GREEN
434
0
2072 11.7 KB 303
2072 11.7 KB 303
-
>It's hard to describe an opioid to someone who has never done one.
-
>Imagine the most comfortable you've ever been, then triple it.
-
>That's a decent estimation.
-
>The day after, your own skin feels scratchy and uncomfortable to live in.
-
>One can see how the habit forms.
-
>I don't really blame myself.
-
>Men are nothing more than genetics and environment, after all.
-
>And with my environment, and my genetics?
-
>At least I was functioning.
-
>I open the door to my apartment.
-
>Stripping to my underwear, I lie on the floor with my laptop.
-
>A quality mare for a quality gentleman.
-
>Good thing I picked up yesterday.
-
>Stash was getting low.
-
>I pack my opium pipe.
-
>Tunes:Pumping.
-
>Pipe:Smoking.
-
>Lyra:SMOKING.
-
>Me:Happy.
-
>I lean back into my escapism, entering my favorite fantasy.
-
>It plays out the same every time I imagine it.
-
>I'm laying on my back, in a void.
-
>My eyes are shut, but I don't think I would see anything even if they were open.
-
>The ground is cold.
-
>After a few minutes I hear hoof-steps approaching me.
-
>It's Lyra.
-
>She sniffs my body from my toes to my head, before settling on a favorite spot.
-
>The body part is different every time.
-
>This go, it's my neck.
-
"Look, oats!"
-
>"No Lyra, It's not oats!" I want to scream.
-
>Much like my eyes, my mouth is useless here.
-
>She leans down and takes the first bite.
-
>The bite is clean.
-
>It feels more like I am made of cake then meat and blood.
-
>I want to sit up, and shake her until she stops.
-
>I want to moan, and gasp, and scream.
-
>It hurts.
-
>Lyra takes her time.
-
>Bite by bite.
-
>A short time passes and more ponies approach.
-
>These ones are faceless, unlike Lyra.
-
>I am consumed from all directions.
-
>The pain is endless.
-
>It's wonderful.
-
"Hey?"
-
>This was wrong.
-
>There shouldn't be any voices.
-
"What the hell happened to you?"
-
>Something was interrupting your ecstasy.
-
>You open your eyes.
-
...
-
>Sunlight.
-
>Sunlight hurts.
-
>You are no longer in your apartment.
-
>More importantly, you were coming down.
-
>And sooner than usual.
-
>Your eyes adjust to your surroundings.
-
>OH SHIT
-
>A 6 foot tall, half-cat, half-bird creature is looking at you.
-
>Nothing like a massive predator to get the old juicer pumpin'.
-
>You instinctively scramble back a few feet.
-
"What, you scared of me, small fry?"
-
>Talking.
-
>It was talking.
-
>Talking means not going to eat you (hopefully).
-
>You slow your breathing.
-
>As you do, you recognize what you're seeing.
-
>It's Gilda.
-
>Gilda, from my little pony.
-
>The cartoon.
-
"Cat got your tongue? Snrk."
-
>"I'm, uh- where am I?"
-
"What, you hit your head or something?"
-
>After seeing your expression, she gives you an actual answer.
-
"Griffonstone."
-
>Well, that confirmed it.
-
>You look up at the sky.
-
>"Wow."
-
"Oh, by the way. What the fuck are you?"
-
>You look back at Gilda.
-
>"Human."
-
"Never heard of it."
-
>"I'm far away from the homeland."
-
"Why ya here then?"
-
>"Last thing I remember was being in my apartment."
-
>Gilda narrows her eyes.
-
"Musta been pony shenaniganry."
-
>"Sounds about right."
-
>You had your own suspicious about that one.
-
>Something something "I wish to travel to Equestria" something.
-
>Gilda glances at the sun.
-
"Anyway, you alright? I really should be going."
-
>"Fine, just fine. You happen to know where Ponyville is?"
-
"Ugh, I wish I didn't."
-
>She points her claw off the face of the mountain.
-
"Thataways."
-
>"Thanks."
-
"Yeah, no problem. You need a lift down the mountain? It's not out of my way."
-
>"I think I'll be alright."
-
"Alright then. See ya, human."
-
>"Bye."
-
...
-
>Be retarded.
-
>You fully regret not taking Gilda up on her offer.
-
>Damn misplaced sense of bravado and wonder.
-
>It's beginning to become night, and you're wearing nothing but your underwear.
-
>You've only made it halfway down the mountain to boot.
-
>For the last 20 minutes or so you've been looking for any form of shelter.
-
>Shit though, in this weather you'll get frostbite either way.
-
>You opt to continue down the mountain.
-
>...
-
>His palms are blistered.
-
>Feet raw.
-
>Legs' not ready.
-
>There's vomit on his sweater already: Mom's spaghetti.
-
>He's nervous.
-
>But on the surface he's not calm he's sweaty.
-
>The climb down.
-
>But he keeps almost slippin'.
-
>If he fell down, certain death: not the best.
-
>He opens his mouth, his raspy breaths come out.
-
>He's choking, how? And his bodies failin' now.
-
>The clock's run out, time's up, over, blaow!
-
>Snap back to reality, ope there goes gravity, ope.
-
>There goes Anon, he choked, he's so mad but he won't.
-
>Give up that easy, no, he won't have it, he knows.
-
>His whole back's to these ropes, it don't matter, he's dope.
-
>He knows that but he's broke, he's so stagnant, he knows.
-
>...
-
>You've made it.
-
>Sure, you fell the last 10 feet.
-
>Su re, your ankle is very possible sprained.
-
>Sure, you're miles from civilization with no survival skills or resources.
-
>But you do have one card still in your sleeve.
-
>Or rather, In the undies.
-
>You pull an opium pipe and small stash.
-
>For emergencies only.
-
>Lovingly taped to your groin each morning.
-
>You'd have to conserve.
-
>You doubt horse land has any of the good stuff at all.
-
>Withdrawal probably wouldn't kill you, but would be one son of a bitch.
-
>You toke a modest amount.
-
>Heh, great, ankle don't hurt no more.
-
>Time to keep walking.
-
>Step after step, Anon.
-
>Step after step.
-
>...
-
>Three days.
-
>Without food.
-
>Thank god for the river you've found and since been following.
-
>You estimate to be somewhere in the Everfree forest.
-
>Thank god for the Equestrian-Griffonstone land bridge.
-
>You were damn close to your goal.
-
>Lyra, that damn sexy mare.
-
>Hrng.
-
>You ran out of that delicious black goo™ last night.
-
>You've had a rough cough ever since the mountain.
-
>However, you've stumbled across a certain hut in the woods.
-
>"Zecora, I bet she would help me."
-
"Oh, how curious, a new creature I see. Stranger, even, that he seems to know me"
-
>Well shit.
-
>She was behind you.
-
"I see you are hungry, so come after me. I'll make a soup to provide what you need."
-
>"Thank you."
-
>With a weak smile you follow Zecora.
-
>You sit and watch as she mixes various ingredients into a stew.
-
>As you demolish the bowl she hands you, she speaks.
-
"Where, creature, did you hear my name? I don't believe I'm a zebra of fame,"
-
>Brain, it's lyin' time.
-
>"Gilda. A griffon named Gilda mentioned you. It was a lucky guess really."
-
>She looks at you with suspicion.
-
"I will not press you, but pay heed here. The last zigga who lied was impaled by my spear."
-
>You really hope that isn't a euphemism.
-
>You spend a short time with Zecora before she bandages your wounds and you bid her goodbye.
-
>As thanks, you gave her your opium pipe. Not like you would be needing it.
-
>Sun high in the sky, headache pounding in your head, you begin the final steps toward Ponyville.
-
>...
-
>It's hard to describe Ponyville to someone who has never been there.
-
>Imagine the most beautiful village you've ever seen, then triple it's beauty.
-
>Or maybe that perceived beauty was simply because of how hard it was to get here.
-
>You walk into town.
-
>Ponies stand still and gawk when they see you.
-
>A few skittish ones run away on sight.
-
>You ignore all of them.
-
>A confused twilight sparkle is trying to capture your attention.
-
>BackgroundPonies.Rannoying
-
>And then you see her.
-
>The point of this entire brain-dead journey.
-
>She was walking into a house.
-
>You follow her, slamming the door open.
-
>She jumps a foot into the air and stares wide eyed at you.
-
>You lie on the floor, eyes closed.
-
>This was it.
-
>Everything you had fantasized.
-
>It was about to happen.
-
>The floor is cold.
-
>After a few minutes you hear a pony talking.
-
"Umm, what are you doing?"
-
>"I'm ready."
-
>...
-
>...
-
"Ready?"
-
>You crack an eye open at that.
-
>This isn't right.
-
>"I'm oats. I'm ready for you to eat me, Lyra."
-
"Uhhhhhhh"
-
"Ummmmmmm"
-
>You stand up from the floor and look around.
-
>Lyra and Twilight are staring at you like you're a freakshow.
-
>This wasn't how it was supposed to happen.
-
>This wasn't how any of this was supposed to happen.
-
>"No. Please."
-
>You kneel before Lyra, and she cringes as you put your hands on her shoulders.
-
>"You have to. You have to eat me! I've seen it so many times! I've felt it! Please!"
-
>Lyra continues to stare at you.
-
>You clutch your head in your hands.
-
>"No. NO!"
-
>You break with a guttural scream and leave the house.
-
>Ponies that were watching from just outside scatter to allow you to pass.
-
>No one follows you.
-
>You walk to the edge of town, and sit down.
-
>For the first time since you were a kid, you cry.
-
>No pony.
-
>No narcotics.
-
>You have nothing to live for.
-
>The only thing you have to rely on is opium.
-
>Opium that most likely doesn't exist in this world.
-
>Wait.
-
>Most likely?
-
>A thread of hope.
-
>You quickly single out the mare most likely to know about the stuff, and head to Sugarcube Corner.
-
>"Pinkie Pie."
-
"Oh! Hello! How do you know me? I don't know you! Ooh, are we friends? Can we be friends?"
-
>"Pinkie. In this world, does there exist a black, flammable substance with useful smoke?"
-
"Hmmmmm."
-
>She rubs her chin in thought.
-
"Tar?"
-
>"No. Not tar."
-
"HMMMMMMMM"
-
>She thoughtfully puffs on a bubble-pipe.
-
"Oh! You must mean that flower gunk stuff! Here, come with me!"
-
>You feel slightly better.
-
>Like complete shit, but slightly better.
-
>You follow Pinkie upstairs into her room.
-
>She pulls a huge ball of top shelf shit out of her dresser.
-
>You never had stuff this good back on Earth.
-
>Wait, whydoes she even have a dresser?
-
>"Pinkie. Can we smoke this?"
-
"Welllllll we could, but my fatty pipe broke! And there aren't any more!"
-
[spoiler]You really hope that isn't a euphemism.[/spoiler]
-
>No. It couldn't be true.
-
>"No more?"
-
"Yep no more pipes! And we can't make anymore either!"
-
>You take a step back.
-
>Your heart is beating 2.536 miles a minute.
-
>You hear yourself hyperventilating.
-
>Zecora!
-
>Zecora has the pipe.
-
>You grab the ball from Pinkie and sprint out of Ponyville.
-
>The forest blurs past.
-
>"ZECORA!"
-
>She is standing outside of her hut.
-
"Ah, yes, my new friend, for what reason have you come again?"
-
>"ZECORA! THE PIPE! I NEED IT!"
-
"In my stomach is where the pipe sits, I should inform you it was delish."
-
>She ate it.
-
>SHE FUCKING ATE IT.
-
>You scream into the air.
-
>Pushing Zecora aside, you stomp into her hut.
-
>You grab the spear hanging above her doorway.
-
"No! Stop! The spear, let it drop!
-
>You grit your teeth, kneeling and holding the spear against your chest.
-
>Your aim was true.
-
>Pain that Lyra refused to grant you blossomed out from your chest.
-
>Heh, thanks for all the hard work, old juicer.
-
>Sorry to cut your time short.
-
>You hear Zecora rapidly mixing a potion.
-
>No way she would be able to make it in time.
-
>This time on the ground, you're warm.
-
>You smile and let your eyelids close.
-
>Your last thoughts are of the green mare with a harp on her ass.
-
>And what an ass it was.
-
-
>Farming was hard work.
-
>Nothing a proud earth pony like you couldn't handle.
-
>Still, you were glad to be done for the day.
-
>You stand next to another field hand.
-
"Ay, huckleberry, you ever heard that this place used to be a graveyard?"
-
>"No shit?"
-
"Really. My sister stumbled apon some musty document. Apparently if somethin' nasty turned up and got kilt, they threw it here."
-
>"Hmph. Makes me feel a little worse about my work. Who the hell plants an oat field over a graveyard, anyway?"
-
"Makes sense to me."
-
>...
-
>It was a good strong harvest.
-
>The oats were prepped as usual and sent away to be bagged.
-
>After that they ended up on shelves all across Equestria.
-
>A certain green mare, feeling nostalgic, pics up a bag of her old favorite brand.
-
>It has a strange savory tang to it.
-
>She recalls an incident years ago in Ponyville.
by Rusty_Snoot
by Rusty_Snoot
by Rusty_Snoot
by Rusty_Snoot
by Rusty_Snoot