. >And the ground you land back on is not the neat lawns of the cemetery but the hard brown earth of Sweet Apple Acres
  3574. >Over your shoulder, in the distance, you can hear the wind rustling through the hundreds of branches in the apple orchards
  3575. >There's also music playing from somewhere
  3576. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37avLRywxGQ
  3577. >Before you is the entrance to the corn maze, which is lit by two torches that sit on either side
  3578. >What also sits on one side is Applejack, who's dressed in a long black robe, her head resting on her shoulder and her hat sitting down over her eyes
  3579. >Beneath her hat is a white wig with long thick curls, which flow down her shoulders, and in her lap lies a red wooden gavel
  3580. >Though her face is covered, you can see in the firelight the drool that drips down her chin and onto her belly, which expands and deflates with each of her barnyard snores
  3581. >You stand up and wipe the dust off of your pants
  3582. Man, I knew I could jump the gate, but did I seriously jump all the way to Sweet Apple Acres, too?
  3583. >Feel a tap on your thigh
  3584. >"I don't think that's right," Fluttershy says
  3585. >She gestures behind her to the rest of your party, who are all picking themselves up off the ground
  3586. >Even your wagon is there
  3587. >Though everything that was packed in it is spread out all over the ground around it
  3588. >"I think we were teleported," Twilight says while rubbing her hoof against her right temple
  3589. I think I would know if I was teleported.
  3590. >"No, we were," Fluttershy says
  3591. >Everyone else nods
  3592. >"I don't see why you would know," Twilight says
  3593. >"Yeah, it's not like you can use magic," Dash says
  3594. That's racist.
  3595. >"It is not!" Dash says
  3596. >You go to roll your eyes
  3597. >And just then you see that hooded pegasus up in the sky again, flying against the moon
  3598. >You go to say something
  3599. >"Every pony, look!" Pinkie says
  3600. >Turn around
  3601. >See that she's standing next to Applejack, a mischievous smile on her face
  3602. >"Applejack is still sleeping," Pinkie says
  3603. >"She must be out like a light," Dash says, chuckling
  3604. >Dash flies over and starts poking Applejack in the side
  3605. >Besides snorting a bit between snores, Applejack doesn't budge
  3606. >Pinkie starts giggling and, like an infection, it spreads through the rest of your party
  3607. >Judging by their smiles, everyone is game when Pinkie says to you all:
  3608. >"Any pony have any ideas on how we should wake up Judge Jackie?"
  3609. >"Hang on," Twilight says, suddenly getting a grip. "We were just teleported here. That's concerning."
  3610. >"Oh dear," Fluttershy says, folding her ears
  3611. >"Can't we figure that out later, though?" Dash says
  3612. >"It's not like we were hurt," Pinkie says
  3613. >"And besides"--she gestures to Applejack--"this is literally a gift from the prank gods we have here right now."
  3614. As usual, it comes to me to make a decision.
  3615.  
  3616. what do?
  3617. ********
  3618. Something apple related would probably wake AJ up, not a good idea to let her sleep outside when there's a serial killer on the loose.
  3619. ********
  3620.  
  3621. Okay, let's wake up the judge.
  3622. >Pinkie starts giving you puppy dog eyes and whining
  3623. >Sigh
  3624. You can do this in a funny way, if you so wish.
  3625. >"Woohoo!"
  3626. >Pinkie and Dash run off to the wagon
  3627. Just make sure it involves apples somehow.
  3628. >"Why apples?" Twilight asks
  3629. It's the only way we can be sure she'll wake up.
  3630. >"And she likes apples," Fluttershy says
  3631. Right. And she likes apples.
  3632. >Just then there's an otherworldly screaming noise that grates in the ears of everyone
  3633. >It's coming from the wagon, where Pinkie and Dash are the only ones that aren't covering their ears
  3634. Goddammit, did you assholes turn Metal Machine Music back on?
  3635. >"It's not that," Dash says, turning around with a pinched face. "Pinkie opened the journal."
  3636. >"Tattletale!"
  3637. >"What?!" Twilight screams above the racket
  3638. >Look and see Pinkie is reaching inside the purple orb
  3639. >The light bends around her hoof and creates an opening for the horrific sounds inside to escape
  3640. >You can hear Midnight chanting:
  3641. >"All you need is dicks!"
  3642. >There's a short trumpet refrain after each of her phrases
  3643. Hey, you leave the Beatles alone!
  3644. >"The fact that--"
  3645. >Pinkie pulls her hoof out back before Midnight can go any further
  3646. >Twilight stomps over to the wagon
  3647. >"Pinkie, do you want to tell me why you just endangered all of our lives just then?"
  3648. >Pinkie folds her ears and smiles sheepishly
  3649. >"I needed to borrow your marker," she says, holding the black marker up for all to see
  3650. >Twilight's eyes twitches involuntarily
  3651. >"You what, mate?!"
  3652. Aw, don't start copying me now.
  3653. >"Sweet, you got it," Dash says, seeing the marker
  3654. >Pinkie and Dash trot over to Applejack
  3655. >Flying above her head, Dash pulls Applejack's hat off before holding her head steady for Pinkie
  3656. >Pinkie uncaps the marker and starts writing on Applejack's forehead, her and Dash both giggling
  3657. >"Alright, it's done," Pinkie says
  3658. >You go over and look at the writing on Applejack's forehead
  3659. >'!MUD ERA SELPPA'
  3660. . . . What's that supposed to say?
  3661. >Dash turns on Pinkie
  3662. >"Why the hay did you write it backwards?"
  3663. >You turn your head sideways and read it again
  3664. >'APPLES ARE DUM!'
  3665. >You smirk
  3666. That's pretty good.
  3667. >"No it isn't," Dash groans. "Why'd you write it like that, Pinkie?"
  3668. >"This way she'll be able to read it when she looks in the mirror," Pinkie says. "I didn't think she'd get it otherwise, and I don't want any pony feeling left out."
  3669. >"But now no pony else can read it," Dash says
  3670. >"I can read it," Pinkie says
  3671. So can I.
  3672. >And Fluttershy could probably read it if she wasn't taking this opportunity to try and slip her hoof into your pants
  3673. >Slap her hoof away
  3674. >"Ouch."
  3675. >She retracts it
  3676. >"Why is dumb spelled without the b?" Twilight says
  3677. >"Wait, what?" Dash says
  3678. >She looks again
  3679. >"Are you kidding me?! It is spelled wrong!"
  3680. >"I ran out of room," Pinkie says, shrugging
  3681. >"No you didn't," Dash says. "I mean you put that . . . that thing there . . . What is it?!"
  3682. >"An exclamation point," Twilight says
  3683. >"Yeah! You put that thing there," Dash says
  3684. >"I did that to make sure I made a statement," Pinkie says
  3685. >Dash starts pouting
  3686. >Fluttershy approaches her and starts patting her shoulder
  3687. >"It still looks funny, at least," Fluttershy says
  3688. >"I hate it."
  3689. >"Pinkie tried her best. You have to understand that she's an artistic type."
  3690. >"It's supposed to say 'apples are dumb'."
  3691. >Hear Applejack snort in her sleep again
  3692. >"WHAT?!?!"
  3693. >You turn just in time to see her falling forward out of her chair
  3694. >She lifts her head up out from the dirt, eyeing you all intensly
  3695. >"Who said apples are dumb?"
  3696. >She's glaring and scrunching
  3697. >But she just looks so dumb with that writing on her face
  3698. >You start snickering
  3699. >She blinks, and then takes a second look at your party
  3700. >She gasps
  3701. >"Just what in the hay happened to you all?"
  3702. >You all look each other over
  3703. It's a long story.
  3704. >"Well tell it," Applejack says, getting up. "Forget the cats, you guys look like something the rats dragged in.
  3705. >"Let's go inside and get you all cleaned up. Make sure to gather your things."
  3706. >"We appreciate it, Applejack," Twilight says
  3707. You've got cider in there, right?
  3708. >"Asking the important questions there," Dash says, nudging your arm with her elbow
  3709. >"Cider?" Applejack says. "Actually, I haven't got any with me."
  3710. Seriously? Man, I teleported us here and everything.
  3711. >"Uh-huh," Applejack says slowly, raising an eyebrow your way. "Well, don't get all saddle sore about it."
  3712. >"But you're out of cider," Dash says. "That's like being out of love."
  3713. >"Kind of a mushy analogy there," Applejack says
  3714. >"I don't even care," Dash says. "The cider is worth the emotions."
  3715. >"I don't got any cider in the house, but there are a couple barrels of it that we took out of the barn."
  3716. >"Why didn't you say so sooner?" Dash says
  3717. >"Cause when we ran out of empty barrels, we started using the cider barrels as markers in the corn maze."
  3718. >She points towards the entrance of the corn maze
  3719. >To your amazement, now that you're really looking at the maze, it looks twice as big as that last stretch in the fucking cemetery
  3720. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNUBqrZ765I
  3721. >"They're in their somewhere," Applejack says
  3722. You seriously don't remember where one is?
  3723. >"We put them out there hours ago, and it's a big maze."
  3724.  
  3725. what do?
  3726. ********
  3727. Start eating the corn to find the cider
  3728. ********
  3729.  
  3730. Then we need to approach this situation logically.
  3731. >Approach the maze
  3732. >Reach into the stalks and pull out an ear of corn
  3733. It's obvious what must be done.
  3734. >Turn around and start husking the corn before everyone
  3735. We need to eat the corn.
  3736. >Everyone looks at you like you're crazy
  3737. >You bite into the cold hard kernels
  3738. We're going to eat this corn until we find the cider.
  3739. >"That don't make a lick of sense," Applejack says
  3740. Sure it does.
  3741. >"Actually, it doesn't," Twilight says
  3742. I could tell you why it actually does, but I need my mouth for corn.
  3743. >You grab another ear
  3744. >Throw it at Fluttershy's face
  3745. Fluttershy, eat that corn.
  3746. >"Oh, um . . . okay," she says, rubbing her cheek
  3747. >While she husks and then eats the corn, you grab another ear and throw it at Dash
  3748. Eat the corn, dummy.
  3749. >"I'm not going to--"
  3750. Do you want cider or not?
  3751. >"I'm eating it!" she says
  3752. >She barely tears half of the husk off before biting into the corn
  3753. >"Okay, hold on," Applejack says. "I don't mind if you guys want a snack, but you can't be eating my corn like this."
  3754. >Pinkie pull out an ear of corn and starts husking it
  3755. >"Pinkie, what are you doing?" Applejack says
  3756. >"Every pony else was already doing it," she says, shrugging, her mouth full of corn
  3757. >Applejack glares at you
  3758. >"Now see what you've started?"
  3759. >Grab another ear
  3760. Here, eat this corn.
  3761. >"I ain't eating that."
  3762. Why not? It's your's, corn pone.
  3763. >You take another bite of corn
  3764. Look, my idea, it's actually really simple.
  3765. >"This'll be good," Twilight says
  3766. We need to find the cider that's in this maze, right?
  3767. >"Yeah," Applejack says
  3768. And this is a corn maze, right?
  3769. >"Yeah. Stop asking me if it's right, I know all this."
  3770. So this is a maze, and it's made of maize, thus if we needed to find something in the maze of maize, then we should eat the maize that the maze is made of so that we know where in the maize of maze our cider lays.
  3771. >"Lies, is what you mean to say," Twilight says
  3772. >"It sounds like a load of hay, either way," Applejack says
  3773. Hi, Billy Mays here!
  3774. >"What?"
  3775. >"Come again?"
  3776. Just eat the damn corn.
  3777. >"I won't do it," Applejack says
  3778. >"Me neither," Twilight says
  3779. >Just then her purple tummy growls
  3780. >She folds her ears as you wave the ear of corn in her face
  3781. >Applejack sighs
  3782. >"Go ahead and eat it."
  3783. >"I'll just have this one," Twilight says as she husks the corn in one swipe
  3784. >The rings around Applejack's eyes darken as everyone around her chews on her corn
  3785. >She licks her lips
  3786. >Then groans
  3787. >"Now I'm wanting some!"
  3788. >Throw an ear at her face
  3789. >She husks it and takes a bite
  3790. >She glares at you while chewing
  3791. >"Damn you."
  3792. You'll thank me when we find the cider.
  3793. >Applejack stops chewing
  3794. >"Wait, I think I remember where one of the barrels is at now."
  3795. >While she grabs a wooden cart from the barn, you load the wagon back up
  3796. >With her pulling the cart and you the wagon, the six of you walk along the left wall of the maze
  3797. >It takes so long that you lose track of time when you eventually round the corner
  3798. >"How much longer is this going to take?" Dash says
  3799. >What you see before you then is a wall of corn about an acre long
  3800. >Dash groans and starts slouching in midair
  3801. >On the other side of the corn wall is a pumpkin patch
  3802. >You start counting the rows as you walk along behind Applejack
  3803. >You get to around twenty-four before you stop, though it would've funnier if it had been twenty-five
  3804. >Eventually Applejack points out a scarecrow that's in the pumpkin patch
  3805. >Then she turns towards the corn wall
  3806. >"Okay, the cider barrel should be on the other side of this wall."
  3807. You sure?
  3808. >"That's what I remember."
  3809. >She thinks back
  3810. >"I was taking a break after bringing the barrel in. I ate some corn, and I saw that scarecrow when I came out through the wall."
  3811. >Dash flies over the wall and Applejack pushes her way in through the corn
  3812. >After a while Dash flies up over the corn and waves at your party
  3813. >"We found it. The barrel is number forty-five."
  3814. >Applejack numbered all the barrels, one through one-hundred, so that no one in the maze would get totally lost
  3815. >Unfortunately the barrel was too thick to bring it through the corn
  3816. >So with Pinkie now pulling the cart, the four of you head back to the entrance
  3817. >Using Dash as a marker and Fluttershy as your scout, you begin to make your way through the corn maze
  3818. >At the first turn you see barrel number one in the corner
  3819. >You continue through the labyrinthian maze, counting the barrels along the way:
  3820. >Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, eighty-nine--
  3821. >You all stare at barrel eighty-nine
  3822. Starting to think these aren't in the same order Applejack originally placed them.
  3823. >"Um, I found something. . . ." Fluttershy says
  3824. >See she's holding a gold helmet
  3825. >Great
  3826. >Looks like that other guard ended up getting it too
  3827. See where we are, Fluttershy.
  3828. >She flies up and looks in one direction
  3829. >Then another
  3830. >Then she squints her eyes in that direction
  3831. >"Oh, there she is."
  3832. Yes, and she's in the direction we're supposed to be headed in, I presume.
  3833. Whatever. Let's just keep going.
  3834. >You reach the next barrel: twenty-two
  3835. Okay, we should probably stop.
  3836. >Lean on the barrel and think
  3837. >From around the bend before you see Dash and Applejack coming
  3838. >They both stop and stare at you
  3839. >You blink
  3840. >"There you guys are!" Dash says
  3841. What the fuck . . . ?
  3842. >"Come on," Dash says. "It's just around the corner."
  3843. >"Does that say twenty-two?" Applejack says, looking at the barrel. "How in the hay did these barrels get so mixed up?"
  3844. >Dash and Applejack go back around the bend
  3845. >Okay, you're confused
  3846. >Applejack sticks her head out from around the corner
  3847. >"You coming or what?"
  3848.  
  3849. what do?
  3850. ********
  3851. Investigate the scarecrow.
  3852. ********
  3853.  
  3854. >You share uncomfortable looks with your group before you all slowly make your way around the bend
  3855. >There, standing next to a closed barrel, were Applejack and Rainbow Dash
  3856. >"Huh, you guys were quick," Dash says
  3857. >"Really thought it would take you longer to make it this far in the maze," Applejack says
  3858. Yeah, so did I.
  3859. >"What's that mean?" Applejack says
  3860. >"He means that we weren't expecting to meet up with you two so quickly," Twilight says. "One minute you two were all the way on the other side of the maze, the next you're coming around the corner."
  3861. Maybe this is because of the corn.
  3862. >"Not this time," Twilight says. "I think we were teleported again."
  3863. >"Wait, you mean you really were teleported here?" Applejack says
  3864. >"Yes, and the strange thing is that it came out of nowhere. I didn't do it, but someone did."
  3865. >You smirk and raise your eyebrows at Applejack
  3866. >She gives you a curious look
  3867. >"No, it wasn't by him," Twilight says, frowning. "You stop that."
  3868. No, you.
  3869. >"If it ain't him then who is it?" Applejack says
  3870. >Twilight sighs in defeat, despite her serious expression
  3871. >"I don't know," she says grimly
  3872. >"Maybe some pony is following us," Fluttershy says, clinging to your leg and trembling
  3873. Well I have seen this pegasus in the sky a few times.
  3874. >Everyone turns your way, one of them doing so with purple indignance
  3875. >"What?" Twilight says slowly through clenched teeth
  3876. >"Who is it?" Dash says
  3877. I don't know.
  3878. >"So it's a mystery pony," Pinkie says, humming shrewdly to herself
  3879. >"What was he doing?" Dash says
  3880. Just flying.
  3881. >"What's this pegasus look like?" Applejack says
  3882. Don't know that either. He was really high up, and wearing this really long robe.
  3883. >"So you've seen this pony following us," Twilight says, "and you didn't say anything because . . . ?"
  3884. I don't know. It just never came up.
  3885. >"Really? It never came up, on a night like this?" she says incredulously
  3886. The first time, it was right after we trapped that dick demon in your dick journal.
  3887. >Applejack frowns, wrinkling her nose
  3888. >Twilight blushes and avoids her friend's cautiously-curious eyes
  3889. >"He trapped the what in your what now?"
  3890. >"Fluttershy trapped it," she says
  3891. >Then quickly adds:
  3892. >"And it's not important!"
  3893. It's really not. There's a purple orb in the wagon. Just don't touch it.
  3894. >"Can do, I guess," Applejack says slowly
  3895. >"So where do you think this pony of your's is now?" Fluttershy asks you
  3896. >Gee, you thought Fluttershy would be the expert to ask on the topic of ponies who stalk you
  3897. >But if you're the expert now . . .
  3898. He's probably the scarecrow.
  3899. >"You mean he's hiding behind my scarecrow?" Applejack says
  3900. No, I mean he is the scarecrow.
  3901. >"I thought he was a pegasus, though," Pinkie says
  3902. Right. But he turned himself into a scarecrow so he could stay hidden.
  3903. >"Yeah, hidden from the one person who sees him twice but doesn't say anything each time," Twilight says
  3904. Bet you would've noticed him if his dick was flopping out.
  3905. >"And just why is this pony now a scarecrow?" Twilight says, rolling her eyes. "Let's hear more of your fantastic corn logic."
  3906. The last two times I saw him he was in the sky. I figure this time he'd want to stay low too the ground to mix things up.
  3907. >There's silence after this
  3908. >Pinkie nods
  3909. >"Wow," she says. "That makes no sense at all."
  3910. >"You're telling me," Applejack says. "I remember when that scarecrow was just a few ripped up sacks and an old stinky coat of Big Mac's."
  3911. I'm telling you guys, it's the scarecrow.
  3912. >"It's not the scarecrow," Twilight says
  3913. It is the scarecrow.
  3914. >"Um, no, it probably isn't," Fluttershy says, tugging down at the bottom of your shirt
  3915. Yes it is--and get off of me!
  3916. >Kick her off
  3917. >You swear you need to start slicking up your body with oil whenever she's around, kill her grip a bit
  3918. >Then again you know from experience that Fluttershy and body oil is a bad combo
  3919. >Now that she's off of you, though, you head for the wall of corn that leads out
  3920. Whatever. I'm going to investigate that scarecrow.
  3921. >A dull brown blur fills your vision
  3922. >Something big and heavy lands at your feet, the thud echoing up your legs
  3923. >You jump back, then look down at the heap before you
  3924. >It's the scarecrow, landed on its back and looking up at you with blue and yellow button eyes
  3925. >Everyone gathers behind you and peers down at the scarecrow
  3926. I told you guys it was the scarecrow.
  3927. >The scarecrow's chest bursts open
  3928. >Out from the cloud of dust and flying straw comes a hooded pony
  3929. >"Huzzah!"
  3930. >She knocks you all backwards, then stands proudly over everyone
  3931. >The hoof flies back and reveals the excited eyes and smile of Princess Luna
  3932. >"It's me, everyone!"
  3933. Aw, son of a bitch.
  3934. >"What?!" Twilight screams
  3935. >"It's me, everyone!" Princess Luna says. "It was me all along, everyone!"
  3936. >She continues to smile proudly as the lingering dust tickles her twitchy nose
  3937. >At your left is one of the guards from earlier, standing in plain sight outside a wall of corn, but with one ear of corn held out in front of his face
  3938. >He quickly tosses the corn aside
  3939. >"And I was hiding here the whole time, too!"
  3940. >How the fuck did you not see him earlier?
  3941. >"Yes," Luna says. "We've been following you until you had enough in your party to participate."
  3942. >You hate to ask this, especially when she has that look in her eye (you call it the Fluttershy look)
  3943. Participate in what?
  3944. >"In the orgy set up by Princess Twilight!" Princess Luna says
  3945. >Twilight's jaw drops
  3946. >"Set up by who now?" she says
  3947. >"Twilight, you didn't do what she's saying you did, right?" Applejack says
  3948. >Twilight purses her lips
  3949. >"Twilight?!"
  3950. >"I might've."
  3951. Remember that dick demon we mentioned earlier? She was possessed by it.
  3952. >"You were what?!" Applejack says
  3953. But don't worry, this orgy thing was my idea.
  3954. >"Oh, that's a surprise," Twilight says sarcastically
  3955. Hey, it was necessary.
  3956. >"It, um, actually was," Fluttershy says
  3957. >The endorsement from the known rapist does not help your case with Twilight
  3958. >"I'm afraid I must stop your bantering," Princess Luna says. "Please, save it for the pillow talk afterwards."
  3959. >"There ain't going to be no orgy," Applejack says. "Not in my corn maze."
  3960. >"Then where shall it commence?" Princess Luna says
  3961. Honestly, probably nowhere. See, I can explain about this orgy thing.
  3962. >Luna's smile withers
  3963. >See the guard swallow nervously
  3964. >"What's there to explain?" Princess Luna says slowly. "Either the royal orgy shall commence, or else you face the full punishment for having deceived a princess in matters of royal importance."
  3965. >She starts Royal Canterlot Voicing you
  3966. >"AND ORGIES ARE TAKEN VERY SERIOUSLY IN CANTERLOT HIGH COURT!!!!!"
  3967. >Oh, right
  3968. >This is the crazy princess
  3969. >Shit
  3970.  
  3971. what do?
  3972. ********
  3973. She can probably be convinced it's not a Royal Orgy unless Celestia's there, so that could buy some time at least.
  3974.  
  3975. First ask what the punishment for 'deceiving a princess in matters of royal importance' is. It might not even be that bad.
  3976.  
  3977. If it is that bad, than kindly inform the night Princess that the orgy will be taking place inside the dick journal. She can probably get everyone inside and there's already plenty of animated dicks and even a dick demon!
  3978.  
  3979. With some luck you'll be left out of this.
  3980.  
  3981. Ask Luna if she wants some corn
  3982. ********
  3983.  
  3984. And just what punishment would be fit for my crimes?
  3985. >"For your deception, you would owe a debt to both myself and my kingdom that would need to be repaid."
  3986. How much we talking here?
  3987. >"Not a fine, but rather a service."
  3988. Okay, so community service?
  3989. >"What?"
  3990. You know, picking up trash and the like.
  3991. >Her face pinches in disgust
  3992. >"You dare suggest that my beautiful kingdom has been tarnished by litter?!"
  3993. >Man, she's doing that yelling thing again
  3994. I don't know, there has to be some.
  3995. >"There are already ponies responsible for ensuring that such litter does not remain long. How dare you suggest that they are not doing their jobs."
  3996. Okay, fine, what would I have to do for my community service then?
  3997. >"Isn't it obvious? Any task that I deem important."
  3998. >Man, she's got that (Fluttershy) look again
  3999. >You're almost afraid to ask
  4000. And just what task would that--
  4001. >"ORGY!!!!"
  4002. >Of course it would be
  4003. >Looks like you're going to have to get yourself out of another one here
  4004. >So maybe she's crazy
  4005. >But you've had experience dealing with crazy
  4006. >Crazy is nuzzling your leg right now
  4007. Do I even have to say anything, Fluttershy?
  4008. >"Sorry. . . ."
  4009. >She doesn't let go
  4010. >The point is that maybe you can talk your way out of this
  4011. >Sort of like you did with those guards earlier
  4012. >You poke Fluttershy in the eye and then stand up
  4013. >Approach the surly princess
  4014. Forgive us for taking up your time, princess, but . . .
  4015. >Silence follows
  4016. >Luna glares
  4017. >"But WHAT?!?!"
  4018. >Your hair blows back
  4019. >Yeah, nothing's coming to you
  4020. >Grab an ear of corn and shove it under her wrinkled nose
  4021. Would princess care for an ear of corn?
  4022. >She regards it for a moment, then lights up her horn
  4023. >The corn explodes in your hand
  4024. >Popped corn flies up into the air like confetti
  4025. >Pinkie looks up at it and squeals in delight
  4026. >"That was amazing!" Pinkie says
  4027. >Applejack simply folds her ears as she watches the corn fall
  4028. >"You have wasted enough of my time," Luna says. "The time for talk has ended, and the time for greasing our glorious backsides has yet to begun."
  4029. >Man, you haven't heard someone talk like that since Sperlge--
  4030. >Wait, that's it!
  4031. We have a magic dick journal!
  4032. >Luna scrunches her muzzle
  4033. >"What?"
  4034. >Twilight, while giving you a death glare, forces herself to laugh
  4035. >"I don't think Princess Luna wants to hear about our journal that we totally found for the first time ever tonight."
  4036. >"Ah, yes, you're speaking of Twilight Sparkle's lewd gallery of penises," Princess Luna says to you
  4037. >Twilight's face turns completely red, which she tries to cover with her arms
  4038. We'll give it to you, her magic dick journal, in exchange for keeping our orgy virginities.
  4039. >"Hey, wait," Twilight says, "you can't just give away my journal."
  4040. >"Indeed, you cannot," Princess Luna says. "For I have already taken the liberty to send it to Tartarus for safekeeping."
  4041. >"Oh, well, that's a relief--you did what?!" Twilight says
  4042. >She scrambles to the wagon and begins tossing things over her shoulder, frantically searching
  4043. >While she does this, Luna says:
  4044. >"The magical barrier that contained Midnight Sparkle was simply too weak to continue holding her, and I couldn't risk having her escape again."
  4045. >Once the wagon is empty, Twilight picks it up and looks under it for a brief moment
  4046. >Then she starts screaming and slamming the wagon against the ground
  4047. >You all slowly turn your backs to her
  4048. >And come face to face with a still-impatient Princess Luna
  4049. >"Do I even have to say anything by now?" she says to you. "I swear this is the silliest orgy I've ever been to."
  4050. >"Meh, could be sillier," Pinkie says, shrugging
  4051. >"Either way, it has still yet to be a proper orgy," Princess Luna says, fixing you in her firm stare
  4052. Just a second, just a second.
  4053. >You turn and search for something to stall her
  4054. >Then you see your Walkman, and you finally realize what's missing
  4055. We need some tunes first, you know, for the atmosphere.
  4056. >"Yes, of course," Luna says. "How does the saying go, it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing?"
  4057. >Yeah, sure
  4058. Applejack, put that tape in.
  4059. >You point the tape out to her
  4060. >After she fumbles around a bit with your 'new-fangled rectangular record player', she manages to slam the tape in and press play
  4061. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5w02O-XdsXE
  4062. >She recoils from the harsh noise and instantly covers her ears
  4063. >Everyone else follows, except for you and Luna
  4064. >Luna pouts her lips in thought
  4065. >"I'm not sure if I will ever come to appreciate this new music being made today."
  4066. >Heh, she thinks this is actually music
  4067. >Pleb as fuck
  4068. >You can feel your silver tongue returning to you
  4069. >Smile at Luna
  4070. As I was saying earlier, you have to forgive some of us for being skittish, because, for most of us here tonight, this is our first orgy.
  4071. >Her eyes widen in understanding
  4072. >"Oh, I see. That explains much of what has happened."
  4073. So you can understand it if we seem inhibited in any way.
  4074. >"Of course. Though it would have done wonders if you had mentioned this earlier. As it is you lack prudence."
  4075. >"That's only true sometimes," Fluttershy says to herself
  4076. >"But I am confused," Luna says. "Twilight Sparkle, were you never told of the royal orgies at any point after your coronation?"
  4077. >Twilight, who was lying back in the beat up wagon, sits up
  4078. >"Huh?"
  4079. >"The orgies," Luna stresses. "Did no pony at any point during your coronation tell you of the orgies? This is most important."
  4080. >You can see Twilight has turned pale and sweaty, and that she looks a bit like the pony that swallowed the frog
  4081. >"N-No . . . I don't think Princess Celestia ever told me anything--"
  4082. >Luna guffaws
  4083. >She wipes away a tear and says:
  4084. >"My sister! That flabby flank hasn't had the energy to participate in one of our orgies for centuries!"
  4085. >Luna snorts
  4086. >"I suppose one could say she makes love with her mouth, but then her only partners are cakes and cookies."
  4087. >As Luna continues laughing, Twilight wipes away tears of her own
  4088. >It's hard when you find out your heroes are just big dumb perverts
  4089. >"But seriously," Luna says, coming down, "can any of you say that you're experienced enough to participate in this orgy?
  4090. >"Simply raise your hoof if you believe yourself to be experienced."
  4091. >No one responds
  4092. >It's kind of a weird question
  4093. >Twilight and Fluttershy are both trying their best to look like they're not there
  4094. >Fluttershy has chosen to do this by hiding her face in your butt
  4095. >Pinkie and Dash are sharing a certain kind of look with each other
  4096. >And Applejack is . . . dancing?
  4097. >Man, she's clogging along to Metal Machine Music
  4098. >You had no idea she was a secret patrician
  4099. >Luna looks to you
  4100. >"You seem to me a good judge of character. Who among them would you say is experienced?"
  4101. >Oh, she's asking you to judge
  4102. >You smile broadly
  4103. Good.
  4104.  
  4105. what do?
  4106. ********
  4107. Pretty much the whole lot of them. Flutters is self explanatory, Twilight keeps a dick journal, Pinkie carves dicks for fun and in her spare time, makes out with Rainbow Dash, the biggest dyke to ever exist.
  4108.  
  4109. The only one you're unsure of is Applejack, but you're pretty certain she's into some weird stuff too. Or Rarity.
  4110.  
  4111. Speaking of, where is Rarity? You haven't seen her the whole day yet. Orgy at Rarities, anyone? At least it buys you the time to travel there. Either that, or Rhymin' Simon's, because you sure as hell don't intend to have a royal orgy in a corn field.
  4112. ********
  4113.  
  4114. Cause I got a lot to say about this little tribe of our's. First off . . .
  4115. >You reach behind you and pick up Fluttershy by the scruff of her neck
  4116. >"Eep!"
  4117. >Hold her before Luna
  4118. This one had her nose in my ass, and her hoof has a tendency to go in other places, if you hadn't noticed yourself already.
  4119. >Toss Fluttershy aside
  4120. >Point at Twilight
  4121. This one drew enough dicks in one journal to satiate the lust of a dick demon from Hell.
  4122. >Point at Pinkie
  4123. This one defeated over a dozen giant pumpkin monsters with her dick-carving expertise.
  4124. >Point at Dash
  4125. This one keeps making out with the dick carver, despite being a dyke. And this one . . .
  4126. >Your finger falls limp when you point at Applejack
  4127. Well, I don't know much about this one, to tell the truth. But don't think she isn't just like all the others. We're supposed to be getting cider, but I'll bet the real reason she brought us in here was to rape us. There'd probably be cider in the barn if we had checked.
  4128. >"It was your idea to go in the corn maze," Applejack says
  4129. >See everyone is glaring at you; except for Fluttershy, who just looks apologetic, as usual
  4130. >You shrug
  4131. Whatever. As far as I'm concerned, none of you would be out of place in an orgy.
  4132. >"Excellent!" Luna says, stars in her eyes. "Where shall we celebrate this joyous occasion?"
  4133. They don't care where. They're all whores.
  4134. >"Oh, is that so?!" says Rarity
  4135. >Wait, Rarity?
  4136. >Look and see Rarity is sticking her head out from the corn maze
  4137. >It's hard to tell how she's regarding you, since she's wearing her green tea face mask, with green cucumber slices over her eyes
  4138. >Her mane is curled up in rollers
  4139. >Her pink robe, covered in dirt and leaves, is still on and, when she points at you, a fuzzy pink slipper dangles from her hoof
  4140. >"Look here, buddy," Rarity says, "if any pony here is going to separate the mares from the whores, it's going to be me."
  4141. >She jumps out from the corn and trots up to you, getting right in your face
  4142. >"I didn't go to whore school just for the wild stallions and late night parties!"
  4143. Why would you go at all? Why is whore school even a thing?
  4144. >Ignoring you, Rarity looks past you and shouts at Luna
  4145. >"Ladies, pull up your drawers and cover those sores, we're moving this party to Carousel Boutique!"
  4146. >"Excellent choice," Luna says. "There shall be many chances there for roleplaying."
  4147. >In a flash, the eight of you are teleported outside the doors of Carousel Boutique
  4148. >Luna did not bring either your wagon or the barrel of cider
  4149. >Man, how are you supposed to get your nightcap now?
  4150. >Luna, however, is looking at you like you're her own nightcap
  4151. >And, now that the cucumbers are gone, you don't like the smug look Rarity is giving you, either
  4152. >Rarity closes her eyes and clears her throat and then says:
  4153. >"Luna, please make sure our guest does not try to run away."
  4154. >"Yes, of course," Luna says. "After all, he still has a debt to pay to me."
  4155. >Before you can run away a big nightblue bubble forms around you
  4156. >You bang against the magic wall and find that it's hard and solid
  4157. >"Perfect," Rarity says, looking in at you with a smug, superior air
  4158. >You bang on the wall some more and scream at Rarity to let you out
  4159. >"What was that?" she says. "You want out of those clothes?"
  4160. >Her horn glows and, in a second, you're left standing there, completely in the buff
  4161. >The eyes of everyone tilt downwards
  4162. >You cover your groin with one hand
  4163. >Rarity covers her mouth and giggles
  4164. >"Well, I meant to have your underwear left," she says. "But it appears you weren't wearing any."
  4165. >You just stand there, glaring and shivering
  4166. >"We'll let you out in due time," she says, turning around flicking her tail your way
  4167. >"Come, ladies," she says. "Let's go prepare his party, then we can show him who the real whore is."
  4168. >"Great! I'll find the baguette," Pinkie says, bouncing in through the doors
  4169. >"Heh, stay warm," Dash says, giving you the briefest of glances before flying in
  4170. >"We'll see ya shortly," Applejack says
  4171. >"Now you know how my journal must've felt," Twilight spits at you before heading in
  4172. >"You shall have the honor of being the sole cock," Luna says
  4173. >Her last words before leaving you are, "You must be so excited!"
  4174. >Yeah, right
  4175. >You are royally fucked
  4176. >You're about to get drowned in the one thing you've tried to avoid for years and years: mare pussy
  4177. >And you're not even drunk enough to forget about it in the morning
  4178. >You'd pray to the corn gods for help, but you know they're powerless to help you unless you happened to have a good supply of corn liquor
  4179. >You sink down to the ground, utterly defeated
  4180. >Then you see that Fluttershy is the only one who hasn't gone in
  4181. >She's watching you from the corner of her eye
  4182. >You sneer
  4183. Of course you haven't gone anywhere. This must be a dream come true for you.
  4184. >She doesn't answer
  4185. >She's daintily tracing little circles into the dirt with the tip of her hoof
  4186. >There's a conflicted look in her eye as she watches you
  4187. >And, for once, you're surprised to find that it's not her usual look
  4188.  
  4189. what do?
  4190. ********
  4191. Clearly she's not okay with sharing so all you need to do is convince her that if the orgy happens that all her hopes and dreams of a happy relationship would be crushed.
  4192.  
  4193. Find Rarity ask her what moves she learned in whore school, maybe the information would stop the orgy,
  4194.  
  4195. Lie and tell them you are a virgin.
  4196. Get them fighting amongst themselves who gets to have you first, then slip away during the resulting battle royale
  4197. ********
  4198.  
  4199. >You know, she doesn't look too happy about what's going on here
  4200. >Maybe she's not thrilled about using you as a human dildo in an orgy with all her friends and the princess of the night
  4201. >Maybe it's not about the sex for her
  4202. >Maybe all those times she nuzzled you and told you that she loved you
  4203. >Could those have all been real moments between the two of you?
  4204. >. . . Nah
  4205. >She probably just wants you all for herself
  4206. >Greedy bitch
  4207. >All the lights start turning on in Carousel Boutique
  4208. >You hear music coming from inside
  4209. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTuq-wDvCW0
  4210. >You never should've given Rarity those old ABBA tapes of yours
  4211. >Well, you've got to get out of here
  4212. >And Fluttershy's currently as vulnerable as ever
  4213. >Time to turn on the charm machine
  4214. >Not too much, though, you don't want to overload her and get her to turn on her (>rape) machine
  4215. Hey, look at me.
  4216. >She raises her chin up
  4217. >You smile
  4218. How's about you and me get out of here and go back to my place?
  4219. >She simply stares at you
  4220. Come on, you and I both don't want to stick around here anymore, waiting for the inevitable clam bake.
  4221. >You give her a pleading look
  4222. >After a moment she humphs and turns her head, showing you her blind side
  4223. >"Oh, I see, so it's only when you need me to bail you out that you want me around."
  4224. >Yes
  4225. No, it's not like that at all.
  4226. >"Really? Because that's been the story here tonight ever since you pulled me in through your window."
  4227. >Oh, right
  4228. >You threw her at what you thought was a chainsaw killer
  4229. >Can't believe she's chosen to hold a grudge over that of all things
  4230. >"And it's not just that, either," she says, turning on you fiercely
  4231. >Oh great
  4232. Well, look, I'm sorry, okay?
  4233. >"Sorry for what? Tell me specifically."
  4234. For throwing you at Pinkie when I thought she was a murderer.
  4235. >"Yes, that's a start," she says. "But do go on."
  4236. >She waves flippantly, her face firm and held high
  4237. >Sheesh. She's really gotten uppity since Rarity came around
  4238. >Stupid Rarity
  4239. I'm also sorry for throwing you at Twilight when she was possessed.
  4240. >"You should apologize to Twilight, too, for getting her possessed in the first place."
  4241. That was your fault.
  4242. >"You made me do it."
  4243. That makes no sense.
  4244. >"You can just keep apologizing," she says. "You've got a lot more to make up for."
  4245. Like what?
  4246. >She frowns severely
  4247. >"Seriously? Do I have to remind you?"
  4248. >You further stoke the glowing embers of her anger with your blank expression
  4249. >Man, forget this; she's impossible
  4250. >Rarity looks down on you from her balcony
  4251. >"Oh, Fluttershy, do come inside," she says. "Every pony is almost ready for the party to begin, and--er--blood just simply isn't a good color for your skin."
  4252. >Maybe you can get under Rarity's skin, get her to slip up somehow
  4253. Hey Rarity, what'd you learn in whore school?
  4254. >"Oh, you'll find out soon enough when I have you bend over," she says shrewdly
  4255. Well, how do you know you'll get the chance? After all, who's going first?
  4256. >"We've plenty of time to figure that out," she says
  4257. Or maybe you don't, because I'm a virgin!
  4258. >Rarity's eyes shrink in her head
  4259. >Fluttershy watches you carefully
  4260. Yeah, that's right, I said it. So whoever has me first, ends up being the one who has me forever!
  4261. >Rarity slowly exhales
  4262. >"Do give me one moment," she says
  4263. >She disappears back inside
  4264. >After a moment the music fades
  4265. >Then there's an uproar of laughter from inside
  4266. >See everyone has gathered at the window to point and laugh at you
  4267. >Bend your head down
  4268. >Easy now, don't show them your burning shame
  4269. >The music slowly comes back
  4270. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3a_fMWWKGQw
  4271. >Hear Fluttershy sigh and touch the bubble
  4272. >"Oh dear," she says. "I can't believe you thought that would work."
  4273. Yeah, totally crazy. I mean, imagine me still being a virgin. Ha, ha. Crazy, right?
  4274. >Fluttershy just shrugs
  4275. >You don't blame her
  4276. >In retrospect, it wasn't a good idea to actually say 'Ha, ha' like you did
  4277. >"And you don't actually believe that Rarity went to whore school, do you?"
  4278. >Look past Fluttershy
  4279. >See Rarity is smirking at you as she taps the window with a familiar baguette
  4280. >Yeah, don't be so sure about that one, Flutters
  4281. >Soon Rarity leaves you alone and you confront Fluttershy
  4282. Look, you do know I was just lying so I could get out of this, right?
  4283. >She doesn't answer
  4284. Really, though, I was just trying to distract them so I could get away.
  4285. >"You're still in the bubble, though," Fluttershy says
  4286. What does that have to do with anything?
  4287. >"Well how would you--oh, never mind. I shouldn't be surprised that that's all you're thinking about."
  4288. >It's just then that you almost make the fatal mistake of asking her what you should've been thinking about this whole time
  4289. >After all, Fluttershy is a woman (not really though)
  4290. >The answer should have been obvious
  4291. Hey, it's not like I haven't thought of you at all tonight.
  4292. >She humphs again
  4293. It's true. I don't want to avoid the orgy just for my own sake, I'm doing it for you too.
  4294. >"Oh, is that so?" she says skeptically
  4295. Hell yes, it's so. Look, I don't think I'll ever like ponies. . . .
  4296. >Except maybe for Celestia
  4297. >Seriously: the ass was fat
  4298. >"Just one more minute 'till we come out to meet you, darling," you hear Rarity intone from inside
  4299. >Okay, great
  4300. >A minute for Rarity means that they won't be ready for about a half-hour
  4301. >Just then there's a loud explosion in the boutique, and orange goop splatters against the windows
  4302. >Rarity screams
  4303. >"My decorative pumpkins! Who did this?! YOU!!! You two get back here!"
  4304. >See Pinkie and Luna trot past the window, with Rarity close behind them, throwing chunks of pumpkin at their heads
  4305. >"I was just trying to teach Princess Luna how to carve!" Pinkie says
  4306. >"Indeed! It is a delicate art, yet exciting when it has to do with penises!"
  4307. >"That ain't no way to treat your produce!" Applejack says
  4308. >"Can you guys hurry up already?!" Dash says
  4309. >"We're running behind!" Twilight says
  4310. >"I could make a joke about that!" Pinkie says
  4311. >"Look out!"
  4312. >There's another loud crash
  4313. >"Oh, careful, there's broken glass here, every pony!" Pinkie says
  4314. >Rarity screams
  4315. >"Forget it! We're going out right now!"
  4316. >Oh crap, she's coming out right now
  4317. >That means you've only got a few minutes before she actually does come out
  4318. >And then it's all over for you
  4319. Fluttershy, seriously, help me out here.
  4320. >"Maybe I don't want to," she says
  4321. >Figures, the one time you need her she'd get like this
  4322. Hey, come on, just look at me one more time.
  4323. >You stare into Fluttershy's eyes
  4324. Look, you and I both know that this isn't how my first time with a pony should go. It's not fair to me or you.
  4325. >"How is it not fair to me?" she says coldly
  4326. Because I know you want to be with me, but not like this.
  4327. >"How do you know that?"
  4328. It's obvious. That's just not the kind of person you are.
  4329. >She regards you curiously for a moment
  4330. >Then she turns away again, though her chin dips slightly
  4331. >"What does it matter whether I help you or not? It won't change anything between us, it won't change how you see me."
  4332. >She sits down in the dirt, closes her eyes and sighs
  4333. >"No matter what we choose, it never changes, does it?"
  4334. >She doesn't wait for your answer
  4335. >"Even after all that's happened tonight, all the times we had to save each other, all the times I tried to comfort you. I know you still hate me."
  4336. >She sighs and looks down at the little dirt circles she's made
  4337. >"Is there even one thing you like about me, one thing you could say that I'm doing right?"
  4338.  
  4339. what do?
  4340. ********
  4341. Frankly I'm just impressed by her determination, isn't exactly like her to give up.
  4342.  
  4343. He should take the lesser of two evils, pick you Fluttershy, and run for her house and get to work on her. It would be better then having 8 or so mates trying to get your meat
  4344. ********
  4345.  
  4346. I don't know about you doing right, but I've always been impressed by your determination.
  4347. >She looks at you
  4348. >"Determination?"
  4349. Yeah, the way you devote so much of your time to chasing me, it's kind of admirable
  4350. >In a way . . . maybe
  4351. >She thinks on this
  4352. >"No, that's not true."
  4353. Excuse me.
  4354. >"You're lying. You don't like my determination."
  4355. I just said I did. The fuck you mean?
  4356. >"But you always say that you hate it whenever I come over every morning. You slammed the door in my face when I first saw you tonight."
  4357. >She's got a point
  4358. So what? Can't I admire something without actually liking it?
  4359. >"Oh, just forget it," she says, folding her arms and showing you her back
  4360. >"You can't even think of one thing you like about me."
  4361. I did, you fucking . . .
  4362. >One hard look from her was enough to make you regret that last outburst
  4363. Come on, it's not like you to give up so easily.
  4364. >"Yeah, it must hurt when you can't convince someone to give you a chance, no matter how much you plead or do for them."
  4365. >Roll your eyes
  4366. >Man, why'd she have to go and get so emotional?
  4367. >"Just three more ponies that need to get the goop out of their manes and we'll be right out," Rarity says
  4368. >Heh, getting goop out of mane is probably one of her special talents
  4369. >Wait, this is bad; they're going to be out soon
  4370. >Unless the three manes are really dirty
  4371. >Please be one of the messy twerps, Pinkie, Dash--one of them
  4372. >"OW! You're pulling one of my stars out!" Luna screams
  4373. >Damn, it's alicorn mane
  4374. >And of all the pictures of Celestia that you've jacked it to, you've never seen her with a hair out of place
  4375. Fluttershy, come on, I really need you to save my ass here.
  4376. >"I've already done that enough, thank you."
  4377. You're not giving up on me, are you?
  4378. >To that she simply humphs
  4379. >It's silent for a moment
  4380. >You've got no other choice than to submit to her
  4381. >Can't believe that after all this time she finally won
  4382. Okay, fine, I'll take you home and fuck you like they do in your eastern comic books.
  4383. >She slowly turns around
  4384. >And she's glaring at you
  4385. >"Excuse me?"
  4386. I said I'll do it, I'll let you have me. You win!
  4387. >She stares at you incredulously
  4388. >Then she gets up and starts heading for the door to Carousel Boutique
  4389. >You jump up
  4390. Wait, where are you going? I'm literally giving you my dick. Get back here!
  4391. >"You're a jerk."
  4392. No, I'm not, this time I'm actually not.
  4393. >"Well, I'm leaving, unless you can give me one good reason why I should stay."
  4394. >She's leaving you!
  4395. >Start banging on the bubble
  4396. Fucking Fluttershy! FUCK!!!!
  4397. >Damn! You're in a tight spot!
  4398. >What the hell does she want?!
  4399.  
  4400. what do?
  4401. ********
  4402. Ask her on a date.
  4403. ********
  4404.  
  4405. Okay, wait, I'll go out with you. Let me take you out on a date.
  4406. >Her ear swivels back your way
  4407. Yeah, I'm serious. We'll go on an actual date and everything, probably to somewhere nice, like pony Starbucks or something.
  4408. >She turns around
  4409. >"You only want to go out with me so I'll make the girls let you out of this bubble."
  4410. >Well, duh
  4411. Not true. I've just started to realize that this kind of thing is overdue between us, that we should really give ourselves a chance to really get to know one another.
  4412. >"And do you have any idea at all about how long I've known that?" she says with a dull expression
  4413. Well, I had to realize it on my own.
  4414. >She raises an eyebrow
  4415. >"And you realized it just now, while you were in this bubble, trapped by my friends--and without any clothes on?"
  4416. It's not as odd as you're making it sound.
  4417. >"No, I think it's apt."
  4418. Fluttershy, come on, I'm trying here.
  4419. >She sighs and approaches the bubble
  4420. >And she's actually looking at your face, too, despite you being uncovered
  4421. >"I don't want to."
  4422. Oh, come the fuck on, Fluttershy! What the hell?
  4423. >"I can see that you're trying, even though you're not doing it for the right reasons.
  4424. >"But seeing as how the situation is a bit unfair for us both, I'm willing to give you a chance."
  4425. Fuck yes!
  4426. >"But only on one condition."
  4427. >Damn it
  4428. What is it?
  4429. >"You say you want to take me out and get to know me, but we've already spent an entire night out together already. So if you really mean what you say, in any way at all, then you should be able to tell me something that you've already learned about me tonight, something that neither I nor any pony else doesn't already know lies in your heart."
  4430. >She touches the bubble and looks at you
  4431. >"All I want is for you to say one little thing about me that means something to you. Can you do that?"
  4432. >So something you think about her that she doesn't already know
  4433. >And which would mean a lot for her to hear
  4434. >Kind of a tough nut to crack, considering she's stalked you for so long now
  4435. >But you'll remember something
  4436. >R-Right?
  4437. >You have to
  4438. >It's been a long night
  4439.  
  4440. what do?
  4441. ********
  4442. She's smart enough to summon a dick demon, and resourceful if her crow plan is anything to go by, also has a high tolerance for bullshit.
  4443.  
  4444. Ya go with the crow plan, it was a good idea too have them attack the zombies, and she was loyal too you the whole time, always had your back
  4445. ********
  4446.  
  4447. >There are actually a few things that come to mind
  4448. >She saved your dick from Midnight, twice; she saved everyone from the zombies
  4449. >Both of those things were pretty badass
  4450. >And she's had your back all throughout this night
  4451. >But you said you wouldn't tell her those things
  4452. >You'll just have to think of something else, maybe make something up
  4453. >She's got a pretty high tolerance for bullshit, after all
  4454. >But the more you try to think of something, the blanker your mind becomes
  4455. >And Fluttershy, as she watches you, begins folding her ears lower and lower as time passes by
  4456. >There's a call from the boutique, causing her to look back
  4457. >"Fluttershy, dear, we're ready for you."
  4458. >You're really losing her here
  4459. >Got to think of something
  4460. >When she faces you again your eyes meet, and she frowns
  4461. >"You just can't think of anything, can you?"
  4462. No, wait, I'm trying. Don't leave.
  4463. >"It's okay, I won't," she says, bowing her head. "I suppose I was asking too much."
  4464. >See her look up from behind that mane of hers
  4465. >Man, why's she got to stare at you with those awful big blue eyes of hers?
  4466. >You rarely ever get to really look at her like you're doing now, without her having her hoof in your crevices
  4467. >Stupid cute little pony knows exactly what she's doing
  4468. >And now you've got to say something you just know you're going to regret someday
  4469. >You're going to have to tell her about all the times you thought she looked cool or impressed you or whatever
  4470. >All because you don't want to hurt her stupid cute little feelings all of a sudden
  4471. >B-Baka Fluttershy!
  4472. >"Are you alright? You look pale, and you're sweating so much."
  4473. >And here it comes
  4474. >Words burst out from inside of you like vomit
  4475. You're a badass!
  4476. >You immediately cover your mouth with both hands
  4477. >Did you really just say that to her?
  4478. >She flinches at your outburst, then pushes back the few strands of her mane that fell in her face
  4479. >"I'm what?"
  4480. >You close your eyes and, feeling that it's hopeless to keep it in any longer, spill out your guts
  4481. I called you a badass.
  4482. >"That's a human thing, isn't it?" she says. "Usually you have more enthusiasm in your voice whenever I hear you say that."
  4483. >Why does she have to push you like this?
  4484. >You already said it, what more does she want?
  4485. >She stares at your pinched-up face
  4486. >"You don't really mean that, do you?"
  4487. Oh, just stop it, will you?
  4488. >"What?"
  4489. Stop twisting the knife, stop torturing me. You know I mean it, you always see right through me. Because you always act genuinely and I don't--can't.
  4490. But believe me when I say that you impressed me tonight, with most everything that you've done--even the annoying things. Before tonight I never thought I'd see someone summon a dick demon, or mobilize their own crow army. And the crazy thing is that even though you do all these awesome things, you still think of me, you're still always there to try and reassure me whenever I'm down and out.
  4491. >"You notice that?" she says, blushing
  4492. Well, yeah. I also notice it when you try to pat me in the wrong places, too.
  4493. >"Yes, you've made it clear that I can never get away with that," she says, scrunching her muzzle
  4494. And that's annoying, but the truth is that you're not so bad. I mean, you're here now, ain't you?
  4495. >You watch her closely as stars shine in her bright eyes
  4496. >You turn away, feeling your face heat up
  4497. Look, I know I sometimes act like I . . . just don't make me regret saying all that, alright?
  4498. >. . .
  4499. Fluttershy?
  4500. >She's gone
  4501. >Briefly see the last sliver of her pink tail disappear behind the door of Carousel Boutique
  4502. >Huh, you hope you got through to her
  4503. >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"
  4504. >The scream came from inside the boutique
  4505. >You press yourself closely against the bubble, leaning forward to try and see what happened
  4506. >The bubble around you fades into nothing
  4507. >Fall face first into the dirt
  4508. >There's more screaming as you hear the door burst open
  4509. >Princess Luna trots out, jumping and screaming and whinnying wildly
  4510. >Wrapped around her face is Fluttershy, who's legs flail around like a fish as she tries to keep her arms held tight under Luna's chin
  4511. >As Luna dips forward, Fluttershy lets go and spins around to the back of Luna's neck, all while keeping her face down on Luna's face
  4512. >It's only when she's turned around, with both arms wrapped around Luna's neck, riding her like a bucking bronco, that you see why Fluttershy didn't move her head
  4513. >She's got her lips tightly wrapped around the base of Luna's horn
  4514. >She's sucking off the princess
  4515. >Her eyes are closed, her cheeks are beat red, her jaw's distended, and she's giving that horn head
  4516. >You even think you can see the top of Luna's horn poking out the back of Fluttershy's neck
  4517. >Luna seems oddly distressed about all this, given she was all set for an orgy just moments ago
  4518. >"Get her off, get her off!" Luna says
  4519. >The rest of the girls run out
  4520. >"Get her off!" Luna cries again
  4521. >"I could make a joke about that," Pinkie says
  4522. >"Get her off!"
  4523. >"I think she is already," Dash says, chuckling to herself
  4524. >Pinkie rolls her eyes
  4525. >"Fluttershy, get off of the princess," Twilight says
  4526. >Fluttershy moans something unintelligible
  4527. >When she strains to open her eyes and sees you, she smiles
  4528. >It's actually really fucking creepy to see someone with a distended jaw smile
  4529. >But you don't care; you smile back
  4530. >Then Twilight slowly starts lifting Fluttershy up with her magic
  4531. >Fluttershy's lips slip off Luna's horn with a pop
  4532. >Luna shudders, then grabs Fluttershy with her own magic and holds her before her
  4533. >"And what have you to say for yourself?" Luna asks her
  4534. >Fluttershy goes to speak
  4535. >Then she starts coughing, getting spittle all over Luna's angry face
  4536. >Luna, remaining stoic, snorts
  4537. >"Do you know how harsh the punishment for assaulting a princess is?"
  4538. >"I'm sure she had a good reason, princess," Twilight says. "Please, Fluttershy, tell me you had a good reason for doing that."
  4539. >Fluttershy spits off to the side
  4540. >"I'm sorry," she says to the stoic princess. "But I had to do it to save my friend."
  4541. >Twilight forces a smile
  4542. >She nudges Luna, who isn't at all moved
  4543. >"See? It was for friendship's sake," Twilight says. "So that means it's okay, right?"
  4544. >Luna takes in a deep breath
  4545. >Then turns on Twilight fiercely
  4546. >"She deep-throated my horn!"
  4547. >Just then Rarity points at you
  4548. >"He's free! Some pony stop him before he gets away."
  4549. >Everyone turns your way
  4550. >You could probably still make it out of there if you ran right now
  4551. >But what about Fluttershy?
  4552. >Can you really leave her behind while you make your getaway?
  4553.  
  4554. what do?
  4555. ********
  4556. You can't just abandon Fluttershy, she'd never let you hear the end of it.
  4557.  
  4558. Point out that Luna getting her horn deep throated counted as assault, but they were pretty much all about to do the same to you, so how is this any different?
  4559.  
  4560. Fluttershy was just trying to teach them all a friendship lesson about consent and boundaries! Twilight should be proud
  4561. ********
  4562.  
  4563. >"Run away, my love!" Fluttershy cries. "Save yourself!"
  4564. >That's what she says, anyway
  4565. >But her eyes are giving you a pleading look, so she probably doesn't mean it at all
  4566. >Yeah, if you left now she'd never let you hear the end of it
  4567. >Guess you've got to save her, as usual
  4568. >Too bad there's no tunes
  4569. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqlHiWrVGag
  4570. >Huh, where's that music coming from? It's playing over the ABBA stuff
  4571. >Everyone else looks just as confused as you do
  4572. >Eh, whatever; it's not the weirdest thing that's happened tonight
  4573. >You rise up and brush the dirt off of your body
  4574. Calm down, everyone. I'm not going anywhere. In fact, I'll gladly explain to everyone here why it is that Fluttershy did what she did.
  4575. >Rarity watches you curiously, and Twilight does so nervously, as you start pacing back and forth, trying to come up with your story
  4576. There's obviously no skirting around Fluttershy's clear assault, but she did it for a very good reason, a reason that Twilight has already brought up, actually.
  4577. >Twilight's eye shrink in her head and you hear her say "Oh no!" under her breath
  4578. It was assault, but does it not do her case well to point out the hypocrisy that the heat of her actions has received when we view it in light of the events with which her assault ran concurrently with?
  4579. >Everyone seems to blink at the same time
  4580. >Except for Rainbow Dash, who looks annoyed
  4581. >"What are you even talking about? Get to the point already."
  4582. Basically, you were all going to rape me anyway, so why should Fluttershy get in trouble for doing something that you were all going to do to me?
  4583. >There's a general hush
  4584. >Rarity's cheeks turn to crimson and she start giggling
  4585. >Twilight and Applejack both purse their lips
  4586. >Pinkie and Dash take one look at each other before bursting out into laughter, both of them eventually ending up in each other's arms and rolling on the ground
  4587. >You harden your gaze at them all
  4588. What's so funny?
  4589. >"I, too, fail to see what's humorous," Luna says
  4590. >Dash, struggling to catch her breath, says:
  4591. >"You actually thought we were all going to do it with you?!"
  4592. Well . . . yeah.
  4593. >Dash and Pinkie take a second to look at the confusion on your face
  4594. >Then they again erupt in another squealing burst of laughter
  4595. >Luna's brows knit as she studies the faces around her
  4596. >Feel your face heat up
  4597. I don't get it. You guys said you were going to rape me.
  4598. >Rarity clears her throat
  4599. >"Well, we never actually did use the word rape," Rarity says
  4600. >"It's true," Twilight says, "We never explicitly said we were going to do anything to you."
  4601. >"Yeah, I was just going along with what Rarity was saying," Applejack says. "It was fun, and I kind of figured you deserved it anyway."
  4602. What the fuck, why?
  4603. >"Because you ate my corn when I told you not to."
  4604. Shut the fuck up, Applejack. I'm talking about why you thought it would be okay to make me think I was going to be raped? I'm fucking naked right now.
  4605. >You thrust your crotch forward
  4606. Look at this! It's all shriveled up.
  4607. >"You sure that's not actual size?" Dash says
  4608. Go to hell, Dash. It's after midnight, and it's fucking cold out here, you asshole. I should've raped your ass when I had the chance, crusty cunt be damned.
  4609. >Glaring at everyone, you stomp over to Fluttershy and pull her out from Luna's magic
  4610. >You secure her under your arm, before turning on everyone again
  4611. Compared to you all, Fluttershy is my best friend, and an exemplary model of consent and boundaries. And we're going home.
  4612. >"Just a second," Luna says. "You still have a debt you owe me."
  4613. Negative. I'm passing the buck on this one.
  4614. >You point at the five guilty ponies around Luna
  4615. They misled you into thinking that you were going to have an orgy at the boutique. If you're looking for someone to punish, then use them examples, as they've clearly committed the grievous crime of deceiving a princess in matters of royal importance.
  4616. And with that I can officially say that I have done you a good service, and so I consider my debt to you repaid.
  4617. >Luna's eyes slowly begin drifting to the left and to the right as she slowly regards the incredulous-looking faces of the guilty party that surrounds her
  4618. >Before turning your back on them, you address the rest of your party one last time
  4619. Maybe next time you shouldn't play a rape joke on the guy that almost gets raped on a daily basis. Goodbye.
  4620. >You start walking away
  4621. >From behind your back you hear Luna say:
  4622. >"We shall have to discuss your punishments back in my private, underground chambers in Canterlot Castle."
  4623. >There's a blink of magic
  4624. >And then everyone behind you is gone, leaving only six scorch marks on the ground and the tiny wisps of smoke that rise up from them before they quickly diffuse into the cool night breeze
  4625. >Speaking of that cool night breeze
  4626. >Fuck, it's cold!
  4627. Fluttershy, get on my back. I'm freezing.
  4628. >Soon she's got her arms wrapped around your neck and is hugging you close
  4629. >The music changes
  4630. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcIwhKYVoSg
  4631. >Seriously, where's that coming from?
  4632. >"Um, do you know that your forehead is glowing?"
  4633. >You walk over to the window of the boutique and see, in your reflection, that your forehead is indeed faintly glowing purple
  4634. >"It looks like you might've absorbed some of Princess Luna's magic."
  4635. Neato. Wonder if I have badass super magic powers now.
  4636. >You briefly picture yourself laying waste to Canterlot Castle, ponies screaming and trotting left and right as their empire crumbles around them
  4637. >Heh, destruction rules!
  4638. >https://youtu.be/cYtNatxJQos?t=340
  4639. >Oh! Music changed
  4640. Looks like I don't have all that much control over it.
  4641. >Fluttershy doesn't answer
  4642. >She's looking down at the scorch marks, sighing
  4643. >"Do you think it was right of you to do that to our friends?"
  4644. >You mean the assholes who stripped you naked and made you think you were going to get raped?
  4645. Of course I do. Why?
  4646. >"It's just that, I know what they did wasn't nice, but two wrongs don't exactly make a right."
  4647. I feel like we've done a lot of wrong tonight, but so far we're the only ones who are still around.
  4648. >"I just think we should at least make sure that they're okay. Princess Luna sure seemed like she was in a bad mood."
  4649.  
  4650. what do?
  4651.  
  4652. Actually, you know what? No, we're not doing that. I'm not going anywhere near Princess Luna's rape dungeons, especially considering my personal history with that kind of subject matter.
  4653. >"What should we do then?"
  4654. Well, first off, I'm fucking naked. Did you forget that already?
  4655. >"Oh, well, I . . ." she starts shifting uncomfortably
  4656. >Now your back suddenly feels a lot warmer
  4657. >And stickier
  4658. >Ugh
  4659. >You seriously need some clothes
  4660. >Go inside Carousel Boutique
  4661. >For some reason, your clothes are nowhere to be seen
  4662. >And the only thing you can find that fits you is . . .
  4663. A pink tutu!
  4664. >"I like it."
  4665. Look, I'm not Iggy Pop, alright. I ain't wearing a pink tutu.
  4666. >Why does Rarity even have this in your size anyway?
  4667. >Seriously, she's done nothing but creep you out tonight
  4668. >"Oh, I found something else for you."
  4669. >Fluttershy giddily presents you with a leather gimp suit made for you
  4670. >"M-Maybe you should wear this one."
  4671. >Why does that exist?
  4672. >What the actual fuck is wrong with Rarity?!
  4673. I'm not nearly drunk enough for any of this shit.
  4674. >But the walk to your house from here is way too far to go without any kind of clothes
  4675. >And Fluttershy might want to veer off course entirely if she's still into making sure that her friends aren't being raped too hard
  4676. >Hopefully she'll be okay with just sending them all a Get Well Soon card for their anuses when it's all over
  4677.  
  4678. what do?
  4679. ********
  4680. I'm certain you could fashion something wearable from the tutu, the gimp suit, and Fluttershy.
  4681.  
  4682. Be a man with a mare and walk home nude, wrap Fluttershy around your body, she has wings use them for warmth
  4683.  
  4684. Yeah, this. As distasteful as it may be, it would make her comfortable as well as providing you an escape, maybe you can talk to her and help her to understand. This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
  4685. ********
  4686.  
  4687. >There's got to be some way you can make a gimp suit and a tutu look stylish
  4688. >First, you put on the gimp suit, sans mask
  4689. >Next you slip the tutu over the suit
  4690. >Take a look in the mirror
  4691. >And then frown
  4692. >Because there's absolutely no way to make a gimp suit and a tutu look stylish
  4693. >Not even when there's a cute yellow pony standing next to you, beaming, and patting you on the ass with her wing
  4694. >"I like it. I think it looks nice."
  4695. You're crazy--and I'm stating the obvious.
  4696. >"Are you sure you need the crotch part?" she asks, biting her lip
  4697. >And she's already reaching for the detachable black leather crotch flap
  4698. >Specifically, she's reaching for the back of it--reaching for the detachable ass cover
  4699. >Smack Fluttershy on the hoof
  4700. >"Sorry. It does look nice, though."
  4701. Yeah, right. I'm never wearing this again, especially knowing you.
  4702. >"Too bad. It's, um, stylish."
  4703. Nope.
  4704. >"No, it is. I could bring out one of my characters to tell you, if you don't believe me."
  4705. And get you in the role-playing mood again? No way.
  4706. >Last time she did that she became some dumb hipster pony
  4707. >The only thing worse than Dash spouting a bunch of old memes is Fluttershy speaking only in new memes
  4708. >You step outside and wait while Fluttershy closes up Carousel Boutique
  4709. >You're shivering, the cold wind still easily finding its way in past all the thin crevices of your mishmash outfit
  4710. >It doesn't help that the legs of the suit were just chaps
  4711. >And now you can feel Fluttershy rubbing the back of your numb thighs
  4712. Fluttershy--
  4713. >"Just trying to get the circulation going back here," she says, slapping your stinging behind
  4714. >This whole situation reminds you of the main question to be asked here
  4715. >Why would you ever want or need to wear something like this?
  4716. >Fucking Rarity
  4717. >Another chilly gust bites your trembling skin, making your entire body seize up
  4718. >Except for the area where Fluttershy is slapping you
  4719. Fluttershy, get on my back.
  4720. >"Huh? Are you sure?"
  4721. Ride me, dammit!
  4722. >She squeals in delight before jumping up on your back
  4723. >She wraps her arms around your neck and her wings around your body, hugging you close to her
  4724. >You grab her legs, and she rests her chin on your shoulder and nestles her cheek against the side of your neck
  4725. >When she exhales her warm breath tickles your ear
  4726. >Soon you're carrying each other into the center of the quiet empty street
  4727. >It's pretty peaceful
  4728. >"Do you think we should've gone after our friends?"
  4729. >And now it's ruined
  4730. Fluttershy, I'm sure they're fine.
  4731. >"But Princess Luna just seemed so, um, intense tonight. What makes you so sure?"
  4732. This has been one helluva night, and nothing has turned out the way any of us thought it would so far. Why should this be any different?
  4733. >"You mean you don't think Princess Luna made them all . . . made them do an orgy?"
  4734. Considering how the night's gone, she's probably got them playing Monopoly or something.
  4735. >"What's that, some kind of depraved sex game? C-Can we play it?"
  4736. It's not a sex game, and no.
  4737. >"Oh."
  4738. But only because I don't actually have the game. In fact, it doesn't even exist here in colorful horse dimension number four.
  4739. >"That's okay, I think I'm too tired to play anyway," she says, yawning into your ear
  4740. I'm bushed too. Tonight was easily the most insane Halloween I've ever had.
  4741. >"Really?" she asks, rubbing up against your back. "Did you really like it?"
  4742. Beats the time I went streaking through my high school fall formal by a mile, that's for sure.
  4743. >"I'm glad you ended up having a good time after all."
  4744. >. . .
  4745. >"What's streaking?"
  4746. Nothing.
  4747. >"Oh."
  4748. >She shrugs
  4749. >"I'm just glad I got to spend all of Nightmare Night with you."
  4750. Yeah, you got lucky there.
  4751. >"Who's the real lucky one? Remember, I saved your butt a few times," she says, giggling
  4752. Hey, I did some badass stuff, too. Remember the zombies? I beat some of those fuckers down.
  4753. >"When was that?"
  4754. Don't act like you don't remember. It was when you were on my back, like you are now.
  4755. >"Oh, now I remember that. Gosh, you worked up a such sweat doing that."
  4756. >She presses her nose against the back of your neck and inhales with a deep snort
  4757. >You'd throw her off if she wasn't keeping you warm
  4758. Want to stop that now?
  4759. >"Eep!"
  4760. >She forces an awkward laugh
  4761. >"Um, I mean--I'm sorry."
  4762. >She nuzzles your shoulder again and sighs contently
  4763. >"Isn't this nice, though, just the two of us, at the end of the night like this?"
  4764. I guess.
  4765. >"Come on. Can't you just say that you like it, that you like being with me right now?"
  4766. You seem to be forgetting that I usually can't stand you.
  4767. >"It's different now, though. I know it's different. I saw it in your eyes when you were talking to me in the bubble."
  4768. >She brushes her cheek against your ear
  4769. >"You like me sometimes, don't you?"
  4770. >Feel your face heating up
  4771. Fluttershy, stop.
  4772. >"It's okay if you don't want to admit it, but I sure would like it if you did."
  4773. You're crazy, you know that? I don't have to admit anything.
  4774. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHD2gJNKgtY
  4775. >You feel both of your hearts seize up at this new song
  4776. >~She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah!
  4777. >~She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah!
  4778. >Fluttershy hums briefly
  4779. >"Oh, what song is this?"
  4780. >You groan
  4781. >Why'd it have to be The Beatles?
  4782. I don't know, okay? I can't control it--just don't listen.
  4783. >"I kind of like it."
  4784. For God's sake, don't listen to it.
  4785. >"Why don't you want me to listen to it?"
  4786. Just please don't do it.
  4787. >"Are you embarrassed of the song?"
  4788. Just don't listen to it, okay?
  4789. >"You don't have to be embarrassed, I know you can't control it."
  4790. I'm telling you, don't listen to it.
  4791. >"I've, um, been listening to it this whole time."
  4792. >Christ
  4793. Fine. Listen to it, see if I care.
  4794. >"I will, mister grumpy."
  4795. >She, of course, listens to it
  4796. >~She says she loves you, and you know that can't be bad
  4797. >~She says she loves you, and you know you should be glad
  4798. >You can feel her grinning over your shoulder
  4799. >"Oh my! Could this be about us?"
  4800. Stop it right now, or I'll drop you.
  4801. >"You wouldn't do that. You're a sweetie."
  4802. I will toss you, I swear. I've already thrown you a few times tonight.
  4803. >"You won't do it because it's too cold out"--she touches your cheek with hers--"and because you don't want to hurt me right now."
  4804. >You face hardens into a picture of reserve
  4805. >Oh, but you do want to hurt her
  4806. >You really do
  4807. >But it's only because you're burning up inside
  4808. >Because you know she's right
  4809. >Though you can't stand her most of the time, her antics, her groping, her ceaseless attention
  4810. >The fact is that you want her to stay close to you at this moment--and it kills you because you just know she loves it
  4811. >What really sucks is that you could have chosen to hold her at any point before this dreaded moment
  4812. >Literally any other time than now would have been better to want her close to you
  4813. >You've had numerous opportunities; she's been there the entire time you've been in Equestria
  4814. >She was practically attached at your hip the moment you arrived here
  4815. >And that's why, even though you wish her to be mauled by barracudas on a good day, you can't imagine life without her
  4816. >She's just always there, always endearing herself to you
  4817. >She does all she can to be with you--and it's not like she tries to be bad or make you unhappy
  4818. >Sure, she should've left you alone the first time you gave her the brush off
  4819. >But even with all the wrong she's done, it doesn't feel right for you to say that she's made your life worse
  4820. >All she's ever tried to do is make your life better
  4821. >She hasn't always succeeded, but is there not nobleness in such efforts as they are?
  4822. >The fact is that hearts have no measure for what is right or wrong, only for what they feel
  4823. >Whatever has been done in the past, by a heart's judgment, you will always be as sinned for not loving her as she is for loving you
  4824. >You can't imagine this night, or any other time, without her being there
  4825. >It's crazy, you know it is
  4826. >But she loves you
  4827. >And with a love like that
  4828. >You know you should
  4829. >Be glad
  4830. >There's silence after the song ends
  4831. >As soon as she opens her mouth to speak you're turning on her
  4832. Not a word.
  4833. >"Okay."
  4834. >You look forward again
  4835. >You grimace again
  4836. >Why'd it have to be that song?
  4837. >Why then, and why with her?
  4838. >She hums
  4839. >"I liked that song, though."
  4840. Looks like Halloween isn't over yet.
  4841. >"I think you should listen to that song more often."
  4842. Of course you do.
  4843. >Fucking Fluttershy
  4844.  
  4845. ********
  4846. Next song is Country Roads
  4847. ********
  4848.  
  4849. >From out of the darkness you and Fluttershy eventually find the glowing windows and warm walls of home
  4850. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0dvabcWVo0
  4851. >Huh, fitting
  4852. >Still carrying Fluttershy, you step over armed bear traps and dried pools of blood
  4853. >You enter your den of squalor, never happier to be there in your life
  4854. >You take a deep breath
  4855. >And feel the inside of your nose is burning
  4856. >Your house is fucking freezing!
  4857. >Then you see the broken window and you remember why
  4858. Dammit. I've got to get into something warm.
  4859. >"How about my--"
  4860. Do not make a joke about that.
  4861. >"O-Okay. . . ."
  4862. >Unfortunately, as part of your original decorating, you emptied your closet and spread the contents throughout the house
  4863. >So your clothes were literally everywhere
  4864. >And you didn't feel like looking for them right now
  4865. >You let yourself fall backwards on the couch before slouching down, sinking your back as far down into the filthy cushions as possible
  4866. >You spread your legs across the floor
  4867. >After cupping your hands together you bring them up to blow on them
  4868. >Every tip of your body was frozen and your bones felt hollow and full of ice
  4869. >Fluttershy sits next to you
  4870. >She doesn't immediately nuzzle up to you but she is leaning her body your way, showing you she's open for it
  4871. >In your peripheral vision you can see the dark, slightly raw and certainly bloody rings around her eyes
  4872. >She never did get to wash all that blood off, and you can see and smell for the first time her matted sticky coat
  4873. >That fat gray rat scampers by your feet before squeezing itself under the couch
  4874. >You rub your eyes, then lean your head back and sigh
  4875. Sure could have used that nightcap.
  4876. >Fluttershy gets up off the couch and sticks her nose under the couch
  4877. >"Um, excuse me, might I have a moment of your time?"
  4878. >She starts whispering something, and only Fluttershy could make herself unheard despite being within two feet of you
  4879. >Whatever. If she wants to talk to rats then that's on her
  4880. >You lie your head back again and look off towards the kitchen
  4881. >See that, among empty cereal boxes and the flung-about insides of pumpkins, there lies an ear of corn on the counter
  4882. >Was that there before?
  4883. >Feel a tap on your thigh
  4884. >Turn and see there's a rat on your couch
  4885. >And he's holding up a Heath bar, offering it to you
  4886. >Fluttershy, who has her own Heath bar, smiles at you
  4887. >"Go on, take it. Waddles here says that there's plenty under the couch still."
  4888. >The rat actually nods after this, its pitch black eyes seeming to sparkle
  4889. >With your thumb and forefinger, you slowly pick the Heath bar out from the paws of Waddles
  4890. >You open it and take a bite
  4891. >Before a minute has gone by you've devoured the whole bar
  4892. >God, you've missed candy all this time
  4893. >See that Waddles has dragged a dozen Heath bars out from the couch and set them by your feet while you were eating
  4894. >They must've all ended up down there after you threw them at Frank
  4895. >You open one for Waddles to nibble on while you grab up the rest of them and pig out
  4896. >Next to your sloppy dribbling eating, Fluttershy takes small bites of her own candy bar
  4897. >The two of you talk about the night, you speaking mostly with your mouth full and Fluttershy nodding along
  4898. >Soon there's only one Heath bar left
  4899. >The neck of your tutu is covered in toffee crumbs and stains of smeared chocolate
  4900. >You wipe your sticky hands off on your belly, smearing brown on pink
  4901. >You reach for the last Heath, and your hand brushes against the small fluff on Fluttershy's hoof
  4902. >She smiles and folds her ears
  4903. >"You can have it, if you want it."
  4904. >Open your mouth to say something
  4905. >A monster belch bursts out from your mouth instead
  4906. >Fluttershy looks stunned for a moment before breaking out into a giggling fit
  4907. What? You think that's funny?
  4908. >"It's just, you sounded a lot like one of Applejack's piggies there."
  4909. >She sighs, then starts to hiccup, her voice squeaking
  4910. >Her eyes shrink as you smirk at her
  4911. >She covers her mouth with one hoof, blushing
  4912. >"Excuse me."
  4913. It's fine, befitting, even. I'd say the pig has met the mouse.
  4914. >You both chuckle, and it's then that your eyes meet
  4915. >Under sufferance of your gaze, she pins her ears back and begins to smile
  4916. >It's unnerving how easily her soft eyes will directly rest on your heart whenever she sees you
  4917. >Then she hiccups again
  4918. >"Oh, excuse me again."
  4919. >She lightly hits her chest a few times
  4920. >Despite this you still feel a bit awkward
  4921. >You look away
  4922. Uh, Fluttershy, I don't . . .
  4923. >You stop when you see that Waddles has a small pile of candy corn by your feet now
  4924. >You didn't have any candy corn here when you left
  4925. >Just then there's a knock at the door
  4926. >Stare at the door
  4927. There's no way that could be a trick or treater. . . .
  4928. >Right?
  4929. >You and Fluttershy share discerning looks
  4930. >Then she hiccups again
  4931. >She quickly covers her mouth, her chest spasming as the hiccups try to squeak out
  4932.  
  4933. what do?
  4934. ********
  4935. Answer the door.
  4936. ********
  4937.  
  4938. >You grab the Heath bar and stand up
  4939. Well, I gotta answer that.
  4940. >"I really don't think that's a good idea."
  4941. Fluttershy, what have I said about this night being nothing like we expected so far? It's just a trick or treater.
  4942. >"It's after midnight."
  4943. Then this kid is the coolest trick or treater ever and it would be a crime not to give him some candy.
  4944. >"I'm nervous."
  4945. Why?
  4946. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pP5gpZHjd8g
  4947. >Seriously, you're getting beef from the uncontrollable magic too?
  4948. >You need to go put Metal Machine Music back on sometime
  4949. There's nothing to be worried about.
  4950. >There's more knocking, really loud
  4951. >Turn towards the door
  4952. I'm coming!
  4953. >"Wait," Fluttershy says
  4954. >She gets up and joins you just as you're mere inches from the door
  4955. >Then she starts hugging your legs
  4956. >Roll your eyes
  4957. >Should've known it was all just another excuse for her to get a hug
  4958. >She's gotten way too feelsy since she got you out of the bubble
  4959. Fluttershy, it's just--
  4960. >Hear a chainsaw rev up
  4961. >A spinning blade saws through the top of the door before cutting its way down, sending chunks of wood flying everywhere
  4962. >The door falls in two pieces
  4963. >Before you stands a white stallion, with a bloody burlap sack on his head, wielding a chainsaw
  4964. >He lifts the chainsaw up over his head before screaming and charging at you
  4965. >Fluttershy starts shaking your legs
  4966. >"Don't just stand there, we've got to run!"
  4967. >You grab her, and there are three instincts that are all at war in your mind
  4968. >One is to protect her somehow
  4969. >One is to throw her at the guy
  4970. >And one is to listen to what she says
  4971.  
  4972. those darn chainsaw maniacs
  4973. what do?
  4974. ********
  4975. Time to let the clown off the leash...
  4976.  
  4977. It's probably just one of the guards from earlier returning the chainsaw to you.
  4978.  
  4979. This! How nice of the guard
  4980.  
  4981. Just don't throw Flutterbutt at him this time.
  4982. ********
  4983.  
  4984. Stay back, Fluttershy, I'll handle this.
  4985. >You push her back
  4986. >Then, channeling your inner Leon Kennedy, you bring your fist back and clock that chainsaw fucker
  4987. >He flies backwards off of his hooves and does a little aerial spin before coming crashing down to the floor
  4988. >You bring your shattered knuckles up to your hands and blow on them
  4989. Better try an old trick, cause that one's getting old.
  4990. >The burlap sack, which had been knocked off, floats down by the stallion's still head
  4991. >He's out cold, the entire left side of his face is bruised
  4992. >You see he's got a wagon with him that's carrying all of your stuff
  4993. >And he's the guard that was with Princess Luna earlier
  4994. Oh, fuck.
  4995. >You lift him up while Fluttershy goes and gets a glass of water
  4996. >"Um, you don't have any water in here," she calls out from the kitchen
  4997. >Right, you had your fridge unplugged for the entire month
  4998. Well just get something we can splash him with.
  4999. >She comes back and dumps a glassful of spoiled milk curds on his face
  5000. >His face twitches a bit and he starts to blink his eyes
  5001. >"Huh? What's going on?"
  5002. >He licks his lips
  5003. >And then immediately doubles over and starts vomiting on the floor
  5004. >He rubs his cheeks, an abject look of horror on his face when he sees the white chunks he's wiped off
  5005. Yeah, don't eat any more of those.
  5006. >He jerks his head up and gasps when he sees you
  5007. >"What is this?!" he screams, holding his hoof-full of curds out to you
  5008. It's just--
  5009. >"Am I dying?!" he screams, his bottom lip trembling
  5010. >God, what a baby
  5011. You're fine. Fluttershy here just poured some spoiled milk on you.
  5012. >His wild gaze shifts to Fluttershy, who looks down towards the floor
  5013. >"Sorry," she mumbles
  5014. >The guard opens his mouth, then winces and presses his hoof against his bruise
  5015. >"Geeze," he hisses. "It feels like some pony just let the clown off the leash."
  5016. >You and Fluttershy share a confused look
  5017. >You're pretty sure that isn't an actual expression
  5018. >Though you were almost made to wear a leash, or Rarity at least had one for your gimp suit
  5019. >Fluttershy tried to argue that it would help keep you two from being separated in the dark
  5020. >You argued that she was horny all the time and should shut up
  5021. >You could've been captain of the debate team back in high school if you had wanted to be
  5022. >The guard looks at you both earnestly
  5023. >"How did my face get like this?"
  5024. >You stop short of telling him that he was just born unlucky
  5025. >"Seriously, what happened to me?"
  5026. >He stares at you both for a moment
  5027. >"Also, who are you guys? And, my man, where can I get an outfit as stylish as the one you're wearing?"
  5028. >Fluttershy smiles smugly your way
  5029. >"See? It is stylish."
  5030. >You resist the urge to flick her on the nose
  5031. >Then you pull her aside and whisper to her:
  5032. He doesn't remember who we are.
  5033. >"Goodness!" she says, bringing her hoof, her back legs trembling a bit. "You must've hit him very hard for that to happen."
  5034. >See she's blushing and biting her lip, clearly thinking of something else
  5035. >You purse your lips, realizing that you must've turned her on just then
  5036. >Damn your super accurate Leon S. Kennedy impression!
  5037. >Just then the other guard, minus his helmet, walks in from out of the dark
  5038. >And, presumably, the cemetery
  5039. >In stunned silence, you lightly tap Fluttershy and then point her towards the reanimated guard
  5040. >She gasps
  5041. >"Oh my!" she whispers
  5042. I know, right?
  5043. >"You aren't going to hit him too, r-right?" she says, her voice trembling. "Oh, that would be so bad!"
  5044. >She starts looking from you to the guard and back, all while breathing heavily, sweat starting to collect at the top of her forehead
  5045. >You ignore the horny little devil and turn your attention back to the reanimated guard
  5046. >He looks down sternly at the downed guard
  5047. >"There you are. Where the hay have you been all this time?"
  5048. >"Where have I been?" the downed guard says indignantly as he gets up. "Where have you been? The last thing I remember is you ditching me."
  5049. >"I didn't ditch you."
  5050. >"Says you! I don't even know how I got out of that corn maze. And look at my face, dude. I'm all jacked up for some reason."
  5051. >"Whatever. We got to get back to the princess," says the reanimated guard
  5052. >"Oh, right," the other guard says, straightening up. "We better find her before we get in trouble."
  5053. >"Let's get out of here then."
  5054. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Jlk8QgOXz0
  5055. >The not-supposed-to-be-dead guard sees your forehead glowing and smiles
  5056. >"Oh, looks like you've been touched by Princess Luna's magic."
  5057. Yeah. You know how I can control it?
  5058. >He shrugs
  5059. Thanks, buddy. Big help.
  5060. >"Don't worry about the magic, it'll pass through you eventually, like it's doing now. Maybe even all at once, and boy is that something to see when it happens!"
  5061. Honestly, I was kind of hoping for some sick magical powers.
  5062. >"Well, because she's the princess of the night, all of her magic that's in you will collect in one place during the night while you sleep."
  5063. Like my fists?
  5064. >"I've mostly heard of it happening in your mind."
  5065. >Boring
  5066. >"Yep, you might have some very intense dreams tonight, so that's something."
  5067. Something useless, just like you two have been all night.
  5068. >The downed guard scrunches his muzzle, then steps out
  5069. >You start yawning, ready to see if that dream stuff is true or not
  5070. >Fluttershy turns to give you what was probably supposed to be an admonishing look for being rude to the guard
  5071. >Instead, due to her back legs rubbing against each other, like some kinda horny grasshopper's, she just taps you on the thigh and suggests that you get some rest
  5072. >"I'll go get you some blankets," she says, trotting upstairs
  5073. >The reanimated guard stops just before exiting and looks over his shoulder at you
  5074. >"Hey, thanks for taking care of him for me."
  5075. >He smiles, showing off that he's only got two rotted jagged teeth left
  5076. >Then he turns and heads out
  5077. >A moment later you hear one of your bear traps go off
  5078. >Someone screams
  5079. >"Why is this even here?!"
  5080. >"Come on, let's get you to a hospital!"
  5081. >"Oh, uh . . . my leg's fine, actually. Doesn't even hurt--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
  5082. >"Dude, come on. Your leg's in bad shape. It almost looks black! And there's a bunch of holes in it!"
  5083. >"Hey--put me down!"
  5084. >"Don't worry, buddy, I'll get you some help!"
  5085. >"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
  5086. >You slam the half of your door that's still in the frame and pretend you can't hear them anymore
  5087. >Eventually they're gone, and Fluttershy comes back down, dragging a blanket behind her and carrying a pillow in her teeth
  5088. >You blink your tired eyes as she lays them down on the couch, straightening everything out and making a respectable bed
  5089. >"There," she says proudly, patting the blanketed spot. "You can lie down here."
  5090. You do know I have my own bed, right?
  5091. >"Oh, well, maybe I could stay here then . . . ?"
  5092. >You sigh as you approach her
  5093. >She looks up at you pleadingly
  5094. >"Please let me stay. I don't want to go back by myself on a night like this."
  5095. >She looks down at the floor
  5096. >"I'm afraid to go back right now."
  5097. >You regard her with a mix of pity, annoyance, and sympathy
  5098. >Normally you'd tell her to suck it up, then you'd kick her out
  5099. >But you don't have a door to lock her out of
  5100. >And besides, after all you've been through tonight, you feel she's earned herself a little better treatment from you
  5101. >Letting her stay in your house though, especially when you can't keep an eye on her
  5102. >That's a shaky prospect
  5103. >And you're way too tired to walk her back to her cottage
  5104. >She looks up at you again, folding her ears
  5105. >"Please can I stay?"
  5106.  
  5107. what do?
  5108. ********
  5109. Let her stay, she probably won't do anything nefarious.
  5110. ********
  5111.  
  5112. Alright, I'll let you stay.
  5113. >Before you can warn her not to try anything she's already squealed and jumped up on you, wrapping her arms around yours
  5114. >"Yay! I promise you won't even notice I'm here."
  5115. >She squeezes you tighter, making you wheeze
  5116. Very unlikely, Flutterbutter.
  5117. >After letting you go and apologizing, she starts lifting up the bed stuff she laid earlier
  5118. >You watch her fold the blanket and tuck the pillow under her arm
  5119. Yeah, just go ahead and rearrange that stuff any way you want, and make yourself--
  5120. >She flies upstairs in a flash
  5121. . . . Comfortable.
  5122. >You rush upstairs and see that your bedroom door is open
  5123. Goddammit.
  5124. >Go in to find that she's straightening things up on one side of the bed
  5125. >One side of your bed
  5126. >She smiles bashfully, folding her ears when she sees you
  5127. >"Can you at least think about--"
  5128. Absolutely not.
  5129. >"O-Okay. . . ."
  5130. >She takes her bed stuff off, then starts making a place for herself nearby on the floor
  5131. >Pretty much right next to where she wanted to be in bed
  5132. >She notices you're still staring at her
  5133. >"It's, um, not a sleepover unless you're in the same room . . . and I can be good, I swear."
  5134. >You simply roll your tired eyes and walk past her
  5135. >Into the bathroom
  5136. >"Oh, are you taking a shower? Are you--"
  5137. >And you slam the door behind you, locking it
  5138. >". . . Okay then."
  5139. >A while later you're lying in your bed, your hair still damp
  5140. >Fluttershy comes out from the bathroom, her feathers all fluffed and her mane wetted down
  5141. >"Thanks, I really needed to use the shower. Sorry I took so long."
  5142. In all that time, you were just washing the blood off, right?
  5143. >"Well, what else would I be doing in the shower?" she says with a giggle
  5144. >She raises her tail and gives it a little flick after saying this
  5145. >Not taking the bait, you turn over and show her your back
  5146. Just get the lights. The switch is over by the--
  5147. >"Thanks, but I already know."
  5148. >Oh, yeah, that's not creepy
  5149. >As soon as the lights go off, and you hear her settle under the blanket next to your bed, you mumble:
  5150. I've made a huge mistake.
  5151. >She settles, and you can tell she's got her eyes on you
  5152. >"Good night."
  5153. Yeah. . . . Good night.
  5154. >You lie there for a while, waiting for her to move on you
  5155. >Just then you hear her turning
  5156. >Cover that dick!
  5157. >Clench those cheeks!
  5158. Fluttershy . . . ?
  5159. >Turn over and see that she's lightly snoring
  5160. >She mumbles something unintelligible, lightly sneezes, then rolls over onto her side
  5161. >You sigh, then lie back and close your eyes
  5162. >You fall into a deep, satisfying sleep
  5163.  
  5164. >Somewhere in the night, in the dark, you can hear Fluttershy's breathing
  5165. >She crawls on top of you, lying on your chest until your back starts to sweat from your combined warmth
  5166. >Her hair tickles your cheeks as you feel her looking down at you
  5167. >She brushes the stray hairs away, then caresses your cheek
  5168. >"Just one," she whispers
  5169. >She leans down, her face inches away from yours, her exhaled breath blowing against your lips
  5170. >"Just one, one that I can remember fondly afterwards, one that he can never hate me for. . . ."
  5171. >She holds her breath
  5172. >All is quiet, all is still
  5173. >Ever so slightly, she bends herself towards you
  5174.  
  5175. what do?
  5176. ********
  5177. I say let her have this, she’s done a good job most of the night, and if she thinks you don’t know she can’t use it against you.
  5178. ********
  5179.  
  5180. >Your heart starts going like mad as you lie back, letting her fall into you
  5181. >She takes in a deep, silent breath, as though gathering her courage, before she pushes herself forward and joins her lips with yours
  5182. >There's a tingling feeling along the back of your neck
  5183. >Conscious of nothing else, you surrender yourself to the waves of pleasure given by her slowly-parting lips
  5184. >Faint images of all that you had done earlier that night float past your eyes
  5185. >You relive it all, the surprise of her first appearing on your doorstep
  5186. >The defeat of the first chainsaw maniac (stupid Pinkie)
  5187. >Talking your way out of being arrested by the guards
  5188. >Riding down the hill in the cemetery and bashing zombie heads
  5189. >Throwing the journal at Spergle
  5190. >Appealing to Fluttershy while you were trapped cold and naked in that bubble
  5191. >All of these triumphs come back to you in that kiss in the dark and lift up your spirit
  5192. >Her lips part from yours and you can feel her eyes looking down at you and, though you can't see them, you can feel that she loves you
  5193. >And you know you should be glad
  5194. >But then her lips make a sound like she's kissing you again
  5195. >Only she isn't
  5196. >The sound, like wet smacks, travels over you in pleasurable waves just like her kiss had done
  5197. >Your eyes slowly adjust to the faint sunlight that's coming in the room
  5198. >The blankets that once covered you are gone and Fluttershy is lying on her side on top of your legs
  5199. >Your wet cock is in her mouth as she goes down on it, her eyes closed and her cheeks crimson with warmth
  5200. >You wait for her lips to come up to your tip before you reach out and flick her on the nose
  5201. >Her eyes shrink as her vision travels up the length of your body to meet your grimace
  5202. >She slips her lips off of your head with a wet pop and you feel keenly the chill of the room as all your pleasure is sapped away
  5203. >She open her mouth to speak but your wet dick slaps her on the cheek, and a bit of your cum, mixed with spittle, drips out the side of her mouth
  5204. >She wipes her mouth and ends up saying nothing
  5205. >She only laughs awkwardly and looks off to the side
  5206. >"This must look like a sticky situation, huh?"
  5207. >There's a limp beat after this, and her smile withers away
  5208. >"Never mind. I'll just go--"
  5209. Wait.
  5210. >Your eyes meet and she lets out a noise--"Eep!"--as you grab the back of her head
  5211. >You hold her by her mane, a conflicted feeling overtaking your mind as you think of what you should do with all your pent-up energy
  5212.  
  5213. what do?
  5214. ********
  5215. Grab that horse by the butt.
  5216.  
  5217. It's clearly just one of those Luna magic dreams. That means you can do anything! R-right?
  5218.  
  5219. Fuck her like an animal, if she does not scream with pleasure then you fail.
  5220.  
  5221. This horse is gonna get fucking ravaged.
  5222.  
  5223. unf
  5224. ********
  5225.  
  5226. >Wait, just a second ago it was nighttime
  5227. >And now you're awake, Fluttershy somehow got on your lap without you feeling it, and she somehow was able to blow you until you came
  5228. >Yet you didn't wake up until just now
  5229. >Okay, clearly this has to be one of those intense dreams brought on by Luna's magic
  5230. >And considering that this is your dream, and that you have magical powers
  5231. I can do anything I want!
  5232. >Fluttershy's eyes wander for a second before instantly widening
  5233. >"Um . . . yes, you can do anything, absolutely anything! Unf!"
  5234. >Fluttershy bits her bottom lip and tries to lunge for your lips
  5235. >Despite you not letting go of her mane
  5236. >"Ow!"
  5237. >While watching her wince, you purse your lips
  5238. Why are you even still here?
  5239. >"W-What?"
  5240. >You pick her up, spin her around, and sit her down on your waist before grabbing two handfuls of dat ass
  5241. >She lets out an "Eep!" when your erection slaps against her belly
  5242. >And an even bigger "Eep!" when your fingers dig into the pliable flesh of her rump
  5243. >You eye her butt curiously
  5244. >Now just how the heck do you get her ass to turn into Celestia's?
  5245. >You knead her chubby cheeks like dough, smooshing her cutie mark
  5246. >"O-Oh my goodness! AH!!"
  5247. Fluttershy, be quiet, I'm trying to concentrate.
  5248. >She starts breathing huskily, her tail dock rising and falling with each panting breath, as she begins rubbing her warm dripping sex against the base of your shaft
  5249. >"This . . . is my new fetish!"
  5250. >She still hasn't changed into the princess of dat ass
  5251. >You groan in frustration
  5252. >Man, why isn't this working?
  5253. >You squeeze her cheeks with all your might, smashing them together like they're two big yellow plump pillows, until her flesh fills the spaces between your fingers
  5254. >She throws her head back and screams in pleasure, her fat tongue lolling out
  5255. >She looks over her shoulder at you, groaning in need
  5256. >"I need it now! Give me the dick!"
  5257. >Huh?
  5258. >Against your wishes, she pulls herself out from your grip and, now facing you, holds her waist over your pulsing red rod
  5259. >She looks down at your bobbing cock, giggling madly as she smashes her hot sex against it
  5260. >Every touch of her body sends a jolt of pleasure up your spine
  5261. >Man, this stinks
  5262. >Where the heck is Celestia already?
  5263. >"I can't take it anymore!"
  5264. >Fluttershy stops and looks up the length of your body until her crazed eyes meet yours
  5265. >"Shove it up in me!"
  5266. I ain't going to do that.
  5267. >"Oh, yes you are!"
  5268. >Just then her tail wraps around the base of your length and coils around it like a snake
  5269. >In an amazing feat of tail dexterity, she lifts your cock up until your glans slide into the soft grip of her lips
  5270. >She looks up at you, grinning, her pupils dilated and her entire body trembling
  5271. >"You're going to love me!"
  5272. >Oh boy
  5273. This ain't a dream, is it?
  5274. >She slams down on your cock, her warm wet pussy taking you to the hilt before clenching tightly around your base
  5275. >"Oh my Celestia!"
  5276. Oh fuck!
  5277. >You throb and twitch inside her, feeling her contractions running up and down your cock, and squeezing it like her pussy is a soft wet fist
  5278. >Fuck! the pleasure is unreal!
  5279. >No, wait, you do realize who it is you're fucking!
  5280. >R-Right?
  5281. Fluttershy, get off of me!
  5282. >Heh, she could probably make a joke about that
  5283. >You try to lift her off, but she's got her pussy clamped around your dick like a vise
  5284. >All you manage to do is pull on your dick
  5285. >And it feels fucking awesome
  5286. >Fuck, does it feel good!
  5287. >You let go of Fluttershy and she falls on top of you, panting and exerted
  5288. >You're breathing so heavily that you're able to lift her up with your chest
  5289. >She lifts her eyes up to yours and wraps her arms around your neck
  5290. >"Ram into me!"
  5291. Fuck, this really isn't a dream.
  5292. >Your hands travel down along her curves until you're grabbing her by her waist
  5293. >You start slowly pumping your cock in and out of her warm slip, the rhythm of your bodies rocking together, like you're both on a boat out at sea
  5294. >The bedframe squeaks and rocks along with your combined moans
  5295. >Just then Fluttershy buries her head into your chest
  5296. >She whines like she's hurt
  5297. >"Go faster. . . ."
  5298. >Meanwhile all you can say is
  5299. This isn't a dream, is it?
  5300. >Fuck, you feel like a broken record
  5301. >"Yes, yes, this is a dream, sweetie. Now go faster!"
  5302. >You thrust up into her hard, making her breath hitch
  5303. >Then you raise your legs, lifting her up slightly, and start pumping in and out of her drooling puss, like a jackhammer pushing into a gushing lemon
  5304. >You're both a sweaty tangled mess of each other, both of you breathing down the others neck as you embrace
  5305. >As you both sweat and lift and pump into each other, you can feel the pressure building up at your base
  5306. I'm going to--
  5307. >"Keep going!" she pants. "Oh my goodness, don't you stop!"
  5308. >With that you push her up so that she's straddling you, and you start ramming her even harder, feeling every twitching wet inch of her in and out
  5309. >You're getting so close, your cock throbbing and twitching like mad
  5310. >You're past the point of no return now
  5311. >You can feel your head flaring, and all the cylinders are firing at full power
  5312. >You're definitely going to cum
  5313. >There's just one problem
  5314. >The inside of Fluttershy's waist is glowing blue
  5315. >There's a pulsing blue light inside her
  5316. >It looks like she's got a big blue tube in her vagina
  5317. >And you're pretty sure that big blue tube is your dick
  5318. >"AH, AH, Ah, AH!!"
  5319. >She doesn't seem to notice or care though, as she's still bouncing on top of you
  5320. >Still though, the light is starting to get bigger; it's even sparkling
  5321. >Almost like it's charging up
  5322. >Fluttershy screams as a torrent of her warm fluids gushes out from her stretched, wet gash, covering your cock and dripping down onto your pent-up nuts
  5323. >Between her gasps and moans, she cries out to you, in a rocky voice:
  5324. >"Cum for me, baby! Fill me up!"
  5325. >As you feel the first twitch of your own coming torrent, and as the distinct ring of magic charging up pings in your ears, you realize that she's probably going to regret saying what she just said
  5326. >But, thrusting up into her one last time, with all your might, you know you sure aren't going to regret a thing
  5327. >You hilt up in her wet battered pussy one last time and shoot rope after rope of your hot sticky seed inside her
  5328. >Your jaw drops open
  5329. Ah!
  5330. >She tilts her head back
  5331. >"AH!!"
  5332. >And the loud tinkling sound of a spell going off comes from down below
  5333. >The blue glow is too bright to not be noticed now
  5334. >Fluttershy looks down at her glowing waist for the first time
  5335. >The air around you both seems to be trembling as the magic energy reaches a breaking point
  5336. >Everything stops for a moment
  5337. >It's the calm before the storm
  5338. >Then there's a small ping, like the sound of initial impact when there's a distant explosion
  5339. >And Fluttershy's pussy floods with wave after wave of sparkly blue magic
  5340. >It's so much that it starts slightly lifting her up off your cock
  5341. >Her entire waist is beginning to tremble and shake
  5342. >And soon, like a cork, she's going to pop
  5343. >Her eyes shrink in terror, and she folds her ears
  5344. >"Oh dear. . . ."
  5345. >There's a surge of blue energy that comes flooding out from her pussy, like a rocket's flame
  5346. >Fluttershy is propelled off of your waist and goes flying up into the air
  5347. >She flips forward and somersaults over your head, over the headboard, and over the windowsill that's above your bed
  5348. >And you hear her crash right through the glass of the window
  5349. >Followed by her distant, slowly-fading scream of terror:
  5350. >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa--!"
  5351. >There's a loud crunch as she lands in the bushes outside
  5352. >You jump up and carefully stick your head out over the broken shards of glass that are still sitting in your windowpane
  5353. >Look down at the new hole that's in your bushes
  5354. Yo, Fluttershy, you alright?
  5355. >". . . Oh yeah . . . Didn't lose a single drop of it. . . . !"
  5356. >Man, she sounds like she's out of her head
  5357. >You tuck your dick back in your pajama pants and run outside
  5358. >When you reach the bushes you stick your hand down into the hole and feel around for her mane
  5359. >There's nothing, until you feel one of your fingers get taken into a slimy wet hole
  5360. >Yeah, you recognize that feeling: she's sucking on your finger
  5361. >You curl your finger into her cheek and lift her up out of the bushes like a fish on a hook
  5362. >Pull her out from the bushes and seat her on the ground
  5363. >She's got a wiggly smile on her face, and her eyes are starry
  5364. >She falls onto her back and sighs blissfully
  5365. >"That was everything I wanted . . . and more!"
  5366. So you're not hurt?
  5367. >She lifts her head up
  5368. >"Why? D-Did you want it to hurt me?"
  5369. Get your mind out of the gutter for one second.
  5370. >"But we just got finished having sex."
  5371. Do it anyway. I'm asking you if you're hurt from the fall.
  5372. >"I don't think so."
  5373. >You make her get up and stretch all of her limbs, to make sure nothing's broken
  5374. >Once you're sure she's okay, you start heading back inside
  5375. What was all that, anyway?
  5376. >"It was magic. Our first time was so great that it was magical."
  5377. >Roll your eyes
  5378. Sure. But what's more likely is that it was probably just the last of Luna's magic trying to find a way out.
  5379. >"That's right, our sex is so good that it beats alicorn magic. Can we do it again?"
  5380. Don't think so.
  5381. >"Oh come on, just one more before I have to go tend to my critters."
  5382. >She gives you a big, pleading smile with stars in her eyes
  5383. >You actually feel like you're going to have a hard time saying no to that face, so instead you say:
  5384. I'll think about it, okay? It hasn't even been a full day yet, and I already went from hating you to fucking your horse pussy.
  5385. >"Is that bad?"
  5386. No, it's just that we made a lot of choices in such a short time, and it's given me a lot to think about.
  5387. >She nods and looks ahead
  5388. >Her smile gets smaller but doesn't disappear
  5389. >"I understand."
  5390. >She looks off for a moment
  5391. >"Was it good . . . ?"
  5392. >You turn fully to her
  5393. It was really good.
  5394. >She gasps and starts hovering in place
  5395. >"Yay!"
  5396. >She flies over and wraps your arms in a hug
  5397. >And you feel a small warm tickling in your cold, cold heart
  5398. >This might work out after all
  5399. >Well, for her, anyway
  5400. >Fucking Fluttershy
  5401. >You round the corner just in time to catch Derpy delivering your mail
  5402. >She smiles at you, though her loopy eyes are looking in opposite directions
  5403. >"So are you two a couple now?"
  5404. No, she just won't get off of me.
  5405. >Fluttershy folds her ears and finally lets you out of her hug
  5406. >"S-Sorry."
  5407. >You scratch behind her ears for a moment
  5408. >"I think something's changed between you two. I can see it clearly," Derpy says with one eye looking up at the blinding morning sun
  5409. >And the other eye down at your crotch
  5410. >She smirks
  5411. >"But you don't have to tell me if you don't want to yet. Though you might want to put your wiener away."
  5412. >Look down and see that your dirty cum-covered dick slipped out from your pants
  5413. >Yeah, your button is gone for some reason
  5414. >Some yellow reason, no doubt
  5415. >Fluttershy folds her ears and blushes following a hard look from you
  5416. >Derpy just smiles, one eye floating up and down in her head like it's a blob in a lava lamp
  5417. >You adjust yourself so that Derpy doesn't have to see that
  5418. Sorry, Derpy.
  5419. >"Oh, it's fine. Actually, I'm kind of glad I saw it."
  5420. >"And just what does that mean?!" Fluttershy says jealously, getting up in Derpy's face (though Derpy couldn't see it because her eyes were too far apart).
  5421. >"I mean it's famous now," she says. "You can read all about it in today's paper."
  5422. >She easily pushes Fluttershy to the side and then drops your mail at your feet
  5423. >Derpy leaves
  5424. >You look down at the paper, wondering what Derpy meant
  5425. >You pick up the paper
  5426. >There's a folded note on top of it
  5427. >Open it up and read it
  5428. >'You can't conceive of the pain we experienced last night, but here's some butthurt of your own.
  5429. >'Thanks a lot for ditching us!'
  5430. >Huh, that's definitely Twilight's writing
  5431. >You scan the newspaper for articles about your dick
  5432. >'Local Zebra goes on Vacation'
  5433. >Oh, wait, that's about Rhymin' Simon
  5434. >It's an article explaining why she wasn't around last night to give tours and tell ponies about the legend of Nightmare Moon
  5435. >The reporter talks of finding a note on the door of her hut, which read:
  5436. >'I'm currently out doing zebra stuff, so if you want to see me, that's tough.'
  5437. >Yeah, you're glad you never ended up going over there
  5438. What does this have to do with my dick though?
  5439. >"Um, that's the local section."
  5440. >Oh, right
  5441. >You flip over to the front page
  5442. >'Notorious Changeling Murderer Caught!'
  5443. >No, that ain't it
  5444. >'Strange Markings Found on the Moon Resemble Mini Corn Dog'
  5445. >There's a picture of the moon
  5446. >And on the moon is a bunch of craters and ridges that are shaped together to look like--
  5447. That's my dick!
  5448. >"W-What?!"
  5449. >You straighten the page out and pore over it
  5450. >'Strange markings, which have been described as having the appearance of a very hairy mini corn dog, were discovered on the moon very early this morning.'
  5451. >The article goes on to assuage any fears of the markings having anything to do with Nightmare Moon's return
  5452. >They also keep comparing your dick to things ranging from a jumping bean to a triple-A battery
  5453. >There's even a quote by Princess Twilight
  5454. >'Whatever the markings may be, they're certainly very small, and I don't feel that they're big enough to pose any danger to any pony, or even make them feel anything at all.'
  5455. That's bullshit! I told them all that it was cold out!
  5456. >Fluttershy taps you on the thigh
  5457. What?! I was naked! What?!
  5458. >"Look," she says, pointing up
  5459. >The faint moon can be seen up in the sky
  5460. >And so can your tiny shriveled dick
  5461. >You grimace at the moon
  5462. >Fluttershy taps your thigh again
  5463. >"What are you going to do?"
  5464. >You think for a moment before sighing and crumpling the paper up in your hands
  5465. You know what, I don't think I'm going to do a damn thing.
  5466. >You turn to head inside
  5467. >"Wait. Can I stay for a while?"
  5468. >You look at Fluttershy, her ears folded, and your eyes reflecting pure perception
  5469. >She smiles, thanks you and then walks inside
  5470. >"I can help you clean up a bit, you know."
  5471. >Yeah, you know
  5472. >And that's why you didn't need to say a damn thing
  5473. >The choice was obvious by now
  5474.  
  5475. end
  5476.  
  5477. and one more tune for the road
  5478. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dsi-eF6-uOY

All there was and need to know [zigzag story archive]

by ZigZagWanderer

The Growth Process

by ZigZagWanderer

A Secret Place

by ZigZagWanderer

Being Natural

by ZigZagWanderer

Counting with Pinkie Pie

by ZigZagWanderer