The Black Celestia Green


                                            >Be Anon E. Moose.

                                            >You've been in Equestria about a week.

                                            >Within the first few days of your arrival, all but a few of the memories from your previous world faded.

                                            >Twilight explained that this was probably your brain adapting in some way.

                                            >There's one thing you haven't let go of, though.

                                            >Celestia.

                                            >Despite not remembering your family, you have memories of her.

                                            >Her prose.

                                            >Her deep affection of her ponies.

                                            >You imagine her outline: flowing like water, sun gleaming off of her white flank.

                                            >You can mentally picture her, but you have no idea why.

                                            >According to Twilight, you had told her when you arrived that there were no talking ponies where you had come from.

                                            >Despite your desire, Celestia hasn't been able to meet with you until today.

                                            >You look ahead.

                                            >A lavender drawbridge two times your height lies across a moat.

                                            >You take a step

                                            >Your heart is starting to race.

                                            >Today is the day you meet your queen.

                                            >Goddess of /sun/

                                            >The sun, brain. Grammar.

                                            >A guard escorts you from the front of the palace, down opulent corridors and twisting geometry.

                                            >You start sweating.

                                            >Will she think you're awkward?

                                            >Will you be able to impress her?

                                            >Seemingly hours later, you arrive in front of the throne room.

                                            >Though it might have only been a few minutes.

                                            >The guard opens the door, and you walk through.

                                            >The first thing that strikes you is the room.

                                            >Teal and blue, with the ceiling of a chapel.

                                            >Columns alternated with stained glass: representations of the sun and moon.

                                            >And the goddesses who controlled them.

                                            >Your eyes are finally drawn to the two thrones, sun and moon.

                                            >Celestia.

                                            >Celestia is black.

                                            >This cannot be right.

                                            >She has exaggerated red DSL.

                                            >Her horn is an equally offensive red.

                                            >Her eyes and mane are brown and unanimated.

                                            >"You finna say somthin or jus stand there, cuh?"

                                            "I, um.."

                                            >You trail off, unable to think of anything to say.

                                            >"Nigga I ain't got all day. You thing it's easy runnin a kingdom? I'll tell you what nigga, it ain't. I work my fucking ass in this bitch. Whatchu tryna say?"

                                            "Aren't you, uh, supposed to be, like, white?"

                                            >This was apparently the wrong thing to say.

                                            >"The fuck did you just say to me, nigga?"

                                            >Her horn starts to glow as she dismounts the throne.

                                            >"You wanna fuckin step out right now?"

                                            >Black Celestia is two inches from your face, ready to charge.

                                            >Her eyes are slightly bloodshot, you assume from a lack of sleep.

                                            >She smells extremely skunky.

                                            >It's familiar, but you can't put your finger on what it is.

                                            "No, no I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

                                            >"That's what I thought, cracka. Now gechyo white ass outta here unless you wanna get sent to the hospital."

                                            >You leave the castle.

                                            >Needless to say, Celestia did not live up to your expectations.