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Life In The Herd

By kqaii
Created: 2021-01-18 13:58:54
Expiry: Never
anontrixielyralunansfwcomedy

  1. >[ copied from https://pastebin.com/c06dRAuu]
  2. >[original author _LEAF_ ]
  3. >[author's pastebin https://pastebin.com/u/_Leaf_ ]
  4.  
  5.  
  6.  
  7. --------------------------(Life In The Herd)------------------------
  8.  
  9. >"'EY! GIT UR 'OOVES OFF ME CRISPS!"
  10. >Octavia slaps Trixie's hoof away from her bag of chips.
  11. >Trixie fumes, "We're in a herd now! Herds share!"
  12. >Luna levitates the bag of chips out of Octavia's hoof and dumps it's contents into her mouth with magic.
  13. >Octavia can only stare at her empty hoof in shock.
  14. >Luna swallows, crumples the bag and throws it at Octavia's head with her ever-present bored expression.
  15. >The princess then turns and goes back to her room to continue sleeping.
  16. >"WHA THA HAY?! SHE JUS ATE ALL ME CRISPS!"
  17. >Trixie looks pissed, "She thinks she can do whatever she wants because she's the alpha mare. She's a bitch!"
  18. >Lyra pulls on your sleeve and you look down.
  19. >"Hey Anon? I wanted to talk to you about something. Concerning our sleeping arrangement, I feel like Trixie gets too many cuddles and the rest of us don't get enough?"
  20. >Trixie snorts and opens another bag of chips, "That's because Trixie is the greatest cuddler!"
  21. >Lyra tugs on your sleeve again.
  22. >"Also, I clogged the toilet again and I don't know how to fix it..."
  23.  
  24. >They're eating all your food.
  25. >They're spending all of your money.
  26. >They never clean up.
  27. >They're loud.
  28. >Luna sleeps at all fucking hours.
  29. >Octavia is ALWAYS screaming.
  30. >Trixie is a massive bitch to anyone but you.
  31. >And Lyra breaks everything she touches.
  32. >Whoever said making a herd was a great idea should be fucking shot.
  33. >You sit on the ground, put your face in your hands and begin to sob.
  34. >This is your life now.
  35. >Your 'B-squad' herd.
  36. >"LUNA!" Octavia screams.
  37. >"OI, LUNA WAKE UP! WE 'AVTA SNUGGLE ANON, EE'S CRYIN' AGAIN!"
  38.  
  39.  
  40. --------------------------(Life In The Herd: Bath)
  41.  
  42. >Sweat beads on your forehead as you pound as hard as you can into Luna from behind.
  43. >This is the only real win you can think of when it comes to your motley herd.
  44. >The sex.
  45. >This is where you get to vent your frustration.
  46. >Luna's flanks jiggle as you pump in and out of her.
  47. >You grunt and squeeze her cutie marks until your knuckles are white.
  48. >Luna (as usual) seems rather bored.
  49. >She's currently balancing the check book as you fuck her from behind.
  50. >Her passive expression is only broken when she yawns.
  51. >If you don't finish soon, she'll fall asleep again...
  52. >Suddenly, Lyra is poking your arm.
  53. >God dammit.
  54. "What?"
  55. >You glare at her, still going hard inside Luna.
  56. >Didn't you lock the door to Luna's room?
  57. >"Hey Anon, good form by the way, uh... Anyway, I was just going to say that Trixie decided to move the television into her room."
  58. "What?"
  59. >You begin to cum and bend over Luna's back, taking a handful of her mane just as she falls asleep.
  60. >Lyra rubs her head, "Yeah, I didn't tell her that I broke it though. Oh, I broke the TV by the way... What should we do?"
  61. >You pull out of Luna and wipe your forehead.
  62. >Octavia bursts into the room.
  63. >"ANON! SOMEONE KNICKED THE DAMN TELE! I JUS' CALLED THE POLICE!"
  64. >There's a knock on the front door.
  65. >Without a word, you get off the bed and go to the kitchen.
  66. >Lyra and Octavia follow you and you can hear the sound of the TV being smashed in Trixie's room.
  67. >You unplug the toaster and walk down the hall.
  68. >"Anon? Where are you going?" Lyra asks.
  69. >You open the door to the bathroom and plug the toaster in with a sigh.
  70. "To take a bath."
  71.  
  72.  
  73. --------------------------(Life In The Herd: Shopping)
  74.  
  75. >Luna plods along beside you as you walk down the isles of the grocery store, checking your list.
  76. >She looks tired, even though she just slept for 14 hours.
  77. >At least she has a serene smile on her face.
  78. >You like it when Luna is happy.
  79. >Octavia dumps about 5 bags of chips into the cart.
  80. >"DON' FORGET ME CRISPS, EH?"
  81. >She even fucking yells in public.
  82. >Other ponies are staring.
  83. >Your eye twitches.
  84. "Only two bags. Put the rest back."
  85. >Octavia looks crestfallen.
  86. >"Wanker..."
  87. >Trixie suddenly points to a shelf.
  88. >She insisted on riding in the cart, throwing a tantrum when Lyra said she wanted to ride.
  89. >"Anon, we must get pop tarts."
  90. "We don't need fucking pop tarts."
  91. >"We NEED pop tarts."
  92. "Trixie, last time I got you pop tarts, you said you hated them. There's still a box in the pantry at home."
  93. >She grabs them anyway and slams them into the cart, crushing the chips.
  94. >"Trixie changed her mind."
  95. >You squeeze your eyes shut and head for the alcohol isle.
  96. >Sweet, sweet alcohol.
  97. "Luna, do you want some more wine?"
  98. >The princess yawns and nods, giving you a pat on the butt.
  99. >"Mr. Anonymous?"
  100. >You stop, your heart dropping.
  101. >The voice coming from the speakers above you sounds worried.
  102. >"If there is a Mr. Anonymous in the store, can you please come to the seafood section?"
  103. >From the back of the store you hear the smashing of glass.
  104. >A lot of glass.
  105. >Ponies scream.
  106. >A mare comes running past you with a lobster pinching her snout.
  107. >"THERE'S LOBSTERS EVERYWHERE!"
  108. >Trixie shakes her head.
  109. >"You should have let Lyra ride in the cart, Anon."
  110. >Octavia slams a 50 pound bag of oats into the cart.
  111. >"GOTTA 'AVE ME OATS!"
  112. >This is your life.
  113.  
  114.  
  115. --------------------------(Life In The Herd: Movie Night)
  116.  
  117. >The only time Octavia shuts her mouth is when she has your dick in it.
  118. >And currently she does.
  119. >The mare sure can suck a mean cock.
  120. >Sounds of her wet work full the living room.
  121. >You rest your head propped up on one hand with the other on the back of Octavia's head and grumble.
  122. "Trixie, turn it up."
  123. >Trixie grabs the remote and raises the volume on the new TV.
  124. >It's movie night.
  125. >You sit with your herd on the couch, watching some horror flick.
  126. >Luna is actually awake and eating popcorn while she watches with half-lidded eyes.
  127. >Trixie has been bitching about how stupid the movie is, even though she picked it.
  128. >Lyra is holding a pillow to her chest, scared shitless.
  129. >Octavia lets your dick go with an exhale and flips around, mounting you so she can watch the movie.
  130. >"WAT R U DOIN' U DAFT CUNT?! DON'T GO INTO THE CELLAR!" She screams at the TV.
  131. >You push her head out of your field of vision and grab her hips, slamming them down.
  132. >Suddenly the television goes black, sending the room into complete darkness.
  133. >Lyra screams, hurting your ears.
  134. >Octavia falls off of you, bending your dick into a painful angle.
  135. >You roar in frustration.
  136. "Luna! Did you pay the power bill?"
  137. >Silence fills the room.
  138. >There's a loud crash.
  139. >Your new TV has just been smashed again.
  140. >Trixie's frustrated voice comes through the dark, "This piece of garbage is broken!"
  141. >"We may have forgotten to pay the power bill..." Luna mumbles.
  142. >"Anon?"
  143. >You can feel Lyra shivering beside you on the couch.
  144. "What... What is it?"
  145. >"Uhm, I got scared when it got dark."
  146. "So I heard."
  147. >"And I... I accidentally peed."
  148. >You can feel a headache coming.
  149. >Octavia stumbles around, bumping into things.
  150. >"ANON! ANON I FINK I'M BLIND! U DICK'D ME EYES BLIND!"
  151.  
  152.  
  153. --------------------------(Life In The Herd: Dog)
  154.  
  155. >It's a fine morning in Ponyville.
  156. >The sun comes shining through your bedroom window.
  157. >Trixie's mane brushes your face.
  158. >You pull her closer and wrap your arms around her belly.
  159. >She mumbles happily.
  160. >From the living room, you hear the sound of a dog barking and Octavia shouting.
  161. >Your eyes bolt open, staring at the ceiling.
  162. "No... No. Fuck. No."
  163. >Trixie sighs and sits up, "Trixie will take care of this one."
  164. >You roll over and pull Luna close to your body instead as Trixie leaves the room grumbling.
  165. >Shouts from Trixie come from the living room and you hear something smash.
  166. >Now you have to get up.
  167. >Luna whines as you get up and put on your robe.
  168. >You go into the living room.
  169. "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON OUT HERE?!"
  170. >There's a dog on the coffee table, eating pizza that Lyra left out last night.
  171. >Trixie is currently on top of Octavia on the ground, beating the shit out of her.
  172. >Octavia laughs, "U HIT LIKE A LIL' FILLY!"
  173. >Reaching down, you grab Trixie and throw her onto the couch.
  174. "Octavia, why the fuck is there a fucking dog in the fucking house?!"
  175. >She wipes a bit of blood from the corner of her mouth and sits up.
  176. >"It followed me home. I was jus' at the bar an' he liked me smell or sumffin'. Thought we could use a pet."
  177. >Trixie tries to jump on her again, "YOU are our pet!"
  178. >You hold her back.
  179. "Get rid of it. Now."
  180. >Lyra comes from out of nowhere holding her butterfly net, "I'll take care of it!"
  181. "NO!"
  182. >Before you can stop her, she swings.
  183. >The hard part of the net hits the dog in the head.
  184. >It yelps and falls off the table.
  185. >You stare at it's motionless body.
  186. "Is it..."
  187. >Trixie reaches down and places a hoof on its neck.
  188. >"Thing's dead."
  189. >Lyra looks horrified.
  190. >"I didn't... I didn't mean to..."
  191. >"U KILLED ME DOG! U BITCH!" Octavia tackles Lyra and begins wailing on her.
  192. >Trixie jumps in, trying to choke Octavia.
  193. >You pick up the dead dog and take it out back to bury it.
  194. >Next to the other animals Octavia has brought home.
  195.  
  196.  
  197. --------------------------(Life In The Herd: Punishment)
  198.  
  199. >Lyra grips the sheets and turns her head to the side, her tongue flopping out.
  200. >"Ohhhhh Anon! You're the best!"
  201. >You press down on her belly and slowly pull your cock out of her, then slowly slide it back in.
  202. >Lyra likes it slow.
  203. >She flails her head side to side and bites her lip, "You're driving my insides crazy! I think... Ugh! I think you're gonna get me pregnant!"
  204. >You stop.
  205. >Turning, you give Luna a worried expression.
  206. "Can I get ponies pregnant?"
  207. >Luna shakes her head lazily, looking down on Lyra, who is still spazzing out.
  208. >"We think not."
  209. "Good."
  210. >You go back to fucking Lyra while Luna watches.
  211. >Suddenly, Lyra is pushed aside and Trixie takes her place, trying to wrangle your dick inside of her.
  212. >"Trixie will be the first to be bred!"
  213. >Octavia pops up onto the bed and yells next to your ear, "OI! HOW COME U 'AVN'T PUT UR WILLY IN ME BUM FOR SO LONG?!"
  214. >You smack Trixie's hoof away and scream.
  215. "THAT'S IT!"
  216.  
  217. >Trixie, Octavia and Lyra are all tied up to the headrest of the bed.
  218. >Their tails have been tied up as well, presenting all of their holes to you.
  219. >You slap a wooden paddle against your palm.
  220. "It's time all of you received some punishment."
  221. >And an angry orgy would help with your frustration as well.
  222. >Lyra looks back with tears in her eyes, "But I didn't do anything!"
  223. >You place a ball gag in her mouth.
  224. >Turning to Luna, you hand her a second paddle.
  225. "Ready?"
  226. >She smears some lube onto her horn, takes the paddle and eyes Octavia's ass.
  227. >"Whenever you are, Anon."
  228. >Sometimes herding is fun.
  229.  
  230.  
  231. --------------------------(Life In The Herd: New Mare)
  232.  
  233. >You have been talking with Luna about getting a new mare in the herd.
  234. >These ponies are driving you crazy.
  235. >Maybe if you can get a normal one, it will help balance things out.
  236. >Luna agrees.
  237. >"Of course," She says, "As per this herd's rules, we will have to watch you breed the mare and give our approval for her to enter into contract."
  238. "Yeah, yeah. I know what your weird fetish is. And it's not breeding."
  239. >"Tis not a fetish, Anon. Tis the greatest fetish."
  240. >The two of you go to the Herd Assignment Center.
  241. >The receptionist greets you, "How can I help you, Anon?"
  242. "I need a new mare in my herd, any available?"
  243. >You place the bits for the fee on the counter.
  244. "Any NORMAL mares?"
  245. >The receptionist flips through some files.
  246. >"Yes! We have one mare that put in an application. I will notify her and send her to your home by tomorrow."
  247. >You thank her and head home.
  248. "I hope this works out..."
  249. >"We hope this one is a squirter..." Luna muses.
  250.  
  251. >The next morning, there's a gentle knock on the door.
  252. "She's here!"
  253. >You scramble to the door and open it.
  254. "Hello!"
  255. >You look down.
  256. >There's a filly standing on your porch.
  257. "Oh. Can I help you, little girl?"
  258. >She pulls a scroll from her little saddle bag, "Hello! My name is Sweetie Belle and I'm here to be part of your herd!"
  259. >You blink.
  260. >Is this a joke?
  261. >She shows you the official scroll.
  262. >Luna pokes her head over your shoulder and looks down at Sweetie Belle.
  263. >"And you said OUR fetish was weird..."
  264. >Octavia slaps your back and drains the rest of her morning beer.
  265. >"U SHAGGIN' LIL' FILLIES NOW, MATE? HAHA WOT THE FUCK?"
  266. >Sweetie Belle trots between your legs into the house.
  267. >"Wait 'til my sister hears about this awesome place!"
  268.  
  269.  
  270. --------------------------(Life In The Herd: New Mare 2)
  271.  
  272. >The Herd Assignment Company gave you a full refund.
  273. >Sweetie Belle was sent back to her sister and scolded.
  274. >There was no way you were going to have a filly in your herd.
  275. >You wait at the table with Trixie.
  276. >In apology for their mix up, the herd company is sending another mare your way.
  277. >Trixie was very angry about the mix up.
  278. >She's currently in a post-tantrum sleep, drooling on your arm as you stroke her head.
  279. >If you had gone to jail for filly fiddling, she had the most to lose.
  280. >It would be back to the cuck shed (your name for her old cart) for her.
  281. >There's a knock on the door and you go to answer.
  282. "Hello?"
  283. >Standing on your porch is a beautiful unicorn.
  284. >She has a silky pink mane and her pure white coat sparkles in the morning sun.
  285. >You can't believe your eyes.
  286. >They bulge and scan her long delicate legs.
  287. >She gives a wave, "Elloooo~"
  288. >Oh god, she has an accent!
  289. >"My name iz Fleur De Liz..." She mumbles and stumbles to the side a bit.
  290. >You notice her face is flushed and reach out to steady her.
  291. >As you grab her hoof, she burps
  292. >And sprays your shirt in vomit.
  293. >You jump back as she falls onto the porch.
  294. >"Oh, I am zo zorry! I waz zo nervouz and maybe I drink too much before I come..."
  295. >Fleur drifts into a drunken sleep.
  296. >Octavia pushes past you, grabs Fleur, and drags her inside.
  297. >"OI! GIRLS, WE GOT A LIVE ONE! LET'S BREAK 'ER IN!"
  298. >You grind your teeth and grab Fleur's bag off the porch to bring in.
  299. >It makes a lot of noise.
  300. >You open it up to find it filled with several bottles of alcohol.
  301. >They sent you an alcoholic.
  302. >Of course.
  303. "Why would anything good ever happen here?"
  304.  
  305.  
  306. --------------------------(Life In The Herd: Fleur De Plz)
  307.  
  308. >You are currently out on a date at a restaurant with the new addition to your herd.
  309. >Luna has stayed at home to keep an eye on the other ponies.
  310. >She's actually most likely asleep.
  311. >Fleur sits on the opposite side of the table, drinking a glass of wine.
  312. >Alcoholic or not, this unicorn is a serious looker.
  313. >She reads the menu and gives a little hiccup, brushing her pretty mane from her eyes.
  314. >You can't stop staring.
  315. >It's almost as if she's too pretty for you to think about defiling...
  316. >Nah, you're totally going to wreck her ass.
  317. >Tonight.
  318. "So, Fleur. What do you like to do in your free time?"
  319. >She smiles at you and sips her wine.
  320. >"I am very interezted in ze exotic danzing. Zer iz a local club where I am frequent danzer."
  321. >You almost choke on the water you're drinking.
  322. "E-Exotic dancing? Like... What?"
  323. >Fleur giggles and twirls a hoof, "You know, like ze um... Twirl around ze pole and ze stallionz go 'WOW!' and throw ze money at me?"
  324. >She's a stripper.
  325. >A fucking pony stripper.
  326. "I see... Um, is that all you do? Just... Dance?"
  327. >She gives a seductive look.
  328. >"Oh no. Ze cuztomer will require more... Perzonal releaze occazzionally."
  329. >Nope.
  330. >Fleur sputters with laughter and covers her mouth.
  331. >"I am only joking, Anon! Your faze! It iz too cute!"
  332. >Your stomach un-knots.
  333. "Oh thank god! Haha, I thought you were serious! I can't see you actually being a stripper!"
  334. >Fleur finishes her wine.
  335. >"Oh, I really am ze exotic danzer. I am zcheduled to danze tonight, actually."
  336. >Your smile drops.
  337. >Fleur holds up her glass and shouts in the direction of the waiter.
  338. >"More wine pleaze! Can you juz bring ze bottle?"
  339. >Trailer trash.
  340. >Your whole herd is trailer trash.
  341.  
  342.  
  343. --------------------------(Life In The Herd: Drunk Asshole)
  344.  
  345. >You are drunk.
  346. >It's Friday night and you need to decompress from work at the factory.
  347. >And from your abysmal herd.
  348. >Speaking of them, all your girls surround you on the couch as you drink away misery.
  349. >Luna and Fleur sit on either side of you.
  350. >Trixie is curled up on your lap.
  351. >Lyra is beside Luna, and Octavia comes from the kitchen, giving you another beer.
  352. "Thanks, Octavia."
  353. >She plops down beside Fleur and joins everyone in staring at the TV.
  354. >It's not on.
  355. >You take a long drink of beer and sigh.
  356. "Fuck, man. Fuck..."
  357. >Trixie stirs, "Anon, this is fun and all... But can we watch a movie or something?"
  358. >You gulp another drink.
  359. "No. We're gonna sit here and enjoy silence. Fucking. Silence."
  360. >You grab Fleur and pull her closer to you.
  361. >She smells like cheap booze and stripper.
  362. >Octavia speaks into Fleur's ear, "'EY, I DON'T ENVY U. ANON TURNS INTO A RIGHT ARSEHOLE WHEN 'E DRINKS HAHA! GONNA TEAR UR ARSE UP, I FINK."
  363. >It's true.
  364. >You can be a bit rough when inebriated.
  365. >And you haven't had sex with Fleur.
  366. >But you're very sore from work.
  367. "Nah, I think i'm just gonna drink and go to bed tonight."
  368. >There's a palpable tension in the room.
  369. >Trixie raises her eyebrow, "No... Sex?"
  370. >You shake your head.
  371. "I need another beer."
  372. >Luna picks you up with magic.
  373. "HEY! WHAT THE FUCK!?"
  374. >She takes you off the couch and toward the bedroom.
  375. >"We were all expecting to be pleasured tonight, Anon."
  376. >The girls all follow.
  377. >"It's your duty to the herd."
  378. >"OI! LYRA, GRAB THE LUBE!"
  379. >You see Trixie grab a candle from the table and light it.
  380. "Wait!"
  381. >They're not listening.
  382. >It's a sex frenzy brewing.
  383. "Grab me another beer!"
  384. >"I GOT U MATE! I GOT THE CRISPS TOO!"
  385. >Another usual Friday night in the herd.
  386.  
  387.  
  388. --------------------------(Life In The Herd: Like A Virgin)
  389.  
  390. >Fleur twirls gracefully around the pole in front of you.
  391. >Her tail just barely grazes your nose and you clap.
  392. >Tonight, you've come to see Fleur dance.
  393. >Luna has come as well.
  394. >As your alpha mare, she felt compelled to come to "protect you from whores," as she put it.
  395. >Though, her presence is a bit troublesome.
  396. >Seeing the Princess in the club has made several stallions come and ask if she was here to dance.
  397. >The song finishes and Fleur bends down on stage to pick up the money thrown to her.
  398. >"Anon, come backztage. I will take you to my drezzing room." She winks and rushes off.
  399. >Finishing your drink, you adjust your semi-chub and get up.
  400. >Luna follows you backstage.
  401. >Once in Fleur's room, she gives you a small bag.
  402. >Opening it, you see it holds several bits.
  403. "What is this?"
  404. >Fleur brushes her mane in front of a mirror, "Zis iz your cut, az they call it. Zince you are the herd patriarch, it iz my duty to 'elp zupport you. Az you do for me."
  405. >A herd member actually GIVING you money?
  406. >Noice.
  407. "Well thank you, Fleur. Your dancing was amazing too!"
  408. >Fleur sets down her brush.
  409. >"I am zo happy to hear you enjoy my danze!"
  410. >God, she's pretty.
  411. >"Now will we have zome fun?"
  412. >She's fun.
  413. >"I alwayz wanted to loze my virginity in zome alleyway. Iz zis fine?"
  414. >She opens a door.
  415. >Outside is the back alley of the strip club.
  416. >"Zere iz a large dumpzter zat will keep uz hidden from view, ya?"
  417. >She's classy.
  418. >You sigh.
  419. "Is this REALLY what you want?"
  420. >Fleur nods giddily.
  421. "Alright then..."
  422. >What a weird mare.
  423. >You follow her along with Luna into the alley.
  424. "Are you really a virgin?"
  425. >Fleur puts her front hooves on the dumpster and looks back at you, flipping her tail over her back.
  426. >"Come find out."
  427. >You shrug and unbutton your pants.
  428. >It's not like there is much difference between trailer trash and real trash.
  429. >This is your life.
  430.  
  431.  
  432. --------------------------(Life In The Herd: Saturday)
  433.  
  434. >It's Saturday morning in your happy little home.
  435. >Once again, your headphones have gone missing.
  436. >You suspect Octavia borrowed them again.
  437. >You open the door to your room.
  438. >Luna has Fleur pinned against the wall.
  439. >You'd think they were fighting.
  440. >If Luna didn't have her tongue down Fleur's throat.
  441. >They stop making out and stare at you.
  442. "Uh, what's... What's going on in here?"
  443. >Fleur wipes her mouth, "I am teaching the prinzezz 'ow to danze!"
  444. >You slowly back out and close the door.
  445. "Carry on."
  446. >Still bummed about your headphones, you head to the living room and sit down on the couch beside Lyra.
  447. >She's messily eating a bowl of cereal and watching her Saturday morning cartoons.
  448. "Hey Lyra. Have you seen my headphones?"
  449. >She's clearly high on her sugary cereal.
  450. >"Nope. Do you want some?"
  451. >She presses a spoonful of soggy mess in your face.
  452. "No thanks."
  453. >Octavia flops down and takes the remote, changing the channel.
  454. >"NO FILLY CRAP ON THE TELE!"
  455. >Lyra slaps her and takes the remote back, "IT'S MY TURN! ANON! TELL HER IT'S MY TURN!"
  456. "Octavia, have you seen my headphones?"
  457. >Octavia pushes Lyra off the couch and claims the remote.
  458. >"Nah. Did u check ur bedroom?"
  459. "Yeah. Shit..."
  460. >All you want to do is listen to some tunes.
  461. >Trixie walks into the room.
  462. >"Anon, Luna and Fleur are making a disgusting mess all over your bed. Do you want me to stop them?"
  463. >You rub your chin.
  464. "I swear I left them on the coffee table..."
  465. >There's a loud moan from down the hall.
  466. >Trixie's eyes grow big, "Was that Luna? Anon, I'm going to join in."
  467. >She leaves and Octavia gets up.
  468. >"Yeah, me too. Nothing good on tele anyway."
  469. >She throws the remote at Lyra, who happily turns cartoons back on.
  470. "Maybe I left them at work?"
  471. >"ANON! GET IN HERE! U WON'T BELIEVE WOT LUNA FIT INSIDE HER SNATCH! BLOODY 'ELL!"
  472. >Lyra bounces up and down on the couch beside you.
  473. "Can't believe I lost those things..."
  474. >No tunes today.
  475. >Looks like it will be a rather boring Saturday.
  476.  
  477.  
  478. --------------------------(Life In The Herd: Proper Head)
  479.  
  480. >"YE, U LIKE THAT? U LIKE IT WHEN I POLISH UR KNOB LIKE A SLUT?"
  481. "Octavia, please don't say anything."
  482. >"Oh, right. Just suckin' then."
  483. >She goes back to giving you head.
  484. >The girl has a voice like spoons in a trash disposal, but she sucks dick like no other.
  485. >You lean your head back onto your pillow and enjoy the ride.
  486. >She stops again, but only to spit on your shaft, rub it and continue.
  487. >"Yeah Tavi! Suck it good!" Lyra shouts from her seat at the foot of the bed.
  488. >Octavia stops to glare, "WOT THE 'ELL U FINK I'M DOIN'!?"
  489. >Fuck.
  490. >You grab Octavia's head and push it back down.
  491. >Trixie grumbles from right next to your head, "Trixie sucks Anon much better than that."
  492. >Luna's dreamy voice comes from the other side of your head, "You use far too much teeth. And not nearly enough saliva, as Anon likes."
  493. >Fleur speaks up from her seat beside the bed, "Zis remindz me of ze time a ztallion at ze club waz kicked out for trying to zuck ze malez off in ze bazroom. Heehee~"
  494. >You let out a loud sigh.
  495. "Will you all let me have a moment of peace? I'm trying to fucking cum here!"
  496. >Octavia stops sucking again.
  497. >"U wanna cum? WHY DIDN'T U SAY SO?"
  498. >Without warning, she begins pressing her hoof hard against your ass hole.
  499. >You slap her hoof away.
  500. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
  501. >"TRYIN' TA FIDDLE UR PROSTATE, WOT THE FUCK IT LOOK LIKE, MATE!?"
  502. >You kick all of the girls out of your room.
  503. >Sometimes it's better to pleasure yourself.
  504. >You masturbate in anger as your herd argues outside your door.
  505. "This can't be healthy."
  506.  
  507.  
  508. --------------------------(Life In The Herd: Birthday)
  509.  
  510. >"It's Anon's birthday this weekend, so I was thinking we all chip in and get him one great present." Trixie tells the rest of the herd.
  511. >Lyra smiles, "I already got him something."
  512. >The girls turn on her.
  513. >Luna looms over the unicorn, "Oh? What did you get him?"
  514. >Lyra's ears flatten, "Just... Some headphones..."
  515. >Trixie fumes, "Why do you always have to one-up us? Are you trying to be the favorite?"
  516. >Octavia flicks Lyra's horn, "U FINK WE DON'T KNOW WOT UR TRYIN'?"
  517. >Lyra covers her horn and backs away, "I-I'm not trying anything! Stop bullying me..."
  518. >"We could juz put all our namez on ze headphonez," Fleur offers.
  519. >Trixie nods, "Good idea, new slut. That's what we'll do. Now, what else are we going to get him?"
  520. >"I bought the headphones..." Lyra mutters.
  521. >Luna silences her with a glare.
  522. >"What if we take Anon for a vacation? Maybe the moon?"
  523. >Trixie rubs her chin in thought.
  524. >"Not a bad idea. But not the moon. That place is awful."
  525. >Luna is triggered.
  526. >"WE SHOULD TAKE THE LAD 2 THE BEACH, YE?"
  527. >The girls all begin to babble about Octavia's idea.
  528. >"We can get ze zuim zoots!"
  529. >"ALWAYS WANTED ANON 2 PUT 'IS WILLY IN ME ON THE BEACH DESU!"
  530. >"I'm still saying the headphones were from me..."
  531. >Trixie clops her hooves, "Then it's settled! We'll take Anon to the beach. Now, how much money do you all have?"
  532. >Silence.
  533. >Fleur is the only one to offer some.
  534. >Lyra shrugs, "Spent it all on the headphones."
  535. >Luna reaches in to the drawer behind her, "There should be almost enough bits in here."
  536. >"That's Anon's secret stash!"
  537. >You burst in through the door, scaring them all.
  538. "I can hear every fucking thing you're saying! Get the fuck out of my sock drawer!"
  539. >The ponies all scatter like spooked cats.
  540. "AND STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM!"
  541. >You slam the door behind them.
  542. >What a bunch of idiots.
  543. >You smile.
  544. >It's very nice that they're working together though.
  545. >Even if your birthday was actually last weekend and they forgot.
  546. >At least they try.
  547.  
  548.  
  549. --------------------------(Life In The Herd: The Shower Scene)
  550.  
  551. >Trixie lets out a sigh of comfort as you lather shampoo into her mane from behind.
  552. >The two of you are showering.
  553. >One of the herd rules (made by Trixie) is that she's the only one who gets to bathe with you.
  554. >It's a good way to spend some time spoiling her.
  555. >And for sex.
  556. >As you lather, you slide in and out of her from behind.
  557. "I really do spoil you the most."
  558. >You take time to make sure every bit of hair is washed.
  559. >"Well obviously. Trixie is the spoiled one. Luna get's the most time with you."
  560. "She's the most sane. And she was also my girlfriend before we even started this herd."
  561. >"Octavia is the one you have fun with most."
  562. "She's like a dude in a female body though."
  563. >"Lyra is the pampered one. You coddle her too much."
  564. "She's the youngest. Barely out of her filly years... And she's a walking disaster."
  565. >Trixie grabs you with her insides, making you cum.
  566. >You bend over and grunt against her wet flanks.
  567. >She turns her head back and smiles smugly, "And Fleur... I can already tell you enjoy sex with her most."
  568. >You pull out and grab the shower spray.
  569. "Rinse."
  570. >Trixie closes her eyes and lets you rinse her mane.
  571. "She's super flexible... Did you know she can-"
  572. >You're cut off by a sickening smell hitting your nose.
  573. "What the?"
  574. >Ripping the shower curtain back, you see Lyra staring at you from the toilet.
  575. >"Sorry! I couldn't hold it!"
  576. >Trixie throws a bar of soap at her, "GET OUT! THIS IS MY TIME!"
  577. >Lyra jumps up and flushes the toilet before running out of the bathroom.
  578. >"I'm sorry!"
  579. >Suddenly the water is molten hot.
  580. >Both you and Trixie stumble and fall out of the shower.
  581. >"Anon, how sad would you be if Lyra died?"
  582. "It smells like her insides already have..."
  583.  
  584.  
  585. --------------------------(Life In The Herd: Postponed)
  586.  
  587. >Luna has received a letter.
  588. >From her sister.
  589. >The sister she is not on good terms with.
  590. >Ever since Luna decided to leave her royal status to start a herd with you, the sisters have had somewhat of a falling out.
  591. >Celestia had begged her to stay.
  592. >You had told Luna it was probably better to stay.
  593. >But she wouldn't be reasoned with and had left Canterlot.
  594. >This is actually the first time Celestia has even acknowledged Luna since.
  595. >The two of you eye the letter laying on the table.
  596. "Are you gonna open it?"
  597. >Luna shifts uncomfortably, "Yes. No... Yes."
  598. >She picks up the letter with magic and opens it.
  599. >You watch her with bated breath as she reads.
  600. >It's impossible to read her face.
  601. "What's it say?"
  602. >Luna closes her eyes and sets the letter down with a sigh.
  603. >"We are sorry, Anon. Our trip to the beach will have to be postponed..."
  604. >Her voice is grave.
  605. "That's okay, what's up?"
  606. >Luna gulps.
  607. >"Celestia has invited us to the castle for a summer ball."
  608. >A ball?
  609. >She invited her sister?
  610. "That's great! It sounds like she wants to see you again."
  611. >Luna nods, "Yes... It would appear so."
  612. "Why do you sound so sad then?"
  613. >Luna covers her face.
  614. >"She has invited all of us. The whole herd."
  615. >You look down.
  616. "The whole herd... In Canterlot. For a fancy ball..."
  617. >Luna nods gravely.
  618. "Fuck..."
  619.  
  620.  
  621.  
  622. --------------------------(Life In The Herd: The Lads)
  623.  
  624. "OCTAVIAAAAA!"
  625. >You stand in front of the couch, hyperventilating.
  626. >Octavia walks out of the kitchen, eating from a bag of chips.
  627. >"Wass up?"
  628. >You point to the couch.
  629. "What the FUCK is this!?"
  630. >Pinkie Pie is sleeping on the couch with a mostly empty bottle of vodka.
  631. >"Thas' Pinkie Pie, luv."
  632. "I KNOW WHO THE FUCK SHE IS! WHY IS SHE ON MY FUCKING COUCH!?"
  633. >Octavia rolls her eyes, "Well, u see... I was at the pub last night throwin' back some drinks with the lads, roit?"
  634. >You cut her off.
  635. "Who the fuck are these "lads" you always talk about?"
  636. >"Well, there's Pinkie Pie-"
  637. "Of course."
  638. >"And u got Applejack-"
  639. "Applejack?!"
  640. >"Roit. And uh, some dyke lookin' tramp, calls herself Rainbow Dosh."
  641. "R-Rainbow Dash?!"
  642. >Octavia shoves a hoof full of chips into her mouth, "Yeh thasit. Wassa matter?"
  643. >You pinch your nose and sigh.
  644. "I want Pinkie Pie out of this house. Right. Now."
  645. >Octavia throws her hooves up, "BUT SHE'S THE LAD! I CAN'T DO THAT!"
  646. "YOU WILL DO THAT! RIGHT NOW!"
  647. >"WOT'S UR DEAL, MATE?!"
  648.  
  649. *1 year ago*
  650.  
  651. >Pinkie Pie pulls down your pants while Rainbow and Applejack hold you down.
  652. >They're retardedly strong.
  653. >"Hey Nonny, you shouldn't wear all these clothes all the time!"
  654. >The pink pony whips off your underwear and licks her lips.
  655. >"Time to properly introduce you to Equestria!"
  656.  
  657. *End flashback*
  658.  
  659. >You cringe and look away from the pink demon that stole your pony virginity.
  660. "JUST GET HER THE FUCK OUT!"
  661. >Octavia rolls her eyes.
  662. >"The lads won't be happy 'bout this."
  663. >From now on, you will have to monitor Octavia's free time.
  664.  
  665.  
  666.  
  667. --------------------------(Life In The Herd: Dress To Kill)
  668.  
  669. >To prepare for Celestia's ball, you have taken your herd to Canterlot to shop for dresses.
  670. >Luna is the only one with proper ball attire.
  671. >You will have to rely on her to help the girls pick out their dresses.
  672. >Currently all of you are in one of Canterlot's huge fancy shops.
  673. >It's like a mall.
  674. >Too many opportunities for your herd to...
  675. >Be your herd.
  676. "Alright girls, no one leaves my sight while we're here. We're ONLY here to look for dresses and-"
  677. >You stop and look around.
  678. "Where- WHERE IS LYRA?!"
  679. >The girls all look around.
  680. >"EY ANON, U FINK WE CAN STOP FOR SUM NOSH? KINDA HUNGRY HERE, MATE."
  681. >You cringe at Octavia's loud voice.
  682. "After we find Lyra. Did anyone see where she went?"
  683. >Fleur shrugs, "We can juz continue wizout 'er. I am ready to do ze zchopping right away!"
  684. >Trixie nods, "The slut is right, Anon. Lyra is probably in a toy store or something. Let's shop!"
  685. >Wrong.
  686. >Lyra is probably inadvertently causing destruction somewhere.
  687. >You can feel the lawsuit brewing.
  688. "We're not doing SHIT until we find Lyra!"
  689. >Trixie grumbles, "Lyra ruins the day, again."
  690.  
  691. *Meanwhile at home*
  692.  
  693. >Lyra sits on the couch, eating cereal and watching cartoons.
  694. >She looks around the room, wondering why the house is so quiet.
  695. >"Hello?"
  696. >There's no answer.
  697. >Realizing she's home alone, Lyra gets up and heads to your room.
  698. >She digs through your drawers until she finds a pair of boxers and puts them on.
  699. >Feels good.
  700. >Something catches her eye.
  701. >She grabs your headphones that she bought you and puts them on her head.
  702. >"What kind of music does da- er, Anon listen to?"
  703. >She goes to your record player.
  704. >As she walks, the cord to your headphones hangs down and catches under her hoof.
  705. >She stumbles and falls, ripping the headphone cord in half and headbutting the dresser holding your record player.
  706. >"OUCH!"
  707. >Her horn chips against the hard wood.
  708. >The record player falls to the ground, smashing into several pieces.
  709. >Lyra jumps up and grabs her head.
  710. >"OH NO! I CAN FIX THIS! I CAN FIX THIS!"
  711. >She runs to the kitchen to grab the super glue and tape.
  712. >"You got this, Lyra! Anon will never know..."
  713. >The little unicorn goes back to your room with shaking hooves.
  714. >"I'll just use a bit of glue, some tape, and... Lyra magic!"
  715. >She charges her horn.
  716. >It fizzles and shoots electricity from the chipped portion.
  717. >The bed bursts into flame.
  718. >Lyra screams and runs in a circle.
  719. >"I CAN FIX THIS!"
  720. >She charges her horn again as the smoke detector begins to beep.

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