-
[copied from https://pastebin.com/iQ8EujHh]
-
[original author _Leaf_ ]
-
[author's pastebin https://pastebin.com/u/_Leaf_]
-
-
-
>Drunk in Equestria.
-
>You are Anon, and you're drunk.
-
>Your girlfri- uh, marefriend Coco Pommel suggested you go to the bar for the night.
-
>And after she said that maybe the XO cider was perhaps a bit too strong for males to be drinking-
-
>Well, you sure showed her!
-
>Six mugs of XO and you're a mess.
-
>You drape an arm over Lyra.
-
"YOU PONIES ARE SOOOO MUCH FUN!"
-
>Lyra blushes and chuckles, adjusting herself below the table, "Yeah we are... How about you show us a little dance?"
-
>Her mare friends with her hoot and holler.
-
>"Dance! Dance!"
-
>Coco tries to speak up over the sudden madness of mares cheering and clanking their mugs together.
-
>"Anon, please sit down!"
-
>Her voice is drowned out.
-
>You raise a hand and bring the ogling mares to a hush.
-
"Now, now girls. There's enough of me to go around!"
-
>A random shout of "SLUT!" comes from the back of the bar.
-
>The mares begin to boo and throw things at the only stallion in the bar.
-
>What a nerd.
-
>You shuffle to the jukebox and press buttons randomly.
-
>Gotta git ur groove on tho.
-
>A song starts up.
-
>You turn back to the bar and throw your hands up.
-
"I LOOOOOVE THIS SONG!"
-
>The mares erupt in cheers and whistles as you start shakin' your booty.
-
>You can see Coco covering her face at the bar.
-
>She hates it when you have fun.
-
>"Take off your shirt!" Octavia shouts and throws some bits on the ground at your feet.
-
>You oblige and pull your shirt off, spinning it like a helicopter around your head as your hips gyrate.
-
>Suddenly, mares are throwing bits like crazy.
-
>Looks like your bar tab is paid for.
-
>"Shake it, boy! Take those pants off!"
-
>The shower of bits increase along with the shouts to remove your pants.
-
>Making money in Equestria is so easy!
-
>These mares can't wait to give you their cash, and all you have to do is have fun.
-
>You could get used to this.
-
>Maybe not Coco though.
-
>She's just a prude.
-
>After you make her a hefty amount of fun money, she'll understand.
-
-
00000000000000000000000000
-
-
>Lyra's face is about to crack.
-
>You know she wants to laugh as she rings up your order.
-
>Why are mares so fucking immature here?
-
>All you want to do is make your purchase and go the fuck home.
-
>Too bad your cashier is Lyra.
-
>"Mphh... Busy uh... Busy night tonight, Anon?"
-
>Now other mares doing their shopping are stopping to stare.
-
>Some are snickering.
-
>You can hear their not-so-discreet whispers.
-
>"Is he buying condoms?!"
-
>"What kind of mare makes her stallion buy the condoms?"
-
>"What a slut!"
-
>"Aren't those the extra-small stallion condoms?"
-
>Lyra finally finishes ringing you up.
-
>"That'll be six bits, slugger."
-
>Now she's grinning ear to ear.
-
>You throw some bits at her and shove the box of extra-small stallion condoms in your pocket.
-
>Turning, you announce to all the watching mares.
-
"Yes, I'm buying condoms! Me, a male! Because that's how shit should work, but your society is all fucked in the head with gender roles! And for your information, I'm buying these so I can have sex with my WIFE, COCO POMMEL! I'm not a slut and I want to be safe, because I don't know if I can get ponies pregnant!"
-
>You start to walk out.
-
"And also, they may be extra small, but call me when you can find a stallion that lasts longer than thirty seconds!"
-
>There's an awkward silence in the store as you stomp toward the exit.
-
>Then the place is filled with laughter and cat calls from mares.
-
>Fuck this place.
-
>Sexist fucking ponies.
-
-
00000000000000000000000000
-
-
>"APPLEJACK, COME ON!"
-
>Rainbow Dash keeps flying back to yell at you, but you're galloping as fast as you can.
-
"Ah'm goin' fast as ah can!"
-
>You haven't seen Rainbow this worked up since that dragon horde attacked.
-
>You hope Twilight is on her way as well...
-
>Finally you arrive to where Dash is hovering.
-
"What's the fuss?!"
-
>Rainbow Dash is breathing just as heavy as you.
-
>Looks like she's brought you to the park.
-
>She points to a park bench twenty feet away.
-
>"LOOK!"
-
>You see Anon sitting on a bench with Coco Pommel laying her head in his lap.
-
>He's stroking her mane.
-
>Several ponies are staring at the two.
-
"Rainbow, why would ya make such a fuss over nothin'?!"
-
>Rainbow Dash looks mortified.
-
>"Look! Isn't that WEIRD?!"
-
>You grit your teeth and look back at the couple.
-
>Now that she mentions it, that IS weird.
-
"Why's she all sissy with that stalli- er, male?"
-
>This is the first time you've seen a mare submit like a stallion in public.
-
>You admit, in your filly years, this was one of your more frequently "used" little fantasies.
-
>But seeing it in real life was just...
-
"Not right... That ain't right."
-
>Rainbow Dash seems even more enthralled by Coco's public display of submission than you.
-
>"She's just laying there taking it! What the hay?!"
-
>What ponies do in their bedrooms is between them.
-
>But in public, well...
-
>You're a bit old fashioned.
-
"Y'ALL BETTER S-STOP THAT!"
-
>Not your best, but it gets their attention.
-
>You shake your hoof at them.
-
"EVERYPONY'S WATCHIN', KEEP YER SICK FETISHES IN THE BEDROOM!"
-
>Anon looks at Coco, shrugs, then goes back to scratching her behind the ears.
-
>She seems to be in absolute bliss.
-
>This is absolutely degenerate.
-
"Come on Rainbow, we got a letter to write to Princess Celestia."
-
>Rainbow Dash seems to not hear your words, completely entranced by Anon and Coco's fetish-play.
-
>"Look at those fingers go..."
-
>Life is hard being a supreme gentlemare.
-
>But in time, you'll rid Ponyville of all degeneracy.
-
>Starting with that slut, Anon.
-
-
00000000000000000000000000
-
-
>Today is your birthday.
-
>Coco Pommel has really gone overboard with throwing you a party.
-
>There's a lot of ponies in your house.
-
>Actually,she invited a lot of mares...
-
>You really need to get more stallion friends.
-
>No homo.
-
>Currently, you're sitting on the couch wearing the stupid party hat that was strapped on your head.
-
>It's shaped like a unicorn horn.
-
>Isn't this lewd or something?
-
>Speaking of lewd, Twilight Velvet is sitting beside you.
-
>This fucking mare always makes you uncomfortable.
-
>And she always seems to be tipsy.
-
>Like right now.
-
>She's a little too close and a little too far down her mug of cider.
-
>Where is her husband?
-
>"How old are you now, Anon?"
-
"Like twenty-something."
-
>You look around for Coco.
-
>"Still so young... Back in the day, I would have shown you why they call me 'velvet'."
-
>She chuckles and takes a swig from her cider.
-
>You cringe and take a long drink from your own mug.
-
>How is no one else hearing this?
-
>Twilight Velvet leans closer, her cider breath tickling your nose, "It's my pussy. It's like velvet. Get it?"
-
>You lean away and adjust your tie uncomfortably.
-
"I think I see Coco! Excuse me!"
-
>You get up and hurry off into the party, looking for Coco.
-
-
>You are Twilight Velvet.
-
>It's always fun teasing Anon.
-
>You take a drink and stare at his ass as he hurries away back to his beta marefriend.
-
>How'd she manage to pull some quality ass like that?
-
>Anon would be better off with your daughter.
-
>You're happily married, but you would honestly douse Anon's face in your cum if you weren't...
-
>Well now you're all worked up.
-
>You get up to go find your husband and make him take care of this winking in the bathroom.
-
>Fucking Anon.
by kqaii
by kqaii
by kqaii
by kqaii
by kqaii